California RDJ’s Place. September 2012.
“Hey Robert want another beer?” Chris Evan’s voice boomed through the kitchen as he looked into the fridge, the “Avengers” as they called themselves had assembled and were celebrating the success of their summer blockbuster.
After countless hours of the promotional press tours and talking about their characters they had finally found a day for all of them to celebrate. Evans himself had planned the whole thing; Robert in a most Tony Stark way had just paid for everything. They also had a “Party Rules Board” but those were quite simple. No Kids, No Significant Other, Yes Alcohol.
Robert shouted back an affirmative as he went to let Hemsworth and Tom in; the Aussie and the Brit had flown in the night before and were staying at some hotel. Scarlett was chatting amicably with Mark, and Jeremy was helping Evans with the drinks and the food. Music was sounding vaguely in the background as everyone was chatting with one another about their trips or recent doings. They all settled in comfortable chatter while eating and drinking, Evans was joking with Hemsworth about something that sounded like wrestling with dingoes and crocodiles, while Tom had already apologized several times for arriving five minutes late. A few minutes later Robert stood up catching the attention of all of the presents.
“As the owner of this fantabulous place I’d like to give you my most sincere thanks for making time for this little reunion, it would have never been possible without the help of our own very Captain Meatball” Evans raised his beer as the others chuckled and sniggered at Robert’s words; he opened his mouth again to continue his speech when everything started shaking.
Scarlett looked ready to flee as did Mark and Jeremy, Hemsworth had stood to help Robert stabilize so he wouldn’t fall, Evans and Tom were by far the most calm but by the look in their faces one could tell that they were scared as hell as well; everything kept shaking and suddenly a white blinding light engulfed them all.
New York, Avengers Tower, Communal Living Room. May 2011.
One Week After Chitauri Attack.
Tony Stark, self-proclaimed billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist; entered to his tower’s living room where the other Avengers were sprawled on the couch. They had been helping the city with the clean-up efforts and were finally taking a breath from it all. Loki, the resident god of mischief had been securely bounded and locked in Tony’s own Hulk proof room, as Thor, the other resident god had not found a way to Asgard yet. Tony and Bruce had thought about using Loki’s portal to create a similar effect to send the god of thunder home. But so far they hadn’t been lucky, yet.
Steve Rogers looked worn out, he had been helping out during the whole week without taking a rest; but as Tony had pointed out not even he could last that much without a break, super soldier serum or not, he was still human. Natasha and Clint had been left in charge of the Avengers as Coulson, their glorified super nanny, had perished against the god of mischief. Thor was currently munching on some pop-tarts while Bruce was sipping one of his relaxing teas.
“Any luck?” asked Steve from where he sat, Tony shook his head and took a seat next to Thor grabbing a pop-tart for his own, the god looked at him with the corner of his eyes but Tony just shrugged as if to say ‘my house, my rules’. Bruce looked to his feet bashfully before looking at Steve.
“The calculations must be done carefully” Bruce explained “Any mistake can lead to horrible results and I’m not sure we can afford that”
“What kind of results?” asked Natasha with interest, as she was definitely not up for cleaning yet another mess.
“Oh, goody, let me see. End of the world, possible breakage of the laws of physics, the discovery of the multiverse theory and the end of the word as we know it, just our everyday thing, did I mentioned the end of the world?” said Tony from his side of the room, if looks could kill he would’ve been eviscerated on the spot.
“This is not a game, Stark” countered Steve, with an annoyed tint to his voice.
“And I’m not playing, capsicle”
The living room fell into a tense silence, Clint probably wanted to make a joke about rising sexual tension but knew better and kept it to himself, after a few more minutes of silence an alarm went up. The Avengers scrambled up from their seats and followed Tony down the stairs. Tony led them to his lab where apparently Loki’s machine was acting up.
“What’s going up Stark?” asked Steve with his shield in hand, seriously did the guy went anywhere without the thing, though Tony.
“If I knew we wouldn’t be here Rogers” Tony was examining the machine, Bruce by his side with a StarkPad looking up the readings.
“Is that thing supposed to be glowing?” asked Clint, Tony and Bruce shook their heads, both amused at the strange eerily glow that the machine was producing.
“Perhaps, brother Anthony, Heimdall has found a way to communicate with us and this is his doing” Thor sounded hopeful, but Tony and Bruce were not sure, the readings didn’t match with anything they had seen before, so it was not very likely, then suddenly the Tower started shaking, Natasha was standing by the doorframe and looked murderous.
“Stark! Banner! What is happening, turn off that thing!” she bellowed, Tony and Bruce had taken several steps backs from the thing.
“Yeah not doing that” answered Tony, as a blinding light lighted up the lab knocking them all out.
