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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Animals Extended Universe
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Published:
2022-01-05
Completed:
2023-04-16
Words:
335,946
Chapters:
120/120
Comments:
416
Kudos:
156
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Animals

Summary:

Following wildly different Irish American siblings Ronnie and Beth McKittrick from 1965-1979 as they deal with love, sex, war, and life.

 

NOW COMPLETED --> JUST COMPLETED 23 CHAPTER SEQUEL SET IN THE 80S!

 

Volume I (Chapters 1-60)
Part I: Inner Suburbia (1965-1966) (✔)
Part II: End of a Childhood (1969) (✔)
Part III: War (1969-1970) (✔)
Part IV: Ambition and Reality (1971) (✔)
Part V: The New World (1972) (✔)
Part VI: Revelation (1973) (✔)

Volume II (Chapters 61-120)
Part I: The Old and New (1974) (✔)
Part II: Boys, Girls, Men, Women (1975) (✔)
Part III: New Beginnings (1976) (✔)
Part IV: Fantasy (1977) (✔)
Part V: Rabbits (1978) (✔)
Part VI: Love (1979) (✔)

Chapter 1: Home (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

An introduction to our currently teenage protagonist

Notes:

Hello!

Thanks for clicking lol! I know almost 336k is a lot, but this is three years and two months worth of work. As such, this does mean a lot to me. This is something I've been working on for quite a while—I've spent a long time working on this, and I'm pretty excited to have people read it! This has been my project for quite some time, and it does mean a lot to me. Please enjoy <33

 

All potential triggers and context will be detailed in endnotes if need be, but beware, we do get into a lot of shit. :)

CW: Referenced child abuse, underage smoking/drinking

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Volume I

August 6th, 1965 - November 23rd, 1973

 

 

Part I: Inner Suburbia

August 6th, 1965 - June 3rd, 1966

 

 

Chapter 1: Home

 

Friday, August 6th, 1965, Ridge's Creek, Nebraska

 

 

“Is that hard?” Jennifer asked as she intently watched her boyfriend carve a J on the large oak tree. 

“If you don’t stop talking and break my concentration, it will be,” he replied in an annoyed tone. 

“Sorry.”

He stopped and stared at her. “I’m kidding, Jennifer. Also, I’ve finished,” he said, full of pride. 

Jennifer took a step back to admire his work. The letters JMP and RPM were on the tree next to other older couples’ initials who were probably broken up by now. The letters were a pale color, as they were new, and time had not passed to darken the now exposed wood. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. 

“I love it, Ronnie,” she said, taking his hand into hers. 

Ronnie’s dark blue eyes twinkled as he faced her. “And I love you,” he whispered as he leaned towards her to kiss her lips. 

Jennifer smiled as his lips met hers. She wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. It was a soft, gentle kiss, just full of adoration. She closed her eyes as he slowly brought his hands toward her hips. When she opened her eyes again, the first thing she saw was Ronnie’s eyes, and she laughed. He let go of her and raised a brow. 

“Why are you laughing?” He asked playfully. 

Jennifer just grabbed his hand and led him away from the tree and down the hill that it proudly stood on. When they got to the grass-trampled path, she stopped and faced him. 

“No reason,” she said before turning towards the path and taking off running. 

Ronnie laughed and went after her. Ronnie was a fast runner and quickly outran her. He kept running until he came to the main road and stopped to catch a breath. He turned around to see where Jennifer was, but all he could see was a small blob he assumed was Jennifer. When she caught up with him, she was out of breath and shaky. 

“Are you okay?” Ronnie asked, looking concerned. 

Jennifer just huffed and muttered something Ronnie couldn’t understand. 

He looked up and down the road. One way was their town, Ridge's Creek, and the other was the way to Jennifer’s family’s farm. This is where they would separate and go home. Ronnie hated going home, but it was almost 6, and he said to his mother that he’d be home by 6:30. School started in four weeks, and his mother insisted on making curfew shorter to ensure Ronnie wouldn’t do what he did last year, in which he slept through his alarm and the whole day. Nothing better than missing your first day of high school. He started wondering about ways he could sneak out, but Jennifer poked his arm and interrupted his thoughts.

“McKittrick, see you tomorrow,” she said, kissing his cheek. 

Ronnie smiled and hugged her. “Actually, I’m hanging with Laurie tomorrow. Sunday after I’m done being forced to go to church?” 

Jennifer smiled and nodded. “Bye,” she called out as she walked away from Ronnie. 

Ronnie watched her walk away until she was just a speck, and he couldn’t see her anymore. He sighed, turned, and walked the opposite way. It was about a 20 minute walk, 10 to 15 if he ran, but Ronnie was tired, so he decided to walk. He shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans and wondered about what Jennifer was doing, and if she was thinking about him.

They had been dating for a year, but Ronnie had crushed on her way longer. He liked her pretty long black hair and dark hazel eyes, but it was just something about her that drove him crazy. He closed his eyes and opened them, so as to shake out his thoughts, and continued on his way home. 

Ronnie thought about the amazing qualities of his town as he walked home. Ridge’s Creek was a small town in Nebraska, and where Ronnie had lived since he was three. It had a population of about 3,000 people, and Ronnie thought it was a shit hole. 

The most interesting thing about it was it had the only Vietnamese restaurant in a 100 miles radius and used to be a part of the Omaha and Winnebago reservations, and, if anything, that just made it worse. He turned onto the street his neighborhood was on and stopped to tie his shoes. 

He lived on the outskirts of the town, where the houses were a bit cheaper. He liked his house, but going home was never fun, as his father hated him and blamed him for everything. He never talked about it, and his mother didn’t even suspect that Ronnie was abused, which either meant his father was a fantastic actor and should have considered a career in Hollywood, or she didn’t care. Probably the first one. 

When Ronnie got to his house, he pictured his mother cooking dinner and his younger sisters playing with their father, who also had no idea about the crap Ronnie went through either. He rubbed his cheek as he walked towards the door and opened it since the front door was unlocked when everyone was home. 

The smell of food filled Ronnie’s nose as he walked into the house. He inhaled the aroma and glanced at the clock on the wall. 6:29

Just in time, Ronnie thought as he walked to the kitchen to inquire what was for dinner. He found his mother chopping vegetables and putting them into a pot on the stove. 

Mary McKittrick was a small woman with blonde hair and the same dark blue eyes as her son. She had an Irish accent, and although some of it had disappeared over time, it became thick whenever she was mad or excited. She noticed her son looking at her and set her knife down. She wiped her hands on her apron and walked to Ronnie. 

“Hello, mo grá,” she greeted, hugging him tightly and standing on her toes to kiss him on his cheek. “You’re getting taller every day, I swear,” she then said as she walked back towards the kitchen to continue making dinner. 

Ronnie smiled at his mother and crossed his arms. “What’s for dinner?” He asked. 

“Baked chicken with mashed potatoes and boiled broccoli,” she replied, looking at the pot full of hot water and broccoli. She then looked up at Ronnie and said, “Go outside and tell your father and sister that dinner will be ready in a wee bit, and they should wash up.”

“Yes, Mom” Ronnie replied as he left the room and made his way to the backdoor. 

The backdoor was next to the living room and stairs and had a screen that was closed at the moment, but the actual door was open, so Ronnie could see outside. His father was playing with Beth, his 12 year old sister. Beth was on the tire swing, and their dad was pushing her. Ronnie could hear her laughter, and his heart twinged with jealousy. 

He opened the door and walked toward the happy duo. 

“Mom said dinner in 10 minutes, and you guys should wash up,” he said when he reached the tree the tire swing was on. 

“Awwwww,” Beth groaned, clearly disappointed to stop the swinging. 

Their father sighed and stopped the swing. “You heard him kiddo, food’s almost ready,” he said, scratching his beard.

Beth jumped off and ran to the house, leaving Ronnie alone with their father. 

Ronald Patrick McKittrick Sr. was not only Ronnie’s least favorite person on the planet, but he was also his namesake. They even looked the same. They both had black hair and were tall. The only difference was that Ronnie had his mother’s eyes, not his father’s dark brown eyes. Beth had gotten those. He also had an Irish accent like his wife, but he had spent more time in America and made an effort to speak with little or no accent. As soon as Beth was gone, Ronald’s happy and warm expression changed to something cold and sober. 

“How was spending time with that whore of a girlfriend?” He asked, obviously trying to get on his son’s nerves. 

Ronnie glared at him. “How’s your mistress?” 

Ronald grabbed Ronnie by the ear and said in a warning tone, “Watch it, son.” 

He let Ronnie go and walked off to the house. Ronnie smirked and rubbed his ear. His ear hurt, but he thought it was funny to get a reaction whenever he mentioned the fact he knew that his father was cheating.

He watched his father stomp towards the house, and after he entered, Ronnie followed. The smell of baked chicken was even stronger as Ronnie entered the house. From where he stood, Ronnie could see his mother setting the food down on the table. Shannon, his youngest sister, was seated in her highchair already eating her food. His stomach growled, so he walked to the table and sat down as Mary placed a plate full of food in front of him. 

“Thanks, Mom.” 

Mary smiled. “You’re welcome.” 

Ronnie heard thudding, so he turned around to see Beth running down the stairs, her platinum blonde hair bouncing across her shoulders. She ran off the stairs to her chair and promptly sat down. Ronnie realized that she was sitting next to him, and he groaned. Beth was too immature for a girl her age, probably due to the fact their parents adored and spoiled her way too often. She was obviously the favorite child. Ronnie looked at the other 2 empty chairs sitting across from him. Why did she sit next to him?

Beth turned to face Ronnie and started talking.

“Did you know that President Johnson ordered the increase of troops to 125,000 people a couple of days ago?” 

Ronnie glared at her. “I listen to the radio and watch tv too, ya know,” he replied mockingly. 

Beth frowned. “I think the war is really dumb. Carrie said her brother Curtis got drafted, and they’re trying to sneak him into Canada, so he won’t go to war.” 

Ronnie stared at his sister. Was she dumb? 

Grá, I wouldn’t go announcing that if I were you,” Mary lectured, sitting at the head of the table, next to Ronnie. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Mary smiled at her daughter and pulled her blonde hair back away from her food. Ronald entered the room holding a bottle of beer and a half-smoked cigarette. 

Mary frowned. “You know I don’t like it when you smoke,” she said in a chiding manner. 

He sighed and put the cigarette out on his worn jeans. He then sat down at the opposite head of the table and set his beer bottle next to his plate. Ronald looked at Beth. 

“Would you like to say grace?”

Beth nodded eagerly and made the sign of the cross with her parents, along with a half-hearted one from Ronnie. 

“Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.” 

They made a second sign of the cross before digging into their food. 

Ronnie didn’t want to be at the table for too long, so he tried to eat as fast as he could without choking. 

“Someone likes the food,” Mary remarked as Ronnie set his fork down on his empty plate. “Do you want more?” She asked, pointing at the mashed potatoes at the center of the table. 

Ronnie shook his head and swallowed the last bit of food in his mouth. “No, thank you. Can I be excused, please?” He asked in the politest voice he could muster. 

Mary nodded and waved her arm towards the stairs. Ronnie grinned and sat up, put his plate in the sink, and went upstairs. He could briefly hear his mother saying how good of a young man he was. 

The 2nd floor of the house consisted of a small hallway and three rooms. His room, Beth’s room, and Shannon’s room, which also was used as a guest room. There was a Jack and Jill bathroom between Beth’s room and Shannon’s room, but Ronnie didn’t like to use that one, so he used the bathroom downstairs by the entrance of the house. 

Ronnie opened his door and closed it carefully since the door slammed so easily. He yanked off his sneakers and flopped himself on his bed. His room was smaller than Beth’s and Shannon’s room, but he didn’t mind. He preferred privacy and quiet. His desk was next to his bed, and across his desk was a tall dresser drawer, and to the right of the drawer was his closest. His room was decorated with a few trophies from football, a picture of him and Laurie, his best friend, a picture of him and Jennifer, and a few pictures of football players, bands, and cars. Basically any teenage boy’s room in America.

The upcoming school year was currently on his mind. He would be entering his sophomore year of high school, and Jennifer would be a freshman as she was a year younger than him. Ronnie liked school. 7 hours of messing around with people you’ll probably never see again after you graduate and away from personal problems. You could be a totally different person, and people would never know the truth, a fact Ronnie used often. He knew most people saw him as a cocky and flashy kid who managed to get on the varsity football team freshman year, but Ronnie didn’t care. As long as his home life didn’t get in the way, he could be the most popular kid in school. 

Ronnie glanced at the alarm clock on his desk. 7:12. He stood up and opened his desk drawer. A pack of cigarettes and a lighter next to a half-empty bottle of Irish whiskey he stole from the liquor cabinet. He had no idea how either of his parents hadn’t noticed that it was gone as he knew that it was his mother’s favorite and cost $50, so they must be blind. Ronnie opened the pack and put one in his mouth. He opened the lighter and managed to get the flame after one try. He put the lighter to his mouth and lit it up. 

He inhaled the smoke and breathed out slowly. He tossed the lighter on his bed and went to open his window to air out the room from the smell, so his mother wouldn’t notice. Then he sat on the desk chair and took the cigarette out of his mouth. Ronnie started smoking when he was 12, after stealing some from his father’s stash. Now he usually bought some from the gas station in town and gave the cashier a few extra coins so he wouldn’t snitch. 

Ronnie looked at the opened window and wondered if he could get away with sneaking out, though there was nothing really fun to do unless someone was throwing a party, which Ronnie did not know of any people throwing parties at the moment. He was bored, however, and wondered what he could do sneaking out. 

He put out his cigarette and threw the stub out the open window, and then closed it. He went over to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt, plaid pajama bottoms, and underwear before leaving his room to shower downstairs. Ronnie could hear his parents talking as he walked down the stairs and to the bathroom. He opened the door and closed it quietly. He then threw his clean clothes on the toilet seat, took off his shirt, and turned on the showerhead. 

Ronnie sighed as he stepped into the bathtub and let the hot water spray all over his body. He reached for the shampoo and began to scrub his hair with it. He closed his eyes and let the soapy water cover his face. 

 

***

 

A freshly cleaned Ronnie threw himself on his bed and looked over at his alarm clock. 8:30. In a few seconds, Ronnie’s mother would come in and tell him to go to bed and prepare for school. Ronnie stared at his door and waited for her to come in. 

Mary opened the door and walked into her son’s room holding Shannon, who was already asleep. Ronnie chuckled as she always came at that time. 

“I know tomorrow’s a Saturday, but you really need to start getting ready for school and not going to bed at 1 in the morning,” she reminded, sitting next to her son. 

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, yeah, good night, Mom.” 

Mary smiled sadly and stood up. “Good night, dear,” she said as she left the room and closed the door. 

Ronnie sat up and walked to his window sill. He knew his mother went to bed early on Friday nights, and his father would leave to go see the woman he’s been fucking. Ronnie only knew that she existed, but he didn’t know who she was and what she did. He was shocked that his mother didn’t know about the affair, but he also knew that his mom often ignores the truth because she’ll think it’ll go away if she does. 

40 minutes passed before Ronnie saw his father leave the house. He watched him leave the house and start his car, thinking no one in the house would notice. Ronnie found it funny and sad how easily his father got away with things. He could have blown up a house and managed to have the evidence pointed at someone he didn’t even know. 

Ronnie looked away from the window and went back to his bed. Might as well get some sleep, he thought as he climbed under the covers and laid his head on his pillow. 

He stared at the ceiling and thought about Curtis, Beth’s friend’s brother out of all people. He would be apparently running off to Canada to avoid military service. Ronnie thought it was kind of a pussy move, and Curtis must be a coward. If the war is still going the way it’s going right now, Ronnie wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up in the army in 4 or 5 years. 

But he didn’t need to worry about that right now. Right now, he should be worried about what Laurie wanted to do tomorrow because he never said on the phone when he called him this morning. Ronnie yawned and stretched his arms. He closed his eyes and shortly after, fell asleep. 

Notes:

thanks y'all :)

please leave a comment! I always reply!

For Context

Vietnam War: In a nutshell, another Cold War-era war where commies bad, capitalist good, and we fuck up third world countries. Wiki gives a good overview if interested for more info

President Johnson: current president of the US in 1965 was Lyndon B. Johnson

Omaha Tribe and Winnebago Tribe: Indigenous Tribes native to the Nebraskan Great Plains.

Mo Grá: Irish for 'my love'

Chapter 2: Laurence "Laurie" Alders (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

In which Ronnie hangs out with his best friend, Laurie, and they talk about some deep shit as fifteen year old teenage boys do

Notes:

CW: underage drinking/smoking

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Laurence "Laurie" Alders

 

 

Ronnie woke up to his sister shaking him. 

“Get up, Ronnie, get up,” she said, shaking him harder. 

“Why?’ He replied, closing his eyes tighter. 

Beth groaned, annoyed, and pulled on his arm until he moved slightly. “It’s 11:30, stupid.” 

Ronnie’s eyes opened immediately, and he jumped out of bed, almost knocking Beth over. “Fuck! I said I’d be at Laurie’s at 11:30,” he muttered frantically, grabbing jeans and a shirt from the dresser and closet. 

Beth gasped. “That’s a horrible word. Daddy says that you should never say it.” 

Ronnie laughed. “Really? I thought it was his favorite word.” 

Beth gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean?” 

Ronnie shook his head and said, “Nevermind, now get out so I can change.” 

Beth walked out of his room and closed the door. 

Ronnie got dressed as fast as he could and ran down the stairs shoving on his socks. Mary noticed the commotion and raised a brow. 

“Someone’s in a rush,” she observed, watching him grab his sneakers and put them on his feet. 

“I’m late for Laurie,” Ronnie replied, tying his shoelaces. 

Mary laughed and grabbed a few dollars from her wallet. “Here,” she said, handing it to him. “Buy some lunch for yourself and bring home some flour. I’m making apple pie tonight. And be back by 5.” 

Ronnie nodded as he opened the door and ran out. “Bye!” 

Ronnie hurried to his bike, stuffed the money in his pocket, got on the bike, and peddled as fast as he could. Laurie didn’t live too far away and on a bike, Ronnie could get to his house in 5-10 minutes. Ronnie focused all his energy on getting to Laurie’s, though he should probably have thought about what Laurie was gonna say. He turned on the street where Laurie lived, and he could see a figure standing outside of Laurie’s house. Ronnie gulped. He slowed down and came to a stop in front of Laurie’s house and inevitably, Laurie. 

He got off his bike, leaving it on the side of the road, and ran to Laurie, who was staring at him. Ronnie panted and took a minute to catch his breath before he started talking. 

“Sorry, I woke up like 15 minutes ago,” Ronnie spoke, combing his hands through his hair. 

Laurie scowled. “I said 11-fucking-30 Ronnie, not wake up at 11:30 and take your sweet time getting here,” he growled, making hand motions as he talked. 

“Sorry, dude,” Ronnie replied, pulling out one of the dollars his mom gave him.  “Wanna dollar?” He asked, waving it in Laurie’s face. 

Laurie grinned and snatched the dollar from him, putting it in his own pocket. “You are forgiven, my friend. Now let’s go inside, and I’ll tell you what we’re doing today. 

Ronnie smirked and followed Laurie to his door. 

Laurie’s house was smaller than Ronnie’s and only had one floor, but Ronnie loved going to his house. His mom, Barbara, made delicious chocolate chip cookies, and always gave Ronnie some whenever she made them while he was over. Ronnie followed Laurie to the living room, where he motioned Ronnie to sit on the sofa. Ronnie sat, and Laurie stood right in front of him, clearly about to talk. 

Laurence Alders had been Ronnie’s best friend for as long as Ronnie could remember. He was tall for his age, but Ronnie had always been taller. Laurie had tanned skin from being outside all the time, bright narrow green eyes, and chestnut brown hair that was cut short. Although Ronnie had never met Laurie’s dad, he thought he looked like him from seeing pictures that Mrs. Alders would show him occasionally. He was named after Laurie from Little Women, his mother’s favorite book.

“School starts in exactly 16 days, Ronnie, and that means football tryouts are also in 16 days. Last year you got fucking lucky and got put on the varsity, and I was alone on the shitty junior varsity team.” 

Ronnie raised a brow. “Surely it wasn’t that bad,” he said, leaning back into the couch. 

“Wrong, McKittrick. It was terrible. No one goes to your games, the team’s full of shitty players, and all the decent players are stuck with literal losers. And the cheerleading team isn’t even there.”

Ronnie laughed at the cheerleading comment and spoke, “You only want to have the cheerleaders there so you can look at their legs and win back Imogene Price with your nonexistent muscles.” 

Laurie looked offended. “They are real, don’t be jealous,” he grumbled, plopping next to Ronnie. “And yes, I do want to win back Imogene.” 

Imogene was Laurie’s off and on cheerleader girlfriend since 8th grade. Ronnie personally hated her, as she had no personality traits, and was annoying. He had no idea why Laurie kept getting back together with her.

“How many times have you guys broken up?” Ronnie asked, trying to get on Laurie’s nerves. 

Laurie didn’t reply, but he held up the number 5 with his fingers. 

Ronnie snorted. “Who knows, maybe the 6th time really is the charm.” 

Laurie glared at him. “Fuck off, Ronald,” he said, using Ronnie’s full name to return the getting on the nerves. 

Ronnie raised his middle finger in reply and stood up. 

“Let’s practice football then,” he suggested, putting his hand out to pull Laurie up. Laurie grabbed his arm, and Ronnie pulled him up. Laurie ran to his room to grab his football and left Ronnie alone. Laurie’s mom, Barbara walked into the room and saw him.

“Hi, sweetie,” she said, coming over to hug him. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Alders,” Ronnie greeted as he got the life choked out of him. 

Barbara let him go and shook her head. “I’ve told you to call me Barbara. Mrs. Alders makes me feel old,” she said, smiling. 

Barbara was young, as she was only 17 when she had Laurie. Mr. Alders had died in the Korean War, and she never bothered remarrying. Ronnie liked her because she was super laid back and let Laurie do things his parents would never let him do. 

Laurie came out of his room holding his football in one arm, and a backpack in the other.

 “Shall we?” He said, gesturing to the front door. 

Ronnie nodded, waved bye at Barbara, and walked out with Laurie. 

“Be home by 9!” Barbara yelled out as both of them went outside. 

“Okay, Ma,” Laurie replied before shoving his ball into his backpack and zipping it up. 

Ronnie got on his bike and waited for Laurie to put the backpack on and get on his bike. Laurie zipped out of the driveway and stopped where Ronnie was sitting. 

“Field across the Martinson’s farm?” Laurie asked. 

Ronnie gave him a thumbs-up and began to bike away from Laurie’s house, with Laurie riding behind him.  

After biking for 20 minutes to the outskirts of town, both of them arrived at the field. It was a plain grassy field that used to be used for cattle. Many boys came there to play games, or in Laurie and Ronnie’s case, practice football. 

Laurie jumped off his bike and parked it on the side of the road, while Ronnie just let it drop to the ground. As the bike hit the ground and made a clunking sound, Laurie looked at it and scoffed. 

“I have no idea why you treat your bike so shitty.” 

Ronnie just shrugged. “Me neither.” 

They hopped the barbed wire fence and ran into the yellow field. Laurie dropped his backpack and pulled out the football. 

“Do you wanna work on catching and throwing or plays?” Laurie asked, tossing the ball in the air and catching it multiple times.

“Throwing and catching,” Ronnie replied, before taking 7 huge steps back. “Throw the ball, dumbass.” 

Laurie scoffed and threw the ball in a spiral motion toward his friend. Ronnie realized he was too close and ran back to catch the ball. 

Ronnie was tall for his age, so it wasn’t so hard to catch the ball in the air. He took a step forward before throwing it toward Laurie. They went back and forth with the ball several times before Laurie dropped the ball on the grass and sat down. Ronnie gave him a strange look before trotting over and sitting next to him.

“What?” Ronnie asked. 

Laurie just shrugged. “Summer’s been pretty crappy in all honesty, and the fact you and that Jennifer girl are dating just made it worse.” 

Ronnie pursed his lips. “Not my fault Imogene broke up with you again,” he replied, leaning back into the grass. 

“I know that, Stupid, it’s just it’s been an uneventful summer, and I don’t think Imogene could change my mind anyway. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually excited for school to start again,” Laurie rambled. 

Ronnie was also looking forward to the school year starting, but his reasons were far different. “Don’t worry man, times come and go, who knows? Maybe this coming school year will be the worst one yet.” 

Laurie chuckled and lay next to Ronnie. He was looking at the sky, watching the clouds move and change shape. Laurie knew Ronnie enjoyed sky gazing, even after he constantly refused to admit it. 

After a few minutes, Laurie turned to face Ronnie. “Do you love Jennifer?”

Ronnie looked at his friend. “Honestly I don’t know,” he replied after being silent for a minute. Ronnie then sat up and spoke more. “I mean I’ve never dated anyone other than her, so I don’t really know what being in love is supposed to even feel like.” 

Laurie sighed. “Well, maybe you do, you just don’t recognize it yet. Have you told her yet?” 

Ronnie nodded. “I feel like I act fake in front of her sometimes. Like I’m a different person around her. I act bubbly around her, I feel bad since I’m the exact opposite of that,” Ronnie spoke after pausing for a minute. 

Laurie pursed his lips and stared at his friend. “After hearing this, I can’t decide who’s a worse boyfriend, me or you?” 

Ronnie groaned. “Shut up, Alders.” 

He then stood up and picked up the football. 

“Let’s just play ball,” he said, holding out his arm to his friend. 

Laurie grabbed his arm, and Ronnie pulled him up. Laurie scratched the back of his head. 

“Wanna get lunch instead?” 

Ronnie nodded and started walking to the bikes. Laurie followed him. 

“Where do you want to go?” Laurie asked when the pair arrived at their bikes. 

Ronnie picked up his bike and hopped on it. 

“Kimberly’s?” Ronnie asked. 

Laurie got his bike and replied. “Yes, sir.” 

Ronnie smirked and the two started biking toward town. 

Kimberly’s was a cute little diner right on Main Street. It opened back in the 50s, and still very much had a 50s vibe. Ronnie liked going there because they had good burgers and the cooks were always friendly to Ronnie’s family.

Laurie and Ronnie parked their bikes on the sidewalk next to the diner and walked to the entrance. The glass door with red and white paint greeted them as they opened it and entered the restaurant. It was quiet for a Saturday afternoon, with only about twelve people sitting. Ronnie recognized one of the couples eating but didn’t acknowledge them. He and Laurie sat down at one of the booths and waited for someone to come over. 

Pamela, Jennifer’s older sister, and the waitress on duty noticed them and walked over. She looked like her younger sister, with the same copper skin and long black hair. She was wearing a red and white waitress uniform and carried a notepad, a pen, and some menus. She stared at the boys and started talking.

“You guys want a menu?” She asked, holding one in the air. 

They both nodded and she handed them each one. She then grabbed her notepad and pen from her pocket. 

“Drinks?” 

Ronnie nodded and said, “Can I have a Coke?” 

“Yeah, me too,” Laurie chimed as soon as she finished writing down the order. 

She smiled politely and walked away.

“Pam’s hot,” Laurie muttered as soon as she was out of earshot. 

Ronnie rolled his eyes and replied, “I’m dating her sister, ya know.” 

Laurie laughed. “And they look alike, hence the real reason why you’re dating her.” 

Ronnie rolled his eyes again. “Shut up.” 

Pamela came back with two cokes and set them in front of them. “You ready to order?” 

Ronnie looked at Laurie, who was still looking at the menu. He set it down and gave her a thumbs up. 

“Yessiree. Can I have a bacon cheeseburger?”  

Pamela nodded as she wrote down his order. “And what does my sister’s boyfriend want?” 

Ronnie's face turned pink, which earned a chuckle from both Pamela and Laurie. “Same thing,” he spoke, glaring at his friend for laughing. 

Pamela nodded and walked away. 

“I hate you,” Ronnie said, staring at Laurie. 

Laurie just grinned and winked at him. Ronnie scoffed and leaned back into the booth. 

“Other than football, are you looking forward to anything else this school year?” Ronnie asked, closing his eyes and putting his hand behind his head. 

Laurie shrugged. “I’m not taking drama this year, so I don’t have to put up with Mrs. Townsend and her antics again.” 

Ronnie opened an eye. “How the hell did you get out of doing a fine arts class?” 

Laurie ruffled his hair and replied. “I didn’t. I’m now taking the wonderful class of art.” 

Ronnie laughed and leaned toward his friend. “You’re gonna fail, you can’t draw to save your life, and you’ll be stuck with freshmen.” 

Laurie sighed. “I know, but I’d rather be with a bunch of stuck up freshmen than take Mrs. Townsend’s class again.” 

Ronnie shook his head and smirked. “I question your way of thinking a lot.” 

Pamela came out with the food about 20 minutes after they ordered. “Here’s the burgers and fries,” she said as she put the hot plates in front of the boys. 

They both thanked her and dug into their food. 

Ronnie loved cheeseburgers. They were probably his favorite food and had been almost all of his life. He ate his food slowly, enjoying every single bite of it. Eventually, it got to the point where Laurie was just sitting there watching his friend eat, annoyed. 

“Can you eat any faster?” He asked his friend with an extremely annoyed tone and expression. 

Ronnie shrugged with a mouth full of food. Laurie scoffed and pulled 2 dollars out of his pocket to pay for his food. 

“If you don’t finish your food in the next 5 minutes, I’m walking out with or without you.” 

Ronnie raised his hands and swallowed his food. 

“I’m full anyway,” he said, standing up and grabbing two bucks out of his pocket to pay for his food. 

Pamela saw them leaving and walked over to clear their plates.

“The rest of the change is the tip,” Ronnie muttered to her before handing over his plate. 

She nodded and left. Laurie stood up, walked to the entrance door, and opened it. Ronnie walked out with Laurie right behind him. They got to their bikes and kicked up their stoppers. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Laurie asked, putting back on his backpack. 

Ronnie remembered his mom asking about the flour and hopped on his bike. 

“I gotta go to the store and buy some stuff for Mom. We can also get other stuff too,” he said, swinging his leg on his bike and sitting on the bike seat. 

“Lead the way, McKittrick.” 

The Walgreens was 2 blocks away, and a 5-minute bike ride. It was the only chain store in Ridge's Creek, and Mary worked there part-time during the weekdays. 

They parked their bikes outside the pharmacy and entered. Laurie wandered around the store’s halls before finding the magazine section and he began to look at them. Ronnie, who was holding a bag of flour, stood behind him. 

“What are you looking for?” 

Laurie turned around briefly and pointed to the Playboy magazine with some hot broad on the cover. 

Ronnie laughed and rolled his eyes. Laurie grabbed the magazine and pulled out 40 cents to pay for it. 

“I’ll meet you outside,” he said before heading toward the cashier. 

Ronnie glanced at some pictures of Jean Shrimpton for a minute and then went to the cashier. 

Ronnie knew the cashier on duty, so it wasn’t hard to get cigarettes. He threw in an extra 10 cents while playing for the flour and the box of Marlboro, so the guy wouldn’t say anything to his mother and walked out. 

Laurie was sitting on his bike waiting for his friend. He saw Ronnie come out and ran his hand through his hair. 

“Wanna go swim?” 

Ronnie grinned and hopped on his bike. “I’d love to.” 

 

***

 

The water was a muddy brownish-blue color, but that was because of all the spring and summer rains. During the fall and early spring, it was a nice blue color. It was cold at first, but neither of the boys cared and jumped in as soon as they both stripped down to their underwear.

“I could stay here all day,” Laurie said, swimming towards Ronnie, who was in the center of the lake. 

It was about 15 feet deep at the center, so neither of them could reach the bottom. 

“Me too. You know what time it is?” Ronnie asked, splashing water on his face. 

Laurie shrugged and swam back to the shore, where his clothes and watch were. He got out of the water, trotted over to his piles of clothes, and picked up his watch. “It’s 4:30,” Laurie shouted. 

Ronnie gave him a thumbs up and swam over. “I gotta be home by 5,” Ronnie said, getting out of the water and plopping next to Laurie.

He cocked a brow. “Why is your curfew so early?” 

Ronnie shrugged. “My parents don’t like me? I don’t know man.” 

Laurie then stood up and put on his clothes over his wet body. 

“We’ve been in there for ‘bout 3 hours. We should get going. You gotta be home anyway.” 

Ronnie sighed and stood up. He walked over to his clothes and started putting them on.

Since Ronnie was soaking wet, his clothes stuck to his body and made his white t-shirt see-through. He and Laurie parted ways when they rode to a midway point between their houses. They said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways.

Ronnie wondered how his mother would react to his wet clothes. She freaked out whenever it rained and would ground Ronnie or Beth if they brought mud into the house. He gulped and took a deep breath as he entered his home. 

Everyone was sitting down on the couch watching the television. They heard the sound of his wet shoes hitting the wooden floor and turned to look at him. 

“Hi, Ronnie!” Shannon shouted as soon as she saw him.

Mary stood up immediately and went over to Ronnie. “Why are you all wet, young man?” she demanded, her accent poking through a bit. 

“I went swimming,” he replied, glancing at the wall. 

Ronald spoke sternly from the couch. “You know how we feel about dragging wet clothes in the house. You could've at least had a change of clothes or waited to dry before putting them back on.” 

Ronnie glared at him and spoke without breaking eye contact. “I have your flour, Mary, would you like to make your pie or yell at me because I came home in a wet shirt and jeans?” 

Mary smacked Ronnie’s head. “Go to your room. No dinner. No dessert. And you’re staying home all next week helping me around the house.” 

Ronnie rubbed the back of his head as he went upstairs to his room. Beth watched in bewilderment as he hiked up the last few steps. 

Ronnie slammed the door and muttered several swear words, as he changed his clothes. He could vaguely hear his father yelling about slamming doors. He then pulled the cigarettes from his pocket and tossed them into the drawer. He sat in his bed and began to sulk, but remembered that he was supposed to hang out with Jennifer tomorrow. He stood back up and walked back down the stairs. 

“What?” Ronald said, annoyed as soon as he saw his son. 

“I was supposed to hang out with Jennifer tomorrow, but I assume I can’t now. Can I call her and tell her?” 

Ronnie knew his father was gonna say no, but his mother heard him and said you have 5 minutes. Ronnie quickly rang her number up, but her mother answered. 

“Excuse ma’am, but may I speak with Jennifer?” 

Mrs. Parker sighed and called over her daughter. 

“Yes?” Jennifer questioned with a tone of curiosity. 

“It’s Ronnie. I uh got grounded, so we can’t hang out tomorrow, or anytime next week. I’m sorry.” 

Jennifer scoffed into the phone. “You’re such an idiot, I’ll call you then next Saturday.” 

She then hung up the phone without a second word. 

Ronnie put the phone down and dragged his way upstairs. After sulking and in his bed for a while, Ronnie decided to get on the roof, since the roofing by his window was pretty flat, and he often went out there to think. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey, a lighter, and a cigarette. He put his head through first and climbed out of his room. 

Ronnie sat down and lit his cigarette. After taking a few puffs, he put it out and threw the stub off the rooftop. He took a sip of the whiskey and stared at the blazing sun. It wouldn’t go down for at least another 2 hours, so Ronnie had plenty of time to soak it in. 

Ronnie wondered what his life would be like if he was Laurie. Would he have a curfew, a shit hole of a dad, or a sense of dread whenever coming home? Ronnie would never admit it, but he was always jealous of Laurie. Even as an adult, the feeling of envy never fully went away. 

Notes:

For Context

Jean Shrimpton: 60s supermodel (who sadly did not look like a shrimp)

 

Leave a comment! Or if you're feeling really nice, a kudos :)

Chapter 3: End of Summer Days (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie starts his sophomore year and soon realizes something about his teacher. Oh yeah, he also finally meets his girlfriend's parents

Notes:

CW: Child Abuse (Check endnotes)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: End of Summer Days 

 

Sunday, August 22nd, 1965



On the day before school started, Ronnie, Laurie, and Jennifer decided to go swimming in the lake. (This time Ronnie brought an extra change of clothes and a towel.) Jennifer wore a white swimsuit that radiated against her skin. Ronnie thought she looked gorgeous, but Laurie would splash water at him whenever he stared too long.

They were the only ones at the lake, which was surprising on a summer afternoon. Jennifer swam closer to shore, while Laurie and Ronnie swam in the deeper parts of the water, splashing each other and annoying themselves. 

Laurie got annoyed after a while because Ronnie wouldn’t leave Jennifer alone and kept Laurie out of their little conversations. Eventually, he had enough and got out of the water. 

“Where are you going?” Ronnie asked his friend as he watched him dry off. 

Laurie scoffed. “You two won’t leave each other alone, and no way in hell am I third wheeling you two.” 

Laurie shoved his towel in his backpack and zipped it closed. 

Jennifer noticed the commotion and swam next to Ronnie. “I’m sorry to see you go, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” She said, leaning her head on Ronnie’s shoulder. 

Laurie smiled and nodded. “Unfortunately, since school’s the next day.” 

He glanced at Ronnie for another moment before turning around and walking away. Ronnie’s eyes followed him until he went down the little hill, and couldn’t see him anymore. 

Ronnie turned his attention to Jennifer, who was still leaning on his shoulder. 

“Are you ready for high school?” He asked, wrapping his arm around her. 

Jennifer broke away from him and sighed. “I don’t know.” 

She then waded out of the water and sat on the bank. Ronnie followed her and sat down as well. 

Ronnie stared at her with a loving gaze until she noticed.

 “What?” She demanded, blushing slightly. 

Ronnie shrugged. “You’re pretty.” 

Jennifer grinned shyly and leaned toward Ronnie. Ronnie took this as a sign to make a move, so he leaned toward her and touched his lips to hers. 

Her lips were soft and wet from the water. Jennifer wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. Their tongues met, and Ronnie began to slide his hands lower and lower. Jennifer noticed and broke away from him. 

“What?” Ronnie asked. 

Jennifer crossed her arms and scooted away from Ronnie. Jennifer looked at Ronnie horrified but started speaking. 

“I like you a lot, but I don’t want to do that,” she said, her hands pulling at her hair, causing the water to trail down her body. 

“You don’t want to….?” Ronnie asked, alluding to the word. 

Jennifer looked at her boyfriend. “Ronnie, I’m 14, you’re 15. Do you really think we should be doing things like that?” 

Ronnie sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” 

Jennifer smiled. “I want to wait anyway.” 

Ronnie nodded and looked away. His face was a bit red from embarrassment, but he was also kind of a bit disappointed.

The mood was ruined for the rest of the afternoon, so it wasn’t long before Jennifer said she was going home. Ronnie hugged her before she left since he knew she probably felt awkward, and a kiss wouldn’t help. Ronnie hung at the lake a little bit longer, before going home as well. He changed into a pair of dry clothes, before biking home. 

Ronnie entered the house excepting his sister to be watching television, or at least his mother, but neither were there, and the house was silent. A brief memory of his mother talking during breakfast telling Ronald that she would take Beth and Shannon to buy school supplies after lunch slipped into his head. Ronnie sighed and plopped himself on the couch.

He was about to turn on the television when he heard a noise coming from his parent’s room. Curious, Ronnie stood and walked over to the room. The door was opened partially, but Ronnie couldn’t see anything. He peeked his head in and regretted it as soon as he did. His father was having sex with another woman. A much younger woman. 

He stood there horrified and in shock until the woman looked in his direction and saw him staring. She screamed, causing Ronald to look over and see his son. Ronnie turned around as fast as he could and ran up the stairs to his room. He closed the door and sank to the floor. He ran his hands through his hair and tried not to think about it, but his mother just popped into his head, which made it worse.

After 20 minutes or so, Ronnie looked out his window and saw the woman leaving. She had parked her car further down the road, to avoid suspicion from neighbors. Ronnie then heard feet stomping up the stairs. He jumped from the spot he was standing and waited for the door to open.

Ronald opened the door and marched to his son. He grabbed Ronnie by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into his face. Ronald smelled like alcohol and sweat, and the smell nearly made Ronnie gag. 

“Listen here, junior,” he spoke harshly. “If you breathe a word about this to your mother, I will fucking beat you.” 

He released Ronnie and left the room. Ronnie closed the door quietly and sat on his bed. What could he do? He knew that his father would beat him if he told his mother, but it was wrong. All he could do was sit and not speak. 

The first day of school was that morning. Ronnie woke up on time, which pleased his mother greatly, and left the house at 6:30 to catch the bus. Since Laurie lived only two blocks away, they rode the same bus. Ronnie’s stop was first, so he was always on the bus before Laurie. They sat in the middle of the bus and usually just talked about sports and girls. 

When they arrived, schedules were being passed out as they entered. Laurie got his before Ronnie, since his last name was Alders, while Ronnie had to wait until they got to M. They compared classes and discovered that they had homeroom, geometry, and English together. Laurie looked happy about his classes, but Ronnie was saddened to see that he had Mrs. Fueller for chemistry. 

“Again? Her? Biology last year was torture, and I have to deal with her again? Why does life hate me?” 

Laurie laughed and patted his friend’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, school ends in only 9 months.” 

Ronnie groaned. 

The day seemed pretty regular. The 10th grade this year was the largest, so they had their own lunchtime, instead of eating with freshmen. Ronnie was kinda bummed that he couldn’t eat with Jennifer, but he still had plenty of friends to talk to. English was his 6th period, and the one he went to after lunch, so everyone in the class was either really full or extremely hungry. 

Laurie and Ronnie walked to English together from lunch. English was Laurie’s least favorite subject, so he complained the entire walk from the cafeteria. Ronnie rolled his eyes as they entered the classroom and sat next to each other. The teacher wasn’t in the room yet, it was just a bunch of rowdy teenagers messing around. The door opened, and the class fell silent. A woman talked in, her heels clicking across the tile floor. Ronnie couldn’t get a good look at her face since Laurie’s head was blocking it. 

She wrote her name on the chalkboard and spoke, “My name is Miss Warren and I look forward to teaching all of you this upcoming school year.” 

She turned around, and Ronnie’s jaw dropped. He had seen her before. In his parents’ room fucking his father. It was the mistress.

She looked around her class smiling and saw Ronnie. Her smile flickered for a second, but within a blink, it was there again. She pulled out a roaster and started reading out names. 

“Theresa?” 

“Here.” 

“Laurence?” 

Laurie raised his hand. “I go by Laurie.” 

Miss Warren smiled politely and wrote a note on a separate sheet of paper. 

“Preston?” 

“Present.”

She continued to call names until she got to Ronnie’s. Her voice wavered as she read his name aloud. 

“Ronald?” 

Ronnie stared at her coldly. “It’s Ronnie.” 

She nodded and continued to call the rest of the class. Laurie leaned toward Ronnie and asked him a question. 

“How come she didn’t write that you go by a nickname as she did for me and Kathy?” 

Ronnie looked at him. “That’s because she won’t forget my name.” 

Laurie shrugged and muttered okay before moving back to his seat. The rest of the class was like any first day. They played icebreakers and Miss Warren told the class what they would be doing during the year. After what seemed like forever, the bell rang, ending the class. Everyone stood and rushed out of the class, but Ronnie stayed behind. Laurie gave him a puzzled look as he left, but Ronnie mouthed, “It’s fine,” to him. Laurie shrugged and left the classroom.

Miss Warren saw Ronnie waiting by her desk, and she went over after closing the door. She set down her glasses on the table and rubbed her eyes. 

“I suppose I can’t hide who I am to you, can I?” She said, sighing. 

“No, you can’t I suppose,” Ronnie replied mockingly. 

She slouched and grasped Ronnie’s wrist, surprising him. Her touch was ice cold. 

“I understand how you feel about me, I’m just a whore to you, but you cannot tell anyone or speak about it. I’ll lose my job and reputation.” 

Ronnie pulled his arm away from her and stared coldly. 

“That’s not my problem,” he muttered. 

He stared at her ID badge and studied it. Next to a black and white picture of her, her name was printed next to it. Linda Warren. So her name was Linda. 

How boring, Ronnie thought.

“Look, in my class, you’ll always have an A, no matter what. Every assignment, every test. An A,” Miss Warren said so pleadingly that Ronnie thought she would get on her knees. 

The bell rang, making Ronnie late for his next class. He glanced at the clock and back at her. She looked as if she was about to cry, and Ronnie didn’t need waterworks, even from that bitch. 

“Fine, deal. Just get me a pass for my next class.” 

Miss Warren stood up straight and scrambled for a pen and paper. She scribbled something down, along with her signature. She handed him the paper and muttered a quiet thank you.

“I’m not doing this for you, my mom doesn’t need this kind of shit right now. It would break her.” 

Ronnie left the class and walked away. He could feel tears swelling up, but he wouldn’t dare let them fall. He pulled out the schedule paper from his pocket and unfolded it. Glancing at the paper, he walked off to his next class. 

Football tryouts were after school, so Ronnie wouldn’t go home until at least after 6:30. Coach Worthing had been the resident head football coach for over 10 years. He had a short temper, and if one person annoyed him, the whole team was punished. Other than the fact he was probably borderline insane, Ronnie liked him. 

After he gave everyone the ten minute speech of this is football, how it’s not a sissies game, and whatever, he began the tryouts. The only sure spots on the team were the captain and co-captain, which were already filled by Ross Wayne and Connor Irwin, both seniors. They were in charge of overseeing the freshmen, while Worthing and the other coaches, Mathers and Smalls, oversaw everyone else. 

After what seemed 2 and half hours of torture, the 3 coaches and 2 captains went inside the coaches’ office to determine the results. You could leave now, but if you hung around for another 30 minutes to an hour, you could see the results the same day. Laurie and Ronnie waited by the bleachers for Coach Worthing to come out. After 45 minutes, Coach Worthing walked out with Ross and Connor. He taped the sheet of paper on the outside door and went back in. The boys trotted over the paper, eager to see if they had got in or not. Ronnie was taller than most of the boys crowding around the paper, so he could see the names from where he was standing.

He scanned the varsity list for his name and Laurie’s, and much to his excitement, he spotted both of their names. Next to their names was the position they’d play during the season. Laurie was a running back, and Ronnie got the position he had the year previous: Full back. He turned to Laurie with a big grin on his face. 

“Congratulations to the varsity running back.” 

Laurie’s eyes widened and he pushed through the group of boys to see for himself. 

Ronnie hitched a ride with Laurie afterward. He thanked Barbara for driving him home as he got out and waved as she and Laurie left. He picked up his backpack and football gear and walked towards the steps of his house. 

When he entered, his whole family was seated on the couch watching the television except Shannon, who Ronnie assumed was taking a nap. Mary noticed him and stood up to greet her son. 

“How was your first day of school and football tryouts?” She asked, hugging him. 

Ronnie smiled. “I made varsity again.” 

Mary grinned proudly and ruffled her son’s black hair. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Ronnie continued to smile until he made eye contact with his father, and thoughts of his new English teacher bounced around in his head. Ronald stared at him but didn’t say anything. Beth walked up to him and looked up to make eye contact. 

“What?” He asked. 

Beth replied. “You’re taller,” she spoke before sitting right back on the couch. 

Ronnie stared at her, confused. He often wondered what went on inside his sister’s head. 

It wasn’t until two weeks later that Linda told Ronald that Ronnie was in her class. She probably wouldn’t have said anything, but Ronnie couldn’t help himself. He spent one class sleeping and in another, he showed up 15 minutes late, talked back, and threw out the worksheet she gave him, all just to spite her. Laurie was in awe that Ronnie still hadn’t gotten detention or a reprimand. She couldn’t do anything, because she knew he’d snitch.

Ronnie didn’t have football practice on Tuesdays, so he rode the bus home. High school got out before middle school did, so he was home alone for the next hour or so. Or so he thought.

30 minutes had passed when Ronnie heard the front door slam open from the kitchen table where he was doing homework. He stood up from the table and saw his father walk through the door. Ronald made eye contact with his son and marched up to him. Ronnie took a step back.

“Heard from your English teacher you’ve been giving her a hard time,” he started, setting down his briefcase on the floor. 

“You mean I’ve been giving your mistress a hard time? Well yes, I have. What is she gonna do?” Ronnie retorted sarcastically. 

As the words slipped from his mouth, he looked at his father’s expression and realized he shouldn’t have said that. 

Ronald stepped closer to his son. “You watch your mouth, boy,” he threatened before slugging Ronnie straight in the eye. 

The blow took Ronnie by surprise, and he fell to the floor from the force of the punch. Ronald scoffed at his son and walked away from him. 

Ronnie held a hand to his right eye and felt it beginning to swell already. By the time his mother would get home, it would be swollen shut. He stood up and hobbled to the kitchen where he pulled out an ice pack and held it to his face. The cold burned at first, so Ronnie wrapped a towel over it and went to his room. He stared at the wooden floor and felt a tear slip out from his left eye. 

Mary almost started crying at the sight of his son’s swollen face. She came home late with his sisters and none of them expected to see Ronnie with an eye swollen shut. 

Beth just asked him questions about how it felt and if he could see or not, but Mary was more pressing about who did it. 

“Who gave you the black eye, sweetheart?” She asked, prodding her fingers around it. 

Ronald, who told her he came home like that, stood behind and watched. He had made it clear to Ronnie that he’d get more than a black eye if he snitched. 

Ronnie shrugged. “It was some senior, I was just being too cocky,” he said, putting the towel wrapped ice pack back on his face. 

Mary gave a disapproving face. “This is why you watch yourself, mo grá,” she said, standing up. She looked at her husband and sighed. “He’s getting to be more like you every day, I swear,” she stated before walking off. 

Both of them made a nauseated face at her comment. 

Everyone asked questions when Ronnie went to school the next day. By the 3rd period, there was a rumor going around that he picked a fight with some kid on the football team from Rupert J. Howard, the other high school in Ridge's Creek, and Ridge's Creek High School’s biggest rival. Ronnie went along with the rumor and told everyone that the guy was 6’3 and packed, but Ronnie kicked his ass. 

Jennifer did not believe that Ronnie got in a fight with some kid at Howard and pressed Ronnie for the truth. Ronnie kept going along with the story until he got annoyed with her pestering and admitted it wasn’t from a fight. 

“Well, aren’t you gonna tell me what happened?” Jennifer asked, with her hands on her hips, clearly demanding an answer. 

Ronnie shook his head no. “You can either believe the Howard story or pretend you believe it.” 

Jennifer rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You’re such an idiot sometimes.” 

Ronnie grinned sarcastically. “I aim to please you and you alone.” 

Something seemed to flash across Jennifer’s face and the fight completely left her head. 

“Oh! I forgot to tell you, but my parents want to have you over for dinner Friday night, and before you say that your parents won’t let you, my momma called yours, and she thought it was an excellent idea.” 

Ronnie shrugged. “Well, there goes my excuse.” 

Jennifer laughed and playfully punched his arm. “C’mon, we’ve been dating for a year and you’ve never met either of my parents.” 

Ronnie sighed and muttered, “Fine.” 

Mary seemed to be more excited about the dinner than Ronnie was. She forced Ronnie to put on a tie along with his button-up shirt and slacks.

“I look like I’m going to church,” Ronnie complained as Mary made him change into dress shoes instead of sneakers. 

“You should always want to make a good first impression, and dressing nice usually seals the deal.” 

Ronnie rolled his eyes. 

Mary drove him to Jennifer’s, and the entire time, she fussed over Ronnie. She kept making comments about how much of an adult he is now, and he’s not her little boy anymore and all the other sappy stuff. Ronnie had never been more glad to get out of the car when they arrived. 

“You want me to come with you and say hello?” She asked from the driver’s seat. 

“NO!” Ronnie rushed out suddenly. 

Mary looked offended and sighed. “Well okay fine, Mr. I’m-So-Grown-Up-Now.” 

Ronnie made an exasperated sigh. “No, thank you.” 

He smiled at his mother before turning around and heading towards the large farmhouse. 

Ronnie felt slightly nervous as he had heard that Mr. Parker didn’t really like anyone in town and kept to himself, his family, and some other members of his people. Ronnie thought he had an excuse since the majority of Ridge's Creek was white, and it was built over old Native American lands that once belonged to the Omaha, the tribe Jennifer and most of her extended family were from. Her farm was outside of the reservation, closer to Ridge's Creek, though Ronnie had met many of Jennifer's cousins who lived in Macy. He found it ironic that he had met her cousins before he had met her parents. 

Ronnie knocked on the front door and hoped Jennifer or Pamela would answer. To Ronnie’s luck, his girlfriend opened the door. Jennifer greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and let him inside the house. 

Jennifer’s house was way larger than Ronnie’s. It was also over 70 years old. Mr. Parker’s grandfather had built it in the 1890s. Ronnie stepped inside the house and looked around. Everything was a rich, brown color, unlike his house, which was covered with various wallpaper prints. 

“Like it?” Jennifer asked, looking at Ronnie's wandering eyes. 

Ronnie shrugged. “It’s big.” 

Jennifer laughed and grabbed Ronnie’s arm. She dragged him into the dining room where Ronnie could see Pamela and a woman that looked like an older version of Pamela and Jennifer, so Ronnie concluded that she was their mother. 

Ronnie went over to the woman and introduced himself. 

“I’m Ronnie McKittrick, it’s nice of you to invite me for dinner, Mrs. Parker.” 

Mrs. Parker grinned warmly and shook his hand. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ronnie,” she said, pulling Ronnie into a hug, which surprised Ronnie, but he went with it. 

Mrs. Parker let him go and left the room to finish setting up the table. 

Pamela and Jennifer both laughed at Ronnie’s uncomfortableness when their mother left. 

“When did you get manners?” Pamela asked in a sarcastic voice. 

Ronnie glared at her. “Shouldn’t you be at some party sucking off some white dude’s cock?” Ronnie retorted, making Jennifer snort and Pamela’s face turn red. 

“Shut up, one eye,” she said, before leaving the room to go help her mother.

“You’re so mean,” Jennifer said, shaking her head. 

Ronnie smirked. “It’s not bullying if it’s true, I’m merely stating facts.” 

Jennifer pursed her lips. “And I assume you have been to these parties?” 

Ronnie shook his head. “No, although I’d like to, I don’t want my parents beating my ass. I already got this black eye to worry about. 

Jennifer crossed her arms. “Are you ever gonna tell me how you really got it?” 

Ronnie flashed a smile. “Jennifer... You already know how I got it. Fighting a kid from Howard.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes and left the room to the kitchen, where Ronnie assumed she was going to help her mother and sister. 

It was awkward being alone in a house Ronnie didn’t know. He still hadn’t seen Mr. Parker and was scared that this would be their first interaction. Here. Alone. In the dining room. He wanted to smoke, but he knew that wouldn't be a good first impression, so he resisted the urge. Pamela reappeared from the kitchen holding a bowl of mashed potatoes and a large spoon to serve it with. She set down the bowl on the table and stared at Ronnie. 

“Are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna help?” She asked, crossing her arms and cocking her head. 

Ronnie held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, Jesus.” 

He followed her to the kitchen where the rest of the women were. Ronnie grabbed a bowl full of vegetables and set it down on the dining room table.

Mrs. Parker took note and immediately complimented Ronnie. 

“Oh you’re so sweet to help set the table, but you’re our guest, please, you don’t have to help.” 

Ronnie smiled politely. “I want to, I’d feel useless if I was just sitting.” 

As soon as Mrs. Parker left, Pamela glared at Ronnie and mouthed “fuck you”. In return, Ronnie just gave her a shit-eating grin. 

When everything was finished being set up, the women and Ronnie took their seats. Everyone now waited silently for Mr. Parker to make an appearance. It didn’t take long though, and after 3 minutes, Ronnie heard footsteps thundering down the stairs. Ronnie tensed and sat up straight at the sound. 

Jennifer and Pamela’s father came inside the room and greeted his wife with a kiss on the cheek. He turned around and looked Ronnie in the eye. 

“So you’re my daughter’s boyfriend?” 

Ronnie stood up from his chair and nodded. “Yes sir, it’s nice to meet you,” he said, particularly annunciating on sir. 

Mr. Parker stared at Ronnie for a good second before shaking the boy’s hand. Then he sat down at the head of the table and started eating, not even waiting for Ronnie to sit back down. Ronnie sat back down as fast as he could and waited for Jennifer to finish serving herself food so he could.

He liked being able to eat dinner without saying grace first. Ronnie dreaded whenever it was his turn to say it at dinner. It wasn’t that Ronnie didn’t believe in God, it was just Ronnie thought if God and Jesus loved him so much, he shouldn’t have to sing praises every 5 seconds. The first thing Ronnie planned to do as soon as he turned 18 was to stop going to church every Sunday.

The dinner was overall quiet and awkward. Ronnie felt like a stranger and everyone was on their guard, careful not to say anything that was too promiscuous. 

After everyone finished eating, Ronnie offered to help clean and do the dishes, but Mr. Parker said no because he wanted to have the man to man talk in private. Ronnie stared at the floor when he said that, mainly because he didn’t want to show the fact he was kind of scared of Mr. Parker and didn’t want to be in a room alone with him.

Jennifer shot him a worried look as Ronnie followed Mr. Parker into his office. When they got to the door, Mr. Parker opened it and gestured to Ronnie to enter. It was a nice office, with polished oak furniture and wooden floors. Mr. Parker closed the door and walked over to his desk, and opened one of its drawers. He pulled out a large Cuban cigar and lit it.

He looked at Ronnie for a second and then laughed. 

“You look so tense,” he said, taking the cigar out of his mouth and tapping it on the ashtray next to him. 

Ronnie shoved his hands into his pockets. 

“You smoke, don’t you?” 

Ronnie looked up. “How do you know?” Ronnie asked, forgetting the formalities. 

Mr. Parker put his cigar out. “I saw your eyes when I brought the cigar out.” 

Ronnie looked down. “Oh, sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, I won’t say anything to your parents.” 

Mr. Parker then looked at Ronnie’s face, his blackened eye especially. “Son, answer me truthfully when I ask you this.” 

Ronnie nodded and said, “Yes, sir.” 

Mr. Parker then spoke in a more gentle tone, which would have surprised Ronnie if he wasn’t so nervous. 

“Did your father give you the black eye?”

Ronnie swallowed and stared at Mr. Parker. He looked like a concerned father, not a scary, demanding figure. Ronnie looked at the floor in shame. 

“Yes,” he muttered quietly. Then Ronnie looked up and spoke in a pleading voice. “Please don’t say anything to Jennifer or my-my mom, it’d kill her to know the truth.”

Mr. Parker sighed. “Just do me a favor, Ronald,” he said. 

“What?” Ronnie asked. 

Mr. Parker stared him straight in the eye and spoke in a serious but kind manner. 

“Don’t break my little girl’s heart.” 

Notes:

CW: Ronald punches his son in the face, giving him a black eye

 

I hate Ronald <3 #jackparkerstannie

Chapter 4: The Farewell (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie takes Jennifer to Homecoming

Notes:

CW: Child abuse (See Endnotes)

stay safe y'all :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: The Farewell 

 

Two weeks later



The end of September was nearing, which meant homecoming was right around the corner. Within the two short weeks since Ronnie had dinner with the Parkers, Laurie got back together with Imogene, Ronnie was taking Jennifer to the dance, and Ronnie’s father had lost his job. 

Ronnie didn’t know why his father was fired but assumed it was because of his temper. Homelife had been bad before, but now it was nearly unbearable. Ronnie never came home until after 6 so his mother would be there, and during the weekends, He was out of the house by 8. Mary, who was worried about her son, asked why he was never home to which Ronnie just shrugged in reply. 

Ronald was always in a foul mood now. Not just to Ronnie, but to the girls as well. Mary was shocked to see Ronald yelling at Shannon or Beth for the smallest things, and often yelled at him back for making Shannon cry. In other words, it was a miserable experience. 

“Are you picking me up tonight or are we meeting each other there?” Jennifer asked, setting down the book she was reading.

Ronnie looked up. “Uh sorry, I was lost in thought. I was thinking we could meet each other there since you live pretty far away, and I don’t have a car.”

They were at the public library doing homework. Well, Jennifer was doing homework, Ronnie was taking a nap. 

Jennifer sighed. “Okay, so I’ll see you then.”

Ronnie gave her a sleepy smile. “You will.” 

Jennifer left after completing her homework, leaving Ronnie alone. He didn’t really want to go home, but he knew Mrs. Quimby, the librarian, detested him after he got caught drawing a dick on a copy of Great Expectations. Ronnie thought it was funny, but Mrs. Quimby sadly did not. So, Ronnie stood up, grabbed his backpack, and left. 

Fortunately, when Ronnie got home, his mother was already there. She kissed her son on the cheek and asked if he was excited about tonight’s dance. He told her that he was excited but nervous at the same time since it was his first dance because he didn’t go to homecoming the year prior.

“That’s how I felt when I went to my first dance. We don’t have homecoming or prom in Ireland, but we had spring and winter formal when I was in school,” Mary said, smiling sadly.

Ronnie knew that she missed Ireland very much, and it wasn’t her choice to come to America, but Ronnie’s father wanted to get away from his family and past since he was a former IRA member. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I’m taking an extra shift at Walgreens tonight, so when you get home from the dance tonight, I probably won’t be here.”

Ronnie frowned. He didn’t want her to go, but he knew they needed the money. He nodded and went up to his room. 

His suit for tonight was laid out on his bed, so he assumed his mother had taken it out of his closet and ironed it. He sat next to clothes and stared at the wall for who knows how long. Eventually, he got up and glanced at the clock on his desk which read 6:02. He knew Mrs. Alders was coming by at 6:45, so he started to change into the suit. 

Beth was sitting on the couch with Shannon watching tv when Ronnie came downstairs. Beth looked up at the sound of footsteps and immediately laughed at her older brother.

“You look dumb,” She said with a big smile on her face. 

Ronnie glared at her. “Shut up, Elizabeth,” he replied curtly. 

Beth just rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the television. Ronnie walked to the kitchen and grabbed the flowers he had bought for Jennifer the day before and sat on the couch next to Shannon, who had fallen asleep. 

“Hey Beth, can you put Shannon to bed after I leave?” 

Beth glanced at her brother and then at Shannon. “Okay.” 

A horn honked outside, and Ronnie stood up. 

“That’s probably Laurie and Mrs. Alders. I’ll be back at 10 most likely.”

Beth nodded and waved goodbye as Ronnie opened the door and left the house. Mrs. Alder’s car was parked on the street waiting. He jogged over and opened the door to see both Laurie and Imogene sitting in the back.

Ronnie tried to mask his annoyance as he sat down next to Imogene, who was now squashed between him and Laurie. Her bright red hair was all in his face. She glanced at the flowers Ronnie was holding and asked if they were for Jennifer. 

“Yeah.”

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Imogene said in a cheery voice.

Ronnie tried not to gag. 

Ronnie nearly jumped out of the car when they pulled up at the high school. Other parents were there dropping off their kids and taking pictures. Barbara made Laurie and Imogene stay behind so she could take pictures, but Ronnie left as soon as he could. 

As he was walking towards the gym doors, he saw Jennifer with Pamela and her date and walked over. 

“Jennifer!” Ronnie called out.

Jennifer turned around and grinned. She was wearing a pale pink dress that glowed against her copper skin. She eyed the flowers and smiled even more. 

“Are those for me?”

Ronnie’s ears turned slightly pink. “Uh, yeah,” he muttered, handing her the bouquet. 

Jennifer grabbed his hand and smelled the flowers. 

“C’mon, let’s go dance.”

Ronnie beamed. “Lead the way.” 

 

***

 

Ronnie got a ride home from Michael Smith, Pamela’s date. It was a quiet ride. Both Pamela and Michael obviously wanted to be alone, but Jennifer and Ronnie were in the back. Jennifer’s face was flushed from dancing and her lips were stained red from drinking too much punch. 

“McKittrick, this is your street right?” Michael said from the driver’s seat. Ronnie glanced out the window and saw the street sign.

“Yeah, just drop me off here, I can walk the rest of the way,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door. 

“Okay, see you at practice on Monday.”

“You too,” Ronnie said before getting out of the car and slamming the door shut. 

He watched the car drive off before starting his walk home. When he got to the front door, he could hear yelling coming from inside the house. He opened the door to see his father blowing up at Beth.

Ronald didn’t notice the door open and continued to scream at Beth who was in tears. Ronnie watched his father start to raise his hand, but Ronnie rushed in front of his sister.

“Get away from her,” Ronnie growled. 

Ronald set his hand down and looked at his son. “Excuse me?”

Ronnie glanced at Beth, who was clearly scared. 

“Go upstairs, Beth, okay?”

Beth nodded and ran up the stairs as fast as she could, leaving Ronnie and his father alone. 

“What? You wanna defend her now? I thought you couldn’t stand your sister,” Ronald said with a cruel smile on his face.

“She’s my sister, I’d defend her through thick and thin, even if she annoys the life out of me.”

Ronald just glared. “I’m tired of fucking cocky attitude and how you think you’re better than everyone in this house.”

“I’m better than you, that I know,” Ronnie replied, looking at his father in the eye.

Ronald smacked his son straight across the face. Ronnie fell back in surprise and clutched his cheek. 

“I hope you go to hell when you die,” Ronnie said, standing back up, but still holding his cheek.

Ronald did not react well to that. He grabbed Ronnie by the shoulder and dragged him into the living room wall. He then grabbed him by the neck and slammed him to the wall, his head hitting a picture frame. Ronnie could feel the glass break. 

He started kicking trying to knee his father, but it was useless. Ronald’s grip tightened around Ronnie’s neck until he couldn’t breathe and started gasping for air. His head started spinning and he couldn’t see.

“Da-,” Ronnie started to say but was interrupted by a loud, shrill, screaming voice.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!” 

Ronald turned his head and dropped Ronnie, who fell to the floor and started coughing, gasping for air. Mary stood by the front door, her eyes raging with fire. She marched up to Ronald and slapped him straight across his face. 

“YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY SON!” Mary screamed and pushed her husband away from her.

“Mar-”

Mary interrupted him, her voice calm but shaky. “If you’re still here tomorrow morning, I will call the cops. Get. Out.” 

Ronald stumbled towards the master bedroom and slammed the door shut. Mary ran over to her son and helped him up. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she muttered over and over again as they walked up the stairs and went into Ronnie’s room. 

Ronnie sat down on his bed and stared at the floor. Within 5 minutes, his father tried to kill him and his mother kicked his father, her husband of 20 years, out just like that. 

He watched his mother pace in his room until she sat next to him and started crying. He tried to comfort her, but his voice was still hoarse. He waited quietly until she recollected herself. 

“I was working the shift, and then Jack came in,” Mary began.

“Jack?” Ronnie asked, voice still slightly hoarse.

“Mr. Parker. He bought a lighter and as he was paying he informed me that it was your father that gave you the black eye. I- I didn’t believe him, but I took off early to investigate anyway, and then I came upon...” Mary started crying again. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Ronnie patted his mother’s shoulder. She turned towards him and opened her arms for a hug, which Ronnie gladly accepted. It felt nice, the warm embrace. Ronnie closed his eyes and rested his head on his mother’s chest. They sat there together for a while until they drifted into sleep. 

Ronnie woke up to Beth standing over him. Mary, who was asleep next to him, seemed to sense Beth’s presence and opened her eyes. Yawning, she stretched her arms and sat up.

“What is it, sweetie?”

Beth sniffed. “Where’s Daddy?

Notes:

CW: Ronald chokes Ronnie to the point of near unconsciousness

Chapter 5: Money, or the Lack Of (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

The McKittricks adjust to the lack of a father

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Money, or the Lack Of

 

November 1965



October went by so fast that it felt like Ronnie had just blinked, and suddenly it was Halloween. Ronnie was sitting on the porch watching his mother sell memories to strangers. They were having a garage sale to make some extra cash since Mary wasn’t ready to add a second mortgage to the house yet. Ronnie thought it was kinda funny it was called a garage sale because they didn’t even have one.

Beth was probably the most upset. She had watched her picture-perfect life completely turn to shit all within 24 hours. She resented her mother for sending her Daddy away and effectively ruining her life. Neither Mary nor Ronnie had told Beth the truth about her father, and Mary confided in her son she had no intention to. Ronnie guessed she still wanted her daughter to have a picture-perfect image of her former husband. 

Beth came out of the house struggling to carry Shannon. She looked at her brother, extremely upset. 

“This has been the worst year of my life,” she huffed, sitting next to him.

Ronnie glanced at his two sisters and sighed. “Life isn’t fair, you know that.”

Beth handed Shannon to Ronnie before standing up. She clenched her fists and hunched her shoulders.

“YOU’RE WORSE THAN MOM!” She yelled. “Why are you taking her side, she kicked out Daddy, and now we’re even poorer,” she ranted before sitting back down and starting to cry. 

Shannon looked at Beth. “Why are you crying?” she asked in her little baby voice.

Ronnie just stared at her. He rubbed Shannon’s back and sighed. He began to open his mouth, but decided against it, thinking it’d be better to not say anything. Together the two of them (plus Shannon) watched their mother sell away former memories. 

Three days after Ronald left, Ronnie decided to get a job to help support his mother. He learned about The Lotus Flower, the local Vietnamese restaurant, was hiring, and even though Ronnie didn’t know a thing about the culture, he decided to apply for the job. Ronnie got the job, but due to the war, the restaurant lost some customers. 

Mr. Tran, the owner, however, did not let that stop him. He started marketing and selling other types of Asian food, so instead of being Vietnamese, it would be all of Asia. Ronnie thought it was smart and tactical. 

In truth, he really didn’t like working there. Most of the employees were from Mr. Tran’s family, and Ronnie guessed they didn’t like the fact a white boy who knew nothing about Vietnamese food was gonna work with them. On top of that, Mr. Tran insisted that Ronnie learn the language if he was going to work there. 

Ronnie rarely complained about it in front of him, but Ronnie thought it was stupid and pointless. Whenever he did complain about it, Mr. Tran would just laugh and say, “You’ll thank me later.”

Ronnie hated the long days, with work and football practice, sometimes Ronnie wouldn’t get home until nearly 10. The fact he was also biking to school and to work now probably didn’t help either. 

Although money was tight, Ronnie managed to save enough to take Jennifer out on a date for their eighteen month anniversary. Jennifer told him he didn’t have to since she knew he couldn’t afford to anyway, but that only made Ronnie want to do it more. 

They were sitting at a booth at Kimberly’s eating burgers. Jennifer wore a green dress with white stripes and matching shoes. Ronnie was pretty sure he had seen Pamela wearing the same outfit before, but he didn’t ask. 

He usually ate everything in sight, but lately, he hadn’t had an appetite. Jennifer noticed this and expressed her concern. 

“Are you okay? You’ve barely touched your food. And you have the stomach of an elephant.”

Ronnie shrugged. “I dunno, I’m just not hungry,” he said, pushing his plate away from himself. 

Jennifer frowned. “I’m worried about you, you know. With your dad being gone and all, it must be hard at home.”

Ronnie looked up and sighed. “Can you just not talk about him?” He paused. “Please?”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” she replied with a hint of annoyance in her voice. 

Ronnie sighed again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound mean, I’m just stressed out that’s all.”

Jennifer took Ronnie’s hand and smiled gently. “It’s okay.” 

She then took a french fry off of Ronnie’s plate and put it in her mouth. Ronnie laughed softly and rubbed his eyes. The bags under his eyes were so purple they were almost black. He wished he had some way to cover them since Laurie told him he looked like a zombie from those old horror flicks from the 30s. He looked at Jennifer, who was staring right back at him.

“I mean honestly, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know when everything will go somewhat normal, I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me or my family, and I’m scared we’ll have to move away, and I won’t see you again,” Ronnie rushed out all of a sudden. 

Jennifer didn’t speak, but she took both of her boyfriend’s hands and smiled sadly. They looked at each other in silence as  Ronnie realized that was what he needed. A simple gesture of affection. To keep him from going insane. 

“With you Ronnie, I’ve learned it always eventually turns out okay.”

 

***

 

“So your mom kicked out your dad all of a sudden, and you still don’t know why?” Carrie, one of Beth’s best friends said, looking at Beth.

Beth nodded.

“Well, that’s awfully stupid,” Delilah, Beth’s other best friend added.

“I agree.” 

Beth had known Carrie Dale since kindergarten and Delilah Clark since she moved here in third grade. The girls clicked and had been best friends ever since. Carrie was a short freckled face girl with light brown eyes and hair while Delilah was tall, tanned, and had dark brown hair and light blue eyes.

The three girls walked down the paved sidewalk carrying their book bags. Usually, after school, Beth went over to Carrie or Delilah’s house, but because Ronnie wasn’t home early anymore, someone had to go and pick up Shannon from Mrs. Williams, their next-door neighbor who was kind enough to watch Shannon until Beth or Ronnie got home. 

Carrie and Delilah went inside the house first while Beth fetched Shannon. Beth hated having to walk over nearly every day and get her sister. She thought it wasn’t fair that she had to watch her sister after school while her brother got to play football. Sure, he worked now too but when Ronnie was 12, he never had to take care of a 3 year old alone. 

“Do you have crackers we can snack on?” Carrie asked as she saw Beth come into the house carrying Shannon, who was passed out. 

Beth shook her head no and dropped her school bag on the floor. “I’m gonna put Shannon in her bed, and then we can do homework in my room.” 

Carrie nodded and picked up her and Beth’s bags to take to Beth’s room while Beth put Shannon in her bed. When Beth came into her room, Carrie and Delilah were already on the floor working on homework sheets. Beth sat down next to her and pulled out her homework sheets from her bag. 

“How did you do on the math test?” Carrie asked, continuing to work out math problems on her paper. 

Beth sighed. “I got a 47.”

Both Delilah and Carrie looked up at her and Delilah dropped her pencil in surprise. 

“You got a 47? But you’re like the smartest person in the class. How did you fail?” Delilah exclaimed.

Beth frowned and set down her pencil. “I don’t know, I guess I haven’t been doing that well since Mom decided to ruin our lives. She doesn’t know I’ve been failing, she’s been too busy working to care about my brother and I’s grades.”

“That really sucks. I wish I could relate better but all I got is my brother sneaking off to Canada,” Carrie said, rubbing her right eye.

“Well, I guess it could be worse. He could be in Vietnam right now,” Delilah said sadly. Her older brother Xavier had been shipped off to Vietnam a couple of months ago.

“Yeah, good thing he isn’t.” Carrie’s eyes suddenly widened. “Oh! Guess what, guess what,” She said, clearly excited.

“What?” Beth and Delilah asked at the same time.

Carrie could barely contain her excitement. “My Mom and I are going to Dallas for the weekend.”

“Wait, aren’t The Beatles performing in Dallas this weekend?” Delilah questioned.

Carrie grinned. “I know, and I’m gonna see them!”

Beth’s jaw opened and she banged the floor with her fist.  “No fair! I wanna see The Beatles,” she said, sighing and frowning at the floor. 

Delilah just laughed.

Delilah was probably the only girl Beth knew who didn’t like The Beatles. Beth thought she was crazy because of it, but Delilah always said that she didn’t hate them, she just thought The Rolling Stones were better. Beth thought they were okay, but since Ronnie liked them, Beth didn’t really listen to them. He’d tease her and call her a copycat if she did.

“I asked my mom if you could come, but she only had enough money to get two tickets because everything else was too expensive or sold out. I promise I’ll bring you something from the concert, I promise.”

Beth looked up and smiled. “Really?”

Carrie nodded.

“Well, if you by any chance see Paul, tell him that I wanna marry him, and I turn 18 in 6 years, so if he can wait for that long, we’ll be good.”

Carrie laughed. “Okay, I will.

Delilah made a disgusted face.

Beth glared at her. “You think Mick Jagger is hot.”

Delilah shrugged. “Well, he is, sorry to break it to you, Paul McCartney is not.”

“You just don’t have good taste in men.”

Delilah stuck her tongue at Beth before breaking into a laugh. Beth and Carrie stared at her before they started laughing too.

Delilah and Carrie stayed for another hour before they went home, leaving Beth alone with Shannon, who was still asleep. After finishing her homework, she found herself extremely bored. Nothing was on the TV, and Beth didn’t want to read a book, so she did what any sister would do home alone: Snoop in her brother’s room. 

Beth opened the door to Ronnie’s room and stepped inside. For a guy’s room, it was surprisingly neat. There were no clothes on the floor, and everything was arranged neatly on his desk. The only thing that wasn’t neat was his bed, which was unmade, and the blankets were scrunched up to one side of the bed. Well, it meant he wasn’t a complete psychopath. 

Beth went to his closet and opened the door. There seemed to be nothing suspicious but when she looked down, she saw a container of lemon-scented cleaner. She sniffed the air and realized it smelled faintly of lemon, which meant Ronnie was hiding something. She closed the door and moved to his dresser drawer.

The first four drawers didn't have anything but clothes, but in the fifth one, underneath his pajama bottoms, were some magazines that Beth had seen in the grocery store, but they had an 18+ label on them. She picked one that had a woman lying on a couch wearing a bikini and opened it. Inside was a picture of another woman wearing absolutely nothing. 

She immediately regretted it and dropped the magazine on the floor in disgust. “EW!”

She put the magazine back and tried to forget what she saw. She finally got to Ronnie’s desk and looked at the pictures on the wall above it. It was mostly cars and pictures of him with his friends and Jennifer, his girlfriend. Beth had no idea how he got a girlfriend, especially someone as pretty as Jennifer.

She opened the desk drawer and gasped. “Oh my gosh.”

Inside the drawer was an ashtray that had ashes in it, two packs of cigarettes, a lighter, and an almost empty bottle of her mom’s favorite type of Irish whiskey that she knew cost around 50 bucks. 

She shut the desk drawer and laughed. Ronnie was screwed now. All she had to do was tell Mom and he’d be in so much trouble. She left the room and went to her own. If she told Mom now, what would she do? Beth frowned and realized it wouldn’t help since Ronnie’s already out late working and Mom’s too stressed at the moment. Sure, it was her Mom’s fault that she was stressed, but Beth knew she would probably either react by being upset or crying, or by kicking Ronnie out too. Well, Beth hoped that she would.

If she couldn’t snitch, she could use it as blackmail. Beth pondered this. Blackmail was much better than snitching, and if he didn't do what she wanted, she could just snitch. Beth smirked and leaned back into her bed. Ronnie didn’t know what he was in for. 

Mary didn’t get home until 10:30. Beth had stayed up and made dinner for herself and Shannon. While eating, Ronnie came home from his job, looking exhausted. He didn’t even make himself dinner, he just went to his room and crashed on his bed with his shoes still on, which Beth thought was gross. 

Beth sat on the stairs waiting for her mother to come home. She was still angry at her, but she still loved her and missed her making dinner and desserts. Mary didn’t even notice Beth on the stairs when she walked into the house. 

She dropped her purse on the couch and sat down next to it. She took a deep breath and started to cry, which shocked Beth. She thought about standing up and making her presence known, but she decided against it and stayed where she was, watching her mother sobbing on the sofa.

Notes:

Poor Mary :( Beth is a little snoop and snitch but what 12 year old isn't?

On The Beatles concert: I've tried to keep concert dates accurate, but this one isn't but like we can pretend it is. #georgewasthebest

Chapter 6: Seasons of Grace and Giving (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie meets someone in detention and Beth uses her blackmailing skills

 

(AKA Ronnie has a total of three brain cells)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: Seasons of Grace and Giving

 

Wednesday, December 15th, 1965



 

After football season ended, life became considerably easier for Ronnie. Instead of working until 8, he got off from his job at 6 and actually had time to do his homework for once. School hadn’t gotten any easier though. If anything, just harder.

Final exams were right around the corner, which meant every class stacked piles of homework and study guides. Ronnie hated having to lug around his heavy backpack everywhere he went. It got old fast. 

“So as you all know, our final exam is next Monday, so I hope all of you have gone through your study guide and worksheets I handed out. Any questions?” Miss Warren’s shrill voice asked the class.

Ronnie, seeing it as an opportunity to be an asshole, smirked and raised his hand.

Miss Warren frowned when she saw him raising his hand. “Yes, Mr. McKittrick?”

“I don’t really see the point of you giving us study guides since English is the same thing every year with some extra fancy words, and we haven’t read any books as a class yet, so I see no point in giving them out, much less actually doing it.” 

Miss Warren glared at Ronnie. “And I assume you didn’t do it?”

Ronnie chuckled and flashed a grin. “Take a wild guess, Linda,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair. 

The class stifled a laugh and stared at the two of them. Suddenly, Miss Warren slammed her hand on her desk, making a loud THUD sound. 

“THAT’S IT!” She yelled. “I am sick and tired of your smart mouth and your extreme laziness in my class. You’re getting detention today, and I’ll make it Saturday detention if you don’t be quiet.”

Ronnie watched her rush over to her desk and write his name on a detention slip. He just rolled his eyes and scratched his ear. All he had to do was mention a few little words to the principal, and that woman would be fired. Detention didn’t scare him, and neither did the shrill woman at the front of the classroom. 

“You are one of the stupidest, most impulsive people I know, McKittrick, I hope you know that,” Laurie said to Ronnie as soon as they left the class.

Ronnie smiled. “Being stupid and impulsive is one of my many talents, Alders, you should try it sometimes.”

Laurie just scoffed and shoved Ronnie’s shoulder.

Although originally Ronnie planned to skip detention and snitch on Miss Prissy-Pants, he decided he didn’t want to get his mother involved, so he ended up going to detention. He had been to detention more than he would have liked to say and was hoping he’d get through his sophomore year without getting one. Well, that went down the drain. 

When he opened the door to the room where detention was held expecting to see the usual group of greasers and troublemakers, but there was only one person in the room. And it was a girl. A very pretty girl. 

Ronnie walked into the room and went to Mr. Wilkinson, the teacher who usually hosted detention, and tapped on his desk to get his attention. Mr. Wilkinson set down his book and looked up to see Ronnie staring at him. He pursed his lips and shook his head.

“Ronnie… I thought we were gonna stay out of detention this year?”

“It’s not my fault, my English teacher’s a bitch.”

“Language.”

“Sorry.”

Mr. Wilkinson gestured to the girl sitting down. “Please sit next to Miss Osborne while I fetch some things from my classroom. I trust that you’ll behave?”

Ronnie nodded and sat down next to the girl as Mr. Wilkinson left the classroom. She had really pale skin, long wavy light brown hair, and orangish-brown eyes.

“So, you’re Ronnie McKittrick,” the girl said as soon as Mr. Wilkinson wasn’t within earshot.

Ronnie raised a brow. “You know who I am?”

The girl laughed. “Of course, I know who you are. You’re on the football team, and you were the first freshman to make varsity football.”

“Didn’t realize I was so popular,” Ronnie mumbled.

“Well, I am friends with your girlfriend too.”

Ronnie looked up at her. “Oh, you know Jennifer? I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

“I’m Grace,” Grace said, batting her long eyelashes at Ronnie. He chose to ignore them.

“Nice to meet you,” Ronnie muttered. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking my detention nap,” he said, folding his arms on the desk and laying his head on them before closing his eyes. He could vaguely hear Grace laugh and say you’re funny.

After detention, Ronnie tried to hustle out of there since he was already an hour late for work, but Grace wouldn’t leave him alone. Normally he liked pretty girls paying attention to him, but he didn’t want to face Mr. Tran’s wrath and have to be on dish duty the whole shift. 

“Grace, as much as I like attention, well except attention from my father, I have to go. I’m late for work, and I don’t wanna wash dirty dishes the whole time. You get me?” Ronnie said, trying to speed walk away from her. “I gotta walk to work since I took the bus this morning, so I need to get a move on. I’ll talk to you later.”

Grace frowned and gave a pouty face. “Aww… well, I was wondering if you could come over tonight?”

Ronnie stopped walking and turned to face her. “Why?”

Grace smiled slyly. “I need help with algebra, and since you’re in 10th grade, you passed the class so you must know something about it.”

Ronnie stared blankly at her. “Are your parents gonna be home?”

“Uh… yeah sure.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes and sighed. “Okay fine, I have nothing better to do anyway. I’ll bring my old notebook if I didn’t throw it out. Which I probably did.”

“Come around 8:00 okay? My address is 248 Bluewall Drive,” Grace said, winking.

Ronnie turned around and continued walking trying to figure out why Grace needed help with her math homework. 

 

***

 

Ronnie came home to his mother and sister setting up the Christmas tree. It was nice to see a happy scene at home, and it seems like Beth finally got over her anger at Mom long enough to help decorate. Shannon was playing with her toys in her playpen next to them. She stood up using the playpen walls and laughed when Ronnie walked in the door. 

“Ronnie!” She shouted, bouncing up and down. 

Mary looked away from the tree. “Oh hello honey, Beth and I were getting started on the tree. Would you like to help?”

Ronnie glanced at the clock that now read 6:45. “I got a lot of homework tonight. I don’t think I’ll be able to help decorate. I’ll probably be up until 9 or 10 doing it so I just go to bed after. I’ll see you in the morning I guess.” He picked up his backpack and started walking up the stairs.

“Ronnie, please eat dinner before you go,” Mary chided.

“I ate at work,” Ronnie lied.

“Okay, good night sweetie. Remember we have to leave the house by 7 tomorrow so we can pick up Aunt Moira and Líadan from the airport.”

Moira was Ronnie's Uncle Liam's widow. Liam had been killed when Moira was only a few weeks pregnant. Ronnie didn't know the full story of how he died, but he knew it was one of the reasons why his parents left Ireland. Moira despised Ronald, and as a result, Ronnie had only met her and her daughter a handful of times. Now that her brother-in-law was out of the picture, Moira was more than glad to stay and visit for Christmas. 

Beth snickered. “Yeah, good night sweetie,” she said in a baby voice. 

Ronnie stared at her. “Mom, it was Beth who broke the blue china vase, not Shannon.”

