Chapter Text
“I said I don't care, Yamaguchi.”
How many times had he said this already? Today he'd counted three, but over the last week it was surely a three digit number. Tsukishima was getting bored and so tired with this discussion. He was convinced he would devellop a rash against Yamaguchi's concern, at this rate.
“But Tsukki, are you sure you don't-”
“Yes.” Unwilling to let this drag out any longer he turned on his heel and paced off, trying to look determined and chill rather than pouty and dejected, which he wasn't, okay. It was all in Yamaguchi's mind, he really truly didn't care.
“Well, okay then, see ya tomorrow, Tsukki!” The blond didn't bother with an answer, and didn't turn to see his friend run back to his girlfriend for a fun night out. It's true that Tsukishima didn't care that Yamaguchi and Yachi had gotten together. He was happy for his friend, of course. It didn't mean he necessarily liked being abandoned and left to his own all the time, but that was only natural, right? Yamaguchi had been at his side so persistently for so long, and he'd always thought he kind of hated it, even though he knew perfectly well that was a filthy lie. It annoyed him more that his veil of indiference had been ruined by the disappearance of his friend than that his friend had dissappeared. Which he hadn't, not really. They still hang out a lot, but before they'd hang out always, and Tsukishima had had to kick Yamaguchi from his side if he wanted some alone time, and now... now he just had so much time, he was starting to get a little bored with his music, even... just a little.
Worst was Yamaguchi's concern, really. If he was so worried about leaving his Tsukki alone on the walk back home or on a study-saturday, then he just shouldn't. Or at least stop insisting that he “join us!” or that Yamaguchi was “so sorry to abandone you!”.
Next he'd start trying to pair him up with somebody or something. Pathetic.
---
He started trying to pair him up with somebody.
It was even more annoying than the apologies and invitation to be a third wheel, even though Tsukishima knew fully well that he too could have fun with them. They weren't painfully clingy, and though a little too hyper for his tastes, Yachi was a nice and friendly girl. She'd seem a little down ever since the senpais had graduated, and even Tsukishima had felt a pang of happiness for her when she brightened after she got together with his best friend. In the end, he just didn't like the idea of going with them on one of their dates because it seemed so... pitiful.
Now he was being invited onto their dates to keep company to some other friend of their manager, and Tsukishima was about to jump out of a window.
“She's really nice, and I asked her and she said dinosaurs are really cool and--”
“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”
“Sorry Tsukki, but--”
“No buts. I'm going home.”
“Oh, well, maybe next time then?”
He walked off without another word. Yamaguchi's attempts at making him not feel bad over his relationship was the worst thing that happened to their friendship since the relationship itself. Better yet, Yachi's 'appearance' had barely dented it, compared with how enfuriating the matchmaking thing had been. If this didn't stop soon he doesn't know what he'll do.
---
It doesn't stop, and Tsukishima doesn't know what to do. So he does something stupid.
“Pleaaaase Tsukki, I'm sure you'd like her, and--”
“I'm already with somebody.”
Yamaguchi blinks, perplexed. “What.”
“I'm already seeing somebody, so please stop trying to hook me up.”
Yamaguchi is still blinking a lot, his mouth dropping open a little. It looks ridiculous, and for a split second Tsukishima wonders if showing this face to Yachi would make her break up with him. He shakes his head at the thought. It's not actually like he wants them apart: it seems to be making them both very happy, disgustingly so. No, he just wants them to leave him out of it.
“Who?” Yamaguchi seems to be restricted to single word questions, and Tsukishima would snort at his friend's simplemindedness and inability to deal, but he's kind of busy letting his own mouth drop open at that. He hadn't actually planned on this claim, and didn't really have, like, a proper planned alibi ready or anything...
“What?” He answers, to buy himself some time.
“Who is it? Do I know her? Why didn't you tell me?” Yamaguchi seems to be recovering from the shock as Tsukishima settles into his, and his eyes are shining, his body seeming to vibrate with some kind of happy eagerness that pisses him off only because it reminds him of Hinata.
