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Memories and Healing

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The darkness was absolute. The only things that made their way into his tortured brain were voices; loud voices, soft voices, cries, sobs and one very loud, painful sounding shout, followed by a low growl. He wanted to move, but couldn’t.

One voice kept calling to him, telling him that he needed to wake up. It was a man’s voice; it was deep and silky, the sound rolling over him and soothing him. This voice made him feel safe; who did the voice belong to? He wanted to find out, but couldn’t find the strength to open his eyes.

He felt a hand take his and hold it; it was a woman’s hand, soft yet strong. Her voice was there, too, asking him to open his eyes. It sounded like the woman was crying; he didn’t want her to cry. The sound bothered him; it wasn’t annoying, he just didn’t want her to cry for him.

That voice was back; it kept telling him that it was time for him to get up, to let them know that he was alright. He struggled to open his eyes; he wanted to see who the voice belonged to. He could feel his eyelids trying to respond...he grew tired trying. 


Slowly he opened his eyes; the room was dark, only a little light was seemed like it was coming from inside the walls. He looked at the redhead sitting in front of him; he wondered if this was the owner of the deep, silky voice.

“Harry, mate? It’s great to see you open your eyes!” This wasn’t the voice...this voice was frightening to him, striking a hidden chord somewhere in his memories. He tried to get away from the redheaded man, not actually going anywhere, but trying nonetheless. He made a small sound, like a whimper, in his throat. This voice represented pain and hurt; this voice had hurt him.

His whimpers grew in volume and intensity; he was still trying to get away from the man in front of him. Someone else moved to his side. “Harry? Harry, you need to calm down. Ron’s not going to hurt you.”

It was the voice. He looked at its owner; he was a redhead, like the one who frightened him, but he was different. This man made him feel safe; he immediately tried to get closer to this redhead.

“Harry? What’s wrong, mate? Don’t you know me? It’s Ron, Harry, your best mate.”

He shook his head almost violently; this man was not safe. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to get away from the redhead to his right; the same instincts were telling him that the redhead to his left represented safety. This redhead had saved him from something...he didn’t know what.

The man to his left placed a hand on his arm, to calm him. It worked; he could feel his muscles relax slightly. The man to his right noticed and the look in his eyes changed; they became wary, almost angry, but then the man covered it quickly. He saw the change and it only supported his feeling that this man was not to be trusted.

He looked back up at the man on his left; he had longer hair and bright blue eyes, which were currently filled with concern. He was very muscular and had several scars and what looked like burns on his forearms; he looked as if he would be very formidable in a fight...he was glad that this was the owner of the voice.

He looked at the other redhead; they were obviously related, but how closely he couldn’t tell. The one to his right was taller, thinner and also had blue eyes; but his eyes were not the same. His eyes were guarded; they held his eyes and, as he watched, the guard slipped. He saw anger and disgust in those eyes; then the guard came back up.

He recoiled from the taller man and tried to turn away from him; the other man caught him as he almost fell off of the narrow bed. If he knew these people, why didn’t he remember them? Why did he feel scared of someone who said they were best mates? What had happened to him? 


Charlie stared at the younger, black-haired wizard. He didn’t understand Harry’s reaction to Ron; there was something going on inside Harry’s head, and Charlie wanted to find out what it was.  When Charlie had found Harry, beaten horribly, lying in between two buildings in Diagon Alley, he had brought him straight to St. Mungo’s; then he had fire-called Sirius and Remus.

Sirius hadn’t allowed anyone but himself and Remus in the room while Harry was being examined. Charlie had heard Sirius’ pained cry and Remus’ growl from out in the hallway; he had run in to find Sirius being supported by Remus, sobbing uncontrollably. After he had calmed somewhat, Sirius told Charlie about the examination.

Not only had Harry been savagely beaten, he had also been raped; whoever had raped him had used a thorough cleansing spell, most likely more than one, so that no trace of his semen had been found. Sirius and Remus had asked that he tell no one about the rape...that had been over a week ago.

Now Harry was awake and had no idea who Ron was. That’s what he didn’t understand; he didn’t think that Harry’d had any head trauma, but he would have to ask Sirius about that.

