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Gone to Hell

Chapter Text

|◁ II ▷|

I'm only happy when it rains

I'm only happy when it's complicated

And though I know you can't appreciate it

I'm only happy when it rains

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

Day 67 & 68 - 1:26 PM

Music - Track 5 - Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage

Kirishima nudges your shoulder from the couch with his foot, startling you from the warm and happy memories of your first few days at the cabin. “Welcome back.” He grins at you. “Where did you go in that pretty head of yours?”

You blush, but answer honestly. “Just remembering the first few days at Bakugou’s cabin.”

Kirishima nods, a nostalgic smile spreading across his face. “Maybe one day we can go back.”

Bakugou grunts in agreement from the kitchen table. “We will. Just as soon as we find Deku and get this shit taken care of.”

You look up at Bakugou and smirk as his eyes meet yours. “You miss it, too?”

“‘Course I do. I’d rather be stuck there with you two idiots than out here.” He says without hesitation. If you had blinked, you’d have missed the tinge of pink coating his cheeks and the tops of his ears. It was there for just a brief moment. Seems like he’s having the same thoughts as me and Kirishima.

After you all finish eating, Kirishima stands up and slowly stretches. You join him, a yawn escaping you. When you look over at Bakugou, he has his map spread across the small kitchen table, his fingers tracing paths to the radio tower. You walk to the table and look over his shoulder. “How are we doing, boss?” You ask playfully. You used to call him boss all the time at the agency which really got on his nerves.

He rolls his eyes at you, but doesn’t bother looking up. “I’m not your boss anymore. Are you ever going to stop calling me that?”

You shook your head. “Never. But seriously, where are we headed next?”

Bakugou points at the map to the street the house is on. “We’re here. There’s nothing but fields and farmland between here and the next city though. Hopefully we can find shelter there. If not, we have the tent.” He ignores your loud groan and continues. “We’re making good time, all things considered. We should reach the radio tower in a few days at the most.”

Kirishima grins at you. “Don’t wanna sleep in a tent, babe?”

You shoot a glare at him and pout jokingly. “Shush.”

Bakugou shakes his head at the two of you. He stands up and packs away the few bits left over from lunch while you and Kirishima gather your things. He slings his bag over his shoulder and turns to you and Kirishima. “We should get moving before it gets any later. We need to find a safe place to sleep for the night.”

The three of you quietly exit the house the same way you came in. You place your hand on the window sill as you wish the family inside peace. Bakugou touches your hand gently, and your eyes meet briefly. A silent conversation of grief and understanding passes between the two of you before you both turn to catch up with Kirishima. Kirishima leads at the front, you in the middle, while Bakugou trails a bit behind you, keeping you protected. It’s a formation that comes naturally now.

Once you’re out of the suburbs and walking down a long stretch of highway a couple of hours later, the sun has begun its journey towards sunset. You have about three hours of light left before you absolutely have to find shelter. With your earbuds back in, you take some time to look at your surroundings. Bakugou was right about the fields and farmland… it’s all you can see for miles. Looks like you might have to sleep in that tent tonight with the creepy crawlies. A hero who is scared of snakes and bugs? It could only be you.

Lucky for you, after a couple of hours of walking, you see what looks like an abandoned barn. You excitedly point it out to Bakugou and Kirishima who both share a smirk at the fact you were just happy to not be sleeping in a tent tonight. 

The three of you make your way over to the wooden and barbed wire fence that seems to span most of the property. The boys help you over first then carefully climb over the fence themselves. As you walk towards the barn, the sky begins to darken. You look up to see dark clouds. Rain is coming. Looks like you were lucky in more ways than one.

Once you get to the barn, you pull out your earbuds. You hadn’t seen anything dangerous for the last few hours and it would be alot easier to check things out if you all could communicate by voice. The barn doors are wide open, and it seems safe enough. The three of you decide to split up to give the place a once over. You start by circling the outside of the barn while Bakugou and Kirishima head inside. The barn looks to be in okay shape and is surrounded by flat grassy land. You should be able to see if anyone or anything approaches. All is quiet besides the soft rolling thunder signaling an oncoming storm.

“Clear!” You hear Kirishima call from inside. You jog around the barn once more for good measure then join Kirishima and Bakugou inside. The inside is also in pretty decent shape. It’ll keep the rain out for the night for sure. Hay lines the walls, an old rusty tractor is parked in the middle and there’s a single ladder to the right side that leads up to an empty loft. It doesn’t look like any animals used the space. The barn was probably used for storage before things went downhill.

Kirishima sets his bag down and begins to go through the barn more thoroughly for supplies. You and Bakugou each pull a heavy, large barn door closed. Once you meet in the middle, Bakugou pulls down a wooden slat that locks the door in place. “Nothing is getting in here tonight.” You pat the door appreciatively and give him a smile. He returns your smile with a small one his own and gently bumps his shoulder against yours as you walk further inside the barn.

You drop your bag next to Kirishima’s and look up at the loft. Feeling curious, you climb the ladder up to it, taking each step carefully. Once at the top, you walk across the small walkway to the open loft area. It’s pretty spacious with tall ceilings. Spacious enough for the three of you to sleep up here, you think. 