“It's not a girl.” He grumbles as an answer, before he realizes what he is saying. He'd been trying so hard to deny that it was part of his irritation at the blind double dates, and now all his hard work and effort has been annihilated with a single line. Sometimes he is so incredibly stupid, he wonders if all the volleyball is starting to affect his brain. And by volleyball he means his teammates, obviously, not the sport itself, which had no fault.
Yamaguchi is silent as his eyes near popped out of his skull and his cheeks glow red. “Wh- what?”
“I'm not dating a girl.” Tsukishima mumbles a repeat, a little blush rising to his own cheeks.
“Oh my god...” Yamaguchi looks struck, his mouth hanging open and his cheeks still ablaze. For a moment something clenches in Tsukishima's guts, a type of anxiety he'd faced before when thinking of coming out with this fact, but never felt when thinking of Yamaguchi. He never doubted that he'd accept, and it drives chills up and down his spine when he sees in front of him the reality of rejection.
And then Yamaguchi bends at the waist and bows a perfect 90 degrees and Tsukishima has to blink the burn out of his eyes when he finally computes the words his friend is saying:
“OH GOD TSUKKI I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW I'M SO SO SORRY--”
He seems to be sniffling, and Tsukishima can't keep the smile from stretching his face. Desperate to put his friend out of his misery though, he puts a hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder and drags him back up. Surely, there are tears in his eyes and his chest is bouncing in little upset hiccups. Their eyes meet but the freckled friends seems to not see the forgiving smile in them. “I'm so so so- so sorry Tsukki! I didn't know, I never m-meant to-- I'm so sorry!”
It's an impulse thing, and will probably never happen again, but Tsukishima pulls Yamaguchi into his arms and hugs him. It's nice, in a kind of let's-only-rarely-ever-do-this-again kind of way, and Tsukishima lets his best friend cling to him until he's calmed down.
He finally pulls away, but is clearly not done apologizing just yet. “I'm so sorry, Tsukki, really, I-”
“It's ok.” The rare smile is still on his lips, and sloppily Yamaguchi attempts a smile back.
“Gods, I'm so embarrassed... why didn't you tell me you didn't like girls, Tsukki?”
A shrug is the only answer he can give, and the only he offers up too. Yamaguchi cleans his face on his sleeve and tries for another smile- or rather, this is more of a grin, really. “Well, who is it?”
“What?” It takes Tsukishima a moment to remember how this conversation got where it was, and then he shakes his head. “Oh, just... somebody.”
Yamaguchi looks like he wants to press on, but decides to let it slide, a small happy smile on his lips. He calls off Yachi, and walks home with his Tsukki. It's nice, and they don't talk about it anymore.
Finally, it's over.
---
It's not over.
Three days. Three days was how long the peace lasted before Yamaguchi started, each time less subtly, badgering him about who his boyfriend was, and when he was going to get to meet him, and if he'd ever be willing to go on a real double date and so on and so on.
It's slowly driving Tsukishima nuts. It feels far more real than any of the attempts of setting him up with a nice girl, and somehow it makes Tsukishima feel kind of bad. He doesn't want a relationship, not actually, but... he doesn't really know what the but is. Perhaps it's the desire to have somebody else to fill that time Yamaguchi leaves empty. He doesn't really know. But he does know he needs a plan, needs a claim, needs somebody to personify this “boyfriend” or his best friend will never drop his case. He only wishes it wasn't all out of the best intent. He can't even get angry at Yamaguchi for all of this...
They're walking home together, and Yamaguchi is extra chipper. It's a little irritating.
“The new Jurassic park movie is coming out soon.”
Tsukishima doesn't deign that with an answer. Like he doesn't know that.
“What about going with your boyfriend and--”
“Please stop.”
“What, Tsukki, I just want to--”
“No. Stop.”
“At least tell me his name, Tsukki...”
Tsukishima had given this some thought. And came out mostly blank. He couldn't think of anyone that'd be willing to cover for him... unless it meant subjecting himself to embarrassment beyond believe. He knew some that might be up for an opportunity to have something to hold over his head for the rest of their lives. It was starting to sound almost appealing. Then again, Tsukishima wasn't stupid. If he gave Yamaguchi a name, it'd only be the end of THAT nagging...
“C'mon, Tsukki, pleaaaasee!”
So help him god. “It's Kuroo.” He should've probably contacted him before he came out with this, but whatever. He could always do it later. He didn't doubt that Kuroo would be willing to play along.
