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obedience and libido

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"I'm not sure about this," Kakashi said.

Iruka tilted his head. "Shouldn't that be my line?"

"Yes, but you're not saying it," Kakashi pointed out. He narrowed his eye, trying to see any of that presumed uncertainty on Iruka's face.

"I thought you liked having sex with me."

"With you. Not just your body."

Iruka halted, then yanked Kakashi into an alley and kissed him, shadow and surprise taking the place of the mask. "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." He nipped at Kakashi's lower lip. "You're not saying you don't think my body is hot, do you?"

"I think," Kakashi said, trailing his fingers a familiar path up along Iruka's spine, "that you know very well how I feel about your body."

"Yes," Iruka agreed happily. "And next to my body, and in my body, and..."

Kakashi laughed. Then he yanked the mask back up and pulled Iruka into the street again so they could continue. "You really want to do this." Despite the lingering laughter, Kakashi could hear the uncertainty in his own voice. It said more than his actual words, questioning Iruka's willingness.

"Yes." Iruka took Kakashi's hand and threaded their fingers together. "I think it will be interesting."

They went on together in silence until they got to Irukas building. On the stairs going up, Kakashi said, "Do you even know if you'll really feel this? I mean, if your self goes away--"

"It's not like I'll be dead or anything," Iruka said, unlocking his door. "It's more like a personality suppression jutsu. All that's left active is obedience and libido. And it doesn't last that long."

Kakashi closed the door behind them and made sure it was securely locked before taking off his sandals. "Well. All right then."

"Your enthusiasm is overwhelming," Iruka said dryly. He went into the kitchen, and Kakashi followed him to see him pour a glass one third full of water and bring out a tiny bottle. Iruka looked at Kakashi. "If you don't want to do this, we won't do it."

Kakashi pulled his mask down. "And here I was planning out exactly what to do to you."

"I'll say yes to anything," Iruka said blithely, poured the liquid from the tiny bottle into the water, swirled it around, and drank it down.

Kakashi pushed up his forehead protector and opened his Sharingan to be sure he'd see what happened. A soft shudder ran through Iruka, and something changed in his eyes; they grew soft and wide and defenseless, and Kakashi shuddered, too, realizing the magnitude of the gift Iruka was giving him.

"Thank you," he said, closing his Sharingan again, because there wasn't much to see that way. Then he took the glass out of Iruka's hand, took out a clean one, and poured a bit of water in it. He handed the glass back to Iruka. "Better rinse your mouth out a bit." He had no idea how strong that stuff was, and pretty sure that having it affect both of them at the same time would be a horrible idea.

"Yes, Kakashi," Iruka said and drank obediently. Kakashi saw him swirl the water around in his mouth before swallowing.

When Iruka was finished with the water, Kakashi took the glass and set it aside next to the first one. He looked at Iruka and felt himself hesitate after all, because this blank-eyed stranger wasn't his lover, was a very long way from being the determined, hot-tempered, passionate man who was his lover.

Then he thought about the effect of this potion wearing off, and the re-emergence of Iruka's true self, and what Iruka would likely say to him if all Kakashi had done was make him drink some water. Kakashi grinned wryly to himself, and then he cupped both hands around Iruka's face and kissed him. Iruka's mouth was warm and yielding, washed clean by the water but with Iruka's own taste rising up underneath. Kakashi lifted his head after a short moment. "Kiss me back."

"Yes, Kakashi." This time Iruka's lips moved against his own, and parted obediently when Kakashi's tongue pressed for entry. It wasn't quite their usual kiss, but close enough that Kakashi could feel himself warming slowly, getting more and more interested.

That was a bit of a relief. He hadn't voiced that particular concern to Iruka, and now he tried to imagine the scene once Iruka returned to himself -- sorry, but I can't get it up for you if you're not really there. Except apparently that wasn't the case, and Kakashi broke the kiss to swipe his tongue over Iruka's lower lip even as he wondered what that said about him.

"Come on, this'll be more comfortable in the bedroom."

"Yes, Kakashi." Iruka's voice was a little slower than usual, but perfectly clear. Kakashi guided him along with a hand on his back, although Iruka had perfect motor control and took not a single mis-step as they went along.

"And you might be more comfortable in a pink lace negligee," he said to see what would happen.