He looked at Harry, shivering in his arms; something was really wrong. Harry hadn’t yet said a word; he’d just made those scared whimpering noises. Charlie looked at Ron and Hermione.

“Guys, give me a minute, alright? Why don’t you fire-call Sirius and let him know Harry’s awake.” They nodded and left the room.

He could feel the immediate reaction in Harry’s body; he relaxed and began to breathe more easily. Something about Ron put him on edge.

“Harry? Do you remember me?” Harry shook his head. “My name’s Charlie Weasley.”

Harry looked up at him. “Is my name Harry? I don’t remember.” 


He looked up at the man who said his name was Charlie Weasley. The name stirred something in his memories; he knew this man, trusted him.  He wondered what he meant by ‘fire-call’ and who was the woman that had been there? He didn’t ever want to see the tall redhead again; he didn’t know who he was, but he never wanted him in his room again.

“Is my name Harry? I don’t remember.” He couldn’t remember anything...not even his own name. He ought to be frightened that he couldn’t remember his name, but he wasn’t; for some reason, his brain thought it was a good idea not to remember.

He looked up and saw the shock on Charlie’s face and he ducked his head. “I’m sorry.”

“No Harry, don’t be sorry; if you can’t remember, we’ll have to see what we can do to help you with it. You’re at St. Mungo’s right now.” Charlie felt Harry tense at the name of the hospital. Well, at least that hadn’t changed; apparently, Harry still hated St. Mungo’s.

Harry didn’t remember him...Charlie felt waves of anger and sadness sweep over him. Anger because what had happened had erased his memories; sadness because, if Harry didn’t remember him, that meant that he didn’t remember that they were together...had been for over a year. He put his arms around Harry, who relaxed into his embrace. He may not remember me, but he’s comfortable with me. That’s something. Charlie thought.

Sirius and Remus came into the room and Harry’s face lit up. “Siri! Remy!” Charlie was startled; it must have shown on his face because the two older men looked at him.

"What's wrong?" Sirius sat next to Harry and gently pulled him into his arms and Remus walked to Charlie's side. "What is it?"

Charlie lowered his voice. "Not now...later...when Harry's asleep. I think we need to limit who sees Harry to you, Sirius and me, if that's alright; he had a reaction to Ron and it bothers me."

Remus met his eyes and slowly nodded. He sat on Harry's other side and pulled both Harry and Sirius into his arms; Charlie could see that Remus and Sirius were trying hard not to cry. At least he remembered his godfather and Remus; they would be a stabilizing force for Harry to hold on to.

A healer came into the room and gave Harry some potions to help him heal further and to sleep. As his eyes started to close, Harry made an effort to fight the potion and looked at Charlie.

"Don't leave make me feel safe." He shuddered slightly. "Don't want" His voice trailed off as he succumbed to the effects of the sleeping draught.

Once they were certain that Harry was asleep, Sirius and Remus followed Charlie into another room. Charlie put up an Imperturbable Spell and a very strong locking spell.

"Alright...I won't pretend to know what the hell is going on in his mind, but you two are the only ones he's recognized. He has no memory of anyone else; he knows that he knows me, but doesn't know how. He didn't recognize Ron or Hermione, but he tried to get away from Ron when Ron spoke to him. For some reason, Ron scares him; you heard what he said...he doesn't want Ron here."

Sirius looked confused. "Why would Ron scare him? They've been friends for years."

Charlie shook his head. "I don't know. He almost fell off of the bed trying to get away from him; he only calmed down when I sent Ron and Hermione out to fire-call you."

Remus put a hand on Charlie's arm. "He doesn't remember you?"

Charlie closed his eyes, fighting off tears. "No...when I said my name, he almost smiled, but he told me that he didn't remember me." He opened his eyes and looked at Sirius. "Do you have his wand?"

Sirius nodded and pulled Harry's wand out of an inner pocket of his robes; he handed it to Charlie and looked at him curiously. "What do you want Bambi's wand for?"

