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THE OCHINCHIN IS FUCKING STUPID

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CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board cool kids club.

CTG: alright listen up
CTG: this is going to be a long three years on our respective shitrafts
CTG: so lets
CTG: waste
CTG: some
CTG: fucking
CTG: time
CTG: i am gonna stream something fucking incredible and youre all going to watch
CTG: and cool it on the time bullshit lets keep this linear for once ok

FUTURE terminallyCapricious [FTC] 37 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo.
FTC: THIS WAS A MOTHERFUCKING MISTAKE.
CTG: sweet someone for me to make an example of
CTG banned FTC from responding to memo.
CTG: past and future assholes get out
CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTT: Here I go again, blindly clicking every link that's sent to me.
CTT: What have I gotten myself into this time?

CTG: hey lalonde
CTG: wanna watch a cartoon about a little kid getting raped
CTT: Sure.
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGC: H3Y COOLK1D >:]
CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGA: Hello
CTG: sup ladies
CTT: Hi.
CGC: WH4T 4R3 W3 DO1NG?
CTG: im about to show you the fucking pinnacle of human animated cinema
CTG: i hope youre ready for this tz

CGC: 1 W4S H4TCH3D R34DY D4V3
CTG: you better be
CGC: OH
CGC: D1D YOU G1V3 TH3 L1NKS TO K4RK4T??

CTG: no
CTG: you do it if you want
CTG: hell just start screaming and shoveling shit out of his baby ass diaper if it comes from me

CGA: I Do Not Think That Will Be An Issue
CGA: Karkat Does Not Wear A Diaper

CTG: how would you know
CGA: I Admit I Dont Have First Hand Knowledge
CGA: But I Am Fairly Confident
CGA: I Guess

CTT: The diaper was metaphorical, Kanaya.
CGA: Oh
CGA: I See

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCG: I DON'T FUCKING WEAR A DIAPER.
CCG: FUCK YOU, STRIDER.

CTG: then whats that noxious stonk i smell every time i walk by
CTG: god damn i can smell it from across the meteor

CCG: YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE IT'S YOU?
CCG: MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE SLATHERED IN SUCH A THICK COAT OF FESTERING WASTE THAT YOU ARE UTTERLY UNABLE TO PERCEIVE THE OUTSIDE WORLD BEYOND YOUR OWN FECULENT COCOON OF SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT.

CTG: maybe
CGC: H3R3 W3 GO 4G41N
CTG: but when i turn into a big shit butterfly youll still be there in your big poopy nappy with nobody to change it
CTT: Shit moth.
CTG: what
CTT: Moths spin cocoons, not butterflies.
CTT: The pupa of a butterfly is called a chrysalis.

CTG: lalonde why you gotta go and ruin everything with your
CTG: books
CTG: and your
CTG: learning

CTT: What was the point of all those years spent trawling Wikipedia for useless trivia if not to employ it in ostentatious displays of pedantry?
CTG: im pretty sure the point of useless things is to not use them
CTT: I'll take your word for it.
CCG: THIS IS ALREADY FUCKING TERRIBLE.
CGC: SHUSH K4RK4T >:]
CGC: TH1S W1LL B3 LOTS OF FUN!

CCG: IF YOU SAY SO.
CCG: UGH. DID YOU INVITE GAMZEE?

CTG: no on account of
CTG: fucking crazy
CTG: wasnt particularly in the mood for more hilariously sexual allusions to my gruesome death and subsequent consumption
CTG: gotta take that shit in moderation you know how it is

CCG: HE'S NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
CCG: IT'LL BE FINE.

CTG: yeah ok whatever
CGA: Do We Have To Include Him
CCG: YES, WE HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM.
CCG: WE'RE GOING TO BE STUCK ON THIS METEOR TOGETHER FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
CCG: SO WE'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO GET ALONG.

CGA: Ugh
CTG: wow drama
CGC: >:?
CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTC: hello my motherfuckers. :o)
CCG: HEY GAMZEE.
CGA: Hello
CGC: >:? >:?
CTC: WHAT'S ALL UP AND GOING DOWN WITH THIS THING?
CCG: WHAT'S GOING DOWN IS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BEHAVE YOURSELF AND GENERALLY NOT EMBARRASS ME BY BEING A PSYCHOTIC PIECE OF SHIT, OKAY?
CTC: honk. :o(
CTG: awkward
CGA: Just Tell Me When We Start
CTT: I'll pester you, Kanaya.
CTG: alright im getting the failboat crew in here
CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CEB: hey dave, rose, karkat!
CTG: hey egbert
CTT: Hello.
CCG: HEY.
CGC: 1 SM3LL BLU3B3RR13S >:]
CEB: and hi terezi! and everybody else i guess.
CTC: HONK. :oD
CEB: eheheh. so what are we doing?
CTG: remember that thing ive been trying to get you to watch since forever
CEB: oh god.
CEB: no, dave.

CTG: no its happening
CEB: dave no.
CTG: you cant get out of it this time
CEB: yes i can, dave.
CEB: i can just close this window right now.
CEB: just like every other time.

CTG: shut up egbert were watching this
CEB: no!
CTG: yes
CEB: no.
CTG: yes
CEB: no.
CTG: yes
CEB: ugh, fine.
CEB: but only so you'll finally stop asking me!

CTT: Now I'm almost excited to see this.
CTG: you would be
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGG: hi everybody!!
CTG: sup harley
CEB: hey!
CCG: UGH, TOO MANY HUMANS.
CGG: oh be quiet karkat :P hehehe
CGG: oh! did you send the stuff to davesprite??