"Yes, Kakashi." There was no change in that even voice, no suggestion of sputtered outrage, just the same sweet agreement.

"And bunny slippers."

"Yes, Kakashi."

Kakashi pushed the bedroom door open. "The sky was very green today, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Kakashi."

Kakashi shook his head and halted them both so that they stood close together on the bedroom floor. "I'm not sure if I want to laugh or freak out." He kissed Iruka before Iruka could answer, because he felt quite certain of what the answer would be. "Now, if I were going to take sexual advantage of you, what would I do... Take your clothes off, Iruka. Slowly."

"Yes, Kakashi." Iruka took a short step back and took off his tac vest, hung it neatly over the back of a nearby chair, and pulled his high-necked top over his head. There was nothing overtly erotic about his movements, but Kakashi found them surprisingly enticing just because of that. Iruka moved without a trace of self-consciousness, bending and taking his socks off without trying to avoid Kakashi's hand, and Kakashi reached out and stroked Iruka's ass and almost overshot the mark, compensating for a sideways squirm that never came. He grinned, and Iruka, straightening up, smiled shyly at him in return.

Iruka's bared chest seemed much more naked now than the last time Kakashi had seen him with his shirt off. His skin glowed in the soft light of the bedside lamp, inviting touch. Kakashi drew his fingertips lightly from Iruka's collarbone down to his waist, and then, resolutely, rubbed his thumb over one nipple.

It hardened instantly under his touch, and Iruka made a soft sound, the kind of sound that Kakashi usually had to work a lot harder for than this. Iruka began to take his pants off, and as soon as they were pushed down, Kakashi put his hand on Iruka's ass again, caressing the perfect curve and feeling the heat of Iruka's skin through thin, washed-soft fabric. Then Iruka took off his underwear as well, and Kakashi was touching smooth, bare skin. He stroked up and down, walking around Iruka to kiss the edges of the scar on his back, and bit gently at Iruka's shoulders.

"Now take my clothes off," Kakashi said. "You know, I'm starting to get into this." Iruka knelt down, starting with Kakashi's shin bandages. "Then again, I'd probably be into most things that involved us being naked together." He balanced on one foot, then the other. Iruka's fingers brushed against his skin, and there was nothing deliberate or caressing about it.

Iruka stood up and put the bandages away on top of his own folded clothes. "Yes, Kakashi." He slipped Kakashi's vest from his shoulders and hung it on the back of the chair, over his own.

"You're never this tidy-minded otherwise," Kakashi said. "I thought this drug thing was about sex, not picking up around the bedroom." He bent his head and shrugged his shoulders to assist as Iruka pulled his top off, and watched with a grin as Iruka folded it and put it neatly on the growing pile. "I suppose as long as you don't fold me and put me on a chair, I have no objections."

"Yes, Kakashi." Iruka caught Kakashi's hands and peeled off his gloves, set them aside, and unfastened Kakashi's pants. There was such calm efficiency in his movements that Kakashi found it hard not to laugh.

"I wonder," Kakashi said, "if I should have asked you to undress me in a sexy way. I wonder what you would have done then." Iruka knelt down to unwind the bandage around Kakashi's thigh and take off Kakashi's pants, and Kakashi stroked his hair. "Though if you're on your knees pulling my pants down, shouldn't that be sexy, by definition? Sometimes I really wonder about myself."

"Yes, Kakashi," Iruka said, sliding Kakashi's underwear down as well.

Kakashi braced himself against Iruka's shoulder, once again lifting one leg at a time. "I have an outer pervert," he admitted, "more than an inner one." He watched thoughtfully as Iruka folded the pants. "Careful with those, I've got a lot of stuff in the pockets."

"Yes, Kakashi."

"I'm not even hard. Maybe there's something wrong with me."

"Yes, Kakashi."

Kakashi chuckled. "Okay, you didn't have to agree to that one, you know." He scrubbed at his hair and tried to get into the proper spirit of things. "Suck my cock, Iruka."

"Yes, Kakashi." For a moment, Kakashi tried to work out of there was more enthusiasm in Iruka's voice, or less, or if it sounded exactly the same after all and he was just imagining things, and then Iruka was on his knees again, wrapping his soft lips around Kakashi's soft cock and sucking gently, and the blood left Kakashi's head and he found it very difficult to think about anything that wasn't Iruka's mouth. Iruka was never quite this gentle otherwise, was a lot more goal-oriented and firm, and while Kakashi found that very sexy, he also liked this not-precisely-hesitant sweetness.

