“Moony, my love, I am so happy we can’t get married.”
Remus snapped his head up, nearly dropping the book he was reading as he processed the unexpected sentence from his boyfriend. Remus tried to compose himself before he responded.
“And why is that?” Hopefully my voice came off casual enough.
“Because planning a bloody wedding is ridiculous! Who cares what flowers go together, or how the napkins should be folded, or who should sit at which table! It’s a bloody nightmare and I’m only the best man. I don’t want to know what being the groom is like, especially if the bride is Lillian Almost-Potter.” He sighs and dramatically falls backwards onto the sofa with his feet dangling off the armrest, remembering the impassioned rant Remus went on not a fortnight ago about keeping his boots off the furniture (“I don’t care how punk you are, Sirius, but having to buy new furniture isn’t punk in my opinion”).
Remus’ heartbeat settled down and his stomach stopped roiling as Sirius moaned about the banality of wedding planning and how scary Lily can be. It’s not that Sirius didn’t want to get married, he just didn’t want a wedding, which was completely different (he hoped), because Remus was a romantic and very much wished they could get married, but the wizarding world was no more progressive than the Muggle world in this regard, so “boyfriends” it would have to remain.
Sirius toed off his boots and scooted his way up the sofa until his head was on Remus’ lap and pushed the book out of the way, ensuring all of Remus’ attention was focused directly on him. Little did he know that it took very little effort for Sirius to capture all of Remus’ attention.
As Sirius snuggled down into his lap, Remus started absently carding his fingers through his hair. It was soft and slightly mussed from his motorcycle helmet.
“Why didn’t you just apparate to their apartment, or use the Floo? We’re connected per your insistence.”
“What, and leave Minnie to rust on the sidewalk? That’s harsh, Lupin, even for you.”
Sirius purchased a Muggle motorcycle not long after graduation and had enchanted it to fly, much to James’ excitement and Remus’ disapproval. Remus made him get a Muggle license and swear to always wear a helmet before he felt comfortable letting him loose on the streets of London. He refused to acknowledge any magical enhancements made to the bike, hoping “plausible deniability” would be enough to keep him out of trouble when Sirius was inevitably caught by a Muggle and got the Ministry involved.
“I can’t believe you named your motorcycle after McGonagall,” Remus poked Sirius in the side where he knew he was most ticklish (“I’m not ticklish, Moony, that isn’t punk rock!”) and he jerked his body so hard he landed on the floor in front of the sofa, sending Remus into a fit of laughter.
After righting himself and fixing his hair, Sirius responded with a huff. “Well she is the most important woman in my life, it only feels right to memorialize our relationship to keep it alive after we’ve gone. I can’t drive her ‘round the bend at school, so I’ll do it on the road!”
“Oh, so the most important woman in your life gets something equally as important named after her but what about the most important man in your life? Hmm?”
“Moonbeam,” Sirius said softly as he climbed back onto the sofa and into Remus’ lap, “there isn’t anything in the world I’d give your name to because nothing comes close to how wonderful you are.”
At this, Remus melted. He pulled Sirius in for a kiss, communicating the depth of his love and adoration for the man better than any words ever could. Sirius could be loud and brash and a downright prat at times, but these soft moments with Remus were just as much a part of him as the loud parts, and he loved it. They were secret parts for him, and him alone, to see.
After more than a few minutes passed by, Sirius broke their kiss and pressed their foreheads together, looking at Remus through his lashes.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of kissing you,” he says with a smile that’s mirrored on Remus’ face.
“I sure hope not.”
On James and Lily’s wedding day, Remus doesn’t think he’s ever felt more love in one room. The bride and groom radiated love, anyone could see it. The love Sirius and Mary poured into their speeches was unmatched by any wedding speech Remus had heard before. Monty and Effie could be caught either hugging each other, James, Lily, or a combination of all three throughout the night, overflowing with love for their son and new daughter-in-law.
All of these displays of love were magnificent and special, but none so much so as the way Sirius looked at Remus as they twirled and swayed on the dance floor.
“Moony, did you enjoy the day?” Sirius suddenly asks as he brings Remus back in from a twirl.
“Yes Pads, I had a lovely time. Besides, any time I get to see you in your dress robes is a good time, rivaled only by the times I get to take your dress robes off .” Remus swore he saw a blush creeping over Sirius’ cheeks, but it could be the wine.
“No, I mean not just the dancing and the wine and me, the whole affair.”
Remus considered the question for a moment before answering.
