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When the time stops

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We won…, we finally won
That was it we had finally won against Argentina, we really did it…

 

HAAAAAH NOW OIKAWA OWNS ME A CARNE ASADA!!!

‘Oi boke stop giggling, you’ve been doing it since we left and that was like an hour ago.... Oi!! it’s getting creepy people are starting to look at us you idiot’ said kageyama ‘heeeh I’m sorryyyyyy I’m just really excited, I mean after almost 5 years we’ve finally won against them it’s normal that I’m happy!’ ‘Yes yes I get it ,didn’t you had to go to get something before we go to the celebration party?’
‘Oh right I almost forgot thanks kags I’m going now, see ya in a bit!’ ‘See ya dork, don’t do anything stupid and be careful!’ ‘ehhhh then I wouldn't be able to do you' I gave him a wink a little wave and threw a kiss while walking away .

after getting my things I started to make my way to the place we had agreed to meet with the rest of the team, when suddenly a light blinded me.

 

 

‘Huh? Where am I? Did I really die?

Wait there's a beep, I slowly opened my eyes and tried to get used to the blinding light in the room.

 

Okey so I’m in a hospital… what now?
I said when I had finished assessing my surroundings Suddenly I heard some noise outside the room and the door finally opened, a woman in her mid 30's walked in and stopped in front of my bed, she gave me a small smile and started talking
‘Hi mr hinata, how are you feeling? my name is Kate and I’m your doctor, i'm sorry to inform you but you’ve been on a medical induced coma for 3 days because a traffic accident, Wich caused both a knee and a wrist injury’

wait what?, a traffic accident? A COMA?..... an ingury?
‘Wait but everything is good now, right?’ I said trying to not let my voice break

‘Well you are stable for now and even though I still would like to run some tests to make sure you’re good to go I could say you are clear yes, but I do have some bad news,
Even though we did everything we could to save your leg and wrist... it could be too risky to continue playing volleyball, in fact it's possible that if you continue playing you could damage your nerves and lose control over them permanently, but of course you can still make normal life’

 

 

 

 

what?

 

 

 

static was the only thing I could hear

 

NononononoNNONONONO this has to be a joke, this I- no I- can’t I can’t stop playing volleyball, it’s my life. I- this has to be a joke I can’t I can’t

I started to feel how my breathing was getting faster and I felt a hand on my shoulder Don't touch me Don't touch me Don't touch me Don't touch me

Nononono I really can’t, what am I gonna do

My hands went to my head and started pulling my hair while my knees slowly pressedagainst my chest, and without a warning I could hear how people started to enter the room voices surrounding me their voices blended together forming indecipherable noises,
my vision got blurry , and I knew I had started to lose consciousness.

I woke up feeling disoriented and cold, and then everything that happened yesterday came rushing to my head

I still can't believe it, I mean what am I even supposed to do now, end my whole career when I’m 27? and then what? I don’t have studies nor experience of any kind, no one is going to hire me to de any kind of work or at least anything that would help me feed myself, all my life is and revolves around volleyball, including my friends and social life, but now it’s gone? I'm not ready to leave that world, is my everything…

 

I could feel how hot tears were running through my face and everything was fuzzy again, when the intrusive thoughts started

‘I should just do it ’
‘No one will really care’
‘You’re just wasting everyone’s time and money staying at the hospital’
‘Am I even worth something now that I can’t play?’

No no, I can’t, It's been a whole year staying clean, I can’t do this

‘Maybe I’m just doing it for attention’
‘I’m just a burden for everyone aren’t I’
'in the end they would be better without me’

And without realizing I was already at the white and clean hospital bathroom with razor in hand.

 

One ‘I wonder if they went to celebrate’

 

 

Two ‘maybe they are training and getting ahead of me’

 

 

Five ‘I guess I Kenma will get bored now’

 

 

Ten ‘ maybe that’s why they aren’t here visiting’

 

 

Twenty ‘ Huh I guess kageyama was right in warning me I am doing something stupid aren't I how silly’

 

 

Thirty ‘will they be mad at me for not helping them in the next mach?’

 

 

Forty ‘No, they don’t need me’

 

Oh… I guess I overdid a bit, I dropped the blade, loosing all the strength I had and falling to the floor, I finally closed my eyes and feel asleep feeling disoriented and cold.