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Two mad hats for Anon

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“How are you feeling?”

Rebecca immediately regret the question she asked while looking at Jennifer packing everything her stomach contained into the toilet. She put her blonde hair behind her ear and looked back at her friend as if she insulted her entire family tree.

“Like shit. What do you think?”

“By Chief God, sorry for asking…” Rebecca sighed, as she couldn’t get her gaze away from her friend, who just had a lot more alcohol than she could handle.

“Look Jenny, this is something out of our control…”

“They… took HIM away along with almost all men!” The woman who hugged the toiled, and snarled at her friend.

“Honestly Jenny, it was more or less your fault too… I mean… you knew he’s not going to make a move, right?”

“B-but, who knew they’ll just snatch him away?!”

“That's how monster are, I suppose…” She shrugged, then helped her friend to get back on her feet, and guided her out of the toilet back to the pub. It was late at night, as there only was one guest, a woman with a fedora who had a long black coat, sitting at the counter, sipping whiskey, with her face barely visible.

“Tch- Damned Order. It’s all their fault! They were more than eager to give themselves in!” Jennifer fell down into the bar chair, while holding her head.

“There-there".” Rebecca patted her back. “There is plenty of fish on the sea-”

“I adore your optimism… but Becky… they took Jimmy… and-”

“Jenny…” Rebecca didn’t know what to say to comfort her friend. Since the town became a mixed territory, the men disappeared and were taken as husbands. Unlike Jenny and Becky, they were the exact opposite. Ferocious, initiative, and didn’t wait for the right moment, or for men to confess. They were more than eager to claim single men, human girls never experienced that women can be initiative, or even just ‘claim’ men on their own.

“Becky, I have been wondering…”

“No.” Jenny raised her head, then rested her chin on her palm. Her friend didn’t even need to finish the question, which immediately cleared her head from the alcohol’s effect.

“Hmph! I thought you were the desperate one!”

“Bullshit! I don’t need to be changed into some abomination! That's like saying I’m not good enough!”

“They offered us a chance… Have you seen them? It’s nuts! They look like princesses! I saw a snake woman, one who looked as if angels craved her face! I’m tired and angry!” Becky slammed her palm on the counter, scaring even the barman.

“Tired and angry, you say? What should I say? Jim is gone now, and I have waited for him for YEARS!” Jenny yelled at her friend with teary eyes.

“I-I understand you…” She lowered her head, then looked at her friend with determination. “But… I’m tired of waiting too! I want to be more beautiful! Bloody hell, Jenny, one of those spiders, had bigger breasts than any woman I have ever seen in my life!”

“Did they use some magic on you?”

“By Chief God, no! Why is it so hard for you to understand that I want to have a good family life, too? All of them seem so happy! I don’t want to be a barmaid for the rest of my life in some shithole and get old!”

The barman, who was writing on his notepad what they were running low on, turned around and frowned at Rebecca.

“Excuse me… but… Still, I can’t just look idly like this!”

“Turning into a monster… have you lost your mind, girl? Our place might not be the best example of how devoted humans should act, but still… it sounds like you have gone mad.” The barman shook his head.

“No, in fact, I know exactly what to do! I’m tired of all of this! I will not end up with cats instead of kids and a husband!”

Rebecca angrily turned away as she hurried out of the pub. On her way, she nearly broke the door hinges.

“Desperate…” The barman shook his head. “What did this place become…”

“You people are not very fond of monsters… I can understand.” The woman in the fedora took a sip.

“You don’t know shit…” Jenny massaged her eyebrows.

“I do… I do, girl... Those damned monsters took the one I loved away, too.” The woman held the glass in front of her eyes to gaze into the golden brown liquid. “Damn all of them!”

“Hmph… then why are you here? This town has been more than welcoming to monsters.” Jennifer stared daggers at the woman while trying to balance her head.

“I have been told that there is a better world out here somewhere… a portal which leads to a world better than ours.”

“Ah… whatever… give me a whiskey too, boss.”

“Rebecca… didn’t you have enough for today? You packed out everything out just a while ago.”