Mary gasped. “Elizabeth Mary McKittrick! How dare you lie to me and blame it on your sister who can’t even pronounce her own name correctly!”

Beth glared at Ronnie as he went up the stairs, smirking evilly. 

He threw his backpack on his bed and pulled out his homework so it looked like he was doing something in case Mary came to check on him. He dug around looking for his old algebra notebook, but couldn’t find it. 

“I’ll have to just use what she has,” he muttered to himself. 

Ronnie snuck out 45 minutes after he said he was going in for the night. He left his bike on the side of the house so it was easier to get to at night. He opened his window, got on his roof, and climbed down to the grass. It was amazing how easy it was to sneak out. It was kinda sad too, but mostly amazing. 

It was around 7:56 by the time Ronnie found Grace’s house. She lived close to Connor Irwin’s house, so he wondered if she knew him. He got off his bike and walked towards the entrance of the house. The lights were all out, and there was no car in the driveway. 

“That’s weird, it looks like no one is home. Hope I got the right house,” he muttered to himself.

Ronnie knocked on the door and waited for someone to open the door. After a few seconds Grace opened the door. 

“Oh hey, you’re here. Right on time,” she said, gesturing to him to come in. 

Ronnie stepped inside and looked around. All the lights were off and it seemed like no one was home. Ronnie started to wonder if she genuinely wanted to study math after all.

“Grace, why are all the lights off?”

“Oh, my parents aren’t home for the week, and I’m not supposed to waste electricity.”

Ronnie’s eyes widened. “Your parents aren’t here?”

Grace shook her head no. 

“Why’d you invite me? I assume we’re not studying?”

Grace giggled. “Of course we’re not, silly, how thick are you?"

Ronnie took a step back. “Grace, I have a girlfriend. You’re friends with her for God’s sake.” 

“So, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.” Grace stepped closer to Ronnie and unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a basically see-through camisole.

Ronnie’s hands fumbled for the doorknob but Grace wrapped her hands around his face and pulled him closer to her. Her tongue licked the bottom of Ronnie’s lip as she began to kiss him. 

Ronnie’s heart kept pounding no, but he couldn’t help himself. He slid his hands down her back and kissed her right back.

 

***

 

Ronnie gripped the handles of his bike so tightly, all of his knuckles were white. He had a cigarette in his mouth since it was freezing out, and he thought smoking would keep him warm. He hoped that his mother and sisters were in bed by now so it’d be easier sneaking back in. The Christmas lights and decor outside everyone’s house didn’t help much. If one neighbor saw him and told his mother, he knew he’d be busted. 

Finally, he got to his street and peddled as fast as he could to avoid seeing anyone he knew. He practically jumped off his bike when he got to his house and quickly pushed it up the driveway and into the backyard. He took out his cigarette and threw it out in the trash can next to the backyard gate. He looked around before starting to climb up the house to his window. 

Most people would have found this difficult, but Ronnie had been sneaking out since middle school, so he got pretty good with scaling houses. He reached the edge roof and swung his leg over so he could pull himself up. He walked up the roof as quietly as he could and opened his window. 

That’s funny, he thought. I swore I left it open. Well, at least my room won’t be frigid cold. He swung one leg into his room and stepped inside. He shut his window and took off his jacket, sighing. 

“Busted,” a sing-song voice said from the shadows.

Ronnie nearly jumped and turned to see where the voice was coming from. Beth was sitting on his bed reading his copy of The Time Traveler. She looked up and set the book down. 

“Didn’t know you liked to read.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, I came in here asking if I could borrow a pen, but when I came into your room… you weren’t even there.” She laughed. “Isn’t that funny?”

Ronnie glowered at her.

“Well let’s see, I just caught you sneaking out,” she replied, lifting a finger. “I know about your cigarettes.” She put another finger up. “You smell like cigarettes, and I also know about your trashy magazines.” Two fingers. “And finally, I found a nearly empty bottle of the really expensive Irish whiskey Mom and Dad used to import from Ireland.” She put her pinkie finger up and laughed. “You are so screwed.” 

“What do you want? I know that face. You want something, don’t you?”

Beth patted the bed. “Come sit next to me, my dear brother, and I’ll tell you.”

Ronnie dragged his feet over to his sister and sat next to her.

“If you tell me what I want to know and give me 2 bucks, I’ll pretend this encounter never happened.”

Ronnie glared at her and pulled out his wallet from his pocket. “I hate you.” 

She snatched his wallet and pulled out 2 dollars before giving it back to him. “Thank you.” 

“So… what do you want?” He asked, clearly annoyed.

Beth set the 2 dollars aside and looked at her brother. “Why?”

Ronnie raised a brow. “Why what?”

Beth slapped his leg. “Why is Daddy gone? It's obvious that you know, and you won’t tell me, and neither will Mom, and she ruined our lives, and it’s not fair!” 

Ronnie sighed. “If I tell you, you won’t see Dad in the same way as you do now, and.. you probably won’t believe me.”

“Just tell me, Ronnie.” 

“Okay… um, how do I say this? The night when I came from the dance and Dad was yelling at you and you ran upstairs right? He pushed me into the wall and choked me afterward.”

“What?!” Beth said in disbelief.

“Mom got home just in time. If she had got there 5 minutes later, I’d probably be dead. Did you notice that I wore turtlenecks for a week? And it doesn’t stop there. It was Dad that gave me the black eye and the scar on my back, he pushed me into some glass when I was 12. There’s a lot more, but they’ve faded away for the most part. 

And um I haven’t told Mom this, but after Mom gave birth to Shannon, he started having an affair too. And I know who it is. It’s my fucking English teacher,” Ronnie said, trying to be as calm and monotone as possible but bringing back up bad memories also brought the emotions that came with it, and Beth didn’t need to see her brother have an emotional breakdown. 

Beth didn’t say anything, she just stared at the floor. Ronnie could see tears streaming down her face. Finally, she looked up at her brother as another tear trickled from her eye down to her chin.

“Wh-Why did he treat you so badly?” She asked, her voice quivering.

Ronnie wrapped his arm around his sister. She leaned towards him and started crying into his shirt.

“I don’t know honestly,” Ronnie said, rubbing her back. 

Beth cried for a few more minutes before recomposing herself and rubbing her face. “I know this is bad to ask, but do you think we’ll ever see him again?”

Ronnie looked at his sister. Her big brown eyes looked straight back at him. 

“Honestly Beth? I don’t think we will.” 

Notes:

Ronnie is such an idiot but a sweet one

For Context

Two dollars in 1965 is 17.65 today

Chapter 7: Life Goes On (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Life, in fact, does go on.

Notes:

hello,

how are y'all?

CW: underage smoking

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: Life Goes On

 

Wednesday, January 11th, 1966



After Ronnie told the truth to Beth, she stopped being mean to Mary and even apologized to her. She started being nicer to Ronnie, which was nice at first but got annoying fast. He kind of missed their bickering relationship. He hoped that she would stop being so nice to him soon. But of course, if she did, she’d probably have snitched about everything. 

Ronnie was supposed to be in English at the moment, but he didn’t want to see the bitch’s face today. Besides, today they were starting to read The Tale of Two Cities, and Ronnie knew his mom had a copy of the book, so he could read it at home. 

At the moment he was wandering around the empty halls trying to think of somewhere good to hang out at for the next 50 minutes. Eventually, he decided to go to the cafeteria where ninth grade was eating, so it’d be easier to blend in and he could see Jennifer. 

The cafeteria was loud and full of kids eating and talking. Ronnie started walking around looking for Jennifer. He spotted her sitting near the window and walked over. As he was walking, one of the girls next to her turned her head so Ronnie got a look at her face. 

It was Grace. Ronnie stopped walking, and his face paled. 

Oh shit, he thought. 

He started looking for a place to leave without the teachers or chaperones watching, but Jennifer caught sight of him and waved him over. Reluctantly, Ronnie headed over. 

“Ronnie, what are you doing here? Don’t you have English?” Jennifer asked, setting her sandwich down.

Ronnie sat down in the seat on her right. “Well, as you can see, I’m skipping. You know I hate my English teacher.”

Jennifer laughed and then gestured to the girls sitting with her. “These are my friends, Ronnie.” Jennifer pointed to Ronnie. “Uh, this is my boyfriend, Ronnie McKittrick.” 

“You’re so lucky to be dating a guy on the football team,” a girl with brown hair and freckles said.

“Well, technically the football season’s over, so I’m not currently on the team. I'm on the basketball team though, but if I don't pass my math test, I'll get kicked off, and then I'll probably be forced by Mrs. Townsend to be in the spring play. Again.”

The girls giggled. 

“That’s Janet,” Jennifer said, pointing at the girl with brown hair and freckles. “And next to her is Tiffany, and this is Grace.”

Grace gave him a little wave and a sly smile. “Hi, I’m Grace, nice to meet you.”

Ronnie tried to smile back but it just came out as a grimace. He prayed that Jennifer didn’t notice. 

“So… why do you hate your English teacher?” Tiffany questioned, taking a bite from her pile of peas. 

Ronnie sighed deeply. “She’s a fucking whore.” 

Tiffany and Janet gasped while Jennifer just rolled her eyes, and Grace laughed. 

“You would say that about your teacher?” Tiffany asked, shocked.

Ronnie snorted. “Yeah and worse.” 

“Ronnie, not everyone’s vulgar. Some of us actually have manners,” Jennifer scolded. 

“Okay, I’m sorry for not being a prude.”

“I’m not a prude,” Janet said, trying to defend herself. 

“Janet sweetie, you’re literally wearing a skirt that goes past your knees,” Grace pointed out.

“Grace, don’t be so mean,” Jennifer scolded again. 

“Okay, Mommy.”

Even Ronnie had to laugh at that. 

The bell rang and suddenly the whole room was on their feet cleaning up and leaving. Ronnie stood and slung his backpack over his shoulder. He kissed Jennifer and told the girls it was nice to meet them. Well, he told Janet and Tiffany that. He just ignored Grace and left hoping that Miss Warren, who had hallway duty after 6th period, wouldn’t see him.

Unfortunately, Ronnie had terrible luck, and she spotted him walking toward drama class. She beckoned him with her finger, and sadly, he slugged his way over. 

“If you’re gonna make me late, Linda, you better give me a pass.”

“Watch your mouth, I’ll give you detention again,” Miss Warren replied.

“Okay and I’ll tell the principal that you’re sleeping with my father and more.”

Miss Warren scowled. “ You’re such an ungrateful little brat, I let you pass my class and this is how you thank me? Your father was right. You’re just a good-for-nothing bum.”

“He said that about me? Are you still talking to him? Wow, you are a whore.”

Miss Warren’s nostrils flared. “Your daddy is in Colorado and actually, I will be moving to be with him after this school year. Then I won’t have to see you ever again.”

“Fuck off,” Ronnie said, before storming away from her and walking towards his next class.

Since he didn’t work every other Wednesday, his mother had him pick up Beth from school since he got out before him. He ended up waiting another hour before Beth finally came out of the school. 

Ronnie shivered and started yelling when he saw Beth. “What took so long!? I’ve been waiting a whole ass hour now and it’s freezing outside. If you couldn’t tell, It’s January.” 

Beth looked at the asphalt. “Sorry,” she muttered. She looked back up and gave her brother a look. “Why are you here?”

“Mom told me to pick you up since I didn’t have work today.”

“I know how to get home.”

“What took so long?”

Beth frowned and her lip quivered. “I got-got detention.” She gave him a pleading look. “Please don’t tell Mom.”

“You know they’ll call later.”

Beth’s lips started to quiver even more.

 Okay fine, I’ll delete the message before she gets home.”

“Than-”

“But only if you tell me why.” 

Beth sighed and crossed her arms. “I punched a kid.”

Ronnie sniggered. Beth scowled. 

“Sorry. What happened?”

“He made fun of me for my dad leaving and said it was my fault and some other stuff.”

Ronnie sighed. “Kids are dicks sometimes, okay? And you should hear what they’ve said at my school. Way, way worse.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not telling you for your own good. Now c’mon, I’m cold, and I want to go home.” 

Beth nodded and took off running towards home while Ronnie followed. When they got home Mary was home after all. She was on the phone when they walked in. Beth’s face paled, but when Mary saw them she didn’t look upset at all, so Ronnie assumed she hadn’t gotten the call from the school yet. 

“You’re fine,” Ronnie whispered into Beth’s ear.

She nodded and ran up to her room. Ronnie watched her go up and then went up to his own. 

“Dinner’s at 7,” Mary muttered to Ronnie when he walked past her. 

He nodded his head and went to his room. He didn’t have much homework other than geometry and reading the chapters he missed while skipping class. He knew the class was a slow reader so he’d probably be fine with just reading two or three chapters. 

After finishing all of his homework, Ronnie got bored, so he lit a cigarette and started tossing his brand-new football in the air and catching it while smoking. The football was a recent Christmas present from his mother’s sister and Beth’s godmother, his Aunt Eileen, who lived in Kansas City and had come down for Christmas and New Year’s Eve. 

After tossing the ball up in the air who knows how many times, Ronnie heard a knocking at the door. He immediately dropped the ball and threw his cigarette out the window as fast as someone could say “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”. 

Ronnie went back to his bed and said, “Come in.”

Beth opened the door and walked inside. She closed the door and sniffed the air before wrinkling her nose.

“You were smoking, weren’t you? It smells in here.”

“That’s what the lemon cleaner in the closet is for. You never come in here for no reason. What do you want?”

“Can I talk to you?”

Ronnie fell back on his bed and sighed. “Fine.”

Beth plopped next to Ronnie’s legs. She sat there silently for a minute but then started crying. Ronnie sat up and stared at his sister.

“You okay?” That was dumb, a voice inside Ronnie’s head said. She’s crying, does she look like she’s okay?

“I jus-just feel horrible right now, '' she said, sniffing. 

“Why?”

“I miss Daddy,” she burst out and started crying harder. 

“If you cry any louder, the whole town and the state of Nebraska will hear you. Maybe even the whole Midwest.”

Beth wiped her nose. “Sorry.”

“Well, you should feel bad, he tried to kill me.” 

Beth just cried even harder. Wrong answer, McKittrick, the voice chided. 

“Beth, please stop crying, I’m sorry okay? That was mean of me, even though it’s true. Look, your experience with Dad was different from mine. It’s not your fault this happened, I’m just bitter. And if we’re being honest, maybe a bit jealous too.”

Beth stopped crying and sniffed. “You were jealous of me?” She said it like she couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, you are the favorite child for so long, and you’re really spoiled, no offense but it’s true. And you’re way more innocent than I was when I was your age. Of course, I’m jealous.”

“I guess I’m really lucky then,” Beth muttered quietly. 

“Yeah.” 

“You know Ronnie,” Beth began. 

“What?”

“Shannon’s gonna grow up without a father. She probably won’t even remember him.” 

Ronnie swallowed and nodded. “I know,” he replied sadly. “I know.”

 

Five days later

 

Ronnie knew he shouldn’t have done it. But he couldn’t help his emotions and unchecked anger. Mike Thomson deserved it. Hell, he deserved much worse than a broken nose, yet sadly, Ronnie got pulled off of him before he could do anything else. 

He was sitting outside the principal’s office clutching an ice pack to his jaw, where Mike had punched him. Mike was in the office already, hearing out his punishment. Ronnie wondered how much trouble he was in. Fighting most times meant suspension, but since Ronnie had gotten multiple detentions last year, he was worried he could be expelled. 

The office door slammed open and a disgruntled Mike Thomson came out. His nose was purple and swollen. He glared at Ronnie harshly. “Thanks a lot, dick wad, I got kicked off the baseball team.” 

“Well, maybe you should think before you insult my mother,” Ronnie said, flashing a grin, though it hurt his jaw. 

“Shut up, mama’s boy,” Mike retorted before walking towards the secretary’s desk. 

“Ronald McKittrick, please come in and close the door,” a voice said inside the principal’s office. 

Reluctantly, Ronnie stood and entered the office. Dr. Henderson was sitting behind his desk with his hand clasped together. He gestured to the chair in front of the desk for Ronnie to sit down.

“Sit down, son,” he said calmly. 

Ronnie sat down and put the ice pack in his lap. “Yes, sir,” he spoke softly. 

“Well Ronald, I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this again,” he said sternly. 

Ronnie looked at his shoes. Last year he had gotten suspended for punching someone after they spilled milk all over him on purpose. Mary had yelled and grounded him for it, but that was nothing compared to what Ronald did when he found out. Ronnie still had a small scar on his leg from the belt that hadn’t faded away. If he was gonna get suspended, boy he was glad Dad was out of the picture. 

“Normally when fights happen, we suspend the student for a few days and bar him or her from doing sports for the rest of the year. Mike, your sparring buddy, has been suspended for the rest of today, tomorrow, and Wednesday. I overheard him tell you that he was kicked from the baseball team. 

Now, I know about the situation at home, and I personally don’t think it would be wise to have a nearly 16 year old with no adult supervision in his home alone where he can easily leave. A suspension is a punishment, not a gift. I’ve phoned your mother and she agrees with me. So that leaves the question: What are we going to do, Ronald?”

“I don’t know, sir.” 

“For the next 3 Saturdays, you will serve detention instead of suspension. You will also serve detention today, and you are barred from the basketball team or trying out for any other spring sports for the rest of the semester. Understand?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yes sir.” 

“Now, take this slip and go back to class,” Dr. Henderson said, handing Ronnie a hall pass.

“Thank you,” Ronnie uttered before leaving Dr. Henderson’s office. 

Ronnie was kind of upset that he didn’t get suspended. 2 and a half days of doing nothing sounded nice. Plus, he could have easily left the house anytime he wanted. Then again, he probably would have gotten stuck babysitting Shannon, so maybe three Saturday detentions weren’t so bad. 

Detention that afternoon was way more crowded than the last time Ronnie went. At least 20 students were sitting at desks when Ronnie arrived. He looked around for a seat, and there was one empty next to Bill, a kid in his geometry class and the basketball team. 

“Can I sit here?” Ronnie asked.

Bill looked up. “Do you see anyone else here?”

"Uh, no.”

“Then go right on ahead, McKittrick,” Bill muttered, scratching the back of his afro.

Ronnie sat down and looked at his desk. There was a piece of paper and a pencil. Mr. Wilkinson wasn’t hosting detention today, so that meant Mrs. Fueller was. Ronnie already hated Mrs. Fueller because of chemistry, but she also made everyone write an essay during detention and wouldn’t let you leave until you finished, which made Ronnie hate her even more. Ronnie glanced at the chalkboard to see what was today’s prompt. What are some ways you can do to prevent getting after-school detention? List 3 reasons and why. 5 paragraphs minimum.  

Ronnie groaned. He glanced at Bill, who was already starting to write his essay. “How'd you get in here?”

“Someone called me a certain word,” Bill mumbled, not even looking up. “So I dipped his notebook in chemicals.”

Ronnie snorted. Bill looked up and cocked a brow. 

“Sorry.”

After the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964, all schools in Ridge's Creek were officially equal in funding and rights, although all the schools in the district had already been desegregated for five years now. The town was still mostly white and when Bill’s oldest brother started high school, he was the first black student to attend. Ronnie didn’t honestly find that impressive or progressive, he just found it sad. It took 100 years to go by before people of color were even considered just as human as white people in the eyes of the law. Ronnie was just glad he didn’t live in the deep south. 

“You got in a fight, right?” Bill asked, continuing to write his essay.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Mike Thomson asked if my mother was gonna whore herself around to help pay the bills.”

Bill looked up. “Yikes, man.”

“Well, I broke his nose, so guess who got the last laugh,” Ronnie mused. 

Bill set his pencil and rubbed his nose. “How do you feel about it, though, like do you think you might have to start doing things to stay afloat?”

Ronnie sighed and swallowed. “At this point, I don’t know.”

Ronnie had never seen Mr. Tran this angry before. When Ronnie walked into the restaurant, Mr. Tran eyed him and asked him to come to the kitchen so he could reprimand him in private. 

“Why are you late again?” Mr. Tran asked, his arms crossed. “This is the third time you are late. You tell me that after football you come sooner. If you are late again, I will dock your pay. Understand?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said before hurrying off to grab an apron. 

He decided not to tell Mr. Tran why he was late because he’d probably get punished here too. 

“You got detention?” Mr. Tran would say. “Go, you have dish duty the whole time you are here.”

Mr. Tran made him stay an extra hour to make up the time he lost so he didn’t get home until 7:30. Mary’s car wasn’t in the driveway yet, so Ronnie assumed it was leftovers for dinner. He walked into the house to see Beth passed out on the couch and Shannon sitting next to her, playing with a stuffed bunny she called Ruthie. 

“Hey, cutie,” Ronnie said, picking her up and holding her.

“Ronnie, hi,” Shannon babbled, giving him a grin. 

“You hungry?” 

Shannon nodded. “Yes, I want food.”

Ronnie chuckled. “Okay I’ll reheat some leftovers, and you can sit in your high chair with Ruthie.”

Shannon looked like what Beth looked like when she was 3, other than the fact she had black hair and the same eye shape as Ronnie. She cried much less than Beth did, and from what Ronnie could remember, Shannon was a far easier baby than Beth ever was.

Ronnie put her in her highchair and pulled out the leftover meatloaf Mary had made yesterday. He turned on the oven and waited for it to heat up. After putting it in the oven and nearly burning himself taking it out, Ronnie served himself and Shannon. He left out two plates for Mary and Beth, covered with some napkins. 

Shannon finished eating and made a mess of herself, so Ronnie bathed her. Shannon hated baths unless they were bubble baths, and after Ronald left, she had gotten significantly fewer bubble baths to conserve soap. 

Ronnie felt bad and decided to let her have a bubble bath, much to her delight. He watched her play with soapy water, splashing and giggling. Afterward, he dried her off and put her in her pajamas. 

“Bed?” Shannon asked as he carried her into her room.

“Yeah.”

Shannon’s lips quivered and her big brown eyes widened. “No! I don’t want to,” she said as she started to cry.

Ronnie groaned. “Hey, it’s bedtime, no crying your crocodile tears,” he said, stroking her head.

Shannon calmed down after Ronnie gave her Ruthie, and she settled into her bed. “Night night, Ronnie.”

Ronnie smiled. “Good night, Shannon.”

He closed her door quietly and went downstairs. Beth was still passed out on the couch so Ronnie put a blanket over her. He then went over to the phone and decided to call up Jennifer. 

“Who’s this?” Jennifer’s voice said from the phone.

“It’s me,” Ronnie replied.

Jennifer sighed in relief. “Oh my god, I was so worried when they broke up the fight, and you were sent to the office. Did you get suspended?”

“No, I got 3 back-to-back Saturday detentions instead.”

“Oh, that’s good because my dad would make me break up with you if you had gotten suspended.”

“Yeah, well, in that case, it’s a really good thing that I didn’t get suspended. I guess it’s also a good thing he doesn’t know that I got suspended last year.”

Jennifer laughed into the phone. 

“I had detention this afternoon too. It sucked. I had to write an essay about ways to avoid getting into trouble.”

Jennifer snickered. “Well, it's not that hard. Step one: Don’t get into fights. Step two: Don’t be Ronnie McKittrick.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Parker.”

“Hey, my mom’s calling me for dinner, so I gotta go. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“I love you,” Jennifer said.

“I love you too,” Ronnie replied before hanging up. 

Sighing deeply, Ronnie sat down on the couch, careful not to sit on Beth. Did he love her? Or was he just saying that just because? After Ronald left, he found more comfort in her and at times she was way easier to talk to than Laurie. Then again, Ronnie pulled the one thing you shouldn’t do when you have a girlfriend: Going over to a random girl’s house at night. Not just any girl. A girl she was friends with. He knew he’d be beyond screwed if she found out. Ronnie really deserved the Boyfriend of The Year Award. 

If she broke up with him, Ronnie knew he would be even more upset than when Ronald left. Well, Ronnie wasn’t that sad when he left. More relieved than upset. Maybe he did love Jennifer. He certainly cared more about her than his father. Pleased with his answer, Ronnie leaned back into the couch pillow and waited for his mother to come home.

Notes:

feeling blessed and thankful I'm not fifteen anymore

Chapter 8: Dad, Daddy, Papa, Father (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Mary takes the kids skiing for Ronnie's birthday before into a familiar face

Notes:

one of the great things about ao3 is that no one cares about how long your work is

 

CW: References to past child abuse

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: Dad, Daddy, Papa, Father

 

Tuesday, February 1st, 1966



“Since today is Ronnie’s birthday and we can’t have a big party, I wanted to make it up to you,” Mary said to her two oldest children. 

“What are we gonna do?” Beth asked eagerly.

“It’s my birthday, not yours,” Ronnie murmured under his breath. 

“It’s nearly a year since we last skied together so I was thinking of heading up to Colorado this weekend and skiing Saturday and Sunday. We’ll come back Monday. And don’t worry about work Ronnie, I called Mr. Tran earlier and let him know that we’re taking a vacation.”

Beth jumped up in the air. “Yes! Thank you thank you thank you, Mom!” 

Beth hurried over to her mother and hugged her.

Beth let go of Mary and ran up the stairs. “I’m gonna go get started packing,” she called out.

Mary laughed and glanced at Ronnie, who was watching Beth’s antics. “C’mon let’s go see if the ski clothes still fit you and your sister,” Mary said, standing up from her chair.

“Yeah, let’s hope so,” Ronnie replied, following his mother into her room. 

They left as soon as Beth got home from school. Ronnie, who was always eager to get out of Ridge's Creek, packed for himself, Shannon, and all the skiing gear. Mary was impressed and thanked him for doing that, but Ronnie just told her he really REALLY enjoyed getting out of town. She wasn’t as impressed after that.

The drive to Blue Bear Ski Resort was about nine hours from Ridge's Creek. They had been going there since Ronnie could remember. It was the place where he and Beth learned to ski. Mary herself had learned to ski there as well since Ireland doesn’t have ski resorts. It was expensive, and Ronnie often wondered how the hell they were able to go at least once a year. 

Skiing had been the one thing he and his father had in common. During skiing trips, Ronnie thought it would be the closest thing he would have to a father. Because of that, skiing meant a lot to Ronnie, and he was really grateful that his mother was taking him for his 16th birthday.

Hitting 16 was a pretty big milestone for him. He could get his driver’s license and start saving up for a car. Ronnie personally wanted a truck and in the Midwest, they were more practical to have than a car. Easier to find too. Mary had already taught him how to drive during the summer, and Ronnie was looking forward to getting his license. One step closer to freedom. 

The drive wasn’t that bad. The scenery was nice to look at and Shannon slept the whole time, so no one had to deal with a screaming toddler. But the best part about the trip for Ronnie was not going to church on Sunday. He hated having to sit still and listen to the long boring sermons the priest gave. 

Whenever he complained about it, Mary would just tell him that when she was younger, the Mass was far longer and she would get the belt if she moved too much. It was annoying, but it also made Ronnie thankful that he didn’t grow up in Ireland or was born in the 1920s. 

They arrived at the ski resort around one in the morning. Both girls were passed out in the back, but Ronnie had to stay up and hold the map while his mother drove. He didn’t know who would pass out first, him or his mother. 

Turns out Mary fell asleep as soon as she hit the pillow. Ronnie was impressed since she was sharing a bed with Shannon AND Beth. Ronnie was very grateful to be the only boy, and not share a bed. Sharing a room didn’t really make it any better though. Both Mary and Shannon snored, and it kept Ronnie up until 3 when he finally passed out.

Sadly, Ronnie only got four hours of sleep before his mother woke him up to start the day. Beth, who was chirpy as ever, was bouncing around the hotel room already fully dressed in her ski gear minus boots, skis, and poles. Ronnie decided he wanted to die when he opened his eyes.

“C’mon, square head! Get up so we can go out and ski!” Beth practically yelled into his ear. 

“Please shut up before I decide to kill you,” Ronnie murmured, his head under his pillow.

“Ronald, don’t say stuff like that, I don’t care if you’re joking,” Mary reprimanded across the room, changing Shannon. 

“Who said I was kidding,” Ronnie retorted, but quietly so no one could hear him.

After dropping off Shannon at the daycare, the trio went to rent skis and boots. Mary already owned a pair of ski boots, so they only had to rent two pairs. As Beth and Ronnie put on the rented gear, Mary went to go buy lift tickets.

“When was the last time we went skiing?” Beth asked, shoving on her left ski boot.

“Uh, I think spring break last year,” Ronnie answered, buckling his boots.

“So a year right? Wow, it feels longer.”

“That’s because the last few months of the year were very, very long,” Ronnie muttered.

Beth frowned. “Yes, they were.”

Ronnie turned to see Mary coming back. She was clutching some slips in her hand and had a big grin on her face. 

“Okay, so here are the lift tickets. Attach them to your jacket and we can go have some fun,” Mary told her children, handing both of them a ticket. 

“Let’s go!” Beth cheered gleefully after putting on her skis and shuffling her way toward the nearest ski lift. 

“Better catch up with her,” Ronnie said to Mary.

“Yes, we should, mo grá,” Mary replied. 

Ronnie hadn’t had real fun in so long he'd forgotten what it felt like. He thought going down a mountain fast with the cold wind blowing in your face, nipping at the places on your face that weren’t covered up, and snow blowing at your feet was the greatest feeling in the world and hardly anything could come close to it. The sense of freedom blowing in your ears so loudly it’s the only thing you can hear or feel, Ronnie wouldn’t trade anything for it. 

Following lunch, Mary went to pick up Shannon around 1:45, leaving Ronnie and Beth alone. They both practically knew the resort off the back of their hand, so Mary was fine with them skiing on their own. 

“Ronnie, Beth, I’m going to go to get your sister. You two can ski a bit longer, but I want both of you to meet me down here around 2:30 latest,” Mary told them before leaving. “Keep an eye on your watch.”

“Is Mom willingly letting us ski by ourselves?” Beth asked Ronnie as soon as Mary left.

Ronnie grinned. “Yes, yes she is.” He patted Beth’s shoulder. “C’mon, let's go down that trail I was talking about earlier, Timberhorn, the one she didn’t want to do.” 

Ronnie didn’t know why she didn’t want to go down the Timberhorn trail, it was probably the best part of the whole resort. It was long, had nice hills, and the scenery was gorgeous. Sure, it started nearly on top of the mountain, but if anything, Ronnie thought it made it even better.  

There was hardly anyone using it, so most times it was just Ronnie and Beth. Other than the two of them, there was probably only one other person using it. The man was only a little bit ahead of them but he acted like they didn’t exist and Ronnie knew he and Beth were being loud and annoying, so he felt kind of bad. Suddenly the man stopped about a yard away and took his mask off. A pit in Ronnie’s stomach dropped, he suddenly didn’t feel so bad anymore. 

He stopped skiing and stared in horror. Beth caught up to him and stopped too. 

“Why did you stop?” Beth asked, annoyed. She turned to look at the man and her jaw dropped open. “Oh,” Beth said as she looked into the face of her father. 

Ronald McKittrick Sr. stood downhill. He looked at his children and gave an evil-looking smirk. 

“Hello my son and daughter, how are you?” Ronald asked, cocking his head. 

“Go to fucking hell,” Ronnie retorted.

Ronald shook his head. “My, my someone’s got a mouth. You probably should get beaten for that, especially since you said to your father.”

Ronnie spat at him. Beth gasped. 

“As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a father since my real one tried to choke me to death.”

“You think I was trying to kill you? No, maybe to an inch of your life, but it’d teach you a lesson.”

Ronnie raised a brow. “And what’s that, my dear Father?”

“Watch your damn mouth.” Ronald then turned his attention to Beth, who had stopped right behind Ronnie. “Beth, my baby girl, Daddy’s missed you.”

Beth peeked her head out from behind her brother. “You-you hurt Mom and you hurt Ronnie and you-you hurt me when you left, but-but now I’m glad you did. You-you’re a terrible person,” Beth stuttered out, obviously trying not to cry.

Ronnie glanced at his sister who was now shaking. The cold probably didn’t help her nerves either. Ronnie smiled at her and turned back to his father. 

“You’re a dick and I’m ashamed to share your name. Mom’s here and I’ll god damn tell her you’re here. She’s working her ass off to pay the bills and you’re just enjoying yourself here? You haven’t signed the divorce papers yet so we can’t get child support from you, and as much as I would hate having your dirty money, we need it, so why don’t you for once take some responsibility and sign the fucking papers,” Ronnie said to his father, for once without fear.

Ronald just laughed. “How are you gonna make me do that?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Easy. I get Mom to find you and she can bring the police too because missing court is technically illegal, Dad, so you better haul ass back to your hotel room and leave.”

Ronald’s smirk faded into a stressed frown. He started muttering to himself and then looked at Ronnie with pure anger. Ronnie decided this would be the best time to ski down as fast as he could. Ronald had taken off his skis so both he and Beth could make plenty of distance before he started skiing after them. 

“Beth,” Ronnie whispered. “When I say go, we are going to go down this mountain as fast as we can and find Mom, okay?”

Beth nodded quietly and positioned herself. 

“You son of a bitch, I’m still your father, how dare you speak to me like that, did all those beatings not do anything?” Ronald roared, starting to walk uphill toward them.

“Go!” Ronnie shouted and he and Beth took off racing. 

Ronnie didn’t stop until he got down to the bottom of the mountain. He weaved his way through people and the snowdrifts trying to get down as fast as he could. 

Panting, he turned around to see Beth coming in right behind him. He took off his skis and helped Beth get hers off since she was crying too hard to do it herself. 

Mary spotted them from the restaurant above and came down to meet them, holding Shannon, who was wearing a pretty little puffy blue jacket. 

“You guys are a little early-,” she stopped and looked at her children’s faces and her eyebrows knitted in worry. “What happened?” She asked.

Beth hugged Mary tightly and cried into her jacket. Mary glanced at Ronnie hoping for some answers.

“Dad’s here.”

Mary’s face stiffened and the worried look was replaced by an angry one. A very angry one. She stepped back and looked at the two of them with a stern look. 

“I want both of you to return your ski boots, poles, and skis right now, and when you’re done head back to the hotel room. Ronnie, use the extra key I gave you to let yourself in. Beth, take Shannon and Ronnie can carry your skis and poles.

DO NOT let anyone in. If you hear a knocking, ignore it. You’ll know it’ll be me because I have a key and I can let myself in. I made sandwiches yesterday before we left and you can have that for dinner. `There’s some food for Shannon, it’s labeled with her name. Understand?”

Ronnie and Beth both nodded. Mary gave Shannon to Beth and walked towards the main ski lift. 

“C’mon let’s go,” Ronnie said, trying to muster a smile but he couldn’t. The encounter had left him shaken, but he knew he couldn’t react now, he had his two sisters and mother depending on him. 

After dropping off the equipment, they went to the hotel room and Ronnie locked the door after all three of them were inside. Ronnie turned on the TV to distract himself and Beth. 

Beth sat on the bed quietly looking down at the floor.

Ronnie glanced at her. “Hey, I know that was nerve-racking, but you’re gonna be okay. And that was pretty brave what you said to him ya know that?”

Beth looked up. “Really?”

Ronnie nodded. “Really.”

Beth seemed to calm down a little bit and even did a little dance to make Shannon laugh and eat. After eating around 6, Ronnie bathed Shannon and put on the radio to some classical music to help her fall asleep.

The music knocked out Beth too. By 8, both of them were passed out in bed. Ronnie was sleepy too, as skiing always made him tired, but he knew he should probably stay up until Mary got back. He showered instead and tried to read, but his head was swarming with too many thoughts to read straight. He ended up just sitting on his bed watching the door, waiting for it to open.

Mary didn’t get back until 10. Ronnie watched the door unlock, and he tensed, but relaxed when he saw his mother. Her hands were shaking and her hair, usually curled at the ends, was all messy and frizzy. She didn’t say anything and just sat down next to Ronnie. 

After nearly 5 minutes of silence, she spoke. 

“He’ll sign the papers and start paying child support.”

Ronnie looked at his mother. Her face was red and the lines under her eyes were purple, but Ronnie thought she looked beautiful. 

“Good,” Ronnie replied. “Good.”

Notes:

good riddance

Chapter 9: Breakups and Screw-Ups (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie takes advantage of being home alone which leads to disaster

Notes:

i fucking hate formatting on this hellsite <3 why can't they add tabs :((((

CW: Underage drinking/smoking

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Breakups and Screw-Ups

 

Late February 1966



Surprisingly, Ronald maintained his promise and two weeks later, the monthly child support check was in the mail. Mary celebrated by taking the family out to a steakhouse two towns over. Ronnie hadn’t had steak in so long he had forgotten how wonderful it smelled and how juicy it was. It was truly a great night to be eating steak.

Mary decided to treat herself further and visit Eileen, her sister in Kansas City. Ronnie didn’t want to go because Aunt Eileen’s house smelled like cabbages, and she had the habit of pinching people’s cheeks. Ronnie did not want his cheeks to be pinched. 

Fortunately, Mary let him stay because he had work and tests in class. Normally, he hated Miss Warren with a burning passion, but he was grateful she had assigned a test on one of the days they would have been in Kansas City. 

So that meant for the next four (five including today) days, Ronnie was home alone. He didn’t know if someone UpStairs had decided to let him have a taste of freedom, but he was grateful. So grateful that he promised himself he’d actually pay attention at Mass next Sunday.

“Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do if I wasn’t home, and please, do the dishes. Here are 20 dollars in case you need something over the next four days. If there’s an emergency you can go to Laurence’s or Mrs. Williams’. You have friends over, but no more than five, and they cannot stay later than 9:30, understand me, young man?” Mary asked, staring into the depths of Ronnie’s soul.

“Yes ma’am,” Ronnie replied, giving her a salute. 

Mary chuckled lightly and glanced at Beth who was at the front door holding Shannon’s hand and carrying a suitcase in the other hand.

“Can we go now?” Beth asked impatiently.

Mary turned back to Ronnie. “Now I know you won’t go to church tomorrow since you don’t have your license or a car, but please at least read the passages in the bible.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Ronnie promised even though he knew damn well that he wasn’t. 

Mary kissed Ronnie’s head and walked towards Beth who was growing more and more impatient by the second. 

“Bye,” Ronnie called as they walked out the door.

He waited until Mary locked the front to run to the refrigerator and pull out a beer. “Freedom, at last,” he said, opening the can and taking a sip. 

He smirked. This was going to be fun.

The first thing Ronnie did was phone up Laurie and Jennifer and invite them over. Laurie showed up after 20 minutes and was greeted by Ronnie drinking a beer.

“Is that beer, man?” Laurie asked, staring in amazement. 

“Why yes, yes it is. Want some?”

Laurie stepped into the house. “Won’t your mom notice?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Nah, she doesn’t drink beer, this is leftovers from my shit hole father.”

Laurie went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer for himself. “Cheers to leftovers from shit hole fathers.”

Ronnie raised his can. “Cheers.” 

Laurie sat on the couch. “So, you said you invited Jennifer too, where is she?”

The doorbell rang. 

“Outside my door.” Ronnie walked to the door and opened it, revealing Jennifer.  

“Hey,” she said, smiling. 

“Hey.”

She stepped inside. “Oh hi, Laurie-oh, is that beer?” 

Laurie took a sip from his beer and nodded. “Yep.”

She looked back at Ronnie who was also sipping from a beer can. “You too?”

“Want one?” Ronnie asked

Jennifer made a face. “No.”

“Okay,” Ronnie muttered sitting down next to Laurie.

Jennifer then pursed her lips and glanced at the fridge. “Oh fuck it, one won’t hurt,” she murmured going to the refrigerator and pulling one out. 

“Never heard you swear before,” Laurie said, taking another sip and burping.

Jennifer made a disgusted face. “Gross.” 

Laurie smiled at her. 

Ronnie clapped his hands together after setting his now empty beer can on the coffee table. “So, what do you guys wanna do now?”

“Can we use the tire swing outside?” Laurie asked. 

The next thing Ronnie knew, he was pushing Jennifer on the swing while Laurie tried to climb the tree. He had only made it to the branch where the swing was tied and decided just to sit there and watch the lovebirds. 

“WHEEE!” Jennifer called out in glee as Ronnie pushed her higher and higher into the air. “I feel like a little kid again,” she told Laurie, who was staring at her in judgment. 

“Ronnie, can you push me on the swing next?” Laurie asked, making a pouty face.

Ronnie looked up at where Laurie was sitting. “No.” 

“You’re mean.”

“Yeah, I know.” 

For dinner, Ronnie ordered two boxes of pizza for the trio. Laurie ate like five slices, while Jennifer only ate three. But that was nothing compared to Ronnie, he ate all eight slices. Jennifer and Laurie stared at him in disgust and amazement. 

“How the fuck are you not fat?” Laurie asked after Ronnie finished eating. 

Ronnie shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“I feel sick just watching you eat,” Jennifer muttered, wiping her face with a napkin. 

“Well, I’m full, so you guys wanna come to my room?” Ronnie said, giving a loud belch.

Jennifer looked at him disgusted.

“Excuse me,” he muttered as he stood up. “C’mon, I got some cool shit in my room.”

 Laurie and Jennifer followed him up the stairs and into his room where he pulled out his box of cigarettes and shook it. 

“Want one?”

Laurie, who only smoked whenever Ronnie gave him some or when he wanted to look cool around a girl, took one. Jennifer just stared at them with a look on her face.

“Smoking’s bad for you, you know,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Your dad smokes cigars,” Ronnie replied, lighting Laurie’s cigarette. 

Jennifer pursed her lips. “Well, he’s an adult.”

“I’m 16.”

“So?”

“Just saying.”

“Are you trying to pressure me?”

“No, I’m just asking if you want one.”

Jennifer glanced at the box and back at Ronnie. “Just this once,” she muttered, taking one from him. 

Ronnie lit her cigarette and she inhaled the smoke. She immediately gagged and took it out coughing. 

“On second thought, maybe not.” She gave the cigarette back to Ronnie who just stuck it in his mouth since he hadn’t lit one for himself yet. 

“So Laurie,” he said, opening the window and letting the cold February air in. “How’s the love life?”

Laurie sighed and took the cigarette out of his mouth. “Imogene broke up with me. Again.”

Ronnie laughed loudly while Jennifer snickered quietly.

Laurie groaned. “Shut up.” 

“What’s the reason this time?” Jennifer asked, smiling.

“She thinks that we break up too much,” Laurie said.

“So the solution to that is to break up again?” Ronnie asked, blowing smoke from his nostrils.

“Don’t ask me, I dunno. I think I might finally move on though.”

Ronnie sighed in relief. “Oh thank Jesus, I hate her so much.”

Laurie glared at him. 

“But uh Grace, your friend,” he said pointing at Jennifer who nodded. “She’s real pretty, so I think I might ask her out.

Ronnie looked down at the floor and felt his face get hot when they mentioned her name. He prayed Jennifer didn’t notice.

“Grace’s my friend and all, but honestly I think she doesn’t date people, she uh only uh does... you know what,” Jennifer said, her face turning red too. 

“Let’s see what happens,” Laurie replied curtly.

Laurie left at 7:15 after his mother called the house asking for him, leaving Jennifer and Ronnie alone. 

Ronnie hoped that they could get some private time together, but when he started to kiss her, she pushed him away.

“The window’s still open and it’s cold in here,” she said, rubbing her arms. 

Ronnie closed the door and turned back to her. “How about now?” He asked.

Jennifer just looked disappointed. “What makes you think I’d kiss you especially since you did a little more than that with Grace?”

Ronnie looked down at the floor, ashamed. “How’d you know?”

Jennifer laughed without humor. “She fucking told me. We got into an argument and she told me to make me mad. She bragged to my face that she made out with my boyfriend, the hotshot football player.”

“I was-was forced, she made me, and I didn’t want it. I thought she wanted help with math homework, I didn’t know her parents weren’t gonna be home, and I tried to leave but she-she just kissed me and next thing I know she’s shirtless.”

“You saw her fucking tits?!” Jennifer yelled angrily. 

“No! She was in her bra and I left as soon as she took off her shirt, Jennifer I-I love you and-and I know I’m a terrible person, and I’m a dick, but you’re one of the best things in my life-no, you are the best thing in my life and I didn’t know what she wanted until I got there, and I know I am definitely in love with you. You mean so much to me. Please, I’m sorry,” Ronnie said, his voice hoarse.

Jennifer just stared at him. Tears were falling down her face. Ronnie had never seen her cry before. 

“Please,” he begged.

Jennifer wiped the tears off her face and took a deep breath. “I think we should take a break,” she said, struggling to sound monotone.

“What? No, please.”

Jennifer left the room and Ronnie followed her.

“Jennifer.”

She went down the stairs and went to the kitchen.

“Jennifer!”

She picked up her shoes and put them on.

“JENNIFER!”

She opened the front door and slammed it on Ronnie’s face.

“Jen,” he said a fourth time, his voice faint and choked up. 

Ronnie could feel tears starting to pool up in his eyes but he wiped them before they could even think about falling. He collapsed on the couch and buried his face in his hands. What had he done?

Notes:

yeah he deserved that

Chapter 10: Teenage Birthday Parties Among Forgiveness (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

Beth throws a birthday party, Ronnie drowns in his misery without Jennifer

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Teenage Birthday Parties Among Forgiveness

 

Saturday, April 9th, 1966

 

 

The last two months had been the worst two months of Ronnie’s life. Jennifer refused to talk to him and wouldn’t even make eye contact when they passed each other in the hall. Laurie and Imogene had gotten back together (again), and they were both very keen on spending time together. 

Sure, Ronnie had other friends, and there were plenty of other girls interested in him, but he didn’t care, he just wanted Jennifer back. At this point he was desperate, he’d probably do anything to win her back. And by anything, Ronnie meant anything and everything.

Beth’s birthday was coming and she and Mary were planning to have a sleepover the weekend before her actual birthday since this year it fell on a Tuesday. Ronnie was not looking forward to being stuck with a bunch of 13 and 12 year old girls for a weekend. He had met most of Beth’s friends and he thought most of them were like her: Loud, annoying, and obnoxious. 

On the Saturday of the sleepover party, Ronnie was informed that everyone who had been invited had confirmed that they were all coming. Ronnie thought he’d die from a heart attack on the spot.

“All 9 of them?” Ronnie asked his mother.

Mary nodded. “Yes sweetie, all 9 of them. Don’t give me that look. This is Beth’s 13th birthday, and I want to make it special. I promise none of them will even touch your room okay?”

Ronnie sighed. “Okay, but if you plan to have a sleepover with 3 and 4 year olds for Shannon’s birthday, I am running away to Wyoming.”

Mary laughed. “Okay, I promise.”

The girls started arriving around noon. At first, it was just Carrie and Delilah, but then all of a sudden Ronnie found himself surrounded. He thought he was gonna die after they all started singing Beatles songs. Well, except for Delilah, she had good taste. He decided when this was all over, he was gonna throw out his Beatles record or give it away. 

While they were all seated on the couch watching Cinderella, Mary pulled Ronnie aside.

“This is a lot to ask, but can Shannon sleep in your room tonight? There’s not enough room for all the girls to sleep in Beth’s room, so I’m gonna put some of them in Shannon’s room and whenever I have Shannon in my bed, she kicks me and I can’t sleep. We can move her bed into your room and when all the girls leave on Sunday, we’ll put it back.”

Ronnie sighed. “Sure since she won’t sleep in my bed.”

So together, they carried Shannon’s bed into Ronnie’s room and set it next to his desk. After setting it down Mary sniffed the air and looked at Ronnie.

“Why does it smell like lemon cleaner in here?” 

Ronnie scratched his head. Shit, he thought. 

“Uh... I spilled some on my chair while trying to clean up the pop I spilled.”

Mary shook her head. “That is why we don’t have food up here. It smells so strong in here.”

“Yeah I know,” Ronnie muttered as she walked out of the room. 

Eventually, Ronnie decided if he didn’t get out of the house soon, he’d probably kill someone who started singing A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes one more time. He left the house on his bike and told Mary that he’d be back before 7. He’d miss cake and pizza but he could always eat leftovers. Nothing’s better than cold pizza at 3 in the morning.

Ronnie first thought maybe Mr. Tran would need some help and it would give Ronnie something to do, but when he dropped by The Lotus Flower, Mrs. Tran, Mr. Tran’s wife, told him that they didn’t need extra help today but thanked him for the offer.

“Thank you for your offer Ronnie, but we don’t need any help today, I’ll tell my husband you dropped by though,” she said kindly, but there was a tone of annoyance in her voice as well. 

Ronnie grumbled to himself as he exited the restaurant and hopped back on his bike. They probably didn’t want to pay him extra. Ronnie also noticed that it wasn’t that busy anyway, so Mr. Tran would have made him work on Vietnamese phonetics, which Ronnie tremendously resented. 

He ended up going where he always went when he was bored: The old oak tree off the main highway. The one where he had carved his and Jennifer’s initials so many months before.

He hid his bike in the tall yellow prairie grass and started his way down the path toward the tree. The actual path itself was just dead grass, trampled and flattened from years of being stepped on. If you kept walking past the tree and west, near the lake, you’d reach an old farm that had burned down during The Dust Bowl, but teenagers used it for privacy among other things.

As he got closer, he realized there was someone else at the large oak. It wasn’t uncommon to find someone else there. It wasn’t like only Ronnie and a few select others knew about it, and if they did, there would be no path leading toward it. 

When he got close enough to the tree to recognize the person, he realized it was Jennifer. He stopped walking and stared at her. He wasn’t close enough to get a good look at her face, but she was wearing one of Pamela’s easily recognizable shirts, and Jennifer was far shorter than her sister. 

Ronnie started walking faster until he reached the foot of the hill where the tree was nestled. Jennifer glanced down at him but didn’t say anything. Ronnie walked up the hill and stopped when he and Jennifer were standing face to face. 

“Hey,” Ronnie said quietly.

Jennifer didn’t reply and just stared at him.

“How are you?” Ronnie asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Jennifer didn’t say anything again but fixed her gaze on the trunk of the tree, where their initials were raggedly carved out. Ronnie turned to look at them as well.

The exposed wood had aged over time and now it looked as old as any of the other initials also carved on the tree. It had only been 8 months since Ronnie had taken his knife and put their initials in the tree, but it felt so much longer. So much had happened afterward, it seemed like it was a whole other time. 

Ronnie looked back at Jennifer and sighed deeply before starting to speak. “I got shit from my dad when we first started dating but, I didn’t care, I thought you were gorgeous. You still are and if anything, even more so. Jennifer, I know I don’t deserve you, but the last two months have been plain horrible without you, and I don’t know if I can do the rest of the school year like that. If we’re being honest, I didn’t know if I loved you or not, and I struggled with that. I think I’ve been fake around you at times and a complete asshole who doesn’t respect your ideas.” 

He paused and took a breath before continuing.

“Now, I know I most definitely love you, and you being in my life has been really good for me. I think I’m somewhat of a nicer person, and I don't do a lot of the stuff I used to say and do because you told me it was wrong and flat out explained why. You’ve always been there for me, and I just fucked everything up.

I would do anything for you to forgive me. You don’t have to take me back, I don’t think I deserve that, but I still wanna be friends with you, okay?” Ronnie spoke, choking on his words near the end and tearing up.

“Ronnie, please calm down, you're gonna give me an asthma attack with all that heavy breathing.”

Ronnie smiled and took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

Jennifer tucked her hair behind her ear, something she did when she was nervous. “You really mean that?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

“Like you would do anything?”

“Anything.”

“Ronnie, I-I didn’t know you felt that way. That means a lot to me,” she said gently, coming up closer to him.

“Can you ever forgive me?” Ronnie asked.

Jennifer pursed her lips. Instead of speaking, she hugged him. Ronnie wrapped his arms around her body and buried his face into her neck. She smelled like rose water. 

Jennifer let go first and stepped back. Her gentle face turned stern. “I swear on my mother’s life, Ronald, if you ever do anything like that again, I’ll fucking gut you.”

Ronnie raised his hands. “I swear I won’t even look at another girl.”

Jennifer’s stern look melted into a laugh. 

“So,” Ronnie said, scratching his arm. “Can I kiss you?”

Jennifer snorted. “Honey, you got a long way before I let you kiss me.”

Ronnie sighed. “I deserve that.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Well, can I at least invite you over to my house? Beth’s having a party, and I’ll die if I’m going to be surrounded by a bunch of 12 and 13 year old girls. There’s gonna be cake and pizza.”

“Cake and pizza sound nice.”

“Please?” 

Jennifer flashed him a large grin “Since you asked so nicely,” she said, holding out her hand.

“What’s that for,” Ronnie said, oblivious.

“Holding my hand dumbass,” Jennifer replied. 

“Oh, I didn’t think I was ready for that yet,” He said, taking her hand. 

“Lead me to the food, McKittrick,” Jennifer ordered

“Yes, ma’am,” Ronnie replied, taking her down the hill and towards the main highway and eventually, his house.

Notes:

i too would do anything for jennifer's forgiveness

Chapter 11: Summer Again (Vol I, Part I)

Summary:

The school year has ended, and everyone is looking forward for the summer

 

last chapter of part one!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: Summer Again

 

Friday, June 3rd, 1966

 

 

After nine long months of pure torture, lying, girls, and drama, it was finally Ronnie’s last day of sophomore year, and boy, was he looking forward to ending it. No more Miss Warren, no more chemistry with Mrs. Fueller, and the best part: Grace was moving away so he’d never see that skank again either.

Ronnie planned to make today a memorable one or so he told Laurie on the bus that morning. 

“You’re gonna do something stupid aren’t you?” Laurie said after Ronnie told him that.

Ronnie just smiled and said, “Yeah most likely.”

Laurie groaned. “It’s a pure miracle you haven’t been expelled or sent to prison.”

During chemistry, Ronnie set a few blank sheets of paper on fire with his lighter when Mrs. Fueller wasn’t looking, causing the whole school to have to evacuate outside. He overheard that a few more things other than the papers had also caught on fire, but the classroom wasn’t burnt.

“How’s that for something memorable on the last day of school?” Ronnie asked Laurie during lunch.

“You know how screwed you’re gonna be if they find out it was you,” Laurie replied, taking a bite of his sandwich. 

“They’ll probably blame James Craig, he’s the resident arsonist here and in my class, I’ll be fine.”

Laurie rolled his eyes. “You’re insane.”

Ronnie just flashed him a grin.

On the way to English, Laurie asked if he was gonna do anything stupid or dangerous in English.

Ronnie shook his head “Nah, I’ll probably just swear at her. They’d get suspicious if something magically appeared on fire again and James Craig isn’t in our English class.”

Laurie scoffed. “You’re not insane, you’re bat shit insane.”

“Oh stop giving me compliments, you’re boosting my ego.”

“If it inflated anymore, it’d pop.”

“That’s probably true.”

Laurie glowered at him.

Ronnie gave him another cocky smile. “You know you love me.”

Laurie sighed. “Sadly, I know I do.”

They walked into English and waited for Miss Warren AKA the heinous bitch to come in and start the class. 

Ronnie tapped on Laurie’s shoulder to get his attention. Laurie turned around.

“What?” he asked.

“I forgot to tell you, but I got a surprise.”

Laurie rolled his eyes. “What?”

Ronnie pulled out his wallet and opened it, revealing a driver’s license. 

Laurie looked shocked. He then looked back at Ronnie and gave him a confused face. “How the fuck did you forget to tell me that you got your driver’s license?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Dunno, too busy setting papers on fire. Anyway, I took the test two weeks ago, and it came in the mail yesterday.”

“I don’t know if you getting a driver’s license is a good thing or a bad thing.”

“Good for us, bad for drivers.”

Laurie rubbed his eye. “God, I feel sorry for them.”

“Thanks for the encouragement, Alders,” Ronnie muttered as Miss Warren walked into the class.

“Hello, sorry I’m late,” she said out of breath. Ronnie wondered why she had been running.

She first explained that she would not be teaching here next year and was moving to Colorado. There were a couple of “Oh no, we’ll miss yous” but the class remained mostly silent. Nobody really liked her. Even if she had nothing to do with Ronnie’s father, he still wouldn’t have liked her. She was annoying and a heinous bitch.

Ronnie didn’t even come up with the nickname “heinous bitch”. Her homeroom started calling her that behind her back and it spread like a wildfire. Ronnie wondered if she knew about it.

Luckily, the last days of semesters were always half days, so instead of 50 minutes of torture, it was only 25. The bell rang, and everyone rushed out of the class except Ronnie, who had a few things to say to the heinous bitch. 

Miss Warren scowled when she saw Ronnie still sitting in his seat. “What?” she asked harshly.

Ronnie stood up from his seat. “I hope you go to fucking hell, you heinous bitch.”

Miss Warren laughed without humor. “Thank God I’m leaving this shit hole town.” She smirked. “I’ll tell your father you said hello.”

“Actually if you could tell him that I said fuck you, I’d hate you significantly less.”

Miss Warren glared at him with hatred. “I’m still an adult, you should treat me with respect, not indifference.”

Ronnie didn’t say anything and just flipped her off before smugly walking out of the class.

Laurie was waiting outside the classroom door. “Are you done?”

Ronnie nodded. “I am now.”

As they walked down the hallway together, Ronnie screamed, “GOODBYE, HEINOUS BITCH!”

Over half of the people in the hallway started laughing. The rest just stared at him in judgment. Ronnie didn’t care, he was so thankful to never have to see that woman ever again. 

Mr. Tran had let him have the day off since it was the last day of school, so Ronnie went home on the bus.

“So, what are we gonna do this summer?” Laurie asked.

“I don’t know, I just know it’s definitely gonna be different than last summer.”

Laurie nodded. “You can say that again.”

“I mean I got my license, so we can basically go anywhere, and Mom said she’d let me borrow the car when she wasn’t using it anytime if I got good grades, which I did so...”

“We could go down to my Uncle Bob’s cabin in Oklahoma. There’s a lake nearby and he has a boat.”

“Really? You’re sure he’d let us use it?”

Laurie nodded. “He said I’m welcome to use it anytime I want and I can bring friends, as long as my mom’s there or some other adult.”

“Aww man, so close to being the perfect deal,” Ronnie said, frowning.

“Well, I was 13 when he said that, and I turn 16 in 16 days so I don’t think he’d mind now.”

Ronnie looked at Laurie. “Can he be my uncle?”

Laurie laughed. “I’ll ask next time I see him.” 

 

***

 

“I can’t believe we’re going to 8th grade next year. Can you believe it?” Carrie asked Beth and Delilah.

Beth shook her head. “Nope.”

“I can’t either,” Delilah replied.

They were waiting for the buses to show up and ferry them home. Carrie and Delilah lived more southeast of the school while Beth lived more west, so they took different buses home. Beth wished they all had the same bus as Ronnie did with his best friend Laurie, but that was not the case. 

“I’m glad 7th grade is over. It’s been a long and horrible year,” Beth told her friends.

Carrie nodded. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to the summer too. Are you guys gonna do anything?”

“I know that my parents, my sister, and I are visiting my grandparents in California in July, and we might go to Disney Land too, but my parents haven’t confirmed it yet,” Delilah said.

Beth shrugged. “I don’t know actually. Mom hasn’t made any plans, as far as I know, so we’ll probably be here all summer. How about you?”

Carrie grinned. “We’re going to Canada.”

“That’s cool, I wish I could go to another country,” Beth muttered, clearly envious.

Delilah frowned. “Me too.”

Carrie lowered her voice. “Well, we’re going to see Curtis and go sightseeing but don’t tell anyone the first part.”

“I won’t,” Beth promised. 

“I won’t, I promise,” Delilah said.

At that moment, the buses started rolling up into the junior high. Carrie, Delilah, and Beth all hugged each other and said goodbye before getting on their bus while Beth got on her bus. Beth stared out the window listening to background noise the whole ride home.

Beth opened the front door expecting to be home alone but found Ronnie, Shannon, and Mary sitting at the kitchen table talking.

“What are you guys doing home early?” Beth questioned her family, taking a seat across from her mother.

“Oh I wanted to be home for your last day, so I took off early, and Mr. Tran kindly gave Ronnie the day off,” Mary told her daughter.

“It’s summer!” Shannon exclaimed gleefully.

Beth nodded.

“So, back to what I was saying,” Ronnie said. “What do you think this summer will be like?”

“The best one ever,” Beth promptly replied.

Ronnie glared at her. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Oh,” Beth muttered. 

She hated how bipolar her brother was sometimes. He sometimes comforted her and was super nice and other times, really really mean and sarcastic. Mary told her older siblings are like that, and that she’ll probably be the same to Shannon when she’s older. Beth told her that she would never be as mean as Ronnie. 

“Don’t be rude Ronnie, apologize,” Mary chided.

Ronnie rolled his eyes. 

Mary glared at him.

“Okay fine! Sorry.”

“It’s okay! I forgive you,” Beth said, chirpily.

Ronnie now glared at her. 

Mary noticed the tension between her two oldest and broke in. “Well, I think this summer will definitely be better than the last one, Ronnie.”

Ronnie nodded in agreement.

“You know Mom,” Beth began. “I’m 13 now, and I think I’m really responsible now, so I was thinking maybe I could get a job. I’m a responsible adult and responsible adults have jobs. Well, except Ronnie because he’s not a responsible adult. And he has a job so it would make sense that I should have a job too.”

Ronnie stifled a laugh. “You want a job?” he asked, biting his lip.

Beth nodded. “Yes, yes I do.”

Ronnie looked at Mary and raised a brow for a second before both of them burst out laughing. 

Beth was bewildered. “Why are you guys laughing?” she asked them, but it only made them harder. 

Shannon noticed the commotion and started laughing too since Mary and Ronnie were.

“Why are you guys laughing?” Beth demanded again, this time louder, but she was drowned out in the laughter.

 

 

 

End of Part I

Notes:

setting shit on fire is fun tho

Chapter 12: New Girl (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Beth goes on a date.

 

part two lets go

Notes:

And we begin Part II with a three year time jump and a rating increased to Mature.

CW: Underage sexual references (as in the characters are both under 18)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Part II: The End of a Childhood

May 3rd, 1969 - September 15th, 1969

 

 

Chapter 12: New Girl

 

Saturday, May 3rd, 1969, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



Beth couldn’t believe it had taken 16 years for someone to ask her out. She thought she was attractive. She wasn’t too short and had platinum blonde hair that curled at the ends, which guys seemed to like, but no one had asked her out until Daniel King. She assumed that when she started high school there'd be plenty of guys wanting to take her to the homecoming dance, but she ended up going with Carrie and Delilah. It might have been that Ronnie, her older brother, had warned everyone to stay away from her, and of course everyone listens to the captain of the football team. 

Beth was glad that Ronnie had graduated and worked out of town, she had way more dating freedom because of it. She was also very happy when Ronnie graduated because, for the most part, girls stopped coming up to her to tell her “Oh my god, your brother is so hot” or “Can you tell Ronnie that I said hi?” It was annoying and gross. She had no idea why other girls thought he was so good-looking. 

At that moment, Beth was getting ready for a date. She had her record player playing The Beatles as she did her makeup. Beth liked wearing makeup, but she thought half the girls in her school wore too much and looked like a whore.

She was wearing a yellow dress with white polka dots and to match, white ballet flats. She was only wearing some mascara and a touch of blush and powder since Daniel had told her he liked natural looks. She heard a knock on her door and turned down her music.

“Come in!” She called out.

The door opened to reveal her mother Mary. 

Beth smiled. “Hi, Mom.” 

Mary smiled back. “Hello, darling. I can’t believe you’re going on your first date.”

“Well, actually this is our third date,” Beth corrected.

“Hanging out after school doesn’t count, mo grá,” Mary replied. 

“Fair enough.”

Mary looked at Beth’s dress and sighed. “It’s a beautiful dress but it’s so thin, and your back is so exposed.”

Beth rolled her eyes and picked up her cardigan off her bed. “Don’t worry, I’m wearing this with it.”

Mary raised her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. What time is he supposed to pick you up?” Mary asked, glancing at her wristwatch.

A car horn honked outside.

“Right now,” Beth replied, grabbing her purse and hurrying out of her room and down the stairs.

“Have fun, be safe, and make sure he brings you back home by 9:30,” Mary called out from the top of the staircase. 

“Okay!” Beth replied as she left the front door.

Outside the house on the curb of the road was a red ‘67 Mustang, and inside it, was a boy wearing a black leather jacket. He waved to Beth when he saw her come outside the house.

Beth ran to the other side of the car and got in the passenger seat. Daniel looked at Beth and flashed a grin. 

“Nice outfit.”

Beth blushed. “Thanks.”

Daniel King was a 17 year old in his junior year of high school. He had greasy unkempt dark brown hair, light brown eyes, pale skin, and thick eyebrows. He typically sported a leather jacket and white t-shirt and was really into cars. He had dated plenty of girls before Beth, but she couldn’t care less. He was now hers.

Daniel gunned the car and drove out of her neighborhood and to the drive-in movie theater in the next town over. They were watching Sinful Davey tonight. Beth didn’t really want to see it, but Daniel insisted, saying it’d be fun. 

He bought popcorn, but Beth had eaten it all 15 minutes into the movie. He groaned and complained about it, but when Beth offered to buy some, he shut up. 

Beth didn’t really understand the movie. The plot made no sense. Then again, she and Danny would take “kissing breaks” every so often, which basically was them going to the backseats and making out. 

Beth had never even kissed a guy before Daniel, much less made out with one. She was worried she’d be bad at it, but Daniel told her he didn’t mind too much and thought it was cute. 

“That was a bad movie,” Daniel told Beth as the credits started rolling.

“I don’t remember what happened and I wasn’t paying attention so I can’t say if the movie was bad or not since I don’t know,” Beth replied, adjusting the hem of her dress. 

Daniel watched her silently.

“Can we get dinner, I’m hungry.”

Daniel shook his head. “Nah, I got a better idea.”

Beth cocked a brow. “And what’s that?”

Daniel flashed the same cocky grin Ronnie would give when he said or did something that he knew was wrong. “You’ll see.”

Daniel pulled out of the drive-in and drove away. He drove past Ridge's Creek and kept going until he stopped at a dirt road off the highway and drove onto it. 

“What are you doing?” Beth asked him but he didn’t answer.

Finally, he stopped the car and stretched his arms.

“Why are we in the middle of nowhere?” Beth asked, crossing her arms to show she was annoyed. 

Daniel scoffed. “I’ll show you,” he muttered, leaning close to Beth and kissing her lips.

Oh,” Beth squeaked when he finished.

Daniel moved to the backseat and beckoned Beth to sit with him. Beth climbed into the back of the car and sat next to Daniel. Daniel reached his hand out and tucked her hair behind her ear. Beth’s face turned so red she thought she’d turn into a tomato.

“You know, with all the blushing you’re doing, you might never have to wear blush ever again.”

Beth playfully slapped his arm. “Shut up.”

Daniel pulled Beth in and started kissing her. It was gentle at first, but then he started going for Beth’s tongue. Daniel was clearly an expert kisser, so Beth let him do what he wanted. He wrapped his arms around her lower back, and eventually, she felt him start to trail them lower and lower.

Beth didn’t know how to react, but before she could say anything, Daniel let go of her and took off his jacket, tossing it aside. 

“You wanna have sex?” he asked, reaching for his wallet in the front seat and pulling out a small silvery packet.

Beth was flabbergasted. “No, I’m saving it for marriage.”

Daniel scoffed. “C’mon, it won’t be like another 8 years until you get married, and do you really wanna wait that long?”

“Yes,” Beth replied quietly.

“It’ll feel real good, and it’s not like you're doing it with a stranger. I’m your boyfriend, right?” 

Beth looked at her shoes. She didn’t know what to say. Sure, she sort of wanted to do it. Well, she thought she wanted to but wasn’t that sure. Maybe Daniel was right, might as well get it done and over with right. It wasn’t like Daniel was a stranger.

Beth took off her white cardigan and dropped it on the floor. “Will it hurt?” she asked nervously. 

Daniel shook his head. “Only for the first few seconds,” he replied as he took off his shirt and came up to Beth to kiss her. 

They started kissing again and Beth felt Daniel put his hands on her inner thighs. She gasped lightly but Daniel just laughed. 

 

***

 

“So… what’d you think?” Daniel asked, putting his shirt back on. 

Beth, who was wearing nothing but his jacket, shrugged. “It hurt more than a few seconds.”

“Oh don’t complain, the more you do it, the less it hurts. Just ask anyone in a brothel.”

Beth stifled a laugh. She glanced at her watch and realized she should have been home 10 minutes ago. 

“Uh Daniel, I have to go home,” Beth said, starting to look for her bra and underwear.

Daniel nodded and sighed. “Okay, lemme put on my socks and shoes and we’ll go.”

Beth had never put her clothes on so fast before. She managed to hook her bra in one attempt and by the time Daniel finished putting on his shoes, Beth was already putting back on her cardigan.

“That was fast,” Daniel said, mildly impressed as she climbed into the passenger seat. 

“Let’s just go, we’re already late.”

Daniel started the car and drove away from the dirt road. Luckily, it wasn’t too far from Ridge's Creek, so Beth got home sooner than she thought. Then again, she hardly went out at night so she wasn’t accustomed to what the town looked like during the night.

Daniel pulled up at Beth’s house. “I’ll see you at school, okay?” Daniel told her. 

Beth smiled and nodded. “Bye.”

She got out of the car and watched him drive away. She turned around and walked to the front door. She couldn’t believe that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. She was hesitant at first, and during it, she thought it wasn’t that fun, but now Beth was glad she did it. She didn’t know why it was so bad in her mother’s eyes, but Beth normally didn’t argue with Mary McKittrick and she didn’t want to anyway. 

Beth knocked on the front door and waited for someone to answer. The door opened and Beth looked down to see Shannon.

“Hi, Beth!” She said, giving Beth’s legs and waist a hug.

“Hey Shannon,” Beth replied, patting her black hair. “What are you doing up?”

Shannon let go and looked up at her sister. “Water.”

Beth nodded and stepped inside. Mary was sitting at the table holding a cup of water, which Beth assumed was for Shannon.

“How was it?” Mary asked.

Beth beamed. “It was really nice, Mom.”

Mary smiled. “That’s good to hear sweetie. Now, you should get to bed, we have Mass tomorrow morning.”

Beth nodded. “Good night.”

“Good night, Beth,” Shannon called back.

Beth laughed as she went up the stairs and to her room. She collapsed on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Tonight had been amazing and she couldn’t wait to go on another date with Daniel, but she wasn’t too sure about the “having sex” thing. Once in a while was okay, but if they did it every time, wouldn’t it get old fast? And Daniel had seemed upset when she first said no, would he get mad every time she said no? Beth hoped not.

Beth shrugged. It was probably this just this one time, Daniel was so sweet to her, he wouldn’t do that. Satisfied with her answer, she stood up to take a shower in her and Shannon’s bathroom. She hated having to share a bathroom with a nearly 7 year old, but she guessed it was better than having to share a bathroom with Ronnie.

Beth took off her clothes for a second time tonight and waited for her shower to warm up. She glanced at herself in the mirror. She had bruises beginning to form on her hips, but she couldn’t care less. She smirked and leaned towards her mirror. Her reflection didn’t say anything, but Beth swore that she had seen it wink. 

Notes:

daniel do be a manipulative cunt tho

For Context

Sinful Davey (1969): A real movie, though I haven't seen nor do I plan to. I wanted the movie to be Easy Rider, but it came out in late May

Chapter 13: The Life of a Young Man in the Midwest (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Beth's morning after, and Ronnie runs a few errands before hanging out with Laurie

 

ronnie's a hottie

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 13: The Life of a Young Man in the Midwest



Beth woke to her alarm clock screaming ringing noises. Groaning, she opened her weary eyes and turned off the alarm. Although she hadn’t been sore last night, her legs were killing her now. She rubbed her thigh, feeling where Daniel had touched her the night before. 

She got out of bed and stood up. It hurt to stand, but it wasn’t unbearable, and she didn’t want Mary to know or suspect something obviously, so she would have to keep it to herself. She threw on the cardigan she wore the night before and left the room to have breakfast. 

Mary was making Sunday breakfast which included eggs, bacon, toast with butter and jam, and diced potatoes. Shannon was eating a bowl of oatmeal, and Ronnie, who was also sitting at the table, was drinking what Beth assumed to be coffee from a mug. He glanced up and saw her and gave a little nod in acknowledgment.

Ronnie, who was now 6’4, towered over everyone in the house. Then again, Neither Mary nor Beth were that tall to even begin with. The doctor said Shannon would probably be taller than both of them as an adult since she was the tallest girl in her class. 

After graduating high school, Ronnie chose not to go to college even though he had gotten several offers of scholarships to play football and even a couple for basketball, but even with the scholarships, college still would have been really expensive. He had gotten in major trouble last year anyway, and most (all) of his scholarship opportunities had dropped. He had told Mary he wanted Beth and Shannon to have a better shot at going to college. So, instead, he got a job at a ranch two towns over. He lived there during the week, but he lived at home during the weekends and holidays. 

Beth sat next to her older brother and smiled. “Hey.”

Ronnie set his coffee cup down. “Heard you had a date last night.” He smirked.

“Oh shut up.”

“What’s his name? I wanna meet him.”

Beth gave Ronnie a look. “So you can punch him?”

Ronnie chuckled. “Maybe, maybe not,” he mused. 

Beth scoffed and rolled her eyes. “So,” she began. “Why weren’t you home yesterday, Thursday, and Friday night? Mom said you were doing something, but she didn’t say what.”

Ronnie smiled. “I was in Detroit with Jennifer, we went to see The Jimi Hendrix Experience. I got home around 11 last night.”

Beth gasped. “You saw Jimi Hendrix!? No fair! This is like the time Carrie saw The Beatles without me.”

Ronnie shrugged. “Didn’t know you liked him.”

“I don’t that much, but he’s real popular right now.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes.

“Well, how was it?”

Ronnie grinned. “It was real fun. Best concert I’ve ever been to. Jennifer and me had pit tickets and since we showed up like a day early, we got really close to the stage.”

“You’re so lucky,” Beth muttered, full of envy.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, taking out a napkin with black writing on it. “Went to a bar afterward, and we saw them drinking at a booth. Stared at them long enough for one of them to notice us and next I know, I’m drinking with fucking Jimi Hendrix.”

“Ronald, watch your mouth,” Mary called out from the kitchen.

“Sorry,” Ronnie called back, but he didn’t look like he was.

“Anyway, I got autographs from all of them. Jennifer had him sign her boobs.” Ronnie laughed.

Beth’s mouth dropped. “You met him AND had drinks with him?”

Ronnie nodded.

At that moment, Beth decided the world hated her and favored her brother. Mary came in, carrying a plate and setting it in front of Beth. She looked at her daughter’s face and shook her head.

“Beth, close your mouth, you’ll let the flies come in.”

“What was Jimi like?” Beth asked eagerly.

“He seemed chill. Really nice to talk to. They had to leave, but it was nice of them to talk to us.” He pulled out a guitar pick. “He gave me this.”

Mary was impressed. “Look at you, meeting celebrities. I met a professional rugby player once. Of course, it was before the war and I was 16, but I thought he was handsome.”

“Mom, no offense, but I don’t really wanna hear about my mother’s love life,” Ronnie said.

Beth nodded in agreement. 

Mary rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine.” 

“I’ll do anything if you give me the guitar pick and autographs,” Beth said, starting to reach out for it, but Ronnie put it back in his pocket. 

“I’d sooner die than give you these,” Ronnie replied.

Beth frowned and stomped her foot. “How come nothing cool ever happens to me?”

“That’s because you’re not cool,” Ronnie answered.

“Yes I am, you’re the one that’s not cool.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Just remember: Ronnie, my big brother, met and had drinks with Jimi Hendrix.”

Beth glared at him.

“Now, now calm down, Beth. I'm sure you’ll meet someone exciting one day, and then you can brag to your brother,” Mary said, taking a bit out of her toast. 

“I better.”

“Anyway, I wanted to tell you guys that in June, Pamela, Jennifer’s sister, is getting married in Texas, so I’ll be gone 5 days at most and then in August, Jennifer and I are going to some music festival in New York. She insisted on buying tickets, saying it’d be one of the biggest events of 1969. They were expensive too and we had to order them from New York. I hope it turns out what Jennifer expects it to be.”

Mary shook her head. “It’s a miracle that beat-up truck of yours hasn’t broken down yet. 

“Well, let’s not jinx it.”

“I don’t even know what I’ll do this summer,” Beth said, digging into her plate. “I wish I wasn't in high school, then I could do whatever I want.”

“It ain’t all like that. Because I’m taking all my vacation days during the summer, my Christmas and Thanksgiving break will be a lot shorter.”

Beth frowned. “Oh.”

“Another thing,” Ronnie said. “A guy I went to school with got drafted. I found out on Thursday since his cousin works with me. I’m just worried that I’ll be next since my number’s pretty high up.” Ronnie looked genuinely concerned as he spoke.

Beth felt bad about it. The whole war thing was dumb, and Beth sorta wanted to go to a protest, but one, she lived in the Midwest in the middle of nowhere, and two, she heard you could get arrested, which was something not on Beth’s bucket list. Ever since Ronnie filed his draft card months ago, he was worried that he would be next or someone he was close with. 

Mo grá, I doubt you’ll be drafted, you’ve had a lot of good luck this year, I don’t think it’ll stop now.

Ronnie smiled sadly. “Thanks, Mom.”

He then stood up and downed the last of his coffee.

“Thanks for breakfast and the pep talk Mom, um I promised Laurie I’d hang out with him, and I told Mr. Tran I’d swing by today too. I probably won’t come back so this is the last you’ll see of me until next Friday.”

Mary frowned. “Come to church with us, you haven’t been in months. It’ll do you some good.”

Ronnie sighed. “Mom, please let’s not do this now.”

“Do what now?” Shannon pipped in.

Ronnie smiled at her. “Nothing kiddo, I was just leaving.”

Shannon frowned. “I’ll miss you.”

“Me too.” Ronnie smiled at his family and waved as he grabbed his keys and wallet. He went back to Mary and handed her the autographed napkin and guitar pick.

“Mom, can you put these in my room and then lock the door? I don’t want a certain 16 year old blonde girl getting her hands on them,” He said smiling at Beth. 

If Beth could, she’d slap that smile right off his face. 

“Promise me you’ll go to church next Sunday with us?” Mary said, taking the napkin and pick. 

Ronnie groaned. “Okay, fine I’ll go, but I ain’t wearing a tie or jacket.”

Mary kissed him on the cheek. “Bye, sweetie.”

“Oh! Beth, I told Mom that I’d pick you and Jennifer up from school next Friday, so don’t take the bus home.”

Beth nodded. She hated taking the bus, so she was glad that he was gonna pick her up. 

Ronnie waved again as he walked out the door and left the McKittrick household. He got into his beat-up red truck and sighed. 

“Time to see Mr. Tran,” he muttered to himself as he started the truck and drove out of the driveway. 

After Ronnie graduated, he stopped working at The Lotus Flower, but he had become attached to it and sometimes still helped out for free when he was bored or feeling extra nice. Mr. Tran also insisted that he come every so often so he could practice his Vietnamese, which he now could practically speak fluently. He used to complain about it, but as Nixon sent more troops to the country when Ronnie filed his draft card during his senior year, he was grateful that he had learned the language. If he ever was drafted, it’d be extremely useful. 

He pulled up in the parking lot of the restaurant and got out of his truck. Surprisingly the place had gotten more popular as the war escalated. Ronnie assumed maybe vets missed the food over there, but Ronnie knew only about 6 people who had been drafted in Ridge's Creek in the last two years and none of them had gotten deployed to Vietnam. Maybe people were finally realizing how good the food was. 

Daisy, Mr. Tran’s 14 year old and youngest daughter, was the seating hostess on duty when Ronnie walked in. She saw Ronnie, smiled, and gave him a little wave.

“Hi, Ronnie,” she said, flashing him a smile and pushing up her glasses.

“Hey, Daisy, is your dad here?”

Daisy nodded. “Yeah, he’s in his office.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he walked past her. 

He walked towards the kitchen and then turned right, where Mr. Tran’s office was. He knocked on the door. 

“Come in,” Mr. Tran’s voice called from behind the door. 

Ronnie opened the door and stepped inside. Mr. Tran was sitting behind his desk reviewing some papers. He looked up and smiled when he was Ronnie.

Oh, it’s you, take a seat son,” Mr. Tran said in Vietnamese.

Ronnie nodded and sat down. 

Mr. Tran set down his papers and took off his glasses. “How are you?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I went to a concert in Detroit with my girlfriend Jennifer.”

Mr. Tran sighed at him and made a face. 

Sorry, I know, only Vietnamese when we speak,” Ronnie apologized in the language.

So, who did you see?”

“The Jimi Hendrix Experience,” Ronnie replied in English, but since it was music, Mr. Tran wouldn’t mind. 

Daisy, Lily, and Dahlia like that band, they were sad they could not go,” Mr. Tran said, referencing his three youngest daughters.

You used English,” Ronnie said, chuckling.

“I do not know what you are talking about.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes. 

Don’t tell them that you saw them, I think Daisy would cry.”

Well, then I should not say that I met them, the band as well. At a bar after the show.”

Mr. Tran looked impressed. “Look at you.”

Ronnie smiled. “Look at me. So, what is new with your family?” 

I have news actually.

What?” Ronnie asked.

Lily is engaged and getting married in September.”

Congratulations,” Ronnie told him, smiling.

Mr. Tran just sighed sadly. “I think I am not yet ready to give her way. Rose and Marigold are both already married and moved away, I do not think I can let another one of my little girls go.

Isn’t she 20?” Ronnie asked.

Well yes, but that is not the point,” Mr. Tran said, suddenly stern “You will understand when you have your own children.”

Ronnie shrugged. 

In speaking of marriage, what about your girlfriend? You have been together for 5 years, no?”

Ronnie nodded. “Don’t crucify me for using English, but I don’t really know how to explain it in Vietnamese.

Mr. Tran nodded. “Go ahead, explain.”

“I don’t know honestly, I mean I’ve given it some thought, but she’s still in school and her dad would kill me if I proposed anytime soon.”

Mr. Tran laughed heartily.

“She also said she wants to do a year of college before she gets married, so maybe in two years, I’ll propose, but not anytime soon.”

Mr. Tran nodded. “I see.”

Ronnie spent another 4 hours at the restaurant talking and helping out. He congratulated Lily, who was there serving as a waitress, and he helped Daisy grab some napkins from a shelf she was too short to reach. Shortly after that, he said goodbye and told them he was meeting up with a friend. 

Ronnie met Laurie at the lake they used to swim often when they were both in school. After they both started working, neither of them really had the time to do the same things they used to.

Laurie worked at a cattle ranch full-time and like Ronnie, lived at home with his mother during the weekends and holidays. But Laurie planned on going to college, unlike Ronnie, who had given up on going. He was only working to save up money and eventually he’d go to a university. 

Ronnie drove his truck down the path leading to the lake and parked it in the makeshift dirt parking lot people had made a few years back. He always kept a spare change of clothes in his truck, so he didn’t need to worry about driving in wet clothes. 

Laurie was sitting on the bank drinking a beer when Ronnie arrived on the scene. They weren’t alone either, there were about 10 or so other people there, but they were on the other side of the lake, so Ronnie didn’t care.

“Look who decided to show up,” Laurie said when he saw Ronnie walk up.

“Oh fuck off, you square, you’ve probably only been waiting 10 minutes.”

Laurie laughed into his beer bottle. “Maybe.”

Ronnie sat next to him. “Wanna swim?”

Laurie shrugged. “Heard that you’re not supposed to swim after eating.”

Ronnie scoffed. “You’re drinking, not eating. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to chew your beer.”

Laurie snorted. “Okay, lemme finish this and then we’ll swim.”

“Or we could just sit here and drink beers.”

“I like that idea way more,” Laurie said, handing Ronnie a beer bottle.

“Thanks, man.”

“Yeah sure. How was the Jimi Hendrix concert?”

“I fucking met him at a fucking bar after the show.”

Laurie set his beer down. “You’re shitting me, right?”

Ronnie shook his head. “No seriously, Jennifer had the whole band sign her boobs.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“I’m not a possessive boyfriend.”

“Oh well, in that case, I can see them?”

Ronnie flicked Laurie’s arm. “No.”

“Ow, that hurt,” Laurie muttered, rubbing his arm.

“So, how’s Freckle-Face?”

Laurie glared at him. “I can’t get her off, man.”

During senior year, Laurie finally realized how annoying and boring Imogene was and tried to dump her for the 200th time, but she refused to accept it. In fact, she was convinced that he was saving up money to marry her and buy a house. Ronnie personally found the predicament hilarious. 

“You know it’s your own fault man. I tried warning you, the whole basketball, baseball, and football team tried warning you, but no it took 4 years for your dumb ass to realize that.”

“Oh shut up, McKittrick.”

“Pass me another beer and I will.” 

Around 7, Ronnie and Laurie left to go to the ranches they worked on out of town. 

“See you next weekend, man,” Laurie called out to Ronnie as he got into his truck.

“You too,” Ronnie replied as he started the truck and drove out of the dirt parking lot and towards the start of a new workweek. 

Notes:

Ronnie's actually pretty smart. Just not in logic or school. And yes, Mr. Tran's daughters are all named after flowers.

 

For Context:

Jimi Hendrix Experience: The concert they went was on that day in Detroit fun fact.

That music festival in New York: Can you guess what it is 😏

The Draft: Young men would get letters prior to late 1969 for being selected for military service. If you were rich, you could easily get out of it, but those who were poor or a POC, you were pretty much fucked. Starting in Dec. 1969, they would do a lottery instead. Birthdays were assigned numbers. Those with lower numbers had a higher chance of being drafted.