Charlie didn't say anything but touched the tip of his wand to the tip of Harry's. "Prior Incantato."

They saw a faint white glow come from the tip of Harry's wand, accompanied by the whisper of Harry's voice, "Obliviate!"  They all looked at each other in shock. Remus found his voice first.

"He Obliviated himself?" The horror in his voice was plain to hear. "Why would Harry Obliviate himself?" 


Charlie knew this went beyond what had happened to Harry; he sat on the floor, the tears he had held back earlier finally finding their way down his face. "He knew who it was."

Sirius' head shot up and he stared at Charlie, absolute horror on his face. "Oh, Merlin, No! Please No!"

Remus slid down the wall, his legs no longer held the strength to hold him upright; he curled into a ball and started sobbing. "Why? Oh Gods, WHY?!"

Both Charlie and Sirius helped Remus to a chair and sat the shaking man down. ""Who? Who would do this to Harry. Why?"

"I don't know, Remus. I know that there are some who would still love to see Harry dead; Death Eaters trying to avenge You-Know-Who. But, they would kill him outright; they wouldn't beat and rape him, only to leave him for dead. Harry can also throw off most curses and hexes; however, because he's so small, it would be hard to defend himself if they chose to physically attack him."

Remus was beginning to calm down. "We need to check his wand to see if he tried to defend himself." He turned to Sirius. "Get Tonks over here...she should be able to tell us if he used his wand to fend off an attack."

Sirius nodded; after taking down the silencing and locking spells, he left for the Ministry building.

Charlie turned back to Remus. "Let's go back and sit with Harry; I don't want him to wake up and one of us not be there."

They headed back to Harry's room; Remus stopped in the hallway. "I'm going to get some coffee. D'you want any?"

"Yes please...2 sugars and very light." Charlie continued into Harry's room and sat by his bed; taking Harry's hand in his, he began to talk to him.

"I remember the first time I met were in your first year and I was coming to get Norberta from Hagrid; yes, Norbert is female. I remember thinking that you were so small; how could someone so small be the one to destroy You-Know-Who? Then, I remembered that you had been even smaller when you did that. The next time we met, you were in your fourth year; you were in the Tri-Wizard Tournament and were terrified of facing the dragons. Watching you fly was one of the most amazing things I had ever seen; you became part of your broom and you made it seem so effortless. I knew you were far better than I had ever been, and it was an amazing experience."

Remus returned with the drinks and stood in the doorway, watching Charlie talk to Harry. He knew that Charlie had been good for Harry, drawing him out of his depression after Ginny had dumped him, after the final battle. He had watched them grow closer; Remus had been the one that Harry had come to when he realized that he wasn't completely straight. He knew that Harry loved Charlie, with everything in him; seeing this made him realize just how much Charlie loved Harry.

"After the final battle, I had to stand there and watch my little sister break your heart. I already knew that I had feelings for you, but I didn't know how strong they were until that day. I watched her hurt you; Bill actually had to hold me back, to keep me from hurting her. You had just saved us all and she ripped you apart. I made a vow to myself that day. I vowed that I would do whatever it took to keep you from hurting again. She moved to America to play Quidditch not long after that, so I never really had to keep her away from you. I wish I had been early for our meeting that day, Harry; Mum kept me late, asking questions about our relationship, so I didn't get there in time to protect you. I will regret that to my dying day. I wasn't there when you needed me most."

Remus watched as a single tear left Harry's closed eye and ran down the side of his face. He may not remember Charlie, exactly, but he certainly could hear the pain in his voice.

"He knows Charlie." Remus moved into the room and set the drinks down. "He knows you're here and he knows how much you care." He stood next to the younger man as he put his arms around him and held him; Charlie buried his head in Remus' side and broke down. He let go as the guilt of being late washed over him.

He felt a warm hand on his arm and looked at the man in the bed; he was surprised to see tears in the bright green eyes. "I remember you! Oh, Charlie, I remember you!"

Remus watched as Charlie moved to lie in the bed next to Harry; Harry gently laid his hand on Charlie's cheek as the older man held him. They both were crying quietly and giving each other gentle kisses, reaffirming their love for each other. He quietly left the room, meeting Sirius and Tonks as they returned. "Might want to stay out here for a while."

