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i felt you in my legs (before i ever met you)

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He still gets maudlin sometimes. After meeting the love of his life and then almost immediately dying a somewhat excruciating death, he thinks he's allowed to get in touch with his feelings every now and then, even if he's been back from the afterlife for a while.

He's listening to Shen Wei going through some research he printed out at the office, the rustling of paper a soothing sound in the quiet. Shen Wei has rolled up his sleeves, but the garters are still in place, and his hair is ever so slightly mussed from where Yunlan kissed him earlier, before he sat down for work. There's a cup of tea on the table that Yunlan made for him, and which he deemed drinkable after the first sip. He's still wearing his glasses, out of sheer habit.

He looks like the professor Yunlan first met, but happier, more settled in his skin. He looks like home. It makes Yunlan feel warm inside.

He'd go and get himself one of the fizzy drinks that Shen Wei judgily tolerates, now that they aren't the only thing in the fridge anymore, but he's too content with his head in Shen Wei's lap and one leg swung over the back of the couch to get up. He'll stay here for a while.

Shen Wei's hand curves around his cheek, his thumb stroking lightly over his lips, which stretch into a smile. Shen Wei traces that, too.

"Done reading?" Yunlan says, his eyes still closed.

"Hm," Shen Wei confirms, his fingertips scratching over Yunlan's beard.

He opens one eye. "Any plans for the rest of the evening?"

"Hmm." He runs his thumb over Yunlan's lips again, soft and light.

"What kind of plans?"

Shen Wei is looking down at him, and then he carefully takes off his glasses with his free hand. "Come to bed with me."

Yunlan might like following orders now, every now and then.

In the bedroom, he starts undressing Shen Wei first, but is gently stopped before he can get to the pants. "Let me," Shen Wei says, and then runs his fingers down Yunlan's front, rucking up his T-shirt to slide his hands underneath. He kisses Yunlan when he sways closer, his thumbs sweeping over Yunlan's belly. "Let me," he says again, pulling away to tug at the hem, until Yunlan raises his arms and the T-shirt lands on the floor.

Yunlan smiles into the next kiss, and then they're both fumbling with their pants, one of them definitely with more grace than the other. "Now what," Yunlan says, grinning at Shen Wei, his hand dancing up Shen Wei's spine. "What does your plan say?"

Shen Wei kisses him again, his hand on Yunlan's cheek as he licks into his mouth. When he pulls away, his thumb swipes over Yunlan's lips, more deliberate this time. So he's definitely got one thing in mind. Yunlan smirks at him, catching his hand to lick at the thumb. There's a faint blue dot on the pad, and a little swoop down the side of it, as if Shen Wei had a brief fight with a ballpoint pen and lost.

Yunlan smiles, pushing closer to nuzzle the side of Shen Wei's neck, their hands still trapped between them. "Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell that earnest boy," he whispers, "that he'll get to be a teacher one day."

Shen Wei pulls away just slightly. "Yunlan," he says quietly.

Maybe he could have kept that inside.

He just gets maudlin sometimes, that's all.

"Do you still think about that boy?" Shen Wei murmurs, which is unexpected. He pulls Yunlan's hand to his lips to press a kiss against it, and Yunlan allows himself a sheepish smile.

"Would have been nice to spend a little more time with him." He finally untangles their hands to wind his arms around Shen Wei. "With you." He smirks, on surer footing now. "You didn't talk back so much."

Shen Wei smiles, clearly indulging him. "I was eager to learn."

"Oh, stop it," Yunlan says. "I was so lost."

"I couldn't tell."

"Liar," Yunlan says, leaning in to brush his lips against Shen Wei's.

Shen Wei breaks the kiss, his palm warm on Yunlan's chest. "Close your eyes," he says.

They haven't even made it to bed yet, but Yunlan likes obeying that order. Good things tend to follow.

"Open them."

Yunlan stares.

Shen Wei ducks his head and then looks up at him again, a faint blush on his cheeks.

Yunlan reaches out to cup Shen Wei's face in his palm, chasing the blush. "So that's something else you can do." He runs his fingers over a tight braid, pushes them into the silky hair at the back of Shen Wei's head, stroking the length of it.

"Do I get a point?" Shen Wei smiles.

"Ten points," Yunlan says distractedly, winding a thick strand of hair around his hand, leaning in to kiss Shen Wei's cheek, the corner of his mouth.

"Benefactor," Shen Wei breathes.

Yunlan buries his face in Shen Wei's neck, barely holding back a groan. "This is really doing it for me."

"I can tell," Shen Wei says, but his voice is still so soft, like he doesn't want to ruin the illusion. "What would you like?"

Yunlan squeezes his eyes shut as he gathers his strength against this merciless attack. Honestly, it's a mystery to him how he has survived living with Shen Wei this long. "Sweetheart," he murmurs against Shen Wei's skin, the soft fall of hair over his naked shoulder. Then he presses a kiss against his jaw, slow and lingering, and then another. His heart has almost recovered by the time he pulls away.

