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I was crying and you were there for me

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Atsushi could barely breathe. There they were, huddled up in that tight, unspacious box. They tried their best to curl up in the corner but there wasn't enough space for them to do that without using an arm to support their body. The air was heating up since their sliding door was shut. It was summer after all, it’d be normal for the area to warm up. Normally, if this happened, they would confront Kyouka who was just outside that area. But, Kyouka wasn't here, there was an overnight mission she had to complete. Atsushi's head clouded up with vicious and vivid memories of what they, unfortunately, had to call their childhood. They still didn’t understand. Why did they have to be abused and experimented on? What did they do to deserve this? Atsushi flinched as they started to physically recall all of the aches and pains they had experienced. Their hand clung to their chest, before focusing on a knock they heard. It was coming from.. their window?

“Knock Knock, anyone home?”
Atsushi couldn’t… recognise the voice, though it felt too familiar to them. They were afraid to open the sliding door, but they guessed they’d have to. A deep sigh escaped their lips before they crawled to the brown sliding door, opening it. They took a glance at the window, seeing a tall man, perhaps 180cm (5’9) tall. He had a weird thing wrapped around his neck and arms. Atsushi had to squint to tell what it was. Bandages? Atsushi’s eyes widened as they dashed over to the window, pulling it up to see Dazai face to face. “Hello, Atsushi-kun~! Oh my, you’re crying. Is this a bad time?” Atsushi jumped and shook their head, quickly wiping their tears away. “I’m... okay, why are you even here and how?” Dazai closed his eyes, smiling innocently like a little kid. Though he’d probably never smile like that when he was younger. “You see, I kind of predicted you’d have a hard night tonight, so I decided to come on by, and it wouldn’t have been fun if I came through the front door... So this was the next best option!” Atsushi was left shocked. They weren’t shocked because of his accurate prediction or even his explaining of entering through the window, they were shocked that Dazai knew they were going to have a mental breakdown and do something about it. Well, they didn’t know what the other had down his sleeve.

“Shoo Shoo, let me in.” Dazai crawled through the window, it was oddly fun for him to squeeze on through, most likely due to his past attempts of suicide. He stretched when he entered the apartment, yawning as he did. He then looked over to the younger one, who was still wiping their tears and almost trembling. “Atsushi-Kun, I thought you were over your past by now” Atsushi snapped their head up. “How can anyone be over their trauma by now? Do you know how many years I had to endure all that suffering? All that hammering down, lack of food, and electrocuting will never leave you. Never.” Dazai let out a sigh. He probably shouldn't say that anymore. Dazai looked at the other, trying his best to show them some sympathy. “Atsushi-Kun, no matter how much suffering one has experienced in the past, a person should never latch onto all that hatred they’ve built up for however long that period. There isn’t much to do about it now. The only thing you can do now as revenge is to leave it behind, be the person you’ve wanted to be.” Dazai put a bandaged hand on Atsushi’s cheek, Atsushi widening their eyes at the sudden contact. Atsushi nodded and started tearing up again. Dazai wrapped his other arm around the other's waist, pulling them close. “Atsushi-Kun, do you want to sit on the couch together? Maybe we can watch a movie and eat something” Atsushi looked up at the other, nodding. “That would be nice” Dazai drew a smile, holding the other's hand and guiding them to the kitchen.

The apartment wasn’t too big, but not small enough to only fit one person, at most three. Dazai approached the kitchen, it looked almost untouched, in terms of its actual usage. It was still fairly clean. “Do you even have food in your fridge?” “Yeah, but we don’t usually cook since Kyouka and I usually get takeaway” Atsushi yawned into Dazai’s shoulder. Dazai sighed. “Have you eaten anything at all today?” “A couple of fruits and that’s it, I was too busy at the Agency” Dazai walked over to the fridge. To his surprise, it was fully stocked with vegetables, different kinds of meat, and some drinks. He closed the fridge door, finding a bag of uncooked popcorn on the counter. “We can make some popcorn?” Atsushi stood next to the brunet, smiling and nodding.

Dazai took a hold of the bag, walking over to the microwave and opening the door. He read the instructions, Atsushi approaching him from behind. “How long do you cook popcorn for Atsushi-Kun?” “Doesn’t it say it on the package?” “You see, I’m incapable of telling what this microwave is, so no it doesn’t” Atsushi took a sigh, why did Dazai come, out of everyone who could have comforted them? Atsushi guessed it was because he was their boyfriend, which answered that question.

