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Talk Dirty To Me

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Love at first sight was fairy tale nonsense, and not something Bucky believed in, but lust at first sight? That was straight up primal, and not to be ignored. If given a chance, he would have acted upon it, and how. Except, that didn’t seem likely to happen, as the target of his newfound desire was very much taken.

The last thing Bucky wanted to do was make waves, especially not with their generous benefactor. Tony had been nothing but nice, and Pepper was amazing. Considering he spent a good bit of his free time daydreaming about all the ways in which he wanted to sexually devour Tony, it was hard not to feel guilty whenever she was around.

To be safe, he avoided alone time with Stark when possible, because it was painful, being on the receiving end of his devastating smiles, or being the focus of his considerable attention. Bucky was terrified he might blurt something, like, “Thanks for the upgrade. By the way, when you smile it makes me want to rip off all of my clothes and offer myself up to you.”

Tony was gorgeous. He was snarky, and the smartest person Bucky had ever met, and just… it was difficult to cope with all the ways in which Bucky wanted him. He was smitten, and knew it. He needed to learn to deal with it, though, because Tony wasn’t single, was into women, and was a team member to boot.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek as he watched Tony kiss Pepper goodbye, telling his libido to go on and try out dormancy again, like with a quickness, because it’d picked one hell of a target for its comeback tour.

Being the kind of person he was now, Bucky had crossed happy endings, fairness, and a whole mess of other things off of his list of beliefs since HYDRA got their hooks in him. Shoving the disappointment down wasn’t even that hard. He’d had plenty of practice. It was just…

“What a shame,” he sighed in Russian as Tony walked past, giving them a wave over his shoulder as he headed into the kitchen. “The things I would do to that ass.”

Natasha hung her head, groaning softly.

“Sorry, sorry,” Bucky muttered. “Venting helps. It’s healthy. I say it to you, and then I don’t do anything stupid.”

Tony wandered back into the room, eyes half closed as he sipped from a steaming mug, groaning in delight over the coffee. Bucky shifted uncomfortably, the sound going straight to his groin.

“Why is he allowed to make noises like that? Not fair,” Bucky let his head tip back to rest against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “I want to make him moan.”

“Of course you do,” Natasha said, and Bucky could hear her rolling her eyes.

“Uhh, so, um,” Tony stammered, coughing into his mug. “What’s up?”

“Just waiting for Steve to finish up a debriefing,” Natasha answered, while in Russian Bucky replied with, “My dick, for you.” She elbowed him in the side. “I speak only the truth. Look at him, all rumpled, and gorgeous.”

“Dont’ be rude,” Natasha ordered, digging her fingers into Bucky’s thigh.

“Erection dying,” he hissed, swatting at her hand. He switched into English. “Hey, Tony. Sorry. What’s new?”

Tony stared at him for a moment, then took another sip of his coffee. “Not much. I was gonna catch up on Dog Cops, any takers?”

“Definitely,” Bucky answered, adding in quiet Russian, “I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

“Great, I’ll just,” he motioned to the TV. “JARVIS, want to let Clint know?”

And they settled down to watch, Bucky grateful when Clint showed up, and wedged himself onto the couch, which in turn caused Tony to be pressed against Bucky’s side.

It was as wondrous as it was torturous. He could feel the heat coming off of Tony’s body, could smell him, and it took a great deal of self control from trying to get a taste of Tony to round out the package.

“Why does he have to smell so good?” Bucky asked Natasha quietly.


Bucky dropped his head onto her shoulder, snuggled up against her side. “Think if Steve joins us I can convince this one to sit on my lap?”

Natasha flicked his ear. “Behave.”

“I am behaving,” he whispered. “If I wasn’t behaving I’d have my hand down his pants right now.”

“Dog Cops is sacred,” Clint shouted, throwing a pillow. “No talking.”

So Bucky shut up, and tried to watch the show, his imagination attempting to convince him that Tony was pressing his thigh against Bucky’s own as they sat there. Stupid imagination.


