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AskFics Set Two

Chapter Text

It’s not Dan’s fault he’s staring. Phil’s just especially adorable when he’s asleep; his mouth hangs open a little, and his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks with each soft exhalation, reminding Dan just how much he loves him.

The only fault he finds is the lack of blue eyes to stare into, but Dan will make do with how Phil’s dark hair falls against his face instead. 

“You’re so beautiful, Phil Lester,” Dan says on a soft sigh, reaching out with gentle fingers to press against smooth cheeks, laughing quietly when Phil snorts in his sleep and starts to roll over. 

“Except when you snore,” he teases fondly, remembering what had woken him up at five in the morning in the first place.

Phil doesn’t respond - not that Dan was expecting him too anyway - and Dan sighs, reaching out to wrap an arm around Phil’s waist and drag him closer until he’s spooning him, face pressed into the crook of his neck.

“I love you,” he whispers, like it’s a secret. “More than you know,” he adds on, because to him, maybe that part really is a secret. 

“Sorry I’m not always so good at expressing it,” he says, pulling Phil tighter to him and closing his eyes. “But I love you,” he says.

He sighs when Phil doesn’t respond, feeling relaxed and overly sentimental now that there’s no real audience around to embarrass himself too. It’s five in the morning, and all he can think about is how happy he is that Phil is his. Even if his snoring does wake him up more often than not.

Dan smiles.

They’ve been together five years now, and he’s just now realizing how long that is. How many nights Phil’s snoring really has woken him up. How many nights Dan’s spooned Phil like this - how many nights Phil has spooned Dan.

He pulls Phil in closer to him.

“I can’t believe how far we’ve come,” he murmurs. “It’s been five years,” he continues, pressing a gentle kiss to Phil’s neck and glimpsing the small smile that forms on Phil’s face in reaction. 

Dan chuckles and kisses him again.

“Five fucking years,” he muses. “Maybe it’s time we get married,” he wonders aloud. Phil’s body stiffens, and then immediately relaxes, and Dan peers suspiciously at Phil’s face, but his breathing is still even, and his features still relaxed. 

Dan starts rubbing small circles into Phil’s waist. 

Maybe they really should get married. 

“We could have an outdoor wedding, ‘cause I know how much you’ve always wanted that,” he muses aloud, “With balloon archways and everything. Adventure Time themed, because we’re fucking dorks,” he says, and laughs softly, smiling down fondly at Phil.

“Yeah…I think we could do that,” he says, and then presses another kiss against Phil’s neck softly.

“I think you’d like that,” he says.

Phil’s eyelashes flutter.

Dan grins.

“Will you marry me, Phil Lester?”

There’s no response, and Dan bites his lip against a grin.

The body beside him is tense. 

Dan waits.

Phil rolls over, stupid grin on his face as those blue eyes Dan loves so much slowly open.

“Yes,” he murmurs, and then presses his lips to Dan’s softly, fingers intertwining with Dan’s. “Of course I’ll marry you,” he says against Dan’s lips, and then presses into him again.

Dan can’t stop grinning.

Chapter Text

Phil is wide awake in his bedroom, propped up against his headboard with his laptop placed strategically against his knees to keep most of the heat away from his lap, when Dan stumbles drunkenly into the flat at two in the morning, singing loudly off key, and bumping into the walls as he attempts to make his way up the stairway.

“Dan?” Phil asks in a worried tone. “You okay down there?” he calls. 

“Phil!” Dan shouts back, his drunken singing abruptly cutting off, “I misssssed you!” he slurs.

Phil’s brows furrow. “How much have you had to drink?” he calls back, finally getting out of his browsing position when he hears a loud thump and nothing else. “Dan?”

There’s no answer.

“Dan, are you okay down there?” he asks, starting to get a little bit worried.

His only response is a loud groan. 

Sighing heavily, Phil makes his way out of his bedroom and stops at the top of the stairway when he finds that Dan has only managed to make it half way up.

“You idiot,” he says fondly.

"Phil!” Dan exclaims in response, looking up and smiling so big it nearly splits his face in half, his dimples popping.“You’re heeeere!” he says.

“Yes, Dan. I’m here,” Phil replies with a gentle laugh, starting to make his way down the steps to help Dan up, but Dan stops him by scrambling up himself, falling almost immediately into Phil’s arms as he does so.

“I missed you so muuuuuch, Phil!’ Dan groans, snuggling his face into the crook of Phil’s neck where’s landed. “I thought I was goi-going to die without chu!” he says, and then he’s pressing kisses into the base of Phil’s neck. 

Phil’s eyes go wide with uncertainty. Their relationship isn’t like this. It hasn’t been like this since 2009,

“Dan?” Phil asks, eyes wide.

“I don’…I don’ think I can do this anymore Phiiiil,” Dan whines, pressing more kisses into the skin of Phil’s neck and cheek. “I ‘ove you,” he says, and then he’s slamming his lips against Phil’s like this is completely normal procedure. 

