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Wong Yukhei's Guide to Getting Vampire Boyfriends

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Posted on: 5th Feb 2022

Yukhei enters the cafe, his heart beating fast in both nervousness and excitement. Why? Well, Yukhei was on his first-ever blind date (technically it's not a blind date since he knows Mark but doesn't like know know him but yeah whatever who cares?). One of his friends, Jaehyun, had set it up for him saying that Mark had been begging him for this. So here Yukhei was walking towards a familiar head of pink hair sitting at a table in the corner.

"Hey, Mark!"

Mark instantly stood up, scrunching his nose for a second before grinning at Yukhei as he pulled his chair out for him like a true gentleman, Yukhei did not know that Mark could move at such a great speed, "Hey, Yukhei. Come sit."

Yukhei tries his best to not blush at Mark's behavior and offers him a mumbled thank you and settles down on his chair and is yet again a bit surprised at how Mark was seated on his own chair in a blink.

"So, I hope you found the cafe without any difficulty."

Yukhei hummed, "Oh yes, I did. The cafe was pretty easy to spot. Um, do you wanna order some food?"

Yukhei nodded and instantly waved over a waiter and ordered a red tea with a maroon velvet cake. What the fuck was a maroon velvet cake and a red tea? All Yukhei had heard of was green tea and red velvet cake. Nevertheless, Yukhei chose to ignore the weird food items and quickly ordered 2 donuts and a milkshake for himself, smiling politely at their waiter, Chenle, as he'd introduced himself.

"Well, Jaehyun did set us up on this date. How did you meet him?" asked Yukhei, hoping that the question was good enough to start their date.

Mark perked up, "Oh yes! It's been a long time since I met Jae but I still remember how we met. Those times weren't really kind to my kind and I was starving. I was on the verge of giving in to my hunger but Jaehyun being the angel he actually is showed up in the nick of time and saved me. I'm forever indebted to him."

"Well I did not know about that and I'm glad Jae was there to help you out. I met him in a very cliche way, to be honest. I might've bumped into him really hard on my way to class on the very first day of college and ended up falling on him which, first, spilled my hot coffee on myself and, second, broke his arm. I'd been so terrified and I literally burst out crying when I finally got him to the hospital and they told us that he had broken his arm. But like you said. Jaehyun is an angel and he ended up comforting me even though he was in a lot of pain. After that, we just became best friends."

Mark smiled at the story just as Chenle came back to their table with a tray.

"Here's the red tea and maroon velvet cake for Mr. Fangy right here and 2 tasty as fuck donuts and a chocolatey milkshake for Cutiepie here."

"Why Fangy?" asked Yukhei, staring curiously at Chenle.

Chenle scrunched up his nose and shrugged, "Because he has fangs?"

Yukhei's eyes widened as he turned to Mark, "You have fangs?"

Mark nodded with slight reluctance, not sure whether Yukhei's reaction was the good kind or the bad kind.

"Oh my god!" squealed Yukhei. "Can I see them? Please? Wait it's okay if you don't want to show them to me. I mean you might be insecure about them or not, well i don't know. If it makes you feel better, my Uncle also had fangs and I honestly found them really cute. The others who teased him about it weren't nice and I honestly didn't like them. I would've punched them for doing that but then it wouldn't have been a good thing because I was like 10 so I wouldn't even be able to reach their faces and even if I did manage to, I don't think I would be able to punch them with proper force as I can do now-"

Mark broke out into laughter as he stopped Yukhei, "Hey, hey. No worries. And it does make me feel better to know your opinion about fangs, I might have been a tad bit insecure a while back but I'm still glad. Would you punch someone if they made fun of my fangs?"

Yukhei nodded furiously, a determined look on his face, "Ofcourse! I will punch them with as much force as I can muster up even if it's not much and I end up breaking my hand!"

Mark hummed, "You don't need to break your hand but I appreciate it. Also here's my fangs."

Yukhei was surprised by how sharp Mark's fangs looked. God, it must be so easy for him to have the best Halloween costume every year. With those fangs he could easily be the best vampire, also the fact that he plays into the 'vampires are handsome and charming' stereotype.

"They're much sharper than my Uncle's but that's so cool!"

Mark giggled (oh my fucking god Yukhei just fell in love. Wait, can you even fall in love with someone because of how cute their giggle is?), "Thank you! So, do you cook?"