It was an awful habit, but one he seemed unable to break himself of. If Natasha was there, and Tony appeared, his dirty stream of consciousness would kick in whether he wanted it to or not.

“Do you think he likes spanking?”

“Not this again,” Tasha groaned.

“His ass is just so perfect, I wanna bend him over my knee and smack his bare bottom until it’s all pink, then lick him all over, and…”


“Hey, Tony. I’m making cookies. Chocolate chip, or oatmeal raisin?”

Tony propped his elbows on the counter as he waited for the coffee pot to do its thing, his perky bottom swaying back and forth.

“Not fair,” Bucky sighed. “Wanna grab those hips and just grind on him.”

Tony grinned over his shoulder. “Why not go with oatmeal raisin chocolate chip?”

"I like your solution,” Bucky said.

He headed over to the cabinets to gather the ingredients, his breath catching in his throat when Tony shifted, and brushed against him. Blood shot to his groin, and it was all he could do not to groan embarrassingly.

“Sorry,” Tony said innocently enough, probably not realizing the way Bucky’s body had responded.

“No problem.”

That night, he came in record time, his fist stroking chaotically as he thought about bending Tony over the kitchen counter and fucking him until he came hard enough to scream.


“He looks sad today,” Bucky said in Russian. “And tired. He works too hard.”

“So go cheer him up?” Natasha suggested. She seemed relieved Bucky was keeping the dirty talk to a minimum.

“He doesn’t need me bothering him,” Bucky sighed.

“Nonsense. You’re his friend, yes?”

“I hope so,” he answered. “I think of him as my friend, anyway.”

Tony helped himself to another sip of scotch, and waved them over. “C’mon, Cold War, don’t just mutter in Russian. Come join the party.”

“You don’t look like you’re celebrating.”

Bucky accepted the glass Tony offered, settling down on the stool beside him.

“Nat?” Tony asked.

Natasha waved. “I’ve got a thing with Sam and Steve. Enjoy yourselves.”

It was awkwardly quiet for a moment, before Tony sighed, and emptied his glass. “Today sucks.”

“I’m not that good with being cheery these days,” Bucky said after a moment, “but I remember some good stories about your dad from way back when, if you wanna hear them.”

Tony arched an eyebrow, jaw tightening. “Does he get punched in any of them?”

“Actually, yeah, in most of them.” Bucky took a sip of his drink. “That’s what makes them good.”

To his surprise, Tony tipped his head back and roared with laughter, then poured them each another round. “Okay, you’ve got my attention.”

And so he spent the next few hours sharing war stories, coaxing more and more laughter out of Tony, eventually getting him to abandon the bar for some coffee on the couch.

It was a pretty good feeling, getting to make Tony smile. He wanted to do it more often.


“How could she just give him up?” Bucky asked, anger and disbelief warring in his voice. “I’d fight a fucking war for the chance to have him look at me with even a fraction of the love he has in his eyes when looking at her.”

Natasha took pity on him and scratched his back. “She has her reasons, I’m sure.”

“I know. It just sucks, seeing him look so wrecked.”

“So be a good friend. Help him get over it.”

Bucky sighed. Tony gave him a halfhearted smile from his spot by the window. “Yeah. I can do that.”


Bucky was pleasantly surprised that Tony tolerated his attention.

He brought him coffee at all hours, invented problems with the arm to help distract Tony from Pepper’s absence, drug him out of the workshop and made him play video games with him, Clint, and Steve.

He made it his mission to be around whenever Tony would let him be.

They had a standing date to watch Dog Cops together, he convinced Tony to sneak out to the movies with him, to have shitty diner coffee and donuts at the place around the corner at two in the morning, when neither of them could sleep.

It was wonderful, getting to spend so much time together, but it was also a bit nightmarish. Bucky had been fooling himself that his feelings for Tony were purely physical in nature, but there was no way to pretend this was just lust, not anymore.