Drinking: The drinking age wasn't raised to 21 in the US until the late 70s through the 80s so both Laurie and Ronnie are legally drinking

Chapter 14: Bad Intentions and Confrontations (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Beth falls under Daniel's bad influence, leading to a big fight

Notes:

CW: Underage smoking/drinking, sexual references, usage of slur toward Indigenous Americans (which I do not condone in the slightest)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: Bad Intentions and Confrontations

 

Five days later



When Beth went back to school the next day, Daniel was nowhere to be found. He didn’t show up Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday either. Beth was worried that he was avoiding her, but on that Friday morning, she spotted him getting out of his car. 

“Daniel!” She called out, walking up to him. 

Daniel turned around at the sound of his name and saw Beth walking toward him. He sighed deeply. 

“Where have you been?” Beth asked.

Daniel grabbed his backpack from the back of his car. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter!?” Beth replied, starting to get angry.

“Hey, calm down Beth. Look, I’ll make it up to you this weekend.”

“Really?”

Daniel gave her a cocky smile “Yeah. Hey, let’s meet in the teacher’s bathroom on the second floor next to the science hall during last period.”

“I have math during that period.”

Daniel laughed. “So? Skip it, I don’t want to be alone in there waiting for you.” He gave her a pouty face.

“Okay, I’ll try.”

He smiled and pointed at her. “You’re the best, you know that,” he said as he walked away from her and towards the school. 

“You certainly confuse me, King,” Beth muttered to herself as she entered the school.

Beth hadn’t told Carrie and Delilah yet about the car sex but decided to now tell her during lunch since Daniel was nearby, and if they didn’t believe her, he could back her up.

“Carrie, Delilah, I have something to tell you all,” Beth started.

“What?” Carried asked with a mouth full of food. 

“Ew Carrie, swallow your food before you talk, that’s gross,” Delilah exclaimed, disgusted.

Carrie swallowed her food with one big gulp. “Sorry.”

“Oh, whatever,” Delilah muttered.

“What is it, Beth?” Carrie asked.

“So, you know how Daniel and I are going out now right?”

Delilah and Carrie nodded. 

“Yeah, he’s cute and popular,” Carrie said.

Beth blushed. “I know. But we had our first real date on Saturday. We saw a movie at the drive-in.”

“What movie?” Delilah asked.

“Doesn’t matter, I didn’t pay attention anyway.”

“Okay, so what happened?” 

Beth leaned toward her friends and whispered, “Afterward we had sex in his car.”

Carrie gasped and looked at her best friend. “Holy crap! You’re not a virgin? You’re so lucky!” 

“I can’t believe myself, I thought I’d feel more like a woman, but honestly, I still feel the same.”

Delilah looked impressed. “Honestly, I thought you’d be the last of us to lose your virginity.”

“Did it hurt?” Carrie asked.

Beth shrugged. “It did, but then it felt good in a weird way.”

Carrie nodded. “Interesting.” She paused for a second before starting to speak again. “You know, I’m planning on losing my virginity too.”

 “If all the college kids can have all the sexual freedom they want, why can’t we?” Delilah added.

Beth agreed. “When will you?”

“I was thinking about the party at Jane Orville’s on Saturday. Everyone’s gonna be there, so I think it might be my best shot,” Carrie mused.

“Well, I’ve been dating Tommy nearly a year now, I think I'll ask him if he wants to,” Delilah said, taking a bite from her apple.

“Makes sense.”

“Are you gonna be at the party?” Carrie asked Beth. “I know Delilah can’t come, but I was hoping you’d be there too.”

Beth shrugged. “Daniel said we’d be doing something Saturday night, so I don’t know.” 

“Okay well, I hope I’ll see you there.”

After contemplating it during 5th and 6th period, Beth decided to go through with skipping math to meet Daniel. After the bell rang in choir, Beth rushed upstairs to the bathroom instead of going to math, her next and last class of the day. 

She looked around for Daniel and saw him leaning against the wall. She waved at him to get his attention. He nodded when he saw her and beckoned her over. 

“I’m glad you came,” Daniel said. “How do you feel?”

“Not as guilty as I thought I’d be.”

Daniel laughed. “That’s the spirit. Now c’mon let’s go,” he said, grabbing her arm and leading her to the teacher’s bathroom.

It was a single bathroom, so there were no stalls and only one sink. Daniel locked the door and winked at her. 

“We got 45 minutes of fun, what do you wanna do?”

“Beth shrugged. 

“We could do what we did on Saturday,” Daniel suggested, giving her another wink. 

Beth didn’t want to do it in a school environment, where they could be easily caught. He might get mad if she flat out said no, so Beth started thinking of ways she could yes and actually mean no. An idea popped into her head.

“Uh well, do you have condoms?”

Daniel checked his pocket and slapped his leg when he realized he didn’t have his wallet on him. “Shit, I left my wallet in my locker and there’s no way I can get it without being seen.”

“Well let’s not do it then, I don’t want to get pregnant, Mom would disown me.”

Daniel nodded in agreement. “I don’t wanna get anyone pregnant anytime soon either.”

“Well, there are other things we can do,” Beth pointed out.

Daniel nodded as he took out a cigarette. “Want one?”

Beth didn’t know what to say. She normally ridiculed her brother for smoking every time she saw him, but with Daniel, she had an urge of curiosity. Although she didn’t usually agree with it, Ronnie once said that it’s okay to try everything once. Maybe just once wouldn’t hurt.

“Oh why not, but I don’t wanna get addicted to them.”

“You’ll be fine. One cigarette one won't do a thing,” he told her as he handed her a cigarette. 

He lit his first and the Beth’s, who immediately inhaled the smoke and just as instantly, regretted it. She started coughing, but Daniel just laughed. 

“You’ll get used to it.”

Beth inhaled another puff and Daniel was right, she only coughed a little bit. By the third time, she had gotten completely used to it. The taste of nicotine was strange and foreign to Beth and she decided that it tasted nasty. She couldn’t understand how her brother had gotten hooked on these, they were awful. Beth right then and there decided that she’d never smoke again.

Daniel sat on the floor and pulled Beth over to sit next to him. “So, what do you think?”

Beth took the cigarette out of her mouth. “It tastes disgusting. I’m never smoking ever again.”

Daniel shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat, Beth.”

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. Beth liked being able to hear his heartbeat, but the smoke smell kept bothering her. She put out her own cigarette and moved to kiss Daniel’s lips. 

He also tasted like cigarettes but in a better way, Beth guessed. Daniel put his hands in her hair and deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue across her lips. He started to unbutton Beth’s blouse, but the bell rang.

Startled, Beth jumped off Daniel. He laughed as he stood up and put out his cigarette. 

“Wanna go somewhere?” Daniel asked her as Beth fixed herself in the mirror and put her backpack on her back.

She shook her head. “No, my brother’s picking me up today, I gotta meet him. 

“I’ll see you later then.”

Beth nodded and opened the bathroom door. The hallway was full of kids, so it was easy to leave without being noticed. Beth hurried down the steps and out the entrance of the school.

She spotted Jennifer standing a few yards away and went over to where she was. Jennifer saw her but didn’t say anything. Beth stood next to her, waiting for Ronnie to show up.

Jennifer, like Ronnie, had also gotten taller. She stood 6 feet and was the tallest girl in the school. Beth wished she was tall like Jennifer. Then she wouldn’t have to stand on her tippy toes when she kissed Daniel. And even then, he still had to lean down. (Well, not as tall as Jennifer. She was freakishly tall.)

“You’re going with Daniel King, right?” Jennifer asked out of nowhere.

Beth nodded. “Yes, why?”

“He’s a bad idea, Beth.”

Beth scoffed. “Yeah, and what do you know about romance?”

Jennifer shrugged. “A thing or two.”

“Dating my brother does not make you special.”

“We’re both dating a guy who likes to have sex and smoke, the only difference is Daniel is a dick 24/7 while Ronnie is only a dick part of the time.”

“Ew and first of all, Daniel is not a sex addict.”

Jennifer raised a brow. “Beth, he enjoys dating virgins so he can deflower them. I know 5 other people he’s devirginized. He’s an ass. What, are you still a virgin?”

Beth looked down. “No,” she muttered.

Jennifer snorted. “Proves my point exactly.”

“It’s not like that,” Beth said, defending Daniel.

“Is it though?”

“Just-just don’t tell Ronnie. He’ll flip out.”

Jennifer patted Beth’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I won’t. It’s against the girl code.”

“Thanks.”

“Just think about it, okay? I’m just looking out for you.”

Beth didn’t say anything. 

“Hey look, there’s Ronnie,” Jennifer said, waving him down.

Ronnie pulled up in his truck. Beth climbed in the back while Jennifer got in the passenger seat. Ronnie greeted his girlfriend with a kiss while Beth made a disgusted face. Ronnie caught her face in the rearview mirror and turned to face her.

“Oh, you do the same thing with your little boyfriend,” he said, rolling his eyes. He turned back around and started driving again. 

Beth tried to ignore what Jennifer said. That couldn’t be true. Daniel had been so nice to her, and he had already deflowered her and was still interested, so Jennifer had to be wrong. 

Ronnie drove to their house first to drop Beth off. “I'll be home for dinner,” he told her before driving with Jennifer. 

Beth ran into the house and dumped her backpack in the living room before going back outside to wait for Shannon’s bus. Ronnie was long gone when she came back out of the house, but she could see tire marks where he had been driving. 

After getting Shannon and making the two of them a snack, Beth called Daniel’s number.

“Who is it?” Daniel’s voice asked from the other line.

“It’s Beth.”

“Oh, what’s up?”

“We never set a meeting time for Saturday.”

“I was thinking like 10:30, I’ll drive by your street and you can meet me there, so your mom doesn’t notice. 

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah.”

 

***

 

Beth waited until her mother went to bed to leave the house. She wasn’t good at climbing down houses, so she just snuck downstairs and opened the front door as quietly as she could, and closed it as quietly as she could.

Sure enough, Daniel’s car was a few houses away, towards the beginning of the street. Beth walked over to the car and found Daniel laying in the back. She tapped at the windows, startling Daniel. He looked up scared but just saw Beth. He unlocked the driver’s seat and Beth got in.

“Nearly gave me a heart attack,” Daniel muttered as he got into the driver’s seat and started up the car. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Daniel shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Where are we going?” Beth asked Daniel after they pulled out of the neighborhood.

“The lake.”

“Oh okay, should I have brought a swimsuit?”

Daniel snorted. “No.”

“Okay,” Beth said quietly.

After they passed the welcome sign, Daniel pulled out a bottle of whiskey and started to drink from it.

“Daniel, you shouldn’t drink while you’re driving,” Beth said frantically.

“Shut up, Mom,” Daniel replied.

Beth sat there, not knowing what to do. She glanced at Daniel, who was still drinking the whiskey. Without thinking, Beth grabbed the bottle from him and held it in her hands.

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Drinking,” Beth replied, taking a swig from the bottle. She nearly gagged as soon as the liquid reached her mouth. It tasted like fire, but if it meant no drunk driving, Beth had to do it. 

Daniel seemed to calm down when they got to the lake. Daniel got to the bank and started taking off his clothes. 

“What are you doing?”

“Skinny dipping, c’mon it’ll be fun.”

Beth sighed. “Okay.” She jogged over to where he was and started taking off her clothes. 

“You’re pretty,” Daniel said as he started going into the water.

Beth blushed, but she doubted he could see it. “Thanks,” she said as she joined him in the water. 

After they finished skinny dipping, they made love again and this time, Daniel had condoms. Beth didn’t mind now, and in fact, the second time was so much better. She decided she didn’t care what Jennifer thought, she was just jealous because she was stuck with Ronnie. 

Beth watched Daniel drink the whiskey until he ran out. He pulled Beth close and started kissing her again, but Beth could barely handle the smell of alcohol on his breath. They kissed a little bit more until Beth realized that he had passed out.

She tried waking him but to no avail. She gave up and put back her clothes on. Beth placed a shirt over Daniel’s privates since he was still naked, and walked away from him. She had a long walk ahead of her. 

Somehow she didn’t get lost and found her way home. She decided to climb up the house and enter through Ronnie’s room’s window since it was the easiest way to get to the second floor without going inside.

She got on the roof and prayed that Ronnie’s window was unlocked. It was. She popped the window open and quietly slipped into his room.

Ronnie was passed out in his bed sound asleep. Beth knew the only things that woke him up were his alarm clock and someone screaming in his ear, so Beth wasn’t worried that he’d catch her.

As she left Ronnie’s room and snuck into her own, she realized something. She was doing nearly the same thing her brother was doing 3 and a half years ago. 

 

Saturday, June 7th, 1969

 

The school year was finally over. Beth was looking forward to getting her driver’s license and spending time with Daniel. Mary had started getting annoyed by all the time Beth was spending with Daniel and had told her she’d restrict the time she spent with him unless she met him herself.

Beth thought it was dumb, but Mary had made her invite Daniel to have dinner with them and the Parkers since it was Jennifer’s graduation ceremony today. A good way to introduce potential future family members Mary had told Beth. 

On the morning of the ceremony, Beth found Daniel outside Kimberly’s, smoking.

“Hey Beth, I didn’t see you there,” Daniel said, putting out his cigarette and dropping it on the ground. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” Beth told him.

“Shoot.”

“My brother’s girlfriend is having her graduation ceremony today, and afterward my family will have dinner with hers,” Beth began, but Daniel interrupted her.

“Jennifer Parker’s your brother’s girl, right? She’s pretty, though she’d be a lot hotter if she wasn’t an Injun.”

Beth was flabbergasted. “Excuse me?”

Daniel shrugged. “Just sayin.”

“I’ll just pretend you didn’t say anything. Anyway, my mother wanted to invite you to have dinner with us because she wants to meet you.”

“Are you inviting me to have dinner with your family?”

Beth nodded.

“Uh, I don’t really do dinners, Beth.”

“She said she won’t let me see you as much if you don’t come.”

Daniel scoffed. “What a bitch.”

“What did you just say?”

Daniel took Beth by the shoulders. “Look, your mom is an old lady. Right now, the youths are the ones with power. They can deny it all they want, but guess what? I know you don’t want to go to dinner, so let’s not go. Fuck them.” 

Beth stared at her boyfriend. He sounded insane, but it made sense in a way. A really odd twisted way.

“No dinner?”

“No dinner. No ceremony either.”

“No ceremony either,” Beth repeated.

“That’s the spirit, now c’mon let's have us some fun,” Daniel said, giving her a crazy grin. 

Beth just followed him. 

Daniel first took her to the burned-down farm nearby the lake she and many others liked to swim at. They drank and had sex in the hayloft. Then, they went to Main Street and Beth watched Daniel make fun of people as they passed by.

It wasn’t too mean at first, but then an overweight girl walked by and Daniel went ballistic. He made oinking noises and called her a pig. Beth knew it was cruel and she should have stepped in, especially when the girl started crying, but she didn’t do anything. She just stood back and watched.

Beth didn’t really remember what happened next. They went back to the burned-down barn and drank some more. Beth remembered waking up in the middle of the night, with a huge headache but fell back asleep.

She wasn’t sure what time it was when she finally woke up. Daniel was still asleep to no surprise. Her head was killing her and her body was sore. From what, she didn’t know.

She woke Daniel up and asked what time it was or what it was even. Daniel just shrugged and said he didn’t know.

“Daniel, I think I’m late for dinner.”

“We’re skipping it, remember?” Daniel murmured.

“But I think we’re really late. I think today might be Sunday.” Beth gasped. “I’m late for church, Mom’s gonna kill me.”

“Beth, fuck church, it’s pointless. If God loves us and he knows that we love him back, why do we need to let him know 24/7? It's pointless, it’s like if I love blowjobs and I know my girlfriend loves giving them, it’s not like it’s all I’m gonna make her do.”

Beth pondered his blowjob logic. Maybe he was right, but her head hurt too much to dwell on it. 

“C’mon please, can you take me home?”

Daniel sighed and stood up. “Let’s go princess.”

The bright light didn’t help with Beth’s headache, but after a while, she got used to it. Daniel dropped her off in front of her house and stumbled her way to the door. 

She didn’t even have to knock on the door because she got to it, her brother opened the door. He looked pissed off.

“Beth, get your fucking ass in here right fucking now,” He said, grabbing her arm and dragging her into the house.

“Ow, you’re hurting me,” Beth said, trying to get him to loosen his iron grip. 

Ronnie sat her on the couch before leaving the room.

Beth had never seen him this angry before. She could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. If he was this upset, she wondered how mad her mother was. She didn’t have to wait to find out.

Mary came into the room calmly but when Beth saw her face, it was pure rage. Beth had never seen her look so angry before. It scared her.

“Elizabeth Mary McKittrick,” she began calmly. “I asked you to invite your little boyfriend to dinner at about 11:30 yesterday. When the ceremony started, you were nowhere to be found and neither was your little boyfriend. I hoped that you would be at the dinner, but once again, no you were nowhere to be found. I prayed that you would have come home last night, but no, you were not. 

When you weren’t here this morning, I called the police but they said to call again if she didn’t show up in the next 48 hours. It is Sunday, 2:24 and now you come home.”

Beth groaned and buried her face in her hands. “My head hurts.”

Mary grabbed Beth’s face and looked into her eyes. “Your eyes are dilated. Are you drunk?”

Beth pulled away from her. “I dunno, not anymore.”

Mary sighed. “You need to stop seeing that boy.”

Beth looked up at her mother. “No, he loves me.”

“Does he really?”

“You’re just jealous that you won’t have someone who loves you.”

“What did you just say to me?”

Beth stood up from the couch. “You’re just a sad lonely old bitch who’s jealous of me because I have something you lost a long time ago.”

Mary didn’t say anything and just stared at her daughter as tears started to pool up in her eyes.

Beth laughed at her mother’s tears. Her head didn’t hurt as much and she thought for once, she was finally saying how she really felt.

“You’re drunk or hungover, you don’t mean any of this,” Mary said to Beth, though it sounded like she was trying to reassure herself.

Beth laughed coldly. “Yes, I do. Daniel’s pretty smart and he’s told me that really I have the power here, not you.”

Mary slapped her across the face. Beth nearly fell back from shock. Her mother had never laid even a finger on her. She rubbed her stinging cheek with her hand and glared at Mary.

“I hated you when you kicked Daddy out. Of course, I didn’t know why, but to think, you kicked out your husband of 20 years like all of it meant nothing. Did you really love him? Do you really love me or am I just something you tell what to do and punish me when I don’t listen? Well, Mary, I’m done listening to you and your stupid ideologies. Fuck you,” Beth ranted, ending it with her jabbing at her mother’s chest.

Mary looked horrified as tears started to spill out from her eyes. 

“What has he done to you?”

Beth shrugged. “Made me realize that I probably should have gone with Daddy when he offered.” She turned around and made her way toward the stairs.

“BETH GET BACK HERE!” Mary shouted, though her voice was choked up from crying.

Beth didn’t answer and just kept walking up the stairs until she came to her room. She slammed the door and locked it, so one could get in. 

Mary collapsed on the living room floor and began to cry harder. Ronnie, who had gone to the kitchen and heard the whole shebang, rushed to his mother. Mary wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his chest.

“I’m losing my baby girl to the Devil,” Mary wailed.

Ronnie just held and tried to soothe his mother. He couldn’t say anything because he knew damn well that in a way, he wasn’t any better. He hadn’t been to church in a year and smoked and drank regularly. He knew Beth was going on a dark path, but he had no idea what he could do about it. 

Notes:

my sister really wants Daniel dead. I have to agree.

Chapter 15: Galveston (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie and Jennifer attend Pamela's wedding in Texas

 

woo wooo just bumped this baby up to explicit

Notes:

i offer i this chapter after beth's shenanigans

 

CW: Sex (literally, i apologize if it's the worst thing you've ever read)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: Galveston

 

Friday, June 20th, 1969



“I don’t understand why we have to be up so early,” Jennifer groaned as Ronnie drove in the darkness.

“You could have driven up with your parents 2 days ago, but no you wanted to drive to your sister’s wedding with your boyfriend,” Ronnie replied, not taking his eyes off the road. 

“Why did she have to get married in Galveston, it’s 16 hours away from Ridge’s Creek?”

“She wanted the last laugh before she got married.”

“Well it’s 5 in the morning right now, and we’ve already been on the road for 2 hours, so I guess she is having the last laugh.”

Ronnie chuckled. “When we pass into Wichita, we’ll get breakfast, okay?” he promised.

Jennifer nodded and smiled. “Well, I'll take a nap until we do.”

“Sweet dreams,” Ronnie said, but Jennifer was already knocked out. He chuckled lightly and continued down the dark road. 

After eating at some breakfast house, they continued their way to Texas. Jennifer was excited, she had never been to Texas. 

“I don’t travel a lot other than concerts we go to. I’m excited to go to a beach for the first time. I wanna see the ocean and swim.”

Ronnie smiled. “I’ve only been to a beach once and it was Galveston since it’s the nearest one. I was 3 or 4, it was back before Dad had his car accident and became a douchebag. I remember the smell though, it was salty.”

Jennifer smiled as well. “Sounds like a nice memory.”

Ronnie nodded. He was glad to get out of Nebraska and not deal with the recent events that involved a certain younger sister. She was going down a dark path that only ended in bad things. It was so strange how one person who had been in her life for a month and changed everything about her. It was like looking at a different person. Mary was heartbroken. 

Jennifer knew what happened and later admitted to Ronnie that Beth said that she had lost her virginity to him. Ronnie wondered if that was why she felt loyal to him, but he didn’t know. Jennifer was nice enough to not mention it since this was supposed to be a relaxing vacation.

Jennifer took a picture of the Welcome to Texas sign when they passed through the state line, but the actual state looked the same as Oklahoma and Kansas, which meant grass and cows. 

Ronnie was slightly more impressed when they drove through Dallas and Austin, places he told Jennifer he’d take her to someday, but the countryside was just the same as anywhere else in the south and midwest. 

Finally, after 12 hours, Ronnie pulled up to the hotel in Galveston where they were staying. The air smelled like salt and much to Jennifer’s delight, the ocean was only a 10 minute walk away. 

Jennifer checked into the hotel while Ronnie grabbed their bags. The reception was going to be at the hotel, while the wedding ceremony took place in a Methodist church a block away.

Jennifer came back to the truck and jingled the hotel keys. “Let’s dump this shit and go swimming. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ronnie muttered.

When Jennifer opened the hotel room, Ronnie saw it had two twin-sized beds. He dumped their stuff on one bed and cocked a brow at Jennifer.

“What’s with the 2 beds?”

Jennifer sighed. “It was the only way I could convince my dad to let us share a room. He made sure they were twin-sized.”

“That’s not gonna stop us from doing it though?”

Jennifer shook her head. “Of course not, we do it in your bed and it’s twin-sized.”

Ronnie laughed and kissed her lips. “C’mon, let’s change and go to the boardwalk.” 

Jennifer’s delight at seeing the ocean for the first time was almost childlike. She handed Ronnie her camera before running into the sand and laughing. She turned back to Ronnie. “Isn’t this beautiful!?” She called out.

Ronnie nodded and jogged to catch up to her. 

Jennifer was now staring at the ocean. Its endless blue waves seemed to go on forever. Jennifer looked over and saw Ronnie standing next to her. Her dark hazel eyes twinkled.

“It’s the same color,” she said. 

“The same color as what?” Ronnie asked, confused.

“The water’s the same color as your eyes. Your mom always said that you had ocean eyes, but I never knew what she meant. Until now.”

Ronnie stared into the ocean. She was right, the deep blue water was the same color as his eyes. He had always liked his eyes. Other than his mother, he had never met anyone with the same eye color as him. Jennifer often said it was her favorite part of Ronnie’s face, his eyes. 

“Let’s get in the water,” Jennifer told Ronnie.

He nodded as she ran towards the waves, laughing. He quickly followed her.

The water was freezing, but Jennifer didn’t seem to care. She splashed around the kicked water at Ronnie but stopped when she remembered he was holding her camera.

“Take a picture!” She called out, waist-deep in the water.

Ronnie scrambled for the camera and took a couple of pictures. He gave her a thumbs up when he finished. She nodded and wadded out of the water.

“Give the camera to me, I wanna take a picture of you,” She said, holding her hand out for the camera.

“Do I have to go into the water?”

“Yes.”

Ronnie groaned and waded in the freezing water until it was at her knees. He gave a smile to the camera but was mentally cursing about how cold the water was. He had no idea how Jennifer could stand it. 

Just as he was starting to get out, a woman walking with her dog offered to take a picture of the two of them. Jennifer eagerly gave the camera to her and waded next to her boyfriend.

“It’s cold,” Ronnie muttered.

“No shit, Sherlock, now smile for the camera.”

Ronnie gave the camera his best smile. 

They stayed for another hour before drying off and going in. Jennifer wanted to stay longer, but they had to get ready for the rehearsal dinner, which started at 7. 

Ronnie took a 5 minute shower, while Jennifer took a 30. He was wearing his only tuxedo, the one he had bought for senior prom and his graduation. He had to be careful to not get it dirty since he was wearing it for the wedding too. Jennifer wore a dark red lacy dress that went to her knees and brown pumps, which matched some of the designs on the top part of the dress.

The dinner was held at a fancy steakhouse which meant the food was gonna be expensive. Turns out though he didn’t have to worry about that. Everyone was being served the same thing and Pamela’s fiance’s family was paying for it. Ronnie thought there was nothing better than free food.

“So what’s his name? No one told me, and I think I should know the names of the people whose wedding I’m attending,” Ronnie whispered to Jennifer as they entered the restaurant.

“Vince Anderson, he’s half white and Cherokee. They met shortly after Pamela graduated while visiting our Aunt Beulah in Tulsa.”

“Wait, you have an aunt named Beulah?” Ronnie said, starting to snicker.

“Shhh, she’s right over there she’ll hear you,” Jennifer answered, pointing at a lady that looked like the female version of Jennifer’s father. 

“Ya know, we should name our kid Beulah after her,” Ronnie suggested.

“That’s a war crime.”

Ronnie laughed.

“I love her, but I would never do that to my child and name her Beulah,” Jennifer confessed as they walked closer to the large tables where the wedding party was sitting.

“Okay, let’s shut up now,” Ronnie muttered as Mr. Parker saw them.

Mr. Parker came over and looked at the two of them. “Nice to see you could make it,” he said, clearly annoyed that they were a little late.

“Sorry sir, Jennifer and I wanted to go to the beach before we hit dinner,” Ronnie replied.

Mr. Parker smiled. “Oh it’s fine, go enjoy yourself, my baby girl is getting married.”

Ronnie turned to Jennifer as soon as Mr. Parker walked away. “Why is your dad being nice? It’s scary.”

Jennifer shrugged. “You’re just clueless as I am.” 

Jennifer dragged Ronnie around introducing him to her various relatives. He had met some of them before, but nearly all the older ones he hadn’t met were all interested in him for some reason and kept asking when he’d marry Jennifer. Ronnie thought he’d die from embarrassment. He eventually met the groom, and it turned out he had also seen The Who in Oklahoma City in July of last year. He had been in the state on an errand for his boss and decided to take advantage of it. 

“I can appreciate a guy with good music taste,” Ronnie told him after they got to talking. 

Vince smiled. “Same, man.” He left with Jennifer to introduce her to his family, leaving Pamela and Ronnie alone.

“So, you’re getting married,” Ronnie said to Pamela.

Pamela nodded. “Yep.”

“Honestly, I’m impressed. I thought Shannon would marry before you did. I assumed wrong. Guess you’re not a whore after all.”

Pamela slapped Ronnie’s arm. “Shut up, dick.” 

Although he almost dropped his champagne glass, Ronnie just laughed. “Ya know, your extended family was very interested in me. They kept asking when I was gonna tie the knot with Jennnifer. It was mortifying. Do you know why?”

Pamela shrugged. “Since you’re white, they think you’re rich.”

“But I’m not. I’m poorer than you.”

“Well, why else would my dad let you around? If you didn’t notice, he’s the definition of antisocial and is known for not liking people. They think it’s since you have money.”

Ronnie grimaced. “Wonder how they’re gonna feel when they find out I’m just a poor white country boy.”

“Here’s some advice: Don’t.”

Ronnie laughed as he took a sip from his champagne glass.

The wedding was at noon the next day. More people had shown up who didn’t come to the dinner, so suddenly the church was filled with family and friends of Vince and Pamela’s. 

Sadly since Jennifer was one of Pamela’s bridesmaids, Ronnie was stuck sitting between Mr. Parker and Aunt Beulah, who was also Pamela’s godmother. They had front row pews and saw everything close up and personal, which was pretty cool, Ronnie guessed. 

Ronnie had never been to a wedding before. None of his friends were old enough yet and Aunt Eileen, his only extended relative that wasn’t dead or lived in Ireland, had only one child, who had died from polio when Ronnie was only a few months old. Even though her house smelled like cabbages and she STILL pinched Ronnie’s cheeks whenever he saw her, he felt bad for her. He often wondered if the death of her only child was the reason why she smothered him and his sisters so much. 

The whole church cheered when Vince and Pamela kissed in front of the altar. There was such loud cheery energy in the church that even Mr. Parker gave a little whistle as the newlyweds exited the church.  

Pamela tossed her bouquet in the air and about a dozen girls rushed to get it, but it was Jennifer that caught it. She waved with the flowers as Ronnie felt 50 eyes all staring at him.

“Guess this means we’re next,” Ronnie joked on their way back to the hotel where the reception was held.

“Well, if we ever marry, I want to let you know that we’re eloping.”

Ronnie sniggered. “Promise.” 

The reception was far more interesting than the wedding though. Someone in Vince’s family had brought several traditional Cherokee instruments and played them for the wedding party while someone told stories about hunters, snakes, and rivers along to the music. Ronnie found the experience fascinating. Jennifer didn’t really talk much about her ancestry, and as a result, Ronnie only knew about the smallest things from books he had read and from what he had been told by other Omahas. 

After cutting the cake, Ronnie told Jennifer that they should probably head in early since they have a long day of driving ahead of them. He was also trying to cue her to leave so they could have sex. 

Jennifer seemed to catch it and said goodbye to everyone before meeting Ronnie in the hotel lobby. Mr. Parker was following her so Ronnie wondered what he had to say.

“The two of you are going in for the night?” Mr. Parker asked the couple, side-eyeing Ronnie.

“Yeah, it’s a long drive, and Ronnie has to be back by Monday morning. Might as well catch some sleep now before the drive,” Jennifer interjected.

Mr. Parker looked at the two of them. “Just don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if I wasn’t in the room,” he said sternly.

“Of course. I love you Dad, good night.”

Mr. Parker smiled. “I love you too.” He turned around and headed back to the party. 

“We’re not gonna listen to him, right?” Ronnie muttered while they were in the elevator.

“No, dumbass,” Jennifer replied. 

The elevator opened to their floor and they got out. They almost ran to their room and eagerly let themselves in. As soon as Ronnie closed the door and locked it, he and Jennifer were full-on French kissing. 

He took off his jacket and shoes while Jennifer kicked her heels off. Their lips met each other again, this time harder. Ronnie felt blood when Jennifer bit into them, causing Ronnie to groan. She then pushed Ronnie onto the bed and climbed on top of him. 

“Goin’ cowgirl are we?” Ronnie asked, undoing his tie, and unbuttoning his shirt.

Jennifer pulled her dress over her head and tossed it to the floor, revealing white lingerie. “Maybe.”

It only made Ronnie hornier. “Fuck me, Jennifer Parker,” he said, full of lust.

She unhooked her bra and tossed it next to her dress, causing her breasts to spill out. “Yes, sir.”

Ronnie reached out for them as their lips made contact again. They were soft and smooth compared to his rough hands. He rubbed them as he attacked Jennifer's neck, licking and kissing.

“Don't give me a hickey,” Jennifer whimpered as she pulled off Ronnie's shirt.

He looked up and nodded, pushing Jennifer back so he could undo his belt. Jennifer intervened, undoing his belt and pulling his slacks down to his ankles, underwear included. Ronnie kicked them off as Jennifer reached for his wallet and pulled out a small silvery packet. 

He sat up and pulled off his socks before pulling Jennifer back on him, feeling her ass between his very hard cock. She moaned lightly as he felt her ass and inner thighs. 

"Christ, you're soaking," he whispered into her ear.

She muttered something incoherently in reply.

Ronnie pulled off her panties, and she kicked them off the bed. There was barely any space, but that, if anything, just made Ronnie hornier. 

Jennifer climbed back on top of him and opened the condom packet with her teeth. She pulled out the condom and handed it to Ronnie to put on. Ronnie took it and put it on, groaning as he touched himself. His dick was almost standing straight up in the air. 

When he finished, he laid back down and grabbed Jennifer's arm. She crawled over to where his cock was and hovered over it.

“Fuck me, Jen,” Ronnie mumbled, breathing loudly.

Jennifer lowered herself on him slowly, gasping loudly as she went deeper. Ronnie moaned as well, wrapping his hands around her hips. He bucked his hips upwards, causing Jennifer to gasp loudly as she slowly began to ride him. Their hips rolled in sync as Jennifer picked up her pace, grabbing Ronnie's sides for support. He sat up slightly, pulling her closer so they could kiss.

Jennifer's breathing hitched as their lips made contact again, and Ronnie felt her move her hands to his face.

“Fuck,” she mumbled as Ronnie moved from her lips to her collarbone, licking and gently biting. 

Ronnie buried his face into her chest as he picked up the pace, suppressing groans of pleasure. Jennifer's grip on his shoulder tightened as she went faster, muttering swear words and guttural noises.

“I'm close,” Ronnie gasped between breaths.

Jennifer nodded. “Uh-huh.”

Ronnie thrust harder as Jennifer started to shake. He thrust three more times before he came, groaning loudly into Jennifer's chest and falling back, his head hitting the pillow. He gasped loudly as Jennifer pushed off of him and yanked off his condom, tossing it to the floor. 

“That was fun,” Jennifer said after a minute, collapsing next to Ronnie.

Ronnie, who was still shaky from his orgasm, just nodded.

“We should probably sleep now.”

“Yeah, I’m tired anyway,” Ronnie mumbled, closing his eyes. 

Jennifer moved and laid her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. “Good night, baby.”

“You too.”

Like Friday, the two of them woke up around 3 in the morning. They were both too tired to say anything, so they just shuffled around the room, packing and showering. By 3:45, they were back on the road, on the extremely long drive home. 

Jennifer drove this time while Ronnie slept in the passenger’s seat. After stopping to eat breakfast around 8, they switched seats, and Ronnie drove the rest of the way back as Jennifer handled the map. 

“I want to leave Nebraska,” Jennifer said out of nowhere.

“Who doesn’t?” Ronnie replied.

“I wanna leave and never come back.”

Ronnie glanced at Jennifer. She looked serious. “Give me another year so we’ll have money, and then we can run away to anywhere you fucking want.”

Jennifer smiled. “I love you.”

“Me too.” 

Notes:

yes i am aware that makes Pamela now Pamela Anderson

funny bc Galveston is actually a really shitty beach lol but not in the yee ole 60s

For Context

The Who: British rock band, really big in the late 60s-80s

Chapter 16: Take Peace to Heart (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Beth realizes she's been an idiot and makes amends

Notes:

CW: Sexual references

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 16: Take Peace to the Heart

 

Saturday, July 12th, 1969, Ridge's Creek, Nebraska



Beth stood outside of her house. She had snuck out to attend a summer party hosted by a classmate. Well, it wasn’t really sneaking out. Ever since she and Mary had the big fight, Beth could basically do whatever she wanted. The only person trying to put her on the reins was Ronnie, but he was too busy dealing with his own life to do much. Plus, it made him kind of a hypocrite. 

Daniel wasn’t there to pick her up, though he had promised earlier. Beth wasn’t too upset, the party was only a 15 minute walk. Beth was worried about Daniel though. It seemed over the last couple of weeks he had started hanging out less and even ignoring Beth. Beth didn’t know what she did wrong, she had done everything he wanted and it now looked like he didn’t care. She hoped that she was wrong. 

The party was in full swing by the time Beth arrived. Every single light in the house was on, and Beth could see well over a dozen people inside. She sighed and entered the house, hoping to find Daniel.

Music was playing on some speakers, and everyone was either drinking, talking, or dancing, except for two couples, who were making out. The party was much more chill than Beth expected, which made her glad and then surprised that she felt that way. 

She searched downstairs for Daniel, but to no avail. She did find Carrie and decided to stay with her.

“Guess what just happened,” Carrie said, taking a sip from her cup.

“What?”

Carrie pointed at Jake Selleck, one of the more popular boys in school. “I just had sex with him.”

“Really?” Beth asked, even though she wasn’t that amused and didn’t really care.

“Yeah like 20 minutes ago.” She paused and set her cup down on a nearby table. “In speaking sex and stuff, I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure I just saw Daniel going up the stairs with some random blonde.”

Beth gasped. “What? You’re lying.”

Carrie sighed. “Just go see for yourself.”

Beth nodded and stepped away from Carrie. She found the staircase and went up, though she didn’t believe Daniel would do such a thing. She remembered what Jennifer had said about him though and suddenly she began to think he might actually be doing something like that. 

The house was large, and there were many rooms with closed doors. She opened the first one on the right, but it was just a bathroom. She continued to open doors and accidentally walked in on a couple making out, but luckily nothing more than that.

She finally got to the end of the hall and the last door. She took a deep breath and turned the doorknob to open the door. Nothing could have been done to prepare her for the scene that was taking place. 

Daniel was on the bed shirtless on top of another girl with dirty blonde hair. They were violently kissing each other like Beth hadn’t just walked into the room. Beth soon realized that they hadn’t heard or seen her yet. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Beth screamed after standing in shock.

Both Daniel and the girl jumped and looked at the doorway.

“Beth?” Daniel asked, sounding more nervous than surprised.

Beth glared at the girl on the bed. “Get out right now.”

The girl didn’t waste any time leaving. She hastily put back on her shirt, grabbed her shoes, and ran out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

Daniel stood and walked up to Beth. “Hey, baby.”

Beth responded by slapping him in the face. “Go to hell!” Beth screeched before opening the door again and running out of the room.

She ran to the edge of the hall before seeing that the bathroom door was open. She went inside, locked the door, and began to sob on the toilet. 

Everything that she had done was for or with Daniel and now it was down the drain. She really was an idiot, what was she gonna say to her mother? God, she was so dumb. How could she have not realized and listened to Jennifer? Beth didn’t like to swear, but she knew she was fucked. 

Beth didn’t know how much time she spent crying but eventually heard knocking at the door. 

“Uh excuse me, is the bathroom occupied?” A male voice asked from outside.

Beth stood up and wiped the tears off of her face before opening the door.

Ryan, one of Daniel’s friends, was at the door. “Oh, thanks Be-are you alright?”

“Daniel cheated on me,” Beth said, sniffing.

Ryan frowned. “Yeah, he’s a dick like that. Honestly, I thought about saying something, but I didn’t want Daniel to kick my ass.”

Beth nodded. “It’s okay. Um, do you need to use the bathroom?”

Ryan turned pink. “Uh… well, not really, I was gonna uh…,” He trailed off but Beth got his point.

Beth didn’t know what she was doing, all she knew was that she was angry at Daniel. She grabbed Ryan’s face and kissed him harshly. He recoiled in surprise, but he gave in and wrapped his hands around her face, pushing her back into the bathroom. He closed the door with his foot and shoved his tongue in Beth’s mouth, which she gladly accepted.

Ryan’s hands traveled down from her face and down to her chest as he began to undo the buttons of her blouse. 

 

***

 

Beth found herself walking home alone again. After they had done it, Ryan offered to drive Beth home, but she said no and left as soon as she could. She didn’t know if regretted having sex with him, but she knew it was probably the only way to get back at Daniel. 

The lights were still off in the house when Beth got home, so Beth decided that she’d shower and go to bed, and then apologize to her mother the next morning. If she could work up the courage that is.

When Beth opened the front door and stepped inside, she immediately realized she wasn’t alone. She wondered if it was Ronnie, but when she took a few more steps into the house, she saw her mother sitting at the table, her face only illuminated by a couple of candles. 

Mary looked at her daughter but didn’t say anything. Beth’s knee began to buckle and she rushed to her mother before collapsing in her arms and crying. Mary stroked her daughter’s hair and let her cry it out. 

When Beth calmed down, she pulled up a chair next to Mary and sat down. Beth looked into her mother’s eyes expecting to find disappointment or anger, but they were genuinely concerned. 

“I-I I’m so sorr-sorry Mom,” Beth stuttered out.

Mary shushed her. “Take your time, sweetie,” she said gently. 

So Beth did. She told her mother everything. From first meeting Daniel to the events of earlier that night. She had never been really close to Mary, she had always been closer to her father until he left. As she talked, she realized that Mary was a good listener. She didn’t say anything and just let Beth keep going. Beth wished that she had a better relationship with her mother before all this had gone down.

When she was finished, Mary took Beth’s hands and smiled softly. “Honey, I know normally those things aren’t the kind of stuff you tell your mother, but you telling me these things right now, especially what has happened these last few months to our relationship, means so much to me, mo grá .”

Beth sniffed and nodded.

“I know you’re sorry, I can tell by the look in your eyes and I’ll be honest, it’s very easy to tell when you lie.” Mary laughed. “You blink too much,” she said, poking at Beth’s side. 

Beth giggled and shoved her mother’s hand away. 

“You need answers, I know that,” Mary continued. “I do not have those answers, but I can offer you forgiveness.”

Beth nodded again, her eyes beginning to water. 

“The Lord is there even when you don’t want him to be. He’ll always be there even when you mess up, and you told me that you’re unsure of him, but I can tell you you’re not alone in that. I had my doubts once. Your brother… I pray he starts going to church again.

Having inner peace with yourself and God will do amazing things for you, Elizabeth. He is there for you when no one else is, and I never want you to forget that.”

Beth looked at her mother. She was tired of Daniel’s world of chaos and peace sounded basically like heaven at the moment. Maybe yesterday she would have hated what her mother was telling her, but it made sense now. It was something to take to heart and hold close. 

“My grandmother, your great-grandmother Maura used to always say “Take peace to the heart and don’t let yer enemies taint it”. I never really understood what it really meant until I came to America.”

“Great-grandma Maura was smart then,” Beth muttered.

Mary nodded. “She was.”

“Mom?”

“What is it?”

“I think we should go to church tomorrow.”

Mary smiled. “I think so too.” 

Normally after going to church, Beth didn’t really feel anything, but after she and her mother and sister left the building, she felt at peace with herself.

Notes:

well at least beth realized she was with an idiot

also writing this was funny cuz i have ✨catholic guilt✨

Chapter 17: Woodstock and the Lucky Letter (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie and Jennifer attend Woodstock while Beth finds a shocking letter that changes everything

Notes:

yo yo

 

CW: Panic attack (they are different for everyone, mind y'all. take care guys :))

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 17: Woodstock and the Lucky Letter

 

Friday, August 15th, 1969



There was nothing to watch on tv, but Beth had nothing else to do. Ronnie had left with Jennifer on Wednesday to attend a music festival in New York, Shannon was on a play date with a friend of hers, and Mary was at work, leaving Beth alone and nothing to do. 

She now wished she was Ronnie, who was probably having the time of his life while she was stuck watching some old lady soap opera show. She decided just to turn it off and find something else to do. As she did, Laurie walked into the house. The door was unlocked during the day, but Beth was still shocked to see him waltz into the house.

Laurie walked into the home and went straight for the kitchen, acting like Beth didn’t even exist. Beth followed him and saw he was getting into the refrigerator.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Beth asked. 

Laurie looked up. “Stealing your brother’s beer,” he replied, taking a six-pack out of the refrigerator.

“Won’t he get mad at you?”

Laurie scoffed. “Yeah, of course, but I don’t care. He’s the one who’s having fun while I’m stuck here working.”

“Shouldn’t you be at work then?”

Laurie closed the refrigerator door and shook his head. “My boss’s grandkids are visiting from Fargo. Gave everyone the rest of the day off. He picked up the beer packs he had put on the floor and left the kitchen to go outside. As he set down the beer in the passenger seat of his truck, Beth saw the mailman walking towards the house. 

He walked up the driveway and handed the mail to Beth instead of putting it in the mailbox. 

“Thank you,” Beth muttered. 

“Have a nice day, ma'am.”

Beth nodded. “You too.”

Laurie had already gone back inside by the time Beth turned around. She huffed loudly and rolled her eyes before going back in. Laurie was sitting at the table drinking one of Ronnie's beers. 

“Anything in the mail?”

“Why do you care?”

Laurie shrugged. 

Beth went through the mail and saw the usual junk mail, bills, etc. Then one letter caught her eye. It was addressed to her brother, and the Selective Service System's logo was on it. Ronnie had been called for the draft. 

Her face paled. “Oh no,” Beth gasped lightly.

Laurie stood up and went over to where Beth was standing. He glanced over, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh, Jesus fuck,” Laurie said, the shock slipping from his mouth.

Beth went over to the couch and sat down, dropping all the mail except the letter. Her jaw dropped as she stared at the printed logo.

Laurie started pacing, messing with his hands and face. “Oh shit. He doesn’t even know. He won’t know until he gets back, oh fuck oh fuck,” Laurie muttered, clearly trying not to full-on panic.

“Can you please stop swearing?” Beth asked, her voice shaky. 

Laurie glared at her but didn’t say anything. 

Taking a deep breath, Beth stood up from where she was and went over to where Laurie was pacing. “He won’t know until he comes back.”

“I know, I just said that,” Laurie snapped.

Beth jumped at the sudden loudness.

“Sorry,” he muttered when he realized he scared her.

“How are we gonna tell him?”

“We?” Laurie laughed. “You and your mom will tell him, that’s not my job. My job is to comfort him when he finds out he’s now in the military.”

“You don't know that. What if he gets rejected?”

Laurie laughed without humor again. “Ronnie is a healthy young man who makes fucking minimum wage as a ranch hand. He's not rich, he's the son of immigrants, and he has no connections. None. Nada. Not to mention Mr. Zachriah Thomson is on the draft board for the county. If you'll recall, Ronnie broke his son's nose sophomore year. And again summer before senior year. He's fucked.”

Beth wanted to argue with him, but she knew he was right. How the hell were they going to break it to him?

 

Wednesday, August 20th, 1969

 

It was around 1 in the afternoon by the time Ronnie got home. He arrived in town earlier, but he had dropped off Jennifer first before coming home. He could barely remember what had happened at Woodstock. It was just a hazy dream filled with alcohol and drugs. All he could remember was that apparently, over 350,000 people had attended, maybe even 400,000, and there was no point in buying tickets after all, which pissed Ronnie off since he had spent over 36 dollars for them. He knew he had also met someone there, but he couldn’t remember their name, much less their gender.

He pulled up into the driveway and stopped the truck. He glanced into the rearview mirror and stared at his face. His eyes were so bloodshot, they looked like they were more red than white, and he had a faded hickey on his neck, which he assumed Jennifer gave him at some point, though he didn’t remember it.

He stumbled out of the driver’s seat and walked toward the front door, ready to pass out on the couch. He opened the door and eyed the couch like it was his favorite food, ready to crash into it. He started to go to it, but he heard his mother’s voice call out. 

“Ronnie honey, we need to talk to you.”

Ronnie looked over to see his mother and Beth sitting at the dining table. He dragged himself over to where they were sitting.

“Look, I’m really tired, can we talk after I take a nap?” Ronnie said, yawning.

Mary’s voice was shaky. “You need to hear this now.”

Ronnie sat at the head of the table and glanced at the women. He noticed that both of them had worried and sad faces.

“There’s no way to sugarcoat this, so I will tell you flatly,” Mary began. “You were called for the draft on Friday while you were in New York.”

Ronnie stared at her blankly. 

Beth handed Mary a letter that had already been opened. 

“The board letter arrived yesterday. I’ve looked at it already as you can see. You need to report to the draft board this Friday.” Mary said, tearing up while she handed the letter to her son. “Hopefully, you will be rejected.”

Ronnie took the letter and stared at it before dropping it on the table and standing. He stood very still and just stared ahead of him. He took a breath and then another and another until his breathing was very fast and erratic. 

“I got-got,” he started to say but couldn’t choke out the words. His face turned pale and started to shake.

“Ronnie?” Beth asked. 

Ronnie couldn’t hear, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t do anything. Although he was breathing hard, it seemed like it was getting harder to breathe and his head got dizzier by the second. He fell to his knees and hunched over.

Mary and Beth jumped out of their chairs and hurried over to him. Ronnie could vaguely hear them call out his name, but he couldn’t respond. He felt paralyzed. He started gagging and coughing, and he knew he was going to throw up.

Mary seemed to realize it too and ran to the kitchen to grab a bowl but it was too late. Ronnie threw up on the floor next to Beth, who jumped when he did. It seemed to slow his breathing, and Ronnie found himself able to stand again.

He looked at Mary and Beth who both looked at him in a mixture of fear and pity. He wiped his mouth and turned around heading back outside. 

“Ronnie!” Mary yelled as he walked away.

Ronnie ignored her and went outside and slammed the door. He climbed into his truck and started the engine. He didn’t know where he was driving to at first, but by instinct somehow, he found himself turning onto Laurie’s street. 

Laurie didn’t look that shocked when he opened the door. He just frowned and said, “They told you, didn’t they?”

Ronnie looked at his friend. “I don’t-I can’t… I just-”

Laurie interrupted him. “Hey, just come inside man.”

Ronnie nodded and entered the house. He sat down on Laurie’s couch and looked at him. “Why aren’t you at work?”

Laurie sat next to him. “Ma’s sick, the doctor said I should stay with her. She’s asleep right now.”

Ronnie nodded. “I assume Beth or Mom told you?”

Laurie shook his head. “No, I was at your house actually. I saw the letter with Beth.”

“Why were you at my house?” Ronnie asked, cocking a brow.

Laurie smiled sheepishly. “I was uh taking some beer.”

“What a great friend you are. Stealing beer while I’m out of state.”

“God, I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with right now,” Laurie said, changing the subject.

Ronnie sighed. “I feel like my insides have been turned inside out and shoved back into my body. I’ve practically been given a death sentence.”

“You know there’s a chance you won’t even actually be drafted.”

Ronnie stared at Laurie. "I think we both know that Mr. Thomson would love nothing more than to send my ass to the jungle.”

Laurie didn’t answer. 

“God, I don’t even know what to say to Jennifer. I haven’t even read the letter yet,” Ronnie said, swallowing.

“Are you gonna run to Canada?” Laurie asked quietly.

Ronnie stared at the floor. He knew recently they were cracking down on draft dodgers, so there’d be a pretty good chance that he’d be caught. He had once told himself that he wouldn’t run if he was ever drafted. Ronnie guessed he better honor that statement.

“No.”

Laurie looked at him seriously and grabbed his shoulder. “If you’re going to hell, then I’m going fucking with you.”

Ronnie brushed off Laurie’s hand. “Are you saying you’re gonna enlist? Laurence, are you fucking insane? God, please don’t. I don't even know where I'm going.”

“I think it would help me sleep at night if we were both screwed together.”

“And I thought I was the bat shit crazy one,” Ronnie muttered.  “Seriously, think about this, man. You were against the war yesterday, why now do you want to enlist? And please don’t tell me it’s because I got called for the draft. It’s been on your mind for a while, hasn’t it?”

Laurie nodded sadly. “I dunno, man. I ain’t got a lot here going for me, and I’ll probably never have enough money to go to college. Besides, you get free insurance in the military.”

“So, you’re telling me that you want to enlist because of the free insurance?” Ronnie asked, wondering if Laurie had lost his brain cells, or better yet, He and Ronnie had switched brains for the day. 

Laurie shrugged and gave a mischievous smile. “Well, I’m gonna quit my job right now,” he said, standing up and going over to the phone.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Alders,” Ronnie mumbled under his breath. "I hope I don't get drafted, and you end up going all by yourself," Ronnie then added quietly so he wouldn't hear him. 

Laurie dialed up his boss’s number and explained to him he was quitting so he could enlist in the United States military. Ronnie was pretty sure he heard his boss yell that he was an idiot over the phone. When Laurie finished, he sat back down next to Ronnie. 

“See? Now I have to enlist. Nice hickey, by the way.”

Ronnie sighed and rolled his eyes. “Hey, can I borrow the phone? I better tell my boss too… and Jennifer.”

Laurie nodded. “Go ahead.”

Ronnie went to the phone and dialed Thomas Gilman’s number, who was his boss.

“Hello?” Mr. Gilman’s voice said into the phone.

“Mr. Gilman, sir, it’s Ronnie.”

“Hello, Ronnie. Did you just get back from New York?”

“Uh yes sir, bu-”

Mr. Gilman interrupted him. “So tell me, how was it?” 

“Sir, I need to talk to you. Are you on your lunch break?”

Mr. Gilman chuckled. “Of course, if I wasn’t, Yvonne would have answered. What is it, son?”

Ronnie swallowed. “I got called for the draft. Pretty good chance I'll get drafted.”

Mr. Gilman went silent. He sighed into the phone. “I see.”

“I just found out myself.”

“I assume you’re calling to quit then?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Ronnie, I want you to know that you’ll be in Yvonne and I's prayers, and I enjoyed our time together.”

“Thank you,” Ronnie said before hanging up. He knew he should have probably stayed on longer, but it sounded like Mr. Gilman was near tears.

He then dialed Jennifer’s number and waited for someone to answer. 

“Hello?” Mrs. Parker asked into the phone.

“It’s Ronnie. Can I speak to Jennifer?”

“Oh honey, she’s very tired from you guys’ trip. She’s asleep. You’ll have to call back.”

“Please, it’s important,” Ronnie begged.

“Is it life-changing?” Mrs. Parker asked, not amused.

“Yes, it is.”

Mrs. Parker sighed. “What happened, Ronnie?” she asked, sounding a bit more concerned.

“I got called for the draft while we were at Woodstock. I'm supposed to see the draft board in two days.”

Mrs. Parker gasped. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Ronnie. I’ll... go get Jennifer.” 

Ronnie heard her set the phone down and leave. He waited for another few minutes before Jennifer piped into the phone.

“What, Ronnie?” Jennifer asked groggily. “I was asleep.”

Ronnie sighed. “Yeah, your mom told me.”

“She said it was important, and she looked worried. Are you okay?”

“No,” Ronnie admitted.

“What happened?” 

Ronnie swallowed. “I uh got called for the draft.”

Jennifer dropped the phone. Ronnie heard it clink on the floor, but she quickly picked it back up.

“You were what?” Jennifer asked, her voice hoarse.

“While we were at Woodstock. I got drafted while at an anti-war festival. What are the odds?” 

Jennifer was now crying. “Ronnie, wha-what are we gonna go?”

“I don’t know,” Ronnie admitted.

Jennifer cried harder to the point Ronnie thought he was gonna start feeling tears come out of the phone. He heard static and a background voice.

“Ronnie, thank you for letting us know. I know this was hard to do,” Mrs. Parker’s voice suddenly said.

“Yeah. I uh have to go,” Ronnie mumbled. He knew he’d probably burst into tears if he stayed on the line any longer.

“Goodbye, honey.”

“Bye,” Ronnie muttered as he hung up the phone.

Laurie came up to Ronnie. “You done?”

Ronnie nodded, wiping his face.

Laurie slapped Ronnie’s shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go get a drink. I know it’s only 2 in the afternoon, but I think you need it.”

“I need a lot more than a drink, Laurie,” he said as they left the house.

There were only a few bars in town, so they ended up bar hopping across Madison, Winside, and Norfolk, the towns in the same county as Ridge's Creek or the nearest one. Norfolk was the largest town between both counties and therefore had more bars, so Ronnie and Laurie ended up spending multiple hours there.

Around 9, they got kicked out of a bar for being too rowdy and drunk, so they decided to go home. Ronnie, who could hold alcohol better than most, drove while Laurie tried not to throw up in the back. It was stupid driving while so intoxicated since Ronnie could barely see 5 feet in front of him, but it was better than Laurie driving, who would have crashed the truck.

Ronnie dropped off Laurie and drove home, at this point, he could barely see, but he knew his way home like the back of his hand, so it didn’t bother him that much. He was also too drunk to care. 

After struggling to get his door open, Ronnie got out of his truck. He nearly fell when he got out and had to clutch the car door for support. He stumbled towards the front and started looking for his keys to unlock it, but remembered his mother left the door unlocked until she went to bed. He grabbed the knob and turned it before walking into the house. 

Mary, Beth, and Shannon were sitting on the couch. 

Ronnie laughed. “Full house.”

Mary turned. “Oh, thank God you’re back,” she said standing up to greet him. She started to hug him but smelled the alcohol and took a step back. “You’re drunk.”

“I think I deserve a drink, Mommy. I’ll probably get fucking killed in the jungle in a few months from now.”

“Ronnie, watch your mouth, Shannon’s right here,” Beth called out from where she was sitting.

“Shut up, Elizabeth.”

Mary sighed. “Honey, I know you’re upset and you have every right to be, but please don’t take it out on your sister.”

Shannon heard the commotion and decided to go over to where Ronnie was standing. “Hi Ronnie!” she shouted. 

Ronnie grimaced. The last thing he needed was someone yelling right next to him. He glared at his sister. “Shut. Up.”

Shannon made a face. “Why?”

Ronnie didn’t know if it was because he was drunk or just pissed off, but he snapped. “It’s fucking because I’m probably going away, Shannon. And who knows how long I’ll be gone. I don’t want to go, but I have to. Do you know what that’s like? No, you don’t because you’re 7, and you don’t have to worry about any of the bull shit I’m going through. So, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Ronnie yelled harshly. 

Both Mary and Beth stared at him in shock. He had never yelled at any of them like that before.

Shannon’s lips quivered, and she started to cry.

Mary glowered at her son “What the hell is wrong with you?” She turned to Beth. “Go upstairs and take your sister with you, please.”

Beth hurried over and picked up Shannon. Shannon was heavy, so it took her a minute to do it. She shot Ronnie a nasty look before heading up the stairs with the crying child. 

Mary turned back to Ronnie. “You come home drunk, you are rude to me, you swear, and you yell at your sister, who is 7 years old. She doesn’t understand what’s happening. I know you’re upset, but don’t you dare take it out on any of us,” Mary reprimanded, her voice calm yet stern.

“I’m 19,” Ronnie replied, clutching his head because the room was starting to spin.

“I don’t care, you still live under my roof, and if you think being a smart ass will get you out of this, think again. Go apologize to your sister.”

Ronnie stared at his mother. His vision wasn’t the best at the moment, but he could see her disappointed face. He hated it when she made that face. It made him feel bad about everything he’s ever done. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped, but he couldn’t help himself. He had all this fixed-up anger and melancholy, and he didn’t know what to do with it. 

“I-I uh, I’m sorry,” Ronnie stammered, his voice breaking.

Mary's disappointed face turned into a worried one. “Honey.”

Ronnie’s knees buckled, and he fell on them. And then he did something he hadn’t done in a very long time. He cried. Not like a couple of tears. No, it was full-on sobbing. The last time he had done that was when he was 6.

Mary rushed down to her son and wrapped her arms around him. Ronnie just cried in her shirt. 

“I don’t wanna go,” he cried.

Mary rubbed his back and held his head. He couldn’t see it, but she was crying too.

“I don’t wanna die for some stupid war.”

Notes:

you guys have no idea how hard it was to find exactly how people were drafted in the Vietnam war prior to the lottery. I thank the random vets on Quora for answering.

poor ronnie :( oh wait i was the one who did that to him. i love being God. Laurie's a good friend.

For Context

Woodstock: A music festival held August 15–18, 1969, on Max Yasgur's dairy farm in Bethel, New York, 40 miles southwest of the town of Woodstock. Billed as "an Aquarian Exposition: 3 Days of Peace & Music" and alternatively referred to as the Woodstock Rock Festival, it attracted an audience of more than 400,000. Thirty-two acts performed outdoors despite sporadic rain. (Wiki)

36 Dollars: 273.48 in today's money

Chapter 18: The Ring (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie, faced with the fact he's screwed, sees Jack and makes a big decision. Laurie makes one too.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 18: The Ring

 

Wednesday, August 27th, 1969



Beth was looking forward to starting the school year, though she was worried about Ronnie. People already knew and had offered their condolences to her. It was sweet, but after a while it got annoying. She didn’t like to be constantly reminded that her brother had a good chance that he could be deployed into Vietnam.

She was talking to Carrie and Delilah about the whole thing in the morning. Carrie and  Delilah both nodded and said they knew how it felt. Beth knew Delilah was being sincere since her brother had gotten deployed 4 years ago, but Beth didn’t think Carrie really knew how it felt since her brother Curtis had just run away, but she didn’t say it out loud.

“I have something to tell you,” Carrie said, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” Beth asked.

“Curtis got caught by Canadian and American authorities, so he’s being deported back here where he’ll face desertion charges,” Carrie said, her voice breaking. “He might go to jail.”

Delilah and Beth hugged their friend. 

“Hey, it’s okay. There’s probably a bunch of people who are getting caught too so maybe they’ll be too busy to punish him that harshly,” Delilah said gently.

“Yeah, he’ll probably be fine,” Beth added.

Carrie wiped at her eyes and nodded. “Thanks, guys.”

Beth smiled at her friend until she looked behind her and saw Daniel. The smile melted into a frown.

 Beth hoped she could somehow avoid Daniel for the entire school year and after the first two days it seemed to be going okay, but today, her luck ran out. She hoped that he didn’t see her, but he caught sight of her and started walking over.

“Daniel’s coming, you should go,” Beth told her friends.

They both nodded and left. 

“Hey Beth,” Daniel said when he got to her. 

“What do you want?” Beth said harshly.

“Look, I want to say I’m sorry for everything, and I’m just a real asshole.”

“You’re now only realizing this?” 

Daniel didn’t reply to that. “C’mon Beth, I promise I won’t do that ever again. 

Beth glared at him. “You nearly ruined my life and relationship with my mother. I hope you rot in hell.” She turned around and walked off, leaving Daniel alone. “Good riddance,” she muttered under her breath. 

 

***

 

A week had passed since Ronnie was given the worst news of his life. He had gone to the draft board on that Friday, and to no one's surprise, Ronnie was drafted after being deemed perfectly eligible to serve. He had hoped some of the board members would take pity on him, but he swore he saw Mr. Thomson smile evilly as he signed away the approval. At least Mike would have his revenge. Ronnie was to be conscripted into the United States Army. He then received another letter explaining that he'd have to show up for duty in September or face charges.

He had spent most of his time in his room alone. He didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Being alone gave him time to think, especially about his future. All his plans or ideas he had thought of were now pointless. 

He had no idea what he and Jennifer were gonna do. Their relationship had been pretty easy and only a couple of bumps along the way. Now there was a mountain in the way. He heard a knock on his door, which interrupted his thoughts.

“Yeah?” He called out.

“It’s me,” Mary’s voice said from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Mary opened the door. “Hello.”

“Hi, Mom,” Ronnie replied.

“Mr. Parker just called. He’d like to have you over for lunch.”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “Is this a prank?”

Mary laughed. “No, he sounded sincere. You are dating his daughter, you should go.”

“Okay fine, I’ll go,” Ronnie said, standing up from his desk. 

It turns out Mr. Parker did want to have lunch. Ronnie thought it was a trap, but when Mr. Parker opened his door, he hugged Ronnie. At that moment, Ronnie decided that Mr. Parker had been kidnapped and had been replaced by an alien clone. 

“Come inside, son,” he said, ushering Ronnie into the house.

Yep, definitely replaced by an alien clone, Ronnie thought.

Ronnie learned that Mrs. Parker was out doing groceries, so it was just going to be him and Mr. Parker. Boy, he was looking forward to that. Mr. Parker had made burgers for lunch though, which immediately made Ronnie forget everything he had been thinking about before. He could forgive anyone if they offered him a good cheeseburger. Well, maybe not everyone. 

“You’re probably wondering why I invited you for lunch, especially since you and I haven’t been the closest,” Mr. Parker told Ronnie after they finished eating.

Ronnie nodded as he lit a cigarette. 

“I assume your plans for the future have been significantly ruined after the events of last week.”

“Well, I didn’t have much plans to even begin with, Mr. Parker,” Ronnie said, inhaling cigarette smoke.

“You can call me Jack,” Mr. Parker said.

Ronnie’s cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth. “Really?”

Jack nodded. “You’ve been seeing Jennifer for 5 years, we’re practically in-laws.”

“Huh,” Ronnie muttered.

“In speaking of Jennifer, she’s the reason why I asked you over.”

“When does she leave for Maryland?” Ronnie asked. He knew Jennifer had gotten accepted to the University of Maryland but was stuck on the waiting list.

“She got in for the next semester, so she probably won’t leave until December.”

Ronnie nodded. “I wish I had gone to college now. I probably wouldn’t have been less likely to be sent on active duty.”

“Life’s not fair sometimes.”

Ronnie scoffed. “You can say that again.”

“Were you planning to propose to my daughter?” Jack asked in a serious tone.

Ronnie looked down and tapped his cigarette on the ashtray on the table. “I… was. But not until she has at least one year of college done. But now… I don’t know.”

Jack nodded. “I proposed to Georgina after I learned I was being sent towards active duty in ‘42. We had only started dating about 6 months before. I have no idea why she said yes, but 27 years later, here we are, as happy as we could be.”

Ronnie put out his cigarette. “Are you suggesting that I propose to Jennifer?” He asked, quite dumbfounded that out of all people, Mr. Parker would suggest it. 

“My daughter loves you, and you love her, and with all the recent events happening, I can guess that it has crossed your mind.”

“It has,” Ronnie admitted.

“I know you probably think I’m mean at times, and Jennifer’s joked that you’re scared of me. Well, I hope she's joking.”

Ronnie smiled. “Yeah she’s joking, don’t worry.”

“I trust you to take care of my daughter and be there for her even when times are bad. Jennifer’s no longer a little girl, and I told you when we first met to not break my little girl’s heart. Can you still promise me that now?”

Ronnie nodded. “I promise.”

Jack gave him a sad smile. “You have my permission to marry her, whether now or a decade from now.”

Ronnie just sat there. Jack was now letting Ronnie call him by his first name and had just given him permission to marry his daughter. Maybe his luck hadn’t fully run out yet.

Jack and Ronnie stood up from the table. Ronnie looked at him before hugging him. Ronnie never thought he’d ever do that, but here he was. 

“Thank you… Jack,” Ronnie said when he let go of him.

Jack smiled kindly. 

Mary hugged Ronnie so tightly when he informed her he decided he was gonna propose to Jennifer that he thought he’d pass out.

“I can’t believe my baby is getting married!” Mary squealed excitedly after letting him go.

“Well, I need to propose to her first, Mom. And get a ring.” He sighed. “I have no idea where I’m gonna get the money to buy a ring. I’ll probably have to get a loan or take out money from the bank.”

“Oh that’s okay, I have a ring!” Mary exclaimed.

Ronnie raised a brow. “Mom, I’m not using your wedding ring.”

Mary shook her head. “No, no, no. My grandmother gave me her wedding ring because she had no daughters. It’s beautiful.”

“Why am I now just finding out about this?”

Mary blushed. “Oh well, I was planning to give it to one of your sisters, but now that I think about it, I think it’d be more appropriate to give it to you.”

Ronnie nodded.

“Stay here while I’ll go get it,” Mary said as she went to her room.

Ronnie chuckled at his mother’s excitement. 

After a couple of minutes, Mary came back out holding a small box covered in blue velvet in her hands.

“Nice box,” Ronnie muttered.

Mary smirked and opened it, revealing the ring. It was a gold band with a small red gemstone fixed at the center. It was simple yet elegant.

“Is that a ruby?” Ronnie asked, taking the box from his mother and looking at the ring. 

Mary shook her head. “It’s a garnet.”

Ronnie looked up. “Hey, isn’t that January's birthstone? I think Jennifer mentioned it to me once.”

“Oh, I forgot her birthday is in January. What are the odds? Well, that makes this the perfect ring then.”

“Plus it’s free,” Ronnie added.

“Where are you going to propose?” 

Ronnie shrugged. “Probably the old oak tree since we’ve got a lot of memories there. 

Mary smiled and looked at the box in his hands. “Promise me you won’t lose this.”

“I promise.”

 

***

 

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Barbara yelled.

Laurie winced. “I enlisted, Ma.”

Barbara looked as if she was gonna rip her hair out. “Why? I thought you were against the war.”

Laurie stood up from the couch and took his mother’s hands. “Well, for one thing, no way in hell was I gonna let Ronnie go to hell all by himself.”

“You’re a good friend, baby, but I don’t want to lose another person I love to some pointless war. I lost your father and my brother over 18 years ago, but I don’t know what I would do if you died too,” Barbara pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

Laurie looked at his mother. Being a single mother had been hard on her and even with pension checks she got from the military, she struggled to make ends meet. Laurie was proud of her for raising him all alone. He felt bad that he was doing this to her, but he didn’t think he had anything here.

“Ma, even if Ronnie hadn’t gotten drafted, I probably would have still enlisted. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I ain’t got anything going for me here. I know I was planning to save up for college, but working on ranches will never get me the money I need to go. And besides, you can use the money I’ve saved up to buy things for yourself. You deserve it.”

Barbara looked at him before pulling him into a tight embrace. “Promise me something then.”

“Yeah, Ma?”

“Come home safe and sound.”

Laurie smiled sadly. “I’ll try.”

Notes:

jack??? being nice???? what is this????

Chapter 19: A Simple Goodbye (Vol I, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie proposes, and he and Laurie leave for basic.

 

last chapter of part ii!!!!!!

Notes:

here we go fellas

 

CW: Usage of a slur, and this chapter's pretty tense, so watch out

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 19: A Simple Goodbye

 

Monday, September 1st, 1969

 

 

Today was the big day. Today was the day Ronnie would do it. Today, Ronnie would propose to Jennifer. He was nervous and excited but mostly nervous. He had asked her to meet him at the tree around 5:30, so the sky would have a pinkish tint when he asked her the big question. He was impressed by how romantic it was when he thought of it.

Jennifer had agreed to come and also said she had something to tell him too. Ronnie didn't know what, but it was probably nothing important, so it didn't bother him. It was more than likely something about her college plans. 

He was leaning against the thick trunk, waiting for Jennifer to come. The prairie grass had yellowed in the August sun, so underneath the sunset, it looked gold. Ronnie found it made the setting a bit more romantic than it usually looked. 

Eventually, he saw a figure walking toward him around 5:42. His heart started pounding as she got closer. 

“Hey,” Jennifer said when she got to the tree. She was wearing green pants and a cropped yellow halter top, which exposed her toned stomach. Her long hair was done into two braids, resting over her chest.

Ronnie smiled and stood up straight. “Howdy.”

She walked over to where he was standing, stepping on his shoes.

He smirked as he leaned down to kiss her. It was only a quick peck though, Jennifer moved away as soon as Ronnie touched her lips. He then gave her a puzzled look.

“It’s nothing,” she muttered. “So, what do you need to talk to me about?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“Well, I'm leaving on the 15th for military service,” he began, rolling his shoulders back. 

Jennifer nodded sadly.

“And... we might not see each other for a while. I mean, you’re going off to college soon anyway, so we would have already been separated.”

“Yeah,” Jennifer muttered.

“Jennifer, the last 5 years with you have been the greatest years in my life, and being with you means everything to me. We've had our ups and downs, but look at us now. We weren't voted the 1967-1968 Ridge's Creek High School’s best couple for no reason.”

Jennifer laughed. “I was so embarrassed when I found out everyone voted for us.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure some of the girls were miffed about that.”

“Tell me about it. They wouldn't fucking shut up about you like it was some miracle that you picked me.”

Ronnie laughed. “Believe me, it's the other way around.”

She smiled sadly.

“Back to my point, I don't know when I'll see you again, and hell, it might not be for another two years. You're someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I know I said I wouldn’t do this until you had at least a year of college done, but with me going to the army, I know I need to do this now.” 

Jennifer stared at him in utter shock as he got onto one knee.

“Jennifer Myra Parker,” he began as he pulled out the box from his jean jacket and opened it.

She took a step back.

He looked at her. “Will you marry me?”

Jennifer looked dumbfounded. She stared at the little and back at Ronnie multiple times before speaking. “I... uh-I,” she stuttered. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I can’t, Ronnie.”

Ronnie dropped the little box. “What?”

She opened her eyes, and Ronnie saw she had tears in them. “I came to break up with you.”

Ronnie thought he was gonna pass out from the shock. He felt himself grow faint as he stood back up.  “What?” He asked again.

Jennifer swallowed. “I love you, I really do, but I’m not ready for marriage. I wanna see places before I decide to settle down and marry.”

“We-we can wait as long as you want. I don’t give a fucking shit,” Ronnie uttered.

“And we’ve only been with each other, Ronnie. I’ve never dated or seen anyone else really except you.”

Ronnie's eyes narrowed as he took a step toward her.  “What do you mean by “really”?”

Jennifer looked him straight in the eye. “It wasn’t me who gave you that hickey at Woodstock.”

Ronnie blinked. “Excuse me? What do you mean by that? Did we-did I do something?”

Jennifer shook her head. “It doesn’t matter now. I wanna see the world, and I don’t want to be tied down by marriage or serious commitments like that. You’ve cheated on me before.”

“Cheated? Cheated?!” Ronnie was upset now. “That was 3 and a half fucking years ago. I was 16, and I was manipulated. I didn’t even have sex with Grace! Are you still upset about that? After I’ve done everything to earn your fucking forgiveness!” 

Ronnie then spat on the grass. “You're just fucking using this as an excuse to tell me all the shit I've done, and why you'll be so happy when you're fuckin' single. Please, tell me, other than the fact I kissed a girl almost four years ago, that you're breaking up with me. Don't tell me it's because I'm leaving.”

Jennifer tucked one of her braids behind her ear. “You are so cocky and fucking egotistical. You are so annoying that sometimes I wanna box your fucking ears. Oh, and you must feel so special that you're not racist and so open-minded because you asked me out in this fucking shit hole.”

Ronnie shot right back. “I asked you out because I liked you. I asked to marry you because I love you. It has nothing to do with that.”

“So you don't even sometimes feel like you're some white savior, and how good a person you are?”

Ronnie stared at his girlfriend. “Is that the kind of person you think I am?”

“No,” Jennifer admitted. “But I'm fucking sick of everyone thinking that. I am my own person, with culture and history. I'm not just Ronnie's freakishly tall Injun girlfriend.”

He sneered. “You wanna talk about culture? Says the fucking person who is so ashamed of who she is that when someone asked if you were an American Indian, you told them you were Mexican. I fucking remember that. You don't invite me to any of the traditional stuff your family and people do. Even your fucking dad has. But it always seems like you don't want me to go and make up some excuse for me why I can't. I live not even an hour from the Omaha reservation, and I barely know anything about them. Funny, considering my girlfriend is one of them.”

If Jennifer wasn't pissed before, she was definitely pissed now. “Says the fucking the Irish person. All you guys do is eat potatoes and blow shit up. Almost every time I go to your house, your mother usually has something potato-related. Not to mention your daddy was in the IRA.”

“Shut the fuck up. At least I'm proud of my heritage.”

Jennifer didn't answer. 

Ronnie took a deep breath, calming down. “If you felt this way before, why didn't you say something?”

Jennifer looked down at her feet. “I was... I was okay with it.”

“And not anymore?”

Jennifer looked back up, her expression softer now. “I love you, I do, honestly, but we’ve known each other since we were six and seven. There are millions of people out there that we don’t even know about. What are the odds that our soulmates live here in a town of 3,000?”

Ronnie picked up the box and shoved it back in his jacket pocket. 

She continued. "I didn't know you were proposing."

Ronnie's Adam's apple bobbed. “So, this is it then?”

A tear rolled off her cheek, and she nodded. “Goodbye, Ronnie,” she spoke softly.

“Bye, Jen,” Ronnie whispered back, feeling his lips start to tremble.

More tears spilled. “Please don't Jen me.”

Ronnie looked down, feeling his eyes water up. 

She turned quickly and left. She walked down the hill towards the path at the bottom. She continued to walk away, not even looking back.

Ronnie watched her walk away until he couldn’t see her anymore with a clenched fist. He had spent 5 years with her, and now it was down the drain. He glanced at the tree trunk and their carved initials he made so long ago. He felt rage flush to his face. He marched over to the trunk and punched it as hard as he could.

His fist was immediately met with pain as soon as it made an impact, but he couldn’t care less. He turned his back to the tree and sat down. He watched the wind blow the prairie grass before starting to cry. 

Tears rolled off his cheeks as he let out his anger, frustration, and devastation. 

 

Monday, September 15th, 1969

 

Ronnie spent his last two weeks at home moping in his room. But on that Monday morning, he didn’t feel depressed or heartbroken, he felt ready to leave this shit hole town. 

Saying goodbye to his family was the hardest. Mary, Shannon, and Beth all had stayed home from work and school. Mary cooked a big breakfast full of Ronnie’s favorite breakfast food. They ate silently, with the radio playing in the background. 

They finished eating and both Beth and Ronnie helped Mary clean up. Beth took forever to clean the dishes because she knew he’d leave when they were done. 

Ronnie promised himself he wouldn’t cry, but he couldn’t help tearing up at the sight of his mother and sisters crying as they hugged and kissed him goodbye. 

“If you don’t come home, I’ll kill you,” Beth threatened, tears running down her face.

Ronnie chuckled sadly. “I promise.”

Shannon hugged his legs and wouldn’t let go. “I’m not letting you go. You have to stay,” she cried out. 

Eventually, Mary had to pull her off of him. She looked at her son and gave him a sad smile. “I love you, mo stór.”

“I love you too, Mom,” Ronnie said, his voice choking up. He gave her one last hug as a car horn honked outside. “That’s Laurie,” Ronnie muttered. “I should get going.”

He picked up his duffel bag on the floor, opened the front door, and came outside. The girls followed. Mrs. Alders’ car was waiting on the road. Mrs. Alders was driving him and Laurie to the bus stop where it’d take them to a boot camp in Texas. 

Ronnie gave his family a final wave before heading towards the car and getting in. Laurie was sitting in the passenger seat, so Ronnie had the back to himself. Mrs. Alders gave Ronnie a sad smile as she drove away from his house. He turned around and watched Mary, Shannon, and Beth get smaller and smaller until Mrs. Alders turned and he couldn’t see them anymore.

He took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes. 

“Okay, honey?” Mrs. Alders asked.

“I will be, thanks for asking Mrs. Al- I mean Barbara.”

Laurie sniggered. 

“Um, can we take a pit stop somewhere? I need to say goodbye to someone.” Ronnie asked.

Barbara nodded. “Of course, Ronnie, where exactly?”

“The Lotus Flower.”

“Okay, I know where that is.”

Barbara drove for a few more minutes before pulling into the restaurant’s parking lot. 

Ronnie got out of the car. “I’ll be no more than 10 minutes,” he said, before leaving. He walked towards the entrance and opened it. It was empty since it was a Monday morning and the place had just opened for the day.

“Hello?” He called out as he stepped inside.

Mr. Tran’s head popped out from the hallway leading to his office. “Ronnie?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yes, it’s me,” he said, switching to Vietnamese.

Mr. Tran walked out. “Are you leaving today no?”

Yes sir.”

Mr. Tran shook his head. “No need to speak Vietnamese, you’ll probably have lots of time to practice in a few months.”

Ronnie chuckled. “Yeah.”

“What can I do for you?” Mr. Tran asked.

Ronnie smiled sadly. “I wanted to thank you for everything. You took me under your wing, gave me a job, and taught me a language that’ll be really useful if I get deployed. I know I complained about it, but you were right all along.”

“I guess in a way you’re like the son I never had,” Mr. Tran said, smiling warmly.

Ronnie was touched. “That means a lot to me, Mr. Tran.”

Mr. Tran walked up to Ronnie and hugged him. “I will miss your help around here the most.”

Ronnie smirked. “Haha.”

Mr. Tran let go of him and stepped back. Ronnie could now see he had tears in his eyes. “Goodbye, Ronnie.”

Ronnie nodded, swallowing down a sob. “Goodbye.” He turned around and left the restaurant as a tear trailed down his face. He got back into the car. “Thanks, I’m ready to go now.”

Barbara nodded and drove away from the restaurant. The car ride to the bus stop was quiet. There was no music playing and no one spoke. Ronnie just looked out the window the whole time, watching cows and grassy fields pass by. 

When they arrived at the stop, the silent atmosphere of the car changed. Now Barbara couldn’t stop crying. She kept hugging and kissing Laurie and even would do the same to Ronnie. Laurie tried to calm her down, but it just made it worse. When she did finally calm down, she gave both of them another hug. 

“You guys better write, or I’ll get your mom and we’ll kick both of y’all’s asses down there,” she said, her voice shaky.

“Ma, I already promised a thousand times. As soon as I can write I will, okay?” Laurie said, exasperated from trying to get his mother to stop crying.

Barbara sighed and looked at Ronnie. “Keep an eye out for him.”

Ronnie nodded. “I will.”

Barbara gave the boys one last look before getting into her car and starting it. She rolled down the window and waved at them. They waved back as she drove off. When she was gone, Ronnie turned to Laurie and noticed he was silently crying.

“You okay man?” 

Laurie nodded and wiped his face. “Yeah.” 

“You know, I’m surprised Imogene isn’t here,” Ronnie said, trying to cheer up his friend.

Laurie laughed. “Yeah, I told her I was leaving on Wednesday.”

Ronnie laughed as well.

Laurie picked his duffel bag up from the ground. “Let’s go get tickets for the Greyhound.”

Laurie went to go buy the tickets while Ronnie sat on the benches. He watched various people walk by until a tall black man around his age walked up to him.

“Hey man, do you mind if I sit here?” He asked politely.

Ronnie shook his head. “Nah, it’s cool. Here, lemme move my bag,” he said, picking up his bag from the bench and moving it to the ground. 

The man sat down and pulled a pack of Marlboro. “So, where are you going?” He asked, lighting a cigarette

“To the army,” Ronnie sighed. “Can I have one?”

The man nodded. “Sure,” he said as he handed Ronnie the box and his lighter.  “I am too. You got drafted or did you enlist?”

“You think I’d willingly join the United States military?”

The man laughed. “Yeah, me too.” He held his hand out. “I’m Jake Norman.”

Ronnie shook it. “Ronnie McKittrick.” He took out the cigarette in his mouth and pointed to Laurie, who was still buying tickets. “That’s Laurie, but unlike us, he willingly enlisted.”

Jake raised a brow. “Is he stupid?”

“Yes, extremely,” Ronnie said, all serious.

Jake laughed. “Well, it’s nice knowing someone on the way to hell.”

“Cheers to that, man,” Ronnie mumbled, but he doubted Jake heard him. 

Laurie came over and handed Ronnie his bus ticket. He looked at Jake and then back at Ronnie. “Making friends already?”

Ronnie snorted. “This is Jake, Jake, that's Laurie. He got drafted too.”

Laurie nodded as he shook hands with him. “Nice to meet you.”

Jake nodded. “You too.”

Laurie sat next to Ronnie and sighed. “You guys ready?”

Jake and Ronnie spoke at the same time. “No.”

“Well, yeah me neither.”

 

End of Part II

Notes:

well... what y'all think?

ok i'm sorry i laughed when i wrote the potato part. my poor meow meow

 

For Context

Mo Stór: Irish for 'my darling'

Marlboro: cigarette brand

Chapter 20: Homefront (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

half of this part is told in letters so have fun

 

Ronnie and Laurie adjust to being in Vietnam, while Beth and Mary eagerly wait to hear from him.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Part III: War

October 19th, 1969 - December 23rd, 1970

 

 

Chapter 20: Homefront

 

Sunday, October 19th, 1969, Camp Bullis, Texas

 

 

Dear Mom, Shannon, and Beth, 

 

After 6 weeks of pure hell, I am officially army trained and a private. They finally let us write home today, so here I am. Laurie is looking over my shoulder right now, he says hello. 

 

They gave me a pretty groovy job. I work the radio and send out messages and receive them. They’re coded of course. This also means I get to hear and see things most people here wouldn’t ever be told, and my ranking officer says if I blab one thing, he’d cut off my ear and tongue. I think he’s serious. 

 

I know I should have mentioned it earlier, but I’m being shipped out to Vietnam in a week. One of the officers heard I could speak Vietnamese and now my whole platoon is going. I hope I’m not the reason why. It’s an 18-month deployment, which means I’ll be home in May ‘71. I miss you guys very much and I’ll try to write as much as I can, but my hand is already hurting from writing this one, so…. 

 

Sincerely, Priv. Ronald “Ronnie” Patrick McKittrick Jr.

 

PS- Hug Shannon for me.

 

Friday, October 24th, 1969, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska

 

It had been almost seven weeks since Beth last heard from Ronnie. Mary said it was normal since during military training they weren’t allowed to write, but Beth hoped a letter could come by now since training was supposed to last only six weeks. 

She had gotten her license after Ronnie left and started using his truck to drive to school, but it smelled like cigarettes, so Beth was hoping she could sell it for a better car. She drove home, ready to sleep in, and ignore her math test on Monday.

She pulled up into her driveway and turned the truck off. She got out and headed towards the mailbox to check for mail before going inside. She opened the box and saw various papers and envelopes inside. She pulled them out and started to go through them as she headed toward the house. 

One letter caught her eye and she grinned. She ran towards the front door and opened it. “Ronnie sent a letter,” she exclaimed. 

Mary, who was home early since Shannon had caught a cold, looked up from the couch and smiled. “Really?” She stood up and hurried over to her daughter. “Let me see.”