“Wait - what!?” Phil asks, struggling against Dan’s hold slightly as he tries to gently pull him away, lips tingling from where they’d been pressed together just moments before. “Dan, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying-”

“No!” Dan shouts, suddenly frowning aggressively at Phil, arms wrapped around his neck - Phil’s not even sure when that happened.

“I’m no’ - I’m no’ just drunk, Philip!” Dan crows, swaying in Phil’s hold now. “I - I - I really love you!” he says, going in for another kiss. Phil’s so surprised, he lets it happen. 

It’s sloppy, and nothing more than wet lips against dry ones, but Dan still pulls away with a triumphant grin.

“I knew it!” he says, swaying into Phil again and resting his forehead against his shoulder. “I knew you loved me too…” he mumbles, and then he’s fast asleep in Phil’s arms, complete deadweight that makes Phil sag underneath him.

“Dan?” Phil asks, still bewildered, heart racing in his chest. “Dan?” he asks again, but when he gets no answer, he sighs and jams his arms under Dan’s in order to drag him back to Phil’s bedroom.

There’s a small smile starting to form on Phil’s lips though, and once he’s got Dan stripped in bed, he cuddles up to him gently.

In the morning, Dan’s eyes are wide, and Phil’s smiling at him like he know’s all his secrets.

“I love you too,” he says, and presses their lips together, gently this time. Dan can do nothing but smile into it.

Chapter Text

They’re fighting again; teeth barred, spittle flying off their lips, and hands balled into fists at their sides.

They’ve been fighting a lot lately. They just can’t seem to get along. 

Maybe it’s the stress, or maybe it’s for real.

Maybe they’re just not right for each other, neither really knows.

All they know is that they’re both trying so hard to hold onto something that’s falling apart, and it’s just lucky that their fights haven’t dissolved into something physical yet. 

Not that either one of them would hit the other, but…well. That’s just how it goes.

“If you could just shut the cupboard doors for once!”

“Maybe if you didn’t send me into the kitchen for cups of coffee every five minutes, I would!”

“Me!? Whose the coffee fanatic around here, Phil? You, not me!”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. You drink just as much coffee as me, Dan!”

“At least I clean up after myself!”

“What’s the point when I’m just going to have to clean up my mess again ten minutes later?”

It goes on. 

And on.

And on.

Stupid things, really. Nothing that really matters. Neither one of them is neglecting the other, cheating, or doing anything particularly obnoxious. It’s just the little things. 

But the little things always hurt the most.

“You know what Phil, I wish I’d never met you!” Dan screams through gritted teeth, throwing the little ceramic frog Phil had given him for his birthday - the first one they’d ever shared together - on the ground, and watching it shatter at his feet.

They’re both stunned into silence, Dan’s chest heaving, and Phil’s face falling.

“Fuck, Phil. I’m sorry-”

“Yeah, well, if it weren’t for me, you’d be nobody Dan. You’d probably be dead,” Phil spits back, face red with anger as he falls to his knees to brush the shards of the present into a neat little pile at his feet. 

The words hit like a punch to Dan’s gut, and there it is - the almost physical entering into their relationship. 

Dan backs away. Phil’s mumbling angry words into the ground, and Dan can see his tears hitting the ground, but he almost doesn’t even care at that point.

He turns his back and leaves.

Chapter Text

They’re pressed together gently, the spaces nonexistent between them, Phil’s body pressed against Dan’s tightly on the bed. Dan’s fingers are threaded through Phil’s damp hair, their breathing heavy and bodies trembling, and Dan can do nothing but laugh into the skin of Phil’s neck.

“What?” Phil asks, the word a breath against Dan’s naked skin. He hasn’t even pulled out yet, his cock buried deep inside of Dan, but Dan likes it like that.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” is all Dan can say in response, and then Phil is chuckling into Dan’s neck as well. 

“Yeah,” he agrees breathlessly, kissing Dan softly before his hot breath continues to puff gently against Dan's skin. 

“That was amazing,” Dan adds, once he’s able to open his mouth again.

Phil doesn’t respond, but he does tighten his hold around Dan’s mid section, and nods into his neck.

They’re quiet, other than their breathing, as they wind down from their highs, fingers tracing light patterns into each other’s skin just because they can. They finally can

After months and months of nothing but skype calls, they finally can.

Dan presses a kiss into Phil’s shoulder, and Phil presses one back.

It becomes a game: Dan kisses Phil’s neck, and Phil kisses just under Dan’s ear lobe. Dan nibbles on Phil’s ear, and Phil plays with his earring. 

They laugh gently against one another.

“I love you,” Dan says, and the words are not only new on his tongue, but new to their relationship.

Dan holds his breath, and Phil stills on top of him.

“Dan,” he breathes, turning his head and lifting his body gently to finally look Dan in the face.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs against Dan’s lips, and then they’re kissing again, the spaces between them disappearing once again.

Dan’s got his fingers threaded through Phil’s, and Phil’s hips are rocking gently against him, and neither boy minds as they start a gentle second round.