CTG: shit i forgot about that guy
CGG: daaaave
CCG: OH, PLEASE NO.
CCG: ONE OF HIM IS TORMENT ENOUGH.

CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG2] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG2: hey
CGG: hiiii :D
CTG: sup me
CTG2: dont mind me just being a big shitty bird nobody remembers
CTG2: wow i even get a 2 next to my name
CTG2: identity crisis

CGC: 1 R3M3MB3R YOU M1ST3R OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S >:]
CTG2: thanks terezi
CTG2: im shedding a big fat tear over here

CGC: 1 W1SH 1 COULD T4ST3 YOUR T34RS TOO OTH3R D4V3
CGC: 1 B3T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3 D3L1C1OUS L1QU1D C4NDY TR34TS
CGC: H3H3H3

CTG2: well that isnt weird at all
CTG: nope
CCG: UUUGHHHH
CTG: uh oh better watch out
CTG: pricess sunshines getting his panties in a bunch again
CTG: see he has this thing where any time terezi talks to me he starts, i dunno, hallucinating that shes sucking me off

CGC: WH4T >8O
CTG: thats my working hypothesis anyway
CTG: i cant think of any other explanation for the degree of rectal ragnarok this guy is packing

CTG2: wow that must be a crippling disability for him to live with each day
CTG2: my sympathies dude

CTT: I wish I'd thought to alchemize popcorn.
CCG: WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN HERE?
CCG: CONSIDERING I HATE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I EXPECTED ANY EVENT YOU'VE ORCHESTRATED TO BE ANYTHING LESS THAN AN EXERCISE IN THE MOST EXCRUCIATING, TORMENTUOUS AGONY THE CORTICES OF MY THINKPAN ARE EVEN PHYSIOLOGICALLY CAPABLE OF PROCESSING.

CEB: wow, uh.
CCG: IT TAKES EVERY LAST FIBER OF SELF-RESTRAINT IN MY BEING TO RESIST JUST HOLDING YOU DOWN AND PUNCHING YOU IN THE BULGE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU HEMORRHAGE AND DIE.
CGC: K4RK4T >:\
CTG2: hahahaha look at this guy he thinks hes tough
CTG2: its adorable

CTG: hahaha i know right
CTG: hes like this scrappy little toy poodle except smaller and less intimidating

CGC: D4V3S >:/
CCG: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR SHITTY ORANGE FLAPPING DINGLEBERRY OF A CLONE.
CGG: HEY!!!
CTG: right back at you buddy
CGG: knock it off!!
CGG: you guys are acting like a couple of big babies, this is ridiculous

CTG: sorry mom
CCG: CAN WE JUST GET THIS GRUESOME TRAINWRECK OVER AND DONE WITH BEFORE I HAVE TO LOBOTOMIZE MYSELF?
FTC: IS ANYONE GONNA TELL A MOTHERFUCKER WHAT'S GOING ON?
CCG: NO, SHUT UP THE FUCK UP.
FTC: oh. :o(
CTG: look what you did man
CTG: you went and made the murderous clown sad

CCG: I SWEAR TO GOD
CGC: S1GH
CTT: While this is all extremely entertaining, perhaps it's best if we move on?
CEB: that's... probably a good idea.
CTG: ok whatever
CTG: i got everybody right

CGG: oh!!
CGG: we should invite all of the sprites
CGG: theyre people too you know!

CTG2: aww shucks harley
CGG: hehehe :D
CTG: sure why not
CTG: bring in the fuckin nakkadiles the more the merrier

CEB: uh, maybe not ALL the sprites!
CURRENT Nannasprite [CNS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CNS: Hoo hoo hoo!
CEB: oh my god.
CGG: hi nannasprite!!!
CGC: H1 >:]
CNS: Hello, kids!
CNS: What are we watching? :B

CTT: I don't think you'd be familiar with it.
CEB: i
CTG2: hahahaha
CEB: er.
CNS: Is something the matter?
CEB: um, nanna?
CEB: gosh, i don't want to be rude!
CEB: but i think i would maybe be a little uncomfortable watching... uh.
CEB: this kind of thing.
CEB: with my grandmother.

CNS: I understand, dear.
CNS: I wouldn't want to come between you and your friends!

CEB: thanks, nanna!
CEB: maybe we can watch something that isn't... this.
CEB: later.

CNS: That sounds wonderful!
CNS: I have plenty to baking to catch up on, anyhoo.
CNS: I understand I've been gone for thirteen years now; I'd best get to work if I want to make up for all that lost time!

CEB: oh boy...
CNS: Hoo hoo hoo, toodleoo! :B
CNS
ceased responding to memo.
CTG: hahahaha did that just happen
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
CTG2: im fucking dying
CTG2: oh man

CEB: yeah, i can see that. asshole.
CGC: YOUR N4NN4 1S D3L1C1OUS
CEB: ...
CEB: i'm not even going to reply to that?

CGG: ... why cant nannasprite watch?? :/
CGG: WHAT exactly are we watching?

CTG2: oh youll see harley
CTG: you will fucking see
CGG: ...
CGG: i
CGG: dont think i like the sound of that >_>

CGC: 1 DO >:]
CURRENT Jaspersprite [CJS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CJS: Oh hello meow. :3
CTT: Well.
CTT: I, for one, have no problem with watching this with my undead talking cat.
CTT: No need for further delays from my camp. Shall we get this show on the road?