Beth handed the letter to Mary as she set down the rest of the mail on the small decor table next to the front door. Mary sat back down on the couch in the living room and waved Beth over. 

“Come here, we can read it together.”

Beth dropped her backpack on the floor and hurried over to her mother. She sat down and Mary opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. She unfolded the paper and started to read it out loud.

When she finished reading it, she set it down on the coffee table and turned to Beth. “18 months,” she said, frowning.

Beth patted her mother’s shoulder. “Hey, that just means we’ll have to count down the days until he gets home.”

Mary smiled. “What would I do without you?”

Beth shrugged. “No idea.”

“Well, I better reply as soon as I can if he’s leaving for duty soon,” Mary said, standing up from the couch. 

 

Sunday, November 2nd, 1969, South Vietnam

 

November 2nd, 1969

Dear Ma,  

 

We landed in ‘Nam two days ago. So far I’ve learned that it’s always raining, mosquitos are terrible, and Vietnamese food actually is far out. I’m friends with most of the people who landed with me, so it ain’t so lonely. It does bug me when Tony and Isaac, some of the dudes, start singing horrible versions of The Beatles songs. 

 

Ronnie is really liked by the locals, especially the girls. It’s probably because he can speak their lingo, but Harry, one of the guys in our platoon, said it’s because he’s a “hunk”. (cue eye roll)

 

Also, since I’ve arrived here I’ve already gotten 2 letters from Imogene. She won’t leave me alone and even going to the other side of the world doesn’t help. Could you tell her it’s a hopeless cause? Please?

 

Your son, Laurie

 

“You done writing your letter to your mommy?” Ronnie asked, looking over Laurie’s shoulder. 

Laurie scowled. “Fuck off, McKittrick.” 

Ronnie just laughed. Tony, who was sitting next to Laurie, peered over his shoulder too. 

“Hey, you’re writing about me too, amigo!” He gave Laurie a pouty face. “You really don’t like my cover of Back In The U.S.S.R.?”

Laurie glared at him. “No, no I don’t.”

At the moment, Ronnie and Laurie were sitting around a campfire surrounded by various members of their platoon, mainly the ones they had become friends with during training. 

Other than Tony Martinez and Jake Norman, who had also been assigned to the same platoon as them, there was Harry Tan, Wyatt Stark, Basil Anwar, Bobby Walker, and Isaac Rosenberg. They had all shared bunks during training and bonded because of this. 

“You know, I can’t believe I don’t know this but do y’all got sweethearts back home?” Tony asked.

Harry replied immediately. “Yeah, her name’s Mei, she goes to college in Phoenix, she wants to be a nurse or something.”

Wyatt shook his head. “Nah, I never dated in high school. I was the guy girls would cheat on with their boyfriends.” He laughed.

“Oh, so you were a dick then?” Tony asked.

Wyatt nodded as the rest of them laughed. “Yeah pretty much.”

“Well, you guys know about Imogene,” Laurie said, shoving his letter into his pocket. 

“I wish I had a girl that’s totally obsessed with me. I don’t know why you’re so annoyed about it,” Isaac said, reaching out and flicking the back of Laurie’s head.

“Trust me, I wouldn’t mind if it was anyone but Imogene,” Laurie told him, rubbing the back of his head where Isaac had flicked him. 

“You got a girl Bobby?” Harry asked.

Bobby, who had been quiet this whole time, shook his head. “No, and I’m not interested in dating right now anyway.”

“You Jake?” Tony asked.

He nodded. “Name’s Sarah, we’ve been dating for two years now.”

“My parents are arranging for me to marry this girl Fatima when I come back,” Basil said after Jake stopped talking.

Tony cocked a brow. “You’re getting an arranged marriage? Ha! Wait, aren’t you like super rich though, can’t you get out of it?”

Basil shook his head. “Well, it’s my parents’ money, not mine. It’s not so bad though. She’s hot.”

Tony snorted. “What about you Ronnie? You mentioned you had a girl once.”

Ronnie gave Tony a look. “I did. Until she dumped me when I proposed two months ago.”

They were all silent until Bobby said something. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“Oh, stop raining on the parade, McKittrick, besides Bian’s coming by,” Isaac retorted.

Laurie perked and looked up. “Where?”

As he said that, a girl with long loose black hair walked by carrying a clay vase. She looked at the boys before blushing and giggling. Ronnie rolled his eyes as he lit a cigarette. Laurie and Isaac continued to ogle at her until she walked away.

“I really wanna see her tits,” Isaac said as soon as she was out of earshot.

Laurie nodded in agreement.

“You know, you don’t have to wait until she’s out of earshot,” Harry said. “She can’t speak English.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Besides Rosenberg, I think Alders’ into her too,” Jake muttered.

Isaac looked at Laurie. “Sharing is caring, right?”

Laurie snickered. “Sure.”

 

Wednesday, November 12th, 1969, Ridge's Creek, Nebraska

 

November 12th, 1969

Dear Ronnie, 

 

Mom and I were super excited to see your letter arrive. I know since then, Mom has written back, but I’m only writing to you now. 

 

According to Mrs. Alders, you’ll see this in about two weeks from now, so I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.

 

The house is quiet other than Shannon doing her usual antics. The school year has also been pretty uptight and the exact opposite of a good time. (You were right, Mrs. Fueller is a nightmare.)

 

I saw Jennifer today too, she was at the store buying a new suitcase. I said hello, and she looked like she didn’t want to reply but did out of common courtesy. I told her that you were shipped off, and it looked like she wanted to care, but couldn’t. Then she said she was finally leaving Ridge's Creek for college in Maryland. Interesting I guess.

 

Ms. Barbara told me that Laurie said that all the girls like you over there. I don’t see why people would go after you, but maybe a difference in culture means different tastes in men? I miss you lots, and if you don’t come home on time, I will personally burn your corpse to ashes. 

 

Much Love, 

 

Beth

 

P.S.- Do you sleep in huts or tents? 

P.P.S- Can I have your room if you die? 

 

Thursday, November 27th, 1969, South Vietnam

 

“Beth finally sent a letter,” Ronnie said to Laurie.

Laurie looked up from his dinner. “Can I see?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Sure.”

Laurie quickly skimmed through the letter and handed it back to Ronnie. “Just in time for Thanksgiving.”

Ronnie nodded. “I miss turkey.”

“Me too.”

“So,” he said, with a mouthful of bread. “Did you get a letter?”

Laurie nodded sadly. “Another one from Imogene. Did you know I get letters from her two to three times a week? It’s driving me fucking bananas because I have to reply to every single one of them.”

Ronnie just laughed. “I’ve said this once, I’ll say it a hundred more times. It is your own damn fault.”

Laurie just scoffed.

Notes:

Obviously, since we're in actual wartime, there will be more distressing scenes ahead.

 

For Context

Camp Bullis: military training camp established in 1917 near San Antonio, Texas

Hunk: 60s slang for hot guy, beefy, whatever

Back in the USSR: Beatles song

Chapter 21: Nguệt (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie hits the city and meets a girl

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 21: Nguyệt

 

Thursday, December 25th, 1969, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



December 25th, 1969

My Dearest  Son, 

 

Merry Christmas mo stór! Well, of course, you presumably won’t be reading this until after the new year, so Happy New Year as well.

 

We all miss you very much and were so happy to see your second letter arrive. (I’m glad to hear that all the locals enjoy your company). Shannon asked about you yesterday. I started crying, and Beth had to calm me down. I'm counting off the days until you come home. 

 

So, tell me more about camp life. Do you bunk with others? How is Laurence? Is your job exciting? I remember when you were small and used to play army with all your little friends. Here you are now actually doing it. 

 

Are there any pretty girls there? It would be so good for you to meet someone and get over Jennifer. She did not deserve you and she should not let you down. You are perfect, or how Beth calls it, “Boss”.

 

Tell me everything, mo grá. Mama loves you so much and can’t wait for her baby to be here. And do Mama a favor, okay? Please go to the church services they offer. It would be good for you. And stop smoking sweetie.

 

Love, Mama

 

Friday, January 2nd, 1970, South Vietnam

 

January 2nd, 1970

Dear Mom, 

 

Happy New Year to you as well and thanks for the letters. And to answer your pressing questions, I do bunk with others, Laurie is currently losing a poker game, my job is okay I guess, depending on the situation, and I suppose there are some pretty girls there. 

 

Tomorrow We’re going to Hue. It’s about a 3-hour ride, and some of the locals are coming with us. In speaking of locals, in the village we’re stationed in, only about 12 or 13 speak fluent English (out of 3,000). 11 of them are men. I met one of the only girls who can speak fluent English yesterday actually. Her name is Nguyet. (Pronounced Nuh-way, it’s also technically spelled Nguyệt, but the e thingie is hard to write.) She already knew who I was, “The white boy who can speak our tongue”. I think she speaks the best English so far, her accent is not thick at all. She told me that her father taught English at a school, and he taught her. 

 

Apparently, there’s a lot of stuff to do in Hue. I’ll send a picture with my next letter. And Mom, no, I am not going to the church services they offer. The nearest camp with a Catholic priest is 3 hours away anyway. Sorry, but I think Jesus will understand. I’ve also saved some of my cigarette buds from the past few days to send to you. I hope they bring you stress relief as they do for me. 

 

Until Next Time, Ronnie

 

PS- Tell Beth I sleep in both huts and tents, and no, she cannot have my room if I die 

 

Saturday, January 3rd, 1970, Hue, South Vietnam

 

The ride to Hue was long and bumpy. Ronnie sat next to Laurie and Nguyệt, the English-speaking girl he only met a few days ago. She was nice enough, but he caught her staring at him a few times when she thought he wasn’t looking. Normally he would have said something if a girl was staring at him, but after Jennifer had heartlessly dumped him, girls were the last thing on his mind. Today was Jennifer’s birthday too, to make matters worse.

When they arrived in the city, Ronnie’s commanding officer, Lieutenant Pope, got out of the truck first and started talking.

“Alright, we have 5 hours here before we ride back. Alders and Norman, you’re with me. Everyone else, if you’re not back right here in 5 hours, we will leave regardless. McKittrick, translate that for the locals.”

“Yes sir,” Ronnie reluctantly muttered before translating what Lieutenant Pope had said. 

“Why do I have to be stuck with him?” Laurie whispered to Ronnie as they got out of the truck back.

“I feel bad for Thuy, the translator going with you.”

Laurie nodded. “Me too. Well, I just can’t wait to see Bian when I get back.”

Ronnie snorted. “She’s probably screwing Isaac right now.”

Laurie shrugged. “We agreed to not speak about it as long as we got an equal amount of time with her.”

“You’re weird.”

Laurie left with Lieutenant Pope and Jake, while everyone else dispersed to do their own thing. Ronnie technically was free for the rest of the time after picking some documents, so he decided to get that done first. 

Hue was a large city, with a population of well over 100,000. Two years prior was the Battle of Hue, one of the bloodiest battles in the war so far. It was near the border of North Vietnam, and often there were damaged areas from the American, Viet Cong, and North Vietnamese bombing. It wasn't the safest city to be at, but it was the largest city near where Ronnie was stationed. 

The streets were crowded. Full of vendors selling things and the occasional American soldier marching by. The sky was clear, showing the start of the dry season. Ronnie had learned that this part of Asia didn’t really have seasons, but a wet season and a dry season. He had dealt with rains and mud nearly every day since he had arrived, and was glad to experience sunny skies.

Ronnie went around a market looking at the various foods and spices they sold. He got some stares, but when he asked a vendor how much were the bananas he was selling, the vendor nearly fell in shock.

You speak our language? ” He asked, still recovering from his shock.

Ronnie nodded, “Um, yes.”

Are you a translator of some sort?”

No, though I am forced to be one.”

The vendor laughed. “You are funny, American.

Most of his interactions with other locals were similar. They were either surprised he could speak the language or very impressed. He walked past a tattoo shop and stopped. His mother was heavily against getting tattoos, but Ronnie had always wanted one. Deciding this would probably be one of his only chances, he entered the shop. 

Hello?” He asked, entering the shop.

A man around his age, maybe a bit older appeared. “You speak?”

Ronnie nodded. “Can I get-,” he started to ask but then remembered he didn’t know the Vietnamese word for tattoo. 

“Tattoo?” The man asked in English, with a thick accent.

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah.” He looked at the wall, which had various pictures of designs. One with a dagger through a red carnation caught his eye. “Can I get the one with the knife through the flower here?” He asked, pointing at his left arm, just below his shoulder.

The man nodded. He pointed to the chair. “Please sit down.”

Ronnie sat down and prayed this wouldn’t take more than a couple of hours.

Luckily it only took a few hours, so when Ronnie left, he still had some time left. His arm hurt now, but he didn’t care. The tattoo would look sick when it healed, and Ronnie could take the bandages off. He decided to go back to the market and walk around there for the last remaining hour. While walking around, he ran into Nguyệt, who was buying vegetables.

“Hello,” he said. “What are you doing?”

Nguyệt looked over and blushed when she saw Ronnie. “Um, I am buying vegetables.”

Ronnie nodded. “I can see that.”

“What are you doing?” Nguyệt asked, after paying and leaving the vendor’s stand.

Ronnie followed. “I don’t know. I had to pick up some papers earlier, but I’ve spent the last several hours walking around and in a tattoo shop.” He then pointed at his bandaged arm. “See?”

Nguyệt nodded. “What did you get?”

“A dagger going through a flower.”

Nguyệt’s interest perked up. “I love flowers,” she said smiling. “What kind of flower? My favorites are chrysanthemums.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a carnation.” 

“I like those too,” she said, looking down. She then looked back up, but Ronnie could see her cheeks were now slightly pink. “You’re very fortunate that you can speak our tongue,” she replied, turning around and starting to walk ahead of him.

“So I have been told. Besides, I’m pretty sure the truck leaves in another 45 minutes, so we should find our way back now in case we lose our way,” Ronnie said, checking his watch.

“Okay,” Nguyệt called out as she slowed her pace to match Ronnie’s. 

When they finally found the truck, they had 8 minutes to spare, and everyone else was already there. Laurie saw Ronnie and walked up to him. 

“You almost missed the ride home,” he said, trying to contain a smile.

“Well, I got lost, and Nguyệt over here had to go buy something, so quit trying to hide that shit-eating grin.”

Laurie smirked and then looked at Ronnie’s arm. “What happened?”

“I got a tattoo.”

Laurie nodded. “That’s cool. Your mom is gonna kill you when she finds out.”

Ronnie shrugged. “Well, she ain’t here, is she? Besides, she won’t see this for over another year.”

Laurie smiled and walked away leaving Ronnie alone with Nguyệt. She was short, and only reached Ronnie’s lower shoulder, so he assumed she was only 5 feet or so. Her skin was a bit lighter than Jennifer’s but still had a copper-yellowish tan to it. Her eyes were dark brown and when she smiled, they nearly disappeared, but Ronnie thought it was cute. She had bangs that were swept to the side and had a small mole on her left cheek, below her mouth. 

“I’m sorry I almost made us miss the truck,” Nguyệt said shyly, looking down.

Ronnie sighed. “It’s fine, we’re here, that’s all that matters.”

Nguyệt then pulled out something from her woven bag. “I bought this for you.” She opened her palm, revealing a small wooden elephant.

Ronnie was surprised. “Oh, uh thank you,” he said, taking the elephant from her. “Is this why we were almost late?”

Nguyệt’s face turned red as she nodded. 

“ALRIGHT, EVERYONE BACK IN!” Lieutenant Pope yelled.

Ronnie got back in the truck and found himself sitting between Laurie and Nguyệt again. This time, Nguyệt refused to look at him and just stared at her feet the whole time. Ronnie thought she was acting weird, but it didn’t dawn on him that she probably liked him until a couple of days later.

 

January 4th, 1970

Dear Ma, 

 

Thanks for the sunglasses you sent me. I look very sick wearing them. Well, the girls think so. I met a girl actually. Her name is Bian Nguyen, and she hardly knows any English. I don’t mind at all though, because words ain’t needed for when we uh… you know what. 

 

We went to one of the larger cities they have yesterday. Everyone just walked around and looked at stuff. It was funny because no one knows what each other is saying, and the closest thing locals here can speak to English is French. Sometimes the translator has to speak Vietnamese and French before he can translate to English. Boy, I am glad Ronnie can speak it. He also got a tattoo, but don’t tell Mary. 

 

And about the Imogene thing….. You’ve made it worse. I get about two letters EVERY week. Do you know much she must write then? I have to reply because she’ll think I’m dead and then everyone will go to our house and give you their condolences and whatever. AND I AM NOT DEAD!!! Now I have to deal with it for the next year and a half. I miss you. 

 

-Laurie

Notes:

fun fact Nguyen is the most common name in Vietnam. 1/4 of the population has the lastname.

 

For Context

Sick: 60s slang for cool

Chapter 22: Rivers (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

Beth gets grounded, Ronnie plays with fire on his birthday

Notes:

greetings

CW: Sexual references and content

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 22: Rivers

 

Saturday, January 17th, 1970, Ridge's Creek, Kansas.



“Hey Mom, a letter from Ronnie arrived!” Beth called out. 

Mary peeked her head out of the kitchen. “Let’s see it then,” she said, wiping her hands on her apron and going over to Beth.

“I think he sent us something,” Beth said as she handed her mother the letter. “I can feel stuff inside the envelope.”

Mary opened the envelope and nearly fainted on the spot.

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Beth asked, reaching out to grab her. Beth peered into the envelope and saw at least two dozen cigarette buds along with a folded piece of paper. “Did he?” She laughed.

Mary, who was now muttering curses in Irish, glared at Beth. “Are you laughing?”

Beth stopped laughing immediately. “No…”

“Oh go upstairs, you’re grounded!”

Beth scrunched her face in confusion. “Why?!”

“You think this is funny?”

Beth looked down. “Maybe.”

Mary pointed towards the staircase. “Go. Now.”

Beth groaned and rolled her eyes. She took Ronnie’s letter since she still wanted to read it and dragged herself upstairs.

“I saw that eye roll, you watch yourself, young lady,” Mary called out as Beth entered her room. 

Beth slammed her door shut. She glanced at her brother’s letter in her hands. 

“Ronnie, I hate you,” she muttered as she sat down to read the letter and eventually write her reply.

 

January 17th, 1970

To My Least Favorite Brother,

 

We got your letter today. Mom’s face turned red when she saw your cigarette buds enclosed with the letter. She started swearing in Irish and seemed to forget that you’re in another country. I thought it was funny. Then I got in trouble for laughing, so I’m banned from the phone, drive-in, and having fun, which means all I can do is write to your sorry butt. I hate you.

 

You also look terrible with that buzzcut. I know that they made you shave it off, but you look like a square with no hair. It’s nice to see that it’s starting to grow back out again. And who’s this New-way or however you spell it girl? Is somebody in lovvvvve? Anyhow, because I have no one else to talk to, you get to hear about ALL of my problems.

 

Carrie and I are no longer friends. 12 years of friendship gone down the drain just like that. Why may you ask? I caught her messing around with my ex-boyfriend Daniel. Yep, that devil. She literally watched what happened to me. Does she not care? Delilah took my side though, but she lost Carrie’s friendship doing so. I’m grateful that she did that for me. 

 

Well, I’ve concluded people are crap, and Ridge's Creek is an utter shit hole. Nice, I sound like you. At this rate, I won’t be surprised if I wake up with black hair and balls. Though, I’d rather be a prostitute than you.

 

Sending much love and angst, Beth

 

P.S.- I‘m eligible to graduate high school this year. I know Mom can’t afford college, but I could go to typing school in Omaha, Des Moines, or Kansas City. What do you think I should do?

 

Saturday, January 31st, 1970, South Vietnam

 

“Haha, Beth got grounded,” Ronnie said to Laurie after finishing the letter. 

Laurie snickered. “Are you gonna write her back?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, I have nothing else to do, and I’m done with dinner anyway.”

“Have fun.”

“Thanks. If you want me, I’m in my cot smoking weed.” Ronnie had found it was super easy to get drugs here and took full advantage of it. 

 

January 31st, 1970

My Undearest Sister, 

 

I’m exhilarated to hear about Mom’s reaction. She hasn’t written to me since, and I’ve noticed that all letters I get now are in your or Shannon’s terrible handwriting. What’s it like to no longer be the favorite child? And tell Mom I love her in a baby voice.

 

And no I am not in “lovvvvve” Beth. But I think Nguyet has a crush on me. It’s kind of cute but kind of annoying. I mean she’s better looking than most of the girls here, so I’ll admit I have flirted a little bit. But I’m not in the mood to be in a relationship right now. Yes, I’m still not over her. Before you tease me, you’ve never even been in a proper relationship. (Daniel does not count.) Anyhow, tomorrow’s my day off, and I’m going swimming with some friends. 

 

I think you should go for early graduation. It’ll look good on a resume and you’ll have a higher chance of getting a scholarship for a university. Typing school sounds good too. If you need money, I can send some back with my next letter because I’m such a good big brother. 

 

I didn’t mention this in the letter I wrote to Mom, so I need you to tell her. In 13 days, my platoon and I are heading towards active duty. It’s a 2-week march, and I won’t be able to write during that time, so this is probably the last letter you’ll hear from me for a month or so. Since I interpret wireless transmissions, I’ll be out of the firing zone for the most part, so no need to worry about me. I’ll write as soon as I come back, so you can read it in time for Mom’s birthday. 

 

About Carrie…. She’s a bitch and punch Daniel in the face since I can’t. Or write him a draft letter to scare him. That’d be funny. I bunk with a guy named Wyatt, and Jesus, the man snores so loud the tent next to us can’t sleep either. It’s around 11 at night, and I’ve gotten about 30 total minutes of sleep this week. I’m pretty sure Hell has better accommodations than here. 

 

Peace and Love or whatever the hippies say, Ronnie

 

PS- I’d rather be a prostitute than be you too. 

 

Ronnie set the letter down. Wyatt was still snoring as loudly as ever, so he doubted he’d get any sleep. 

“Hey Ronnie, are you awake?” Tony called from the other tent.

“I’m in the same tent as Mr. Snores-A-Lot, of course I’m still awake.”

Tony snickered. “Well, I’m looking forward to having the day off tomorrow.” 

“Me too.”

The river was on the outskirts of the village, and often many people came there to swim, wash clothes, or just hang out. Several of the girls in the village had also decided to swim with them, including Nguyệt. 

Harry was probably the only person swimming, while everyone else flirted, or tried to since the girls couldn’t speak English. Tony and Basil had given up after a bit and joined Harry in the deeper part of the river. 

Isaac and Laurie had a little more luck, but considering they were after the same girl, not really. Ronnie stood knee-deep in the water just watching the chaos ensue. It was entertaining, what could he say?

Today was his 20th birthday, but he hadn’t said anything to anyone, and he wasn’t planning to. He was surprised Laurie didn’t remember but was glad he didn't. He wasn’t in a festive mood.

He waded a little deeper until the water at his stomach. It reminded him of Galveston when Jennifer had forced him into the cold water. Thinking about her made him upset, he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Unlike the water in Galveston, it was warmer and browner. It was also freshwater and didn’t have a salty smell. 

“What are you doing?” Nguyệt asked behind him, clearing away any thoughts he had of Jennifer.

He turned around. “Watching free entertainment.”

She waded closer to him. “And what is that?”

“Girls swimming in their underwear, Tony, Basil, and Harry trying to drown each other, and seeing who Bian will sleep with today: Laurie or Isaac.”

She giggled. “You know Bian can speak English as well as I can, she pretends she doesn’t because she thinks it’s funny watching Laurie and Isaac flirt with her.”

Ronnie laughed. “Really?” 

Nguyệt nodded. 

“She’s your cousin, right? I heard someone mention it once.”

Nguyệt shook her head and laughed, but this time answered in Vietnamese. “No, she’s my twin sister. We are very close.

Switching up the language I see,” Ronnie said, wading towards the middle of the river, where it was the deepest. “Makes sense. She looks like you. Only taller.

Nguyệt followed him, but she was only about 5 feet or so, which was way shorter than he was, so she had to start swimming while he was still walking. Ronnie could touch the bottom when he got to the middle, but the water was now right above his pecks. He looked over to Nguyệt, who was treading water. He cocked a brow at her.

“Are you seriously shorter than the water?”

She splashed water at him. “No, but if I touch the bottom, water would cover my eyes.”

“How short are you?”

“I don’t know it in feet, but I’m 153 centimeters.”

Ronnie nodded. “I’m gonna assume that’s very short.”

Nguyệt laughed. “Yes, yes it is.” She swam closer to Ronnie.

“What are you doing?”

She touched his arm. Normally he would have shaken it off, but her hands weren’t cold, and he found that he missed being touched by a girl.

“I’m tired of swimming, and you are tall,” she said, batting her eyelashes at him. It was obvious she was flirting. 

Ronnie stared at her. Her breasts were practically on him. “How old are you?” he asked quietly.

“18, 19 in July.”

They continued to stare at each other until Ronnie realized they were both waiting to see who would make the first move. He decided he would and leaned down to kiss her. Nguyệt immediately reacted and kissed him back. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Ronnie broke the kiss and started to attack her neck, but he heard splashing and cheering. He looked up to see Tony, Harry, Basil, and Laurie cheering at him.

“Whoo! Good for you, McKittrick,” Tony called out.

Ronnie groaned. “You know anywhere private?” he asked Nguyệt.

“Yes, follow me,” she said, breaking away from him and swimming towards the shore. 

Ronnie followed her. 

Isaac, who must have seduced Bian for today, was on the shore with her, chuckled. “Have fun.”

Ronnie raised his middle finger in reply. He followed Nguyệt to a small hut the size of his room back home. “Is this yours?”

Nguyệt nodded and dragged him inside. As soon as the door was closed, Ronnie grabbed Nguyệt and kissed her again. She stuck her tongue in his mouth. He wrapped his tongue around hers and started to walk towards her bed. 

She let go of him and stepped back. She unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor. She sat on Ronnie, who was now sitting on her bed. Her breasts were larger than Ronnie thought.

“This a great birthday present,” he muttered, kissing her neck.

“Today is your birthday?”

He nodded.

She blushed. “Oh well, happy birthday.”

“Have you ever had sex?” He asked, grabbing her right breast and squeezing it.

She groaned quietly and shook her head. “You can show me,” she said, as she slipped her hand into Ronnie’s shorts. 

 

Saturday, February 14th, 1969, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska

 

“I didn’t mention this in the letter I wrote to Mom, so I need you to tell her. In 13 days, my platoon and I are heading towards active duty. It’s a 2-week march, and I won’t be able to write during that time, so this is probably the last letter you’ll hear from me for a month or so. Since I interpret wireless transmissions, I’ll be out of the firing zone for the most part, so no need to worry about me. I’ll write as soon as I come back, so you can read it in time for Mom’s birthday,” Beth read aloud from Ronnie’s letter, which had just arrived. 

Mary sighed. “Oh my poor, miserable baby, he’s probably scared to death right now.”

“Yes sure, he must be,” Beth muttered.

Mary held her hand out. “Can I see the whole letter?”

“Uhh... no,” Beth said, putting the letter to her chest.

“Why not?” Mary asked, raising a brow.

Beth smiled at her. “That’s between me and my dear big brother.”

Notes:

For Context

153 cm is 5 ft

Chapter 23: Children of Men (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie gets a big shock. So does Mary.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 23: Children of Men

 

 

February 14th,  1970

Dear Ronnie,

 

It’s Shannon your sister. I miss you, AND I LOVE YOU A LOT. Mommy and Beth say that you cant write back for a while. Write as soon as you can please. 

 

Mommy says we missed your birthday, so happy birthday, Ronnie 

 

Shannon

 

P.S. I hate 2nd grade. We have to learn cursive, and I'm really bad at it.

 

February 14th, 1970

My Dearest  Son, 

 

I know I have not written since you thought it was so funny to send me those horrible things, but since you are going into active duty, I just had to write to you. 

 

Barbara says that you won’t see this until you get back, but I don’t believe it. They’ll find a way for me to send letters to you. It already kills me waiting for two weeks to hear your reply. 

 

Barbara and I regularly have lunch together now, we often talk about you boys and the horrors of war. I hear Laurence has become quite the ladies’ man. Maybe he can set you up with some girl, or you like that girl you wrote about in the last letter to Beth. You’re so cruel to flirt and not actually mean it. Shame on you! 

 

I wanted to read what you said, but Beth refused to let me see it, saying it was a personal matter. What are you talking about, young man? I don’t care if you just turned 20, you still technically live under my roof. Watch yourself, or I’ll come down there myself. 

 

I can’t tell you how much I want you here. It’s going to be strange celebrating Easter without you. It almost still feels like yesterday when I could still hold you in my arms and sing to you while you were sleeping. 

 

Love, Mama

 

P.S.- We’re sending you a care package, be on the lookout for it.

 

Monday, March 2nd, 1970, South Vietnam

 

Ronnie was exhausted. The past two weeks had been a nightmare he was ready to forget about. He had just gotten the letters from his mother and Shannon, which cheered him up a little bit. 

He sat in his cot, drying off since he had just taken a shower. He pulled on a white tank top and the uniform standard cargo pants. He stood up and left the tent to smoke, but as he walked outside, he saw Nguyệt coming towards him. 

“Ronnie, I need to speak with you,” she said, her voice antsy.

Ronnie looked at her. Her face was pale and had a mixture of worry and fear on her face. Ronnie’s face softened, and he spoke gently. “What is it?”

She looked down and rubbed the lower part of her stomach. “I-I am..,” she began, but Ronnie interrupted her. 

“Why are you rubbing your stomach, are you in pain? Are you-” It then dawned on him. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

Nguyệt nodded, still looking down.

“Oh fuck.” 

 

March 3rd, 1970

Dear Ma, 

 

We arrived back at the village last night. I saw all the letters you wrote and sadly, the ones Imogene wrote to me. Actually being on the front line is something so entirely different than just the occasional gunshot. I saw people get injured and two men die. They were my age and were supposed to go home next month. It really put this war in perspective for me. God, I can’t wait to go home. (Before you say it, I know it was my choice.)

 

Ronnie came up to me earlier looking visibly startled. I didn’t know why, and I wish I still didn’t. I’m telling you this because this is too big to keep to myself. Please don’t say anything to Ronnie’s family because he’ll literally kill me if someone other than him tells them. 

 

Ronnie got a girl pregnant. She’s already about a month along and doesn’t want to get rid of it. I’ve never seen him so stressed out. Well, maybe except when he was about to propose to Jennifer, who promptly rejected him and dumped him. I feel bad for him sometimes, but right now, I think he should have been more careful.

 

He’s gonna talk to the ranking officers later after they have their meeting. I told him it was nice knowing ya since if the officers don’t kill him, his mom will. Mary McKittrick is one of the most terrifying people to see angry. I can see her flying over here to hit him with a broom or something. 

 

Anyway, back to my life and problems. I think Bian, the girl I’m seeing, doesn't like me anymore. Well, she definitely likes Isaac more than me. I don’t know why since Isaac’s only talent is being able to sleep through Wyatt’s snoring. Well, now that I think about it, that is an impressive talent. I’m okay though, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. I’ll write as soon as I hear more about the Ronnie problem. 

 

Love you, Laurie

 

Ronnie smoked quietly in front of the campfire near the tents. Laurie, who was walking by, saw he was alone, and joined him.

“Did you speak to the officers?” Laurie asked, sitting next to him.

Ronnie nodded.

Laurie slapped the back of Ronnie’s head. “You’re the stupidest idiot in the history of stupid idiots.”

Ronnie took his cigarette out of his mouth. “I know.” He then stood up and threw his cigarette on the ground before stepping on it. “I got some letters I need to write.”

 

Thursday, March 19th, 1970, Ridge's Creek, Nebraska

 

Beth was doing homework in her room when she heard a thud from downstairs. She stood up and opened her door to see her mother unconscious in the living room. She immediately rushed down the stairs.

“Mom? Mom, are you okay?” Beth asked, shaking her mother’s arm. 

“I will be physically. Mentally, I cannot say,” Mary said, sighing from the floor.

“What happened?” 

Mary didn’t say anything and just handed Beth several pieces of paper. She recognized the handwriting and smiled. 

“Oh, it’s Ronnie, what’s wrong with that?”

Mary took a deep breath and stood up. “Read it.”

Beth looked at the letter and began to read it. 

 

March 4th, 1970

Dear Mom, 

 

I have something to say that will probably change the rest of our lives. I’ve done something that I should have been more careful about, and I was not. I’m sorry.

 

Do you remember the girl I wrote to you guys about? Nguyet? Well, I….. got her pregnant. She’s already a month in, and I found out yesterday. There are 3 things I can do. I can ignore it and pretend it isn’t mine, the village leaders can have her married off to some guy in the village, or I can marry her and eventually bring her back home with the child. 

 

I know you're upset with me obviously and would, of course, want me to take the third choice, but I don’t know what to do or how to do it. I didn’t think I liked this girl that much, but I’ve grown a soft spot for her. She’s so different from Jennifer, and I think maybe I do have feelings for her. 

 

I’ve talked to multiple people, and I’m allowed to marry her and eventually do the paperwork for immigration to home. I think I’ll propose to her. We’re heading to the city in two days for reasons I can’t say, but I’ll buy the ring there. 

 

Can you please not say anything to Beth or anyone else until things are official? I’ll write a reply as soon as I can so you’ll see it only a couple of days after seeing this one. 

 

-Ronnie

 

“Oh, shit,” Beth managed to stammer out after she finished reading his letter. 

Mary, who was usually very anti-swearing, just nodded. “Oh, shit indeed.”

Beth knelt and started looking through the mail Mary had dropped. “It’s been a couple of days since we’ve checked the mail, maybe he will have already written a reply.”

Mary didn’t say anything and just made her way to the couch, muttering, “My God, my poor son, what have you gotten yourself into?”

“Found it!” Beth exclaimed, after finding another envelope with Ronnie’s handwriting on it.

“Can you read it out, please? Unless it’s bad news. Then lie,” Mary said, sighing. 

“Okay Mom,” Beth muttered as she opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. It was very short. With only a sentence written. 

 

March 6th, 1970

Dear Mom and Beth, 

 

She said yes. 

 

-Ronnie

 

“She said yes!” Beth cheered.

Mary turned towards Beth. “Seriously?” She asked, now curious.

Beth nodded happily. “Come see for yourself.” She stood up and went to the living room. 

Mary took the letter from Beth and looked at it. Her frown turned into a huge grin. She set the paper down and looked at Beth. “My baby’s getting married.”

Beth sat next to her mother. “You’ll be a grandmother in a few months too.”

“I look forward to hearing news about my grandchild.”

“You’ll also be a young grandma. You’re 44, and your youngest is only 7, about to be 8 in two months.”

Mary glared at her and playfully smacked her arm. “You’re worse than your brother sometimes, I swear.”

Notes:

Ronnie do be an impulsive dumbass tho. I think it's funny how fast Mary's mood changes

Chapter 24: Wedding Bells in the Jungle (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie, age 20, gets married.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24: Wedding Bells in the Jungle

 

Friday, April 10th, 1970, South Vietnam

 

 

Ronnie couldn’t believe it. He was now a married man. And not only was he a married man, but he was also a father-to-be. He didn’t feel any different though. If anything, he had just added a whole list of responsibilities he hadn’t had a few days before. 

The wedding was nice. Everyone had the day off, and a Catholic priest from another army camp a few hours away came to officiate the wedding. Nguyệt was Buddhist, as were most people in the country, but she didn’t seem to mind having a Catholic wedding. Ronnie wouldn’t have minded if they had a Buddhist wedding, but he knew his mother would kill him if he didn’t get married in the church, so he complied with her wishes. 

Ronnie didn’t know most of the people at the wedding, and he felt it was odd getting married in front of a bunch of strangers. The party afterward was the best part. There were people, music, and food, the latter two being Ronnie’s two favorite things. He watched Nguyệt dance with her friends and family as he ate with Laurie.

“I can’t believe you're married now,” Laurie said, taking a bite of his food. 

Ronnie nodded. “Me neither, man.”

“You’re lucky, you get to sleep in a hut instead of sharing a tent with Wyatt.”

Ronnie laughed. “A definite upgrade.”

Laurie looked at Nguyệt. “Guess brides don’t wear white here,” he said, nodding at Nguyệt’s wedding dress, which was red ao dai, a traditional Vietnamese dress. The red was supposed to ensure luck in the marriage. She also had worn a headpiece called a khăn vân, but she had taken it off shortly after the ceremony.

Ronnie just wore his formal uniform, which he had only worn once when he had finished training and there was a ceremony. It was hot out, so wearing it made him sweat, but he doubted wearing a sweaty tank top and camo pants was a good idea to wear to his wedding.

He saw Bian, who was wearing a pink ao dai, coming toward him and Laurie.

“Hey, it’s Bian,” Laurie said, swallowing the rest of his food and wiping his face. Bian had started spending more time with Isaac, but Laurie was still hopeful that she would end up choosing him.

“Hello,” she greeted.

“Hi, Bian,” Ronnie replied.

“You know, you are my brother-in-law now.”

“Wait a minute, you can speak English?” Laurie burst out.

Bian blushed. “Yes, Nguyệt’s my sister, what would make you think that she speaks English, and I couldn’t?”

Laurie’s face turned red. “I thought you guys were cousins. Okay, but if you can speak fluently, why did you pretend you couldn’t?”

“I can answer that one for her,” Ronnie interjected. “It’s funny.” 

Bian giggled. “Yes, it was.”

“That’s so mean,” Laurie muttered.

Ronnie put a hand on Bian’s shoulder. “I can see that we’re both dicks. You and I are gonna get along great.”

Bian gave him a confused look. “Dick? I thought it was slang for…,” she trailed off, alluding to the word.

“Oh, it is, but it can also be used to call someone a jerk or an asshole,” Ronnie said.

“Oh. Good to know.”

“Uh oh, Pope’s coming over,” Laurie pointed.

“I better go. Bye,” Bian said, going back to her sister.

Lieutenant Pope came over to the two of them. They both immediately saluted.

“At ease,” he said.

Ronnie and Laurie relaxed. 

“So, how are you enjoying yourselves,” he asked them.

Laurie shrugged. “I like having the night off, sir.”

“Well, it’s my wedding night, I should be enjoying myself, sir,” Ronnie replied. 

Pope smiled. “That’s how I felt at my wedding. Well congratulations, McKittrick,” he said, before leaving them.

Laurie looked at Ronnie. “Did he just smile?”

Ronnie nodded. “That was the most terrifying thing I’ve seen in my entire life.”

“It was so unnatural.”

“Yes, yes it was.”

 

April 10th, 1970

Dear Mom, Beth, and Shannon, 

 

Well, I did it. I’m a married man. I can’t believe it honestly. I mean I still feel the same with a crap ton of new responsibilities. At least I don’t have to share a tent with Wyatt anymore. Maybe I can finally get some sleep.

 

It sucks you can’t be here, but maybe it’s for the best since it rained almost the whole time. It was so nerve-racking, but seeing her smile afterward made it all worthwhile. I never thought I’d marry another woman other than Jennifer, but here I am, on my wedding night. It’s a surreal experience. Nguyet’s currently asleep but I know she probably would want to say hello to you.

 

The picture I sent is of the wedding party. We took it earlier so it got developed just in time. Nguyet’s wearing red and the girl in pink next to her is Bian, my new sister-in-law. It was weird getting married in front of a bunch of people I didn’t know. (And don’t worry Mom, it was a Catholic wedding.)

 

I’m counting down the months until the deployment is over. I hope to see your response soon.

 

Love from Vietnam, Ronnie, and Nguyet

 

 

April 11th, 1970

Dear Ma,

 

Ronnie got married yesterday. I can’t believe it honestly. First Jennifer dumps him, then he gets a girl pregnant, and now he’s married for God’s sake. It was nice to have a break and celebrate something though. He had a Catholic wedding to appease his mother, but everyone (not us) still wore traditional Vietnamese wedding clothes. It was interesting to see different cultures clash and intermix. 

 

I saw my commanding officer smile today too. It was creepy. I’ve never seen the boss grin. Not even a smirk. Anyway, How’s Ridge's Creek? Still the same boring town from 7 months ago? I don’t know if I wanna go back there when my deployment’s over. I was thinking maybe staying in the army longer, maybe make it my career. You know I was never gonna go to college, we could never afford it.

 

Oh, I’ve learned some great news. Probably the greatest news in my entire life. Imogene is engaged. She wrote a long letter telling me all about her new man and how she loves him and must end things with me. THANK GOD! It really warmed my heart being dumped. I’ll have to write a farewell letter, but I think I’ll express my true feelings about her. So long woman I hate. 

 

I just learned that my platoon is being deployed again into active duty. It’s longer this time. We’re gonna be out in the jungle for 6-12 weeks. It's been a long time, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it. 

 

I’ll write the day we leave and the day we come back, but this means you won’t be hearing from me for 3 months. I love you and miss you a lot (and your food), and I’ll try to stay in one piece. 

 

Your Loving Son, Laurie

 

PS- I got promoted to private first class today (So did Ronnie)

 

Thursday, April 23rd, 1970, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska

 

“Oh, my baby’s married now!” Mary cried after finishing the letter.

“I can’t believe it,” Beth muttered. How could her brother be married? 

“Beth!”

“Yeah, Mom?”

Mary’s hands were shaky from excitement and she had tears streaming down her face. “I’m too much of a mess to sit down and write back, I need you to write back.”

“Right now?”

Mary glared at her. “Yes!”

“Okay, okay, let me grab some pen and paper.” 

 

April 23rd, 1970

Dear Ronnie, 

 

Mom cried when we read your letter. I just don’t believe that my brother, Ronnie McKittrick, is now married and expecting a child. 

 

Nguyet is prettier than I thought she’d be. (no offense), I’m just surprised you scored someone that pretty. Then again, I still have no idea how Jennifer fell in love with you for 5 years. You must have some other qualities other than looks or something that I can’t see since I’m your sister. 

 

I’m excited to be an aunt. Of course, I won’t be able to meet the baby until at least May ‘71 when your deployment is over. The school year is over in a month, and when you see my next letter, I will be a high school graduate, at 17! I’ve already applied to some typing schools, and I think I’ll do a semester of classes before going out to the workforce. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. Mom thinks that I’m too young, but I’m ready to go out in the world, and unlike you, I actually behave and go about my duties as a Christian. When was the last time you went to church excluding your wedding date? A year? Two years? Shame on you. I sound like Mom now, so I’ll shut up. 

 

I’ve been thinking of names for the baby. If it’s a boy, Mom, Aunt Eileen, and Aunt Moira think that Cillian Sean would be a lovely name. I think it’s too Irish and too long. Not all of us want to have extremely Irish names. I think Alexander Jason would be a nice name and for a girl, Rosemary Elizabeth since of course she should be named after her favorite aunt. 

 

Do you wanna know what Mom said for a girl? Brace for it. She said, Saorise Cianna. I think Mom needs to get it in her head that we live in America, not Ireland. Though Aunt Eileen would like that name.

 

Mrs. Alders shared with us that you’re going into active duty, so you might not see this letter until July or so. Nguyet, if you are reading this, you are welcome to consider my wonderful suggestions for baby names. I wish you would stop doing stupid things Ronnie, you’re going to the death of yourself. 

 

Adieu from Mini-Ireland, Beth

Chapter 25: War (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

The troops head on a march.

Notes:

CW: Mentions of violence and war (see endnotes for more detail)

stay safe :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 25: War

 

Late June 1970, South Vietnam, near the northern border

 

 

Ronnie had once read in a book that war was nothing but mud, blood, and death. He didn’t really believe it then, but now he sure did.  The last ten weeks were even worse than the last time he was sent into active duty. 

Someone died every other week and there was always someone with bandages on. Ronnie was lucky that his job wasn’t on the front line, he’d probably go insane if it was. He hadn’t showered in weeks and couldn’t even remember what it was like to get a full night of sleep. 

Usually, he thought about his mother and sisters, but now it was Nguyệt that was on his mind. He didn't love her when they got married. He still didn’t love her now. Sure, he thought she was sweet and funny, but he didn’t love her romantically. He only married her because it was the right thing to do and everyone expected him to do it. He had to do it. He had to please both sides of her family and his. Now he had a baby on the way.

No way in hell was he ready to be a father. His father was an asshole and abusive, so Ronnie never had a proper father figure to look up to. Sure, raising and watching Shannon had given him some tips, like how to change a diaper or soothe a baby, but he didn’t know what to do if his kid misbehaved, or had a bad day at school. According to the camp doctor, she was due around November. He had only a few more months to prepare himself for something that would change his life forever: A child.

Ronnie had to mature now and fast. He had always been immature and was a major smart ass, which had gotten him in trouble on numerous occurrences. He had learned to shut up during the first few weeks of camp, but sometimes he made a remark or comment that’d get him in trouble with his superiors.

It had been storming for the past few days so now everyone had to walk in mud that sometimes went up to their knees. Ronnie was stuck carrying the machine used to transmit and receive messages in morse code. It was heavy and clunky, and he had to be careful it didn’t touch water or mud, or it’d probably break. This also meant that Ronnie didn’t have his gun out like everyone else, so if they were shot at, there was a pretty good chance that Ronnie was utterly fucked.

Sometimes they stopped and camped out for a night, but never more than a day. Ronnie was sick of it. He couldn’t wait until they got back to the village. But that wasn’t the worst part. It wasn’t the rain, mud, humidity, or mosquitos. It was the fact he had never seen the other side. 

Ronnie had been there since Halloween of last year, and he had never been face to face with the Viet Cong or the PAVN. Gunshots and explosions were the only things that proved their existence, and sometimes Ronnie wondered if they were even there at all.

“Lost in thought?” a voice next to him asked.

Ronnie turned to see Bobby next to him. “I guess so.”

“What are you thinking then?”

Ronnie shrugged and gripped his hands on the machine in his arms tighter. “The fact I’ve never seen a single Viet Cong or North Vietnamese Army.”

Bobby raised his eyebrows in realization. “Holy shit, you’re right.”

“Seems kind of odd that we’ve never seen our supposed enemy,” Ronnie muttered, lowering his voice as Harry and Basil walked by. 

Bobby nodded. “Yeah, it does.”

Ronnie looked down at his mud-stained pants. “I’m glad we’re walking on solid ground now, I can put this stupid thing down and not worry about it getting ruined.”

“Unless someone steps on it.” 

“Man, don’t jinx it.”

Bobby laughed. 

Suddenly, gunshots went off. 

“Jesus H. Christ!” Someone yelled as everyone dropped to the ground for cover. 

Ronnie set down the transmitter and grabbed his gun, which was slung on his back. There were some people already firing at where the gunshots came from. He quickly checked if his gun was loaded and shot into the jungle. 

“What’s the point of shooting if we can’t even see them?” Bobby muttered, firing his gun. 

Ronnie agreed. They could be in the trees for all he knew. 

They exchanged crossfire for several minutes. Smoke rose in the air and made it hazy and hard to see. Of course, they couldn’t even see who they were shooting at to begin with, so Ronnie doubted it made much of a difference. It was harder to breathe though. 

Ronnie looked over to his left and saw Laurie had crawled next to him. “Guess they heard us.”

“Well, we are loud as fuck. They can probably hear us in the Philippines.”

Laurie smirked. “Even in the middle of a shoot-out, you still can make little comments.”

“Takes my mind off the fact there are people who I can’t see shooting metal bullets at me,” Ronnie replied, reloading his gun.

“Wait, listen. It’s quiet now.”

Ronnie lowered his gun. No bullets were flying or gun firing. There wasn’t even buzzing from bugging or heavy breathing from the other men. It was completely silent. Ronnie thought it was a little too silent. 

Ronnie heard a thud from several yards away from him and turned his head. 

“GRENADE!” Someone screamed.

Ronnie, Laurie, and Bobby immediately dove for cover. Ronnie closed his eyes and covered his ears.

BOOM! The grenade exploded. Ronnie felt a wave of heat go through his body and the inside of his eyelids brightened. He waited for a few more seconds before opening his eyes.

The smoke in the air was even darker now. 

There were several plants on fire, but Ronnie couldn’t get a good view of the explosion site. His ears were ringing loudly, but Ronnie managed to stand and make his way over to where the grenade exploded.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. Several people were injured, but it was nothing too bad. Ronnie didn’t see any of his friends, so he sighed in relief. Then he saw where the grenade had gone ka-boom.

The sight was so revolting, Ronnie gagged and promptly threw up. Jake, who saw Ronnie and followed him to see if it was okay, also threw up when he saw it. The grenade had exploded right next to someone. 

The body was charred and bloody. The grenade had exploded next to his shoulder, so his face was unrecognizable. The body was in a fetal position, so Ronnie assumed the person had tried taking cover. He began to worry if it was someone he knew, so he stepped closer to the body.

The smell was almost as bad as the sight. The aroma of burnt flesh hit Ronnie's nose, and he choked. It smelled like someone had put a hot iron to a cow and burned its flesh off, with sweat and the jungle heat and humidity made it all the worse. The person had just died, and Ronnie could already see flies surrounding it. 

Lieutenant Hammond, the commanding officer of the other platoon Ronnie was stationed with, came over. “Step back, all of you!” he commanded. 

Everyone took a step back. Hammond marched over to the body and crouched. He turned the body so it was facing up and read the blackened dog tags around the remains of the neck. 

“It’s Parrish,” Hammond said quietly.

Medics came over and covered the body with a sheet.

“Who’s Parrish?” Ronnie muttered.

“He was one of Hammond’s. New recruit. Arrived here the day before we left base,”  Laurie said, who was now behind Ronnie.

“Oh.”

How could it be that the new person was the one that was dead? He had only been there for a few months and now he’d be coming home in a wooden box. He wondered if Parrish had a family, a girlfriend, and how they’d feel when they would find out he was dead. 

“It wouldn’t be smart to stay here, them Viet commies could ambush us again,” Hammond announced.

“We have injured men here, sir,” Jake said, pulling out his first aid kit and crouching next to someone who was clutching his head. He was one of the trained medics since he worked as an EMT before getting drafted. 

Hammond sighed and looked over to Pope, who was talking to the other officers. Pope nodded.

“Okay, but we ain’t staying here for more than a couple of hours, understand?”

“Yes sir!” Several dozen men called out. 

Hammond left and rejoined the other officers. Ronnie looked at Laurie and sighed. 

“Better go find the dumb transmitter.”

Laurie stared at him. “How can you act like everything’s fine? Someone just died, and it smells like burnt fucking flesh. How can-,” Laurie began to rant but was interrupted by shrill screaming.

Both of them turned to see a man jump out of the jungle. He was wearing a rice farmer’s hat and carried a gun. Everyone was still shocked by the grenade and moved slowly to get away from the man.

The man raised his gun and started firing randomly. Ronnie ducked out of the way, but Laurie wasn’t so lucky. The man fired his gun and hit Laurie in the arm. He groaned in surprise and fell to the ground, holding his arm, now starting to bleed.

Something in Ronnie’s head clicked and looked at Viet Cong in rage. The mother fucker had just shot his best friend. Filled with a newfound sense of energy, Ronnie stood up, pulled out his semi-automatic rifle, and cocked it. He fired at the man until he fell on the dirt ground. He shot the body three more times before dropping his gun. 

Other people rushed over to help Ronnie, but it was pointless. The man was dead.

Laurie, with the help of a couple of people, sat up and stared at Ronnie. “You just killed a man.”

Ronnie stumbled back away from the body as the energy he had faded away. The truth was dawning on him. He had just killed someone. He had just taken away someone’s life. He fell on his bottom and scooted away from the body. 

“What happened here?” Pope said, strutting over.

Jake came over and answered. “He just popped out and started shooting. Ronnie shot him dead, sir.”

Pope looked over to Ronnie, who was staring at Laurie. “Congratulations son, your first confirmed kill.”

Ronnie didn’t say anything, so Pope just marched off. 

Jake knelt by Laurie and opened his medical kit. “I’m gonna take the bullet out of your arm, but it’s gonna hurt a lot.”

Laurie nodded with clenched teeth. “Just do it, man.”

Jake first cleaned the wound before taking a knife to dig for the bullet. Laurie tried to keep quiet, but he howled as Jake took the bullet out. Luckily, it wasn't too deep, so it didn’t take too long. Jake cleaned the wound again before wrapping Laurie’s upper arm in bandages. 

Ronnie didn’t pay much attention to Jake and Laurie though. His eyes were on the body in front of him. He had commented earlier that he had never seen the Viet Cong and now not only had seen one, but he had also killed one. 

Was it self-defense? Ronnie didn’t really know. The man had shot at him and shot Laurie, so he had no choice but to shoot back. Ronnie didn't want to kill. He was overcome with a sense of adrenaline and his instincts took over. Well, that was what he told himself. 

Everyone was silent now. Hours had passed and they still hadn’t moved, so Hammond must have forgotten or just saw how exhausted his troops were. Ronnie turned his head to two men carrying Parrish away in a stretcher, his body covered by a sheet. Two men died today. They were from different sides and different backgrounds but in some ways, they were the same. They were both just following orders.

Notes:

CW: Depictions of war and death, including graphic death, etc.

 

War sucks

Chapter 26: Baby (Vol I, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie experiences anxiety about fatherhood and becomes a father

Notes:

last chapter of part III!!!!!!

 

CW: sexual references/implications

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 26: Baby

 

Saturday, November 7th, 1970

 

 

Ronnie was decoding messages when he got the news. He had spent the last couple of hours sending messages and receiving and translating the occasional one since it was in Vietnamese. He had his headphones on and was busy writing down morse code to translate later. He felt someone tap his shoulder, so he removed his headphone and turned around to see Fred Louis, someone who was also in the same platoon as him, but they weren’t friends. 

“What is it, Louis? You know I can’t talk right now.”

“Your wife, uh Nguyệt, I think she’s just gone into labor,” Fred informed him.

Ronnie dropped his headphones. “What?”

“Yeah, she’s in the medical hut right now, doc sent me to tell you.”

“I can’t go, I gotta finish this before I can get off duty,” Ronnie said, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“Well, you better hurry up then,” Fred muttered before leaving. 

It took Ronnie two more hours before he finished everything. He tried speeding up the process, but he ended up making mistakes and had to start over. He quickly cleaned up everything and sent it to the officers’ tent. 

After dropping everything off, He started to run over to the medical hut. He jogged past Laurie who gave him a weird look.

“Why are you running?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m becoming a father today!” Ronnie called out as he ran past him.

When Ronnie got to the hut, he was informed that Nguyệt had started experiencing contractions around 8, but didn’t go into labor until 10. She still hadn’t given birth yet, but she was close. Ronnie tried to go into the hut but Jake, who was one on duty, said no.

“Trust me, you don’t want to be around when a baby’s coming. That’s for the women and the doc. Us guys wait outside.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do then?”

Jake shrugged. “Dunno.”

Ronnie sighed and sat on the bench outside of the hut. He could hear Nguyệt yell in pain from inside, which made his gut turn all mushy. He wanted to help, but he knew he couldn’t do anything. 

After 45 minutes, he lit a cigarette and started smoking. Nguyệt didn’t like the fact he smoked and didn’t let him smoke when she was near him. It was annoying at times but understandable. Smoking kills apparently, and Ronnie guessed she wanted him to be around for a long time. 

Ronnie knew it was a bad habit, but he had been doing it for so long, it was hard to just quit. Smoking was also a way of stress relief for him. It calmed his nerves down and helped him think straight, though it was probably the fact he had a nicotine addiction that made it such a good stress reliever.

He smoked three cigarettes before he saw his commanding officer come over. He threw the stub on the floor and stood up.

“At ease,” Pope said.

Ronnie sat back down and looked at Pope. “Am I needed for something, sir?”

Pope shook his head and sat next to Ronnie. “Heard you’re about to become a father.”

Ronnie nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“No need for formalities, we’re speaking to each other as equals right now, maybe even friends.”

“Oh,” Ronnie muttered, surprised.

“Are you excited about becoming a dad?” Pope asked gently, which was not like him.

Ronnie shrugged. “If we’re being honest, I’m more scared and nervous than excited.”

Pope chuckled. “That’s how I felt with my first one.”

“You have kids?”

Pope nodded. “I have four. Three girls and a boy.”

“How old are they?”

“Isabella is 16, Theresa is 14, Ruby is 9, and Lewis just turned 2.”

Ronnie looked impressed. “Big house.”

Pope chuckled sadly and nodded. “Yes, it is. Do you have any siblings?”

“Um yeah, I got two sisters. One’s 17 and the other’s 8.”

Pope nodded again. “I was scared when Isabella was born. I had no idea what to do, but my father sat me down and gave me a lot of tips and advice about parenting. Afterward, I then finally realized how much he sacrificed for me and my brothers.”

Ronnie scoffed. “Well, my daddy’s long gone, and we’re in the jungle anyway.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, son.”

“No, he’s not dead, though if we’re being honest, I wish he was.”

Pope looked at him. “You would wish death on your own father?”

“Yes.” 

“May I ask why?”

“Is that a question or a command?”

Pope raised a brow. “It will be a command if you don’t answer.”

Ronnie smirked. “Okay, okay. My father was abusive both emotionally and physically towards me. My mom found out and kicked him out. It’ll be 5 years in February since I last saw him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is that why you’re scared of being a father?” Pope asked kindly.

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

Pope patted Ronnie’s shoulder. “Son, don’t worry, I think you’ll do just fine.”

Ronnie smiled. “Thank you.”

At that moment, Jake opened the door to the medical and looked at Ronnie. “McKittrick, get in here.”

Ronnie shot Pope a nervous glance as he went inside. The hut was bigger than it looked and had about a dozen beds inside. They were all empty except one. Nguyệt was lying on the bed closest to the left wall. She was holding a bundle of blankets, but Ronnie couldn’t see what was in it. His heart started pounding louder and louder as he stepped closer to her. He noticed she was crying as he got closer. At that moment, Ronnie realized that he cared for Nguyệt much more than he previously thought. Maybe he even loved her.

“Hey,” Ronnie said quietly. 

Nguyệt looked up at Ronnie and smiled tiredly. “Would you like to see your son?”

Ronnie nodded, his heart pounding so loud he thought Nguyệt could probably hear it. He leaned over to see that the pile of blankets in her arms had a baby in it. At that very moment, Ronnie decided that he had just laid eyes on the most beautiful thing in the world: His son. 

The baby had his eyes closed, and he was still slightly wrinkled. His skin color was more like Nguyệt’s skin, but a bit lighter. He had a full head of black hair and Ronnie’s nose. Ronnie’s eyes began to water the more he stared at his son. The pounding in his chest and pit in his stomach seemed to go away.

“He’s beautiful,” Ronnie whispered.

Nguyệt smiled at him. “Would you like to hold him?”

Ronnie nodded and took the baby from Nguyệt. The baby fussed for a second but calmed down as soon as he was in Ronnie’s arms. Ronnie looked down at his son’s face and smiled. I’ll love you forever, Ronnie promised himself. He admired the baby for a few more seconds before looking back up at Nguyệt.

“We should think of a name.”

Nguyệt nodded. “Yes, we should. I want him to have my last name as well as yours.”

“You want his last name to be Nguyen-McKittrick?”

“Yes.”

Ronnie glanced at the baby. “That’s okay with me, as long as I get to pick the first name.”

Nguyệt smirked. “Fine. What do you want to call him?”

Ronnie looked at the baby again. “My favorite stuffed animal as a child was a teddy bear named Benjamin.”

“You want to call him Benjamin?”

Ronnie nodded.

“I wanted to call him Đạt, after my father,” Nguyệt muttered.

“Well, Benjamin Đạt would make a wonderful name,” Ronnie said, looking at the newly named Benjamin.

“I like that,” Nguyệt said, yawning. 

 

November 14th, 1970

Dear Mom, Beth, and Shannon (Aunt Eileen too),

 

On the 7th, Nguyet and I welcomed a healthy baby boy. We named him Benjamin Đ ạt, after her father, and I don’t know if you’ll remember, but my old teddy bear as a child was named Benjamin. We’ve also decided that he’ll have both of our last names, so his full name is Benjamin Đ ạt Nguyen-McKittrick. He looks like a mix of me and his mother, but obviously, the Asian features are more dominant, but he has my face shape and nose. 

 

Right now Benjamin is sleeping in his mother’s arms after being fed. I haven’t slept since his birth, but I’ve never gotten a full night’s sleep here anyway. The things I’d do for a mattress bed. We sent a picture of the 3 of us so Mom can brag all about her new grandson. 

 

I’ve already started the paperwork for both Benjamin and Nguyet to come back to the US in May. I can’t believe my deployment’s over in 6 months. I’m looking forward to coming home and eating lots of burgers and fries until I can’t move. That and actually sleeping in a decent bed. I miss pillows and blankets and mattresses.

 

A lot’s changed since last November. I feel like I’m a completely different person than I was 12 months ago when I first arrived here. But a lot’s changed back home too. Beth is now officially smarter than me with the typing school, and Shannon must be at least 7 feet by now. Beth, do you got a boyfriend now? How’s Shannon, does SHE have any little boyfriends? Haha. 

 

Laurie said that his mom told him that some kids burned their draft cards and got in trouble. I kind of wish I had burned mine, and then I wouldn’t be here in this version of hell.

 

Well, if I had burned my draft card, I wouldn't have gotten married and with a kid wouldn’t I? Maybe I could have afforded to go to college?  I wonder how life would be different. 

 

By the time you read this, it will be near Thanksgiving and Christmas time, and I know it will be the second year without me so I wanted to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. 

 

Happy Holidays, Ronnie, Nguyet, and Benjamin  

 

PS- Nguyet would write too but she says she’s too tired to write in English and I’m too tired to translate. 

 

Wednesday, November 25th, 1970, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska

 

Both Beth and Mary cried when they read the letter. Beth couldn’t believe that Ronnie was a father now. He looked so happy in the photo he had sent that it made Beth happy. He looked nothing like the pessimist he usually was. His hair had grown out from the horrid buzzcut. It was a bit shorter than he usually had it before, but Beth thought it looked nice on him, though she’d never say it to his face.

“Oh, Benjamin, I can’t believe I have a grandson!” Mary cried out.

“I can’t believe Shannon’s an aunt,” Beth replied, wiping the tears off her face.

"Me neither," Eileen, Mary's sister remarked.

Mary laughed. “Yes, that is strange. My 8 year old daughter already has a nephew, but that means I am now a mamó, ” she said, using the Irish word for grandma.

“I have a nephew, Mommy?” Shannon asked, clearly confused.

Mary nodded. “Yes, you do. Ronnie had a baby with his wife. You’ll get to meet him and your new sister in about 6 months from now.”

Shannon gasped. “I have a new sister?”

Beth laughed. “Yes, technically you do, and that means so do I.”

Shannon giggled and started jumping up and down singing, “I have a new sister, I have a new sister.”

Mary chuckled and looked at Beth. “I’m glad you were able to come home for Thanksgiving, I’ve missed you.” She glanced at Eileen. “I’ve missed you as well.”

Eileen chuckled.

Beth smiled. She had started typing school in late August in Kansas City, so she could stay with Eileen. “I’ve missed you too.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, sweetheart,” Mary said, wrapping her arm around Beth.

Beth leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder and smiled warmly.

 

December 23rd, 1970, South Vietnam

 

“They gave me the next 4 days off, so we can have an American Christmas here,” Ronnie said, sitting next to Nguyệt, who was holding Benjamin.

Nguyệt chuckled. “And how are we going to do that? We are in Vietnam, not your precious America,” she said in Vietnamese.

I don’t know yet, we can’t have a Christmas tree or Christmas lights, but I’ll think of something,” Ronnie replied curtly. He took Benjamin from Nguyệt and lifted him in the air. “So Benjamin, what do you think? How should we have an American Christmas?”

Benjamin just stared at him with his dark brown eyes, the same eyes as Nguyệt. 

“He is only a month old, you know he can’t speak,” Nguyệt said, laughing at Ronnie’s antics.

“Yes I can, Mommy,” Ronnie said in a high-pitched voice.

Benjamin continued to stare at him while Nguyệt laughed harder.

“Okay, we should probably put him to bed,” Ronnie said, standing up and putting Benjamin in the little bed Nguyệt’s great aunt had given them shortly after he was born. 

“Good night,” Ronnie said as he swaddled Benjamin, a new skill he had learned from Nguyệt. Benjamin seemed to pass out immediately, so Ronnie went back to his and Nguyệt’s bed. “We have roughly two to three hours before he wakes up hungry.”

Nguyệt nodded and kissed him. Ronnie kissed her back and ran his hands through her hair. He broke the kiss to take off his shirt, but as he did it, Nguyệt took off her nightgown, revealing that she was only wearing panties.

Ronnie looked at her. “Is it safe to do it?”

Nguyệt nodded. “We’ll be fine. Don’t touch my breasts, those are for Benjamin.”

Ronnie laughed and gave her a pouty face. “Okay fine,” he said, kissing her stomach. He kissed her stomach again before moving lower and lower until he got to the edge of her underwear. He gave her a wink as he pulled her panties off.

 

***

 

“I think I like holding each other after we have sex more than actually having sex,” Nguyệt said, burying her face into Ronnie’s bare chest.

“I can’t relate,” Ronnie said, rubbing her back.

“So you’re a sex addict?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Maybe.”

Nguyệt giggled quietly.

“Hey, I wanna tell you something,” Ronnie said, leaning down and kissing her forehead.

“What?”

Ronnie took a deep breath. “I love you.”

Nguyệt looked up from his chest and stared at him. “I love you too.”

 

End of Part III

Notes:

and we have finished part 3! and now our dear main character is a father. let's see how that works out

Chapter 27: To the World We Once Knew, for Now it's Gone (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Everything goes to hell

 

part 4 let's go

Notes:

heads up this is a pretty intense/depressing chapter

CW: Depictions of violence, death, and war

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Part IV: Ambition and Reality

February 27th, 1971 - November 24th, 1971

 

Chapter 27: To the World We Once Knew, for Now It’s Gone 

 

Saturday, February 27th, 1971, South Vietnam

 

 

The day had started like any other. Ronnie woke up at dawn, kissed Nguyệt and Benjamin goodbye, reported for duty, and then did what his senior officers told him to do. He had been recently promoted to a corporal and he wore his new badge which was bright against his dull and beaten uniform. The day had started like any other normal day, excluding the fact they were in the middle of a war. Well, until that afternoon. 

Ronnie was in the middle of translating documents when he heard the gunshots and explosions. It technically wasn’t part of Ronnie’s job to translate, but since he could speak Vietnamese, his officers took advantage of it to use one of their own instead of a translator. This also meant that Ronnie saw stuff a corporal would usually be never allowed to see. He sometimes wondered how much trouble he’d get in if he said anything that was classified to anyone that wasn’t an officer.

When the first explosion went off, he thought it was someone on their side, but soon realized it was too close to camp and village. By the second explosion, he was out of the messaging tent and looking to see where the explosions came from.

Ronnie looked around to see people running in terror. He turned to his left and gasped. There were huts and tents on fire. It looked like a scene straight from a James Bond movie. Ronnie was so spellbound by the burning village, he almost forgot why he had come outside. Another explosion went off though, which cleared his thoughts. 

His thoughts instantly focused on Nguyệt and Benjamin, who were probably still in the village, so he rushed towards the burning village to find them. As he got closer to the village, he saw various members of his platoon who were shooting guns or helping people get to safety. He ran past Laurie, who was reloading a semi-automatic rifle.

“WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING ON!?” Ronnie called out.

“THERE’S A FUCKING RAID, YOU GOTTA GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, WE’RE OUTNUMBERED!” Laurie yelled back.

Ronnie nodded and continued running towards He and Nguyệt’s hut. “I’LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE, I GOTTA GET TO NGUYỆT AND BENJAMIN AND SEE IF THEY’RE OKAY! I’LL MEET YOU AT THE RETREAT POINT!” He shouted to Laurie.

He ran into the village and saw that half of the huts and other dwellings were on fire. People were grabbing things and running away. Sounds of screaming and crying filled the air along with the sound of gunfire and huts and tent burning down. He then saw some Vietnamese men holding machine guns and torches. He assumed those were the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese Army, so he hid behind a tent so they wouldn’t see him. 

Ronnie managed to get to the hut without being seen. He opened the door quietly and saw Nguyệt who was grabbing clothes and pictures and stuffing them in a basket that was in her brown skirt.

“Nguyệt, what are you doing? You need to get out right now,” Ronnie said. He then looked around and saw that Benjamin wasn’t in the room. “Where’s Benjamin?”

“Bian came and grabbed him as soon as we heard the first several gunshots. He’s safe,” Nguyệt said calmly, though Ronnie could hear panic start to sweep in her voice. 

“Leave the clothes and pictures behind, we can come back for them later. You need to get out of here,” Ronnie said, grabbing Nguyệt’s small hand and pulling her up.

“I’m scared,” she muttered.

“You’ll be fine, I promise,” Ronnie said as he opened the hut door. He took a step outside and was met with a gun in his face. Behind the man with the gun were two other men. Ronnie recognized them from earlier, carrying the torches and guns.

“Inside,” the man holding the gun said, with an extremely thick accent.

Nguyệt gripped Ronnie’s hand tighter as they stepped back inside. The man with the gun walked in as well, along with three other men. Ronnie backed into a corner with Nguyệt behind him. He raised his hands in the air, though he was eyeing his semi-automatic rifle, which was on the floor.

He started to make a plan in his head. Grab the gun as fast as he could, shoot the men or at least scare them to let them pass, Take Nguyệt and run to the regrouping point. He figured he could probably take one of them hand to hand, but he’d need his gun in his hands if he and Nguyệt were to leave freely. He started to pray that his gun was already loaded and ready to shoot. He didn’t want to kill the men, so he hoped maybe firing a few warning shots would do the trick. He was still traumatized by June’s ordeal. 

He hadn’t told anyone, but his dreams since June had filled with the man he killed. It wasn’t like he was reliving the scene over and over again, no, the man would appear everywhere. If in Ronnie’s dream he was back home swimming at the lake, the man’s body would be there. Whether it was a nightmare or a dream, the body always appeared, sometimes waking Ronnie up. Sometimes he’d get out of his and Nguyệt’s bed and check outside to see if the man was there. He never was. 

Finally, a man roughly in his early 50s or late 40s wearing a PAVN officer’s uniform walked in. He eyed Ronnie and then Nguyệt, who had peaked her head out behind Ronnie. 

You, step out here,” he said in Vietnamese.

Nguyệt reluctantly stepped out of the corner and stood next to Ronnie, still holding his hand.

Ronnie tried to reach for his semi-automatic, but the officer put his gun to Nguyệt’s head. 

“If you so much as even touch your gun, I’ll shoot her dead,” the officer stated in a commanding manner, with an accent that wasn’t as thick as the man with the gun from previously.

He paused and stared at Nguyệt, who looked terrified. He put his hands in the air again and stopped moving. Two of the guards grabbed Ronnie and held him by his arms. The soldier with the gun grabbed Ronnie’s rifle from the floor and slung it on his shoulder.

The officer put his gun down and gave Nguyệt a puzzled look. “Why are you a white man’s whore?” He asked.

She’s not whore, She’s my wife,” Ronnie answered, glaring and spitting at the officer.

The officer just laughed. “You speak Vietnamese? Interesting. What are you, an interpreter?”

Ronnie just glared at him.

The officer raised his gun back at Nguyệt’s head. “Answer the question or I blow your wife’s brains out.”

I’m not an interpreter, not officially .”

The officer smirked cruelly. “You have a sense of humor, I like you.” He looked at his men. “Don’t shoot him.” 

Ronnie spat at him again. “Go fuck yourself.”

The officer just laughed evilly and glanced at Nguyệt, who had tears in her eyes, her face full of terror. He then looked back at his men and gave them a cruel smirk. 

You can touch the girl all you want.” 

Ronnie’s eyes widened and he started to struggle to get out of the guards’ arms, but it was no use. It was two against one. The officer chuckled as he walked out of the hut, but before whispering something to the soldier that had held a gun to Ronnie’s face. 

The soldier with the gun dropped his gun and walked to Nguyệt. She defensively wrapped her arms around herself and backed into a corner away from him.

Please, I’ll do anything, please don’t,” she begged, tears running down her cheeks. 

Ronnie tried to break free again, but this time one of the men holding Ronnie grabbed his face and forced him to look at the soldier, Nguyệt, and the scene that was starting to take place. Tears started to pool up in his eyes as the soldier got closer and closer to Nguyệt.

 

***

 

Ronnie knelt on the dirt ground, his eyes wide and empty. Next to him were Bobby and Wyatt, along with about a dozen local men, who had also been captured. Men were pacing back and forth holding guns at them so they wouldn’t run away. 

But if Ronnie was being honest, he didn’t care if he was shot or not. A part of him wanted them to shoot at him. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t have a single ounce of caring in him. All he wanted to do was hide in a dark corner and cry. 

No one’s hands were tied, but everyone knelt on the ground perfectly still, watching the men with guns walk past them. Ronnie could vaguely hear the locals muttering to each other, begging for freedom, but none of the PAVN complied. They just stared at them and laughed.

Most of the fires had died down, so now everything had a blackened char to it and the hazy, smoke-filled air smelled of burnt mud and wood. Ronnie doubted reinforcements would come. They were the only camp for miles and the nearest US military base was an army one that was 3 hours away.

After a few more minutes, the officer appeared again. A sensation of intense hate surged through Ronnie. The feeling of loss left him and was replaced with rage. He now wanted to get up, not to get shot at, but to get his hands on the officer. He looked up and glared at him.

The officer either didn’t notice or paid no attention. He walked past each kneeing man and looked at them. He took his pistol and dragged it across the men’s foreheads. He stopped when he came to Wyatt, Bobby, and Ronnie, who were at the end of the line. 

He stared at the three for a second before placing his pistol on Wyatt’s forehead. Wyatt’s eyes widened both in fear and shock. The officer just chuckled and cocked his gun. Bobby stared at them, eyes wide, biting his lip. 

“Any last words?”

Wyatt stared at the officer. He didn’t say anything, but his shoulders were starting to tremble. He started to open his mouth, but the officer interrupted him before he could say anything.

“Okay, nothing it is,” the officer muttered and pulled the trigger. 

Several gasps arose. Ronnie stayed silent. His feeling of rage had washed over and now he just felt empty. 

Wyatt was dead before his head hit the ground. His body slumped forward, so the officer gracefully stepped out of the way and walked toward the center of the captured men. Bobby and Ronnie stared at Wyatt, whose head had turned to them. Blood spilled out of the wound on his forehead and his lifeless eyes. stared right back at them.

YOU!” The officer yelled to the locals in their language.  “FLEE OR I WILL SHOOT THE REST OF YOU!” 

As soon as the words slipped from his mouth, all the local men were on their feet and running away from their northern cousins, leaving Bobby and Ronnie with Wyatt’s dead body. The officer gathered his men and started to speak to them. 

“What are they saying, McKittrick?” Bobby whispered.

Ronnie didn’t say anything and continued to stare at Wyatt’s lifeless eyes. He seemed to be spaced out from the world and what was going on.

“Ronnie, what are they saying?” Bobby asked again, this time a little bit louder.

No response. Bobby asked a few more times before getting frustrated, then noticed how dead Ronnie looked.

“Ronnie, are you okay?” He paused and pondered his question. “Well, that’s a dumb question, neither of us are okay right now, but you get what I mean.”

Ronnie didn’t answer, but he looked away from Wyatt’s body and at Bobby, who saw there were tears in his eyes. At that same time, two soldiers came out carrying a woman’s dead body. She was wearing a long brown skirt and a plain white shirt with sandals. Her face used to be bright and lively, and at the same time, full of innocence. That wasn’t the case anymore. Now her face was like Wyatt’s: Dead and glass-like eyes. 

The soldiers put Nguyệt’s body in a pile of other bodies, both Vietnamese and American. They then went over and dragged Wyatt’s body away from Bobby and Ronnie to put in the pile as well. Next to the pile was a man holding a torch, just waiting.

Before Bobby could say anything, he and Ronnie were forced to stand up. They tied their hands and shoved a bag made of burlap on their heads. Ronnie now could not see where he was going, but he was fine with it. Now he could let tears spill escape his eyes without anyone seeing them. 

Ronnie felt the men shoving them into the back of a large truck. Another few minutes passed, and he felt the truck driving away. The bags were then taken off of their heads and Ronnie saw Bobby sitting across from him and they were both flanked by men holding semi-automatics.

Bobby looked at Ronnie. His eyes were wet too, but tears weren’t falling from his face. Ronnie looked at him before lowering his face and starting to cry quietly.

Notes:

sorry

 

sidenote: I've decided to do biweekly updates, ones on Sundays and Wednesdays. I actually have a majority of this written (90/120 as of Jan 8, 2022, but I won't upload all at once from volume one part four beyond because I get post anxiety when I don't have anything to post. If I'm feeling special or I feel like I need to upload more I will. :)

Also, today is Tuesday, but I didn't upload anything Sunday bc I was on an airplane when I pretty much skipped the whole day.

Chapter 28: Beth, I Don’t Think We’re In Nebraska Anymore (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Beth arrives in the big city and gets a job

 

i formally apologize for the last chapter. here's beth tho. even though i find her annoying

Notes:

happy wednesday!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 28: Beth, I Don’t Think We’re In Nebraska Anymore

 

Saturday, February 27th, 1971, Dallas, Texas

 

 

Beth moved to Texas after finishing a semester of typing school. Typing school had been easy and after a semester, Beth was ready to go out in the world. Sure, she was still 17 (18 in less than 2 months), and her mother had objections to her living so far away by herself, but Beth didn’t mind. She had never ventured out into the world, and now she was ready to do so. 

So, with the 3,000 dollars her mother had saved up and given her, Beth set out for Dallas Texas on a Greyhound bus. She wanted to take Ronnie’s beat-up truck, Mary said no since Beth was only borrowing it from Ronnie and would probably take it back when he got home in May. Sure, she hated the truck, but it was all she had. She wasn’t too worried about being without a car though, she could use the walking, and she could save up for a car of her own eventually. Plus, there was always taking a taxi.

The city was massive compared to Ridge's Creek. People and tall buildings were everywhere. Cars were whizzing around to the sound of the city. Beth thought she’d get lost just walking out of her new apartment, which she and her mother had looked at a few weeks before.

She had applied for secretary jobs when she was here with her mother, and to her excitement, she got an interview with the Dallas Times Herald, her first choice. Her interview was that Monday, she decided she’d explore and get to know the city on Sunday, and find a Catholic church near her apartment.

Within the past year, she had gotten more religious like her mother because it made her calmer and had taught her better manners and when to hold her tongue, so she didn't just say whatever she wanted to say like when she was younger. She knew if Ronnie was there, he’d tease her about it, but Ronnie was still in Vietnam. She missed him greatly but was sometimes deep down, she was glad that he wasn’t around to tease and mess with her.

She hadn’t told her mother, but a part of Beth was scared. She was a small-town girl who had suddenly moved to a large city. She didn't know anything about Dallas or anyone here. One of her closest friends had abandoned her for Daniel, her manipulative ex-boyfriend.

If she was being honest, Delilah was her only real friend now, since Carrie had abandoned them. Now she was leaving behind Delilah, someone who had lost someone close to her for Beth. They both cried plenty of tears when Beth left town. 

Maybe starting somewhere new would be good for her. No one would know who she was or what she did in the past. She was starting on a fresh and clean slate. 

She was renting some furniture from a store nearby, so she didn’t have to worry about an empty house. The apartment was small and only had one bedroom, but it was in a nicer part of the city and Beth thought it was cute. 

The first thing she did when she arrived at the bus station was to get a map of the city. It wasn’t hard, since they were practically handing them out. The Dallas Times Herald, her hopefully new job was only about a 20 minute walk from her apartment. There was also a grocery store nearby and various restaurants, so food would be the least of her problems. 

The best part was when Beth saw there was a Catholic church only two blocks away from her apartment. How lucky could Beth get? The day just kept getting better and better. Lugging her two large suitcases, along with her purse, Beth took a taxi to her new apartment. She admired the city view and wondered how many times she’d probably get lost before getting used to the largeness of the city.

She spent the rest of Saturday getting to know her area and what was nearby. She checked out the grocery store and even walked to the church. On her way back, she met one of her neighbors, a woman in her 40s with a daughter around 9. She seemed nice and offered Beth a babysitting job if she ever needed some extra cash. 

On Sunday, she went to the 11 o’clock Mass they offered at the church and bought food afterward. She then messed around with the phone the apartment came with and tried to call her mother. It didn’t work, but Beth could always try later and ask for help from the landlord. 

She spent most of the afternoon practicing for her interview the next day. Her mother had given her tips before she moved out, but Beth was still scared. The only job she had ever had was the occasional babysitting job and a part-time internship at some large business firm while she was in typing school. She was totally unprepared for a full-time job in the workforce.

She really spent more time praying that she’d get the job than actually preparing for the interview, but Beth saw it as the same thing. Well, close to being the same thing. Praying had pulled off before, so there was a good chance that it could work again. God was always listening, right? 

Still, when Beth woke up early that Monday morning, she had a pit of nerves in her stomach. She had never had a case of nerves this bad before. Of course, she had been nervous, but never to this extreme. She thought she was gonna puke.

To the interview, she decided to wear the dress her mother brought as a going away gift. It was a pretty mint green dress that went to her knees with a mini mint green blazer. She wore mint heels to match and the silver cross necklace her mother had given her for her confirmation.

Even though she could have walked, she took a taxi to the newspaper headquarters since she thought it’d look more formal. She stepped out of the taxi after paying and looked at the building. It was ginormous and made Beth feel like a bug. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards the entrance doors and then into the Dallas Times Herald.

It even looked huge on the inside. People were milling about and there was a queue for the elevators. Beth felt even smaller as she walked towards the receptionist’s desk. 

“Um, excuse me?” Beth asked when she got to the desk.

A lady wearing reading glasses and a beauty mark above her lip glanced up. “Yes?” 

“My name is Elizabeth McKittrick, I’m here for the interview about the secretary position,” Beth said, praying she didn't sound and look as nervous as she felt. 

The lady looked up and down at Beth and looked at some papers on her desk. “Oh yes, I see an Elizabeth McKittrick has an appointment today at 10. That’s you.” She looked back up at Beth. “How old are you exactly? You look young.”

“I’ll be 18 in two months.”

The lady pulled her glasses down. “You’re telling me you’re 17?” She seemed more amused than shocked.

“Yes ma’am.”

“And you’ve completed at least a semester of typing school?”

“I graduated high school early.”

“I see.” The lady pushed back up her glasses and looked at a woman in her mid-30s sitting next to her, who had just finished making a phone call. “Betty, can you take this young lady to Grant’s?”

The woman, Betty, nodded. She smiled at Beth and stood up. “Come with me, honey.”

Beth nodded and followed Betty. She led Beth to the elevators and then took her to the 15th floor. They walked past junior editors and various secretaries, all busy typing away. As they passed more people, Beth started to wonder how many people were employed here. It had to be well over 200. 

Betty led Beth to outside the largest office on the floor. On the door, the gold plaque read the editor. Beth looked at Betty, surprised.

“I’m having my interview with the editor?”

Betty just smiled. “Good luck, honey,” she said as she turned around and walked back to the elevators. 

Beth sat on the loveseat outside the office. Her hands were white from gripping her purse so tightly and the pit in her stomach felt like an endless void now. Her leg bounced in anticipation.

Just as Beth thought she’d puke or something, the office door opened and a man in his early 50s with salt and pepper hair stepped out. He looked at Beth.

“Are you Elizabeth McKittrick?”

Beth stood up and loosened her grip on her purse. “Yes, sir.”

“I’m Edwin Grant, the editor of this newspaper,” he said, holding his hand out.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Grant,” Beth said as she shook his hand.

“Please, come inside,” he said, reentering his office. Beth followed him. 

The office was nice. Books lined the shelves behind the desk and the walls were decorated with various awards and diplomas. On the beautiful mahogany desk, there was another gold plaque that read Edwin Grant, Editor.

Grant sat down behind his desk and pointed at a chair for Beth to sit in. He then pulled out a small file and opened it. Beth saw that they were her application papers.

“Your name is Elizabeth, yes?”

Beth nodded. “Yes, but I go by Beth.”

Grant nodded. “Okay, good to know.” he paused and took a sip from his coffee mug. “So Elizabeth,” he began after setting down the mug. “You’ve met all the requirements and qualifications for this job, but you are very young and this would be your first full-time job if you got it, no?”

Beth nodded. “Yes sir.”

Grant put the papers back in the folder and looked at Beth. “Personality and ethics are very important to me. So, I want you to tell him about yourself, why you applied, and how you can make this company run more efficiently.”

Beth nodded and swallowed. “Um, okay.” She took a deep breath before starting to talk. “I’m from Ridge's Creek, Nebraska, it’s about two hours northwest of Omaha, near Sioux City.”

Grant nodded. “My wife has a cousin who lives in Norfolk, I know where that is.”

“My parents are immigrants, they came from Ireland in 1948. I can speak a bit of Irish, but I understand it better. My brother speaks it better than me, but he never does. My daddy left when I was 12 because he was abusive to my brother and later I found out he was having an affair.”

Grant frowned. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Beth smiled. “Thank you, anyway, I graduated high school a year early and went to typing school in Kansas City and now I’m here,” she said, smiling at the end.

“Can I ask how many siblings you have?”

Beth nodded. “Oh sure. I have two siblings. An older brother who just turned 21 and my baby sister is 6. I’m the middle child. Uh, you asked why I wanted to work here and that’s because I love the world of news and I think being a journalist is something I’d like to work for, well until I get married and start a family. I was actually in the school newspaper during high school.”