Dan’s whimpering, and Phil’s gasping, and the seed already filling Dan’s ass makes the slip and slide of their movements easier, but Dan doesn’t mind it.

Dan doesn’t mind it at all, when, this time, Phil is whispering gentle “I love you’s” against his skin with each push and pull of his hips.

Chapter Text

It’s their wedding day, and they really shouldn’t be crying, but they are. They’re happy tears, but tears none the less, as they stand hand in hand at the alter. 

A balloon archway stands above them, both men decked out in black suits with matching red ties, and their guests are sitting on lawn chairs in a park. 

Their officiator is almost all formal except for a cheesy birthday hat placed securely on his head, a smile on his face, as he stands almost between them with one hand on each of their shoulders.

Their wedding cake is 3 tiers high, topped with Adventure Time characters and decorated with the candy kingdom inhabitants molded out of sweet chocolate. 

Their family members sit in the front row, crying as well, both mothers wiping under their eyes with handkerchiefs.

Everything is just as they’d always wanted, and yet here they are, crying as they wait for the moment they get to say their vows.

Phil goes first, taking a deep breath and sniffling quietly.

“Daniel James Howell,” he starts. “I’ve loved you since you were 18 years old, and shorter than me,” he says, and Dan can’t help but laugh, the sound coming out kind of strangled by the tears in his throat. 

“We’ve had 5 long years together, but that’s not nearly enough for me. I can’t wait to have you by my side for the rest of our life, through sickness and health, through the good and the bad times, and until death do us part.”

He smiles at Dan, and Dan smiles back, hands trembling in Phil’s as he clears his throat to say his part.

“Philip Michael Lester,” he starts. “I’ve loved you since I was 18 years old and shorter than you,” he says, mocking Phil lightly and bursting into a fit of strangled laughter at his own words.

He clears his throat and continues, still trembling.

“I never thought I’d have a best friend, someone who only called me that, but here I am. And not only are you my best friend, but the love of my life. I couldn’t be happier to be tying myself to you at this moment, for the rest of our lives, despite the fact that you leave all the cupboards open and eat my cereal,” he continues, and he can’t help but laugh through his tears again when Phil throws his head back and laughs as well, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

“I love you, Dan,” Phil says, interrupting their officiator.

“I love you, too, Phil,” Dan responds, and the moment the officiator gives the okay, they lean in to kiss each other.

Chapter Text

Dan hadn’t meant to overhear. Honestly, he’d meant to just go ahead and walk in the moment he’d heard Phil speaking on the phone. Neither one of them were much for sneaking around, but then…Dan had heard Phil say “No, he’s not here,” and curiosity had gotten the better of him.

There were only two people who lived in their flat, and Dan knew Phil knew he was home, so, rather than announcing his arrival into the room, Dan stopped next to the doorway with baited breath for the conversation to continue.

“He went out,” Phil said, and Dan could hear the irritation in his voice. “For work,” Phil continued. There was a long pause.

“Yes, we’re still doing the ‘stupid youtube thing,’” Phil said through gritted teeth, and Dan’s eyes went wide at the realization of who was on the phone.

Knees going weak, Dan slumped down quietly so he was sitting on the floor, and waited to hear what Phil would have to say to Dan's father.

“Yes, we’re still together.”

“I don’t think so, sir. Dan doesn’t need to hear any of that from his own parent.”

“I assure you we’re quite happy together.”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“Look. To be quite honest, sir, I think I’m taking better care of your son than you ever did, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop calling here. Clearly, Dan doesn’t want to talk to you, or he’d answer his own damn phone, and if I’m being honest, I’m not comfortable with you having this number at all. I think it’s about time you left Dan alone. He’s made his choice, and you’ve made yours. That’s the end of it. I’m going to get this number changed, and if you come near me or my boyfriend ever again, I will file for a restraining order.”

Dan heard the landline being slammed against his holder, and then there was silence.

There were tears in his eyes.

Phil sighed from the other room, and Dan let out a low, pitiful whine. There was  a gasp, and then Phil was at his side in moments.

“Oh, Bear. You weren’t meant to hear any of that!” Phil whispered as he dragged Dan into a hug, arms wrapped tight around him. “I hope you don’t mind, it’s just - I know you’ve been avoiding your father lately and I-”

“It’s fine, Phil,” Dan choked out, head buried in Phil’s shoulder. “That’s just…it’s just - that was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” Dan said, and then he was smiling and laughing through his tears as he grabbed Phil’s face in his hands and kissed him with all the love in his heart.

“Thank you,” he murmured against Phil’s lips, and then kissed him again.

Chapter Text

The worst part, for Phil, is how it happened. He’d never meant for it get this way; they were just friends, after all. Best friends.

And then Dan had gone and ruined it all with that stupid kiss.

Phil’s back had been pressed into the dirty kitchen counter of a friends house, the lights dim, as Dan had crowded in against him, his breath tainted with the smell of alcohol.

Phil had been tipsy, but Dan had been wasted, and they’d been giggling into each other’s sides all night. Dan’d still had a bottle of Jack clapsed in one hand, the other pressed into the counter near Phil’s hip, when it happened.