CTG: yeah sure
CTG: is everybody here

CTG2: lets fuckin go
CTT: Let me tell Kanaya.
CEB: sigh.
CCG: UNFORTUNATELY.
CJS: Yes im a cat meow.
CTC: HONK.
CGC: 1M 3XC1T3D H3H3H3
CGG: yup... >_>
CGA: I Am Here Now
CTG: alright
CTG: lets do this


CEB: eegghhh.
CTG2: egbert its been playing two seconds


CCG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF THIS UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY SONG.
CTG: thats what the subtitles are for bro try reading
CEB: it's japanese, karkat.
CEB: it's one of our other human languages. we have a lot of those!


CCG: WHY ARE THE EYES SO BIG???
CTG: hes got a dire case of the animes
CCG: WHAT.
CTG2: dont question it


CTC: honk. ;o)
CCG: GAMZEE
CCG: JUST DON'T.

CTG2: wow let the man honk
CTG2: what are you some kind of honk fascist


CEB: that sure is a butt.
CTT: Are the feet supposed to be butts as well?
CTG: no im pretty sure theyre just supposed to be terribly drawn


CGG: umm...


CEB: oh god.
CTT: The plot thickens.
CEB: oh god.
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK?
CGG: omg dave is this porn???
CTG2: just keep watching
CGG: omg...
CGA: Hm
CGA: This Is Educational

CGC: D4V3 WH4T 1S TH1S C4RTOON
CGC: 1T SM3LLS 4WFULLY F1SHY

CTG: trust me fishy is the absolute last thing this thing is


CCG: WOW, HUMAN ANIMATORS MUST BE REALLY SKILLED.


CJS: Hm.
CJS: I think it may be because i am a cat but i dont quite know whats going on meow.

CTT: Jaspers, we're currently watching a pubescent boy exposing his swollen nipples as he removes his stockings.


CCG: WAIT, THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BOY?
CTG: dude did you miss the dick
CGA: Oh
CGA: I Had Simply Assumed That The Bulge Was A Feature Of Female Human Anatomy

CCG: HUMANS ARE FUCKING WEIRD.
CTT: This cartoon is quite stylized.
CTT: Typical human girls and boys are much closer to what you're familiar with, from what I've gathered.

CGA: I See


CGA: So Human Females Do Not Actually Have Bulges
CTT: Not usually, no.
CGA: Usually
CTT: Yes.
CGA: Rose Do You Have A Bulge
CTT: No, Kanaya, I do not have a bulge.


CCG: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK
CEB: aaaaauuuuugggggghhhhhhgfshgfsr i can't believe i'm watching this!
CTC: huh.
CGG: omfg
CGC: TH31R BULG3S T4ST3 FUZZY
CTG: hahahahahahaha
CGA: Oh My
CGG: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK???
CTG2: whats the matter harley
CTG2: its just a couple of guys jacking each other off no big deal

CGG: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwewewew
CGG ceased responding to memo.
CTG: hahaha oh man
CTG: im surprised she lasted that long honestly


CTT: It's a good thing that disclaimer is there, or else this might have been weird.


CEB: oh no.
CEB: no.
CEB: no no no no no

CTG: its barely started egbert keep your pants on
CCG: OKAY, SO REALLY, WHAT IS WITH THE PIXELS?
CTT: The Japanese have to censor their pornography by law.
CTT: Or had to, I suppose.

CCG: DOESN'T THAT SORT OF DEFEAT THE POINT.
CTT: Don't look at me.


CCG: WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?
CGA: I Am Confused
CGA: Is The Point Of Recreational Intercourse Not To Receive Pleasure
CGA: This Appears To Be Unpleasant

CTG: the point of sex is also to not fuck little boys but they screwed that one up too so who knows


CGC: TH3S3 SOUNDS 4R3 R34LLY GROSS
CGC: TH1S C4RTOON 1S 4 S3NSORY 4SS4ULT
CGC: 1 L1K3 1T >:]

CTG: never change tz


CCG: DON'T TELL ME HE'S GOING TO


CTG: yup
CCG: AUGHH



CCG: IF THEY'RE GOING TO PUT A NOTE AT THE TOP WHY DON'T THEY JUST FUCKING TRANSLATE IT?
CTG: listen
CTG: that word carries deep cultural connotations that would be lost across linguistic boundaries
CTG: the ochinchin is fucking important

CCG: THE OCHINCHIN IS FUCKING STUPID.


CTC: THIS IS MAKING ME A LITTLE MOTHERFUCKING.
CTC: uncomfortable.


CTG: buckle up kids
CTG: were in for a wild ride



CTC: WHERE DID THE PORN GO?
CGA: I Dont Think I Want To Know



CTG: i wonder
CTG: should i creep on some adult women or keep searching for a naked pubescent boy



CTG2: hahaha was that even a fucking question
CTT: You're spoiling it.
CTG: whoops sorry i wouldnt want to ruin the preeminently crafted plot of boku no pico for you
CTT: Thank you.



CCG: WHY IS HE JUST STANDING NAKED ON A RANDOM ROCK?
CEB: ugh.
CEB: this is so so creepy.






CTG: help
CTG: im getting lost in his animes



CTT: The mysterious case of the disappearing nymphet.
CTT: How will our intrepid protagonist overcome this harrowing obstacle and poon a young child?





CCG: HE JUST HAPPENS TO WALK INTO THE PLACE THE KID WORKS???
CGA: That Does Seem A Bit Unlikely But Perhaps It Will Be Explained Later
CTT: I wouldn't count on it.


CGC: 1 B3T
CGC: >:] >;] >:]


CEB: if he's a boy, why is he dressed like that?
CEB: don't tell me his grandfather...
CEB: euughh.