Grant nodded. “So you have some experience in a way?”

“In a way,” she replied.

“What does your older brother do? I’m curious if you don’t mind of course.”

Beth frowned. “Oh, he got drafted in August of 1969, but he’s supposed to come home in May from Vietnam. My mom and I are really excited to see him again.”

Grant frowned and a wave of calm anger washed over his face at the mention of the war. “You know this is a very anti-war establishment.”

Beth nodded. “Yes, that’s one of the reasons I applied. About the last question, how can I make this company run better? Well, I’m young so I could bring in new ideas and help modernize the company, and I’m a really fast typer if I do say so myself. 

Grant chuckled and stood up. “Can you demonstrate for me?”

Beth nodded and also stood up. “Yes, of course.”

Grant opened the door to his office and walked out with Beth following him. He pointed to the small desk outside his office that had a baby blue typewriter on it.

“Can you sit there?”

Beth sat down and looked at the typewriter. It was one of the new models. Beth thought it was pretty.

“Do you know The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost?”

“Yes.”

“Type the first stanza as fast as you can with no mistakes,” Grant commanded.

Beth cracked her knuckles and started typing the beginning of the poem. She had memorized it when she was younger, so it was easy to transcribe. She finished and looked back up at Grant, who had a smile on his face. 

“Can you start tomorrow?”

Beth’s mouth dropped in shock. “Are you serious? I got the job?!” 

Grant nodded. “You’re one of the fastest typers I’ve seen in a very long time.” 

Beth gave him a huge smile. “Oh thank you, thank you. I can-can start tomorrow.”

Grant smiled at her enthusiasm. “Well, I hope to see you here tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll see you then, sir,” Beth said as she grabbed her purse and left the office with a grin. When she got outside, she looked up to the sky and sighed in relief. She grabbed her cross from her neck and kissed it. 

“Thank you,” she said to the blue sky.

Notes:

f for my man ronnie bc beth is just living her shit

 

sidenote: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL KUDOS I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S SO MANY I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Chapter 29: Prisoners of a Pointless and Neverending War (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Ronnie and Bobby adjust to their new circumstances

 

double update????????????????? im so nice

Notes:

I was gonna wait til Sunday but I'm like best person ever so here's another chapter

I actually did a lot of research for POW camps during the Vietnam War like on uniforms, treatment, torture, etc.

 

CW: Distressing themes throughout, please take of yourselves :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 29: Prisoners of a Pointless and Neverending War

 

12 days After Ronnie and Bobby’s capture, North Vietnam

 

 

12 days. It had been 12 days since everything came crashing down, like waves crashing into rocks, only the rocks shattered on impact. When they arrived at the POW camp, they were forced to write down their names, rank, and jobs and then subjected to a strip search. 

They took away everything. All personal items except their dog tags. They took Bobby’s watch and Ronnie’s wedding ring, the only thing he had left of Nguyệt. He didn’t protest or fight back when they took it, he just let them. After taking a mugshot-like picture, the two of them were shoved into their new home, a cell.

The cell was small and gross. It was around 9 feet long and 7 feet wide. Two old mats were used as bedrolls and there was a stack of hay next to a bucket, which Ronnie assumed was the toilet. Everything was covered in dirt or grease. There was a small and wide rectangular window near the corner with the hay. There was no glass and it was their only source of light during the day. When it rained, water leaked through.

Ronnie was glad that he was still with Bobby, but he didn't say anything to him. In fact, he hadn’t spoken a word since they were captured. Bobby, it turns out, got even chattier when he was scared or stressed, so decided he’d try to get Ronnie to talk. He gave up eventually and started talking to the other POWs who had been there for months or even years already.

Most of the other POWs were also from the army, but there were some from the Marines. The men nicknamed the place Camp Hellhole, which was something Ronnie agreed with. This place was hell.

At night, Bobby sometimes struck up a conversation with the people in the cell next to them since the walls were thin. From what Ronnie heard, there was no one to the left of them, but on the right, there were two army officers who had been there since ‘67. 

“You’ve been here for almost four years?” Bobby asked, flabbergasted.

“Yep, though it feels a fuck ton longer,” a muffled voice replied.

“I can’t even imagine. I already wanna die and I’ve only been here for like two weeks.”

One of the muffled voices laughed. “So, I know you’re from California, but what about your buddy there?”

Bobby looked at Ronnie, who was laying in his bedroll on his side just staring at the wall. He frowned looking at him and turned back to the wall. “I’m pretty sure he’s from Nebraska.”

“How come he doesn’t talk?”

“He hasn’t said a word since he saw his wife shot dead.”

Suddenly, the guards banged at the wall and told them to shut up in their heavily accented English. Bobby sighed and went over to his bedroll which was next to Ronnie. He laid down and turned to face Ronnie.

“You know, if you need anyone to talk to, I’m here, and there’s also no one else to talk to so... you kinda have to,” Bobby whispered.

Ronnie smirked, causing Bobby to smile.

“Night, Ronnie.”

Ronnie nodded and turned away from Bobby. The concrete ground was hard, but Ronnie had spent the last year sleeping in cots and mattresses made of straw, so it wasn't an extreme downgrade. He closed his eyes and hoped his sleep would be dreamless. That was not the case.

Ronnie found himself in a jungle, similar to the ones in Vietnam, but all the leaves were red. He walked up to a small tree and touched the dark red leaf and realized it was completely dipped in blood. He dropped the leaf and started to run towards a clearing ahead of him. 

When he got to the clearing he saw that there was something in the center. He walked closer to it. It was the dead Viet Cong’s body again. He stepped away from it as soon as he saw what it was, but some invisible force shoved him toward it.

The body was withered and decomposed unlike in his usual dreams, where the body was still a fresh corpse. The eyelids were closed but when Ronnie got closer, he saw they opened. Instead of eyes, blood spilled out of the eye sockets. 

Ronnie stumbled back and looked to his right. Nguyệt was standing next to him, wearing a wedding dress and a veil. Not the one she wore at their wedding, but a typical white gown with a veil. She turned to look at Ronnie and lifted the veil from her face.

She looked monotone, but tears were streaming down her face. They weren’t normal tears either, they were made of blood. They trailed down her face and fell on her dress, staining it. At the center of her forehead was a bullet wound, but there was no blood leaking from it. It just looked like a hole. She held her hand out to Ronnie.

Come with me,” she said, speaking in Vietnamese.

“Come with you where?” Ronnie asked.

She didn’t answer and put the veil back over her face. She turned around and started to walk toward the blood-covered jungle.

“Wait, Nguyệt!” Ronnie called out hoarsely.

She kept walking.

He stood up and tried to follow her, but he felt someone grab him. He turned his head and saw it was the Viet Cong corpse, now standing up, blood still spilling from his sockets, getting some on Ronnie’s arm.

“Get the fuck off me!” Ronnie cried out, trying to loosen the corpse’s grip. He turned back to Nguyệt and saw she was gone. He turned back to the corpse and punched its leathery blood-covered face and ran away from it. 

“Nguyệt?!” He called out, running back towards the blood-covered jungle. As he was running, he tripped over something and fell. He stood up and looked to see what he tripped over. He nearly fell again in shock.

It was Nguyệt, only she was wearing what she wore the last time Ronnie saw her. He stood back up and started to back away from her, but walked back into the Viet Cong corpse’s leather bloody hands. He felt the corpse touch him.

“Get away from me, get a-fucking-way me!” Ronnie yelled as he felt the blood from the corpse’s eye sockets spill all over him until he was drowning in the dense, metallic-smelling, red liquid.

Ronnie woke up gasping for air. He sat up and buried his face into his hands and started taking deep breaths. When his breathing slowed, he put his hands down and looked at the window. It was daylight already, which confused Ronnie. Normally he and Bobby were woken up around dawn. He wondered why he let them sleep.

He turned to see if Bobby was still asleep, but he saw he wasn’t even there. Why would they take Bobby but not him? Was something happening today? He rubbed his eyes, still recovering from his dream. 

He heard the room’s door suddenly and watched as two guards came in. They grabbed Ronnie by the arms and hauled him onto his feet. They started to drag him away, but Ronnie didn’t protest. He let them take him wherever the hell he was going.

They took him to the other side of the camp. Two men standing outside a door opened it for the guards and they took Ronnie inside the room. It was a room twice as big as Ronnie’s cell, with various bits of furniture. 

In the center of the room, there was a square metal table and two wooden chairs on opposite ends of the table. To his right was a counter with various things on it, but Ronnie couldn’t see what it was exactly. The left side of the room looked slightly more disturbing. There was a black dentist-looking chair with leather restraints on the arms and legs of the chair. It was slightly inclined back. There was something behind the chair, but Ronnie decided he didn’t want to know what it was, so he looked away. 

He heard someone walk in behind him. He assumed it was an officer since the guards stood up straight when he walked in. The officer walked past Ronnie and turned to face him. He looked at Ronnie and smirked. It was the officer from the day Ronnie was captured. The officer who had sentenced Nguyệt to die.

Ronnie glared at the officer with intense hate and lashed out at him. Or at least tried to, since the guards’ grip was too tight for Ronnie, who wasn’t at full strength anyway, to escape from the guards’ grip. They pulled Ronnie into one of the chairs by the table and handcuffed his hands to each arm of the chair but left his legs untied.

The officer nodded at them when they were finished and so they left the room leaving Ronnie alone with the officer. The officer sat down in the chair across from Ronnie and looked at him. 

I can see you recognize me, so there’s no need for us to speak your language. My name is Lieutenant Colonel Dao, and I am in charge of this camp. I also don’t typically come along on raids and such, so I guess you’re wondering why, but we can get to that later. I understand you haven’t spoken since your capture, but I cannot conduct an interrogation if you are silent, so you must speak now.”

Ronnie still was glaring at Dao but some of the fire had died down in his eyes.

What is your name, ranking, and what did you do prior?”

Ronnie swallowed. “You already know what I did prior.”

Dao laughed. “He speaks,” he said, switching to English. “I know you transmit messages, Corporal, I want to know if you know what is in the messages.”

Ronnie didn’t say anything and just stared at him. 

“Silent? Well, we can go down that path if you want to,” Dao offered. He pointed to the dentist’s chair. “Do you know what that is?”

Ronnie turned his head to look at the chair but still didn’t say anything.

“Well, according to the Geneva Convention of 1929 and 1949, we’re supposed to treat our prisoners of war humanely. Well, unfortunately for you, we consider them... more as guidelines.” he paused to look at Ronnie, whose face had turned slightly pale. “That is used for questioning, but I won’t tell you what it is… yet.” 

Ronnie turned to face Dao. 

Dao smirked. “That got your attention. Don’t worry, I’m feeling kind today, as long as you answer my questions.”

Ronnie swallowed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed.

“So, I will ask again, what is your name?”

Ronnie clenched his fist tightly but then let go. He then looked up at Dao. “It’s on my dog tags, why don’t you come and fucking check? It’s the only thing you didn’t take away from me.”

Dao’s cocky smile melted away and was replaced by a stern expression. “Do you know what code Ensigma is?”

Ronnie met Dao’s question with silence. 

Dao’s stern face was now an angry one. “So now you want to be silent again?”

Ronnie didn't reply. 

Dao stood up from his chair and marched to Ronnie. He bent down so they were both at level with each other. Dao leaned forward and whispered, “Answer the fucking question.”

Ronnie turned and looked at Dao. He could see he was getting frustrated, but Ronnie didn’t mind. His stubbornness was getting the best of him, and Ronnie didn’t care one bit.

“If you do not answer these questions, I promise the next time we meet with each other, you will not like the consequences.” 

Ronnie spat at Dao’s face in response.

Dao recoiled from Ronnie and wiped his face. He glared at Ronnie and punched Ronnie in the eye. 

Ronnie would have fallen if he wasn’t handcuffed to the chair, Dao could pack a punch. A groan escaped his mouth and Dao looked satisfied, finally getting a noise from him that wasn’t snarky or stupid. He yelled for the guards.

The two guards from earlier immediately ran in. Dao instructed them to take off Ronnie’s handcuffs and take him back to his cell, where he should remain until he says otherwise. 

They did what he told them and dragged Ronnie back to his cell. Ronnie thought about actually fighting back this time, but his eye was swollen shut and he knew that it’d be a black eye in a few hours. He had a black eye before, but this one felt different. He heard his eye make a sound when Dao’s fist had made contact. Jesus, that man could punch. He hardly ever prayed, but now he hoped that his eye wasn’t fucked up.

The guards slammed open the metal door, startling Bobby who was eating stale bread. They pushed Ronnie inside and slammed the door shut and locked it. Bobby stared at him.

“What’d you do?”

Ronnie didn’t say anything and sat next to Bobby. Bobby tore a piece of his bread and handed it to Ronnie, who nodded in acknowledgment and took it from him. He took a bite and nearly gagged. It tasted awful.

Bobby laughed at Ronnie’s face. “Don’t worry,” he said. “You'll get used to it.”

Ronnie nodded sadly. They ate the rest of the bread in silence. After finishing his food, Bobby stood up and stretched. 

Ronnie didn’t pay attention to him though, he was staring at the floor. Holding his emotions in all this time hadn’t been healthy and after today’s ordeal with Dao, Ronnie felt like he was going to burst. He shouldn’t have popped Dao’s buttons, but no, he had to be stupid and stubborn. 

He stared at the floor until he thought the pounding pain was going to make his eye explode. He could barely stand it anymore, so he did what anyone near insanity or had just lost a loved one would do: He broke down.

“We’re fucking die here!” Ronnie cried out, starting to shake and violently sob.

Bobby stopped stretching and turned to look at Ronnie who had dragged himself into a corner and was now crying his eyes out, something he would never have done in front of anyone before.

Bobby swallowed and watched Ronnie cry silently.

Notes:

For Context

Geneva Conventions of 1929, 1949: World discussions on how prisoners of war are to be treated. First drafted after WWI, and updated after WWII. Vietnam (or North and South Vietnam as they were two different countries at the time) never signed the conventions, but they did agree to them.

Chapter 30: Scott (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

yay we get to meet one of my favorite characters finally

 

Beth meets a boy at a bar.

Notes:

CW: sexual references, etc. (underage, see endnotes)

Happy Sunday! I'm supposed to start my spring semester tomorrow, but I tested positive for covid today so... yeah. I'm okay, my fever broke yesterday, and I just have mild symptoms now. Just glad I'm vaccinated :) Hope y'all doing well.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 30: Scott

 

Friday, March 12th, 1971, Dallas, Texas

 

 

She had been working at the newspaper for almost two weeks and at the end of today, Beth would receive her first paycheck. On her first day, she ended up working at the desk where Grant had asked her to demonstrate her typing. That meant the beautiful baby blue typewriter was hers to use. 

When she first arrived on the floor that Tuesday, a young Latina woman about a year or two older than her walked up to her. She wore a tight red pencil skirt, a red and white blazer, and a pink blouse with heels that were at least 4 inches. She smiled at Beth.

“Hi, I’m Lizzie Sardera, I’m supposed to show you the ropes around here,” she said, sticking her hand out.

Although Beth was slightly intimidated, she still shook Lizzie’s hand. “Is Lizzie short for Elizabeth?”

Lizzie nodded. “Of course, what else would it be, Betheliza or maybe Lizziebeth?”

Beth laughed and shook her head. “No, it’s just my name is Elizabeth too, but I go by Beth.”

Lizzie gave her a cheeky smile. “Well name twin, I think we’re gonna get along great.”

Lizzie was right. She and Beth immediately clicked and Beth was glad to know someone here in the city. Lizzie was talkative and funny and always had great stories to tell during her lunch break.

Lizzie’s family was from Spain and Costa Rica, but her parents had lived here all their lives. She was the second youngest of 5 and her four other siblings were all boys. Beth felt sorry for her when she told her that. 

“So your dad’s side is from Spain, your mom’s side is Costa Rican, but neither of them can speak Spanish?” Beth asked, amused.

Lizzie nodded. “Yeah, they’re both 3rd generation Americans, and their parents never bothered to teach them the language other than a few words. I learned Spanish from my mom’s best friend who’s from Peru. She used to watch me when I was a baby.” She laughed. “I speak better Spanish than my own parents.”

She and Lizzie were the youngest on the floor, but it didn't bother Beth much. Some of the other ladies were nice, but others were cold. Beth didn’t know if they were always like that or jealous because she was the editor’s private secretary.

That Friday morning, around 11, Lizzie waltzed her way over to Beth, who was typing up letters. “Hey.”

Beth looked up. “Yes?”

“You know what today is?” Lizzie asked.

“Friday?”

“Well yeah but it’s also…”

“Friday?” Beth asked again, confused.

“No! It's payday, girl.”

Beth perked up. “Already? It doesn’t seem like two weeks.”

“Well, it is. Thank God for that.”

“Yes indeed,” Beth muttered. 

They passed out checks at the end of the day. Beth gently held the envelope that contained her very first check. She carefully put it in her purse and started to clean up her desk. Lizzie, who was already holding her purse and jacket in her arms. 

“Hey, you wanna go out tonight?” Lizzie asked.

Beth looked surprised. “Really? Me? I’d be a party pooper,” Beth admitted, putting on her jacket.

“Oh nothing like that, I just meant going out for dinner.”

Beth frowned. She wanted to go with her, but she had promised to call Delilah and her mother. Plus she wanted to check out the bar near her house too, preferably alone. “I’d love to, but I promised people I’d call them today. Maybe next Friday?” Beth suggested.

Lizzie nodded. “Oh it’s okay, I didn’t really want to go out anyway, I just didn’t want you to feel left out.”

Beth smiled. “You’re too sweet.”

Beth nearly danced all the way home. She was so happy to get her first paycheck. She couldn’t wait to tell Delilah and Mary about it. She didn’t care if the paycheck wasn’t much, but she was just glad to be paid for her hard work.

When she got to her apartment, she first called Delilah, who was still in high school. They talked about boys and Delilah asked if Beth had met anyone yet. Beth told her no, but she hoped the city was full of attractive young men.

She finished her call with Delilah and then dialed up her mother’s number. The phone rang twice before being picked up.

“Hello?” Mary’s voice asked into the phone.

Beth smiled. “Hey Mom, it’s me.”

“Oh Beth baby, how are you, I miss you so much,” Mary exclaimed.

“I’m good, I just got my first paycheck today.”

“Ooh, congratulations honey. What are you going to do with it?”

Beth shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know. I think I’ll spend half and save the other half.”

“That’s smart, that’s what I did when I got my first paycheck.”

“Huh.”

“So tell me, how’s city life?”

Beth told her mother about the events of this week and about Lizzie, who she hadn’t mentioned before.”

“I’m so glad that you’re making friends, Dallas is so big, I get so scared for you.”

Beth sighed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry Mom, I’m fine.”

“I know you are, but I wouldn’t be a good mother if I didn’t worry.”

“What was it like for you when you first started working?”

Mary sighed. “Oh, I was 17. It was 1942, during the Second World War, but Ireland was neutral, or so they claimed. I remember reading some reports about helping the British, but I can’t say for sure. I didn't much attention to those things as a teenager. I didn’t work in an office as you do now, I worked in a bar in downtown Dublin.”

“You were a waitress?”

“Yes, I was for a wee bit. It’s how I met your father, he was a nationalist from Belfast drinking with some friends. I didn’t make a lot of money, but I enjoyed the job.” Mary laughed. “I got to check out boys for free.”

Beth laughed. “It sounds like you miss it.”

Mary sighed. “I do, I miss the cold air and western shores, the ocean was so blue. Freezing, but beautiful to look at. I’m glad we left, though. For the most part, I’ve been able to give my children the childhood I never had.”

Beth nodded. “You do a lot for us.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Beth, promise me you’ll call Sunday evening?”

“Only if you pay for it,” Beth said teasingly.

Mary scoffed. “Oh, alright.”

“Tell Shannon I send lots of hugs and kisses.”

“I will.”

“Bye, Mom,” Beth said into the phone.

“Goodbye, mo grá,” Mary said before hanging up.

Beth set the phone down and glanced at the watch on her wrist. 6:45. She didn’t have anything to do, so maybe she could check out the bar that was only four blocks away. Beth heard it had live music. 

She reapplied her makeup, changing her neutral lipstick to a red one. She thought her blouse and skirt looked good so she didn’t change them. Grabbing her purse, she walked out the door and set out for the bar.

Walking four blocks in heels was not a smart idea Beth soon found out. Her feet started hurting after 15 minutes and she was barely halfway there. She promised herself that she'd get a taxi when she went home. 

Sandy’s, which was the name of the bar, was also a restaurant Beth realized when she arrived at the place. She decided she’d also eat dinner there too as she opened the entrance door. 

The place was more crowded than Beth expected. People milled around and the sound of guitar and talking filled the air. She managed to find a seat at the bar, though she had to rush towards it because a cowboy had also spotted the seat. 

“What can I get for you, little lady?” the bartender asked after she sat down.

Beth glanced at the menu above. She was still 17, which meant she still couldn’t drink legally, but she doubted the bartender would ID her, she looked 18. Beth wasn’t a big fan of alcohol, so it didn’t matter that she was still underage.

“Do you have Shirley Temples?” 

The bartender nodded. “Want one?”

Beth nodded.

The bartender gave her a thumbs up and left. She turned her attention to the stage where music was being played. She didn’t recognize the song they were playing so she assumed it was either original or something Ronnie would listen to.

The man singing had a beautiful voice. If Beth heard him on the radio, she’d think he’d probably be one of those big rock stars. He was playing an electric guitar as well, so his head was dipped so he could sing and still play the guitar.

Beth crooned her neck to see what he looked like. He had dirty blond hair and was wearing black jeans and a leather jacket, but that was all Beth could see until he looked up and started to sing again. Beth nearly let out a gasp. He was one of the most handsome men Beth had ever seen in her life.

His hair was slightly messy but it looked like it was styled that way on purpose. It wasn’t long, but it wasn't short, and the strands of hair on his forehead just made him look even hotter. He was pretty far from her so she couldn’t see what his eye color was or how pink were his lips but even from afar, he looked like the pictures of Apollo, the Greek god of the sun and music, she had seen in her history textbook.  

Beth blinked hard to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. When she opened her eyes again, there he was, singing and playing guitar. She could have stared at him all night, but then remembered she was in public and she could be drooling. She wiped her face carefully, not to smear lipstick. She glanced over and saw the Shirley Temple was waiting for her. She took a sip from her drink and watched the blond boy sing and play his guitar. 

She stayed for his entire setlist, which lasted nearly two hours. Apparently, she had arrived during his first song. The crowd was mostly gone, so it felt more intimate during his last song. 

When he finished, everyone clapped loudly and then continued whatever they were doing. Beth watched him hop off stage and chug his water bottle. She blushed and turned her head away and looked at the burger she had ordered. 

She had managed to eat it all during the blond boy’s setlist which proved how much Beth could eat when she wasn’t paying attention. The burger had been the size of both of her hands

She yawned and stretched her arms, but then stopped because she felt someone behind her. She turned to see the blond boy. He was even better looking up close. She could finally see his eye color now and was surprised by it. They were a cool grey color, the same color as a cloudy sky right before a storm. Beth had never seen anyone with grey eyes before.

“Uh… hello?” Beth said, her face turning pink.

He smiled at her. “I don’t know who you are, but I think you’re gorgeous, so I’m gonna insert myself in your life,” he said, sticking his hand out. “I’m Scott Stern.”

Beth shook it, her pink face now a red one. “Beth McKittrick.”

Scott slid into the seat next to her. “Is Beth short for Elizabeth?”

Beth nodded, mentally praying that her face would go back to its original color. It was embarrassing!

“Okay well, I’ll call you Elizabeth.”

Beth’s eyes widened. “No please, it’s Beth.”

Scott gave her a smirk. “Okay, Elizabeth.”

Even though she was partially annoyed, she couldn’t help but laugh. He had this kind of energy that you couldn’t be sad around. 

Scott waved over the bartender. “Can I have a beer?”

The bartender nodded. 

Scott turned back to Beth. “Well, if I’m gonna flirt with you, I should probably get to know you.”

Beth giggled. “Good idea.”

“Here, let’s play a game. I’ll ask you a question, and then you have to ask me the same one and we keep switching, coming up with different questions until we can’t think of anything.”

Beth smiled. “Okay, I’ll go first. What’s your favorite color?”

“Green. You?”

I love pink.”

Scott glanced at her skirt, which was pink. “I can tell. Are you from here?”

“No, Nebraska.”

Scott nodded. “I’m from here, about an hour away.”

They probably talked for over two hours. Scott was more than a pretty face. Beth learned he was 19 and would turn 20 in June, other than English, he also spoke Spanish and French, his family owned a cattle and horse ranch, he had an older brother who was also three years older than him, like Ronnie was to Beth. When he wasn’t playing music, he worked in a record store and was a part-time translator for the Dallas General Hospital. He had dreams of becoming a famous rock star. 

The more they talked, the more Beth liked him. He was funny, sweet, and interesting. Not to mention he was 6’3 and extremely handsome. Beth wondered if he was some kind of angel, but then she remembered angels probably don’t drink beer and wear belt buckles and cowboy boots.  

She didn’t realize how much time had passed until she looked around and saw that the bar was pretty empty. She glanced at her watch and saw the time was 11:08 . She gasped.

“Oh my, it’s 11 already.”

Scott raised his brows in surprise. “Really? I think this bar closes in like 30 minutes then.” He then looked at Beth with a gleam in his eye. “You wanna get out of here?”

Normally Beth would have said no, but it felt wrong just even thinking about rejecting him. She nodded and hopped off her stool. Her butt was sore and numb from sitting on the stool for so long. 

She put on her jacket and paid for her drink before setting out with Scott. When they exited the building, he turned to her.

“Where do you want to go?”

Beth looked down at the asphalt and blushed. “My apartment's only a few blocks away.”

Scott gave her a look. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

Beth looked up at him and nodded. 

Scott nodded. “My car’s over there, I’ll drive if you give me directions.” he pointed to a black car parked under a street light.

Beth nodded and followed him to the car. “What type of car is it?” she asked.

“It’s a Camaro, from two years ago. My dad gave it to me for my 18th birthday.”

“That’s sweet of him.”

Scott nodded as he unlocked and opened the passenger door for Beth. “Yeah, it was.”

The ride back to her apartment was quiet and awkward. It was also quite fast, but kind of helped, but during the entire ride there was an unspoken question that lingered in the air: What was going to happen when they got to her apartment?

The tension was even thicker when she let Scott inside. They both knew what was gonna happen sooner or later. Scott took off his jacket and set it on the small table in the kitchen. He rubbed his muscular arms and looked at Beth, who was only a few feet away from him.

“Can I kiss you?’ He asked quietly.

Beth walked up to him and looked up to see his face in the dimly lit room. She nodded and stood on her tippee toes.

Scott touched her face with his hand and leaned down. When their lips made contact, Beth gave a little sigh. She felt Scott smile against her lips and he deepened the kiss. 

His lips were soft and faintly tasted like something sour, which she assumed was beer. His hands trailed from her face to her waist and then to her ass. He broke the kiss and looked at her. “Where’s your room?” he asked, his chest heaving.

Beth took his hand and led him to her room. She opened the door and quickly closed it as soon as Scott was inside too. She glanced at the bed and back at Scott, who was pulling his wallet out of his pants. She suddenly realized that she didn’t have any condoms.

“Scott?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have condoms?” She asked, her face turning pink for the millionth time that night. 

Scott chuckled. “Yeah, I usually keep some on me just in case.”

Beth’s eyes widened. “Oh, you must get around a lot.”

Scott shook his head. “No, I’ve only done it with less than 15 people. Probably.” He laughed.

Beth laughed too since she was nervous. She hadn’t had sex since Daniel and Ryan. Scott saw she had a worried look.

“If you don’t want to do this, I don’t mind leaving,” he said gently, standing in front of her.

Beth shook her head. “No, I want to, it’s just the last person I was with turned out to be an asshole.”

Scott nodded. “Well, I’m only an asshole to my brother.”

Beth laughed. “Stop making me laugh.”

Scott shrugged. “Just tryin to make you more comfortable.”

Beth stood on her tippy toes and kissed his neck, which was the highest she could go without jumping. Scott leaned down and kissed her again but as he did, he was undoing his belt. They broke for air and started to take off their shoes and socks. 

Scott took off his pants, leaving him in his white t-shirt and underwear. Beth took off her skirt, but as she started to unbutton her blouse, she felt Scott’s hands on hers. She looked up at him who looked at her. She nodded and he started to unbutton her blouse.

When he finished, she threw the top on the floor leaving her in her bra and underwear. She looked down at her body and realized she was wearing an old ugly looking bra. 

Out of all the times I wore this bra, it had to be now? Beth thought. Not to mention the fact my breasts aren’t that big either, now I just look dumpy. Maybe he won’t notice or care.

Scott took his shirt and Beth's eyes widened. He had abs, but that wasn’t what she was surprised at.

On the right side of his chest, right above his peck was a tattoo. It wasn’t anything obscene, it was just an eagle. Scott looked at Beth and sighed.
“I take it you don’t like tattoos.”

Beth pursed her lips. “I don’t, but it doesn’t matter. It's only one, right?”

Scott nodded. “Can we have sex now?”

Beth giggled and pulled down her underwear. Scott stared at her. Even though it was dark in her room, she could see that his eyes had a lustful gleam in them. She unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor leaving her completely naked. Beth fell back into her bed and spread her legs open.

Scott tugged off his boxers, his erect cock springing out. He crawled onto Beth and kissed her harshly. Beth grabbed him by his hair and pulled him close to her body. They kissed again as Beth’s hand trailed down his body, going lower and lower until she touched him. 

He groaned slightly and moved one of his hands on her breasts. Beth gasped softly as her hand slowly slid up and down his cock. He shifted his body so she could get a better reach and started attacking her neck, kissing and then starting to bite it. Beth moaned. 

She started to pick up her pace, but Scott grabbed her hand.

“Let’s save that for later,” he said, looking up from her neck.

Beth nodded and pushed his head toward her chest. He kissed the area between her breasts, and she felt his hand on her crotch. She moaned softly again and closed her eyes as she felt him slip a finger inside of her. Tonight was going to be interesting.

 

***

 

Beth woke up the next morning sore and tired. She groaned and opened her eyes to see Scott staring at her. She gave him a weird look.

“What are you staring at?” She asked him.

Scott leaned towards her face and kissed her on the nose. “You.”

Beth blushed and smiled.

As Scott was leaving, Beth pulled him back.

He cocked a brow. “Yeah?” he asked, slightly confused.

Beth handed a slip of paper that had her number, a restaurant name, and her address. 

He looked at Beth, even more confused. “What’s this for?”

“Our date is next Friday,” Beth said like he had known all this time. “The restaurant's nice so dress up.”

“Our what?”

She smirked at him as she started to close her door. “Pick me up at 6. Don’t be late.”

Notes:

as you can also tell I've changed formatting bc i didn't realize the little space thing is automatic bc I'm dumb lol.

 

CW: Beth is 17, about to turn 18 in less than a month, and Scott is 19. It is only two years, but Scott is legally an adult

For Context

Shirley Temple: A non-alcoholic drink traditionally made with ginger ale and a splash of grenadine, garnished with a maraschino cherry. Modern Shirley Temple recipes may substitute lemon-lime soda or lemonade and sometimes orange juice in part, or in whole. Named after 30s child actor Shirley Temple (Wiki)

Chapter 31: The Ugly Truth (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Happy Wednesday!

 

Beth takes Scott home for her birthday and gets more than she bargained for. Scott gets an opportunity of a life time.

Notes:

CW: Some distressing themes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 31: The Ugly Truth

 

Saturday, April 10th, 1971



The last four weeks had been heaven for Beth. She worked at a job she enjoyed, she had friends, and the best part, she had Scott. They seemed to go together so well that when she introduced Scott to Lizzie, Lizzie thought that they had been dating for at least a year.

It had only been about a month since they started dating, but Beth had a feeling that the relationship was a serious one. So serious that she forced Scott to come to Ridge's Creek to meet her mom and sister for her 18th birthday, which was that Monday.

“I still think it’s way too soon,” Scott said as he drove down the mostly abandoned highway. “We’ve only been together a month.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I think it’s never too early,” Beth replied.

Scott scoffed loudly. “You just want to use my car since you don’t have one.”

Beth smiled mischievously. “Maybe,” she muttered.

Scott rolled his eyes. He then turned his head and glanced at Beth. “You know, I don’t know much about your family other than that your brother’s in Vietnam and your sister turns 9 next month. Is there anything I need to know before I meet your mother?”

Beth pursed her lips. “Don’t tell her we’ve had sex.”

Scott nodded. "Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Or that you have a tattoo. She’ll flip out. Might even kill you.”

“Got it.”

“If she asks if you’re Catholic, just say yes.”

“My mom’s a Quaker, does that count?”

Beth looked surprised. “I didn’t know that."

Scott nodded. “Yeah, she believes in no guns and stuff and cried for like four hours when my brother got sent to Vietnam. My dad’s a Lutheran.”

“That’s interesting,” Beth said.

Scott shrugged. “I guess.”

After 7 hours of driving, they finally made it to Ridge's Creek. It still looked like the same town Beth had left nearly two months ago. Beth felt nostalgic as they drove through the town, and made a mental note to herself that she'd call up Delilah sometime before she left Sunday evening. 

“So straight to your mom’s house right?”

Beth shook her head. “I wanna show you around before we meet my mom.”

She first took him to the lake. The water was brown so Beth assumed it had rained recently, and she was on her period so even if she wanted to swim in the water, she couldn’t. 

“You call that a lake? It looks like an overgrown puddle,” Scott commented when he saw it.

Beth laughed. “Not all of us are from Texas, Scott.”

“Well, I guess everything really is bigger in Texas.”

Beth then pointed to her left. “Further down is a path leading to a large farmhouse that burned down in the 30s. It’s a popular make-out spot.”

Scott laughed. “Even small towns have their lover’s lanes.” He turned to her. “Have you ever been here?”

Beth blushed. “Shut up.”

Scott raised his hands. “Okay, I will.”

They got back into Scott’s car and drove to Mary’s house. When she got closer to her house she saw that the old truck was gone and instead of her mother’s or brother’s cars, there was a brand new tan Ford Cortina in the driveway. 

Beth pursed her lips. She couldn’t take Ronnie’s truck to Dallas, but her mother could sell it and get herself a new car. She had a few words to say to her when she got inside.

Scott parked his car in the driveway and stopped it. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and glanced at Beth. “I still think that it’s too soon. How about I wait in the car, and you go in?

Beth rolled her eyes. “Oh my gosh, we’re already here, so shut up and come on.”

Scott sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Yes, ma’am,” he muttered as he opened his door and got out of the car. 

As they walked to the front door, Beth saw a pink little bike in the grass. Must be Shannon’s, she thought. She knocked on the door and stepped back next to Scott, who had a genuine nervous look on his face. 

“Can I tell you something?” He muttered.

“What?”

“I’ve never met the parents in any of the relationships I’ve had.”

“Oh,” Beth said, looking down at the sidewalk. This was going to be interesting. 

The door opened, and Beth expected to see her mother but found Shannon standing at the door instead. 

She grinned, revealing a missing front tooth, which had been there the last time Beth saw her. “BETH!” she shouted, rushing to hug Beth. 

Beth ruffled her sister’s hair and smiled. “Did you lose a tooth?”

Shannon let go of her sister and nodded. She smiled and pointed at the gap in her mouth. “I did! Three days ago.” She then noticed Scott, who was standing next to Beth. She gave him a confused look. “Who are you? You’re very handsome.”

Both Beth and Scott laughed. Scott stepped forward, crouched down, and held his hand out to Shannon.

“Hi, I’m Scott, I’m your sister’s boyfriend.”

Shannon giggled and shook his hand eagerly. “I’m Shannon. Can you be my boyfriend, pretty please?”

Scott laughed. “Maybe in 12 years or so since you asked so nicely.”

Satisfied with Scott’s answer, Shannon let go of his hand and ran back into the house. Beth glanced at her boyfriend.

“Was that so hard?”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Yes, the hardest thing I ever had to do,” he replied sarcastically. 

Beth scoffed. “You’re just a nicer version of my brother.”

Scott cocked a brow. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Oh, that depends,” she replied as she stepped inside the house.

The house hadn’t changed at all. Everything was the way Beth remembered it. Everything looked exactly the same the day Beth had left. It seemed like she hadn’t left at all. Now that she thought about it, the house had looked the same since she was a kid. The only big change was when Mary kicked out her father and got rid of a bunch of stuff.

She walked into the living room and saw her mother sitting at the dining table. There was a high chair at the table too, which confused Beth since Shannon stopped using that a long time ago. 

“Why is there a highchair, Mom? Did someone you know have a baby over?” Beth asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

Mary looked up and her eyes widened. She stood up and wiped her face before greeting her daughter.

“Oh! I didn’t think you were coming until tonight,” Mary said, giving her daughter a quick hug.

Beth noticed her face was red, but she didn't say anything. Mary turned her head and saw Scott, who was standing awkwardly behind Beth. Scott walked over and smiled. 

“Hi, I’m Scott Stern, I’m your daughter's boyfriend. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. McKittrick,” He said politely. He smiled, but he saw tears slip from her face and stopped. “Are you alright, ma’am?” he asked.

Beth looked at her mother and realized why her face was red. She had been crying. She now noticed her eyes were puffy too, which meant she had been crying for a while. 

Beth frowned and rushed to hug Mary. “Mom, what happened?”

At the same moment, Shannon appeared again, this time struggling to carry a baby. A baby? Why the hell was Shannon holding a baby? Beth thought, stunned.

“Benjamin, Benjamin, Benjamin,” Shannon sang as the baby started to slip from her arms. 

Scott rushed to Shannon and grabbed the baby from her. “Okay, that’s not how we hold a baby,” he muttered, mainly to himself and Shannon.

Beth let go of her mother and stared at the baby. He was about 5 or 6 months old and was just wearing a green shirt and a diaper. He was clearly part Asian since he had monolid eyes, but he also looked very familiar. 

Then Beth realized that she did recognize the baby. Only in pictures when he was much younger, but he had the same nose and lips as his father, her brother. She whipped her head back to her mother.

“Is that Benjamin? Ronnie’s baby in Vietnam? Why is-” She started asking, but faltered as her face turned pale. “What happened?”

Mary rubbed her face. “You should sit down.”

Beth’s shoulders started to shake. “Is he?”

Mary shook her head. “No.” she then looked down at the floor. “I don’t know.”

Beth sat down in a chair and so did Mary. Mary sighed and took a deep breath. She then started speaking.

“Four days ago military officials went to the house. I had just gotten off of work and was making dinner when I heard the door knock. I opened to three men in suits along with a woman who was holding a baby. They asked me if I was Mary McKittrick, and I said yes and then they asked me to come inside and that it was important.”

Mary took another deep breath before continuing. “They informed me that on February 27th, the village and camp where Ronnie was stationed had been raided. About a dozen people were killed and more were injured. They apparently captured three men, including Ronnie, but one of them was killed before they could move them to wherever they were going.”

Beth stared at her mother in shock. Mary wiped at her eyes again.

“The wife was found dead, but someone managed to grab the baby before everything went down. Since Benjamin is an American citizen, they allowed him to travel back as an emergency to live with relatives until something could be done.”

Mary started to tremble again. “They don’t know if Ronnie’s dead, alive, or a prisoner of war. He’s now listed as missing in action.”

Mary began to cry again. Beth stared at her mother as tears ran down her face. He had been missing since she left for Dallas. While she was having the time of her life, her brother was in hell. She remembered that Scott had been standing this whole time and turned to her head to see him.

Scott was still standing, his face expressionless and silent. Benjamin was still in his arms, but now he had fallen asleep. Mary realized that Scott was there and stood up.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry you had to meet me like this. This is the last thing someone would want when meeting your girlfriend’s parents.”

Scott shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine, please don’t apologize.” He paused and looked at Benjamin. “A similar situation happened a couple of years ago to my family,” he muttered.

Beth looked at Scott. She didn’t know that. He mentioned that his brother had gone to Vietnam and got sent home early due to an injury, but was there more to the story than Scott let on?

Beth stood up and looked at Scott. He frowned. 

“I’m so sorry,” he told her.

Beth nodded and took Benjamin upstairs. “I’m gonna-gonna put him to bed. Where does he sleep, Mom?”

“I put Shannon’s old crib in Ronnie’s room,” Mary said, her voice breaking on her son’s name.

Beth nodded and went up the stairs. It had been a while since Beth held a baby, but she got used to it fast. She opened her brother’s room with one hand and stepped inside.

She hadn’t been in there since November 1969. There was no need to, so she didn’t bother. Her mother locked the room, so Shannon wouldn’t get in there anyway. His room still looked like how it did when he was still working on the horse ranch. Dust had collected in some areas of the room, in the center was Shannon’s crib, which used to be Beth's, right next to his desk.

Beth carefully put Benjamin in the crib. He shifted a bit to get comfortable, then he passed out like before. She smiled at his sleeping figure sadly before looking at Ronnie’s desk. 

There were some pictures that he had sent back along with the signed napkin and guitar pick he got from Jimi Hendrix. Beth was always jealous of it, but now looking at it made her want to cry even more. 

She picked up the pictures and sat on his bed. The first picture was one of his whole platoon. Everyone looked like a square with the buzzcuts, but she could see Laurie and Ronnie smirking at the camera like they had just told a funny joke.

She wondered about Laurie. Mary hadn’t mentioned so she assumed that he wasn’t one of the ones that were captured, but lord, he must feel terrible right now. She felt tears fall down her face, so she stopped looking at the pictures, knowing she’d cry even more if she did. 

She looked around her brother's room as silent tears slipped down her face. She buried her face into her hands and sobbed quietly, careful not to wake up the sleeping baby.

 

***

 

The rest of the trip had been full of crying and awkward silences. Everyone tried to keep a happy face for Benjamin and Shannon, who still didn’t fully understand the gravity of the situation, but the news of Ronnie had deeply soured the trip. 

When she visited Delilah right before she left, she couldn’t stop crying to the point that Delilah was basically handing her tissues. When they hugged goodbye, Beth probably dampened Delilah’s clothes. 

Before she left, Beth took all the pictures that Ronnie sent home. Mary didn’t mind, they made her cry when she looked at them now. Beth wanted to have something of her brother before she went back to Dallas. 

If anything, Beth felt horrible for Scott. She had dragged him with her only to be greeted with life-changing news. He had acted so politely about it, but Beth now wished she had let him stay behind. Beth could barely imagine what it was like to meet someone’s family only to be greeted with a great loss, and she had witnessed it, she was the family with the horrid news.

The drive home Sunday night was long and quiet. Scott didn’t play music and only looked away from the road to see the map or give Beth a pitiful look. 

He dropped her off at her apartment and offered to stay the night, but Beth said no, and that she wanted to be alone. He nodded and said call me if you need anything.

Beth called in sick on Monday and Tuesday. She spent those two days crying and dragging herself around her room in her pajamas. She was always jealous of her brother and annoyed him often, and now there was a chance he was dead, it had to be a punishment from God or something. 

On Wednesday, she showed up 15 minutes late to work and refused to speak to anyone, even to Lizzie who kept asking what was wrong. She barely did any work and ended up having to stay late to finish everything. 

It was already 7 by the time she got home. She kicked off her shoes and immediately crashed into her tiny sofa. She felt like crying again, but she had run out of tears to cry. It was pointless to cry anyway. It wouldn’t solve anything.

She ended up actually going through Ronnie’s photos. She first looked at the one she looked at back home, the one with Laurie and Ronnie smirking at the camera. She turned the picture around and saw it was dated November 1969, so they must have taken it shortly after they arrived. She set the photo down and looked at the next one.

The next one was a picture of Ronnie in a tent smoking. Next to him was a black man around the same age and wearing the same uniform. They were both laughing like they had just told each other a joke. On the back, it said Jake and Ronnie smoking in a nonsmoking area, Jan. 1970. She recognized the handwriting to be Laurie’s.

The following pictures were from Ronnie’s wedding day. The wedding party consisted of several men in formal military uniforms and Vietnamese women wearing the same type of dress so Beth guessed it must be a formal dress in their culture.

Ronnie stood in the center of all the wedding pictures, and next to him, a small Asian woman. Beth looked at Nguyệt. She seemed so happy and had an innocent twinkle in her eyes that you could even see in photographs. Beth saw that Benjamin had the same eyes as her.

She was supposed to be a woman Beth would get to meet and become friends with. They raise their children together and watch them play in each other's backyards. Now she was dead, and Benjamin didn't have a mother. Or a father at the moment.

Beth sniffed and looked at other pictures of her brother. As the dates of the photos became more recent, Beth could see that Ronnie smiled more and looked genuinely happy around Nguyệt. It was almost like Jennifer never existed. Setting the pictures down, Beth stood up from the sofa and sighed. She prayed that her brother was okay.

Beth slacked off the next day at work as well. She was on time today but worked so slowly that a 9 year old could have done better than her. She could see some of the other ladies giving her looks and judging, but she didn’t care. They had absolutely no idea what happened or what personal hell Beth was going through.

She skipped her lunch break to try to catch up on the backlog but found herself dazed and staring at the window instead. She felt a hand tap on her shoulder which shook her out of her daze. Beth turned around to see it was her boss, Mr. Grant.

“Yes sir?” Beth asked.

Grant’s head jerked towards his office. “Beth, can I speak to you in my office?”

Beth nodded and stood up. She followed Grant inside and stared at her shoes. Grant sat in his chair and looked at Beth.

“Can you sit down?”

Beth sat down.

“Can you look at me?”

Beth looked up from her shoes.

Grant folded his hands on his desk and looked at her. “Is everything alright?”

“What do you mean?” Beth said, putting on a fake smile.

“You called in sick Monday and Tuesday, you barely did any work yesterday and you’ve done even less work today. You seem distant and unfocused.”

Beth dropped the happy face. “Oh.”

“Did something happen over the weekend?”

Beth swallowed back a sob and nodded.

“Can you tell me?”

Beth, her emotions now running high, felt a tear slip down her face. She wiped it immediately. “I celebrated my 18th birthday over the weekend.”

Grant nodded.

“I went home to Nebraska for it and brought my boyfriend along as well so he could meet my mother and sister. When we got there, I found my mom extremely upset, her face was red and her eyes were puffy.” Beth paused and took a deep breath. She could feel tears start to well up in her eyes.

“It’s okay, take your time,” Grant said gently.

Beth nodded and wiped her eyes. “My brother’s missing in action. They-they don’t know if he’s dead, alive, or a prisoner of war,” Beth choked out as her voice broke towards the end. Not only was her brother missing, but she was also now crying in front of her boss! Could this get any better?

Grant leaned back in his chair and gave Beth a look of genuine concern and worry. “I’m so sorry, I can’t tell how sorry I am. That is so cruel and unjust to your brother and your family.”

Beth nodded. “Thank you.”

“I can give some time off.”

Beth wiped her face once again and sat up straight. She shook her head. “No, it’s okay, this can help me keep my mind off of it, I promise I won’t slack off,” she said firmly.

Grant nodded. “Okay.”

Beth held true to her promise afterward. It felt kind of nice to tell someone about her problems and have them just listen. Maybe that's why people liked talking to therapists. They listen to you. 

Scott called her after work and asked to meet her at his apartment. Beth agreed and took a taxi to his apartment. 

Scott lived in Irving and was a 30-40 minute taxi ride from Beth’s apartment. Beth had only been to his apartment once, but she loved it. It was brand new and twice the size of her apartment. It had two bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, and it had its own washing machine and dryer, something most apartments did not have. Having rich parents probably helped. Plus, he also had two jobs. 

When Beth knocked on the door, Scott gave her a dopey smile as he opened it. 

"Hey, Elizabeth.”

Beth scoffed and walked inside. 

“Someone’s feeling better,” he muttered as he shut the door.

Beth turned around and faced him. “I guess. I told my boss what happened and that seemed to help a little bit.”

Scott wrapped his arms around her. “That’s good.”

Beth leaned her head on his chest and nodded. 

Scott let go after a bit and looked down at Beth. “So shorty, you’re probably wondering why I called you here?”

Beth stared at Scott. “You’re never gonna call me Beth, are you?”

Scott gave her a cheeky grin. “I dunno,” he said, shrugging.  “Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Do you remember when I sent some music demos to like a dozen or so record companies like right before we met?”

Beth nodded.

“Well I got replies from most of them now, I haven’t looked at them yet, because I want to do it with someone.”

“You want me to help you?”

Scott nodded shyly.

Beth gave him a pouty face. “Aww, you’re so cute sometimes.”

Scott rolled his eyes and walked over to his living room, where Beth could see various envelopes on his coffee table.

“You want something to eat?”

Beth shook her head and sat down on the couch. She was glad that Scott asked her to come over. It could keep her mind off Ronnie. Even mentioning his name made her want to cry.

They spent the next hour looking at letters and discussing record companies. Several had said no, but others said they were interested. They were mostly smaller record labels, but one with a logo Beth recognized caught her eye.

“Oh my gosh, I think that’s a letter from Capitol Records,” she exclaimed in shock.

Scott picked it up from the pile and stared at the envelope. “I-uh sent the demo to them but I’d never thought they would actually even reply,” Scott stammered, staring at the Capitol Records logo on the envelope.

“What are you waiting for? Open it!” 

“Calm down, girl,” Scott replied as he picked up the letter opener on the coffee table. He opened the envelope with the knife and pulled out a white folded piece of paper.

“You know who else is signed by Capitol Records? Beth asked. 

Scott looked at her. “Please enlighten me.”

“The Beatles are signed to Capitol Records.”

“They broke up.”

Beth frowned. “Don’t remind me. I cried for 4 hours straight when I found out.”

Scott cocked a brow. “You were part of Beatlemania?”

Beth blushed. “Maybe.” 

Scott chuckled. “Of course you were.”

Beth sighed. “Oh just read what they said already, Scott!”

“Okay, Jesus,” Scott muttered as he unfolded the paper.  

“You shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” Beth said quietly.

Scott looked away from the letter and back at Beth. “Do you want me to read it or not?”

Beth just pursed her lips.

Scott went back to the letter and continued reading silently. When he finished, he set the letter and looked at Beth with no emotion on his face.

Beth frowned. “No, they rejected you, didn't they? I’m so sorry, Scott. Are you okay?”

“They want to meet me. Face to face.”

Beth was taken aback. “What?”

Scott smiled. “They want to meet me, face to face,” he repeated, this time with excitement.

Beth smiled and hugged her boyfriend. “Oh my, so that’s amazing, I can’t believe it.”

Scott nodded. “Me neither. I think I must be dreaming.” he then pinched his arm. “No, definitely not dreaming,” he said, his smile growing even bigger.

“What are you going to do?”

Scott picked up the letter from the couch. “They gave me a number to call.”

“What are you waiting for? Call it! It’ll make me feel better,” she said, giving him a pouty face.

“I guess I’ll call it,” he said, chuckling. “You wait here,” he then said pointing at Beth.

Beth nodded. “Okay.”

Scott climbed over the couch and jogged over to his phone near his kitchen. Beth heard him pick up the phone and start punching in numbers. Beth turned back to the coffee table and started tapping her foot in anticipation.

She could believe that a major record label was interested in Scott. It seemed like she was watching a movie and she and Scott were starring. Now all they needed was a big musical entourage that featured sparkly dancing women wearing skimpy outfits.

Scott was on the phone for a while. She didn’t keep track of how long, but it felt like an eternity. She cracked her knuckles and shoulders, went to the bathroom, came back, counted to 217, and learned that Scott’s coffee table had a drawer that was empty except for dust. She wondered if he knew about it since it seemed like it had never been opened before.

Finally, she heard footsteps coming back to the living and eagerly turned her head to see Scott’s face. He went to the couch and sat next to her.

“So?” Beth asked.

“I got a meeting in about a month at their office downtown.”

Beth clapped in delight and kissed Scott on the lips. “I’m so proud of you, honey.”

Scott kissed her back. “I’m proud of me too,” he said against her lips.

It had seemed in that happy moment that Beth had forgotten all about her brother. 

Notes:

I was in Irving a few weeks ago, so I thought that was funny. Update on me, I'm feeling a lot better, but I still have a bad cough, hoarse voice, and stuffy nose.

Kudos and comments are always very much appreciated :)

 

For Context

Capitol Records: An American record label owned by Universal Music Group through its Capitol Music Group imprint. It was founded as the first West Coast-based record label of note in the United States in 1942 by Johnny Mercer, Buddy DeSylva, and Glenn E. Wallichs. Capitol was acquired by British music conglomerate EMI as its North American subsidiary in 1955. (Wiki)

Beatlemania: The fanaticism surrounding the English rock band the Beatles in the 1960s.

Chapter 32: Bobby’s Truth and the Second Encounter (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Bobby lets out a big secret. Ronnie stubbornness backfires

Notes:

hey guys! i wanna thank all y'all bc i almost have 200 hits on this, and that means so much to me, so i wanna thank you :) I don't have covid anymore, but I probably won't come to school until wednesday bc i still have a really bad cough.

 

CW: Extremely distressing content (see endnotes, stay safe)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 32: Bobby’s Truth and the Second Encounter 

 

Tuesday, April 19th, 1971, North Vietnam

 

 

Ronnie opened his eyes as the 6 o’clock bell went off all around the camp. It was a loud blaring noise that made Ronnie want to stuff cotton balls in his ears whenever he heard it. The dreaded sound meant the start of a new day in Camp Hellhole.

He and Bobby were first escorted to the showers, where they were allowed to shower once a week on Tuesdays. They were given new underwear on Tuesdays as well, but other than that, Ronnie was still wearing the same clothes they had given him from February, a thin purple and red striped shirt and pants with poorly made leather sandals. The less he thought about it, the better.

After showering, they were taken to an open area in the center of the camp, where they could converse with other prisoners there before the workday began. It was the closest thing to freedom Ronnie had, even though it only lasted till 7:00.

Nearly everyone was thin and scraggly looking. Hair was unkempt and beards were common. Some people didn’t have beards though, mainly because of malnourishment. Ronnie had never grown a beard before but now he had one. He didn’t know what it looked like but was always itchy when he sweated. If your beard grew too long, the guards would shave it, which sounded horrifying, so Ronnie hoped that he’d never have to go through that.

He figured out pretty fast that the interrogations weren't for information. The interrogations were meant to break you. He had been taken to different rooms since, but not with Dao. They'd ask you meaningless questions and then punch you, hit you with an iron. Ronnie almost always had some form of a black eye and bruises covering his body. Ronnie hadn't said anything yet, sadly to the guards' dismay. He'd be surprised if he still had a decent-looking nose by the end of this. 

Ronnie, who now spoke and talked to other people, had gotten to know some of the other men who were also here. He didn’t talk to all of them, but Bobby would sometimes drag him along to talk. Ronnie didn’t know how Bobby could talk so much, even to the people who were slightly racist to him since he was black. Bobby probably had spoken more in those two months than he had spoken the entire time they were stationed back at the village.

The day didn’t truly begin until 7:00. Sometimes Ronnie was forced to do labor and other times, he and Bobby were put back in their cell and forced to spend the rest of the day there. Food was only served at dinner, which meant Ronnie's stomach made noises during the day. His body had gotten used to the lesser amount of food after a while, so now it didn’t bother him as much.

Since Ronnie could speak Vietnamese, he was often put to work translating documents they had captured. He didn’t want to do them, but considering he was flanked by two guards with guns the whole time, he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Today he was translating papers captured by North Vietnam. He was given blank sheets of paper and two blunted pencils to write with. The pile of papers was high today, but as Ronnie started to go through them, he saw they weren’t important and talked about random things and reports. He wondered why they were making him translate stuff that could easily be thrown out, but he didn’t say anything. 

He spent 6 hours translating those papers and by the end, he thought his hand would fall off. He could barely feel his hand and lower arm and had to hold it with his left hand until he could feel it again. At least it was better than hard labor in the beating sun and rain.

Bobby wasn’t in the cell when Ronnie came back. Ronnie wasn’t worried though, the day didn’t end till 6:00 because Ronnie knew they were given food around 6:30

To pass time, Ronnie typically counted random things or thought about things that made him happy. He first imagined swimming in the lake with Laurie in the late afternoon, whether after work or school. The water was cold and felt good against the hot prairie sun. Then he imagined sitting on his roof outside his room watching the sunset and smoking a cigarette. God, he’d give anything to have a smoke right now. 

Ronnie hadn’t had a cigarette since he was captured. He wasn’t too sure how long ago it was, but it felt like an eternity. Since he knew today was a Tuesday, he could probably do the math to figure out the exact date, but he didn’t bother. He hated math. 

The first few weeks without cigarettes had been awful. He was already in shock by everything that was happening, and the nicotine withdrawal made it a hundred times worse. He went from smoking anywhere from 5 to two packs of cigarettes a day to zero. He had smoked around 9 years and to be suddenly cut off? It was pure torture. The only good thing about the lack of nicotine was that it was good for his health.

 It was a miracle his lungs weren’t pure shit and his teeth were still somehow white, though they’d probably start to yellow soon considering that he hadn’t brushed his teeth since he was captured. Maybe when he finally got out of here he’d cut down on the smoking. 

If you get out of here, a small voice said in the back of his head.

He thought about his mother and sisters and wondered what they were doing. In his last letter, Beth was planning on moving to Dallas, but he doubted she actually went through with it. Mary would be devastated. 

He thought about the time he and Jennifer went to Galveston for Pamela’s wedding and her reaction to seeing the beach for the first time. The memory used to make him sad, but now it seemed like a lifetime ago. Far away from where he was now. 

He didn’t know how much time passed when Bobby was brought back to the cell, but Ronnie assumed it was around 6 since the light from the window had taken an orange color.

The metal door slammed open, and two guards shoved a very miserable-looking Bobby inside. Bobby glared at them but didn’t say anything. They closed the door again and locked it. As Bobby limped away from the door, their food was pushed into the room from an opening at the bottom of the door. He picked up the tray, consisting of two small cups of water and two bowls of soup that were probably stale. He sat down next to Ronnie and handed his food over to him.

“Thanks, man,” Ronnie muttered as he took the bowl of soup and cup from Bobby.

Bobby nodded and wolfed down his water. He wiped his mouth and then turned to Ronnie. “I think they treat me worse because I’m black,” he said, raising his middle finger at the metal door.

Ronnie didn’t say anything and just started to eat his soup. It was a brown color and looked like mud. Ronnie gulped and downed it as fast as he could. It tasted awful. 

“I’m pretty sure shit tastes better,” Ronnie said, setting down his half-finished bowl.

Bobby laughed and picked up his bowl. “Time to eat worse-than-shit soup then.”

After they both finished their food, Bobby put the cups and bowls back on the tray and slid them through the opening, and sat back next to Ronnie against the wall. Bobby, who usually was quite talkative, was quiet. Ronnie wondered if something had happened. 

“You okay?” Ronnie asked after a while.

Bobby shrugged. He then looked at Ronnie with a serious face. “How do you feel about me bunking with you?”

“What do you mean?”

Bobby sighed. “I mean because I’m black.”

Ronnie turned to look at Bobby’s face and gave him an appalled look. “What would make you think that I would feel that way?”

“Nothing, I just-”

“Bobby, what the hell would make you think I would feel that way? Did I do something?.”

Bobby put his hands up in surrender. “No, no, it’s just… I need to tell you something, and it’s gonna change the way you view me, and you might hate me and think I’m sick,” he said, looking away from Ronnie.

Ronnie frowned at his friend. “You know I’m pretty open-minded. Like honestly if my dad was still around, he’d probably accuse me of being a commie or a socialist… maybe even be a Yippie.”

Bobby stared at the floor for a while. He then looked up at Ronnie, his face pale and nervous. “I’m… I’m a homosexual.”

Ronnie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’ve known since I was a kid. ‘Round 8 I think, but I was always a bit different than my brothers and the boys they played with. I grew up outside of Baton Rouge in a three-bedroom house with my mama, dad, and my three older brothers. I’ve always had to share a room, and when my sister Louisa was born, she got the other room, so it was four of us crammed in one space,” Bobby said, starting to ramble.

He took a deep breath and continued. “My dad was a cook, and my mama’s a maid for a hotel. My two oldest brothers, Samuel and Eddie, were twins and they left the house right after I figured that maybe I was into men. Samuel enlisted in the army while Eddie started working as a janitor at a university and took night classes. ‘Bout a year later after Samuel enlisted, he came back home in a wooden box. 

My dad was devastated. He-he died of a heart attack later that year. Mama thinks that they lynched him, but they never looked into his death. After that, Eddie got more involved with the civil rights movement and went to marches, rallies, and even got arrested a few times. He even met Martin Luther King a couple of times. 

Mama never let me, John, or Louisa in that stuff early on. She was scared I think. But I think she could have had a better life. Her dad was white and grandma was pretty light, she could easily pass for white, but she never tried to take advantage of it and never went anywhere. She still hasn’t stepped foot outside of Louisiana. 

I figured I was gay after I realized I liked my neighbor’s older brother a little too much. He was good-looking, and I liked to watch him play football. Heard my mama and dad talkin’ about queers once and realized that I might be one.

John moved to California when I was 16, and I went with him. We lived in San Francisco, where I was first really introduced to homosexuality. Got a boyfriend, graduated high school, and even got a job at the post office. John got married and moved to Sacramento, so he never found out about my sexuality. No one in my family knows I’m gay. I guess I’m ashamed and I’ve been too scared to say something. 

When I got drafted, I thought about saying something to Louisa since she and I had always been close, but I chickened out. I’m too much of a pussy even to tell the truth to my family. I had to say something to someone, man, and well, guess now it’s you.”

Ronnie remained silent throughout the entire time Bobby talked. When he finished, Ronnie was still quiet, staring at the dirty floor, not looking at Bobby. 

Bobby looked at him. “Well, aren’t you gonna say something?” he asked, his voice sounding like a mixture of anger and upset. 

Ronnie nodded and looked up at his friend. “Bobby, at this point you could tell me you’re actually an alien from Mars with a vagina and 3 boobs and I still wouldn’t care. I’m too worn out to care. It’s your life, not mine and who am I to judge? I got a girl pregnant within 3 months of being stationed in fucking Vietnam,” he said with a big sigh.

Bobby laughed quietly.

“I must be someone you trust if you can say that to me, and that means a lot to me,” Ronnie said, putting his hand on Bobby’s shoulder.

Bobby nodded. “Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice breaking. 

Bobby then stood up and went to his bedroll. He lay down and his shoulders started to shake. Ronnie heard a sniffle and realized Bobby was crying, but he couldn’t tell if it was tears of joy, pain, or sorrow. 

 

Early May 1971

 

After the ordeal with Bobby’s sexuality, the two of them had grown closer. Ronnie found himself telling Bobby things he hadn't even told Laurie. Maybe it was because Bobby seemed easier to talk about personal things, or it was like what Bobby had said earlier: There’s also no one else to talk to, so you kinda have to talk to me. 

They hadn’t been needed for work or any form of labor recently, so the two of them had been stuck in their cell for who knows how many days. Ronnie didn’t mind being confined to the cell, it was better than translating papers and working in the hot sun or the pouring rain. But it got boring fast and he knew if Bobby wasn’t in there with him, he’d probably go insane. 

“So you’re telling me that you were at Woodstock, AND you don’t remember any of it?” Bobby asked dumbfounded, looking at Ronnie like he was an idiot, which in Bobby’s opinion at the moment, he was an extreme idiot. He wasn’t wrong.

“Hey, I remember Hendrix and like buying LSD and weed when I got there with my ex-girlfriend, but I don’t remember anything else,” Ronnie said, trying to defend himself.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Bobby snorted and then made a serious face. 

Ronnie noticed and cocked a brow. "What's up?"

"There's something I need to tell you," he said quietly.

Ronnie scooted closer to Bobby. “You good?”

Bobby looked down and rubbed his eye. "I uh I-"

Before Bobby could finish his statement, the metal door unlocked and slammed open. Two guards came in and grabbed Ronnie.

“Hey, what the fucking hell, you assholes?!” Ronnie said as they hauled him onto his feet and took him away. He gave Bobby a confused look as was taken out of the room. 

As they walked, Ronnie realized they were going to the same place where he’d been interrogated the first time. He hadn’t seen Dao since, which made him nervous, considering Dao punched him so hard his left eye was now permanently dilated according to Bobby.

They took Ronnie down the same hallway, through the same room, and tied him to the same chair as the last time. When they entered the room, Ronnie saw that Dao was already inside. When the guards left, Dao smirked.

“How is the eye?” He asked condescendingly.

“I’m told it’s permanently dilated, but I haven’t seen my reflection in God knows how long,” Ronnie replied, also in a condescending manner.

Dao didn’t say anything and whistled loudly. The door opened again and four different guards came in with a man that was clearly a local and a man with honey-blond hair and a standard army officer uniform. “Corporal, this is Evan Polanski of the United States Army. He arrived here about 4 days ago and since you are American, you will translate for me,” Dao said to Ronnie.

“What if I don’t want to?” Ronnie retorted.

Dao pulled out a knife from his belt and set it on the table. “Would you like to see what happens if you don’t comply ?”

Ronnie recoiled back and looked at the blond man. He looked like he was in his mid-30s, so Ronnie assumed he was probably an officer.

Ask him his name, ranking, and why he is here,” Dao commanded.

Ronnie looked at the man again. “The lieutenant colonel here wants to know who you are, what your ranking is, and why you’re here.”

The man straightened his posture. “My name is Captain Evan Polanski and I’m an officer of the United States Marine Corps. My squadron was ambushed, and that is why I’m here.”

Ronnie didn’t bother to translate back, Dao could speak near-perfect English. He glanced at Dao when Polanski finished answering. 

Why are the marines here? I thought the army was in charge near the border and the marines was further south.

“He wants to know why the army's here, considering that you guys are mostly stationed south near Saigon.”

“Back up,” Polanksi responded. “We were sent to help after an army camp got raided.”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “Wait, is there a Lieutenant Pope and a Lieutenant Hammond at said camp?”

Polanski nodded. “Are you Ronald McKittrick? I heard about you.”

Ronnie nodded in shock. He was about to open his mouth again but Dao cut him off.

Ask if he has been made aware of the army’s classified projects.

Ronnie glared at Dao. “You speak English, why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Dao stood up and picked up the knife. He marched up to Ronnie and held the knife at his throat. Ronnie stared at the blade and stopped breathing. Ronnie looked up at Dao. He was scared, but he wouldn’t dare show Dao that he was. That would mean Dao would win, and no fucking way was Ronnie going to let that happen.

“You can’t kill me, who’s gonna be your translator?” Ronnie asked, making eye contact with Dao.

Dao glowered at Ronnie.

“Hey man, please stop. Let’s just answer the questions and get over with it,” Polanksi said to Ronnie. 

Ronnie glanced at Polanski and back at Dao. “You heard him. I’ll do what you say,” Ronnie grumbled.

Dao recoiled the knife from his throat. Ronnie thought he would put down the knife, but suddenly out of nowhere, Dao slashed the knife at Ronnie’s stomach. 

Ronnie was so surprised by the suddenness, he couldn’t feel the pain. He looked down at his stomach and saw a thin red line soaking through his tank top. It didn’t hurt, it just stung. Ronnie knew from the stinging that the cut was shallow. 

Dao acted as if nothing happened and sat back down in his chair. Both Ronnie and Polanski were looking at Dao as if he was a maniac. Dao paid no attention to this and asked Polanski two more questions himself. Polanski stammered out the answers since he was still recovering from the scene he had just witnessed.

Dao then sent Polanski away, but not the local man, who had not uttered one word, stayed. Dao folded his hands on the table and looked at Ronnie.

“I told you that we’d have another conversation together.”

“You mean you’re interrogating me again?”

Dao seemed to ignore Ronnie’s comment and immediately started asking questions. “Were you aware of the content in the messages you transmitted and received?”

Ronnie swallowed. “For the most part,” Ronnie answered truthfully.

“And for the most part, what do you mean by that?”

Ronnie decided to ignore that question and didn’t reply. He just stared at Dao. 

Dao continued to ask Ronnie questions, though Ronnie answered the unimportant ones. He liked watching Dao grow angry. Ronnie may be his prisoner, but he still had some power over him. Eventually, Dao grew angry enough and grabbed the knife.

Ronnie flinched and prepared for Dao to slash at him again, but when Dao stood up, he didn’t go toward Ronnie. He went over to the guards with the local man. Dao held the knife to the local man’s throat, who started to thrash in the guards’ arms. Ronnie’s eyes widened.

“What the fucking hell are you doing?!” Ronnie cried.

Dao gave him an evil smirk. “I must get your smart ass to shut up one way or another,” He replied in Vietnamese before slitting the local man’s throat with the knife.

The guards let go of the man and let him fall to his knees. He grabbed his throat as he choked on his own blood. Dao dropped the knife on the table and went over to Ronnie, who watched the man slowly choke to death in pure horror. Dao grabbed Ronnie’s face and forced him to look at the local man.

“You did that,” Dao whispered. “You could have answered my questions, but I guess we had to take the difficult path.”

Ronnie stared at the man, who was now not moving, his blood spilling on the floor and pooling up. 

Get rid of this,” Dao commanded the guards. “Then come back, I will need you for something.

The guards nodded and dragged the body away, leaving a path of blood. As they left the room, Ronnie could see that the man was dead. 

Dao calmly sat back down in his chair. “So, have you heard of code Ensigma, Ronnie? That’s the name you prefer, no?”

Ronnie swallowed and took a shaky breath. “Yes, I have heard of code Ensigma.”

Dao smiled. “Look at you! Answering my questions. I think someone's at a breaking point.”

Ronnie didn’t say anything.

“Do you know what code Esigma is?”

Ronnie looked at his feet. “Yes,” he mumbled quietly.

“And what is code Ensigma?”

“It’s a plan hatched by the marines, army, and South Vietnam army to disable North Vietnam communications to the Soviet Union and bomb the capital city.”

Dao leaned back into his chair. “That’s all?”

Ronnie nodded. That wasn’t necessarily true. There were other parts and smaller functions of the plan, but Ronnie could barely remember them. He was also leaving out the fact they were also gonna bomb Cambodian Khmer Rouges and attempt to kill a high-ranking general. 

“Do you know when they plan to put this plan in effect?”

Ronnie shook his head. That was also a lie. Ronnie knew that they were planning on starting phase 1 of the plan in early June.

Ronnie heard the door open again and saw the guards had come back. Dao looked at them and pointed at Ronnie.

Unchain him from the chair.

Ronnie sighed in relief. Dao was letting him go, the interrogation was over. The guards uncuffed his handcuffs and hauled him to his feet. 

Tie him to that chair,” Dao said, pointing at the black leather dental chair on the left side of the room. 

Ronnie’s eyes widened. “What? I thought we were done!” Ronnie said desperately as they dragged him over to the leather chair. 

The two guards strapped his wrists, ankles, and lower chest, so he couldn’t move. 

Dao walked up and loomed over Ronnie. “The thing is, I don’t believe you, you white lying rat.” He shrugged. “We’ll just have to drown the real information out of you.”

“Drown?” Ronnie whispered.

Dao nodded. “Yes, do you know what waterboarding is?"

Ronnie remained silent, his eyes wide. 

Dao turned to one of the guards. “Slap him,” he instructed.

The guard slapped Ronnie hard across the face. Ronnie groaned in pain.

“Do you know what waterboarding is?” Dao asked again.

“No,” Ronnie whispered.

“Water is poured over a cloth covering one's face and breathing passages while restrained, causing the person to feel as if they are drowning. It's quite effective.”

Ronnie tensed in fear as he heard the water begin to run. Dao just laughed.

 

***

 

“Ronnie, god, are you okay?” Bobby asked when they brought him back to their cell.

Ronnie, who had curled up in a ball and started shaking, just laid there, his eyes wide open, his wet hair sticking to his forehead.

“Jesus, fuck man, what did they do?”

Notes:

CW: Torture (Waterboarding was a common use for North Vietnam during the war. Same as the routine interrogation with fists and irons), death

For Context

Yippie: The Youth International Party, whose members were commonly called Yippies, was an American youth-oriented radical and countercultural revolutionary offshoot of the free speech and anti-war movements of the late 1960s. It was founded on December 31, 1967. They employed theatrical gestures to mock the social status quo, such as advancing a pig as a candidate for president of the United States in 1968. (Wiki)

Khmer Rouges: the name that was popularly given to members of the Communist Party of Kampuchea and by extension to the regime through which the CPK ruled Cambodia between 1975 and 1979. (Wiki) At this point, they were fighting to take over.

Chapter 33: Mr. Hotshot, Fame Is on the Reach (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Scott gets signed to a label.

 

I apologize for the distressingness of the last chapter. Yes, it is historically accurate but that being said, most members of the PAVN (North Vietnamese army) were not aware of what happened in the POW camps. And yes, the uniforms were really red and purple.

also... HOLY FUCK the hits count like 77 more than what it was before i posted on Sunday, i wanna thank all y'all. love you :)

Notes:

CW: Sexual references

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 33: Mr. Hotshot, Fame Is on the Reach

 

Wednesday, May 12th, 1971, Dallas, Texas

 

 

Beth only worked a half-day that Wednesday. She left right after lunch and took a taxi over to the Capitol Records office in Dallas. Today Scott had a meeting that would decide his fate and career as a musician. 

When Beth got out of the taxi, she saw Scott standing outside the building, smoking a cigarette. Seeing this, Beth frowned and walked over to Scott.

Scott smiled when he saw her. “Hey, Elizabeth,” he said, taking out his cigarette.

Beth wrinkled her nose. “I can’t stand the smell of cigarettes. Well, I can’t stand cigarettes in general. They’re so bad for you.”

Scott frowned. “Oh, I didn’t know you didn’t like them. I won’t smoke around you,” he said, throwing the cigarette in the trash can next to him. 

Beth sighed. She knew she had come off a little harsh. “Hey, I’m sorry, that was a bit harsh.”

Scott shrugged and kissed her cheek. “Nah, it’s fine. Besides, we got a meeting to attend.”

Beth nodded. “I think I’m more nervous than you are,” she said as they entered the building.

Scott smirked. “Considering I don’t have any butterflies in my stomach, I think you are.”

“How are you not nervous?”

“Well, if we’re being honest, I had a couple of beers this morning so I’m not completely sober,” Scott admitted.

Beth looked at Scott. “Are you insane?”

Scott laughed. “Yes.”

They were escorted by a secretary to a waiting room on the fourth floor. The woman told them to sit and wait until someone else came to fetch them. The room was completely white. The walls, the floor, even the furniture. White. Scott sat on a couch that was shaped like an “S”. 

“You know, I love this couch, might take it home with me,” Scott said, sprawling across it. 

Beth sat on the couch next to him. “I think these couches are ugly,” Beth replied.

Scott looked at her. “You just aren’t into the monochromatic style of the late 60s and now.”

“I think it looks like a headache.”

“I think it looks groovy.”

Beth rolled her eyes. 

“What do you think will happen if they decide to sign you?” Beth after being silent for a few minutes.

Scott shrugged. “I don’t know, I'll become famous.”

“That’s only if you get lucky.”

“Well, they are interested in me, so they must think I'm something then.”

“I hope they’re right,” Beth muttered.

"Me too. Don't get so worked up about it, it's my potential career on the line, not yours."

Beth nodded. "I know, I know, I'm just worried."

"Don't be. I'm glad you're here with me. If my brother was here instead of you, I think I'd put my head through the wall."

Beth laughed, making her feel a bit better. "Why?"

"Charlie... I love him but he's a fucking dick."

"Why?" Beth asked again, this time a bit more flabbergasted.

Scott shrugged. "I mean he's married now so I can't say that. Lenora, his wife, is really sweet and also... kinda mean. To me at least. They got a baby on the way."

"Aww, you're gonna be an uncle."

Scott smiled. “Yeah, I just hope the kid doesn’t turn out like his father. Honestly, I have no idea how they managed to get pregnant considering Lenora used to be an acid-tripping hippie and Charlie’s ranch brat who also used to do acid and LSD. They’re both sober now drug-wise, you should have seen them at Woodstock. High as kites. Plus they sold some there too and made like 400 bucks.”

Beth stared at Scott somewhat disturbed. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to meet them now.

Scott noticed her face and chuckled. “No, it’s fine, they're both fine now. You’d never know unless you knew them back then.“

Beth nodded, relieved. "So, you were at Woodstock?”

Scott nodded.

"My brother went there with his ex-girlfriend. He got the draft call while he was there."

"That's horrible."

"Yeah, he had a panic attack and threw up when my mom told him. I felt so bad for him. Later, he came home drunk and yelled at Shannon. Mom fired back, and then he broke down crying in Mom's arms. I was on the stairs so he couldn't see me, but I was shocked. I'd never seen him cry like that before. I still think about it," Beth said quietly.

Scott didn't reply at first. He looked at the floor and then back at Beth. "I don't know what to say."

Beth stood up and sat next to him. "Just being able to have someone talk about it is enough." She smiled.

Scott smiled back. “You know, I think I-”

The door opened and a different woman walked in. “They’re ready to see you, Mr. Stern,” she said formally.

Beth and Scott stood up.

The woman looked at Beth. “I’m sorry, but only Mr. Stern.”

“Oh,” Beth said. 

Scott turned to Beth. “You’ll be fine here?” He asked.

Beth nodded and sat back down. “Yeah, go get them, tiger."

Scott smirked. "Yes ma'am." He left the white room with the woman.

Beth kept herself busy for the first two hours by counting all the coins in her purse and then reading the book she had in her purse she kept in case she was bored. This week it was On The Road by Jack Kerouac. She liked the book, even though it had plenty of controversial moments. It was a shame that he was only 47 when he passed away. 

Beth had gotten into a third of the book when the door opened. She set the book and looked up to see Scott. "Scott, what is it?" She asked, standing up.

Scott went up to her and took her by the hands. "They wanna sign me."

Beth hugged Scott. "That's amazing!"

Scott let go of Beth and sat down. "There are some requirements though."

Beth nodded and sat next to him. "Tell me."

"Well, it's a 10 year contract and to get it renewed, I have to release at least five albums and go on tour at least four times by 1981. I also can't sign to another record label until my contract is released. They also highly recommend that I move to Los Angeles."

Beth frowned. "That's strict."

Scott shook his head. "It's not that bad. I mostly get recording freedom and choice of management if I want to have a manager. They also pay 40% for recording time."

"That does sound a lot better."

Scott nodded. "I want your dish on it."

"If you're going to Los Angeles, I'm coming with you."

"Oh, definitely."

"So, you're gonna sign?"

Scott smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

Beth laughed giddily and flung herself onto him. "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

Scott chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm happy for me too."

Beth let him go and he left to finish and sign the contract. She was happy that she couldn't stop smiling. How lucky was she? Beth had a good-looking and talented boyfriend who was about to become famous. 

Scott came back after another 40 minutes. He opened the doors, grabbed Beth, and swung her in the air. "I'm gonna be a rockstar!" He cheered, kissing her lips. 

Beth wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. "Look at you, Mr. Hotshot."

They went to Scott's immediately afterward. Sex was on both their minds, but as they tried to keep their hands off each other in the taxi, Beth wondered who wanted it more: Her or Scott? Luckily, she didn't have too long to find out. 

They started kissing as soon as Scott opened his apartment door. His hands were around her waist and her arms were around his neck. Scott moved his lips from her lips to her neck and started to bite and kiss it. Beth ran her hand through Scott's hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

"Can I fuck you, Elizabeth?" Scott asked, detaching himself from Beth's neck.

Beth nodded, out of breath. "Please."

Scott nodded and carried Beth to his room. 

 

***

 

"Having sex with you never gets old," Beth said, staring at Scott's ceiling.

Scott chuckled. "I'm glad you think so. You know, for a religious girl, you sure know how to give a good blowjob."

Beth blushed and smacked Scott's shoulder. "Shut up."

"Sorry," Scott said, kissing her cheek. 

"You make up for your rude comments for your bed skills."

"I'm honored you think I'm only good at making love."

"You're welcome," Beth said, giggling.

Scott smirked and pulled Beth closer to his body. She lay on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat. She liked listening to it, it made her feel closer to him, more intimate. 

"Tell me something about yourself," Beth whispered.

Scott looked down at his chest with a perplexed look. "Like something totally random?"

Beth nodded.

"Uh okay, My last name is actually not Stern." 

"Really?" Beth asked, sitting up.

Scott nodded. "Yeah, it used to be von Schwarzenberg."

"That’s a mouthful." 

"Agreed. Anyway, my dad’s side’s German, and my great-grandpa and family came here in the 1890s. When WWI broke out, my grandpa changed his name so he wouldn’t be associated with the other side. It's still a German name, but not as German-sounding as von Schwarzenberg."

 Beth raised her brows. "Where does Stern come from von Schwarzenberg?"

"It was my great-grandpa's mom's maiden name."

Beth laid back on his chest. "Interesting story."

"You asked for something random."

"True."

Scott stretched his arms and sat up. Beth moved away from him and gave him a concerned look. 

"What is it?"

Scott looked down and looked back up like he did earlier. "Elizabeth, I love you."

Beth gasped. "Really?"

Scott nodded.

Beth kissed his lips gently. "I love you too," she said when she broke the kiss. 

Notes:

I'm 97% percent sure there never was a C.R office in Dallas, but humor me. Real music contracts from that time period were a lot worse, but oh well. But like these two idiots have been dating since March, and they're already saying I love you? This sounds like a middle school relationship.

For Context:

On The Road: 1957 novel by American writer Jack Kerouac, based on the travels of Kerouac and his friends across the United States. It is considered a defining work of the postwar Beat and Counterculture generations, with its protagonists living life against a backdrop of jazz, poetry, and drug use. The novel is a roman à clef, with many key figures of the Beat movement, such as William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, and Neal Cassady represented by characters in the book, including Kerouac himself as the narrator Sal Paradise. (Wiki)

Chapter 34: Rock Star (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Scott starts riding the waves of fame and success. Beth meets his parents.

 

happy sunday!

THANKS FOR ALL THE HITS AND SHIT!!!!!

Notes:

CW: Minor sexual references

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 34: Rock Star

 

Friday, June 18th, 1971

 

 

“You really don’t have a lot of stuff,” Scott said, carrying Beth’s toaster, the only piece of furniture she owned in her old apartment. 

“Yeah, everything else was rented,” Beth replied, dropping her two large suitcases on Scott's living room floor.

Although they had only been dating 3 months, Scott asked Beth to move in with him. Beth told him she'd think about it, which just meant that she'd have to tell the landlord she was moving and had to return the rented furniture. Her mother would kill her if she found and the religious part of Beth was hesitant about it, but Beth was in love with a guy who loved her back. That had never happened before. 

Last week, Scott released his first single with Capitol Records. The song was called Wandering Eyes, and it had a heavy bass and guitar combined with piano. Beth wasn't a huge rock and roll fan, but she loved the song. Maybe she only liked it because Scott sang it. What could she say, he was talented. He could play guitar, bass guitar, piano, and sing. Both of them hoped the radio would pay attention to the song. 

As Beth was unpacking her clothes, the phone rang.

"Wonder who that is," Scott muttered as he picked up the phone. "Hello?"

Scott recognized the voice and turned on his speakerphone. "It's my brother Charlie."

Beth went over to the phone. "Hello."

"Scott, did you make a deal with the devil?" Charlie asked.

Beth gasped.

Scott laughed. "Why do you ask?"

"You're on the radio."

Scott's eyes widened. "What?"

Beth ran over to the radio and turned it on. She turned up the volume, and sure enough, Scott's song was playing. 

"Holy shit," Scott said, rushing over to Beth and the radio. He started to kiss Beth, but she pushed him away. 

"Your brother's on the phone."

"Oh yeah," Scott said, turning slightly red. He went back over to the speakerphone. "Look at me, I'm more successful than you'll ever be."

Charlie scoffed. "Yeah, sure." He paused and then started speaking again. "Mom and Dad want to have you and your girlfriend over for dinner."

Scott groaned. 

Beth rushed over to the speakerphone. "Oh, I'd love to have dinner with your parents. When exactly?"

Charlie laughed. "You're a ray of sunshine compared to my brother. Next Friday night I believe."

Beth nodded. "Will you be there too?"

"Yep."

Beth smiled. "Well, I'll see you then. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Charlie said before hanging up.

Beth turned to Scott. "He sounds nothing like you described him."

"That's because you don't know him as well as I do."

Beth rolled her eyes.

The next day, Scott went to the Capitol Records building for a meeting. It was a Saturday, but Beth guessed it was about radio play. When he came back, he confirmed that the song was getting radio play.

"It's not just here, but in Houston, Austin, Fort Worth, and a couple of other cities out of state. They seem to really like my music and they want more," Scott said with a proud expression on his face. 

"That's crazy Scott," Beth told him.

Scott nodded. "They want me to play a small show on Wednesday."

"When? I want to see you."

Scott frowned. "It's during the day, you'll miss it."

Beth frowned. "Well, I'll just have to imagine that I'm there."

Scott smiled. "Don't worry, I'll have a cardboard cutout of you."

Beth laughed. 

At work, she bragged to Lizzie about Scott.

"I can't believe your hot boyfriend's on the radio," Lizzie said during lunch break that Wednesday.

Beth nodded and took a sip of her water. "He's playing a small show today and it's sold out."

Lizzie shook her head, impressed. "Girl, I think you're witnessing the rise of a new star."

"I think I am too, Lizzie."

After work, Beth called Mary. She told her all about her recent ventures with Scott. 

"I can't believe that," Mary said after Beth told her everything.

"Me neither, and I'm witnessing all of it firsthand."

Mary laughed.

