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Episode 15: The Best Investigator in Dragon City

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"And that is how I outsmarted the Whistleblower of Dragon City and averted a public relations crisis for the SID. Which makes me the best investigator in the city!" Lin Jing says as he raises his bottle of beer in a self-congratulatory toast.

"Yeah right," Zhu Hong says from her side of the coffee table, where they are happily drinking away the last couple hours of the work day while their first-in-command is once again gallivanting off who-knows-where.

"Wrong," Da Qing says. "You're only getting the credit this time because Lao Zhao knows better than to bother me with these trivial little things. Everyone knows that cats are the best scouts in the world. We're fast and quiet, you never know when we're watching!"

Lin Jing snorts at that. "Sure, if you ever bother to do anything other than napping and eating. And having a belly that touches the floor really doesn't scream sleek and sneaky to me."

Da Qing reaches over to swipe at Lin Jing with his fingers curled into a claw. He would transform into a cat to better make his point, but then he would have to let go of his beer; he is a gracious cat, and it's enough that the self-satisfied little human understands the threat.

"Did you forget I'm your deputy chief?" Da Qing retorts. "Which means that I'm in charge since Lao Zhao is out." Zhu Hong and Lin Jing look at each other, then burst into laughter. Da Qing glares at them. But it's alright, because he has saved the knockout punch for last. "Besides, did you forget who supplies you with all the juiciest Lao Zhao gossip? Maybe I'll just save it all for Lao Li from now on. He gives me fish, what do you two do for me?"

"Like we care what Lao Zhao gets up to," Zhu Hong mutters, which is so transparent a lie that Da Qing doesn't even bother to call her out on it.

But Lin Jing gratifyingly plays along. "O Great Cat," the computer geek wails dramatically. "Not the Lao Zhao gossip! We are your humble servants, and your tales bring the light to our miserable lives."

"That's more like it," Da Qing sniffs then grins. "So, wanna know what I saw yesterday?"

At the other two's only mildly concealed curious looks, Da Qing continues. "So I snuck into Professor Shen's apartment because he always buys fi—er, to continue the investigation because Lao Zhao has apparently given up on that. I decided to stake it out for a couple hours—"

"You mean you fell asleep," Zhu Hong cuts in with a roll of her eyes.

"—and I found the professor coming back with his laundry. And guess what I caught him lifting out of the bag? I'll give you one guess: it's all black, and long, and goes whoosh when you jump on it."

Lin Jing and Zhu Hong are looking at him now, wide-eyed.

"You should have seen his face when he saw me leaping out of the corner!" Da Qing brags, lifting his hands and arching his back to recreate his fearsome ambush. "He pulled it out of my hands more quickly than I've ever seen him move, and made up some excuse about university gowns. He wouldn't meet my eyes the entire time!"

Da Qing leans in closer to the others so he can whisper more conspiratorially. "That's not all. The other day, I caught Lao Zhao calling him 'Hei-laoge' when he thought they were alone, while doing that gross thing with his lollipop and wagging his eyebrows like a stupid puppy at a treat. I could see how red Shen Wei's ears got from across the room!" Da Qing cackles. "This can mean only one thing..."

His coworkers look at each other, then back at Da Qing. Good, he thinks. He can smell their interest, which is as it should be because he is telling a riveting story. "Lao Zhao is making the professor roleplay as his creepy black-robed crush! Poor Professor Shen. Not only does Lao Zhao make him clean up after him, he also makes him put up with his weird kinks." Da Qing scrunches up his nose and shakes his head in disapproval.

"Completely shameless," Zhu Hong agrees.

"What an animal," Lin Jing adds with a hint of admiration in his voice.

There, Da Qing thinks. He has yet again solidified his position as the best investigator in Dragon City. These stupid humans, thinking they can hide anything from the keen senses and genius mind of the King of Cats.