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Wake up and dream once more

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There are only few people at court that knows why the crown prince takes no lovers. There are fewer people that know that it is not a matter of why but a question of whom.

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Quade is in love with James, a son of a minor noble. But lineage can go to hell as far as Quade is concerned. He would choose James even if he was the son of a pauper.

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He is young and has much to learn. James smiles at him in the sun and he has learnt all that he needs.They say love is blind and they stake their lives on forever.

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Duty calls. And it knocks loudly at Quade's door. He buries himself in James and forgets, forgets, forgets.
But duty is patient and the Kingdom can wait.

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His father is dying. And duty cannot wait anymore. There is a sadness in James's eyes that Quade cannot ignore. It breaks his heart. Because if he was anyone one else. Anyone at all he would be free.
But he is a prince and blood is stronger than love.

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Duty calls. And he opens his door and answers.

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James leaves. And he is king. James leaves and he marries a princess from the neighbouring kingdom. James leaves and his heart will never be whole again.

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She knows and she hates him. She knows and they have a son. She knows and he hasn't seen James in five years.

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There is war in his kingdom. He puts on his armour and rides to war. There is a freedom in this that he hasn't known for years. He revels in the blood and the screams and death. Everywhere he looks, there is death. This will be his legacy. A kingdom drowning in blood.

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He finds James under a fallen castle burning to dust. James smiles and there is blood on his face and he lets himself remember and lets himself forget.

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They fight side by side. He laughs and spurs his horse on. James is beside him and this war is suddenly worth it all.

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It is a stray arrow that pierces his heart. He tries to smile and tastes blood in his mouth. There are tears in James's eyes and he tries to breathe but can't. Oh. James grips his hand and begs.
Please.
Please.
He wants to say he's sorry. He wants to tell James that he loves him. But he's out of time. He's out of time and James's eyes are bluer than the sky.
He lets go.
And James is alone.
He lets go and he will wait forever.

 

The end.