Losing My Religion

by burberrylou

Summary:

Ed Teach was raised by his devout pastor father, who has firm influence over Ed's life. When he discovers how Ed has strayed from God's path, he sends him to a priest. It goes differently than expected.

NOTE: this work touches topics of homophobia and abuse. the first chapter contains graphic depictions of a hate crime. later chapters will contain explicit sexual situations involving a priest. PLEASE DO NOT READ if any of these things are triggering for you!!

Chapter 1: Reconciliation

Ed Teach had always been devout. Raised in small-town southern Alabama, Ed grew up the way most good Christian boys did. He never questioned when his daddy raised a hand against his mother, because as his daddy reminded him every Sunday, it wasn’t Ed’s place to question God’s will.

 

So, Ed grew up devout. He went to church every Sunday to hear his daddy preach, and spent the rest of the day doing his weekly bible studies. During the week, Ed went to school during the day and did his homework and chores at night. Wash, rinse, repeat. His daddy didn’t believe in having a television, so Ed got skilled at reading. By the time he was sixteen, Ed had read every book in their home twice. When he finally got a library card, his world was overrun by new exposure to fantasy, science fiction, adventure, and romance.

 

Romance caught his eye the most. He found himself utterly overcome at the descriptions of the men in romance novels: how strong, righteous, heroic they were. The way they swept in to save the day or sweep some unassuming lover off their feet. 

 

Ed was twenty-one when he realized he was picturing himself in the position of lover swept off of their feet, rather than the masculine hero doing the sweeping. He was twenty-one when he realized he would never be the man his daddy wanted him to be. At twenty-four, Ed started seminary. At twenty-five, he dropped out, placating his parents with some excuse about being called by God to guide the lives of the youth. Ed became a children’s minister. He hurled himself into his work during the day, spending his time shaping God’s word, translating it into language that children could understand. 

 

His passions lie with the at-risk families: single mothers, teenage runaways, children who were always out just a couple minutes too late for there to be anyone back home waiting on them to come inside. Ed’s father told him he ought to settle down, find one of the single mothers who’d found her way back to God, have himself a couple of children, and maybe go back to seminary. Every time it came up, Ed found a way to change the subject. By twenty-eight, Ed could change a subject so smoothly that his conversation partners never picked up on it. He also knew every hymn sung at his father’s church and could recite all of Leviticus from memory. 

 

Ed was twenty-eight when he started bringing home men at night. Because he had opted to live in the city, closer to his ministry’s location, Ed had no trouble finding men from the other side of the tracks . He made plenty of friends who he only saw after the sun went down, who all thought he lived a couple hours outside the city. He learned how to read body language like it was an art. He learned to suck cock like it was his life’s purpose. Ed learned there were better things to do on his knees than pray.

 

He started celebrating pride—discreetly, sure, but celebrating all the same. He found a supportive network who allowed him to explore the queer world, frequenting gay clubs and other queer-positive scenes at night, when he didn’t have to play minister. Ed developed a love for fine fabrics, sweet drinks, and glitter on his eyes. He experimented for the first time in his life, exploring what sex could be. His endeavors weren’t limited to men. He had been limited and restricted his entire life—Ed broadened his horizons to the best of his abilities, meeting the kinds of people his father condemned and discovering all the different ways to love them, and be loved in return. 

 

Ed was thirty-one when his father walked in on Ed on his knees, a cock so far down his throat that Ed couldn’t breathe. 

 

Ed was thirty-one when his father beat him within an inch of his life.

 

The last thing Ed saw of the man he brought home from the club, he was holding his pants up with one hand as sprinted out the door. Even in the face of his father, he thought about what an awful pity it was. He had thought they might be able to become fast friends. 

 

“Is this what I raised you to be? A fucking abomination? ” Pastor Teach hissed through his teeth, pinning Ed to the wall by his throat. Ed scrabbled at the hand around his neck to no avail. “A fucking queer? No son of mine is a cocksucker, I’ll tell you what. You are fucking revolting, a stain on humanity and a waste of human life.” 

 

Ripping his son forward off the wall, he hurled him to the floor, pressing a knee to his chest. His hand never left Ed’s throat, squeezing tighter as he spit on his face. 

 

“If your mother could see you right now, she’d regret ever carrying you in her womb. She would have been better off dead than to have produced the likes of you. You’re a fucking disgrace, a waste of my seed.” He stood, landing brutal kick after kick to Ed’s ribs and chest. Ed tried to curl in on himself to protect the soft part of his stomach, but his father placed a well-polished dress shoe in the middle of his chest and shifted his weight onto him, keeping him held down. 

 

“We should have put you down like an unwanted puppy when you were a baby to save us the headache now,” Pastor Teach growled, landing a blow directly in the soft part of Ed’s side. “You’re a fucking disease .”

 

After he deemed his handiwork satisfactory, he stepped back and crouched down to speak more directly into Ed’s ear. “Do not leave this fucking apartment until I come to get you, do you understand? If I find out you contacted anyone in the meantime, I will put you and I both out of our misery much sooner rather than later. Understand me, boy?”

 

Wheezing, Ed managed some semblance of a nod. With that, his father placed one more direct kick to his side, and turned to leave. The slam of the door behind him was the only sound that echoed around the apartment other than Ed’s wheezing breath. 

 

The blood trickling down the back of his throat made him gag, and Ed managed to roll over, vomiting from the feeling in his throat and the pain. Every inch of his body throbbed and ached. His nose was probably broken, judging by the sharp spikes of pain radiating out from it. 

 

Ed had been so careful, only frequenting clubs far from where his father might ever venture, always scheduling family visits ahead of time under the excuse of his busy schedule with the kids. He had maintained his parents’ strict adherence to communication and a schedule. Ever since he had been a child, his parents had known Ed’s schedule down to the minute. His entire life had been church, school, church study, school study, eat, sleep, repeat. He had been so careful . His head pounded, and by the time he realized his vision was growing dark, Ed was halfway to unconscious already.

 

When he came to, the sun had set and the darkness of the apartment was eerie. Ed, still wheezing painfully with each breath, pulled himself to his knees, then to a standing position. Gritting his teeth to distract from the sharp pains that seemed to come from everywhere, Ed made his way to the bathroom. 

 

Collapsing in the tub, Ed turned on the water. His vision and lack of motor control made the water slightly hotter than bearable, but he had no strength left to change it. He laid there, water rinsing the blood from his skin and clothes, until the water went from hot to lukewarm to ice cold. 

 

Sitting in his waterlogged clothes, shivering, Ed stared at the ceiling. In his thirty-one years of life, he had never felt so utterly alone. 

*******

Two days later, Pastor Teach found Ed still curled in the fetal position in his shower. 

 

“Get up.” His voice echoed around the bathroom, cold and flat. 

 

Ed blinked his eyes open, blearily. The bathroom was cast in shadow, the only light coming from the hallway, streaming in around the silhouette of his father standing in the doorway. Everything came rushing back at once, the pain in his body almost overwhelming enough to send him back into unconsciousness. 

 

“Get up , Edward,” his father growled. “Be in the car in five minutes.”

 

“I—” Ed cleared his throat. “I can’t w-walk, Dad.” 

 

Snorting over his shoulder, Pastor Teach had already disappeared from the doorway. “I suggest you figure it out.”

 

All of Ed’s limbs trembled as he hoisted himself off of the floor of his shower, bloody water streaming off of him in rivulets as he moved. He made it three steps before collapsing to his knees, letting out an anguished cry as the force of the floor jolted all of his injuries, sending shooting pain throughout his body. He struggled back to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall. Whatever his father had planned for him, he couldn’t even begin to fathom, but he had a feeling that it couldn’t get worse than the pain he was already suffering. 

 

The stairs were agony. Ed stumbled twice, barely able to catch himself on the railing. Dragging himself outside, he pulled the passenger side door of his father’s car open and collapsed inside. A sermon was playing over the stereo, a lecture about the dangers of homosexuality and the consequences of sin washing over Ed.

 

Pastor Teach didn’t speak to Ed for the majority of the ride. He watched as his city faded into the dawn light behind him, trying not to let the angry sermon playing over the speakers sink in. Ed had spent too much time as a young adult learning how to tune out the homophobia he had been raised with to allow the events of the past few days undo him. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw the look on his father’s face when he walked into his apartment. The silence in the car outside of what was playing through the speakers was heavy and cold, almost unbearable. 

 

Ed wondered what his father had told his mother. He wondered if he had told her anything at all, or if he hadn’t felt the need to explain why he had bruised knuckles and was sweating when he had arrived home the other night. Or if she had gotten a similar treatment, if she had asked. 

 

Ten minutes before the ride ended, Pastor Teach spoke. 

 

“This is going to be what’s best for you. A little extra time with God will help get your head back on straight,” he began, voice flat and cold. “I can’t tell you how incredibly disappointed I am to know now what kind of man you’ve become. How you’ve chosen to spend your time with these… dalliances of yours. You’ve been on this planet for thirty-one years and I would never have believed you could end up going down such a revolting path.”

 

Ed didn’t respond. He fixed his gaze on the sky, far off in the distance. Everything he had left in him was dedicated to keeping himself conscious. His father’s words barely processed.

 

“Father Bonnet has agreed to…take you under his wing, per se. He offers his assistance to those who have been led astray, helps get them back on course. I can only hope, for your sake, he can heal you. How you’ve gotten yourself down such a wrong path, I will never be able to understand. You were such a good kid, a good son…”

 

His father’s voice faded out as Ed battled for consciousness once more. He took a deep breath through his nose. The knowledge that he was headed to a priest churned up something deep in his stomach. Ed had survived religious indoctrination before, that didn’t concern him. It was more to do with the new violence he had experienced first hand from his father. If someone who had raised him, spent his life caring for him could react with such anger and be so vicious, what horrors could he expect from Father Bonnet? How was this man going to heal Ed? 

 

The last few minutes of the drive were hazy at best, Ed’s awareness skewed from pain and anxiety. It was silent in the car once more as the two men drove up a narrow, winding driveway. Thick trees lined the driveway on each side, giving Ed the distinct impression of being trapped. At the end of the driveway, the trees gave way to a plot of land. Pastor Teach pulled the car up next to a wooden cabin, parking. 

 

“Stay here. I’ll go introduce myself and get everything sorted out. I’ll come get you when it’s time,” Pastor Teach stated, slamming the car door behind him. 

 

In the silence of the empty car, Ed focused on breathing through the pain in his body. Whatever was expected of him over the course of the foreseeable future, Ed knew he would need whatever strength he could muster up. His solitude seemed to go on for hours, though he knew in reality it was likely only half an hour at most. Sitting there alone allowed his  mind to think through the different torture methods he may face in the weeks to come, the different ways Father Bonnet could attempt to bring Ed back to the righteous path. 

 

Ed’s stomach churned as he considered the possible trajectories of this punishment. He’d heard of the different conversion camps and what methods were used in them to put people back on the straight and narrow , so to speak. He could only imagine what methods a priest opted to use—not to mention a priest who had somehow garnered his father’s support. Ed curled forward in his seat, nausea and shooting pains threatening to overwhelm him. He should have forced himself to go to an emergency room after his father had left the other night and at least begged for some painkillers. Anything to ease the pain.

 

The car door swung open and his father wrapped his hand around Ed’s upper arm, hoisting him from the vehicle. Ed couldn’t contain the yelp of pain that escaped as he collapsed to his knees on the dirt driveway.

 

“Thank you for being willing to take this on, Father,” his father’s voice seemed to come from miles away, barely sinking in through the haze of pain clouding Ed’s mind. “Good luck and Godspeed.”

 

There was the sound of a car door slamming, then a second one. He heard the engine turn over and the sound of tires on gravel were almost entirely faded by the time Ed realized he was sobbing. How humiliating, to be thirty-one years old, on your knees in front of a priest you’d never met, dumped out of the car like garbage by your own father. Ed wondered if perhaps there had been some truth to all the stories of Hell, and if perhaps he was already there.

 

Suddenly, there were gentle hands under Ed’s armpits, helping him stand. He didn’t dare open his eyes, knowing the world was already spinning and he would only fall back to the ground, or worse, vomit all over the man in front of him. 

 

“Shhh, take a deep breath for me, hm? It’s going to be okay.” The voice speaking to him was soft, warm and gentle in ways no one had spoken to Ed in years. Ed only wept harder. 

 

He felt an arm around his back and another behind his knees, lifting him bridal-style. As much as everything ached, it was a relief to be off his feet. He whimpered as the movement pressed on his ribcage, and he allowed his head to loll against the man’s shoulder. He realized this must not be the priest, otherwise this was some cruel trick to goad him into relaxing, becoming vulnerable before the real journey began. The man’s chest vibrated against his side, implying he was speaking to Ed, but he was in no mindset to understand. 

 

The last thing Ed understood before succumbing to unconsciousness once more was the man saying once again, “it’s going to be okay.”

*******

 

When Ed came to, he had the distinct impression that he had been crushed by a semi-truck, or maybe a military tank. His entire body ached and throbbed, and each breath sent stabbing pains through his entire being. As he came to full consciousness, Ed realized he was in a bed. Blinking his eyes open, he took in the room. 

 

Painted a soft pastel lilac, the walls of the room were covered in pictures frames and paintings. Directly across from the bed, in the middle of the wall, was a painting of a lighthouse. It appeared to be almost stained-glass-esque. It stood out from the light colors of the wall, drawing the eye immediately. Ed’s first thought is that it’s an odd contrast to the rest of the wall decorations, which all appear to be photos of people or nature. It occurred to him quickly that the contents of the room decoration were not that important as he remembered the circumstances that led to this new room.

 

Ed pushed himself up to a sitting position, letting out an exhausted groan of pain as his body protested the movement. Once sitting, he realized quickly that his bloodstained clothes were gone, and his torso was wrapped in bandages. Glancing to his left, Ed took note of the three bottles of painkillers (Ibuprofen, Acetaminophen, and Percocet?) and the massive glass of water, which he reached for immediately to chug.

 

He was so caught up in drinking for the first time he could consciously recall in days that he didn’t hear the bedroom door open. 

 

“Ah, the sleeping beauty has awoken!” At the voice at the door, Ed’s entire body tensed up and he choked on his water. “Oh, dear, don’t do that.” 

 

The man came into Ed’s line of sight and took the glass from his hand, replacing it on the nightstand before rubbing Ed’s back with a soft, but firm touch. He made soothing noises, continuing to rub Ed’s back until his coughing fit subsided, at which point he hunched over from the pain it had stirred up in his abdomen. 

 

“I do terribly apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you,” the man said softly, reaching for the bottles of painkillers. “I wasn’t sure if you would have a preference on medicine, but unless you’re against it, I’m going the percocet route for now. You’re banged up pretty badly and if nothing else, this one will help you sleep it off a bit. How does that sound?”

 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Ed groaned. “You’re ramblin’ a bit, s’what I think,” he rasped, flinching as soon as the words left his mouth. He knew better than to speak to the man this way, even if he wasn’t the priest.

 

The man only chuckled, a gentle sound. “I have a tendency to do that, I’m afraid. But that doesn’t sound like a ‘no’ on the percocet, so that’s what we’re going with. Come here,” he said softly, helping Ed sit up, leaning Ed against his own torso. “Here we go, open up.”

 

He tilted Ed’s head back against his shoulder and set a pill on his tongue, lifting the glass of water to his lips and tipping some into his mouth. He set the glass of water back on the side table, rubbing Ed’s bicep soothingly. 

 

“Alright, there we go,” he murmured. “It’ll take a bit for it to kick in but you should start feeling better soon.”

 

Ed groaned softly. “Thanks, I guess. Do you work for the priest?”

 

The man’s hand stilled on Ed’s arm for a moment, before resuming the soft stroking. “I guess you could say that, yes.”

 

“Mmm,” Ed’s eyes slipped closed. “Whass’e gonna do t’me?” 

 

Shifting, the man maneuvered Ed’s body into a horizontal position once more. “How about you stop worrying about that until you’re all patched up, and then we can talk about it, okay?”

 

“Hmmmph,” was all Ed could muster up, sunken back into the pillows as he was. His body made the decision to have the discussion at a later time without any input from Ed, who sunk into sleep before his body had fully relaxed. 

*******

The next few days passed in a blur of sleep and short bouts of wakefulness, when Ed was rejoined by the man and made to eat or drink, or take another dose of medication. He was occasionally awoken by the need to use the restroom, but the man was never far off and incredibly respectful whenever Ed needed assistance in those intimate situations. 

 

When he finally woke up with a clear head, Ed realized his body was in significantly less pain than it had previously been in. As he pushed himself into a sitting position, he realized the man was seated in a rocking chair in the far corner of the room, reading a novel. It took the man a few moments to realize Ed’s changed state of consciousness, and Ed utilized those moments to really observe his companion.

 

He was young, roughly Ed’s age, give or take a couple years. There were delicate crows’ feet at the corners of his eyes, and soft smile lines around his mouth. His brown eyes were focused intently on the book in his hands, made evident by the furrow of his blond brow. His hair was a soft gold color, curls falling just short of his ears. Objectively, he was an attractive man. Ed wondered if this was some sort of sick test of the priest’s.

 

The man startled when he glanced up and caught Ed sitting upright and staring openly at him, dropping the book into his lap. 

 

“Oh, ah, good morning! Or, er—” He glanced at the clock at Ed’s bedside. “Afternoon, I suppose. Are you feeling any better?”

 

Ed took stock of his body briefly before responding. “I feel less like I got run over by a truck and more like I was thrown from a motorcycle, so I guess that’s an improvement.”

 

The man chuckled, a light, friendly sound. “I would call that an improvement, quite. Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

 

“Uh, I could eat, I guess,” Ed hedged. “Er…do I have to eat in here?”

 

This time, the man laughed a throaty, full-bellied laugh. “No, no, you can come to the kitchen. I’ve just been bringing your meals here to make things easier on you. Nothing complicated, of course, just mostly soups and some rice. Now we can start getting some real food in you.”

 

He crossed the room, offering his hands to Ed, who only hesitated a moment before accepting the help to stand. The man wrapped an arm around Ed’s waist, helping him become steady on his feet before releasing him with a grin and gesturing for Ed to follow him.

 

As they walked to the kitchen, Ed took in more of the house. The hallway was painted a pastel yellow, and was lined with photographs, paintings, and drawings of different people and places. They passed a room that appeared to be an office or library of sorts, as it was lined entirely with overflowing bookshelves, with the exception of one wall that appeared to be dedicated to crosses and crucifixes. Ed exhaled sharply and hurried to catch up with the man in front of him.

 

“Er, by the way, mate,” he called. “What uh, what’s your name?”

 

“I’m Stede,” he responded with a grin. “Don’t recall our introductions the other night, then?”

 

“Uh…” Ed stopped as he crossed the threshold to the kitchen. “...no?”

 

The man— Stede looked over at Ed, still grinning. “I believe the segue was ‘if you’re going to help me hold my dick, you gotta at least give me a name’ or something along those lines.” He buried himself in the fridge, oblivious to Ed’s gasp.

 

Ed, for his credit, did his best not to pass out as all of the blood drained from his face. “I—fucking, I said what? ” He gripped the edge of the counter to keep himself upright. “ Christ mate, I’m sorry.”

 

Stede chuckled, coming out of the fridge with sliced ham and cheese. “Not a problem, Ed, I’ve heard worse. I’m twenty-eight, I’ve had time to explore.”

 

Ed hummed. “You’re younger than me.”

 

Glancing up, Stede smirked. “Only by a couple years, from my understanding. I think maybe spiritually I’m wiser.”

 

Rubbing a hand over his face, Ed shrugged. “Yeah, probably. If I were smarter I don’t think I’d be here.”

 

With a hum, Stede plated their sandwiches. “Water or juice?”

 

“Uh, I’ll stick with water, I guess.”

 

Stede nodded, pouring two glasses of water from the pitcher in the fridge. He handed a glass and a plate to Ed, and jerked his head toward the open door. Bumping the screen door open with his hip, Stede waved Ed through and beelined for the two rocking chairs on the porch. He settled down with a sigh, resting his glass on the table between the chairs. 

 

“So, tell me about yourself, Ed,” he muttered, swallowing a bite of his sandwich.

 

“Well, not much to say,” Ed hedged, turning his sandwich over in his hands. “I’m thirty-one, dropped out of seminary back in my twenties, been living on my own in the city, and I’m a children’s minister—or, I was, I guess. I guess that’s gonna change now that my dad’s…” He trailed off, lost in thought. He hadn’t had the chance to think about how his father’s discovery and subsequent freakout were going to reshape his life entirely. His world would be entirely different whenever he got out of here. 

 

Or, if he ever got out of here.

 

“How long have you known you were gay?” Stede’s voice is soft, as non-judgmental as it’s been since they met, but Ed is still thrown off by the question. 

 

Ed cleared his throat, taking a bite of his sandwich to buy himself some time. Unfortunately, it appeared Stede was a patient man, and he waited calmly for Ed to finish his bite to be able to speak. 

 

“I was twenty-one, I guess, officially,” he finally said. Stede hummed. “I think I knew awhile before then, just…didn’t really realize it was an option, I guess.”

 

Stede hummed again. “I think that’s a pretty common experience to have, from my understanding.”

 

The two men descended into silence. Ed took the time to look around at the property he found himself on. He assumed they were on the back porch, since he couldn’t see the driveway he’d come in on. Ahead of him, maybe four hundred feet away, was a small stone chapel surrounded by a well-kept garden. The garden extended all the way to the treeline, where he could see what appeared to be a small barn and surrounding paddock. In the other direction, a small creek cut through the property, disappearing around the other side of the house. 

 

Ed gestured toward the barn with his chin. “What’s that over there? The barn lookin’ thing.”

 

“Ah,” Stede made a pleased noise. “That’s all it is! There are a couple goats in there, and a couple sheep. Around the other side is a hen house, and then there’s one cow but she’s off at the vet for the next week or two, getting a surgery done.”

 

“Um…alright,” Ed furrowed his brow. “And the garden?”

 

Stede turned to him, looking confused. “It’s a garden.”

 

“Right,” Ed responded. “But uh, why? Is there not a grocery store around here?”

 

Staying quiet for a moment, Stede tilted his head at Ed. “There is,” he said eventually. “I just think it’s nice to be a bit self-sustained. It’s good for staying grounded and connecting with the earth around you.”

 

Ed nodded slowly. “Right. Alright, that makes…sense, I guess.” He watched Stede as he finished his sandwich, setting his plate down on the table next to his glass. He looked down at his own sandwich, only half finished and sighed.

 

“So, Ed, can you…tell me about your dad?” Ed tensed at the question, his shoulders hunching inward and all of the sore parts of his body seeming to want to make themselves known again. “You were in a bad state when you got here. Still are, if I’m being honest.” Stede’s voice was even softer than it had been thus far. 

 

Ed sighed. “How bad is it?”

 

Stede appeared to hesitate, before steeling himself to respond. “You’ve got some broken and bruised ribs, as well as pretty severe bruising elsewhere. Pretty much…everywhere else. I think you also have a concussion, but it appears to be fairly mild. Your neck and throat were pretty badly bruised, and I think your kidneys might also be bruised, but that is much more difficult to analyze without the proper medical instruments.” Stede paused again, rubbing his forehead. “You have a pretty lengthy recovery ahead of you, physically. I would imagine that…spiritually, I mean, I would imagine that you have an even longer one.”

 

Ed sat frozen in his chair, unable to turn and meet Stede’s gaze. 

 

“You have a lot to process, Ed, I know,” Stede continued softly. “This…is a safe place for you. To heal.” He stood, taking the plates in hand and making to head inside.

 

“What about when Father Bonnet shows up to ‘fix me?’” Ed asked bitterly.

 

Stede stopped, turning to look back at Ed quizzically. “Ed…I am Father Bonnet.”

Chapter 2: Acquainted

Summary:

Father Bonnet and Ed get acquainted.

Notes:

no specific warnings for this chapter, but there are some mentions of homophobia and hate-inflicted violence. this is mostly just our boys learning to co-habitate!

Ed sat by himself on the porch for a long time, long enough that the ache in his body had made itself known once more. Still, he sat. His first instinct, that the kindness was a trick to lull him into a relaxed state, buzzed in the back of his mind. Stede—Father Bonnet—had seemed so kind. There was still nothing he had done to suggest otherwise, but Ed knew that if this was the solution chosen by his father, the kindness was too good to be true. Somehow, things were going to change. 

 

Across the property, the sun began to sink behind the trees, lighting up the sky in pinks and golds. Ed could hear Father Bonnet in the kitchen once more, doing God knows what. The man was humming as he worked, something with a hymnal sound to it. Ed felt numb. The world around him seemed surreal. At any moment, Ed was going to shoot awake from this nightmare and find himself in his bed at his apartment, surrounded by his favorite sheets and his grandmother’s quilt. Any moment now.

 

“Ed?” 

 

He jolted, glancing toward the kitchen door. Father Bonnet stood in the doorway, holding a glass of water and the percocet bottle.

 

Ed shakes his head. “I’m fine,” he grunts. 

 

Father Bonnet sighs. “Ed, I’m going to have to insist that you take the pain meds for at least another day. If we know the pain is manageable by dinnertime tomorrow, you can switch to one of the over the counter medicines and take it as needed.” He leaves the doorway, crouching in front of Ed’s chair. “Please, Ed.”

 

Keeping his eyes averted, fixed on the barn, Ed holds out his hand. Father Bonnet tipped a pill into his palm, then handed him the water to wash it down. Instead of going back inside, however, Father Bonnet sits back in the other rocking chair. The sun disappeared behind the trees.

 

“This is my favorite time of year to sit out here after the sun sets,” he said, keeping his voice soft. “The lightning bugs here are so active in the summer. I like to come out here after working with the animals or in the garden all day, and just watch the sun set. The air cools down and it’s like a small piece of heaven.”

 

Ed hummed in acknowledgment and took another sip of his water, eyes still fixed somewhere in the yard.

 

“When the summer passes, the leaves all change colors by Halloween and it looks like a painting out here. It’s the most incredible sight.” Father Bonnet trailed off, seemingly lost in his memories. “I grew up not far from here,” he finally continued. “I was raised by a pretty strict father as well.”

 

Finally, Ed turned to gape at Father Bonnet. “Pretty strict? Pretty strict? ” He got to his feet. “I don’t know if you picked up on it, mate, but my father is a bit more than pretty strict . Unless you’ve seen fathers beat their sons to death for shits.”

 

Father Bonnet pursed his lips. “Not for shits, no.”

 

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Fathers like ours don’t beat their sons ‘for shits,’ Ed, they usually have a reason,” Father Bonnet stated lowly. “I don’t make light of parents abusing their children, regardless of beliefs, but yes, I have seen fathers beat their sons to death.” He raised a challenging brow at Ed. “I think men like our fathers should never have become fathers. I don’t think they deserve children. I’ve seen enough cases to know how it goes.”

 

“Right, because they send them to you!” Ed shouted, throwing his hands up. “To fix us! To make us better! Isn’t that your whole job?”

 

“That’s what I claim to do, yes.”

 

Ed laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. “”Cause you’re a damn priest. Devoted to God and all that bullshit. I know what that means.”

 

Father Bonnet made a wounded noise. “Being devoted to God doesn’t mean being like your father, or mine, Ed,” he said quietly. “Their God isn’t how things should be.”

 

Scoffing, Ed rolled his eyes. “Whatever, mate. I’m going to bed.” He slammed open the kitchen door, letting it close with a bang behind him. 

 

“Goodnight, Ed.” He heard Father Bonnet’s voice drift through the screen as he walked away. 

*******

Sleep proved evasive for Ed after the events of the day. His mind replayed the easy conversation with Father Bonnet before he told Ed who he was, all the gentle touches and kind treatment from the time he woke up. The kind treatment even before he woke up. And then showing up outside to make him take more painkillers, just to be comfortable.

 

Ed scoffed, rolling over. Every toss and turn sent an ache through his body, reminding him of what exactly the consequences were for men like him. 

 

And what the fuck had he meant, telling Ed their fathers were the same? That implied that Father Bonnet was—no, it only meant that he knew of his own father’s worldviews. Or maybe he had a queer sibling. 

 

Ed’s mind continued to betray him, reminding him of Father Bonnet’s words in the moments before his identity was revealed. “This is a safe place for you,” he had said. What had he meant by safe? Was he trying to convince Ed to open up to him? It isn’t like Ed had a choice of being on the property or not. He had no idea where he was, let alone how close it was to the nearest place he could find help if he tried to leave. He didn’t have his phone or his wallet with him anyway—no identification. Not to mention he was still injured, whether he wanted Father Bonnet to know that or not. How could he thirty-one years old and so incredibly stupid?

 

He tossed and turned for hours, listening to Father Bonnet moving around the house. By the time Ed had finally fallen asleep, there had been no movement in the house in a while and the sky was once again turning pink above the trees.

*******

Ed woke up to a hand gently shaking him. He startled, jerking away from the contact, only to see Father Bonnet freeze above him.

 

“Sorry, terribly sorry,” the man whispered. “It’s time for another pill, and I’ve made breakfast if you’re up for it.” He held out his palm, a percocet sitting in the middle of it. Ed took it, blinking sleep out of his eyes. “There we are, that’s lovely. Here,” he handed Ed a glass of water. 

 

“Even if you aren’t up for a full meal, I’m going to have to insist that you eat something. I’d like to take a look at your torso as well, if it’s alright with you.” Father Bonnet stood awkwardly back from the bed.

 

Ed cleared his throat, pulling himself out of the bed. “No, I’ll eat. I, uh,” he coughed. “I missed dinner.”

 

Father Bonnet nodded. “I thought you might want some space. I figured you might be hungry but I didn’t…really know what you might want to eat. I made pancakes!” He paused, scratching under the collar of his shirt. Ed found his eyes following the motion. “Er, I also made eggs and bacon, and then I have toast if you’d rather have that. I’ve got marmalade in the fridge.”

 

“Yeah, mate,” Ed swallowed. “Sounds good.” 

 

Ed followed Father Bonnet into the kitchen, eyeing the loose linen pants and flowy white shirt the man was wearing. He was dressed more like a pirate than a priest. 

 

The kitchen smelled divine. Sweet and savory smells all swirled together and Ed took a deep inhale. It had been quite some time since someone had cooked breakfast for him. The few and far between times someone spent the night, it was usually a quick goodbye the following morning, respective parties off to continue on with their busy adult lives. Something deep in Ed’s chest ached and he knew it wasn’t from the bruising.

 

“So you have the choice of orange or cranberry juice,” Father Bonnet informed Ed. “Or if you’d still rather have water, we can do that instead.”

 

“Er, orange juice would be nice, thanks.” Ed accepted the glass from Father Bonnet, taking a sip. “Is this…fresh-pressed?” He flicked his eyes up at Ed in disbelief.

 

Father Bonnet chuckled uncertainly. “Guilty! It’s my favorite way to drink it. You can help yourself, and there’s salt and pepper in the cabinet and the marmalades in the fridge,” he said, handing Ed a plate.

 

Ed loaded up on pancakes, eggs, and bacon. He settled down on one end of the table, watching Father Bonnet fill his own plate and fetch the marmalade. 

 

The two men ate in silence, broken by the occasional murmur of praise from Ed and acknowledgment from Father Bonnet. Ed ate slowly, trying to savor each bite. Breakfast was his favorite meal of the day. Being offered freshly homemade breakfast foods by the priest assigned to give him conversion therapy was unexpected to say the least, but Ed was beginning to accept that nothing about this experience was going to be what he expected.

 

“So, I was thinking that today you could meet the animals, if you’d like,” Father Bonnet said while he put away the remainder of the food. “You’ll be working with them quite a bit while you’re here and it’s probably best for you to get to know them before then—or at least I’d rather get to know someone before they start putting their nose in my business.”

 

Ed snorted from where he was stationed at the sink, washing the dishes. “I guess. What am I gonna be doing with them?

 

“Well, after you’re fully healed, checking on the animals will be a part of your daily chores. You’ll get the eggs from the chickens every day and feed all of the animals. When Tipsy gets back then I’ll teach you how to milk her as well.” 

 

“ Tipsy?! ” Ed sputtered. “You named your cow Tipsy?”

 

Father Bonnet spun to face him, looking vaguely offended. “Yes? She was unsteady on her feet as a calf and ended up falling a lot, looked a bit like she was drunk.” He turned back to the tupperware he was trying desperately to fit in the fridge. “I thought it suited her,” he muttered.

 

Ed ducked his head, busying himself with the last plate. “No, it’s a fine name. I didn’t mean to offend you, s’just unique, that’s all.”

 

Father Bonnet hummed but didn’t reply. After the breakfast dishes were fully washed and put away, both men went to their respective rooms to change.

 

Ed stood in the doorway to his room, frozen in place by the sudden realization that he didn’t have any clothing with him. It wasn’t like he was given the chance to pack a bag before he left. He knew that while he had been essentially comatose that Father Bonnet had put him in some of his own underwear, but Ed hadn’t been wearing anything other than a cashmere robe the man had given him when he first felt well enough to get out of bed.

With a resigned sigh, Ed went down the hall to stand outside of Father Bonnet’s room. He hesitated outside the door, shifting from foot to foot. While he knew that Father Bonnet would most likely be kind and understanding about the situation, a voice in the back of his mind screamed that he should be ashamed for having ever been put in this situation at all. Shaking his head, he squared his shoulders and knocked.

 

“Come in!” Came Father Bonnet’s voice, muffled through the door.

 

Turning the handle, Ed began to explain. “I know that I should have thought about it sooner but it didn’t occur to me that I don’t have any clothes here and unless you want me to meet the animals dressed in just a pair of your briefs and a bathrobe, I guess I have to ask if I could…” 

 

Ed’s voice trailed off as his eyes landed on Father Bonnet’s form. The man’s bare back was to him, showing off broad, defined shoulders tapering down to a slim waist. Covered in a golden tan from working in the sun, Ed could see the man’s muscles shifting under his skin as he raised his arms above his head to pull a t-shirt on. 

 

“Ah, I forgot!” Father Bonnet leaned over to dig through a drawer in his dresser, pulling his yet-another-pair of linen pants tight over his ass. Ed forced himself to swallow thickly. “I meant to talk to you about clothing yesterday but ultimately deduced that it would be more beneficial to offer you space than force you to talk—what?”

 

His eyes met Ed’s and widened, looking down and giving himself a once over. 

 

Ed coughed. “Nothing, Jesus, sorry. M’just tired. Y’know, percocet.”

 

“Ah,” Father Bonnet nodded sagely. “Perfectly understandable. After dinner we can switch to one of the other medications and see how it goes overnight.” He held out the shirt clutched in his hand. “Take this shirt, and let me see…” 

 

He turned back around and continued digging, before pulling out a dark brown pair of… linen pants. “Et voila!”

 

Ed winced. “Do you have…like…jeans?”

 

“I do…” Father Bonnet’s brow furrowed. “But won’t you get hot?”

 

“Uh, probably, but I gotta be honest, mate, I’m not a linen guy.”

 

Father Bonnet frowned and then turned back around, replacing the linen pants and pulling out a worn pair of light-wash denim jeans. Ed accepted the pants and hightailed it back to his own room to change. 

 

What the fuck was he thinking, ogling a priest? To make it worse, a priest whose sole job is running a one-on-one conversion therapy mindfuck of an operation. Which, speaking of, what was his fucking end goal? To be so kind and unexpectedly sexy that Ed falls at his feet to renounce Satan in Father Bonnet’s name and dedicate himself to a life serving God?

 

Ed let out a groan and scrubbed his hands over his face. That sounded fucking psychotic, even to him.

 

“Ed? You okay?”

 

Damn this man for being so attentive. “Yep, perfectly fine!” Ed responded, voice at least two octaves higher than normal. He cleared his throat. “Coming!”

 

He opened his door and almost ran directly into the man, having to stop short and catch himself. Father Bonnet’s gaze gave him a once over and Ed could have sworn the man blushed, but he turned too quickly to be sure. 