Towards the middle where the roof peaks, you see a small window covered by wooden shutters. You walk over to it and open the shutters. You can see how much darker the sky has gotten already, the sun already setting. Soon enough, you’d be plunged into stormy darkness. You decide to close the shutters for now. You can open it later if you want to keep watch.

As you are making a mental note of the window, you hear the floor creak loudly behind you. You turn around, your clenched fists already in the air. Bakugou, holding your bag his, and Kirishima’s, stops in his tracks. “Whoa, whoa! It’s me, babygirl.”

You drop your hands, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry… Kinda on edge.” 

“It’s okay. It’s good to be on alert. That idiot and I already checked everything though. We’re safe here for the night.” He approaches you more slowly than before and sets all of the bags in the corner of the loft. “Wanna help me get the sleeping bags out?” You nod and grab your bag to pull out your sleeping bag. 

Your hands brush against Bakugou’s as you both crouch in front of the three bags, making goosebumps rise on your arms. He has always had this effect on you, but lately the tension between the two of you has been getting worse. It’s not like the apocalypse was the best time for this either.

Your mind drifts back to the family in the small suburban house. You really did hope they found some peace. A lot of people have taken similar routes since Necromancer began wreaking havoc and the Hero Commission fell. Which begs the question… What would you have done if you didn’t have best friends like Kirishima and Bakugou? Would you have been able to find safety? Would you have succumbed to the deadly quirk and become a member of the undead army? Or would you have taken your future in your own hands…?

Bakugou watches you out of the corner of his eye as you seem to mindlessly lay out your sleeping bag. It’s obvious you’re so far into your own head that you’re on autopilot.  “You okay?” He asks quietly, laying his sleeping bag beside yours.

“Hmm?...” You shake the depressing thoughts and what-if’s from your mind before actually registering what he asked. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” You give him a weak smile, but he doesn’t return your smile this time. 

He frowns as he looks deeper into your eyes, making you squirm beneath his hot gaze. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.” You lie. You avoid his stare by going back to the bags to grab Kirishima’s sleeping bag. 

As you go to lay it down next to yours, Bakugou reaches out and grabs your wrist. It's not hard, but it’s firm. His face is so close to yours now that you can feel his breath tickle your neck. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N.”

The fact that he chose to call you by your name and not “babygirl” is enough to let you know that you are about to be in trouble if you don’t ‘fess up. You look at his hand and then meet his eyes. He lets go of you, but he doesn’t move away, waiting for you to answer.

“Would anyone actually be okay right now? Considering that the literal apocalypse is happening in front of us.” You say, trying unsuccessfully to brush him off.

He clicks his tongue against his teeth. “I don’t give a fuck about anyone else. I care about you. And Shitty Hair. But that’s about it.”

You sigh and close your eyes. Memories from earlier that day pass in front of your eyes. The small house. The children’s bedrooms. The tiny pajamas. The dog collar. “The house… The family…”

He nodded slowly. “I figured that’s what it was. Why are you still thinking about that?”

“What if…” You trail off, having a hard time articulating your thoughts. His eyes continue to scrutinize you. It’s almost as if he’s the one with the damn mind reading quirk. “What if you hadn’t come to get me that day? What would have happened to me?”

He scoffs as if it’s completely ridiculous that you even had that thought. “I would have never left you.”

“But what if–”

He cuts you off. “Stop it. You’re here with us and that will never change. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He sounds sincere, and you know he really means it.

You couldn’t stop the tears that began to spill down your cheeks. You had held it in all day and now it’s like letting the floodgates open. Once you start, you can't stop. You try to stifle a sob with your hand, but Bakugou pulls you into him and holds you tightly, letting you sob openly into his arms. You grip the back of his shirt as everything you had been holding in finally comes out.

After a few minutes, your sobs turn into little hiccups. Bakugou is still holding you just as tightly as before but lets his arms loosen as you sit up a bit to look up at him. As you pull away from his chest, his shirt sticks a bit to your face, and you grimace. “Aw, fuck. I got snot on your shirt.” You try to use your thumb to brush it away but you just smear it into the fabric. Ugh. So attractive.

You feel, more than hear, him chuckle. His chest rumbles under your hands. His lopsided smirk tells you he finds this whole thing ridiculous, but amusing nonetheless. “You can buy me a new one.” He says sarcastically.

You roll your eyes and laugh. “Ah, yes, of course. We’ll just go to the mall tomorrow and get you one.” You shoot back.

“It’s a date.” He says softly, brushing your hair from your wet cheeks. You can’t help but blush at his words. He had said it so uncharacteristically sweet that your heart feels like it skipped a beat. He gently wipes away the tears left on your cheeks and presses his forehead against yours. “We’re going to be okay. I promise.” He says just low enough for you to hear. You can feel your body start to relax. You hadn’t even noticed how tightly coiled your muscles had been until his words soothed you.

“Pinky promise?” You ask a bit childishly, poking your bottom lip out.

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at you. “Seriously?”

“Pinky promises are the most serious of promises.” You hold out your pinky expectantly. He looks between you and your pinky before blowing out an annoyed exhale. He untangles one arm from you to circle your pinky with his. You giggle, and he drops his hand immediately with a scowl.