Beth smiled. She was glad to hear her mother sound so happy. Most of her phone calls with her mother ended with crying. 

"So, I have news."

"What, Mom?

Mary took a deep breath and sighed. "Ronnie's alive. His name was on a list of prisoners of war released by North Vietnam about two weeks ago."

Beth sighed in relief. "Oh my, that's great Mom."

"I'm very happy right now. Now I just need them to let him come home."

Beth nodded. "That would make everything perfect."

"Yes, it would. In other things, Laurie was supposed to come home about three weeks ago, but he refuses to leave Ronnie or any of his platoon that was captured behind. I think he's staying until the end of the year."

"I find that sad, heroic, and sweet," Beth admitted.

"I agree, I feel bad for Barbara. Now there's two of us who don't know when our sons are coming home." 

Scott came home late that night. Beth sat in the living room waiting for him. 

"Hey, sweetheart," Scott said, kissing Beth on the cheek. "Guess what? They want an album and a tour," Scott said excitedly, but then he noticed Beth's sad face. He sat next to her. "Are you okay?"

Beth shrugged. "I'm just thinking about my brother. I called Mom today. My brother's alive, he's a prisoner of war."

Scott nodded and hugged her. "Do you wanna talk about him?"

"Actually, yeah I do," Beth said, letting go of him. 

"What's he like?"

"Ronnie, he's a smart ass and has a mouth."

Scott laughed. "Really?"

Beth smiled. "Yeah, he is also stubborn, so you can see how that clashes together. He also was kind of a troublemaker, I still have no idea how he was captain of the football team and co-captain of the basketball team. Then again, he always managed to do the dumb stuff during the latter part of the second semester so his football and basketball careers weren't on the line. He almost got expelled his senior year."

"What'd he do?" Scott asked, clearly intrigued.

"He got arrested for a DUI while skipping school. This was a major deal since he was the captain of the football team and co-captain of the basketball team, and he had multiple scholarships interested in him. I thought Mom was gonna kill him. By some miracle, he wasn't charged, but any prospects of a scholarship went away since he was still arrested. The only reason why he didn't get expelled was that he had decent grades, and he immediately confessed when he got caught. He was suspended for a week and got Saturday detention for six weeks, along with 30 hours of community service."

"Damn."

"I'm surprised they didn't expel him considering he had gotten in trouble with the school before."

"What did he do previously?"

"He got in fights freshman year, sophomore year, and his junior year."

Scott snorted. "I respect your brother."

Beth smiled. "He loves music, went to concerts all the time after he got his driver's license. I think between the summer of '66 to summer of '69, he went to over 20 shows, and that's not including Woodstock."

Scott whistled appreciatively. "What bands?"

"Uh he saw The Rolling Stones twice, Led Zeppelin once, The Who twice, Jefferson Airplane once, Pink Floyd once or twice, The Velvet Underground once, Jimi Hendrix twice, and He saw The Doors twice. There's more, but I don't know or remember. He met Jimi Hendrix, he has a guitar pick and a napkin signed by him. I'm still jealous of him, I mean he met Jimi Hendrix. Before he died obviously."

Scott nodded. "I think I wanna be friends with your brother."

Beth smiled. "I think you two would be great friends."

That Friday evening, Scott and Beth drove to his family’s ranch. It was an hour away from Scott's apartment, so Beth had plenty of time to prepare herself. She wore a green short-sleeved turtleneck mini dress that went to her lower thighs and black heeled Mary Jane shoes. She knew Scott liked the outfit because occasionally he'd look over from the driver's seat and smile. 

"So your parents' names are William and Claire, your brother's name is Charlie, his wife's name is Lenora, and the ranch’s name is called Celestion?"

Scott nodded. "You got it."

"Do you think they will like me?"

"Of course, as long as my girlfriend is not a whore or convict, they don't care who I date."

Beth laughed. "They seem pretty relaxed."

Scott shrugged. "I wouldn't say that. I guess they've relaxed since my brother and I are adults now."

"I can't wait to see all the horses," Beth said smiling. She loved horses and would always turn green with envy when Ronnie talked about his job at the horse ranch.

"You like horses?"

Beth nodded.

"Can you ride one?"

Beth shook her head. "My brother can ride horses, but that's because he learned it when he worked at a horse ranch before he was drafted."

Scott nodded. "I see." He then glanced at her. "Do you want me to teach you?"

Beth looked at Scott. "Really?"

"I mean Charlie's a better rider than me, but yeah sure, next time we come up here, I can show you the basics. It's not that hard once you get used to it."

"You're too sweet," Beth informed him. 

Celestion was huge. Beth felt small when Scott entered the main gates and narrow path to a white large house farther up. He parked the car near the garage next to the house. He stopped the car and took the keys out of the ignition.

"We're here," Scott said, turning towards Beth.

Beth nodded and unbuckled her seatbelt. "Your house is ginormous."

Scott chuckled. "C'mon, let's go meet my parents."

Scott led Beth to the entrance of the house. It was even bigger closer up. Scott rang the doorbell and stepped back.

"How big is this house?" Beth whispered.

"It's four floors excluding the attic and basement, eleven bedrooms, and thirteen bathrooms."

"You didn't tell me that you were that rich, Scott," Beth muttered.

"I said my family owned a ranch."

"I didn't think it was this big."

The door opened and the two of them stopped talking. A Latina woman about Beth's height in her 50s appeared in the doorway. She recognized Scott and rushed to hug him. 

"¡Ay, Dios mío !" She cried out. 

Beth recognized the language as Spanish.

Scott laughed and hugged her back. "Hola," he replied.

The woman let go of him and stepped back. "¿Qué tal? "

Scott shrugged and smiled. "Estoy genial, estoy en la radio."

"Lo sé, estoy muy orgulloso de ti."

"Gracias," Scott said. He then pointed at Beth. " Maria, esta es mi novia, Elizabeth. "

Maria turned to Beth and smiled. "Hello, I'm Maria, I’m the housekeeper and Scott and Charlie’s former nanny. Nice to meet you, Elizabeth," she said, now speaking English.

"Nice to meet you, I go by Beth actually, Scott just refuses to call me by my nickname."

Maria nodded and laughed. "Don't worry, he's always been this stubborn. Please, come inside," she said, ushering them in. 

The house was gorgeous inside. There were paintings and pictures along the walls and wooden furniture that looked antique. Beth admired them before Maria tapped her shoulder. She looked over and saw Scott was gone.

"They're in the living room. Come, I'll take you there," Maria said kindly.

Beth nodded. "Thanks."

The living room was probably the largest in the house. Rugs, sofas, chairs, and tables decorated the floor. There was a hearth with a fireplace that had animal heads hanging above it. Beth always found stuffed heads disturbing, but she didn't say anything. In the room itself, there were four other people other than Scott, who was talking to an older man with balding gray hair and a woman around the same age with short light brown hair and glasses. 

Scott saw her and beckoned her over. "Sorry I left you," he said when she got closer.

Beth shook her head. "It's fine."

Scott turned to the older man and woman. "Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend."

Beth smiled and held her hand out. "Hi, I'm Beth."

The man shook her hand and smiled. Beth saw that he had big light blue eyes and Scott's nose. "I'm William Stern, I'm Scott's father," he said in a thick Texan drawl, much thicker than Scott’s.

Beth nodded. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Stern."

"Oh please, call me William."

Beth turned to the woman who smiled.

"I'm Claire," she said as she hugged Beth. "Nice to meet you, honey."

Beth smiled and hugged her back. 

Claire let go of her and adjusted her glasses. Beth saw that she had dark brown eyes, which confused her since Scott has gray eyes.

"Wait, if you have blue eyes and you have brown eyes, how did Scott get gray eyes?"

"Oh, my mother and her sister had gray eyes," Claire explained. "It's a recessive thing."

"Ah, makes sense." Beth turned to the younger man and woman, who was pregnant. "You must be Charlie and Lenora."

Lenora, a woman with wide icy blue eyes and long yellowish-blonde hair, stood up from the couch and walked over. "I'm sorry, just walking around makes me tired. I'm Lenora, nice to meet you."

Beth grinned. "You're fine." Beth looked at her swollen belly. "How many months are you?"

Lenora looked down and back up. "I'll be 6 months along tomorrow."

"That must be exciting."

Lenora nodded. "It is." She then turned to Charlie. "Charlie, get over here and be polite. And can you grab my glasses too?"

Charlie scoffed and picked up a pair of circle-shaped glasses. "Here," he said, handing them to her.

"Thanks," Lenora muttered as she put them on. 

"So we finally meet in person," Charlie said to Beth.

Beth nodded. "So we do."

Charlie had the same brown eyes and hair color as his mother, but other than that, he and Scott looked the same, minus the fact Charlie had a stubble on his face and was a bit tanner. Charlie had a wild look in his eyes though, while Scott had more of a mischievous glint. Beth could see that good looks run in the family. William was older now, but Beth could tell he was once very handsome. Maybe even as handsome as his sons. 

"So Beth, tell us about yourself, Scott never talks about you, I wasn't even sure that you spoke English," Claire said, laughing.

Scott smiled as well, but it looked forced. Beth didn’t notice.

Beth smirked. "Well, I'm from Nebraska, and I've lived there all my life until February when I moved to Dallas. I work as a secretary for the editor of the Dallas Times Herald, and I have a younger sister and an older brother."

Everyone looked impressed. 

"Secretary for the editor? Impressive," William said, nodding.

"I like that paper. They're against the war. Dunno if Scott told ya, but I spent a few months in Vietnam back in '65," Charlie said, crossing his arms.

"Yes, he mentioned it once or twice," Beth replied.

Charlie nodded. "Yeah, that was until I got shot in the head and chest."

Beth gasped. "That's awful!"

Charlie shrugged. "It's okay, I'm fine now. Mostly."

Scott frowned. "You probably shouldn't bring that up, her brother's a prisoner of war in Vietnam right now."

Everyone gasped at that.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear that, honey," Claire said gently.

"It's okay, you guys didn't know," Beth said calmly, but deep down she was glad that Scott had said something. She didn't want to talk about the war right now. 

The room was silent until Claire piped up again. "Dinner's ready, let's go ahead and eat," she said, clapping her hands together.

William and Claire left the room, leaving Beth, Scott, Charlie, and Lenora alone.

"She's very optimistic," Beth said as soon as Claire was out of the room. 

Both Scott and Charlie sniggered. 

"Neither of her sons inherited that though," Lenora mumbled under her breath.

Beth laughed and followed William and Claire to the dining room. 

The dinner itself was loud and enjoyable. Scott and Charlie would tease each other while William talked about his adventures when he was an army officer. Beth was sad since it was too late to take a tour of the ranch, but Claire promised that she'd take Beth out to the horses some other weekend. 

The food was amazing. Roasted Rosemary Chicken with french fries and buttered green beans. Beth felt like she was eating at some fancy restaurant, minus the fancy since everyone was loud except Lenora who would occasionally mutter things in Beth's ear. She liked Lenora. She was sarcastic and quiet. Plus she used the occasional hippie word, which reminded Beth that Lenora used to be one. 

After the plates were cleared away and while they were waiting for dessert, Beth stood up.

"Excuse me, where is the bathroom?"

Claire pointed down the hall. "Go that way, it’s the first door on your right."

Beth nodded. "Thank you, Claire." She pushed in her chair and left the room.

As she left, Beth could hear William say, "I like her," causing Beth to smile.

 

Early August 1971

 

Scott spent the summer working on his debut album, which was to be released the next week. It seemed like a limited amount of time, but it was only 10 songs, and Scott had already recorded most of them before as demos, so all he had to do was rerecord it with more expensive instruments and tools. 

Beth had heard most of the songs already, the perks of being a musician's girlfriend. She liked the album enough, though Beth wasn't a huge fan of psychedelic and garage rock, which was Scott's main focus on his music. She still wanted to support him, so she didn't say anything. 

While Scott was recording, his record label planned a national tour. Both Beth and Scott thought that the tour wouldn't happen until the next year, but Scott was informed that it started in October, and tickets would go on sale a week before the album was dropped. To promote both the album and tour, Scott did a radio interview with the largest radio station in Dallas. It was on a Saturday, so Beth was able to tune in and listen to all of it. 

"Hello, ladies and dudes, this is your host Jim Sparks, and today I'm here with Dallas's new rising star, Scott Stern," Jim said from the radio.

"How are you, Sparky?" 

Jim laughed. 

"I'm okay, I could be better considering I've only had coffee today."

"Well, we've had those days."

"You can say that again. So, in June, you released your debut single which not only gained radio play here but also in Britain and Canada."

Scott scoffed. "I still can't believe it myself."

"And your debut album, A Greeting Call That Beckons to All, comes out next week?"

"Yep."

"And you're going on tour right?"

"Yes, tickets go on sale tomorrow actually."

"Good to know." 

They continued to discuss music and Scott's album. The interview was just a promo, but it also showed Scott to the public for the first time and gave them a taste of what he was like. Beth could tell he was enjoying himself just by the tone of his voice. To him, it didn't matter if a million or thousand people bought his album, he was just happy that he was doing something he loved. 

More people listened to the interview than both Beth and Scott expected. Two days after the tour was announced, the dates for Dallas and Houston were sold out, and there was at least a ticket sold in every city the tour was going to. The record label explained the radio interview was also broadcasted in other cities, drawing even more attention. 

With tickets being sold, Scott started to earn money. He had already earned some from Wandering Eyes, but since it was his first single with Capitol Records, according to his contract, 70% of the royalties went to the company, not Scott.

Beth thought it wasn't fair, but Scott didn't seem to care. 

"At the end of the day, the fact that people are now hearing my music makes me happy. I don't mind money, it's not a life necessity," Scott said when she asked him how he felt.

Beth scoffed. "That's because you grew up well off."

Scott smiled. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Probably? I am right."

Scott shrugged. "Like I just said, I'm just happy that people are listening to me." 

Beth began to feel small as Scott eagerly told her all about his upcoming tour and how excited he was for the album to come out. She was happy for him, but as his popularity and rising career grew, she began to grow nervous that he might leave her behind. 

When A Greeting Call That Beckons to All was finally released, it only made her grow even more nervous. It debuted at 55 on the Billboard 100, impressive for a debut album. Scott was always going to album promos or parties. He flew to LA twice in one week, starting to plan out when he would move there. 

The final breaking point was when Scott took Beth out to celebrate, and they encountered the paparazzi. It wasn't a large group of photographers, but Beth was still shocked. Maybe deep down she knew it would happen eventually as Scott's fame grew, but she couldn't accept it. It wasn't too bad in all honesty, They just took pictures and talked to Scott, who talked to them back. He didn't seem angry, he was more amused and surprised. 

The album only boosted tour sales, and by the end of the week, it had jumped up to the top 40 on Billboard 100, and over half of the tour was sold out. Beth should have been happy for him, but she was too worried about his fame increasing and that he'd leave her for some model.

It was a stupid thought, but Scott was Beth's first healthy relationship. She hadn't even held hands with another man after Daniel, much less kissed. She loved the way he made her feel and his carefree yet caring attitude. She loved his blond hair after he showered and it was wet, and she loved the way he'd look at her with his gray eyes after they made love. She was so helplessly in love with him, that she couldn't imagine what her life would be like if he broke up with her. 

The constant thoughts never left her head, even when she was working. She told Lizzie how she felt on Friday, but Lizzie thought she was just overreacting. 

"Beth, he loves you right?"

Beth nodded. 

"Then why would he leave you?"

Beth's face turned pink. "I don't know, I know I'm being silly, but I can't help but think about it."

Lizzie sighed. "Scott seems like a nice guy, I don't think he'll do that. Besides, you met his parents, and to dudes, that's a big deal."

"Really?"

Lizzie nodded. "Oh hell yeah, when I was dating my ex-boyfriend, it took him a year for him to finally introduce me to his parents. I don't know why they're so hesitant about it."

Beth pondered this. She remembered Scott had groaned when Charlie told him about the dinner. "You're probably right, I'm just overreacting," Beth said, though she still felt the same as she did earlier. 

After work, Beth found herself at the bar where she first met Scott. It was only 6 months ago, but it felt so much longer. She had a beer, which she didn't like but tonight, she felt like it. She was always so uptight and a good girl that sometimes she felt that's all ever people thought of her. Including Scott. 

There was live music that night too, but the guy singing wasn't as good or nearly as attractive as Scott. The music just reminded Beth of Scott, so she left after finishing her drink. She asked the taxi driver to not play music because then she'd feel bad if Wandering Eyes came on. When she got to the apartment, Scott wasn't home, so she crashed into the bed, still in her work clothes, and passed out. 

The smell of buttered toast and eggs woke Beth up. She opened one of her eyes and sniffed the air to see if it was real or not. The smell just grew stronger. Beth sat up and stretched. She looked down and noticed that she wasn't wearing her work clothes anymore, it was one of Scott's t-shirts. 

Getting out of bed, Beth left the room and followed the delicious smell. To her surprise, in the kitchen was Scott, who was cooking.

"Scott?" Beth exclaimed happily.

He turned around and smiled. "Hey Sunshine, want some breakfast?"

Beth blushed and nodded.

Scott pointed to the table where there was a plate with eggs and two slices of buttered toast.

Beth was in awe. "Did you make this for me?"

Scott nodded and set his own plate next to hers. "Of course, who else would it be for, Casper?"

Beth laughed and sat down. "Thank you."

Scott shrugged and sat down as well. "You deserve it, I've been gone these past two weeks and I've ignored you. So to make it up, I made you breakfast."

Beth raised her eyebrows. "That's it?" 

"No, no, of course not, the rest is a surprise."

"I love surprises."

Scott smiled. "I know you do."

They ate together silently, just gazing into each other's eyes. Beth decided all the silly stuff she had been thinking had been an overreaction after all.

"Scott?" Beth asked after they both finished eating.

He looked up. 

"Is there any room up there on top of the world?"

Scott laughed. "I would hope so, it’d be really lonely to have all this and not share it with anyone."

Beth blushed and smiled. "I love you."

Scott smiled back. "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded. 

"Would you like to go on tour with me?"

Beth stood up and gasped. "OH MY GOSH YES!" She shouted, climbing on top of Scott, who was still seated. 

They both stared at each other before Beth grabbed his face and started to harshly kiss him. Scott wrapped her hair through his hands and kissed her back.

Beth's hands trailed to the hem of his shirt and began to pull it up. They broke the kiss and Scott took off his shirt and flung it somewhere across the room. He grabbed Beth by the ass and picked her up. They continued to kiss each other as Scott headed toward their bedroom. 

"You're gonna be the end of me, Elizabeth," Scott muttered as Beth yanked off the shirt she was wearing. 

Notes:

I had to look up and see if cardboard cutouts of people were already a thing by then. Turns out they've been around since the early 1900s.

Went on my Wattpad account I haven't been on since like 2018 for fun, and I physically and mentally died. I immediatly deleted the account. On a side note, I found Veggie Tales smut on here... I want to pour bleach into my eyes
SPANISH TRANSLATIONS (I speak some Spanish (Half Latina tings💅🏻 ), and I used Spanish Dict so everything should be right.)

Ay, Dios mío: Oh my god

Hola: Hello

Qué tal: How are you?

Estoy genial, estoy en la radio: I'm great, I'm on the radio

Lo sé, estoy muy orgulloso de ti: I know, I'm very proud of you

Gracias: Thanks

Esta es mi novia: This is my girlfriend

 

For Context
Speakerphone: That was a whole other device hooked up the phone. At this time, phones didn't have a speaker button

The Rolling Stones: Britsh band. One of the most famous bands of all time. And yes, the magazine name was a nod to them

Led Zeppelin: English rock band. Considered one the greatest rock bands of all time

Jefferson Airplane: American rock band based in San Francisco, California, that became one of the pioneering bands of psychedelic rock.

Pink Floyd: English rock band formed in London in 1964.

Velvet Underground: American rock band formed in New York City in 1964

Casper the Friendly Ghost: cartoon character

All of these bands have great music, and y'all should check 'em out if you haven't!

Chapter 35: A Game of Cat and Mouse (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Ronnie lands himself in hot water as his mental state declines

 

CW: Extremely distressing content, torture, abuse, suicidal thoughts, SEE ENDNOTES FOR MORE DETAILS

take care of y'all selves

Notes:

Happy Lunar New Year to those who celebrate!

 

One of my sisters gifted me a Ken and Ryan from Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse fanfiction and I don't know how to feel. Y'all read it, her @ is Seraphim_54 The show's actually really funny tho...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 35: A Game of Cat and Mouse

 

October 1971, North Vietnam



Ronnie didn’t know how long he had been at the camp until one of the guards told him the date. He and Bobby had pestered them for weeks about it, but they never answered until a few days ago, when one of them finally got sick of them asking and said it was the middle of October. Ronnie was shocked to learn it was October. Was it really already October? It had felt longer, but Ronnie assumed it was only August or late July, not October. 

After Dao's second interrogation, Bobby and Ronnie found themselves with a new roommate: Polanski. He was nice, but both of them missed the privacy they had together before. Bobby never asked Ronnie what exactly had happened, and even if he had, Ronnie would never tell him. He doubted he'd ever tell anyone. He flinched when water spilled suddenly and now his dreams involved that black chair. He barely slept, finding insomnia better than nightmares. 

Polanski was an interesting character. He was from Nebraska like Ronnie and had a family, a wife, and a kid, but he had never met the baby since his wife was pregnant when he was deployed. He asked Ronnie and Bobby if they had a kid or a niece/nephew. Bobby said he had two nieces from his brother Eddie and a niece and a nephew from his brother John. When he asked Ronnie, Ronnie just sighed.

“I got a kid, his name's Benjamin, but I dunno if he's dead or alive.”

Polanski stopped asking about family after that. He did tell great stories though. Some were about his family, others he made up. Both Ronnie and Bobby thought he should become a writer. Polanski agreed and said he had studied writing in college, but his father forced him to enlist or he wouldn't pay for graduate school. 

When Ronnie was first captured, Bobby kept track of the days. He always knew the date and the day. He kept track until April, shortly after he came out to Ronnie. Ronnie guessed he didn't see the point anymore, considering that both of them thought that they'd be here forever. Fuck, they still thought that. 

Ronnie would be an old withered man by the time he was rescued. Just a bag of skin and bones. He had seen pictures of the Allied soldiers in Japanese war camps and Jews in the concentration camps. He wasn't that skinny or malnourished, but now he could count all his ribs and his pants were too large on him. 

He hadn't seen his face in 8 months, but he imagined he looked awful. Messy overgrown hair, a scraggly beard, a fucked up eye, covered in bruises, and a body well below its normal weight. Polanski was still new and hadn't lost as much weight as Ronnie or Bobby. Ronnie was envious of him. Sure, Polanski had lost weight, but he had way more meat on his bones than Ronnie did. 

After Dao's second interrogation, Ronnie was less of a smart ass. He did what he was told and only complained about things at night with Bobby while Polanski was asleep. The scar on his stomach had healed, but there was a red line right above his belly button. Eventually, it'd turn white, and Ronnie would have the scar forever. 

Dao had seemingly disappeared after the second interrogation. Ronnie hadn't seen him since, which made him glad since now he was afraid and what he could do. He also hadn’t been “interrogated” by anyone else though, so Ronnie wasn’t sure if he should be happy or worried. The guy was some kind of sadist and didn't care what happened to others, as long as he got what he wanted. He kind of reminded Ronnie of his father, though Dao was on the next level, they were similar. They both made Ronnie's skin crawl. 

Out of all the people he thought about the most, his father had become one of them. The only proof that he hadn't disappeared from the planet was the child support checks that came once a month. As soon as Ronnie turned 18, he noticed immediately that the check was now only providing money for Beth and Shannon. Nice to know that his father hadn't forgotten his birthday. He knew he lived in Denver for some time, but one day the checks started coming from Chicago, so Ronnie assumed he had moved there. Did his father even know that he was here? He probably wouldn't care if he did know, considering he despised Ronnie. 

But that wasn't what Ronnie focused on when he thought about him. He thought about when he was small before his father had gotten into the accident. The loving father who had taken Ronnie to the beach when he was 3 and played in the waves with him. The father who made the tire swing in the backyard for Ronnie, and would push him every day after work. He considered those days to be the happiest time in his life, which was mean, considering it was before Beth and Shannon were born. He couldn't help it, and his sisters had nothing to do with it. It was just timing. 

A few days after Ronnie learned it was October, he saw Dao for the first time in who knows how long. It was during the commute hour, when they had some freedom before being put to work. Ronnie didn't see him at first. It wasn't until he turned around and saw Dao standing behind him. 

Dao wasn't a tall man, Ronnie easily towered over him, but he stood in a certain way that radiated power. Ronnie's face turned into a somber one. Here he was, standing next to the man who tortured him.

Dao looked up and down at Ronnie, analyzing him. He licked his lips and then smirked. “How is the scar on your stomach? Has it healed?”

Ronnie stared at Dao before something in him snapped. He was so tired and angry. This man had stripped him raw naked, exposed his fears, killed the woman he loved, killed his spirit, tortured him, and now here he was, mocking him. If a person had someone they were born to hate, it'd be Dao. Like soulmates, only you want to kill them. 

Ronnie tightened his fist and marched up to Dao. He looked down at him before gathering all the strength he had left and punching Dao in the nose.

A loud cracking noise was made when Ronnie's fist made contact with Dao's nose. It was the sound of bones breaking. Dao, who hadn't expected it, fell and grabbed his nose, blood gushing from its nostrils. A sudden painful throb went through Ronnie's body and he knew that his hand was broken. He glanced at Dao who was holding his nose. Ronnie smirked. His hand wasn't the only thing that was broken. 

Dao yelled hoarsely for the guards, but they were already grabbing Ronnie. He tried to fight them off, but his hand hurt too much. He withered in their arms until he felt something hit the back of his head and he blacked out. 

When Ronnie came to, He found himself in a familiar-looking room. His head was pounding and he could feel pain in his hand. He looked around and saw he was in the interrogation room. Realizing he was strapped to the black chair, Ronnie began to panic and try to break the restraints. He heard a cruel chuckle behind him, so he craned his neck and saw Dao. His nose was bandaged and swollen. 

“You managed to break my fucking nose,” He said, his lip curling into a smirk. It looked like it pained him to speak, but he spoke regardless.

“I-I already told you-you everything, I don't have any information.”

Dao shrugged and walked over to Ronnie and leaned into his face. “I know, but I think we need to go over some facts together.” Dao glanced at Ronnie’s right hand, now swollen and red. “That looks broken. Maybe some water will do you some good.”

Dao left him and signaled his guards to go over to Ronnie. Ronnie started struggling more now, though the pain in his hand was starting to shoot up his whole arm. 

“Oh my god, please I don't know anything, fuck, please,” Ronnie pleaded as one of the guards covered his face with a dirty wet towel on the side of his head again. 

“Leave the water longer than usual,” Dao instructed his guards. “I want to hear him struggle for air.”

Ronnie didn’t know how long he was there with Dao. He passed out from the pain of asphyxiation after God knows how long. All he could recall was pain and screaming voices, but whether they were his or Dao’s, he wasn’t sure. 

When he awoke again, he found himself somewhere new, in a dark small cell. There was no light, except for a small opening at the bottom of the door. It felt as if his whole body was in pain. His head and hand hurt the worst, but it felt like everything hurt, including his insides. Ronnie managed to hold his hand with his left arm and succeeded in standing up to go over to the door.

Where am I ?” Ronnie asked hoarsely in Vietnamese, hoping to get a guard's attention. 

Ronnie didn't have to wait long to get a reply. 

You're in solitary confinement, now shut up, white boy,” one of the guards replied harshly.

Ronnie didn't say anything and sat down, his back against the wall. He looked around the room and although he could barely see anything, he did see a metal bucket in the corner like in his cell before, so Ronnie assumed it was used as a toilet as well. Ronnie buried his face into his knee and felt himself shake slightly. 

The back of his head didn't hurt anymore, but his hand and lungs were killing him. His hand had swollen to twice its size, and he could only move his thumb. His left hand was still shaking, but he touched his nose and mouth. It still felt like he was drowning. His hand trailed across his body, feeling the bruises and wincing when he touched a fresh one. There were ones on the back of his legs, and he felt very sore in that area, though he wasn’t sure why or how. He needed medical attention, but he knew he wouldn't get any, considering he punched the most senior officer here in the face and was just waterboarded for it, so he just kept quiet. 

If time was long before, it was even worse now. The minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days. All he could do was sit and lay around in the dark. He started to miss translating documents. It was something to do at least. 

It was Ronnie's own fault that he was in this mess. He shouldn't have punched him, although Dao deserved much more than a broken nose. He missed Bobby and wondered what he was doing. Was he okay? Did he know what happened to him?

Ronnie got used to the silence and darkness. His dreams were blank now, so he got some sleep for once. Maybe his brain realized that he was already in a nightmare. There wasn't much to pass the time, maybe other than counting sheep or sleeping. He got a cup of water and a slice of bread once a day, which was the only way Ronnie knew a day had passed.

The room smelled like urine after a while because where else was Ronnie gonna go? Malnutrition had caused him to go to the other one less, and after he was thrown into solitary confinement, he never defecated. 

His throat started to swell up after a few weeks in the dark. Then it hurt to swallow, and Ronnie knew he was feverish. He slept longer, hoping it would help, but he just got worse. He felt like he was burning up and freezing up at the same time. His body would try to throw up, but it was too weak, and the food was too little. His skin turned flaming hot and turned into rashes. He could barely move now, he was so weak. If malnutrition didn't kill him, the fever would.

Maybe after six weeks of being in the dark hole which meant it was either mid-November or late November, Ronnie noticed there was something else other than food on the food tray. He coughed loudly and reached for the tray and pulled it closer to him. It nearly took all the energy he had. It still had a cup of water and bread but there were new things too. A folded piece of paper and a knife. 

Ronnie's eyes widened. A knife? Why the hell would they give me a knife?  

He picked up the knife and realized it was Dao's knife, the one that had killed the local man and scarred Ronnie's stomach. He dropped the knife in shock.

"What the fuck?" Ronnie muttered to himself. 

He picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. Inside it was a note written in pen. 

 

I can only imagine what being alone in the dark for so long can do to a person. I've decided to turn it into a game. Recognize the knife? Every day I will see if you are dead or not by your own hand. It will be a game of cat and mouse, but you are both the cat and mouse, and I am simply the watcher. How’s your hand by the way? 

 

Sincerely, Lieutenant Colonel Dao

 

Ronnie threw the note and kicked the knife away from him. Dao was a sick and cruel fuck. 

“Suicide is the coward's way out,” Ronnie muttered to himself, curling into a ball.

That was what he had been taught. If you were just gonna take the easy way out of your problems, you were a coward. His mother considered it to be the ultimate sin, destroying yourself after God breathed life into you. Ronnie wasn't that religious, and his time here had only further questioned whether or not God is real. Maybe this was a punishment for his youth. Maybe it was a punishment for his future. If so, Ronnie wondered what his future self could do to deserve this. 

He wouldn't let Dao win, he refused to let Dao win. He could have his little game, but no fucking was Ronnie playing in it. Out of pure stubbornness, he would win. The sadist asshole could go fuck himself. 

On the third day after Ronnie received the knife, he began to think differently. Maybe the insanity of boredom had finally gotten to him. Maybe the voice in the back of his head encouraged it. Maybe it was his sickness getting to him. When Ronnie first arrived, he had a mental breakdown and said that he was gonna die. He had lived this long, but now he was tired.

Tired of starving, slowly wasting away, and losing weight until you look like someone you don't even recognize in the mirror. He didn't even know what he looked like. He hadn't seen a mirror in God knows how long. Ronnie was tired of always darkness and the smell of piss in the air. He was tired of stale water and bread that tastes like shit. He was tired of being forced to work and tortured both mentally and physically. He was tired of being feverish and red and hot all the time. He was tired of being in pain all the time. He was tired of brushing with death. He was tired of living.

The few people he cared about were far far away, and he didn't know what they were doing or even if they knew what happened to him. Beth was 18 now, an adult. Shannon was 9, probably playing with her little friends in their backyard. Mary, his loving mother, he couldn't even fathom what she was feeling or thinking. Jennifer was roughly in her sophomore or junior year of college. Ronnie wondered if she still thought about him. 

Nguyệt was dead, someone that he hadn't expected to fall in love with. She was so young, so innocent. She once told him that he was the first man she had done anything with. First kiss, first time having sex, first relationship, first marriage, first child. He had taken her innocence and her life. It was his fault she was dead.

Benjamin... baby Benjamin. Ronnie didn't even know if he was alive or not. Benjamin was the product of old men sending young men to a foreign country to fight their battles. Ronnie was a father, but he didn't feel like one. He just felt like an empty piece of shit. 

What were the odds of a rescue? Ronnie doubted one would ever happen. And if it did, he'd probably be dead of starvation or whatever sickness that was currently plaguing him by then. There was no true hope. Men here had prayed for rescue and were always hopeful about it. Ronnie couldn't see how. Humanity ran on hope, but it got exhausting after a while. At least to Ronnie. The neverending war was still raging, and he had no idea when it would end. Ronnie was plainly hopeless. 

Ronnie reached his shaking left arm out and grabbed the knife. If there was more light, Ronnie could finally see his reflection. He looked at his poorly healed hand and peeled his dirty tank top up and stared at the scar on his stomach, now a thin white line. He looked back at the knife. It had a wooden handle probably made out of bamboo. 

Ronnie trailed the knife down his stomach and to his right thigh. He turned it horizontally and using all the steadiness he had in his non-dominant hand, he dug the knife into the pants and his leg. Ronnie breathed out painfully and saw red begin to stain his pants. The cut was deep, deep enough to reach the bone.

Holding his breath, he dragged the knife across his leg, feeling the knife cut through muscle. The blood flow was increasing and started gushing when Ronnie pulled the knife out of his leg. A flashing burning pain went through his body. It hurt so much that his vision turned white. The only thing that had hurt anything close to the pain was when Ronnie threw up blood a few days prior. He dropped the knife and started gasping. Blood spilled from his leg and pooled up on the floor. 

He fell on his back since he was too weak to sit up straight. Gasping, he watched as more pooled up until his vision started to go black. 

"Guess you fucking win, Dao," Ronnie muttered to himself before drifting into unconsciousness.

 

***

 

Ronnie woke up surrounded by a pool of his blood. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at the dark concrete ceiling. He hadn't died. He was still on the fucking stupid planet. He sighed and tried to sit up, but he found himself too weak to. 

Finally, after struggling for a bit, Ronnie managed to push himself against the wall. His right hand was on fire, but he was too numb from blood loss and fever to notice it. 

The food tray was by the door, with water and bread, but if it had taken nearly all this strength to just sit up, he doubted he could reach for it. He leaned forward to see how bad the cut was. 

The room was dark and the blood everywhere didn't help, but Ronnie nearly gagged when he saw it. He could see white, which meant he had cut to the bone and the hot humid air was making it worse. He would end up dying after all, he'd die of an infection. 

Ronnie closed his eyes and leaned back into the wall. He was accepting his death, now a slow one. He should have slit his wrists instead. That would have been faster. Maybe the fever and rash would finally kill him. It already had been for weeks.

Ronnie felt his conscience start to slip again, but he heard loud banging noises that jolted him awake. There were gunshots and explosions. He could hear the guards outside his room yelling in Vietnamese and then loud pounding footsteps. They were running away.

What was going on? Ronnie was too curious to ignore it. He took a deep breath and leaned to the side, falling on his side.

Now on the floor, Ronnie painfully turned on his stomach. He groaned in pain. He lifted his head and using his arms and one good leg, he dragged himself to the door. It was painful, his vision went in and out and he thought he'd pass out after only moving a little bit. He made it to the door but collapsed as soon as he did. His body was drenched in sweat and blood. His leg was now numb which probably was not a good sign.

He laid his head on the floor by the door and listened outside. He heard voices. American voices he didn't recognize. They were raiding the camp. they were raiding the fucking camp. Ronnie sighed in relief and smiled. He didn't have to die anymore. He was going to be saved.

He tried to call out and get their attention, but he had no voice. He could feel his body start to shut down. Whether it was from exhaustion, infection, blood loss, fever, or pain, he didn't know. The vision in his left eye was gone, and his breathing was slowed. Just as the rescue came, Ronnie was dying. He didn't want to die anymore, he had a chance to get out of this godforsaken place. He couldn't die now. 

“I know he's fucking here, we just gotta look,” a muffled voice said from outside.

A tear escaped from Ronnie's eye. It was Bobby's voice. Bobby would find him. He heard footsteps come closer so with one final push, he moved his head so they could open the door. 

He finally collapsed when his head hit the floor. He was drifting into unconsciousness again, but this time he didn't know if he'd ever wake up again. He faintly heard the door slam open and someone saying, "Jesus H. Christ," before passing out. 

Ronnie woke up on a stretcher. His leg wasn't numb anymore, and now it hurt like hell. He didn't feel as feverish as he had before. He looked over to his left and saw Bobby talking to Laurie. 

"Laurie?" Ronnie whispered hoarsely.

Laurie looked over at Ronnie and smiled. "Hey Ronald, long time no see."

Ronnie scoffed. "Fuck off, Laurence," he muttered before passing out again. 

He woke up again briefly, this time in a large room. There was a loud noise outside, which made Ronnie figure he was on an airplane. He looked down and saw two people at his leg, working on it. He could feel a cold wet cloth on his forehead.

"Where we goin’?" Ronnie asked.

A man behind him patted his shoulder gently. "We're going home."

Ronnie nodded. "Guess I won the game after all."

"What game?" The man asked, but Ronnie was fading into sleep again.

As Ronnie fell into unconsciousness, he realized the man he was talking to was Polanski. 

 

Notes:

For those wondering, Ronnie was sick with strep throat, which turns into scarlet fever if left untreated or if the body is too weak to fight against infection.

CW: suicide attempt via knife on thigh

For Context:

The US actually did attempt a rescue mission on one of the POW camps on the same day I have the rescue take place in the story. It failed as N. Vietnam was warned in advance and left the camp with the prisoners. So let's say in Animals, there were two rescue missions and only one was successful.

Chapter 36: Another Day in the Life (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Scott's on tour. Beth feels guilty.

 

it's sunday!

last chapter of part four!

Notes:

HOLY FUCK OVER FIVE HUNDRED NOTES THANK YOU THANK YOU

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 36: Another Day in the Life

 

Thursday, November 25th, 1971, Miami, Florida



When the tour finally began in late October, it was completely sold out. Apparently, it was historical, making Scott one of the fastest debut artists to sell out a tour to date. The record label then added more dates for New York and another one in Chicago. Scott was playing in Miami tonight, and they would have a few days off after. 

Being in Chicago had been odd for Beth. She knew her father lived here, and she knew the odds of seeing him were highly unlikely, but she couldn't help but think about what would happen if he saw her. Fortunately, the antics of tour life kept those thoughts out of her head. She was glad that she didn’t see him.

She had quit her job to go with Scott. Scott said he felt bad, but Beth didn't mind. She was moving on. She'd miss Lizzie and Grant's kindness, but she was glad to get out of the work environment for a while. The older women were so toxic.

Sometimes they lived on the tour bus, other times they were staying in hotels. Since they were in Miami for more than two days, they let Scott and the tour crew stay in a hotel. Beth didn't like the tour bus, but she and Scott had a private area with a bed which was way better than the bunk beds. They still had to share a tiny bathroom with eight other people, which really sucked.

The touring musicians were nice. Scott got to choose them so he picked people he already knew. Sam Khanna was a friend of Scott's brother and the guitarist, Rebecca Newman played drums, and John Stern, Scott's cousin, played bass. Rebecca and John were dating, while Sam indulged in being single on a national tour. He joked to Scott that since Beth was here, he got to sleep with Scott's groupies.

Beth thought that was vulgar and disgusting, but she probably wouldn't have known that if she hadn't been listening in on their conversation. In a way, it was her fault. Beth found herself telling Rebecca about it, who shared her sympathies. 

"That is gross, but you're lucky. It could be a lot worse. It's a good thing no one here is hooked on drugs," Rebecca said after Beth told her what Scott and Sam said.

Beth nodded. "I'm glad I'm not the only girl on this tour."

Rebecca nodded. "Me too, sister."

Beth was glad Rebecca was on the tour, or she would have been the only girl. Rebecca reminded Beth of Lizzie since they were both loud and weren't afraid to speak up, a quality Beth wished she had. She tended to remain quiet and not indulge in drama. 

Other than the lack of girls, Beth found herself struggling with guilt. She hadn't said anything to anyone, not even Scott, but Beth felt bad. She felt bad about quitting her job only after 9 months and most of all, missing church. Since the tour started, she hadn't gone a single Sunday, something she hadn't done since she was 16. The guilt was eating her up on the inside, and she knew that God still loved her, but it wasn't like there was an emergency to be dealt with. She was on a rock and roll tour, which was definitely not an excuse for God or Jesus.

She knew if she brought it up she'd just get made fun of and laughed at. So Beth kept quiet about it, even though it was eating her up on the inside.

In terms of church, Beth hadn't been completely horrible about it. She still prayed before she went to bed and at dinner. Scott teased her about it, which annoyed her, but it was better than not praying and going to church at all. Then she'd feel some hellfire.

She tried to not think about too much, since she’d probably feel sick otherwise. Guilt didn’t only make her feel bad mentally, but sometimes, she’d even throw up. Instead, she focused her attention on Scott, who was playing on stage at the moment. 

Watching someone play a show or concert on the stage sidelines was a totally different experience compared to being in the crowd. You got to see what was happening, how fast the guitar techs would tune the guitars, the stereo set up, and the emotions all up close and personal. It was usually so loud you had to wear earplugs if you were standing next to the speakers, and it was recommended if you weren't anyway. 

Beth loved watching Scott perform. He seemed so energetic and was just living in the moment. He clearly loved the attention and the way the crowd yelled and roared as they played songs. Beth joked that his ego must be off the rockers, but she was proud of him. He was doing something he loved for a living. Plus, it also made a truckload of money. Whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness clearly wasn’t rich.

Tonight's crowd seemed to love the fact Scott was wearing a low-cut floral silk shirt. He asked the crowd if they liked it, and Beth thought her ears would explode from the screaming reply. Beth thought the shirt was a little girly and too low cut, but she didn't tell him. They had very different opinions about clothes and fashion. Beth preferred the old-fashioned styles of the early 60s, while Scott was all about being modern.

Usually, after shows, they went to parties filled with girls and liquor. Beth hated the parties and usually just glued herself to Scott while he talked to other people. It was usually a miserable experience and often Beth left early with one of the roadies or someone when she couldn’t stand it anymore. When Scott finished and gave his last bow before going backstage, he said one thing that surprised Beth. 

"Thank you, good night, and fuck the stupid fucking war!" Scott yelled into the microphone before bowing again and running towards Beth. He gave her a lopsided smile. "What'd you think of that?"

"I think you could get in trouble," Beth replied.

"But you agree with me?"

Beth nodded. "You're a brave dumbass for doing that."

Scott laughed. "Don't worry, I won't do it in DC."

"You better not."

Scott grabbed Beth's hand and they walked off the side stage to somewhere quiet. He kissed her head when they were alone. "So, what do you want to do tonight? There's a party I got invited to downtown. Do you wanna do that?"

Beth shook her head. "I don't want to go to a party, can we just go back to the hotel?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, I'm tired anyway. Sleep sounds fucking amazing right now." 

Beth smiled. "Thanks."

Scott shrugged. "I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for sleepy time. Like I just said, I am tired."

Beth laughed. "You're weird."

"You know you love me."

Beth blushed. "I do."

Scott told Sam to tell everyone that he was going in for the night and then someone arranged for the two of them to be driven to the hotel to avoid crowds and fans. Scott thought it was too much, but Beth was glad they did. She hated crowds. They made her feel claustrophobic and that she couldn't escape from them. One of the downsides of dating a brand new celebrity: Everyone wants to find out more about the person. 

The hotel was nice. The gold walls and red carpets made Beth feel like she was in a movie. It was beautiful. As soon as they got to their room, Scott took off his shirt and threw it to the floor. 

"I'm showering." Scott winked at Beth. "Wanna join?"

Beth closed the hotel door and then unbuttoned the top of her blouse. "Why not?"

Scott smiled and went to the bathroom to turn on the shower. Beth finished unbuttoning her blouse and took it off along with her pants and shoes. She followed Scott into the bathroom, also in his underwear, and the shower was already running. He winked at her again as he took off his boxers, causing Beth to giggle. 

He held out his hand. "Care to join me, Elizabeth?"

Beth unhook her bra and took off her panties. She dropped her bra on the floor and took Scott's hand. "Yes, I would." 

Beth loved showering with Scott. He could hold her under the hot water and shampoo her hair. His fingers felt good as he massaged her scalp. It was hardly ever sexual, just intimate. Scott was wonderful that way. Not everything was about sex. 

They dried each other off after they finished and changed into pajamas, which was just Scott in his underwear and Beth wearing one of his t-shirts. Scott climbed onto the bed and lay down on it. Beth went over and sat next to him, a frown on her face. Scott noticed and sat up.

"Are you okay? You've had this look on your face these past few days."

Beth sighed. She wasn't sure if she should tell Scott about her guilt.

Scott patted her shoulder gently. "Do you need anything?"

Beth nodded and decided to tell him what was wrong. "I feel guilty."

"About what?"

"I haven't been to church since we started the tour, and I feel really bad about it. There hasn't been an excuse to not go, and going on a tour doesn't count."

Scott sunk back into the headboard of the bed. "Oh, church," he muttered, almost scoffing. 

Beth knew Scott didn't care for religion, something that made Beth sad. He never went to church with her and according to his mother, he stopped going while he was still in high school. He had the same sense of stubbornness as her brother, which at times made her sad and frustrated.

"Look Elizabeth, it's not the end of the world, you're not going to hell."

That just made Beth feel worse. She looked away from him and choked back a sob.

Scott remained silent for a few seconds before speaking again. "Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. We can go together on Sunday and if you wanna be extra special, I'm sure the churches here offer a daily Mass we can attend."

Beth turned around and wiped her eyes. "You mean that?"

Scott nodded.

"C'mon, lay down with me, I like cuddling with you."

Beth's cheeks turned slightly pink as she lay on Scott's chest. He wrapped his arm around her and buried his face in her hair. 

"You do too much for me," Beth said quietly.

"We all do things for the people we love," Scott replied. 

Beth smiled. "I love you," she whispered before closing her eyes. 

As she drifted off into sleep, she heard Scott speak when he thought she couldn’t, which momentarily woke her up. 

"This has been the greatest year of my life,” he said quietly. 

Beth smiled sleepily before falling asleep in her boyfriend’s arms. 

 

 

End of Part IV

Notes:

a nice ending for a traumatizing part. next y'all in 1972 lol also dying of period cramps and I've been up since 3 in the morning and I have to deliver an emotional monologue for my drama class tomorrow 👍🏻

 

For Context

Mass: Basically what Catholics call service/religious worship. Probably should have put that earlier, but I forget that not everyone was raised Catholic lol

Chapter 37: Reunion (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Mary reunites with her son. Beth is in for a big surprise.

 

first chapter of part 5!!!!

also... THANK YOU for all the hits! means a lot to me

Notes:

happy wednesday!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Part V: The New World

January 9th, 1972 - December 24th, 1972

 

 

Chapter 37: Reunion 

 

Sunday, January 9th, 1972, Washington DC



Mary entered through the metal doors of a government hospital. Her purse was slung at her shoulder and in one arm she was holding her grandson Benjamin, and in the other, the hand of her youngest, Shannon. The waiting room was mostly empty with only a few people milling around. She saw the receptionist's desk and marched straight over. 

That December, Mary received the greatest Christmas present of her life. Her son had been rescued from a prisoner of war camp in Vietnam that November. She had tried to visit him earlier as soon as she was informed, but she was told that she was not allowed to see him until he was well enough both physically and mentally. She had prayed every single day for him to come home and now her prayers had been answered. her baby boy was alive, safe, and sound. 

She and her daughter were probably overdressed for a hospital, wearing their church clothes, but Mary honestly didn't care. She was going to see her son after over two long years. 

"Excuse me?" Mary asked the receptionist.

A young woman in a nurse’s uniform looked up from her desk. "Can I help you, ma'am?"

Mary nodded. "I'm here to see Ronald McKittrick."

The woman nodded and handed her a clipboard. "Can you please sign this visitor's form while I see where he is?"

Mary nodded. "Of course," she said, going over to an empty seat. "Shannon, sit in the chair next to me, and don't wander off."

Shannon nodded and sat down. "Yes, Mommy."

Mary then put Benjamin into Shannon's lap. "I know he's heavy, but you hold him while I sign these papers?"

Shannon nodded again and started playing with Benjamin's hands. 

Mary filled out the forms and returned them to the receptionist, who gave her the visitor passes for herself and the children. 

"Ronald McKittrick is on the 5th floor, in room 5102. The elevator is right on the left."

Mary nodded. "Thank you."

She returned to Shannon and Benjamin. "Let's go."

She picked Benjamin back up and went to the elevators with Shannon following her. They stepped inside and Shannon insisted that she pushed the button, so Mary let her.

"Do we get out here?" Shannon asked when the elevator doors opened to the fifth floor.

Mary nodded. "Yes, honey."

Shannon ran out of the elevator with Mary behind her. 

"Shannon! We're in a hospital, so be quiet and don't run."

Shannon frowned and looked down. "Sorry, Mommy."

Mary sighed. "It's okay, let's go find your brother."

The hospital was big and everything was white, which didn't help Mary's case. Eventually, she knew she'd have to ask for help, but she couldn't see any nurses or doctors anywhere. She heard some chatter, so she decided to follow it and ask there. 

The talking led to a common area with patients of various degrees of injury milling around, talking, reading, or playing chess. Mary scanned the room to see if maybe Ronnie was there, but she couldn't see him. She then saw a young black man around Ronnie's age looking at them. He then stood up and walked over. 

"Excuse me, but do you need help, ma’am?" He asked politely. Then he looked at Benjamin and back at Mary a few times. His face scrunched in confusion and then surprise. "Are Ronnie's mother?"

Mary's eyes widened. "Why, yes I am. How did you know?"

The young man shrugged. "You got the same eyes as him, and I've never seen eyes that blue before." He then looked at Benjamin and laughed. "Dear Lord, is that Benjamin? I haven't seen him in over a year. He's huge. I thought- Ronnie thought he was dead," he admitted, frowning at the end. "He's adorable," he then said, holding his finger out to Benjamin, who grabbed it. 

The man suddenly realized something and stood up straight. "I'm so sorry, ma’am, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Robert Walker, but I go by Bobby. Your son and I were in the same squadron, and we were prisoners together."

"I'm Mary, and this is my youngest daughter Shannon," Mary replied, shaking Bobby's hand. 

Bobby nodded. "Are you looking for him?"

Mary nodded.

Bobby pointed down a hall in front of him. "He's down that hall, all the way to the end, the door on the left."

"Thank you," Mary said, trying not to get emotional.

"Anytime ma'am, I hope to meet you again in less depressing circumstances."

Mary chuckled. "I hope so too."

Bobby nodded again and walked away. Mary turned to Shannon. 

"Are you ready?"

Shannon nodded. "Yes!"

Mary grabbed Shannon's hand and walked down the hallway Bobby had pointed at. As they came closer to the end, Mary felt her heart start to beat faster and faster. She hadn't felt this nervous in a very long time. When they arrived at room 5102's door, Mary's knees started to buckle, but she composed herself. She was holding a baby and her 9 year old daughter was watching.

The sign on the door said private, which meant it was only Ronnie in the room. She took a deep breath and opened the door. 

In the center of the room, was a hospital bed and in it was a young man with black hair. He was looking away from the door, out of a window, but his head turned when he heard the door creak. Ronnie turned to see his mother, baby sister, and a baby standing in the doorway. 

Ronnie's voice wavered. "Mama?"

Ronnie watched as his mother practically ran over to his bed. 

"My baby!" Mary yelled as she flung her free arm around and buried her face into his neck.

Ronnie wrapped his arms around his mother. "Hey, Mom." 

"My baby," she muttered again before letting go.

Shannon went over to her brother and climbed onto the bed. "RONNIE!" She yelled as she flung herself on him. 

She stepped on his bad leg, and he winced in pain. Mary noticed immediately. 

"Shannon, get off your brother, you're hurting him."

Ronnie shook his head. "It's fine. Shannon, you can sit on this side of the bed," Ronnie said, patting the left side. 

Shannon climbed over to sit down. She smiled at him and Ronnie saw that she had several teeth missing. 

"Damn, you have gotten huge," Ronnie muttered as he turned back to his mother. Mary smiled at him and leaned her head towards the baby.

"Would you like to say hello to your son?"

Ronnie looked at the baby and realized who it was. It had been almost a year since he had laid eyes on him. Ronnie nodded his head gently and choked down a sob.

Mary gave Ronnie Benjamin, who was babbling to himself.

Ronnie held Benjamin in his lap and rubbed his head. Tears began to slip from his eyes, and Ronnie gave up trying to compose himself. He started crying quietly. Benjamin, who seemed to notice the distress, looked up at Ronnie and laid his head on Ronnie's chest. Ronnie held his son as tears streamed down his face. 

Mary pulled up a chair and waited for Ronnie to calm down. "Are you okay, mo grá?" Mary asked when he composed himself.

Ronnie nodded. "I'm just really happy right now."

Mary nodded. "I suppose I should catch you up on the last couple of years."

"Yeah, that'd be helpful. A few nurses told me what has happened in music and pop culture, and it was just fantastic to learn that Hendrix, Joplin, and Morrison are all dead. Made my day." 

Mary frowned, though Ronnie knew music was the last thing she knew about, and she was just being sympathetic. She looked over to see that both Shannon and Benjamin had fallen asleep on Ronnie. 

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Ronnie shook his head. "Don't, I don't mind."

Mary looked down at the floor and then back at her son. "If you don't want to talk about what happened over there, you don't have to, okay?"

Ronnie nodded. He was glad she had said that. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about Vietnam.

"Well, I guess you're wondering what we've been doing all this time," Mary said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I am."

"Well, Shannon's now in fourth grade, and Mr. Benjamin over here is very close to taking his first steps. We also had Benjamin baptized. Beth's the godmother, and we had a deacon step in as the godfather."

Ronnie nodded. Baptizing hadn't really been on his mind, even before he was captured. "Has he said his first word yet?"

Mary nodded. "So far just seven, but it's Mamó, Shana, Be, hi, bye, and Scaw."

"I guess you're Mamó, Shannon's Shana, Beth’s Be, but who's Scaw?"

"Oh, that's Scott, he's your sister's boyfriend."

"Beth has a boyfriend?" Ronnie asked, surprised.

Mary nodded. "She moved to Dallas in late February and got a job at one of the newspapers there. She met him at a restaurant in March, and they've been dating ever since. He looks like he could be in one of those westerns, he's very handsome."

Ronnie nodded. "Huh. What does he do?"

"He's a singer."

Ronnie cocked a brow. "Is he like a well-known one?"

Mary nodded. "His name is Scott Stern."

"I’ve heard that name. One of the nurses said she'd sell her soul to have sex with Scott Stern."

Mary gasped. "Ronnie!"

Ronnie sniggered. "Sorry. Wait, so are you telling me that my sister Elizabeth Mary McKittrick is dating a celebrity?"

"Yes, she is."

Ronnie stared at Benjamin's head. "Christ."

Mary frowned. 

"Yeah, yeah, sorry I took the Lord's name in vain," Ronnie muttered.

"Well, moving on, Scott has been on tour since October, and the last show he played was here in DC, yesterday."

Ronnie nodded. 

"Beth went on the tour with him, so I've called him, and they're going to come here in an hour or two."

"So I get to meet Mr. Rockstar?"

Mary nodded. "Yes, and Beth still doesn't know you were rescued, so it'll be a surprise."

Ronnie leaned back into his pillow. "Fun."

 

***

 

Beth and Scott had spent the morning exploring the capital. Scott had been here before since his father was a retired military officer, but Beth had never been this far east until Scott took her on his tour. She was glad it was over now since she was tired of sleeping in hotel rooms and on the tour bus. She couldn't wait to sleep in her own bed again. 

They came to a grassy area covered in snow, surrounded by various buildings. Scott stopped walking and turned to her. 

"I have a surprise for you."

Beth's eyes widened. "Oh really? What is it?"

Scott shrugged. "Close your eyes."

Beth gave him a funky look, but she still closed her eyes.

Scott grabbed her hand. "Okay, we're gonna walk now, so no peeking until I say so."

Beth scoffed. "What are we doing?" She asked as they started to walk forwards.

"It's a surprise," Scott replied. 

He led her through sidewalks and people, which she only knew since she could hear them. Eventually, she heard Scott open a door and Beth could feel the warm air breeze through her. 

"Are your eyes still closed?" Scott asked as they stepped inside whatever building they were in. 

Beth nodded. "Can I open them now?"

"No, now can you sit in this chair while I go do something real fast?" Scott asked as he led Beth to a chair and sat her down.

Beth sighed and crossed her arms. "Fine, but you better hurry up or I'll open my eyes."

Scott laughed and Beth heard him walk away from her. 

She couldn't hear who or what Scott was talking to, but she did hear a loud gasp, so Beth figured the person he was talking to knew who he was. 

"Okay, I'm back, I'm gonna put this thing around your neck," Scott said, as Beth felt him put something around her neck. 

She felt it and figured it was some kind of lanyard. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"No. C'mon, we still have a ways to go."

Beth sighed, now slightly annoyed. She heard an elevator ding and Scott pushing a button so she assumed that they were going up. The elevator door opened and Scott led her out of it into somewhere new. They kept walking, occasionally turning until Beth felt Scott stop.

"You can open your eyes now."

Beth opened her eyes and saw she was at the end of a white hallway. In front of her was a brown wooden door with the label 5102 on it. The air was cold and smelled sterile. She looked down and saw the thing she was wearing around her neck was a lanyard and it was holding a visitor’s pass. 

"Are we in a hospital?"

"Open the door," Scott said.

Beth gave Scott a weird look as she opened the door. In the room, she could see her mother, nephew, and in bed, her brother. Her jaw dropped in shock. 

"RONNIE!" Beth yelled as she ran towards her brother.

"Surprise, Beth," Ronnie said as Beth hugged him.

She noticed that Benjamin was in his lap so she was careful only to smother her brother.

"Okay, okay, you're choking me," Ronnie said, starting to sound slightly hoarse. 

Beth let go of him and smiled. "I'm glad you're safe."

Ronnie nodded sadly. Beth now had a good look at her brother. He looked so different than he was two years ago. He was thinner, and his hair was cut slightly longer than it was the last time she saw him, but Beth could see at the ends, it was stringy and dead with a few streaks of grey, meaning that it probably looked worse before since he probably didn’t have access to a decent haircut. His right hand was banged and there was a cane by the side of his bed. Could he not walk straight? The saddest part of it all was his face. 

He had no wrinkles, so Beth guessed that all his stress went into his hair. His eyes looked so much older. They looked like they had seen things no one should see. They still had the mischievous twinkle, but it was more of a sadder look. His left eye didn't look right. There was sunlight in the room, but it was still dilated. What happened to her brother?

"I got punched, it's permanent. Kind of my fault too, I was being a stubborn smart ass," Ronnie said when he caught her looking at his face.

Beth nodded. "Oh."

Ronnie leaned back again to see Scott, who was still standing in the doorway awkwardly. "You must be the famous boyfriend singer I've heard all about."

Scott laughed and walked over, so Beth moved out of the way and stood behind her mother. 

Scott put his hand out and smiled. "That’d be me. I'm Scott Stern, nice to meet you."

Ronnie shook it. "Ronnie McKittrick, nice to meet you too," he replied, smiling as well. 

Notes:

yayyy reunionnn

 

For Context

Mamó- Irish for grandma

Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison of the Doors, Janis Joplin: All late 60s rockstars who got very famous and died between 1970 and 1971 from drug-related deaths. All of these people were 27, but the concept of the 27 Club didn't become popular until Kurt Cobain's death in 1994. Joplin also was bi! (Which I felt was important to mention)

Chapter 38: The New World (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Scott and Ronnie get to know each other, Scott and Beth leave Dallas, and Ronnie finally gets out of the army.

 

happy sunday!!!

Notes:

CW: Mentions of former mental state,

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 38: The New World

 

Two weeks later



Mrs. Alders came up to visit Ronnie and Laurie, who worked in DC now, a few days after Mary and everyone had arrived. She took Shannon home with her so she wouldn’t miss any more days of school, but Mary stayed with Benjamin, and Beth and Scott stayed as well.

Ronnie liked Scott. He was funny, and they basically had the same opinions about music, movies, sports, politics, and how well your steak had to be cooked (medium-rare). He was usually bored in the hospital,  but whenever Scott and Beth were visiting, they always had something to talk about.

Ronnie didn't know how Scott was dating his sister considering they were polar opposites. Scott was more liberal while Beth was more conservative and dressed like a housewife, and hardly ever wore pants while Scott wore clothes that both men and women could wear. He thought the contrast was funny and also entertaining, but they clearly loved each other, so Ronnie couldn’t judge.

Another that Ronnie appreciated about Scott was that he never brought up Vietnam. Mary was good about it, but Beth sometimes asked what it was like living in the jungle or something like that. It wasn't offensive or cruel, but just thinking about it made Ronnie want to die. 

Beth and Mary once asked why he had his own room, since normally in hospitals you tend to share a room with at least one other person, so Ronnie just told them that since he was a prisoner of war, he got special treatment. The truth was that Ronnie woke other patients up with his nightmares, so they moved him to a smaller, private room at the end of a hall. Less likely to scare someone other than yourself. 

Ronnie probably enjoyed spending time with his son most of all. He was so much bigger now and was almost walking. 11 months had passed and Ronnie could barely believe it. 

Benjamin was a happy baby, he had no idea he didn't have a mother or that his father was fucked up psychologically. The innocence surrounding a baby was tremendous, and Ronnie often wished he could be like his son. Not knowing what happens in the world and only knowing that he is surrounded by people who love him. 

Today, Mary was doing an errand with Beth and Benjamin so it was just Scott and Ronnie today. Ronnie didn't know why Scott stayed with him, considering that they'd only known each other for two weeks, but was glad he had someone to talk to that wasn't a soldier or a nurse. 

The day was beautiful, with a clear blue sky and there was fresh snowfall from the night before, so Ronnie and Scott walked outside. There weren't other people around since it was cold, but Ronnie didn't mind the cold. It was different from the humid jungle air, and Ronnie thought that if it was different from his personal hell, it was a good thing. 

After they patched up his leg, Ronnie walked with a limp and had to use a cane. He thought it was horrifying, but the reason why he was limping was even worse. He had told the doctor's that he had cut his leg and didn't want to talk about what happened over there. He was pretty sure the physical therapist suspected he was lying, but he never said anything. It wasn't completely hopeless though. Ronnie's leg muscles were healing faster than it was originally projected to and he was told he could probably walk normally again by June if it continued to heal at this rate. 

Mary had brought some of Ronnie's clothes with her, though some were a little big on him, which made Ronnie sad and so he made a mental note to himself to eat all of the hospital food he was given, even if it tastes like shit. He wore an old tan winter coat while Scott wore a brand new brown trench coat. It was handsome and looked expensive. 

"How much was that?" Ronnie asked when his curiosity got the best of him. 

Scott looked down at his coat. "Good question. I don't know, to be honest, your sister gave it to me for Christmas."

"But she bought it with your money, right?"

Scott shrugged. "Don't ask me, man."

Ronnie snickered and then stopped walking and turned to Scott. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why are you still here? Beth's not around, you don't have to keep up with the good boyfriend charade."

Scott laughed and shrugged. "I’d feel bad if you were alone and Elizabeth told me to anyway."

Ronnie sighed. "My life is so sad my sister's boyfriend is spending time with me because he feels bad."

They both looked at each other for a second before laughing.

Ronnie saw a bench further up the sidewalk. "Do ya wanna sit down?"

"Uh sure, though our asses will probably get wet."

Ronnie nodded and sat down. "Oh well." The bench wasn't too wet, but it was cold and both Ronnie and Scott made a noise when they sat down.

"Jesus fuck, that's cold," Scott muttered.

"Beth must love it when you swear like that."

Scott snorted. "I said fuck, bitch, and Jesus all in the same sentence back in December, and she didn't talk to me for three days."

Ronnie laughed. "That's fucking hilarious."

"Not to me."

Ronnie smiled and looked down at the concrete. "This is kind of a depressing subject change, and I don't even know why I'm telling you this, I barely know you."

Scott didn't say anything.

Ronnie took a deep breath. "I’ll be honest, back in Vietnam, I thought I was gonna die. I was prepared to die. I wanted to die. I didn’t expect to come home and see my kid one more time. I-I gained so much from my time there and lost it all within a year. Maybe God’s finally punishing me for being such a fucking asshole.” 

Scott sat there silently next to him for a bit until he started speaking again. “Sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger your troubles, they don’t know you and you don’t know them. The meaning of the words isn't as deep, I guess. It’s easier to confess to someone you don’t know than to a loved one. There are no strings attached.”

Ronnie sighed and looked at Scott. He was staring at the ground, his hands clasped together in his lap. 

"You have a way with words," Ronnie muttered.

"I do write songs for a living."

Ronnie smiled, breaking awkward seriousness. "I like you, you're a good boyfriend."

Scott smiled and started laughing in relief. "Honestly, I thought you would hate me and not approve of the relationship, though I did say the opposite to Elizabeth."

Ronnie cocked a brow. "Why?"

"All of the girls I dated in high school's brothers hated me. I still don't know why."

Ronnie looked Scott dead in the eye. "I can answer that one for you. You're tall, blond, wealthy, and attractive. You sound like the ultimate douchebag."

Scott laughed. "Cheers to that."

 

Two weeks later, Dallas, Texas

 

Beth and Scott flew to Dallas towards the end of January. Beth wanted to stay with her brother longer, but they had to go back. Scott was preparing to move to Los Angeles by the end of February. 

Movers were all over their apartment, packing up boxes and moving things around. It was noisy and Beth jumped whenever they dropped something. Scott found it amusing and started teasing her about it.

"You're jumping at everything, what are you a rabbit? Are you gonna sprout bunny ears and have a sudden taste for carrots?"

Beth shoved Scott playfully. "Shut up.”

"Okay, Flopsy," Scott replied.

Beth gave him a weird look. "And does that make you Peter Rabbit?"

"No, that'd make us siblings, and incest is disgusting."

Beth laughed. "I'm surprised you know who that is."

Scott scoffed. "My nanny used to read it to me and Charlie when we were younger."

Beth smiled. "That's sweet. Also makes you sound very spoiled."

Scott nodded in agreement.

Beth watched the movers take furniture from the apartment downstairs to the large truck, where they would load it up and then eventually send it to California. 

"You know, I've never had anyone pack for me before," she told Scott, who had come behind her.

"Well, I guess you'll have to get used to being pampered," Scott said into her ear, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Beth blushed and leaned back into his chest.

"I can't believe this is all real. Sometimes I think I'm dreaming so I pinch myself and sure enough, it hurts."

Beth laughed. "I feel the same way sometimes, but unlike you, I don't pinch myself."

Scott chuckled. “That’s what makes us different, I do the dumb stuff and you get to scold me about it.”

Beth just smiled and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the moving boxes. 

 

Washington DC

 

“You ready to go home, baby?” Mary asked as she, Ronnie, and Benjamin waited for the elevator.

Ronnie nodded. “I’ve been looking forward to this for a very, very long time.”

Mary smiled sadly as the elevator dinged. Its doors opened and they stepped inside. She pressed the button for the first floor and stepped back next to Ronnie, who was holding Benjamin.

Today, Ronnie was discharged from the government hospital and honorably discharged from the army. He had served over two years, which was the minimum for drafted soldiers. Since Laurie had enlisted voluntarily, he would have to serve another two years before he was eligible to be discharged. 

Aside from being discharged, Ronnie was also awarded the Vietnam Service Medal and the Purple Heart for the injuries he sustained during his time as a prisoner of war. The service medal was actually just a badge, sewn onto one's uniform, so Ronnie didn't know why they called it a medal. The Purple Heart was much fancier. It came in a small box with a small pillow. It was nice looking and Ronnie was pretty sure it was worth some money, but he didn't really care about it. He had suffered through hell and back and all he got in return was a shiny medal.  

When they got out of the elevator, Ronnie asked his mother to sit in the waiting room while Ronnie filled out paperwork and finalized things. She nodded and took Benjamin from his arms.

After an eternity of signing papers and saluting, Ronnie was officially discharged from the United States Army. A feeling of relief washed over him as he walked over to his mother with a smile on his face.

"Officially no longer part of the military and never will be ever again," Ronnie said.

Mary shook her head, but she had a smile on her face. "You shouldn't say that in a military hospital."

Ronnie shrugged. "I don't care, I'm ready to get out of here."

Mary nodded and stood up. "Let's leave then, our flight's at 3."

Ronnie nodded. "All the suitcases are at the hotel you're staying at, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's check out there and go home."

Mary smiled and opened the entrance doors with her free hand. "Agreed."

Ronnie stepped outside and breathed in the cold air. He closed his eyes and soaked in the moment. When he opened them again, he saw his mother standing next to him, smiling sadly. 

"You okay, honey?" She asked gently

Ronnie nodded. "I'm starting a new chapter in my life and I don't know what I'm gonna do, and I'm okay with it."

"Starting new chapters in life is always exciting, no matter how young or old you are."

Ronnie nodded again. "C'mon, let's go home," he said, taking her hand and walking away from the hospital. 

From DC, they flew into Kansas City. From there, Ronnie had a mini-reunion with Aunt Eileen, whose house still smelled of cabbages, and then Mary drove the four and a half hour drive to Ridge’s Creek. She had left her car with Aunt Eileen so she wouldn't have to pay for parking at the airport. 

The car was new. Mary told him she had sold his truck and her old car for the Cortina. Ronnie didn't mind too much, he assumed Mary would have sold it while he was gone, considering it smelled like cigarettes, a smell she could not stand. 

Ronnie spent the car ride looking out the window, at the prairie and cattle grazing. It had been so long since he had seen an area with hardly any trees, and the lack of mud seemed foreign. There was little snow, which was odd for early February, but Ronnie was happy to see any landscape other than a jungle.

When he saw the welcome sign, he asked Mary to stop the car. She gave him a confused look but did anyway. Ronnie unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. It was warmer here than in DC, but the cold air still nipped at Ronnie's nose. He looked around him and took a deep breath, and let the view wash over him. 

He heard the car door open and saw Mary get out and stand next to him. 

"Welcome home, mo grá," Mary said as they both stared out into the grass fields. 

Notes:

yoooooooo my homies do comment and you'll make me the happiest person alive also tomorrow is valentine's day so i made a shit ton of cookies to take to school tomorrow and eat them (or sell them bc I'm broke as shit) also planning to throw rocks at couples

ALSO: I went back and fixed the formatting on the earlier chapters and Jennifer is now 6'0 and not 5'11

ANDDDDD OH MY GOD my friend who is my beta reader found this on here (i send her the google docs its originally written on) and she didn't know i was publishing it now. tristan if you're reading this, i love you and i won't judge on whatever tag you found this on <33333

For Context

The Purple Heart: A medal awarded to all US armed forces injured during active duty. It had George Washington on it. They're pretty heavy too. My Abuelo has one so I've seen one in person.

Military Discharge: Normal requirement for enlisting is 4 to 6 years, but for those who were drafted, it was about two years required service.

Chapter 39: Home Is an Adjustment (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie adjusts to civilian life as Scott and Beth adjust to fame and LA

Notes:

Happy Wednesday!

CW: Slight sexual references, maybe some slight casual ableism?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 39: Home Is an Adjustment

 

Late February 1972, Los Angeles, California



When Scott and Beth stepped out of their plane, they were immediately greeted by the paparazzi. Both of them were quite surprised. Luckily, they didn't follow them inside the airport, just the area where you got off the plane. When they were alone again, Scott leaned toward Beth. 

"I'm sorry, I had no idea they'd be here, I didn't think I was that famous."

"It's fine, you didn't know, you don't need to apologize," Beth replied.

"Yeah, I still feel like it's my fault."

"Well, it is."

Scott scoffed. "Shut up."

Beth just smirked. 

After getting their suitcases and bags, Scott got a taxi to their new place. Beth didn't exactly know where it was since Scott had kept it a secret. He was so insistent on keeping it a secret that he even wouldn't let Beth inside the taxi until after he told the driver where they were going. 

"Why are you so intent on keeping where we're gonna live a secret?" Beth asked, starting to get annoyed.

Scott opened the taxi door. "After you."

Beth rolled her eyes as she stepped inside the car. "I hate you."

Scott climbed in after her. "I love you too."

The driver took off, taking Beth into the unknown. Los Angeles was nothing like Dallas. They were both large and populous, but LA seemed twice as big and three times as confusing. There were clubs, bars, and people everywhere. Beth stared out the window in amazement. With the sunny skies and the ocean on its doorstep, Beth could see why so many people loved it here. It was an urban paradise. 

Beth noticed that they drove away from the inner city, and toward the ocean. She could start to smell a faint salty aroma, even though she still couldn't see the water.  

When they passed by a sign saying Long Beach, the taxi driver said, "About ten more minutes."

Beth turned to Scott. "We're living in Long Beach? Like near the beach?"

Scott smiled. "Maybe."

Beth smiled from ear to ear. "I've never lived by any body of water. Shoot, I don't think I've ever even been to a beach."

Scott turned to her and cocked a brow. "You've never been to a beach?"

Beth nodded.

"Well, that's something we gotta do very soon."

The driver then drove into a fancy neighborhood with houses each larger than the one before. Finally, the car stopped. Beth turned to Scott. 

"Are we here?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah."

He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car door. He jogged over to Beth's side of the car and opened her door for her. 

Beth smiled at him as she stepped out. "Thank you."

"Let me go pay the driver and get our suitcases," Scott said, patting her shoulder.

Beth nodded and turned to the house in front of her. It was beautiful. It wasn't as large as some of the other houses in the neighborhood, but it was just beautiful. It was twice as big as the house she grew up in and brand new. Here she was, not even 19 years old, and living in a large house in LA with her boyfriend. It was a dream come true. 

Beth heard the taxi drive off and turned to Scott, suitcases surrounding him. 

“Here, let me help you,” Beth said, taking a suitcase in each hand and walking towards the entrance of the house.

When she got to the doorstep, she dropped the suitcases and stared at the stained mahogany doors. 

"I flew out here a couple of times to get this house," Scott said, now standing behind her.

Beth nodded. "I love it so much, Scott."

Scott laughed. "You haven't even seen the inside yet."

"I don't care. If the outside is this pretty, I can only imagine how nice the inside is."

"Well, you're about to find out," Scott murmured, going in front of Beth and unlocking the door with a key in his pocket. He glanced at Beth and pulled out another set of keys from his pocket.

"For you."

Beth took the keys and smiled. 

He unlocked the door and pushed it open. He stepped out of the way. "After you."

Beth chuckled as she stepped inside the house. It was even nicer on the inside. Normally, Beth wasn't one for modern houses, but she was in love with this one. There seemed to be nothing wrong with it. The only odd thing was that there was already furniture there, furniture Beth had never seen before. 

Confused, she turned to Scott. "Why is there already furniture?"

"It's ours, I bought it with the house. The furniture at the apartment was my parents', and the ones we packed, I just gave 'em back to them." 

"This is really all ours?" 

Scott nodded and hugged Beth from behind. "Yes, ma'am."

He then let go and grabbed her arm. "C'mon, let's go explore the house. Maybe there's a secret tunnel somewhere."

Beth laughed. "Or a hidden room."

Scott smiled. "That's the spirit." 

The house had four bedrooms, five bathrooms, a pool, and a music room, which was soundproof and had all of Scott's instruments there already. There were no secret tunnels or rooms, but the more Beth saw, the more she loved the house. At this rate, she wouldn't be surprised if she ended up loving the house more than Scott. Beth was kidding of course, but she couldn't get over how wonderful her new home was. 

Scott took her out for an early dinner after they finished unpacking and exploring the house. It was a casual restaurant nearby, but Beth felt underdressed compared to some of the other patrons there. They were wearing expensive new clothes, while Beth was wearing a sweater and skirt that she had since her sophomore year of high school. 

"Don't worry, we'll get you new clothes. After all, you're my girlfriend, and you need to look like it," Scott told her when she brought it up. 

While they were eating, two girls around Beth's age or a bit younger came up to them. 

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but can I please have your autograph?" One of them asked, her face turning red.

Scott laughed. "Oh, of course. You got a pen?"

The other girl pulled a pen out of her bag and gave it to him. Scott grabbed two napkins and signed his name on each of them, along with a little message. 

"What's y'all's names?"

The one who spoke earlier spoke again, her face now the color of a tomato. "I'm Lindsey and she's Maggie."

Scott nodded. "To Lindsey and Maggie," he muttered, finishing off and handing the napkins and pen back to the girls. 

Maggie, the one who gave him the pen, smiled from ear to ear. "Thank you."

When they left, Scott looked at Beth. "It's weird to have random strangers know your name and want to know you. They were sweet, but I don't know how I'm gonna deal with more eager fans."

"I'll admit Scott, I'm not looking forward to being the girlfriend of a celebrity."

"Don't worry, I'll make it easy for you," Scott promised. 

Beth smiled. "I love you."

“Love you too." 

"What are we going to do now?" Beth asked Scott when they got home.

Scott pulled off his t-shirt and threw it to the floor. "Have sex."

Beth blushed as Scott kissed her cheek gently and started to pull off her sweater. 

 

Early March 1972, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska

 

Adjusting to civilian life again had been hard for Ronnie, but he kept it to himself. His dreams kept him awake and sometimes he found himself absentmindedly tapping Morse code. It wasn't any message or words, just numbers and letters. When he first came home, he slept on the floor for the first few days. The hospital bed was about as comfortable as concrete, and it felt odd to sleep in a real bed again. 

He hadn't left the house since he came home. He didn't want to, though eventually, Ronnie knew that he'd have to make visits to people and let them know he wasn't dead. It was nice to have a quiet house, with just him and Benjamin during the day until Shannon came home from school. 

Scott had gotten nominated for three Grammys and had won Best New Artist. Ronnie was proud of him, though they weren't really friends. It was cool to know someone famous. Free bragging rights, though there wasn't anyone to brag to other than Benjamin and Shannon. 

On a Saturday, Ronnie decided he'd go visit the Parkers and Mr. Tran. He decided to visit Jack and Mrs. Parker first since it'd be better to get the more awkward visit out of the way. He called the house, which made him realize the last he phoned them was when he and Jennifer were still dating. 

"Hello?" Mrs. Parker's voice asked from the other line.

"Hi, Mrs. Parker, it's Ronnie."

Mrs. Parker gasped. "Oh my god, how are you, sweetheart?"

"Uh, a bit tired," Ronnie replied truthfully. 

"Mary told me you were back in the states, but I didn't know you were back home."

"Yeah, I got back like two weeks ago. I've just haven't left the house since then."

Mrs. Parker laughed. "Jack and I are going out to lunch today, would you like to join us?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, Mrs. Parker."

"Please, it's Georgina, we're both adults now. We're going to Kimberly's around 1."

Ronnie chuckled. "I'll see you then, Georgina."

"Bye-bye."

"Bye," Ronnie said, hanging up the phone. He looked over to Mary, who was on the couch, reading a book. 

"Hey Mom, I'm going out for lunch with Jack and Georgina."

Mary looked up from her book. "Oh, that's good that you're finally leaving the house." She set down her book. "That is going to be a very awkward lunch, mo grá ."

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, eating lunch with my ex-girlfriend's parents, that'll be fun."

Mary chuckled. "Not to mention that you have a child and you're already a widower."

Ronnie sat next to his mother. "Damn, you're right. I think I just realized I'm a widower."

Mary shook her head. "Sometimes, I wonder how you managed to get all those scholarships in high school."

"Well, I did manage to lose all of them."

Mary playfully smacked his arm. "I still canna believe you did that."

Ronnie shrugged. "I can."

Mary sighed and rolled her eyes.

Ronnie smirked. “I’m gonna go get dressed and get my old man stick.”

Mary chuckled as he walked away.

Ronnie took a shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a red button-up shirt. He had gained some weight since he came home, but the shirt still seemed baggy and his belt was looped tighter than it was two years ago. His hair was a bit longer than what he would normally cut it, but he liked the style, so he decided to keep it.

Looking into his mirror, he stared into his face. If it bothered him now, he wondered how bad he looked in November. The doctor had told him that his left eye would be permanently dilated, but his vision would not be affected. It was still 20/20, which Ronnie thought was ironic. After everything he went through, his vision was perfect.

Ronnie borrowed his mother's car since he didn't have his truck anymore. It felt odd sitting in the driver's seat after not driving for so long, so Ronnie was worried that he'd forget how to drive and crash the car into a tree or a person. Fortunately, it was like riding a bike, Ronnie seemed to remember everything and after a few swerves, he was driving normally. 

Nostalgia filled up Ronnie's head as he drove towards Kimberly's. Memories from his teenagehood went through his brain, some good, some bad. Mostly memories of him and Jennifer or Laurie messing around. It was odd to think that he was already 22. He basically lost two years of his life, and suddenly, he was the same age as when his mother had married his father. 

After parking the car in the lot behind the restaurant, Ronnie just sat there. He knew that he wasn't ready to see his ex-girlfriend's family. It would be 3 years in September since he proposed and Jennifer broke up with him instead. He was acting like a pussy, and he had been in war for fuck’s sake, he could face the Parkers.

Sighing, Ronnie got out of the car and walked towards the front of the entrance of Kimberly's. Putting on his brave face, he opened the door of the restaurant and stepped inside. The smell of burgers and fries hit Ronnie's nose, and his stomach grumbled. 

This is what heaven must smell like, Ronnie thought. 

He looked around and spotted a woman with grey hair and copper skin. It was Georgina. He started to walk over to her, but she saw him too and rushed over.

"Hey, sweetheart," she said kindly, pulling Ronnie down so she could hug him.

"Hey," Ronnie replied, hugging her back. 

She let go of him and stepped back. she looked at him before breaking into a smile. "You look great, honey."

Ronnie chuckled. "Please, you're making me blush. I look and walk like an old man," Ronnie said, realizing he left his cane in the car. 

Georgina rolled her eyes. 

"No, seriously, I have a cane now, I left it in the car."

"Well old man, come sit down," Georgina said walking back to the booth.

Ronnie followed her. He noticed he wasn't limping as bad as he was last week, so he was glad he had forgotten the cane. He hated it anyway. 

At the booth, he saw Jack, and across from him, a man and a woman whose heads were turned. When they heard Ronnie and turned around, he saw it was Pamela and her husband Vince. 

Pamela stood up and walked over to Ronnie. He saw she was holding a baby that looked a bit older than Benjamin. 

“Well, well, look who it is,” she said, smirking.

Ronnie smirked as well. "Hey, Pam," he said, as she went in for a side hug. 

She let go and smiled. "Jesus, I haven't seen you since my wedding day."

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, it's been a while." He pointed at the baby in her arms. "Is that yours?"

Pamela nodded and laughed. "Yeah, this is Jack, he'll be 2 in July."

"My son will be 2 in November actually."

Pamela shook her head. "Look at us, we're both parents."

"Feels weird." 

Pamela nodded. "Now c'mon, let's go meet the rest of the crowd." 

Ronnie shook hands with Vince and got a hug from Jack, which was something he wasn't expecting. Georgina sat next to Jack so Ronnie sat next to her. The lunch wasn't as bad as Ronnie thought it would be. They mainly just caught up with each other.

Pamela and Vince moved to Duluth, Minnesota shortly after their honeymoon for Vince's job. Pamela didn't like the cold weather, but Vince loved it, claiming it to be way better than Oklahoma winters. Jack was obviously named after his grandfather, but his middle name was Vince, his father's name. Ronnie just happened to call Georgina as they were visiting.

Ronnie in turn talked about Benjamin and Beth, which made him realize how great her life was compared to his. All the luck he had when he was younger was gone or had jumped ships. The burgers were even better than Ronnie remembered. He probably would have stuffed it down and ordered another if he wasn't eating with other people. 

They avoided talking about Jennifer at first. Her name was not brought up once, and sometimes Ronnie would catch one of them staring at him awkwardly, but it only lasted a second or so. Ronnie knew that he'd have to be the one who brought up her name, but he didn't want to. It was awkward enough having lunch with your ex's entire family. 

"So," Ronnie began after finishing his beer, "how's Jennifer?"

Georgina smiled and nodded. "She's good. We just saw her for Christmas."

Ronnie nodded. "I mean, what's she doing now?"

Jack interceded. "She's in her junior year of college now, I believe she's double majoring in education and English. She’s also on the varsity basketball team."

Ronnie nodded. Jennifer also played basketball in high school and was honestly a better player than Ronnie, but sports scholarships weren’t really offered to women. "Yeah, she once told me she wanted to be a teacher."

The silence afterward was nearly unbearable. Ronnie stared at his plate and felt everyone's eyes gravitate around him. Eventually, the waitress came with the check, which broke the silence. 

"Here you are, guys," she said, handing a small leather book to Jack.

Jack nodded. "Thank you."

Ronnie pulled out his wallet and gave Jack 5 dollars to pay for his food and drink.

"Oh you don't have to do that sweetheart, we invited you," Georgina said.

Ronnie shook his head. "No, I insist."

Jack glanced at Georgina. "I'll always take extra money, you know that."

"Jack!"

Jack just looked at Ronnie and winked, causing everyone except Georgina and baby Jack, who was sleeping, to laugh. 

