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Teyvat high

Chapter Text

Zhongli has added ‘Hu tao’ ‘Jean’ and 10+ others to Teyvat high

Zhongli : I decided to add you guys here because we need to have contact with other people in out classes. 

Venti is online

Venti : HIII

Zhongli : Hello. 

Hu tao is online

Yanfei is online

Zhongli is offline

Hu tao : HIIHIIGIG

Yanfei : hey guys im a lawer lawyer

Yanfei has edited a message

Yanfei : you didnt see that 

Hu tao : can someone help me with the math hw

Venti : i will

Hu tao : TY UR A LIFESAVER

Venti : whats your dorm #

Hu tao ill dm i t to you

Venti : kk

Hu tao is offline

Venti is offline

yanfei is offline

Kaeya is online

Kaeya : FUCK

Diluc is online

Kaeya is offline

Diluc is offline

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text


8:49 am

Cuz (ins)

Morax is online

Morax : Venti was online last night at 3 am.

Morax : @Beelzebul @Baal 

Barbatos is online

Baal is online

Barbatos : ZHONG ZHONG YOU TRATIOR

Morax : You can tell us anything you know that right?

Barbatos :  yea i konw.....

Beelzebul is online

Beelzebul : Barbatos we talked about this.

Barbatos : why r u guys ganging up o nme

Beelzebul : Is this about your crush? .

Beelzebul : Or your nightmares?.

Morax : What? You never told me anything about that

Beelzebul has edited a message

Beelzebul has edited a message

Barbatos : 

Beelzebul : Apologies.

Barbatos : How could you.

Barbatos is offline

Beelzebul is offline

Tsaritsa is online

Tsaritsa : What happened here?

Morax : I don't think it's my place to say it.

Morax : Let Barbatos announce it when hes ready.

Tsaritsa :  Alright

Baal : Holy shit

Morax :  Language. 

Baal : ye ayea okayy old mann

Morax : I'm not that old. 

Baal is offline

Tsaritsa is offline

Morax is offline


 

 8:53am

Teyvat high

Zhongli is online 

Zhongli : Has anyone seen Venti?

Aether is online 

Aether : hes in his riohsfiyljjkjnn

Lumine is online 

Lumine : AETHER ARE YOU OKAY 

Zhongli :  Did you guys hear that?

Ganyu, Keqing, Noelle and 20+ others are online

Kaeya : HOLYL SHIOT DID TOU GUYS HAER THAT/

Diluc : I'm pretty sure everyone heard that

Kaeya : shut up

Diluc : start running.

Diluc is offline

Kaeya : oh shit

Kaeya is offline

Jean : Ohh no...

Jean : Please don't murder him, I don't want more paperwork.

Lisa : Yeah, don't give my girlfriend more paperwork~

Jean :  LISA. 

Lisa : Don't be embarrassed~

Zhongli : @Aether Are you okay?

Aether :  HELP A GIRL WITH PURPKE HAIR ING A BREIDN BROAKE DOWN THE DOOR AND IS HEaDING WOURAsDS VENTIO ROOM

Aether :  SHOIT SHE SAW ME TELL LUJMINE I LOBE HEFTYSJFHT

Aether is offline

Lumine : AETHER

Zhongli : Ei?

Zhongli is offline

Lumine: IM OCIMG

Yunjin : so thats what it was

Ningguang is online

Ningguang : There's a ginger guy outside he wants to talk to you zhongli. @Zhongli.

Zhongli is online

Zhongli :   Ah Ajax, tell him to come inside and wait. I have important matters to attend to.

Ninguang : Very well, he shall wait for your return.

Zhongli is offline

Ninguang is offline

  Beidou is online

Beidou : I missed her didnt i 

Aether is online

Aether :  OMGOMGOGMOGMOGMGOMGOMGOGM SHES GOINF NTO EVNTUS RROM

Beidou : what

Noelle : Zhongli asked us if anyone had seen venti, aether says hes in his room, a girl with a purple braid breaks down their dorms door, possibly strangled aether, and is walking to ventis room.

Beidou : Noelle you are an angel

Noelle : Oh! Uhm, thank you?

Beidou : Your welcum 

Aether : OH SHIT ZHONGLIS HERE SHXIGU

Beidou : RECORS AETHERFG RRECORKD

Diluc is online

Diluc : I knocked him out.

Jean : At least hes not dead...

Jean : @Barbara  can you and noelle go find kaeya and bring him to the infirmary?

Noelle : Of course!

Barbara is online

Barbara :  Oh! Alright!

Noelle is offline

Barbara is offline

Yunjin : Aether?? Are you good?

Aether :  yea zhongli came talk to her 

Aether :  her name was appaerntly Ei or something

Xingqiu : Apparently*

Aether :  stfu

Aether : anywasy she only came here to talk to venti 

Jean : oh

lisa : oh

Diluc : oh

Beidou : oh

Ganyu : oh

Ganyu is offline

Keqing : oh

Yunjin : oh

Amber : oh

Elua : What is this? I will have vengeance! 

Sucrose : Has anyone seen a little girl dressed in red, that has blonde pigtails and carries around bombs?

Eula : Ah yes, Klee?

Sucrose : ooh yyes have you seeen herr?

Eula :  yes, shes with me.

Sucrose : If you dont mind me asking, where are you?

Eula : Cryo wing, Shes currently playing with a girl named 'Ganyu'

Sucrose : Thank yyou so much!

Sucrose is offline

Elua is offline 

Beidou : @Aether the vid?

Aether :  right here

Aether :  Zhongliandgirltalking.vid

Beidou : HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK

Jean : Everybody its time for class get off of your phones @Everyone

Multiple people are offline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text


4:56 pm

Teyvat high

 

Venti is online

Venti : LAMAO DID YOU GUSY SEE THAT

Zhongli is online

Zhongli : See what?

Amber is online

Lumine is online

Aether is online

Diluc is online

Kaeya is online

Xiangling is online

Keqing is online

Ganyu is online

Noelle is online

Noelle : a girl was beat up

Noelle : she looked pretty bad

Noelle : like a broken rib or nose 

Venti : reminds me of what my parents used to do you didnt see that

Zhongli : You need therapy, Venti. 

Venti : ehe

Venti has edited a message

Lumine : WHAT DO YOU MEAN "EHE"

Aether : sorry paimon took lulus phone

Lumine : sorry paimon took my phone

Ganyu : guys we are getting some new students

Zhongli : Ah, yes. That's what I wanted to tell you guys.

Venti : wait a minutw

Venti : WHEn DID EI GET HERE

Venti : I THOUGHT HER FAMILY MOVED TO INAZUMA

Zhongli : She told me that she will be attending this school.

Venti : BOTH OF THEM???

Zhongli : Yes.

Venti : OMG CAN I ADD THEM

Ganyu : of course you can!

Venti has added (2) members

Ei is online

Makoto is online

Makoto :  Hes got like a large crush on a dude. ei has a crush too

Makoto : OH SHIT 

Makoto has edited a message

Makoto : YOU DIDNT SEE THAT

Venti : WHAT 

Makoto : oh shit im dying today

Hu tao is online

Hu tao : DEATH?????!!!!

Venti : WAS THAT ABOUT ME?????

Makoto : .....no

Venti : @Ei WHERE IS SHE CURRENTLY

Ei : she told me to not tell you

Jean is online

Jean : Please refrain from murdering future students.

Venti : fine you boomer

Ei : the real boomer here is zhong zhong

Childe is online

Zhongli : Hello Ajax.

Venti : ew ginger

Aether : ew ginger

Lumine : ew ginger

Amber : ew ginger

Kaeya : ew ginger

Keqing : ew ginger

Ganyu : ew ginger

Xiangling : ew ginger

Ei : ginger?

Makoto : ginger?

Ei has added (1) members

Yae is online

Yae : Oh? whats this~

Venti : are you guys cgonna come to our sschool?

Yae : Oh? Ven its been a while since i saw you

Yae : But yes, we are.

Venti : OMGOGMGOGGOGMO

Venti : I MISSED YOU GUYS OMGOMGOMOGM

Yae : we need to talk about that crush sweetie

Venti : SHUT UP

Venti : I guess i wont tell you what she likes...

Yae : WAIT NO IM SORRY

Venti :  i thought so 

Childe : Hey comrades

Venti : ew ginger

Childe : shut up gay twink

Venti : 

Venti : @Xiao @Ei @Makoto @Yae permission to beat up ginger

Xiao is online

Ei : Permission granted

Yae : Permission granted

Makoto : permission granted

Zhongli : Violence is never the answer

Xiao : Violence is not the answer, but arson is.

Venti : sooooooooooooo permission granted or what

Xiao : permission granted

Xiao : hell, wait for me.

Venti : @Childe start running.

Childe : WAIT NO

Childe is offline

Venti : Shall we?

Xiao : We shall.

Xiao is offline

Venti is offline

Hu tao : WAIT FOR ME I NEED A COFFIN

Hu tao is offline

Xingqiu is online

Xingqiu : that was kinda gay

Chongyun is online

Chongyun : qiu, we are dating. 

Xingqiu is  offline

Chongyun is offline

Kaeya : @Rosaria record fo r mr

Rosaria is online

Rosaria : bet

Rosaria is offline

 

 

Chapter Text


3:17 am

Teyvat high

 

Ninguang is online

Beidou is online

Ganyu is online

Jean is online

Aether is online

Lumine is online

Lumine : Who the fuck is blasting olivia rodrigo at this time

Aether : Who the fuck is blasting olivia rodrigo at this time

Beidou : ah yes

Beidou : a case of the twins

Ei is online

Makoto is online 

Ei : Its Venti.

Makoto : Its Venti.

Ei is offline

Makoto is offline

Beidou : Wait hoe did they kniw

Venti is online

Venti : sorry guys

Venti : i thoughy my airpods wherr connectef

Ganyu : its okay

Venti : cools

Venti : you guyd shoulf get some sleeo

Ganyu is offline

Ningguang is offline

Beidou is offline 

Lumine is offline

Aether is offline

Venti : jean you should het some skeep too

Jean : right

Jean is offline

 

 

Chapter Text


5:31

Teyvat high

 

Beidou is online

Beidou : tell me why i just saw xiao and venti dancing together

Beidou : ????

Zhongli is online

Ganyu is online

Ningguang is online

Keqing is online

Kaeya is online

Kaeya : LMAO WHAT

Ningguang : I forgot to inform you guys.

Zhongli : We will have a school play, about the olden times.

Kaeya : LMAO GAYYYYYYYY

Diluc is online

Diluc : shut up

Diluc is offline

Kaeya : but how does that relattr to xiaoven dancing

Zhongli : Keqing, can you explain the plot?

Keqing : yes of course

Keqing : So there are seven archons, the anemo archon, geo archon, pyro archon, dendro archon, electro archon(s) , cryo archon, and the hydro archon. 

Keqing : Also, I thought you were aware that we couldn't share the plot with other students other than the cast.

Zhongli : Apologies, I must have forgotten then.

Ningguang : Ganyu, the roles?

Ganyu : ah yes wait a moment  

Yunjin is online

Yanfei is online

Hu tao is online

Ei is online

Makoto is online

Aether is online

Lumine is online

Venti is online

 

Ganyu : Venti : Anemo archon. Zhongli : Geo archon. Ei and Makoto : Electro archons. Murata : Pyro archon. Kusanali : Dendro archon. Fontaine : Hydro archon.

The tsaritsa : Cryo archon. 

Xiao is online

Ei : Zhongli, aren't you supposed to be rehearsing too?

Makoto : Zhongli, aren't you supposed to be rehearsing too?

Venti : yea ganyu you too 

Ei is offline

Makoto is offline

Xiao has added (1) members

Shenhe is online

Venti : OMG SHEN IS THAT YOU

Shenhe : Venti?

Zhongli : Everyone, you guys should rehearse the lines. 

Venti : YA

Shenhe : oh, hi

Venti : hi

Xiao : btw shenhe is gonna transfer here

Venti : OMG RRLy

Ganyu : Xiao : The Vigilant Yaksha. Ganyu (me) : half-qilin adeptus. Shenhe : An adepti disciple. Yanfei : half-adeptus. Director Ningguang : Tainquan of the liyue qixing.

Ganyu : WAIT WHAT 

Yanfei : AND YOU GUYS DIDNT TELL USS???

Zhongli : Everyone will have their role by the end of the day. You will be informed if you didnt make it into the cast.

Ningguang : EVERYONE GO REHEARSE 

Ningguang : Oh and before i forget, Venti and Xiao I need you guys speak with you guys.

Venti : right

Xiao : alright

Ganyu is offline

Ningguang is offline

Venti is offline

Keqing is online

Xiao is offline

Beidou is offline

Yanfei is offline

Shenhe is offline

Zhongli is offline

Hu tao : OMG I AM A FUNERAL DIRECTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aether : traveler sounds lame

Lumine : traveler sounds lame

Aether is offline

Lumine is offline

Yunjin is offline

Kaeya is offline

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

12:51 am

Teyvat high 

 

Keaya is online

Kaeya : wait @Rosaria did you get the vid

Rosaria is online

Rosaria : what vid

Kaeya : the venti and xiao beating up child

Rosaria : why r u asking now

Rosaria : but yeah i do

Kaeya : omg sned 

Rosaria : sned Xiaoandventibeatchild

kaeya : OMG LALSLLSLAKSKDNJ

Jean is online

Jean : why is venri and xiao sititng on chidl?

Jean : shit mh speeling is atrooufidj

Kaeya : oh heeeeyyy jeanaaa

Rosaria : HAHAHHAHAGSHVDJDJD JEANAAA????

Jean :

Jean is offline

Venti is online

Venti has changed Jean to jeanaa

Venti is offline

Rosaria : dman

Kaeya : BAHAHHSJSHDUJDJDKDKKSLKDLC@$&@@£^*+
Rosaria : kaeya?

Kaeya is offline

Diluc is online

Diluc : Threat neutralized. 

Diluc is offline

Rosaria : OH AHIT HAHAHSHS HAHSH

Rosaria : anyways

Rosaria is offline

Chapter Text


1:05 pm

Teyvat high

 

Venti is online

Venti : guys i got a letter in my locker 

Lisa is online

Jean is online

Xiao is online

Venti : and they wanted to meet at the Windrise tree

Venti : not far from here

Zhongli is online

Ganyu is online

Venti : i walk there and i see a girl standing ther

 

Xiao : So like a romance show confession?

 

Venti : YES

Venti : im scared tbh

 

Ganyu :  how do you lnow that the sender wanted to confess?

 

Venti :  idk but it. loojd liek it

kaeya is online

 

Kaeya : Oh? the twink has a admieeerer

 

Lisa : Kaeyq you nimwit

Lisa : @Venti i totz think its a confession

 

Venti : IM SCARED

Venti : ALL THE SHOWS HAVE THE LOVE INTREST ACC WE PR WHAT DO JD DI

 

Lisa : oh god

 

Jean : Venti, calm down.

