Work Header

Family Time

Work Text:

"Pass me the bread, Chris, please."

"Here, mom."

"Thanks, sweetie … So, what were you just saying, Calvy?"

"I was actually talking to dad. Listen, dad. This week, we came back to that village, and guess who they'd hired to shoo us away? Chris, of all people! Him and some others."

"Yes, son, that must've been a nasty surprise."

"Needless to say. There we were, starving, and he told us to ride on!"

"You don't exactly look starved to me …"

"I sure don't, thanks to our parents' generosity! But what about my men, eh? Your men are fed by the farmers. My men are fed by me. Me!"

"By robbery, you mean."

"No! What's wrong about shearing sheep? Just tell me that. What?"

"I could tell you over and over again, you'd never understand."

"Of course I would. If you have the right arguments, that is. Which you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"I DO!"

"Come, boys, be good. Clear your plate, Calvy. You too, Chris."

"I have to finish this first. Let's talk things out. Or have you run out of arguments, Christian?"

"You know I hate my full name. You're a meany head. I'll shoot you."

"That's not funny, Chris."

"Sorry, mom."

"I wonder how our boys could get so very different from one another …"

"So do I, love of mine … Then again, maybe they're not all that different."


"Howdy, y'all."

"Oh! That's the fu**** who was standing next to Chris, in the village."

"No cursing at the table, Calvy."

"Right. Sorry, mom."

"Mom, dad, this is Vin. He's-"

"Wow! Lovely! Chris, is he your-?"

"Well, actually, he'd just like to go to the john."

"Ah. It's a pity. You're quite cute together …"

"Mom, please …"

"Alright, alright."

"Hey, the john's that way. The other way is Chris's and my room."

"Thanks, Calvy."