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(for you are my fate,my sweet)

Summary:

Sir Benjamin Organa Solo of Alderaan and Lady Rey of Exegol have been betrothed since her infancy. Their love grows despite the distance and the years that separate them, thanks to Ben's loving letters.

Inspired by [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] from E.E. Cummings

Notes:

CW// The Last Duel
I watched The Last Duel a few weeks ago and wanted to write a story that featured all of the hotness of Adam as Le Gris without all of the assault and mistrust of women.

So that's where soft, poet boi Ben comes in. Inspired by all of the lovely medieval Reylo gifs floating around twitter and dedicated to all of the wonderful writers and creators in the Reylo world. <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)

They had been engaged from her infancy. Young Benjamin Organa Solo of Alderaan was more concerned with playing with the wooden sword his father had gifted him for his 10th birthday and running wild through the grounds of the sprawling estate managed by his parents. He had no time for babies and certainly no time for marriage.

“Don’t you worry your little head about it, darling,” his mother cooed at him as she brushed through the tangles in his shaggy, dark hair after a romp in the woods with his closest friends, Armitage and Poe, sons of two of his parents’ most trusted advisors – Sir Hux and Sir Dameron.

“But mother, I don’t want to marry,” he pouted, crossing his arms and staring at the fire crackling in his mother’s bedchamber hearth, “I want to go off on adventures like father and see the world! You cannot travel with a baby, all they do is cry all day long!”

Lady Leia Organa Solo laughed before pressing a kiss to the top of her son’s head, “Oh my dear boy, you won’t be marrying a baby. The wedding will not take place until Lady Rey is of age, you will have plenty of time for adventures like your father before you must settle down with her.”

The boy huffed but did not protest as his mother pushed him gently to his feet, pinching his cheeks before smiling at her son, “Besides, she may grow up to be a very fair maiden, and you will most definitely be interested in marrying her then.”

Unlikely, thought little Benjamin, tearing down the corridor in search of his friends and more trouble.


Ten years passed, and little Rey of Exegol grew from a chubby cheeked babe into a skinny slip of a girl, the absolute terror of Grandfather’s household. She ran wild through the gardens and tracked in all manners of mud and muck, horrifying her lady’s maids and amusing her closest friends, Finn and Rose. Finn was the son of Palpatine’s steward and Rose the youngest child of the stable master.

“Come here, girl,” her grandfather snarled as Rey tried to tiptoe past the Great Hall, she had heard something about visitors and wanted to try and get a glimpse of them from the window in the library, she wasn’t supposed to be in that room alone, but it had the best view of the road leading to front gate.

“Good morning, Grandfather,” she mumbled, curtsying awkwardly and brushing away the strands of flyaway hair that had escaped her long braid.

“Your betrothed and his family are paying us a visit, and it is imperative that their stay is nothing but pleasant. This marriage is the only thing you’re good for, which is why you will be staying in your chambers for three days’ time,” he shot her a menacing warning look as she began to stomp her feet in protest. “You are much too feral to meet them as you are, so I have no choice but to tell them that you have come down with a terrible fever and can see no visitors. Once they have gone, I will send word that you are recovered, and you will be seen as strong and robust for having survived such an affliction.”

“But Grandfather – ” she began, but she was silenced when he stood swiftly, stalking forward from his place on the dais at the front of the room.

“Silence,” he murmured, “Your father was a disappointment to me, and got himself killed in a battle that should have been easily won. Your mother was weak of spirit and withered away leaving this house without any possible hope save for a wretched little monster child. You will marry Benjamin Organa Solo when you are of age and bear him many heirs, bringing honour back upon this house. Now go upstairs before I have you whipped, and don’t make a sound until the good Lord and Lady have departed with their boy.”

Rey felt fat, hot tears roll down her cheeks as she stumbled to her chambers, throwing herself onto the bed and thrashing her little fists against the covers. She didn’t know what she had done to make Grandfather hate her so, and she didn’t want to marry a boy she had never met! When Paige, Rose’s older sister got married, she had seen her husband many times before the wedding. What’s more, she had been in love!

She cried for what felt like hours, until her tears had dried and she fell into a fitful sleep. Much later, she heard the distant beat of hooves and the creak of the main manor gate, knowing then that the guests must be arriving.

A kitchen maid arrived to bring her a tray of food, and she ate it petulantly, staring out at the gardens below her window. Night had fallen, and the torches were lit. Rey often wondered why her grandfather bothered to maintain the grounds when she seemed to be the only person to enjoy them.

Then, a tall, dark-haired man strolled up the main path, shoulders held high and figure striking even from a distance. Rey pressed her nose as close to the glass as she could, straining to catch a better look at the stranger.

He disappeared some time later, making his way back inside. For the next three days, she watched from her window, desperate for another peek of the one she was certain was her future husband. She had no evidence it was even him, but she liked the way he walked and the way his long hair curled around his face. Rey’s window was too high to make out his features, but it didn’t matter, she could imagine them.

When the Lord and Lady of Alderaan departed with their son in tow, Rose tumbled into Rey’s chambers as soon as the door was unbolted.