Robert groaned as consciousness started going back to him, a headache working itself up to his brain. What the hell had just happened? The last thing he could remember was holding onto Hemsworth for dear life, and then nothing. His eyes started opening slowly, he was surely not in Kansas anymore. The room he was in was weird, pieces of things were scattered all over the floor, and the body count he had just made didn't add up to the people that where at his house. Actually, there were six more knocked out people on the floor along sides him.
“Where the hell am I?”. Asked Robert, more to himself than any other thing. Acually, he wasn’t counting on the voice that answered him.
“You are at the Stark Tower in New York, sir” answered a British voice that didn’t sound like Tom’s.
“Stark what? Is this some kind of joke? And who are you?”
“I’m afraid not, sir. And my name is JARVIS, Mr. Stark’s personal assistant.”
Robert grabbed his head and groaned. What the fuck did I drank last night…? He thought. He took a moment to examine his surroundings, Evans had fallen on top of Tom, while Scarlet was sprawled on top of Jeremy and Mark. The soft thing that had cushioned his apparent fall, was not a thing, but Hemsworth. On the other side, he could make out a red haired woman, a blond haired hunk that looked like he was cosplaying Thor, a Captain America double, two other guys and an extremely handsome man that had something glowing in his chest. If the voice was right, and this was not some sort of sick joke, those other guys on the floor were The Avengers, the real deal.
He stood up carefully, without crushing Hemsworth more than he had already done, and walked over his extremely handsome look alike. He could notice that the guy was probably a few inches taller than him, life was unfair like that. Robert then did the only logical thing that came to his mind, he poked the stranger in the face.
“Hey man, are you alive?” His look alike groaned and Robert poked him again. “Dude, wake up!”
“Not now Pep…” Robert rolled his eyes.
“I’m not kidding, you should really wake up” The man opened his eyes just to let out a scream that woke up the rest of them.
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?”
“Tony, language!” chided Steve, while he stood up. He didn’t seem to notice the newly acquired inhabitants of the room.
“Hey man, why are you dressed like Captain America?” asked Evans, while sitting on the floor. Robert facepalmed.
“He IS Captain America” said Clint. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”
“LOKI?!” Thor was staring dumbfounded at Tom, who just smiled sheepishly.
“I’m sorry, but I think you might be confusing me with somebody else” he said, standing next to Hemsworth. “My name is Tom Hiddleston, and I played Loki in the Avengers movie”.
“Wait, a movie?!” asked Tony, still on the floor.
“Yes, a movie…” said Scarlet, now gaining the attention of the men and the other woman in the room. “I’m Scarlet, and I played the Black Widow during the movie”
“Well, we’re just fucked up”.
After everyone introduced themselves, and yes, JARVIS confirming that the strangers had appeared virtually out of nowhere, they all proceeded to move to the communal living room. Tony being the awesome host that he was, offered the group something to drink. Once they were settled, an awkward silence made itself present.
“Soooo, actors?” asked Tony, still not believing the existence of the people that were currently sitting in his living room.
“Soooo, super heroes?” countered Robert, making everyone laugh.
“This is the most awkward thing that has ever happened to me” said Mark, staring at Bruce intently.
“I think awkward might be an understatement” said Scarlet. Natasha silently agreed with the blond haired woman.
“So, any ideas of how you got here?” asked Natasha.
“No, we were just celebrating our movie at RDJ’s house when an earthquake happened and everything went black” said Hemsworth.
“You are not American, are you?” said Clint.
“Nah, I’m from Australia”
“Is it true that you fight dingoes in your backyard?”
“See? I told that I was not the only one who believed that!” Said Evans, grinning to Hemsworth, said man shook his head laughing.
Steve Rogers had been thawed out barely three weeks ago, and he had seen a lot of things in a very short period of time; flying aircrafts, mythological Norse gods, a green rage monster, aliens coming out of a whole in New York City but never had he thought that whatever was happening now, could be possible, no matter how many weird things he had seen, starting by the fact that the guy who apparently played him in another universe acted more like a Stark spawn than himself. The guy even liked Tony’s counterpart and they seemed to have a close relationship, not that Steve was judging them or anything, it was just plain weird. And apparently Robert, the guy who played Tony, was more like Tony than Tony himself, if it wasn’t because Tony was taller than the guy, we would have thought that Howard had twins. And Robert was a bit older too.
After a few more questions Tony offered the actors a floor for themselves until he and Bruce could send them back home, Tom had asked about Loki several times and Thor had promised the excited Brit that tomorrow he was going to take him to meet his brother. Once the actors found themselves alone they couldn’t help to mark down the differences between them and their characters, the first thing that had been pointed out by Jeremy was that the Captain seemed annoyed with Evans, to which Robert said that Steve Rogers didn’t know Chris Evans well enough to have an impression. That lifted up Evans’s humor again. Scarlett had pointed out that Steve seemed to believe that there was something going on between Robert and Evans, to which all of them answered in laughs. It was then, when Hemsworth had a terrific idea. Why not make the Captain believe that Evans and Robert were actually a couple, they had nothing to lose and lots of time to spare.