One moment, Phil’s eyes had been wide with indecision, and the next, Dan had been kissing him, tongue tasting of alcohol and yet still managing to be the best kiss Phil had ever had.

He’d pulled away, dazed.

“Fuck, you don’t know how much I want you, Phil Lester,” Dan had said, the only words spoken between the two of them for the rest of the night, even as Phil had pressed Dan into the mattress of one of the guest rooms and fucked him messily.

Dan remembered in the morning, but Phil wishes he hadn’t.

“What’s casual fucking between friends, amirite? Besides, I’m not into cock,” Dan had said.

You were into cock last night when I fucked you with mine, Phil had thought, but he didn’t say it aloud.

He never said it aloud.

Now it’s the end, and Dan’s looking at him with pitying eyes, and Phil regrets everything. He regrets agreeing to be fuck buddies for over three years, and regrets agreeing to move in together. He regrets letting Dan kiss him that night, and he regrets telling Dan how he feels.

“Phil, I’ve found someone,” Dan had said, his grin so big and happy that Phil could do nothing but destroy it.

And now it’s the end, because, rather than Dan being destroyed, Phil had been destroyed instead.

“I’m not into cock, Phil. You know that,” Dan says, and Phil leaves because you’ve been into my cock for three fucking years, Dan Howell, and I’m done with you.

Chapter Text

“I can’t wait to look back on this with our children,” Phil says, and Dan can’t help but grin at Phil as they finger through their new book, sides pressed together softly.

“Me too,” Dan replies, giddy inflection slipping from his voice via a high pitched laugh at the end. Phil looks up at him then, and his eyes are shining so brightly that Dan can’t help but lean forward and kiss him.

He feels Phil smile into it, and they pull away.

“I love you,” Dan says.

“I love you, too,” Phil says, and they go back to thumbing through their new book, trying to find last minute changes before they send it off to the publishers officially.

“You’ll be the best man at my wedding, right?” Phil asks, and it’s like Dan’s entire world has come crashing down around him in that one moment.

“What?” he asks, and he knows he sounds like the wind has just been knocked out of him, but Phil doesn’t look at him. 

“My best man. I mean, it’s not like we’re going to be together forever, is it? You know how badly I want children, Dan. And…well, we can’t really have that together. We both knew this wasn’t going to last,” Phil says, and Dan tumbles from the top of the world to the bottom. 

His head is spinning already, and he feels like he’s going to throw up, but Phil’s still talking.

“I was thinking. Once the book goes out, we should probably start thinking about moving out,” he rambles, and Dan’s begun to tune him out until Phil says “After all, we’ve built a literal book of memories together, and I think that’s the most natural ending we could ever have.”

Dan gets up on shaky legs, and stares down at Phil with his heart in his hands.

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. Maybe we should just end it now,” he says, and walks away.

Chapter Text

The day has finally arrived. The big reveal of the project they’ve spent an entire year of their lives on, The reveal of the project they’re still spending time on. But they couldn’t be happier. They feel on top of the world as Dan posts the video, the cinematic one they created to introduce their project in the most creative way they could think of. 

And Phil just wants to scream he’s so excited. 

But they stay away from twitter. They get off the internet entirely, to wait for the news to settle. They disappear into their lounge, cell phones in their bedrooms, and have a movie marathon.

Phil’s on one side of the sofa, and Dan’s on the other, but their feet are entangled the way they always are, and Phil’s staring at Dan’s face instead of the movie, but Dan doesn’t even notice.

For that Phil is grateful. Because they’ve just written a book that’s chronicled the entirety of their friendship, and all Phil wants to do is reach out and hold Dan’s hand the way he’s wanted to since he first met him at the train station six years ago.

Only he can’t, because their relationship isn’t like that.

And isn’t that the biggest damper on his mood.

“I love you,” Phil murmurs into the near silent air.

“Hmm? What was that?” Dan asks, but Phil just shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he says, this time louder, and smiles at Dan when Dan finally turns to look at him.

Dan smiles back, and it’s the most painful thing Phil’s seen all day, because he just wants to press his lips to that mouth, and he can’t.

He can’t.

Chapter Text

Phil’s got him tucked into his side on the sofa, his arms draped over Dan’s shoulder comfortingly as Dan cries, and all Dan can feel is relief at being held by someone so dear.

He’s not even sure why he’s so upset. He just kind of is. The world is just a dark, oppressing place right now that’s making him want to burrow into nothing - but Phil’s arms are better.

“It’s going to be okay, Bear,” Phil is saying, mumbling the words into the top of Dan’s hair, and placing kisses there just because he can. Dan cuddles more into him.

“I know,” he whispers back, even though he’s not so sure. From here, it doesn’t seem like it.

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” Phil suddenly says, standing up abruptly and relinquishing his hold on Dan. Dan whimpers, and stares up at him, confused.

There are tear tracks on his cheeks, and he’s still kind of crying, just a little bit.

Phil smiles at him, and leaves the room.

