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Jeeves and The Morning After

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This was the first morning that I had woken up on my own in quite some time. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time Jeeves hadn't been standing by my bedside with my b. in b. at the ready. I slowly opened one eye at the damnable nuisance of daylight. At that, I realised the noise that I had been hearing in my dream wasn't some ruddy bear growling, but rather snoring. I sat up slightly, propping myself up on the elbows, only to discover three somewhat distressing facts. One being that I had a terrible hang over, two being that I was naked, and the other that I was not alone. I glanced over to see my companion of the night facing away from me, snoring heavily. I poked him in the arm.

'Jeeves? I say, Jeeves.'

'Mmphr?'

I poked again.

'Wake up, Jeeves.'

He rolled over with barely opened eyes. I dare say his appearance was a far distant cry from the norm and not just for the lack of clothing.

'Sir?'

He blinked a few times as if to focus in on me.

'Oh, good heavens, I've over slept. I'll fetch your morning tea straight away, sir.'

He moved as if to get out of bed, but the sudden movement caused his no doubt equally horrific hang over to flare up as well. His eyes narrowed to mere slits and one hand went to his forehead. And, yet, he still was moving with the intent of making me tea. I placed my hand on his arm.

'There's no need for that, Jeeves, old boy.'

'But, sir ...'

'I rather you stayed in bed. Besides, there's no use for morning tea at four in the afternoon.'

'I suppose not. I do apologise most regrettably, sir.'

'Tut. There's nothing to apologise for. Except, perhaps, for the fact that we drank so dashed much last night. I barely remember anything at all.'

'Nor do I.'

'I remember getting out of bed and tottering off to the kitchen for a late night snack. This was when I ran into you ... literally.'

'Yes, sir. I'd just gotten out of the bath and was toweling dry my hair when sir collided with me in the dark.'

'After you apologised, I invited you to share my late night snack. You refused. I insisted.'

'If I remember correctly, sir, your so-called snack consisted entirely of alcohol.'

'Not entirely, if you'll recall, a certain valet was on the menu as well.'

'I do recall.'

At that, Jeeves blushed. That slight flush of crimson caused certain parts of the old Wooster a. to want a repeat of last night. Especially considering that I could only remember bits here and there. I leaned towards him, quickly landing a kiss on those divine lips. He pulled away.

'Sir, I don't think ...'

'Dash it all, Jeeves, don't think.'

A moment later, his tongue was in my mouth and one talented and devoted hand had tillaged its way underneath the sheets. Between the two of us, there was enough gasping and profanities to make my dear Aunt A. die from shock. Not that she wouldn't keel over from the scene alone. I'll have to remember to arrange a visit.

My last cohearent thought was that if we keep this up, the neighbours are going to have us chucked out again.