“We saw him, Rey, we saw him!” Rose cried, grabbing her friend’s hands and jumping wildly.

“Who? Benjamin?” her heart was fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings, wondering for the thousandth time if the tall man wandering the gardens was to be her husband.

“Yes,” Finn seemed much less enthused, waiting by the door with his arms crossed, “And he was extremely serious and taciturn.”

“Oh, pay him no heed, he’s so handsome he doesn’t need to smile!” Rose crowed, giggling madly before throwing her arms around Rey’s neck.

“What’s he like?” she whispered the question, unsure why the answer scared her so.

“Tall, dark, brooding,” Finn scoffed.

So the mystery man she had spied from her window must have been him! She didn’t know why that made her feel so giddy, she had never felt anything a boy before.

“He left this for you,” Rose whispered, pressing an envelope into Rey’s palm, “Finn doesn’t even know, so keep it hidden.”

Rey had to wait to read Benjamin’s note until her lady’s maids had left her for the evening, and she sat to read it bundled in a thick blanket by the fire, breaking the wax seal with trembling fingers.

Dear Lady Rey,

Your grandfather told us on our arrival that you are quite ill. It is my sincerest hope that you are restored to full health soon.

I have also been told that you are fond of riding horses, which is an activity that I myself also enjoy thoroughly. What more can I tell you about myself... Let us see, I am an avid reader, though my true passion is writing. I depart in two months’ time to my Uncle’s estate to the north, where I will complete my training and one day become a Knight for our King, and I hope to win many battles and bring honour to our house as your husband.

How strange that we are to be wed and yet have never met. Will you even be able to read this letter? I know it is not typical of ladies of your station to study letters, so perhaps I will teach you someday.

As you may not understand these words, I must also confess that I am not particularly handsome. My nose is much too large and my eyes and hair are not blue nor fair as many nobles may boast. But as is my duty, I vow to cherish and protect you, and provide as happy a home as my father has for my mother.

You are still so young, little Rey, and so our wedding will not come to pass for quite some time. I leave you with these last few words – a snippet of a poem I wrote several years ago when I first started having flying fancies about my future wife:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

Your faithful servant,

Benjamin Organa Solo, of Alderaan


            i fear
no fate

The day that Rey had been dreaming of for years had finally come – her first journey beyond the walls of her grandfather’s estate since her parents’ untimely deaths over a decade ago. She had just turned nineteen the summer past and was travelling to Alderaan at the invitation of her future in-laws.

She and Benjamin, who had insisted many times in his letters that she addressed him as “Ben”, were still a year away from their wedding. It had been agreed that they would wait until after her 20th birthday, and Rey was glad. While she was anxious to leave behind Grandfather’s estate in Exegol – and his ever-increasing temper – she was terrified to become the mistress of her own lands.

Part of her sizeable dowry included Jakku, rumour was the land was difficult to work and yielded few crops, for the soil was rough and hard to till.

About six months ago, in one of her letters to Ben, in a fit of despair she had confided in him her worries. She knew she was a quick learner and strong of both mind and body, but her manners were brash and she did not behave in all the ways that seemed to be proper for a lady. Her posture was too oafish and her dancing was abysmal, and tried though she might, she was not a gifted singer nor painter as many ladies often were.

My sweet,

You could be as brazen as a bridge troll and I would still think you the most wonderful woman in the world. Unless you have filled our correspondence with falsehoods and half-truths, I know your soul. Dearest Rey, you are more brilliant than the brightest star in the sky and more dear to me than my own heart. The breath in my body is yours, and even if our lands are harsh and the work is hard, we will endure.

I would pen a thousand pages were there all the time in the world. I must away, but I leave you with some pretty poetry for a pretty girl –

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

Your faithful servant,

Sir Benjamin Organa Solo, Knight of Ren

The day the letter arrived, Rey read it and re-read it, until her eyes were straining and she had memorised every word. Now that Finn was gone from the estate, working for Lord and Lady Holdo as a steward like his father before him, and Rose staying with her sister Paige and her husband to help with their children, the view from where Rey sat was rather grey.

She filled her days as best she could – often poring over books in the library for hours before practising her numbers or whatever foreign language Grandfather saw fit to have her learn. Sometimes a special tutor was brought in to try to teach her dancing or singing or needlepoint, but after a few lessons she was always deemed hopeless and was made to spend a few days locked in her bedchamber as punishment.

Rey never told Ben of her confinement; he may have been her betrothed but there was nothing that could be done while she was still living under her grandfather’s roof. Besides, staring out her window on those gloomy days, waiting and wanting, she could almost imagine him as he was when he visited over nine years ago. How different must he look now – knighted and grown. He had told her then that he was not handsome, but she refused to believe it.

And now she was finally going to have a chance to see his countenance! Surely not in person, no, he was off collecting rent for his uncle, the Lord Skywalker of Naboo, but surely in the great manor at Alderaan there would be a painting of his likeness. Perhaps even a bust of his regal face!