Jean : How do you know if it is a love confession?

 

Kaeya : WHAT DO MEAN????

|

Venti : ALL THE SHOWS HAVE THE LOVE INTREST ACC WE PR WHAT DO JD DI

 

Venti : bc i havent heard of any other project in ny classed

 

Jean : Alright. Anyone got any tips?

 

Venti : accept

|

Kaeya : WHAT DO MEAN????

  |

  Venti : ALL THE SHOWS   HAVE THE LOVE INTREST ACC WE PR WHAT DO JD DI

 

Zhongli : @Ei @Makoto

 

Ei is online

Makoto is online

 

Ei : oh?

 

Makoto : oh?

 

Zhongli : Got any tips for Venti?

 

Ei : run away from her

 

Makoto : fight her

 

Jean : thats mildly concerning

 

Lisa : mildy~

 

Venti : shut up lisa

Venti : i am going through a mid life crisis m

Venti : HELP WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOIOOOOOO

 

Xiao : light her on fire

 

Makoto : VIOLENCE VIOLENCE VIOLENCE VIOLENCE VIOLENCE

 

Ei : i thought you were gay?

 

Venti : I AN WHAT DO IDO

Venti : WHERE IS YAR WHAF TOU NEDC HER

 

Ei : cry

 

Makoto : cry

 

Ei has added (1) members

Scaramouche is online

 

Scaramouche : what the actual flying fuck is this

 

Ei : do not be so rude

 

Makoto has changed Scaramouche to scara

 

Scara :

 

Ei : Venti needs love advice

 

Scara : i do not have love advice

 

Venti : sim going to cry

Venti : im going to run away

Venti : and not talk to her

 

Xiao : I should do that.

 

Venti : does this mean that you have a admirer?~

 

Xiao : Yeah.

Xiao : Wait aren't you supposed to be having a mental breakdown?

 

Zhongli : Oh?

 

Makoto : @Venti be brav

 

Venti : HWYA IS THAT SUPPOSEDED TO MEAN????

 

Makoto : it means go talk to that fucking lady

 

Venti : BUT I. SCARED

Venti : HEPPOO

Hu tao is online

Hu tao : yo you should go

 

Venti : WHAT NO

Venti : IM SCARED PLSSPSKSJDK

Childe is online

Ei has changed Scara to Kuni

Venti : GINGER DO YOU HAVE KWORDDS OF ENCOUUSRGEMENT

 

Kuni : WTF

 

Childe :

Childe : no

 

Ei : L

 

Makoto : L

Kuni is offline

Childe : but go for it comrade

Childe : give the girl an asnwrr

 

Hu tao : WAIT @Rosaria

Rosaria is online

Rosaria : what

 

Hu tao : can you got o windrise tree and record venti

 

Rosaria : bet

 

Hu tao : BE FAST THO

 

Rosaria : k

Rosaria is offline

Ganyu : oh no

Venti is offline

Zhongli is offline

Ei is offline

Makoto is offline

Ganyu is offline

Hu tao is offline

Childe is offline

Xiao is offline

Jean is offline

Lisa : no goodbyes?~

Lisa : hmp

Lisa is offline

 


2:38 pm

si bl in gs + shenhe

 

Gay is online

Fei is online

Xi is online

Qi is online

 

Xi : Hypothetically, if I were to knock someone out will I go to jail?

 

Fei : WHYA

 

Qi : qiqi forgot… what is a asshole?

 

Gay :

Gay : who taught you that word sweetie? :)

 

Xi : Oh no.

 

Qi : qiqi

Qi : qiqi forgot… sorry…please do not hit qiqi…

 

Gay : Oh! Heavens no! I would never hurt you Qiqi!

 

Qi : ….promise?

 

Gay : I promise.

 

Xi : Yanfei answer my question.

 

Fei :

Fei : Possibly

 

Xi :

Xi : Whos gonna bail me out.

 

Fei : WHAT

 

Qi : qiqi is confused…

Qi : what is…a twink?

 

Gay : what.

 

Qi : did qiqi say something wrong again…?

 

Gay : Oh no!

Gay : Just where did you hear the word from? :)

 

Qi : mr…

Qi : orange hair…qiqi forgot his name

Qi : he said that…v

Qi : venti…was a gay twink

Qi : what is a gay?

 

Gay : Its when a person likes the same gender! Like Xiao! :)

 

Xi : WHAT

 

Qi : oh qiqi understands

Qi : kind of

 

Fei : woww xiaoo i didnt know you were gayyyy

 

Xi : I am not.

 

Qi : so xiao is not a gay?

 

Gay : No! No! He is, hes just in denial. :)

 

Qi : does this mean you are a gay too?

 

Xi : She is.

Xi : She has a nice girlfriend named Keqing.

 

Gay : XIAO

 

Qi : can qiqi meet your girlfriend ganyu

 

Gay : uh

Gay : of course!

 

Qi : is fei gay too

 

Fei : Yep! and i have a nice girlfriend named Hu tao :)

 

Qi : qiqi does not like hu tao as much

 

Fei : ooh can i know why?

 

Qi : fake smile

Qi : death

Qi : i despise hu tao

 

Fei :

Fei : understandable

 

Qi : qiqi is glad

 

Xi : We have to go, sorry Qiqi.

 

Qi : qiqi has to go too

Qi : bye bye

 

Xi : Bye.

 

Fei : Bye Bye!

Xi is offline

Gay : Bye qiqi, have a great rest of the day and I will text you as soon as I get off okay? :)

 

Qi : okay

Fei is offline

Gay is offline

Qi is offline


5:49 pm

Teyvat high

 

Lisa is online

Lisa : @Venti

Venti is online

Venti : yesss?

 

Lisa : so was it a confessionnn??????

 

Venti : oh yea

Venti : it wad

 

Lisa : LMAO

Lisa : WAIT @Rosaria

Lisa : YOU GIT THE VID TIGT

Rosaria is online

Rosaria : yea

Rosaria : lmao.vid

 

Lisa : AHAGAHAHAH

Lisa : SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE KILLED HER PARENTS IN FRONT OF BER

jeanaa is online

jeanaa : What happened to Lisa? Shes crying-laughing on the library floor.

jeanaa : Oh.

 

Venti : punch lisa

 

Lisa : WHYA  NJ

Lisa : NI DON. DO IR

 

Rosaria : ill do it

Rosaria is offline

Lisa : WHAT WAIT JI GSJXHEKNDKF

Lisa is offline

jeanaa :

jeanaa : i cant anymore

Diluc is online

jeanaa is offline

Diluc : Why did Jean just sigh really loudly?

Diluc : Oh.

Yanfei is online

Diluc is offline

Yanfei : did you guys know that xiao is gaNDHDOXKK

Yanfei is offline

Venti : L

Xiao is online

Hu tao is online

Hu tao : FEIFEI BABY BOOKIIOOO

Xiao : Threat eliminated.

Xiao is offline

Xingqiu is online

Xingqiu : BOOKS????!!!

Xingqiu : oh

Xingqiu is offline

Venti : @Barbara

Venti : Did they give you the song yet?

Barbara is online

Barbara :  Yep! ‘Into you’ by Paramore!

Venti :  Thanks! Ill tell Xiao

Venti is offline

Barbara is offline

 

Chapter Text

 


2:34 am

Teyvat high

 

????????? added ?????????

????????? has added (5+) members

?????????? has changed 20+ members names

????????? has left the chat


5:38

Teyvat high

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy is online

c’monfuckmeemoboy : @Everyone MORNING

c’monfuckmeemoboy : WAIT WHAT

horny is online

alchemist’sgf is online

chalky is online

buffgirl is online

c’monfuckmeemoboy : JAVSIDHDIJEID

horny : LMAO WHO IS THAT

horny : 

horny : who did this

sugarbaby#1 is online

iwannafuckyouprettyboy is online

horny : OMG THERES THE MATCH

iwannafuckyouprettyboy : what the fuck is this

iwannafuckyouprettyboy : 

iwannafuckyouprettyboy : i

sugardaddy#1 is online

sugarmommy#2 is online

sugarbaby#2 is online

chalky : It has come to my attention that a unknown entity hacked its way into this groupchat and changed peoples names. 

girl is online

boy is online

girl : listen up folks

boy : we are gonna play a game

girl : we will have to guess who that person is 

boy : based off of their name

sugarbaby#1 : What is a “Deez nuts” ?

c’monfuckmeemoboy : thats zhongli

boy : is @c’monfuckmeemoboy correct @sugarbaby#1

sugarbaby#1 : Yes.

girl : alrighty

hookedupwithkaeya is online

hasrexlapisshrine is online

girl has changed sugarbaby#1 to zhongli

mapleman is online

cat+tiddies is online

sugarmommy#2 : what is this.

sugarbaby#2 : hey mommy

boy has disabled online/offline msg

hookedupwithkaeya : WTF WHI KNIWS

iwannafuckyouprettyboy : Thats a long name

iwannafuckyouprettyboy : im gonna jump off of a cliff

manboobs : venti?

iwannafuckyouprettyboy : no

girl : manboobs = kaeya

girl : cuz who else would guess for venti

manboobs : damn am i really known for having man boobs

boy changed manboobs to kaeya

alchemist’sgf : What is deez nuts?

 

 

 

TBC

 

Chapter Text


5:48 pm

Teyvat high

 

helpedherblowupaguy : if you guys tell her what it is i will throw you into the abyss

helpedherblowupaguy : wait did my name change

 

mayormaynothaveblownupaguy : oh

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : albedo and sucrose????

 

mayormaynothaveblownupaguy : I, am Sucrose yes

 

helpedherblowupaguy : I am Albedo

girl changed mayormaynothaveblownupaguy to sucrose

boy changed helpedherblowupaguy to albedo

c’monfuckmeemoboy : YAYAYYAYAYAHA

 

mayormaynothaveblownupaguy : How did you know?

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : well you guys cloud blow people up also lucky guess

 

mayormaynothaveblownupaguy : oh

 

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : Quite smart indeed.

 

theonethatgotintrouble : so true babe

 

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : What

 

theonethatgotintrouble : what

 

hasrexlapisshrine : the tension icant

hasrexlapisshrine :

hasreslapisshrine : im going to cry

 

hasrexlapisshrine#2 : Oh? What happened here?

hasreslapisshrine#2 :

hasreslapisshrine#2 : Oh.

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : LMAO REXLAP IS SIMOS

 

hasreslapisshrine : stfu venti

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : HUH HOW DID YOU KNIW IT WAS ME???

 

hasreslapisshrine : i was told that you have an emo crush

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : stfu cocogoat simp

 

hasreslapisshrine :

hasreslapisshrine : im

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : what? cat got your tongue?

 

hasreslapisshrine : SHUR YP

 

c’monfuckmeemoboy : ehe~

girl changed c’monfuckmeemoboy to venti

girl : ok so

 

boy : i didnt know venti was that horny

 

venti : STFU

 

boy : bruh you crush on an emo

 

venti : aye there i will attack you with my bow from across the room and i will tie your body on the flagpole in front of the school

 

girl : can i help

 

venti : ofc you can

 

boy : HEY THATS NOT NICE

 

sugardaddy#1 : wtf wheres zhongli

 

venti : fuck you child

 

swoonsovereula : why are you even using a bow

 

hasreslapisshrine#2 : Your posture is terrible.

 

sugardaddy#1 : You’re*

 

venti :

venti : you fucking idiot

venti : ganyu was right

 

hasreslapisshrine#2 : how did  you know i was Ganyu?

 

venti : you worship rexlapis

venti : you use a bow

girl changed hasreslapisshrine#2 to ganyu

venti : i saw your rexlapis fan page

 

ganyu : OKAY OKAY I GET IT

 

swoonsovereula : back to childe

 

venti : WHO THROWS AN ARROW???

 

ganyu : RIGHT

 

isinafurryphase : RIGHT

 

startedawarinmiddleschool : HOW DOES ONE DO MOREDAMAGE WHEN THROWING AN ARROW THANJ DOING IT CORRECLY

 

venti : THAT SHITS TERRIFING

 

swoonsovereula : IM TERRIFIED

venti renamed this chat to ‘child hate club’

sugardaddy#1 : HEY ITS CHILD WITH AN E

 

venti : okay if you say so

venti renamed this chat to ‘child with an e hate club’

sugardaddy#1 : is this because i beokw one of your bows when i was practicing?

 

venti : NOT ONLY ONE

venti : YOU BROKE 5

venti : THEY WERE MY FAVORITES

 

sugardaddy#1 : whatever gay midget

 

setatoasteronfire : BREAKING NEWS : Teyvat high’s 2nd council president ties a ginger guy twice his height on a flagpole!

 

verylonelybitch : BREAKING NEWS : Teyvat high’s bow wielders preform a lobotomy on a ginger guy!

 

wantstodateventi : im going to cry

wantstodateventi : WTF WHY SID MY NAME CHANGE AGAIN

wantstodateventi : IM GOING TO CRY

 

hasreslapisshrine : venti

 

venti : yeeessss?

 

hasreslapisshrine : how did you know that was ganyu

 

venti : I have my resources, Keqing

 

hasreslapisshrine : HUH NO IT ISNT ME

hasreslapisshrine : YOU GAY LITTLE TWINK

venti has changed hasreslapisshrine to keqing

venti has changed sugardaddy#1 to child

child : childE

 

venti : nahnah

venti : ginger opinions do not matter

 

aloy : ????

 

venti :

venti : not to you tho

 

aloy : oh okay

 

venti : im going to make a few guesses

venti : uhhh

venti : sugarmommy#2 is ningguang?

 

sugarmommy#2 : huh

sugarmommy#2 : Yes, you are correct.

 

venti : then sugarbaby#2 would be beidou

venti : cuz they r like dating

 

sugarbaby#2 : mommy ning

 

venti : uh

 

ganyu : thats gay

 

sugarbaby#2 : GANYU??

 

ganyu : beidou

 

venti : venti!!

 

keqing : how did i even get here

keqing : i dont even know who you guys are

 

wantstodateventi : shes going crazy

 

venti : who are you

 

wantstodateventi : you dont need to know

 

ganyu : wait

ganyu : LMAO

 

wantstodateventi : shut

 

ganyu : jeez

 

venti : ganyu tell me

 

ganyu : nag

ganyu : nah

 

venti : :(

 

setatoasteronfire : that wont work on them

 

venti : :((

 

verylonelybitch : aww venti

verylonelybitch : ill tell you!!!

 

venti : rlly??

 

verylonelybitch : yep!

 

venti : :D

 

setatoasteronfire : nope

setatoasteronfire : she wont

 

verylonelybitch : what

 

venti : what

venti : why wont anyone tell meeeee

 

setatoasteronfire : because

setatoasteronfire : you are so oblivious

 

verylonelybitch : very

 

ganyu : ^

 

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : omg is that who i think it is

 

theonethatgotintrouble : so true babe

 

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil :

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : are you tomo?