CGA: Perhaps He Simply Enjoys Feminine Fashions
CTC: i think his little bow is wicked cute. :o)


CCG: GAMZEE
CTC: WHAT'S UP MY MOTHERFUCKER?
CCG: JUST
CCG: ... NEVERMIND.

CTC: honk. :oD





CTG: grandpa knows that slice is too choice to keep to himself
CEB: jesus, dave.


CTG: ahahahaha he fucked up


CJS: Meow milk.
CJS: I havent had milk in a long time meow. :3

CEB: we can alchemize some milk for you if you want, jaspers.


CTT: Jaspers, who gave you milk?
CTT: That isn't good for cats.

CJS: Oh sometimes mom would forget it makes me sick and give me milk.
CJS: But thats okay because tastes really good meow. :3


CTT: John, please don't give my cat milk.
CEB: er, yeah, maybe that's for the best.
CEB: i wouldn't want him to start... pooping everywhere.
CEB: we get enough of that with davesprite!

CEB: ehehehehe.
CTG2: better watch out egbert
CTG2: who knows what might fall out of the sky


CEB: ewww, dave.
CTG2: hey you started it
CTG2: im just taking this shit joke to its logical conclusion


CTG2: and i mean that in both senses of the word
CEB: god, shut up.
CJS: Meow. :3c


CTT: What an artful contrivance!


CTG: sup kid dont mind the boner



CCG: WOW, WEIRD???


CEB: did he just, like, not notice this guy macking on his neck?
CGA: I Guess Not
CGA: That Is Rather Strange



CGC: MMM 1C3 CR34M >:]
CTT: I get the feeling he'll be getting more than ice cream.



CTC: OH.
CTC: uh.



CCG: CAN THIS KID DO ANYTHING RIGHT??



CTT: Of course not. How else could the narrative conspire to get him licking spunk-colored fluids off his fingers?




CEB: oh wow.
CEB: this is like...
CEB: wow, really legitimately creepy. :(


CTG: hahahaha what the fuck did you expect
CTG: its fucking shota

CEB: yeah, but, like


CEB: man. i just don't think this is that funny, dave.
CGA: This Is A Bit Of An Uncomfortable Subject
CTG2: look at these chumps
CTG2: what kind of loser cant laugh at a little child molestation


CTT: I can see a certain morbid comedy in it all.
CCG: THIS IS MORE HORRIFYING THAN FUNNY.
CCG: LIKE
CCG: IT'S SO TERRIBLE, BUT I CAN'T LOOK AWAY.

CGC: Y34H S4M3
CTG: see they get it


CGC: BUT TH3 T4ST3S OF TH1S C4RTOON 4R3 4LSO
CGC: HM
CGC: 1NT3R3ST1NG >:]

CTG2: hahahaha



CCG: MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE HE'S LIKE 5 FUCKING SWEEPS OLD, YOU ODIOUS GRUB DIDDLER???


CEB: uugghhhh....
CJS: Meow i dont know if ill be able to understand whats going on at all. 3:
CTT: Perhaps it's better if you don't.



CEB: okay, i'm sorry, i can't watch this.
CEB: this is too much.

CTG: oh come on



CEB: sorry, dave! not my thing.
CTG: what are you a chicken
CTG: you sound like a big chicken john
CTG: cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

CTG2: whoa man lay off the cheeps
CTG2: a little racial sensitivity here

CEB: dude, that isn't even remotely close to the sound a chicken makes.
CTG: whatever you say bro


CEB: aaaaaand i think this is my cue to get the hell out of dodge.
CEB: jaspers, do you wanna go find where jade went off to and play a game or something?


CJS: Oh sure john that sounds like fun meow. :3
CEB: alright, let's go.
CEB ceased responding to memo.
CJS ceased responding to memo.
CTG: a chicken AND a pussy
CTG: goddammit

CTT: Slow and unfunny.
CTT: Impressive.

CTG: oh shut up that was great
CCG: NO, IT REALLY WASN'T.



CTG2: oh shit its a penis





CGC: WHO4 >8O
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR JUNK?
CCG: GOD THAT'S TERRIFYING.

CGA: I Think Its Fascinating


CTG2: pedos havin second thoughts
CTT: I am deeply sympathetic.
CTT: This story just exudes such pathos.



CTC: I HEAR YOU LITTLE MAN.
CTC: shit, i feel a little funny myself.




CTG2: ok im gonna take off
CTG2: egberts bothering me and ive already seen this shit like a thousand times anyway

CTT: Is that so?
CTT: That's very interesting, Dave.



CTG: wow thanks a lot bro
CTG2: hahahaha
CTG2: i am so glad im not you dude
CTG2: i can just leave when she starts doing that shit


CTT: I am twirling my glorious Freudian mustachio as we speak.
CTG: yeah yeah
CTG: fuck off you fat feathery bastard

CTG2: flies off into the fucking sun
CGC: SM3LL YOU L4T3R M1ST3R OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S >;D
CTG2 ceased responding to memo.




CTC: UHHH.
CTC: ... honk.


CTT: Considering the kid didn't even seem to know what an erection meant a few minutes ago, this is a rather strange line of inquiry.
CTG: maybe hes just really confident in his ability to fuck kids and thinks hes got special dick stirring powers other pedos dont




CTC: I
CTC: uh.
CTC: I HAVE TO FUCKING GO.
CTC: bye.

CTC ceased responding to memo.
CTG: hahahaha oh man did he really just
CTG: oh man

CCG: ...