“I did. I can be a bit of a romantic, as you know, and I’ve always loved the idea of a wedding even though I knew I’d never get one. Who wouldn’t want this, though? To be surrounded by your friends and family, everyone you hold dear, telling the world ‘this person is who I choose to spend my forever with, and I want everyone to know’, then have a party with dancing and drinks? That sounds like a good time to me. Especially if there’s chocolate cake.”
The music picked up in tempo and they made their way off the dance floor to get more drinks and a slice of chocolate cake to share. As they sat down at their table, Marlene and Dorcas plopped down across from them.
“Marls, Dorcas, you both look stunning tonight.”
“Sirius, you charmer, what can we do for you?”
Dorcas and Remus rolled their eyes in unison as their respective partners began their playful banter. During fourth year the two had dated for a whopping two weeks before simultaneously coming out to each other and subsequently becoming a power duo nobody saw coming, fiercely protecting younger queer couples from bigoted bullies. Individually, Sirius and Marlene were talented. Together, they made even the most competent seventh year run for the hills.
“Why, only to twirl you around the dance floor and make everyone jealous that the two second-best looking people in the room are taken.” He said, sending a wink at Remus and Dorcas.
“Well, since you asked so nicely…”
As they took off, they each turned around and blew a kiss at their partners before dazzling the guests with their natural talent and electrifying chemistry, sliding from fast jazzy moves to a slower paced waltz.
“Marlene, do you wish you could get married?” Sirius asks, knowing only she would get the unique situation he was in. As much as James wanted to help, sometimes he just couldn’t get it.
“If this is a proposal, it’s a shite time for it. First off we’re both queer, second we’re both taken, and third, but most importantly, you don’t propose at a wedding!” She laughed as Sirius spun her around and rolled his eyes.
“Marls, please, humor me?”
“Do I wish I could get married to go through this sodding circus? No. Do I wish I could hold Dorcas’ hand when we walk down the street or kiss her in public without people crossing the street? Absolutely. I thought you felt the same way, what’s changed?”
“I dunno. I have always felt the same way, you’re right. But Remus made a good point about it - it’s not about the ‘sodding circus’, it’s about the public declaration of love and wanting everyone to know ‘this person belongs to me, and I to them’, which is quite romantic when you think about it.”
At Remus’ name Marlene looked up at Sirius and saw a slow, genuine smile form on his face as he elaborated. She knew he still didn’t give two shits about the institution of marriage, but if they could and Remus wanted to get married? He’d do it in a heartbeat. There is literally nothing he wouldn’t do for that man, is there?
It was Harry’s first birthday party and Sirius was hiding in the pantry.
“Moony, what if it’s not good enough?”
“Pads, love, he’s one. He won’t remember anything. It could be a spectacular failure and he literally would never remember.”
“But that means he also won’t remember if it’s perfect!” Sirius slumped down the wall, head resting on his knees that were drawn up tight to his chest.
“Okay, bad approach to take, I’ll admit it. Regardless of how it goes, Prongslet will feel the love and happiness and all the energy you put into it, so even if it’s bad he won’t know because you’ll be having a great time and so, so happy. There’s a Muggle saying about this: fake it ‘til you make it. Just go and it’ll all be okay. I promise.” Remus stood up and held out his hand to help Sirius off the floor. “And we have to get out there, like, ten minutes ago. James is going to insinuate we’ve been shagging and I don’t think you want to get into that on your godson’s birthday.”
Sirius took his hand and hauled himself off the floor and dusted himself off. He pressed a quick yet passionate kiss to Remus’ mouth and opened the pantry door to find a waiting James and Pete, holding a charmed polaroid camera and snapping a picture.
As the picture printed out there was a scramble for who got to keep it, Sirius winning by distracting James with a “is that Harry by the stove?!”, grabbing the polaroid, and turning into Padfoot to run out into the back garden. The trio came to an unspoken agreement years ago that running after a transformed Padfoot was not only futile, but a bit embarrassing. Sirius gave up and returned whatever he stole far quicker if you “gave up” (stopped paying attention to him) and went about your business. Remus was secretly happy he stole the picture since he’d rather it be displayed somewhere in their flat in private as opposed to making a timely and embarrassing return after everyone but James forgot it existed.
After the godfather-father performance of the decade for Harry’s birthday that he will absolutely not remember on his own (the aid of the numerous photographs taken throughout the performance might help the adults remember), the four Marauders lay on James and Lily’s large bed as she tucked Harry in for his nap.