 

theonethatgotintrouble : you are so right

theonethatgotintrouble : babe

 

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : You know who i am?

 

theonethatgotintrouble : yeah

theonethatgotintrouble : my babe

theonethatgotintrouble : kazuha

 

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : you

almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil : are right

sugarmommy#2 changed sugarmommy#2 to ningguang

ningguang changed sugarbaby#2 to beidou

IsATherapistForAlmostEveryone changed almostgotintotroublewiththecouncil to kazuha

IsATherapistForAlmostEveryone changed theonethatgotintrouble to tomo

venti : guys

venti : i

venti : nvm

 

trippedoffofaclifftwice : guys i think i have been exposed to radioactive waste

 

spokenonsensefor24hours : I, Fischl, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, has descend upon this chat to inform you of Sir Bennett’s current state! Sir Bennett had descended harshly down thy jagged earthy landform east of thy building where citizens gain knowledge from.

 

staresatpicturesofamber : Noted.

 

venti : is bennett still down there?

 

hasatattoosleeve : of course he is

hasatattoosleeve : oh it changed again

ganyu changed hasatattoosleeve to xiao

venti :

venti : wait who was ‘wantstodateventi’

 

ganyu : yes

 

keqing : WHERE AM I

 

venti : uh

 

keqing : YU WHO ARE YOU

keqing : I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE

 

venti : keqings sanity = gone

 

child : shes better than you

 

venti : ok ed sheeran wannabe

 

ganyu : girl you know i want your love

 

girl : your love was hand made for somebody like me

 

venti : come on now follow my lead

 

child : OKAY OKAY

 

keqing :  VENTI WHO ATE YOU

 

venti : HUH

 

keqing : WHO ARE YOU

 

venti : I AM VENTI

 

xiao : Idiots, all of you.

 

venti : hes doing the diluc thing

 

criedoverkaeya : What do you mean?

criedoverkaeya :

 

venti :

venti : im

 

xiao : Let him figure it out, Starbucks drink.

 

venti : HUH

 

keqing : VENTI

 

venti : uh oh

 

keqing : I WILL FIND YOU

 

venti : HUH

 

keqing : MARK MY WORDS VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE

 

staresatpicturesofamber : so proud

 

swoonsovereula : proud mother

 

venti : I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING

keqing has left child with an E  hate club

criedoverkaeya : wait we can do that?

 

venti : Idiots, all of you.

 

boy : AYO


5:59 pm

BD -> CD

 

CD : I’m alive

CD : bitch

Chapter Text


1:37 pm

feb 16

child with an E hate club

 

boy : yk this is kinda boring

 

girl : yeah

 

boy : lets just reset the names

 

girl : we can do that?

 

boy : ofc idiot

 

girl : ok wait

boy has reset 20+ peoples names

aether : better

 

lumine : AETHER

lumine : I SAID I WAS DOING IT

 

aether : too bad

aether added (1) members

lumine : @keqing

lumine : did you ever find venti

 

keqing : oh yeah

keqing : i still need to find him

 

venti : what did i ever do to you

 

keqing : exist

 

venti : oh.

 

kaeya : big L man

 

venti : stfu

 

sucrose :

 

venti : SUCROSE HI

 

sucrose : Hello!

 

lumine : SUCROSE HIHI

lumine : anyways sucrose

lumine : how do you blow some one up

 

sucrose : I didn’t blow anyone up!!!

 

lumine : awh

 

sucrose : I’m sure you can ask Mr. Albedo though!!

 

albedo : Sucrose please, I told you to stop calling me ‘Mr. Albedo’ we are the same age.

 

sucrose : Right!! Sorry sir!

 

albedo :

 

kaeya : hey sucrose

 

sucrose : Yes?

 

kaeya : do you know what kinks are

 

sucrose : no?

 

albedo : I will poison your lunch, Kaeya.

 

sucrose : what is it?

 

aether : HELP MR LUMINES GOT A ROLLING PIN SIDUIFNSOOSO&:8

 

venti : i bet he eats kids

 

keqing : you look like you eat kids

 

venti : i thought you didn’t kniw who i am ????!??

 

keqing : i found you.

 

venti : you have purple hair right?

 

keqing : yes.

 

venti : i dont see anybody with purple hair around me

 

keqing : huh?

keqing :

 

kaeya : yo this girl with purple cat hair ear ponytail thing keeps stairing at me

 

venti : LMOA WHERE YOU LOOKKING AT KAEYA???

 

keqing :

keqing : i

keqing : cant belibe this

 

venti : are you still going to find me tho

 

keqing : yes wait

 

venti : kk

 

kaeya : aether my man are you goid?

 

lumine : hes gone

 

venti : huh wym

 

lumine : i tied him up

 

venti : why would you tue him updtwrwgehrg

 

kaeya : venti?

 

aether : LMAO LU BEHIND YOU

 

lumine : OMG

lumine : wait

 

aether : i got to go to class

aether : byebye

 

lumine : COME BACK HERE

 

keqing : holy shit

keqing : this guy looks adorable

keqing : my baby

 

venti : im not a baby

 

keqing : my baby

 

venti : im

 

jean : WHO DID THt

diluc has left child with an E hate club

venti : HELP

 

jean : oh

jean : did you cause that venti

 

venti : no but

venti : HELP

 

jean : what did you do?

 

venti : NOTHING KEQING FOUND ME AND DECIDED TO SUFFOCATE ME IN A BEAR HUGOSJDOD&:8:&;8/8:!

 

jean : venti?

jean :

jean : sigh

 

lisa : @xiao

 

kaeya : @xiao

 

lumine : whya re we tagging ciao

lumine : xiao

 

kaeya : keqing is suffocating venti

 

lumine : oh

lumine : wait

 

aether : @xiao

 

xiao : What do you want.

 

aether : your boyfriend is getting suffocated

 

xiao : my what

 

xingqiu : he was so shocked he forgot how to grammar

 

aether :

aether : @zhongli

 

zhongli : Is there anything you need Aether?

 

aether : tell xiao to rescue his boyfriend

 

zhongli : Xiao, go rescue your boyfriend, Venti.

 

xiao : WE ARE NOT DATING

 

zhongli : Go rescue him.

 

hu tao : yo why did xiao sigh and start sprinting

hu tao : oh

 

keqing : YPU CANT KEEP ME AWAY FROM MY BABY

 

ei : Small enough to be a baby.

 

makoto : yo was that an explosion

 

jean :

jean : sigh

 

lisa : jean we can play a relaxing game of chess if you know what i mean~ ;)

 

jean :

jean : that

jean : that would be nice, thanks

 

ganyu : what do you mean?

 

beidou : me and ning played chess yesterday

 

ningguang : Its ‘Ning and I’

 

beidou : wtvr

 

venti : jaisodk@/!8:99;&;

 

ganyu : venti?

 

lumine : where is hu tao when you need he

 

hu tao : you called

 

lumine : how do you hide a body

 

hu tao : ooh!! lemme dm it to you!!!

 

zhongli : has anyone seen Childe?

 

keqing : MY BABY NOOO

 

ganyu : i thought i was your baby though?

 

keqing : no my child

 

zhongli : Who is your child? If I may ask.

 

ei : Venti.

 

makoto : im gonna beat someone up

 

eula : approved

 

barbara : venti did you practice yet?

 

venti : yes i did

venti : xiao did too

 

barbara : good good

barbara : also why are you guys late?

 

venti : OH SHIT

venti : SORRY KEQING WAS SUFFOCATING ME IN A BEAR HUG AND WOULDNT LET GO

 

barbara : oh

barbara : and xiao?

 

venti : he saved me from her

 

barbara : please hurry up

 

keqing : MY BABY

 

ganyu : honey is something wrong?

 

keqing : our child got kidnapped

 

ganyu : who is our child?

 

keqing : venti

 

venti : I AM NOT YOUR CHILD

 

ganyu : keqing honey

ganyu : did you know hes my brother-in-law?

 

venti : WIAT HUH

venti : EI MAKOTO ZHONGLI SAVE ME

 

ei : i dont know man

 

makoto : we all thought you were like engaged to xiao

 

ei : ^

 

zhongli : I agree with the statement above.

 

venti : KAISJFKDJSOFJFKF

 

xingqiu : ONG VENTI X EI CONFIRMED???

 

venti : i

 

hu tao : YOO LOOK AT THE NEW COUNCIL PREZ TRANSFER FROM INAZUMA

hu tao : girl.img

hu tao : she says her name is ei

 

beidou : OMG IS THAT VENTI IN THE BACKROUNF

 

xingqiu : eiven cannon??

 

hu tao : OH SHIT VENTI TACKLED HER

hu tao : VENTINO.img

 

xingqiu : AYO

 

xiao : They’re cousins.

 

xingqiu : wait

xingqiu : what.

 

hu tao : venti is so short compared to them LMAO

 

xingqiu : them?

 

hu tao : ei venti and zhongli

hu tao : well xiao too

 

xingqiu : then ZHONGVEN CANNON

 

chongyun : WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING CANNON

 

xiao : THEY ARE COUSINS

xiao : HOW DUMB ARE YOU

 

xingqiu : oh

 

xiao : 

 

xingqiu : i

 

hu tao : venti whispered something to themi

hu tao : HOLY DHIT THEYVARE SPRINTING AEATA

hu tao : ZHONGLI JUST YELLED FAMILY MATTERS

 

xingqiu : wait this could be a great event for my novel

 

hu tao : VENTI YELLED SORRY BARBS

 

yae : you write?

 

xingqiu : venti does too

 

yae : kokomi does too!

yae : i dont think she has time to check her phone tho

 

xingqiu : shame

 

ayato : QUICK SOMEONE GIVE ME SLIME CONDENSATE

 

xiangling : I GOT PLENTY

 

ayato : WHERE ARE YOU

ayato : ME AND MY SISTER ARRIVED TO THE SVHOOL EARLY

 

xiangling : LEMME DM YIU

 

ayato : KK

 

xingqiu : soooo are you guys dating anyone?

 

yae : well, kazuha im pretty sure is dating tomo. ayato and thoma, ayaka and yoimiya thats all i think

 

xingqiu : ok so

xingqiu : me and chongyun are dating, ganyu and keqing, uhh i think thats all

 

beidou : WAIT you forgot me and ning

beidou : and jean and lisa

 

xingqiu : OHH RIGHT

 

hu tao : they are gone

 

yae : anyone have any crushes?

 

xingqiu : WAIT IMA DM THE CRUSHEs

 

yae : oooo

 

xingqiu -> yae

 

xingqiu : well this is gonna be a long convo lol

xingqiu : WAIT I MADE A DOC

 

yae : oo~ so juicy~

 

xingqiu : crushes.doc

xingqiu : HAVE FUN!!!!’

 

yae : i will thanks~

 


feb 16

5:37 pm

child with an E hate club

 

kokomi : is there a book club in teyvat high?

 

venti : yes

 

kokomi : good to know

 

jean : VENTI DID YOU SKIP SCHOOL

 

venti : oh ya whoops

 

kaeya : why dont you retire?

 

venti : excuse me?

 

kaeya : you should make jean the council principal

 

venti : no.

 

kaeya : the principal is gonna replace you with jean

 

venti :

 

ei : hes too cute to be replaced

 

makoto : hes too cute to be replaced

 

zhongli : I agree.

 

hu tao : WAIT URGENT MATTRS

 

zhongli : Yes?

 

hu tao : WHEN YOU GUYS RAN OFF AND YOU YELLED FAMILY MATTERS

 

zhongli : I do recall, yes.

 

hu tao : WHY DID CIAO COME WITH

 

zhongli : He has knowledge of Venti’s family backstory. Of course he had to come.

 

hu tao : jeez you grandpa

venti has added (1) members  to child with an E hate club

venti has locked the groupchat

diluc : why did you add me back

 

venti : One shall pay for their sins

 

ei : You shall be stuck with us

 

makoto : There is no escape

 

zhongli : Don’t even try.

 

kaeya : holy shit

 

diluc :

 

jean : what did you do?

 

ei : We where hanging out with someone right?

 

makoto : And this red haired lizard decides to attack him.

 

venti : Diluc(Derogatory)

 

lisa : what did he do?

 

kaeya : ive never seen venti being serious

 

diluc : what did i do to deserve this

 

venti : That’s why jean broke up with you in 7th grade.

 

barbara : HUH

 

ei : Miko, come.

 

yae : Yes ma’am.

 

kaeya : holy shit

 

venti : im going to get some wine

 

makoto : Xiao, go assist Venti.

 

xiao : Why me?

 

ei : You guys are practically dating so go.

 

xiao :

 

zhongli : Go on, I don’t want him to get hurt.

 

yae : Go loverboy~

 

barbara : aww

 

xiao : uhh

 

hu tao : ciao?

 

xiao : Venti is trying to force feed me wine.

 

zhongli : oh no

 

xiao : he chugged a couple bottles


feb 16

7:39 pm

child with an E hate club

 

aether : the first thing i hear when i get back to my dorm is music

aether : which is normal

aether : but what isnt normal is venti and xiao holding microphones

 

hu tao : HUH

hu tao : RECORD

 

aether : they are having a duet

 

zhongli : Oh no, are there any wine bottles near them?

 

aether : yes

 

ei : They’re both drunk.

 

aether : WAIT THEY ARE SINGING

 

makoto : do you know this song?

 

aether : no

aether : i can ask when they are sober tho

 

makoto : okay

 

aether : WAIT LOKK ventiandxiaosinging.mp3

 

makoto : IT CUT OFF

 

ei : i didnt know xiao could sing

ei : wait mako do you still have that recording of when i was forced to preform with ven?

 

makoto : wait

makoto : HERE PatchworkStaccatoFt,VenandEi.vid

 

zhongli : Ah, I remember that.

 

lumine : VENTI CAN PLAY THE PIANO??

 

ei : and the flute, violin, guitar

ei : thats what he could play when he moved in with us i think

 

mona : DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT BARBATOS IS GONNA RELEASE A SINGLE???

 

makoto : dont forget the lyre

 

ei : barbatos?

ei : oh whoops

 

makoto : uh

 

zhongli : hm

 

xingqiu : shocked so bad zhongli forgot grammar

 

aether : something wrong?

 

zhongli : No, not at all.

 

mona : ITS GONNA BE CALLED UH

 

barbara : ROKI

barbara : MAYBE IT WILL FEATURE ALATUS AGAIN!!!

 

zhongli : Alatus?

 

barbara : hes a singer featured in some of barbatos songs!!

 

mona : THEY ARE ROUMORED TO BR DATING

 

barbara : YEA

 

mona : whats their ship name again?

 

barbara : uh

barbara : Alabatos? idk

 

mona : hm do you think they will release a music vid this time?

 

barbara : hopefully

 

zhongli : uh

 

ei : this is awkward

 

makoto : very

 

barbara : do you know something we dont?