"Why? What's going on in there?" Sirius was concerned.

"Harry remembers Charlie; they're in there comforting each other." He hastened to reassure Sirius, after seeing the look on his face. "Not that! Just holding each other...he just remembered Charlie."

Tonks, Sirius and Remus moved into the next room to look at Harry's wand. Tonks ran a series of scans on it, each specialized to show if any defensive spells had been used or if the wand had been used offensively, to fend someone off.

"His wand doesn't show any signs of being used to defend himself. There have been no offensive or defensive spells cast from this wand in well over a year. Before the Obliviate, the last offensive spell was the Killing Curse used to kill V-Vol-the Dark Lord." Her hair morphed from a bright lavender to a muted blue color, showing sadness. "He didn't defend himself with his wand. He might have tried to defend himself physically, though."

"The healer said that it didn't look like it; he was beaten too badly to have defended himself." Sirius put his head in his hands. "We need to think about this logically...who would do something like this? Attack Harry and rape him." Sirius' voice shook. "Would it be a school grudge? If so, then Draco Malfoy is a suspect."

Remus shook his head in the negative. "They never got along while at Hogwarts, but I've seen them out and about together recently, laughing and joking with each other. Charlie was with them, too, so I don't think it would be him. What about someone larger than him, but lacking the power to defeat him magically?"

Tonks eyes lit up, then darkened dangerously, her hair turned black. "Someone who knows him, is bigger than him, but not as magically powerful as he is and knew where he would be that day. I hate to say this, but I can only think of one person who that description fits."

Both men looked at her. "Who?"

"Ronald Weasley." 


Charlie lay next to Harry until the brunette fell asleep again; he carefully exited the room, being quiet to avoid waking Harry. He headed into the next room to see if Sirius had returned with Tonks yet; what he heard, while standing in the doorway, froze him down to his heart.

"Someone who knows him, is bigger than him, but not as magically powerful as he is and knew where he would be that day. I hate to say this, but I can only think of one person who that description fits."


"Ronald Weasley."

He must have made some small noise that alerted everyone to his presence; they quickly turned to face him. He slowly made his way to a chair and slumped down into it. "It would make sense."

This was not what Sirius had been expecting. "What? Why would it make sense?"

"Harry doesn't remember Ron, but he's scared of him...remember I told you that he had been trying to get away from Ron? Maybe it was his subconscious mind telling him that Ron was the one who hurt him. 

Remus looked thoughtful. "I hate to say it, but we need Severus."

"Why do we need him?" Sirius protested.

"He's the most accomplished Legilimens still alive; only Albus was better than him. We need to get Ron to be near him, so that Severus can look into his memories. I can guarantee Ron won't have tried to Obliviate himself; he probably doesn't even know it can be done...I also doubt that he knows Occlumency."

Charlie looked at Sirius. "I'll go get Severus and then we'll get Ron over here; this will be the most likely place to get Ron to come to. Not only that, but, if it is him, just seeing Severus will clue him in. We can get him in this room and Severus can get him right as he walks in; it'll be the only way. Of all of my brothers, Ron is the only one who might have done well in Slytherin; he's sneaky and conniving."

Everyone agreed with the plan and Charlie flooed to the dungeons at Hogwarts; he entered the empty classroom and knocked on the door to Severus Snape's private office.


Charlie opened the door and closed it behind him; he put up locking and silencing spells, gaining a raised eyebrow from the potions master. "Severus, I need your help."

"What can I do for you, Mr. Weasley?"

"I don't know what you may have heard here, but about a week ago, Harry was attacked, beaten and left for dead in Diagon Alley. What we didn't let get out was the fact that he was also raped."

Severus' eyebrows raised and then lowered into a dark scowl. "Who?" The word was forced through clenched teeth and stiff lips.

"We don't know exactly; we have a suspicion, but, right now we can't prove it. We need your Legilimency skills."

"Who?" This time the word was more forceful and angry.

Charlie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Ron."