“There. Pinky promise.” He gritts out, putting his arm back around you. “You’re lucky I think you’re cute. I wouldn’t be caught dead making a pinky promise unless it was for you.”

“Oooh, what are we pinky promising?” You hear Kirishima ask. He’s making his way across the walkway, his reusable water bottle in hand. You and Bakugou answer at the same time.

“None of your business–”

“That we’re gonna be okay–”

Kirishima smiles and shakes his head at the two of you. “Here, sweetheart. Drink this. Crying always makes me dehydrated.” You are not sure if he heard you crying from down below or if he could tell just by looking at you that you had been crying just a few moments before. 

He hands you the water bottle and you take a slow sip. Surprisingly, the bottle is full of cold water. Before you can ask, he says, “There’s actually clean well water plumbed in here. I think we should stock up as much as we can before we leave tomorrow.”

“That’s good. I noticed we were getting low on fresh water. We’ve got the few bottles from the store, but it's not enough.” How lucky are we? Fresh water? A safe place to sleep? All in the middle of an empty field. It was almost too good to be true.

The booming sound of thunder cuts off anymore conversation as sheets of rain begin pelting down on the old, tin roof. The temperature inside the loft takes a nosedive as the rain cools down the barn and its surroundings. You shiver and both Kirishima and Bakugou take notice.  

What was I just saying about too good to be true? Fucking rain.

Kirishima pulls out the tiny portable indoor heater that Bakugou brought with him from the cabin and sets it up near the sleeping bags. You find yourself burrowing deeper into Bakugou’s chest, seeking his warmth. Then you get an idea.

“Hey…” You say a little hesitantly, looking up at Bakugou.

“Hey?” Bakugou quirks an eyebrow at you suspiciously.

“If we want to keep warm, we should try moving around.” You try to keep the smile out of your voice, but you are failing miserably. His expression is making it even harder to not laugh at what you are about to suggest.

He blinks a couple of times before looking around at the loft, trying to gauge how safe it would be for whatever movement you are thinking of. “Moving around? Like what?”

“Like dancing!” You reply.

You pull out your phone and find the song you want. After gently pulling yourself from Bakugou’s warm embrace, you stand up and offer him your hand. He looks at you then your hand questioningly, but takes it anyway as he stands up effortlessly. You hit play on your phone, and a familiar melody begins to play. You take Bakugou’s hand. His other hand naturally falls to your waist as you begin to move to the rhythm of the music. Kirishima watches with amusement, leaning against one of the beams in the loft to wait for his turn. 

“Hmm. I think Kirishima might be the better dancer.” You look over at Kirishima and give him a playful wink. He grins back at you, knowing that you’re just trying to rile Bakugou up. 

You can already see the vein practically popping from Bakugou’s forehead as he responds. “Oh, yeah? You think so? I’m way better at dancing than both of you.” As if to prove his point, he pulls you closer against him and properly moves his feet with yours instead of just swaying. You giggle as Bakugou spins you around and dips you. His face is so close to yours in this position, making your heart beat faster in anticipation. 

After just a moment of him staring into your eyes as if to say “I win,” he pulls you back up and twirls you again into Kirishima’s waiting arms. Kirishima catches you easily and continues dancing with you until the song comes to a slow end.

A few hours later you awake to sounds of rain still pattering against the tin roof. You blink a few times as your eyes adjust to the darkness. It must be pretty early in the morning, you think. You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes. Beside you, Kirishima sleeps peacefully, snoring softly. You smile and tuck a few strands of his red hair behind his ear. 

You look to your other side, but Bakugou’s sleeping bag is empty. Your anxiety spikes briefly, and you begin to turn this way and that to look for him. You almost jump out of your skin when you feel someone pull on the hem of your shirt. You look up to see the tired blonde crouched down beside you, those carmine eyes studying you. You hadn’t even heard him move. “You good, babygirl?”

You nod, breathing a sigh of relief. “I just didn’t see you.” He smirks at your worried face and ruffles your hair. You swat his hand away with a glare. 

“You know I’d never go far. I was just keeping a lookout.” He gestures to the small window with its shutters open. 

“Did you sleep at all?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

He looks away from you like he usually does when he wants to tell a half-truth. “A little bit.”

“Hmph.” You cross your arms.

He looks back over at you and narrows his eyes when he sees your crossed arms. “Don’t even start, brat.”

“You have to get some sleep at some point.” You argue.

“I sleep plenty.” Bakugou argues. He walks away from you and plops back down beside the window where he must have been sitting before you woke up.

“Yeah, tell that to the bags under your eyes.” You mutter.

His head snaps towards you, and you almost regret saying something. Almost.

“Huh? Shut the hell up. I don’t have bags under my eyes.” His voice raises slightly before he takes it back down. He’s always had trouble with how naturally loud his voice is; being in a zombie apocalypse has made him become way more conscious of the loudness of his voice. …But sometimes he slips up when he gets pissy, like right now.

You smirk, knowing that you are purposely trying to get a reaction from him. “Yes, you do. I don’t even have to be close to see them either.”