 

“So, like I said yesterday,” Father Bonnet began as he led Ed out toward the barn. “Chickens are in the hen house on the far side, and then there are three sheep and three goats.”

 

As they approached the barn, Ed could hear the chickens from the hen house. He also realized the barn sat further from the treeline than it had looked from the house and that there was a rather large grassy area in between the barn and the trees with a white fence around it. He could see the sheep grazing in the area. 

 

“Do they stay outside all the time?” He asked.

 

“They pretty much have free reign and can go in and out as they please. I do close them in at night but that’s about it and really only for their own safety.” 

When the two men reached the white fence, Father Bonnet leaned against it, supporting himself on his forearms and gazing out at the sheep. 

 

“The male is Max, and the larger female is Maisie. The smaller one is Margeaux.” Father Bonnet had a small smile on his face as he watched the sheep. He looked peaceful.

 

After a few more moments, he led Ed toward the barn. Inside were three goats: one grey, one white, and one black. 

 

“Ivan, Fang, and Izzy.” He pointed at each in turn. “They were already named when I got them, so don’t ask because I don’t have an explanation. They’re feisty little beasts, but Izzy especially. He’ll headbutt you whenever he gets the chance, so watch your back.” Father Bonnet chuckled before turning and pointing to the far side of the barn. “Feed is over there. They do a lot of grazing out in the pasture, but they get fed once in the morning and once in the evening to make sure they’re getting all the real nutrients they need.”

 

Ed nodded. “Makes sense, I guess.”

 

“Feeding them and locking up at night will also be something I have you do after you’re back to a hundred percent.” 

 

Father Bonnet led Ed back out of the barn and walked around so he could see the henhouse, where he explained how Ed was to go about that task every morning as well. While he was talking, Ed found his eyes drawn past the henhouse.

 

“Mate, are those…beehives?” He asked in shock.

 

With a disarming giggle, Father Bonnet nodded. “My newest project! I’ve had them for about a month now. Obviously they won’t fall under your jurisdiction but if you’re at all interested…”

 

Ed gaped at the man. “What kind of priest keeps bees?”

 

“I think you’ll find that I make a sincere effort to not be the kind of priest you’re insistent upon me being, Ed,” Father Bonnet sniffed. “I made it a mission of mine to always be better than others’ expectations of me.”

 

“Er…right.” Ed scratched the back of his neck. “So…is this everything? That you’ll have me doing?”

 

“For the most part, yes,” Father Bonnet nodded. “I’ll have you in the garden too, but first and foremost we need to focus on you getting better and not over-exerting yourself. I’d like to alternate cooking as well, let you and I swap out who cooks every other night. That, you could start tonight if you’re feeling up for it.”

 

Ed considered. “I think I’m up for it,” he acquiesced.

*******

Somehow, Ed was determined to stop being shocked every time he learned something new about Father Bonnet. This being stated, the discovery of the half-empty handle of Tito’s vodka in the cupboard was a decidedly shocking occurrence.

 

“I don’t understand why you’re so surprised when you're the one who just asked if I had any vodka,” Father Bonnet hummed. “Which implies that you thought there was the chance that I did!”

 

“I guess!” Ed huffed. “Or I was just being polite!” He eyed the vodka carefully as he added it to the pasta sauce, not wanting to overdo it and accidentally ruin the sauce—at least not while Father Bonnet was there to witness it. 

 

Ed had decided to make pasta with vodka sauce and vegetables for dinner: an easy enough dish with very little manual labor, except that Father Bonnet had suggested they make the pasta themselves. Thankfully, he had taken over that responsibility, chattering on about how he had loved to make pasta as a kid but that his father had told him it was unseemly for a gentleman.

 

After the dinner had been plated and the two men sat together on the porch again, Ed steeled himself and decided to ask Father Bonnet questions about his stay with him. 

 

“So, do you do this a lot?” He asked, chasing a crown of broccoli around his plate.

 

“This?”

 

“The uh, fixing immoral men thing.”

 

“Ah,” Father Bonnet hesitated. “I wouldn’t say that, no. Generally, I handle teenagers. On occasion, children.”

 

“What?” Ed gaped at the man.

 

With a soft sigh, Father Bonnet set down his fork. “I’m a…safe house, of sorts. If a child is sent away to some sort of conversion therapy but can be intercepted and safely removed from the scenario by social workers or child services, I can receive them. In order to help keep those children safe, I am listed as someone who can offer conversion therapy.”

 

“So you aren’t a priest.”

 

“Well, no, I am,” Father Bonnet looked up at Ed. “Just no a no-longer-recognized-by-the-traditional-Catholic-church type of priest. It's…complicated.”

 

“That’s one word for it,” Ed scoffs. For a minute the men sit in silence. “So, what do you teach kids to convert them? Or, not convert them, I guess?”

 

“The three virtues I follow in my priesthood: selflessness, discipline, and devotion.”

 

Ed furrowed his brow and nodded slowly. “Alright, elaborate.”

 

Father Bonnet thought for a moment. “Kids who come to me have usually suffered extensively at the hands of their families. With these circumstances come negative impacts on the wellbeing of these kids, impacts that are difficult to overcome. I try to help reshape the ways kids see the world by helping them rebuild their definitions of discipline and devotion. Most kids who have to fight to survive every day at home have to develop selfish habits in order to protect themselves—I know I did, as a child. It’s difficult to be able to overcome habits you form in an unsafe environment. I try to offer guidance so they have a starting point for healing that they can form in a safe environment where they feel secure.”

 

When he finished talking, he took a deep breath. “Children have the resiliency to heal and teenagers have the guts to do it. I’m in awe of every one I’ve met.”

 

“So you’re a counselor, basically,” Ed stated.

 

“I guess so,” Father Bonnet sighs. 

 

Ed nodded and the two men continued on to eat in silence. 

 

After dinner, Ed found himself washing dishes again while Father Bonnet put away the leftover pasta. On more than one occasion he realized he was staring at the man as he puttered around the kitchen. When he joined Ed at the sink to dry the dishes, he reached around Ed for the dish towel and the smell of him washed over Ed. He smelled distinctly of lavender and vanilla, with something specifically masculine underlying. 

 

Two weeks prior, Ed would have described this scene as his own perfect domestic fantasy. Sharing dish duty with a beautiful man his own age after eating a meal, standing close enough at the sink to hear one another’s breathing. It was the kind of life Ed would never have. Thinking about it made his chest ache and he doubled over the sink, gasping. 

 

“Ed?” He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, radiating heat throughout his entire body. “Hey, are you alright?”

Ed shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. His body chose to remind him of all his other aches and pains simultaneously and Ed felt his knees buckling. Father Bonnet situated himself under Ed’s arm, a warm, solid weight.

 

“Hey now,” he spoke softly, soothing Ed. “Breathe for me, it’s alright. Let’s move over to the couch, okay? C’mon.” 

 

Father Bonnet led them both to the overstuffed couch in the living room, sitting Ed on the edge and rubbing his back in firm, soothing circles. He took very loud, deliberate deep breaths, encouraging Ed to mirror him. Ed did his best to follow Father Bonnet’s lead, taking long, deep breaths at the same pace he was. After a while, his muscles relaxed and he could guide his own breathing again.

 

“Back with me?” Father Bonnet asked quietly, still rubbing his hand over Ed’s back. Ed nodded silently, pressing against the touch. “Alright. You hold on, stay here until you’re a hundred percent again, okay? I’m going to go finish the dishes.”

 

He made to move, but Ed shot his hand out and attached a hand to Father Bonnet’s wrist in a vice grip. 

 

“Stay,” he rasped.

 

Father Bonnet looked at him for a long moment, and Ed began to release his grip, face flushing. What was he thinking? Before he could pull himself away and close off entirely, Father Bonnet resettled on the couch and pulled Ed into his arms.

 

“Is this okay?”

 

Ed nodded against his chest, suddenly speechless again, but a different reason entirely. He closed his eyes, breathing in lavender and vanilla and losing himself to the rhythm of Father Bonnet’s hand running gently up and down his back.

*******

Once in bed that night, Ed saw Father Bonnet every time he closed his eyes. Shirtless, with a gentle smile, the Father Bonnet in his mind pulled him into his chest and held him there tightly, running his hand from Ed’s chest down his stomach, lower and lower.

 

Ed shot to a sitting position, breathing heavily. Moonlight streamed through the curtains, casting the entire room into a ghostly glow, lilac walls turning silver. He couldn’t hear movement anywhere else in the house, and knew that Father Bonnet must be tucked away in bed. He wondered how the man slept; whether he wore just boxers, or slept in the nude, or perhaps in a nightie. He imagines Father Bonnet would look lovely in a silk and lace nightie.

 

He laid back against his pillows with a sigh, picturing an adorned-in-lace Father Bonnet above him, forearms braced on either side of his head, holding himself up to gaze at Ed, unashamed of the hunger in his eyes. Perhaps he would keep his eyes trained on Ed’s face to watch his reactions as he dropped his hips to grind their cocks together ever so slowly, only the nightie in between them. Ed wouldn’t be allowed to touch, but would try anyway. Father Bonnet would tsk at him and move his arms to pin his wrists out above him. What was it he had said he taught the kids who came to stay with him? Discipline . 

 

Ed ran a hand along the inside of his own thigh, ghosting around his erection and refusing to touch it except for the barest brush of skin. Patience , Father Bonnet would tell him, before biting at his earlobe and leaving a bruise on the soft skin behind it. He let out a soft whimper, trailing a teasing touch up his own shaft over the sheet. His hips thrust up into the air seeking friction. 

 

“ Please! ” He whimpered in a broken whisper, pleading with the image of the man in his mind, who only laughed teasingly at him. Beg for me , he would say; say ‘please.’  

 

Ed was panting, his heartbeat echoing loudly in his ears. He fucked his hips into empty air again, the very tips of his fingers skimming the base of his erection. He knew he would blow as soon as he got a hand around himself. 

 

There were so many ways he would allow Father Bonnet to use him; to ruin him how he pleased. Ed was hardly dominant in any sexual setting and he knew that Father Bonnet would only bring forth his submission, with his talk of devotion and discipline. Ed whined low in his throat. If Father Bonnet wanted him to prove his devotion, he could do so on his knees. He could beg. Father Bonnet could have him on his knees, mouth slack and wrists bound behind himself, using his mouth as he pleased. 

 

Ed gave in and wrapped a fist around his cock, all finesse forgotten as he thrust up fast and hard, chasing the heat curled in his gut. Within six strokes, he was releasing over his own fist, coating his fingers and stomach. 

 

Cringing, Ed reached for a tissue from his bedside table, wincing at the tug on his ribs. He wiped himself off perfunctorily, pointedly not allowing himself to think about how he just got off to his godly housemate. He groaned softly, burying his face in his pillow. Why did he not feel as wracked with guilt as he should?

 

“Fuck,” he muttered. “I’m so fuckin’ going to hell.”

*******

Father Bonnet greeted Ed the next morning with another full breakfast and healthy dose of acetaminophen. Ed settled himself down at the table and helped himself to a slice of toast, enjoying the sight of sleep-mussed Father Bonnet keeping an attentive eye on the sausage patties frying on the stove. The man was humming under his breath and Ed hid a smile in his teacup.

 

“So,” the man began, barely turning to face Ed. “I was thinking we could go into town today and we can pick you up some clothes? We can grab lunch while we’re out, and I can prove to you that you aren’t stranded somewhere a hundred miles from civilization.” He shot a grin Ed’s way. 

 

“That sounds good. I’ll be glad to be in clothes that aren’t you, as comfortable as these are.”

 

Father Bonnet snorted. “Comfort and functionality are my priorities in most aspects of my life.” He brought the sausage to the table and sat down directly across from Ed, offering him another warm grin, “Dig in!”

 

Once the dishes had been done, Ed was led to the garage on the far side of the house, where an ancient red truck was parked. The passenger door let out an ear-splitting groan as it swung open and Ed climbed in, fastening his seatbelt. The truck smelled faintly like Father Bonnet’s usual vanilla and lavender, coupled with the scent of the well-worn cloth seats. 

 

Faint Christian country music played through the speakers as Father Bonnet started down the long driveway, and Ed realized he was familiar with the song playing as he gazed out at the trees rushing past.

 

The forest that surrounded Father Bonnet’s land was thick and lush, rays of sun peeking through in some spots. They bumped along the driveway until they turned onto the main road, though they remained the only car on the road for a few miles. 

 

“How far is the town?” Ed asked, after they finally saw another car.

 

“About twelve miles, nothing too bad,” Father Bonnet responded. “Far enough that no one questions why sometimes cars show up and drop children off at my doorstep in the middle of the night. I would imagine that would turn some heads, considering I live alone in the middle of the woods.”

 

Ed snorted. “Yeah, mate, I’d imagine.”

 

Although they rode mostly in silence, Ed found that he no longer felt that it was uncomfortable silence. It was a pleasant silence, one that exists in the space between friends. Father Bonnet was an easy man to exist around and the longer he spent in his presence, the less wary Ed felt that the other shoe was going to drop any day now. 

 

He turned to watch Father Bonnet drive. He had one hand on the steering wheel and his right hand tapped along on his thigh to the music playing over the radio. The sun filtered in, shining through his hair almost in a halo, the golden curls glowing. He seemed at ease in the late morning light, comfortable in the driver’s seat of the truck. As they started driving through town, a small smile graced his face and he seemed to relax even further, waving at other drivers as they passed.

 

Pulling into a spot outside a Goodwill, Father Bonnet turned to Ed with a gentle smile. 

 

“So, I’m thinking at least three pairs of jeans, a few t-shirts, and some flannels. And then if you want pajamas, grab a couple pairs of pants and such too. If you want some other kinds of pants you’re welcome to grab some of those too.”

 

He and Ed exited the truck. Father Bonnet greeted the cashier with an enthusiastic wave before directing them toward the men’s section.

 

“Do you bring all your live-in guests clothing shopping?” Ed asked, sorting through the jeans.

 

Father Bonnet hummed. “Not usually. For the most part, they bring their own clothes because they come to me after they’ve been sent away to a camp, so they generally have all the things they need.”

 

“Ah,” Ed shafted awkwardly, bringing his hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. “I’m, er, sorry about that.”

 

“What?” Father Bonnet stopped looking at shirts and turned to face Ed over the rack between them. “Ed, you have nothing to apologize for. Absolutely nothing. The circumstances that brought you to me weren’t your fault.” He held Ed’s gaze. “You…do know that?”

 

Ed sighed. “I guess, but they’re a little bit my fault, aren’t they? If I’d been smarter about what I was doing or just didn’t—”

 

“Didn’t what, exactly?” Father Bonnet’s eyes narrowed and Ed got the distinct feeling he was about to feel ashamed of his own excuses. “If you’d just continued to hide who you were? Suppressed your own sexuality? Not let yourself be happy? That’s not the answer , Ed, that’s a really sad way to live.”

 

“Jesus, mate, I don’t think you’re supposed to be encouraging me here,” Ed scoffed.

 

Father Bonnet exhaled sharply through his nose and rolled his eyes, thrusting three shirts at Ed. “Whatever. Take a look at these.”

 

When the pair were finally satisfied with their shopping trip, Ed walked out with four pairs of jeans, two pairs of sweatpants, two pairs of plaid lounge pants, five t-shirts, five flannel shirts, a cable-knit cardigan, and two pairs of shoes: work boots and sneakers. 

 

“I’ll pay you back eventually, Father, I promise,” Ed said, piling the bags into the backseat of the truck. Father Bonnet gave him a long look, and Ed realized it was probably the first time he had addressed him out loud. 

 

“Don’t be silly,” he finally replied as they both settled back in the front seat. “I’m not worried about the money.”

 

Father Bonnet pulled out of the lot, then proceeded to show Ed around the tiny town. He pointed out the bowling alley and post office, and the entrance to a large park. Ed was amazed by the amount of life in the tiny town, and even more amazed by the sheer number of people Father Bonnet seemed to know. They could hardly go two hundred feet without him smiling and waving, or calling a hello through the open window. 

 

He finally pulled the truck into a parking spot on the bustling main road. Vendors were set up on both sides of the street and the air smelled like baked goods and fresh air.

 

“What’s going on?” Ed asked, looking around. 

 

“Farmers Market is here every Wednesday,” Father Bonnet replied with a smile. “I like to come in and walk around, visit with the locals. It’s a great place to grocery shop, as well.”

 

“Oh, that’s co—” Ed was cut off by a tiny old woman shrieking and knocking him out of the way.

 

“Father Bonnet! Where have you been?” She questioned loudly, throwing her arms up. “It’s been weeks! You are the only one I want to buy honey from and you’ve been disappeared like you were kidnapped!”

 

Father Bonnet chuckled. “I think I’m too old for it to be considered kidnapping, Lucy.” 

 

She scoffed. “Nonsense, it’s still kidnapping.” She turned to Ed, who took a few stumbling steps backward at the intensity of her gaze. “And who are you?”

 

“This is my friend Ed, Lucy. He’s staying with me for a bit.”

 

She looked Ed up and down, lips pursed, before nodding. “He’s a looker. Too pretty for you though, Father.”

 

Ed gaped at Father Bonnet, who flushed. 

 

“Lucy!” He scolded. 

 

The woman scoffed again, before linking her arm with Ed’s. “Are you coming to the cafe for lunch? All this business shuts down here in twenty minutes and it’s tradition for Father Bonnet to come eat at the cafe after.”

 

“Er,” Ed glanced at Father Bonnet. “I guess so? We’re certainly getting lunch somewhere.”

 

“Delightful!” She crowed. “Let’s make our way, shall we?” 

 

With her arm firmly around Ed’s, Lucy guided them down the street. She kept up a constant stream of chatter the whole way there, and by the time they arrived, Ed felt as if he’d known the woman his entire life. She sat them in a cushioned booth right inside the cafe, and was halfway through the specials when another woman appeared from the kitchen and handed both men waters.

 

“Ed,” Lucy said. “This is Petal.” 

 

The other woman nodded at him with a furrowed brow before giving Lucy a soft kiss and disappearing again. After informing the men that she’d bring them their regulars—whatever the fuck that meant—Lucy disappeared to the kitchen as well, leaving a noticeable silence in her wake.

 

“Petal and Lucy have been married since before I even moved here,” Father Bonnet told Ed. “They’re essentially the backbone of the town. Wonderful ladies.”

 

Ed stared at him, then looked back toward the kitchen. “They’re married,” he stated. Father Bonnet nodded. “Okay, but you’re a priest.”

 

“Right.”

 

“And you’re…fine with that?” He looked back at Father Bonnet.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be? Their marriage has nothing to do with me.”

 

“Oh, right.” Ed shook his head as Lucy reappeared, holding two plates piled high with diner food. “Thanks, Lucy.”

 

“No problem, sugar,” she said with a grin. “Now, you boys take your time eating, and have a great day, alright? And Ed,” she leaned down to him conspiratorially. “You be gentle with the good Father, he’s a delicate man.” She winked.

 

“Lucy!” Father Bonnet choked on the marmalade-coated bite of toast he’d taken. “Please!”

 

She rolled her eyes as she walked away.

 

As the two men pulled up the driveway to the house again, Ed turned back to Father Bonnet. 

 

“So what was Lucy getting at?”

 

Father Bonnet sighed. “She worries about me living out here by myself.”

 

“Why?”

 

Father Bonnet fidgeted, pulling into the garage and sliding the truck into park. “Lucy knew my father.”

 

“Your…homophobic father.”

 

“Yes. And she likes to look out for me,” he murmured. “She’s a good woman.”

 

“Okay.” Ed waited to see if Father Bonnet would say anything else, but the man just stared off through the windshield. “Well, thank you for lunch.”

 

Father Bonnet shook himself and turned to Ed, offering a small, almost sad smile. “Anytime, Ed.” He hesitated, then rested his hand on Ed’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for your circumstances, but I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Offering a smile back, Ed touched his fingers to the back of Father Bonnet’s hand. “Me too,” he replied softly.

*******

“I want you to treat me.”

 

“What?” Father Bonnet looked up at Ed from where he was kneeling in the garden, eyebrows raised.

 

“I want you to treat me. I’m just as fucked up as all the kids you get, so I want you to work your therapy magic on me and give me all the special values you talked about,” Ed said, squaring his shoulders. “I can be good.”

 

Father Bonnet froze, and looked Ed up and down appraisingly. Ed shifted, trying to look appealing. He wanted Father Bonnet to engage with him, desperately. He had been with the man a little over two weeks and he was more and more drawn to the man the longer he spent with him. Every little thing the man did was pulling Ed in, sparking some sort of infatuation. He wanted the man’s attention and damn it, this was how he was going to do it.

 

“Okay,” Father Bonnet said, turning back to look at what he was doing with the plants.

 

“Okay?” Ed repeated, gaping. “Just…okay?”

 

He tsked . “I thought you were going to be good.”

 

“I— what? I am! I am good.”

 

He looked back up at Ed, quirking a single eyebrow. “Good boys have discipline, Ed.”

 

Ed opened and closed his mouth, dumbfounded, staring at Father Bonnet. He willed away the growing erection in his jeans. Finally, he closed his mouth and nodded, looking at his feet.

 

“Good boy,” Father Bonnet said softly. Ed swallowed hard. “Did you finish working with the animals this morning?’

 

“Er, not quite.”

 

He nodded, going back to his gardening. “Finish with the animals then go ahead and shower and put on clean clothes, then can you make lunch for us?”

 

“Uh, yeah, I can do that.” Ed gave a short, jerky nod. “Anything else?”

 

“No, that’s good,” Father Bonnet glanced up and smiled gently. “Come get me when lunch is ready, yeah?”

 

Ed nodded again. “Okay.”

 

He took off for the barn, mind reeling. Whatever he’d expected, the conversation was not it. Maybe some sort of an easy let down, a reason for why he didn’t want to give Ed the treatment he gave the kids who came to him—and there were countless reasons, not the least of which being that Ed has fifteen years on those kids. He was past the point of rescue. Though unexpected, Ed wasn’t displeased with how the conversation turned out. 

 

Standing in the barn, he took a deep breath. He could be good. He would be good. Whatever Father Bonnet needed from him, he could do. Damn it, he was going to please that man if it killed him.

Notes:

as always, come find me on twitter (@pluviophiliced) or tumblr (@pluviophilicas)

the next chapter starts the explicit themes and smut, so be prepared :)

Chapter 3: Trust

Summary:

our favorite boys do some talking. and then some...not talking ;)

Notes:

cw for smut ahead!! and the usual general presence/implied presence of homophobia

“Discipline is crucial in all facets of life, Ed,” Father Bonnet said after he roused Ed from sleep at six in the morning. “That includes in your daily life. It takes discipline to stay on top of housework and chores—especially housework and chores you don’t want to do.”

 

Ed rolled his eyes behind the man’s back, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was six in the fucking morning and he was being dragged out of the house because apparently, ungodly hours in the morning are the best times to meet cows named stupid things like Tipsy as they return to the farm from the vet. 

 

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” Father Bonnet said over his shoulder without turning around. “You wanted to be taught, don’t be disobedient.” 

 

All of Ed’s neurons stopped firing at once.”Er, sorry,” he muttered.

 

Father Bonnet nodded but didn’t respond. Ed wasn’t sure why that stung as much as it did.

 

When they reached the barn, Father Bonnet held the door open and waved Ed in. He blinked furiously, getting his eyes adjusted to the light. When he finally adjusted, his eyes made out a fucking enormous cow.

 

“Jesus, she’s fuckin’ huge!”

 

Father Bonnet chuckled lowly behind him. “She’s average at best. Small by some standards.” He stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on the side of her face. “Hello Tipsy love, were the doctors kind to you?” He cooed.

 

The cow let out a soft moo .

 

Father Bonnet turned to look back at Ed. “Come on over,” he commanded softly, gesturing with his head. Ed stepped up to stand next to him, reaching out to stroke over the opposite side of Tipsy’s face. “It’s important that you always say good morning to her before you feed or milk her—as a sign of respect. She’s her own cognisant being and deserves to be treated as such.”

 

Ed nodded. Tipsy’s hide was soft under his fingertips and her brown eyes were massive, doe-y and innocent. She appeared to be sizing him up, intelligence blatant behind her eyes. She was gentle despite her size and seemed to nuzzle into Ed’s touch. 

 

“Now that you’ve met, you may go ahead and feed and milk her before you get to the rest of the animals,” Father Bonnet said from behind Ed. “I’ll make breakfast this morning after I check on the garden. Sound good?”

 

Ed nodded again, still stinging from Father Bonnet’s disobedience comment earlier. 

 

“Ed. Does that sound good?” Father Bonnet repeated.

 

“Yes, Father, that sounds fine,” Ed responded brusquely. 

 

He felt Father Bonnet linger for a moment before the man turned to leave and Ed was left alone with Tipsy. He crossed the barn to the feed and filled Tipsy’s trough before fetching the stool and a bucket.

 

He spoke to her quietly as he worked. “I wasn’t being fuckin’ disobedient , Tipsy. I don’t even know how he fuckin’ knew I rolled my eyes at him. I mean I did, but he wasn’t even looking at me, fuck . M’not fuckin’ disobedient.”

 

Ed grumbled to himself for the rest of the duration of his morning chores. He told the sheep and the goats of his frustrations, and explained to the chickens that it wasn’t fair of Father Bonnet to treat him like a child—even though he had technically asked for it. 

 

What bothered Ed the most was the fact that he wasn’t being disobedient—he was just tired. He and Father Bonnet had different ideas of what was a proper time to be awake, clearly, but he had explicitly done everything that had been asked of him. He had woken up when he was told to and followed Father Bonnet out to the barn, and then he had been patient while he was introduced to Tipsy and he refused to be treated like he had done something wrong.

 

He felt like a petulant child and realizing that only pissed him off further. 

 

By the time Ed was storming into the house with the basket of eggs in one hand, his nerves felt raw and he knew he was moments from an explosion. Coming in to see Father Bonnet humming at the stove was the last straw.

 

“I wasn’t being fucking disobedient,” he hissed. Father Bonnet spun around, eyebrows raised. “I was tired and I think it’s stupid that you made me get up that early but I wasn’t being fucking disobedient to you and I think it’s unfair for you to treat me like I’m a child.”

 

Father Bonnet turned off the stove and looked at Ed, contemplating. He walked over until he was directly in front of him and reached out toward him.

 

“May I touch you, Ed?”

 

“Fuckin’ why?” Ed hissed, tensing.

 

“I would like to offer you comfort and I think doing so tactilely will be of most help,” he explained, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”

 

Ed cleared his throat. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine.”

 

Moving slowly and deliberately, Father Bonnet put his hand on Ed’s shoulders and pulled him into his chest, wrapping both arms around him and placing one hand firmly on the back of Ed’s head. With his other hand, he rubbed soothing  circles into Ed’s back.

 

“Can you match your breathing to mine, Ed?” He asked, his chest rumbling against Ed’s own.

 

Ed concentrated on breathing in when Father Bonnet did and deliberately exhaling at the same time. After a few moments, he felt his shoulders loosen and the tight feeling in his chest dissipated somewhat. He took a shaky breath.

 

“I’m very sorry, Ed, I’ve done you a disservice,” he said, pulling back and looking Ed earnestly in the face. “I should have been paying closer attention to you this morning. You’re right, you weren’t being disobedient. You were being very good for me by following my directions this morning and completing all the tasks I set out for you. Thank you for doing all that for me. And thank you for telling me that you are frustrated with me. Communication is incredibly important in a relationship and I’m grateful that you feel comfortable enough to express your discontent with me.”

 

Ed was, to say the least, dumbfounded. He gaped at Father Bonnet, who tugged him back in and gave him another firm hug, before releasing him and pulling the pan off the stove, heading toward the table.

 

Still processing, Ed followed Father Bonnet to the table, sitting down as the man scooped some of the breakfast scramble onto his plate. The two proceeded to eat in silence, Ed mulling over everything Father Bonnet had said to him. People didn’t generally apologize to Ed. His own feelings got him in trouble and that was that—other people weren’t responsible for his hurt feelings. To have Father Bonnet not only offer him a heartfelt apology but offer physical comfort as well was…unprecedented. 

 

Ed sized the man up over the breakfast table. He was still a remarkably beautiful man—with his back to the kitchen window, his golden curls were lit up by the early morning sun, ringed around his head like a halo. He had an elegant air about him as he ate, scanning over the morning paper as if he was a middle aged man. Though, Ed acknowledged, they both were closer to middle aged now than they used to be. A queer man in his early thirties made Ed one of the elder generation of the community. 

 

He trailed his eyes down Father Bonnet, taking in the wide necked linen blouse showing off his collarbones and the soft blonde curls of chest hair. If he were a different man, Ed would call him a tease. 

 

As this thought crossed his mind, Father Bonnet glanced up, catching Ed’s eye and quirking a brow. Ed flushed and looked back to his plate, pushing his food around. In his peripheral, he watched as Father Bonnet set down his fork and steepled his fingers, sizing Ed up. 

 

“I think we should talk,” he finally said. 

 

Ed sighed. “Alright.”

 

“Can you handle the dishes and putting the food away? And then I’d like you to meet me in the chapel.”

 

“Er—” Ed looked up at Father Bonnet, who was looking at him intently. “Yeah. I can do that.”

 

The priest offered him a gentle smile before getting up and heading out of the house, crossing the yard. Staying seated for a few more moments, Ed took a deep breath. He stood slowly, collecting the dishes and moving them to the sink before moving the food into tupperware and setting them in the fridge. As he started washing dishes, Ed let his mind wander, considering what Father Bonnet might want to talk to him about. He hoped he wasn’t in trouble—though Father Bonnet hadn’t seemed upset when he left. His apology had seemed sincere as well. 

 

Some deep part of Ed’s mind whispered that Father Bonnet only wanted to bend him over the altar and punish him for being disobedient. Ed shook that part away.

 

When he finished the dishes and laid them out in the drying rack, he dried his hands on his jeans and squared his shoulders, heading for the back door. He walked to the chapel like a man marching to the firing squad, his shoulders sinking lower with every step. In his thirty-one years of life, no one had ever affected Ed the way Father Bonnet did. 

 

Reaching the chapel, Ed took another deep breath before stepping inside. Immediately inside, the air was cool, sending goosebumps erupting over Ed’s skin. Father Bonnet was on the steps to the altar, on his knees, head bowed. Ed felt like he was intruding on a private moment, observing the priest in prayer. 

 

Ed stood awkwardly in the back of the chapel, waiting for Father Bonnet to be done with his prayer. After a few moments, Father Bonnet spoke:

 

“Ed, you may come to the altar. I heard you come in.”

 

Ed startled. He thought he had been quiet entering the chapel, being sure to close the door softly behind him. He attributed it to some sort of holy awareness. He walked slowly up the center aisle, standing behind Father Bonnet at the altar.

 

“You can kneel next to me, Ed.”

 

He did. He knelt close enough to Father Bonnet that their shoulders brushed, and he focused on his breathing. Opening his eyes, Ed met the gaze of the figure on the crucifix behind the altar table. Jesus looked back at him and Ed’s chest felt tight once more. This time, the tightness was a different kind and Ed couldn’t place a name on it. Though he knew the figure was lifeless, he felt pinned under its gaze. He felt laid bare.

 

“I want to be able to help you heal, Ed,” came Father Bonnet’s voice. “I want to help you rebuild from the trauma your father caused and I want to help you understand that perhaps everything you’ve been led to believe about the world may not necessarily be true.”

 

“How might you do that?” Asked Ed.

 

Father Bonnet remained quiet for a moment. “If you’re amenable, I want to explore a relationship with you that explores your abilities to submit. I think that you have spent your life building a person; one that protects you from people like your father, but also allows you to have flexibility in your nightlife…or relationships, as well as maintaining an open, welcoming presence for the children you work with. I think that you have been misled in the belief that you cannot be all of these things at once and I would like to help you explore the roots of that belief and perhaps help you redirect.”

 

Ed was speechless. His mind moved a mile a minute—of course, he was programmed to protect himself from his father, considering he grew up with the man. Sexual relatioships, however, never belonged in the same persona one presents to their parents. Ed considered his nightlife, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t his nightlife that was important. Ed sought the connection that nightlife substituted. Ed came to the realization that he was willing to give up his nightlife even in his normal life if only he had someone to share his nights with.

 

In a brief moment as he considered, Ed pictured what life might look like if he were sharing it with Father Bonnet—or if he were allowed to call him Stede. He considered the man’s gentle demeanor and support. 

 

“Okay,” he said slowly. “What will that look like?”

 

Father Bonnet hummed. “I will ask you to be obedient for me. You will continue to have the same chores and tasks, but I will also ask you to help me out with other areas and offer your assistance with my religious studies. I will hold you to a specific standard and ask that you maintain open communication and trust with me. We will debrief each night and touch base to see where you’re at and whether or not anything about our dynamic needs adjusting.”

 

Ed snorted. “Sounds like a dominant-submissive relationship, mate.”

 

There was no response. Ed whipped his head to face Father Bonnet, finding him already looking back, his brow furrowed slightly. His mouth fell open, staring at the priest.

 

“I suppose it does,” Father Bonnet said, tilting his head. “Are you amenable?”

 

Ed swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably in his quickly-tightening jeans. Father Bonnet’s eyes flicked to Ed’s crotch before finding Ed’s gaze again, a new glint behind them. Ed nodded.

 

“Words, Edward.”

 

“Yes, Father, I’m…I’m amenable,” Ed replied, clasping his hands in front of him.

*******

Ed was tasked with making dinner that night, though his mind did not stop running at full speed. The priest had disappeared into his study after they had returned from the chapel and hadn’t emerged since. Ed was antsy. He felt anxiety buzzing in his chest, and something else—maybe excitement—crawling its way up from somewhere in his gut.

 

He decided on chicken and rice casserole. It had been a comfort food of his growing up, and he could make the entire dish with his eyes closed if he had to, so it only made sense to be the dinner plan while he wasn’t able to dedicate his full attention to cooking. 

 

Just as Ed was pulling the casserole dish from the oven, Father Bonnet walked into the kitchen.

 

“Oh, that smells exquisite , Ed!” The man said, taking a deep inhale. “You should be in the kitchen more often.”

 

“Happy to do that if you want,” Ed replied, carrying the dish to the table as Father Bonnet set out plates and silverware. “I love to cook, makes me happy.”

 

“We should all do more things that make us happy,” Father Bonnet said with a smile. 

 

The two men settled into their seats and Father Bonnet poured them both water from the pitcher already on the table. Dinner was a quiet affair, filled with the occasional small talk as Father Bonnet asked Ed about the animals and the weather. Eventually, as they finished eating and set about cleaning up the kitchen, Ed felt Father Bonnet’s eyes on him. His skin grew hot under the man’s gaze and he finally turned to face him after he turned the sink faucet off.

 

“Would you accompany me to my study?” Father Bonnet asked, still with a kind smile on his face.

 

Ed nodded, and followed the priest down the hall. It was Ed’s first time being physically in the room, and he made a soft noise of appreciation as he walked in. The room was lined with Father Bonnet’s books on shelves built into the walls, with the wall opposite the door taken half up by a window looking out at the chapel and barn. A soft carpet covered the majority of the hardwood floor, cushioning the sound of both men’s steps after they stepped into the room. Father Bonnet’s heavy walnut desk sat in front of the window, facing the doorway, covered in scattered papers and a laptop. 

 

The priest gestured to a lush armchair, and Ed sat, facing Father Bonnet as he took his place behind the desk. He steepled his fingers on the desk, looking over them at Ed. Ed fidgeted under the weighted gaze. 

 

“I want to be clear before we endeavor in our…relationship,” Father Bonnet began hesitantly. “That you will hold the power at all times. If you become uncomfortable, if you don’t like what we’re doing, or if you just decide you would no longer like to proceed, we stop immediately. Regardless of what we’ve accomplished or may be working toward, at no point will I be angry or disappointed with you wanting to stop.”

 

Ed started to nod, but remembering Father Bonnet’s request for vocal responses earlier, cleared his throat instead. “Okay. Noted.”

