My music was loud in my ears and my footsteps were quiet as I made my way back to the dorm. My fingers clenched and unclenched around the straps of my backpack as I thought on the test crumpled at the bottom of it, little red lines on every other question and a big ugly letter at the top. It was a letter I hadn’t seen before, at least not at Silas, and my thoughts twisted and twirled around all the time I spent hunched over my textbooks and my computer.
And I couldn’t think on my hours of studying without thinking of my goddam roommate. Waltzing around the room in far too little clothing while I’m trying to study, phone conversations she seems to always turn filthy as I purposefully ignore her, her eyes trailing up and down my body like she wants to...
But she wasn’t the point. Of course she’d be there when I got back, she always was during the day, but I’d ignore her. I always did. Even if she was in that shirt she had on the other night, or those socks that just don’t stop, or those leather pants. God, those leather pants. I shook my head and opened the door.
She wasn’t in the leather pants. In fact, she didn’t even have underwear. She was sprawled on the edge of her bed, her face flushed like I’d never seen it before. One hand had slipped up under her tank top and I could see her fingertips past the neckline digging into her boob, while the other hand was...oh god.
A splash of color peaked from between her fingers and her hand vibrated ever so slightly as she held it between her wide open legs. She twisted her wrist and suddenly I could see more of the vibrator and more of my roommate than I had ever wanted to. Her heels were dug deep into the edge of her mattress and with every passing second the muscles in her long legs spasmed more and more violently.
I realized all of a sudden where my gaze had stopped and I jerked my eyes off her exposed skin and up to her face. I looked for the familiar smirk, the teasing she usually gave when she caught me looking, but there was no smirk this time. Her eyes were closed, head leaned back against the wall. Her skin was flushed from her cheeks down to her chest which rose and fell quickly. Her mouth hung open, no sound coming out of it but the quick breaths I could almost feel on my own skin.
She still hadn’t seen me. Her toned arm flexed ever so slightly and something had just gone very very right because she let out a gasp, loud and high and surprised, and at the sound I felt myself go weak. Her eyes flew open, though they stared at the ceiling and not at me, and her back arched away from the wall. A breathy sound escaped from her lips.
“Laur…” But the door slammed shut behind me, and I suddenly realized the sweatiness of my palm on the doorknob since her gasp. She seemed to crumple as she looked at me, her hands quickly pulling away from her body and meeting behind her back. The red on her cheeks was different now, and her lips twisted uncomfortably. Her eyes were dark and afraid as she met mine.
“I was...you were...I wasn’t watching,” I stammered. I felt paralyzed as I watched her face stumble through expressions, trying to pick one for me. Her breath still came in heavy pants as she plastered her signature grin below the eyes still so dark and full of want. I think she knew the effect that look had, because she grinned even wider as my knees threatened to collapse from under me.
“Laura,” she said, her voice still high with the surprise that had affected me so earlier. “That’s funny, I was just thinking about you.” Apparently her embarrassment at being caught was completely gone, because she stood up and took a step toward the door.
“Should...should I go?” I asked, thoroughly confused.
“Do you want to?” She ran her hand carelessly over her torso, brushing past the nipples still stiff under her tank. I turned toward the door, my hand slipping off the first time I tried to grab it. “Or you could stay. You interrupted the best part.”
I turned around slowly. She was closer to me now, a hand already making its way back up her tank top. I looked down at it, watched its outline under her shirt as it made its way up to where I suddenly wanted to be. I looked back at her face.
The fear and uncertainty were still there. Despite the lips that hung open with an inviting smile as she worked her own boob, her eyes were clear. She was scared of what I would say. Carmilla’s hand stilled as she watched my face carefully, and her smile slipped ever so slowly.
“I um...I’ve got to go,” I said. I threw myself into the hall and closed the door behind me before she could say anything. I took a second to breathe.
“Oh my god,” I muttered. There was a pounding all over my body and I could feel my blood rushing past my skin, turning me red.
“Oh my god,” I heard through the door, muffled, but distinctly there. I heard her footsteps as she walked back to her bed, then a pause, then a low vibration. The pounding feeling got worse. I had to find a bathroom, and fast.