“Oh?” Oh. You knew that voice too well. You fucked up. Not only did you tease him last night, but now you were trying to get another rise out of the explosion hero. You gulp. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to tease him right now.

He crooks his finger at you, his eyes unreadable. You slowly pull yourself from your warm sleeping bag and crawl across his sleeping bag to the window. He points down to the floor. You know what he wants. You kneel on both knees in front of him and wait. 

He firmly grabs your chin and pulls your face towards his. It is forceful, but not hurtful at all. His voice is low and dangerous when he speaks again. “Are you going to keep being a brat or are you going to be a good girl?” 

You love when he drops his voice low like that. You clench your thighs together as you try to come up with a satisfactory answer. His eyes flick from your face down to your thighs, and he smirks knowingly.

“Is that what you want? Is that why you’ve been trying to piss me off lately?”

“I was just teasing you…” You can feel heat rising to your cheeks.

He leans down, his lips against your ear as he whispers. “There’s better ways to ask me to fuck you than playing this game.”

“But… we can’t right now.” You whisper back, trying not to squirm. “I really need a proper shower.”

He looks into your eyes again. “You know I don’t care about that. So what? You’re planning on being a brat until we can?” He counters. You’re silent, unable to come up with a real answer for him.

“Fine. When I get the chance, you’re mine. Don’t forget.” He lets you go, and you almost melt into a puddle at his promise. 

You crawl back to your sleeping bag, fully aware that his eyes are admiring your ass. You grab your pants that you had pushed down to the bottom of the sleeping bag and pull them on. You swear you hear a sigh of disappointment, but when you look over at Bakugou, his eyes are scanning the woods outside the window again, but you can tell that his thoughts are far away from the little barn.

|◁ II ▷|

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

Day 5 - 7:30 AM

Music - Track 6 - I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

You woke up in an empty bed. For just a second, you forgot where you were, but then you heard Bakugou in the kitchen. Underneath the sounds of cooking was the sound of music and soft singing. Was Bakugou seriously singing? Loud enough that he could be easily heard in this cabin? Yeah right…

You crawled out of the large bed and crept to the bedroom door. You slowly opened it and, sure enough, his rough voice was carrying a soft melody. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You had to get closer and see this with your own eyes so you tiptoed through the living room slowly making your way to the kitchen. The closer you got, the more clear you could hear his voice.

If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot. You call the shots, babe. I just wanna be yours. ” He continued to sing. You peeked around the corner, and there he was in front of the stove, his lips moving along with the words as he finished making what smelled like an egg omelet. He plated up the omelet and turned to put it on the bar. 

That’s when his eyes met yours. Your heart almost stopped. You suddenly felt like you had been intruding upon a very private moment. It was a side of Bakugou you rarely got to see, but this wasn’t the first time that the angry blonde had let his mask slip since you got to this cabin in the middle of nowhere. However, this might have been the first time you had gotten caught observing his softness unbeknownst to him.

If he was shocked or surprised by you, he didn’t show it. Instead he eyed your thick bare thighs and shapely legs that peeked out from beneath your oversized t-shirt. You felt like running away being under his heated gaze like that. He shook his head at you and turned back towards the stove. “Oi, get in here and eat dumbass.”

You bit your bottom lip in embarrassment at being caught and walked into the kitchen. You pulled out a stool at the bar and sat down, swinging your feet back and forth as you picked up a fork to dig in. You chanced a glance up and found that he was watching you with those deep carmine eyes of his. You felt your face grow warm so you decided to force the attention back on him. “Didn’t know you could sing, Dynamight.”

“Tch. You should know by now that I can do anything. And do it well.” He gave you a smirk, and you knew he wasn’t talking about singing anymore.

You took a bite of the omelet and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You’re the best or whatever. Where’s Red?”

As if on cue, Kirishima opened the back door of the cabin into the kitchen. He was panting lightly, beads of sweat running down his forehead. He’d obviously been outside training. “G’morning!” He chirped. His eyes fell on your breakfast, and he looked up at Bakugou. “Oooh, did you make me one, too?”

“I always do, Shitty Hair. Go clean up, and it’ll be ready when you get out.”

“You’re the best!” Kirishima practically skipped to the bathroom to shower. It was extremely difficult to ever be in a bad mood around Kirishima. Even while the world was falling apart. You couldn’t help but giggle at him.

You continued to eat quietly, stealing glances at Bakugou’s strong back as he cooked another omelet. You weren’t expecting any more conversation from him, especially if he was actually angry at you for spying on him earlier. Sometimes he was so hard to read, the opposite of Kirishima who wore his emotions on his sleeve.

You finished breakfast and got up to wash your dishes. Bakugou stopped you as you got to the sink and held his hands out expectantly. You blinked at him. “Um, no.”

He gritted his teeth and ground out, “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“You cooked; I’ll clean.” You pushed past him, and he let you. He definitely could have stopped you if he really wanted to. Instead he let out an annoyed huff and turned back to finish cooking breakfast for Kirishima. “Are you eating?”

“Already ate.” He replied, his attention on the hot pan in front of him.

“When?” You looked over at him as you began drying off the dishes and putting them in their respective cabinets.