Dan falls over and settles against the sofa arm.

When Phil comes back, he’s carrying the Adventure Time Munchkin game, and Phil’s duvet. 

“Phil,” Dan protests with a tiny smile. “We can’t play that.”

“Why not?” Phil asks.

“Because we can’t exactly sit side by side with the duvet over our shoulders while playing a competitive game,” Dan says, sniffling.

“Yes we can!” Phil argues with a grin, dropping the things on the ground, and taking Dan’s hand to pull him up off the sofa.

Dan goes willingly enough, falling into Phil’s arms with a soft grin, and sighs as Phil kisses the top of his head again.

“Come on,” Phil urges, dragging them both to the ground. “Let me kick your ass at Munchkin.”

They both know Phil will let him win, and, if Dan sneaks a few peaks at Phil’s hand from to time, well. Neither of them mind.

Chapter Text

It’s midnight, and a school night, and their parents would absolutely kill them if they knew, but their laying together in the grass out in the back of Phil’s house, and the stars are shining so brightly neither one of them can look away.

Their fingers are intertwined in the space between them, thumbs fiddling with each other gently, and they couldn’t be happier. They honestly couldn’t be happier than they are when they’re together. 

“Pretty romantic, don’t you think?” Phil asks, voice low and sincere. Dan snorts at him.

“Don’t you mean cheesy?” Dan responds. Phil rolls his eyes at him.

“Romantic,” he reasserts, squeezing Dan’s fingers with his.

Dan rolls his eyes too, but he’s grinning.

“Romantic,” he agrees.

They’re silent, enjoying each others company with no one else around, hearts beating eerily in sync. The moon and the stars are shining down at them brightly, and if Phil turns his head, he can see the perfect halo of light shining just over Dan’s head.

He grins, because he loves this boy, with his long brown hair spread out across the grass, and the warm eyes he knows are completely captivated by the night sky.

“I think I want to marry you, one day,” Phil says, and watches as Dan slowly turns his head.

“Yeah?” he asks, breathless.

“Yeah,” Phil assures him, squeezing his fingers once again.

Dan rolls over to him, letting go of his hand and not stopping until he’s propped up right over Phil. He’s grinning down at him, his dimple’s popping, and Phil reaches up to run his hand through soft hair.

“I love you,” Dan says.

“I love you, too,” Phil responds.

Dan leans down to kiss him, and they melt into each other.

Chapter Text

Phil’s got Dan bent over the kitchen table, his hands tight against his hips as he rocks into him. His lips are pressing soft kisses into the smooth planes of Dan’s back, and he’s trying not to moan at the feeling of Dan rocking back into him.

“Fuck, Phil, more,” Dan whines, but Phil ignores it, continuing the gentle movements of his hips, rolling them up and pulling back slowly, rolling them up, and pulling back. 

Dan is gasping underneath him, writhing in his hold, and Phil loves it. He loves the way Dan is wriggling against him, and how Phil can make him feel with each soft thrust, but mostly, he just loves giving Dan pleasure.

“Phil, please,” Dan whines, and his fingers are scrabbling against the kitchen table now, so Phil speeds up his thrusts just a little bit, reaching down to cup Dan’s balls in one hand, and stroke his cock with the other.

“Do you like that, baby?” he asks gently, pressing another kiss between his shoulder blades.

“God, yes,” Dan groans. the sound muffled against the skin of his arm.

Phil smiles.

“Do you want to turn around?” he asks. Dan doesn’t answer, too busy mewling against the skin in his mouth, but he does nod his head pretty frantically, so Phil pulls out gently and flips Dan over quickly.

He’s back inside of Dan before he can say anything, and pressing sweet kisses into his abdomen now, knees gently propped up by Phil’s arms. 

“I love you,” Phil whispers against Dan’s skin, glancing up shyly from under his eyelashes. 

Dan’s writhing, eyes screwed shut as he bites his lip, and the sight makes Phil grin as he presses in tighter to Dan, closing his eyes in pleasure. 

He returns his hand to Dan’s cock, just to watch him writhe more, and catches Dan’s next moan in the back of his throat, licking into Dan’s mouth and stealing his breath away.

“You’re beautiful,” Phil says, as he pulls away, feeling the heat starting to pool in his abdomen. “So beautiful,” he repeats, and watches as Dan comes undone below him at 1 in the morning. 

“I love you,” Dan moans, clenching around him, slumping against the kitchen table as Phil continues thrusting into him until he comes as well, orgasm taking him unexpectedly. He shakes as he empties himself out into Dan, and then he leans down and kisses Dan again.

“Beautiful,” he reiterates, just in case Dan hadn’t heard him the first time. “So beautiful.”

Chapter Text

It’s not often that they drive. They’ve lived in the city so long, it takes a while to even get used to the controls again, but it’s like riding a bike, and it comes back easily enough.

Phil’s behind the wheel this time, the two of them visiting his parents down in Manchester for the weekend, and being sent out on errands because Phil was “nothing more than a glorified errand boy,” as he’d put it.