After a long goodbye of shaking hands and receiving hugs from Georgina and Pamela, Ronnie left Kimberly's and drove to his next destination: The Lotus Flower. Although he had originally thought having lunch with the Parkers would be more difficult, Ronnie's left leg started to bounce in anticipation. When he got there, he had a pit in his stomach, one almost as bad as the one he got when he became a father. 

He stopped the car after parking it and sat in the seat. He had told his mother he would keep off the cigarettes, but Ronnie now knew he was going to buy a pack when he was going back home. His nerves were going to be the death of him. Stepping out of the car, Ronnie once again walked towards the entrance of another restaurant. 

Kimberly's was more crowded, but the restaurant looked pretty busy. A familiar young woman wearing glasses saw him standing and walked over to the hostess counter. 

"Hi, how can I- Oh my god, Ronnie!" Daisy squealed, dropping the menu she was holding and flinging herself on him

Ronnie chuckled. "Hi, Daisy."

"When did you get back? Does Dad know you're back? Is it true you have a kid?" Daisy blurted, asking a million questions at once.

"Uh, about two or three weeks ago, no he does not, and yes, I have a son," Ronnie replied, trying to remember the order of the questions she asked. 

"What's his name?"

"Benjamin Đạt."

"I have an uncle named Đạt, he's my Dad's brother."

Ronnie nodded. "I was told it was a common name. You're 17 now, right?"

Daisy nodded and picked up the menu she dropped on the floor. "My birthday was last week."

"Oh well, happy belated birthday."

She smiled sheepishly as she pushed up her glasses. "Thanks."

"I'm here to see your father, is he here?"

Daisy nodded. 

"Office?"

"Yep."

"Thanks, Daisy. It's nice seeing you again," Ronnie said, walking towards Mr. Tran's office. 

"You too," Daisy answered, sighing a bit at the end.

"She still has a crush on me," Ronnie mused, but quietly so only he could hear it. 

Ronnie took a deep breath before knocking on Mr. Tran's door.

"Yes?" A voice asked from the inside.

Ronnie opened the door and popped his head in. "Hello," Ronnie said, using Vietnamese for the first time in months.  

Mr. Tran looked shocked. He stood from his chair and walked over to Ronnie. He was silent as he hugged Ronnie. Ronnie hugged him back, which was kind of hard since he was far taller than Mr. Tran. 

“When did you get here?” Mr. Tran asked, wiping at his eyes.

“Uh, about two minutes ago.”

“Would you like something to eat?”

Ronnie shook his head. “I just ate, and if we’re being honest, I don’t really wanna eat Vietnamese food right now.”

Mr. Tran nodded. “That’s understandable.” He then gestured to the chair next to Ronnie. “Please, sit down.”

Ronnie sat down in the chair and Mr. Tran sat back down in his own chair. There was an awkward silence at first, with just the two of them sitting quietly and not speaking. Ronnie hadn't prepared what to say other than a hello. What was there to say? Hello, I've been in your country killing people for the past two years, not to mention that I was held prisoner in a war camp, but how are you?

"When did you get back?" Mr. Tran asked, breaking the awkward silence. 

"Two weeks ago or so."

Mr. Tran nodded. "Your mother informed me when you went missing. I'm very glad you're here safe and sound."

Ronnie smiled sadly. "That means a lot to me."

"So, you're a father, no?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, I mean it wasn't my choice to become a dad, but I guess after seeing him for the first time, you start to think maybe it was worth it after all."

Mr. Tran smiled.

Ronnie continued. "I wasn't in his life for over a year but somehow he's so attached to me, it's like I never left. I didn't think it was possible to love something at first sight, but when I saw him in his mother's arms, I knew I'd love him forever."

"I felt the same way when Rose, my oldest, was born. I was so nervous, but the end product was quite worth it." 

"I never thought I'd be speaking to you about fatherhood," Ronnie admitted, scratching the back of his head.

Mr. Tran chuckled. "Unexpected things tend to happen more than you would like to."

"You can say that again," Ronnie muttered. 

"What was she like?" Mr. Tran asked gently.

Ronnie cocked a brow. "Who?"

"Your wife."

"Oh," Ronnie said quietly. 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he did, he saw a young woman wearing a blue sundress and long black hair. she was wading in a river, the water up to her shins. She looked up and gave Ronnie a little wave. Ronnie opened his eyes again and looked at Mr. Tran.

"I only married her because I got her pregnant, and she didn't want an abortion, but I ended up falling in love. Sure, it took some time, but I did. Benjamin's all I got left of her."

Mr. Tran gave Ronnie a sad smile. "You're a brave man, I don't think I could go on if my wife passed away."

"Well, I wasn't given much of a choice."

Ronnie stayed a bit longer, talking to Mr. Tran about the past and the war as a general topic. Now that Ronnie was discharged, he had no problem expressing how he felt about the war. He had read and heard about the many protests against it and Ronnie thought it was nice, but they didn't do anything. Men were still over there in the jungle. Maybe now they were starting to listen to the public, considering there had been a large withdrawal of troops recently, but when Ronnie was there, the government wasn't listening to jack shit. 

Ronnie promised Mr. Tran that he'd bring Benjamin over one day so he could meet other Vietnamese people in America. Mr. Tran also made Ronnie promise another thing: Teach their culture to Benjamin. Now that he didn't have his mother, Benjamin would grow up in mainly American traditions, and Mr. Tran felt that Ronnie should at least try to bring Vietnamese culture to Benjamin since it was technically his home country. Ronnie promised and agreed, but he didn't know how well he'd keep on top of it. 

As soon as Ronnie left the restaurant, he immediately went to the store and bought cigarettes and a lighter. He had promised his mother he'd stay off the cigarettes, but he didn't care anymore. When he took his first puff, he sighed in relief and shoved the lighter into his pocket. 

He sat outside the car and smoked since it was his mother's car. When he finished, he popped some mints he had also bought into his mouth and started the car. He didn't know where he was going now, but somehow he found himself driving by the path leading to the old oak tree.

 He got out of the car, and for the first time since his failed marriage proposal, he went down the dirt path. He kept walking until he got to the foot of the hill where the tree was on top. It was a cold March afternoon and the wind was blowing straight into Ronnie's jacket, so he doubted that anyone else was there. He sighed deeply and walked up the hill. 

The tree looked the same as it always did. He could see a couple more initial carvings but other than that, it looked the same as it did 10 years ago. He stared at the trunk until he spotted an all too familiar carving. He stared at his and Jennifer's initials for a good while. Then he scoffed and turned away.

"Look how that turned out," he muttered as he walked away from the tree and back to Mary's car. 

When he got back home, he saw his mother holding an unfamiliar wooden box. He gave her an odd look.

"What's that?"

"You'll see," she said, setting it down on the couch and beckoning Ronnie to sit next to her. 

Ronnie sat down and leaned his head on her shoulder. Mary stroked his head gently, her fingers running through his hair.

"How was lunch?" 

Ronnie shrugged. "It was a lot less awkward than I thought it would have been. Pamela and her husband are in town so I think that helped. They got a son a bit older than Benjamin. They named him after Jack."

Mary smiled. "Well, I'm glad it went well, mo grá."

"Me too, Mom." Ronnie then sat up and stretched his arms. "Where's Shannon and Benjamin?"

"Benjamin's taking his afternoon nap and Shannon is in her room playing with her Barbies," Mary replied.

"I'll join her later," Ronnie said, smiling. He then looked at the wooden box now in Mary's lap "So, are you gonna tell me what's in the box?"

Mary chuckled. "Yes, just hold your horses." She paused and looked at Ronnie. "After the village was raided, men went through homes and tried to salvage what they could. Some things were lost, but Laurie managed to save a couple of photos, and he found a ring, I don't know if it was yours or Nguyệt’s."

Ronnie nodded. "So, that's my stuff?"

"Yes, honey."

Ronnie swallowed down a sob and took the box from Mary. He opened it, and sure enough, there were pictures inside. Among the photographs was a small silver ring, the one Ronnie bought when he proposed to Nguyệt. He picked up the ring gently and held it in his hand. 

Ronnie felt a tear trail down his face as he put the ring in his shirt pocket. He looked at his mother, who was looking at him sadly. "Thanks, Mom."

Mary smiled and put her hand on his face and wiped his face. "You don't need to thank me, mo grá. You being here is already a big thank you." 

Notes:

A lot of this part is about adjustment for both parties

For Context

Đạt rhymes with that or pronounced Daht

Chapter 40: The City of Angels (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie decides to leave Ridge's Creek.

Chapter Text

Chapter 40: The City Of Angels

 

Saturday, March 25th, 1972



After debating about it for a while, Ronnie decided to tell his mother that he wanted to go back to work. He decided to tell her during breakfast on a Saturday morning since she wouldn't have to work herself. 

"Mom?" Ronnie asked as Mary set down a plate of eggs and toast for Shannon.

"Give me a minute to sit down," Mary replied before Ronnie could even ask his question.

"Okay," Ronnie mumbled, focusing his attention on Benjamin, who was sitting in his high chair eating cut-up bites of scrambled eggs. Ronnie liked watching him eat. It was entertaining to watch someone laughing and smiling while eating his food. 

Mary came back to the table with her plate and sat down. "Okay, what is it that you want to tell me?"

"You know Mom, I can always make breakfast. I do know how to cook."

Mary shook her head. "I insist. I'm going to pamper you whether you want it or not."

Ronnie chuckled. "I was thinking about going back to work. I've been home for a month now, and I'm bored of sitting on my ass doing nothing."

"Language."

"Sorry. I mean it though, I'd like to get back to a normal life."

Mary nodded and took a bite of her toast. She swallowed her food and nodded. "I think that's a wonderful idea, sweetheart. Do you want me to ask around? Maybe Thomas Gilman can give you your old job back."

Ronnie shook his head. "That's nice of you, Mom, but I don't want to work or live here. I'd rather go somewhere new and not full of bad memories." 

Mary nodded. "I understand, but I don't want you to go."

"I'll always be a phone call away."

After breakfast, Ronnie took Shannon and Benjamin to play outside. It had warmed up considerably and now one only had to wear a thin coat or long sleeve shirt when going outside. That meant spring was coming. 

Shannon was very persistent in getting Benjamin to walk and play with her, but he ended up crawling away and playing with the blades of grass he had plucked from the ground. 

Shannon eventually became frustrated and plopped next to Ronnie, who was next to Benjamin. "Why won't he play with me?" Shannon asked, crossing her arms.

Ronnie tried not to laugh. "Well, he is a baby, and you're 9."

"I'll be 10 in May!" Shannon retorted.

"Exactly, you guys got an 8 year age difference in between."

Shannon pondered this. "But you play with me, and you're old."

"I'm old?"

"Yeah, you're 22. That's old."

"Then that makes Mom ancient?"

"How old is Mommy?" Shannon asked.

"Uh, she was born in 1925 and her birthday is next month, so she's… about to turn 47," Ronnie said after doing some math in his head. He couldn't believe he had forgotten how old his mother was. 

"That's old," Shannon decided.

"You do know people can live over 100, Shannon?" Ronnie said, staring at his sister.

Shannon's eyes widened. "Really?"

Ronnie started laughing. "You didn't know that? You're in fourth grade. I'm impressed."

Shannon's face turned red and looked down. 

Ronnie saw her face and rubbed her head. "Hey, it's okay. Here, I'll let you in on a little secret if you promise not to tell anyone."

Shannon's head immediately popped up. "What?"

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

Shannon nodded eagerly. "Yes!"

"Okay, so when I was in 10th grade, on the last day of school, I set a few pieces of paper on fire and one thing led to another, like two tables and a few textbooks also caught on fire."

Shannon gasped. "Why did you do that?"

"I thought it was funny, and I liked doing stupid stuff for fun. Who am I kidding, I still like to do stupid stuff for fun."

"You're weird."

"I agree," Ronnie replied. 

Benjamin looked up and clapped his hands. " Mamó !"

Ronnie turned his head and saw Mary coming outside. 

"Beth's on the phone," she called out.

Ronnie nodded and gave her a thumbs up. He turned to his sister and son. "C'mon, let's go say hi to your sister and your aunt."

Shannon stood up and ran towards the house, leaving Ronnie in the dust. He chuckled as he picked up Benjamin and walked into the house. 

When Ronnie came inside, Shannon was on the phone, yacking her little ass off to Beth. Ronnie chuckled and handed Benjamin to Mary. 

"Hey Shannon, can I talk to Beth?"

Shannon looked up. "No," she said.

Both Mary and Ronnie snorted. 

“I thought we were best friends,” Ronnie said, pretending to be hurt.

Shannon glared at Ronnie and rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she muttered, handing the phone over to Ronnie.

Ronnie smirked and tried not to laugh. He took the phone from his sister and put it to his ear.

"What was that about?" Beth asked 

Ronnie smirked. "Shannon's stubborn, that's all."

"So, she's turning out like you?"

"For Mom's sake, I hope not."

Beth laughed. 

“So, how’s Los Angeles?”

“It’s cold in the mornings, but by lunch, it’s really hot.” 

“I meant you, not the weather.”

Beth laughed. "Oh, I'm dumb."

"I agree."

"Shut up and let me answer your question."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am."

Beth scoffed into the phone while Ronnie refrained from a chuckle. 

"I'm good, and I love living near the beach. I've already been there like four times."

Ronnie cocked a brow. "Isn't the water freezing?"

"I don't care."

"Well, if you die of hypothermia, don't blame me."

"Ronnie, your sarcasm and negativity aren't going to get you anywhere," Beth chided.

"They've gotten me this far," Ronnie retorted, mainly just to annoy Beth. 

"You're so difficult."

"Thank you, that means a lot to me." Ronnie could hear Beth groan into the phone. He smiled and started speaking again. "Hey, I'm just kidding."

"Really? I didn't notice," Beth muttered.

"Ignoring all that, I was going to tell you that I'm thinking about going back into the workforce."

"Oh, that'd be good for you," Beth said, sounding quite sincere.

"Yeah, I think it'd be good to start over and get away from everything, so I'll probably move out, though Mom's gonna be really sad," Ronnie said, looking at his mother, who was playing with Benjamin.

"That makes sense, I mean, moving out did wonders for me, so I can only imagine it'll do the same for you."

"I hope so too."

"Why don't you come to California?" Beth suggested.

"California?" Ronnie repeated.

"Yes, then you'd be starting somewhere new, and you'll already know Scott and me so it won't be lonely."

Ronnie pondered this. It wasn't a bad idea, it was actually quite a good one. "That's actually a good idea, Beth. I'll have to think about it though. I'll sleep on it."

"I hope you consider it."

Ronnie nodded. "Okay, I'm giving the phone back to Miss Impatient, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye," Ronnie replied before giving the phone back to Shannon, who was standing behind him, her arms crossed with a sour expression on her face.

"Here you are, your majesty," Ronnie said sarcastically before walking over to his mother and son. 

“How’s Beth?” Mary asked.

"She asked me to move to California if I'm looking into going back to work."

Mary nodded with a surprised look on her face. "Oh, that's sweet of her."

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, I think I might consider it, I've always wanted to go to California."

Mary smiled, but Ronnie noticed she was looking at his chest. He glanced down as well and saw she was staring at the ring and dog tags around his neck. Although his dog tags had seen hell and back and were a constant reminder of the past, Ronnie couldn't bring himself to take them off. He had put Nguyệt's wedding ring between them, and he promised himself he'd never take them off, as they were a tribute to her. All he had left of her was the ring and her son. 

Ronnie looked at his mother and smiled. She returned it, but her eyes had a sad look in them. 

After debating for about a day, Ronnie decided to take up his sister's offer and move to Los Angeles. He told his mother during lunch, after church. Mary had tried convincing Ronnie to come with her, but he refused. She was a bit easier about it than she used to be, so Ronnie thought she was taking the fact that her son was a prisoner of war for 9 months.

"Are you sure you want to move away?" Mary asked, frowning

"I'm pretty sure that you don't want me to move away," Ronnie replied.

Mary pursed her lips. "I'll miss you and Benjamin."

"I know, but I'm 22, I'm an adult, Mom. I can't live with you forever."

Mary sighed. "I know, mo grá, I know."

"I've given a lot of thought about it, and I'm ready for a new chapter in my life, and I think California is that new chapter."

Mary nodded. "Even though I don't want you to go, I'm glad you're moving with your life."

"Thanks, Mom."

After lunch, Ronnie called Laurie. He hadn't spoken to him since February, and he felt bad about it. Barbara had given him Laurie’s new number in DC, so Ronnie rang him up and hoped he'd answer. 

"Hello?" Laurie questioned.

"Hey, it's Ronnie."

"Christ, dude, you could have called me when you first got back," Laurie ranted.

"Sorry, I forgot."

Laurie scoffed. "Yeah, sure."

"So, how's DC?"

"Boring, I hate my new job."

Ronnie laughed. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have enlisted then."

"Shut up."

"I called to tell you that I'm moving."

"Good. Where?" Laurie asked.

"LA, my sister lives there with her boyfriend. It'll be nice to start fresh and get to know a couple of people."

"Agreed. Fresh starts are always good. Wait, I know someone who lives in the LA area."

Ronnie was surprised. "Who?"

"Her name's Lorraine Freedmen, but she goes by Lola. She used to work in one of the hospitals here. Here, I'll give you her number, and you guys can meet up. I think you two would like each other."

"Thanks, let me get some pen and paper," Ronnie said, setting down the phone and grabbing a pen and a pad of paper off the coffee table in the living room. "Okay, I'm back, what's her number?"

"It's 714-1829-1220. Got it?"

Ronnie nodded as he wrote down the numbers. "Yeah, and her name is Lola Freedmen?"

"Yes, sir."

“Thanks.”

They talked on the phone for another 30 minutes before Laurie had to leave. It was nice talking to him about stuff other than war, it reminded Ronnie before he got drafted and they hung out every weekend after work. It seemed so long ago, but in reality, it was only 3 years ago. It was strange to think that a major event could make a year ago feel like a decade ago. 

Ronnie started packing that night, after putting Benjamin to bed. A part of him was worried that he'd struggle to find a job since he hadn't worked in so long and didn't really have much work experience to even begin with, but he was still excited about starting somewhere new. 

 

Saturday, April 1st, 1972, Omaha, Nebraska

 

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Mary cried, hugging Ronnie tightly. 

Ronnie hugged his mother back, but his eyes were on the clock, he didn't want to miss his flight. Mary had driven Benjamin and him to the airport in Omaha, and they were saying goodbye. Shannon was very upset that Ronnie was leaving, and she refused to speak to him since they left the house. 

"Shannon, you're still my best friend, right?" Ronnie asked, letting go of his mother.

Shannon looked up. "Do you have to go?" She asked, her lips trembling.

Ronnie sighed and crouched down to her level. "We all have to leave the nest at some point, and don't worry, unlike last time I went away, you can actually call me."

Shannon nodded. "I'm gonna call you a lot then."

Ronnie chuckled and ruffled her hair. "I can't wait." He looked back up to his mother and took Benjamin from her arms. 

"Call me when you get to Beth's house," Mary said, clearly trying not to cry.

Ronnie nodded. "Okay, Benjamin, it's time to say bye-bye."

"Bye-bye!" Benjamin said, giving Shannon and Mary a little wave. 

"Bye," Ronnie said as he grabbed his suitcase and walked away from his mother and sister. 

The flight was more comfortable than Ronnie thought it would be. They served lunch, and they even gave Benjamin a little toy to play with. Ronnie was worried that Benjamin would fuss and cry on the plane, but he ended up sleeping through the entire flight and didn't wake up until the plane landed. 

"Hey, we're here," Ronnie said to his son when the plane hit the ground.

Benjamin rubbed his eyes and looked at his father. "Daddy," he said, reaching out to Ronnie's face.

"Hey, you called me Daddy," Ronnie said, a smile beaming across his face. Benjamin hadn't called him anything yet until now. He rubbed his son's head gently and unbuckled his seatbelt. Today was the start of a new era.

Ronnie found Beth waiting for him at the baggage claim. He spotted her blonde hair and he waved her over. Beth saw the duo and walked over.

"Hey," she said with a big smile. "How was your flight?"

Ronnie cracked his neck. "Benjamin slept the whole time, and they fed us lunch, so I'd say a pretty good one." He then motioned to Benjamin. "You mind holding him while I get the other suitcases?"

"No, of course not. Come here, Benjamin," she said, reaching out to take him. 

"Go with your Aunt Beth while I get our bags," Ronnie said, giving him to Beth and walking towards the convertor belt with bags on it.

Ronnie only brought three suitcases: two of his stuff, and the smaller one full of Benjamin's stuff. He had left his various music records behind and planned to get them on another trip. 

"So, where's Scott?" Ronnie asked as they stood outside the airport, waiting for a taxi.

"Oh, he didn't want to attract attention," Beth explained.

Ronnie nodded. "Ya know, I feel really bad about having to stay with you guys for the time being. Honestly, I feel useless compared to you and Scott."

Beth rolled her eyes. "It's fine, Ronnie. It's great having you around."

Ronnie cocked a brow. "Who are you, and what have you done to my sister?"

Beth laughed. "I've missed you, that's all."

Ronnie nodded. "Me too."

Ronnie admired the view on the taxi ride to Beth's place. It seemed like everyone had money and Ronnie kind of felt out of place. It was evening now, and all the night lights were starting to come on. He liked the big flashing lights and buildings, they were nothing like home. 

When they arrived at Beth's house, Ronnie was taken back. It was twice as big as their home in Ridge's Creek, and it was smaller than some of the houses on the street. At that moment, he realized how well off his sister was. She was dating a rich guy and was way better off than he would ever be. He then spotted a young blond man on the doorstep smoking a cigarette. Ronnie chuckled. So, Scott smoked too.

Ronnie paid for the taxi while Beth took Benjamin. He then took out his suitcases and set them on the curb. Scott came down from the doorstep and smiled. 

"Hello," he said, taking his cigarette out of his mouth.

Beth scowled. "You know I can't stand smokers."

Scott sighed and dropped his cigarette on the grass and stepped on it to put it out. "Happy?"

Beth rolled her eyes. "I'm not kissing you until you use mouthwash."

Scott rolled his eyes while Ronnie laughed. Scott looked at Ronnie. "You smoke, right?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah."

"I thought you quit for good," Beth said, frowning.

Ronnie shrugged. "It's a good stress reliever."

"Well, let's just go inside," Scott said, changing the subject.

Ronnie nodded and picked up two of his suitcases while Scott grabbed the other. Beth walked up ahead of them and entered the house with Benjamin. As the two of them walked up to the door, Scott turned to Ronnie.

"Welcome to Los Angeles."

Chapter 41: Lola Freedmen (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie goes out with the girl Laurie told him about

Notes:

happy wednesday!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 41: Lola Freedmen

 

May 1972, Running Springs, California



It was actually easier to find a job than Ronnie thought it would. Sure, he hated it with a burning passion, but it paid well enough, and Ronnie got to spend time with Benjamin. Ronnie had gotten a job as a mechanic in mid-April. He had learned how to fix cars in high school and often helped fix the trucks when he wasn't busy in 'Nam. After a few weeks of training and apprenticeship, Ronnie was almost as good as his coworkers. 

He ended up moving to Running Springs, which was on the opposite side of LA and near the mountains. His house was small and old, but it had three bedrooms so Benjamin could have his own room and there would still be another room available. He worked in Riverside, which was a 45 minute drive from his house, but he didn't mind the drive, since he got peace and quiet. 

Beth sometimes watched Benjamin when Ronnie was working, and other times, Benjamin was at the daycare near his work. He preferred to have Beth watch him since it was free, but it was a pain to drive to Long Beach from Riverside and Running Springs, so Ronnie had to deal with paying daycare expenses. 

Ronnie found it odd how well he had adjusted to his new routine. Wake up at 6, leave at 7:30, drop Benjamin off at daycare at 8:10, arrive at the auto shop ‘round 8:30, work until 5, pick up Benjamin, come home, repeat 5 days a week. He'd come home every day, have a beer, and make dinner for himself and Benjamin. He did the shopping on Sundays, and on Saturdays, he usually went out to a bar or somewhere family-friendly so he could take Benjamin. It seemed like he had been doing it for years now, not weeks. Ronnie honestly didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

On a Friday evening, Ronnie found himself sitting in his living room, smoking, and watching TV. He had just put Benjamin to bed and had a pile load of dishes to do since he didn't do dishes the night before. He had no idea how two people could make so many dishes. It seemed logically impossible. 

He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and opened it. He had received his California's driver license two days ago, making him an official resident of the state. Ronnie pulled out a folded piece of lined paper and opened it. It was the number and name Laurie had given him when Ronnie told him that he was moving to California. He hadn't called her yet, but since he had nothing better to do, he decided he might as well call her now.

"Oh, fuck it," Ronnie muttered. "I got nothing to lose."

He stood up and walked over to his phone. Looking at the paper, Ronnie dialed the numbers and waited for an answer.

"What do you want?" A woman's voice harshly asked from the other line. She had a slight southern accent. 

"Is this Lola Freedmen?" Ronnie replied, partially taken back by her tone of voice. 

"How’d you know my name?" Lola asked suspiciously.

"My name's Ronnie McKittrick, I'm Laurie Alders’ best friend."

"Oh, so Laurie gave you my number. Why?"

"I just moved here to LA, and he told me that he knew someone here already, so he gave me your number and name."

"Ronnie... wait, Laurie’s mentioned you, yeah, you're his best friend that was a prisoner of war," Lola said, clicking her tongue.

"That's me," Ronnie answered

"So, I'm assuming you ain’t one anymore."

"No shit."

Lola laughed. "You're funny."

"Thanks, I pride myself on being humorous."

"Well, since we're talking now, would you like to meet up one night?"

“Sure, and if we're being honest, I basically have no friends here anyway.”

Lola laughed again. "Okay, Mr. Friendless, do you know the Angelix? It's a nightclub in Anaheim."

"I don't know any nightclubs here, but I'll be glad to go to that one."

"Next Saturday at 8?"

Ronnie nodded. "I'll see you there."

"Wait, before you hang up, what's your phone number, I need to be able to harass you too."

Ronnie chuckled. "Yeah, gimme a minute, this is a new number, I don't have it memorized yet." Ronnie grabbed a slip of paper next to his phone which contained his phone number. "Okay, it's 909-1756-1531."

"Jesus, do you live in San Bernardino? That's far."

"Uh yeah, I live in Running Springs."

"Excuse my French, but where the fuck is that?"

Ronnie laughed. "It's fine. It's near the mountains and like 10 minutes away from Snow Valley Mountain Ski Resort."

"Did you move there because you like to ski?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, I love skiing, and I only have like two neighbors, so that's nice."

"Sounds like paradise."

"Until your old ass A/C stops working, so then now it gets really hot at night."

Lola chuckled. "Even though you interrupted my dinner, I enjoyed talking to you."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I'll see you next Saturday."

"Yes, sir."

 

A week later, Anaheim, California

 

The only problem with living so far from the urban city was that it took forever to drive anywhere, and taxis were super expensive. Ronnie had to take a loan to buy his car, but he had done the math and saw it'd be cheaper than taking a taxi everywhere. It cost money to park at the nightclub, but it was cheaper than taking a taxi from his house. 

Ronnie had never been to a nightclub before, considering he grew up in Hicktown, USA, and the "clubs" in Omaha weren't nightclubs, at least not clubs compared to the Angelix. People were dancing, drinking, and just having a good time. Ronnie wasn't a huge fan of disco, but he liked the vibe disco had. 

He sat at the bar, drinking a martini, watching people enter and exit. He didn't know what Lola looked like, but he hoped he'd know who she was as soon as he saw her. 

A young woman entered the nightclub wearing a sparkly magenta jumpsuit and gold platform heels matching her jewelry. She had an afro and dark brown skin. She had this kind of confident and radiant energy around her, that made Ronnie immediately believe she was Lola. She eyed Ronnie staring at her and walked over. She sat down next to him and turned to face him. 

"Are you Ronnie?" The woman asked, raising a brow.

Ronnie cocked a brow in return. "Are you Lola?"

Lola laughed, flashing a pearly white smile. She nodded and held her hand out. "Nice to meet ya."

Ronnie shook it. "You too." He then pointed to his drink. "You want one? I'll pay for it."

Lola nodded and waved the bartender over. "Can I have a Mai Tai?"

The bartender nodded and left them. Lola turned back to Ronnie. 

"You know you are a LOT better looking than I thought you would be," she said, emphasizing the word "lot".

"I don't know whether I should be flattered or offended," Ronnie replied, taking a sip from his martini.

Lola laughed again. 

"I'm kidding, and I think you're gorgeous."

"Are you trying to suck up to me?"

Ronnie chuckled. "Maybe."

Lola grinned again as the bartender came back with her drink. 

"Thank you," she said as he set the drink down.

The bartender nodded and left to go help someone else. 

"You know, I'll be honest, I've never been to a nightclub."

Lola looked shocked. "Seriously?!"

Ronnie nodded. "I mean I'm from a small town in Nebraska, and I don't consider bars to be nightclubs. Plus, I was in Vietnam for two years, and I mean they got nightclubs in Saigon, but I was sadly stationed further north."

Lola nodded. "I think the war is so stupid."

Ronnie agreed. "I'm discharged now, so I can say this, but I agree 100 fucking percent. My ex-girlfriend now, but back in '68, we were gonna go to Chicago for the demonstration there, but I ended up getting arrested for a DUI. I'm glad now we missed it, considering what happened." 

Lola nodded. "I mean getting arrested is just as bad, but I see your point."

Ronnie shrugged. "I ended up not getting charged, and I just had to pay a fine, no driving for the rest of the year, and lose all my football and basketball scholarships."

Lola took a sip from her drink. "Wait, you did that in high school?"

Ronnie nodded. "18, senior year."

"You're younger than me, I'm 25."

"Wow, you're so old, I'm surprised you don't have any grey hair yet."

Lola laughed and stood up. "C'mon junior, let's go dancing."

"I actually am a junior, but I hate my father," Ronnie said, standing up as well.

"What are the odds? I hate my father too."

Ronnie snickered. "Um, fair warning, I haven't been dancing in like almost three years." And I honestly don’t like to dance either, he added silently. Well, at least I’m when I’m sober.

Lola grabbed Ronnie by the arm and led him over to the dance floor. "Just follow my lead."

"Yes, ma'am," Ronnie said as they started to dance. 

Lola was a good dancer. They got a few stares, but whether it was because of her eccentric dancing or the fact he was dancing with a black woman, Ronnie didn't know or care. A Led Zeppelin song came on, and Ronnie grinned from ear to ear.

"Fuck yeah, Led Zeppelin."

Lola chuckled. "You like rock 'n roll?"

Ronnie nodded, swaying his head along to the song. "Not to be crude, but if rock music could be embodied as a person, I'd fuck 'em on sight."

Lola just laughed. "You're entertaining."

Ronnie just wiggled his eyebrows at her. "I'm also a tad bit tipsy."

"After one martini?" 

"More like after three," Ronnie confessed. "Don't worry, I can hold my liquor."

They danced for a couple more songs before Lola's feet started to hurt, and she needed to sit down. She took off her shoes and sighed. 

"God, I'm tired.'

Ronnie sat next to her. "Me too." He then glanced at his watch and looked back up at Lola. "I probably should get going soon. I have a long drive, and I told the babysitter I'd be back by 12:30 latest."

"You have a kid?" Lola asked, surprised.

Ronnie nodded. "I have a son, he's a year and a half, he'll be 2 in November."

"I'm impressed, you're a single dad. Where's his mom?"

"Dead, I'm a widower."

Lola frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry."

Ronnie shrugged. "It's fine, you didn't know."

Lola looked down at the floor. Before it could get awkward, she looked up and spoke again. "We should definitely do this again."

Ronnie nodded and smiled. "Yes, yes we should." 

Notes:

hey guys, i'm doing a lot better now, but now i'm just dealing with shit at school and its really aggravating bc i really don't wanna deal with drama and shit

 

For Context

Snow Valley Mountain Ski Resort: Actual ski resort, still open today!

Chicago Protests of Summer '68/Chicago Seven:

In fall 1967, the Democratic Party selected Chicago for its 1968 national convention, and the National Mobilization Committee to End the War in Vietnam (MOBE), proposed anti-war demonstrations to protest the expected renomination of President Lyndon Johnson for the 1968 presidential election. In early 1968, MOBE opened a Chicago office directed by Rennie Davis and Tom Hayden.

The Yippies, including Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman, were also planning a "Festival of Life", announced at a press conference on March 17, to counter what they described as the Democratic "Convention of Death". In March, representatives of various groups met to discuss coordination of the demonstrations; Hayden and Davis drafted a proposal: "the campaign should not plan violence and disruption against the Democratic National Convention. It should be nonviolent and legal."

On the eve of the convention, Mayor Daley put the 11,900 members of the Chicago Police Department on twelve-hour shifts, while the U.S. Army placed 6,000 troops in position to protect the city during the convention and nearly 6,000 members of the National Guard were sent to the city, with an additional 5,000 National Guard on alert, bolstered by up to 1,000 FBI and military intelligence officers, and 1,000 Secret Service agents.

On Sunday, August 25, protest leaders allegedly told people to test the curfew, while there were several thousand people in Lincoln Park, around bonfires, beating drums, and chanting. When the park was officially closed at 11 p.m., Chicago police used tear gas and moved in with billy-clubs to forcibly remove them from the park. Police formed a skirmish line and cleared the park, ending up on Stockton Drive, with about 200 police facing about 2,000 protesters. Protesters, journalists, photographers, and bystanders were clubbed and beaten by the police. On Monday, August 26, demonstrators gathered in Grant Park and climbed on a statue of General Logan on a horse, which led to violent skirmishes with police. Police hauled a young man down and arrested him, breaking his arm in the process.

"The Battle of Michigan Avenue", described as "a 17-minute melee in front of the Conrad Hilton", was broadcast on television, along with footage from the floor of the convention. The police violence extended to protesters, bystanders, reporters, and photographers. Police pushed protesters through plate-glass windows, then pursued them inside and beat them as they sprawled on the broken glass. 100 protesters and 119 police officers were treated for injuries, and 600 protesters were arrested.

After a speech by Eugene McCarthy in Grant Park that Thursday afternoon, a march was joined by delegates and McCarthy supporters but was stopped at 18th Street and Michigan Avenue by the National Guard. Arrests were followed by tear gas and mace, while marchers chanted "The whole world is watching" and retreated to Grant Park. In the park, demonstrators sang various patriotic songs and chanted "join us" softly. Five hours later, police officers raided a party organized by McCarthy workers in the Hilton hotel, and beat them viciously. According to the workers, all telephones on their floor had been disconnected a half hour before, and they had no way to call for help.

The Department of Justice report found no grounds to prosecute demonstrators, and Attorney General Ramsey Clark asked the U.S. attorney in Chicago to investigate possible civil rights violations by Chicago police. On September 4, 1968, Milton Eisenhower, chair of the National Commission on the Causes and Prevention of Violence, announced the commission would investigate and report its findings to President Lyndon Johnson. The Walker Report was released on December 1, 1968, characterized the convention violence as a "police riot" and recommended prosecution of police who used indiscriminate violence; the report said the vast majority of police had behaved responsibly, but a failure to prosecute police who used indiscriminate violence would further damage public confidence in law enforcement. The Walker Report also said demonstrators had provoked police and responded with violence of their own, and the "vast majority of the demonstrators were intent on expressing by peaceful means their dissent." (Wiki)

Read the whole wiki for more info. this is the extremely condensed version.

The Trial of the Chicago Seven goes into great detail on what happened and it's a good movie! Plus, it's on Netflix

Chapter 42: The Pros and Cons of Dating (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Beth deals with being a famous person's girlfriend, and Lola and Ronnie get to know each other better

Notes:

CW: Period-typical racism, some sexual content

 

i don't like this chapter very much, i feel that it's odd and it could come off as a bit white savior-y, though i have been told it doesn't. i guess it's a bit cringe to me, but i did want to show that it is 1972, and the world is still racist. i do like the end though.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 42: The Pros and Cons of Dating

 

Friday, July 14th, 1972, Long Beach, California



When Beth woke up, the first thing she noticed was that Scott wasn't there. She reached out to the other side of the bed and was surprised to find nothing. Sitting up and stretching, Beth opened her eyes and saw she was the only one in the bedroom.

"Scott?" Beth asked aloud, but there was no answer. 

Maybe he's already eating breakfast, Beth thought, as she got out of bed. She spotted a piece of paper on her nightstand that wasn't there the night before. She picked it up and saw it was a note in Scott's handwriting.

 

Hey, 

 

I had to leave early for a recording session today, but I'll be back before dinner. I’m also eating lunch with Peter, my manager.

 

Love you, Scott

 

Beth thought Scott’s handwriting was weird since he wrote lowercase letters as capitals, but she also found it cute since it showcased much of his personality. She put the note back on her nightstand and left the room. 

When she got to the kitchen, she saw Gloria, the housekeeper who came three times a week, washing dishes. It was odd paying someone to come over and clean up your house for you, but Beth enjoyed not having to do too many chores. 

"Good morning, Gloria," Beth greeted, coming into the kitchen

"Good morning, Miss McKittrick, your breakfast is in the dining room. It’s scrambled eggs and buttered toast," Gloria replied, smiling.

"Please, call me Beth," Beth insisted as she walked over to the dining room to eat breakfast. 

After finishing breakfast, Beth changed and decided she'd go shopping for herself and Scott today. Beth knew that they had extremely different fashion tastes, but Scott needed some nice suits anyway, he couldn't wear jeans and boots for every occasion, even though he insisted that he could. He'd thank her later. 

"Gloria, I'm going out, and if Scott comes home before I do, tell him I went shopping," Beth said as she grabbed her purse and sunglasses. 

Gloria nodded.

Beth left the house and got into the car Scott gave her for her 19th birthday. She never had her own car before and was shocked when Scott handed her the keys. Beth felt bad about basically leeching off of him, but Scott told her he didn't mind, and her presence made it all worthwhile. 

There were many shops near Long Beach, so Beth didn't have to drive for very long. It was nice being so close to so much, instead of having to drive for at least two hours before finding a chain store back home. Beth enjoyed being a city girl, it was much better than being from the middle of nowhere. 

She spent the morning shopping for Scott, buying dress shoes, suits, and button shirts he might like. All the chain stores were up to date with the latest styles, so it was hard for Beth to find clothes she liked. She had lunch and then continued shopping, now for herself.

If finding clothes she liked for Scott was hard, finding clothes she liked was even harder. The skirts were too short and tight, and she hated flare pants. Beth had no idea why her brother and boyfriend liked wearing so much. Scott told her it was because it looked great on the ass and boots, but she couldn't understand why people liked them so much, especially in all those odd colors and wacky patterns. 

Eventually, she found a store she liked and bought some shirts and shoes along with a floppy beach hat she thought was adorable. After paying, she decided to finish and go home, so she started to walk toward the mall's entrance. As she was walking she noticed someone staring at her, a camera in his hand. She eyed the man suspiciously but kept walking. 

As she got closer to the doors, she noticed more people with cameras around, and they were causally following. Beth gripped her shopping bags tighter and sped up her pace. As she reached out to open the door, the first man from earlier stepped in front of her. Beth tried to take a step back but saw the other people with cameras were right behind her.

"Excuse me, ma'am, are you here with Scott?" 

Beth's face paled as she tightened her grip on her shopping bags. "Sc-Scott?"

"Yes, your boyfriend, Scott Stern."

Beth swallowed. They knew who she was, and she had made a point of not attending public events with Scott because she didn't want something like this to happen, but still, here she was surrounded. 

"No-no, he's not here with me, can you please move now?" Beth asked, trying to mask her fear. 

She turned and tried to step away from the group but felt a flash from her side. They had just taken a picture of her! Beth wanted to react and slap them all, but she was afraid she'd hurt Scott's image and that they might press assault charges. Beth decided to leave calmly and find somewhere she could hide until they left her alone.

Beth took a deep breath and started to walk away from them and go to the other entrance, which was on the other side of the mall. They still followed her, so Beth started to look for somewhere to hide. She looked at stores that didn't have two entrances and hallways that led to somewhere. 

She was now near tears and was starting to realize she couldn't evade them. She turned her head briefly and saw they had stopped following her and were now talking to each other. This is my chance, Beth thought as she saw a random door and walked toward it. It was unlocked, so she opened it and stepped inside.

It was a janitor's closet, but it was pretty large, and there was no inside. She locked the door, and when Beth was sure she was alone, she sank to the floor and started crying. She prayed they'd be gone by the time she left the closet. 

 

Santa Monica, California

 

Ronnie and Lola met up three more times, and on the third time, he asked her out on a date. It wasn't like he had a crush on her, he just thought she was pretty and fun to be around. He wouldn't admit it, but Ronnie was lonely. It had been over a year since Nguyệt died, and although he wasn't really over her, he missed being intimate with a person. Ronnie also hadn't had sex in well over a year, and well, his hand wasn't doing the job. 

Lola accepted, and he took her to the Santa Monica pier. It was an hour and a half drive from his place, but Ronnie wanted to go somewhere interesting. Beth lived closer to Santa Monica, so Ronnie thought about popping in and saying hello, but he decided against it since they got into an argument about the importance of going to church the last time he was there. She was probably over it now, but Ronnie wasn't taking any chances.

"Isn't this really far from where you live?" Lola asked, eating pink and blue cotton candy.

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, but I don't mind, and all the fun stuff here is near the beach."

"I agree."

They were walking down the boardwalk, watching other people come by. It was a loud and bright place, but some parts of the pier smelled like piss. They had eaten hot dogs from a stand, and Lola was now enjoying cotton candy Ronnie bought her. 

"This is the first date I've been on since 1969," Ronnie mused, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Lola gave him a funky look. "Didn't you get married like a year later?"

"Yeah, but it was more of an oh-fuck-I-got-her-pregnant kind of marriage. I don't count eating dinner with her and a dozen other sweaty guys as a date."

Lola laughed. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh."

"It's okay, humor is a wonderful coping method," Ronnie replied, taking some of her cotton candy.

Lola sniggered. "You are so much more interesting than my last boyfriend."

Ronnie cocked a brow. "Am I your boyfriend now?"

Lola shrugged. "Not yet."

"What was your ex like?"

"Stiff."

Ronnie laughed. 

"You know, you've never told me exactly why you left Washington DC for Los Angeles."

Lola glanced at him. "I got fired." 

Ronnie was surprised. "How?"

"Well, I worked as a nurse in a government hospital, and I went protesting, and I got arrested at one of them, and when my boss caught wind of it, he fired me."

Ronnie shrugged. "Protests, as much as the right intention they have, people still die over there every day. It didn't do much shit until now."

"You've seen people die?"

Ronnie nodded. "I don't want to talk about it though."

Lola nodded. 

As they were walking, Ronnie saw a man in his 50s staring at them. He looked disgusted. Ronnie stared back.

"You got a fucking problem?"

Lola put her hand on his shoulder. "Ronnie, let's just go."

The man eyed Lola up and down. "You should listen to your Negro," the man jeered.

Lola glared at him. "Shut the fuck up, you bigot. It's 1972, grow up."

The man scoffed. "You're talking to me like that? What are you going to do?"

Ronnie took a step closer to the man. He lowered his voice and started talking quietly, so only the man could hear. "I've broken a few noses and jaws, and I'm not afraid to do it again. I spent nine months as a prisoner of war, do you think you fucking scare me? So, why don't you leave this beautiful young lady alone and go be an asshole somewhere else, or I'll report you for harassment." 

Ronnie stopped talking and smelled the man. "And intoxication in a public place," he said, nearly gagging on the stale liquor smell. 

The man glared at Ronnie but didn't do anything.

Ronnie smiled. "Glad we came to an understanding." He turned around and walked back toward Lola. "Let's go."

Lola nodded, and they both walked away from the scene. After walking silently for a few minutes, Lola stopped and looked at Ronnie. 

"No white guy's ever defended me before."

Ronnie scratched his head. "I may be a cracker, but I'm not a fucking asshole."

Lola laughed. "I’m kind of sad you didn't kick his ass, I would have joined you."

"You heard what I told him?"

Lola shook her head. "I'm assuming you threatened him."

"Well, I did."

Ronnie took Lola on the Ferris Wheel, and when they got off, they planned to leave. Lola had taken a taxi there so Ronnie offered to drive her home since it was on the way to his.

"Actually, I was thinking—well, hoping that I could come with you," Lola said, adjusting her earrings.

Ronnie looked at her. "You know I got a kid at home."

"I don't care," Lola retorted, opening the passenger seat of the car and sitting down.

Ronnie sighed and sat in the driver's seat. "It's a long drive, you sure?"

Lola was lighting a cigarette when he asked her. "We can't keep the babysitter waiting forever," she said, blowing out smoke.

The first half of the car was silent. They listened to music on the radio and shared the cigarette Lola was smoking, but they didn't talk. Ronnie was assuming that she wanted to have sex, but he wasn't exactly sure. He was partially worried he'd be really bad in bed since he hadn't done it in so long, and he'd scare her away. He felt like a virgin again, right before he and Jennifer lost their virginities to each other. 

The first time he had sex was on July 4th, 1966. Jennifer originally wanted to wait until she was 16, but that night they couldn't keep themselves off of each other, and Ronnie already had condoms he had bought out of anticipation. It wasn't that great if Ronnie was being honest, neither of them knew what they were doing, and it was hot in Ronnie's room. Everyone else was outside watching fireworks, so luckily, no one heard them. It got better over time, and by the time Ronnie was a senior, he and Jennifer had sex every week. It was a miracle no one ever walked in on them. 

When they were about 30 minutes away, Ronnie felt Lola put her hand on his lower thigh. She ran her hand up until she inches away from his crotch. He glanced at her.

"Ya know, the last person I had sex with is dead."

Lola took her hand off of his thigh and gave him a funky look. "When was the last time you had sex?"

Ronnie sighed. "February... 1971."

"Jesus, the longest I've gone without doing it since I’ve been sexually active is three weeks."

They both looked at each other for a second before they burst out laughing. 

When they arrived, Ronnie parked the car in his garage and asked Lola to wait until he paid the babysitter. He quickly ran inside, found the babysitter watching TV, paid her, and went to check on Benjamin.

He opened Benjamin's door and saw he was passed out. He smiled at his son before closing the door and going back to the kitchen. The babysitter was gone, and Lola was sitting on the counter. 

"What are you doing?" He asked, taking off his shoes. 

Lola got off the kitchen counter and walked up to him until their bodies were touching each other. It had been so long since Ronnie had this intimate with a woman, he almost sighed in relief. Then he remembered he didn't have any condoms, and Ronnie wasn’t planning on getting any more girls pregnant anytime soon.

"Shit, I don't have condoms."

Lola shrugged. "I'm on birth control, and I always keep some in my purse for emergencies."

"You do get around."

She playfully slapped his chest. "Shut up."

Ronnie smirked and leaned down until he and Lola's noses were touching. Ronnie closed his eyes and kissed her gently, wrapping his arms around her waist. Lola kissed him back, running her hands through his hair. It felt good to be touched like that.

"For a guy who hasn't had sex in seventeen months, you sure are a good kisser," Lola muttered.

Ronnie laughed and kissed her again, this time harsher, Lola responded and stuck her tongue in his mouth. Ronnie returned the favor. He could feel his pants tighten. Lola suddenly stopped and stepped back.

"Did I do something?"

Lola shook her head and grabbed her purse. "Condoms." She walked back over to Ronnie and grabbed his arm. "Where's your room?"

Ronnie nodded towards a smaller hallway next to the dining area. “Over there.”

 Lola nodded and dragged him toward his room. She opened his door and threw her purse on his bed. Lola yanked off her top and unhooked her bra. Ronnie stared at her breasts. They weren’t huge, but they were perky, and her nipples were hard. 

"You have great tits," Ronnie said, kicking his door shut and walking toward her.

"Thanks," Lola said, undoing Ronnie's belt and yanking off his pants and underwear. 

Notes:

Hey, y'all, thanks for reading. I have mocks for exams coming up so that's fun. Hope all of you are doing well :)

Chapter 43: Family (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie makes a call and has a reunion

Notes:

this is a short chapter but fluffy so take it as you will

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 43: Family

 

Late August 1972



"Okay Benjamin, what do you want for dinner?" Ronnie asked as he opened his front door.

Benjamin toddled in front of him and entered the house. "Food!"

Ronnie followed him and shut the door. "That's specific," he muttered, dropping his dirty mechanic jumpsuit on the floor.

Ronnie went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There wasn't much food, so Ronnie made a mental note to go to the store sometime soon. He saw he had some eggs and cherry tomatoes. "Well, eggs and tomatoes for dinner," he muttered, taking them out. 

Ronnie grabbed some of Benjamin's toys from his room and put them in the living room, so Ronnie could keep an eye on him while he made dinner. He put up the tomatoes in smaller pieces so Benjamin could eat them and cut up the now scrambled eggs for the same reason. 

"Here you go," he said, handing Benjamin his plate.

"Fanks," Benjamin replied, taking a bite of his food.

Ronnie smiled. "You're very welcome."

After eating, Ronnie bathed Benjamin and put him to bed. He was already half passed out as Ronnie was drying him, so he conked out as soon as his head touched the pillow. Benjamin was an easy baby, and for that, Ronnie was extremely grateful. 

It was only 7, so Ronnie looked at random stuff until he found himself looking at the box full of his photographs. He kept it under his bed, but he hadn't looked at them since March. Mary told him that Beth held on to them for a bit but gave them back so Benjamin could have them. 

He glanced at the ring around his neck and sighed. He took it off and held it and his dog tags in his hand. Ronnie carefully took off his dog tags and put them inside the box of memories. He put the chain back around his neck, now only holding the ring. 

"Look out Frodo, there's a new ring bearer in town," Ronnie muttered, picking up a photograph from his wedding day. 

It looked so innocent now, though Ronnie was sure at least 5 people in the picture now were dead. He stared at Nguyệt's smile. He'd never see that smile again in person. Ronnie wiped his face with his hands and sighed. He was now looking at Bian, his sister-in-law. He had no idea what the hell she was doing now.

Curious, Ronnie stood up and left the room, heading toward his phone. He dialed up Laurie and waited for him to pick up the phone.

"Hello? Vera?" Laurie asked, his voice in anticipation. 

"It's Ronnie."

Laurie sighed. "Oh, I thought you were a girl."

"Sorry, I know it's late over there."

“How are you?"

"Lola and I are dating now."

"Really?" Laurie asked, sounding quite surprised.

"Yeah, I guess I should be thanking you."

"You're welcome."

Ronnie chuckled. "Um, I actually called you because I wanted to ask if you keep in contact with anyone from Vietnam?"

"I mean, I regularly talk to Harry since he also works here, and I called Jake a month ago, and I called Basil two months ago. He married that Fatima girl."

Ronnie nodded. 

"What about Isaac?"

Laurie scoffed. "I know he ended up taking Bian here, and they planned on getting married," Laurie said, though he sounded a bit bitter. 

"Do you know where he is?"

"He's still in the army, so I can find out where he lives and his phone number."

"Seriously? Thanks, man."

"Is this about Bian?" Laurie asked

"Yeah," Ronnie admitted.

"Okay, I'll call you when I have the information." 

Ronnie nodded. "Okay, call me when you can, and if I'm not there, leave a message."

"Good night, Ronnie."

"Night, Laurie," Ronnie said as he hung up the phone. 

Laurie called the next day, but Ronnie was at work, so he left him a message. Ronnie played it while eating.

"Hey, so Isaac lives in Henderson now, it’s near Vegas, and his number is 702-1290-9766. Hope this helped for whatever you're plotting. Miss you."

Ronnie chuckled and replayed the message so he could write down the number. He then picked up the phone and punched in the numbers. The phone started ringing, so Ronnie set down his plate. He had no idea how this conversation was gonna go. 

"Who is this?" A woman's voice asked. She had an accent that Ronnie would recognize from anywhere.

"Bian? Is that you?" 

"Um, yes? You sound very familiar, do I know you?"

"It's Ronnie."

Bian laughed in shock. "Oh my god, Ronnie! Isaac, come over here, Ronnie's on the phone," Bian shouted.

Ronnie laughed. "It's good to hear your voice again."

"You too, how are you?"

"I'm good, I live outside of LA with Benjamin."

"How's my nephew?"

Ronnie looked over to his son, who was playing with his food. "Playing with his dinner instead of eating it. I can put him on the phone later."

Bian laughed. 

"How are you?" Ronnie asked.

"I'm better now, losing my sister was pretty hard, but I live here now, and I'm married. I think I'm very lucky."

"Good for you."

"I'm actually pregnant."

"Wow, Benjamin, you're gonna have a cousin soon," Ronnie said to Benjamin. Benjamin looked up after hearing his name but didn't say anything.

"And you'll be an uncle."

"I guess so."

"Here, let me hand the phone to Isaac," Bian said.

Ronnie could hear her hand the phone to someone else.

"How the hell did you get our number?" Isaac questioned, laughing.

"Laurie."

"Is he still bitter?"

Ronnie laughed and nodded. "Yeah."

Isaac laughed. "God, all that seems so long ago."

"It does. I'm glad it does."

"I feel the same way."

They both sighed, probably thinking about the war. 

"You know, Henderson isn't that far from LA, and Labor Day weekend's coming up. Would you and Bian like to come down? You can meet my sister and her boyfriend."

"Thanks, I-I'd love that, man," Isaac said, sounding quite sincere. 

"Me too."

 

Saturday, September 2nd, 1972

 

"Do you know when they're arriving?" Beth asked, sitting down on the couch.

Ronnie shook his head. "No, but Isaac said before 5."

"Well, it's 5:23," Scott muttered, glancing at his wristwatch. 

"You guys are impatient." 

“Isaac’s last name is Rosenberg, right?” Beth questioned, stretching her arms.

Ronnie nodded.

“So, he’s Jewish?” Scott asked.

“Yep.”

Beth raised a brow. “He doesn't look Jewish. I saw his picture. He has reddish-brown hair.”

Scott glanced at Beth. “That’s ignorant.”

“I don’t mean like that,” Beth replied defensively.

“His mother, who is a ginger, was raised Lutheran or something, and she converted when she married his father,” Ronnie explained. “That’s what I think he told me, but I don’t remember the exact details.”

Beth nodded. “Do you know if Bian converted to Judaism?”

Ronnie shook his head. “I know she was raised Buddhist, and Nguyệt didn’t bother converting when she married me, so I doubt it. We can always ask.”

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. 

Ronnie shot a look at Beth and Scott as he went to the door. “Speak of the devil,” he said, opening it. Standing there, was Isaac and a pregnant Bian. 

"God, how are you?" Isaac said, grabbing Ronnie into a hug.

Ronnie hugged him back. "Tired, you?"

"We got lost on the way. You need to live somewhere easier to find."

Ronnie laughed and glanced at Bian. "When are you due? You never told me."

Bian rubbed her belly. "I'll be five months next week. The baby's due in January."

"You guys nervous?"

Isaac nodded. "Extremely." 

"C'mon, I should introduce you to my sister and her boyfriend," Ronnie said, gesturing to them inside. 

Bian stepped inside but Isaac took a step back and looked at Scott's car in the driveway. 

"Is that yours?"

Ronnie shook his head. "God, I wish."

"Sister's boyfriend's?"

"Yup."

Isaac nodded and stepped inside the house. Bian was shaking hands with Beth while Scott smiled at her. 

"Beth, Scott, this is my sister-in-law Bian and her husband Isaac Rosenberg.” He turned to Isaac and Bian. “Uh, this is my sister Beth and her boyfriend Scott Stern."

Scott shook Isaac's hand. "Nice to meet you."

Isaac nodded. "You too. You have the same name as that singer."

Scott chuckled. "I am that singer."

Isaac's eyes widened. "You're shitting me." He glanced at Ronnie. "He's shitting me, right?"

"Nope, I've seen his Grammy."

"Wait, you're really Scott Stern?" Bian asked.

Scott nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Wow." Bian looked at Beth. "You're very lucky."

Beth blushed. "Thanks."

Bian turned back to Ronnie. "Where's Benjamin? I want to see him."

"He's in his room. Beth, do you mind grabbing him?"

Beth shook her head. "No, not at all. I'll be right back," Beth said, leaving the room. 

Isaac looked at Scott. "Aren't you releasing an album soon?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, later this month, but honestly, I like my previous album more."

"Don't worry about that, you'll probably make even more money whether it's good or not."

Scott cocked his head. "True."

Beth came back into the room holding Benjamin. She set him down on the floor, and he walked over to Ronnie, laughing. 

“Daddy!" He shouted, grabbing Ronnie's legs.

Ronnie ruffled his son's hair and looked at Bian, whose eyes were wide and lips trembling. Bian crouched down to Benjamin's level and took his hand.

"Hello, Benjamin. I'm your Bian."

Benjamin looked away from Ronnie's legs and at Bian. He smiled at her. "Hi."

Bian smiled, though her eyes had started to tear up. "It's been a very long time since I've seen you, but you still look like your Mama, who loved you very much," Bian said, speaking in Vietnamese.

"You okay?" Ronnie asked.

Bian nodded and stood up. "I am now." She wiped her face and laughed nervously. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to bring all my emotions."

Beth patted her shoulder. "It's okay. Let's have dinner, Ronnie can actually cook a pretty decent steak."

Everyone laughed, but Ronnie, who scowled.

"Shut up, Miss Gold Digger," Ronnie mumbled under his breath. 

"What'd just you call me?"

"Nothing."

She walked away with Bian and Benjamin, who followed them, leaving the guys behind. 

"I heard you," Scott muttered, biting his lip.

"Me too," Isaac said.

The three of them looked at each other, bursting out laughing. 

"What are you guys laughing about?" Beth asked from the table, but she only got laughter as an answer.

It wasn't even that funny, but there they were, laughing. This weekend was going to be fun. 

Notes:

hope everyone is doing well :)

 

For Context

Dí: Aunt in Vietnamese

Chapter 44: Her Again (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

Scott and Ronnie hang out. Ronnie has a nightmare that seems too real

Notes:

CW: Distressing content, mention of past traumas, slight period-typical internalized misogyny/sexism

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 44: Her Again

 

Early October 1972



In mid-September, Scott released his sophomore album, 21, named after his current age. It debuted at 20 on the Billboard charts, but now it had held the number 4 spot for a couple of weeks. He went on a minor press tour for it, only playing a few shows. He had just returned to LA and was enjoying his ever-increasing fame.

Ronnie, on the other hand, was not doing that great. When he had moved to Running Springs, his nightmares actually got better, and he was able to sleep the whole night without a bad dream. But sometime in August, they had returned, and they had gotten worse. He slept less now, but he had dealt with insomnia before, so it wasn't the worst thing ever. It was still better than war dreams filled with people you love dying and being tortured.

Scott had once complained to him about his own problems with sleeping, so sometimes, they would talk to each other on the phone late, keeping each other company. It was nice having someone to talk to late at night who understood your problems. Lola tried to, but it was nearly impossible to wake her up once she passed out. He knew Scott was in Fontana for a meeting, which was closer to Running Springs than Long Beach, so Ronnie invited him over for pizza and late-night television. 

"God, I love fucking pizza," Scott said, taking another slice of pepperoni out of the box.

Ronnie nodded and took a sip from his beer. "Me too." He had already eaten a whole box and was still hungry, but he just drank beer and smoked instead. He tapped his cigarette in the ashtray next to him and inhaled its toxic fumes. 

Scott was also smoking, alternating between taking a bit of his pizza and taking in a puff of his cigarette. "I love Elizabeth, but she's such a bitch when it comes to smoking. She won't let me do it in the house and won't kiss me until I use mouthwash."

Ronnie laughed and set his beer down. "Mom's the same way. Other than their eyes, Beth's a younger clone of my mom. It's creepy."

Scott nodded. "Like, I know it's bad for me, but I don't fucking care."

"Exactly, like why do you think I do it? I’m glad Lola isn’t up in my ass about it, but then again, she smokes too, so that’d make her a hypocrite."

Scott laughed. He then set down his pizza crust and put out his cigarette. "Hey, I got a serious question to ask."

Ronnie put out his own cigarette and got up to turn off the TV. When he finished, he sat back down in his spot and glanced at Scott. "Shoot."

"I'm thinking... I'm thinking about proposing to Elizabeth before the end of the year. I've already bought the ring, and I got permission from Mary, but I want to hear your approval."

Ronnie was quiet. He looked at Scott and sighed. "Do you love her?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Ronnie shrugged. "Well, as long as I'm invited to the bachelor's party, I don't care."

Scott laughed. He then looked at Ronnie quite sincerely. "Thank you."

Ronnie nodded. “You’re one of the best things ever to happen to her. You both deserve happiness. He then looked at the various empty beer bottles on the coffee table. "Do you wanna stay overnight? I don't think it'd be safe to drive after all those beers."

Scott nodded. "Thanks, I probably should call Elizabeth. She'll get mad at me if I don't call."

"Go ahead," Ronnie said, moving the ashtray from the couch back to the coffee table. 

Scott stood up and walked to Ronnie's phone. He called Beth, who just chided him about drinking too much and blah blah blah, but Scott was too tipsy to take it to heart. "Good night, Elizabeth," Scott said before hanging up the phone. 

Ronnie laughed. "You accidentally turned on my speakerphone. I heard the whole conversation."

Scott shrugged and rubbed his eyes. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not driving home then."

“How come you call Beth her full name, even when she’s not around?” Ronnie asked.

Scott shrugged. “I don’t know, I think it annoys her, but I like calling people by their given names.”

“Why don’t you call me Ronald?”

“Two reasons. One, I know you hate your name and you can kick my ass easily, and two, I wouldn’t go by Ronald either.”

Ronnie laughed. “I’m glad we both think I have an ugly name.”

“You have an old person’s name.”

Ronnie nodded. “That too. Wait, isn’t your brother’s name Charlie? Wouldn’t that be short for Charles?”

Scott shook his head. “No it's Charlie, They wanted to name him after my Grandma Charlotte, who went by Charlie.”

Ronnie nodded. “Interesting.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Scott muttered.

"C'mon, I'll show you the guest room," Ronnie said, changing the subject and standing up from the couch.

“Lead the way,” Scott replied.

The guest bedroom was in the same hallway as the bathroom and Benjamin's room. It was the smallest bedroom, but since Scott was only staying the night, Ronnie doubted that he cared. 

"If you need anything, just yell or knock on my door. I'll probably be awake, and Benjamin sleeps through everything except sunlight."

Scott chuckled. "Good night."

"Good night, man." 

Ronnie left the hall and went to his room. He stripped out of his clothes and turned on the shower. He took a quick one since his hot water wasn't working, and Ronnie couldn't stand cold showers. It reminded him of his wonderful time as a prisoner of war. It was hard enough even taking hot showers. He changed into a t-shirt and grey sweatpants before crawling into his bed and laying down under his covers. 

He sighed deeply and stared at his ceiling. "Time to relive Vietnam all over again," he muttered, closing his eyes and turning to his side. 

The dream started differently than his usual ones. Ronnie found himself not in Vietnam, but a local river near his house. He was standing in the water, knee-deep, watching Nguyệt, who was further in. She was wearing a coral-colored bikini, and her hair was styled in wavy curls.

"How do you like California?" Ronnie asked. 

"It's beautiful," she replied, but Ronnie noticed she was speaking with no accent like she was American, not Vietnamese. 

Ronnie smiled. “Wait till you see the mountains up close, the snow makes it look like a painting.

Nguyệt laughed. “I hope so.”

Ronnie blinked, but when he opened them, he saw Nguyệt was now covered in blood and tattered clothes. She slowly started walking towards Ronnie. Ronnie stepped back and kept walking until he was at the bank of the river. 

"You left me like this. You watched as they beat, raped, and killed me, and yet, you did nothing. You’re the reason why our son is motherless, you’re the reason why I’m dead. And now you’re fucking that black girl? Was our time together meaningless to you now? You should be dead, not me, I hope you burn in fucking hell, Ronnie McKittrick," Nguyệt cried, grabbing Ronnie's wrist. Her touch was ice cold.

Ronnie woke up immediately, gasping for air. He sat up in his bed and rubbed his face, wiping the tears off. Ronnie then reached out for his lamp and turned it on. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths while getting out of his bed. 

"It was just a dream, it was just a dream, calm down, it was just a dream," Ronnie whispered to himself.

He slowly opened his eyes and froze when he looked at the corner. A woman was kneeling, her back turned away from Ronnie. Next to her was a woven basket filled with clothes. She seemed to be taking clothes out and washing them in water, but Ronnie couldn't see the water. 

“Hello?” Ronnie asked, a pit forming in his stomach.

She didn’t respond and continued washing clothes.

“Who are you?”

The woman still didn’t respond, so Ronnie assumed that she couldn’t hear him. 

She finally glanced up briefly, and Ronnie saw it was Nguyệt. He stumbled back in shock, knocking down his lamp on the nightstand. It fell to the floor and shattered. Ronnie's breathing started to speed up again as he slid to the floor. His heart was pounding so hard, Ronnie thought it was going to come out of his chest.

The door creaked, and Ronnie saw Scott poke his head in. "Hey, I heard a shat- holy shit, are you okay?" Scott opened the door fully, turned on the light, and walked into the room.

Ronnie, who managed to regain some sense after Scott walked in, started taking deep breaths to slow down his breathing. He looked up at Scott, who had a concerned look on his face. He nodded and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I-I just had a dream that seemed a little too real."

Scott nodded and sat down next to him. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ronnie shook his head. "No." He glanced back where he saw Nguyệt. She was gone, basket and all. He sighed deeply and looked at Scott. "What are you doing up?"

Scott shrugged. "I couldn't sleep, so I was pacing around in the living room when I heard a crash."

Ronnie glanced at his now broken lamp. "I'll clean it up in the morning."

Scott swallowed. "It looked like you had just seen a ghost, are you sure you're okay?"

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Did it have something to do with Vietnam?"

Ronnie turned his head and looked at Scott. he nodded silently and grabbed the ring around his neck. He wouldn't tear up now, not in front of Scott, he wasn't a pussy.

Scott gave Ronnie another concerned look. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and a lighter. He pulled one out from his pack and shoved the box back into his pocket. He put one in his mouth and handed the other one to Ronnie. Ronnie took it and put it in his own mouth. 

Scott lit his cigarette first and then leaned toward Ronnie to light his cigarette, their faces almost touching. Scott put his lighter back in his pocket and leaned back into the side of Ronnie's bed. Ronnie took a puff of smoke and blew it out slowly, watching the smoke disappear after a few seconds. He leaned his head back as well and sighed, watching as he and Scott continued to smoke in his room silently. 

Notes:

end was a bit fruity ngl

Chapter 45: Lolasgiving (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

AHHHH 1K HITS THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

 

Upon learning he can't go home for Thanksgiving, Ronnie invites Lola over

Notes:

CW: Mentions of past trauma, sexual content

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 45: Lolasgiving

 

Late November 1972



It was that time of year again. Back-to-back holidays where everyone gained 20 pounds from eating. Beth and Scott were going to Nebraska for Thanksgiving, a pretty big deal for Scott since it was his first time not eating Thanksgiving dinner with his parents. Ronnie was looking forward to seeing his mother and sister again after 7 months. 

Well, Ronnie was looking forward to Thanksgiving until he was informed he had to work Thanksgiving week and would only be given Thursday off, which meant he couldn't go down to Nebraska. Luckily, he hadn't bought plane tickets yet, but it would still be hard to break the news to Mary. Eventually, Ronnie got around to calling her.

"Hey, Mom."

"Ronnie, baby, how are you? You haven't called in over a month," Mary said chidingly.

"Sorry, I've been busy with work and life."

"I hope you're calling to request deserts."

Ronnie chuckled and sighed. "I wish."

"What happened?"

"Work did. I can't get off Wednesday, They're only letting me off Thursday since it's a national holiday. But the point is, I can't come, Mom."

"But maybe you can fly on Thursday and spend the weekend."

Ronnie sighed. "I promise I'll be there for Christmas, okay?"

Mary sniffed. "I just miss you and Benjamin so much."

"I know."

"Wait, maybe Beth could bring Benjamin, and that way he could spend Thanksgiving with us."

 "I don't want to burden Beth and Scott-"

"Please, baby?" 

Ronnie sighed. "Okay, Mom. I'll call Beth right now and ask her."

Ronnie hung up the phone and dialed Beth's number. 

"Hello?" Beth asked. 

"Hey, it's Ronnie. Mom was wondering if you could bring Benjamin since I can’t go down home. I'll pay for him."

"You can't come?"

Ronnie shook his head. "I got work."

Beth sighed. "Um, I'll have to ask Scott, but I'd love to."

"You don't have to, you know, this is just to appease Mom."

"HEY SCOTT! RONNIE CAN'T COME TO NEBRASKA, BUT MOM STILL WANTS TO SEE BENJAMIN! CAN WE TAKE HIM WITH US? RONNIE WILL PAY FOR IT!" Beth screamed.

Ronnie winced. "Thanks for the warning," he muttered. 

"Sorry," Beth replied.

Ronnie heard a muffled answer from Scott, and Beth cheered.

"He said yes?"

"He did."

"Okay.”

“I'll pick him up on Tuesday."

"Thanks, Beth."

"Anything for my little nephew."

Ronnie smiled. "I gotta call Mom back."

"Bye, Ronnie," Beth said, hanging up the phone.

Ronnie redialed his mother's number, who answered him almost immediately. 

"What did Beth say?" Mary asked eagerly.

"She'll bring him."

"Oh, thank you, baby."

"Don't thank me, thank Beth and Scott."

"I'll call you when they arrive."

"Okay, Mom. Bye," Ronnie said, hanging up the phone. Benjamin was going to Nebraska, and Ronnie wasn't.

On the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week, Beth picked up Benjamin. She came around 8, just as Ronnie was leaving for work. Ronnie said his goodbyes and watched Beth drive away with his son. He trusted her, but he felt partially guilty letting Benjamin go without him. 

He's going to his Grandma's house, he'll be fine, Ronnie consoled himself, but he was probably more worried about himself than Benjamin. It was the first time since Ronnie was discharged that he was alone. there was usually at least one other person with him, but now. He was alone in his old house near the mountains. 

He wasn't stupid enough to not realize it was clear symptoms of shell shock, but he didn't want it to be shell shock. He wasn't crazy. If he went to a doctor about those problems, he was worried that something could happen to him or Benjamin. He had other symptoms too. He couldn't take baths, he started panicking when he felt his throat close up, and he couldn't go underwater. It had taken him almost 6 months to be able to shower without panicking. He had tried to go to the local community pool, but just being near all that water made him shake. He was fucking afraid of water. He hadn't told anyone about it either. He thought it was stupid. 

The only person he knew that would slightly understand what he was going through was Bobby, and Ronnie had no idea where was, he hadn't seen him since he got discharged. He and Laurie weren't as close as they used to be, but Ronnie knew that was normal for most childhood friendships. Maybe if they lived in the same area again, it'd be different, but they were both adults, and they had to grow up.

When Ronnie got home from work Wednesday evening, he realized something. Not only was he going to be alone for Thanksgiving, but he was also going to have a really lame dinner too. He ended up deciding to call Lola and see if she wanted to have dinner with him.

"Hey, it's Ronnie."

"What's up?" Lola asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for Thanksgiving dinner. It'd be a lame one, but we can do other stuff."

"I thought you were going to your mom's."

Ronnie shook his head. "No, work's a bitch, sadly. My sister ended up taking Benjamin with her, so it's just me."

Lola blew air through her nose. "You're gonna be alone on Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah, why do you think I called you?"

"Well, I'm about to leave for my parents' house in a few minutes."

Ronnie sighed. "Oh," he said, trying to hide his disappointment. "Well, Happy Thanksgiving."

"Oh, quit with the puppy dog tears, I'd rather spend it with you. I'll see you in an hour," Lola said, abruptly hanging up.

Ronnie set the phone down and laughed. He wasn't going to be alone after all. 

The doorbell rang an hour later. Ronnie opened it to see Lola, who was holding a small duffle bag in her hands. She walked in and tossed her bag on the couch. 

"I'm here for your little slumber party."

Ronnie walked over to her and grabbed her ass. "Really? I couldn't tell."

Lola laughed and stood on her toes to kiss him. Ronnie kissed her back and grabbed the backside of her lower thighs. Lola jumped and swung her legs around Ronnie, all while slipping her tongue in his mouth. Ronnie wrapped his arms around her and carried her to his bedroom. 

 

***

 

Lola looked at Ronnie, who was laying on his bed, feet on his pillow. She crawled over to him and laid next to him. "That was fun."

Ronnie chuckled and leaned over to kiss Lola's cheek. "Yes, it was."

"You know, I could go for another round."

Ronnie looked at her. "Well, unless my dick magically forms another boner, I doubt that's happening. We've already done it twice tonight, anyway."

"Three times the charm."

Ronnie laughed and sat up. "You're seriously not tired?"

Lola crawled onto his lap and wrapped her legs around his waist. "One time I did it five times in one night."

"Jesus."

Lola started kissing his neck. He felt her run her hand through his hair, and with her other hand, trace down his stomach until she got to his now limp cock. She grabbed it and squeezed, causing Ronnie to groan. He leaned forward into her ear.

"Are you trying to make me hard again?"

Lola looked up from his neck. "Maybe." She tightened her grip.

"I'll make you deal. I'll do whatever you want later, we can have sex in my kitchen or on the couch. Benjamin's not here, what's stopping us?"

Lola let go of him and leaned back. "Deal."

Ronnie stretched his arms and grabbed his watch from the floor. "It's 4 in the morning."

Lola nodded and stood up. "I'm gonna shower."

"Can I join you?"

Lola smirked. "Please."

Later, he and Lola sat on the couch and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Ronnie was just wearing his underwear, and Lola was only wearing his shirt and underwear. They were wrapped in an old patchwork quilt Mary had made many years ago.

"You know, Scott was supposed to be in the parade, but he canceled because he wanted to spend Thanksgiving with my sister in Nebraska," Ronnie said as they watched Rick Springfield perform. 

"How romantic."

"I know," Ronnie said, making a gagging face. 

Lola laughed. "When am I gonna meet your sister and her famous boyfriend?"

Ronnie shrugged.

"I still can't believe your sister is dating Scott Stern."

"She scored the jackpot."

Lola turned to Ronnie. "Why can't you be rich and famous? You're good-looking, and you can use pity points."

Ronnie laughed. "I can't sing worth a shit."

"Can you act?"

He shrugged. "I did drama in high school because I didn’t wanna do art or band, but I never got above 87."

"Are you good at anything then?"

Ronnie looked at her with a straight face. "Sex."

"Are you sure about that?" Lola asked.

Ronnie threw a pillow at her in response. "Shut up."

Lola chuckled and got up from the couch. "I'm gonna go use the bathroom."

Ronnie nodded. "Don't fall in."

Lola smirked. "I'll try not to." 

Lola walked away, leaving Ronnie alone in the living room. He stretched his arms and cracked his neck, turning it from side to side. When he turned his head to the left, he saw Nguyệt on the floor, now folding clothes. He hadn't seen her since that day in October, but he didn't have the same reaction. He just stared at her. 

She didn't seem to pay any notice, it was like she was in a different world, and Ronnie was just given a glimpse. She was wearing different clothes than the last time she appeared, and her hair was now damp. She picked a piece of clothing, folded it, and put it in a pile next to her over and over again. It was almost memorizing. 

"What are you staring at?" Lola asked, coming back from the bathroom. 

Ronnie shook his head and blinked hard. "Nothing."

Lola shrugged and curled up next to him. She got back under the blankets and leaned her head on Ronnie's shoulder. "Happy Thanksgiving."

Ronnie leaned back into the couch. "You too."

 

Notes:

I'm taking my SAT on Saturday sob. Then after that, there's the school play which I'm in, and we're doing shows on the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday after. I am stressed. 👍🏻 #firstworldproblems Hope everyone is great :)

For Context

Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade: To my non-Americans, it's basically a giant parade hosted by the Macy's Department store, and it's the second-oldest Thanksgiving parade if I'm not mistaken.

Rick Springfield: Australian-American musician and actor. Y'all know Jesse's Girl? That's him. And yeah, I looked up the lineup for that year, so this is accurate (historical skills slay)

Chapter 46: Christmas Proposal (Vol I, Part V)

Summary:

The McKittricks spend the holiday together. Beth is in for a big surprise.

 

end of part 5!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 46: Christmas Proposal

 

Sunday, December 24th, 1972, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



"What time is Ronnie supposed to arrive?" Beth asked, pulling the Christmas cookies out of the oven.

"He said his flight would arrive in Kansas City at 12, and he would bring Elieen too, so I think he should be here in the next 20 minutes," Mary replied, peeling potatoes. 

Beth and Scott had arrived two days earlier so Beth could help her mother with the Christmas Eve party later that evening. It was just family, but Mr. I-have-the-stomach-of-an-elephant (Ronnie) was coming, so she and Mary had been in the kitchen for the past two days, cooking. Scott was saddled with keeping an eye on Shannon. 

His folks were upset about him missing Thanksgiving, so he and Beth would spend the New Year with William and Claire. Besides, Beth and Scott had spent Christmas with them last year. Charlie and Lenora had a son in September of last year, and Beth was excited about meeting him, (Lenora had been sick last Christmas.) though she wasn't too crazy about the name they picked out for him: Kyle Jason. Apparently, it was the name of Lenora's godfather, so Beth decided she wouldn't say anything about it. She wasn’t going to anyway, she wasn’t an asshole.

That didn't stop Scott though. When Charlie had called to inform the good news, Scott had laughed and said, "Seriously? You named him Kyle?" Scott later told Beth that when he and Charlie were kids, they knew this kid named Kyle who fell asleep while driving and ended up crashing his dad’s car in a lake. He was fine, but his dad's Corvette and 20,000 worth of cash Kyle had stolen weren't. Afterward, William would tell Charlie and Scott if he wanted to raise dumbasses with no brains, he'd name them Kyle. Beth guessed that he wouldn't be saying that now. 

Beth set the tray on the stove to cool down and took off her apron. "All we need to do is decorate the cookies, and we'll be done?"

Mary nodded. "Yes, these potatoes are for tomorrow." 

"Okay, then I'm gonna take a quick break. I'll be back in 5."

"Enjoy yourself, it's Christmas Eve." 

Beth smiled at her mother and walked away. She put on her jacket and went to the front yard, where Scott was having a snowball fight with Shannon. She opened the front door expecting to hear shouting but instead found Shannon sitting on the porch, eating a bar of chocolate. Further up, Scott was smoking a cigarette.

"Scott!" Beth shouted, putting her hands on her hips.

Scott looked up and his eyes widened. He threw his cigarette in the snow and slowly walked up to Beth and Shannon. "Hey," he said quietly.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Scott glanced at Shannon and scowled. "I thought you were my lookout. Why do you think I gave the chocolate?"

Shannon shrugged. "She was too fast."

"You bribed a 10 year old?"

Scott smirked. "Maybe."

Beth couldn't help but smile. "You're insane, I swear."

Scott flashed a grin. "Only slightly."

As they were talking, a car pulled up and honked at them. Scott and Beth turned and saw Ronnie stick his head out the driver's window. He gave them a shit-eating grin. 

"Howdy."

"Howdy yourself," Beth replied, jogging over to greet him. 

The backdoor opened, and a woman in her mid-50s with greyish blonde hair stepped out of the car. Aunt Eileen. She looked at Beth and smiled warmly.

"Oh, my baby girl, you've gotten so big," she said, roping her into a hug. She had an accent similar to Mary’s.

"Aunt Eileen, you literally saw me a month ago," Beth replied, hugging her back.

Eileen smiled. She then turned her attention to Scott, who reluctantly walked over. She put her hands on her hips. "Where's my hug, mister?"

Scott rolled his eyes and hugged Eileen. On the other side of the car, Ronnie was helping a young black woman get out of the car, who Beth assumed was Lola, his new girlfriend. Lola was holding Benjamin, who was passed out. Beth walked over to them to see if they needed help.

"Do you guys need help?" Beth asked.

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, can someone take Benjamin inside?" He then glanced at Lola, who was looking at him impatiently. "Oh, Beth, this is Lola, Lola, this is my sister Beth."

Beth smiled. "Nice to finally meet you."

Lola nodded. "I'd shake your hand, but they're kind of full right now."

"Oh, c'mon, I'll introduce you to Mom and show you where to put Benjamin for now."

Lola nodded. 

Beth looked over to Scott, who was still talking to Eileen. "Hey, come over here and help Ronnie with the bags!"

Scott looked up and gave a thumbs-up before walking over. Beth watched as Lola's eyes widened as Scott got closer. Lola caught Beth looking at her, so she smiled and shook her head.

"What can I say, there's a literal fuckin’ celebrity getting my bags out of the car."

Beth chuckled. "I'll introduce you to Scott properly later. Let's get out of the cold."

Lola nodded. "Agreed."

The girl walked toward the house and inside since the front door was open. Beth closed it and saw her mother was talking to Eileen. Mary heard the girls walk and turned towards them. She walked over and smiled.

"You must be Lola," Mary said, wiping her hands on her apron.

Lola nodded. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."

"Please, call me Mary," Mary insisted. 

Lola smiled. "Where do I put Benjamin?"

"Oh, just on the couch. Let me take him from you," Mary said, taking Benjamin from Lola. She placed him on the couch and covered him with a blanket. 

The front door opened again and Eileen walked in with Shannon. Behind her, Ronnie and Scott walked in holding several large suitcases. They set them down and sighed. 

"That's everything," Scott muttered. 

Ronnie stood back up and opened the front door again. "I'll check that the car's locked and we didn't leave the trunk open."

Mary walked over to her son and kissed his cheek. "I've missed you."

Ronnie smiled as he walked back outside. "Me too."

Beth watched as Mary greeted her sister Eileen, and they started speaking in Irish. Beth could understand Irish to a certain point, but she couldn't speak it fluently, much less read or write in it. The joys of coming from a very pro-Ireland family. Scott waltzed over to her and kissed the top of her head. 

"Hello."

Beth smiled and leaned back into his chest. "Hello yourself."

"Do you know what they're saying? They're speaking Irish, right?" Scott asked.

Beth nodded. "Kind of. I think they're talking about Ronnie and Lola."

"Nothing bad I hope," Lola muttered, walking up to them.

Beth shook her head. "It's mainly about Ronnie. I think Mom just called you pretty."

Lola smiled. "Can Ronnie speak Irish?"

The front door opened and Ronnie walked back in. He looked at his mother and aunt and told them something in Irish.

"There's your answer," Beth mused. 

"I didn't know you could speak Irish," Lola said, crossing her arms.

Ronnie shrugged. "Mom used to speak it a lot more when I was younger, and my father used to make me read in Irish. Both of them were really pro-Ireland and insisted that I learn the language. My father’s a nationalist."

"Why'd they leave Ireland then?" Scott asked.

"My father was in the IRA and got in trouble with the governments of both Ireland and the UK, so they fled here because Eileen, who's my mom's older sister, already lived here."

"Yikes," Lola muttered.

"How come you can't read or fluently speak Irish?" Scott asked Beth.

"Favoritism and laziness," Ronnie replied. “Dad liked his darling little girls far better than he liked me.”

Scott snorted. He then looked at Lola. "I've been told that you've wanted to meet me."

“I brought both of your records, and you're gonna sign them,” she replied firmly.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Lola, didn't you spend Thanksgiving with my brother?" Beth asked, wondering about her family.

Lola nodded. 

"Won't your folks be upset that you're not with them?"

Lola shrugged. "I don't really care."

Ronnie laughed. 

Beth was surprised. Did Lola not have a good relationship with her parents? 

Lola saw that Beth was staring at her and she shrugged. "My dad and I don't get along, I mean I try, but he is such a wet blanket. Don't worry, Beth, I'm going to see them for New Year's."

Beth nodded. "Is Ronnie coming with you?"

"No," Ronnie answered. 

"My parents will only meet my partner if marriage is seriously considered, and that's never happened with any of them. I'm in no rush to get married."

Ronnie nodded. "Same."

"You never told me what y'all did for Thanksgiving," Scott interjected, changing the subject.

Ronnie smirked. "Well, I don't think Beth wants to hear this, so cover your ears."

Beth glared at Ronnie.

Ronnie raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, I just think that the last thing you want to hear is about how your brother just had a lot of sex during Thanksgiving weekend."

Beth made a disgusted face. "You're gross."

Ronnie flashed a shit-eating grin. Both Lola and Scott were biting on their lips, trying not to smile. 

Annoyed, Beth decided to ask Mary when they were eating. That'd shut Ronnie up. "Mom, when are we eating?"

Mary looked up, still in deep conversation with Eileen. "Help me set up the tables and then we'll eat."

Beth nodded and left to go to the kitchen and help set up the table. Normally, they had a nice Christmas dinner with the fancy china, but this year, Mary decided to have more of a buffet-style dinner and save the fancy dinner for tomorrow. For tonight, Mary had made a simple chicken casserole, along with mashed potatoes, green beans, and buttered rolls. For the sweets, Beth made her Great-Grandma Maura’s Christmas cookies, and Mary had made some mince pies. 

Beth was looking forward to dinner tomorrow though. Her mother was making traditional Irish recipes, something she hadn't done since before Ronnie was drafted. It was hard to get some of the ingredients, but Eileen had brought some from Kansas City, so Mary wouldn't have to drive to a specialty grocery store. Beth had only been to Ireland once, which was when her grandmother Leanne died, but eating the food her mother made always made her feel like she grew up there.

Beth finished setting up the table with help from Lola. When they finished, both of them stepped back to admire their work. 