CCG: OH GOD
CCG: DO THEY EVEN HAVE A BUCKET?


CGC: 3W
CTG: wow tz
CTG: i thought you would be into tasting a little boys cum drenched pulsating anus


CCG: THEY'RE NOT GOING TO JUST


CCG: WHAT THE FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK


CTG: this shit is so anime
CTG: i cant handle it
CTG: every damn time hahaha


CCG: WHAT


CCG: THE


CCG: FUCKING


CCG: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


CCG: CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK



CTT: Wow.
CTT: That is...
CTT: A lot of cum.

CCG: OH MY GOD
CTG: dude what are you flipping out about
CTG: its just a 12 year old kid nutting out about three gallons of jizz all over himself

CGC: K4RK4T 1S JUST 4 L1TTL3 B4BY W1GGL3R WHOS N3V3R S33N BUCK3TL3SS PORN B3FOR3 >:P
CTG: oh right
CTG: the bucket thing



CCG: WHAT.
CCG: I AM NOT A WIGGLER.
CCG: TAKE THAT THE FUCK BACK.

CGC: YOU SO 4R3 4 W1GGL3R K4RK4T!
CGA: Even I Have Seen Porn Without A Bucket Before Karkat
CGA: It Is Not That Big A Deal


CCG: WOW ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS???
CCG: I'M SURROUNDED BY FUCKING DEVIANTS, OH MY FUCKING GOD.


CTT: I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but humans...
CTT: Don't even use buckets.
CTT: Like, at all.
CTT: Ever.

CCG: WHAT


CTG: its true dude
CTG: like we just all up and nut all over each other


CTG: gallons and gallons of jizz bursting forth from our intercrural beef sacs
CTG: freely deposited wherever we see fit

CGC: TH4T SOUNDS 3XC1T1NG >:]
CCG: OH MY GOD


CTG: dude thats only the beginning
CTG: after weve drenched each other in spunk
CTG: we gotta just
CTG: rub it into each others skin


CTG: thats how human babies get planted
CCG: THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
CTG: then once theyve incubated they violently burst forth out of our skin in droves
CTG: thousands of pink squealing human babies writhing atop the desiccated carcass of their mother



CTG: all of them keening out in grief to mourn the parent they will never know before they turn on each other in a cannibalistic frenzy
CGC: >:?
CCG: I
CCG: WHAT?


CTG: they maim and devour and tear each other apart until only child is left, fat and gorged on the bodies of its slain brothers and sisters
CTG: that is how humans are born


CGA: Was Any Of That Actually True
CTT: No.
CGA: Ok I Didnt Think So But I Wanted To Be Sure





CTT: Ah, crossdressing.
CTT: A classic.

CCG: UGH.


CGA: I Have Been Meaning To Ask
CGA: Why Do Various Parts Of His Body Appear Red And Inflamed

CTG: idk japan has a shitton of bugs
CGA: Oh Thats Unfortunate


CTT: The most shocking twist yet.



CGA: I Have Never Understood Why Boys Have Such A Problem With Dresses
CGA: They Are Very Comfortable And Aesthetic

CTT: It's a mystery.
CTG: probably because thats hella weird


CGA: But Why
CTG: it just is
CGC: P4NTS 4R3 W4Y B3TT3R TH4N DR3SS3S
CGA: I Do Not Agree But I Respect Your Opinion



CGA: I Just Think That Some Boys Would Look Quite Nice In A Well Tailored Dress Or Skirt Thats All
CCG: KANAYA.
CGA: What


CCG: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT AND FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, NO.
CGA: What I Did Not Say Anything
CCG: YOU WERE THINKING IT.
CGA: I Was Not


CGA: That Is Your Own Imagination
CGA: Imagining Things I Did Not Say And Definitely Was Not Thinking At All

CTG: well i for one think a dress would suit you perfectly vantas
CTG: itd complement your big leaky vagina

CCG: I'M JUST GOING TO ASSUME THAT WHATEVER YOU JUST TYPED WAS CONSISTENT WITH YOUR STANDARD LEVEL OF EGREGIOUS TEXTUAL DIARRHEA AND JUST GIVE YOU A HEARTY "FUCK YOU".
CTG: thanks bro


CGC: WH4TS WRONG W1TH H1M >:?
CTG: hahahaha his fucking TITS
CTG: jesus

CTT: Wow.
CTT: That is impressive.



CTT: It's clear why he's molesting pubescent children now.
CTT: Only someone who has never seen another human being's chest before would be willing to sleep with him.



CGA: That Is Questionable




CTT: How romantic.
CGA: Not Really
CGA: Actually That Is Kind Of A Weird Thing To Say



CGC: BL3GH BL3GH BL3GH MY MOUTH F33LS L1K3 1TS FULL OF FUZZ!
CGC: D4V3 YOULL H4V3 TO SHOW US SOM3TH1NG L3SS FUZZY N3XT T1M3 >:]

CTG: maybe later
CTG: weve got two more of these fuckers to get through


CCG: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS???
CTG: yup



CTT: I'm surprised anyone wanted this enough to fund even one of these, let alone three.
CTG: no youre not
CTT: No, I suppose I'm not.


CCG: OH GOD, I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE ANY MORE OF THESE.
CGC: 1M LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO TH3 OTH3RS H3H3H3 >:]
CGC: TH1S 1S FUN!