Dan doesn’t mind.

As often as they make fun of Phil’s driving, Dan actually enjoys it. He loves the feeling of sitting back and relaxing as Phil chauffeurs him around. 

The radio is playing old Muse songs, funnily enough, and it’s making Dan smile, because Phil’s singing along aggressively, and completely out of tune, shooting little smiles at Dan that let him know he’s doing it on purpose. 

Dan laughs, because he can’t help it, and Phil’s making these funny little faces, his eyes screwed shut in exaggeration as he screams out the next line.

And then, suddenly, there’s a loud screeching noise, and both boys tense and wince as they skirt through an intersection, just narrowly avoiding being hit by a truck.

“Was that light red?”

“No, it was green.”

“What the fuck was that guy doing!?”

“Phil, watch the road!” Dan screams, heart racing in his chest, and they’re no longer in any immediate danger, but Dan doesn’t even care any longer. They just nearly got killed, and there’s no way in hell Dan’s losing Phil anytime soon.

Phil shuts up, and reaches out to turn off the radio. The car is silent.

They arrive at the grocery store not five minutes later, and when the car turns off, they both slump back against their seats.

“Fuck,” Dan mutters.

“I love you,” Phil replies. When Dan turns to look at him, he’s got tears in his eyes.

“We’re safe, Phil,” Dan reassures him, reaching out to clasp his hand in his. “We’re safe,” he assures, pulling him into a hug. “And I’m never letting you go.”

Chapter Text

“I just don’t understand why you always have to be a dick to my parents,” Phil grumbles as they make their way down the highway in the middle of the night. They’ve been driving for two hours already, and haven’t spoken a word to each other since they left Phil’s parents house.

It’s one in the morning now, and Phil’s tired, hands tight on the steering wheel.

Dan grumbles something back intelligibly, and Phil rolls his eyes.

“What was that?” he asks, annoyed. 

“I said, they don’t like me.”

“Of course they don’t like you, you’re always a dick to them!” Phil growls, frustrated. 

Dan grumbles again, and Phil sighs.

“They like you well enough, Dan. They’re happy I’m happy, no matter who I’m with. I wish you would just understand that.”

“Bullshit,” Dan says, and Phil turns to him, brows furrowed.

“It’s not bullshit, Dan!”

“Yes it is! Do you know what they say to me every single time you leave the room? ‘It’d be in your best interest to break up with him, now. One day, he’ll come to his senses, and find a nice women to settle down with,’” Dan mocks, and Phil can’t help the fact that his jaw drops open in surprise.

“Dan, no. That’s not - do they really say that to you?” he asks, flabbergasted. 

“Yes! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for years, Phil!” Dan groans, throwing his hands up in frustration, and Phil’s attention is completely diverted from the road now. 

The car wheels are shifting to the right without Phil noticing as he reaches out with one hand to take Dan’s hand, brows furrowed.

“I’m sorry, Dan, I didn’t know,” he says quietly.

“Whatever,” Dan grumbles.

Phil opens his mouth to say something else, but then suddenly there’s a loud honking, and Phil’s head whips back to the road where he see’s the median rushing towards them.

He screams, jerking the wheel hard to the left, and the car does a tail spin, knocking Dan against the passenger side window. His head strikes, and he’s knocked out cold.

Phil is still screaming, the car screeching as he tries to take control, tries to straighten them out, but it’s too late. 

Phil’s head whips back against his seat, and his body lurches forward as he strikes another car, and then the world goes black.

Chapter Text

Dan wakes up in an unfamiliar room, body completely relaxed against a familiar green, blue, and purple comforter, to the sound of low murmuring. 

When he glances at the clock on the nearby table, he finds that it’s only 6 in the morning, and he very nearly goes back to sleep when he hears his name.

“Dan’s here, yeah.”


Dan smiles, cuddling down into the bed, and closing his eyes. He’s alert now, listening in to what was probably meant to be a private conversation, but he’s awake now, and Phil should have shut his bedroom door all the way if he’d meant to keep out intruding ears.

“Yeah. He’s even more amazing in person,” Dan hears Phil murmur, and his grin only widens, because awww. He can feel his cheeks turning red from embarrassment, and buries his face further down into the pillow he’s laying on. Phil’s pillow - the one that smells just like him. 

“I can’t believe it either, to be honest,” Phil says.

There’s a long pause.

“He kissed me last night.” Dan flushes even harder at the reminder, squirming in bed as he thinks of how amazing Phil’s lips had felt against his last night. 

They’d kissed multiple times, making out in Phil’s bed before cuddling up together and sleeping. Dan’s lips still tingle from the sensation.

“My heart did that little flippy over thing, and I…he’s the most genuine person I’ve ever met,” Phil continues, and he sounds so sincere that Dan’s breath catches in his throat.

His eyes are wide open now, and he’s never felt more loved.

“Yeah. I know. But I trust him. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s so gentle, and soft…it’s him I’m worried about. I don’t want to hurt him,” Phil says. Dan can feel tears prickling behind his eyes.