“6AM. While you two dumbasses were still snoring in bed.” He said as he flipped the steamy omelete onto a clean plate.

“Hey! I don’t snore.” You rounded on him, folding your arms in defiance.

He put the plate on the bar in front of the other stool and turned to you as well. “Who lied to you, babygirl? You definitely snore.” He said without any malice.

Butterflies stirred in your tummy at his use of the world ‘babygirl,’ but it was outweighed by embarrassment for the second time that morning. “There’s no way.” You shook your head defiantly.

“And how would you know? You’re asleep.” He argued back, his voice slowly rising.

Kirishima walked into the kitchen totally oblivious to the current conversation, a towel around his neck from the shower. “Mmm, that smells so good.”

You turned to Kirishima, ready to settle this stupid argument with Bakugou. “Kirishima, do I snore?”

Kirishima looked a little surprised as he sat down at the bar in front of his plate, not completely understanding the question. “What?”

“Do I snore?” You pressed. Bakugou crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the counter, a smirk already spreading across his face because he knew the answer.

“Yeah, but it’s cute.” Kirishima answered shamelessly, picking up his fork and shoveling the omelet into his mouth. You didn’t bother looking at Bakugou who undoubtedly was sporting a winning smirk. You stomped out of the kitchen, your face glowing red. Kirishima almost choked on his egg as he watched you flee from the kitchen. “What? What did I say?”

Bakugou snickered and his eyes landed on your round ass as you disappeared around the corner back to the living room. “The truth.”

Some time later, after you had gotten over the thought of you snoring in a bed with two very attractive men, you threw on some leggings and a t-shirt. Bakugou wanted to pull you outside for some training. Training seemed more important than ever. If it wasn’t going to be used for hero work, it’d be needed for survival, especially now that you knew how the undead affected you and your quirk.

Bakugou wanted the two of you to spar without using your quirks. His quirk was obviously loud and could probably set the entire forest on fire. Yours was going to be inhibited by the fact that you’d have to use your earbuds. It’s not like the undead would be planning out their next moves in their heads anyway.

Beside the cabin was a small clearing that would be easy enough to use for sparring and training. The grass was soft, but taking a fall would definitely still hurt. It wasn’t as nice as the gym back at the agency but at least you were out in the fresh air. 

Bakugou met you in the center of the clearing. He crouched into a fighting stance that you easily matched. “Alright, I want you to pin me.” He instructed you.

You scoffed. “You make it sound so easy.” It was anything but easy. You had not been able to pin him yet no matter what you tried. Maybe today would be the day you could make it happen. That would put him in his place for poking fun at you for snoring in your sleep.

“I never said it would be easy. Besides, no one is going to go easy on you. If you can pin me, you can pin anyone.” He said confidently.

“Ah, of course, because you’re the best at everything.” You scoffed.

“Glad you agree.” He gave you a wink. Cocky bastard. “Now let’s go.”

You dropped your center of gravity a bit, using your shorter stature to your advantage. With both of your arms up to guard your head, you were ready for whatever he was going to throw at you. Bakugou wasted no time in striking you, but you dodged gracefully. You slowly circled him as you dodged his punches, trying to use a minimal amount of energy.

Because of the size difference between you and Bakugou, the two years of training with him and Kirishima had taught you that you had to conserve as much of your energy as possible and let your opponent tire themselves out. Unfortunately, both Pro Heroes didn’t tire out as easily as a common villain so you had to build up your stamina substantially.

As you continued to dance around Bakugou, you subtly made your way closer and closer. The closer you were, the less likely you’d get hit without being able to counter due to his long reach. Bakugou already knew what you were doing though and tried to grab you instead of throwing another punch. Acting quickly, you dropped your center of gravity even more, leaving him without a way to grab your waist and end the sparring match quickly. 

He quickly recovered and attempted to grab your shoulders instead. As his hands grabbed your upper arms while you were still guarding your head, you brought your hands just outside of his grip. Balling your hands into fists, you brought them down hard on his forearms, loosening his grip enough for you to back away from him. You stepped back into a defensive stance.

He smiled that crooked smirk of his. “Good girl.” He almost sounded proud of you.

You gritted your teeth. Those butterflies were dancing around in your stomach again. “Shut up.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why? Distracting?” As Bakugou moved, so did you. The two of you were slowly dancing in the grassy circle as if in a boxing ring. 

You huffed. “A bit.” That’s exactly what he was doing: trying to distract you. You needed to stay on your toes.

“Is it just that I’m me or…” He paused, smirking at you knowingly. “Is it me calling you a ‘good girl’?”

“What?” You feigned confusion. Was this really the best time to be fucking with someone? Or flirting? Whatever this was. Distractions during a fight were inevitable but you highly doubted a villain would be trying to fluster you like this.

Bakugou suddenly lunged at you. You reacted more out of muscle memory than actual anticipation. You dodged to the side, his fist grazing your shoulder enough to knock you back a bit. You quickly steadied yourself.

He nodded in approval, but didn’t let up on the teasing banter. “I saw the way you reacted this morning when I called you ‘babygirl’.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You replied, your voice a bit higher than normal. You never were any good at lying.