CGA: Fun Is Not The Word I Would Use But I Suppose I Feel Some Sort Of Obligation To See These Through To The Bitter End


CCG: I'M JUST GONNA
CCG: CLOSE MY EYES
CCG: SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER

CGA: How Will We Tell You If Your Eyes Are Closed
CCG: I DON'T KNOW, YELL OR SOMETHING.
CGA: Can You Even Hear Us From Your Block
CGA: Did You Hear That

CCG: NO I


CCG: FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK


CCG: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


CCG: GUSDHG;SUJDNFSNF;SIKJ;IOEJ IAHBALHSDVBAYGBPSDHA8DU9Q3U0I9NHA SHAB DHABSUJ


CCG: OH MY GOD, WHY IS THIS SO TERRIBLE???
CCG: HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR ONE THING TO BE SO UNFATHOMABLY AWFUL IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY????

CTT: It's almost artful in its unbearable terror.
CTG: "almost"???
CTG: listen its a crime that this shit isnt already featured in the fucking louvre

CGC: H3H3H3





CTT: I love how he's just concerned about the dress, and not the fact an adult man just ejaculated all over his face.
CGA: Well
CGA: As I Understand It
CGA: Ive Been Told That
CGA: Genetic Material Can Be Quite Difficult To Remove From Clothing So I Can Empathize With His Concerns



CTT: Sympathize, you mean?
CGA: Yes What Did I Say
CGA: Oh
CGA: Er
CGA: What I Meant Was


CGA: Wow His Undergarments Are Quiet Pleasantly Designed Are They Not
CTT: Yes, they are very nice.



CGA: Oh
CGA: You Like Them
CGA: I Could Make You Something Like It If You Wanted

CCG: ...
CGA: Oh Goodness That Was A Weird Thing For Me To Say Wasnt It
CTG: hahahaha
CTT: It's fine.
CTT: I appreciate the offer, Kanaya. Thank you.


CGA: I Am Going To Stop Talking Now



CCG: OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?
CCG: THIS IS REVOLTING.

CTG: dude are you 6
CCG: ... YES?
CTG: hold on let me get out my calculator
CTG: dude are you 2.7777777777777777777777777777778

CCG: WHAT, NO.


CCG: OH GOD THE SOUNDS
CGC: SQU3LCH SQU3LCH SQU3LCH >:]
CCG: TEREZI NO.
CGC: 1F ONLY YOU KN3W HOW 1T T4ST3S K4RK4T!
CCG: UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH



CGA: How Is He Being Mean I Am Not Quite Following
CTG: its not proper japanese porn unless the one on the bottom is pretending to be in extreme pain at all time
CGA: Why
CGA: Thats Very Odd

CTG: who knows




CCG: WHYYYY






CTT: Aw, how sweet.
CTT: I'm moved.



CGC: SQU3LCH SQU3LCH SQU3LCH!
CGC: H3H3H3 >:]

CCG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT, MY FINGERS ARE GOING IN MY FUCKING EARS.
CTG: why dont you just turn off the sound dude
CCG: FUCK YOU.
CCG: ACTUALLY
CCG: OK THAT'S PROBABLY A BETTER IDEA.



CTT: You'd think he would have figured this out by now.



CGC: H4H4H4 OH WOW
CTT: "My butt is so full."
CTT: ... Really? Seriously?

CTG: you wish you could write such stirring dialogue lalonde
CTT: If only.


CCG: NO


CCG: NO


CCG: NO NO NO
CTG: okay man this is like the third cumshot youve seen
CTG: it cant be that shocking anymore

CCG: NO, IT HAS BEEN EQUALLY HORRIFYING EACH AND EVERY TIME.


CGC: OH 1TS NOT TH4T B4D!
CCG: YES IT IS.
CGC: BLUH BLUH BLUH >:P


CTT: I wish they would stop showing his chest on screen.
CTT: My face is starting to hurt.



CTT: Oh, I see where this is going.



CCG: WOW, RUDE MUCH???
CCG: HOLY SHIT, WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

CTG: hahaha dude are you serious



CTT: I'm sure a completely naked, cum-drenched little boy stepping out of an elevator isn't going to raise any suspicions.
CCG: WHAT??
CCG: THE KID JUST WANTS TO BE PITIED AND THIS COWARD CAN'T EVEN ADMIT HE CARES ABOUT MORE THAN HIS PAIL!

CGA: I Do Not Get The Impression That This Was Intended To Have A Particularly Compelling Love Story
CTG: these words that you are saying are the lamest words i have read possibly ever



CCG: UGHH, WHATEVER.



CTT: Oh, wonderful. Time for a montage!






CGA: Oh No Why Is He Cutting His Hair
CTG: first thing you do in the animes when you get upset
CTG: lop it all off
CTG: its like a requirement



CTT: A graveyard is definitely one of the first places I'd look when searching for a child I've raped.


CGC: >8O
CGC: 1 TH1NK H3 T4ST3S B3TT3R L1K3 TH1S >:]


FUTURE gallowsCalibrator [FGC] 16 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo.
FGC: D4V3 1S TH1S YOU???
FGC: http://www.tinyurl.com/TH1S1SSOYOUD4V3
CGC: OH TH4NKS FUTUR3 M3 >:]
FGC: NO PROBL3M!

FGC ceased responding to memo.
CTG: terezi


CTG: terezi jesus fucking christ hahaha
CGC: >:D


CCG: AND YOU TELL ME I'M LAME.
CCG: HAHAHA.
CCG: HAHAHAHAHA!
CCG: OH MAN SO FUNNY!

