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Good News, Bad Timing- Oneshot

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Title: Good News, Bad Timing
Category: Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Romance/Drama
Ship: Darcy/Clint
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,675
Status: Complete
Summary: Darcy tells Clint some good news at the wrong time and he ends up in the infirmary.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I own nothing...sadly.
Part of the Avenger's Family series

When Darcy told him she was pregnant, she decided, for some reason, to tell him while he was practicing at the range. She came to stand next to him, obviously bubbling over with something. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement, yet she looked nervous.

Leaning over he pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. “Hey Darlin’. What’s up?”

“I have something I need to tell you,” she said, gnawing on her lip.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, glancing at her as he let go of the arrow, nailing the target.

She nodded and he watched her silently struggle for the words as he drew back his bow again. Waiting for her to speak, he absently continued shooting.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted quickly.

As the words came out of her mouth, his brain stuttered to a stop and he dropped his bow to his side, fingers releasing in shock, promptly sending the arrow straight into his foot.

“Holy shit!” Darcy shouted, reaching wrap her arms around him. Holding onto him tightly she struggled to lower him gently to the ground as he collapsed. “Are you okay?”

“What the hell…” he growled.  “Of course I’m not okay, there’s an arrow sticking out of my fucking foot!”

Darcy bit her lip as she struggled not to laugh, feeling terrible at his predicament and yet finding it funny. “Hang on, Babe I’ll get some help.” Pulling out her phone she dialed Coulson, putting the phone on speaker.

“Yes, Darcy, how can I help you?” he sighed heavily, bemusement filling his voice.

“Hey Bossman…wait, why do I have to need something to call you?” she asked indignantly.

He smiled. “You never call me unless you’re in trouble or you need something.”

“That hurts my feelings Phil. Maybe I was just calling to say hi.”

“Darcy!” Clint shouted in exasperation. “Arrow through the foot here, remember?”

She winced. “Right. Okay so I was calling for help…Clint…uh…he shot himself in the foot.”

“I’m sorry…” Coulson shook his head; sure he was imagining the picture her words invoked. “I thought I heard you say he shot himself in the foot.”

“That’s what I said,” Darcy sighed. “I may have told him something big while he was practicing and he…uh shot himself in the foot.”

“He shot…himself…in the foot,” Coulson repeated slowly.

Darcy snorted. “Yep, so could you send someone down to carry him to medical please?”

“Sure,” Coulson . “Natasha-”

“Hell no! She’ll just laugh at me,” Clint muttered. “Damn it, I don’t need any help, I can get there on my own.”

“Oh yeah Gimpy, you gonna hop all the way there?” Darcy asked sarcastically. “I’m not an invalid, I can help you.”

“I’m not having my pregnant wife carry me to medical,” he said stubbornly.

Coulson couldn’t hide his amusement. “Any requests on who you’d like to escort you to medical Agent Barton? Since you shot yourself?”

Clint sighed. “Just send Steve down.”

“Roger that,” Coulson said, hanging up the phone and dropping his head onto his desk as he couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. Wiping away tears he picked up his phone and dialed Steve.

Darcy sat down and pulled Clint’s head into her lap, watching as he closed his eyes and breathed through the pain. “I’m so sorry Clint, I wasn’t thinking. I was gonna wait till later but I was so excited and nervous I couldn’t keep it in anymore. It just came out,” she said, brushing a hand through his hair. Big fat tears welled up and she sniffled trying to hold them back.

Opening his eyes Clint looked up at her, catching the glint of tears. “Don’t cry Darlin’.”

“It’s all my fault though!”

“It’s not your fault, it was an accident. I wasn’t paying enough attention to what I was doing. Though you can’t really blame me, my brain kinda stopped functioning after what you said.” Reaching up he brushed a tear from her cheek, a smile spreading across his face. “So, a baby huh?”

Darcy nodded tearfully. “I know we said we wanted to wait, that we wanted to talk about it some more…we’ve been so careful-” she broke off, biting at her lip nervously. “Are you upset?”

“How could I be upset?” he asked softly, a smile filled with wonder spreading across his face. “We made a baby Darcy. I’m going to be a father.  I don’t know what a normal family looks like, it’s not like I had a great example of one…”

“You’re going to be a great father,” she whispered brushing a kiss over his forehead. “Look at all the people we have around us. We’re a family now; we might be a dysfunctional family,” she laughed. “But an amazing one and this baby is going to grow up surrounded by love and be completely spoiled.”

