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Buffet Creed

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Ever since Connor found out that his roommates had been slacking off on their workout routines, he decided to crack down. Of course, Connor wasn't completely cruel; he knew their limits, and would treat them to a hearty meal after they were done. He'd always make sure they loaded up on their protein as well. They were members of the Assassin Order, so they should act like it. Although they weren't running around killing people as their ancestors had done, they still needed to stay in shape.

And so, Connor started a daily routine, and made sure to keep a close eye on Ezio, whom he had discovered was becoming slightly chubby from lack of any major activity. Altaïr couldn't be bothered to whip them into shape, and Desmond was just about as lazy as Ezio.

At the end of the week's workout, Leonardo had wandered into the boys' apartment. He invited himself in, and sat on the couch beside Malik, who had arrived not too long ago. They were supposed to go out for dinner that night, but Connor decided that he was going to spring a last minute workout.

Desmond groaned from the beanbag chair in the corner, and Ezio voiced his disgust quite angrily. Altaïr was the only one who moved, and he helped Connor round up the boys.

Within five minutes, all four were in the park across the street, dressed in track suits. Malik and Leonardo had decided to come along, since they didn't want to be left alone in the apartment.

Ezio, unfortunately, kept getting distracted by Leonardo, who was sitting on a bench across from them. It wasn't his fault, per say; Leonardo was just asking to be admired.

He sat with his legs slightly crossed on a bench, and his blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail to keep the wind from ruining it. He wore a red beanie, and had a very fashionable green shirt on. He was beaming, and staring straight at Ezio. He had his hands in his lap, and would occasionally lift one hand up to wave every now and then.

"Leonardo you're distracting him." Connor called, mid push-up.

"He is not!" Ezio flopped over on his stomach and buried his face in the blossoms that littered the grass.

"Yes he is." Connor stood up and stretched.

"Connor stop being such a prick." Ezio mumbled. "I'm hungry, can we go now? We were supposed to leave an hour ago for dinner." The Italian whined. "Everyone is starving, even Leo! And Leo's never hungry."

Leonardo blushed and shook his head. "I'm not sure where you got that idea, but I can assure you it's not true." He cleared his throat. "I can wait until you are done."

Altaïr finished his reps and stood up, nudging Ezio with his foot. "Yeah, look at Malik. He's absolutely famished." He lowered his voice. "I can tell from that sour frown he has on his face."

Malik tossed a water bottle at Altaïr and frowned more. "Shut up, I heard that! Just finish your exercise already."

"Anyway." Connor cleared his throat. "Leo, would you mind," he gestured with his chin towards a nearby playground.

"Oh. Of course." Leonardo got up with a sad smile and began to shuffle away.

"You can still watch, just don't let Ezio see you." Connor whispered.

Leonardo winked and walked alongside Malik, who had already started towards the playground after he had thrown his water bottle.

Ezio began to groan, and Connor loomed over him. Ezio sat cross legged on the grass and pouted.

"Don't give me that look. Let's finish with a small jog."

They all nodded, Ezio somewhat reluctantly, and set off.

By the time they were done, each assassin was worn out, not to mention extremely hungry. Surprisingly, Altaïr complained the most; perhaps because Malik was present.

They each took some time to freshen up, and then piled into Ezio's car, which was just big enough to fit all of them. Leonardo sat in the very back with Connor, and Desmond, Altaïr and Malik shared the middle row.

"Where to?" Ezio called from the front as he pulled out of the communal parking area.

"I'm treating today, so pick whatever you want." Connor shrugged.

After a while of aimless driving, Ezio pulled into a market plaza and drove around, inspecting each restaurant.

"That one has an all you can eat buffet special." Connor mused.

Without warning, Ezio swerved into a parking spot directly in front of the restaurant in question and screeched to a stop. He turned around in his seat with a sly smile as he put the vehicle in park. "Let's go."

Malik grumbled something about almost being killed in the car, and Leonardo warned him to be more careful next time he decided to make a maneuver like that. Ezio simply chuckled and ushered them out of the car, locking it behind them.

"Table for 6." Connor requested. "Booth please."

"Right this way." A cheery waiter gave him an odd look as the rest of his party followed them. "Would you all like the buffet special tonight?"

Connor simply nodded, and the waiter wrote down something in his notepad.

"The drinks are in the corner, by the dessert table." He smiled. "Enjoy!"

Ezio grabbed Leonardo's wrist eagerly and briskly led him towards the buffet, with Desmond following closely behind. Connor sighed and rolled his eyes, shuffling towards the buffet as well, leaving Altaïr and Malik alone at the table.

"Are you really hungry?" Altaïr asked awkwardly.