"All right, I think you found my inner pervert," he said with a gasp. "Mm, just like that... softly... wait, that's enough, stop." Iruka stopped, and Kakashi questioned his own sanity. Oh, right, he had a plan. "C'mon, there's a nice big bed over there. Or not that big, actually, but bigger than mine, anyway. The bed, I mean, not... Lie down."

"Yes, Kakashi." Iruka sank down on the bed, and Kakashi draped himself along Iruka's side, leaning over him a little and pushing Iruka down to be flat on his back. He suddenly realized that he could do all those things he never felt he had enough time for during their ordinary lovemaking, because Iruka was such an impatient brat in bed, probably because he associated with all those impatient brats in the academy on a daily basis.

Kakashi grinned. He lifted one of Iruka's hands to his mouth and kissed the palm, then started to lick slowly up each finger in turn. Iruka made a choked sound, and then a not-so-choked sound. Kakashi sucked on the index finger, the middle finger, the index and middle finger together. He loved Iruka's hands, strong and capable and a little dry from over-scrubbing. He loved the way Iruka arched against him, moaning, when Kakashi rubbed his tongue over the joints.

Every finger got the same thorough attention, including the thumb, which made Iruka moan in a whole new way. Kakashi paused and looked at Iruka, who was still disturbingly blank-faced, but whose eyes had darkened considerably. Then he started in on the other hand. Iruka writhed against him, but didn't protest or tell him to stop. Kakashi felt an upwelling of something thick and hot, deep inside him. His mouth slowed down even more; he licked Iruka's fingertips one by one, breathed against them.

Iruka didn't say anything, and that took some getting used to, because normally he was very verbal in bed, full of comments and opinions and directions, and Kakashi found that equal parts annoying and hot. This version, though, this version of Iruka just writhed and made delicious noises, didn't tell Kakashi to stop or do it differently or do something else altogether.

"I hate to say it," Kakashi said, licking at Iruka's thumb, "but I could get used to this." He spent some time tasting the skin of Iruka's palms, and mouthed at the smooth inside of the wrist, feeling Iruka's pulse thunder against his lips.

"Yes, Kakashi," Iruka moaned, and Kakashi moved to lick the crook of his elbow.

"It's not the obedience," Kakashi said. "That's actually kind of disturbing." He turned his head, and there was Iruka's nipple, so he licked and sucked, tried some very gentle biting. The licking got the best result, so he worked his tongue around, broad licks and little flickers and slow swirls, switching from one side to the other. "But I really like being able to take my time. Being able to touch you wherever I want for as long as I want." He grinned at Iruka. "I'm going to lick your ass later."

Iruka wriggled under him, not enough to get free or change their positions, just enough to provide Kakashi with delicious friction that kept his arousal at a steady simmer. And there was, of course, no protest about Kakashi's plans. Iruka would never hold still for that on an ordinary night, thought it was embarrassing and dirty, and it drove Kakashi kind of crazy, because he could tell that Iruka loved it, the few moments Iruka forgot himself and just let go. And now Iruka just said "Yes, Kakashi," his voice wavering a little.

That was hot. Hot and disturbing, and Kakashi chuckled a little into the warm, smooth skin of Iruka's chest, slowly kissing a trail lower and lower. He rubbed his face into Iruka's stomach, because he loved it and because the rasp of stubble made Iruka squeak. Then he kissed and licked along the crease between leg and torso, starting at Iruka's hipbone and moving in and down, but being very careful not to brush against, or even breathe against, Iruka's cock.

There was no hurry, after all.

Kakashi sprawled comfortably between Iruka's legs and settled in to kiss the inside of Iruka's left thigh. The skin was soft and hot and a little damp, just enough to feel as if it were clinging to his lips with every kiss. He made it all the way down to the knee before he gave in to temptation and began to lick his way up again. He didn't bite, not here; he knew Iruka didn't like that, and he didn't like the idea of Iruka unable to protest against something that really, truly wasn't a pleasure.

When he got to the top, he considered switching over to the other side, and decided that no, this would be a lot more interesting in another way. Kakashi sat back on his heels. "Turn over, Iruka."

