Work Header

Resolutions Are For The Weak

Chapter Text

"So, what's your New Year's resolution, Sam?" Jared asked, putting his feet up on the coffee table and tilting his head back to look at Sam, who was dusting the top of the bookshelf because his imprint was too short to reach it.

Sam shrugged absentmindedly and continued dusting. "I don't have any."

"Resolutions are for the weak," Paul said with a scoff. "That's why I just do whatever I want any day of the year."

"But it's a tradition! You have to have at least one New Year's resolution," Jared argued, still looking at Sam. "Come on, bossman! Join in on the fun."

"Get your feet off the table before Emily sees you," Sam grumbled, placing the duster down and walking over to the couch. He smacked Jared's head when Jared only stuck his tongue out at him. "I mean it, Jared. Emily better not see your feet up or else."

"Aww, fine," Jared grumbled, but he did lower his feet to the ground.

Just then, Emily arrived with a tray of muffins in her hand, Bella right behind her. Emily smiled and said, "What are you guys talking about?"

Paul swooped in and grabbed a muffin before anyone else could. Jared shot him a glare but grabbed a couple just to taunt Paul. Bella rolled her eyes and went to sit beside Paul, who dragged her onto his lap and began feeding her his muffin by tearing it into bite-sized pieces.

Sam sighed and said, "Jared wants me to make a New Year's resolution because he claims it's a tradition."

"But it is!" Jared cried, sitting up straighter. "Sure, a lot of people give up on their resolutions by the end of the first week—the stronger ones last about a month—but it's the thought of failing together that counts."

"That's ridiculous and has no logic," Paul scoffed, rolling his eyes. He ran his fingers down Bella's back and grinned deviously when his imprint arched into his touch.

"It's tradition—it doesn't need to be logical," Jared said with a grin. "We all have to have at least one resolution."

"What's yours?" Bella asked and grimaced when Jared's eyes lit up with excitement. "No, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"But you already asked," Jared said excitedly. He rubbed his hands gleefully and answered her, "My first resolution is to host a ballet-themed party at my place where my selected cast will perform Swan Lake—"

"Forget I asked," Bella said loudly, but Jared ignored her and went on.

"Then, my second one is to learn ten curses in ten different languages so I can swear at you all in my head and you won't understand a word I say."

"No one cares," Paul grumbled, glaring at Jared, but he ignored him and continued speaking.

"Then, my third resolution is to help old ladies cross the street."

"I have a bad feeling about this last one, and all my instincts tell me not to ask, but… why?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Oh, I'm going to help the old women cross the street before Quil pops out of the forest in his wolf form and then I'll have a dramatic battle with him—"

"You'll give the old woman a heart attack," Emily cried out, clasping her hands over her mouth. "Jared, no! You can't do that!"

"I swear, Jared, if you try something like that, I'm going to—"

Jared interrupted Sam quickly. "Oh, don't worry, boss. We're only doing this to impress the old women so they can boast about the brave young man who saved them from dying a horrible death—

"That is if they don't die of a heart attack when they see a huge ass wolf," Paul interrupted smoothly.

"—and then they'll tell their hot granddaughters or daughters, who will throw themselves at our feet!"

"Hang on, I'm going to call Kim," Bella said, about to get up from Paul's lap.

Jared cried out, "No! Don't! I'm not going to impress the ladies—Quil will!"

"But if you fight the wolf, won't the old woman think you're the hero who saved her?" Bella asked pointedly.

Jared grimaced. "I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that."

"Alright, Hagrid," Bella said, leaning over to pat Jared's knee. She looked over at Emily. "Do you have any resolutions?"

"I'm planning on cooking something new every week," Emily said, tapping her chin. "Try out some new cuisine."

"That's a good resolution," Sam said immediately. "The pack can be your taste-testers."

"I'm pretty sure I saw Brady eating mud with Quil last week," Bella said cautiously. "So they'll probably eat anything you make—no matter how bad it is."

Emily laughed and nodded. "That's true. What are you going to do?"

Bella pursed her lips and leaned back on Paul's lap, resting her head on his collarbone as she thought of an answer. "I haven't decided yet, but maybe—"

"Resolutions are for the weak, babe," Paul reminded her, but she simply patted his forearm and continued thinking.

"Maybe I'll read a hundred books this year," Bella mused out loud. "Or maybe I'll make a movie bucket list to watch with the boys."

"As long as the movies have a lot of violence in them, I'm game," Paul said with a shrug.

Bella laughed and turned her head to kiss his jaw. "Of course, Paul. I can't force you to watch reruns of Hallmark movies, can I?"

"You probably could," Jared teased, smirking at Paul. "After all, Paul turns into an adorable little puppy when it comes to you. He's so whipped!"

Paul growled at Jared and dropped Bella on the couch before leaping to his feet. He snarled, "Wanna say that again, fucker?"

"Whipped! Adorable! Puppy!" Jared howled, jumping off the couch and sprinting for the door, Paul hot on his heels.

A second later, the sound of clothes ripping as the boys phased resonated through the house, and Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know what my New Year's resolution is going to be."

"What?" Emily and Bella asked in unison.

"I'm going to change the patrolling schedule for everyone so that the usual pairings don't get too used to each other. Also, maybe if I don't pair Paul with Jared during patrols, Paul won't try to kill Jared every single day," Sam announced.

Emily and Bella shared a look before bursting into peals of laughter. Bella wiped the tears of mirth away and said, "That's a good one, Sam."

"But it will never work," Emily said, shaking her head.

"I'll make it work, damn it," Sam muttered under his breath, already planning on shuffling the order.

"Paul will always want to kill Jared one way or the other," Bella said with a shrug. "It's just who he is."

"Well, I won't be pairing him with Jared for the next week's patrol, so he can find someone else to kill," Sam declared.

Bella and Emily only shook their heads, amused by Sam's declaration.