Shen Wei is smiling at him, and it's just as beautiful and sweet as Yunlan remembers. "Tell me what you'd like," he says again, his eyes impossibly big and hopeful.

"Come to bed with me," Yunlan says.

That blush is definitely going to kill him.

He lays Shen Wei out before him on the bed like a work of art, straddling his lap to run his fingers over the expanse of pale skin. Even here he's like the young general Yunlan remembers, the muscles honed from years of fighting. On an impulse, he takes Shen Wei's hand into his and kisses a calloused fingertip, and then a faintly scarred knuckle. The hands of a warrior, not a professor. "That's quite the trick," he murmurs, watching Shen Wei.

"You like it?" Shen Wei says, a little shy, and Yunlan closes his eyes again, biting back another groan. It's really sad how transparently he's getting off on this. He won't even mind if Shen Wei laughs at him later.

"You'll grow up to be an absolute terror, you know," he tells Shen Wei, who just smiles his most innocent smile at him, so Yunlan has to bend down and kiss him until they're both out of breath.

"Please," Shen Wei gasps against his lips, his hips rocking up, and Yunlan presses down against him, smiling as Shen Wei lets out a soft noise.

"Of course," he murmurs, licking the soft skin of Shen Wei's neck. "Whatever you want, sweetheart." They never got to their underwear before things went off the rails a bit, so he'll have to rectify that now.

He starts kissing his way down Shen Wei's body, gently biting at his clavicle to hear the sharp intake of breath, swirling his tongue around a nipple as he cups Shen Wei through the fabric. "Yes," Shen Wei breathes. "Please," he says again.

Well, there had been a plan after all.

"You want my mouth on you?" Yunlan asks softly, looking up from where he's kissing Shen Wei's belly.

Shen Wei swallows, his neck arched back to expose the taut line of his throat, which Yunlan will take as a yes.

He carefully pulls the briefs down Shen Wei's legs, dropping them somewhere on the floor before he wraps his fingers around Shen Wei's flushed cock. "Let's see if I can get you to be a bit more vocal than this," he says, and then he licks up the length of it.

"Ah," Shen Wei says, which is a good start.

Yunlan closes his lips around the tip and sucks softly, stroking his palm over the velvety skin, his movements still light. He pulls off briefly just to say, "You can put your hands on me," and then he dives in again, taking him in deeper.

The noise Shen Wei makes is entirely gratifying, as are his tentative hands in Yunlan's hair.

"That's it," Yunlan says, before slowly licking his way from root to tip.

He glances up briefly to see Shen Wei staring down at him, his head raised off the pillow and his lips parted around an audible exhale. He's gripping Yunlan's hair a little tighter now, and Yunlan pushes up into his hands, turning into the touch.

"Enjoying the show?" he asks with a grin, then wraps his fingers around Shen Wei's cock again, stroking a few times before he closes his lips around the crown and sinks down, down.

"Oh," Shen Wei says, his head landing on the pillow with a soft thud as he arches up and then stills his hips, trying not to move too much. "Please don't stop."

Wasn't going to, Yunlan thinks, humming around his cock.

It takes a while until Shen Wei finally lets go, finally lets himself moan and tremble and grab a fistful of Yunlan's hair in warning. Yunlan greedily swallows it all, moaning at the first spurt of come in his mouth, his throat working until his eyes water, the sounds of Shen Wei's climax loud and beautiful in his ears, going straight to his dick.

He sits up to take a breath, a great lungful of air making him almost dizzy as he wipes his mouth, searching Shen Wei's face, taking in the sight of him. He's still catching his breath, his eyes closed and his face flushed all the way down to his chest, and his hands are restless against Yunlan, having slipped down to his shoulders.

Yunlan leans down to kiss Shen Wei's chest, pressing more soft kisses along his sternum. "Beautiful," he says, and Shen Wei finally opens his eyes. There's a smile on his lips, so Yunlan smiles back at him, helplessly.

"Yunlan," Shen Wei says carefully, this Shen Wei, this impossibly young Shen Wei who only ever knew him as somebody else. Yunlan stares down at him, frozen for a moment. Shen Wei frowns, a sudden uncertainty in his eyes, which finally gets Yunlan to move again.

"Yes," he says, leaning in to kiss him, whispering it into Shen Wei's mouth. "Xiao Wei, sweetheart." He stretches out half on top of him, one hand in his hair as he kisses his lips and his neck, nuzzles against his shoulder. His hips start moving against Shen Wei's thigh almost without his conscious input, and he groans as his cock finally finds some friction. Maybe he could come like this. He shifts to get a little more leverage and Shen Wei gasps and-- "Oh."

Well, that opens up some possibilities.

"You know," he says on a whim, kissing the tiny mole under Shen Wei's ear, "there's something I never got around to teaching you."

Shen Wei turns his head to the side with a soft sigh, making more room for Yunlan to carefully dig his teeth into his neck, then kiss the faint marks.

"Will you fuck me," he murmurs, pulling away to look at Shen Wei.