 

“I’ve drawn up an outline with a list of conditions for you to look over on your own later tonight, and I’d like you to really consider every part of it. If you have questions you can always ask me before we make any decisions and I will be more than happy to sit and talk it over with you. I was very much telling you the truth when I told you that this is a safe place for you—I do not want you to feel uncomfortable at any point.” The man paused and seemed to consider something. “Growth is uncomfortable by design, but I trust you to be able to tell me when something is uncomfortable so that you feel you may not want to see it through. If you’re hesitant or unsure, I want you to talk to me the moment you realize you need to. I will never ask more than you can give, but it is always your decision whether or not you want or are able to do what I ask.”

 

“Starting to sound scary, mate,” Ed chuckled nervously.

 

Father Bonnet sighed. “I don’t mean for it to sound scary, but it is incredibly important to me that you are fully informed at all times. This…” he trails off, looking unsure for the first time Ed can really call to mine. “This isn’t how I normally attempt to help someone—well, I’ve never attempted to help someone this way.”

 

“You’ve never done this before?” Ed’s eyebrows shot up. Father Bonnet seemed more than comfortable with the conversation and extremely knowledgeable.

 

“I didn’t say that. Just that this isn’t how I help people.”

 

Ed furrowed his eyebrows. “So you have done this before?”

 

Father Bonnet nodded. “I’ve been in a dominant-submissive relationship before, yes. Multiple times.”

 

This confession was met with silence. Ed knew his mouth was sitting open as he gaped at the priest but he couldn’t seem to get around to shutting it. 

 

“Some fuckin’ priest you are, hey?”

 

Father Bonnet’s face tightened. “As we’ve discussed before, I am not a traditional priest. I would thank you to remember that. However, I do not take on disobedient or disrespectful men as my submissive.”

 

“Whoa, hold on—”

 

“That being said,” Father Bonnet spoke over Ed’s protests. “I would like to take you on. I think we can be of service to one another. You have a lot of healing to be done and I think having someone to be supportive and help you through it would be beneficial. But alongside that…” he trailed off once more, gazing intensely at Ed. “I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

 

Ed paled, mouth dropping open. Any previous idea of protesting disappeared as his mind went entirely blank. He gaped at Father Bonnet, once again rendered speechless. He knew he wasn’t particularly stealthy about his wandering eyes but he hadn’t realized that Father Bonnet had caught on. As the realization sunk in, Ed felt his cheeks flush and he averted his gaze, instead worrying a thread on the knee of his jeans. 

 

“Ed,” said Father Bonnet softly. Ed refused to make eye contact with him again, furrowing his brow and tugging at the thread. He heard the creaking of a chair and then there was a hand at his chin, tilting his face up. “It isn’t a bad thing. I’m rather flattered, in fact, and…it gave me the idea to offer this to you. So.”

 

“I—” Ed croaked, pausing to clear his throat. “I don’t…really know what to say, to be honest, Father.”

 

Father Bonnet winced. “That’s fine, take your time! But er—you can call me Stede, mate.”

 

“But isn’t Father your…title?”

 

“Well, yes, but…we can, er, listen,” Father Bonnet —Stede, sighed. “Take a look over the conditions I’ve put together for you and we can work out kinks when you’re ready.”

 

Ed raised his eyebrows and Stede blushed.

 

“Kinks like roadbumps! Hitches! Not, er…”

 

“But…those too, yeah?” The corner of Ed’s mouth twitched up in a smirk.

 

A small smile crossed Stede’s still pink face and he gave a small, gentle smile. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Those too.”

 

Ed took the paper from Stede’s hand and bade the man goodnight. Once shut back in his own room, he sat on the bed and looked over the paper in his hand. It was written up similarly to a contract, with various terms and conditions written out. Ed noted different sections of the paper, paying attention to the detail with which Stede had thought through each aspect he proposed. There were sections dedicated to guiding a conversation about boundaries, as well as wants and needs. He added a footnote to address names and titles. Ed already knew what he would want to refer to Stede as, in the midst of a scene. 

 

By the time he finished looking over every inch of the paper, Ed was half-hard and thoroughly exhausted. He already had an answer ready for Stede the moment he saw him in the morning. 

*******

Ed woke up the next morning significantly later than usual. He blinked his eyes open to the mid-morning sunlight streaming in through the window and jolted out of bed with a gasp. Grabbing his jeans from the floor, Ed stumbled into the hallway, only to run smack into Stede, spilling hot tea over his bare torso.

 

“Ow, fuck , that hurt!” Ed cried. “What the fuck, mate?”

 

Holding his now-soaked linen shirt away from his body, Stede winced at Ed. “Er, I was bringing you tea.”

 

Ed fishmouthed. “I—I overslept, didn’t do my chores.”

 

“I did them.”

 

“ Why?” Ed asked, bewildered. “I could have done them.”

 

Stede fidgeted, making Ed painfully aware of how the soaked cloth had become completely sheer against the man’s chest. “I figured you might have been up late. Reading.”

 

“ Readi—” The events of the night before came back to Ed all at once and all his breath left him in a huff. “Right. Yes, I was—I was reading.”

 

Stede raised an eyebrow. “And…I thought you might want to talk? About what you…read?” He frowned at the mostly empty mug in his hand. “Over fresh tea, maybe?”

 

“Yeah, that sounds…nice,” Ed mumbled, following Stede into the kitchen and taking his place at the table. 

 

“Do you have questions?” Stede asked over his shoulder as he went about making Ed’s tea.

 

“Um…a couple, I think,” replied Ed, accepting the mug and tracking Stede’ movements as the man settled into the seat across from him. “There’s a section about names. Titles and whatever.”

 

Stede nodded at Ed to continue.

 

“Do you…have a preference? Do you want to be called Father?”

 

Stede sputtered into his tea, descending into a coughing fit. Ed waited patiently, sipping at his own piping hot mug, made perfectly—a dollop of milk, seven sugars. 

 

“Er, only—only sometimes,” Stede finally rasped. “For specific…settings.”

 

“Okay, so what do you like?”

 

Stede shrugged. “I really want that to be your choice. If you come up with something that doesn’t work for me then we can work that out, but it’s more important that you feel comfortable with it.”

 

Ed hummed. “I’d like to call you master.”

 

This time, Stede really almost choked. Ed wasn’t expecting this conversation to be so flustering for the man who had suggested the relationship in the first place, but clearly he had overestimated him. Although, the fluster did line up well with Stede’s personality. 

 

Stede finally got himself together, setting down his teacup and nodding. “I’d like that,” he whispered. “It sounds…nice.”

 

“Suits you, I think,” Ed murmured. 

 

Stede looked up from where his fingers played with the base of his teacup and smiled at Ed, a soft, gentle expression. “What other questions?”

 

“Er, hard boundaries, I guess? What are yours?”

 

“Ah,” Stede sat up straighter. “I won’t be homophobic toward you. Degradation, I can do, but I won’t do slurs. And I would prefer you didn’t use any while we scene, either. I won’t draw blood. And, er,” he hesitated. “Well, I’d really prefer to stay away from other bodily secretions as well. Aside from the obvious.”

 

Ed nodded. “Yep, not going to ask for other bodily fluids. Mine or yours.”

 

“Thank God ,” Stede exhaled sharply. “That’s a relief.”

 

With a laugh, Ed considered. “Otherwise I don’t really…have any hard boundaries. I mean, I’d rather not be brutalized, but I can take a few hits.”

 

Stede nodded consideringly. “What about chastity?”

 

“What about it?” Ed raised his eyebrows. The point of this whole thing was…anti-chastity.

 

“Cock cages, specifically.”

 

With a cough, Ed explosively sent tea shooting out of his nose. Though not inexperienced with cock cages, it was an unexpected turn in the conversation.

 

“Yeah,” he whispered once he caught his breath. “Yeah, those are—those work. For me.”

 

Stede shot him a pleased smile. “Will you call me Stede when we aren’t sceneing?”

 

“Yes,” Ed laughed. “I will. Are you going to make me stay in the guest room?”

 

“Would you prefer to stay in mine?”

 

“Might be nice. For…aftercare purposes,” Ed murmured, fidgeting.

 

“Well, yes, I suppose it only makes logistical sense, hm?” Stede smiled again. “I’d love for you to stay in mine.”

 

Lifting his mug back to his mouth, Ed hid a small smile behind its rim. After a few moments smiling at one another in silence, Ed set his mug back down.

 

“Will our relationship change outside of scenes?” He finally asked.

 

“I imagine it will, yes,” Stede replied. “We’ll work outside of our scenes on helping you move past the traumas that have been inflicted in your life. And I hope we’ll be able to have some sort of relationship beyond that as well.”

 

“I like the sound of that.”

 

“I’m glad,” Stede replied, with a small smile. 

 

The two men proceeded to make breakfast, moving around one another with ease. Ed found himself feeling at home in the kitchen, listening to Stede hum along to the radio. There was no debate over who would set the table or who would do dishes after they ate, and every interaction between the two was easy.

 

Ed tried not to let himself focus too intensely on the lingering touches as Stede trailed his hand over Ed’s arm or placed a hand on his lower back as he moved past him. His body felt like a live wire, sparks dancing over his skin every time Stede brushed against him or stood closer than he might have previously. When Ed finally settled himself back at the table, he watched Stede continue to putter around while water for new tea came to a boil. The man’s shirt had mostly dried—a shame, really—and he had a small smile on his face every time he caught Ed’s gaze over his shoulder. It was surreal.

*******

Ed stood in the doorway to his room, surveying the lilac walls he’d grown used to. There wasn’t anything that truly belonged to him in the room but the anticipation of spending the night with Stede formed knots of anxiety deep in Ed’s stomach. He wasn’t sure what to expect—it was changing so fast. The entire situation had done a hundred and eighty degree turn onto its head. 

 

“Are you okay?” There was a gentle hand on his shoulder blades, rubbing a soft circle. “You can stay in this room if you want to, there’s no rush.”

 

Ed shook his head, turning to smile at Stede. “Just thinking about how much has changed since I got here.”

 

Stede smiled back. “I didn’t expect it to turn out like this when your father called. I thought you’d be here long enough for me to convince you not to go back to where he can reach you and we’d part friends, at best. Amicable acquaintances at worst.”

 

Ed laughed, turning to reach a hesitant hand to Stede’s waist. The man’s smile grew the tiniest bit and his eyes seemed to sparkle at Ed. Wrapping his arm more fully around his waist, Stede guided Ed down the hall toward his—or rather, their room. 

 

Looking around the room, Ed’s gaze fell to the bedside table closest to the window on the far side of the room, where Stede had already placed a glass of water and the book Ed had been keeping on the bedside table in his own room. They hesitated in the doorway and Stede leaned his head against Ed’s letting him take in the room. Earlier in the day they had moved Ed’s clothes into Stede’s room and his toiletries into Stede’s bathroom, but washed in the warm lamplight instead of the midafternoon sunshine, the room felt much more intimate. It felt like a home. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Ed turned to face Stede. Standing as close as they were in the doorway, he could feel each breath Stede took; the rise and fall of his chest brushing Ed’s own and the soft exhale dancing across his face. Up close, Ed could count the lines of the crows' feet adorning Stede’s eyes and he wanted to run his fingers across the man’s smile lines. Ed could drown in the warm liquid of Stede’s gaze and he had lifted his fingertips to trace the man’s jaw before he actively made the decision. Stede leaned his face into the touch, eyes becoming heavy-lidded. 

 

Before he could stop himself, Ed leaned forward and brushed his lips against Stede’s. Stede’s response was immediate, his hands coming up to frame Ed’s jaw, thumbs sweeping across his cheekbones. Ed’s entire body hummed, his blood singing in his veins. Kissing Stede was everything—slightly awkward, sure, as the man squished his nose against Ed’s—but Ed had never enjoyed kissing a person more in his entire life. He was surrounded by Stede’s vanilla and lavender smell and the warmth of his body radiating out. 

 

He pressed their mouths together again and again, feeling as Stede became more comfortable with the positioning and slid his hands into Ed’s hair, tangling them in the curls. Their bodies pressed flush together, Ed’s hands never pausing for more than a moment on any one place on Stede’s body, trailing them down the man’s torso and around his back. Stede’s hands remained on his cheeks, holding his face in place. Even when the two men finally needed to break apart to breathe, Stede refused to move his hands, resting his forehead against Ed’s. 

 

As they caught their breath, Stede continued to press short, chaste kisses to Ed’s mouth, hardly moving away even an inch. Ed blinked his eyes open, scanning Stede’s face for a moment before the other man chuckled.

 

“Stop staring at me,” he whispered.

 

“Never,” Ed breathed in reply. “I’m allowed to do this now. You can’t stop me.”

 

Multiple emotions crossed over Stede’s face as his eyes flicked over Ed’s, moving rapidly from his eyes to his lips and back. In a delightful show of strength, Stede shoved Ed backward against the wall and slammed their mouths back together, crowding against Ed. Lightning shot through Ed from everywhere their bodies made contact, setting his skin ablaze. A soft whining noise filled the air and it took Ed an embarrassing amount of time to realize it was coming from his own throat, as Stede tore his face away and latched on to the skin below Ed’s ear. Ed’s hips shot forward, meeting Stede’s body and the man pulled away from Ed’s neck, gasping. 

 

“I want—can I—Ed—”

 

“Please,” Ed panted. “Whatever you want, yes, please, God I’m begging .”

 

A noise reminiscent of a growl broke free from Stede’s throat as he tugged Ed back toward the bed and shoved him to a seated position on the edge. Once there, Ed gazed up at Stede in awe. A flush spanned Stede’s chest and cheeks, visible through the open buttons of his pajama top. His chest heaved and his mouth sat open as he stared down at Ed, wild-eyed.

 

He reached out to cup Ed’s cheek. “Oh, Ed,” he sighed. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. They write poems about men like you.”

 

Ed felt himself flush even darker, if it was even possible. He placed his own hand over Stede’s, leaning his face into the touch. Stede inhaled sharply above him.

 

“I promise that I am going to offer you all sorts of depraved things in the future but Ed,” Stede exhaled slowly. “I just want to watch you come apart tonight. Is that okay?”

 

It was like every braincell in Ed’s head shut down simultaneously. He gaped at Stede, mouth open, goosebumps covering his body. He nodded. Stede moved forward, tugging Ed’s tshirt slowly over the man’s head and casting it to the floor behind him. He cast his gaze over Ed’s torso, gasping as his eyes landed on Ed’s nipples. 

 

“Oh, Ed,” he breathed, reaching out. “May I?” He flicked his eyes up to meet Ed’s, who nodded. Stede thumbed the bars through Ed’s nipples, drawing a soft gasping moan from his throat. “You’re gorgeous , Ed.”

 

Ed whined low in this throat as Stede moved to pinch both nipples, sinking to his knees between Ed’s parted thighs. Leaning forward, Stede wrapped his lips around one pierced nipple, pinching the opposite one and twisting. Ed’s head fell back, his cock jerking to full mast in his sweatpants, brushing against Stede’s stomach. His pulse was racing and Ed didn’t know what to focus on: the feeling of Stede’s stomach against his crotch or his mouth around his nipple, his tongue flicking back and forth over the barbell. His hands found his way into Stede’s hair, carding through golden curls before wrapping his fingers into the strands and tugging lightly. A low moan tore itself from Stede’s throat and he pulled off from Ed’s nipple, moving upward and pushing him backward to lay out on the bed. 

 

Hooking his fingers into the waistband of Ed’s sweats, Stede slid them off of his body, eyes fixating on Ed’s cock where it bounced up. 

 

“Oh darling, what else have you been hiding from me?” Stede breathed, thumbing the pierced head of Ed’s cock. 

 

Ed panted. “Nothing else to hide, that’s all I got, jesus .”

 

Stede smiled, looking down at Ed with something akin to adoration all over his face. He gave Ed a good, firm stroke and Ed canted his hips upward, shuddering.

 

“Stede, Stede! Your turn,” Ed gasped. “Clothes, c’mon.” Ed pushed himself up on his elbows, watching as Stede straightened up and lifted his own pajama top over his head, letting it join Ed’s on the floor. The matching pants slid to the floor with ease as he undid the tie and Ed swallowed.

 

The man was a vision. A slight golden tan over his torso, thick around the chest and waist. Ed wanted to sink his teeth into every inch of his body. Stede’s cock stood proudly at attention, nestled into a thatch of dark, golden curls. Ed allowed himself to fall back flat on his back and reached his arms toward Stede, encouraging the man to join him on the bed. He climbed atop Ed, straddling him so their cocks lined up between the two, and Ed stifled a groan. He reached up to frame Stede’s face, pulling him down into a filthy kiss, licking into the man’s mouth with glee. 

 

This was unforeseen and Ed was going to enjoy every minute, damn it.

 

Their mouths moved languidly together, tongues becoming intimately familiar with one another. Ed was quite content that he could stay like that forever, pressed against the full length of Stede, sharing each other’s breath and heartbeat. 

 

The moment Stede got a hand between the two of them wrapped around both of their cocks, Ed knew he was a goner. He would never be able to sleep with another man. No one else would feel like this. Tearing his mouth from Stede’s, Ed whined, loud and high-pitched. When he dragged his eyes open, he found Stede watching him with a look of wonder on his face as he continued to stroke them both. 

 

“Stede, mate, fuck ,” Ed panted. “M’not gonna last if you keep that up and I, fuck , I want you in me when I come. Please! ”

 

Stede removed his hand but swallowed Ed’s mouth into a burning kiss before he pulled away to fumble around in his bedside drawer. He returned with a half-empty bottle of lube in his hand, fumbling with the cap. He met Ed’s gaze.

 

“Are you sure?” He whispered, hesitating with the lube.

 

“Yeah,” Ed replied with a small smile. “Never been more sure of anything in my life, mate.”

 

Stede gave a shaky nod, pouring some lube on his fingers, smearing some over Ed’s hole. Ed gasped, canting his hips back, but Stede pulled his fingers away to coat them with more, leaning back over Ed. 

 

“Do you want a condom?”

 

Ed cleared his throat. “Er, I’m clean, I get tested every two weeks. So if you are…”

 

Stede smiled. “Haven’t been with anyone since the last time I got tested. I’m clean.”

 

“Ah, so, when was the last time? You were with someone, I mean?” Ed asked, voice slightly higher than usual.

 

Stede’s smile morphed into something feral as he leaned back over Ed, bringing his fingers back to Ed’s hole and pressing one just barely past his rim. “Don’t tell me you’re already jealous?” Ed shook his head minutely, distracted by the finger inside him pressing slightly deeper. “It’s been about five years,” Stede murmured against Ed’s ear, moving back to press another firm kiss to his mouth.

 

Being surrounded by Stede, having Stede inside him , felt like heaven. Ed shoved back against his fingers until Stede finally pressed another in, scissoring and curling them, stroking Ed’s walls. Occasionally, Stede pulled his face back from Ed’s to watch the other man’s expression as he moved his fingers inside him, smiling whenever he made contact with Ed’s prostate and sent him into spasms.

 

By the time Stede had worked four fingers into Ed, there were tears collecting in the corners of Ed’s eyes and he knew his stomach was sticky from the amount of precome that had spilled from his slit. When Stede finally withdrew his fingers, he gazed down at Ed with a smile and tweaked a pierced nipple once more, twisting sharply to draw a cry from Ed’s throat. 

 

“Ready?” He asked, swiping a thumb under Ed’s eye to collect the moisture there. 

 

Ed nodded furiously but at Stede’s raised brow, words tore themselves from his throat in a babbled stream. “Yes, Stede, ready, please, c’mon, want you in me, Stede, please , want to feel you.”

 

Stede lined himself up with a small laugh, pressing just barely inside so that Ed could feel the stretch at his hole. He held himself over Ed, gazing down at where they were joined as he pushed forward slowly. Ed felt himself stretch around Stede’s cock, his body opening and welcoming Stede in. When Stede guided their hips flush together with a soft, exhaled moan, it felt like he was exactly where he belonged. Ed wanted to keep him inside forever. 

 

“Oh, my darling, you are exquisite,” Stede breathed, trailing a hand up to cup Ed’s cheek. “You feel phenomenal, my God .”

 

After giving Ed a few moments to adjust, Stede drew back and slammed his hips home, shoving a breath from Ed’s lungs. He built up a rhythm, slamming his hips to Ed’s so hard that the two men moved up the bed, bumping the headboard. Stede curled a hand around Ed’s head to protect him from hitting the heavy wood and he crushed their mouths together again in the semblance of a kiss, gasping into one another’s mouth. 

 

Ed continued to let out soft uh-uh-uh ’s as their hips met, arching his back up to press their chests together. The pressure of Stede’s torso against Ed’s leaking cock coupled with the firm movement of his hips sent Ed careening toward the edge so fast that all he could do was scrabble his nails along Stede’s back, gasping a warning as he came, his muscles locking up. Within half a dozen more thrusts, Stede slammed into Ed and grinded his hips forward, spilling hotly into Ed with his head falling to Ed’s shoulder as he collapsed against him. 

 

Ed brought his arms up around Stede, tracing patterns into his back as he caught his breath. It was an intimacy he had never had before; usually the men he brought home would stay to catch their breath, sure, but never still inside Ed. 

 

Stede finally pushed himself up, guiding himself slowly out of Ed before bringing his mouth back to Ed’s and initiating another gentle kiss. This one was less dirty and more kind, sweet and careful. Pressing a kiss to the corner of Ed’s mouth with a chuckle, Stede hauled himself to his feet and retrieved a warm cloth from the bathroom.

 

Watching him return, Ed looked the man up and down, taking in the fading flush to his skin and the new level of chaos to his curls. Stede grinned at him as he rejoined him on the bed, wiping down Ed’s front and then gently around his soft cock and between his legs. Ed had always cleaned himself off. A partner had never even offered.

 

“I can do it myself, you don’t have to,” he whispered, voice rasping. 

 

Stede tsked , furrowing his brow. “Our arrangement involves a lot of me taking care of you, Ed. It brings me joy to do so. I want to be the one to do it unless you’re uncomfortable or unhappy.” He stopped his ministrations, looking down at Ed in concern. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

 

“Oh, god, no,” Ed sputtered, sitting up. “I just don’t want you to think I’m helpless, or you have to take care of me if you don’t want to,” he mumbled. “Jesus, no, you aren’t making me uncomfortable.”

 

With a sigh, Stede set the cloth on the bedside table and maneuvered himself to sit next to Ed, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close, leaning the both of them back against the headboard. He was quiet for a moment, stroking his hand up and down Ed’s arm.

 

“I will never do something I don’t want to do, Ed,” he finally said quietly. “Everything that comes with the kind of relationship we are endeavoring to have…it’s all something I want to be able to give to you. There isn’t anything you need that I don’t want to give you. Your happiness is my top priority and whatever it takes to get there is something I want to do. Okay?’

 

Ed nodded against his shoulder, leaning further into him. Stede kissed the top of his head before nudging him down to lay flat and leaning over to turn off the lamp. Ed pulled him in to his chest as soon as he returned to a lying position and intertwined their legs, burying his face into the soft golden curls at the back of Stede’s head.

 

Stede placed his hands over Ed’s on his chest and snuggled back into him. Wrapped up tightly in one another, the two men drifted to sleep. 

Notes:

listen...that smut scene was cathartic for me. the gentle sex they both deserve. but even more cathartic is gentle dom/little spoon stede <3

as always, come find me on twitter (@pluviophiliced) and tumblr (@pluviophilicas) and say hi!!

Chapter 4: Caged

Summary:

ed doesn't do great at communication. stede finds a way to teach him to communicate.

please check updated tags before reading ;-)

Notes:

okay so sorry this chapter update got delayed BUT this chapter is almost entirely smut and delves more into the dom/sub relationship between the two. we're getting into the fun part now :)

Navigating their new relationship with one another proved to be easier than either man could have ever guessed. Ed continued to do his daily tasks and Stede continued to do his, maneuvering around one another with ease. Stede woke before Ed every day and greeted Ed with a kiss and a mug of tea after he showered, leaving Ed to wake up and get ready for the day at his own pace. After his morning shower, Ed tended to the animals first thing and then came back inside to a hot breakfast before Stede disappeared into his study for the majority of the day. Ed or Stede would start dinner, and then Ed would tend to the animals once more before coming back in to eat dinner together. Sometimes, the two would watch a movie before heading to bed. Sometimes they went straight to bed.

 

This became the routine. Even living in the same house, Ed wasn’t seeing Stede as much as he thought he would after the decision to allow their relationship to change. As another few weeks passed, Ed started to get antsy. 

 

Two weeks after moving into Stede’s room, the man had yet to make any sort of indication that he wanted to fuck Ed again and Ed was about to come out of his skin. Ed settled into bed beside the man every night, pulling him in against his chest, breathing in his lavender shampoo, and going out of his fucking mind. He found himself getting hard in the middle of the barn, and in the middle of breakfast, and while cooking dinner, like he was a fourteen year old again. 

 

He asked himself if he had done something wrong, but couldn’t bring himself to ask Stede. Stede, who seemed unbothered by the lack of intimacy—which, Ed supposed, made sense, since the man was a priest. Stede continued to be kind and gentle with Ed every day, patient when Ed had a short temper and never pushed for more than Ed was willing to give.

 

The issue was that Ed wanted to give more .

 

“Ed?” Stede’s voice jolted Ed out of his musings and he lurched forward to move the tea kettle off the burner, the high-pitched screech piercing his ears. When he turned, he found Stede looking at him, no small amount of concern on his face.

 

“Ed, are you alright?”

 

“M’fine, Stede,” Ed sighed, rubbing his temples. “What’s up?”

 

Stede walked forward so he was close enough that Ed could feel his breath, and he reached out and pressed the back of his hand to Ed’s forehead. 

 

“You aren’t feverish, but you do look a bit pale,” he muttered, worrying his bottom lip. “How about you lay down? I can finish breakfast and I’ll just bring it to you in bed.”

 

Ed scoffed. “I said I was fine, didn’t I? God, Stede, I’m an adult. I know whether or not I need to lay down!”

 

Stede recoiled as if Ed had physically slapped him, expression shuttering. A twinge of regret settled in Ed’s stomach immediately.

 

“Fuck, Stede, I’m sorry,” Ed sighed. “That was out of line.”

 

“Yes, I’d say so,” Stede responded, voice clipped. Ed winced. Stede never spoke to him like that. “But you’re right, you are a grown man and you can make decisions about your own health. I’m sorry I pushed.”

 

“No, Stede, that’s—”

 

“Anyway,” Stede continued, cutting Ed off. “I was going to suggest that we have a session in the chapel today, after breakfast. I just thought you may not feel up to talking about feelings and things, but I shouldn’t have assumed.”

 

He turned away from Ed and busied himself pouring his own mug of tea. Ed sighed and transferred the food he’d finished over to the kitchen table, moving back for plates. The two men settled into their respective seats and the room was filled with the sounds of forks and knives scraping plates. They ate in silence. When they finished, Stede initiated the process of cleaning up, taking over the kitchen sink as he scrubbed dishes and handed them to Ed to dry. 

 

Once the kitchen was back to its pre-breakfast state, Ed followed Stede to the chapel, trying to disband the dread settling in his stomach. He knew he had no reason to have snapped at Stede and the expression on Stede’s face afterward was enough to make him sick to his stomach. 

 

“Stede,” Ed murmured as they walked into the dark chapel. “I really am sorry.”

 

The priest turned to face him, brow furrowed. He sighed and touched Ed’s shoulder. “I hear you.”

 

He guided Ed to the front pew and sat next to him, looking up at the crucifix staring down at them. After a few moments, he reached over and took Ed’s hand in his own, swiping his thumb back and forth over the back of it. They continued to sit in silence, sharing one another’s company. 

 

“Do you remember our conversation about communication?” Stede finally asked, voice soft and eyes fixed ahead of him somewhere on the altar.

 

“Yes,” Ed replied, gut twisting. “I remember.”

 

“We talked about how communication is incredibly important to me, Ed, and I think it’s the only reliable foundation for a relationship.” He shifted, turning to face Ed. “What drove you to your outburst this morning?”

 

Ed sighed, fidgeting with Stede’s hand. “You haven’t touched me,” he mumbled.

 

For the second time that day, Stede recoiled. “ What? We sleep together every night in the same bed. I kiss you good morning every day!”

 

“I know! But you haven’t touched me again! Not since the first time!”

 

Stede’s mouth fell open as he stared at Ed. “What?”

 

Ed curled his shoulders in on himself. “Look, mate, if you don’t want me or whatever that’s fine but you gotta tell me straight up so I can stop thinking about it.”

 

Within seconds, Stede’s hand is on Ed’s chin, wrenching his face around to match their gazes. Stede looks devastated.

 

“You think I don’t want you?”

 

“You don’t touch me! Not more than you have to, at least. Sure, some kisses now and then and obviously we touch when we share the bed but you don’t go out of your way to feel me up or anything.”

 

Stede’s mouth opened and shut, but no noise came out. He just continued to stare at Ed as if Ed had grown a second head. Ed sighed and shifted so he was sitting further from Stede, bringing a hand up and scrubbing over his face.

 

“Look, Stede, it’s not a big deal. I get it, or I’m trying to. I just let my emotions get out of hand, or whatever.” 

 

“This is why I ask for communication, Edward,” Stede replied in a flat voice. “I had no idea you were feeling unwanted —“ His voice cracked, and Ed turned to stare. “This is a failure on both our parts, but I specifically asked you to communicate with me and you didn’t.”

 

“Stede, I—“ 

 

“In the chapel, you call me Father Bonnet.” Stede’s voice was firm, but not cold. A tingle made its way down Ed’s spine and he straightened up.

 

“Yes, Father Bonnet, sorry,” he rasped.

 

Stede tsked. “You disobeyed me, Ed. I explicitly asked for your communication and you’ve denied me that, do you understand that?”

 

Ed winced. “Yes.”

 

Reaching out a hand to cup Ed’s face, Stede stroked a thumb across his cheek while he met his gaze. “I never want you to feel unwanted, Ed. I need you to communicate with me to prevent that in the future.” Ed nodded.

 

Stede continued softly. “We’re going to have to find a way to make sure you don’t forget again, Ed, do you understand me?”

 

“Yes, Father,” Ed replied, averting his gaze.

 

Gripping his chin, Stede forced him to meet his gaze again. “I’m going to cage you, Edward.”

 

Electricity shot through Ed and he felt his cock twitch in his jeans. He swallowed hard. “How long?”

 

Stede hummed, considering. “We’re going to start with three days. Then we’ll check in. Does that sound okay?” Ed nodded. “Words, Edward.” Stede tapped his cheek.

 

“Yes, Father, that sounds okay,” Ed croaked. 

 

Stede smiled at him before standing and holding his hand out for Ed. “Up you get, c’mon.”

 

Stede led Ed toward the altar, and Ed hesitates.

 

“Uh…you’re gonna put it on…in here?” 

 

It feels sacrilegious. Not that Ed was particularly concerned with sacrilege, but the idea of being struck down by a lightning bolt in Stede’s personal chapel didn’t seem quite the way he wanted to go out. Stede turned to face him, expression carefully blank.

 

“Do you have something to tell me?” He asked, voice even and eyebrow raised.

 

Ed swallowed once more and steeled himself, shaking his head. He could do this. And it meant getting Stede’s hands back on him, even if Stede had no intent of there being a happy ending for Ed in the near future. 

 

Stede touched Ed’s face again, smiling at him. “There’s a good boy.” 

 

He led Ed up the first step of the altar before pushing gently at his shoulders. “Kneel.”

 

Ed sank to his knees, feeling his cock swell. It was going to be such a bitch to get soft enough to get the cage on, considering how Ed’s entire body lit up like a switchboard every time Stede touched him.

 

“Open your pants for me, love,” Stede commanded softly, standing in front of Ed. “Get your cock out for me.”

 

Gazing up at the priest, Ed fumbled with the button and zipper on his jeans. He wiggled his hips just enough to slide his jeans down just under his cock, standing proudly at attention, head flushed and leaking. 

 

“Now do mine,” Stede continued, voice dipping lower. Ed dropped his eyes to Stede’s crotch, undoing the tie and allowing the linen to sink down. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of Stede’s silk underwear and dragged it down with his pants until both waistbands were nestled below Stede’s half-hard prick. Ed could practically feel himself drooling.

 

Stede caressed Ed’s face and he leaned into the touch, gazing back up at Stede with half-lidded eyes. He brushed Ed’s curls back, off his face. 

 

“I want you to touch yourself while you suck my cock, Edward,” Stede murmured, rubbing his thumb over Ed’s plush lower lip and tugging his jaw open. “You may not come until after I do, do you understand?”

 

“Yes,” Ed whispered. “Please, Father.”

 

Returning his hands to Ed’s hair, Stede moves his hips forward to feed his cock slowly into Ed’s mouth. Ed relishes the slide of the soft heat over his tongue, opening his mouth just wide enough to feel Stede’s sock stretch it open further. He lost himself to the feeling of the head sinking into the back of his throat, his throat working to keep from gagging.

 

“Edward.” Stede’s voice rang out sharply, startling Ed backward, his eyes shooting open. “Touch yourself.”

 

With a soft moan and increased determination, Ed sank back down on Stede’s cock, taking it as far down his throat as he could. At the same time, he wrapped a hand around his own neglected prick, stroking slowly. A moan clawed its way from his throat and he watched as Stede tilted his head back, thrusting just barely further into Ed’s mouth, hands tightening in his hair.

 

Keeping one hand moving on his own cock, Ed raised his unoccupied hand to massage at Stede’s balls. As Stede’s light thrusts picked up, Ed moved his own hand quicker to match the rhythm, twisting around the head. He gave a quiet moan around Stede’s cock, trying to encourage the man to take control.

 

The feeling of Stede on his tongue was almost overwhelming. All of Ed’s senses were filled by Stede’s presence, above him and in front of him and all around him. His fingers tightening rhythmically in Ed’s curls, subtly rocking his head back and forth. Spit collected in the corners of Ed’s mouth as Stede slowly increased the speed of his thrusts into Ed’s throat, soft skin of his cock dragging against the inside of Ed’s lips. Every inhale through Ed’s nose filled his brain with the heady smell of Stede. Ed opened his throat as much as he could, inhaling in tiny gasps whenever Stede pulled far enough back to allow air into his throat. 

 

Tightening and twisting his hand around his own cock in time to Stede’s thrusts, Ed’s hips pitched forward into his fist without any thought. As Stede began to truly fuck his mouth, Ed moved his other hand to clutch at Stede’s hip to maintain his balance. Choked noises escaped his throat, matching Stede’s own grunts, grinding against Ed’s face on every other thrust. Moving Ed’s head purely by his grip in his hair, Stede tugged him down until Ed’s nose was pressed into the soft curls at the base of Stede’s cock, throat spasming around him. Ed felt the warmth of Stede releasing in his throat and moaned around the twitching cock, the speed of his own hand increasing. 

 

Stede pulled back from Ed’s mouth, smiling down at him as he caught his breath, wiping the spit off Ed’s mouth with his thumb. 

 

“Oh, there’s a good boy,” he murmured. “God, you’re stunning.”

 

Ed whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“There we are, darling, are you ready to come for me?”

 

Ed nodded, dropping his chin to his chest and panting. Stede’s hand was under his chin a moment later, tilting his face back up to meet his intent gaze. 

 

“Eyes on me, Edward, I want to see you fall apart.”

 

Those words did Ed in, his fist clenching around his cock and his muscles locking up, spilling over his fist and onto the altar step. Stede’s fingers carded through his hair, still periodically tugging gently as Ed twitched through the aftershocks. He bent down, coaxing Ed’s mouth into a gentle kiss, sliding his tongue inside to caress Ed’s. 

 

The world was hazy, Ed focusing only on the feel of Stede’s tongue against his own, his hands in Ed’s hair and on his jaw. Their mouths moved together gently, Stede taking the lead and guiding Ed’s mouth against his own. 

 

When Stede pulled away, he entered a door behind the altar, leaving Ed kneeling as he caught his breath and came back to himself, looking down at the white streaks on the floor in front of him. His knees ached from being on the cold altar for so long and Ed knew he would regret it as soon as he stood. Before he could get too concerned about it, Stede reappeared in the doorway, coming to sink to his knees in front of Ed.