“I won’t. I know it’s only been a few months, but…he already means the world to me.”

Dan rolls over and presses his face into Phil’s pillow at those words, and he can’t stop laughing, because fuck, he’s never felt so important, so real, and it’s all because of this amazing man he’s met over the internet.

Dan doesn’t even know Phil’s gotten off the phone until he feels the mattress dip, and then warm arms are encompassing him and pulling him into a sturdy chest. 

Dan relaxes against Phil, and drifts back to sleep with a giddy smile on his face.

Chapter Text

“I’ve literally been out all day working on this stupid advert, and you’re telling me you couldn’t be bothered to tidy the apartment? I literally asked you to do one thing today, Phil! One thing!” Dan screamed, hands in the air out of frustration, and chest heaving angrily. 

Phil could only stare at him, mouth set in a firm line as he tried to order his thoughts enough to respond.

“You’ve had days where you couldn’t be bothered to move either, Dan,” Phil replied as calmly as he could. “It’s not like I asked you to do it for me. I said I’d get it taken care of tomorrow.”

“We have to meet with the editors tomorrow, Phil! I asked you to do it today because we aren’t going to have time to do it later!”

“Who said? It’s not like I can’t get up early , or stay up late. It’s not like I didn’t do it just so I would have an excuse not to do it all. I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this!”

“Because I’ve been working my ass off for this stupid book, and you’ve literally done nothing all day!” Dan screamed. 

Phil winced at that, and looked away, gaze downcast as his eyes began to water. He wasn’t going to cry. He absolutely refused to cry because Dan was tired, and grumpy, and being an asshole right now. 

So he stood up, stared at Dan disapprovingly, and left the room. 

There was a knock at his door, two hours later. Phil was curled up in bed, the lights off, and didn’t bother to respond.

Dan entered anyway.

“Phil?” he whispered.


“…I’m sorry about earlier,” Dan said. Phil heard the door slip shut, but didn’t turn around.

“I was just tired, and stressed out, and I didn’t think about how you might be feeling.”

Phil still didn’t respond, unsure what to say, and still angry that Dan had taken out his anger on him. 

He knew they’d both been stressed to the max lately. It wasn’t like Dan was the only one giving his all to this project.

The bed dipped, and a familiar set of arms wrapped around Phil’s waist. He didn’t pull away.

“I know you’ve been working hard. That wasn’t fair of me. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?” Dan asked.

“In exchange for cuddles,” Phil finally responded, and smiled gently when he heard Dan cough a laugh into his neck.

“Fair enough,” Dan replied, and tightened his arms around Phil. “Fair enough.”

Chapter Text

Phil doesn’t know why he’s never told Dan. Dan’s been Phil’s best-friend-kind-of-boyfriend for nearly 6 years now, and he really deserves to know, but Phil hasn’t told him.

Every time Phil’s tried, the words just wouldn’t cross his lips. And boy has he tried. Oh, how he’s tried. 

Every time Dan kisses him, he’s tried. Every time Dan drags him to bed, he’s tried . Every time Dan cuddles up to him at night, he’s tried. Every time Dan’s there for him, he’s tried .

But the words never come, and Phil hate’s himself for that.

Dan’s perfect for him, and Phil know’s Dan loves him. Phil know’s he loves Dan as well, but he still can’t say it.

After nearly 6 years, he still can’t say it.

Their relationship has been so ambiguous for so long that it’s easy to leave it like that. Their relationship has been so verbally onesided for so long, that some part of Phil thinks it’s fine. 

He knows he can get away with it.

He knows he doesn’t have to say it.

But he also knows that one day Dan will leave. One day Dan will get tired of the ambiguity, and he won’t be able to talk to Phil because Phil’s never allowed them to talk about their relationship further than in abstract ways. One day, Phil knows Dan will be gone.

And all because Phil can’t say it.

All because Phil can’t tell Dan he loves him.

Chapter Text

“Maybe you should let me drive, Phil,” Dan says, staring out at the road apprehensively as Phil slams on the brakes none too gently at the next light.

“Why? I’m a great driver!” Phil responds with a cheery grin, turning to look at Dan.

“Keep your eyes on the road!” Dan screams, and Phil startles, immediately turning back to face forward.

“Woah, calm down, Dan,” he says gently. “You’re safe with me, you know,” he assures him, and then presses roughly on the gas peddle the minute the light turns green again, throwing Dan back against his seat at the quick movement. 

“I hate you so much right now, Phil,” Dan says, reaching up in a panic to grip the handle on the top of the car in a furious grip. Phil glances at him in confusion, and Dan shouts at him again.

“Eyes on the road!” he screeches as he watches Phil zoom through a yellow light at top speed.

“Sorry, sorry!” Phil responds, a worried frown on his face.

Good, Dan thinks, squeezing his eyes shut as Phil goes to switch lanes and very nearly hits the truck next to them.

There’s a honk, but Phil ignores it, and Dan peels his eyes back open again, realizing having them closed is even more terrifying than having them open.

