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Everyone Was Happy and Nobody Died

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Prompt 1: Pick a platonic relationship you wish had gone differently in the book.

Answer: John and Jennifer. I kind of wish they had a better understanding of each other. I don't ship Jennifer and Dave but I understand her fear for the unknown and wanting to go back to a normal life.

"I've got to go to the bathroom."

Out of all of the shit John and Jen had heard in the past year that sentence was always the most dreaded. It wasn't that Jen hated John—though she always thought he was annoying—she just hated how he always went out of his way to bring up shit she specifically asked him not to. No matter how many times Dave told him to stop he just didn't get it…at least that's what Dave said but Jen knew John understood and did what he wanted any way. He was selfish and rude and just an all around asshole. She wanted to force Dave to stop hanging out with him butt hat was impossible. They were best friends. Unfortunately.

"Crhm…nice night we're having."

Jen turned her head slightly to glance at John who was totally focused on his beer. She rolled her eyes away and to the stars, "Yeah, it's great."

"Except for the screaming bloody guy that's been trying to get your attention for the last hour."


Jen shoved her eyes shut as the screaming suddenly became clear. It wasn't that she hadn't noticed it—she heard him and briefly saw a flash of him when she walked out to the backyard—but she managed to use all her force to ignore him until that exact second. Her hands came up to cover her ears as the screams became deafening and she prayed for Dave to come back but she knew he was taking a crap he had been farting out all day.


The screams came to a halt at the end of her order and all that was left was her own whimpering as she hunched over and tried to protect herself from the evil in the world. John sighed as if to scold her and then he really did, "I don't know why you ignore them like that. You know you can see it and they know you can see them. They see you and they run to you and hope you will just look at them, why don't you?"

"Shut the fuck up," she hissed as she jerked her head in his direction, "You are such an asshole. I hate you."

"Because I'm telling you the truth?" John scoffed.

"Because you know I'm afraid."

Real tears formed and real tears were leaking out of the girl that had worked so hard to build up the appearance of being the strongest, most confident woman around and she had done such a good job that even John didn't know about the weakness inside. He looked down at his beer as he shook his head, "I'm sorry. I just…I just thought you…I thought you just wanted to go back to the normal perfect life you had before. I thought you wanted to forget what we went through and forget what happened because…because you were lazy or something. I…I really wouldn't have been such an asshole if I knew you were afraid."

Jen was still crying but she lifted her head to look at him to see if he was telling the truth…and she knew he was. She could see he felt guilty and she could see he had the look of a person desperately wanting to go back in time to change what he had done. That was enough for her. She opened her mouth to speak, "It's ok-"

"What the fuck?"

Dave stood behind them with his eyes pointed at John and his arms spread as if to motion to the entire scene before him. Jen stood straight as she wiped her eyes and shook her head, "It's okay. John was just helping me with some weird shit. Everything's okay now."

John looked to her as if to see if she meant what she said and a little smile came over his face when she gave him a wink. Dave took his seat between them and gave them both a quick and weary look before sighing, "Alright, what were we talking about before?"

"Your big hairy balls."


"Well, that's what me and Jen were talking ab-"

"Shut the fu-"

"He's telling the truth."

"Not you too."