Malik raised his eyebrows. "I haven't eaten since lunchtime." He thumbed the bridge of his nose. "What do you think?"


"Yes." Malik nodded. He stood up and grabbed a large plate on his way to the buffet line. He sighed and maneuvered through the crowd of people, and tried to avoid the stares he got. He could feel people gaping at his missing arm as his jacket sleeve flopped around at his side.

Altaïr could see Malik's face fall; he knew Malik hated crowds. It wouldn't be such a big deal if everyone could just look past the gap on his left side, but curious eyes tend to wander. Altaïr walked closer to Malik.

Malik noticed this and raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you need?"

"Do you need help? You know with the food and stuff."

"I'm not a cripple, Altair. I can take care of myself." At this, all the gazes were soon averted, everyone who had once been staring now returned to their business. Malik took a minute to compose himself. He gritted his teeth and set his plate down. "If you could put the food on my plate, I would appreciate it."

Altaïr smiled and proceeded to load his and Malik's plate with anything that he or Malik deemed appetizing.

The returned to the table to find everyone already situated comfortably. Altaïr shuffled into the booth after Malik. Connor made room for Malik and smiled at him warmly. The table was loaded with various plates of food, and it was almost impossible to tell who's plates were whose. Desmond and Ezio seemed to be in an eating contest of some sorts, and Leonardo was simultaneously conversing with Connor excitedly, as well as rubbing his hand across Ezio's thigh gently.

Malik shut himself off from the rest of the world and set his mind on eating until his hunger was satisfied. Unfortunately for him, sitting next to Altaïr would prevent that. He continued to make idle conversation with the black haired man, alternating between shoving food in his mouth, and taking long sips of his soda. He showed no signs of stopping, and Malik simply grunted and nodded, half in the conversation, half out.

Malik looked at Ezio, who was sitting across from him. It seemed that Desmond had surrendered and retreated to the dessert table. Ezio was being spoilt to no end, as Leonardo was hand feeding him whatever was left over from his own plate. Malik sighed and moved to get more food.

"So much for the workout." Connor mumbled under his breath.

Ezio shrugged mischievously and Leonardo giggled as he ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

At this moment, Desmond returned to the table with a platter filled with at least 20 different pastries and cakes. "Man, there's some weird old dude neighing to himself by the ice cream machine." He jerked a thumb behind him. "I wouldn't recommend trying to get past him; he tried to knock me down." Desmond squinted and looked over at the two Italians. "Hey, no PDA at the dinner table." He joked and bit into an eclair.

Ezio shushed him and opened his mouth for another bite. Altaïr shifted his eyes towards Malik, who had just returned with another plate of food.

"Pretty hungry, aren't we?"

Malik frowned and gestured for Altaïr to move out of his way so he could return to his seat. "It wasn't like you put that much food on my plate. You loaded way more onto your own." He huffed.

"I didn't know how much you wanted." Altaïr shrugged and polished off a bone from the ribs he had chosen and placed it to the side.

Malik sat down and stared at his plate. Perhaps he had gotten a bit too much. His eyes were bigger than his stomach, and he wondered if he had made a mistake. He figured he could just wait until everybody was done and sneak the plate onto the pile of empty dishes.

"I'm going to get us dessert." Altaïr smiled at Malik, who was eating his mashed potatoes slowly.

"Watch out for that guy!" Desmond mumbled through a mouth full of custard.

When Altaïr returned, he found Malik still working on clearing his plate. He raised his eyebrows as he sat down. Altaïr remembered Leonardo earlier and snatched Malik's spoon from out of his hand.

"Altaïr what are you doing?" He hissed angrily.

"I'm going to feed you."

"Don't be ridiculous. Just let me eat my food."

"No. I've got to make sure you finish everything on your plate. You need to eat more anyway."

"What makes you say that?" Malik grew increasingly more angry.

"You're too skinny for someone who sits around doing nothing all day."

Malik leaned back in his seat and glowered at Altair. Altaïr couldn't help but smile as he loaded the spoon with a hunk of potatoes and waved it in front of Malik's face teasingly.

"Open up for the plane!" Altaïr grinned.

"Why are you doing this." Malik glared at the spoon as it got closer and closer to his mouth. He refused to open it, and Altaïr jabbed his lips weakly, ultimately only succeeding in getting it everywhere but in Malik's mouth.

Truth be told, Malik was starting to feel full. It seemed that sitting for a while had let his body properly register that he had ate enough. He knew, however, that there was no getting through to Altaïr at this point.

"Malik open your mouth." Altaïr called in a sing-song voice.

Malik eventually accepted the potatoes and ate them slowly.

Altaïr came in with another spoon and he sighed. "Altaïr I'm full."

"Open for the plane!" Altaïr waved the spoon around once more.