“No?” He asked, his words sounding almost dangerous. It was like he was daring you to lie again. You were about to be in so much trouble, but you didn’t want to feed his ego by admitting how much it affected you.

You shook your head instead of answering, not trusting your voice anymore.

“Guess I need to remind you then.” Without any warning, Bakugou grabbed you by the shoulders and stepped in so close to you that you could smell his signature spicy caramel scent that came from his quirk. You tried to keep yourself steady, but he stepped on your left foot, making you grimace. You looked down at your feet. Big mistake.

With you distracted, he was able to sweep your foot out from under you. You fell to the ground, but he kept a hold on your arm so you didn’t get the breath knocked out of you. With you down on the ground, Bakugou began to straddle you but you looped your legs around his waist just in time before he would successfully pin you.

You had to think fast, because it would take him seconds to win if you didn’t play this right. You grabbed his arm that was still holding you and pulled it against your chest tightly with one hand. With the other hand, you slipped it in between your right leg and his left leg to successfully spin yourself so that you rolled over on top of him. His legs were now beneath you, meaning he was in no position to perform the same kind of reversal that you just did.

“You’re getting better.” He smirked up at you, but there was a glint in his eye that made you think it wasn’t over just yet.

“I know.” You grinned, feeling amazing that you were able to accomplish pinning him down so quickly. You just need to finish the task. But your smile didn’t last long.

“But you’re not better than me.” Even though Bakugou’s legs were under your hips, making any kind of movement difficult, he was easily able to lift your weight by bridging his hips and rolling you back over so you were once again beneath him. This time he pinned both of your wrists above your head with one hand. “Looks like I won again,” he said confidently.

You squirmed beneath him, trying to get a foothold, but he was right; he had successfully pinned you. “Ugh… I’ll win next time. You just wait.”

“Sure. Next time.” Oh, how you wanted to slap that cocky smirk off of his face. He knew he was good, but you were going to beat him one day. And you couldn’t wait to hang that victory over his head for the rest of your lives.

As you were coming down from the high of sparring, you noticed that he still hadn’t let you go. Usually by now he would have helped you up and moved on to the next thing, but… here you were: still softly panting beneath him with your wrists pinned above your head in his large calloused hand, his face unnecessarily close to yours. 

And his eyes… What is that look for? If you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought he was about to kiss you.

Right as you were about to break the silence with a poorly timed joke, Bakugou closed his eyes, brows furrowed. If you hadn’t been so close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard what he had muttered under his breath. “Fuck. I can’t do this. That idiot likes you.”

“Do what?” You asked softly. You didn’t expect the intensity of Bakugou’s carmine eyes when he finally looked at you. There seemed to be some kind of battle happening in his mind as his eyes flicked from yours to your lips.

“I can’t.” He whispered, but his eyes still held uncertainty. 

“What can’t you do?...” But you had a feeling you already knew the answer, and you didn’t have to read his mind to figure it out. Before you could say anything more, he pressed his lips against yours. His hand left your wrists to tilt your face up to his while the other continued to support himself above you. Your body responded without thinking, your hands going to his hair. He hummed against your mouth and deepened the kiss.

If you were to guess what your first kiss with Bakugou Katsuki would be like, it wouldn’t have been anything like this. You thought a kiss from Bakugou would be rough and forceful. Nothing like the soft and loving touches he was giving you right now. 

He finally pulled away, both of you gasping for air. He tried to calm himself down by taking a couple of deep breaths, but you could feel how fast his heart was beating against yours. You couldn’t remember a time when you had ever seen him less than confident. This was a completely new side of Bakugou that you had never seen before. 

“Listen…” He closed his eyes,taking another breath. When he opened them again, he had a look of determination. “I-I really like you. No, that’s not what I want to say. I’m… I’ve been in love with you for a while. I just never said anything.”

You could feel the heat rising to your face. That was not one but two confessions in a matter of days. You weren’t even sure what to say but you had to say something. “I–”

“No.” Bakugou cut you off harshly. “I don’t want to hear it. Kirishima has feelings for you, too. He thinks I don’t know, but the idiot is so fucking obvious about it. I’m not about to ruin our friendship because we both love the same person.”

He meant every word of it. You could tell he had made up his mind long ago that he would put his feelings aside, and let his two best friends be together if that’s what they wanted. You were even more torn now. Your biggest fear was destroying the friendship the three of you had by dating Kirishima. And now that you knew Bakugou was also in love with you, you couldn’t return either of their feelings without hurting the other.

The tense silence was broken when you heard the screen door to the cabin squeak open. Kirishima poked his head out, completely oblivious to the situation. He had the biggest grin on his face as he called out to you and Bakugou. “Hey guys! I think I figured it out!”

Bakugou gave you a look. You weren’t sure if he was telling you to keep the kiss and confession to yourself or if he was feeling guilty over it. Maybe it was both. He stood up and offered you a hand. You graciously accepted it, and he pulled you to your feet.

“What did you figure out, Shitty Hair?” He asked as you both dusted the dirt and grass from your clothes.