 

The first touch to Ed’s sensitive cock sent a jolt through him, a soft cry torn from his throat. Stede hushed him and moments later Ed felt cold metal close around his cock. 

 

“Fuck,” he hissed, hunching forward.

 

“Cold, but not uncomfortable, is it?” Stede asked, tilting Ed’s chin back up to meet his gaze again. 

 

Ed took a moment to assess. The cage was heavy but not uncomfortably so, already warming quickly against his skin. He shook his head.

 

“Words, Edward.”

 

“Sorry,” he rasped. “Not uncomfortable, was just cold.” He smiled at Stede. “S’good.”

 

Stede caressed his face, smiling softly back at him. “Good. Let me know if that changes.”

 

He climbed to his feet, extending a hand to Ed and helping him to stand as well. Ed winced as his knee straightened out and Stede tsked.

 

“Sorry, darling, I forgot about your knee. Are you alright?” Stede wrapped an arm around Ed’s waist, pressing a kiss to his temple as he pulled his jeans up. “And don’t think I didn’t notice the lack of underwear, darling,” he whispered against Ed’s ear. 

 

Ed giggled, almost delirious in his post-orgasm state, hyper aware of the metal cage around his cock and Stede’s hands at his waistband, rebuttoning his jeans. He leaned his head against Stede’s shoulder and felt the man press a soft kiss to the top of his head. Stede linked their hands and guided Ed out of the chapel, heading back toward the house.

 

He settled Ed on the couch in the living room before disappearing into the kitchen, where Ed heard the telltale sounds of tea being made. He sank back against the pillows, letting his eyes slip closed. Now that he wasn’t stressed out about thinking that Stede didn’t want him, it felt like all his energy had fled his body alongside his orgasm, leaving him empty and exhausted. It was a good kind of empty, however; the kind of empty you feel after being sick for hours and finally throwing up. 

 

Stede reappeared in the doorway, a small smile on his face when Ed blinked his eyes back open. He crossed the room, setting a piping mug of tea on the side table next to Ed before sinking into the couch next to him. 

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

Ed cleared his throat. “Tired. But good otherwise, less tense. I, ah,” he paused, fidgeting his hands in his lap. “I didn’t know I was so close to losing my shit, Stede,” Ed sighed. “I really am sorry for this morning.”

 

Stede squeezed his thigh. “It’s alright. We’re going to do better in the future. That’s why we’re learning our lesson right now,” he said softly, giving Ed’s caged cock a swift tap through his jeans. “To be better in the future.”

 

Ed sucked in a sharp breath at the contact and Stede chuckled next to him, wrapping his arm around Ed and pulling him in close. Ed basked in the attention and the familiar warmth of Stede’s side pressed up against him. Stede fiddled with the remote and started flipping through channels, and Ed allowed his eyelids to slip closed. 

 

Existing like this alongside Stede was easy. His hand scratched idly at Ed’s scalp as Ed sank further into the couch, leaning more heavily into Stede. Allowing himself to let go and settle like this around Stede was such a gift that Ed had never expected to have—even growing up before the whole queer realization, Ed had never been able to just relax like this. After he had outgrown diapers, even his parents had never held him like this. Stede brought a new kind of easy care into Ed’s life that he hadn’t even realized he’d been missing out on. On one hand, it was wonderful. There was another part of him that ached for what he’d been deprived of. 

 

Ed faded in and out of consciousness for the next few hours, shifting occasionally. He wound up slumped onto Stede, an arm thrown over the other man’s waist. At some point, he realized Stede must have decided on a channel, as he felt both his arms around him with hands rubbing small circles into his body. The next time Ed opened his eyes, Stede was shifting them both, pulling Ed’s body fully over his own and laying down, guiding Ed’s head to be pillowed on his chest. He made a soft, questioning noise.

 

Stede hushed him. “The way you were sitting was going to be hell for your back later on and I thought we might prevent that. You’re okay.” 

 

His tone brokered no argument, not that Ed was inclined to make one. Stede’s hands found their way back to Ed’s hair, carding through the curls and scratching softly at his scalp. The gentle rise and fall of Stede’s chest combined with the soft pressure at his scalp put Ed right back to sleep.

*******

By the time Ed found himself back in the barn with Tipsy, he felt significantly lighter and more well-rested from his nap. Stroking Tipsy’s nose, Ed took a moment to focus on the warm weight of the metal around his cock. Chastity wasn’t something Ed had ever been particularly interested in exploring before—hell, he’d been raised on the value of chastity so it never seemed very sexy to him—so the sensation was new, but not unpleasant. 

 

The cage itself was heavier than Ed had expected, made of solid stainless steel. The lock was built into the cage, forgoing the need for a hefty separate lock, which Ed appreciated. Feeling his jeans brush the sensitive skin between the rings of the cage sent jolts down Ed’s spine, but there wasn’t room in the device for his cock to swell—something Ed was slowly realizing would be necessary over the next three days. 

 

Crossing the yard back to the house, Ed met Stede’s eyes through the kitchen window, offering him a small smile. The blonde smiled back, sending him a little wave. It felt odd to describe the man who had locked his cock into a literal cage as adorable , but it was the first word to come to Ed’s mind. 

 

“Animals doing alright?” He asked as Ed entered the kitchen, fussing with whatever he was cooking on the stove. 

 

“Yep,” Ed nodded. “Think Tipsy misses you though.”

 

He crossed the kitchen, hooking his chin over Stede’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Smells good.”

 

Stede chuckled. “Thank you. How about I do the morning feeding tomorrow? You can sleep in and make me a full breakfast.”

 

“I can do that,” Ed responded, pressing a kiss to Stede’s cheek before moving to set the table. 

 

As the two men moved around one another to set up for dinner, Ed paid attention to each abstract touch from Stede. He brushed against him or bumped their hips together every time they were close enough to do so, trailing his hand over Ed’s lower back or squeezing his hip. When they sat down at the table, Stede stretched his legs out under the table and hooked his foot around Ed’s ankle. Ed grinned into his soup, glancing up at Stede through his lashes. 

 

“Don’t look at me like that, you minx,” Stede grumbled. “The cage is staying on.”

 

Ed threw his head back, cackling. “I wouldn’t have it any other way!”

 

“Whore,” Stede teased.

 

With a glint in his eye, Ed grinned. “Yours, though.”

 

There was a sharp intake of breath from the blond as he stared at Ed, wide-eyed. Ed winked. 

 

“Eat your soup!” Stede snapped, his voice high pitched and his cheeks flushed.

 

“Yes sir,” Ed purred, trying to reign in his grin. It was incredible how easy Stede was to rile up when he wasn’t the one in control and the power made Ed crazy. Stede’s playful glare across the table only made it more worthwhile. Ed’s cock twitched in its cage. He had a long three days ahead of him. 

 

As they cleaned up from dinner, Ed couldn’t help himself from touching Stede as much as he possibly could. He skated his fingers up the man’s arm at the sink, then pressed his body flush against him as he reached around him to place a pot in the water. He leaned in close, running his nose up Stede’s throat, inhaling softly and feeling the bite of the metal at his crotch as he ground forward against Stede. 

 

Stede slammed the faucet handle down, cutting the water flow before spinning and dragging Ed forward into a filthy kiss, licking into his mouth and biting at his lips. Ed fell forward against Stede, pressing him back against the sink and moaning loudly at the feeling of teeth in his lower lip. Stede practically growled, hands trailing behind Ed and gripping at his ass, fingers digging in with a vengeance. 

 

He pulled back, nipping at Ed’s lower lip once more. “I’m not taking off the cage unless you opt out, Ed,” he groaned, voice low and eyes dark.

 

“I don’t want it off,” Ed replied. “Just because I can’t come doesn’t mean you can’t.” Ed sank to his knees in front of Stede for the second time that day, gazing up at the man above him, staring back down at him with his eyes wide and mouth agape.

 

“Can I suck you off, master?” Ed whispered, running his hands up and down Stede’s thighs. 

 

With a soft groan, Stede nodded, gathering Ed’s hair at the back of his head and wrapping it in his fist to keep it out of Ed’s face. Ed untied his pants and had both Stede’s pants and knickers pooled around his ankles in mere moments, leaning forward to take all of Stede’s half-hard cock into his mouth immediately. He gazed up at Stede, feeling his prick grow and harden on his tongue as he sucked gently, running the tongue up and down the shaft. 

 

“Oh, Ed, that’s exquisite,” Stede breathed, taking his hand not tangled in Ed’s hair and caressing Ed’s jaw, rubbing his thumb over the hollow of his cheek. Ed groaned at the thought of Stede feeling himself through Ed’s cheek. 

 

He ducked down to encompass the entirety of Stede’s cock, pulling back up with a slow drag, hollowing his cheeks as best he could and sucking gently, swirling his tongue around the tip before pulling off with a pop, bringing his hands up to stroke at Stede’s balls and shaft, reveling in the shifting skin under his fingertips. Ed let his fingers roam, trailing through the soft curls at the base of Stede’s cock and out to Stede’s hips as he suckled at the head, pressing his tongue into the slit just to pull reactions from the man above him. 

 

“Ed,” Stede rasped. “Stop teasing.” He tightened his hand in Ed’s hair and pushed his head forward, moving his hips at the same time. He didn’t use enough force so that Ed couldn’t stop him if he wanted to, but god, he had never wanted anything less. 

 

Above him, Stede was flushed from his cheeks to somewhere down under his collar. His lips are parted, bright red and spit slick—he is a vision. A gift from God. Anyone who calls what they’re doing wrong or sinful has never witnessed the effervescence of Stede Bonnet getting his cock sucked. Thirty-one years of life in the church could never have prepared Ed for the sacred experience of being on his knees for this man. 

 

Ed opened his throat and took Stede’s cock as far down his throat as he could before forcing himself to swallow on the intrusion, listening to a guttural moan wrench itself from Stede’s throat. Stede’s cock, salty and heavy on Ed’s tongue, filled every inch of Ed’s consciousness. He doubled his efforts, bobbing his head and swirling his tongue to the best of his abilities, massaging the Stede’s balls with his hands. 

 

“Fuck, Ed, I’m close,” Stede moaned, hips twitching forward and driving the head of his cock even deeper, scraping the back of Ed’s throat.

 

Ed pulled off. “Want you to come on my face, master. Mark me up,” he murmured, voice wrecked. 

 

Stede’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

 

Wasting no time on reattaching his mouth to Stede’s prick, Ed nodded, swirling his tongue around the tip of Stede’s cock and relishing the burst of salt over his tastebuds. He gazed up at Stede, swallowing the man down once more and holding him there, swallowing around him until his eyes watered. He removed his hands from Stede’s body and clasped them behind his back, blinking up at the vision above him.

 

Stede got the hint. Keeping one hand in Ed’s hair and gripping his chin with the other, Stede began to truly fuck Ed’s face, setting a near-brutal pace. The kitchen was filled with the wet sounds of Ed gagging and choking on Stede’s thick cock as he drove himself home over and over again. 

 

“Oh, Ed, darling,” Stede panted, grip tightening. “Oh, fuck , your mouth, my god .”

 

Tears poured down Ed’s face as Stede’s cock bumped the back of his throat repeatedly. He kept his eyes trained on Stede’s face, moaning wantonly under the man’s motions as his cock attempted valiantly to harden in his jeans, despite the metal entrapping it. Finally, Stede pulled out from Ed’s mouth and released his grip on his hair, getting a fist around himself and maintaining a brutal pace around his own cock until he was coming, spilling over Ed’s face. Ed closed his eyes, feeling the hot splatter across his nose and cheeks, some landing in his open mouth. 

 

When he next opened his eyes, Stede was kneeling in front of him, gazing at him with an awed expression and warmth in his brown eyes that Ed didn’t have the capability to think about. Stede’s hands came up and he swiped fingers over Ed’s cheeks, and it took a moment for Ed to realize the man was rubbing it into Ed’s skin . Ed’s mouth fell even further open if at all possible, gazing at the other man as he leaned forward and claimed Ed’s mouth once more in a passionate kiss. 

 

“Ed,” Stede whispered, pulling back. “That was phenomenal. Thank you.”

 

“Thank you, master,” Ed croaked, unable to force his voice to come out any stronger. Stede stroked his cheek, wiping at the tear tracks that had formed there. Ed flushed under Stede’s intent gaze, averting his own eyes. Stede had a way of looking at Ed that laid him bare. Ed had the feeling that Stede could see past all of his outer shell to the soft core of him that he tried to keep hidden. 

 

Stede leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss, chaste this time, to Ed’s mouth. “Let’s get you up, hm? Your knee is going to hate me in the morning.”

 

Ed nodded and let the man pull him to his feet, a sharp pain jolting through his knee and down his leg, and a wave of dizziness overtook him. Stede’s arm was around him in seconds, pulling him in and holding him firm. 

 

“Alright darling, there we are, let’s head to the bedroom, hm?” Stede murmured, coaxing Ed forward. Everything seemed a bit fuzzy, a bit surreal. The world seemed to shrink down to the heat of Stede pressed to his side and the throbbing ache of his cock pushing against the steel rings. He let out a soft groan.

 

“Shh, you’re alright, darling,” Stede cooed. “Almost there.”

 

The bed seemed to materialize in front of them and Ed blinked slowly. The walk from the kitchen to the bedroom was much shorter than it usually was. Stede disappeared from his side and Ed swayed on the spot, confused. 

 

“I have your pajamas, darling,” Stede was back in front of him smiling at him softly. “Can I help you change into them?”

 

The words took a moment to process as Ed got distracted by Stede’s…everything. God, he was gorgeous. Ed wanted to lick the crows feet at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t right for someone’s eyes to be so gentle and sparkly. And lips, slightly swollen. He was immaculate.

 

“Edward?” 

 

Ed blinked. “Yeah, sorry, yes.”

 

Stede placed a quick kiss to the corner of Ed’s mouth before helping him remove his clothes until he stood naked in front of the other man, fully on display. He looked at Ed before reaching to run a finger over the body-warmed metal cage.

 

“Still feeling okay? Nothing hurts, does it?” Stede asked, eyes flicking down to Ed’s cock. He licked his lips. “Looks sublime, Ed.”

 

“Nothing hurts, thank you, master,” Ed murmured, closing his eyes at the heat of Stede’s hand cupping the cage. 

 

Stede hummed, then tugged Ed’s shirt over his head and down his torso. He knelt in front of Ed once more, tapping his thigh.

 

“Lean on me, please, sweetheart,” he commanded gently. “Need you to lift a leg for me.” Ed did. “Now the other, please.” 

 

Once Ed had stepped through both pant legs, Stede guided the soft pajama pants up and tied them at his waist, brushing his cock again. He spun Ed to sit on the bed before bustling about the room to get himself into his own tartan nightie, flicking off the light on his way back to the bed. 

 

“Come here, darling,” Stede called softly, reaching for Ed. Ed crawled to him, curling up at his side so that Stede could pull the blankets over the two of them before stroking through Ed’s hair once more. Silence settled over them in the dark room, the sky outside slowly growing darker as the remnants of the sunset disappeared. 

 

Eventually, Ed’s head cleared. Stede’s hand was still moving through his hair, tugging gently at the strands every so often. He shifted his head slowly to look up at Stede, finding him already looking back down at him. He grinned.

 

“Hello there, angel,” Stede murmured. “Welcome back.”

 

“Hey,” Ed croaked. “Er, what do you want me to call you right now?”

 

Stede chuckled, pressing a kiss to Ed’s forehead. “Unless we’ve specifically discussed a scene at night, I’d prefer to just be Stede when we go to sleep together, if that’s okay with you?”

 

“That’s fine with me,” Ed shook his head, then pouted. “But I have to keep the cage on?”

 

A laugh tore itself from Stede’s throat, clearly catching the man off guard. “Darling, say the word and I’ll let you out. If it’s not fun for you then we’re not getting anything out of it.”

 

Ed grumbled. “Fucking fine.”

 

Stede gripped his chin lightly, tilting his face up. “Edward. This is an exercise in communication, remember? Do you want me to unlock the cage?”

 

Ed shook his head emphatically. “No, no, I’m good, I’m okay.”

 

“You are good,” Stede nodded. “The best . But that won’t change if you need to opt out of anything we do. Understand?”

 

“Yes, Stede, I understand. I hear you,” Ed replied, averting his eyes again. “Sorry.”

 

“Nothing to apologize for, darling. Nothing at all.”

 

With that being the final word, Stede rearranged their bodies so their positions were swapped, Ed wrapped around Stede and hugging him tightly against his chest. Ed inhaled the smell of Stede’s shampoo, breathing in the essence of man in front of him. He could feel Stede’s heartbeat where their bodies touched and Ed allowed it to lull him to sleep.

*******

Day two of the cock cage has Ed on edge. No pun intended. Every brush of fabric—or anything really—against the metal sent Ed hissing and tensing up. To make matters worse, Stede spent the day waltzing around in a lace-up v-neck, showing off his tits like a whore. Ed spent the day taking deep breaths to will himself back from allowing his cock to swell and the steel rings to dig into his flesh. He took two different ice cold showers.

 

“Oh, my darling, you seem so tense,” Stede cooed over lunch, stopping behind Ed and digging his thumbs into his shoulders. “What’s going on?”

 

“Don’t patronise me, Stede,” Ed hissed through his teeth, leaning into Stede’s touch. “You know exactly what’s going on.”

 

With a small chuckle, Stede bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of Ed’s head. “We’ll reassess tomorrow, unless you want out today?” 

 

He raised one eyebrow as he took his seat across from Ed. 

 

“Oh, fuck you, I’m not saying that,” Ed scoffed.

 

Stede tutted. “Language, Edward.”

 

Ed stuck his tongue out, but didn’t argue, biting into his sandwich with a renewed vigor. He tried not to think about Stede’s stupid little smirk across the table from him or the heavy weight of Stede’s gaze. 

 

Moving around one another in the kitchen drove Ed up the wall. He knew Stede was being an overwhelming presence on purpose and it was everything he could do to keep himself from dropping to his knees for the man and humping his leg like a dog. Every time Stede passed him Ed’s body vibrated with want. Something about knowing he couldn’t have release only drove Ed’s wanting even further. The blond looked fucking delectable. 

 

Facing Ed, Stede tutted. “Darling, are you planning to put that in the fridge at all?”

 

Ed jolted, looking down at his hands and realizing he was still holding a tupperware of watermelon. How long had he been standing there?

 

“Er, yes,” Ed replied, staring at Stede. There was the tiniest sprinkle of chest hair visible in the deep v-cut of the shirt and Ed’s mouth watered. 

 

“Edward!” Stede crossed his arms, raising both his eyebrows at Ed. 

 

“Fuck, sorry!” Ed shook his head roughly, stepping toward the fridge and wrenching the door open. He dropped the fruit onto a shelf and slammed the door shut, leaning his back against it. 

 

Facing Stede again, however, proved to be an immense mistake. The man stood with his eyes trained on Ed, hips canted back against the kitchen table. His arms were crossed over his chest and Ed couldn’t stop his eyes from tracking the flex of the toned biceps under that godforsaken shirt. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed on it.

 

Stede sighed. “Alright, let’s go.”

 

Ed straightened up in alarm. “What? Go where? Stede, I swear, I don’t want it off!”

 

“Excuse me?” Stede narrowed his eyes. “What’s my name?”

 

Oh . This, Ed could do.

 

“Master! Master. Sorry.” Ed took a shaky step forward, reaching for Stede’s hand. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m good. I’ll be good.”

 

Stede tsked, running his fingers over Ed’s jawline. “Go to the bedroom and kneel by the foot of the bed, please. I’ll be in in a moment. Leave all your clothes on.”

 

Ed froze for a moment, then nodded, turning quickly on his heel and exiting the kitchen. Once in the bedroom, he took a deep, shaky breath. He knew, logically, there likely wasn’t anything too terribly exciting coming. Stede letting him suck him off for the third time in two days was probably pushing it, and Ed was going to be okay with that if it killed him. 

 

He sank to his knees, clasping his hands behind his back and inhaling deeply through his nose. The room smelled subtly of Stede’s usual lavender and vanilla and the tension bled slowly out of Ed’s shoulders. He focused on the smell of the room and the sound of Stede moving around in the kitchen, letting the weight of the steel around his cock ground him in the room instead of distracting him the way it had been all day. 

 

Moments—or hours—later, Stede’s hands ran over Ed’s shoulders and he jolted, before settling and leaning back against Stede’s legs. 

 

“Oh, my darling, you are radiant,” Stede murmured from above him. “You’re so patient, so good for me. Did you miss me?”

 

“Yes, master,” Ed breathed. Stede rewarded him with a hand carding through his hair.

 

“How do you feel, Ed?”

 

“Good, master, thank you.”

 

Stede scratched at his scalp, tugging lightly at his curls. “I want to give you a massage, darling, would that be okay?”

 

Ed nodded against his hand. “Yes, please.”

 

“It’s not a sexy massage, Edward, just a normal massage to help us loosen up some of your tension, so no funny business, okay?” 

 

“Yes, master.”

 

“Alright,” Stede replied, sounding pleased. He tapped Ed’s shoulder. “Up you get, I want you to strip and lay face down on the bed for me.”

 

Obediently, Ed clambered to his feet and went about stripping, hesitating when he got down to his briefs. He looked up at Stede, slightly panicked.

 

“Er, how naked do you want me?” He asked, fidgeting.

 

“Whatever’s most comfortable for you, darling, I’m fine either way.” Stede smiled at him. 

 

Hesitating a moment longer, Ed shrugged and forewent his underwear, adding them to the pile on the floor. He had never been body shy and didn’t see the point in starting now. Sprawling down onto the bed, he pillowed his head on Stede’s pillow, breathing his scent in as deep as he could.

 

“Oh, you are truly something to be beheld, Edward,” Stede said reverently, running his fingers down Ed’s spine and stopping just above his ass. Ed fidgeted under the touch, shying away from the sentiment. It’s one thing to not be body-shy and another thing entirely to allow yourself to be looked at so closely by another person.

 

A moment later there was a dip in the bed as Stede joined Ed, knees settling on either side of Ed’s ass. Thumbs dig into Ed’s shoulders, moving in small, intense circles. Stede moves slowly down Ed’s back, digging and pushing and twisting at muscles Ed didn’t even realize were tense. The man must have been a masseuse in a different life because his fingers were magic and he knew exactly where to press and exactly how hard. 

 

As Stede moved down Ed’s body, Ed sank further into the mattress, his body relaxing and thrumming with Stede’s gentle, but firm ministrations. Ed let his thoughts go fuzzy, floating in the sensation of Stede’s hands on his bare skin. The world was hazy around the edges, everything made up of shapes and colors and the smell of Stede, the weight of his body against Ed’s ass and the sound of breathing as he worked out every kink and knot he could find. 

 

The man’s hands made their way down Ed’s body, palming over his ass and digging sturdily into his thighs. Ed sighed contently into Stede’s pillow. Feeling Stede’s capable hands work the muscles of Ed’s legs kept Ed’s mind focused just enough to appreciate the methodical movement and care pouring out from the man. Firm but gentle, Stede worked with a passion Ed had never felt directed toward a person, let alone toward himself.

 

When Stede arrived at Ed’s bad knee, Ed tensed automatically. 

 

“Shh, darling, I’ve got you,” Stede murmured from somewhere above him, rubbing circles into where the hamstring met the knee. “There we go.”

 

Ed forced himself to relax back into the bed, allowing Stede to continue his attention to Ed’s knee. Stede massaged the knee in ways that Ed couldn’t do on his own, sending pleasant tingles down his leg. In his thirty-one years of life, this was the first time anyone had laved so much attention toward his knee and been so thorough in caring for it. It was almost too much. Ed had a feeling that if he were in a clearer state of mind, this would have been overwhelming for him emotionally, but in his current state, Ed was able to simply revel in the attention.

 

Stede moved on from Ed’s knee and down to his calf, then repeated the movements on his other leg. Ed jolted as Stede’s weight slowly blanketed him, the other man hooking his own arms under Ed’s and pressing his nose against the nape of Ed’s neck. With Stede’s weight at his back and his breath on his neck, Ed allowed himself to fall asleep.

*******

 

Sitting next to Stede in the chapel, Ed felt like his skin was on fire. Stede’s eyes were closed and he looked deep in thought—or prayer, Ed supposed—but their bodies were lined up and Ed’s skin burned where it touched Stede’s. He had no idea what to expect from their check-in but the thought of taking the cage off made his skin itch. He just didn’t know how to tell Stede.

 

“Darling?” Stede murmured. “You’re thinking so loud you’re practically vibrating.”

 

“Sorry!” Ed fidgeted. “Don’t mean to.”

 

Stede turned to face him, an eyebrow raised in question. “What’s going on?”

 

Ed sucked in a sharp breath. “Nothing, sorry, nothing.”

 

There were a few moments of silence as Stede appeared to weigh his options on how to respond to Ed and the waiting only drove Ed closer to the edge. He gritted his teeth. 

 

“Ed, how are you feeling?”

 

Ed sucked in a breath. Stede’s eyes were narrowed and dark. “Good, I feel—I feel good.”

 

Stede considered him for a moment. “Over the altar, please.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“Bend over the altar, Ed.”

 

“I—okay.”

 

“Edward.” Ed jolted, looking over at Stede. “What do you say?”

 

“Sorry—yes, Father Bonnet,” he murmured. Stede nodded and gestured toward the altar, watching Ed closely as he approached. The altar sat higher than was strictly comfortable to lay across and Ed found himself up on his tiptoes to be more secure. He took a few shaky breaths, trying to focus on his breathing, his cheek pressed flat against the cool wood. Stede’s shoes echoed over the floor as he joined Ed on the altar. 

 

Stede placed a hand lightly on Ed’s lower and back he shuddered under the touch.

“Beautiful, Ed,” Stede said quietly, before his touch disappeared and Ed heard his steps head toward the door behind the altar. The same place he got the cage , Ed’s brain reminded him quietly. Ed whined low in his throat. 

 

“Hush now, I’m still here.” Stede’s voice came from the doorway. “Just had to grab a few things.”

 

Ed couldn’t see what Stede placed on the altar but the man’s presence behind him drew his attention immediately and he couldn’t find it in him to be concerned about it any longer. Stede pressed against his ass and Ed allowed his weight to sink back into him. 

 

“You’re gorgeous, Ed, absolutely stunning.” Ed answered him with a quiet hum. “I’m going to take your pants off, alright?”

 

“Yes, Father,” Ed whispered. Stede stroked down his sides, trailing his fingers over his ass before moving back up, under the hem of his shirt. He pushed the shirt up until it was bunched under Ed’s armpits, then he bent over him and placed a kiss in the middle of Ed’s spine. His fingers were warm as they slid between Ed’s hips and the edge of the altar, unbuttoning and unzipping deftly. Stede’s weight disappeared with the pants as he followed them down, wrapping his hands around each of Ed’s ankles in turn and guiding his pants all the way off. When Ed was bare from his chest down, Stede stood back up and leaned into him once more. 

 

“Divinely made, Ed,” Stede breathed into his ear, draping his torso over Ed’s. “That’s what the church says—we’re made in the image of God. That makes you something sacred.”

 

Ed couldn’t hold back the whine that escaped from his throat. The pressure of Stede’s body and the feel of him still fully clothed against Ed’s vulnerable skin sent shivers down his spine that had nothing to do with the cool air of the chapel. He felt Stede’s lips against his neck before the man stood straight behind him again, placing his hands on either side of Ed’s hips and guiding them back so he was flat-footed, chest and face pressed flat against the altar but caged cock far enough to no longer brush the wood. He felt Stede reach around him, grabbing something off the table and then the click of something being set on the floor under him. 

 

“You tell me if at any time you want to stop, Edward, do you understand?” Stede’s hands were on his lower back again, stroking and rubbing small circles.

 

“Yes, Father, I understand.” Ed’s voice quavered as he spoke. 

 

A wet lick over his hole sent Ed rocking roughly forward, a surprised cry ripping from his throat. Stede’s hands were locked onto his hips, holding them back, as he delved his tongue inside Ed. Ed gritted his teeth, his cock swelling as much as it could inside its cage, the steel biting into the skin. 

 

Suddenly there was a finger alongside the tongue and Ed sobbed, rocking back into the pressure. It curled and pressed directly into Ed’s prostate, forcing a sharp exhale from the man’s mouth. Ed pulled his arms under his face, trying to focus on his breathing. 

 

Stede spoke from behind him. “Prostate orgasms are known to be more intense than a regular orgasm, and a massage is one of the best methods of achieving one.” He bit at one of the globes of Ed’s ass sharply, sparking another moan from Ed’s throat as he twitched under the pressure on his prostate. “You can come this way without ever getting fully hard, Ed, did you know that?”

 

Ed whined, words escaping him.

 

“Think of it as a reward for how good  you’ve been, wearing my cage so well.” Stede placed a kiss over the spot he had bitten. Ed’s entire body buzzed. A second finger joined the first and the firm rubbing over his prostate increased. Stede continued talking behind him but Ed didn’t process a word, overwhelmed by the sensations going on in his body. 

 

A familiar, but slightly different heat built up in Ed’s stomach and he panted into his arms, unsure of what direction he was moving his hips. Everything boiled down to the feeling of Stede’s fingers inside of him, moving and pressing. 

 

“Father, shit, Father Bonnet, I—”

 

“It’s alright, Ed, go on,” Stede stated clearly, almost a command. Ed tensed and shook, raising him high enough off of the altar to see his cock weeping a milky fluid into a bowl on the floor. 

 

Ed’s entire body shuddered and spasmed, lightning coursing through him. Every nerve was alight, vibrations echoing through his body, radiating out from where Stede’s fingers were still pressed against him, coaxing him through it. There was a high-pitched keening in his ears and Ed’s head was fuzzy and hazy. He pressed his face back into his arms, breathing hard.

 

Stede’s lips were at his ear. “I want to be inside you, Edward, if you’ll have me.”

 

Body twitching and mind reeling, all Ed wanted was to feel Stede split him open. “Please, Father,” he croaked.

 

The head of Stede’s cock felt massive pressed against Ed’s rim. Ed vaguely considered that his rim was much slicker than it could have been just from Stede’s mouth, but the man was pressing inside before Ed could pin down a thought long enough to wonder. The stretch of Stede’s cock sliding inside of Ed was immaculate. Effervescent. Ed felt like a virgin, opening for the first time for someone who was meant to be there. 

 

Stede picked up a firm pace almost immediately, driving directly into Ed’s prostate to the edge of overstimulation. Ed sobbed into his arms, trying to cant back into Stede to meet his thrusts, but unable to match the rhythm. His body felt disconnected from his brain, tremors shooting through him as he tensed uncontrollably around Stede.

 

The hot flow of Stede coming inside him sent Ed into spasms around his cock. Stede draped himself over Ed’s back, bringing his arms up and sliding them under Ed’s, linking their fingers together. 

 

Ed realized the keening noise he had been hearing was coming from his own throat as Stede hushed him quietly, pressing gentle kisses on his cheek and the bolt of his jaw. Stede’s breath against his neck as he came down sent more shivers through Ed’s body. He was floating.

 

After a few moments, or perhaps a few hours, Stede stood up and slipped out of Ed’s body, stroking over his back gently and turning him around. He searched Ed’s face with his gaze.

 

“Hello, darling,” he whispered, cupping Ed’s cheek. “How are we doing?”

 

Ed blinked at him slowly, trying to pin down words. “Er,” was all he could manage.

 

Stede leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth. “That’s alright, darling. Can you lean back against the altar for me? I’m going to take off the cage.”

 

Ed shot a hand forward, gripping Stede’s shoulder. “No.”

 

Stede blinked. “No?”

 

Ed shook his head hard enough that he pitched forward, Stede’s hands gripping his waist to keep him upright. “Wanna keep it. Wanna feel it.”

 

Fixing Ed with a long look, Stede quirked an eyebrow.

 

“Please,” Ed added as a follow up. 

 

Stede sighed. “The cage is coming off tonight, Edward, but I will leave it on for now.”

 

“Thank you Father,” Ed breathed. 

Stede guided him to lean back against the altar as he lifted each leg and guided them back into each of Ed’s pant legs. He pulled the pants back up as he stood, refastening the button at Ed’s waist and pulling him back in for another kiss. 

 

“Alright darling, let’s head back to the house.”

 

After the two men retired to bed for the night, Stede guided Ed to lay down before gently removing the cage and immediately replacing it with his own mouth, bringing Ed quickly to release. The cage went onto Stede’s nightstand before he rolled over and curled into Ed’s chest. 

 

“So you liked the cage?” He asked quietly into the silent room.

 

Ed chuckled, squeezing Stede tightly. “Fuckin’ loved it , mate.”

 

He pressed a kiss into Stede’s hair, breathing him in. Sometimes he didn't feel real. He pulled him just a little bit closer.

Notes:

i had a bit more written but decided it was getting a little to intense for only being chapter four and moved that part to a later chapter lol i tried to make up for this chapter taking a while to get done by making it almost 9k, so i hope it's worth the wait!!

as always you can come find me on twitter (@pluviophiliced) or tumblr (@pluviophilicas) so come say hi and/or tell me your thoughts!!! (unless you hated it bc i am fragile)

thanks for reading <3

Chapter 5: Punishment

Summary:

someone toes a line until he gets exactly what he wants. they also have a couple *moments*

Notes:

warning for some discussion of homophobia/discussion of homophobic threats toward the end of the chapter

for lez <333

Ed knew he was walking a line, so to speak. He had found the exact line between mouthing off at Stede and pushing over into the territory of disrespect, and he could tell that Stede knew exactly what he was doing.

 

But the man was holding out on him. 

 

Ed would blatantly sass him and Stede just smiled, then changed the subject. Ed offered snark and Stede countered with a light kiss to Ed’s forehead. On one hand, it was a show of a brute-strength level of patience that Ed could never hope to have himself, but on the other…Ed knew that Stede could cut loose if he could just drive him to that point. 

 

“Ed, darling, would you do the dishes from breakfast when you get the chance?” Stede called over his shoulder as he disappeared out the back door on his way to the chapel. Clean-up from breakfast had gotten a bit off course, as tasks so often did when it was just up to the two men to get things done together. 

 

Mid-way through scrubbing the casserole dish, Ed’s movement slowed and he stared down at his hands submerged in the soapy water. Now this could work.

 

He knew the moment Stede realized the dishes were still sitting dirty in the sink. The footsteps halted in the middle of the kitchen before continuing, and then Ed heard the clattering of dishes and splashing of water. He almost scrambled up from the couch to rush to the kitchen—he hadn’t meant for Stede to actually have to do the dishes—but he held himself back. Perhaps the result would be worth it. 

 

It was mere minutes before Stede was in the doorway to the living room, leaning his shoulder against the wood and gazing appraisingly at Ed. 

 

“Hello, love,” Ed said with a smile, glancing up coyly from the book in his lap. “How goes the work?”

 

Stede hummed. “It goes. Same as usual.” He paused, and Ed quirked an eyebrow in response. “Didn’t get around to the dishes, hm?”

 

“Oh, drat,” Ed deadpanned. “I really meant to, I just…well, I didn’t want to.”

 

“You… didn’t want to,” Stede repeated. 

 

“Mmm, yeah. Yes.” Ed shot him a grin. He was practically vibrating as Stede crossed the room toward him, pinning Ed to the couch with nothing but his gaze. Stede’s face was shuttered in a way Ed was learning to appreciate—a promise for Ed. Standing over him, Stede looked every bit as imposing as Ed had thought he would be before he ever met him. His shoulders squared as he looked down his nose at Ed, Stede’s eyes raked over every inch of Ed’s face. Ed slowly closed his book and set it to the side, eyes fixed on Stede’s. 

 

He reached out a hand and gripped Ed’s chin, holding his face in place. His eyes flicked  over Ed’s face before he matched their gazes once more. 