 

ei : no.

 

mona : thats a lie

 

makoto :

 

barbara : its okay! you guys can tell us!

 

aether : wait i lied they dont have microphones

 

zhongli : What do they have then?

 

aether : hair brushes

 

ei : oh

 

makoto : oh

 

aether : they are singing along to last friday night now

 

kazuha : i dont think thats singing

 

aether : yelling

aether : wait

 

kazuha : im behind you btw

 

aether : HUH

 

lumine : oh

 

beidou : mee anfg ningg are gonnba plstt cheddm

 

lumine : ??????

 

ningguang : yesd we are doinbbsb plady cejsd

 

shenhe : wait.

shenhe : Xiao? Singing?

 

yanfei : WHAT

 

ganyu : xiao singing??? :O

 

venti : bii

 

yanfei : are you okay?

 

ei : hes drunk

 

xiao : ksisxjb

 

ganyu : XIAO??

 

zhongli : hes also drunk

 

yanfei : HOW??

 

ganyu : HE HAS HIGH ALCOHOL TOLERANCE WHAT???

 

ei : so does venti

 

makoto : @aether how many bottles of wine are there

 

aether : at least uh

aether : 40?

 

kazuha : nope 194

 

yanfei : uh

 

kazuha :

v: come give me a kiss

x : okay

 

ei : AYO

 

makoto : WHAT

 

zhongli : Thats gay.

 

aether : xiao swept venti off of his feet, bending forward while he lowers the other.

 

kazuha : Xiao leans in getting lost in Ventis blue eyes. He leans in until there is barley any space separating them. Ventis hand reaches up and cradles the others face.

 

makoto : MY COUSIN IS FINALLY GROWING UP

 

ei : IM SO BUNGHMK

 

yae : its okay to ask for a kiss my dear~

 

ei : YES GIVE ME A KISs

 

yae : if you say so~

 

ayato : who knew the almighty ei could easily fold under yae ;)

 

thoma : do not

 

ayato : of course dear~

 

lumine : gross

 

jean : what

 

barbara : jean??

 

kazuha : who knew xiao was top

 

lisa : what

 

yanfei : my half brother is finally grown up ;’)

 

ganyu : hes older than you

 

yanfei : stfu

 

aether : LMAO CARELESS WHISPER STARTED PLAYING

 

kazuha : THEY ARE KISSING

kazuha : WHILE THERE ARE KISSING

 

tomo : i miss youuu :((

tomo : kazuhaa

 

kazuha : yes?

 

tomo : café?

 

kazuha : of course!!

 

tomo : ILL PICK YOU UP

 

aether : wtf is it start dating your crush day today

 

sucrose : I believe that it was valentines day a few days ago.

 

aether : ITS NO LINGER VALENTINES???

 

albedo : Hey Sucrose.

 

sucrose : Yes?

 

aether : DMS EXIST

 

albedo : Right.

 

lumine : gross

 

aether : ur single

 

lumine : im aro/ace

 

aether : oh im not

 

lumine : ur single

lumine : also

 

aether : what

 

lumine : you might wanna leave

 

aether : what?

 

ei : they might

 

makoto : do yk

 

aether : ??

 

zhongli : Intercourse.

 

aether : OHH

aether : NO IM TOO LATE

 

lumine : AETEHR NOO

 

hu tao : huh

 

yanfei : hello :)

 

hu tao : what happened here

 

yanfei : venti and xiao got drunk, started singing together, kazuha and aether walks in on them, starts to narrate them, kazuha said

‘v: give me kiss

x: okay,’

then this kiss, they might be doing yk rn tho

 

hu tao : oh

 

yoimiya : beautiful recap!!

 

ganyu : WAIT THEY ARE DOING WHAT

 

yanfei : THEY ARE DOING THE DEED

 

ganyu : OMG

 

keqing : guys i found this phone on the ground

keqing : whom does this device belong to?

 

ganyu : keqing

 

keqing : do you know where she is rn?

 

ningguang : shrbr wallkef in on m rn and bei playing chddd

 

eula : ‘she walked in on me and beidou playing chess,’

 

keqing : oh

keqing : well im gonna ho findhidhci$;8,

 

ganyu : stranger?

 

keqing : i hot my phone back

 

yanfei : do you know who had it?

 

keqing : she said her name was ‘Yun jin’

 

shenhe : oh her

 

ganyu : you know her??

 

shenhe : she wrote a song with ven once

 

aether : wait

 

lumine : i dont think xiao has ever called venti venti

 

aether : ^

 

keqing : IS MY BABY OKAY???

 

yanfei : he might be doing yk with xiao rn

 

keqing : WHAT

keqing : WHEN DID XIAO MAN UP

 

ei : they’re drunk

 

keqing : oh

 

xiangling : beidou screamed ‘congrats on getting some’

 

xingqiu : so true

 

aether : anyways

aether : kazuha said that him and tomo arent dating

 

beidou : WHAT

 

ningguang : shocking

 

lumine : werent you guys fucking?

 

beidou : shawty sometimes you gotta stop fucking around and deal with the real world

 

ningguang : ^

 

aether : oh

 

diluc : where is kaeya.

 

albedo : Where is Kaeya.

 

sucrose : I swear to god if someone steals from the lab one more time I will lose it.

 

noelle : what happened?

 

albedo : Kaeya tampered with my experiment and someone is stealing from the lab.

 

noelle : Oh! Well, I saw Childe sneaking out of the lab earlier if that helps!

 

sucrose : Thank you Noelle :) You are great help!

 

noelle : Glad to be of service :)

 

childe : wheres zhongli

 

albedo : Listen up Child, you better return what you stole frim the lab.

 

childe : uh

 

scaramouche : wa

 

ei : wait

 

makoto : venti?? drinking???

 

zhongli : Oh I forgot to inform you, he started drinking a few weeks after moving out of your household.

 

ei : What the fuck

 

makoto : did you forget grammar lmao

 

ei : Yes, I did.

 

lumine : WAIT DIDNT KAZUHA AND TOMAS OR WHATEVER GO ON A DATE??? AND THEY ARENT DATING???

 

aether : huh

 

ei : fr

 

makoto : fr

 

zhongli : You guys make no sense.

 

sucrose : TARTAGLISBD COME BAVK HERE

 

childe : shit

 

aether : start running bitch boy

 

childe. : wtf </3 i thought we had something

 

aether : well you thought wrong <3

 

childe : what did i ever do tobsudjf’dk$!:&:

 

lumine : lmao

 

zhongli : Childe?

 

albedo : That reminds me, does any of you know where Kaeya is?

 

keqing : Hes hiding in the cafeteria.

 

kaeya : WTF

 

rosaria : where are you guys

 

barbara : ROSARIA

 

rosaria : shit

rosaria : gotta go

 

barbara : COME BACK

 

kaeya : YOU SNITCHEs

kaeya : SNATCHES GERY STITCHESs’,&@,’

 

rosaria : lmao

 

barbara : ROSARIA

 

jean : What happened here?

 

yanfei : chaos

 

lisa : So~ Seems like nothing is new~

 

aether : im traumatized

 

jean : Oh dear, what happened? If you’re willing to share that is.

 

aether : venti and xiao started fucking i think

 

jean : Oh

 

aether : I heard everything

 

jean : I suggest going on a walk, hanging at a café, listening to music or admiring the scenery outside.

 

aether : hiw willthat help

 

jean : Hopefully it distracts your mind and forget everything.

 

aether : thank you jean!! youre the best!

 

jean : No problem! Its my job to help!

jean : Anyway, guys! Time to go to sleep!

 


feb 17

7:37 am

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

aether : OMG LOOK

aether : xiaoven(15).img

 

keqing : YOU HAVE 15 PHOTOS??

 

aether : yes

 

lumine : aww

 

ningguang : I never thought the gremlin could pull Xiao to be honest.

 

ganyu : XIAO LOOKS SO PEACEFUL DJDJO

 

ei : Saved. Screenshotted. Printed. Gay.

 

makoto : ^

 

yae : ^^

 

zhongli : ^^^

 

scaramouche : ^^^^

 

kazuha : Scara?

 

scaramouche : Yes?

 

kazuha : You know Venti?

 

scaramouche : Yes.

 

sara : Oh.

 

itto : KUJOU FIGHT ME

 

sara : gotta go

 

itto : HEY!?!!!!!!

 

makoto : can you take a photo of their faces when they wake up??

 

aether : ofc

 

makoto : thanks

 

rosaria : I feel like today is gonna be chaotic

 

kaeya : more than yesterday?

 

rosaria : Yea

 

barbara : ROSARIA

 

rosaria : I gotta take my fish out for a walk byebye

 

barbara : :((

 

hu tao : venti reminds me of an old friend </3

 

aether : oh?

 

hu tao : we used to fake proposals to get free cake

 

lumine : LMAO

 

ei : He hold me that he liked to do that.

 

hu tao : who

 

ei : Venti.

 

hu tao : omg do you think venti was my old friend 😍

 

makoto : could be a possibility

 

aether : xiaoven(24).img

aether : VENTIS FACE IS SO RED LMFAO

 

makoto : LMAO

 

zhongli : Im saving that.

 

ganyu : LIGHT BLUSHING?? WHO IS THAT THATS NOT XIAO

 

ei : I can’t believe my eyes.

 

yae : I’m going to name you…pinocchio

 

albedo : Fatherr when can I leave to be on my ownnn

 

ayato : I’ve got the whole world to seee

 

ei : I hate you all.

 

yae : you love me <3

 

ei : In your dreams, yes.

 

venti : lmafo

 

makoto : VENTI HOW DO YOU FEEL

 

venti : anyway

 

zhongli : Oh.

 

venti : i had a dream

 

hu tao : what was it about?

 

venti : me shoving childs unconscious body into a shredder like in yandere simulator and then feeding it to jean

 

jean : Oh.

 

venti : good thing i dont have nightmares anymore

 

jean : Lucky.

 

xiao : ^

 

shenhe : ^

 

scaramouche : ^

 

childe : ^

 

venti : wait no

venti : i still have them once in a while

 

xiao : Still, lucky.

 

venti : smh

 

lumine : whaukjx

 

aether : lmao get crowbarred bitch

 

lumine : whats wrong with you

 

childe : i feel like that was supposed to be in caps

 

mona : i have 2 mora….

 

venti : i have none 😍

 

ei : What??

 

makoto : lmao did you already spend all that mora

 

venti : what are you guys talking about??

 

zhongli : Their parents and my parents decided to make you a bank account. So that you would have mora to survive.

 

diluc : Oh yeah, @Kaeya did you use your savings yet?

 

kaeya : ???

 

diluc : Dad made us bank accounts.

 

kaeya : When?

 

diluc : ..The day you got adopted.

 

kaeya : oh

 

jean : @Kaeya @Venti @Mona What do you guys survive on?

 

mona : definitely not selling peoples belongings

 

venti : apples

 

kaeya : leftovers

 

lisa : What the fuck~

 

jean :

 

venti : is something wrong with our food distribution??

 

jean :

 

mona : jean?

 

jean :

 

kaeya : are you okay?

 

xiao : Shes broken.

 

ganyu : gee couldnt tell

 

xiao :

 

venti : so is xiao

 

kaeya : LMAO

 

scaramouche : wait

venti has added (2) members to child with an E hate club

venti : everyone meet my siblings

 

ei : c and wen?

 

venti : who else

 

zhongli : Eelsond to this gorrip chau

 

carmen : lmao rexy??

 

wendy : what the fuck

 

lumine : Welcome! who are you

 

wendy : wendy

 

lumine : no like

lumine : how did you get here

 

wendy : my sibling added me

 

aether : who is your sibling

 

wendy : venti

 

carmen : did you not see when ven added us??? are you blind??

 

aether : ys

 

wendy : VENTI I NEED YOUR GUITAR

 

venti : WHAT WHY

 

wendy : I JUST NEED IT

 

venti : DAMN OKAY

 

wendy : ILL DROP BY LATER BE READY

 

albedo : venti is letting you take an instrument? what did you do? do you have blackmail?

 

wendy : no just triplet perks

 

lumine : wha- TRIPLETS??

 

carmen : yass queen

 

venti : yk whats funny

 

zhongli : whst

 

venti : that the archon cousins are casted as the archons for the play

 

yanfei : and the adepti siblings are the adepti of the play

 

aether : wait what

 

zhongli : we are known as the archon cousins

 

venti : kinda weird ngl

 

lumine : WILL VENTIS TRIPLETS ATTEND THIS SCHOOL!??!!?

 

carmen : we will

 

aether : did you recover from that crowbar already?

 

wendy : that reminds me of venti and shenhe’s spars

 

chongyun : oh

 

venti : im gonna steal shenhes hair comb head accessory thing <3

 

chongyun : WHAT DONT DO TAHT

 

venti : why not

 

chongyun : SHELL GO CRAZY

 

venti : shell

 

chongyun : she’ll

 

venti : she’ll only spar with me if i steal it </3

 

xingqiu : XIANG I NEED A POPSICLE

 

xiangling : is chongyun over heating?

 

xingqiu :  YES

 

xiangling : alright!

 

venti : EHEHEHEHHE

 

xiao : welp

 

-

 

jean : WAS THAT GUN SHOTS

Chapter Text

xiao : Oh my lord.

 

wendy : pfft

 

carmen : do not make it public that you are farting

 

wendy : IM NOT????

 

carmen : too bad

 

jean : arE NONE OF YOU CONCERNED??

 

wendy : they’ll be fine

 

jean : HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

 

wendy : boy i am their sibling

 

jean : THATS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED!!

 

carmen : their fast they’ll be fine

 

jean : WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?? WONT THEY BE WORRIED??

 

wendy :

 

carmen :

 

ei :

 

makoto :

 

zhongli : h

 

jean : ???

 

carmen : our mom is dead

carmen : and our dad only cares about wendy

 

jean : oh

jean : sorry i asked

 

carmen : no its fine

carmen : you didnt know

 

xingqiu : anyway

 

ganyu : is venti okay??

 

razor : be n nt hu r

 

fischl : What sir Razor meant to converse with thy groups subjects twas that of Sir Bennett’s newly acquired temporary condition. Sir Bennett has harshly descended upon the land below the great earthy walls of thy knowledge learning building it resides near.  Again.

 

lisa : oh~

 

eula : oh great.

 

barbara : how many people will visit the infirmary today???

 

jean : Two, if Venti gets shot.

 

scaramouche : wait how did i get here

 

ei : I added you.

 

scaramouche : why

 

makoto : oh god i think his memory is draining

 

scaramouche : i hate you sm

 

makoto : ilyt <3

 

ei : I don’t.