“How we can communicate while Y/N is wearing her headphones! Come inside and I’ll explain!” He disappeared as quickly as he came back behind the screen door. Bakugou began walking back to the cabin, only sparing a glance back once to make sure you were following. You put your hand over your heart, begging it to slow down before you had to go inside and pretend everything was fine.

Kirishima was in the living room waiting for you. His notebook, pens, and some loose pages decorated the coffee table. He had been hard at work on… something. You sat down on the couch and tried to read some of what he had written in his notebook, but his handwriting was atrocious. You squinted as you tried to decipher the ineligible scribbles.

Bakugou sat far away from you, and while it hurt that he did so, you knew it was for the best. The more space between you, the easier it would be to put aside the love he had for you and the growing love you had for him and Kirishima. It didn’t stop him from staring at you though which only made your blush from earlier return. You looked away, deciding it would be easier to read Kirishima’s writing than it would be to deal with the elephant two elephants in the room.

Kirishima excitedly clapped his hands together as he sat down with you. “Okay! Here’s what I got. First off, communication, yeah?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Sign language!” He exclaimed happily.


“We can use sign language to communicate when you are using your headphones!” He held up his notebook to show you some of his drawings with words underneath them. “It makes the most sense to me. Me and Bakugou both know it from our Hero courses. It’s good to know how to communicate with anyone who is in trouble so JSL was on the curriculum.”

“Ummm…” You scratched your head as you stared at the scribbled drawings which could give his messy handwriting a run for its money.

“Don’t worry; we’ll teach you.” He gave you an encouraging smile.

As usual, his smiles were contagious and you found yourself smiling back. “Thank you. That sounds like a good idea to me.”

“Anddddd! We can also use some simple hand signals like we do on raids and stings with other Pro Heroes!” He explained excitedly.

“Like military hand signals?” You asked.

“Yep!” He nodded.

“That makes sense… but what if we aren’t facing each other? Or we can’t see each others’ hands for whatever reason?” It was a fair question considering how quickly things can change in times like these.

“Already thought of that! We’ll hold hands!” He clarified.

“Hold hands…?” How are you supposed to use sign language or hand signals if you’re holding hands? It didn’t make much sense.

“Yeah! We’ll come up with a system like one squeeze for stop, two for go, or something like that.” He flipped a few pages through his notebook and showed you another page full of his scratchy handwriting. “I already started writing down my ideas, but I need everyone’s input. I can’t account for every scenario, but I think we can come up with enough signals to cover the basics.”

Bakugou eyed him suspiciously and crossed his arms as he finally spoke. “When did you get so smart?”

“What do you mean? I’ve always been smart!” Kirishima said matter-of-factly.

“Tch. I tutored you a lot in UA… It’s not like you had a great attention span.” Bakugou recalled.

“Doesn’t that mean your tutoring worked?” Kirishima countered with a grin.

That was hard for Bakugou to argue with. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Anyway, we can start today!” He said to you, but then he turned to Bakugou. “If you guys are done, I mean.”

“Yeah. We’re done.” Bakugou stood up and began walking towards the bathroom to shower off.

“But Bak–” You started.

“We’re done.” He cut you off and gave you a look that snapped your mouth closed. He continued on to the bathroom where he slammed the door closed. Kirishima continued on, planning out your first lesson. However, you were finding it hard to concentrate, your mind still on what Bakugou had said outside.

After sitting with Kirishima for several hours learning some basic JSL, it was getting close to dinner time which meant Bakugou was going to take over the kitchen and Kirishima was going to take an evening run. It would be the perfect time to corner Bakugou and hash out what happened earlier in the day.

You told Kirishima to be safe as he went out of the back door, ready for his run. He gave you a smile and wave before taking off into the trees, the setting sun still providing enough light for him to get in some exercise before the nightfall. You closed the door and turned to see Bakugou pulling out a pan and some ingredients to get ready for dinner.

“Want some help?” You asked, leaning against the island counter.

“No.” He replied without looking at you.

“Can I chop up any of the veggies for you?” You tried again.

“No.” He answered, still getting dinner prepped.

“How about the rice? I can get that going.” You pushed

“No.” He wasn’t budging and was still refusing to look at you.

You sighed loudly as he turned his back to you. “Are you going to treat me like this for the rest of our time together?” You asked bluntly.

He stopped moving, the pan still in his hand. He took a deep breath before setting it down and finally turning to look at you. His eyes looked so sad as he said, “I can’t do this with you.”

It was time to be honest. You weren’t sure what else to do at this point, but you couldn’t let this ruin your friendship, err relationship? Whatever. You took a deep breath and spilled the beans. “Kirishima told me he was in love with me a couple of days ago.”

For probably the first time in your life (and maybe even Bakugou’s), he looked speechless. His mouth hung open as he stared at you. With a shake of his head, his cold composure returned just as quickly as it had disappeared. “Good for you.” He snapped.

You huffed and stepped around the counter, still keeping space between the two of you. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I already told you that I wouldn’t ruin our friendship because we love the same person. You guys will be happy together. That’s that.” He grabbed the pan angrily and began slamming cabinets as he started dinner. He slapped a cutting board down and began chopping up vegetables roughly, the knife moving quickly as he seethed.