CTG: dude what are you going on about
CGC: K4RK4T COM3 ON >:V



CCG: NOT MUCH MAN, NOT MUCH JUST REFLECTING ON HOW YOU'RE JUST SO TERRIBLE.
CCG: SOMETIMES IT JUST HITS ME LIKE, OH MAN THIS GUY IS BASICALLY THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT.
CGG: WHAT A RIOT!

CTG: what


CTG: what did i do this time
CTG: are you just going into sick burn withdrawal
CTG: do you just start shaking and crying if you go more than 30 seconds without me utterly destroying your pathetic ass



CCG: HAHAHAHA, YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVABLY FULL OF YOURSELF.
CCG: NO, PITLICKER, YOUR PEDESTRIAN "BURNS" SLOUGH RIGHT OFF MY SKIN, WHICH IS BASICALLY STAINLESS FUCKING STEEL.
CCG: I AM ABSOLUTELY
CCG: FUCKING
CCG: UNFLAPPBLE.
CCG: I'M JUST DOING YOU A BENEVOLENT SERVICE INFORMING YOU OF HOW ATROCIOUS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS, SINCE YOU APPEAR TO BE UNAWARE OF IT.

CTG: no u
CCG: FUCK YOU, YOU FUCK.




CTG: wow nice one dude
CTG: really struck me at my core
CTG: haha just kidding that was terrible



CTG: why dont i give you another shot at that one
CTG: if you try enough times ill sure youll be able to come up with something less flaccid than that

CCG: EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS FUCKING FLACCID.
CTG: see that was way better
CTG: im so proud of you



CTT: Will you two just snog and get it out of the way already?
CTT: There's this child pornography here I'm trying to watch, and your incessant flirting is terribly distracting.

CTG: uhhhhhhhhh
CCG: WHAT
CTG: i am NOT flirting with that fuck
CCG: WHAT


CGA: Oh
CGA: I Had Assumed You Were Engaged In Caliginous Courtship As Well
CGA: Is That Not What Has Been Going On

CTG: no???????
CCG: DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT.
CTG: jesus dick what



CCG: JUST THINKING ABOUT ANY KIND OF ROMANTIC ENGAGEMENT WITH THAT INSUFFERABLE SHITNECK MAKES ME PHYSICALLY ILL.
CTG: finally something we can agree on



CGC: 1 TH1NK YOU WOULD B3 CUT3 TOG3TH3R >:]
CCG: OH MY GOD.
CTG: oh my god
CCG: TEREZI, NO.
CCG: THIS IS SOME STONE COLD PLATONIC ODIUM, OKAY?



CGA: Yes Why Not
CGA: You Seem Well Suited For Kismesissitude

CCG: FFFFFUUUUUCCCKKKKKKK
CTG: not gay
CCG: ARE YOU ALL FUCKING INSANE???
CTG: if was gay would have standards
CGA: What Is A Gay



CTT: The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
CTG: no
CTG: triple fucking no
CTG: wow can we not talk about this



CTT: Dave, are you sure you don't have any latent desires you'd like to discuss?
CTT: Getting it all out in the open can be therapeutic.

CTG: NO LALONDE I DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DISCUSS LATENT OR OTHERWISE WE HAVE MOVED ON FROM THIS TOPIC


CTT: Aww, have you started using his quirk now?
CTT: Has the date of the wedding been set?

CTG: oh my fucking god



CCG: MY THINKPAN HAS MELTED INTO A SCALDING MOLTEN SLUDGE AND IS ABOUT TO GEYSER THROUGH MY EYESOCKETS
CCG: THE VOLCANIC FORCE OF MY CRANIAL VOMIT IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE ON THIS FUCKING METEOR



CTG: i wish i could have aborted this conversation before it was ever born
CTG: hey how about we talk about this porn instead

CCG: WOW YES THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA LET'S DO THAT.



CTG: look at that that sure is something
CCG: I CANNOT TAKE MY EYES OFF IT BECAUSE IT IS ABSOLUTELY ENTHRALLING AND CAPTURES THE ENTIRETY OF MY ATTENTION.


CTG: yes undoubtedly
CCG: WOW IT'S INCREDIBLE THE KINDS OF THINGS THAT ARE TAKING PLACE IN THIS CARTOON.


CTG: wow a little boy transforming into a penis this is fascinating
CCG: WOW!!!
CTT: This is adorable.
CTG: fuck you
CGC: FUCK YOU


CGA: Boys
CTT: I know, right?
CGC: H3H3H3H3
CGC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
CGC ceased responding to memo.
CTG: thank fuck
CTG: time to pretend that never happened



CTT: Hahahahaha.
CTT: Okay, yes, this is definitely hilarious.

CGC: H3H3H3 >:D
CGA: It Is A Good Thing Karkat Left I Do Not Think He Would Have Been Able To Handle This






CTG: aaand thats all folks
CGC: 4WW
CGC: WH3N W1LL YOU SHOW TH3 OTH3R TWO? >:]

CTG: i dunno sometime later
CTG: ill let you know


CGC: OK TH4NKS D4V3!
CGC: L4T3R >:D

CGC ceased responding to memo.


CGA: Thank You For Showing This
CGA: I Guess


CGA: I Feel Like Maybe I Should Be Doing What The Opposite Of Thanking You Is Though
CGA: I Think My Life Is Probably Measurably Worse Now That I Have Seen This

CTG: youre welcome kanaya
CGA: Ok
CGA: Well
CGA: Goodbye

CGA ceased responding to memo.


CTT: Alright, I simply must ask,
CTT: Why was I never invited to a showing of such an impeccable work of artistic genius?
CTT: I feel all left out.