"Yes, Kakashi." Iruka rolled over on his stomach, and Kakashi spent a little time arranging him just right, spreading his legs wider, pushing a pillow under his hips. Kakashi admired the view for a moment, frowned out of habit at the scar so close to the spine, then settled down between Iruka's legs again and began to kiss his way up the inside of Iruka's right thigh, just as appealing as the left one. Maybe he hurried a little in the middle, just so he could slow down and take his time at the end, because he loved that place where thigh and ass met, loved the curve and dip of it, the way the strong lines of Iruka's body invited his touch to move in any one of several tempting directions.

Kakashi propped himself up on his elbows, nudging Iruka's thighs into a better angle, and spread Iruka's ass with both hands. Iruka made a small sound as Kakashi breathed on him, and then a louder one when Kakashi started to press light kisses along the inside of one ass cheek. He squirmed, but he didn't try to squirm away. Kakashi grinned and kissed his way up to Iruka's tailbone, then licked his way down again. He did it over and over, gradually straightening out the curve of his line of kisses, until he got up to Iruka's tailbone and licked straight down, only stopping when his tongue played over the small, tight hole that clenched at the touch.

Iruka moaned into the pillow. Kakashi grinned some more, and then he stopped grinning so he could lick better. He still had his hands on Iruka's ass, and he could feel the muscles tremble, could feel Iruka's entire body shaking in response to every leisurely stroke of Kakashi's tongue. Iruka might claim not to like this, but he was coming apart under Kakashi's slow touch, now that he couldn't protest against it.

Kakashi felt another hot, thick curl inside of something that was part desire and part possessiveness, a feeling both of want and satisfaction. He wanted Iruka, and Iruka was his. Iruka had given himself over completely into Kakashi's hands, cheerfully and fearlessly.

And of course Kakashi was going to give him back. But right now, Iruka was his, and though he'd never say the words out loud, he painted them with his tongue on Iruka's skin: mine want have take own possess.

The way Iruka trembled and moaned just made Kakashi burn hotter. He drew spirals with his tongue, and then noughts and crosses, careful not to do anything that might resemble a hand sign and trigger a jutsu. Not that you could do those with your tongue, really, at least he'd never heard of it, but... well, he'd hate to be the first one to find out that it was possible.

When Iruka was relaxed and tense and loose and strung tight under Kakashi's hands and tongue, Kakashi reached out for the jar of cream that theoretically had a modest hidden existence in a compartment under the edge of the bed. At least, it had been hidden away before Kakashi started spending so much time in Iruka's bed. He was more in favor of things being easy and fast to reach when you needed them.

The cream was excellent for its purpose, but tasted of some fairly bitter herb, so Kakashi gave up the rimming in favor of gentle kisses and bites while he slowly slid a finger into Iruka, feeling the heated clench of Iruka's body relax just the tiniest bit to accommodate him.

"You're so beautiful like this," he said into the skin of Iruka's upper thigh, and pushed in two fingers to hear Iruka's moans rise in pitch. It was true: Iruka's body was being beautifully honest, and Kakashi was entranced. He went on finger-fucking Iruka long past the time when Iruka would usually have said something very pointed, or moaned something very pointed, anyway.

Then he slicked himself up with some more cream and stretched out over Iruka's body, sinking in and feeling Iruka try to raise his hips in response. This was different, perfect and disturbing.

It wasn't that Iruka didn't like getting fucked. Iruka made it very clear just how much he enjoyed it. But sometimes Kakashi felt he was in bed with two people, the Iruka who loved what he and Kakashi were doing, and another Iruka who watched it with a wry, resigned smile.

Iruka had tried to explain. It's what everyone expects. That I bottom for you and I love it. Not even a healthy sense of self-preservation had stopped Kakashi from saying, But you do love it. Iruka had smacked him on the back of the head, of course. That's not the point.

Truthfully, Kakashi still wasn't sure what the point was. Right now there was no other Iruka, distancing himself from the pleasure. But then, the Iruka that Kakashi loved wasn't there either. Right now, in this bed, there was just Kakashi and Iruka's wonderfully responsive body. He supported himself on one arm and used the other hand to sweep the hair off the back of Iruka's neck, so he could kiss and lick and nibble, bury his face there and breathe in the smell of Iruka's skin.