Sir Benjamin Organa Solo awoke with a start, head and cheek throbbing, with a horrible dryness in his mouth. Panicked, he tried to sit up but was deterred by a sharp pain in his shoulder.

Crying out, he clutched at what he realised then was a bandaged wound, falling back against the pillows and looking around wildly.

“Oh thank heavens, you are awake!” his mother’s voice floated to him, and he swung his gaze until it landed on her concerned face, hovering over him.

“Mother?” surely she would not have travelled to Tatooine, where he had been busy collecting the rents for Uncle Luke. It was nearly a week’s journey, and she had a house to run.

Lady Leia looked like she was about to start weeping, and Ben wondered what in the devil had happened, when suddenly his father appeared.

Lord Han was looking grim as well, nothing of the dashing, joking humour with which he usually strolled through the world.

“Hello son,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around his mother and pulling her close, “We were so worried.”

“What happened?” Ben croaked, grimacing at the low throb that was radiating out from his shoulder.

“You were collecting the rents for your Uncle’s estate as he bid you to do,” his mother gasped, delicate hand over her mouth, “And a group of bandits attacked you and your men as you made your way back from Tatooine. Oh my dear son, we were worried you were lost to us!”

“It’s alright, Mother, please don’t fret,” he really didn’t want her to worry, but her sobs were making his head hurt more than it already did.

“Come, my dear, let the boy rest. We will sit with him later, let us go,” Lord Han urged, nodding at Ben as he shot him a knowing look. The wounded knight did his best to nod back, wincing as a cut he had not noticed on his neck smarted.

Reaching up with a shaking hand, he was horrified to find it was the same gash that wound up from his collarbone to his cheek, stopping just below his eye. The doctor came in then, to check his wounds and apply a tincture that made his lip curl with the sting, and then he was pulled into the murky depths of sleep.


Warmth, that’s what he noticed first. His hand was warm and there was the faintest smell of honeysuckle and magnolias, and despite the throbbing ache in his shoulder and face, he felt oddly calm.

He heard a sniff and a shuffle, and the warmth enveloping his hand squeezed.

With great difficulty, he lifted his eyelids and blinked blearily. Despite the pain, he was certain he was in heaven, for before him was an angel.

Auburn hair fell around the angel in waves, framing her delicate face that was sun-kissed and dotted with freckles, a constellation that he wanted to spend an eternity mapping. Her lashes were lowered and he flitted his gaze over her pointed nose and the delicate slope of her lips.

Where were her wings? Surely an angel as pure and beautiful as her would have the most wonderful white wings.

And then hazel eyes, red rimmed and glittering with tears were staring into his very soul. Why was she crying? His heart hurt in his chest at the thought of the suffering of such an ethereal creature.

“Benjamin?” she brought his hand to her lips, trembling little petals that brushed the softest kiss against his skin, “Are you well, good sir?”

“Who,” lords above his voice crackled like the dying embers of a fire in the hearth, “Who are you, my lady?”

She bit her lip, and he watched with fascination as little pearly teeth caressed the flesh he suddenly longed to kiss.

“I am Lady Rey of Exegol, sir, your betrothed,” her cheeks had taken on a lovely flush, and Ben felt his heart flutter in disbelief. He must have misheard her, there was no way in all of creation that the fallen star of a woman before him was to be his wife.

“Rey?” tears sprung to his eyes, “My heart, my dearest one? Can this be?”

“I am no mirage, my darling,” despite the tears blurring her vision and his, he could see her smile was brighter than the noon-sun, “I love you, Sir Benjamin Organa Solo, the bravest knight and kindest soul.”

Uncaring of propriety nor the ache in his shoulder, he sat up as best he could manage, realising as he straightened that she was much shorter than he was, seated beside him. Lady Rey looked up at him, lashes fluttering as she took a breath. His hand cupped her delicate cheek, and he could feel her heartbeat fluttering in her neck against where his little finger rested.

“May I kiss you, my sweet?” had he really just asked her that? Perhaps there had been poison in the tincture the doctor had given him, muddling his mind and running off with his good sense.

“Of course, my love,” she was smiling at him then, genuine and free of tears.

And then their lips touched, and it was unlike any other feeling in the world. Her mouth was warm and hesitant against his, her little nose brushing against his cheek as her breath came out in little puffs against his skin. He reached his other hand out to cradle her face between his palms, and he felt rather than saw the curve of her smile, and his heart threatened to burst out of his chest of his love for her.

“I am so glad you were not more grievously harmed, Ben,” she whispered sometime later, clever little fingers carding through his long, tangled hair.

“As am I, dearest Rey, for I intend to be in the best of health when we say our vows in a year's time."

He thought of the little boy he had been when he was told of his betrothal, remembering complaining about babies and how they could not go on adventures. With Lady Rey’s hand nestled in his, he realised that there would be no greater adventure than starting a life with her.

             i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

Notes:

Originally I had intended to write this as an agnsty, smutty piece with Ben going rogue for years and eventually finding his way back to sweet Lady Rey and featuring their wedding night, but in the end I'm happy I went in this direction. Thanks for reading!

I tweet about Reylo and Darklina @SundayWolfSong