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Distant Guidance

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Conor didn't have too much to drink but he still grabs a bottle of water before going to bed just in case. He skips cleaning his teeth and strips down to his boxers. His phone beeps with a message from Eva and he replies. It had been nice to see everyone again. He still has a bit to sort for New York and suddenly he misses Justin so much even though he'll be seeing him in two weeks.

He calls him and smiles when Justin picks up.

"Hey. You free to talk?"

"Sure, Conor. How are you?"

"Excited, nervous. Can't wait to see you."

"Me either. I've so many plans, places I want to show you."

Conor smiles, "don't forget to ditch all your other blokes before I get there."

"There's been nobody serious and not for a while now. I want us, Conor, not someone who I can close my eyes with and pretend you're there. It never works because they're not you."

"I'm sorry I fucked up, delayed us by a year." He's still nervous about them actually living together but Justin loves him and Conor really wants to be with him.

"Conor. Stop apologising. Not everyone finishes college knowing what they want to do and you've got your act together now. I just want you here whether it's for Gaelic or any other job you might do down the line."

Conor nods even though Justin can't see him. "Last apology and hope you at least enjoyed some of your shags. Cork's not the best place for a hook-up. I don't want to meet some bloke who knows my Da or went to school with one of my cousins or something."

"I get it. Big difference between your dad knowing you're gay and actually acting on it while you're back home."

"Let's just say me and my hand are in quite the long-term relationship right now, even outside of our Skype sessions."

"Poor, baby. I won't drag you into bed the minute you get off the plane but I've thought about us having so much time together, waking up with you all the time and even just getting to kiss you. I want to fuck you too cos you're gorgeous when you're biting your lip and gripping the sheets. I miss the way you're so careful when you top, the way you keep kissing me. I want to find out more about what you like and suck your cock till you're nearly going crazy trying not to thrust into my mouth. I want to get to a place with you where you don't hold back, where you make all the noise you want. I want to get into a routine of shopping and cleaning and our biggest problem being someone forgetting to replace the toothpaste. I want it all, Conor, but mostly just all the little moments we can have living together."

Conor slides his hand under the covers and drops his phone. He fumbles and picks it up.

"Sorry, dropped my phone."

"How come you called anyway? Skype wouldn't have cost anything."

"Yeah but I've used my packet data and there's no point topping up cos I'm leaving. My laptop charger is downstairs and I just had to talk to you. Was trying to do this conversation one handed when I dropped the phone."

"Want me to hang up and leave you to it?" Justin asks teasingly.

"No! Like listening to you, remembering all the things we've done."

"Okay, let's do this. Is it always me you think of?"

"Mostly, hang on a sec," Conor says holding the phone between his head and shoulder. He pushes his duvet back and gets his boxers down a bit. "I'm ready."

"Close your eyes and think about being here with me. Think about my lips at your throat, my hand on your arse pulling you tight against me. You can feel how turned on I am, Conor, all for you. I'll lay you out on my bed, our bed, and touch you all over. Sorry, Conor, I'm bad at this."

"You're really not. I know what the room looks like, I can imagine us there. Keep going. Please."

Conor strokes his cock as Justin tells him all the things he wants to do; how he'll kiss him, the way he'll get Conor stretched slowly with his fingers and Conor wants that so much. Justin talks about kissing his way down Conor's stomach and sucking his cock. He remembers the last time they actually got together, before Liam and before graduation and pictures the way Justin had looked on his knees.

"You've gone quiet on me."

Conor grunts.

"Are you close to coming? If I were with you now I'd take things slowly and wrap my hand round yours to slow your strokes. I'd kneel behind you so I could watch over your shoulder and pinch your nipple with my other hand hoping to make you moan. We've had so few times that I don't even know if you like that. I'd like to hear you plead for me to let you go quicker, have you tremble in my arms as I finally let you come. I'd hold you afterwards, kiss you and enjoy the blissed out smile on your face. You're gorgeous, Conor, and I can't wait to actually touch you again. I can't decide if I want to be pinned to the bed or fuck you first. Bet you must be so close now. Just two more weeks till we can be together."

Conor is listening but he's replaying memories in his head and imagining all the things he's yet to try. He is close and he actually misses what Justin says as he comes.

"I take it from the heavy breathing, we've got a sticky situation."

Conor grabs a tissue for a quick wipe. "Thanks. I've been counting the days and I might make it as far as the car park before kissing you."

"Parking lots over here."

"You'll have to give me an American to English dictionary. Either way I'll probably kiss you. With the time difference I probably won't be too tired, unless my leaving do is a late one."

"With your GAA mates?"

"Yeah and family."

"You'll be hungover so," says Justin laughing. "Look this call must be costing you a fortune."

"Nearly as much as one of them chat lines, I imagine. Worth it though."

"Get me on Skype tomorrow, my afternoon."

"Night, Justin. Love you."

"Love you lots, Conor."

After hanging up, Conor gets himself cleaned up, pulls up his boxers and gets comfy under the duvet. New York is going to be an adventure and it's more than a year since he saw Justin in person, since he touched him. They'll be lucky if it's only kissing in the car.