"Well, I'm not sure if I cook, no wait. I do cook but I'm sure if what I cook is good or not. My best friend, Ten, is always the one who my cooking and I think he's a little biased when he gives me a review. How about you?"

"I cook and I'm proud to say that I'm good at it. My food is always edible and tasty, it's just the shape and presentation of the food that makes it look bad."

Yukhei burst out into laughter at the sheepish look on Mark's face, "The shape doesn't matter, so no worries! Also now that we're talking about cooking and food, is there anything you hate in particular?"

Mark nodded instantly, "Oh yes. I absolutely despise garlic and pineapples on pizza!"

"Okay, I agree with hating garlic because it's pretty strong and oh god the aftertaste. It just doesn't go no matter how many times I brush my teeth and it's so annoying. But pineapples on pizza are really tasty so why in the world would you hate it? I mean you're missing out on something amazing!"

Mark sighed, "You're absolutely on point with garlic but pineapples on pizza are just weird and not tasty. Pineapples are fruits. Why in the world would you put fruit on pizza? Also, the fact that pineapple is sweet and pizza is savory. Ofcourse there are recipes that have both sweet and savory together but pineapples on pizza is a no."

Yukhei narrowed his eyes at Mark, staring at him for a few seconds before sighing, "Fine! You're lucky that my like for you is more than my hate for someone who hates pineapples on pizza!

Mark grinned, "I'm glad that you like me. Next question! Are you a night owl or an early bird?"

"A night owl for sure. I'd rather stay up the whole night than wake up in the morning, unfortunately, things don't work that way so I'm sleep deprived more than half of the time."

Mark laughed and nodded in agreement, "I get that. It's really difficult to wake up early after the years I spent staying up at night-"

Mark suddenly paused, glaring at something behind Yukhei, "Do you know that guy, Yukhei?"

Yukhei made a confused noise and turned around to spot a familiar face and nodded to Mark, "Oh yes! That's Ten."

It was as if Ten could hear every word Yukhei was saying, a smile appeared on his face as he made his way towards Yukhei and Mark. Yukhei grinned at his best friend, not noticing the scowl on Mark's face as Ten slid into the seat beside Yukhei.

"Hey, sweetcheeks. Who's this?" asked Ten, something mischievously threatening in his eyes as he stared at Mark.

Yukhei grinned as he introduced the two of them to each other, "Ten, this is my date Mark and Mark this is my best friend cum roommate Ten!"

"Nice to meet you, Lee."

"I can't say the same, Leechai-" This time Yukhei noticed the way Mark stiffened up and glared at Ten just to sigh, "-unfortunately, your surname is too long for me to follow the indirectly threatening thing, Ten."

Yukhei frowned in confusion as Ten continued, "You? Threatening me? What a joke. Did you forget that the Leechaiyapornkuls have been around for much much longer than you and the Lees have?"

Mark huffed, "As expected from the Leechaiyapornkuls, using the clan to establish power. You should try and live in the current world, Ten. Clans don't mean much here, at least not in Seoul. You wanna try and threaten me? Do it by yourself and not with your clan."

Ten narrowed his eyes at Mark, "I can very much do that. However, my main issue right now is you being here with Yukhei. Why are you here? Do you not realize that you're in the wrong territory?"

"My nose works perfectly well. You're lucky that the others here can't smell it or else I'm sure the cafe would be empty right now with how you've scented him. He reeks of you so I'm well aware of the claim you're trying to make but don't worry. I'm not the kind to give up easily. I hope you can leave now so that I and Yukhei can go on with our very fun and enjoyable date. Right, Yukhei?"

Yukhei made a confused noise as he turned to Mark and shrugged, "Uh, sure I guess? Like I'm not gonna lie but whatever this thing is that the two of you've got going is very confusing. I'm not able to understand anything and-"

"Well, sweetcheeks, you don't have to worry about it. As a matter of fact, your date just ended. Let's go back to the dorm. I must say that this one is not the kind you wanna stay around. After all, the Lees have a very typical history." said Ten, moving to stand up as Mark slammed his hands on the table, seemingly having had enough of Ten.

"That's fucking enough! How many times do we have to say that it was an honest mistake? We'd meant to send those cupcakes to the Dejuns?"

Ten huffed, "A mistake? Bitch you sent us a dozen cupcakes filled with garlic! I suffered for a whole week! Do you know how bad it is to get diarrhea? What about the second time you pulled this shit? You sent us sorry cookies which were again filled with garlic! A mistake happens once not twice!"