Phil slams on the breaks again as the light up ahead turns red, and Dan is thrown forward against his seatbelt.

He groans, and grips Phil’s arm in his hand roughly. 

“Next time, I’m driving,” he hisses between clenched teeth, and then releases Phil only to slap him on the arm. “PAY ATTENTION!” he shouts, the light having turned green.

“Okay,okay, calm down!” Phil responds as he steps on the gas, jerking Dan backward again. “I’ll let you drive next time,” he continues, but Dan just grits his teeth because he’s not even sure there’s going to be a next time.

Chapter Text

Dan sniffles into his jumper, curled up inside the overly large fabric looking for warmth, as he tries to hide his tears from the sympathetic man on the other end of their skype call. 

Of course Phil see’s them anyway.

“Bear,” he murmurs, reaching out his hand to, presumably, press it against his screen. “Don’t cry,” he says with a little chuckle. “You know I hate it when you cry.”

“I wouldn’t have to cry if you weren’t so far away,” Dan grumbles, hastily wiping his tears away with the sleeves of his jumper. 

Phil smiles sadly.

“I know, Bear.”

Curling up further into himself, Dan props his head on his knees, and frowns at his computer screen where Phil is sat in nothing but pajama bottoms and an old ratty t-shirt, propped up against his headboard. Dan wishes he was right there with him, cuddled into his side.

“I hate this,” Dan says, pouting.

“Me too,” Phil replies, shifting so his laptop is no longer at his feet, but on his stomach instead. His face is closer to the screen now, and Dan appreciates that. 

“And you know I’d be with you every second of the day if I could be,” he says. Dan shrugs, and tilts his head on his knees.

“Listen,” Phil suddenly burst out, a smile starting to form on his face. “What if I promised you that, one day, we’d live together?” he asks, and Dan frowns at him like he’s crazy.

“Hold on, just hear me out! What if I promised you that, one day, we’d never have to be apart. We could get a flat together, share the rent. Maybe we could even do YouTube together. We could have movie marathons every night, and share a bed, even, if you’d like that,” Phil says, smile growing at the plan.

“I’d like that,” Dan whispers back, tears starting to stream down his cheeks again.

“Ah, Bear! That was supposed to make you happy!” Phil complains, and Dan laughs, because it had.

It had made him happy.

“I am happy, you turnip. These are happy tears,” he says, sniffling and wiping them away. “That sounds amazing, Phil. I can’t wait.”

The clock flashes 1am at Dan’s face, but he doesn’t care as Phil continues to make plans with him, laughing at the more outlandish and silly ideas, but enjoying himself none the less.

Eventually, he unwraps his arms from around his legs, and joins in, gesticulating wildly, and making up fantasy worlds for him and Phil to live in. 

But just because those are fake, doesn’t mean the general essence of them aren’t real. 

Chapter Text

They don’t spend a lot of time outside, but on cool evenings in the middle of summer, they’ll take Dan’s car up to an empty campsite to the North of town, and lay sprawled in the grass, staring up at the stars. 

It happens most often when Dan’s stressed out, usually due to his family. They aren’t they happiest nuclear family, and they aren’t always the most understanding either - not like Phil’s family. When he came out, they didn’t bat an eyelash. But Dan tries not to be jealous, because in a way, Phil’s family is his family as well, and accepted him when his parents didn’t. 

Besides. He still has his best friend to go on late night adventures with him. To stare at the night sky when Dan’s having existential crisis’ or having a hard time accepting himself. 

Tonight is one of those nights. They’re sprawled out in the grass with their hands behind their heads, and their legs pressed lightly together. It makes Dan feel warm, and happy, and a little more content then he’d ever felt at home.

“I wish it were easier. That I could just call myself gay. Or straight. But I’m neither. I’m both. And it fucking sucks,” Dan says, breaking the silence. Besides him, he feels Phil shuffle closer. His arm presses against Dan’s lightly.

“You don’t have to label yourself,” Phil murmurs, and Dan know’s he’s right, but -

“But that’s what the world wants from me, Phil.”

“Screw the world.”

“My parents aren’t going to accept that as an answer, Phil.”

“Then screw your parents.”


“What does it matter what other people think of you, Dan?” Phil asks then, finally getting to the point Dan needs to hear. The point Dan always needs to hear. “You like men, and women, and that’s okay. The world is going to erase your existence sometimes, but it doesn’t matter. Because those people don’t matter.”

Dan sighs contently, and closes his eyes. 

“I know,” he says, because he does know. And Phil tells him this at least twice a month. “But it hurts.”

“I know,” Phil responds. “But your parents love you, you know. They still love you, even if they don’t understand.”

And that’s the crux of it. Phil know’s the only people Dan cares about is his parents, knows they’re the reason Dan has a difficult time accepting himself. But he also knows what to say to make it at least a little bit better.

“Don’t pretend for them, Dan.”

And for the first time, Dan decides to take Phil’s advice.

“Okay,” he says, and rolls over to kiss him.

Phil doesn’t resist, and Dan smiles into the kiss.