“Let the girl wash away her sorrows.” The woman in the hat smiled. “Barman, give another round to this lady.” She stood up, put her fedora on Becky’s head, and put some gold on the counter. “I have a plan, girl. Tomorrow night I’ll be here again, chat me up if you want to change your life. See ya!”

The woman flipped her shoulder-length ginger hair and left the pub.

“Uuuh~” Jenny groaned, as she didn’t even bother to remove the hat, and fell asleep.



“Stupid Jenny… Do you want to rot away here? You just watch! I’m going to even surpass those monsters! Hehe~Men will BEG for me!”

Rebecca chuckled to herself as she sat in front of the mirror, giggling.

‘I will not wait like you! We are both past twenty-five… pushing our thirties… We knew each other since our childhood, but that will not stop me! I don’t want to get old without a family… even if it takes such a drastic measurement, which is-’

She bit her lips as she started to doubt herself. She knew very well, that changing into a monster meant to be an enemy of the Chief God after all. She gulped and mildly slapped her face.

“Whatever it takes, girl… whatever it takes!” She leaned on the sink and looked into her own blue eyes.


Rebecca’s boss somehow managed the drunk girl to help and put her down in a bed in one of the guest rooms.

“Why did that woman leave her hat here…” He sighed and tried to put the headpiece off from Jenny.

“Huh?” He tried to gently pull it again, but he couldn’t make it move, as if it was glued to her.

“Ah, whatever, I don’t have time for this… especially since your friend just stormed away… eh, whatever, sleep well Becky.” He left the sleeping woman alone in the dark room and closed the door behind himself.

Jenny snarled and turned left, then right, on the bed. In her strange dream, she visited a land where everything was weird and out of proportion. Even the seemingly normal forest had some strange creatures, like talking flowers. The locals were strange too, they would burst into dance and sing randomly, like the walrus who behaved like a human and the carpenter who walked by his side as they were engaged in a deep conversation. It seemed like nothing made sense at all, for anyone who was still sane. Before she could get a full glimpse of them, they distorted as she woke up.

“Ah- ugh. What the hell was that? I’ll never drink this much again… wait, what is this?“

She put her hand on her head as she touched the hat,

“What the hell is this?” She tried to take it off, but the hat didn’t budge.

"Ah… it doesn’t come off.” She pulled it with greater force. “Okay… what is this?! I can’t put it down…” She sat up on the bed and tried to pull it off again.

“Wait… why am I even trying o put it down, it's pretty fashionable, and… what…the...fuck?”

Jennifer’s eyes widened at the words which escaped her mouth as she immediately slapped her palm on her mouth.

‘Why did I say that?!’ She thought as if her own mind played tricks with her.

‘S-strange… I feel like I should… go out…’

‘Wait, no, what am I even saying?!’

‘Yes! I’ll go to Wonderland~ In this fine night! Get to the land which I had dreams about!’


She got on all fours, while she held her head with her hands and grit her teeth. Her breathing became heavy as her body was shaking.

‘I will be so beautiful…’

The room started to melt away.


“Finally, I can change into a monster, to be better, stronger, smarter… and more beautiful!”



“I don’t want to be a monster!”

“They look so beautiful… I’m so jealous of them!”


The room distorted into a mesh of colors as she argued with herself. Jenny saw her own shadow making a smile, and waving at her. She got so scared she almost forgot to breathe.

“AHHH! AAAhhh~ AAh~” The scream she let out soon transformed into a moan, as she saw red and blue particles in front of her eyes, falling everywhere. The source of these particles was the hat, which soon filled the room. She instinctively tried to hold back her breath and put her hands in front of her mouth, but her own shadow grabbed her arm and pulled them off.


“It smells so good~”

The pollens entered her nostrils as she was panting.

“What a great smell~ Hmm, what if I checked the mirror, to see how beautiful I am!” Her body stood up as if it was separated from her mind.

“S-stop controlling me!” Jenny was scared, but at the same time, she felt as if the steps she took were not due to the magical influence, but her own. She looked at the mirror, but the mirror didn’t show her face, but her back, as if she was looking at herself from behind.

“W-what the-?”