 

wendy : triplets these days

 

carmen : smh

 

venti : insert old person sigh

 

jean : VENTI ARE YOU OKAY

 

venti : no

venti : anyway

 

lumine : WAIT

 

jean : WDYM “NO”

 

wendy : yes

 

lumine : WDYM TRIPLETS

 

venti : if you get in an coma again i will dropkick you off of a cliff <3

 

aether : HUH

 

venti : that was meant for my sibling whoops

 

carmen : i thought i was your favorite sibling </3

 

wendy : WHAT

 

venti : oh shit

venti : gotta go

 

wendy : COME BACK HERE

 

carmen : IM THEIR FAVORITE

 

wendy : NO YOU ARENT

 

makoto : anyway

makoto : im scaramouches fav sister

 

scaramouche :

 

makoto : dont tell me its ei

 

scaramouche :

 

makoto : ITS EI???

 

scaramouche :

 

makoto : smh

 

kokomi : you guys are sIBLINGS???

 

venti : triplets

 

wendy : VENTI

 

venti : gee well look at the time i gotta go walk my toaster

 

jean : You guys are gonna be late.

 

venti : welp

venti : wendys tell dad he sucks ass for me

 

wendy : why would i do that

 

venti :

 

wendy : done deal

 

rosaria : wtf gay club

 

barbara : ROSARIA

 

kaeya : why do you keep doing that

 

barbara : what?

 

kaeya : yelling rosarias name after she says something in this chat

 

barbara : because she keeps skipping church

barbara : the archons are good for you!

 

kaeya : if i were her i would do that too

 

jean : Kaeya!

 

barbara : @yun jin WHY DID YOU MAKE A SONG WITH BARBATOS AND NOT TELL ME??

 

yun jin : What? I recently recorded with Venti, nobody else.

 

barbara : WHAT

 

jean : CLASSES.

 

-

 

aether : ventis kinda like a popular person ngl

 

venti : DID YOU GUYS SEE WHAT I SAWI

 

lumine : yes you too love birds hugging

 

venti : who???

venti : anyway

 

lumine : ??? you and xiao

 

venti : tokenhetcouple.img

 

lumine : aww

 

venti : what?? send photo

 

lumine : xiaoven.img

 

venti :

 

aether : lmao

 

venti : wait is that

venti : OMG @xiao @wendy

 

xiao : What.

 

wendy : yeeeessss?

 

venti : SCROLL UPP

 

wendy : wha ok

 

jean : Whats happening?

 

xiao : Oh.

 

wendy : OMG

 

jean : SOMEONEBTELL ME

 

venti : i think she lost her marbles

 

wendy : no shit

 

venti : smh

 

lisa : what did you guys do?

 

wendy : nothing

 

barbara : guys

barbara : thatd giu us oytsidr hekpd mr

 

rosaria : it better not be albert

 

venti : its albert

 

wendy : its albert

 

lisa : how do you guys know??

 

venti : im special

 

kazuha : the wind knows me

 

wendy : your mom

 

beidou : MY SON

 

kazuha : we are the same age

 

xiao : I’m going to jump off of a cliff.

 

wendy : lmao

 

jean : Oh dear! If you need a person to talk to i’ll be here!

 

xiao :

 

venti : lmao

 

—-

 

8:59 am

feb 19

Cuz (ins)

 

himmel : dont you love it when  you get out of the hospital only to get attacked by a red lizard

 

barbatos : yes

 

wendy : why do you guys have cool nicknames

 

beelzebub : these, these are their real names

 

wendy : oh

 

barbatos : heart been broke so many times

 

wendy : smh

 

barbatos : lmao

 

morax : nice singing

 

barbatos : wait what

 

baal : your online fursona

 

barbatos : WHAT I DONT HAVE ONE

 

kunikuzushi : too bad

 

barbatos : YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN TO ME

 

kunikuzushi : your mom

 

wendy : lmao

 

himmel : when your own triplet didnt even know you had a second name </3

 

barbatos : ^

 

anahita : wtf happened here

 

kusanali : idk

 

barbatos : when are you guys gonna change your names to your real names??

 

anahita : we

anahita : we forgot them

 

barbatos : LMAO

 

makoto : too bad

 

beelzebub :

 

—-

 

9:07 am

feb 19

child with an E hate club

 

 

xiao : No.

 

jean : ??

 

eula : what is this??

 

xiao : That was meant for venti.

 

venti : any new anemo users in this gc??

 

ayaka : i know someone who has an anemo vision!

 

venti : ehats their name

 

ayaka : kazuha

 

kazuha : me

 

venti : great lemme add you

 

kazuha : okay

 

sucrose : oh

 

aether : i feel like this gc has been taken over by the anemo users LOL

 

childe : who even uses lol in caps anymore

 

makoto : who even is ginger nowadays

 

venti : childe tartaglia A

 

childe :

 

xiao : ajax is a dumb name

 

venti : ^

 

makoto : ^

 

childe : HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW MY REAL NAME

 

ei : zhongli

 

venti : i hate listening to his gay rants

 

makoto : he knew you were gay since you were 6

 

venti : walling

 

makoto : ???

 

ei : i hate this family tree.

 

scaramouche : i do too

 

venti : aww their bonding!!

 

scaramouche : NO WE ARE BOT

 

xiao : okay scaraboobs

 

venti : LMFAO

 

scaramouche : if you dont sHUT UP

 

makoto : LMFO

 

childe : laugh my fucking off

 

xiao : Do not speak, cleaning supply.

 

eula : my mirror says the next person to talk is the ugliest person alive.

 

childe : WDYM CLEANING SUPPLY

 

venti : LMFAO

 

rosaria : lets all skip class

 

jean : no you will not.

jean : next person to speak in here gets a referral.

 

—-

 

5:38 pm

feb 19

 

jean : you guys can talk now

 

—-

 

7:38 pm

feb 19

 

jean : hello??

 

—-

 

9:37 pm

feb 19

 

jean : anyone???

 

—-

 

11:29 pm

feb 19

 

hu tao : i think jean went crazy

 

yanfei : ^

 

hu tao : ONG YANFEI HIGIG

 

yanfei : hiiiiii

 

venti : go to sleep

 

xiao : its 11.

 

venti : its late!!

venti : better go sleep!!

 

lumine : im gonna go swimming

 

venti : ok

 

xiangling : ooo CAN I COME

 

xingqiu : ^

 

xinyan : ^

 

lumine : yup :)

 

xingqiu : WOO

 

aether : get ready guys! we’re gonna leave soon!!

 

lumine : we will meet you at the gates!!

 

venti : kazuha are you at the dorms yet

 

kazuha : yes

 

venti : sweet

 

kazuha : uh ok

 

venti : goodbye

 

kazuha : wtf??

 

—-

 

3:37 am

feb 20

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

venti : ahem

venti : i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room

 

sucrose : cause all i see are girls too good to be true

 

kazuha : with paper white teeth and perfect bodies

 

sucrose : wish i didnt care

 

venti : i know their beauty’s not my lack

venti : but it feel like that weight is on my back

 

xiao : and i cant let it go

 

sucrose : com comparison is killin me

 

jean : slowlyy

 

aether : i think i think too much

 

lumine : about kids who dont know me

 

venti : im so sick of myself

 

aether : id rather be

 

lumine : rather be~

 

xiao : anyone anyone else

 

sucrose : my jealousy, jealousy started followinb me

 

kazuha : started followin me

 

lumine : blue eyes see everyone gettin all the things i want

 

aether : im happy for them

 

jean : but then again, im not

 

sucrose : just cool vintage clothes and vacation photos

 

xiao : i cant stand it

xiao : oh god i sound crazy

 

venti : their win is not my loss

 

kazuha : i know that its true but

 

jean : i cant help gettin caught up in it all

 

venti : com comparison, is killing me slowly~

 

lumine : i think i think too much

 

sucrose : bout kids who dont know me

 

jean : IM SO SICK OF MY SELF

 

kazuha : RATHER BE

 

xiao : rather be

 

aether : anyone, anyone else

 

lumine : my jealousy, jealousy

 

venti : (yeah)

venti : ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE SO COOL, YOU GO OUT EVEY NIGHT

 

sucrose : IN YOUR DADDYS NICE CAR, YEAH YOUR LIVING THE LFIE

 

kazuha : GOT A PRETTY FACE, PREETTY BOYFRIENF TOO

 

xiao : I WANNS BE YOUR SO BAD AND I DONT EVEN KNOW YOUU

 

jean : ALL ISRR IS WHAT I SHOULKD BE

 

venti : HAPPIER PRETTTIRE

 

lumine : JEALOSU

 

aether : JELAOUSY

 

kazuha : ALK I SEE IS WHAY O SHOULD BE

 

venti : IM LOSIN IT

venti : ALL I GETS JEALDOUY, JEALOUSY

 

xiao : com comparison, is killin me

 

aether : slowly~

 

jean : i think i think too much

 

sucrose : bout kids who dont know ME

 

venti : IMS O SICK OF MYSRLG

 

sucrose : RATEHR BE RATTER BEE

 

xiao : anyone, anyONE ELSEE

 

kazuha : BUT JEALOUY JEALOYT

 

kazuha : IM SO SICK OF MYSELF

 

venti : ID RATHER HE RATHER BE

 

aether : ANYONE ANYONE ELSE

 

lumine : JEALIHSY

 

sucrose : JRALOUDY

 

xiao : started followin me

 

—-

 

5:48 pm

feb 20

 

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

ningguang : holy shit

 

beidou : NINGNING

 

keqing : oh

 

ganyu : I’m not complaining, that is a great song.

 

venti : thats why i chose it!!

 

jean : good song indeed

 

ningguang : anyway, @everyone i hereby declare that every one in this groupchat shall study for the exam.

 

makoto : too bad

 

jean : I suggest that everyone should shut down their phones and focus on your studies!

Chapter Text

6:28 pm

march 21

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

zhongli : why must this school hate me so

 

venti : omg you should join the poetry club

 

zhongli : stfu

 

venti : i dont shut up, i grow up, and when i look at you i throw up

 

wendy : sTOPPPP

 

ei : this is amusing.

 

wendy : I THOUGHT YOU FORGOT ABOU TTHAT

 

venti : i have great memory

 

childe : @zhongli what happened?

 

venti : thats gay

 

childe : stfu twink

 

venti : i need a child with an E sized coffin

 

carmen : CHILD WITH AN E *mom emoji*

 

wendy : STOPPP

 

venti : LMFAOO

 

ei : you shouldnt joke about suck things.

 

venti : idc

 

xingqiu : i like how zhongli ignored child

 

childe : STOPP

 

lumine : so many people yelling stop today

 

aether : STOPP

aether : YOUR KIDDING ME

aether : I GOT A D-

 

lumine : LMAO FOSTER PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL YOU

 

aether : STOPPPPPP

 

ningguang : i got an A.

 

beidou : hey girl are you geo? cause you got me bricked up

 

ningguang :

 

kazuha : haha

 

tomo : hey bbg

 

kazuha : ?

 

tomo : hey

 

kazuha : hey

 

yae : the sexual tension

 

ei : ^

 

tomo : ANYWAY

tomo : do you wanna go hang out at that cafe kazuha?

 

kazuha : sure id love too!

 

tomo : great ill see you there

 

makoto : gay mfs

 

yae : your just mad that your single

 

makoto : you are too tf??

 

yae : not anymore ;)

 

wendy : WHAT

 

venti : exCUSE ME

 

zhongli : m. a g. dmn d b nd

 

ningguang : zhongli?

 

ganyu : his phone broke (again)

 

xiao :

 

venti :

 

childe :

 

yae :

 

makoto :

 

ei :

 

venti : oh yea btw zhongli celestia is mad at you

 

zhongli : oh dear

 

childe : i thought his phone broke??

 

venti : not if we’re talking about celestia

 

carmen : too bad

 

ei : what for?

 

venti : wait lemme quote them

 

zhongli : okay

 

venti : “Dear Venti, or whatever alias you are using, please inform Morax about an urgent meeting. Tell him to meet us at the ballroom. Sincerely, C.”

venti : wheres tge ballroom

 

scaramouche : i like how they used your alias and not zhonglis lmao

 

makoto : ^

 

ei : ^

 

carmen : you idiot

 

xingqiu : wdym morax????

 

venti : you dont know??

 

zhongli : i didnt tell anyone

 

ayato : well yeah, hiding the fact that you are apart of the richest family in all of teyvat is mandatory

 

zhongli : oh yeah, venti please open your messages and open your bank acount.

 

venti : will do!!

 

keqing : wait a minute..

keqing : zhongli -> apart of the richest family in all of teyvat

venti wendy carmen zhongli ei makoto scaramouche -> cousins

keqing : venti wendy carmen zhonglu ei makoto scaramouche = rich kids

 

ei : yea.

 

keqing : then why is venti broke?? zhongli too???

 

venti : zhongli forgets his wallet, and i didnt know i was apart of ther richest family in all of teyvat until now

 

zhongli : it srrjsboiiebivywv right after r juveniles yand hebwhebubjwybhwve hriieekhbuy

 

keqing : oh thanks son

 

venti : you’re welcum mom

 

childe : excuse me??

 

ganyu : wth

 

zhongli : i have dtipped ny lnone abd u mah have brine. jr

 

ei : wth

 

carmen : lmao

 

venti : WAIT CARCAR

 

carmen : dont call me that

 

venti : ok menmen

 

carmen :

 

venti : anyway

venti : we need to talk about your boyfriend

 

carmen : MY WHAT

 

xiao : your boyfriend

 

carmen : I DONT HAVE ONE???

 

wendy : oh yeah??

wendy : well look at this awwgays.png

 

carmen :

 

venti : haha gay

 

childe : look at yourself

 

carmen : stfu and go on a date with zongli already

carmen : xhongli

carmen : zholfli

carmen : zholgu

carmen : zhogbli

 

venti : you piece of beef

 

carmen : ZHONGLI

carmen : STOPPP

 

venti : beefy 🥰🥰

 

carmen : STOPPP

carmen : NOO

 

venti : ground ice 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

 

wendy : DID YOU SERIOUSLY REMEMBER ALL YHE NICKNAMES 😨😨😨

 

venti : YES I DID WENDEEZ

 

wendy : NOO STOPPP

 

venti : BHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

 

razor : w ebdg dv ?

 

kaeya : wendeez nuts in your mouth

 

razor : wHt i sf rdch bfc g fd

 

bennett : DOTN SAY THAT

 

zhongli : also, i got a F on my test. I have to go now

 

venti : i-i-i-i got a higher g-grade t-than zhongli….

venti : WAIT WHAT WHY

 

xiao : he answered the questions very fast

xiao : so naturally, the teachers thought he was cheating

 

venti : oh

 

ganyu : this is what we call ‘gay’ 🥰🥰🥰

 

xiao : im going to beat your ass

 

keqing : XIAO

 

xiao : Keqing.

 

keqing : DONT DO THAT

 

venti :

 

jean : dont say it.

 

lisa : my my~

 

hu tao : thats gay

 

venti : HU TAO MY BESTEST FRIEND

venti : ILY

 

hu tao : /P??

 

venti : /P!!!