Clint groaned. “Oh I can just imagine what Tony’s going to buy for the kid. He’ll be the rich uncle who buys them ridiculously extravagant toys or a car when they can’t even drive yet.”

Darcy snorted. “Tony? I’m more worried about Pepper and Natasha.  Natasha’s gonna show up with toys that can be turned into deadly weapons, and Pepper’ll be the one buying ridiculous toys.”

“Natasha is not allowed to give our kid anything that even resembles a weapon,” Clint growled.

A voice interjected. “Your kid?”

Looking up they saw Steve standing there a look of confusion on his face. Clint grinned up at him dopily. “Hey Steve! I’m gonna be a father!”

A huge grin lit up Steve’s face. “Seriously? That’s awesome!” He pulled Darcy to her feet and into a gentle hug. “I’m happy for you,” he said softly.

“Yeah, while this is awesome news, can we please get to the infirmary? I’d like to live to see my kid, not bleed out on the floor,” Clint griped jokingly, unable to keep the smile off his face.

Darcy’s eyes widened. “Yes, let’s go. Could you help him Steve?”

Steve bent down next to Clint trying to figure out the best way to carry him. “Fireman’s carry or the princess carry?” He asked with a grin.

Clint glared at him. “Fireman’s carry,” he growled. While it would probably hurt more, there was no way he was being carried like a girl in Steve’s arms.

Steve grabbed him and hauled him over his shoulder. “C’mon Darcy let’s get your expert marksman of a husband off to the infirmary.”

“Hey!” Clint protested. “I’m the world’s greatest marksman!”

Steve snorted. “Clint, you shot yourself in the foot!”

“It wasn’t my fault! Darcy decided it was a good to tell me I was going to be a father while I was shooting. Can you blame me for being distracted?”

“No matter what you should always be focused. You can’t let anything distract during such things or else you could be seriously injured.” Steve said gravely, trying to hide the amusement in his voice. “Which you’ve obviously learned today.”

“You know Steve, we need to limit your exposure to Tony. He’s corrupting you,” Clint groused.

Darcy and Steve gave each other sideways looks, lips crooking into shared smiles. As they entered the infirmary they were quickly directed to a room where Steve laid Clint down on one of the beds.

Medical staff rushed over and began to work on him, immediately deciding that he had to be sent into surgery to remove the arrow. They drugged him up and prepped him, then let him sit for a moment as they readied for everything else.

In the lull, Darcy crawled up on the bed with him, and he rested his head on her breasts as she wrapped her arms around him. Closing his eyes, his thoughts swirled around the news she’d given him. Pressing a hand to Darcy’s stomach he caressed it gently, imagining the small person now growing inside. Unable to suppress his smile, he pressed a kiss to her belly.  He found that the thought of having kids didn’t scare him; he just had absolutely no experience with them and no idea of what a father was supposed to be like. His father had been a drunk and abusive, making his childhood a living hell.

“I’m not gonna be like him,” he whispered.

Darcy cupped his face, forcing him to look at her. “Babe, you are nothing like him. In spite of all he did to you, you became a man who cares about others, who is kind, brave, and honorable. He couldn’t beat that out of you as much as he tried to! You already are a better father, man, and husband than he ever could be.”

He couldn’t help but smile at her vehemence, her complete faith in him. He’d never had someone believe in him like his wife did, who understood him even when he didn’t. It was one of the things he loved most about her, and it made him strive to be that better man. “I love you Darcy. I can’t wait for this baby to come into our lives,” he whispered, laying his head back down, staring, mesmerized as he rubbed her belly.

“I love you too,” she smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I bet you want a little boy, right? He’ll end up just like you, with those gray eyes, blonde hair and a penchant for mischief. You can teach him how to shoot a bow and be just like his Daddy.”

Clint shook his head. “I just want them to be healthy and to have their mother’s eyes. They will be perfect no matter what we have.”

 A nurse came back in to wheel him to surgery. Darcy slid off the bed pressing another kiss to his head. “I love you Babe. I’ll be right here when you get out.”

“K. Love you too,” he mumbled.

As they finished prepping him and gave him the anesthesia, he slipped into sleep, dreaming of a small blonde haired boy with a big grin, firing suction cup arrows from a toy bow…and calling him Daddy.