“K-Kuroo?” Yamaguchi seemed incapable of processing this, and Tsukishima didn't know if that was because he was too perplexed at suddenly getting an answer after nagging about it for ages, or if it was because of the name. His freckled friend shook his head and blinked twice. “Like, Nekoma's Kuroo?”
Tsukishima sighed, already dreading his choice. “The one and only.”
Against all odds, a little smile sprang onto Yamaguchi's lips. “That's great, Tsukki. Somehow that makes so much sense...” He stares at his sneakers, and Tsukki's neck-hairs stand up at the sight of the happy indulgent quirk of the other's lips. He also wonders what the hell that's supposed to mean. “I'm happy for you, Tsukki.”
Tsukishima almost feels bad for lying to his friend at that moment. It's quickly forgotten once Yamaguchi starts his avalanche of questions about their relationship and sketching up plans for them to all get together.
Things can't get any worse, can they.
---
Of course things get worse.
Kuroo T. » So let me get this straight (gay?)
Kuroo T. » You want me to pretend to be your perfect and fabulous boyfriend, so that your little freckled friend will stop trying to set you up with cute little highschool girls?
Tsukishima Kei » yes
Kuroo T. » Aha.
Tsukishima Kei » you'll do it?
Kuroo T. » I don't know. I missed the part where I get something out of it.
Tsukishima Kei » you get to annoy me. Unfortunately
Kuroo T. » Tempting, Tsukki, very tempting indeed.
Tsukishima Kei » you'll do it or what?
Kuroo T. » You know I can't resist helping a fair maiden in peril. Consider me your knight in shining armour!
Tsukishima Kei » fml
Kuroo T. » So, what's the plan. Do we go facebook official?
Tsukishima Kei » I hate facebook
Kuroo T. » But babe, it was what brought us together! Without facebook our love would have stayed a far off concept, only a butterfly's wing flap away from inexistance!
Tsukishima Kei » I changed my mind
Kuroo T. » Poor Tsukki. Am I not the prince you wanted?
Tsukishima Kei » you're a fucking dragon
Kuroo T. » Love you too.
Kuroo T. » But now seriously. Tell me what you've said so far so we can get our stories straight. If we're gonna fake date, we'll have the best fucking fake romance ever. I will settle for nothing less.
Tsukishima Kei » I'm doomed
It's two in the morning on a schoolday when Tsukishima finally manages to turns off his laptop, and he's exhausted. Strangely enough though, he feels like he could fall into a worriless sleep. Kuroo was the right choice in this sense. Sure it burned his whole night, but they have a firm plan in place, a whole background established, even a few personal details exchanged for “veracity's sake”, as Kuroo put it. It was kind of nice, actually, teasing aside.
He goes to bed knowing this will work out okay. Laying under his warm blanket he thought about how surprising it was that Kuroo wrote, capitalized and punctuated all his messages decently. His phone whistled, warning him of a text, and he snorted into his pillow after reading.
Unknown:
> make sure 2 save m nmbr! gn8
---
Tsukishima didn't have a decent night of sleep until the weekend arrived. Kuroo pestered him into adding him on skype too, and the former captain has become completely unavoidable. They've talked until the am hours every day ever since Kuroo accepted Tsukishima's plan, and it's been strangely entertaining. Kuroo laughed his ass off when Tsukishima accepted that the alternative to him was Bokuto, and the blond knows it's not completely unwarranted. He only became annoyed when he was video-called an hour later, and said Bokuto appeared at Kuroo's side, whining and pouting as if rejected.
He later learned that Bokuto already has a boyfriend actually, and for a moment he's shell shocked.
“But you. You don't actually have somebody, right?” He asks at the Kuroo on his screen. He doesn't know why he hasn't ended the call yet, but it's not as annoying as he thought it'd be.
“Pfft, you're a bit late with that, aren't you?” Kuroo grins, and Tsukishima gives him the flattest stare back. “Nah, I'm all yours Tsukki, don't worry.”
“Good,” Tsukishima huffs, and Kuroo grins back. (He doesn't want the imagine the potential drama if otherwise had been true. This was still, after all, a strategy to make his life easier, and misunderstood love triangles did not in any way or form qualify as easy.)