CTG: i dunno


CTT: I understand you harangued John quite vigorously, but I heard not a stray word about such a thing!
CTT: O, such piteous woes overcome me.

CTG: i guess
CTG: back then you were a girl and not my sister
CTG: so it would have been weird to ask you to watch kiddie porn with me


CTT: Well, I'm still a girl, and one could argue that me being your sister makes it even weirder now.
CTT: And that still likely would have been less weird than insistently pressuring your heterosexual male friend to watch pornography depicting a little boy engaging in homosexual sex.


CTG: yeah but i didnt actually want to slip egbert the strider sausage
CTT: Are you implying that the primary impediment to initiating me into Boku no Pico was an extant desire to slip me your "sausage"?
CTG: wow
CTG: i just realized how phenomenally wrong that came out
CTG: and i am now searching for ways to fit my foot into my mouth


CTT: If it's any consolation, this is much less retrospectively awkward than all of the lewd sexual comments you made about my mother's "choice ass".
CTG: no lalonde thats not any consolation
CTG: in fact thats pretty much the opposite of a consolation


CTG: god damn am i fucking oedipus
CTG: just floundering in a sea of unintentional incest

CTT: Given that she is now dead, I think the chances of you engaging in unknowing sexual congress with our mother are very slim.
CTG: and thank fucking god for that because otherwise i probably would have just tripped and fell into her vagina at some point
CTG: ok that was way too soon wasnt it


CTT: A little.
CTT: But I suppose every cloud has a single lining.
CTT: While my mother may have died what was likely a gruesome and painful death, at least I will no longer have to worry about you ruining the family reunions with your poor penile motor control.


CTG: i cant tell whether youre playing along with my shit joke or trying to make me feel bad
CTT: I can't do both?
CTT: I thought you were the expert on multifaceted humor.
CTT: Keep up, Strider.


CTG: i could never hold a candle to you in the arena of passive aggressive horseshit lalonde
CTG: you are the undisputed champion

CTT: I wonder if I can get a belt for that.


CTG: welp
CTG: thats it

CTT: Thank you for this wonderfully educational experience.
CTT: I'll see you around the rock.

CTG: see you
CTT ceased responding to memo.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 37 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: OH, BY THE WAY.
CTG: god damn i was just about to leave
CTG: what do you want

FCG: I JUST WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING.
CTG: what
FCG: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
CTG: uh
CTG: ok then

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG2] 47 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG2: UGH, THAT WAS SO FUCKING STUPID.
FCG2: HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW BADLY YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF???
FCG: DUDE, YOU'RE ME FROM LITERALLY TEN MINUTES IN THE FUTURE.
FCG: UNLESS YOU'VE FUCKING LOBOTOMIZED YOURSELF THERE IS NO WAY YOU DON'T STILL UNDERSTAND HOW BADLY THIS SHITFROND NEEDED TO GET TOLD.
FCG: AND WOW WHAT DO YOU KNOW!!! I KNOW FOR A FUCKING *FACT* I DO NOT HAVE ANY TOOLS CAPABLE OF PROPERLY PERFORMING A LOBOTOMY IN MY IMMEDIATE VICINITY AND WITH A MEAGER TEN MINUTES OF TEMPORAL DISTANCE BETWEEN US I FIND IT EXCEEDINGLY UNLIKELY THAT YOU ACCOMPLSIHED ANY SUCH THING IN THAT PERIOD OF TIME.
FCG2: OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I WROTE THAT.
FCG: I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW FUCKING STUPID YOU ARE, MAINLY.
FCG: APPARENTLY YOU FORGOT THAT, ON ACCOUNT OF BEING SO FUCKING STUPID!!!
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG3]
2 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG3: LOOK, BOTH OF YOU, DON'T ARGUE IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING HUMAN.
FCG3: I MEAN I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT TO TEAR EACH OTHER APART, SINCE YOU'RE BOTH COMPLETELY INSUFFERABLE.
FCG3: BUT NOW'S NOT THE TIME. YOU HAVE A MUCH GREATER ENEMY STANDING BEFORE YOU AND YOU'RE SQUANDERING YOUR OPPORTUNITY WITH THIS ASININE BULGE MEASURING CONTEST.
FCG3: YOUR BULGES ARE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING SIZE, YOU HAVE LITERALLY THE SAME FUCKING BULGE.
FCG3: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, STOP.
FCG: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

CTG: is this how trolls masturbate
FCG2: FUCK OFF
FCG: FUCK OFF
FCG3: FUCK OFF
FCG3: ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING.
FCG3: THIS IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.
FCG: YOU'RE COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, WHY DON'T *YOU* STEP THE FUCK OFF???
FCG2: STEP THE FUCK OFF THE EDGE OF THE METEOR MAYBE!
FCG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT FOR WHEN I'M YOU.
FCG3: WOW NOOKNUTS, I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT METEORS ARE FUCKING ROUND.
FCG3: THERE IS NO GOD DAMN EDGE FOR ME TO STEP OFF!!!
FCG3: UN FUCKING BELIEVABLE.

CTG: ...
FCG: BELIEVE THIS FUCKNECK!
FCG: I'M MAKING A VULGAR GESTURE WHERE I GRAB MY BULGE, BY THE WAY.
FCG3: DUDE, I FUCKING REMEMBER, I AM YOU.
FCG2: HOW FUCKING DENSE CAN YOU GET???
FCG3: I KNOW, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW EITHER OF US COULD HAVE EVER BEEN THAT DUMB.

CTG ceased responding to memo.