"No, go away. I'm full." He was actually starting to pout.

"But you've got to clean your plate." It was almost like Altaïr was trying to persuade a child.


"Malik we payed good money for this place so eat your goddamn peas and mashed potatoes." He hissed.

Malik reluctantly finished each bite of food, with heavy coaxing from Altair. It was nearly impossible to say no.

"Who wants dessert?" He held a small pastry in front of Malik's face. "I picked out your favorite! It was the last one."

Malik weighed the pros and cons. "Altaïr, really. I'm full." He started. Then again, Altaïr had gotten his favorite pastry. And he hadn't had it in a while.

"The plane is coming in to land!" At this point, Altaïr was milking it, and he knew it. The others had resorted to their own devices and seemed to pay them no mind.

Malik sighed and opened his mouth. Altaïr smiled and carefully fed him the dessert. Malik licked the cream off his lips and exhaled heavily.

Altaïr had definitely made him eat way more than he probably should, and he was starting to feel incredibly sleepy. Not to mention the fact that he felt a dull pain in his stomach from eating much more than he was used too in a given period. He grimaced slightly and took a sip of his water.

Altaïr waited until he was done drinking before he pulled Malik in for a hug.

"You ate everything! I'm so proud of you." Altaïr teased as he cuddled his boyfriend.

Malik at this point was too full and too tired to put up much of a fight, and instead weakly placed his unshaven chin on Altaïr's shoulder. Altaïr ran his hand through Malik's hair and pet the top of his head gently. Malik groaned and simply allowed himself to be coddled, not willing to expel the effort to resist.

"What's the matter, Malik?" Altaïr cooed.

"You overfed me." He half pouted, half spat.

"Awwww." Altaïr chuckled. He honestly should feel guilty, but Malik was just too cute like this. "Does somebody's little tummy hurt?"

"Shut up." Malik breathed. "Yes, it does. And it's your fault."

Altaïr brought Malik closer and squeezed him lightly.

"If you two are done here, Connor paid and we can leave now." Desmond snapped the two out of their trance.

Altaïr nodded and released Malik from his confinement.

Malik leaned back in his chair and took another sip of water before attempting to make his way out of the booth. He winced and placed his hand on his tight stomach. He probably should've waited a while before attempting to stand, as he's never let himself eat this much before. He squinted and stumbled after Desmond. Altaïr raised his eyebrows in slight concern and gripped Malik's shoulders to steady him.

Ezio opened the door for them, and helped Malik plop into his seat next to Desmond. Altaïr closed the door behind him, and looked over at his companion. Malik sighed and leaned against Altaïr's shoulder.

Altaïr smiled at Malik's sudden affection, and kissed his cheek lightly. "At least you got enough to eat." He shrugged and rumpled Malik's hair.

Ezio pulled out of the parking spot, idly chatting with Desmond, and Malik groaned, digging his head into Altaïr's shoulder. He placed his hand again on his stomach and feebly attempted to soothe it. He yawned shifted in his seat.

Altaïr raised his hand carefully and slid it under Malik's own hand. Malik looked over at Altaïr questioningly; all Altaïr had to offer was a sheepish smile. Malik offered no resistance, and simply let him do as he please. It was his fault anyway, so why not have him fix the problem?

Altaïr grinned and gently patted his rounded stomach lightly. Malik frowned and tried to wiggle under his touch. Altaïr chuckled a bit and resorted to soothing rubs. Malik sighed contentedly and slid down in his seat. Altaïr was in disbelief. Malik hated having his stomach touched by anyone, let alone Altair.

Malik's stomach settled, but he still felt bloated, not to mention exhausted. He was simply too tired to protest.

Malik melted into Altaïr's arms; he was practically laying all of weight against him. Altaïr continued rubbing soft circles into Malik's abdomen, making sure he didn't apply too much pressure. Too Altaïr's amusement, Malik started to whine softly, causing Desmond to scoot as far away as he could as possible.

Malik was thoroughly enjoying himself, though he couldn't bring himself to admit it verbally. All he could do was let out a soft, content moan every now and then and rub his head against Altaïr's shoulder.

He closed his eyes, and he relaxed his eyebrows. Altaïr noticed this, and attempted to remove his hand from Malik's abdomen, figuring he had had enough. Malik opened his eyes, and grasped Altaïr's hand as soon as he stopped. He frowned slightly and placed Altaïr's hand back on his stomach.

"Someone's a little more fond of belly rubs than he thought." Altaïr teased. "I knew you liked it."

"Shut up." Malik mumbled, tracing the path Altaïr was rubbing with his finger. "This is your fault you know." But as Altaïr looked down at him, he could see that Malik was smiling.