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“You need a hobby,” Carlisle says dryly.


“You put me in a high school surrounded by children. I don’t really have a lot of options. I can’t exactly play a sport, nor do I have any interest in socializing with humans one hundred years younger than I. Don’t patronize me more than you already are.”

“So scowling at everyone is your hobby?” 

 

“If it keeps them from talking to me, so be it. I get enough from being stuck in their heads.”

 

What Edward would never admit to anyone is that he does have a hobby. For three periods a day, his boredom is finally alleviated. Not even the person who he has to thank for this knows his secret. 

 

Most of Edward’s time is spent trying to avoid reading minds, but his power is not so easily controlled. It’s like attempting to ignore a conversation happening right next to you. Unless he’s completely focused on something else, the thoughts come trickling through whether he wants them to or not. To help with this, he initially attempted to read- his previous hobby. This only lasted so long before his teachers found him out and gave him enough shit that he quit the practice. He could only handle so many of them touching his belongings before the thought of ripping their throats out became too alluring to be safe. Besides, he isn’t meant to be drawing attention to himself, that’s the whole point of this ridiculous charade in the first place. 

After losing his books, Edward’s hobby became imagining all the different ways he could kill everyone in the room and get away with it, especially the particularly annoying ones- the ones whose thoughts made it such an alluring idea to snuff the light from their eyes. This new hobby didn’t last long either, as it made his bloodlust nearly unbearable and Carlisle started asking too many questions. 

 

It was in his quest for a new hobby that he stumbled across him: Donovan O’Leary, the aspiring author. Poor kid still hasn’t put pen to paper, a real shame considering his ideas are brilliant. Donovan doesn’t pay a lick of attention in class, but Edward quickly realized that wasn’t because he was dumb, no, Donovan is too damn smart for his own good. He shouldn’t be wasting away in a classroom! Like Edward, he has bigger and better things to be doing but society is holding back his genius! But anyway…

 

Giselle is a tall, red headed beauty. 

 

A new character? Interesting. How will she fit in with the others?

 

Sarah, the main heroine, is instantly jealous of the new addition to the party. 

 

Of course she is. Sarah is a vapid bitch. Seriously, her name is Sarah

Edward has been mentally trying to tell Donovan for weeks that Sarah drags the story. Even her name is boring! Arlo doesn’t even love her, he just feels obligated to drag her around. Has the author finally figured that out? He has seemed just as in the dark about Arlo’s feelings as his main character. 

 

Arlo, the protagonist, is just trying his damndest to survive. He loves his longtime girlfriend, Sarah, who insisted on coming along on this insane adventure of his. 

 

Because she’s a bitch!

 

And together, they, with his best friend Chantria-

 

The BEST character!

 

You know, if I’m introducing Giselle, maybe I should get rid of Chantria. 

 

Donovan’s story screeches to a halt as a slam knocks him out of his reverie. His head whips back. 

 

The hell was that?

 

Edward, in shocked rage, had knocked his textbook to the floor. He and Donovan lock eyes for only a moment, but the teen didn’t need more than that to know that Edward Cullen hates his guts. Of course the class weirdo would hate him. 

 

Edward just couldn’t contain himself. How could Donovan want to do something so stupid?! He mutters a false apology to the confused teacher as he picks back up his book, still appalled. Teenagers, seriously! Chantria is the only intriguing one of the group! Sarah, as mentioned, is horrible, and Arlo is fine but he’s a typical adventure protagonist: undying loyalty, too nice for his own good, etc. Arlo is the definition of an author’s first protagonist, which, in reality, is fine, especially if the supporting cast can cover for the weakness. Edward didn’t initially think Donovan had it in him. The main relationship made him want to gag, but then, but then , he added in Chantria, and things went from dull to absolutely fascinating. And he just wants to kill that!? What does this Giselle have that makes her so much more interesting?

 

I could make it a love triangle. 

 

Oh god no. Please no. Edward lays his head down in defeat. He is going to kill the best girl to introduce the worst trope? Only children like love triangles. Any adult knows they’re horribly unrealistic at best and a sick fantasy at worst. 

 

Nah, Giselle is better than that.

 

No, Chantria deserves more! But he’ll take the win, no matter how small. 

 

Sarah would be so jealous of Giselle. Why wasn’t she ever jealous of Chantria…Oh my gosh she WAS jealous of her! This whole time! How did I never see that!?

 

Finally! He’s finally getting it! Edward jumps up in victory when the bell rings for the end of class. He’s ecstatic he and Donovan have class together next period as well. He has to see where this goes. Fortunately for Edward, Donovan is comfortable enough with his daily routine to remain completely zoned out, only focused on the writing going on in his head. 

 

But Chantria doesn’t like Arlo like that. I hate that stupid trope that a guy and girl who spend more than five minutes together just instantly fall in love. 

 

Agreed.

 

Chantria came to help because she’s genuinely his best friend. Did I make that obvious enough? Yeah, she has underlying story beats that will tie in later, like how her love of swordplay comes from the fact that she learned from Arlo’s father, who taught her so that when it was time for her to go out into the world she would have the ability to finally kill her father, his ex-best friend who betrayed his trust and got both their wives killed. 

 

…wait. What?

 

But that’s why Sarah came along in the first place! Because she was jealous! I’m the writer and I didn’t even notice! I thought what Sarah and Arlo had was sweet, but…it’s kind of toxic isn’t it?

 

YES! But wait, what about that stuff with Chantria?

 

She just follows him around and forces herself into his life when she really didn’t have any business being part of this. I thought it would be romantic, but now it just feels cringey. Is this what growing up feels like?

 

Growing older is cruel, Donovan, but better to realize this now than in the publishing phase. Apparently that’s when Edward will finally get to learn this whole ridiculous backstory for Arlo’s father too.

 

I better get rid of Sarah as a character. I’ll have to start over.

 

No, wait! Don’t do that! She’s a perfectly good villain! You’ve been looking for a good villain for ages! Though apparently Chantria’s dad is another villain?

 

Ugh, is this even worth it? Maybe I should just give it up. I don’t want to start over.

 

Then don’t! It’s good work! You can really make something of yourself! 

Edward sighs heavily. The period is nearly over and things are worse than ever. It’s a damn shame this kid never wrote anything down. He’d be able to make some excuse that he somehow saw the work if he did. If Donovan resolves to give up, there’s nothing Edward can do about it….except write it himself. That…is a viable option. He’ll keep it in mind. 

 

At the end of the day, Edward and Donovan pass one another in the hall. For possibly the first time ever, Edward smiles at a fellow student. The young man is so surprised he stops dead. Edward responds in kind. 

 

“You seemed kind of down today. I thought you could use some encouragement. I am sure whatever is bothering you will work out, if you let it.” Edward doesn’t wait for a response. He doesn’t need to. 

 

What the hell was that!? Did he just talk to me!? Did I really look that upset earlier?

 

To Edward’s delight, Donovan picked the story back up a week later. He couldn’t stay away. Maybe one day Donovan will finally start writing it down, and then he could give some better advice. 

 

Maybe Giselle can be Chantria’s long lost sister?

 

Edward suppresses a groan. 

 

 

“Did you ever find yourself a hobby, Edward? You seem to be in a much better mood as of late,” Carlisle points out one evening. 

 

“I think I might take up editing. I think I’ve got quite a knack for it.”