Atsushi still didn’t know the reason why Dazai took a liking to them. They had only recently met, which was when Atsushi found Dazai trying to kill himself. That occurred around 6 months ago, and about a month later after they met, Dazai confessed. Atsushi didn’t know what to do, they just froze in place for a bit. Atsushi always knew the other was attracted to women, so it shocked them when Dazai was being serious about his confession. They never knew much about relationships, only a bit they knew from a book they read when sneaking off to the orphanage’s library in the middle of the night. Date, marry and start a family. But, those people in those books were always containing a male and female, nothing more nothing less. That had always confused Atsushi but they forgot it very quickly. Until that moment of course. Atsushi only had to accept, but Dazai taught Atsushi all about same-sex love and relationships, and Atsushi finally understood thanks to him. They couldn’t have been more grateful for that.

Atsushi looked at the package then at the brunet. “I usually put them in for two and a half minutes” Dazai smiled, satisfied knowing the answer. Opening the microwave door, he stuck the bag in. Atsushi didn’t trust him enough so they were the one who closed the door and pressed 2, 3 and 0. Both of them took a step back, watching the bag spin in place whilst the numbers ticked down. Dazai was the first to break the silence. “At-su-shi-kunn~” Dazai embraced the younger one, receiving a flinch and a hug in response. “Yes, Dazai-san?” “I love you!” Atsushi smiled, kissing his forehead. “I love you too!” Dazai chuckled, looking back at the spinning bag.

A bit of time went by and the bag was blasting with yellow little spheres of energy. Atsushi escaped the other's grasp and leaned over to pick up a large bowl, enough to fit the cooked corn. Atsushi walked back and with Dazai’s assistance, poured the popcorn into the bowl. Atsushi smiled at Dazai and in response, Dazai pressed his lips against the other's lips. That only gave Dazai a tomato-faced Atsushi. Atsushi shook their head. They weren’t used to it just yet. Atsushi grabbed the bowl and headed off without the brunet. Dazai quickly chased after the white-haired male.

Atsushi had taken a seat on the couch that they and Kyouka always shared in the afternoons. But this time, it was Dazai and not Kyouka. That made Atsushi more comfortable. Dazai had a hand on the remote, as he started channel surfing for a show to watch. “Dazai-san” Dazai hummed with a question. “We can just search for a movie-” Atsushi grabbed the remote and got out Netflix, skimming through. “What type of movie do you want to watch?” Atsushi turned their head to the taller one. “Whatever you want to watch I guess, I’m the one comforting you” Dazai simply turned his head away. Atsushi’s heart sank deep. Atsushi turned off the TV.

Their heart started beating fast again, just as it did when they remembered their past. Why was Dazai mad at them? They didn’t say anything weird, did they? They clenched onto their chest, it was like they had a knife stabbed through their back, though they had experienced that. Atsushi looked away, curling their knees to their chin. They could feel tears coming down. Why were they crying? Dazai just said one sentence right? Atsushi looked around. They heard sentences being said over and over in their head. They covered their ears, imagining that that would do something but it didn’t. Atsushi was panicking mentally when they felt a tap on their shoulder.

“Are you okay Atsushi-Kun?” Atsushi quickly shook their head before burying their face in the other’s chest, feeling a warm embrace given by the other. Atsushi blushed and looked up at the other, barely seeing Dazai’s full face since he leaned forward to their forehead and kissed it softly. It strained the back of his neck to do so since he was laying down but he ignored it since he had better stuff to deal with. “Dazai... Did I do something to upset you?” Atsushi kept sobbing from time to time, and they hated it. They didn’t want to show someone like Dazai this, since it’s already happened two times before. “Of course not! I just don’t usually watch tv so I find it boring. I shouldn't have suggested it if I knew I wouldn’t like it. Forgive me, Atsushi-Kun” Dazai started giving sweet, affectionate kisses all over the others' face, trying his best to reassure them. Atsushi chuckled, they found it a bit ticklish. The brunet had his bandaged hands on their cheeks, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. “I forgive you for now I suppose” Dazai groaned. “I’ll work on building your trust for me” Atsushi raised an eyebrow. “How about I take you out for dinner tomorrow?”