It's hard to tell how much of the wide-eyed surprise is an act and how much Shen Wei was truly unprepared for the request, but it doesn't matter. It's real enough. "You'll have to show me--" Shen Wei says, trailing off, and Yunlan kisses him before the act gets too much.

"You'll learn fast," he says, feeling Shen Wei smile against his lips.

He tears himself away for long enough to find the lube in the drawer, and then he's working himself open with a few practiced strokes of his fingers, Shen Wei's hands on his back and Shen Wei's tongue in his mouth.

"Now," he says, pulling away to catch his breath, spreading lube onto Shen Wei's cock. "Come on." He briefly considers riding Shen Wei like this, watching his face the whole time, but he wants to feel his strength, the boundless energy inside him, carefully contained in this beautiful, battle-trained body. "It's easier this way, if it's your first time," he says, directing Shen Wei to kneel behind him. "Just take it slow."

Shen Wei bends down to press his lips against Yunlan's spine, seemingly reluctant to lose contact for even a second, and then he's pushing inside, making a small noise as Yunlan opens up for him.

"Fuck, you are big," Yunlan says, because he figures this Shen Wei hasn't heard it enough from him. It still makes Shen Wei blush, anyway.

He stills, making Yunlan rock back against him impatiently. "Am I hurting you," he says, a trace of alarm in his soft voice.

"Fuck," Yunlan says again. This is really working for him. "No no," he adds quickly, "keep going, don't stop." He reaches behind himself to encourage Shen Wei closer, and then he can feel Shen Wei's hair tickling his back, and his breath against his skin, and his cock, finally sliding home.

"Oh," Shen Wei breathes.

"Keep moving, baby," Yunlan gets out, yanking the pillow away so he can press his face against the bedsheet underneath. "Fuck me." He opens his eyes just enough to find Shen Wei's hand on the mattress and wrap his fingers loosely around his wrist. "Come on, sweetheart, just do what feels good."

"Yunlan," Shen Wei says, a desperate edge to his voice, and then he's finally pulling out enough to thrust back in, and then again, and again, until a rhythm builds between them, the unfamiliar feeling of Shen Wei's hair brushing against his skin sending shivers all over Yunlan's body.

"Yes," he moans, his fingers sliding against Shen Wei's on the mattress. "That's perfect, you're perfect--"

There's another noise, and then something seems to shift, Shen Wei's hips stuttering and then thrusting against Yunlan harder; a staccato rhythm that punches the air out of Yunlan's lungs. It feels so good, it's exactly what he wanted, but Shen Wei is so quiet, like he's holding back all noise.

Yunlan worms his arm around to find the back of Shen Wei's head and pull him closer, until he can feel Shen Wei's open mouth sliding against his shoulder. "Baby," he says, in the space between breaths, "who are you angry at?"

Shen Wei slows down, restlessly moving against Yunlan, but not really thrusting anymore. His hair is falling around them like a curtain.

"Xiao Wei," Yunlan says softly. "I'm not going anywhere." He rocks back against Shen Wei, coaxing a small noise out of him. "Come on. Make me feel it. Show me I'm yours." The words are just tumbling out now, all the want and need inside him shaken loose by Shen Wei, moving against him like a wave. "Mark me," he says. "Bite me. Scratch me. Do whatever you want."

"Ah," Shen Wei gets out, his face pressed against Yunlan's back, and then his teeth are digging into Yunlan's shoulder, and his hips are snapping against his ass, and his hand is gripping Yunlan's side, hard.

"Yes," Yunlan hisses, "don't stop, don't stop, don't stop--"

"Mine," Shen Wei whispers, pushing his teeth into Yunlan's shoulder hard enough to hurt, making Yunlan cry out and clench around Shen Wei's cock, and that's it, he can feel Shen Wei coming, a cry pushed out of him before he goes very still, only his hips working through the crest.

Yunlan manages to get a hand on his cock, and he's been on edge for so long, he follows Shen Wei after a few rough tugs, Shen Wei still inside him, the marks on his shoulder still throbbing with heat.

It's perfect, it's so perfect he could cry.

Shen Wei carefully pulls out after a long moment, a tingle of dark energy taking care of the sticky mess between them, his hands gentle on Yunlan's sides. He's quiet, but it's a different quiet now.

Yunlan groans as he stretches out, feeling all his muscles and joints at once, collapsing onto his back with a heavy sigh. He looks up at Shen Wei, who's still kneeling beside him, the long hair gone, and some of the softness with it. The blush is still there.

"Come here," Yunlan says, and Shen Wei obeys. Yunlan winds his arms around him, kissing the side of his face, pushing his nose into his precise haircut. "I love you," he tells him, because he can't think of anything more important to say. Nothing more true.

"You'll laugh," Shen Wei says, muffled against Yunlan's shoulder. "But this was the plan for tonight."

Yunlan laughs, a helpless puff of breath into Shen Wei's hair, proving him right. "Cunning," he says, wrapping his arms tighter around him.

They can talk more later.

They have all the time.