Every single day was an awful blend of better and worse, and Bucky had no idea what to do about it.


“I look in his eyes sometimes and it feels like my heart stops,” Bucky told Natasha as Tony walked into the room. “Then he smiles and it kicks into overdrive.”

“Tell him how you feel.”

Bucky shook his head. “He’s straight. Besides, he could do way better than me.”

"You’re not so bad,” she insisted. “Except for all the stupid.”

“He likes me as a friend. It’s not his fault I’m a lovesick idiot,” he said, switching to English. “Hey Tony.”

“Hey yourself.” Tony plopped down on the couch. “You two seem pretty serious.”

“Just seriously crazy about you,” Bucky muttered.

Natasha cursed under her breath, and slapped her palms down against her thighs. “Tony, I can’t take it anymore. Talk some sense into this moron.”

Only, she said it in Russian. And Tony answered her. In Russian.

“Wait, this isn’t a weird ‘fuck with Tony’ thing?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“You speak Russian?” Bucky screamed in Russian.

“Well, yeah. When a Russian tries to kill you, learning the language seems like a no brainer.”

Bucky felt like he was going to hyperventilate. He grabbed his head, folding over with his elbows on his knees, groaning. “So you’ve understood. The entire time?”

There was a strange squeaking noise, which prompted Bucky to look up. Tony’s eyes slowly widened, his jaw dropping. “You were serious the entire time?”

Natasha smacked them both on the backs of their heads. “He’s not straight, he’s bi,” she announced, pointing at Tony, “and he’s not playing a prank on you,” she added, pointing at Bucky.

With this said, she beat a hasty retreat, leaving the two of them staring at each other in awkward silence.

“So, when you said you could die happy choking on my dick?”

Bucky felt his face flush, and hung his head again, fingers digging into his scalp. “Serious,” he admitted quietly.

He could feel Tony shifting around on the couch, and then there was a warm hand on his back, moving up and down slowly. “And, uh. The bit about, um. How just hearing my voice made you feel better when you were having a rough day?”

Bucky sighed, curled a little tighter in on himself. “Yup.”

Tony stroked down his back, hand sliding around to rest against Bucky’s side, so he was half embracing him. The warm body next to him shifted closer, and Tony rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. “And the part about how you’d never leave me, if we were together?”

With another sigh, Bucky shook his head. “Yeah, Tony. Anything you heard? That was the truth.”

Tony squeezed him, wriggling until he could get his mouth closer to Bucky’s ear. “Good,” he said softly in Russian. “Those were some of my favorite parts.”

Bucky sat up a bit, eyes wide. “What?”

“And, ah, the spanking sounded kind of fun, too.” Tony was the one blushing this time.

Bucky blinked. “Yeah?” Tony shrugged, and nodded, looking sheepish and nervous. Bucky licked his lips, placed a hand on Tony’s knee, waited. Tony covered it with his, fingers wiggling between Bucky’s own.

“Uh, I’ve been thinking about you, too,” Tony admitted. “How after Pepper left, you went out of your way to cheer me up. And, you know. There’s the whole incredibly sexy aspect.”

Bucky laughed at this, shifted closer. “Yeah?”

“The mouth on you,” Tony groaned, reaching for him, and so Bucky had to meet him halfway, kiss him, then kiss him again, until they were tangled together on the couch, panting and grasping.

“So, this is a thing now?” Bucky asked, mouthing the Russian against Tony’s skin. The body in his arms shuddered. “An all the time thing?”

“Definitely,” Tony answered with a kiss. “But, I’ll admit, I’m gonna miss the dirty talk. It was incredibly hot.”

Bucky grinned slowly, licked up the side of Tony’s neck. “Well, nothing says that has to stop.”


Bucky smiled when Tony walked in the room. “Hey, want any coffee?”

“I’m good,” Bucky answered, tilting his chin up so Tony could give him a quick kiss. His smile grew as he watched Tony head into the kitchen.

“The things I do to that ass,” he said loudly to Natasha in Russian.