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Tabloid War

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Steve wasn´t quite sure how this game had been created.

He knew that Peter had been on his "the press and especially JJJ hate me"-trip and Tony had offered him a tabloid article with the headline "Tony Stark - cyborg in disguise" practically as a consolation. It had worked and cheered Peter up.

MJ and Jessica had quickly joined them in their game and soon all of the Avengers were busy comparing the cheesiest, trashiest tabloid articles concerning the Avengers or the superhero business. But in the last weeks, things got a little out of hand.

"Did you guys knew that I´m the unholy spawn of the pagan godess Arachne, sent here to enslave humanity?" asked Peter cheerily. He was curled up with MJ on the small couch and both were browsing glossy magazines with brightly colored, broad headlines.

"No, Webhead, must have slipped your mind." Luke replied. He sat next to his wife and watched her skimming through her magazine and occassionally glancing at the headlines.

Steve usually didn´t join in, because not many people dared to write tabloid articles about Captain America and the whole game seemed silly and childish to him.

"Luke, why didn´t you invite me to those Heroes for Hire-orgies? After all, I seem to have a thing for Misty." Jessica said, pointing at the article in her magazine. The Avengers laughed.

Jess started grinning and passed a magazine around which showed an obviously photoshopped picture of Tony kissing a dark-haired man in a black tuxedo. "Gee, you´re dating Bruce Wayne, again?"
Tony snorted. "According to the tabloids we´re practically married. And have three kids."

"And here I thought you dated Sue behind Reed´s back..." Peter offered, holding up his magazine.


"Oh, wait" MJ chimed in, cleared her throat and quoted "Tony Stark, genius, engineer and CEO of Stark Enterprises has been seen repeatedly with Mary Jane-"
"Tony! Hands off my wife! I´ve told you several times!" Peter mocked. MJ smiled, laced their fingers together and squeezed lightly.

"It gets better: Tony Stark: Technophilia - why I created Ironman. Bedroom secrets, robot sex and more." Jess read aloud.

Tony grinned. "Ok, that´s a new one. The only reason why a billionaire playboy who is in the 100 most handsome man in the world - list creates a high-tech suit of armor is to have sex with it - how original."

"This is getting repetitive...and pretty boring." Steve said. Tony watched him with a raised eyebrow and then a smug grin spread on his face.

"You´re jealous." he stated.

"What?! No, I´m not!" Steve protested.

"Yes, you are." Tony teased. He wrapped his arms around Steve´s neck and pecked his cheek. "It´s just tabloids, Steve - all lies."

Steve huffed dramatically, but used his arm around Tony´s waist to pull him closer. The big couch did have its advantages.

"Spiderwoman and Spiderman - arachnide love relationship" Luke went on.

"Dr Doom: Ironman´s evil twin?" Jess suggested.

"Power Man and Iron Fist - love affair" Peter countered.

"Spiderwoman dates Broadway actress" MJ said. "Wait, this is me again..."

"Spiderman: secret government cloning experiment gone wrong" Tony threw in.

"Is Tony Stark an alien?" Peter replied.

"Love blossoms in New York: Captain America and Ironman - a new dynamic relationship of two Avengers" Steve read aloud.

There was total silence in the living room. Then the Avengers burst into laughter.
"I think Steve wins this one" Jess declared, "no article can be better than the truth."