Severus' eyes opened wide. "But, he is Potter's friend and your brother. Why would he do something like this?"

"We don't know it was him; we only have a suspicion. Ron was against Harry and I being together; we knew his reaction wouldn't be good, that's why we waited for over a year before telling my family. Ron has a problem with anything that doesn't resemble normalcy."

Severus stood and placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Get him to St. Mungo's...I will meet you there."

Charlie nodded. "Sirius, Remus and Tonks are in room 318, so that's the room you want to go to; Harry's in room 316. I'll tell Ron that Harry's beginning to remember things, and has asked for him; that should get him there. Tonks will be able to arrest him if his memories prove that he's Harry's rapist."

Severus agreed and immediately used the floo in his classroom to go to St. Mungo's while Charlie flooed to the Burrow to get Ron. His stomach was churning; he really hoped it wasn't Ron, but he had a sinking feeling that Tonks was right. Ron was physically larger than Harry, but wasn't nearly as powerful as Harry was; he also knew that Charlie and Harry were meeting that afternoon in Diagon Alley. Ron had been the one to get Molly started on the questions, and once Molly started, she hadn't let Charlie leave until she was satisfied.

Charlie found Ron and Hermione in the sitting room; taking a deep breath, he looked at his brother. "Ron, Harry's begun to remember some things and he's asking to see you. Come with me to St. Mungo's."

Ron got a slightly hunted look to his face, but he stood. "'s he doing?"

"Better, but not everything has come back to him. We're hoping you can help."

Ron nodded and Charlie took his arm, so that they went through the floo at the same time; Hermione followed. He led Ron to room 318.

"But...isn't he in that room?" Ron pointed at Harry's room.

"No, they had a problem with the heating system in that room and moved him one over." Ron accepted the lie with a nod.

Charlie pushed open the door and let Ron walk in first. He put a hand on Hermione's shoulder to stop her from following; she stared at him and he shook his head.


Severus began to walk through the disorder that was Ron's mind; he had absolutely no system for filing his memories. He began to look in the boxes and bags lying about in the large white room; he found the memories of his first year at Hogwarts filed right next to memories of his 5th birthday. After several minutes, however, he found the memories he was looking for, stored in a large black book, lying in the center of the room. He opened the book and began immersing himself in the memories.

Everyone in the room could see from Severus' facial expression that he had found what they were looking for; his expression became more horrified as he kept watching the memory. Finally he tore himself away from Ron's mind and bound him. "Petrificus Totalus!"

He ran to the loo and vomited; he had never seen anything that depraved before, and he hoped never to again. What he had seen would convict Ronald Weasley to a life sentence in Azkaban. 



Harry had recovered the rest of his memories very shortly after the episode with Severus; he went to a therapist about the trauma...strangely enough that therapist was Draco Malfoy, and had helped Harry come to terms with his rape. Ron's trial took place before he recovered his memories, but what Severus had seen did indeed help convict Ronald Bilius Weasley to a life sentence in Azkaban prison.

Harry had the full backing of the Weasley family; they had been horrified that Ron could do something like that to the man who had been his best friend. They had all welcomed Harry to the family with open arms when he and Charlie had bonded almost a year after Harry's rape. Now, they were all at St. Mungo's once more...this time for a far more pleasant experience.

The Weasley family, Mr. and Mrs. Granger, Sirius, Remus and Severus Snape were all standing in the waiting area outside of a birthing room in the maternity ward. Two Weasleys were missing from the group; Charlie and Fred were inside the birthing room with their spouses.

Charlie held Harry's hand as the younger man took one more deep breath and pushed. The wail of a baby rent the air, followed by another wail from the bed right next to him; both Harry and Hermione had gone through their entire pregnancies together, from start to finish. As Harry and Charlie were handed their daughter, Hermione and Fred were handed their son.

Yes, Harry had healed. Some memories are never forgotten, though; Harry still had nightmares about his rape, but he had Charlie to comfort him...and now they had a beautiful daughter, who would also help her Daddy heal.

No, some memories are NEVER forgotten, but with time, better memories can help with healing.