The person who was in the mirror wore a top hat. Her left arm leaned in towards it, as she tried to touch the mirror, the woman whose back looked just like hers turned back and made a smug smile at her.

Jenny’s eyes widened as the woman had a face that looked like a more beautiful version of hers. The most noticeable change in the woman in the mirror was her unnatural dark purple eye color.

“Wow… I look-.”


She barely noticed that the lower part of her hat, which from a fedora turned into a top hat, looked as if it had mushroom gills. She touched the headpiece and tried to pull it off as she could easily do it now.

“Huh… I think I look better with it.” She adjusted and tipped it. “Wait… my figure!”

She examined herself in the mirror while smiling and took a few steps back to see her whole body.

“Damn! Not half bad! Especially here!” She grabbed her buttocks, they were nowhere near as round and big before as they were now.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself~”

In the mirror, the woman who she saw at the bar appeared behind Jenny’s image, then she crawled out from it, as if it was an open window.

“Hoho… you changed so fast! I thought it’ll take a while, as you’ll refuse, but it seems like you-”

“I wanted to change!” She finished the sentence, as she didn’t even question how grotesque it was for the woman to just crawl out of the glass as if it was an open window. “I think we should visit my friend, she’ll more than eager to join us!”

“So be it- After we turn her, I’ll show you the place… much better than this one, as you’ll be able to get any man you want! Come with me, Jennifer!” The woman offered her hand, which Jenny eagerly took.


“AH… I don’t want to go to work…”

Rebecca woke up and yawned as she squinted at the clock. She sat up to get a better view of it; it was three AM.

“Why did I wake up… dammit. Mmh…” She rubbed her eyes and sighed. Her mind was all about how she would be a bombshell monster girl. She squeezed her breasts together and let out another sigh.

“I wonder if they can choose what do I become… those cow girls were really lookers.” She clicked her tongue as she remembered how guys turned their heads after two holstaurs. The two cow women’s huge breasts were moving up and down constantly every step they made, it was hard to ignore them, since every guy in the village had their head turn towards the jumping funbags. They got a lot of jealous looks from human women like Jennifer and Rebecca and even monsters too.

“Hmm… me being a holstaur… or maybe something wilder! A minotaur! Heh, I could swing my huge weapon, and get any guy I want! I would just grab ‘em or… ah, I rather not think about that… What else should I be… A weresheep, perhaps? They looked so cute and fluffy…”

“What about a mad hatter?”

“A mad… what?”


She recognized the voice, which belonged to Jennifer, as she immediately sat up and looked left and right in a hurry, but except for her, no one was in the dark room.”

“Becky? You scared me! Wait, where are you?”

“Go to the bathroom, to find out Ahaha~”

“Uh… what… when did you get in… and the way you speak is… different?”

“Just come!”

“Ah… fine… you better not prank me, I barely slept-”

Becky scratched her head, as she tried to figure out what her friend wants at dawn. With a snort, she stood up and opened the door to the bathroom. She frowned as she excepted her to jump out, but no one else was there.

“SO… can you exactly tell me what kind of stupid game you are playing, Jenny? It’s three AM for Chief God’s sake-”

Becky forgot to breathe as she saw her own mirror image waving and smiling at her. She blinked and rubbed her eyes as her mouth gaped. She touched her nose, but her mirror image crossed her arms and smiled smugly at her.

“J-Jenny this trick is not funny at all… are you still drunk? You are scaring me!”

“Becky… you are my best friend, I don’t want to scare you… I want to help!“

The image in the mirror bowed down, then stepped away. Instead of her, an image of a dirt road started to form which lead into a forest.

“I will give you the gift you wanted! A new place, and a new you!”

The voice came directly from behind her, as the shocked girl couldn’t even react and look behind her.


She got pushed right into the mirror, which acted as if it became liquid, and let her fall inside it. As soon as she left the room, the image in the mirror vanished, and so did every trace of Becky and Jenny.


“WELCOME TO WONDERLAND! Dear adventurer~ are you perhaps… single?!

The man tried to open her mouth, but the purple furred werecat, wearing a long purple-black dress immediately cut him off.