"Oh ho, look who's talking! You brought those cookies upon yourself! Even after we apologized for the cupcakes, you had to-"

"Hey, what's up with those two?"

Yukhei flinched at the whisper near his ear and turned to see Chenle staring at Ten and Mark fighting while he was bent down beside Yukhei's chair. "What are they fighting about? You? I mean I can see that happening 'cause you're, ignore my language, hot as fuck. Hell, I'd fight someone for you if these two weren't fighting for you. But then I would've fought because I would not mind adding a third to my relationship. I'm nice though so I'll let these two fight for you."

"I'm sorry but what?" Yukhei blinked at Chenle in utter confusion because why the fuck would Mark and Ten fight about him?

Chenle sighed and rolled his eyes, "Okay, listen to me, cutie-pie, I know everything-"

"No one can know everything."

"Ugh. How do I get this through your thick head?" groaned Chenle. "I'm a blessed empath. I can feel what people around me are feeling. The blessed part lets me feel in detail. So when I say your fangies are fighting each other out of jealousy because they both like you, I know that I'm right."

"Wait a minute." Yukhei'seyes widened. "Ten has fangs too?"

Chenle groaned, "Bitch, after everything I said, the only thing you pick up is fangs?"

Yukhei waved Chenle off and turned to Mark and Ten who were still somehow fighting without running out of words.

"Ten! I didn't know you had fangs too?"

Ten froze, "Who the fuck told you I have fangs?"

"Chenle did. Mark has fangs too! How about you two stop fighting about these garlic cookies and cupcakes, i mean why would someone in their right mind put garlic in sweet things but everyone has a different taste so whatever, but back to the main point. The two of you should stop fighting and bond over your fangs! Can I see yours too Ten? I saw Mark's. They're really cool!"

"You showed him your fangs?" exclaims Ten, eyes wide as he stares at Mark with an incredulous expression.

Mark shrugged, "As I said, we're not that old-school. Humans are fine. I wouldn't go off showing my fangs off to my own kind though."

"Wait, so Yukhei knows what you are?"

"Probably yes?"

"PROBABLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

Yukhei sighed, "What am I supposed to know, Ten? That the two of you have fangs?"

Chenle stood up as he turned to Ten with a sigh, "Is he this dumb every day?"

Ten shrugged, "It's a part of his charm. I don't understand how he still hasn't figured out what we are."

"I'll do you a favor then."

"Thank you, Chenle," said Mark.

"Yukhei, your love interests here are vampires. Do you get me? The creatures that suck blood with those sharp little fangies in their mouths, don't age, are pretty charming, and can't tell cuties like you that they're vampires and just assume you know."

Yukhei paused for a second. He had totally forgotten about magical creatures. Everything made so much sense now. The garlic cookies and cupcakes. Jaehyun being an angel-

"Mark, when you said Jaehyun is an angel did you mean he's a literal angel?" Yukhei's eyes widened when Mark nodded. "Oh my god, does he have wings? Or, oh my god, a halo? Wait I haven't seen a halo-"

"Sweetcheeks, can we talk about Jaehyun's halo later and focus on the fact that you have two vampires who like you?"

"You like me too, Ten?"

Ten winced as he realized what he'd spoken and nodded, "I do but as much as I'm not fond of Lee I won't stop you from choosing him if he's the one you truly like."

Yukhei frowned as Mark added, "Same goes for me."

"Uh, I'm not really the sad endings type, like I'm not gonna leave one of you to pine and stay in a one-sided love forever. I'd rather have two vampire boyfriends if you two don't mind sharing. I mean I think vampires are territorial? I'm not sure but if you two are against sharing maybe the two of you can compete? Oh! You both can take turns sucking my blood, the best sucker wins?"

"Okay, first of all. No blood sucking. Second of all, I'm willing to give the three-way thing a try. I'll give you a chance, Lee. What do you say?"

Mark shrugged, "I'm down for it but on one condition. I get first dibs on taking both of you out on dates, both individually and together."

Ten shrugged, "That's fine by me."

Chenle smiled, "Now that this is solved, I'm gonna leave. Don't forget to leave me a good tip for the help! Bye-bye!"

And as the three of them made their way out of the cafe (after leaving Chenle a good tip ofcourse), Yukhei felt excited at the prospect of having two boyfriends and that was enough.

We can just ignore the part where Yukhei never thought of Ten and Mark having a relationship with each other. But if they wanted to do that, Yukhei was more than happy to watch.