 

xiao : oh god

 

ganyu : xiao its okay for your boyfriend to talk to other people !!

 

xiao : who

 

ganyu : venti

 

venti : hello

 

xiao :

 

yoimiya : gays !!! i support !!

 

ayaka : thoma dont do it.

 

thoma : im going to do it.

 

ayaka : NOO STOPP

 

ayato : what’s happening here

 

thoma : oh hello ayato 😊☺️☺️😊

 

ayato : greetings to you too, thoma

 

thoma : 🥰🥰🥰

 

jean : gay mfs

 

barbara : JEAN??

 

jean : that was meant for lisa

 

venti : i hate dance

 

zhongli : wyy

 

venti :

venti : no freedom

 

xiao : you

 

venti : me

 

xiao :

 

venti :

 

ayaka : THOMA SONT DI IT

 

thoma : IM GONNA DO IT

 

ayato : do what?

 

thoma : IM GONNA TRANSLATE YHE FANFIC

 

ayato : which

 

thoma : THE THE INE THAT DILUC DENY MR

 

ayato : i advise you not to translate it for him

 

thoma : sir yes sir

 

ayaka : ..

 

yoimiya : all tgat work did not pay off

 

Kuki : LMAO

 

ayaka : ..

 

ayato : also some girl was like forced into a marriage lols

 

—-

 

2:32 am

march 22

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

aether : im going to 7eleven if anyone wants to come with

 

venti : I want to come !!

 

xingqiu : i will come too

 

zhongli : i eull fint jyii if you dint kidn

 

childe : “i will come too if you dont mind”

 

aether : its okay zhongli

aether : you can come bc you got tge fatty

 

zhongli : are you implinyythvgtgst u. sn fat?

 

childe : “are you implying tgat i am fat?”

 

aether : NO NO NO

aether : I MENA

aether : UH

 

venti : HE THINKS YOGUR AS SIS FAT

venti : THAT IS GOOD BTW

venti : IN A POSITIVE TONE

venti : COMPLEMENTING

venti : THIRSTING

 

aether : OKAYOKAT

aether : BUT THAD CHILD NOT ME

 

childe : HEY

 

zhongli : that us. jcd yo m isn

 

childe : fuck this im not gonna translate for you guys anymor

 

venti : oh

venti : didnt even need your translation anyway

 

childe :  HEY

childe : WHAT

 

venti : yes? (:

 

childe : WHAT DOES THAT MESB

 

venti : it means you are gay for zhongli

venti : you have a crush on him

venti : you admire his ass

venti : you begged me to tell you how long his dick is

 

childe : AYAYAY NO DONT SAY ANYTHING ELSE

 

venti : MF HOW WOULD I KNOW HIS PP SIZE

 

childe : IDK?? I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WRRE EXeS

 

venti :

venti : ..

venti : i need my emotional support entity

 

xiao : you called

 

aether : AYO

Chapter Text

venti : anyway

 

aether : WDYM

 

venti : lets go to 7eleven guys !!!

 

zhongli : right now?

 

venti : yass !!

 

zhongli : i need to get ready

 

venti : EVERYONE come in your pjs !!

 

aether :

aether : i

 

venti : something wrong ? :)

 

aether : nope

aether : ill see you there

aether : also anyone can come you dont need to inform me !!

 

venti : race ya there

 

aether : YOU LEFT WITHOUT ME

 

venti : ehe

 

xiao : chill he wont catch up to you at this rate

 

venti : shut up

 

xiao :

 

venti :

 

xingqiu : gay behavior

 

venti : says you

 

diluc : you cannot speak on that matter

 

venti : owning stashes of romance novels behavior

 

diluc :

 

kaeya : LMAO WHAT

 

venti : eyeless behavior

 

kaeya : wHAT NO I DO HAVE 2 EYE

kaeya : I HAVE HEROPHOBLIA

 

venti : 🤨

venti : herophobia

 

kaeya : HETROPHOMIA

 

ganyu : HETEROPHOBIA??? LMFAOOO

 

venti : HAHAHAH

 

kaeya : i hate it here

 

venti : diluc kinnie

 

kaeya : STFU

 

venti : says the one tgahv)&!&,&,&!:!.&’!.?./&‘£,€£¥!;!

 

ganyu : VVEBTI?? LMAO

 

aether : rip venti

 

jean : what happened?

 

aether : nobody knows

 

ganyu : hes offline

 

kaeya : wasnt he with xiao

 

keqing : ONG DID HE HURT HIM

 

zhongli : he lo

 

childe : what???

 

shenhe : notice how childe immediately replied to zhongli

 

childe : IM NOT GAY

 

xingqiu : i found this dog feasting ona. brick

 

xiangling : local brick recipes

 

xingqiu : the brick looks so good rn

 

chongyun : please dont eat it

 

shenhe : see chongyun, stay away from him

 

chongyun : but we are dating??

 

aether : WHAT

 

ganyu : YOU GUYS ARE??

 

chongyun : im pretty sure we told you guys

 

yanfei : it’s either you didnt tell us or we forgot

yanfei : which is ironic bc i remember everything

 

hu tao : guys i need a girlfriend

 

yanfei : i dont know why people like hot chocolate tbh coffee is way better

 

hu tao : YNAFEI

 

yanfei : HU TAK

 

hu tao : YANFEI BE MY GF AND GO ON A COFFEE DATE WITH MR

 

yanfei : YES

 

rosaria : aww love

rosaria : its so..

 

barbara : cute?

 

jean : heart warming

 

lisa : horny~?

 

albedo : Devastating?

 

rosaria : gross

rosaria : im going back inside

 

aether : I MADE IT TOO THE 7ELEVEN BEFORE VENTI WOOO

 

ganyu : WTF

 

jean : is there a problem?

 

ganyu : YES

ganyu : WHAT IS XIAOS MOST HATED THINGS

 

yanfei : touching people, social interactions, being the center of attention, being forced to do things beyond his will etc.

 

ganyu : oh so

ganyu : i was on a walk and i was going back to my house ok

 

jean : yea..???

 

ganyu : i see xiao and what it looks like, comforting venti

ganyu : IT WAS LIKE A HUG

ganyu : THAT MAN HATES HUGS

 

aether : oh

aether : confession : i used to have a crush on xiao

 

yanfei : oh

 

ganyu : WTF.mp3

 

jean : oh

 

ganyu : I DONT THINK THATS OUR XIAO

 

kazuha : definitely not

 

ganyu : WAIT

 

sucrose : Mr. Albedo! The principal gave us access to use Cyanide!!

 

jean : WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT

 

albedo : Excellent. Thank you Sucrose.

 

jean : well i guess its okay..

jean : well if the principal really did say so

 

ganyu : IM SOBBIGN

 

keqing : why?

 

ganyu : MY BROTHER IS SSSSHOWINN AFFECCTION

 

keqing : who xiao?

 

yanfei : who else

 

keqing : wtf im his bestfriend he never told me that he was gay 💔💔💔💔

 

zhongli : it was kind of obvious…

 

keqing : i didnt think he would be the type to fall in love 😭😭😭

 

wendy : @yae WDYM YOU ARENT SINGLE ANYMORE

 

yae : oh~?

 

carmen : WAIT WHAT

 

wendy : ANSWER

 

yae : I

 

scaramouche : my my, THE Guugi Yae speechless?

 

yae : im doing your sister

 

scaramouche : WAIT WHAT

 

wendy : ofc its her

 

carmen : gay mfs

 

kokomi : guys!!

 

kokomi has added (1) member

 

kokomi : meet my sister!!!!

 

mimi : huh

 

kokomi : hello :))

 

mimi : oh hello :))

 

sara : whos older?

 

mimi : i am!

 

childe : wow anyone else have siblings here?? or relatives?

childe : if you do add them

 

carmen : WAITWAIT

carmen : GUYS CAN I ADD THEM??

 

zhongli : go for it

 

wendy : HEY I SAID I WANTED TO DO IT

 

carmen : I GOT ZHONGLIS APROVVAL HAHAHAHH

 

carmen has added (4) members

 

carmen : HELLO FAMILY MEMBERS

 

kusanali : hello

 

xiao has added (1) members

 

alatas : huh

 

wendy : OMG XIAO GET BACK HERE

 

alatas : wtf happened here

 

wendy : wait a minute

 

keqing : ?

 

wendy : ..

wendy : OH MY GOD

 

ei : something the matter?

 

wendy : OMG

wendy : VENTI = CARMEN

wendy : XIAO = ALATAS

 

scaramouche : what point are you trying to make

 

wendy : venti and carmen are like identical same with alatas and xiao

wendy : so

wendy : that mea!:)€|€

 

scaramouche : anyway

 

aether : where is xiao and venti????

 

xingqiu : i see him!!

xingqiu : i think

 

chongyun : nono youre right

chongyun : i see them

 

xingqiu : ty yunyun <3

 

childe : when is it my turn to be happy 💔💔💔💔💔💔

 

xiao : never

 

childe : your so mean to me 💔💔😭😭😭

 

xiao : shut up

 

ganyu : why dont you text with punctuation anymore???

 

xiao : venti said it was scary

 

ganyu : bro

 

venti : dont text while walking

 

aether : VENTI MY BRO

aether : WHERE DID YOU DO

 

venti : i got jumped

 

aether : oh

 

venti : @ei do you remember that one girl in middle school

 

ei : which

 

venti : the one that shot me

 

ei : oh her

ei : what about her

 

venti : she jumped me 🥰🥰

 

ei :

 

makoto : who

 

xiao : signora

 

childe : LMAFOOOOO

 

venti : shes a bitch

 

jean : oh no! are you okay?!

 

venti : yeah

 

xiao : their is shaking rn

 

venti :

 

xiao :

 

ganyu : i never thought xiao could snitch ngl

 

aether : im getting boba

 

ayato : I WANT BOBA

ayato : ahem

ayato : thoma get me some boba

 

thoma : sir yes sir

 

ayaka : wtf

 

yoimiya : hey

 

ayaka : hello :)

 

yoimiya : hello!!

yoimiya : ill get you some chocolate!

 

ayaka : aww

ayaka : your the bestest friend anyone could ever have :))

 

yoimiya :

yoimiya : yeahhhh…

 

ayaka : something wrong?

 

yoimiya : no nothings wrong :))

 

kaeya : LMAFO

 

diluc : Kaeya.

 

kaeya : i gotta go

 

——

 

2:37 pm

april 3

 

therapy

 

 

jean : welcome @everyone !

 

venti : wtf

 

albedo : Hm?

 

xiao :

 

ganyu : hello!!

 

kaeya : heyyy

 

sucrose : Oh?

 

jean : welcome everyone to group therapy!

 

venti : i dotn need therapy

 

xiao : sure you do

 

venti : is it bully venti day 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🥹🥹🥹😭😠🤩🥰

 

kaeya : yes

Chapter Text

venti : you guys are so mean to me 💔💔💔💔

 

venti has left therapy

 

xiao : oh well.

 

xiao has left therapy

 

albedo has left therapy

 

jean: …

 

—-

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

keqing : i like how ganyu and venti are the literal definition of “a nightmare dressed as a daydream”

 

ganyu : keqinggg :((

 

keqing : sorry ma’am

 

ganyu : i forgive you :))

 

keqing : JEH&:$:&

 

venti : gay behavior

 

aether : I MADE IT BEFORE YOU HAHAH

 

venti : YOU SICK FUCK

venti : I GOT JUMPED

 

aether : UR NOT SPECIAL

aether : I CAN JUMP TOO

 

lumine : if anyone asks, i dont know who he is

 

kaeya : PFFT

 

xiao : Now you’re acting like your relationship with Diluc doesn’t exist.

 

kaeya : WHA

kaeya : WHO TOLD YOU

 

xiao : starbuck size

 

venti : wow love you too 💔💔

 

carmen : lets talk about that keqing girl simping for ganyu

 

keqing : no.

 

——

 

OPERATION GANQING

 

 

xingqiu : HELLO EVERYONE

xingqiu : WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO HELP A SHIP SAIL

 

venti : sheesh

 

xiao : if keqing is really good for her that sure

 

chongyun : can you just come to my dorm and give me cuddles?

 

shenhe : …

 

xingqiu : UH

xingqiu : sorry not now yunyun! maybe next time :))

 

chongyun : oh alright :))

 

xingqiu : ANYWAY

xingqiu : any ideas???

 

childe : OOH we can

childe : lock them in a closet until they confess

 

venti : blind date

 

xiao : random encounter

 

carmen : uhh

 

alatas : why is my name alatas

alatas : where did this chat come from

 

xiao : im pretty sure qiqi did that

 

alatas : oh

ala : what are we talking about

 

xingqiu : getting ganyu and keqing together

xingqiu : you know who that is right?

 

ala : yea ganyu is my sister

 

chongyun : ok this family tree is confusing

 

shenhe : not really

 

xingqiu : ANYWAY

xingqiu : any other ideas?

 

shenhe : double date

shenhe : i volunteer xiao and venti

 

venti : why us

venti : why cant xingqiu and chongyun do it

 

beidou : i volunteer me and ningguang

 

xingqiu : okay double date it is

xingqiu : beidou do you have a date spot?

 

beidou : how about stargazing

 

venti : movie night?

 

ningguang : picnic?

 

shenhe : exploring?

 

chongyun : what does one do on dates

 

venti : idk im single

 

beidou : im not

beidou : i have ningguang <3

 

ningguang : <3

 

venti : :(((

 

carmen : overdrive by conan grav is so good oml

 

yun jin : karaoke

yun jin : and play love songs

 

beidou : OMG…

beidou : that is a GREAT IDEA

 

xingqiu : ok so

xingqiu : karaoke double date -> play love songs -> now what

 

carmen : hmm

carmen : what if the do all of that?

 

venti : what

 

carmen : like go watch a movie -> picnic -> karaoke -> stargazing

 

venti : i

 

shenhe : that sounds like a great idea

 

xingqiu : ok but if they go on a picnic where would they go?

 

venti : WINDRISE UNDER THE TREE

 

xingqiu : ok so

xingqiu : movie -> windrise picnic : under the tree -> karaoke : love songs -> stargazing

xingqiu : stargazing where

 

carmen : STARSNATCH CLIFF

 

xiao : wait no

xiao : they can go on the picnic when they go stargazing

 

ala : what if its a 2day double date???

 

chongyun : what

 

beidou : what

 

ala : like half the activities one day and the rest the next

 

ningguang : that sounds like a great idea

 

xingqiu : ok karaoke where

 

ningguang : my house

 

xingqiu : ok so

xingqiu : day 1 : watch a movie -> karaoke

xingqiu : day 2 : picnic at windrise -> stargazing at starsnatch

 

venti : WAIT what if they have the karaoke then a movie night

 

ala : why switch them around?

 

venti : so they can get tired and cuddle

 

xingqiu : wtf you make the schedule

 

venti : ok wiar

venti : ganqingschedule.png

 

xingqiu : ok thanks

 

aether : but who will invite them?