 

“Do you want to play, darling?” His voice was smooth, low, silk like a dark chocolate. Ed was absolutely drowning in it. 

 

“Yes,” he breathed. 

 

Stede tsked. “Yes…?”

 

Ed swallowed hard. “Yes, Master, I want to play. Please.”

 

Stede nodded, his brow furrowed. Releasing Ed’s chin, he turned and walked away, disappearing into the hallway toward his study. Ed hesitated, unsure if he was supposed to follow Stede or not. It wouldn’t make sense for Stede to ask if he wanted to play and then just leave him sitting in the living room, and he would have told him to stay if that’s what he wanted, Ed was sure. He slowly got up, following after where Stede had disappeared. 

 

In the man’s study, Stede was in the process of clearing assorted books and papers off of his desk. Ed stood in the doorway, shifting from one foot to another awkwardly, unsure of where he was meant to be. 

 

“Sit down , Edward,” Stede scolded without even turning to face the man in the doorway. Ed jolted, scrambling to sit in the same chair he’d sat in the first time Stede had ever brought him into the office. 

 

Stede continued to bustle around the room, hardly even glancing Ed’s way once. The air in the room felt thick and Ed was vibrating under his skin, tapping his fingers against the arms of the chair and watching Stede do whatever it was that was more important than paying attention to Ed. A sigh pushed itself out of his lungs without consent, and Stede stopped moving. Ed froze, sitting up straighter in his chair. He wanted attention, sure, but not to sound bratty. At least, not over this. 

 

“Am I not moving fast enough for you, Edward?” Stede asked slowly, turning to face Ed and leaning back against his desk. “Am I wasting your time?”

 

Ed shook his head quickly. “No, Master, I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”

 

Stede raised a brow. “Just…slipped out?”

 

“Er, yeah?”

 

“Hm,” Stede walked back to Ed and took his chin in hand once more. “Stand up. Clothes off and I want you bent over my desk where you belong.”

 

Ed gulped, his cock kicking in his jeans, and he rose quickly to his feet. Maintaining eye contact with Stede, Ed unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and dropping it into the chair. Stede kept his eyes trained on Ed’s, never breaking their eye contact even to glance down to Ed’s bare chest. Ed fumbled with the button of his jeans, tugging the zipper down and shoving his briefs and pants down together at once. Once bare, Ed finally broke his gaze and pushed delicately past Stede, sprawling himself over the dark wood. 

 

Pressing his cheek into the smooth desk surface, Ed felt Stede’s foot connect gently with the inside of his ankle, guiding his legs further apart. His clothed crotch met Ed’s bare hips and Ed keened, twitching back against his lover. Stede’s hands came to his hips, digging in and pressing his hip bones into the edge of the desk, effectively pinning him as Stede grinded his crotch forward into Ed. He bent forward, blanketing Ed’s body with his own and breathing directly into his ear. 

 

“You directly disobeyed me, Ed,” he murmured. “You didn’t help out with chores because you… didn’t want to . That’s incredibly disappointing.”

 

And oh , that wasn’t Ed’s goal at all. To push Stede, sure, to get them to this position, absolutely, but to disappoint him? Ed fidgeted, pushing himself up from laying flat so that he could try to turn and face Stede, but a firm hand quickly pressed against his neck, keeping him flat.

 

“Where are you going, Edward?”

 

“I don’t—”

 

“You don’t… what?” Stede’s grip on his neck tightened, just barely. “Say the word and we stop,” he said directly into Ed’s ear, and Ed knew he was being sincere. He knew that all he had to do was tell Stede he changed his mind, didn’t want to do this anymore, and the other man would release him in a moment. 

 

“Nothing, Master, I’m sorry,” Ed replied, relaxing back into the desk. “I didn’t mean to disappoint you.”

 

“Oh, sweet boy,” Stede cooed. “Didn’t you?” He trailed his hands up Ed’s sides, scratching the delicate skin lightly. Stede bit lightly under Ed’s ear. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For me to bend you over? Did you want me to spank you, Edward?”

 

There it was. That was it. Ed was almost dizzy with how desperately he wanted that. 

 

“ Yes ,” he whispered. “Master, please! ”

 

Stede hushed him, straightening up behind him and taking his weight away from Ed’s ass. He ran lightly calloused hands over the soft skin there and Ed leaned back into it, twitching under Stede’s gentle touch.

 

The first strike caught him heavily off guard, sending him rocking forward, a sharp gasp tearing through his throat. His skin stings, smarting where Stede’s hand collided with the meat of his ass. 

 

“Oh, there we are,” Stede said. “Alright, darling, need you to count for me. I think we’ll start with fifteen, hm?”

 

Ed whimpered, burying his face into his arms. “Okay,” he responded, voice raspy. “One.” Stede brings his hand down again, and then again. “Two… three , fuck…four…”

 

Each echoing smack sends shivers up and down Ed’s spine as he canted his hips back to meet each blow. By the tenth, Ed’s brain was fuzzy and he couldn’t think of anything outside of the fire spread across the skin of his ass and Stede’s grounding presence behind him. His legs shook and he leaned more heavily into the table to keep himself upright, ass and cock both throbbing—though for very different reasons. 

 

Moments after the final hit, there was a slick finger at Ed’s entrance, pressing him open. He rocked forward, his dripping cock gliding across the surface of the desk. A second finger joined the first, scissoring and tugging at Ed’s rim with a gentle sort of pressure, as if Stede were coaxing his body open by reminding it who he was. 

 

The fingers withdrew. Hands on either side of Ed’s hips pulled the skin apart, exposing his hole to the cool air of the room, and Ed shivered, his bare frame flooding with goosebumps. There was the blunt pressure of Stede’s cock at his hole, pressing and pressing until the tip popped past Ed’s rim, allowing Stede to start a slow, smooth glide until his hips rested flat against Ed—the zipper of his pants cutting into the sensitive, raw flesh of Ed’s ass. 

 

There was no gentle start, no build-up. After a few moments to adjust, Stede began a pace that rivaled a jackhammer, driving his cock home into Ed over and over again, slamming his hip bones into the edge of the desk and pressing him so far over the desktop that Ed had to rise to the tips of his toes to maintain balance. Every thrust shoved the breath from his lungs so all Ed could do was sob his moans, interspersed with cries for Stede.

 

“Fuck, Edward, you feel exquisite,” the priest moaned above him, one of his hands coming to splay over Ed’s upper back and press him harder into the desk. “So tight around my cock, so perfectly open for me. Can you feel me inside you, Edward? Can you feel me?”

 

Ed whined, shoving himself backward to meet each thrust, tears gathering in his eyes. He wanted a hand on his cock so badly. His body thrummed with his racing pulse, his skin hot all over. Stede thrust into him two, three more times before stilling, spilling hot and wet into Ed’s tight heat. Ed sobbed into his arms. 

 

After a few moments, Stede withdrew, gently pulling his cock from Ed and turning the other man around so that his hips rested against the edge of the desk. Stede sank to his knees in front of Ed, swallowing him down immediately.

 

“Oh fuck , Master, I—” was all Ed could tear from his own throat before he was spilling down Stede’s, knees threatening to give out. He learned heavily into the edge of the desk, hips twitching as Stede continued to lick and suck around his cock, gently cleaning him up. 

 

Stede got to his feet once more in front of Ed, cupping his face and pressing gentle kisses to the corners of Ed’s mouth before pressing one final, thorough kiss to his lips. Pulling away, he looked over Ed’s face with a searching gaze, seemingly satisfied with whatever he found, he nodded and laced their fingers together, leading Ed toward their shared bedroom. 

 

“How about a bath, darling? Does that sound alright?”

 

Ed could only nod in response, following Stede’s lead to the master bath. Stede maneuvered him to perch on the counter as he ran the bath, pouring in some number of oils and salts that Ed can’t be bothered to pay attention to—though he doubted he would be able to pay attention even if he wanted to, with the state he was in. The bathroom filled with the soft scent of rose and a hint of vanilla, and suddenly Stede was standing in front of Ed once more, only this time fully nude. 

 

The two men crossed to the tub together, Stede offering Ed balance assistance and ensuring that he was safely sat in the steaming water before he slid in behind him, tugging Ed back to rest against his chest. Ed allowed his eyes to sink shut, his head resting on Stede’s shoulder as Stede pressed kisses into his hair and massaged his muscles. With the combination of Stede’s hands on him and the hot water easing all tension out of his body, Ed drifted in and out of semi-consciousness. 

 

Eventually, his mind cleared and he became aware of Stede rubbing the bar of lavender soap gently but firmly over his chest and stomach. Pushing himself to sit up more, Ed turned his head to meet Stede’s gaze.

 

“Hello darling, welcome back,” he said, a small smile on his face. “How do you feel?”

 

“Er,” Ed croaked, his throat thick. “Good. I feel—good. Well-fucked.”

 

Stede bursted out with a laugh that clearly erupted from the deepest part of his stomach, loud and hearty. It occurred suddenly to Ed that he was sharing a bath with the most beautiful man he had ever known and he loved him.

 

Oh. He loved him. 

 

Not an hour and a half prior, the man had had Ed bent fully over his own desk as he beat his ass black and blue, and here Ed was, thinking about how he loved him. Now that would send his father into a mental ward. There was an idea. 

 

“Ed?” Stede’s brow was furrowed and he looked vaguely concerned. Ed had no idea how long he’d been quiet, sitting with his new realization. He cleared his throat.

 

“Sorry, dunno where I went off to,” he muttered.

 

“Still a bit floaty then?” Floaty? Fuck, he loved him. “That’s alright, sweet boy, we’ll head to an early bedtime after this anyway.”

 

Stede washed his hair for him, taking his time to dig into his scalp and massage thick conditioner into his curls. When they got out, he bundled Ed into a large, fluffy towel and pressed more kisses to his clean skin, before herding him into the bedroom and wrapping him into Stede’s own silk pajamas. The material ghosted over the sensitive skin of Ed’s ass and Stede startled.

 

“Oh, damn, I’m sorry, Ed, I meant to put some aloe on you before we go to sleep. Here, can you bend over the bed for me? I’ll be quick, I promise.” Stede returned to the bathroom, and Ed sighed, tugging the silk back down below the swell of his ass and bending obediently over the bed. 

 

“You are truly ethereal, Edward,” came Stede’s voice from behind him. “Such a masterpiece, especially like this—so vulnerable for me. I’m awed by you, darling.” 

 

The aloe was cool against his flushed skin and Ed let out a soft whimper as Stede massaged the lotion in, hushing him. He was gentle but thorough, coating up to Ed’s lower back and down to mid-thigh, taking care to be attentive to every inch of Ed’s abused skin. When he was satisfied, he slid the silk pants back up over Ed’s hips and ass, guiding Ed up onto the bed to lay on his stomach. Stede turned off the light and joined him in the bed, situating himself so that he could pull Ed in and allow the dark-haired man to rest his head on Stede’s own broad chest. 

 

“Is that what you wanted from me tonight?” Stede asked quietly, stroking Ed’s hair. “Did I do everything the way you hoped I would?”

 

Ed nodded against the man’s chest. “You were perfect, Stede, thank you. That’s exactly what I wanted.”

 

Stede pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

 

Ed scoffed. “Think that was the point, mate. Wanted a little hurt.”

 

“Right, but I didn’t hurt you badly , right?”

 

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

 

“Edward.” Stede pulled away to look down at Ed’s face. “That isn’t funny. I’m not trying to see what you can or can’t handle—I have no doubts of your abilities or resilience.”

 

“No, no,” Ed sighed. “I know. It was good, I swear. Could even be harder, next time.”

 

Stede hummed. “Could I?”

 

With a shiver, Ed pressed a kiss into Stede’s chest. “ Fuck , yes, Stede. Turn me black and blue. Wanna feel you for days. ”

 

“Alright, alright,” Stede conceded. “We’ll see.”

 

“Can’t wait,” Ed replied with a small chuckle, burying his face back into Stede’s chest and curling his arms tightly around him. It’s incredible to consider how much has changed between the two men since Ed came to stay with Stede—not the least of which being his earlier realization. Surrounded by the smell of Stede and the comfort of their shared bed, Ed drifted off to sleep. 

*******

“So you’re together now, yes?” Lucy cocked an eyebrow at the two men sitting before her and Ed felt his face flush. Sure, she had sussed the two of them out before they had really sorted themselves out, but it was still a new experience to hear them called on it in public.

 

“Don’t embarrass him, Lucy,” Stede scolded, a laugh in his voice. “I won’t stand for it.”

 

“Hey, I’m fine!” Ed protested. “I’m not ashamed.”

 

“Who said anything about being ashamed? Now I feel I may have to intervene,” Lucy leaned onto their table, getting close to Ed’s face. “It’s my job to protect him, after all.”

 

Ed gaped at Lucy before turning to Stede. “Stede, help me out here, I’m begging.”

 

“That’s not what begging looks like on you, I’m afraid,” Stede responded calmly, smearing marmalade onto his toast.

 

He felt his face flush even darker as Lucy cackled above him, tossing her head back and howling with joy so loudly that Petal peered around the doorway of the kitchen, eyebrow cocked in question.

 

“Oh, Ed,” Lucy panted, wiping her eyes. “You are perfect for him.”

 

And sure, Ed may have been telling himself that, but to hear someone who had known Stede as long as Lucy had confirm it to him sent a pang of something through his heart. He watched the two of them continue to chat, the easy way Stede laughed with her and the animated way she engaged with him, and Ed realized that he had never really had a comfortable, easy relationship the way the two of them did. Some part of him cringed with the realization, but a different part, a part that had only become active very recently, allowed the tiniest spark of hope to alight.

 

“Ed?” Lucy was looking at him, eyebrows raised.

 

“Er, sorry, zoned out a bit. What’d you say?”

 

“She asked if we wanted to come for dinner sometime next week,” Stede responded, looking intensely at Ed. “If you’d like to, we just have to figure out what night works.”

 

“Oh,” Ed said, surprised. “That…that sounds really nice, yeah, I’d love to.” 

 

“Great!” Lucy clapped her hands together and looked away as a family walked into the diner. “I’ll text you, Father, and we can figure out logistics. In the meantime, enjoy your breakfasts!” She bustled away, greeting the new family and situating them at a table, chatting and laughing with them. 

 

“Are you alright, Ed? You keep seeming to zone in and out,” Stede glanced up at him but didn’t stare too intensely and Ed took a breath, taking stock of his own thoughts before answering.

 

“I’m still getting used to being comfortable and content and… myself, all the time. Sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed by how good it all is, that’s all,” he murmured, pushing the eggs on his plate around with his fork. 

 

A soft touch on the back of his hand and suddenly Stede’s hand was covering his own. “Ed,” he said softly, and Ed looked up to meet his gaze. “I will do everything in my power to keep it that way. You deserve happiness, darling, and healing.”

 

Ed scoffed, blinking away the sudden sting in his eyes. “Gotta go back at some point though, don’t I?”

 

“Do you?” Stede countered, and Ed recoiled.

 

“ What? ”

 

“It’s just that you’re an adult, Ed,” Stede shrugged. “You have your own autonomy, your own life, and legally, no one can tell you what to do with it. If you don’t want to go back, then you don’t have to.”

 

“Stede,” Ed laughed, incredulous. “Where the fuck else am I gonna go, mate?”

 

Stede looked at him for a long moment, emotions passing over his face like a storm before he seemed to steel himself and looked back down at his food. “Anywhere you want, Edward. That’s the joy of being an autonomous adult: you can go anywhere you like.”

 

“I don’t have anywhere to stay.”

 

“Well, your current bed isn’t going anywhere.” Stede looked back up at him, brow furrowed. “Neither is your current kitchen, your current bathroom, your current wardrobe, or—“ He cut himself off, taking a breath. “You don’t have to stay with me, Ed, obviously. You deserve to be able to explore the world and figure out where exactly you want to be where you can flourish and thrive. But… just know that you can , if you wanted.” Looking back up at Ed, Ed sees a new sort of vulnerability in the man before him. “My home will be yours for as long as you want it to be, and even after you don’t anymore, my door will remain open to you. That’s all.”

 

The weight of this proclamation hit Ed like a brick house, knocking the wind from his lungs and sending him reeling. Stede, sat in front of him and barely meeting his eyes, was offering his home to Ed for, what, the next year? The next five? As long as you want it to be . What if he wanted it forever?

 

“Stede,” he said. “I—thank you. For everything you’ve done and are continuing to do for me.” Taking a leaf out of Stede’s own book, he reached across the table and took the other man's hand in his, linking their fingers together. “I just don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

 

“Your welcome will never expire,” Stede responded fiercely. “Never.”

 

Ed squeezed his hand but had no reply, instead moving his other hand to continue eating. Stede kept their hands linked for the rest of breakfast.

*******

“I want you to fuck me.”

 

Ed choked on his water, spitting it across the kitchen and coughing as he tried to focus on Stede. “You—what?”

 

“I want you to fuck me,” Stede repeated. 

 

“We fuck all the time!”

 

“Right, I fuck you . I want you to fuck me ,” Stede explained, voice annoyingly calm. “Nothing fancy, just a normal, run of the mill fuck.”

 

Ed gaped at the other man across the kitchen, unsure of how to respond through the plague of thoughts blowing through his mind. It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it, obviously, but to have Stede in front of him asking was a whole different story. He swallowed and attempted to gather his thoughts.

 

“It’s…it’s alright if you don’t want to, Ed,” Stede finally said, voice barely audible over the rushing in Ed’s ears. “I would never ask you to do something you aren’t—“

 

“Fucking christ , Stede, no, God,” Ed rushed to cut him off, setting his glass of water on the counter behind him and crossing the kitchen in a matter of steps. “That’s not— Jesus , Stede, that’s not it at all. It was just unexpected, that’s all. Not particularly a conversation I foresaw happening in our kitchen.”

 

One corner of Stede’s mouth ticked up. “Our kitchen?”

 

Ed felt himself blush. “ Your kitchen, whatever, that’s not the point.” He took a breath. “Stede, I would be… ecstatic to do that for you. Really.”

 

Stede appeared to relax, the tension easing slightly from the set of his shoulders. “Yeah?”

 

“ God , yes,” Ed breathed, leaning forward to close the space between them and press a firm kiss to Stede’s lips. Stede’s hands came to rest at Ed’s waist, Ed’s hands cupping Stede’s cheeks. Their mouths moved together easily and Ed took the opportunity to nip gently at Stede’s lower lip before pulling away. “Now? Please say now.”

 

Stede chuckled, slightly breathless. “God, yes, now.”

 

Grabbing Stede’s hand and lacing their fingers together, Ed started toward the bedroom, dragging Stede in tow. As much as he adored getting fucked, his excitement to be inside of Stede was almost impossible to handle. The fact that both men made it to the bedroom without running into any walls or doors was a miracle in and of itself. 

 

Once in the bedroom, Ed spun to drag Stede into another hard kiss.

 

“Clothes,” he muttered against his lips. “Off now, please.” He tore himself away from Stede’s mouth to strip himself, a pang of regret stabbing through his stomach for the moment he had to look away from Stede to get his own shirt over his head.

 

If there’s one thing Ed would never tire of, it was watching Stede undress. The man did nothing without intent, and to see him painstakingly rid himself of each article of clothing only to fold each piece and set it carefully aside did things to Ed’s insides. He felt like singing.

 

Both naked, Ed walked Stede backward to sit him on the bed. Laying him back and settling over him, Ed brought their mouths together once more as he allowed gentle hands to explore the miles of hot, bare skin under him. Pressed together as they were, Ed could feel every change in Stede’s breathing and the way his heart beat faster against his own skin. Their cocks pressed together between them, Stede letting out soft hums against Ed’s mouth, and the heat of one another’s skin, and Ed thought he may be ready to explode. 

 

“How do you want it?” He asked, pulling back just enough to clearly see Stede. 

 

“Just like this,” Stede replied, a bit breathless. 

 

With a soft moan, Ed reconnected their mouths, raking his fingers through golden waves. Stede’s hands trailed over his bare back, touches soft and barely there, sending chills up and down Ed’s back. Kissing Stede was a symphony. A masterpiece fit for kings, not lowly creatures like Ed. There must be a god because nothing else could explain the existence of the pure heaven that was Stede Bonnet. 

 

Ed pulled away, leaning over to his side table and digging out their lube, setting it on the bed to them. He situated himself between Stede’s legs, running his hands up and down the other man’s strong thighs and thumbing at his hip bones, admiring the rise and fall of his broad chest. He drizzled lube over his fingers, rubbing some directly over Stede’s hole and jolting a gasp from the man below him. 

 

“Relax for me, love,” he murmured. Stede nodded, tensing his jaw and taking a few steadying breaths. Returning his non-lube covered hand to laving attention on Stede’s thigh, Ed added pressure to Stede’s hole, keeping a close eye on his face to pick up on any less-than-pleased reactions.

 

And Stede was beautiful. Ed pressed one finger in to the webbing and Stede’s head fell back against the pillows, his breath coming faster. His mouth sat slightly agape as he stared at the ceiling. Ed took his time, stretching lightly at Stede’s rim and crooking his finger inside him, stroking along his walls. He was so very tight, Ed was going to lose his mind.

 

He added a second finger, scissoring and stretching, and tore his eyes from Stede’s face to look down at where they were joined—where he was inside of Stede . His cock throbbed and he let out a soft groan. This was going to be the death of him.

 

By the fourth finger, Stede was rocking his hips back into Ed’s hand, panting and whimpering, his cock leaking onto his stomach and jerking with every twist of Ed’s fingers. When he finally couldn’t stand waiting any longer, Ed poured more lube into his palm, slicking himself up and hissing quietly at the cool gel. 

 

“Ready, Stede?” He asked quietly, shifting to line himself up. He met Stede’s heavy-lidded gaze and waited for the man to nod before he began slowly pushing in, letting out a sharp sigh as the head of his cock popped past Stede’s rim.

 

“Oh, fuck ,” Stede sighed, spreading his legs farther apart. “Oh, you feel… Ed, fuck.”

 

Ed chuckled breathlessly, continuing the steady slide into Stede’s tight heat. He drove his hips forward until they were flush against Stede’s before dropping down to press more kisses to the other man’s face and lips. He busied himself covering every inch of Stede’s face with small kisses as he waited for him to adjust to the girth of him.

 

Finally, Stede sighed shakily. “Okay, I— I think I’m good. Ready.”

 

“You sure? We don’t have to rush,” Ed murmured. “We’re not in a hurry.”

 

“Fuck, Ed, please move!” 

 

“Okay, okay!” Ed swiveled his hips in a small circle, drawing out of Stede before thrusting back in and driving a whimper from Stede’s throat. He laced their fingers together above Stede’s head, leaning on their joined hands for leverage to fuck into Stede as deeply as he could. 

 

The little noises coming from Stede had Ed right on the edge significantly faster than he was prepared for. With each thrust, Stede let out a tiny grunt or groan, serenading Ed with exclamations of pleasure. He was so tight and so responsive, Ed was on top of the world.

 

“Shit, Stede, I’m close,” he panted.

 

“Me— fuck , me too,” Stede said in reply. Ed could feel Stede’s cock weeping where it was pressed between them and that physical reminder of what he was doing to Stede—how he was making Stede feel —was enough to send him careening over the edge, spilling into Stede with a soft gasp.

 

But the moment Stede came, tightening around Ed, was an ethereal experience. It was unlike anything he’d ever felt before, like it was his first time having sex—his first time making love. 

 

The two men lay there, catching their breath and sharing each other’s space, heart rates slowing. It was as if the entire world had stopped: nothing existed outside of their bed, outside of one another’s embrace. When Ed finally withdrew from Stede’s body, reaching for his shirt and wiping them both down, he did so slowly as to not rupture their bubble of peace. He tossed the shirt back to the floor, nestling back up to Stede and linking their fingers once more.

 

“Thank you,” Stede finally said, voice barely more than a whisper. “That was everything I wanted. And more.”

 

Ed snorted. “Don’t thank me for fucking you, mate, that’s weird.”

 

Stede hummed. “No, I mean it. Thank you. I haven’t… I haven’t done that.”

 

Ed gaped, pulling away to stare at Stede. “You… haven’t bottomed?” Stede shook his head. “What the fuck do you mean?”

 

“I just haven’t. It was a bit taboo, when I was young.”

 

“But fucking other men in the ass isn’t?”

 

Stede rolled his eyes. “It’s conceptually different. The idea of being the man or the woman, et cetera.”

 

Ed stared at Stede blankly. “We’re both men, mate. Two cocks and two prostates right here. Don’t really think there’s anything up for debate about one of us being a woman.”

 

Stede sighed, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind Ed’s ear and smiling sadly. “Doesn’t matter. It was silly. Just a lingering inhibition from my father, I suppose.”

 

Ed propped his head on his hand, hoping to prompt Stede to say more. They didn’t often talk about their fathers.

 

“When he found out I was gay,” Stede began. “He wasn’t thrilled. For obvious reasons. He took his frustrations out… rather physically. And afterwards, he had a warning that if he ever found me bent over for some man, that he would make sure I never forgot the repercussions he would inflict on me. I guess it stuck.”

 

Ed stared at Stede, his mouth hanging ajar. Sometimes he forgot that gentle, loving Stede was the product of someone so vile and nasty. It seemed impossible that someone so very good could survive someone so incredibly horrible. Stede didn’t meet Ed’s gaze, instead flicking between the ceiling and their still linked hands. 

 

“Stede,” Ed breathed. “Mate, that’s fucking horrific. You didn’t deserve that.”

 

Stede took a sharp breath and nodded. “I know. I was a kid.”

 

“You wouldn’t even deserve it now, Stede, even as an adult. You deserve so much better.”

 

“I could say the same to you,” he replied, finally meeting Ed’s eyes and raising a challenging eyebrow.

 

Ed rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, we have each other now. So we’re fine.” He grinned at Stede, squeezing his hand. 

 

Stede smiled back. “Yeah,” he whispered. “We’re fine.”

Notes:

I AM SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG!!!! i’ve been busy and unmotivated and that’s totally on me. not much happens this chapter bc you each deserve just some good ole porn for how long i made you wait<3

Chapter 6: Patience

Summary:

They try something new.

CW: sounding— it can be avoided if you skip the sections that are written in bold font!!

Notes:

again, this chapter contains sounding but nothing super important to the plot happens during the sections that focus on sounding. you can skip the bold sections and not miss anything except the insertion and the removal :)

Stede eyed Ed, standing in their closet.

 

“I really don’t think they’re going to judge you regardless of what you’re wearing to dinner, Ed,” he sighed from the bed. “It’s just Lucy and Petal.”

 

“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly cornering the market on gay fuckin’ fashion, Stede,” Ed growled, throwing another shirt on the floor behind him.

 

Stede tsked. “That’s not even your shirt!”

 

“You deserved it!”

 

With an aggrieved sigh, Stede pulled himself off the bed and crossed the room to Ed, wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder.

 

“Darling, what is this about? I know it’s not the clothes.”

 

Ed sighed and allowed himself to lean backward into Stede’s warmth, laying his own arms atop Stede’s. “Just wanna make a good impression s’all,” he muttered.

 

“They’ve met you multiple times now, beloved,” Stede replied, pressing a kiss to the side of Ed’s jaw. “No impression-making left to do.”

 

“Right but that’s been in public , Stede, this is them inviting me into their home! I don’t want to ruin anything, what if I break something?”

 

“Edward!” Stede spun him so they were face to face. “You have got to stop this ridiculous notion that you ruin things you touch! Have you ruined me?”

 

Ed recoiled. “What the fuck, Stede?”

 

Stede quirked an eyebrow, as if to say well?

 

“Fuckin’, no, mate, you’re— you’re too good to be ruined, can’t do that shit, c’mon, jesus!”  

 

“Alright well, I hate to break it to you, but you touch me quite frequently and if I’m not ruined then I don’t think you ruin things you touch. You certainly don’t break them. If anything,” Stede smirked, “ I break you.”

 

Ed felt himself flush all the way down to his toes and he looked away from Stede, who leaned in to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

 

“Okay?” He asked softly, brushing Ed’s hair back from his face. “You hear me?”

 

“Yeah, mate, I hear you,” Ed replied, leaning his face into Stede’s touch. “Loud and clear.”

 

Stede’s responding grin was enough for Ed to roll his eyes but concede the argument for the day. He grabbed one of his button downs and pulled it on, allowing Stede to take over doing up the buttons for him. Once fully clothed, Stede tugged Ed behind him out the bedroom door.

 

“Do you need something to take your mind off of tonight?” He asked over his shoulder. “I have a proposition for you, if so.”

 

Ed took a moment to consider but the jolt of his cock trapped in the confines of his jeans appeared to make the decision for him. “What exactly d’you have in mind?”

 

“Want to play?”

 

Ed gulped. They had hours before they needed to be at Lucy and Petal’s, so plenty of time to play and Ed was never one to turn down Stede’s hands on him in any capacity. When Stede turned to meet his eye, Ed nodded. 

 

Following Stede out to the chapel in the yard always instilled a series of anticipatory knots in Ed’s stomach. Stede’s entire demeanor changed the moment they crossed the threshold into the cool chapel and Ed felt himself shudder as the other man turned to face him, caressing his face and pressing a sweet kiss to his mouth. A soft hum made its way up to Ed’s throat through his chest as he leaned into Stede, soaking in his warmth. 

 

“Want to be caged, darling?”

 

Ed couldn’t hold back a whine. “Please.”

 

“Please…?”

 

“Father, please, I want to be caged, Father Bonnet,” Ed’s voice pitched up, cracked and desperate. “ Please. ”

 

Stede hushed him, smoothing his hair back from his face. “Can you strip for me, love?”

 

No matter how  many times they went through this, Ed got a sharp thrill of excitement whenever Stede asked him to be so vulnerable in his presence. Disrobed and bare, Ed stood in front of Stede, facing the altar and avoiding eye contact with the crucifix hanging there, feeling Stede’s eyes running up and down his form. 

 

“Oh, Edward,” Stede breathed, trailing a hand up his sternum to caress his throat. “You are beautiful. I am so grateful that you give yourself to me like this.” He squeezed Ed’s throat lightly, before placing a firm hand on his shoulder and guiding him to kneel at the altar, tilting his head up to fix on the suspended crucifix. “Behave.”

 

Ed shivered, his knees pressing into the cold stone of the altar step. He kept his eyes fixated above the altar, listening to Stede’s steps fade through the door behind it. He concentrated on the steady inhale, exhale of his breathing and the dull pressure of his knees. He could hear Stede moving in the back room but did his best not to dwell on it, choosing instead to keep himself grounded in his anticipation, waiting for Stede to come back.

 

He listened to Stede’s steps as the man returned, ghosting fingertips over Ed’s shoulders. 

 

“You’re so good for me, darling,” he spoke softly, carding his fingers through Ed’s curls. “So patient, waiting so beautifully.”

 

Stede trailed his fingers over Ed’s bare skin, goosebumps erupting in their wake. He crouched in front of Ed and cool metal encased Ed’s cock, shocking a ragged gasp from his throat. The cage closed with a snick , and Stede pressed a kiss to Ed’s mouth.

 

“Feeling okay, darling?” He asked quietly, searching Ed’s face with his eyes. “Not uncomfortable, is it?”

 

Ed shook his head. “No, feels okay. Thank you, Father.”

 

Stede eyed him, considering.

“Alright,” Stede said slowly, considering. “There’s another part to this specific cage, if you’re interested.”

 

Ed was nodding before Stede even finished his sentence. “Yes, please, Father, whatever you want to give me, please.”

 

Stede hushed him again. “You can say no, Ed. Have you ever worn a urethral sound?”

 

It was like Stede had held a live wire to Ed’s skin, the way electricity shot through him. He swallowed. “No, Father, I—I haven’t.”

 

Reaching behind Ed, Stede picked up a steel tube. He trailed his other hand over Ed’s caged cock. “This circle on the front here is made for this to screw into. It’ll hold it in place for as long as we leave it in. We’ll have to take it out for you to use the restroom, obviously, but otherwise we won’t touch it.” He tilted Ed’s chin up, meeting his wide-eyed gaze. “Do you want it?”

 

Ed nodded, his blood singing and his head still spinning.

 

“How do you ask me, Edward?” Stede kept his hand on Ed’s chin, swiping his thumb over his jaw.

 

“Please, Father, I want—I want the sound,” Ed’s voice had dipped impossibly low. Everything felt surreal, like any moment Ed was going to wake up back on the floor of his apartment, alone and in pain. 

 

Hesitating one more moment, searching gaze flicking over every inch of Ed’s face, Stede nodded, pulling a small bottle of lube out of his pocket and clicking it open, slicking up the metal. He glanced up at Ed, placing the tip of the sound at the opening of the cage. Ed fixed his eyes on the sparkling steel, breath picking up in his chest. 

 

“Take a deep breath, Ed,” Stede commanded. Ed did, inhaling deeply. On the slow exhale, the cool steel met the tip of his cock, pushing gently in. The rest of his breath left his lungs in a burst as the rod breached the tip of his cock, sliding in slowly until the notched end of the rod met the cage, where Stede screwed it in.

 

It was a sensation unlike any Ed had ever felt. He was so full, impossibly so. He loved it.

 

“Alright, darling,” Stede breathed, guiding Ed to his feet and cupping his jaw. “Get dressed for me and then we’ll go to dinner, alright? You tell me the moment it gets to be too much and we’ll leave. You just say the word.”

 

Ed didn’t plan on cutting this short even for a moment. He nodded anyway. “Yes, Father.”

*******

 

Dinner with Lucy and Petal was a roaring success. Though slightly standoffish, Petal proved to be a better conversationalist in the comfort of her own home and even offered to teach Ed how to make her vegan apple crumble. While Stede and Petal disappeared into the kitchen after dinner, Lucy found Ed touring their library, running his fingers over the spines lined up in the bookshelves. 

 

“See one you’re interested in?”

 

Ed startled at the voice behind him, his hand snapping back to his side like a child caught touching something breakable. “Hm? Just looking. You have… quite the selection.”

 

Lucy tsked at him. “You can touch all you like, they won’t break. Meant to be loved on, aren’t they?”

 

Shrugging sheepishly, Ed looked back to the shelves. “What kinds of books are they?”

 

“All kinds,” Lucy replied, crossing over and standing next to him. “All with queer themes of some sort—I collect novels, Petal’s privy to poetry, and some are just queer histories. There are a few queer theology books Stede gifted us as well.” Ed nodded, brushing his finger over some of the titles at his eye level. “You’re good for him,” Lucy stated.

 

“What?” Ed turned to face her again. 

 

She shrugged. “You’re good for him. He’s very relaxed around you.”

 

Ed scoffed. “He’s relaxed around everyone.”

 

Shaking her head, Lucy rolled her eyes. “Not like this, Ed, trust me. We’ve known that man forever and you are the best thing that’s happened to him in years—maybe ever. And it shows.”

 

“Well—” Ed started but cut himself off, shaking his head. “He’s a good man. He’s been very kind to me.”

 

Lucy hummed. “He loves you.”

 

Ed coughed, pounding himself on the chest. “Er, I don’t really think—”

 

“He loves you, you idiot,” Lucy said. “I’ve never seen that man like this over anyone. He loves you, whether you want to see it or not, I don’t care, but Ed?”

 

He looked at her, feeling a soft blush spreading over his face.

 

“You be good to that man, so help me god.” 

 

He nodded and opened his mouth to respond when Stede’s voice floated through the door. 

 

“Where did they— oh , there you went!” He appeared in the doorway, a soft grin on his face, his golden waves pushed back off of his forehead. His brow furrowed just barely at whatever expression Ed knew was on his own face, and Ed gave him a weak smile. Stede crossed the room and wrapped a strong arm around Ed’s waist. “Everything alright?” He asked softly. 

 

Ed offered him another smile, stronger this time. “Everything’s fine. Lucy was telling me you gifted them theology books—what a gay gift.”

 

Stede threw a dramatic hand across his forehead. “How dare you?”

 

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Oh, fuck off, the both of you.”

 

With matching snickers, Ed and Stede followed Lucy back out to the foyer, where Petal greeted her with an arm around her shoulders and a kiss pressed to her temple. 

