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More to Tell

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“It seems like there is more to tell here. There have been hints - were you ever romantically or sexually involved with Laura Ashworth?”

“Yeah, I was with Laura for a while, back in the days of The Noize, but wasn’t everyone? Didn’t we all try to have our way with her? She’s a siren, Laura is. And I was the first one to get her because, you know, Chris put her off; he was too wild, too out there. But she came to write about us and next thing I knew we two were on this spree, this what, two, three-week long thing. Chris wasn’t speaking to me, he’d gotten angry ‘bout something, and what was I to do? I let this siren take me. It was great fun until it came time for me and her to realize what it was really all about. We had sex a lot, yeah, but I was high as fuck the whole time. And then one night we’re just lying there in bed, and I’m coming down hard – I was doing heroin then, and it made me crash bad – and she’s smoking a joint and as she offers it to me she goes ‘You don’t even like me, do you?’ to which I replied ‘And do you me?’ because of course she didn’t, not really. She wanted to take care of me – that’s all Laura ever wants, when you get right down to it – but she got in bed with me because that’s just what you do. You smoke and drink and play music and get high and then you get in bed with somebody. And then we were at a stand-still, because neither of us really wanted each other. And I didn’t want her taking care of me – I never wanted that in my life. And then she looks at me with those eyes of hers – she sees a lot – and she says ‘you want Chris’ and I don’t say anything. Once Laura’s got you pegged, she’s got you. And she had me pegged. So she looks at me for a lot longer, and I’m sucking down the pot as fast as I can go because I’m not having much fun and I’m getting a headache, and she goes – and this was Laura for you, she talked like this, so straightforward – ‘You don’t even like girls! What are you doing in bed with me?’ and I laughed, and she laughed.”
“We were pretty good friends after that, though we never got back into bed together. Sometimes when we got drunk we’d be kissing, you know, but it never got further. We talked a lot. And Chris got over himself pretty quick and came back to me… and then, well, he was gone again, then back… always in and out. Then he went through that stint in lockup after being such an idiot with the drugs, and we were just done all of a sudden. And he got with Laura after that, Laura who I told how much I missed him, how much I wanted him back, how I was afraid for him if he stayed away from me – because for all our problems I could keep him in line, get him settled down, I knew what worked…”
He stops for a long moment, and rubs his neck. “You know. I got it. Laura… she wants to take care of people, yeah, but there’s some things she just can’t get, never could, and she has this habit of up and leaving when things get to their worst. It’s just self-preservation; she’s better at it than anyone else I’ve ever met. I’m shit at it, myself.” He sighs, now, a true and long sigh, and closes his eyes briefly.
“She was hurtful. Before and after – you know, after he took the cruise in the reservoir. I don’t think that, for all our talking, for all her intimacy with Chris, she even quite understood either of us – Chris or me, or the two of us together - and not our triangle, either, me and her and him. She just didn’t get it, and when Laura goes into something not understanding, she can cause a lot of problems.”