Tom seem excited by the idea, after all playing a god of mischief in the big screen is bound to rub off in some way or another, so to prank the real avengers was something that the Brit never knew he needed until this very moment. Evans and Robert agreed too, for they had read the comics and knew than in some of the worlds Rogers and Stark were meant to be together and since they knew that in their universe that was not likely to happen, why not make it happen here. All of that decided the actors decided to call it a night, since there weren’t enough rooms in that floor the guys decided to pair up so Scarlett could have a room of her own. So Mark and Jeremy shared a room, luckily it was a double, as was Hemsworth's and Tom’s and Scarlett’s and Robert and Evans’s both had a single queen size bed.
Tony Stark couldn’t sleep, and when he couldn’t sleep he spied on people, not that they had to know; so he decided to check on his new guests, he decided to start with Scarlett, he quite liked her, she had a nice sense of humor and adapted quickly to everything, she was peacefully sleeping alone in a room. Tony actually though that she was dating the Jeremy guy, as he himself was a closet Clintasha shipper, apparently that was not the case, which meant that if she was alone in a room a pair of dudes were sharing a bed. His curiosity got the best of him, and then he kind of wished it hadn’t, because the ones that were sleeping together were Robert and Evans.
Evans being bulkier than Robert, was being used as human pillow, they were both shirtless and looked extremely comfortable with each other, Robert was curled at Evan’s side nuzzling his neck, and Evan’s arm was protectively around Robert. Meaning, now he and Steve owed Natasha fifty bucks each, even though he didn’t mind Robert and Evans’s relationship he couldn’t help but to feel a little concerned about it, because if those two were together that meant that probably Steve was his other half, and it actually made sense since his past relationships never worked out, not even Pepper.
Next morning Steve was the first person to arrive to the kitchen, he started making pancakes and eggs for the group, remembering to make extra for the new additions, Steve was holding a carton of eggs when Robert made his way to the kitchen followed by a freshly shaved Evans, he looked scarily just like him this way, but with brown hair. Steve wasn’t sure that he liked that, but what really flipped the cup was that Evans kissed Robert good morning as if it was normal between them, Robert hummed happily into the kiss making Steve drop the eggs, that seemed to bring back to this world the kissing couple.
“Oh, sorry man, didn’t see you there” answered Evans with a sheepish smile, Robert smiled at him too.
“Its ok, it was just unexpected” answered Steve picking up the carton and throwing it in the trash can.
The kitchen started filling in slowly, by both actors and avengers, Evans had taken the seat besides Robert and was running his hand through the latest’s hair. Tony’s right eye was twitching, while Natasha and Scarlett shared a knowing smile. Clint was staring at the happy couple in shock and, Jeremy joked about Clint becoming the next Hulk, Mark and Banner decided to sit the conversation out, while Thor asked Hemsworth and Tom if this kind of relationship was just normal, Tom answered with a bright smile taking Hemsworth hand inn his own and nodding furiously, Clint smashed his head on the table with an audible groan and Jeremy let out a laugh, followed by Scarlett. Thor sincerely felt a little envious of this Hemsworth’s Tom, he wanted Loki to at least like him, but he felt happy for them nonetheless and congratulated them on their relationship.
After breakfast as promised Thor took Tom and Hemsworth to meet Loki, perhaps seeing their relationship would open his brother’s eyes. Tom was almost skipping behind Thor and Hemsworth had to pull him back several times so he didn’t smash into Thor’s back, not that the god would have noticed, they reached the room and Thor let them in, Loki stared curiously at the newcomers, but failed to notice their entwined hands.
“Brother! These are my new friends from another universe, Thomas and Christopher, in their universe we are but mere characters of a movie and they are the actors who reprise our roles” Thor explained to his bounded brother; remembering the Avenger’s movie night that had taken place a few nights ago. Loki raised his eyebrow and Thor remembered and removed the gag from his mouth.
“Hi” said Tom shyly, Loki stared at Tom taking in the other man’s features and this time noticing his entwined hand with Cristopher.
“Are you?” not the smartest thing to say, but it was the only thing that came to Loki’s mind.
“Together?” asked Hemsworth with a smile, Loki nodded, and Hemsworth smile became wider “We’ve been together for a year now” he said planting a kiss to Tom’s cheek, Tom blushed.
