Really, he should be used to this. How many years has he spent as an officer? Enough to know that it doesn't get easier. The current case is eating away at him, stopping him from eating, sleeping—hell it's ruining everything. He's lost his home, his sanity and the only thing he has gained from it is the stupid 'K' who seems to appear only to mock him. Ryu Su Yeol is tired, he doesn't know who he is. It's all a huge knot in his mind that tightens and strains him: it's getting harder to carry his luggage and he feels the mental boundaries close in on him as he slowly loses his mind.
He's used to being good at his defences. He doesn't mean the physical type, it hurts his ego to admit he needs K there for him...he guesses that's the only good thing K has brought with him. His strength because fuck, he doesn't have any.
He means he's good at hiding his emotions, his thoughts and feelings. He been doing it for years, he's been doing fairly well he'd say, but just one meeting with the new therapist had unravelled him, he hates how it's slowly coming back to him. It's a huge cloud of fog that burns when he touches it but he needs to feel that pain come to force—he's been carrying it too long in his bones, dragging him down. He wants to know why, and what he's hiding from himself.
K won't tell him. He knows somewhere, despite all the teasing and arguing, K cares. It makes somewhere inside him ignite a little with warmth, knowing he's cared for. He remembers the look on K's face when he tugged at that doors, desperate to find out about his past, he'd never seen those black eyes look so adamant. He knows it's something big. But Su Yeol's not good with stuff like this, he's tired and he's willing to drop it (like he's done for all these years) because he craves the comfort of his limbs against his mattress. His head on the pillow. He knows he can lie awake for ages, all night possibly, thinking about it but it's something else that's dragging him to bed. Something more stronger.
He closes his eyes, tongue sticking out subconsciously to lick his dry lips and he furrows under the covers, surprisingly falling to sleep.
He looks at peace under the covers, vulnerable and soft and sweet. A ghost of the child he'd never been. His hair soft and scattered slightly over his nose, his lips shine in the dark.
K watches him quietly, perched on a chair he'd dragged beside the bed. He's not looking at himself, it's Su Yeol he watches. Lips tugged under his teeth as his eyes trace the features of Su Yeol's face. High cheekbones, straight nose, soft lips with their noticeable curve at the top. K knows Su Yeol has a type of power over him he'll never understand; only he knows what Su Yeol has been through, he keeps it from him not ready to expose the harsh truths just yet. K feels the need to protect him like no one has ever done. They've left his Su Yeol all alone and vulnerable in this world, K needs to protect him because no one will. Su Yeol pushes them all away before they can get too close.
But he can't rid himself of K and he relishes in that fact.
K reaches out to touch him softly, bright eyes drinking in his relaxed form. Su Yeol groans under his breath, rolls over a little so he's resting on his side facing K so the man takes the chance and presses his fingers to Su Yeol's cheek.
Su Yeol is all his. It's something he prides in. He messes with him everyday, enjoying the look of annoyance that settles on his features, or the look of realisation and relief that he shows only to K once the two have discovered/figured something out. K enjoys it all. Watching Su Yeol go about his day, and look for him. When he calls for him, K has never felt more purposeful than in those moments. Thus, he's come to a realisation that Ryu Su Yeol has a huge effect on him.
But tonight, K has taken the reigns and has lulled his boy into sleeping to ease his troubled mind. He knows what Su Yeol has been through and though he doesn't remember it, it's stored deep within his mind and still tires him out mentally—K occasionally finds himself constricting the intrusive thoughts from reaching Su Yeol in an attempt to protect him. He knows the day will come where Su Yeol will find out and he fears it, but he's always going to be there for him if he's needed.
K needs his own peace of mind tonight, needs to know Su Yeol is doing alright. He remembers the conversation the had in the park, smiling to himself and softly chucking at the man's nonsense attempt, "12am to sunrise?"
He wasn't stupid he came out when and where he pleased—or if Su Yeol really needed his help but today he had come out for his own reasons. To watch over Su Yeol for his own satisfaction.
The man looks peaceful and no matter how old he gets, K doesn’t think he’ll ever stop worrying. His fingers have found a semi-permanent home in Su Yeol’s hair, caressing the soft strands and rubbing them between his fingers ever so delicately, marvelling at its warmth. Su Yeol was quiet and not as social as he seemed, spending most days locked inside unless he needed to get out for a case, no one seemed to notice but K. Somewhere, someday, K had decided he was the one for Su Yeol.
His other half?
He’s not too sure, all this stuff is confusing and he sees the strain his thoughts are having on the man, the wrinkles that have formed between his brows like he’s having a bad dream. K doesn’t want him to stress so he takes a huge breath and leans back, fingertips lightly brushing down his temples and pressing against the middle of his forehead.
“Shh…” he soothes him softly, thankful Su Yeol easily listens. In times of need, he’s always eager or desperate for K’s guidance. It should’ve stopped by now but K had found himself enjoying the control far too much and now he can’t Su Yeol out of his head.
K stands up and takes a seat on the bed, still watching Su Yeol so intently. He is his to look after, and oh he will. He drinks in the bruises and gashes on Su Yeol’s face and a fond smile makes its way on his lips. “I’ll look after you.”
He bends down, he’s used to being close to Su Yeol like this—most of the time taunting him with the intimacy, but this time K means it. His lips are light and soft like feathers as he places them on Su Yeol’s hair, breathing in his familiar, comforting smell. K adores how at home the officer makes him feel. It shocked him at first but he’d easily gotten used to it.
Ryu Su Yeol is just something else and K is much too indulged to say goodbye now.