By the time the next week starts, Yamaguchi is again curious. Tsukishima has it all mapped out, knows all the right answers (except something here or there, but it doesn't raise Yamaguchi's suspicions that he doesn't know whether Kuroo ever went to disneyland and what exactly he is studying) and after strange long walks and time spent talking about significant others (which is more entertaining than it'd ever be if it were the truth), Yamaguchi returns to a topic Tsukishima wished, but knew wouldn't be that easily forgotten.
“We could go watch Jurassic World next weekend...”
“Sure.”
“Do you think Kuroo-san will be able to come over?” Well fuck. It's not like Tsukishima truly believed that wouldn't come up next, but he'd hoped, okay?
He sighed. “I don't know. Isn't it exam time soon or so?”
“Tsukki! Don't be mean like that, just ask him!”
“Fine, fine.”
He's surprised, later that day, when Kuroo logs onto skype, that he actually asks the question.
Kuro as my soul: A date with Tsukki? Finally, for real?
Tsukishima Kei: Yamaguchi wont shut up about it. I think he'll drop it if we do it once
Kuro as my soul: Wow, Tsukki, I don't do it on a first date, who do you think I am?
Tsukishima Kei: Kuroo Tetsurou.
Kuro as my soul: Ouch. Well, fine, when?
He could barely believe this was actually being agreed to. They'd actually have a double date and Yamaguchi would finally stop badgering him. Though, admittedly, he'd gotten a lot better at letting Tsukishima be since he'd come forth with a name. Tsukishima tries to ignore how it might have something to do with him actually having somebody to fill the time. Kuroo's texting is horrible, compared to his typing, but he says he doesn't have the patience for phone's sorry excuses for a writing system, and Tsukishima can kind of get where he is coming from. He always answers, though, and Tsukishima only pretends to be answering a text half the time he wants Yamaguchi to stop looking at him pitifully- the other half he has actual stuff to answer. It's not always Kuroo, but... it pretty much is.
Kuroo is also notably easier to put up with when he's not so in one's face. Also, when Bokuto is not around. They are often together, though they don't room together, and Kuroo seems to get that much more annoying when his friend is with him. Tsukishima likes Bokuto, well enough at least, and definitely looks up to him in volleyball, but can't say he likes the effect he has on his not-boyfriend. The strangest part of this revelation was really the idea that he liked talking with Kuroo otherwise.
Kuro as my soul: Tsukkiiiiiiiii, wheeeeeeeheeeeeeeeennnn
Tsukishima Kei: how's next weekend?
Kuro as my soul: Good. I have a paper to give in on monday though, but I should have it done before the weekend.
Tsukishima Kei: we can postpone if you want
Tsukishima Kei: what do you study, actually?
Kuro as my soul: Nah, I'm good.
Kuro as my soul: Modern Literature.
Kuro as my soul: What time is the movie?
Suddenly Kuroo's proper typing makes sense to him, and his random purple prose all falls in place. He snorts at the ridiculous uselessness of it, and stores the info away case Yamaguchi asks again.
It's about halfway through Kuroo trying to figure out schedules that Tsukishima's conscience wakes up. He is making Kuroo come all the way over here to Miyagi just to watch a movie with him on a weekend before a big assignment delivery. What kind of moron would agree to that?
Kuro as my soul: Last train back is at about 10 though.
Tsukishima Kei: I'll pay for your ticket
Kuro as my soul: How far is it from the cinema to the station?
Kuro as my soul: what
Kuro as my soul: What what WHAT
Tsukishima Kei: it's not fair for you to spend money on the shinkansen, so I'll pay
Kuro as my soul: I'll have you know that I have a part time job. Your parents don't need to pay my ride.
Tsukishima Kei: fuck you, I don't want to owe you any more than I already do
Kuro as my soul: Just pay my movie ticket then, like a good date, huhm?
Tsukishima Kei: fu
He tries, but in the end is derailed again and again. The conversation ends with Kuroo laughing so loud about the movie they'll be watching that Tsukishima feels he can hear it.
He almost blocks the asshole from his skype, regretting every choice he's ever made.