Loki’s eyes widened and he looked at Thor looking for answers but Thor just shrugged, Loki studied the mortal actors trying to find a fault or something in them but nothing was amiss they seemed perfectly content with each other. Loki wanted to throw up. But something even worse happened, in a blink of an eye both mortals were hugging Loki happily, it was not long before Thor joined the hug himself.
“Thor! Stop this nonsense right now” screamed Loki from the awkward hug, they all separated from each other, and then Tom turned serious and stared at Loki.
“It is not your fault, we know what happened and why” explained Tom softly and Loki felt panic stirring.
“What do you mean, Friend Thomas?” Asked Thor with concern written all over his face.
“Your brother was mind controled by Thanos, the mad titan” answered Hemsworth, Tom looked at him and nodded.
“The mad titan along with his Black Order, tortured Loki until he agreed to do his biddings, Loki and the universe will not be safe until they are stopped” explained Tom, Thor looked at his brother, horror and concern written all over his face.
“Brother, why didn’t you tell me before? I could have helped you brother” said Thor.
“How can you say that I’m your brother? I’m a monster” Loki’s eyes didn’t meet Thor's when he said that, Loki sat back on the floor and stayed silent, Tom and Hemsworth shuffled awkwardly, Thor kneeled in front of his brother and lifted his head with his finger, their eyes found and Thor’s eyes softened.
“You are my brother, I don’t care if Laufey was the one who sired you, we are family, you could be a bilgesnipe for all I care, you are my brother and I love you” said Thor pulling Loki into a hug, Tom and Hemsworth smiled at the brothers and got out of the room without being noticed, their job had been done.
“So how did you guys got together?” asked Natasha to the couple making out on the largest couch, Evans gave her a lazy smile.
“It was actually Tony and Steve that brought us together” said Chris, Natasha smiled and Steve almost swore, Tony wanted to bang his head on the table.
“While filming we found out that the ‘hate’ between Steve and Tony was actually unresolved sexual tension” explained Robert.
“I KNEW IT!” shouted Clint from the vents.
“Fuck you Barton!” replied Tony, he was sulking.
“Its Steve you want to fuck! Not me” countered Clint, Steve blushed, a deep red color, that Scarlet was sure that it was in no way humanly possible to achieve.
“Barton I’m warning you” Tony muttered, jaw clenched. Clint jumped down from the vent with a coy smiled.
“Awe come on Stark, don’t tell me you haven’t thought at least once how good Steve looks in his-“
“I think that’s enough” Said Steve from his couch, Jeremy sniggered and high fived Clint.
“Sir, I believe I’ve found a way to send your guests back” said Jarvis, Tony had to stop himself from jumping with joy at the news.
After a few minutes the actors were all reunited in the lab, Tom still holding Hemsworth’s hand and Loki now joining Thor. The two demigods looked suspiciously close, too close. They started saying their goodbyes; Natasha hugged Scarlett and whispered something in her ear, Scarlett laughed, Jeremy and Clint shared a man hug and wished they could stay in touch, Bruce and Mark were still discussing clean energy sources and Steve and Tony were saying their goodbyes to Evans and Robert. Scarlett and Natasha approached the four men and somehow made Tony trip into Steve’s arms sending both of them to the floor in a compromising position, Bruce and Mark, the closest to the fallen couple crouched next to them grabbing their heads.
“And now you may kiss” said Mark with a smile on his face, making Tony and Steve kiss with the help of Bruce, everyone fell silent. Evans had a smirk on his face as did Robert when Tony and Steve's kiss turned into a full blown make out session.
“So it was sexual tension after all” said Bruce with a smile “If I had known sooner, I would’ve gotten The Other Guy to help” Everyone laughed.
When Tony and Steve’s heated kiss ended everyone finished saying their goodbyes and the actors stood on the platform, Thor approached Hemsworth and Tom with a bright smile, Loki not far behind him.
“ I shall always remember you friends Christopher and Thomas for helping me and my brother sort our problems, we found out that we were approaching our problems the wrong way” Thor was still smiling and the actors notice that his hand was entwined with Loki’s.
Tony started up the machine before anyone else could say anything else, and in a flash of white light the actors were gone, hopefully to their world, Tony grabbed Steve’s hand and inwardly thanked Robert and Evans for making him realize that he and Steve were meant to be. Natasha was smiling like the Cheshire cat as she left the lab, Bruce went to his room with new information to google about and Clint was the one who unfortunately saw Thor giving Loki a kiss, needless to say, he passed out.
The actors appeared in Robert’s house in a flash, it seemed that time hadn't passed while they had been away. Upon arriving all of them cracked up laughing and swore that this was to be classified information. They joked about it for times to come, and during interviews or filming nothing ever fazed them, not even the fanart, because at the end of the day, they knew…. They all did.