 

“Lucy, Petal, really, thank you for having us,” Stede said to the two women, pulling them both in for a hug. “Next time we’ll have you to ours.”

 

Ours. Ed could hear the blood rushing in his ears, drowning out the rest of the conversation. Ours. If they didn’t make it out the door soon, Ed was going to drop to his knees here in the middle of Lucy and Petal’s foyer, and wouldn’t that just be humiliating?

 

“Edward.” Stede sounded concerned.

 

“Sorry! M’just exhausted, long day,” Ed said, but Stede’s brow only furrowed. “Dinner was delicious, Petal, thank you.”

 

She waved him off, and the wives followed Ed and Stede to the porch, waving as they climbed into Stede’s truck and left the driveway.

 

“Okay, are you alright? I can pull off and we can get you out of the cage, Ed, I just need to know,” Stede said, eyes flicking between the road and Ed’s face.

 

“I wanna suck you off,” Ed breathed. The truck swerved.

 

“You—what?”

 

“I want to suck you off. Right now.” Ed slid the chest strap of his seatbelt behind his back, leaning over and kissing Stede’s jaw. “Can I? Please, Master? ”

 

Stede swore. “If you suck me off while I’m driving then the cage is staying on overnight.”

 

“Fine, I can live with that.”

 

Stede gaped at him. “What? Really?”

 

With a nod, Ed started fumbling with the button of Stede’s slacks, maneuvering his waistband below his balls and stroking his cock firmly. His own cock throbbed where it lay restrained in the metal of his cage, the sound still embedded. Even the motion of leaning over to seal his mouth around Stede’s cock was enough to send sparks through Ed’s body. It was  incredible. It was overwhelming. He took Stede’s cock down as deep as he could manage, swallowing around it.

 

“Ed, fuck , your mouth,” Stede panted, burying one hand in Ed’s long curls and pressing Ed down, down, until his nose was buried in the curls at the base of Stede’s cock. “Oh, darling, you’re incredible.”

 

Ed moaned around the throbbing cock in his throat, feeling himself drool down Stede’s shaft as the man bucked up into the wet heat of his mouth. He swallowed around Stede’s cock a few more times, struggling to take in air, until Stede spilled hotly down his throat. Licking and sucking the remainder of any mess from Stede’s cock, Ed pulled off and tucked it away, closing Stede’s pants back up and returning to his own seat.

 

“Thank you,” he rasped. Stede flicked his eyes at him before returning them to the road.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Once back in the drive, Stede opened Ed’s door for him and guided him straight back to their shared room, dragging Ed into a fierce kiss, tugging at his hair and nipping at his lip. 

 

“You can’t sleep in the sound, Ed, but you know—“ He broke off, licking into Ed’s mouth again. “You’re sleeping in the cage.”

 

He pulled back, meeting Ed’s eyes and searching them. Ed could see that he was being evaluated, that Stede was making sure he was okay, checking for another approval or acceptance of what he had agreed to by blowing Stede in the car. Ed gave him a nod, a small smile. Stede leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. 

 

“Okay darling, let’s get you ready for bed, hm?”

Stede slid Ed out of his shirt, divested him of his pants, and caressed his caged cock through the thin material of his underwear. 

 

“Oh, you’ve been so good for me tonight, Edward,” he cooed. “So good.”

 

He pulled the waistband of Ed’s underwear below his cock, revealing the cage. He brushed a finger over the cage and the sensitive skin inside. Ed hissed. His cock jerked in the cage, throbbing at the feel of the cage around his cock and the sound within it.

 

“Hush, love, there we are, are you ready?” Stede asked, voice soft. “Words, please.”

 

“Yes,” Ed whispered. “Master, please, Sir, please.”

 

“Here we go,” Stede said softly, taking Ed’s caged cock in hand. He gripped the tip of the sound and, meeting Ed’s eyes, began to unscrew it.

 

Ed could feel the steel twisting inside him, spinning the most intimate area of his body, and there was nothing he could do to restrain the noises escaping his mouth. His body was alight, his nerves open and exposed and grating. The drag of the steel inside his cock felt like he was being undone from the seams, torn apart by intimacy. 

 

It was over both too soon and seemed to go on forever— Ed ached in the best ways. Stede settled the steel rod on the bedside table, coming to cup Ed’s face.

“Darling?”

 

Ed blinked. “Yes, Master?”

 

“Ready for bed?” 

 

Ed’s cock throb, his slit ached, the inside of his cock felt empty. He nodded.

 

“Alright sweetheart, let’s get some sleep.”

Notes:

as always thank you for reading :))

 

i have to be honest i just have not been super deep in the writing mode recently because there’s been a lot going on in my life but bear with me, i swear we’re going to get there!!!

 

as per usual you can come find me on twitter (@pluviophiliced) or tumblr (@pluviophilicas) if you ever want to chat<3

Chapter 7: Saved

Summary:

ed gets an unexpected visitor. the household gets a new addition.

Notes:

this is a rough chapter, please don’t be mad at me. tw & cw for partway through—no explicit violence or anything like that, but implications/references to homophobia. this chapter deals with ptsd and anxiety. PLEASE be mindful before reading. the parts that can be skipped are in bold, with a brief summary in the end notes.

All good things must come to an end, dear reader, for that is how we learn to cherish the tragedy of being alive.

 

It was a Monday morning, exactly seven weeks and three days after Ed and Stede first  became acquainted. There was business for Stede to attend to somewhere out of town—a situation that had not arisen yet in their acquaintanceship.

 

“—and I might have the child with me when I come back, I’m not sure yet,” Stede said, shoving a jumper that blatantly belonged to Ed into his bag. “It’ll depend on whether or not the child needs emergency placement or not. And we should probably get you approved legally so that we can keep taking in kids when they need it.”

 

He moved around the room in a rush, disappearing into the bathroom and reappearing with his toiletries bag, shoving it into his bag. He finally turned to face Ed.

 

“I shouldn’t be gone more than two days,” he said, coming to stand in front of Ed and cupping his face. “But I’ll keep you updated, sound good?” Ed nodded, following Stede to the front door.

 

“Drive safe, okay?” Ed said, leaning against the door frame. “See you in a few days.”

 

Stede turned, bringing their mouths together. Ed inhaled the smell of Stede, brought his hands up to cup the priest’s face, knotting his fingers in his hair. He was so solid and warm under Ed’s touch, a living and breathing angel of a man.

 

“I have my phone,” Stede murmured against Ed’s mouth. “Call if you miss me.”

 

Ed chuckled softly. “I miss you every moment you aren’t by my side.”

 

With a sharp inhale and another glance over Ed’s face, Stede nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat of his truck. Ed stood on the porch until the truck disappeared down the drive, covered by trees, and the sound of the engine completely faded from the air. Already the area was too quiet, too still. Stede’s property without Stede was…the equivalent of a church without a cross: empty in a gutting way.

 

He spent the remainder of the morning checking in on the animals, taking his time finishing up the chores for the day. The house felt large and empty, cold in the lack of Stede’s presence. While Ed had always been a fan of having time to himself, he hadn’t realized quite how much he’d been enjoying spending his time with Stede. Sure, he’d recognized that he loved the other man and clearly he enjoyed living with him, but to this extent? He hadn’t known love like this existed—let alone that he would have been able to find it. And at the hands of a priest, no less.

 

There was laundry to be done and general house cleaning to do as well, so Ed kept himself busy. After switching the laundry from the washer to the dryer, he made himself a pot of tea and settled into the couch, pulling one of Stede’s fluffy blankets around his shoulders, reveling in the soft brush of the fabric against his skin. A soft caress, almost reminiscent of the sweet ways Stede usually held him. Ed sighed, snuggled into the pillows. His phone remained silent on the coffee table. He closed his eyes.

 

It was a knock at the front door that woke Ed from his nap. The tea had gone cold on the coffee table. It took him a moment to register the knocking and he dragged himself to his feet, tugging the blanket tighter around his shoulders. 

 

Nothing could have prepared Ed to wrench the door open and come face to face with his father.

 

He straightened up, drawing the blanket as close around his shoulders as he could, sucking in a breath. The man on the porch eyed him up and down, crossing his arms.

 

“Edward.” Just that one word was enough to send tremors down Ed’s spine, the dregs of panic beginning to stir up in his stomach. “You seem…well.”

 

Ed swallowed hard, willing himself to stay standing. “I—I am. Doing well. That is.”

 

The older man’s lips pursed and his brow furrowed. “I see. Where’s the Father?”

 

Ed inhaled sharply. “He’s out. On…priest, things.” He gulped. “You know how it is.”

 

His father arched a brow. “Hm. Aren’t you going to invite me in? Or are your manners somehow worse than when I left you?”

 

“Sorry, Dad, it’s just that—“

 

“Excuses already? This is a new low, even for you, Edward.” He shoulders past Ed and into the house, taking in the entranceway with a smirk. “Nice place.”

 

“Yes, well—“

 

“Don’t interrupt me.” He snapped over his shoulder. “It’s modest. Good for a priest, I suppose.” He spun, facing Ed once more. “But how are you, my son? All better yet?”

 

Ed tensed. “I wouldn’t say—“

 

His father scoffed. “You shouldn’t be saying shit, should you now? Perhaps if you weren’t a thirty-one year old boy who needs supervision at all times but, alas…”

 

And then there was  a silence. Somewhere inside of Ed, a storm raged. Anxiety warred with anger, leaving gauge marks and bruises inside of Ed’s ribcage, somewhere it was still going to hurt long after his father had gone home.

 

“It’s interesting to me that he would trust you to be here alone, given how he knows of your…shortcomings.” His father tsked, casting another look around the entranceway. “To each their own, I suppose.”

 

Ed stayed silent. His pulse was pounding in his ears, loud enough that he could see his father’s mouth moving but could not hear a word the man said. His skin itched, crawled, threatened to burn at the proximity of his father—his father who had stolen his life from him. Had forced him into a religion with which he had no affiliation, forced him into a life in which he existed in the background, in closet after closet. His father who had trapped his mother and himself into an endless cycle of horrors, and— fuck , that’s—

 

“How’s Mom?” Ed rasped. Did he want to know? It’d only been a few months…

 

“Fine. The usual.” His father continued to look around the entranceway. “She’s taking some time for her mental health these days. I keep telling her if she’d just spend a little more time with God…”

 

The rushing in Ed’s ears reached a maximum, drowning out whatever other inane nonsense spewed from his father’s mouth. Everything ached. He wished Stede was there. He longed for Stede to be standing next to him, helping him fend off his father. If there was anyone the man would listen to, it was Stede— Father Bonnet. Ed felt light-headed. His limbs felt like lead, his breath getting caught somewhere behind his ribcage. It had been so long since he’d been faced with his father it was like his body had forgotten how to withstand it. He sucked in a heavy breath.

 

“Dad,” he cut him off, flat in the middle of whatever asinine sentence was next. “Father Bonnet is not here. I’m sure you can visit again once he’s back. He’d love to have you and talk about my progress. I can’t give you any of that information without him here.”

 

His father stood in the doorway, appraising him, looking him up and down with a furrowed brow. Ed shook where he stood, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides beneath his crossed arms. It seemed as if the world was underwater, everything moving in slow motion. He tried to breathe slowly in through his nose. 

 

It didn’t work.

 

After an eternity, his father nodded. “Fuckin’ useless to chat with you if he’s not around to validate your story, huh?”

 

Ed swallowed hard. “Seems that way, sir.”

 

And with that, the man was gone. The front door was shut and locked with shaking hands. Ed stood in the entryway, staring at the front door, as he listened to the sound of a car engine fading. 

 

He stood in the same position for what might have been hours. With just Ed in the house, time seemed to stand still. There was no one waiting on him in the kitchen or the living room. There was no one waiting for him in the bedroom, or to do the chores, or to feed the animals, or to run a bath. So, he stood. Shaking, trembling in the entryway. Hands still on the door.

 

Slowly, Ed slid down the door. He buried his face in his hands and wept.

*******

The sun set outside and Ed was bathed in black.

 

His tailbone was numb and his cheeks felt stiff. He sat in silence.

 

The night went on.

*******

Morning dawned, coloring the hall in pinks and golds. Ed’s head was leant back against the front door. His joints ached and the floor was cold beneath him, seeping through his pants and into his bones. He stared ahead into the brightening hallway. He ached.

*******

The well-lit hall only grew brighter as the day went on.

 

Ed had shifted to curl on his side with his back against the door, his cheek pressed against the hard wooden floor. He blinked into the bright hall slowly.

 

The animals needed to be fed.

 

He couldn’t seem to move.

 

A tear rolled sideways across his nose and down his cheek, into his hair. He closed his eyes again.

*******

It was the door suddenly pressing insistently into his spine that finally jolted Ed back into himself. 

 

“Ed? Ed? Ed?” Stede’s frantic voice cut through whatever haze had taken over Ed’s brain. “Edward, are you okay? What’s behind the door? Ed!”

 

Ed pulled himself to a sitting position, his joints aching and his body screaming with every movement. His head pounded against his skull and his stomach roiled. He dropped his head between his knees and tried to breathe.

 

“Ed?” Stede shoved himself through the door. “Edward, darling, hey, what’s going on? Are you alright? What’s happening?”

 

Stede crouched in front of him, Ed’s eyes struggling to focus on him. There was a gentle hand against his cheek and Ed recoiled, flinching away and smacking the back of his head against the open door and letting out a whimper.

 

“Okay,” Stede breathed. “Alright. Hey, hold tight for me, okay? I’ll be right back. He disappeared, the front door opening and shutting a couple times as he walked in and out. 

 

Ed kept his eyes closed against the pounding in his head and the stabbing in his stomach. Whenever he opened his eyes, the world tilted and he only shut them again, so he resolved to keep them closed. There were the sounds of Stede walking around the house, murmuring and talking in a low tone—on the phone, perhaps. Ed didn’t try to listen in. 

 

Suddenly Stede was in front of him again, cupping his face. Ed blinked, trying to clear his vision and focus on Stede. Beautiful, sweet, gentle Stede.

 

“Hey darling, can you stand for me? I’m going to help you up, okay?” Ed hesitated but nodded, allowing Stede to slide his arms around his torso, doing to his best to help, but barely supporting himself. “Okay, that’s okay, lean on me, love. It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re good, huh? The best.”

 

Ed made a soft noise in his throat and Stede pressed a light kiss to his temple. The priest helped guide him toward their room.

 

“Alright, I’m going to let you lean against the wall for just a moment, okay? Gotta get the sheets turned down and everything, yeah?” He let Ed lean his weight against the wall and Ed kept his gaze fixed on Stede. The priest folded down the sheets and duvet that Ed had painstakingly made two days ago, before turning back to Ed. “Here we go, darling, there we are.”

 

Ed nestled into the sheets, inhaling the smell of Stede, breathing in the scents of home and burying himself as deep as he could. As if he could sense it, Stede reached for the blanket at the end of the bed—a plush royal purple king size blanket—and tugged it up and around Ed, effectively tucking him in. The gentleness, the kindness lavished over him at Stede’s hand was overwhelming.

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Stede murmured, reaching to swipe at the tears spilling down Ed’s cheeks. “You’re alright, you’re okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, yeah? I’m here, I’m back. Oh, my darling, what happened?”

 

Ed sniffled and Stede climbed onto the bed next to him, pulling him in against his chest. For the first time in the endless last twenty-four-plus hours, Ed felt grounded. Safe. 

 

“My dad showed up,” Ed finally rasped, squeezing his eyes shut. “Came around asking about my progress. I—I couldn’t, I mean—fuck, Stede.” His voice broke.

 

Stede’s hold on him tightened and he felt soft lips against his forehead. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said again. “Oh, Edward, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. I’m so sorry.”

 

Ed shook his head as best he could against Stede’s chest. “S’not your fault, you had to go to th—“ He whipped his head up, jump starting another dizzy spell. “The kid, Stede, is the kid okay? What happened?”

 

The priest hushed him, brushing hair back from his forehead and cupping his jaw. “She’s here, I had to bring her back with me. Which means we need to get you cleared sometime in the next week, ideally, but only after you’re okay, Ed.”

 

Ed blinked. “She’s—here?” Stede nodded. “How old?”

 

“Thirteen.”

 

“Thirteen,” Ed repeated. “So young.”

 

Stede winced. “Not the youngest I’ve had.”

 

The two men fell silent as Ed processed, trying to organize his thoughts. Stede didn’t stop touching him for a moment, the soft skin of his palm warm against Ed’s cheek, Ed’s curls falling forward to cover it. 

 

“Did I scare her? When you came in?” Ed asked softly, not meeting Stede’s gaze.”

 

Stede hesitated. “Er, I think I may have scared her a bit more than you did. You weren’t picking up the phone and I—well. I wasn’t sure if something had happened. I drove twenty-five over the entire way back.”

 

Ed cringed, shifting away from Stede, who only followed him and pulled him tighter against him. 

 

“I was terrified, Ed,” Stede said quietly. “I’ve never—that was new for me.”

 

“I forgot about my phone, I—“

 

Stede hushed him again. “It’s fine, I don’t blame you at all. I can’t imagine how you were feeling, sweetheart, don’t apologize to me for any of this. I was just—I was worried. I was very, very worried.”

 

Ed slumped back into Stede’s chest, letting the other man run his fingers through his hair and massage his scalp. For the first time since he had opened the front door, Ed felt like he was getting enough air in his lungs. The two laid there for what seemed like an eternity, Ed drifting in and out of consciousness to find Stede stoically there, unmovable. Safe. He let himself drift to sleep.

*******

There was a hand around his throat, shoving him into a wall, or a door frame, or a bookcase—he couldn’t tell through the haze of his brain. He scrabbled at the hand around his throat, trying to pry the fingers off of him. It only tightened its grip.

 

“Please—“ He rasped, barely loud enough to be heard. “Please let me go, I’m sorry, please—“

 

“This is what happens to abominations , Edward, abominations don’t get to breathe.”

 

Ed choked as the hand squeezed, shoving him hard against the wall so his head rattled. His fingers glanced off the wrist pinning him down, unable to get a grip enough to pull the arm off of him. 

 

“You’re just fucking pathetic, aren’t you? Just a queer little bitch, can’t even get himself out of a little scuffle. Fucking stand up for yourself, bitch .”

*******

“ Edward!”

 

Ed jolted straight up in bed, his heart pounding a mile a minute, sweat pouring off of him. He gasped, trying to suck in as much air as he could get. 

 

“Hey, there you are,” Stede’s voice floated through Ed’s consciousness. “Hey, Ed, you’re safe, darling, you’re okay. Can I touch you, is that okay?” Ed felt himself nod and then there were arms around him, pulling him backward against a solid torso. “There we go,” Stede murmured softly. “There we are.”

 

He was trembling, he noticed, wrapped up in Stede’s arms. The room was dark, the sky only just starting to lighten. Stede’s breath ghosted over his ear and the side of his neck. 

 

“You were crying out,” Stede said quietly. “Sorry for waking you.”

 

Ed shook his head. “It’s fine, I guess I woke you up.”

 

Stede tsked. “Not at all—but I wouldn’t have minded if you did. I got up to check on Jo.”

 

“Her name is Jo?”

 

“Josephine,” Stede clarified. “But she told me she prefers to be called Jo. I just wanted to make sure she was sleeping and not awake with anxiety in the middle of the night. It happens sometimes.”

 

Ed hummed and the two men fell into silence again. After a while, they repositioned to lying on their sides, Stede curled protectively around Ed, fingers interlocked. Stede pressed soft kisses into the back of Ed’s shoulder, holding him tightly against him. 

*******

Meeting Jo was easier than Ed expected.

 

The thirteen year old shook his hand with a firm grip. “I’m glad you’re off the floor,” she said, looking back to her massive stack of pancakes—courtesy of Stede, who insisted the girl deserved as many pancakes as she could possibly eat.

 

Ed chuckled. “Me too, kid.”

 

The two ate in a comfortable silence, waiting for Stede to return from feeding the animals.

 

“So,” Jo started. “A priest on a farm living with another man.”

 

Ed raised his eyebrows. “Er, yes.”

 

She hummed. “Seems gay.”

 

Choking on the bite of pancake he had just swallowed, Ed coughed until his throat cleared, chasing it down with a couple gulps of orange juice. “Well, there’s—er, well—so that’s—um—“

 

“He already told me,” she said, eyeing Ed. “I got the rundown on the drive here; that’s why I get that bedroom to myself. Because you sleep with him.”

 

“That’s—yeah, that’s true,” Ed replied. “So he gave you the rundown of what he does, then?” She nodded. “You know you’re safe here, then.”

 

“Yeah, I gathered that,” she said. “Helped that I watched him cuddle you back to health for hours yesterday.”

 

Ed blinked. “You saw all that?”

 

Jo quirked an eyebrow at him. “Uh, it was kinda hard to miss, Ed.” 

 

He sighed and rubbed a hand across his brow. “Yep, you got a point, kid. Sorry about all that, I guess.”

 

She half-shrugged. “It happens. Besides, he seemed to help.”

 

“Yeah,” Ed murmured. “He always seems to be able to.”

 

Stede reappeared at the back door, slipping out of his rain jacket and hanging it on the hook. He crossed the kitchen to place a kiss to the top of Ed’s head, offering Jo a smile. 

 

“How’d you sleep, Jo?” He asked, squeezing Ed’s shoulders gently. “You like the room?”

 

“It’s very nice, thank you,” she replied. “Great water pressure.”

 

“I’m glad to hear it!” Stede squeezed Ed’s shoulders once more before bustling around the kitchen to put his own breakfast together.

 

Once he rejoined them at the table, Stede engaged Jo in conversation about what she liked to do and what her life was like. Ed only half-listened, attention focused on his own food and the cadence of Stede’s voice, soothing and calm. The man was good with kids. Granted, he was good with everyone, but there was something particularly gentle about him with children and it made Ed ache.

 

Stede would be a great father. 

 

He would be much better than his own, and certainly better than Ed’s.

 

Ed didn’t realize he was shaking until Stede’s nails bit into his wrist. He snapped his eyes over to the priest.

 

“You okay?” Stede asked quietly.

 

Not trusting himself to speak around the lump that formed in his throat, Ed settled for a nod. 

 

After Jo finished eating, Stede offered to take her into town to go to the store and sent her off to figure out whatever she needed to have in the house. He turned to Ed.

 

“What can I do?” Stede spoke firmly but kept his voice soft.

 

Ed shrugged. “I dunno. Just gotta wait it out, I guess. It’ll pass.”

 

Stede’s brow furrowed and he leaned in toward Ed. “I will not just sit here doing nothing if I can help you even a little bit. What can I do?”

 

“Stede, I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it. It’s like he’s here, in my head, all the fucking time. I can’t think about anything or do anything or say anything without hearing him in the back of my mind. He’s just fucking there .”

 

Stede was quiet, searching Ed’s expression with his eyes. Finally, he reached for Ed’s hand and squeezed. “Do you want me to let you process this all on your own or do you want me to help distract you?”

 

Ed sucked in a breath. “You’d distract me?”

 

The very corner of Stede’s lip twitched. “Not in any way your father would approve of, mind you.”

 

Ed swallowed, his eyes darting in the direction of the hall where the kid disappeared. “What about the kid?”

 

“I think you’ll find that teenagers are perfectly content to be left to their own devices, especially at night,” Stede said with a wink. “We’ll go out to the chapel after dinner.” 

 

Ed exhaled sharply before nodding. “Okay.”

********

Ed trembled as he walked into the chapel. Stede was helping Jo get situated for the evening, making sure she was connected to the internet and could work the tv—he kept telling Stede that thirteen year olds could figure out anything electronic and she didn’t need any help, but, alas. He situated himself in the first pew and clasped his hands in his lap.

 

His leg bounced involuntarily and he fixed his gaze on the crucifix suspended from the ceiling. It was ornate in a way his father would appreciate: not flashy, made with care, attention to detail. The inscription on the cross was a pearl inlay, set straight into the heavy wood. And the cross itself—there was something about the dark wood that struck Ed. The contrast between the deep brown of the wood and the pale form of Jesus, maybe, Ed wasn’t sure. But it was something. It stood out in the chapel; drew the eye. His father would say that’s how it should be: all eyes drawn to the Lord.

 

Stede sat next to him, running a gentle hand over Ed’s thigh. Outside the chapel windows, the light was fading quickly, and the shadows in the chapel lengthened.

 

“Did you know my chapel is soundproofed?” Stede asked.

 

Ed snorted. “‘Course it is. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

 

Stede hummed in reply before allowing the silence to settle around them again. Focusing on his breath, Ed took a slow inhale in through his nose. 

 

“I’m sorry we haven’t had time to sit and talk about what happened while I was gone,” Stede finally murmured. “I hate that I wasn’t here for you. I hate that I—I couldn’t help.”

 

“Wha—Stede, you help just by being here,” Ed protested. “You’re—you’re like a light in my life. You make things bearable.”

 

“Did you just call me the light of your life?” The priest asked with a smirk.

 

Ed rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You get my point.”

 

With a laugh, Stede stood, tugging Ed up behind him. “Yes, I do.” He led Ed to the side of the altar, to the confessional. “We’re going to have a chat. Is that okay?” He turned to face Ed with a searching, expectant gaze. 

 

With a swallow, Ed nodded. Stede cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

“Yes, Father Bonnet.”

 

Ed went into one side of the confessional, tugging the curtain shut behind him and letting the dark swallow him. He heard Stede do the same on the other side. The sound of the other curtain sliding shut sent shivers down Ed’s spine. It had been years since Ed had participated in some form of confession—and regardless of that, he knew this time would be very different anyway.

 

A few moments after silence fell, Ed realized that Stede was waiting for him.

 

“Er, forgive me Father, for I have sinned,” he murmured quietly, keeping his voice soft but firm. The confessional seemed to swallow his voice away from him. “It’s been…” he paused, considering. “…eleven years since my last confession.”

 

A pause, while Ed trembled. Then— “Speak, my child, so that your sins may be forgiven. What would you like to confess?”

 

And wasn’t that a question? 

 

“Many things, Father. I’ve—well. I haven’t always been upholding of the church’s teachings. I have participated in sexual activity—both hetero and homosexual. I’ve gone against the church’s teachings and allowed others to do the same. I’ve sworn, and wished harm on others, and taken the Lord’s name in vain.” He struggled to remember the ten commandments off of the top of his head—he imagined he’d broken most those. “I—I’ve disobeyed my father and mother. Intentionally. And unintentionally, I guess.”

 

Stede hummed from the other side of the confessional. “I’ve heard you, child. You will do penance for your sins. Go and be forgiven.”

 

Ed inhaled. “Thank you, Father.”

 

With that, Stede’s voice changed, dropping lower as he addressed Ed. “Leave the booth and come to my side, Edward.”

 

“Yes, Father,” Ed replied, standing from the bench. He pulled back Stede’s curtain and gazed down at Stede, still sitting, dressed in his priest’s clothes. 

 

“Are you ready for your penance, Edward?” He spoke calmly, but assertively. He left no room for question. 

 

“Yes, Father,” Ed spoke again. “What can I do?”

 

Stede parted his legs. “Kneel.”

 

Ed knelt.

 

“Get my cock out of my pants, Edward,” Stede commanded. Ed did, fumbling with the black trousers and pulling Stede’s mostly-soft cock out. “There’s lube in the pocket. Get yourself wet and open while you use your mouth to get me hard.”

 

Ed stood and struggled out of his own jeans before fishing the lube from Stede’s pocket and coating his fingers. Spreading his knees as much as he could, he reached behind himself, taking Stede’s cock onto his tongue at the same time. 

 

Stede caressed his cheek. “This is the only preparation you get. Be thorough.”

 

Meeting Stede’s gaze, Ed nodded, massaging his own rim with his fingers. The angle was awkward at best, and fitting Stede inside was a stretch on the best of days, but the idea of Stede stretching him out on his cock lit something on fire inside him. The priest’s cock was growing firmer on his tongue, a heavy presence inside his mouth. Ed adored the feeling of it. Feeling Stede grow hard in his mouth was somehow more intimate than just fucking him.

 

Ed sank a finger within himself. His body craved the stretch, craved being split open, speared on Stede’s cock. He ached for it.

 

He swirled his tongue around the head of Stede’s cock, sinking lower and allowing the tip to brush the back of his throat. He swallowed, feeling his throat spasm around the head and the thick cock kicking in response. It was an unparalleled sensation and Ed wanted to find a way to bottle it and keep it forever. He took him deeper. At the same time, he worked a second finger inside himself, smearing lube anywhere he could reach. He curled his fingers to no avail, the angle too awkward for any success at real pleasure. 

 

“Alright, Edward,” Stede finally said. “That’s enough.”

 

Ed pulled off with a slick sound, looking up at Stede with watery eyes. 

 

“Stand,” Stede gripped Ed’s chin in his hand, guiding him up. “You’re going to sit on my cock, darling.”

 

“Facing you or my back to you?” Ed rasped.

 

Stede hummed, considering. “How do you want it?”

 

Ed flicked his gaze away before meeting Stede’s eyes once more. “I’d rather be facing you, Father.”

 

He offered Ed a soft smile. “Face me then, Edward.”

 

It took some maneuvering in the tight space but Ed got his knees around Ed’s hips, bracketing the priest. He lifted himself up and reached behind him to line Stede up. Stede kept his hands firmly on Ed’s hips, supporting him to prevent him from falling. 

 

With the firm pressure of Stede’s cock at his entrance, Ed sank down slowly, the head popping past his rim with a sharp exhale from Ed. He had wanted a stretch and this was, in fact, a stretch. He felt his body work to give way to Stede, to swallow him whole, to drag him inside and lock around him. Ed inhaled slowly and sank lower, allowing hims body weight to pull him down, taking Stede to the hilt and punching matching gasps from the both of them. He was so full, impaled on Stede’s cock. 

 

“Oh, Edward,” Stede sighed, fingertips digging into Ed’s bare hips. “You feel exquisite. Practically holy. You are incredible—a religious experience.”

 

Ed shuddered, lifting himself back up and dropping again, starting a rhythm. 

 

“Let me hear you, Edward,” Stede murmured. “Tell me how it feels.”

 

“Feels so go—ah—good, feel so full,” Ed gasped. “Feel like you’re supposed to be inside me all the time—like this is what we’re meant to do. You’re so deep , I—“

 

Stede met Ed’s movements, thrusting up into him with a filthy grind, extracting a sharp sound from Ed’s throat. Head leaning against the back wall of the confessional, Stede met Ed’s eyes and Ed trembled. Stede was radiant even in the darkness that surrounded them. Ed loved him.

 

Ed loved him.

 

With a cry, Ed spilled over Stede’s black shirt, grinding down hard into the man’s lap. Stede continued fucking up into him, fingers digging into his hips. 

 

Ed loved him.

 

The confessional was dark and filled with the heat of their bodies and activities , and Ed’s head swum. His body bounced alongside Stede’s thrusts, softening cock brushing the wet cloth of Stede’s shirt. When Stede finally came, it was with a biting kiss to Ed’s lips and a guttural moan from his throat. He ground up into Ed, pulling Ed tightly against his own hips, holding him in place until he finished and his grip on Ed’s hips began to loosen. He was sweaty and red faced, even in the dark, and Ed loved him.

 

He reached up and brushed hair from Ed’s forehead. “Hi darling,” he whispered.

 

“I love you,” Ed responded.

Notes:

in the bold text, ed has a dream that he’s being beaten. he is woken by stede.

 

as always, thank you for reading :) i just relocated across the ocean for a new job so i’m not sure how the next three updates are going to go, but the fact that there’s really only three more chapters to go is insane to me. i started this as a little passion project for myself that i thought no one else would ever really read, and it’s been lovely and wonderful and heartbreaking to hear from y’all thus far about how this fic has affected you or been relatable for you.

as always, you can come find me on twitter @pluviophiliced or on tumblr @pluviophilicas, please feel free to come say hello :)

Chapter 8: Devotion

Summary:

ed continues to navigate his life with stede and jo. he makes a decision.

Notes:

the end of this chapter does contain a fucking machine--as always make sure you check updated tags before reading<3

Jo’s presence on the property drastically changed the dynamic between Stede and Ed, and Ed did his best to not let it bother him, but he missed the ease of life before the teenager had moved in. It wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t that he minded her, but things were different.

 

And Ed was horny.

 

After seeing his father, Ed spent weeks flinching from Stede—or alternatively chasing him down to beg him to rail him wherever they might be able to hide from prying teenage eyes. It came to a head when Stede sat him down on their bed and shut the door, looking at him consideringly from across the room. 

 

“You can join me on the bed, sir, ” Ed purred, winking at the other man. Stede frowned.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

A pit opened in Ed’s stomach, cold and heavy and unbearable, and he curled in on himself, dropping his gaze from Stede’s. There was a sharp inhale and then Stede was on the bed next to him, arms wrapped tightly around Ed’s shoulders. 

 

“Oh,  my love ,” Stede whispered. “Not like that, darling, nothing bad. Sweetheart, it’s okay. We just need to talk about our feelings, hey? I think we still have some healing to do from when your father showed up, don’t you think so?”

 

Ed huffed, swallowing against the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to talk about his feelings —he had told Stede he loved him and the man didn’t say it back . 

 

Well, that’s maybe not giving him enough credit. Ed had said I love you and Stede had smiled, had whispered my love , and then a shrill scream had broken them apart and sent them both sprinting into the night toward the house, barely dressed. They had come across Jo, standing on the railing of the porch to escape Izzy, angrily bleating and headbutting the railing beneath her. It was, in Jo’s defense, probably terrifying. It wasn’t until after they had locked Izzy back in his pen and calmed Jo down with hot chocolate and two of the Scream movies that Ed realized that Stede hadn’t said it back. It was fine.

 

Well, it was fine up until now, with Stede staring at him and wanting to talk about feelings .

 

“Stede,” Ed sighed. “It’s fi—”

 

“Don’t blow me off, Edward,” Stede said tiredly. “You’re not dealing with your feelings about seeing your dad and I know you’re upset about being interrupted by Jo and Izzy that night and—”

 

“Don’t,” Ed said softly. “Don’t. It’s fine.”

 

“Maybe it’s fine to you but it isn’t fine to me and I do not appreciate you using me and my body to distract you from very real and important emotions that we could be talking about like grown-ups instead.” Stede sounded wounded, hurt bleeding into his tone. Ed winced. 

 

It’s just that sometimes when things felt a bit too big, Ed wasn’t sure how to address them—he’d been that way his whole life. The only difference was now it mattered and someone else was affected—someone he loved . Ed groaned, throwing himself backward and covering his eyes with his hands. 

 

“I thought he might make me go with him,” Ed finally said, voice hardly above a whisper. “I thought…he might put me in the car and drag me off and that would be it—I wouldn’t see you again.” There was a sharp intake of breath from Stede but Ed refused to move his hands. “And then I told you I love you and you didn’t say it back.”

 

Stede stayed quiet for a few long moments and Ed felt the dread begin to seep back in, bubbling up from somewhere deep in his stomach and threatening to boil up into his chest and spill into his lungs. Maybe he would suffocate like this. 

 

It wasn’t that Ed had never been in love before, it had just never been like this. Easy, and balanced, and delicate, and fun, and kind, and rough when he wanted it to be—Ed didn’t know how he ever accepted anything as love before this. He had never known love like how Stede treated him and he never wanted to. If Stede didn’t love him back, fine, as long as he could still have this. As long as he could still stay here, where his father was somewhere far away and couldn’t quite reach him, and there was always a warm bed somewhere nearby and warm arms to wrap around him while he slept. He didn’t need to be loved if Stede didn’t want to love him—as long as he wanted to keep him. 

 

There were hands circling his wrists, guiding his palms from his eyes, and suddenly Ed was faced with a very serious-looking Stede. 

 

“Edward,” Stede said, voice low and firm. “I have done you a disservice.” Ed’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. “I should have told you that same night, should never have let you doubt my feelings for even a moment more than necessary.” He leaned forward, over Ed, using their joined hands to support his weight. His face was mere inches from Ed’s and there wasn’t enough oxygen in the world to keep Ed breathing. 