“Of course you are! You wouldn’t be here!" The monster girl opened her arms in an exaggerated way. Her ears twitched as she clasped her hands together.”

“Look… can you show me… around or where the exit is?”

“Nyo-ho-ho, exit? What's the hurry? Does your kind have no tea time? Or you fancy caturdays?!”

“Uhh… no?” The man tried to decipher what is a caturday, but he rather did not ask the purple creature. The smug cat's smiling mouth immediately dropped down.

“Bleh… and you want to go back to the land without teatime? NONSENSE! There are two beautiful women here who are more than eager to have some tea with you!”

“Oh….” The man blushed. “Really?”

“Yep! Really! Would I lie? I’m not a kitsune, mind you! Nor a ca—kuk-khuh -ahn-ihne~ Bleh, I hate dog types… very well, youngster! Go forth, then search for the sign! It will lead you to a pawed road to the right! There will you see two ladies with hats, they’ll welcome you! You will receive some tea with snacks! Ah… I fucked up, that one didn’t rhyme…” The cheshire shrugged and pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and puffed it.

“Shit, maybe I’m old for this… I want to settle down.”

The young man just blinked with the cheshire’s mood shift, as her previous smugness completely vanished. She sat down on a rock, snorting and taking a huge spit.

“Excuse me?”

“Go already, dude, you ain’t a catfucker, I can sense it from you. Have your un-birthday or whatever the fuck those two do since the third is on husband hunt. You don’t feel lust for me, so eh… maybe those mushroom brains will like you." She puffed her cig again. “Seriously, what’s with guys who enter Wonderland nowadays? That armored guy, too. ALICE! ALICE! ALCIE! That’s all he parroted… and people say we cheshires are mad and senile. Then he screamed across whole damn Wonderland for my cousin’s help, when he saw the moon, for some Lilimdamn reason.” She snorted again and took a glance at the man while massaging her scalp with her furry paws.

“Just go…” She waved at him, then scratched her armpit, while looking at the plains, unamused.

“O-okay… see you.”


The man left the grumpy purple catgirl, as he walked he still heard the cheshire knocking her high heel into the stone and cursing even from afar. Soon he heard giggling and laughs from a house not so far from him, a sign was pointing towards a garden the voices came from.

‘This must be it! Finally, I can get laid!’

‘All right!’ He thought as he looked over the trimmed hedge where the giggling came from. He spotted three women sitting next to a huge table filled with various cookies, cakes, sweets, teapots, and kettles.

The two women sat on enormous chairs and drank from porcelain cups. They wore a slightly different attire, which resembled suits with pants, with a few frills added. Both of them wore top hats with a numbers ten and six on them. They were quite lookers, even though the suits, it was clear they had outstanding figures. The one on the left, which wore a red attire, noticed the man peeking, her lips curled upward, while she put her black hair behind her ear.

“It’s rather rude just to stare without greeting, you know. Please come in!”

“Ah, sorry I’m Anonymous.” The man opened the gate into the garden and walked inside, while he took a closer glance at the table and the two women. “Pardon me, I’m looking for a way to-”

“Get back to home… we assume…” The second woman with blue clothes finished his sentence and took a sip. “I assume you get through that lovely cat lady.”

“Y-yeah… lovely…”

“Fret not, she’s just in a sour mood… take a seat. You aren’t in a hurry, I assume?” She leaned in so Anon could take a better view of her bosom.

“Ah well… No… not really.”

“Wonderful! Please have some black tea.” The woman in red poured the tea into a cup, which was in front of Anon. “After all, we have to celebrate this wonderful day!”

“Go on, young man, we are not trying to poison you, but if you doubt us…” The woman in blue leaned in now and took a sip from Anon’s cup, leaving a red mark on it. “Here… I think this will suffice.” She grinned at him, then poured tea into another cup, and put it in front of him.”

“Please, have some cookies too! After all, we made them, it would be a waste to let them go stale.”

“Right…” Anon reached out for the chocolate chip cookie, which looked really appetizing for him, even though he wasn’t hungry at all before. As he took a bite from it, his pupils became instantly dilated.

“Wow… this is really good!”