 

venti : i will ask ganyu

 

beidou : why

 

venti : bc im her bff

 

beidou : okay but who will ask keqing

 

ningguang : i volunteer xiao

 

xiao : why me

 

ningguang : because you two are best friends

 

xiao : right okay

 

aether : why are we doing this at 2am outside a 7eleven

 

xingqiu : idk

 

ala : lets go back to the other gc

 

venti : ok

 

—-

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

hu tao : HELLLOOOOO?

 

yanfei : hu, they probably have something important to do

 

venti : @GNAYU

venti : oops

 

ganyu : do you need something?

 

venti : ya go dms

 

ganyu : alright

 

keqing : ..

 

—-

 

venti -> ganyu

 

 

venti : hey so beidou and ningguang are going on a date

 

ganyu : but?

 

venti : but they want to do a double date

 

ganyu : i dont like where this is going

 

venti : will you..

venti : marry me?!

 

ganyu : omg…

ganyu : i thought you would never ask!!

ganyu : yes! yes! yes! a million times yes!

 

venti : x

venti : oops got off topic

venti : anyway

venti : pls go on a doubledate with beidou and ningguang

 

ganyu : what do i get out of it?? 🤨

 

venti : uh

venti : a song dedicated to you

 

ganyu : hmm

 

venti : Uh

venti : childe blackmail??

 

ganyu : deal

 

venti : sweet

venti : also ill pay for a hotel for the second day

 

ganyu : what.

 

—-

 

xiao -> keqing

 

 

xiao : keqing.

 

keqing : xiao.

keqing : your boyfriend better not do anything.

 

xiao : hes not my boyfriend.

 

keqing : whatever, what do you need?

 

xiao : i need to accompany beidou and ningguang for a 2-day vacation.

 

 

keqing : why should i go?

 

xiao : they specifically asked me to ask you to go.

 

keqing : alright.

 

—-

 

OPERATION GANQING

 

 

venti : target acquired.

 

xingqiu : okay, xiao?

 

xiao : shes going.

 

carmen why did it get so serious so fast 😭

 

venti : also, for the second day, ill pay for a hotel room for ganqing

 

xingqiu : @beidou @ningguang make sure to treat this operation as a actual date

 

beidou : yes sir 💪

 

ningguang : will do.

 

—-

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

 

venti : child by me a slushy

 

childe : why

 

venti : i have blackmail on you

 

childe : wagt flavor do you want

 

ventj : you fucking idiot ill show you

 

xingqiu : why do bricks look so delicious oml

 

xiao : i advise you to not eat any

 

chongyun : qiu, can you get me a popsicle?

chongyun : i think im gonna over heatjd!!/&’!.)&@£€>

 

xingqiu : shit

 

xiao : he passed out

 

xingqiu : CHONGYUN MY BBB

 

childe : bbb??

 

venti : baby boy

venti : you fucking idiot

 

childe : WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

 

venti : EVERYTHING

 

xiao : ignoring that

 

venti : anyway

venti : theres a weird guy staring at me

 

xiao : where are you

 

venti : at your moms house

 

xiao : my mom is dead

 

venti : i know

 

xingqiu : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

venti : :)

 

xingqiu : im terrified of smiley faces yk that?

 

venti : :)

 

carmen : I GOTXHU

 

wendy : WTF WAIT DOR ME

 

venti : ok on the count

 

childe : i feel like something big is about to happen

 

xingqiu : HOLLY SHIT

xingqiu : OKNF

 

aether : what happened

 

xingqiu : so venti notices a weird guy staring at him so he announces it in this gc and all of a sudden 2 people that look like venti appears and they all attack the man

xingqiu : venti but no blue ends jumps the guy and venti but shoulder length hair knocks him to the floor and for finishing touches venti summons a wind current which makes him float and he plunges down elbows aimed at the guys stomach

 

aether : oh

 

carmen : wow 💔💔 they dont even know out names

 

xingqiu : ok then who is who

 

carmen : i am venti but no blue ends

 

wendy : venti with shoulder length hair

 

xingqiu :  oky got it

 

aether : is chongyun okay

 

xingqiu : shit i forgot about him

 

aether : wtF WHY ARE YOU TWO NOT WEARING PANTS??? @venti @xiao

 

venti : I AM

 

xiao : i am too

 

aether : YOU BOTH LOOK LIEK UR KATHCINF

aether : I DINT SEE THEM PANTS

 

venti : shorts

 

xiao : ^

 

venti : anyway we’ll be going to the dorms now goodbbye

 

xingqiu : WAIT WHO WILL HELP ME CARRY. HOGNUJ

 

shenhe : what did you do to him.

 

xingqiu : HE FAINTWS I DIDNT DO ANYTHIGN

 

shenhe : he did? alright ill come get you both

 

aether : CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE TOO??

 

shenhe : sure.

 

—-

 

kazuha : we had a movie night

 

ningguang : @everyone i hope you all submitted your paragraph that is worth 50% of your grade

ningguang : if you havent, be sure to finish it/turn it in by tomorrow.

Chapter Text

—-

 

venti -> xiao

 

venti : happy birthday!!

 

xiao : huh

 

venti : its your birthday :))

 

xiao : oh i didn’t realize

 

venti : im coming over later with almond tofu!! :)

 

xiao : okay

 

—-

 

child with an E hate club

 

 

aether : i wonder what venti is doing

 

kazuha : beats  oh

kazuha : oh.

 

aether : ??

 

kazuha : gotta go

 

beidou : it’s awfully quiet here

 

keqing : WHO IS BLASTING PORN

 

beidou : nvm spoke too soon

 

ningguang : what happened?

 

keqing : SOMEONE IS BLASTING PORN

keqing : ITS 11 FUCKING PM

 

lisa : my~ my~

 

jean : lisa. are you blasting porn.

 

lisa : nope~ but i do know who is~ ;)

 

beidou : BHAHAHAH

 

ningguang : beidou.

 

beidou : ma’am yes ma’am

 

jean : WHO IS BLASTING IT

 

lisa : ill give you a hint~

lisa : they are from monstadt~

 

beidou : wow so helpful

 

carmen : its a blue guy

 

jean : thanks

 

eula : What a

 

amber : dont worry about it eula!!! it will stop soon :))

amber : just go to sleep

 

eula : I’ll trust your judgement.

 

amber : good night!

 

eula : Farewell.

 

venti : whats that sound

 

aether : WHERE ARE YOU

 

venti : outside

 

aether : WHY

 

venti : i was going on a walk

 

kazuha : xiao is missing

 

jean : WHAT.

 

tomo : i have news everyone!!!

 

lisa : what is it~?

 

tomo : me and kazuha started dating!!!

 

lisa : oh congratulations!!~

 

yae : took you long enough

 

sucrose : Congratulations!!!!!

 

albedo : Do any of you know where Klee is?

 

sucrose : Mr. Albedo, Klee is currently with me right now :)

 

albedo : Ah, Tthank you for informing me.

 

sucrose : Anytime :)

 

lisa : im crying

 

jean : Oh no, are you okay?

 

lisa : yes i am

 

venti : im feeling very single rn

 

aether : ^

 

beidou : dont think i see you with xiao rn

 

xiao : What.

xiao :

xiao : Good bye.

 

venti : good byw

 

aether : aaaaannnd their goen

aether : :((((((

 

lisa : haha imagine being single~

 

jean : Lisa.

 

lisa : sorry~ sorry~

 

kazuha : aww

 

tomo : can be like them

 

kazuha : sure

 

aether : ok so from what ive seen

aether : couples in this school are

aether : sunshine x sunshine protector

aether : in other words, crackhead x sane person

 

beidou : what a summaryy??!!!!!!

 

zhongli : it serns oike mg ogieb brijw qguwn

 

childe : dont worry

childe : ill buy you a new phone :)))))

 

aether : simp

 

lumine : simp

 

lisa : simp

 

tomo : simp

 

yanfei : simp

 

ganyu : simp

 

hu tao : simp

 

keqing : simp

 

ningguang : simp

 

xingqiu : simp

 

jean : simp

 

xiao : simp

 

shenhe : simp

 

kuki  : simp

 

itto : simp

 

yae : simp

 

venti : simp

 

childe : you guys can stop now

childe : and venti look at yourself

 

venti : stfu

venti : its a special day today

 

aether : i feel like we are forgeting something

 

—-

 

 

“Soo what did you think of the almond tofu?” Venti asks looking up at Xiao.

 

“…It was nice”

 

“Really!!??”

 

“…Yes”

 

“I can’t believe they forgot your birthday”

 

“…..”

 

“Sorry” Venti looks down to check the time on his phone. “Let’s go to starsnatch cliff! I wanna play you a song!” He gets off of the swing-set  they were at and grabs Xiao’s hand. “Come on! It won’t take that long” Venti says, rolling his eyes

 

“….Don’t we have school tomorrow?” Xiao asks, making eye contact with Venti.

 

“Ehhh it’s finee” Venti says after awhile. “Let’s gooo!”

 

—-

 

child with an E hate club

 

aether : OH WAIT

 

ganyu : wait a minute

ganyu : what day is it

 

ningguang : april 17

Chapter Text

—- {this happened after the day after xiaos bday}

 

venti -> ganyu

 

 

venti : xiao says he doesnt want to make it a big deal :)

 

ganyu : NO HES MY BROTHER

ganyu : I LEFT HIM ALONE ON HIS BIRTHDAYYY

ganyu : DO YOU NOT UNDERSTANDDD

 

venti : i was with him rn

 

ganyu : DID YOU HET HIM SOMETHINGG!!?!??

 

venti : yes

venti : goodbye

 

ganyu : WHAT

 

—- {this happened later in the day}

 

fruit basket

 

 

venti : okay who changed the chat name

 

aether : i did

 

beidou : why

 

aether : idk look around

 

lumine : what has gotten into you today jeez

 

aether : im done with your bullshit

 

lumine : …what

 

aether : YOU LEID TO ME MY WHOLE LIGE

 

lumine : I DID NOT

 

aether : YES YOU DID

 

venti : good bye

 

lumine : WHAT DJD J MJE ABIHT

 

aether : EVERTYTHUGB

aether : EVETYTHIHG YO YO I DADS CEATH

 

lumine : I DIDNT LIE ABOUT ABYTIBG

lumine : OH MY FUCKIGN GOD

 

aether : OH YEAH?? WHAT ABOUT THE CALL I JUST GOT!????

 

lumine : WHAT CALL????!??!

 

aether : A HOSPITAL TELLJJ IN GN. ME DADS SLIV

 

lumine : THEY WERE PROBALBJY LYONG

lumine : DONT BELIEIVE EVRYTHING SOMEINE SAYS

 

aether : I HATE YOU GO ROT IN BELL

 

lumine : I HATE YOU TOO JUMP OFF OF A CLIFF

 

—- {also later in the day}

 

“Xiao! no” Venti says grabbing Xiao’s hands.  “Aether and Lumine are having an argument right now, and i don’t want you to see that” Venti quickly reaches over to turn off Xiao’s phone.

 

“Why not?” Xiao asks breaking eye contact with Venti

 

“….” Venti reaches out a hand. He turns Xiao’s head to look at him. “I care about you…I just don’t want you to get flashbacks..”

 

“….Isn’t this a date..?”

 

“Oh yeah! Whoops!” giggled Venti. “Let’s go!”

 

—- {this took place around venti and xiaos date}

 

“Tomo, what do you think you are doing?”

 

“Nothing” he replied, voice laced with bad intentions .

 

“I can feel that you are gonna do something bad” Kazuha replies, opening an eye to look at his lover.

 

“I’m not gonna do anything baaad…okay maybe it’s something bad”  Tomo says sheepishly. “But it will be fun! Come on,  pleaseee?”

 

Kazuha turns to look at his lover. “Final answer : no, we are going on a date,”

 

“Wait really?”

 

“Yes”

 

—- {after the 2 dates}

 

fruit basket

 

 

itto : WOAH WOah woah

itto : i feel like we said something we didnt mean to sayy heerree

 

lumine : I meant it.

 

hu tao : oh hey

hu tao : the cousins are in a locked vc

 

signora : gonna hack it

 

zhongli : call me gay but your dad text me “hey”

 

ei : you dont like me but you like stalking my page

 

makoto : (yikes)

 

venti : uno dos tres cuatro cinco

 

carmen : i dont speak spanish but

 

wendy : i know despacito

 

signora : …

signora : that is not what they are singing

 

venti : fuck off

 

signora : wow

signora : yk what

signora : they are listening to venti sing ‘prince ali’

 

venti : fuck off

venti : i hate you

 

ei : who is that

 

zhongli : xiao

 

xiao : what

xiao :

xiao : good bye

 

zhongli : xiao and me are doing backround notes for venti

 

barbara : ooh! does anyone have a recording of venti singing

 

signora : i do

 

venti : what

venti : no you dont

 

signora : The Tsaritsa sent them to me

 

venti : o

 

signora : IDoAdore.mp3

 

barbara : you are a great singer venti!!! ☺️☺️

 

venti : you’re a great singer too :))

 

—-

 

2:37 am

 

 

venti : i dont even have a real personality

venti : everthjng i do is just cooied from otber peokkr

venti : :(((((

 

ganyu : sometines i feel like im nor enoygh

ganyu : yk?

 

venti : i do kmow

venti : :(((

 

ganyu : :(((

 

—-

 

7:58 am

 

 

childe : ok lesson learned

childe : never let emotionaly unstable people be alone in a gc

 

xiao : who

 

childe : venti and ganyu

 

keqing : asked

 

childe : wtf stop bulling me

 

xingqiu : emotionally* bullying*

 

childe : oj fuvk ofg

 

xingqiu : oh* fuck* off*

 

childe : STOROO

 

xingqiu : stop*

 

beidou : GET HIS ASD

 

childe : ass*

 

ningguang : he has no ass.

 

beidou : omg ur so rite ningning

 

—-

 

child in fontaine, what will he do

 

—-

 

venti : ehe

 

childe : HOW DO YOU KNOOEW??

 

xingqiu : know*

 

venti : ehe

 

mona : OMG ANOTHER BLACKMAIL COLLECTER??

 

venti : YESSS

 

mona : HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE OF CHILD??

 

venti : 4836

 

mona : I HAVE 3936

 

venti : COOL. OOLL

 

childe : what…

 

hu tao : who

 

childe : what??

 

hu tao : asked

 

childe : NOO STIP IGG

 

xingqiu : stop* it*

 

bennett : not to be rude but uhm, why does child fall for every single one of the “who….asked” thing?

 

razor : p.  eeduiyd

 

lisa : its precious sweetie :)

 

razor : pr. e ct jkhs

 

rosaria : the almighty has spoken ; bennett is god

 

venti : all hail

 

carmen : all hail

 

amber : all hail

 

razor : al. lh ail

 

bennett : OMG!! Thank you guys :)

bennett : i just out of a sinkhole, and you guys made my day!!!! :)))

 

fischl : All divine subjects of thy Prinzess

fischl : fuck this

 

diluc : are you okay?

