Work Header

Dear God, I just saw Obama cheating on Putin!

Chapter Text

I tried to clear my mind, as I lay out under the bright sun upon my beach towel, but I couldn't get that searing image out of my head!

"How could he do that to her?? I thought he loved her!", I moaned.

"Jesus, you know not to try to understand how man loves. Men are fickle and lust after the next pretty thing. Who did you see this time?"

"God...I am scarred. I was minding my own business, taking a walk in the ocean. You know, Jesus-y things, parting the waters, taking a stroll. And then I saw them. Putin was riding this huge sperm whale, with Obama hugging him from behind!! AND THEN THEY STARTED MAKING OUT"