“Lads, I don’t think I’ve been happier with my life choices than I am now.” James looked around at his boys and then to Lily smiling in the doorway. “I mean it, and I don’t care if I sound like a sop. I love you all so much and I’m happy we’re still the Marauders plus Lily plus Prongslet.”
“How long do we have to be together before I’m no longer a ‘plus’?”
“Unsure, Red, it’s never happened before and we never expected it to, so we’ll hold a meeting and get back to you. We’ll have our people call your people.” Sirius looked at Lily upside down and winked - she was as much a Marauder as the rest of them and they all knew it.
On their way home, Sirius took Remus’ hand as they walked down the deserted streets near their flat. I could get used to this, always having his hand in mine wherever we go.
As soon as they shut the door behind them, Remus found himself pressed up against the door in a passionate kiss; if he sensed the emotional turmoil going on within Sirius he didn’t say anything.
Christmas Day rolled around and Sirius was nervous. He could count on one hand how many times he’d been this nervous and only two of those occasions really warranted any nerves in hindsight. It’s the type of nervous where you feel like your stomach is trying to escape through your mouth and your heart is trying to beat out of your chest and you can’t control your tongue and your hands sweat and shake. It’s the absolute worst kind of nervous because it’s impossible to be suave through this, and Sirius desperately wanted - needed - to be suave right now.
They had the Potters (all three!) as well as Pete, Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas around for dinner and gifts. Everyone had gone home and Remus and Sirius were finishing tidying up before settling in for a movie and what was left of the wine. Sirius checked his pocket for the third time in 20 minutes, reassuring himself the box was still there.
“I’m all done in the living room if you’ve finished resizing the table in there, love,” Remus called out as he spread the large fluffy blanket over the couch in preparation for a good snuggle.
Mustering up his Gryffindor courage, Sirius ambled into the living room and found a cozy Remus smiling up at him from the couch. He looked particularly beautiful tonight with a deep green jumper that reminded Sirius of running through the Forbidden Forest on nights of the full moon. The jumper set off his amber eyes and honeyed curls, freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks that were slightly pink from the warmth under the blanket and the wine he’d consumed. The sight of Remus, his Remus, took his breath away. All nerves melted as he stepped toward his love.
Sirius snuggled up close under the blanket and switched off the television, turning to kiss Remus when the questions started to bubble up.
“I need you to listen for a moment, Moonbeam.”
Remus swallowed and nodded, eyes bright and curious, urging Sirius to get on with it.
“You know, I never wanted to get married. Why would I bother wanting something I can’t even have? But a certain charming werewolf got me thinking one day: what if it’s not about the legality or ceremony, but just about the love? What if the whole point isn’t the pomp and circumstance, but telling the world ‘I love this man more than anyone else and I want everyone to know’?” Sirius laced their fingers together and hoped Remus wouldn't notice if they started to shake.
“So I thought on it for quite a bit. I came to the conclusion that never wanting what you can’t have is rubbish. If I never wanted what I thought I couldn’t have, we wouldn’t be here in the first place, because I wanted you. I still want you, and I always will. Every morning with your sleepy smile, every full when you cry and can barely crawl into bed, every birthday and holiday, every good and bad time. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side as we go through this life, and I want to show that in a way that’s available to us.”
Sirius pulled out the long, thin box and presented it to Remus. He looked at the box and back to Sirius with shining eyes that threatened tears and a beautiful smile. He opened the box and found two necklaces: one a silver crescent moon and the other a gold constellation. Sirius gently took the golden necklace from the box and presented it for Remus to examine.
“This is the Canis Major constellation, and this one here is my star, Sirius.” He gestured to ask Remus if he could put the necklace on him and Remus eagerly shifted forward so he could do so. “You have my star, and I have your moon. Individually they wouldn’t mean much, but as a pair…”
“As a pair, it shows our love, our connection, our promise.” Remus finished for him.
“Yes, that exactly,” Sirius looked up after putting his own necklace on to find Remus beaming at him, a pure ray of sunshine.
“I love it, it’s perfect for us. Thank you so much, my love.”
“Thank you, Moonbeam, for being mine.”
“Oh Sirius, I’ll be yours as long as the moon is in the sky.”
“And I’ll be yours as long as the stars shine down on us.”
“Perfect.” Remus nestled his head into Sirius’ lap and held tight to his new necklace as Sirius softly stroked his hair and held onto his own necklace.