 

“Edward,” said Stede again. “I love you. I have loved you for months, now, I’m sure of it. Perhaps even since the first weeks I knew you. You’re irreplaceable to me, Ed, you’re ingrained in my life and in my heart and I want to love you for the rest of my life—I’m sure I will love you for the rest of my life.”

 

Ed didn’t know he was crying until Stede was shifting to free a hand to brush away the tears streaking themselves down his cheek. 

 

“My love,” Stede murmured softly. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

 

Ed sniffled, shook his head. “‘ve never been loved before.”

 

Stede tsked. “You’ll be loved forever.”

*******

Over the course of the next week, Ed spent his time alternating between household chores, spending time with Stede and Jo, and letting Stede help him process the leftover emotions from seeing his father. It was exhausting. It was rewarding. It was a bit overwhelming, altogether.

 

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it anymore!” Ed snapped, standing up from Stede’s desk. “ God , Stede, can’t we talk about anything fucking else?”

 

“Watch your tone with me,” Stede replied calmly. “Treat me like a human being or take yourself out of this room and calm yourself down.”

 

Ed took a deep breath in through his nose and sank back down slowly into his seat across from Stede. “Sorry,” he said softly. “I just, I mean, this is a lot. To deal with.”

 

Stede nodded. “I know. But I don’t ever want to have to find you like that again, Ed,” he said quietly, reaching for Ed’s hand and linking their fingers. “That was one of the scariest moments of my life.”

 

“M’sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize,” he quipped. “It wasn’t your fault. I just want you to have the ability to process and react if it were to happen again.”

 

“I know,” Ed muttered. “I get it.”

 

They sat in silence for a moment or two before Stede spoke again. “We could move.”

 

Ed snapped his head up to stare at the other man. “We cou— what? ”

 

“We could move.” Stede was calm, maintaining eye contact with Ed as if he hadn’t just offered some sort of batshit insane solution. “Your father wouldn’t be able to find us if we cut all contact and relocate. You could essentially…disappear.”

 

“I…I could never ask you to do that, Stede,” Ed replied, wide-eyed. “What the fuck , Stede, I’m not going to let you throw away your life for me.”

 

“If my life doesn’t have you in it then it is not a life worth having, and I am willing to do anything to keep you safe and happy, my darling,” Stede said firmly, squeezing Ed’s hand. “We could always come back to visit. We could have a fresh start, somewhere new.” Ed huffed. “We could start a life together. ”

 

Ed sighed. “I’m content with the life we have, Stede. I’m okay.”

 

Stede looked at him for a long moment and Ed shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m happy if you are, Ed. Just know it’s an option. It’s possible.”

*******

Ed still woke up some nights in a cold sweat, shooting up in bed and gasping, feeling his father’s hands at his throat and his voice echoing in his ears. These nights were long, but never lonely. It was as if Stede had a sixth sense tuned specifically into Ed’s wellbeing, and he was always sitting up almost as quickly as Ed. He wrapped Ed in the blanket and then his arms and hugged him to his chest. Some nights they would fall back asleep. Others, they would lie awake in silence as the sun rose and painted the room in golds and pinks. 

 

It was a non-sleeping night when Ed finally broached the subject.

 

“Do you think it would be possible to get my things?” Even in a whisper, his voice seemed to echo around the silent, dawn-soaked bedroom. “From my apartment, I mean.”

 

“Of course,” Stede replied. He spoke almost directly into Ed’s ear from where he was wrapped so tightly around Ed and it sent shivers up and down his spine. “Whenever you like.”

 

Ed swallowed. “Could we go today?”

 

There was a beat of silence as Stede presumably ran through the day’s plan in his head. Ed knew it was a long drive to his apartment and back, but somewhere in his gut he knew that if they didn’t bite the bullet and go today, he would lose his nerve entirely. 

 

“We can leave as soon as we’ve fed the animals,” Stede said decisively. “Right after breakfast.”

*******

“So, you have an apartment? Are you still paying for it? ‘Cause, like, wouldn’t it be gone now if you weren’t paying your rent?” Jo’s voice drifted to Ed from where she was feeding Tipsy—after the Izzy incident, she refused to go anywhere near the goats. “Which would mean all your shit’s gone, too, right?”

 

“Language,” Ed muttered. “But it’s an apartment owned by the church I worked for—it was paid off through the end of next year. That’s when my contract with the church ends—or would have ended, I guess.”

 

He hadn’t thought about the church in a while—not since one of his first weeks with Stede. It made him sick to his stomach to think about the kids he had grown close to. He had missed so much already. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. It was better this way, anyway. The kids would get someone who actually believed in what they were doing and in turn, Ed would get freedom. It was a win-win.

 

“...marry him, then?” Jo was asking, and Ed spluttered a cough.

 

“Sorry, what? ”

 

Jo rounded the pen, an unimpressed look on her face. “You’re getting all your shit—(“ Language, Jo!”)—so doesn’t that mean you’re moving in? And staying? And you’re both men of god, or whatever, so are you gonna marry him?”

 

Ed blinked, his mouth falling open. “Er—I haven’t, uh, thought about it?”

 

The teenager rolled her eyes. “Idiot.”

 

“Okay first of all, rude,” Ed snorted. “Second of all, and more importantly, we’ve only been… together …for not very long. We have time, you know?”

 

“Right…” She squinted at him. “Aren’t you in your thirties?”

 

“I’m only thirty-one!”

 

She rolled her eyes again. “Dude, you’re like…middle-aged.”

 

Ed gasped. “I quite literally am not middle-aged! ”

 

With a huff, Jo headed for the house. “Whatever you say, old man.”

 

“I am not! Old!” Ed hollered after her, before turning to the goats. “I am not fucking old.” Izzy bleated at him, headbutting the posts of the pen. “Fuck off.”

*******

Allowing Jo to have the aux in Stede’s truck was a mistake. Granted, there wouldn’t be an aux in Stede’s truck if it weren’t for Jo, but on the hour and a half mark of One Direction songs, Ed was about ready to lose his mind.

 

“What if we change the tunes for a bit? We can listen to Bon Jovi or some shit,” he suggested. Jo hummed a negative from the backseat and Ed caught Stede’s snort of laughter out of the very corner of his eye. “Don’t tell me you’re enjoying this.”

 

“Oh, I think it’s delightful,” Stede replied. “A bit pop-y, good vibes and all that. I think the members of One Direction are incredibly talented men.”

 

“You’re a menace,” Ed grumbled.

 

“You love me,” Stede said.

 

Ed huffed. “I do.”

 

Standing outside the apartment building left Ed with the realization he was woefully unprepared to face what was inside. He took a deep breath against the rising panic in his gut and felt Stede’s hand come to rest on his lower back. 

 

“You aren’t going in alone,” Stede reminded him. “You’re not facing it by yourself.”

 

“I know,” Ed said, turning to face Stede. “I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Stede smiled and gestured for Ed to lead them in. The stairs seemed longer than they had in the past, like the journey from the entryway to his front door was a sort of march to the gallows. At the door, he froze, they key halfway to the lock. Stede didn’t push, didn’t ask, just rested his hand at the small of Ed’s back. Even Jo stayed silent, letting Ed work himself up to swinging the door open. 

 

The apartment was the same as he had left it. A time capsule, a memory of who and what he used to be. He nodded resolutely. 

 

“Okay. Let’s get this shit together and then get out.”

 

Stede was looking around. “Do you want to make a couple trips? I’m sorry everything won’t fit in the truck at once.”

 

Ed shook his head. “We can take what’ll fit and leave the rest. The church will donate it.”

 

Stede nodded, and they began. Ed headed for the bedroom, Stede for the living area, and Jo for the kitchen. Walking into his bedroom was something particularly jarring. His eyes landed immediately on his grandmother’s quilt, still turned down from the day he got caught. Crossing to the bed, Ed folded the quilt carefully, setting it at the foot of the bed. He maneuvered around the room for the other important things: a photo album his mother had made, a few framed photographs, his jewelry box. From the closet, he pulled out his suitcase, setting his favorite sweaters and sweatshirts inside, along with three pairs of shoes. He glanced around the room. Some part of him was blown away by the realization of how many of his things he no longer needed—how accustomed he’d become to living in Stede’s house with Stede’s things. Reaching up, he pulled down other assorted blankets and another quilt from the top of his closet, tucking them all into the suitcase.

 

Leaving the suitcase by the front door, Ed made his way to the kitchen. Jo was carefully filling a box Stede had brought along with some dishware. 

 

“I got those mugs in Korea,” Ed murmured from the doorway. “In a pottery shop in Pyeongtaek. This old woman hand-painted them. They carry a lot of sentiment for me. Those little mugs are from Christmas markets in Europe.”

 

“World traveler, huh?” Jo asked, her voice genuinely curious.

 

“I was,” Ed replied. “Back in seminary. I was lucky to have the opportunity.” He watched as Jo collected magnets from the fridge—ceramic pieces from every city in a different country that he’d traveled to—and then turned to meet Stede in the living room. 

 

Stede had a box almost full of books at his feet. He looked up as Ed entered.

 

“I was going to put the plants in here as well, but…” he gestured to the potted plants forlornly. “I don’t think any of them survived.”

 

Ed half-shrugged. “No surprise there, I guess.”

 

Another box sat on the desk, assorted notebooks and Ed’s laptop sitting inside. Right on top sat his mother’s bible. 

 

“My mother wasn’t even a Christian, you know,” he said aloud, running a finger over the cover. “Not until she ended up with my dad. I’ve always wanted to learn about her culture—her life before him. Never got around to it.”

 

“You have time,” Stede murmured, arms wrapping around Ed’s waist. “You have the rest of your life.”

 

“You wouldn’t be disappointed?”

 

Stede pulled away, turning Ed to face him and his furrowed brow. “What? Why would I ever be disappointed?”

 

Ed sighed. “If I wasn’t…doing the Christianity thing anymore.”

 

If possible, Stede’s brow furrowed further. “Ed…I would be so much more disappointed if you were doing something that didn’t make you happy. I don’t care whether or not you’re a part of the religion you were quite literally held captive in. Everything I want for you is just to be fulfilled. To be happy and healthy and loved. Nothing more, nothing less.”

 

“It wouldn’t cause problems for us?”

 

“Edward,” Stede sighed, glancing toward the kitchen. “I regularly fuck you over the altar in my own personal chapel, directly under a giant, blessed crucifix. You think whether or not you believe in god is a sticking point for me?”

 

Ed shrugged. 

 

“Let me be explicit, Edward.” Stede’s voice was firm, sincerity radiating from him. “I love you. I am in love with you . Nothing is going to change that. Maybe if you suddenly got into scientology, but otherwise? If you want this, I will do whatever it takes to make this work. I will be here until you don’t want me anymore. I will be here until you’re sick of me. I will be here until we’re both in hospice care, attached to tubes that eat and breathe for us. Do you understand me?”

 

“What are you saying, Stede?” Ed’s voice shook, no matter how hard he willed it to be still. Hearing these sentiments from Stede’s mouth was almost too much. 

 

“I’m yours as long as you’ll have me, Ed. I love you. I love you .” Stede laid a hand against Ed’s cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “I don’t plan on stopping. Ever.”

 

Ed took a shuddering breath and promptly burst into tears. 

*******

The drive home felt significantly shorter, though Ed was lost in his head the entire time. Trees flew by to the dulcet tones of even more One Direction—seriously, how many fucking songs did this band have?—and the sun had set by the time Stede slid the truck into park. Jo hopped out immediately and grabbed one of the boxes from the truck bed before disappearing into the house. Ed and Stede sat in silence in the cab of the truck for a few moments. 

 

“Will you wait for me in the chapel?” Stede asked quietly, reaching for Ed’s thigh and rubbing circles with his thumb. “If you’re up for it?”

 

Ed was up for nothing more. He wanted Stede to take him apart—he didn’t want to have to think about any of this shit. He definitely didn’t want to talk about it. He nodded.

 

Stede squeezed his leg. “You know we will be talking through our feelings tomorrow, right?”

 

Ed sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

 

With a pat to his thigh, Stede climbed out of the truck. Jo reappeared and lifted another box, and Stede followed her into the house, arms laden down with boxes of his own. After he disappeared inside, Jo came around to the passenger side of the truck and opened Ed’s door for him. She looked at him for a long moment before leaning in and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, squeezing him with a tight hug. Ed froze before wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his chin on the top of her head.

 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jo murmured, muffled into his chest. “You got out, yaknow? You’re gonna be fine.”

 

Ed squeezed his eyes shut. “You got out too, kid,” he whispered. “We’re not gonna let you go back there.”

 

After a few long moments, Jo pulled away and offered him a tight smile, before collecting the last suitcase from the bed of the truck and heading inside. The door shut behind her and Ed was alone in the yard. He climbed out of the truck and made his way to the chapel, slumping down into the first row as had become custom. He sat and he waited, staring blankly at the crucifix suspended above the altar. It had practically become his constant companion. He buried his face in his hands.

 

Hands on his shoulders startled Ed into sitting straight up, but Stede hushed him. It might have been hours, it might have been five minutes of waiting. Either way, Stede was here , digging his thumbs into the knots of tension in Ed’s shoulders. 

 

“Tonight is up to you, Edward,” Stede said quietly. “You’ve had a long, exhausting day today. Do you want to be hands-on here, or do you want me to make all of the decisions?”

 

Ed swallowed. “You.”

 

Stede’s grip tightened. “Me…?”

 

“Father Bonnet, please,” Ed tilted his head back and Stede trailed his hands up from his shoulders to circle his throat. “I want to forget my own name.”

 

“We can do our best, can’t we, sweetheart?” Stede guided Ed to his feet and up to the altar, setting Ed’s palms flat on the altar top. He nudged Ed’s legs apart with his foot, so that Ed was bent forward, splayed open just a bit. Stede opened Ed’s button and tugged his jeans and underwear down just under the swell of his ass, freeing his cock. He ran his hands over Ed’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart and running a dry finger over his hole.

 

Ed shuddered at the feeling. 

 

“There we are, darling,” Stede murmured. “I’m going to open you up, alright? I’m going to milk your prostate until you’ve come from that alone, and then I’m going to use your own slick up my cock, and then I’m going to fuck you.” Stede bent over him and pressed his mouth to Ed’s ear. “And if you’re still coherent by then, I’m going to bring out the machine I have in the back room and let that finish the job. How does that sound?”

 

Ed was overcome with the images Stede painted in his head, but more so by Stede’s careful attention to checking in with him, even after he’d given Stede full reign of the plan. He whimpered. “Sounds good, Father, thank you.”

 

There were slick fingers at his entrance mere moments later, working their way inside. He pitched forward, rocking back onto Stede’s fingers with a soft sigh. Stede made for direct contact, no frivolous movement, nailing Ed’s prostate immediately with an almost-terrifying accuracy. The contact was intense, concentrated so directly onto Ed’s prostate that his legs shook and threatened to give out. He trembled against the altar, fighting to support his own weight, and Stede continued his brutal assault on his prostate.

 

It could not have been more than five minutes before Ed’s muscles were locking up. His body tensed, heat coiling deep in his stomach. Stede reached a hand around as Ed tipped over the edge, cupping his hand over the head of Ed’s cock and he shook apart, spilling into Stede’s palm. 

 

“Beautiful,” Stede murmured from behind him. “So good for me, Edward.”

 

Ed whimpered low in his throat, hearing the slick sound of Stede’s hand on his own cock. Just the thought of Stede using Ed’s own come to ease the way for his cock made his own kick with a valiant effort to reach full hardness once more. Suddenly, there was a hot pressure at his entrance, pushing through into his body, and Ed fell forward onto his elbows.

 

“You’re so tight, my love,” Stede said. “So perfectly formed. Like this space in your body was created specifically for me—like God created you specifically for me. No one else would take me like you, wrap so perfectly around my cock—fucking you is divine intervention , my darling.”

 

Coupled with Stede’s movements, it was almost too much. “Father,” Ed whined. “Please, more.”

 

Stede doubled down on his thrusts, rocking into Ed with such a brutal pace that his hip bones indented on Ed’s ass, and he knew he’d be bruised in the morning. When Stede fucked him like this, he got impossibly deep, and Ed couldn’t bear it. It was overwhelming. It was divine.

 

It was only a couple more thrusts before Stede was spilling into Ed, biting down on his shoulder and grinding into him, fingers digging into his hips like he wanted to carve spaces for them in his skin. He held there for a moment before releasing the skin of Ed’s shoulder. 

 

Ed was hard. 

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Stede cooed. “Can you hold yourself up still, or should we reposition you for the machine?”

 

Ed shook his head. “M’good, I can stand.”

 

Stede pressed another kiss to his shoulder. “You are good. The best .” 

 

With that he disappeared, heading for the back room. Ed inhaled slowly, grounding himself as best he could. He could hear Stede moving around that room, and then his footsteps as he crossed the altar. There was a heavy thud as Stede set the machine down, and Ed closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look—he wanted the surprise. 

 

There were more noises of adjustment as Stede maneuvered around, and then the man was standing behind Ed once more, palming his ass. There was a slick, blunt pressure at his entrance before it pushed past his rim, stretching him even further. Ed couldn’t help but push back against it just the tiniest bit, and he heard a low chuckle from Stede. Stede readjusted Ed’s hips to where he wanted him and then pressed kisses into his shoulder.

 

“Ready, sweetheart? I’m going to start on the lowest setting, and then we’ll crank it up a bit. Understand?”

 

“Yes, Father,” Ed breathed. 

 

And the machine began to move. 

 

It pressed forward, deeper and deeper, before pulling its way back out. Ed rocked with the movement of the machine, unable to stand still. There was a good amount of lube on the device, and it moved inside him with ease. It was a delicious stretch and an even better constant pressure on his prostate. 

 

It clicked up, picking up speed, and Ed gasped. 

 

A few moments later, it kicked up into what must have been the highest notch. The machine fucked into Ed with abandon, harder than Stede ever could. It was brutal. It was insane. It was divine. Ed’s entire body felt like it was on fire. The device punched little gasps from Ed’s throat with every thrust, every movement. His legs shook, his entire body vibrated with the intensity of the pleasure rocking through him. He dropped his head forward, gasping. The machine continued, fucking into him relentlessly. He didn’t realize he had tears pouring down his cheeks until he watched them land on his forearms, and he gasped a sob. 

 

It was overwhelming in the best way. It was like Ed’s body didn’t belong to himself anymore, it belonged to the machine. It belonged to Stede, holding the remote that controlled it. His body did whatever it was that the machine wanted it to do and Ed was a captive to his own flesh and blood, chasing its carnal pleasure. 

 

Sounds bled from his lips like an arterial bleed—fountainous and prolific. He had no idea what they were, whether or not they were words or simply cries of pleasure. Nothing existed except for the pounding thrusts in his ass and the rocketing heat lighting him up from the inside out. The world had narrowed down to Ed and the machine railing him, sending tremors through his body as he moved mindlessly, desperately to meet the thrusts of the machine. 

 

And then he was coming, sobbing onto the altar as the machine continued to pound into him, driving home again and again. It continued going until the precipice where pleasure threatened to become pain and Ed whimpered, unable to keep himself from moving with the machine but crying out with every movement. 

 

Stede turned the machine off and guided it carefully from Ed’s entrance. As soon as his arm was around Ed, Ed collapsed into him.

 

“Alright, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

 

Notes:

i had a lot of fun with this chapter and i hope it pays off for y'all!!!

as per usual, you can always drop by on twitter @pluviophiliced and come say hello<3
thanks for reading!!!!

Chapter 9: United

Summary:

stede realizes he may have overlooked something. it's handled.

Notes:

please note that this chapter contains sounding-- you can skip this if you would like by not reading the text between the two asterisk dividers :)

this chapter is for char, who keeps me going

The house became as much Ed’s as it had always been Stede’s, and so it went. The domestic life treated them well, just the two of them and Jo, taking care of the animals and keeping Stede’s land, taking outings together and eating dinner together every night. It was a good life. A happy one. 

 

One that Ed never saw happening for himself.

 

It started to get cooler—at least by southern standards, and Jo was still with them.

 

“What do you do about school?” Ed asked one afternoon, blowing lightly on his tea where he leaned against the kitchen counter watching Jo with the goats in the yard. 

 

Stede looked up from where he was sitting at the kitchen table. “What?”

 

Ed turned and raised a brow. “For Jo. What do you do about school?”

 

Stede blinked. “I—hadn’t thought about it, to be honest with you.”

 

“This isn’t something you’ve had to handle before?”

 

“No,” Stede shook his head slowly. “Usually I don’t have them for more than a month or so—they go home or their cases get taken care of quickly. I’m emergency placement, not generally long-term.”

 

Ed looked back out the window. “So what do we do?” We.

 

Stede inhaled loudly through his nose. “I’ll call John. If nothing else, hopefully he’ll have an update on the case that wasn’t passed along to us.” He rubbed his eyes. “What would I do without you?”

 

Ed laughed, crossing the room and placing a kiss on the top of Stede’s head. “There’d be a gaping hole in your life and a child with no education in your yard.”

 

He moved away, but Stede gripped his wrist. He glanced back, finding an intense look on Stede’s face as he stared at Ed. “There would be.”

 

“She’ll be fine, Stede, one of you would have remembered eventually.”

 

“No,” Stede shook his head. “There would be a gaping hole in my life without you in it.”

 

Ed swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, and leaned down to press a soft kiss to Stede’s mouth. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, now do you?”

 

Stede hummed. “Hope not.”

 

With another soft kiss to his mouth, Ed headed out back to Jo, She had befriended Izzy over the course of the past weeks, clearly determined not to let the old goat get the better of her, and Ed watched with an overwhelming fondness as the goat lay down next to the girl and rested his head in her lap. It was a vision in domesticity.

 

Ed lowered himself to the ground beside her as she turned to look at him. 

 

“He still doesn’t act that way with me, you know,” he said, gesturing to the goat. “Fuckin’ hates my guts.”

 

“Bullshit,” Jo replied. “I’ve seen him follow you around like a lost dog.”

 

Ed snorted. “Whatever. He doesn’t like me.”

 

Jo laughed. “He’s practically your pet, old man.”

 

He joined in her laughter, just happy to exist in the moment with her. Moments like these, Ed found himself wondering how he got here and how he got so lucky to have found peace like this in the aftermath of the nightmare he thought he would never recover from.  He looked around the yard, at the teenager sitting next to him, a grumpy goat’s head in her lap, then looked back toward the house, where the man he loved was somewhere inside, figuring out what the best plan of action to make sure Jo was getting the best care was. Ed Teach a year ago would not have believed that any of this had come to pass—not even for a moment.

 

Perhaps even especially not the whole shacked-up-with-a-priest-who-fucks-him-over-an-altar thing. 

 

“What are you making for dinner?” Jo asked finally, breaking his train of thought.

 

“I was thinking chicken and dumplings,” Ed said thoughtfully. “Stede was talking to Petal the other day about how his mom used to make it when he was growing up but he could never get the dumplings quite right, so I had Petal email me her recipe that night.” He looked over at Jo. “Want to help?”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously. Are we surprising him?”

 

Ed hummed. “We could. I hadn’t really planned it out. Think we can get him out of the house?”

 

Jo snorted and pushed Izzy’s head off her lap, standing and brushing off her lap. “How long do we need?”

 

“An hour, probably. With the two of us, it won’t take too long.”

 

She gave him a decisive nod, holding out a hand to help him to his feet. “Watch the mastermind at work, baby.”

 

He winced. “Baby?”

 

She shrugged. “Hated it the second it was out of my mouth. It’s much more fun to make fun of you for being old.”

 

Ed rolled his eyes, following her toward the house and into the kitchen, where Stede was just hanging up the phone. He opened his mouth to address the two, only to be promptly cut off by Jo. 

 

“I bled through my underwear and I have no menstrual products to speak of,” she began, voice edging on hysteria. “I didn’t know I was out but I am and I need more now .”

 

“Er,” Stede blinked. “We can make that happen, we can go get more easily.”

 

She gasped. “I can’t go , are you kidding? I bled through my pants, Stede!”

 

Stede spluttered. “Right, no, yes, of course, that does make sense. How about I can go? I can head out now, yes? And I can pick something up for dinner, if you—”

 

“I’ve got dinner, love,” Ed interrupted. “I’ll make dinner here, you just go handle all that, yeah? Maybe grab some ice cream for dessert?”

 

“Right, sure, yes,” Stede nodded, already on his feet. “Jo, text me any specifics? So I can make sure I get the right things?”

 

“I’ll even find you pictures on Google,” she agreed. 

 

Stede collected the keys to his truck and patted his pockets for his wallet. He was almost out the door before Ed called him.

 

“I don’t get a goodbye kiss?”

 

Stede huffed. “Aren’t I in a rush?” Even as he protested he crossed the kitchen back to Ed and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “I’ll see you soon. Call if you need me to pick anything up for dinner.”

 

Ed grinned. “Yes, sir.”

 

Stede furrowed his brow at him before disappearing through the door. Ed turned to find Jo glaring at him.

 

“What?”

 

“If I’d actually been bleeding through my pants and you made him stop to kiss you goodbye, I would be throwing an absolute bitchfit tantrum right now.”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching your language?” Ed quipped.

 

“Are you going to say something about it?” Jo challenged him. “Because I don’t think you have the balls.”

 

Ed rolled his eyes from where he had opened the pantry, pulling out Bisquick and salt. “I think you need your ego checked.”

 

She snorted. “Go on then, check it.”

 

“Are all thirteen-year-olds this much of a nightmare?”

 

She shrugged. “Probably.”

 

With an exaggerated eye roll, Ed collected the rest of the ingredients on the counter and gave Jo directions on where she should start.  Allowing Jo to work on the dumpling dough, periodically checking in with her, Ed worked on preparing the chicken and setting up the crockpot. Eventually, he paused to attach his phone to the speaker Jo had them set up in the kitchen and played his classic rock playlist, bobbing his head as he worked. 

 

It didn’t take them more than half an hour to get the ingredients set up and added to the crockpot. They started working on the dishes, Ed washing and Jo drying.

 

“He says he’s on his way back,” Jo piped up after a while, as Ed worked on the final bowl. “Should be here in twenty.”

 

“Perfect timing,” Ed replied. “Want to set the table for me?”

 

Jo nodded and set about collecting silverware and plates for the table. Ed started a pot of green beans on the stove and checked on the chicken and dumplings, satisfied with how they looked. The kitchen was filled with the warmth of the stove and the smells of the food as it cooked, and it warmed Ed’s chest from the inside. He sighed contentedly. This was a dream life. 

 

“You told him to get ice cream for dessert,” Jo said from the kitchen table. “What are you making?”

 

“Oh shit ,” Ed groaned. “I forgot. Can you grab me a can of cherry pie filling and a yellow cake mix from the pantry?”

 

“Uh, sure,” Jo replied, heading for the pantry and pulling both ingredients out. “Not exactly a full dessert here though, is it?”

 

Ed snorted. “Just about.” He pulled a stick of butter from the fridge and a baking dish from under the oven, greasing it up and pouring the cherry filling into the bottom of it. “It’s called dump cake—I mean I think different people call it different things, but it was common at church potlucks growing up. Sometimes there’d be pineapple in it too, but my favorite way is just the cherries.”

 

Jo raised an eyebrow. “And it’s…just cherry pie filling covered in…cake mix.”

 

He hummed. “Sure is, and then you eat it hot with ice cream. It’s delicious, I swear, and fits with the theme of childhood comfort foods.” 

 

“Gotcha,” Jo replied. “That makes sense.”

 

As Ed popped the dish into the oven, the back door opened and Stede reentered the house, laden down with multiple bags, and Ed and Jo glanced at each other, eyes wide.

 

“So they didn’t have the ones you sent pictures of, so I just grabbed…one of everything? I know that everything works differently and that everyone has their own preferences of what they like and want to use, and I didn’t want to get one that you didn’t like, and I wasn’t sure whether the brand or the style was more important, so I just thought if I brought you a variety then you could just pick for yourself what you like the best and would prefer to use?” He paused to take a deep breath. “Obviously if you don’t like any of these we can just try a different store, but I didn’t want to make you wait longer than you had to tonight, and I grabbed the brand of underwear that you sent the picture of to replace the ones you bled through, and I thought I might as well just grab you two packs, just in case, and—”

 

“Stede!” Jo finally cut him off. “This is perfect, really. Thank you. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

 

Ed grinned from where he was leaning against the counter, watching the scene unfold in front of him. “You’re way overthinking, love.”

 

Stede huffed. “I just wanted to make sure she’s comfortable.” An almost-imperceptible pout twisted his mouth. “It’s important to me.”

 

Ed laughed, crossing to Stede and wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him close. “Aren’t you going to ask us what’s for dinner?”

 

Stede sniffed the air. “Smells good, almost like—” He paused, turning to fix Stede with a wide-eyed gaze. “—chicken and dumplings?”

 

“Got the recipe from Petal,” Ed said, still grinning. “We thought we’d surprise you.”

 

Stede fish-mouthed, blinking at Ed. “You—Ed, this is—I can’t thank you for—hold on,” He spun to face Jo. “Did you actually need the products?”

 

She threw her hands up in a motion of protest. “Technically, yes, I am out. But I could have perhaps waited a bit instead of needing them as urgently as I may have maybe made it sound like I needed them.”

 

He gaped at her before turning to Ed. “You were in on it!”

 

“I was in on it. She suggested we surprise you, I simply agreed that it could be fun,” Ed chuckled, pulling Stede back in flush against him. “I thought it would be nice. I still think it’s nice, and I think you love it underneath all your fake protesting.”

 

“No I do, this is—” Stede sighed, a soft smile breaking across his face. “This is wonderful, Edward. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”

 

Jo sniffed. “Someone should’ve.”

 

“I’ll keep doing it for as long as you’ll let me,” Ed murmured against Stede’s ear. “I’ll do it forever.” Stede turned to stare at him, his mouth hanging slightly ajar, and Ed leaned forward to place a tiny kiss on his bottom lip.  “Now if you’re done being dramatic, I think dinner’s ready.”

 

Stede rolled his eyes and headed toward the cabinet, only to be stopped and redirected by Jo. “I already set the table, Stede.”

 

Stede took his seat at the table and allowed Ed to serve him, Ed and Jo both took their respective seats and the kitchen was silent as they all began to eat, the only sounds being their cutlery on their plates and Stede’s occasional pleased moan. Ed smirked to himself, overwhelmingly pleased with Stede’s satisfaction. 

 

When they had each cleared their plates, Jo collected the dirty plates and set them in the sink as Ed dished out dessert into bowls, delivering them to the table. He let out a content moan of his own around his first bite of the dessert, It was perfectly done, the heat of the cherries and cake mix contrasting beautifully with the cold vanilla ice cream—it was everything Ed had wanted from it, and he could not have been happier with how it turned out. 

 

Stede grinned at him from across the table, a tiny bit of red cherry sauce smeared at the corners of his mouth.

 

He loved him.

 

He loved him so incredibly much.

 

More than chicken and dumplings, more than childhood comfort food, more than cherry desserts served hot with vanilla ice cream, though loving Stede was the kind of love that warmed him from the inside out, the kind of warmth a homemade dessert could never come close to replicating. He loved him like religion. 

 

He was going to love him forever.

*******

Stede had Ed splayed out on their bed, his underwear folded up and shoved into his mouth, gazing up at the blonde straddling his thighs. Everything was a bit hazy, Ed’s eyes struggling to keep focused. Everywhere he was pressed against Stede burned and ached. He wanted him closer. He couldn’t get him close enough. He whined around the fabric in his mouth.

 

“Hush, darling,” Stede murmured. “I’ve got you, haven’t I?”

 

There was a firm hand around his cock, and then pressure at the very tip, pressing in just the slightest bit before pulling back out. Ed hissed at the feeling, his muscles tensing up. Stede had purchased the set of sounding rods a week and a half ago, promising Ed that he would take him apart in the very best possible way.

 

“You’re beautiful, Edward,” Stede said. He swirled the end of the rod around the tip of Ed’s cock, drawing a sharp whine from Ed’s throat. Ed swallowed hard as Stede pushed the rod into the head of his cock, dipping into his slit and pressing, pressing, pressing.

 

Ed keened.

 

It was overwhelming in the best way. 

 

The feeling of Stede pushing the sound further into his cock was everything, lighting Ed up from somewhere deep inside himself, sending sparks shooting through his veins and throughout his body. Every drag of the rod made his skin vibrate. Stede pressed deeper and deeper, touching places inside Ed that had never been touched before. Ed blinked his eyes open, gazing down at his cock, focusing on the metal protruding from his slit, and groaned softly. 

 

“ Fuck , Stede,” he whispered. “God.”

 

“Feels good, does it?” Stede wrapped a firm hand around Ed’s cock, dragging his fist up from the base to the tip, and Ed trembled. “You’re exquisite, Edward.”

 

Holding the head of his cock in one hand, Stede continued to stroke him with his other hand, twisting his wrist as he moved and sending electric shocks throughout Ed’s entire being. Something about being speared by Stede in this way that was drastically different from any other way he could be fucked did something to Ed’s brain. The knowledge of how holistically Stede owned him, how overpoweringly Stede loved him, how much he desired him, was everything for Ed. 

 

His back arched as Stede sped up his hand. 

 

“Are you going to come for me, my love?” Stede murmured. “Fall apart in my hands? Let me see you come undone?”

 

The sparks in the pit of Ed’s stomach surged, and Stede gripped the base of his cock and slid the sound entirely out. Every nerve ending of Ed’s was on fire and he came undone, spilling over Stede’s hand and gasping out a cry.

 

“Oh, there we are, sweetheart, there we go.”

 

Ed collapsed, boneless, gazing up at the ceiling.

*******

Ed swallowed Stede down, feeling his cock harden in his mouth, the very beginnings of dawn starting to break through the dark of the bedroom. 

 

Stede was still asleep above him, though he shifted as Ed took him into his throat.

 

The feeling of his cock growing, thickening on his tongue was something special. He hallowed out his cheeks, letting himself revel in the weight of Stede on his tongue and resting his cheek on Stede’s hip to wait, suckling softly. After some time, Stede started to rock gently up into the wet heat of Ed’s mouth. Ed moaned softly around him, listening to Stede’s sleepy snuffling. Readjusting, he lifted his head to fully swallow Stede down fully into his throat and turned his gaze up to Stede’s face to watch as the man came fully into wakefulness with a start, spilling down Ed’s throat moments later.

 

“Oh, good morning , beloved,” Stede murmured, caressing Ed’s cheek. “Aren’t we eager this morning?”

 

He tugged Ed up his body, licking into Ed’s mouth and Ed groaned at the silken feel of Stede’s tongue against his own, chasing the taste of himself on Ed’s tongue. They made out lazily for a few minutes, simply existing in the dawn light together and sharing each other’s body heat. Stede finally rolled Ed onto his back, pressing gentle kisses over ever exposed inch of skin along his face and chest, making his way down to Ed’s nipples and capturing one, looking up at Ed with a smirk. Ed let out a strangled noise.

 

Stede swirled a tongue around his nipple before biting down, releasing, and switching to the other side to repeat each step. He scratched his nails down the nipple he had just freed, catching on the peak and drawing a sharp whine from Ed’s throat. When he was satisfied that both of Ed’s nipples were puffy and swollen, he pulled away to admire his handiwork.

 

“I like when you have to think of me when you wear a shirt because every time it touches your nipples, you get a reminder of what I can do to you,” he murmured, swiping a thumb over one nipple and grinning when Ed jolted. Ed didn’t have a response for him except to whine softly. 

 

Seemingly pleased with his work so far, Stede dove back in, biting and sucking down Ed’s sternum to his stomach. Ed shook beneath him. The effect Stede had on him, even this early in the morning, was ungodly. It was divine. 

 

Stede kissed through the hair on Ed’s lower stomach, down, down, until he bypassed Ed’s cock and Ed groaned. “Stede,” he whined. “Please.”