“I didn’t give him an answer.” You said softly, looking down at the floor. You had wanted to. God, you had wanted to confess right back, but this was not a good time. And you had conflicting feelings and so much guilt. You yourself weren’t in a good place to give Kirishima anything that he needed.

Bakugou paused, the knife hovering over the cutting board. “Why not?” He asked quietly.

“I… I do love Kirishima.” You began. Bakugou’s shoulders slumped down, and he set down the knife to grip the edge of the counter. You pushed forward anyway. You had to get this out. “He’s so sweet and kind. I admit that I fell in love with him pretty hard. But…”

“But what?” His voice came out pained, his eyes squeezed shut.

“But I love you too.” You looked up at him as you finished. You waited for him to respond, but Bakugou continued to grip the counter, his knuckles turning white. After a few tense moments, he let out a shaky breath before finally lifting his head to look over at you. You could practically see the fire dancing in his eyes, but it wasn’t the kind of fire you had expected.

“What am I supposed to do with that?” He growled out angrily. It’s not like you expected him to jump with joy or anything, but you certainly didn’t expect the hostility that was coming off of him in waves right now.

“I don’t know…” You couldn’t hold his heated glare anymore so you looked away.

Bakugou exhaled loudly, grabbed the knife again, and continued to chop the vegetables. He didn’t seem quite as angry as before. He seemed more… resigned? “Keep that shit to yourself. Just be with Kirishima. You’ll be happier that way.” 

“How do you know that I would be happier with him?” You asked genuinely.

Bakugou looked at you out of the corner of his eye as he finished with the vegetables and scraped them into a sizzling pan. He shook his head in disbelief. “Come on. Out of the two of us, who do you think is better boyfriend material? I can’t keep a relationship going for more than a week.”

You already knew the answer to why that was. You had a front row seat to some of the break-ups and relationship fallouts while working at the agency with him and Kirishima. At least the ones that lasted longer than a one night stand. Without thinking, you replied. “That’s because you push people away.”

He threw the chopping board into the sink and spun to face you.“I don’t push them away! It’s just… It’s just that… They’re not–” He stopped himself. He was breathing hard and fast, clenching and unclenching his fists. He closed his eyes and began to mentally count backwards from ten, trying to calm his breathing. He hadn’t meant to lose his temper like that, but goddamnit if you didn’t know exactly what buttons of his to press.

Once he was done, he opened his eyes to find you standing right in front of him, having closed the distance while he was distracted. “They’re not what, Bakugou?” You asked softly.

Bakugou took another breath, but he couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed you by your wide hips and pulled you into him. He buried his face into your shoulder as he held you close. “They’re not you… They could never be you.” He whispered.

You had asked for this, and yet you felt even worse than before. You had pushed and pushed and now you knew exactly how he felt. You knew how Kirishima felt. Here you were… fucking up a friendship that had been solid long before you came along. What was even worse was… you wanted them both. You wanted them both equally, and it was tearing you up inside.

After a moment, you pulled yourself from Bakugou’s embrace and wiped the tears that were beginning to well in your eyes. “I, uh, I’m gonna go shower.” You turned away from Bakugou, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes as you ran from the kitchen. You locked yourself in the bathroom and turned on the shower. You undressed and climbed in before you finally let go.

Kneeling in the shower, you let the emotions you had been bottling up since the day Kirishima confessed to you in the woods come pouring out. What the hell were you going to do? Nothing… There was nothing you could do that wouldn’t end up hurting someone or all three of you.

You had let the shower cover up the sound of your cries, and the water washed away your tears. You must have been in there for a while because someone knocked on the bathroom door. “Dinner’s ready.” You heard through the door. You shut off the water and snuck into the bedroom to throw on your pajamas.

You held the hem of your shirt down subconsciously as you sat down at the kitchen table. Everyone had pretty much gotten used to your night time attire at this point but you were feeling uncharastically shy at the moment. Kirishima was already sitting in the seat beside you, still a bit sweaty from his run. 

“Sorry I took so long.” You mumbled, feeling guilty, and not just for hogging the shower.

“No worries. I can shower after we get done eating.” He quickly dismissed your apology and gratefully grabbed the plate Bakugou held out to him. You looked at Bakugou as he set your plate down, but you couldn’t meet his eyes.

Dinner was quiet and awkward between you and Bakugou. Kirishima didn’t seem to notice at all, which you were thankful for. After washing your dishes, you went straight to the bedroom and crawled into bed. Kirishima joined you soon after having his shower, and then Bakugou joined the two of you. You noticed he couldn’t stop clenching his jaw anytime his gaze fell on you and another wave of guilt crashed into you.

As Bakugou turned the lights out and everyone settled in, you breathed out slowly and tried to calm your mind. You laid on your back and pulled the covers up to your nose for comfort. As you willed yourself to sleep unsuccessfully, a hand found your left one under the blanket, and gave it a soft squeeze. Then a hand on your right side found your other hand, rubbing gently circles into your palm under the covers.

Fuck. I am so fucked.

․° ☣ °․

If we can’t find heaven, I’ll walk through Hell with you.

․° ☣ °․