 

bennett : fischl you can tell is anything!! ( )

 

Venti : WE LOVE YOU BENNETT

 

—-

 

fischl’s loyal subjects

 

 

didi : fischl, are you okay?

 

veve : yea fish!

 

fifi : its been rlly hard for me this month

fifi : my parents are getting divorced, and neither of them want me :((

 

bebe : oh no fischl!! ( ´д ) you can come live with me if you want (*´v )

 

Fifi : thank you bennett

fifi : i would appreciate the offer, but they are sending me into foster care

 

jeje : Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that :(

 

fifi : its fine

fifi : lets go back to the gc

 

—-

 

child in fontaine, what will he do

 

 

barbara : Yes! we do :)

 

mona : ALL HAIL THE ALMIGHTY ONE

 

venti : ALL HAIL LORD BENNY

 

rosaria : ALL HAIL LORD BENNY

 

fischl : ALL HAIL LORD BENNY

fischl : wait

 

 

fischl has added (1) members

 

 

oz : lmao what

 

fischl : Dearest companions of mine, meet my blood slibling.

 

oz : hello everyone

 

bennett : Hello! ( o゚▽゚ )o

 

oz : omg so pure

 

ala : all hail lord benny

 

xiao : not you too

 

ala : something wrong with our savior??

 

oz : something wrong with our savior??

 

venti : something wrong with our savior??

 

ganyu : something wrong with our savior??

 

rosaria : something wrong with our savior??

 

xiao : Stop.

 

venti : thats what she said

 

xiao : NO.

 

ala : HAHA GET SHIT ON LIL BROTHER

 

xiao : STFU BEFORE I MURDER YOUR BF

 

venti : NO ONE WITH TOUCH MY BROTHER

venti : anyone but ala that is ;)

 

ala : STOPP WHAT.

 

venti : ♡

 

carmen : ?

 

venti : nothing dear sibling of mine

( ✿゚ ▽゚ )

 

carmen : uh okay

 

 

—-

 

OPERATION GANQING

 

 

venti : okay we clearly ddidnt thibk this thriugh

 

xingqiu : whatever do you mean?

 

venti : when are gq and bg gonna have their date

 

xingqiu : what

 

venti : ganqing and beiguang

 

xingqiu : @beidou @ningguang when r u guys free

 

beidou : we both r free tmr

 

venti : im going to spy on them ehe

 

xiao : what

 

venti : any ur coming with me ٩ (•̤̀ •̤́ )

 

xiao :

xiao : goodbye

 

shenhe : stop scaring him off

 

venti : anyway who will drive them

 

beidou : i can drive ganyu

 

ningguang : i will drive keqing.

 

venti : sweet

 

—-

 

venti -> ganyu

 

 

venti : tomorrow

venti : get ready

 

ganyu : what??

ganyu :

ganyu : oh

 

—-

 

xiao -> keqing

 

 

xiao : Keqing.

 

keqing : Xiao

 

xiao : It’s tomorrow, get ready.

 

keqing : Alright.

Chapter Text

venti : ganyu is currently leaving her household

 

xiao : wtf

 

xingqiu : splendid

 

ningguang : keqing and i are approaching my house.

 

venti : ok

venti : me and xiao will spy on you guys on the second day

 

beidou : alrighty

 

ningguang : arent you driving?

 

beidou : ya

 

ningguang : honey stop texting and driving

 

venti : thanks for reminding me that im single

 

ningguang : yw

 

—-

 

venti -> xiao

 

 

venti : im gonna change ur contact name

 

xiao : to what

 

venti : liebchen

 

xiao : that would only make sense in a sentence??

 

venti : oh

venti : then uhh

venti : oohh i got one

 

——

 

venti -> meine liebe

 

——

 

meine liebe : what did you change it to

 

venti : nothing :)

 

meine liebe : uh okay

 

—-

 

OPERATION GANQING

 

 

xingqiu : @beidou @ningguang tell us if anything major happens

xingqiu : if nothing happens we’ll have like venti confess to each other for them

 

beidou : im gonna pretend i understood that

 

ningguang : noted

 

beidou : we should get off of our phones now

beidou : they might get suspicious

 

ningguang : alright

 

venti : HAVE FUN!!!!

 

—-

 

child in fontaine, what will he do

 

 

hu tao : HELLO GAYS

hu tao : GUYS*

 

lumine : nono ur right

 

hu tao : WHOOPS

hu tao : ANYWYA HOW R U GUYS

 

lumine : im doing great!

 

jean : did any of you hear that?

 

lumine : nvm im terrible

lumine : why cant we have oNE PEACFUL DAY IN TEYVAT HIGH

 

 

makoto : yo was that an explosion??

 

sucrose : I’m so terribly sorry everyone! Mister Albedo’s newest experiment blew up because Kaeya tampered with it!

 

jean : noted, thank you sucrose

 

sucrose : Glad to be of service!

 

lumine : sucrose we love you

 

bennett : helloeveryone (^o^) 丿

bennett : suprisingly nothing bad has happened to me today!! o(^▽^)o

 

venti : thats great bennett!!!! ( ¯ ¯ )

 

bennett : thank you venti!! Ӧ )

 

venti : I LOVE YOU BENNY (in a platonic  way) ★´

 

bennett : aw shucks!!

bennett : i have to go now ︿⊙

bennett : fischl got in an accident :((

 

venti : oh no! send my regards to her please!!

 

bennett : will do!! ☆( ≧∀≦ *)

bennett : bye!!

 

venti : bye! (σ´ `)σ

 

lumine :

lumine : that was strangely wholesome...

 

—-

 

xiao -> ala

 

 

xiao : i might be falling in love

 

ala : dude

ala : arent yall dating???

 

xiao : yes

 

ala : ????

 

xiao : i might be falling into a deep hole of love

 

ala : how deep( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

xiao : NO STOP.

 

ala : ehe

 

xiao : DONT SAY THAT

 

—-

 

keqing -> xiao

 

 

keqing : shes just so cuuutteeee

keqing : WHHY XIAAOOOOO

keqing : I MIGHT PASS IUT

keqing : HELPO MEEE

keqing : XIAOOOOOOOOO

keqing : STOP IGNORING MEEEEEEE

keqing : I CANT DO THISSSSSS

keqing : PLSSSS

keqing : TWO WHOLE DAHSSS????

keqing : HEEEEEELLLLLLPPPOOOO MEEEEEEEEEGAAYYYYMANNNN

keqing : SHIT SHE SAW ME

keqing : I THINK SHE SAW MY FACE

keqing : MY LIFE IS RUINEDDD

keqing : SHE CANT KNOW I LIKE JER

keqing : S T O P P P

keqing : I G N O R I N G

keqing : M E

keqing : INEESD HELEO PLSSS

 

xiao : Goodbye.

 

keqing : WAIT NO COME BACK

 

xiao : What do you want.

 

keqing : HELP ME

 

xiao : If you wan relationship advice ask Hu tao, Lisa, or Yae Miko.

xiao : Now leave me alone.

 

keqing : WHAT ELSE R YOU DOING HUH??

keqing : MAKING IUT WITH SOMEONE!??

 

xiao : Actually…

xiao : Yes.

 

keqing : HUH

keqing : WAIT COME BACK

Chapter Text

ganyu -> gay

 

 

ganyu : venti :((

 

gay : yea?

 

ganyu : keqing is avoiding me :(((

ganyu : did i do something to upset her or something? what if she hates me?? DID I SAY SOMTHING THAT WAS OFFENSIVE TO HER???? OR DID I ACCIDENTALLY TAKE A THING THAT BELONG TO HER??? GAY THING HELP MEE

ganyu : VENTTIIIIJIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIIIIIII

 

gay : omg chill

gay : just like

gay : ask her out

 

ganyu : WHAT???

 

gay : nothing

gay : anyway

 

ganyu : HELELPPPP MEEE

 

gay : just like

gay : ask if shes okay

 

ganyu : OKA

 

-

 

ganyu : ok

ganyu : she said they were fine

 

gay : ok

gay : goodbye

 

ganyu : WHAT

 

—-

 

child in fontaine, what will he do?

 

 

venti : @carmen @wendy Why did none of you guys add me? :(

 

carmen : lmao what

 

wendy : ????

 

venti : It’s me, Dvalin.

 

carmen : oh shiy

 

venti : I have borrowed Venti’s phone to contact you fuckers.

 

wendy : HEY

 

venti : I am going to add myself and Boreas now.

 

 

venti has added (2) members to child in fontaine, what will he do?

 

 

dvalin : I am 29km away from your location, start running.

 

venti : DEAR BLOOD REALATIVES OF THY, DAVY STILE ME PHONE

 

carmen : we know

 

venti : HUh

 

xiao : scroll up

 

venti : ok bbg

 

xiao : uh okay

 

carmen : uses anemo to whisper in your ear

 

wendy : what the fuck

 

xiao :

 

carmen : gaygayhomosexualgay

 

xiao : i

xiao : i would’ve committed murder but i don’t think ala would like that

 

carmen : wha why

 

wendy : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

carmen  :  STIO WHAY

 

venti  : you and ala (◦˘ З(◦' ں ˉ ◦)♡

 

carmen : STOO WHAT

carmen : KSBSNDKDKDJFKNEHXJXSH

 

venti : HAHAHAHHAHA

 

wendy : PFF;TTT

 

carmen : DONT MAKE JT OUVLIC THAT YIURVAREVFAFTGJBG

 

wendy  : HEY TGATS MY LIJE

 

carmen : TOO BAD

 

venti : OK SHUT UP CARCAR

 

carmen : NO STOP

 

jean : oh.

 

ala : WSYM I WOULDNT LIKE THAG

 

xiao : it means ur

xiao : gaygayhomosexualgay

 

ala : STIP

 

ganyu : wait who are you again

 

ala : im the one hanging with ur mom

 

ganyu : BUT SHSRS DEAD???

 

ala : i know

 

xiao : ur adopted

 

beidou : i dont think thats our xiao

 

ala : WE are TWINS

ala : if I am ADOPTED then YOU are TOO

 

xiao : @carmen

xiao : start running

 

carmen : huh

carmen :

carmen : HEGAHDN

 

ala : DONT TOUCH THEM

 

xiao : dont worry dear brother

xiao : i didnt

 

dvalin : i did

 

ala : oh its you

 

dvalin : its me

 

xingqiu :

xingqiu : WHO ARE YOU

 

dvalin : dvalin

 

xingqiu :

xingqiu : YUNYUUUNNNN

 

shenhe : dont get near him.

 

chongyun : yes qiu?

 

xingqiu : wait nvm ill ask u later

 

chongyun : ????

 

kazuha : guys look

kazuha : bae.png

 

venti : IS THAT EI??? LMAFOOO

 

kazuha : whos ei?

 

venti : the girl with the purple hair???

 

kazuha : oh.

 

venti : im saving that

 

ei : do not

 

venti : i saved it

 

ei : fuck u

 

venti : fuck u2

 

ei : why do u do this to me

 

venti : is it not customary, to bully your realatives?

 

shenhe : …

 

venti : ehe

 

lumine : what do you mean ehe

 

aether : what do you mean ehe

aether : damnit why did you do it first

 

lumine : bc im better than u

 

aether : no ur not

 

venti : anyway

 

—-

 

OPERATION GANQING

 

venti : any updates??

 

beidou : my beloved ning is currently asleep on my chest

 

venti : mhm

 

beidou : victims are sleepinf together

 

venti : sweet

venti : sorry if i disrupted ur sleep

 

beidou : oh no its fine

 

venti : good night dont let the bed bugs bite

 

beidou : id rather get bitten than ning

 

venti : how sweet

 

beidou : ikr

 

venti : i gotta gnsndj&:!:

 

beidou : lmao venti???

beidou :

 

venti : ohh iimm fine. i jist nvm

 

beidou : its okay to have crushes yk

 

venti : ik

venti : op xiaos making me go sleep gn sleep well

 

beidou : you too

 

—-

 

child in fontaine, what will he do?

 

 

hu tao : venti??

 

xiao : their sleeping

 

hu tao : how do you know that?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

xiao : because they told me that they  are going to sleep???

 

hu tao : mhmm

 

aether : xiao is a terrible liar

 

lumine : believe him

 

hu tao : fineee

 

yanfei : tao please go to sleep

 

hu tao : i will

hu tao : if you let me sleep on ur boobs (·ω<)☆

 

yanfei : anything for you <333

 

hu tao : YAY( )

 

xiao : gross.

 

venti : xiao is a terrible liar

 

xiao : no im not

 

yanfei : mhm sureeee

 

xiao : vENTI DONT FUCKING READ THAT NEXT TO ME

 

venti : WHAT ARE GONNA DO ABT IT HUH HUH???

 

xiao : take your phone away

 

venti : nOOO

venti : DONT DOKDHIX

 

xiao : anyway

 

lumine : what was he reading

 

xiao : they were reading distant sky.

 

lumine : that reminds me

lumine : AETHER WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

 

aether : UP UR ASD

 

xiao : i hate this.

 

carmen : you looooove ussss( )♡ *

 

ganyu : you love venti more though

 

xiao : n i dont.

 

childe : IMG XIAO BROKEN GRAMMAR @zhongli WRITE THIS DOWB

 

xiao : Stfu. I know that you like Zhongli, Ajax.

 

childe : HUH HOW DI YOU KJOW THAG

 

zhongli : pardon?

 

venti : it’s obvious ginger man

 

xiao : i thought i took your phone

 

venti : you did :D but i took it back

*\(^o^)/*

 

xiao : go to sleep

 

venti : i will if ganyu does

 

ganyu : i have work to do! dont drag me into this :(

 

venti : sucks to suck

 

ganyu : FUCK YOU

 

keqing : thats my gf yall

 

ganyu : keqing i know we are good friends! no need to tell everyone :))

 

beidou : wait arent you 2 supposed to be sleeping

 

ganyu : me and my keqing woke up because we suddenly remembered we had work to do!!

 

venti : “my keqing”

 

ganyu : SHUT UP

 

ningguang : go to sleep before beidou knocks you out! or venti sedatives you!

 

beidou : huh

beidou : oh

beidou : YEAH! GO TO SLEEP

 

ganyu : but we have work to do..

 

venti : i can do it for you guys:D

 

ganyu : hm

ganyu : fine

 

venti : yay!

 

xiao : im taking your phone

 

venti : send the assignments to mjdh&:!

 

ganyu : oh?

ganyu : venti?

 

venti : IM BACK ٩ ( ) ۶

venti : i bribed him :D

 

ganyu : okay ill send you my work! i hope it isnt too much though!!

 

venti : its fine! :D

venti : you should go to sleep now

 

ganyu : yeah okay

 

xiao : VENTI

 

venti : al in a good days of work!!

 

beidou : sigh