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Seduction of the Innocent

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Happy Terrill (The Ray)

He wanted her so much, so badly. Surely they'd be a perfect match, him with his light powers, her with her dark light projector; he could light up her life and she could show him fun in the dark. Sadly, it was an unrequited lust and he couldn't tell her his feelings. It was even starting to keep him awake at night.

As he prowled Freedom Fighters' headquarters, looking for a midnight snack, he saw her door was wide open, and there she was, lying naked on the bed, her perfect body covered in sweat, her skin glistening, her legs outstretched.

"Do it to me! Do it to me now!" she said in a breathless voice, as he looked on, frozen in her headlights.

This couldn't really be happening, he had to be daydreaming.

"You know how to make me, Happy!" she yelled.

He didn't need any more prompting, and so, looking her straight between the thighs, he flew at her, lighting up the room like a firework display. Landing on her, he thrust his luminescent manhood into her moist-

He heard a small muffled cry of pain from within her, followed by her screaming as she writhed beneath him. That's when he realized she hadn't been calling for him after all.

One thing was for certain, it would be a long time before Doll Man would speak to him again.

"That's one weird screwed-up daydream," said Phantom Lady.

"But surely now you see what I mean? You're in all their daydreams!"

"So, I'm in their daydreams. Is that so surprising? They're men and they're around me all day, with me dressed like this. It's bound to be hard for them. Is it any wonder they fantasize, taking their minds off our endless struggle against the Nazis? It's all harmless, it's not as if they write their thoughts down and put it in one big dirty book." She looked down at Tedium's tome and raised an eyebrow.

"I have to look after the daydreams! That's my job!" yelled Tedium (who was also known as Tranquility, though people seeing him now would never have guessed). "I keep a book, Teller sees the future, Trauma says mad stuff-"

"How hurtful," Trauma interrupted. "The pigeons are exploding!" she added as an afterthought.

"Our sister Termination sees dead people," continued Tedium, "our sibling Torment annoys people, our brother Tragedy-"

"Blah blah blah," Phantom Lady said. "Why exactly did you summon me here? Just because my teammates lust after me?"

"But it's not just them," Tedium said, turning the pages of his book. "You're on every page!"

"Nonsense," Phantom Lady said, looking through the book. "Oh wait, I stand corrected."

"Does that mean she daydreams about making love to herself?" Trauma asked.

"Of course not," Tedium replied. "She's not in the book. Don't you remember? The original Phantom Lady died decades ago."

Trauma gasped.

"Is it really that surprising she got killed?" the woman calling herself Phantom Lady asked. "Her fetish for getting tied up all the time left her awfully vulnerable. Anyway, I thought I'd step into her shoes for a while," she looked at her pale siblings, "figured I could use some sun."

"Oh, I remember you now," said Trauma. "You're Temptation? Or was it Tease? Or Tantalize?"

"All of the above," said Phantom Lady. "Thought I was being fairly inconspicuous in my human guise, but now I guess I'll have to tone it down even more."

"Tone it down?" Tedium gasped. "These daydreams are just the tip of the iceberg. The world's obsessed with you. Do you know how many accidents happen while people are thinking of you? Do you realize, because of you, how much time people waste -"

"Writing fanfiction?" guessed Trauma.

Tedium ignored her, and continued, "Temptation, you just can't help yourself. Everyone finds you irresistible. There's only one answer."

"You don't mean?"

"Face it, sis. You've got to give up the day job."

The End