 

“Patience, beloved,” Stede scolded. “Let me take my time. I have to repay you for being so thoughtful and waking me up with your mouth, don’t you agree?” Tossing his head back, Ed sighed, going boneless into the bed as Stede massaged his thighs. “There’s a good boy.”

 

He shouldered his way between Ed’s thighs and mere moments later, there was a wet tongue over Ed’s hole and he cried out. Stede ate Ed out like he was a man starved, faced with a final feast, and Ed was the only thing on the menu. He was sloppy and enthusiastic, taking Ed apart in only the best ways. 

 

He felt the exact moment Stede slid a finger in alongside his tongue and his back bowed, canting his hips back against the intrusion, begging for more, for harder, for any and everything Stede was willing to give him. Another finger joined the first, stretching Ed further. He felt full, but just barely—it wasn’t enough.

 

“Stede,” he whispered.

 

“I’ve got you,” Stede replied. He buried his face between Ed’s legs, diving back in with no preamble, no hesitation. Ed trembled at the feeling of Stede fucking his tongue in and out, swirling around and between his fingers, drawing noise after noise from Ed’s throat. He whimpered and shook and melted into their bed, into their sheets.

 

He would fall apart for Stede whenever the man asked him to.

 

He would do anything for him.

 

Stede pulled away, leaning to his nightstand for a moment before returning, slicking up his cock and burying himself into Ed with one movement. Ed sobbed, shoved further up on the bed, scrabbling for purchase. 

 

“Every time inside you feels like the first,” Stede panted. “Every time is like coming home.”

 

Ed tossed his head back and forth, gasping as Stede set a pace, fast and hard, driving into him again and again. It was everything, it was overwhelming, it was life-changing, just as it had always been. He was so close. The pressure in his gut was too much, he was there on the edge, ready to fall over any moment. He looked up at Stede to find the other man already looking back.

 

“Come for me, angel,” Stede said.

 

And he did.

 

He spilled over his stomach with a sob, wrenched from somewhere deep in his chest, deep in his gut where only Stede could pull from. Stede followed him over only moments later, grinding deep inside Ed and dragging his cock along every almost-too-sensitive spot.

 

When he finally pulled out, he sank back down the bed and cleaned Ed’s stomach with his tongue, collecting Ed’s spend and making eye contact with the dark-haired man as he swallowed. Ed dragged him back up the bed, crashing their mouths back together and letting Ed lick the taste of himself from his tongue.

 

“I miss you when you’re asleep,” Ed said, pulling away. “S’too long without talking to you.”

 

“My darling. I will never complain about waking up to your mouth.” Stede smoothed Ed’s curls off of his forehead and placed a kiss on the bare skin. “I love you.”

 

“I love you,” Ed grinned.

 

The two men brushed teeth together before meandering to the kitchen, where Stede began the tea and Ed poked through the pantry. He pulled out the various pancake ingredients, mixing up a batter and setting a pan on the stove to get hot. Stede set his cup of tea next to him, perfectly made, as always. 

 

“I’m going into town with Jo today to meet with John,” Stede said, leaning against the counter next to Ed. “We’re setting up a homeschool curriculum for Jo until we know more about the case. If she ends up staying for more than another month, we’ll enroll her in school here.”

 

“That might be good for her,” Ed replied, pouring chocolate chips into the batter. “Make some friends around here.”

 

Stede hummed. “I think so too. Can’t do it until she’s certainly staying long term though, otherwise it may cause issues in the case, according to John. It makes it seem like we’re plotting to keep her here.”

 

“I guess that makes sense.”

 

Stede sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I’ll miss her when she goes,” he said in a soft quiet voice, hardly more than a whisper. “She’s pretty central in our lives, now.”

 

Ed reached for his lover, squeezing his hip. “She’s a part of our home, love. Of course you’ll miss her.”

 

Stede made a sad noise before leaning in to press a kiss to Ed’s cheek. “I’m going to go wake her and take her out to the animals with me. You know she’s befriended that godforsaken goat?”

 

As Stede disappeared out of the kitchen, Ed chuckled to himself. 

 

What a life he was living.

Notes:

one chapter left, and it's already 75% written, so we have less than a week until this story comes to her timely and well-earned end. i can't believe that.

as always, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed (and that the sixteen-day wait was worth it!)

feel free to stop by on twitter @pluviophiliced and give me all your thoughts and feelings and tell me how much you love our boys :)

Chapter 10: Eternal

Summary:

a happy ending

Notes:

this is it, folks

There comes a time, dear reader, when even our favorite stories come to their finale. Some of these stories have happily ever afters, in line with fairy tales, an incredible and devastating departure from reality. This is not one such story.

 

Don’t fret, dear reader, over happily ever afters. A happy ending awaits you yet.

 

It was a sunny, crisp Saturday morning after Jo’s first week at her school when Stede suggested the three go apple picking, coercing Ed into promising a fresh apple pie with whatever treasures they return home with.

 

Ed didn’t mind, not really, though he planned to milk Stede for all he was worth in repayment. 

 

It had been ten months since Ed had met Stede Bonnet. He didn’t remember when he fell in love with him—not the exact moment—but he knew he never wanted to know a life without the man in it again. Watching him hoist the thirteen year old onto his shoulder—which, fuck —was truly something else.

 

Jo turned to look for Ed. “Do you need the bigger apples?”

 

Ed chuckled. “Depends how much pie you want, kid.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him and then suddenly he was catching apples as they fell from the sky, Jo cackling as one smacked him on the head.

 

“Jo!”

 

“My bad!” 

 

Ed could see Stede’s shoulders shaking with laughter and he sighed. “Spending time with the two of you is a circle of hell sometimes.”

 

Stede turned to glance at him. “You love us.”

 

“Yeah,” Ed breathed. “I do.”

 

They went home with more apples than Ed knew what to do with. Jo nodded off in the backseat, a bottle of apple cider in her lap. John had informed them that her case would remain in the works for a few more months at least, with trial dates pushed back and near-constant other delays as well. In some selfish part of him, Ed was happy to have her around. In some other part of him, a part he refused to look at too closely, he knew he was growing too attached to the girl. 

 

“You okay?” Stede asked, about half an hour from the house. “You’ve been quiet.”

 

“Just thinking.” Ed scrubbed a hand over his face. “What happens if they prove abuse and her dad goes away?”

 

“She’ll go into the system. Her only other living relative is her father’s mother, and she’s in a home, so she can’t take over as caretaker.”

 

Ed turned to face Stede, blinking. “She’ll go into the system? Stede, we can’t let that—”

 

Stede cut him off. “I know.” He glanced sideways at Ed. “We have time to figure something out. If nothing else, Lucy and Petal are foster parents. They can volunteer to take her.”

 

Ed sat back silently, chewing on his lip. “I guess.”

 

Stede reached over, squeezing Ed’s knee and leaving his hand resting there. “We’ll make sure she’s somewhere safe, sweetheart, I promise.”

*******

Ed’s hip bones ached where they were pressed against the edge of the altar. He could feel Stede’s hip bones pressed against his ass, digging in as Stede ground himself forward, deep inside Ed. They had both already come, and Ed tingled with oversensitivity.

 

“Have to stay inside you to stop any from dripping out if we want it to take,” Stede murmured, draping himself forward over Ed. “Imagine it, you bearing my children, swollen with my seed. You were made for me, Edward, made perfectly for me. You would be exquisite pregnant.”

 

Ed hiccupped a gasp as Stede ground forward again. 

 

“Right here under the eyes of God, hm?” Stede continued, trailing a hand up to caress Ed’s throat. “Taking me so well, being so good. Practically the image of divinity.” He nipped at the sensitive skin beneath Ed’s ear. “You’ll be such a perfect father.”

 

A strangled sobbing moan ripped itself from Ed’s throat as he canted his hips back against Stede. He’d never considered fatherhood, never thought it could be possible so he never let himself think about it, but to hear the words on Stede’s tongue…

 

“Want to give you a baby,” he groaned, collapsing forward. “Want to raise a kid with you.”

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Stede’s breath hitched in his ear. “I know you do.”

*******

“We could adopt, you know,” Stede said the next day, after coming home from dropping Jo off at school. “If you really wanted a baby.”

 

Ed blinked up at him from the kitchen table. “I—that’s—what?”

 

Stede half-shrugged, a light blush forming on his face. A tentative Stede was not one Ed saw often, especially these days. “I know it was a sex thing, but you know. Just—if that was something you wanted to pursue. We could. Adopt a kid. Or become long-term guardians.”

 

“They prefer married couples, I think,” Ed replied, looking back down at his laptop.

 

“So marry me.”

 

Ed whipped his head back up so fast the room spun. “What?”

 

Stede crossed to him, gripped his chin in one hand and tilted his head up. “Marry me.”

 

“Marry you.”

 

“Marry me.”

 

Ed gaped. “You haven’t even known me a year.”

 

Stede’s grip on Ed’s chin tightened, but just barely. “I know that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you and spending time with you and taking care of the animals with you. A life without you in it is hardly a life at all. I want to spend every day of the rest of my time here with you, kissing you good morning and good night. I want to make you soup when you’re sick. I want to wash your underwear. I want to fight with you until three in the morning when we’re too tired to continue fighting so we go to bed instead. I want to do taxes with you.”

 

Ed stared at him, mouth ajar, eyes stinging.

 

“So, marry me,” Stede finished softly. “Marry me.”

 

“God, Stede,” Ed gasped. “Yes, yeah, yes, I’ll marry you, fuck yes, of course I will.”

 

“Yes? Yes? ” 

 

“Yes.”

*******

Ed kissed up the inside of Stede’s thigh, rubbing his thumb in tight circles on the side of his knee. Stede’s hand found its way into his hair, scratching along his scalp and Ed sighed in contentment. He inhaled slowly at the juncture of Ed’s thigh and groin, taking in the heady scent of Stede: heavy and thick and heady. Overwhelming.

 

Ed’s mouth watered.

 

He darted his tongue out, tasting Stede’s skin and taking it between his teeth, biting down to hear Stede gasp. He brushed his nose through the curls at the base of Stede’s cock, basking in the heat radiating from his lover. 

 

From his fiancé. 

 

“Ed, please.” Stede’s voice is soft, a bit broken. It sends tingles down Ed’s spine. “Ed, your mouth, please .”

 

He was a vision like that, splayed out under Ed, gentle and quiet and trembling. Still in charge to some extent, but offering himself to Ed to do with what he would. Ed pulled away, looking up at Stede’s face and meeting his heavy-lidded gaze. The blond was flushed, a deep pink spreading from high on his cheekbones down over his chest. He was beautiful. 

 

Ed loved him. 

 

Reaching to the side, Ed wrapped his hand around the little bottle of lube he had pulled out, coating his fingers. Meeting Stede’s gaze once more, Ed moved his slick fingers to Stede’s entrance, rejoicing in the shaky breath Stede released at the new contact. He pressed another kiss into Stede’s thigh as he slid the first finger past the ring of muscle at Stede’s entrance. Always relaxed under Ed’s touch, Stede opened easily, and Ed quickly added a second finger.

 

Stede’s body swallowed his fingers to the hilt and Ed gazed down at where his hand disappeared inside of Stede and groaned. 

 

“You’re so beautiful, Stede, fuckin’ intoxicating.” He twisted his hand. “I can’t believe I get to have you.”

 

“For the rest of your life, sweetheart,” Stede panted. “Rest of our lives.”

 

“Fuck,” Ed groaned softly. He sank his head down and swallowed Stede’s cock, sparking a sharp cry from the other man. Swirling his tongue around the shaft and sucking tightly at the head, Ed set a pace that matched the movement of his fingers dragging over Stede’s walls. 

 

Stede bucked his hips up into Ed’s throat and Ed withdrew, coaxing a drawn-out whine from the man below him. Stede looked debauched. His flush had only grown deeper and his chest was heaving. He was beautiful, a vision. Ed wanted to build altars to his image.

 

He lined himself up with Stede’s entrance and sank in slowly, pressing in until his hips were flush against Stede’s and the piercing through the head of his cock dragged along Stede’s inner walls, making him shudder. The piercing was especially sensitive lately, having been removed so often for sounding purposes, and it had been so long since he’d been buried inside Stede that it was practically new. Stede’s hand came up to flick one of the barbells in Ed’s chest, jolting him back to reality and the situation at hand.

 

“C’mon Edward,” Stede murmured. “ Fuck. Me.”

 

With a growl, Ed dragged his hips backward until only the head of his cock was still inside him, pausing just long enough that Stede opened his mouth to make another complaint. Ed drove back in with force, knocking the breath from Stede’s lungs with a loud groan. Stede’s head fell back with a gasp. Ed sank his fingertips into Stede’s hips and set a brutal pace, the way he knew Stede liked. The gasps and mewls leaving Stede’s lips had Ed on edge within fifteen strokes and he fell forward, pushing as deep as possible into Stede. From this angle, he could fuck him deep, dragging over every inch of his insides.

 

“I love you,” he said into Stede’s ear, pressing kisses to his cheek and throat. “I love you, I love you.” Stede whined, clenching around him and chasing his mouth. “I love you,” Ed said again against his fiancé’s lips.

 

When Stede came, it was with a strangled cry of Ed’s name and tears on his cheeks.

 

When Ed followed him over, it was with a soft sigh.

*******

Jo asked for a Halloween movie marathon and had begged for classic horror, and Ed was not the kind of man to ever tell her no. Stede was not thrilled when he showed back up at the house with a large New York style pepperoni pizza to find Jo and Ed splayed on the couch watching Nightmare on Elm Street.

 

“The special effects are awful, Stede,” Ed said as he plated pizza for Jo, grabbing a can of Dr. Pepper from the fridge. “It’s basically not even real horror.”

 

“Edward.” Stede fixed him with a look. “It’s still horror.”

 

“Stede.” Ed picked up his plate and Jo’s, having stuck her soda in his pocket. “She’s fine. She’s loving it.” He leaned in to press a kiss to his fiancé’s mouth. “If she wakes up scared in the middle of the night then you get to be the good dad who hugs her and makes her hot chocolate and complains about how irresponsible the other parent is.”

 

He watched the warm look come over Stede’s face.

 

“You’d be a good dad too,” Stede replied softly. Ed winked, heading for the living room.

 

Jo accepted her food and made a face at Ed when he produced the can from his pocket, but quickly turned back to the movie, redirecting her focus where it was most important. Stede settled carefully next to Ed on the couch, paying attention not to jostle the couch or Ed’s plate too much. When they both finished, Stede placed both plates on the side table before nestling under Ed’s arm and leaning his head on his shoulder. Ed wrapped his arm tightly around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

 

It was a good night. Jo took four slices of pizza and eventually fell asleep on the floor just before the credits rolled, and Ed heard an answering snore from the man asleep with his head on his shoulder and chuckled to himself. Slowly, gently, he shifted Stede to rest on the back of the couch before gathering plates and soda cans and disposing of them. When everything had been put away, he crouched down and lifted Jo into his arms to carry her to her room. He drew her blankets up around her, tucking her carefully in and pressing a barely-there kiss to her forehead. She shifted, blinking up at him.

 

“Ed? Time’s’it?”

 

“Little before midnight, kid,” Ed said softly. “Figured you didn’t wanna sleep where you passed out on the living room floor, huh?”

 

She hummed sleepily, her eyes sinking shut once more. “Thanks, Ed. Love ya.”

 

For a few moments, he stood at the foot of her bed, staring at her. His chest was too tight and too warm, his heart twisting and his stomach rolling. He swallowed. “Love you too, kid,” he finally whispered, though it sounded like a shout in the silent room. 

 

Back in the living room, he roused Stede, who blinked up at him from under heavy eyelids. Ed helped him stand, shutting off the lamp as he did. He wrapped an arm around Stede’s waist, leading him down the hall to their room. Stede stripped to his briefs before falling into bed, and Ed followed suit. 

 

Stede curled up against his chest, pressing a sloppy kiss to Ed’s collarbone. “Love you,” he whispered. “Can’t believe you’re marryin’ me.”

 

Ed scoffed. “I would marry you every day if you asked me to.”

 

“Maybe I will,” Stede hummed.

 

Ed held him close, pressing his lips to his forehead until the other man’s breath evened out in sleep. In the dark bedroom, laying under his grandmother’s quilt with the love of his life, Ed allowed himself to sink into the warmth of his life. The luck he found by crashing into Stede’s life. The love he found in the arms of this strange, funny little man. As the night inched past, Ed wrapped himself in the warmth of being loved.

*******

“Thanks, Roach, that’s…I can’t thank you enough for this,” Stede said, maintaining eye contact with Ed as he hung up the phone.

 

“Well?” Ed asked.

 

Stede set his phone on the table before crossing the kitchen and sweeping Ed up in his arms, pressing kisses over every inch of his face. “They’re serving the restraining order this week. You’re free, sweetheart, you’re safe.”

 

Ed blinked. “I’m—holy fuck.”

 

“I am so proud of you, Edward,” Stede said, pulling back to cup his fiancé’s face. “You’re so amazing.”

 

“I can’t believe—I mean, holy fuck ,” Ed repeated. “They’re serving it?”

 

“You never have to see that bastard again—and if you do, you can have his ass arrested for it,” Stede promised, matter-of-factly. “You’re goddamn free.”

 

To his horror, tears began to stream down Ed’s face as he stared at Stede. Beautiful, wonderful, generous Stede, who had cornered his lawyer one morning with a host of evidence to support a restraining order against a certain Pastor Teach, in protection of one Edward Teach. It had taken weeks to get handled, but it was done. It was done, and Ed was, to the fullest extent he had ever known, free.

 

With a small smile, Stede cradled Ed’s jaw and swiped at his tears with his thumbs, leaning forward to press their lips together. He stayed silent, content to just exist in this moment with Ed as he processed the news. Ed could not take his eyes off the other man’s face. He wanted to marry him right there in their kitchen, just the two of them, wrapped in one another.

 

“I love you.” His voice was soft, throat raw with tears. Raw with love and adoration and disbelief and awe . “Stede, I love you so goddamn much.” His voice broke. Shattered, more like, and he dissolved into sobs.

 

“Oh, my darling,” Stede murmured, tugging him tight against his chest. “I love you. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

 

And he was .

*******

It was Jo’s fault, really, that Ed had developed a particular affinity for playing his classic rock playlist any time he was in the kitchen longer than ten minutes. It was also Jo’s fault, coincidentally, that Ed had lost a bet with the teenager and got stuck cleaning the kitchen after an afternoon of intensive baking and an elaborate stew for dinner. He was on the last cursory wipedown of the counters and rinsing of the sponge when Stede finally joined him in the kitchen, coming up behind him at the sink and wrapping his arms around his waist. 

 

“Hello darling,” Stede murmured into his ear. 

 

Ed leaned back against him. “My love.”

 

Stede nosed at the juncture between Ed’s neck and shoulder, leaving a trail of light kisses. He tightened his arms around Ed’s waist and Ed leaned his head against Stede’s, a small smile on his face. He could feel Stede humming along to the Bon Jovi song playing, his chest vibrating against Ed’s back. Stede began to sway the two of them as Ed shut off the faucet, reaching for the dish towel and beginning to wipe down the last few dishes to set aside.

 

The Bon Jovi song ended, ticking over into an R.E.M. tune well-known by both men. 

 

Oh, life is bigger,

it’s bigger than you

and you are not me.

The lengths that I will go to,

The distance in your eyes,

Oh no, I’ve said too much.

I set it up.

 

Ed began to sing along quietly as he dried, setting the final dish aside and allowing Stede to spin him around, circling his arms around Stede’s shoulders. Stede pressed his forehead against Ed’s as he continued to spin and sway the two of them around the kitchen.

 

“You know,” Ed said quietly. “I spent my whole life trying to dedicate myself to this god and his teachings that I was never really sure I believed in, but I never knew religion until I fell in love with you.” He paused. “I guess you could say I lost my religion, huh?”

 

I thought that I heard you laughing.

I thought that I heard you sing.

I think I thought I saw you try.

 

Stede didn’t reply, just pressed a gentle kiss to Ed’s lips as they continued to dance in the dark kitchen, only lit by the stovetop light. Ed allowed himself to be maneuvered around the kitchen, gently directed in whichever way Stede wanted to go, their bodies pressed together as they moved. It was something out of a movie.

 

It was something Ed would never have believed he could ever have been lucky enough to have—not in this life or the next.

 

Stede pulled away, heading toward the hall, where he turned to face Ed again. “Are you coming?”

 

That’s me in the corner.

That’s me in spotlight,

losing my religion.

Trying to keep up with you

And I don’t know if I can do it.

Oh no, I’ve said too much.

 

Ed looked at the beautiful man in the doorway, looking at him with a soft smile on his face, and he thought about growing up and thinking that love must be a punishment if it looked anything like his parents. Getting older and realizing that wasn’t love and that he didn’t know what love looked like, realizing he wouldn’t recognize love when he was faced with it.

 

He thought about angry goats and cows with bad posture and elaborate crucifixes hanging over altars in empty chapels, and shopping in thrift stores for pajama pants and work shirts and teenage girls with a sharp wit and a big heart.

 

He thought about purple blankets and chicken and dumplings and a confessional.

 

But that was just a dream,

just a dream.

 

“Of course I am,” Ed said softly. “I’d follow you anywhere.” He accepted Stede’s extended hand and followed him to bed.

 

Notes:

i cannot believe we’re here. this was a silly little passion project that i started writing just because i wanted to for myself, and i am so incredibly in awe of every single one of you that came along with me on this journey. thank you for loving them with me.

as per usual, you can come find me on twitter @pluviophiliced, feel free to stop by and tell me how much you’ll miss them like i will!!

Chapter 11: Epilogue

Summary:

It’s not a happy ending without a happy new beginning, right?

Notes:

happy birthday, my beloved char

The day the papers went through started the same as any other—with a bit more anxiety than usual on Ed’s part. He could tell Stede felt it too, his fiancé— fiancé!!— fidgeting in the kitchen and being all-around more short-tempered than he ever had been before. Ed found Stede and Jo at odds in the kitchen over the milk on the counter before he had even changed out of his pajamas.

 

“— Not that urgent, Stede!” Jo’s arms were crossed, and Ed immediately felt his chest tighten. He hated when the two fought. “Give me five more fu—freakin’ minutes and I’ll put it away!”

 

“Milk left on the counter goes bad, Jo, and I expect you to put it back where it belongs when I ask you to do so. This isn’t frivolous, there’s a reason it goes back in the fridge.”

 

“Okay but I’m still using it!”

 

“It should have gone back in the fridge before the second bowl of cereal!” Stede’s voice shook as he raised it just barely—hardly enough that it would have even registered to anybody else. “It was just sitting out and it could have gone—”

 

Ed cleared his throat and both people in the kitchen whipped to face him. “Good morning, gang, how are we doing?”

 

Stede’s cheeks flushed and he looked at his feet. His shoulders slumped. “Good morning, Edward.”

 

Ed entered the kitchen, placing a kiss on the top of Jo’s head before wrapping his arms around Stede and squeezing. The other man pressed into him easily, relaxing into his touch and sighing. For a moment, Ed weighed his options, before winking at Jo.

 

“Finish your breakfast and then hit the animals, sound good to you, kiddo? I’ll figure out what’s up with Oscar the Grouch.” Jo huffed, grabbing the milk and returning to her spot at the table. “Alright now,” Ed murmured against Stede’s ear. “Bedroom, please.”

 

It wasn’t often that Ed had to step in and take control from Stede. It was once in a blue moon, if that. Ed slid his hand down to Stede’s wrist, squeezing softly and leading him toward their bedroom. Since Jo had moved in, they had taken the precaution of soundproofing the bedroom—and double-soundproofing the chapel—and had established a strict in emergencies only policy on entering the bedroom when the door was shut. It had only taken one close call (it wasn’t a close call—Ed had panicked at hearing Jo in her own room and Stede had decided enough was enough). Shutting the door softly behind them, Ed turned to look at Stede, fixing him with a look.

 

Stede had an expression like a petulant child. “What?”

 

Ed quirked an eyebrow. “You’re picking fights with a kid.”

 

A scoff. “She started it.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

 

“I—” He paused, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Edward, I’m sorry, Jesus, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Stede sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “I really don’t know why I’m so short today.”

 

Ed crouched in front of him, wincing as his knee tugged. “I know exactly what’s up with you. You’re waiting on a call. I get it, I’m tense too. Doesn’t mean you can be a dick to the kid.”

 

Stede opened his eyes and blinked at Ed. “I really didn’t mean to.” He spoke quietly, his voice trembling just the barest bit. “She deserves so much better than me, Ed.”

 

“Hey,” Ed spoke sharply, hand flying up to grip Stede’s chin. “Don’t you dare say that shit to me.” He paused, looking at Stede critically and waiting. “Are you having doubts?”

 

“Oh god, absolutely not, Ed, how could you think that of me?” Stede wrenched his face out of Ed’s grasp.

 

“I don’t,” Ed said simply. “I know better. I was making sure you knew better.” He placed his hands on Stede’s thighs, rubbing up and down, only getting slightly distracted at the powerful muscles there. “You’re anxious because you love the kid and you want the best for her. You’re doubting yourself because you’re a good person and you want the best for her. You’re on edge because you want the best for her. Stede,” Ed waited until he had eye contact again. “You’re going to be the best dad.”

 

Stede scoffed. “Guardian,” he corrected quietly.

 

Ed chuckled and squeezed Stede’s thigh. “Guardian. You hear me?” A nod from Stede. Ed stood again, straightening out his knee and pushing Stede back to lay flat. He straddled Stede’s hips, looking down at him. “You need to relax before you take someone’s head off. Over milk, Stede, really?”

 

It was something new for them—mocking Stede. There were specific situations and specific situations only and even those were few and far between. Hardly ever.

 

Stede whimpered, just barely audible under his breath. Ed smirked.

 

“I mean really, love,” Ed drew Stede’s shirt up, bunching it under his armpits so his nipples were exposed. “A grown man, picking a fight over milk? And here I thought you were supposed to be someone powerful and important.” He flicked a nipple and Stede moaned. “Shame on me, I guess.”

 

“Ed, I—”

 

“Hush.” Ed closed his fingers around both nipples and twisted. “Aren’t you always talking about how patience is a virtue and we all should be obedient? What, can’t put your money where your mouth is? Shame.” He leaned down until his mouth was barely above Stede’s, taking a moment to feel Stede’s breath as he panted against him. “Guess we’ll have to find something to do with your mouth instead, then.”

 

Reaching for a pillow and tucking it under Stede’s head, Ed re-situated himself so he was kneeling straddled in front of Stede’s head, his briefs tucked under his balls. Stede was flushed, cheeks pink and mouth open, eyes blown wide. He was practically drooling. Ed felt the barest brush of Stede’s hands against his thighs before they disappeared again, and he grinned.

 

“You can hold on if you must. I’m going to fuck your throat either way.” The hands returned, and Ed canted his hips forward to brush the head of his cock against Stede’s lips, enjoying the sparkle of his prince albert against the slick pink backdrop. He pushed the head of his cock past Stede’s lips before pulling it back out, just to feel his lips catch on his piercing once, twice, three times. When he finally sank in, Stede let out a low groan as his eyelids fluttered, opening easily for Ed’s cock and taking him to the hilt. He only gagged a bit.

 

Ed sat there for a moment, waiting until Stede’s eyes fluttered back open and blinked up blearily at Ed. Stede’s throat worked around Ed’s cock like he wanted to take it deeper.

 

“Whore my cock, aren’t you?” Ed murmured quietly, running his thumb over the seam of Stede’s mouth around his cock. “Look at you, literally gagging for it.” He lowered his voice. “Does Jesus know you’re a whore, Father?”

 

Stede’s eyes watered as he tried to whine around Ed’s cock and Ed pressed even further forward, smothering the noise in Stede’s throat. Drool collected at the corners of Stede’s mouth, beginning to slide down his chin, and Ed grinned. He pulled back slowly before he began to fuck Stede’s face in earnest, burying himself to the hilt each time just to hear Stede gag. He buried a hand in Stede’s hair, tugging until his head was at the perfect angle. The noises coming from Stede’s mouth were absurd. Vulgar. Ed has a passing thought that they should have paid double what they did for the soundproofing for the peace of mind alone.

 

“Look at you, Stede, taking my cock like a champ. Choking on it and not complaining even a bit,” Ed panted. “Almost like you’re made for this. What’s that saying, God makes no mistakes? He certainly knew what he was doing with that throat of yours, fuck, wish you could see yourself, see how fucked out you look—and all for me, hm? No one else gets to see you like this, big strong dom reduced to a throat for me to fuck and nothing else, aren’t you?” He buried himself deep once more. “Aren’t you, Father?”

 

Three more thrusts and Ed spilled down Stede’s throat, gazing at the tears on Stede’s cheeks, blotchy and red. He drew his cock out, rubbing the tip of it over Stede’s lips again, smiling when Stede’s tongue darted out and over the piercing again. His eyes were glassy as he looked up at Ed, but his face was relaxed. Calm. 

 

“There we go, love,” Ed murmured. “Isn’t that better?” Stede whined softly in answer, and Ed laughed. “I know, sweetheart, give me a moment.” He crawled from the bed, crouching in front of Stede once more and without bothering to tug his pants down further than his thighs, Ed swallowed him down. It was hardly two minutes before Stede was locking up, coming down Ed’s throat with a soft cry. 

 

Ed tucked him away, tugged his pants back up, and then hauled up further up the bed. He opened their bedroom door and paused, but the house was silent. Climbing back into their bed, Ed situated Stede against his chest and pulled his favorite blanket over the both of them, carding his fingers through Stede’s hair. The difference in these scenes was that Ed needed this close, cuddly aftercare possibly even more than Stede did. After their first scene of this nature, Ed had cried and it had taken an hour for Stede to calm him down, and he had then sworn that he would never ask for it from Ed again. They had since adjusted. 

 

It was a while before Stede spoke, breaking the silence of the room. With his face still hidden in Ed’s chest, he squeezed Ed’s side.

 

“What if she doesn’t want me?” It wasn’t the first time it had come up. Not even the third, or fifth. Each time still felt like a blow to Ed’s sternum.

 

“That’s why you’re taking guardianship and not adopting. So she has a say in it. You’ve thought this through, love, you’re giving her the reins.” Ed pressed a kiss to the top of Stede’s head, squeezing him tightly to his body. “But if you ask me, there’s no way she doesn’t want you.”

 

Jo had been with them almost ten months. Emergency placement had turned into long term care, and neither Stede nor Ed had minded in the slightest. 

 

“But what if she’s not happy here?”

 

“She would have said something. Either to one of us or to John. You know she doesn’t hold back.”

 

Stede sighed softly. “I want her to be happy.”

 

Ed’s heart clenched. “Yeah, love, I know. She will be.”

*******

The call came as Stede was getting dressed after he showered. He stared at Ed, frozen, eyes glancing from his phone to Ed’s face and back. 

 

“You have to answer it, sweetheart,” Ed murmured. “I’ll be right out in the kitchen either way, okay?”

 

Stede nodded, mute, and Ed headed for the kitchen. He tried not to consider what would happen if the news on the phone was bad. He tried not to consider what that would do to Stede. His heart throbbed in his chest. 

 

Jo was coming in the back door when Ed entered the kitchen. “Why do you look like you’re going to vomit?” She asked warily, one eyebrow hitching up.

 

Ed furrowed his brow. “Debating whether or not to vomit on you, to be honest.”

 

She made a face. “You’re fuckin’ gross.”

 

“Hey! Don’t let him hear you say that shit,” Ed scolded. He sat at the table, watching Jo and trying not to strain his ears listening to the happenings in the bedroom. The soundproof bedroom. Maybe he had been a little carried away with his thanks for the soundproofing.

 

“You look weird.” Jo settled across the table from him. “What are you hiding?”

 

“I’m not hiding anything, smartass. Why do you always think someone’s hiding something?”

 

“I dunno, something something abused kid, something something bad childhood, something something trauma,” she shrugged. “Take your pick, old man.”

 

“You’re a smartass.”

 

“Wow, creative, twice in two sentences!” 

 

Ed stuck his tongue out. Jo stuck hers out back. The bedroom door clicked open, and they both froze, turning to stare down the hallway. Stede appeared in the doorway, looking dazed, and Ed stood so quickly that his chair toppled backward.

 

Stede blinked. “Er—”

 

Ed moved toward him, gripping his hand. “Stede?”

 

Jo piped up from the table. “Okay seriously, what the fuck is happening here?”

 

“Hey, language!” Ed hissed, but Stede said nothing. “Stede, seriously, you’re scaring me, love.”

 

“Stede?” Jo’s voice was softer this time, almost timid. Scared. Something Jo should never have to be. “What happened?”

 

Stede cleared his throat and seemed to shake himself awake. He squeezed Ed’s hand, looking at Jo. “Jo, do you remember when you were asked about long term care, and you told John you wanted to stay here if we would take you?”

 

Ed turned to look at Jo and found her nodding. He saw her face drop, then go carefully blank as she straightened up in her chair. “Are they—are you—am I leaving?” Her voice was flat. Ed felt Stede panic before the other man was gone from his touch, crouching in front of Jo.

 

“Oh, darling, no, never that,” he said firmly. “Never, ever that. Quite the opposite, actually. See, I actually—well. Ed and I have applied to be your permanent guardians. We don’t want—we don’t want you to ever have to go anywhere, ever again. If you don’t want to. We love you, Jo, very much, and you’re as much a part of our family as Tipsy.”

 

“You’re more a part of the family than Tipsy, Jo,” Ed interjected with a pointed look at the back of Stede’s head.

 

“Yes, yes, anyway,” Stede took a deep breath. “Eventually, we would like to adopt you, if—if you’ll have us. But that’s entirely your decision. For now, permanent guardianship. That’s the option to leave when you turn eighteen and never have to look behind you, if that’s what you want, but until then, you will be a part of this family. And we—well,” Stede glanced at Ed before looking back at Jo. “John just called. We’ve been approved. We just have to go into town and pick up the final documents some time this week, but for now—well, forever, actually, you er—you can stay. This is your home. Officially.”

 

Jo’s mouth was open as she stared at Stede, before glancing up at Ed, a question on her face. Ed nodded, giving her a hopeful smile, before it was wiped from his face when she burst into tears. Ed lurched forward, reaching for her, but stopping just short of grabbing her. 

 

“Jo?” He said softly. He rested a hand on Stede’s shoulder and could feel him shaking violently. He squeezed, trying to reassure his fiancé, but his own heart was in his throat. “Jo, are you okay?”

 

“I—” She hiccupped, swiping quickly at her eyes, but continued sobbing. “You really— fuck!— you want to keep me?” There was snot smeared under her nose and her face was swollen from crying, and Ed wanted to hug her so hard he could swallow her whole and protect her from everything that had ever hurt her. “You want me—you want—you want me to be in your family?”

 

“Oh, kiddo,” Ed breathed. “We want nothing more.”

 

Still sobbing, Jo pitched forward, wrapping her arms around Stede. Stede gazed at Ed, dazed, his own eyes filled with tears. Ed smiled, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Slowly, Stede stood and, holding out an arm, wrapped Ed into the hug. The three of them stood in the kitchen, in various states of crying, as the sun continued to move across the sky.

 

Outside of that little house with the chapel in the yard and the farm animals in the barn, the world continued on the way it always had. The air hadn’t changed and the sun continued to shine, and there were people on their way to work and there were people at home in bed. There were mothers somewhere, scolding their children, and young couples making out in the back of abandoned classrooms.

 

But in one little house with a chapel in the yard and farm animals in the barn, there was a little family—three broken people who had learned that life goes on—and their world would never be the same.

Notes:

okay, okay, now she’s done. at least…this time around.

come find me on twitter or tumblr @pluviophiliced

as always, you all have all my love. see you around the block.

Notes:

this story is now complete at 10 chapters. this has been such a great journey and i have loved every moment, thank you for reading along and loving my ed and stede as i do. all my love xx

come say hi on twitter (@pluviophiliced) or tumblr (@pluviophiliced)!!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of and i will raise you up on the last day