"I keep expecting you to elbow me in the ribs and tell me to move," he breathed in Iruka's ear. "And I will. You just feel so..." Kakashi paused, at a loss for words. "Free," he said finally. "I wish you could always feel so free."

Iruka moaned something into the pillow that might have been "Yes, Kakashi," and Kakashi decided there was no point in asking for clarification. He shifted his hips in tiny thrusts until a moan and a gasp and a ripple told him he'd found the right angle, and then he moved as slowly as the intense pleasure would let him move, trying to share that feeling with his lover, even though he wasn't quite sure who his lover was at the moment.

"I know you're in there," he whispered, and bit at Iruka's earlobe. "Iruka. I love you." And that was the feeling that pushed him harder and faster, that drove him forward and drove him deep, until Iruka cried out under him, clenched around him so sweetly that there was nothing for him to do but let go.

Kakashi liked this, too, being pressed together in the aftermath, sticky with sweat, breathing hard. He liked still being inside Iruka, moving his lips against the back of Iruka's neck, too wrung out to make a real kiss out of it. Once his bones went from liquid to mostly solid again, he slowly drew back, knelt up, scooted backwards off the bed and went to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up a bit haphazardly, wet a washcloth and snagged a dry towel and took them to the bedroom, where he cleaned Iruka with a great deal more care.

The pillow he'd shoved under Iruka's hips was completely wrecked, though. Kakashi hoped Iruka hadn't been too devoted to that particular pillowcase.

He put things away to dry, or at least be out of the way, filled a glass with water and put it on the bedside table, and crawled back into bed, trying to arrange them both into a comfortable position. Not as easy as it sounded, since Kakashi liked to sleep with his head on Iruka's shoulder, and it felt weird to... "Iruka," he said finally. "Hold me."

"Yes, Kakashi," Iruka said drowsily, and just like that, they were tangled up in each other in just the right way. Kakashi could feel sleep stealing over him. He rubbed his nose against Iruka's breastbone, thought about saying something else, forgot what it was, and then he was just gone.

Later, he became aware that someone was playing with his hair. Kakashi made a low sound, half pleasure at the petting, half dissatisfaction at being woken up. "Maybe I was having a great dream," he said.

"You can always have another one," Iruka said cheerfully, and Kakashi jerked his head up to see Iruka's face, Iruka's eyes bright and clear and with all of Iruka's indomitable spirit glittering there. "What would you have done if I'd put on a pink negligee and bunny slippers?"

"Laughed," Kakashi said, sleepily honest. Then he blinked himself more awake. "You remember that."

"I remember every word you said." Iruka had an odd look on his face, and Kakashi, who really didn't remember every word he'd said, tried to be as alert as he could. "Really, Kakashi, you want me to be free? What am I, a princess in a tower?" His voice took on a decided edge. "A sexually repressed princess in a tower."

"That's really not how I would describe you." Kakashi very much wanted to go back to sleep, and he'd prefer to never have this conversation at all, but he'd settle for having it at some time when he was at least more awake. "Didn't I say I like your body better when you're there in it?"

"I was there," Iruka said, voice still sending out warning signals. "Apparently my body is more free when my mind is locked up."

"I'm sorry you didn't like it." Kakashi thought about pushing himself up to get a better look at Iruka's face, a better feel for the situation, but his body really wanted to hold on to the last of the post-orgasmic lassitude. "You can lock me up in a tower next time, if you want."

He had all of a heartbeat to wonder if that actually made sense, and then Iruka's chest began to move under his cheek as Iruka started laughing. "You really aren't awake, are you."

"Mm," Kakashi said neutrally. "Probably not." He thought about all the reasons why he really didn't want to take a drug like that, while Iruka's chuckles slowed and eventually stopped. Iruka's hand moved in Kakashi's hair again, slowly and gently.

"Oh, go back to sleep." The rhythmic stroking was very soothing, now. "We'll talk about this again," the edge was still there in Iruka's voice, only slightly blunted, "but not now."

"Mm," Kakashi said again. Part of him wanted to go to full alert, in response to the way Iruka's voice very nearly sounded, but a larger part of him wanted to trust in his lover's words, and this was the safest place to sleep he'd ever found.

Iruka went on stroking his hair, hand moving slower and slower. Kakashi was just about asleep when he heard Iruka mutter, "And I suppose I love you, too. Jerk."