“Ah, thank you for the compliment. Please drink some tea with it.”

He happily took a sip from the cup.

“Ah… I don’t think I have ever tasted such a good black tea.”

“Oh, you flatten as Anon… say, aren’t you a little hot after this fine tea? Your face is all red.”

“Yeah, now that you mention… Miss-”

“Please call me Jenny, this fine lady next to me is Becky.”

“Right Jenny and Becky.”

Anon took his long-sleeved shirt off, as one of the hatters bit her lips. Anon felt both of their gazes on him as his member stiffened. He didn’t even know since he came close to the two women she already inhaled some of their pollens.

“Say Mister Anonymous… you know men don’t just randomly end up in Wonderland…”

“You wanted to end up here, didn’t you? Human women didn’t fancy you?” The woman in red raised her left eyebrow as she took a sip from her cup.

“Ah… well…”

“You wanted to have some… fun with the Wonderland locals. I can’t blame you~” The woman in blue stood up, then sat on the table in front of Anon and crossed her legs.

“We know some ‘fun’ activities… other than tea parties too!” The red-clothed woman got closer to Anon and whispered in his ears.

“You want to fuck us, don’t you?” Jenny put her shoe on Anon’s crotch and gently pushed into his stiff member.

“The guy down here would be more than eager to accept you.” Becky cooed to his ears. “You haven’t been in a threesome before, am I right?”

“Yes… I mean no! I mean… I want to! Wait, what am I even saying?” The words coming out of his mouth seemed to be more truthful than he wanted them as if it was more earnest.

“Relax Anonymous… why don’t you lay on the table?”

“Yeah, that sounds good! I mean, no… I can’t just-”

“Oh, but want to, don’t you?” Jenny made a circular movement in his crotch as Becky licked his left cheek.

“We want you so badly! Don’t want to feel good?”

“Hell yeah, I want to!”

Anon felt as if all of his doubt and resistance were gone, replaced by mad lust over the two women. He stood up while grabbing Becky’s left breast and squeezing it.

“Oho… so rough! Now lay down and let yourself lost in pleasure!”

Both hatters supported Anon to lie down on the table while groping him, as Becky removed his shirt as Jenny undid his pants. Anon didn’t understand why from their hats red and blue particles seemed to fall out.

“What a nice mushroom!”

“Indeed it is!”

“Let us take care of it, dear Anonymous~”

Both women pushed their pantsuits down, they didn’t waste a single minute as Anon’s face met with Becky’s slit and his stiff member with Jenny’s hole. As soon as the two women slammed their hips down, all three of them let out a huge moan.

The fleshy walls squeezed the man’s dickhead, as they took on its shape, while Jenny roughly slammed down on the erect member, without any warning.

“Ooh~” Saliva oozed from her mouth, as she started to ride him more aggressively and with greater tempo.

“Mhhm!” Anon moaned too as his penis was trapped inside the woman. He felt as if her walls lifted his lower part upwards, due to the great sucking force produced by Jenny’s warm hole.

Meanwhile, Becky was grinding herself into Anon’s face and nose, as the man responded by grabbing her buttocks and squeezing them. His tongue traveled all around Becky’s opening, making the girl squirm as juices flowed out into his mouth and dribbled down on his cheeks.

“Ooh… I feel it Jenny, I’m going to-”

“Me too, Anon! Let’s all come together!”


Jenny did a final slam down on the table, which let out a squeaky sound, while she looked upward with a tongue being lolled out, filled with satisfaction. Her best friend grit her teeth and squirted everywhere from the intense orgasm, while Anon couldn’t hold it back either, as Jenny’s final squeeze sucked his balls dry, while the feminine smell of Becky’s juices overloaded his brain. All three of them bathed in the red and blue spores reflected by the sunlight making quite a scenery.

“Now for another round! Let's switch Becky!”


Both women nodded while grinning as the barely recovering man’s eyes widened. Their continued moans and grunts could be easily heard all across Wonderland for many, many hours.

“Tch… well, at least SOMEONE is having fun…” The cheshire cat sighed as she lit up another cig while gazing at Wonderland’s entrance.

“Maybe someday…”