---
He kind of wishes he'd blocked Kuroo from his skype, because at least then he'd know why he's not showing up online. It's 10pm on a thursday night and Tsukishima is bored. Normally he'd be getting ready for bed, grumbling to himself about having to wake up early for practice. But he's gotten so used to talking to Kuroo before going to bed, it feels strange for him to not be there. He's a little annoyed when he finally turns the computer off and stuffs himself into bed, having heard nothing off the other in what feels like ages.
He wakes up in what looks like the middle of the night, and it is. His phone, which he'd apparently left next to his pillow, rattled him with it's annoying whistle, and when he blearily looks at the screen he has two messages, both received at 3:49.
Kuroo:
> wrk al finishd! Redi 4 tsukiworld~!
> gn8!
He snorts, but most certainly doesn't turn around and fall asleep with a stupid grin on his face.
---
He'd turned around and fallen asleep with a fucking smile on his face, and Tsukishima thinks he might have a problem. He's not entirely sure what the problem is, exactly, but he's certain something is wrong. It's friday lunch hour and he's sitting with almost the whole volleyball club outside in the grass.
He's anxious. He's nervous, nearly dreading the weekend. He can see Yamaguchi send him questioning gazes, but ignores his friend. He's grateful, now more than ever, that Yamaguchi accepted and respected his wish to not tell the whole world about his pretend relationship. Even if Tsukishima is pretty certain Hinata and Kageyama are not as platonic as they want to make everybody believe, and their former captain and vice-captain were as good as married, he still doesn't want to put his sexuality out there. The less any of these idiots know about him, the better, by his books.
Yamaguchi manages to hold his questions during lunch, but latches onto him the moment they all part and walk home after practice. “What's up, Tsukki?”
“I don't feel like this weekend.” He admits, in a moment of weakness. It's been so long since he spoke the truth with Yamaguchi. He's gotten tired of lying and watching his every move... it wasn't like he was the most open person before, but if he could be honest with anybody, it was his best friend. Perhaps he should just come clean and forget about the whole thing...
Who is he kidding, he knows he'd never be able to face the disappointment in Yamaguchi's face if he did that. Damn, he's fucked, isn't he...
“Why? We- we don't have to do the double date, you know, if you just want to spend time with Kuroo-san...”
“That's not it. I...” He pauses, then grits out, before he can change his mind, “I'm nervous.”
“Oh... well, Tsukki, you know,” Yamaguchi fidgets with his bag strap, and Tsukishima starts to think that whatever will come out of his mouth next couldn't possibly be anything good, “you don't have to, like, do anything you don't want... I mean, just because he's older doesn't mean... euhmmm...”
Tsukishima stares at Yamaguchi, and Yamaguchi stares back, cheeks red but eyes determined to pass whatever message he's trying to transmit. It takes the blond a moment to realize what is being said, and when it finally computes his eyes blow big.
“What, no, why, oh my god, no no no. No.” He shakes his head and almost wants to cover his ears with music to blur this whole thing out. He did not just say that. No. Just. No way.
“I'm sorry, I'm just saying, Tsukki!! I can imagine that him staying the night might feel like a lot of pressure but--”
“What?! He's not staying, why would he stay?!”
Then it's Yamaguchi's turn to pause and stare. “Well. Euhm. He's coming all the way from Tokyo right. In the weekend, so he can stay. You-- I mean. Oh. I just. I thought. Sorry Tsukki!!”
It's only then that Tsukishima goes red. He's embarrassed, because it should've been obvious. More than offering a train ticket, he should've been offering a bed and a meal. His brother's room is empty most of the time anyway, and they have extra futons, and he's sure his parents would only be happy if he had a friend over.
“I'm so sorry Tsukki, I really didn't mean to-”
“It's ok.” He says, but stomps off angrily anyway. He'll tell Yamaguchi that it wasn't him he was angry with tomorrow. There is something he desperately needs to be doing now.
He gets home, goes to his room, puts his headphones on at high volume and grabs a book. He doesn't touch his laptop for the whole night, and ignores his phone every time it whistles.
After dinner he finally looks at the text's he's received. He sends a curt confirmation Kuroo's way, and goes to bed early, determined to ignore his mistake, and the revelation that he wants to correct it.