"It looks good," Lola said, a look of satisfaction on her face. 

Beth nodded. "Thanks for the help."

"Anytime," Lola replied, wiping her hands on her pants. "Where's the bathroom?"

Beth pointed at the door near the living room. "There."

Lola nodded and walked towards it. "Thanks."

Beth watched Lola open the door and close it. Her attention focused on her brother and Scott, who were talking to each other quietly next to the Christmas tree. Both of them had quite serious expressions on their faces. Beth was about to go over and ask what they were talking about but was interrupted by her aunt's voice.

"We're eating now, so everyone come get a plate and serve yourself."

Scott and Ronnie stopped talking and walked over to Beth. 

"What are you staring at?" Scott asked.

Beth shook her head. "Nothing."

"I probably should wake Benjamin up, so he can eat," Ronnie mumbled, going back to the living room. 

Scott and Beth went to the kitchen and grabbed a plate each. Scott piled food on his plate while Beth only put a little. If there was one person that could outeat Ronnie, it was Scott. Once, Beth had seen him scarf down 10 pancakes from IHOP. 

"Santa's coming tonight," Shannon exclaimed with a big smile, coming up to Beth.

Beth smiled. "Well, if you don't sleep, he won't come tonight."

Shannon sighed "I know, but I'm so excited that I don't know if I can even sleep."

"One year, I stayed up all night on Christmas Eve, and on Christmas morning, I ended up falling asleep while opening presents because I was so tired."

Shannon giggled. "Really?"

Beth nodded. "I think it was Christmas 1961. Ronnie made fun of me for it for a very long time."

"Are you telling her about the time you fell asleep opening Christmas presents, Sleeping Beauty?" Ronnie asked, scooping mashed potatoes onto his plate.

Beth glanced at Shannon, who giggled again. "Nevermind, he still makes fun of me for it."

"A Charlie Brown Christmas is on. I'll let everyone eat in the living room as long as you don't make a mess," Mary called from the living room. 

"I love that movie," Ronnie muttered, grabbing a fork and walking off to the living room.

"You're 22," Beth replied.

Ronnie didn't answer, but Beth heard Lola chuckle. Shannon ran off to the living room clutching her plate, thus Beth followed her. All the seats on the sofa were taken, so Beth had to sit on the floor. Mary had Benjamin on her lap, who was eating cut-up pieces of food with his hands. 

It was the first time in a long time that everyone was together for Christmas. This Christmas, no one was overseas in war, on a world tour, or alone. Her family was right here, and maybe in a few years, Lola and Ronnie would get around to getting married. Beth liked Lola. She matched the spunk that Ronnie had. She was surprised that Lola was 25, making her three years older than Ronnie, but she was glad her brother was seeing someone again. She had seen her mother when Ronald left, and even though she tried hiding it, Beth knew she struggled. It seemed like everything was happy and back to normal.

After finishing dinner and the movie, everyone ate dessert while Ronnie set up his room. Mary had set up a bed for Lola, but Beth doubted she'd use it. Scott didn't use his. Mary was still pretty uptight over certain things. She was angry at Beth for moving with Scott, but now it looked like she didn't care. As long as there were two beds in Beth's room. Eileen was sharing a room with Shannon, and Beth felt kind of bad since Shannon talked in her sleep. 

Scott helped Mary and Beth put away the food and do the dishes. When he finished, he dried his hands and whispered to Mary that Beth couldn't hear. Beth gave him an odd look, but Scott just mouthed it's fine and walked away. Mary then dried her hands.

“I'm gonna go make sure Shannon's showered and in bed, and I'll check on Ronnie, Lola, and Benjamin. Maybe I can convince Ronnie to come to church with us tomorrow.”

Beth sighed. "Good luck with that."

Mary smiled sadly. "I wish he would go without me having to force or bribe him."

Beth nodded. "Me too, but he is also the stubbornest person I have ever met or known."

Mary chuckled. "Yes, he is. As much as I hate to admit it, he is so much like his father. Maybe it was a curse naming him after Ronald."

Beth scoffed. "Well, you better not let Ronnie hear you say that."

Mary nodded and kissed Beth's cheek. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart," she said before walking up the stairs. 

Beth saw Scott come down the stairs, wearing his jacket and holding hers. Beth raised her brows at him. 

"Let's go outside," Scott said, tossing her jacket at her.

Beth caught it. "Why, it's freezing outside."

Scott smirked. "You'll see."

Beth sighed, but she put on her jacket and her boots. Scott grabbed her hand and led her to the backyard. The yard was covered in snow, and when Beth looked up, snow was falling from the sky. 

"It's snowing," Beth muttered.

Scott nodded and continued walking until they were in the center of the yard. He looked down at the ground and shoved his hands in his pocket. "You're probably wondering why we're out here," he began.

"I am, could you tell me?"

"I wanted to give you an early Christmas present."

Beth blushed. "Oh."

From his pocket, Scott pulled out a small box covered in red velvet. Beth gasped. She watched him get on one knee and open the velvet box, revealing the most beautiful ring Beth had ever seen. It was a silver band, with a large pear-shaped pink rubellite stone surrounded by small diamonds. It must have cost a fortune. 

"Elizabeth, will you marry me?" Scott asked, snow falling on his dirty blond hair.

"Ye-yes!" Beth cried, without a moment's hesitation. 

With a huge smile on his face, Scott slid the ring on Beth's finger. He stood back up, brushed the snow off his now wet pants, and kissed Beth's cheek. Beth wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest. She could hear his heart pounding. 

"I love you so much," Beth whispered, closing her eyes.

Scott rubbed her head gently. "Me too."

 

End of Part V

Notes:

I took my SAT yesterday... well I'm just glad it's done, but I doubt I got the score I wanted :( Tomorrow is the opening night of my school's play (we're doing Midsummer Nights Dream), and I quite excited but also really nervous.

 

For Context

IRA: Irish Republican Army --> a name used by various paramilitary organizations in Ireland throughout the 20th and the 21st centuries. Organizations going by this name have been dedicated to irredentism through Irish republicanism, the belief that all of Ireland should be an independent republic free from British rule. (Wiki)

Mince Pies: A mince pie is a sweet pie of English origin filled with mincemeat, a mixture of fruit and spices. It is traditionally served during the Christmas season. (Wiki) Almost all the main English-speaking countries eat this except us Americans. It's really good tho.

Chapter 47: The Wedding Planner (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Claire takes control of wedding plans, Scott is secretive

 

first chapter of part 6!

also last part of volume one!

Chapter Text

 

Part VI: Revelation

January 12th, 1973 - November 23rd, 1973

 

 

Chapter 47: The Wedding Planner

 

Friday, January 12th, 1973, Celestion Ranch, Texas



Beth had always wanted to have a spring wedding, but when Claire heard about the engagement, she immediately announced herself as the wedding planner. The date was set for February 10th, and the reception would be held at the ranch. Lenora had warned Beth that Claire would take over the planning, but Beth didn't realize it was this drastic. 

Scott joked that Claire probably started planning the wedding as soon as she met Beth, and honestly, Beth was starting to believe it. There was no way someone could do so much in under a month. Today they were working on the wedding party, invitations had been sent out three days before, so Beth would have to call the person to ask them to be in the wedding party.

"Scott said he wanted to have a small wedding party since the guest list is very high," Claire said, pushing up her glasses.

Beth nodded. "I agree."

"Scott wants Charlie to be the best man, and I believe Peter Church and William’s nephew John will be the other groomsmen. You've met Peter and John, right?"

Beth nodded. "I went on tour with Scott last year, remember?"

Claire’s eyes widened, and she hit her forehead. "Of course, I wasn't thinking."

"So, that means I'll have two bridesmaids and a maid of honor?"

Claire nodded. "I like having symmetry."

Beth nodded in agreement. "Well, I want Delilah, my oldest friend, to be the maid of honor, and I think I'll ask Lenora since we're about to be sisters, and my old work friend Lizzie."

Claire nodded. "What are Delilah and Lizzie’s last names? I'd like to write them down."

"Uh, Delilah Clark and Lizzie Sardera."

"Sardera's spelled S-A-R-D-E-R-A?"

Beth nodded. "Yes."

Claire scribbled down their names on her list. She set the pen and stretched her arms. "Excuse me, darling, I need to use the bathroom." 

Beth nodded as Claire stood up and left the room. When she was out of earshot, Beth sighed in relief. She was tired of talking about her wedding. Lenora, who was upstairs, came back down holding Kyle. She looked around the empty room.

"Is she gone?" 

Beth nodded.

Lenora pulled a chair and sat down. Kyle was babbling and sucking his thumb. Beth smiled at him. 

"Hello there."

"Say hello, Kyle," Lenora said, taking his thumb out of his mouth. 

Kyle glanced at his mother and back at Beth oddly, causing both women to laugh. 

"You should have seen when Charlie and I got married. I felt like I wasn't even participating in my own wedding," Lenora said, stretching her cheek.

"I'm honestly worried that she won't even let me wear the dress I already bought." 

Lenora snorted. 

"Actually, I was gonna ask you something."

"What?" 

"Well, we're gonna be sisters soon, and I've never had an older sister."

Lenora smiled. "You're really sweet."

Beth grinned back. "Thank you. I wanted to ask if you would like to be one of my bridesmaids?"

Lenora gasped lightly. "Really?"

Beth nodded. 

"God, you're so sweet. I'd love to."

Beth beamed. "Thank you." 

"I should be thanking you. I have no idea what Scott told you about me," Lenora said, pushing up her glasses.

Beth shrugged. "I mean, he mentioned that you were a hippie who did..." Beth said, wavering off towards the end.

"Drugs?" 

Beth felt a bit embarrassed, but she nodded.

Lemora rubbed her son's head. "I did, and I'm not ashamed of that. But when I first started dating Charlie, Scott hated me. I mean he used to swear in Spanish and sometimes in French at me because I couldn't understand it."

"Gosh, that's awful."

"I mean we get along fine now because we discovered we have similar taste in music, and when I let him come to Woodstock with Charlie and me, I was his new best friend," Lenora said, smiling. "You give him anything music-related, and he'll love you. I mean, he made a career of being a musician. Scott's ambitious, but he's also very stubborn. Those two traits usually don't mix well."

Beth nodded. "I agree. My brother is so much like Scott, it's creepy. I didn't really notice until they met each other for the first time. Except Scott's nicer than Ronnie. To me at least."

Lenora sighed. "Brothers will be brothers." She paused, turned Kyle around, and started speaking again. "Where is Scott exactly? I know he's not here, but what's he doing?"

"Oh, he's in LA right now. He's doing a photoshoot for Seventeen magazine."

Lenora laughed. "I used to read that."

"I did too. Weird to think my fiance's gonna be on the cover of it."

“Mhmm.”

After finalizing the wedding party and a bunch of other stuff Beth had no control over, She went to bed. Beth had been staying in one of the guestrooms of the house because she didn't want to sleep alone in Scott's room, plus his bed was too small. It felt awkward. The guest room also had a phone installed, so Beth could call people in private. 

She climbed into the bed and picked up the phone before dialing Ronnie’s number. The phone rang for about 15 seconds before he picked up.

"Hello?" Ronnie's voice asked.

"Hey, it's Beth." 

"Oh, how are you?"

"Scott's mother is crazy."

Ronnie laughed. "How?"

“She's basically taken over my wedding. The only things I've had a say in that she's accepted are the colors and choice of church. And that's probably only because the archdiocese already gave permission for Scott and me to have a Catholic wedding. And they let us push the waiting time to two months.”

“Money talks then," Ronnie muttered.

Beth scowled. “Oh, shut up.”

“Okay, okay. Let me guess, your colors are pink and... pink.”

Beth sniggered. “No, they're red, pink, and coral.”

"Isn't coral just pink-orange?"

Beth scoffed. "Shut up."

"You know I'm right."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you're not."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Moving on," Beth said harshly. "How's your life?"

"I had dinner at your house with Scott yesterday."

"Aren't you special?"

"I know. We drank beer and ate pizza."

Beth sighed. "Of course you guys did."

"Don't be jealous."

Beth rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I wonder, are you really 22?"

"I'll be 23 next month," Ronnie mused.

Beth paused. "I hate you," she said, causing Ronnie to laugh. 

"Sorry, I like messing with you. Seriously though, I'm thinking about getting a nanny or something. Daycare is getting too expensive. Of course, you probably can't relate to that problem, you’re getting married to a rock star."

"Oh, quit your pity party," Beth muttered, yawning.

"You tired?"

Beth nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, I'll let you go to bed. Good night."

"Good night, Ronnie," Beth replied, hanging up. She set the phone down and laid back on the bed before closing her eyes and passing out. 

Scott flew back to Dallas the next day. When Beth and Claire came home from the florist's shop, Scott was in the living room drinking coffee. He looked up and winked. 

"What took y'all so long? You missed lunch."

Beth walked over and sat next to him. "We ate lunch at a cafe after visiting the florist's shop."

Scott eyed his mother. "How is looking at flowers so time-consuming?"

"It takes time choosing the perfect flowers, Scott. They really make or break the wedding," Claire replied, setting down her purse. Her tone toward her son was icy.

Scott gave her a look. "Okay," he said slowly before turning his attention to Beth. "Wanna see the horses?"

Beth grinned from ear to ear. "I'd love to."

Scott downed his coffee and set the mug down on the coffee table. He stood up and cracked his knuckles. "Shall we, m’lady?" He asked, holding his hand out to Beth.

Beth smiled and took it, standing up. "We shall," she replied as they walked toward the front door. 

They went out to the grassy fields, where the horses were grazing. It was chilly, so all of them had a covering, a horse jacket, Scott called it. None of them were saddled, so they couldn’t ride them, but Scott jumped the fence and waltzed over to a brown and tan spotted horse. Beth eyed him.

"Are you sure we can do that?" She called out.

Scott cocked a brow. "Considering I've been doing this since I was 4, I'd say yes."

Beth sighed and swung her legs over the white painted fence. Her feet landed with a THUD, and she walked over to where Scott was standing. 

Scott was stroking the horse's mane. "This is Spotty."

"That's a terrible name."

Scott snorted. "I know it is. I was 6 when he was born, and my father let me name him."

"He's 15? He doesn't look old," Beth replied, staring at Spotty, who paid no attention to them. 

"Horses can live 25 to 30 years."

Beth nodded, impressed. "Is he your favorite?"

Scott shook his head. "Growing up, there was this completely black horse. His name was Orion. He was my favorite horse until my Dad had to shoot him. Orion had gotten bit by a rattlesnake and threw me off. I broke my arm and the scar on my back is from that. Dad shot him before the venom went too far."

Beth was silent. 

Scott rubbed his eye and looked down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make it depressing."

Beth smiled and shook her head. "It's fine, baby." Beth then pointed at the other horses. "Why don't you tell me about them?"

Scott nodded and gave her a grin. "Follow me," he said, walking to the horse closest to Spotty. 

Dinner was amazing. It was T-bone steak with mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. William had cooked the steak, he informed Beth, and the chef cooked the rest. Beth had only had T-bone steak once since it was expensive. It tasted better than she remembered. 

"This is amazing, William," Beth said, swallowing her last piece of steak.

William smiled and nodded. "Thank you, darling." He looked at his two sons. "Y'all could thank me too."

Charlie stared at his father. "Thank you, Daddy, for making the best steak in the whole wide world," he replied, extremely sarcastic. 

Scott snickered.

William rolled his eyes and turned back to Beth. "Would you like to hear about the time Scott first went to school?"

Beth nodded. "I'd love to."

"Don't," Scott said, his face turning into a scowl.

Lenora pushed her plate and leaned forward. "Oh, please do."

"On Scott's first day of kindergarten, he rode the school bus with Charlie, who was already in the third grade. When he got there, he started cryin', wanting to go home, so he climbed up the tree in the schoolyard, and the fire department had to be called to get him down."

"For the next two years, everyone called him Tree Cryer," Charlie added, taking a bite of mashed potatoes. 

Beth laughed along with Claire and Lenora. Scott just sat there, his arms crossed and his face slightly red. 

"I hate y'all," he mumbled under his breath.

William just chuckled in reply.

After eating, Beth and Scott sat in the living room with Lenora and Charlie, as William and Claire had gone to bed. They were playing rummy, a card game that Scott had taught her how to play. Charlie was quite good or just very lucky at the game, so he kept winning. Eventually, Scott got annoyed and threw down his cards.

"Christ, man, I give up," he said, leaning back into the couch.

Charlie laughed. "Now, don't be a sore loser."

Scott groaned in reply. "I'm tired, not a sore loser."

Charlie shrugged as Lenora grabbed all the cards and put them back in their box. "Okay, Tired."

Both Lenora and Beth snickered. 

Lenora went up first to check on Kyle, leaving the three of them alone. Beth hugged Charlie good night, but for Scott, Charlie slapped him on the back loudly.

"Your wedding's coming up, less than a month away. Don't pull a Jose."

Scott was visibly upset by this. "Shut the fuck up," he replied, walking away.

Beth looked at Charlie. "Is he okay?"

Charlie shrugged. "Ask him that."

Beth went upstairs and took a shower before crawling into bed with Scott. She discovered that she was on her period, but she had caught it in time, so there were no stains. This also meant there was a good chance that she'd get it while she and Scott were on their honeymoon, but Beth's period only lasted four days, so it wasn't the end of the world. 

Scott was in bed, under the covers. They had been sleeping in a guest room since his bedroom was a twin-sized bed, and there wasn't enough room to sleep in it together. She smiled at him and crawled into bed next to him. 

"Hey," she said quietly.

Scott looked at her. "Hey yourself."

Beth laughed lightly. "Can I ask you something?"

Scott nodded. "Shoot."

"Who's Jose?"

Scott's soft expression turned into a serious one. "I don't want to talk about it. Ever."

Beth shrank. "Oh. Sorry," she whispered, feeling bad now.

Scott saw her face and sighed deeply. "Hey, it's nothing you need to worry about," he said gently, caressing her cheek. 

Beth nodded and placed her hand around his. Scott leaned forward and kissed Beth, placing his free hand on her stomach. He kissed her again, this time harder, and his hand started to trail down her stomach, but Beth stopped him. He leaned back, bewildered.

"Did I do something?"

Beth shook her head. "No, I just can't right now."

Scott furrowed his eyebrows together. "Why not?"

Beth gave him a look.

Scott made an O with his mouth. "Oh, sorry."

Beth leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "It's okay," she said, laying her head on his chest. Scott turned off the lamp next to him, leaving the couple in complete darkness. 

Chapter 48: Bachelor (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Scott throws his bachelor party

 

CW: Alcohol abuse, some sexual content, weed usage

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 48: Bachelor

 

Thursday, February 8th, 1973



Ronnie could barely believe it. In two days, his sister would be getting married. She wasn't even 20. Ronnie thought that she and Scott should have waited a bit longer to get married, but considering the fact Ronnie was married at 20, he doubted he could say much. He was happy for them, but a part of him wondered if they were rushing things. 

He had arrived in Dallas the day before with Benjamin and Lola. Ronnie finally got to meet Scott's family, and he was touched by how nice they were. Well, except for Scott's mother. He had a feeling she didn't like him, though she wasn't outright mean. But they were letting both him and Mary stay in their house instead of a hotel. Ronnie liked Charlie, he thought he was entertaining. 

Mary and Claire hit off immediately. They had only spoken to each other over the phone, but when they greeted each other, it was with a hug. Ronnie thought they were pretty similar to the point where Ronnie thought it was funny. It was always a good thing when the in-laws got along. 

Benjamin had chosen to be the ring bearer, so he was spending the day with the women. Kyle, who was the other ring bearer, was obviously too small to walk on his own, so Claire had volunteered to go with the boys down the aisle. Shannon was also in the wedding party, she was to be one of the flower girls, along with a daughter of a close family friend of Scott's. Shannon thought she was too old to be the flower girl, but as soon as she saw the dress she would wear, she stopped complaining. 

Ronnie hoped that his visions of Nguyệt would go away on their own, but they had become more common. He finally went to see a doctor about his sleeping problems shortly after Christmas. The doctor prescribed benzodiazepines, a common sleeping pill that had become popular recently. It worked, and now Ronnie slept through the night, his dreams were more temperate. The only problem was that he was only supposed to take the pills for six weeks, and now he was on week eight. When he started taking them, he hoped that Nguyệt would go away, but it was the one thing that it didn't make go away. 

He hadn't told anyone about the pills, and he wasn't planning to. He didn't need his mother and sister all over him. Luckily, both of them would be too busy to notice if something was off anyway. 

Scott was showing Mary and Ronnie around Dallas that morning. Ronnie had been through the city when he went to boot camp, but he never stopped and looked around. It was a nice city, much more urban compared to Omaha and Lincoln. Tonight was Scott's bachelor party, and one of the reasons why Scott took Ronnie on a tour of the city was to point out various places where they could go party at. 

"I'd show you where all the nightclubs and strip clubs are, but your mom's here," Scott whispered into Ronnie's ear.

Ronnie chuckled and nodded. "Wouldn't want her to see that."

Mary, who was walking ahead of them, turned her head. "Wouldn't want me to see what?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. 

"Us tonight, since we're gonna get really drunk," Scott interceded.

Mary stared at them before muttering something in Irish and continued walking. 

Scott looked at Ronnie. "What'd she say?”

"My poor, poor daughter." 

Scott snorted. 

They ended up eating lunch where Beth and Scott first met and afterward, they drove back to Celestion. 

"Why is it called Celestion?" Ronnie asked, cracking his knuckles.

"My great-grandfather built this place and named the ranch after his wife, Celeste. My great-grandmother," Scott answered, not taking his eyes off the road.

Ronnie nodded. "Interesting."

For tonight, Scott and his friends had all gotten hotel rooms since they'd be too drunk to come home, and Celestion was an hour and a half's drive from the city. He and Ronnie had checked into their rooms while they were out with Mary and had gotten the keys to the rooms. 

The rest of the afternoon was boring, just waiting to get out of the house. Charlie and John, their cousin, had planned the party, so neither Ronnie nor Scott knew what to expect. Ronnie was excited. He had never been to a bachelor's party, and he wasn't able to have one of his own back in Vietnam. 

They finally left again around 7. Charlie and most of Scott's friends were already there, so it was just them leaving the house. William, Scott's father, waved them off. 

"Don't get arrested," He said as Scott unlocked his car. “I won’t pay for the bail.”

Ronnie sniggered. 

"Dad, I'm assuming that we won't be back until the morning since I plan to get piss-ass drunk."

William nodded. "I'll let both of your mothers know that you want to get piss-ass drunk."

Ronnie opened the passenger seat door. "You're too kind."

William chuckled. 

Scott got in the car and started it. Ronnie closed his door and buckled his seatbelt. They drove off, away from the property, and off to the city. 

"Did you have a bachelor party in Vietnam?" Scott asked as he drove towards the entrance of the gates.

Ronnie shook his head. "No, my commanding officers thought it wasn't a smart idea to have a bunch of young men drunk near guns and explosives." 

Scott snickered. "True."

"It's risky, having your bachelor party two days before your wedding," Ronnie mused.

Scott nodded. "I know, and on a Thursday. Even better."

Ronnie laughed. 

"I know this is a subject change, but Elizabeth said you got arrested in high school," Scott said, turning onto the main highway.

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, DUI. Not my finest moment. It was a miracle I wasn't charged, but I lost my license for a year. It sucked."

"She told me that you also had to do community service and serve a shit ton of detentions."

"And pay a fine. At least no jail time."

Scott nodded. "Do you have your mugshot?"

Ronnie nodded. "It's in a box under my bed, I'll show you when we get back to California. I really look good in it. Actually, it's the picture I submitted for my passport."

Scott burst out laughing. "No! Please, tell me you're kidding."

Ronnie shook his head. "I swear to God, I'm not."

"You're fucking insane."

"Thanks," Ronnie replied, a smirk on his face. 

Scott shook his head and sighed. 

"Can I ask you a serious question?" Ronnie asked, changing the subject.

"Sure."

"Does Beth know you're an atheist?"

Scott sighed deeply. "No," he admitted.

The last time he and Scott were hanging out, Scott had admitted he was an atheist, and he hadn't told Beth because he worried that she wouldn't want to date him. She knew he was raised Lutheran and didn't go to church much, but she didn't know he was completely cut off from religion. Ronnie still believed in God, but it was more because of guilt than actually believing. 

"That'll be a fun conversation when she finds out. Aren’t ya taking those marriage sessions with the priest?"

Scott glanced at Ronnie. "My own parents don't know I'm an atheist. I know how to keep my mouth shut."

Ronnie shrugged. "It's never a good idea to keep secrets from your girl. She'll find out eventually."

"You talkin' from experience?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, I almost lost my relationship with my girlfriend in high school because of that. Of course, I never talk about anything, so saying that could make me a hypocrite."

"I don't know how I would tell her. Like hey, honey, I don't believe in something very important to you."

Ronnie smirked. "I shouldn't be laughing."

"Yeah, asshole," Scott said, a smile on his face.

The rest of the car ride was mostly silent except for music on the radio and the occasional comment. 

After parking in the hotel parking lot, Ronnie and Scott walked to their destination. The first place they went to was a strip club/nightclub called the Devaux. Everyone else was already there, so Scott and Ronnie just had to go to the VIP room. 

"I've never been in a strip club," Ronnie whispered, walking past people getting drinks.

"Me neither," Scott replied.

Charlie saw them at the bar and walked over. "You're late."

"It's not even 8:40," Scott replied, glancing at a woman wearing nothing but a glittery g-string and pasties. 

Charlie shrugged. "Just get in there, and let's have fun."

Ronnie and Scott followed Charlie to the VIP room, where they met everyone else. There were no strippers in the room, but there was alcohol and it smelled suspiciously like pot.

Scott sniffed the air. "Who's smoking weed?"

John raised his blunt in the air. "Me."

Ronnie eyed a bottle of whiskey. He grabbed it and sat on the velvet couch next to John. John eyed him.

"Are you gonna drink that whole bottle?"

Ronnie opened the bottle and took a sip. "Yep."

"Good luck with that."

The door opened again, and three women who were clearly strippers walked in. The only light in the room was red, so Ronnie couldn't see their faces pretty well, but considering Scott was a celebrity, the fewer people recognized him, the better. 

One of the strippers climbed onto the table in the center of the room as music started playing in the background. She began to dance, slowly and sensually. Ronnie took another swig of his bottle as he watched her dance. It had been a while since Ronnie had drunk whiskey, but it still had the grainy taste Ronnie remembered. Not as good as the one his father used to drink, but it was better than cheap beer. 

The two other strippers were paying attention to Charlie and Scott, who were on couches on the other side of the room. Charlie was already getting a lap dance, which surprised Ronnie considering he was married. Ronnie might have excused him if he was drunk, but Charlie was clearly sober. 

Scott saw Ronnie looking at them, so he walked over, the stripper following him. Scott sat down. 

"That didn't take long."

Ronnie smirked and looked at the stripper. "He's getting married in two days."

The stripper nodded. "I assumed this was a bachelor's party." She eyed Ronnie up and down. "Wanna lap dance?"

Ronnie handed his whiskey to Scott, who took a swig. "Sure."

The stripper straddled Ronnie's lap, facing him. Ronnie could see her face clearly now. She was pretty, with long black hair with bangs and narrow coffee-brown eyes. 

Ronnie cocked a brow. "I'm sure pretty lap dances work the other way."

She smiled. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"What's her name?"

"Lola. What’s yours?"

She smirked. "Chloe."

"That's definitely a stripper name," Scott mused, taking another sip of whiskey.

Chloe laughed. "Want that lap dance?"

"Do I have to pay for it?"

"No, you're covered for the next four hours."

Ronnie shrugged. "Go ahead."

Chloe swung her legs rounded and started dancing. Ronnie wrapped his hand around her waist and leaned back, feeling her dance on him. He glanced at Scott and noticed he was staring at him. They made eye contact, and Scott looked away. Ronnie stared at him a little longer before turning his attention back to Chole. 

Later when she finished, she stood up and walked over to someone else in the room. The smell of weed was even stronger now, probably because John and several other people were smoking pot now. John looked at Ronnie and held up his blunt.

"Want one?"

The last time Ronnie smoked marijuana was while he was still stationed in Vietnam, on his 21st birthday. Nguyệt had gotten upset after he had accidentally woken up Benjamin.

"Yeah."

From the opposite side of the room, Charlie scoffed at John. "Man, don't just hand out free weed like that. Like I overcharged at Woodstock, and the hippies were desperate to get it, I made so much money off them."

Ronnie's eyes narrowed. One of the few things he did remember from Woodstock was buying overpriced weed from a girl wearing circle-shaped glasses and a cowboy. "Wait, was it sold in a green baggie with a smiley face on it?"

Charlie nodded. "Shit, did you buy some off me?"

Ronnie nodded. "I think I did." 

"Small world," John mused.

"If you met Charlie, you think you might have met me?" Scott asked, joining the conversation. 

"Maybe," Ronnie replied, shrugging. "Maybe not. I wouldn't remember anyway." 

John then handed him a blunt. Ronnie pulled out his own lighter and lit it. He put the marijuana in his own mouth and inhaled its fumes. He sat back on the velvet couch and closed his eyes. 

“That good?"

Ronnie opened his eyes and saw Scott smirking. He was now also smoking weed. 

"I haven't smoked a blunt since Vietnam."

Scott nodded. "I stopped smoking them after I met your sister. She didn't seem like the kind of girl who would smoke grass."

"No shit, Sherlock." 

Scott laughed. 

"Can you hand me the whiskey?"

Scott handed him the whiskey.

Ronnie took the bottle and started chugging it, something you shouldn’t do drinking whiskey. Between him and Scott, they had drained about a third of the bottle, but when Ronnie set the bottle down, it was half a bottle.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I have no idea." 

After they finished the whiskey and their blunts, Ronnie and Scott decided to go to the nightclub part of the club, along with several others. Ronnie bid farewell to Chloe and left the room. The place was packed, even for a Thursday night. Music was blaring, and people were dancing everywhere. 

John put a tab at the bar, so they could continue drinking. The weed had made Ronnie's vision partially blurry, but he didn't care. He made his way to the dance floor, surrounded by sweaty bodies. Ronnie wasn't a good dancer, he never had been, and the only times he danced were when he was drunk and/or high. Like right now. He started to sway his head to the loud music and closed his eyes, the music washing over him. 

Ronnie wasn't sure who was singing the song, probably since he was too drunk to tell, but it had a nice guitar riff and a good beat. He opened his eyes again, looked around the room, and saw Scott staring at him again. When he caught Ronnie looking, he didn't look away from him this time. Ronnie stared back.

Scott was good-looking, you didn't have to be gay to think that. His blond hair reflected the purple lighting of the room, and it made it almost glow. His hair had grown out since Ronnie had first met him, the back of his head reached the end of his neck, and his side-swept bangs were to his eyes, not his eyebrows. He looked better with longer hair. He was probably one of the few men who could pull longer hair if he wanted to. 

Scott looked as if he was about to walk over to Ronnie, but people between them got in the way of Ronnie's view, and he couldn't see him anymore. Ronnie shook his head to clear out his thoughts and then decided to make his way back to the bar and get another drink. 

Ronnie switched the whiskey he had been drinking to vodka, a liquor he preferred (when it came to getting drunk quickly), and did several shots of it until his vision blurred even more. 

"Fuck," Ronnie muttered.

"What?"

Ronnie turned and saw the man of the hour, Scott. "I think I drank and smoked too much."

Scott flashed a pearly white grin and leaned forward toward Ronnie. "Well, we did say we'd get piss ass drunk."

Ronnie smiled back and rubbed his left eye. "What's the time?"

Scott brought his wrist to his face so he could read his watch. "Think I it says 1:23 or something," he said, mixing the order of his words, probably a result of his drunkenness.

"Wanna get out of here?" Ronnie asked slowly, over-enunciating his words.

Scott nodded. "I need sleep." He then looked around the room. He spotted Charlie and waved him over.

"What?"

"I'm taking off, and Ronnie's comin' wit me."

Charlie just laughed. "We'll keep partying without you."

"Have fun." 

Together, the two tumbled out of the club and onto the sidewalk. It was dark outside, but the bright neon lights outside the buildings hurt Ronnie's eyes, so he squinted and hoped he could get a taxi. 

By some miracle, he did, and the two of them hopped inside of it. It smelled like cigarettes and coconuts. 

"Where to?" The taxi driver asked them

Scott answered. "Uh... that hotel by—shit, what's it called? Oh, I remember, Sunrise Suites."

The driver nodded and started driving. Ronnie leaned back into the seat, dazed. He really did have way too much to drink and smoke, he could barely form a coherent thought. He turned his head towards Scott, who looked equally out of it.

"The last time I was this fucked up, I was at Woodstock."

Scott nodded. "Me too."

Ronnie snickered in reply.

When they arrived, Scott handed the driver 20 bucks out of his wallet. "Keep the change." 

He and Ronnie blundered into the lobby, trying not to look like idiots, but Ronnie assumed they failed since he almost fell when he got to the elevator. It then took another few minutes to remember what floor they were on, something that luckily Scott had written down earlier. Scott pressed the button hard. 

"This elevator is too fucking bright," Ronnie mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly.

"What you do mean? It's too fucking dim," Scott replied.

The elevator made a dinging noise and opened to their floor. They got out into the dark and quiet hallway. Ronnie remembered his room was 5 doors away from the elevator, so he made his way over. He pulled out the key from his wallet and unlocked the door on his third try. 

"Oh, good, I thought this wasn't my room." 

Scott patted his pants. "Fuck, I lost my key." 

Ronnie stared at him. "Uh, well, you can sleep on the couch in herree," he replied, slurring towards the end. He opened the door and walked in, only to see there wasn't a couch in his room. 

"Where's the couch?" Scott asked, closing the door after him, making the room almost completely dark. 

"Not real, apparently," Ronnie mumbled, undoing his belt and throwing it to the floor. 

Scott leaned into the wall and stared at Ronnie. "You know, you're probably one of the prettiest guys I've ever met." 

Ronnie turned back to Scott. He laughed and walked back to his bed, falling onto it, his legs hanging from the side of it. Scott followed him until he stood in front of him, their knees touching. They stared at each other.

Ronnie now had a good look at Scott's face, and even though his vision was blurry and it was dark, he could see that Scott's pupils were so dilated that his eyes were black. The moonlight from the window shone on his face, giving him an almost ethereal appearance. 

Scott suddenly leaned forward and climbed on Ronnie, straddling him, like Chloe the stripper had done previously. Ronnie, who was still laying on the bed, sat up and leaned toward Scott. Both of them were now almost gasping for breath. 

Ronnie started to get closer to his face, but abruptly, Scott doubled over and collapsed, falling on his left side.

Ronnie pushed Scott's legs off him and stood up, a burst of dizziness hitting him. It was like the floor was spinning.

"Scott? Are you-" Ronnie started to ask, but his own vision started to go black. He felt himself crash onto the floor before conking out. 

Notes:

oops 👀 👀 👀

Chapter 49: The Day Before (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

A hungover Ronnie and Scott drive home for the rehearsal dinner. Beth makes a big request to Ronnie

 

CW: Sexual content

Notes:

hello! it's spring break rn and i'm happy very happy for that

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 49: The Day Before

 

The Next Morning



Ronnie woke up on the floor of his hotel room with a pounding headache. He opened his eyes, which were greeted with sunlight, so he immediately shut them again. After a few minutes, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He opened one eye to test the brightness, but he barely lasted 5 seconds. Good thing he brought his sunglasses. 

Ronnie stood up from the floor, wondering how the hell he got there. He couldn't remember anything after Scott told Charlie they were leaving. How the hell did they even make it back?

Ronnie grabbed his sunglasses, which he knew were on the nightstand next to the bed. He put them on, opened his eyes, and saw Scott passed out in his bed, snoring lightly, his hair sticking up.

"What the fuck?" Ronnie muttered to himself, now adjusting to the morning light with his shades. He walked over to the bed and started shaking Scott. "Hey, wake up, you're getting married to my sister tomorrow."

Scott groaned and shut his eyes tighter. "What the hell are you doing in my room?" he grumbled hoarsely. 

"This is my fucking room, dumbass."

That got Scott's attention. He turned his head and opened one eye. "Why am I in your room?"

Ronnie shrugged. "You probably lost your key, and I was being a kind, gentle soul."

"You can't remember anything last night?"

Ronnie sighed. "I don't remember anything after you told your brother we were leaving. You?"

Scott shook his head. "I remember getting in the taxi, but that's it." He then glanced at Ronnie's sunglasses. "You got a pair I can borrow? My head is killing me."

Ronnie nodded and went over to his bag. "I always keep a spare on me. Force of habit after I worked on a ranch." He grabbed his second pair of sunglasses and handed them to Scott, who was sitting up now.

"Thanks," Scott muttered, putting them on. "I have aspirin in my room if you need any, I just have to go to the front desk and get a new key." 

Ronnie nodded, rubbing his temples. It felt like someone was hammering the inside walls of his brain with nails. He sat next to Scott and rolled his shoulders. "God, I'm tired."

Scott agreed. "Same."

"You got a nice cowlick there."

Scott scowled and flattened his hair with his hands. "Shut up."

Ronnie smirked and looked ahead of him before realizing something. Nguyệt wasn't in the room. He looked around just to be sure, but she wasn't anywhere. It was the first morning in a while since Ronnie had woken up to not see her somewhere in his room. 

She's not here, Ronnie thought.

"Who's not here?"

Ronnie realized he had spoken aloud. "Oh nothing, I was just thinking out loud."

Scott cocked a brow. "Ya okay?"

Ronnie shoved him lightly. "Yeah. Now c'mon, sunglasses, let's go eat breakfast and get a key to your room because my head is pounding."

"We are going to look very weird eating breakfast in rumpled clothes and sunglasses."

Ronnie shrugged. "If looking like a douchebag is the price of drinking to the point beyond memory, that's a price I'm willing to pay."

Scott scoffed and sat up. "Let's go, Ronald."

"My first name may be Ronald, but at least my middle name isn't Reginald, Reginald."

Scott raised both of his middle fingers in reply. 

They left the room, went to the front desk to get Scott a new key, and then went back up to Scott's room. His room was larger than Ronnie's, which made Ronnie kind of wish it was his key that was lost. That way he wouldn't have woken up on the floor. It was carpeted at least. 

"Here's the aspirin," Scott said, grabbing the bottle from his duffle bag. He uncapped the unbottle and shook some in his hand before swallowing it dry. He then tossed Ronnie the bottle. 

Ronnie caught it and opened it again. He poured out roughly 6 or 7 pills and swallowed them dry. "Now to breakfast," he muttered, putting the cap back on and throwing it back to Scott. 

The breakfast was pretty mundane: Eggs, toast, and plenty of orange juice since it apparently helped with a hangover. By the time they checked out, Scott was fine with no glasses, but when Ronnie tried to take them off, his banging headache was met with a blinding light, which was not a good mix. 

"Who should drive?" Scott asked when they got to his Camaro. 

"You," Ronnie replied, standing away from the sunlight.

Scott rolled his eyes and got in the driver's seat. The drive back to Celestion was uneventful. Ronnie debated taking a nap to help with the hangover but decided not to since he didn't have his sleeping pills on him. 

"You nervous?" Ronnie asked Scott when they drove out of the city limits.

Scott laughed. "I'm getting married tomorrow. What do you think?"

Ronnie shrugged. "You don't seem that nervous."

"You must be still extremely hungover," Scott replied, taking one of his hands off the wheel and holding it out. It was shaking.

"You'll be fine. My sister loves you, and more importantly, my Mom loves you."

Scott nodded. "I'm not looking forward to the rehearsal dinner tonight."

Ronnie agreed. "The last wedding I went to had one. It wasn't that bad though, probably because it really wasn't dinner, it was more of a mix and mingle with champagne and food." 

“Yeah, this one's a sit-down fancy dinner with food. My dad's making a speech from what I've heard."

"I can't wait to watch you wither in embarrassment." 

Scott side-eyed Ronnie. "Fuck off."

Ronnie made a pouty face. "You're mean."

They both looked at each other for a second before bursting out laughing. 

"Have you ever had a dog?" Scott asked after they stopped laughing.

"Uh... yeah," Ronnie replied, somewhat baffled by the randomness of the question. "When I was little, we had a dog my parents had brought from Ireland. And if you'd never guess, it was an Irish Wolfhound."

Scott snorted.

"His name was Manus. Died when I was 7. I don't think Beth remembers him. Mom was really devastated over Manus, so we never got another dog."

Scott nodded. 

"What about you?"

"Well, there's always dogs at home because of the cattle and shit, but they're all owned and taken care of by the workers. We did have a family dog though. It was a Blue Lacy named Peggy-Ann."

"What's a Blue Lacy? I've never heard of that one."

"They're from Texas. They look like a mix of greyhounds, English shepherds, and coyotes."

Ronnie nodded.  "Why'd you ask about dogs? Are you thinking about getting one?"

Scott shrugged. "Maybe."

Ronnie crossed his arms and leaned into the seat. "Well, Beth is scared of big dogs, which is funny because Irish Wolfhounds are ginormous."

Scott frowned. "I don't like small dogs. They're so yippy."

Ronnie agreed. "I don't either."

"Well, maybe if I convince her, she'll say yes."

"If you remember to," Ronnie muttered. 

Scott cocked his head. “True.”

When they arrived at the ranch, Beth immediately sized them up. She eyed both of them up and down and crossed her arms. 

"You're hungover," she stated.

Ronnie scoffed. "No shit, Sherlock." 

She then glanced at Scott, who just shrugged. "I'm gonna go shower."

"Good idea," Ronnie mumbled, smelling his shirt. It smelled like vodka and sweat. "I'll see you both in a few hours," Ronnie said, going into the house. 

 

***

 

To Ronnie's complete and utter joy, he got to sit at the main wedding party table, next to Lola and Shannon. When he saw where he was sitting, some part of him wanted to crawl under the table. He wouldn't be able to talk to Lola if Shannon was next to him. 

The dinner was held in a restaurant hotel, and the party nearly filled the whole place. There were little white circle tables everywhere, and the long rectangular table, where the immediate family sat. He and Lola were seated at the end of the table, Lola sitting at the end. Although he was annoyed sitting next to Shannon, he decided it was better than sitting near the center.

For tonight, Ronnie was wearing a simple grey suit, an outfit Lola had forced him to buy so they could eat at fancy places. (Like he could afford that.) He'd wear the tux tomorrow. Lola was wearing a long-sleeved coral dress, with slightly puffy sleeves. It looked good against her skin.

"You look good," he told her after a waiter served them champagne.

Lola smirked and took a sip from her glass. "I always look good."

Ronnie picked up his glass. "Fair enough." He then felt Shannon tugging at his shoulder. He turned to her. "What?"

"How come you were wearing sunglasses inside earlier?"

Ronnie took a sip. "Headache." 

"I think you mean hangover," Lola intervened, a shit-eating grin on her face.

Shannon giggled.

Ronnie shot a look at her. "Do you know what that means?"

"I'm 10, I'm not stupid."

"Well, what does it mean?"

"That my brother likes to get drunk."

Lola burst out cackling. 

"Well, at least I know people can live up to 100."

Shannon's eyebrows furrowed together. "Shut up," she muttered before turning away from him.

Ronnie stifled a laugh.

"You're so mean," Lola said, setting down her glass. 

"You started it," Ronnie replied curtly.

"It amazes me that you're a father."

"Me too."

"You know, last night I learned that I probably bought some stuff from Charlie and Lenora at Woodstock. I don't know if I met Scott or not."

Lola looked impressed. "It's a small world, after all, it's a small world, after all," she started to sing.

"Oh God, please don't," Ronnie groaned. Some kid at Benjamin's daycare had apparently ridden the ride at Disney Land and sung it all day, so when Ronnie went to go pick up Benjamin, that's all he was singing. If Ronnie heard the stupid song one more time, he'd kill himself. 

Lola smirked. "Sorry, I forgot Benjamin tortures you with that song."

Ronnie closed his eyes. "Screw off."

Lola snickered. 

There was a loud clinking noise, the sound of a spoon hitting a champagne glass. The room stopped talking and looked where it was coming from. William, Scott's father, was standing in the center of the room, holding his champagne glass. 

"Thank you," William said when the room was completely silent. He took a deep breath and started talking. "Tonight we are celebrating Scott, my son, and his beautiful fianceé Beth."

Several people cheered. Ronnie tried to hide his snicker because he knew Scott was dying in his seat right now.

"It's interesting how weddings bring people together. I don't know half of y'all, but somehow, we're connected through my son and Beth. I actually met my wife Claire at a wedding. She was a second cousin of the bride, and I knew the groom in college. Weddings not only bring two people together in union, but they bring the people who love them together. We all have something in common, and it's those two sitting in the center of the big table."

Ronnie could hear a few people chuckle.

William continued. "I want to wish my son and my future daughter-in-law the very best of life, love, and happiness as God allows it," he said, starting to choke up towards the end. He wiped a tear from his face and turned towards Beth and Scott. "To your life, love, and happiness."

Everyone raised their glass and repeated the phrase. "To life, love, and happiness," everyone said, clapping afterward. 

"That was really sweet," Lola remarked.

Ronnie nodded. "It was."  

Almost on cue, the waiters came into the room, carrying platters of food.

"Thank God, I'm fucking starving," Ronnie mumbled.

As they were eating, Ronnie saw Beth walk over. She was wearing a pink dress that looked similar to Lola's except it was short-sleeved. He gave her a confused look.

"Can I talk to you?' She asked.

Shannon spoke before Ronnie could. "Can I move seats?"

Beth gave her a look. "Why?"

"Ronnie's mean."

Ronnie glanced at Lola, who was biting her lip, trying not to laugh. 

Beth sighed. "If I see an empty seat, I'll let you know."

Shannon seemed satisfied with her answer. 

Ronnie stood up and got out of his chair. "What is it?"

"Let's talk outside," Beth replied.

Ronnie nodded and followed his sister out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. It was cold outside, and Ronnie could see goosebumps all over his sister's arms when they stepped outside. She rubbed her arms and took a deep breath.

"Well, I know I should have asked you this earlier, but late's better than never," Beth began.

Ronnie nodded. "What do you wanna ask?"

Beth looked down. "Since Dad's long gone, there's no one to walk me down the aisle. I was hoping that you could."

"You waited until the evening before your wedding to ask me that?"

Beth nodded. 

"I'd love to," Ronnie said, bringing Beth into a hug.

Beth smiled and leaned into his chest. "Thank you. William offered to, but I said you were doing it, so I'm glad you said yes."

Ronnie scoffed and shook his head. "You amaze me."

"What'd she ask?" Lola questioned as soon as Ronnie sat back down in his seat.

"She asked me to walk her down the aisle."

"Aww, that's so sweet."

"Maybe you're not so mean," Shannon considered.

Ronnie turned to Shannon. "You can't keep switching opinions of me. First, I'm your best friend, next I'm a meanie, and now I'm not mean. Pick something."

Shannon giggled. 

After eating dinner, Ronnie and Lola left with Charlie and Lenora so they could put Kyle and Benjamin to bed. Ronnie was sad about missing dessert, but at least he would have hot water when he showered. He bathed Benjamin before putting him to bed in a cot they were borrowing from the Sterns. Benjamin passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

"What do you wanna do now?" Lola whispered, laying on the bed. She was wearing nothing but a ratty grey t-shirt and panties.

Ronnie, who had just gotten out of the shower, dropped his towel on the floor and crawled on top of her. "Wanna fuck?"

"Benjamin's right there," Lola answered, but Ronnie could see a lustful gleam in her eye.

"That kid sleeps through anything but sunlight. We'll be fine."

Lola responded by kissing Ronnie harshly as he pinned her wrists to the bed. He shoved his tongue in her mouth as she tugged at his lip. Ronnie then let go of her wrists and turned over, wrapping his naked leg around her. Lola broke the kiss and pulled off her t-shirt and hovered over Ronnie.

"Want me to suck your cock?"

"Be my guest."

Lola smirked and licked her lips before bending down towards Ronnie's crouch and taking him into his mouth. Ronnie groaned quietly and stretched his arms. Lola's head bobbed up and down as she went deeper each time. Ronnie closed his eyes and bit his lip to suppress a moan. 

As she went faster, Ronnie could feel himself close. "Wait shit, don't make me come yet." 

Lola sat up. "Pussy."

Ronnie grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. "Shut up."

Lola smirked and kissed Ronnie again, getting pre-come on his lips. He licked them and her lips as he reached out for his wallet for a condom. Lola moved down to his chest and started kissing his chest, moving to his right nipple. He found his wallet and pulled out a small silver packet. 

Lola grabbed it from him and ripped open the package with her teeth. "You better fuck my fucking brains out," she muttered, moving back towards his cock.

 

***

 

"Do you love me?" Lola asked out of nowhere, laying next to Ronnie.

Ronnie opened his eyes and stared at her. "Do you?"

Lola stared back. "Honestly? I like you a lot, but I don’t romantically love you."

Ronnie sighed. "Yeah, there's my answer too."

Lola moved her head on his chest, now with a few forming hickeys. "We’re just huge assholes, aren’t we?" She muttered.

Ronnie chuckled and wrapped his arm around her. "Cheers to that." He turned his turn to where Benjamin was sleeping and saw Nguyệt sitting, reading a book. He turned back and shut his eyes. "Night."

Notes:

hahahahahhahahha

Chapter 50: Wedding Days (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Beth and Scott get married

 

CW: Sex (should badly written be a warning too?)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 50: Wedding Days




"Do you, Scott Reginald Stern, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?" The priest asked, his voice booming across the church. 

"I, Scott Reginald Stern, take you, Elizabeth Mary McKittrick, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

The priest turned to Beth. "Do you, Elizabeth Mary McKittrick, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live?" 

"I, Elizabeth Mary McKittrick, take you, Scott Reginald Stern, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

The priest nodded and made the sign of the cross. "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen." He then smiled gently. "You may kiss the bride."

Scott smiled at Beth and kissed her lips gently, his hands wrapping her face. The audience erupted into cheers, and when Beth turned to the congregation, everyone was standing up, waving and clapping.

Scott took Beth's hand. "Ready, Mrs. Stern?"

Beth blushed and nodded. "As I'll ever be." 

They made their way down the church and to its doors. The ushers opened it, revealing people outside cheering. They started throwing rice at Beth and Scott, dosing them in the white stuff. Beth laughed and grabbed Scott's arm. This was the happiest moment in her entire life. 

People inside the church came outside, throwing more rice on Beth and Scott. Beth spotted her mother, who had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. 

"I love you," Mary mouthed when she saw Beth looking at her. 

“I love you too,” Beth mouthed back.

"THROW THE BOUQUET!" Someone yelled from the crowd. 

The crowd cheered in agreement. Beth giggled and nodded, turning around and gripping her bouquet tighter. She closed her eyes, counted to 3, and threw the flowers into the air. She heard people yelling and rushing to catch it. 

Beth turned around to see who caught it. In the center of the crowd was Lizzie, holding the pink, red, and white rose bouquet. She smirked at Beth and winked at Scott’s cousin Paul, who she had been flirting with since they were introduced to each other. Paul smiled grimly, causing Beth to laugh.

"Ready to party?" Scott asked.

Beth nodded. "Let's."

 

***

 

For the reception, William and his ranch hands had built a large gazebo in a field. It was covered on all four sides so the cold February air wouldn't ruin the day. It decked out with lights and flowers. They hadn't let anyone see it until the reception, so when Beth saw it for the first time, she gasped. It was absolutely gorgeous. 

The reception started with an early dinner while Charlie gave his best man speech. Beth hoped that Ronnie would make a speech, but he had told her earlier that he wouldn't. If Ronnie wanted to be a party pooper, that was his problem, and it would not ruin Beth's day. 

After dinner was the first dance. Scott had picked the song and refused to tell her what it was, so Beth got to find out with the rest of the guests what song he had picked when it started playing. It was a slow piano ballad that sounded familiar, but Beth couldn't place it. It was still gorgeous, and she enjoyed every second of it. 

Later, Scott admitted it was a piano instrumental version of Animal Heart, one of his songs. Beth just shook her head and smirked when he told her. Of course Scott would pick his own song for his wedding. 

The wedding cake was bigger than Beth thought it was. She has seen and tasted samples of it, but seeing it in its full glory was impressive. The cake was as tall as Shannon and twice as wide. Luckily, it tasted as good as it looked and nearly everyone went for seconds, so Beth doubted there'd be any leftovers afterward. 

The only thing that Beth thought was prettier than the cake was her dress. It was a long white dress with a turtle neck and sheer sleeves. There were floral patterns embroidered onto the skirt, and her veil also had the same embroidered pattern. she had straightened her hair and tied the first few strands around her head. She originally wanted a puffier dress, but she was now glad she went with this one. It made her breasts look bigger than they actually were. 

While she and Scott were eating dinner, she saw Charlie walk toward them. 

"Well, well, my baby brother is married now." 

Scott rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'm literally only three years younger than you."

"Makes a difference."

"It does for Ronnie and me, but I think that might be because he's a guy," Beth said, setting her fork down on her plate. 

Charlie nodded. "You never told me, where are y'all going to for y'all's honeymoon?"

Beth grinned. "Monte Carlo," she replied in a sing-song voice. 

Charlie scoffed. "I wish I had that kind of money."

"Don't be jealous," Scott said, looking and sounding deeply concerned, but he had a sarcastic look in his eye. “You get it when Dad dies.”

"I'd tell you to go screw yourself, but it's your wedding day, and I'm nice."

Scott chuckled. "You know, we should probably get going soon. Our flight is tomorrow, and we have to leave for the airport by 8."

Beth sighed and nodded. "I don't want to leave yet."

Charlie just laughed. "You're leaving your own reception early?"

Scott shrugged.

"You just want to get to the good part," Charlie mused, poking his brother in the chest.

"Good part?" Beth asked, confused. "What's the good part?"

Charlie smirked and opened his mouth, but Scott cut him off.

"Shut up." 

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He turned to Beth and smiled. "Congratulations."

Beth smiled back. "Thanks."

He left and behind him, a young woman with red hair smirked at them. 

“Who's that?” Scott asked.

Beth smiled. “My cousin Líadan.”

Líadan walked over and smiled. “I can't believe you got married before I did,” she said, hugging Beth. 

Beth shrugged. “Who's fault is that?”

“Oh, shut it.” She turned to Scott. “So, you're the rockstar.”

Scott nodded. “Yep.”

“Me Mam thinks you're very pretty,” Líadan informed him, pointing at Aunt Moira, a plump woman with red hair talking to Mary and Eileen.

Scott nodded again, though his ears were slightly pink. 

“When are you going back to Belfast?” Beth asked.

Líadan shook her head. “I live in Dublin. Working on my Ph.D.”

“What are you studying?” Scott asked.

“Anthropology.”

Beth was impressed. “That's really cool, Líadan.”

“Are you gonna go back to Belfast afterward?”

Líadan frowned. “Well, I just got my Irish citizenship, ya know, fuck the UK and all.” Líadan laughed and then turned serious. “The area I lived in before... wasn't the best place to be a Catholic.”

Beth frowned. “I'm sorry.”

Líadan shrugged. “I'm okay, it's fine. I love Dublin anyway.”

“LÍADAN!” A woman's voice shouted. Her accent was similar to Líadan’s.

Líadan sighed. “Mam's looking for me. I just wanted to wish congratulations to both of ya.”

“Thank you,” Beth and Scott said at the same time.

Líadan smirked and walked away.

“Guess the news isn't exaggerating what's going over there,” Scott muttered.

“Mhmm.”

“You wanna leave quietly or let everyone know?”

“Quietly.”

Scott nodded. "Okay, give me your plate, and I'll throw the food out and put the dishes where they go."

Beth gave him her plate and watched him leave. She stared at her wedding ring, now next to her engagement ring. It was just a gold band, nothing compared to her engagement ring, but she loved it as much as her more expensive ring since it was the same ring Scott now wore on his left ring finger. The symbol of marriage. 

"Hey, ready?" Scott asked when he came back.

Beth nodded and grabbed his hand. "Let's go sneak out of our reception." 

Scott smirked. 

They managed to slip away unnoticed and left the gazebo. There was a path leading to the house, whose lights were all off except the ones outside. Scott opened the front door, and they went inside. 

It was hard navigating the large house in the dark, but Scott knew the place like the back of his hand, so Beth didn't have to worry about getting lost or ending up in the wrong room. For tonight, They were using the second master bedroom, which was on the third floor. Scott had told Beth that Lenora and Charlie usually use it, but they've been sleeping in Charlie's childhood bedroom for the wedding. 

Scott opened the door to the room. "After you."

Beth went into the dark room. She saw a lamp on one of the nightstands, so she turned it on hence, they could have some light. Scott closed the door and immediately undid his red bowtie and set it on the nightstand with the turned-on lamp. He took off his tuxedo jacket and placed it on the dresser drawer in front of the bed.

"Need help with the dress?" He asked, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt.

Beth nodded and pulled her hair back. Scott stood behind her and began to unbutton the back of her dress, taking his time so it wouldn't break. When he finished, She gently pulled her sleeves off and stepped out of the dress. Scott stared at her.

"You look beautiful."

Beth looked down and blushed. She was wearing matching white lingerie and a garter. "You look good too."

Scott scoffed and continued to unbutton his shirt. "You're just saying that, I look like a troll."

Beth laughed. "A very sexy troll."

Scott undid his cuffs and took off his shirt. He walked over and grabbed her waist. "I'd like to make love to my wife. Is that okay with her?"

Beth nodded. "It is very much okay." 

Scott smiled and kissed her lips. Beth pulled him closer and fell on the bed, with Scott on top of her. He kissed her again, this time harsher. Beth undid his belt and threw it on the floor. Scott undid her bra, and Beth took it off before flinging it somewhere in the room. 

"Hey, we're having sex as a married couple," Scott muttered, moving next to Beth so he could take off his shoes and socks.

Beth giggled and did the same.

"Go slow," she whispered. She could feel him adjusting his cock, pressing against her thigh. Beth wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Scott nodded as he prepared to enter her. He pushed himself off of her, hovering before thrusting slowly.

Beth gasped and winced as she felt him enter her. She was tight, and it was slightly painful.

"Are you alright?" Scott asked gently.

Beth nodded and grabbed Scott's biceps, her nails digging into his skin. 

Scott continued to go deeper until he was all the way in. He glanced up to see if Beth was alright.

"Why do you have to be seven and a half inches?" Beth muttered airily.

Scott smirked and kissed her nose. She blushed.

Scott rolled his hips, and he pushed himself into her, causing both of them to gasp lightly. Beth tightened her grip on his arms. He did again, kissing her forehead as he panted quietly.

Beth arched her back and moaned softly. He felt so good inside of her. He fit like a glove now, going in and out, kissing her temple, nose, and head as she was too short for him to kiss her lips without straining. 

Her heart and nether region beat louder as Scott's picked up his pace, eliciting soft gasps and moans from the both of them. Beth was now digging into Scott's arms, knowing she'd leave a mark. Good. She was his, and he was hers. 

"Oh," Beth mumbled, pulling Scott closer to her.

Scott nodded and strained his neck so they kissed. She licked the sweat off his lips and felt him groan.

"I love you," he gasped, thrusting even faster.

Beth fell back to the bed, rolling her eyes back and moaning loudly, back arching, clinging to the sheets as she felt herself close to an orgasm. She was impressed that Scott didn't have to touch her clit.

"I love you too," Beth breathed out as she orgasmed, shaking around Scott, who now held her body close to his. Her head hit the pillow when she finished, breathing loudly as Scott continued to make love to her. 

He pushed one last stroke, and she felt him in her womb as he came loudly, groaning and burying his face into her chest. Beth shuttered as she felt his semen fill her. He stayed on her chest, panting until he finished.

Beth sighed loudly when Scott pulled out of her. He was breathing hard, exhausted. His head hit the pillow, and he took slow breaths, recovering from his orgasm. 

"I didn't tell you," he said between breaths. "I got nominated for two Grammys. Best Album and Best Vocal Performace."

"Don't they announce that in December?"

"Yeah, but I forgot I didn't tell you."

"I'm really proud of you."

Scott smiled sleepily. "Thanks."

"We should get some sleep. We got a long day tomorrow," Beth said, pulling up the covers and laying on Scott's arm. 

Scott nodded and closed his eyes. "I love you so much."

Beth smiled. "Me too."

Beth fell asleep quickly, tired out from the day. It was a dreamless sleep until she heard Scott suddenly sit up and gasp. She woke up at the sound of her husband's panicked breathing. She opened her eyes and saw Scott breathing hard and deeply, his eyes wide. He seemed to be horrified by something.

"Scott? What happened, baby? Are you okay?" Beth asked groggily, sitting up herself.

"Oh, Jesus," he mumbled, rubbing his face. "Oh, Jesus."

"Are you okay?" Beth asked again, slightly more awake.

Scott looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just remembered something that I couldn’t remember."

Beth nodded. "Okay," she replied, but she didn't sound too sure.

"Go back to sleep," Scott whispered, smiling at her. 

"Okay." Beth laid back down and closed her eyes, but not before she watched Scott put on his underwear and leave the room, closing the door behind him.

Notes:

An ode to my beta reader for she asked that I speak of her:

Beta reader, Tristan, the Louis to my Lestat

Reads my work and gives me amazing feedback and funny comments

Writes fanfiction for me that is glorious

Better than any other beta reader ever

One of my closest friends

Hope you get over Covid soon

Love you :)

 

FOR CONTEXT

The Troubles: An Ethno-nationalist conflict in Northern Ireland that lasted about 30 years from the late 1960s to 1998. Also known internationally as the Northern Ireland conflict, it is sometimes described as an "irregular war" or "low-level war". The conflict began in the late 1960s and is usually deemed to have ended with the Good Friday Agreement of 1998. (Wiki) In Belfast, many of the neighborhoods were segregated into protestant and catholic neighborhoods to avoid conflict (it didn't work)

Chapter 51: Another One (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Beth gets a big surprise. Ronnie invites her and Scott to ski next weekend

Notes:

thank you thank you for all the hits and kudos!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 51: Another One

 

Monday, March 5th, 1973, Long Beach, California



Beth found it odd having a new last name. She had been so used to Beth McKittrick, it was strange now being Beth Stern. Beth would turn 20 in April, and she was already a missus. Ronnie had told her that they should have waited longer before getting married, but other than the awkwardness of a new name, Beth didn't see any downsides. 

Their honeymoon was almost dreamlike. Two weeks of ocean air with fancy food was heaven, and the fact that Scott spoke French made it even better. Beth was sad when they left, she could have stayed in Monaco forever. 

Scott ended up winning his second Grammy for Best Album, something Beth was very proud of. He tried making her come with him to the ceremony, but Beth refused. Even though they were married now, Beth still didn't want to make public appearances with him. The encounter at the mall in July had shaken her to the core. 

Scott wasn't home at the moment, he was on a promo tour for his third album, Boy. It had debuted at number 3, but Pink Floyd's latest album had already taken over the charts, even though it was only released on the 1st. Ronnie wholeheartedly loved The Dark Side of the Moon and even flat out told Scott over the phone that their album was far better than his when he came over for dinner. To Beth's surprise, Scott agreed with him. 

Since Beth had gotten back from Monaco, she hadn't been feeling well. She had headaches, cramps, and even threw up a few times. She was scared that she had caught something, but she didn't have a fever, so she didn't know. She was also late for her period, she hadn't gotten it while they were honeymooning, which she thought was a good thing, but now she was almost three weeks late, something not normal for her. 

"Do you think I should go to the doctor?" Beth asked Gloria, who was folding laundry. 

Gloria looked up from the living room couch. "Do you want me to drive you? You look pale."

Beth smiled. "You're too kind, but I think I can drive myself."

Gloria nodded. "Well, I'll stay later than usual today, just in case you need me."

Beth rubbed her eyes. "What would I do without you?"

Gloria smiled kindly. 

Beth changed into nicer clothes and put concealer under her eyes to hide her eye bags. She grabbed her purse and left the house, hoping her doctor would take a walk-in. 

The doctor's office was only a 20 minute drive, so Beth wasn't worried about feeling too sick to drive, but as she parked, she felt herself about to throw up again. Beth immediately opened her car door and threw up on the grey asphalt. 

"Well, there goes my breakfast," Beth muttered, wiping her mouth. She was glad she wasn't wearing lipstick. 

After carefully stepping around the remains of her breakfast, Beth made her way inside the building. She was worried that she might have to wait, but when she asked to make an appointment today, the receptionist informed her that her doctor could take her right now. 

"Really? Right now?" Beth asked, surprised.

The receptionist nodded. "You can go into exam room four. What's your name?"

"The file's under Elizabeth McKittrick, but it's Stern now."

"Oh, did you get married?"

"Yes, a month ago on the 10th."

The receptionist smiled. "Congratulations."

Beth nodded. "Thank you."

The receptionist pulled out her file and told her to go to the exam room, and she'd give the file to the doctor. Beth went inside the room and sat on the examination bed. Although she was grossed out that she threw up, she was feeling a bit better than she did earlier that morning. The door opened, and a nurse came and took her vitals. When she left, the doctor walked inside a few moments later.

"Good morning, Miss McKittrick," Dr. Young said, closing the door behind him. "Receptionist told me you got married."

Beth nodded. "Yes, It's Stern now."

"Well, Mrs. Stern, what seems to be the problem?" Dr. Young asked, sitting down in his chair. 

"Ever since I got back from my honeymoon, I've been feeling really weak and ill. I've had headaches, chills, cramps, and I've thrown up multiple times."

"Fever?"

Beth shook her head.

"Where did you go for your honeymoon?"

"Monte Carlo."

"Considering you went somewhere very expensive and beautiful, and you don't have a fever, I don't think it has anything to do with your honeymoon. But just to be sure, I'd like to do a urine sample if that's alright with you."

Dr. Young opened a drawer from the cabinet and handed Beth a plastic cup with a green cap. "The bathroom's down the hall, on the right."

Beth nodded. "Of course, that's fine."

Beth stood up. "Thank you," she said as she left the room. 

Luckily, Beth had to go anyway, so she didn't have to sit on the toilet for 20 minutes, waiting to go pee. She peed into the cup, put the cap on it, set it down, and finished doing her business. She washed her hands and left the room, the cup in her hands.

"Here you are," Beth said, coming into the room and handing the sample to Dr. Young. 

Dr. Young took the sample and left the room, closing the door behind him. 

Beth sat in the room quietly, her legs swinging. She leaned back into the wall and closed her eyes until she heard the door open again. She saw Dr. Young holding pamphlets in his head. Her heart raced. What did her urine sample say?

"Well, I have some news for you."

"Good or bad?" Beth blurted out.

Dr. Young smirked. "Most people see it as good news."

"What is it?"

"You're pregnant."

Beth stared blankly at him. "I'm what?"

"Pregnant. You're obviously still in your first trimester, but I don't think you're even four weeks along. You've been having morning sickness this whole time. Don't worry, it's very normal for pregnant women in the first weeks of their pregnancy."

Beth sighed with relief. She wasn't sick at all, she was carrying a baby! "When will it be due?"

"I believe sometime in November," Dr. Young replied, handing Beth the pamphlets. 

She looked at them and saw they were about pregnancies. Beth nodded. "Thank you." 

Dr. Young nodded. "You'll need to start seeing a gynecologist more often. In one of the pamphlets, I wrote a few recommendations."

Beth put them in her purse. "Thank you."

Dr. Young wrote something down on his clipboard. "Congratulations, Mrs. Stern."

Beth smiled and nodded, getting off the examination table and grabbing her purse. Dr. Young opened the door for her, and she left the room. She gave the receptionist her insurance card and paid before leaving. The drive back home was much easier than the drive to the doctor. 

It felt like a million pounds had been lifted off her shoulder. Sure, she still wasn't feeling well, but she had a reason, and it had nothing to do with a virus or flu. She was pregnant!

Beth had always wanted to be a mother, even when she was small. Although she wouldn't admit it to anyone, she was jealous of Ronnie. He had a son, a small handsome baby who barely cried. She and Scott hadn't talked about starting a family yet, the only part she was worried about. How would he feel when she told him she was expecting? 

Beth decided to not tell Gloria anything until she had told Scott. When she got back, she just told her that it was just a little cold and that she'd be fine. Gloria left the house at 3, so Beth spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for Scott to call her.

She knew he was in New York tonight, so she'd have to wait late for his phone call. She ate dinner by the phone, anxious for the call. Finally, around 7, the phone started ringing. Beth picked it up immediately.

"Hello?"

"Good evening," Scott replied.

Beth smiled. "How are you?"

"Tired. You?"

"Basically the same."

"Well, are you feeling better?" Scott asked.

"I went to the doctor today," Beth replied, a smile creeping on her face.

"What'd he say?"

"He said I have something."

"What do you have? Are you alright?" Scott rushed out, sounding concerned.

Beth smirked. She shouldn't be teasing him. "I have something inside of me, and in November it'll come out, naked and screaming."

"Wait, are you pregnant?" 

Beth nodded. "Yes, about three or four weeks."

Scott went silent. "Shit," he muttered quietly.

Beth frowned. "Are you not happy? I know we haven't talked about starting a family, but-"

Scott cut her off. "Beth, I'm overjoyed," he said, laughing in delight. "I'm gonna be a father."

Beth grinned. "Oh, I'm glad you feel the same way I do."

"Well, I guess I'm gonna have to tell the label I’m not touring in the fall and winter then. Baby will need both of its parents when it arrives." 

"I love you," Beth said, putting her hand on her stomach. 

"And I love both of you," Scott replied.

"I probably should break the news to your parents, mine, and Ronnie." 

"Yeah. I'd love to talk to you forever, but I got an early flight tomorrow. I'll call you at the same time as today."

Beth nodded. "Bye, baby."

"Thank you for giving me the greatest news I could ever receive."

Beth giggled.

"Good night, sweetheart," Scott said before hanging up the phone. 

Beth didn't bother to set the phone down and dialed William and Claire’s number. 

"Yes?" Claire’s voice asked.

"It's Beth."

"Oh, how are you?"

"I'm good. And you?"

"Tired and feeling old. Both of my sons are married men, and one of them already has a child."

"Well, I have some news that might make you feel older," Beth admitted. "Is William near the phone?"

"No," Claire replied. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"Oh, no. I want to talk to both of you."

"This news must be important," Claire commented.

Beth nodded. "It is."

Claire called over William and put the phone between them, so they could both hear Beth. 

"What is it, dear?" William asked.

Beth took a deep breath. "Scott and I wanted to tell you what we're expecting."

"Oh my, really?" Claire exclaimed, clapping in delight.

Beth nodded. "The doctor estimated that the baby's due November." 

"Well, that's great news," William said. He sounded almost as excited as his wife did.

Beth stayed on the phone with William and Claire for a few more minutes. Claire just rambled about taking care of a baby and all the advice Beth would need. Eventually, William took the phone from her and asked Beth if she had told her mother yet. She told him no, so he told her to hang up and inform her, they could talk more later.

Mary's reaction was very similar to Claire’s. She cheered excitedly and called Shannon over to tell the news. Mary then started telling about when Beth was a baby and how old she felt that Beth was now going to have one of her own. 

"Mom, you're young. You're not even 50," Beth chided.

Mary sighed. "I turn 48 next month, and I find more grey hairs every day, mo grá. I am old."

Beth just rolled her eyes. 

For Ronnie, Beth had to ring twice before he picked up the phone.

"Yeah?" Ronnie asked, sounding out of breath.

"It's Beth."

"Oh, hey," Ronnie replied, taking deep breaths.

"Are you okay?" Beth questioned.

"Yeah, I was just working out."

"Well, I don't care," Beth replied curtly. "You can finish later."

Ronnie chuckled. "It's fine. I was about to finish anyway."

Beth could hear him sit down. 

"How are you?"

"Alone in a big house."

"Oh, how funny, I'm alone in a small house."

Beth rolled her eyes. "You have Benjamin."

"All that kid does is sleep, eat, and touch my records."

Beth laughed. "Benjamin's an angel."

Ronnie snorted. "Until he's hungry. Then he just grabs your arms and tugs at them until you give him something."

"Is he doing that right now?"

"No, he's asleep. He was doing it earlier though."

Beth smirked. 

"So... why'd you call?" Ronnie asked.

"I'm pregnant."

Unlike Claire’s and Mary's reactions, Ronnie laughed. 

"Already? Christ, that was fast."

Beth pursed her lips at the sound of Christ but decided not to chide him. "You're too kind."

Ronnie snickered. "Sorry, that was mean. No, good for you and Scott. Benjamin can have someone else to play with other than Dean," Ronnie said, referring to Isaac's and Bian's son. 

"We're both going to be parents. It feels weird."

"Not as weird when Shannon starts having kids."

"Oh please, I don't want to think about that." 

"Fair enough." He paused for a moment. "When does Scott get back?"

"Next Thursday," Beth answered.

"Would you guys like to come up next weekend and go skiing? I'm only 10-15 minutes away from the slopes, and I have a season pass, which means we can get free lunch there. I'll take the day off, and we can go Friday, maybe Saturday."

Beth smiled. "I'd love to."

"Well, I'll see you then." 

Notes:

Fun Fact: The Dark Side of the Moon is one of the longest-charting albums of all time. It charted on the Billboard 200 for 736 nonconsecutive weeks (from 17 March 1973 to 16 July 1988). It has a total of 962 weeks on the chart as of Feb 2022.

Chapter 52: The Sierra Nevadas (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Ronnie, Scott, Beth, and Benjamin go skiing. Ronnie tells Scott about his father.

 

CW: Mentions of past war traumas and past childhood abuse

Notes:

happy april

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 52: The Sierra Nevadas

 

Friday, March 16th, 1973, Running Springs, California



"I can't remember the last time I went skiing," Beth said, rolling her shoulders.

"I do. It was in January. With him," Scott replied, pointing at Ronnie, who was in the driver's seat.

Beth glanced at her husband. "You guys went skiing together?"

"You dumbass, she wasn't supposed to know," Ronnie muttered. 

Beth crossed her arms. "It was when you had that big long important meeting with Peter. You lied about it and went with Ronnie, didn't you?"

Scott looked at his feet. "Yeah." 

Ronnie started snickering quietly.

"Oh, shut up. I can't believe you lied about having a meeting so you could ski with Ronnie instead of going on a date with me."

Ronnie started laughing harder. "Shit, I didn't realize you were skipping a date. I like you more and more every day."

Scott smirked. 

"HI!" Benjamin shouted, interrupting the conversation.

"Hi back," Scott replied, giving him a high five. 

Beth and Scott had arrived at Ronnie's house at around 6 in the morning. They ate breakfast together and threw the ski clothes into Ronnie's car before leaving the house around 7. All the jackets were thrown onto the passenger seat, so no one sat next to Ronnie on the ride. 

After parking when they arrived, the three of them put on their ski gear while Benjamin sat in the car, waiting for someone to help him into his clothes. Ronnie finished getting ready first, so he pulled Benjamin out and helped him into his ski gear.

Beth raised a brow. "As much as I think that Benjamin looks adorable in his little puffy jacket and boots, he shouldn't need them since he's going to daycare."

Ronnie shook his head. "No, I put him in lessons for today."

Beth looked surprised. "He's too young to be on the slopes."

Ronnie shrugged in reply. "It's only an hour and a half lesson, and then he'll go back to daycare." 

After dropping off Benjamin and buying lift passes for Beth and Scott, the three of them headed towards the slopes. Since Beth hadn't skied since 1969, they went down green circles (easy) hills until she felt comfortable enough to ski down blue squares (medium). She refused to ski down black diamonds, which was understandable considering she was pregnant. 

"How often do you come here?" Beth asked as they got onto another lift.

Ronnie shrugged. "I don't know, every other weekend or whenever I'm not busy, I've tried taking Lola a few times, but she doesn't like the cold and wind."

"Your legs must be sore," Scott remarked. 

Ronnie smirked and nodded. "Yeah, but you get used to it after a while."

Today was actually warmer than it usually was, so Ronnie ended up taking off his jacket and throwing it into a locker he rented and just skied in his dark green turtleneck. Scott did the same, but Beth kept on her jacket.

"If you two get hypothermia and die, it won't be my fault," she declared, staring at the two of them like they were toddlers. 

"I mean, there are worse ways to go," Scott replied. "Like exploding."

Ronnie nodded, thinking about the kid that had died via a grenade explosion in Vietnam. 

"Besides, cold bodies don't smell. That's why morgues are cold."

Beth's eyes narrowed as she sighed.

"And charred ones do. Burnt human flesh is the worst thing I've ever smelled," Ronnie muttered.

Both Scott and Beth turned to face Ronnie. Beth's face looked extremely concerned. Scott had a mask covering the lower half of his face, but Ronnie could see in his eyes that he felt the same way that Beth did. 

"You've smelled that?" Beth asked quietly.

"I've seen it," Ronnie answered. 

"Oh," Beth mumbled quietly. 

Scott didn't say anything and started looking at the trees.

"Sorry... that was morbid," Ronnie apologized, looking at his skis. “Let's just keep going down.” He grabbed his poles, turned his skis, and continued skiing down the mountain, not waiting for Beth or Scott to say anything. 

God, why the fuck did you say that? Ronnie thought as he went down the mountain. You never talk about that, but when you did, it was about crispy bodies. Nice one, McKittrick. You're a real dumbass

When Scott and Beth caught up with him, they didn't say anything and Scott started talking about football and how he was still amazed that the Miami Dolphins had won the Super Bowl without a single losing streak, and he was hoping that this year, the Dallas Cowboys would prevail. Ronnie nodded, but he wasn't into football as much as he used to be. 

After he came back from Vietnam, he found he didn't have time for it, and even though now he walked without a cane, he couldn't run that well. It made him sad, considering he was his high school's football captain and had gotten scholarships for it. 

"Okay, enough about football," Beth complained. "Let's get lunch. It's almost 12:30, and I'm hungry."

Scott raised his hands, gloves dangling on his poles since he had taken them off. "Okay, okay."

"There's a food court at the bottom," Ronnie pointed out.

"Okay, we'll eat there," Beth said, pulling her hair out of her hat. It was styled into two braids. 

The food court had plenty of options, so all of them got different stuff. Beth had soup and a sandwich, Scott got a cheeseburger, and Ronnie got pasta, a food he recently was starting to love due to the low cost, and a bottle. 

"Hey, get me one too," Scott said, taking a bite of his burger.

Ronnie nodded and went to the little bar they had. He bought another bottle, paid, and went back, but saw Scott was gone. 

"He went to the bathroom," Beth replied before Ronnie could ask.

"Okay," he muttered as he sat back down. He pulled out his bottle opener from his wallet and opened the beer bottle.

"You keep a beer bottle opener on you?" Beth asked, clearly judging him.

Ronnie shrugged. "Never know when you might need it. Like right now."

Beth rolled her eyes in response as he took a sip from his bottle. "You shouldn't be drinking at lunchtime anyway."

Ronnie smirked, but he didn't say anything in reply.

After 10 minutes, Scott still hadn't returned, and Ronnie had already finished two-thirds of his beer. Another 5 minutes had passed when Ronnie finished his beer, and there was still no sign of him. He started contemplating drinking Scott's beer that he bought, but finally, he saw Scott walking over to the table where he and Beth were sitting.

"What took you so long?" Beth asked.

"Did you fall in?" Ronnie questioned. 

Scot snorted and sat down. "No, I did not fall in, but it was pretty close. There was an octopus monster."

Ronnie crossed his arms. "Oh, his name is George. He's nice once you give him french fries."

Scott chuckled lightly. "Some people recognized me, and I signed some autographs. And jackets."

Beth nodded. "Oh, I'm sorry that happened."

Scott shook his head. "Don't be." He pointed at the beer bottle. "Is that for me?"

Ronnie nodded.

Scott grabbed the bottle, and Ronnie handed him the bottle opener. "Thanks. Anyways, I don't mind, it just means I'm making a crapload of money, and they were really nice."

After Scott finished his burger and beer, they started putting back on their gear, but Beth didn't move from her seat. 

"I'm really tired," she explained. "I can go get Benjamin when his lesson ends, and we can hang together. I saw the resort has a little tubing area I can take him to."

Ronnie nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, being pregnant makes me tired fast. What time does his lesson end?"

"1:30 since it started at 12."

Beth smiled. "Okay, I'll see you boys later."

Scott walked over and kissed her lips gently. "Love you."

"You too." 

When they walked out of the food court and to where their skis and poles were, Scott sighed in relief. 

"I'm kind of glad she bailed. I want to ski black diamonds and trails."

Ronnie sniggered. "That's mean."

Scott shrugged. 

"Don't worry. I feel the same way."

Once they had their skis back on, Ronnie and Scott made their way to the other side of the mountain, where the harder slopes were located. It was less crowded too, so they were able to enjoy skiing alone. The wind whipped in Ronnie's face, but he didn't mind the windburn because it meant he was going fast. 

Scott was a good skier. Ronnie had made note of it when they went skiing together in January, but now that Beth was gone, he could really pay attention to it. Scott was probably a better skier than Ronnie, but Ronnie would never admit it out loud. It'd crush his ego. 

"When did you start skiing?" Ronnie asked as they skied down a trail in the woods. 

Scott slowed his pace, so they were next to each other. "Uh, I think I started when I was 4. My dad's family is big on skiing since we're German, and my mother's dad, my Grandpa Dan, used to ski professionally."

Ronnie nodded. "That's actually really cool."

"Thanks. What about you?"

"I've been skiing since I was 3, and although me and my father couldn’t stand each other, we got along skiing together. I always thought maybe skiing would make us closer." He scoffed. "Look how well that turned out."

Scott swallowed, nodding. "What exactly happened to your father? I know he left, but your sister never talks about it."

Ronnie side-eyed Scott and sighed deeply. "It's a long story."

Scott skied to a large clearing with large rocks. "I better sit down then."

They both took off their skis, put their gloves on their poles, and loosened their ski boots before sitting on one of the large rocks. Ronnie took off the sunglasses he was wearing, and Scott put his ski goggles on his forehead.

"I mean, he was the biggest asshole I knew. He wasn’t to Beth or Shannon. No, they were his little girls. Not too dear to me, though. He hated me, I dunno why. 

He had an accident when I was 4. He broke a couple of ribs and got a severe concussion. After that, something in his little brain decided that he’s gonna hate his son for no reason and make his life a living hell."

Scott nodded silently. 

"When I was 14, he started an affair. I didn’t know who, but I figured it out after he kept leaving after my mom fell asleep, and I found a ring that didn’t belong to my mother. I was snarky about it, which probably didn’t help my case. Turns out, my sophomore English teacher was the woman he was having an affair with. Her name was Miss Warren. If she wasn't fucking him, I'd still hate her. People started calling her a heinous bitch in the second semester.

 After my homecoming dance in ‘65, I came home to see him yelling at Beth. I told him to leave her alone, and the next thing I know, I’m on the wall being choked."

Scott's eyes widened. "Jesus Christ."

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, fun times. Mom came home early and caught him. If she had come home 5 minutes later, I’d probably be dead. She kicked him out the next day. 

After that, I saw him once in ‘66, but I haven’t seen my father in 7 years, and I wish it was longer. He moved to Colorado with Miss Warren, but I don't know after that. Last I checked, he lives in Chicago, and I only know this because my mother forces him to pay child support.”

Scott was silent for a moment. "You were abused?"

Ronnie nodded. "It wasn't just physical abuse, but he'd insult me, make racist comments about my girlfriend, who was Native American, and when my Mom wasn't looking, he'd give me the nastiest look like I was an abomination. Ironically, I'm named after him. I still have some scars from beatings."

Scott's face turned pitiful. "I'm sorry, that's fucking awful."

"You can say that again."

Scott gently put his hand on Ronnie's shoulder. "You know if you need anyone to talk to, I’m pretty good at keeping secrets."

Ronnie smirked. "Sure. Okay, enough with the depressing backstory, let's keep skiing."

"Fair enough," Scott replied, sliding off the rock and tightening his ski boots.

Ronnie did the same. “You know, there's a creek near my house if you wanna go swimming. The water's cold, but it feels nice.” Ronnie was able to wade in the water, but he couldn't fully swim in yet. He was proud of his progress, however.

Scott stepped into his right ski. “I'd love to, and knowing Elizabeth, she'll probably not want to go and offer to babysit Benjamin.”

“Even better.”

Scott finished putting his gear back on first and started skiing towards the main slope. “I'll meet you at the bottom.”

Ronnie gave Scott a thumbs up and watched him ski away. He wondered if Scott was usually that nice to all of his male friends, or if he remembered what had happened at his bachelor party, something Ronnie had only recalled a few days ago. Ronnie closed his eyes and shook himself out of his thoughts before skiing after Scott. 

Notes:

the plot thickens oops

For Context

Dallas Cowboys: American football team. Back in the 70s, they were like super good which I find funny

Miami Dolphins: American football team

Chapter 53: River in the Mountains (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Ronnie and Scott go swimming and play with fire

 

CW: Sexual content, mention of suicide attempt, explicit sex

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 53: River in the Mountains



Scott and Ronnie left for the river around 10 in the morning. It was a 7 minute drive, but you still had to walk another 5 minutes before you got to the stream. They took Scott's car, a gorgeous black Camaro that Ronnie was very jealous of. Today though, Scott let Ronnie drive because Scott didn't know where the river was. 

"I swear, if you so much as scratch this car, I'll kill you," Scott warned as he sat in the passenger seat.

"I won't. Besides, you're rich, and you can easily get another car," Ronnie replied, starting the car and beginning to pull out of his driveway.

"This is my baby. I'd never get rid of it."

Ronnie chuckled and turned onto the road. "Cigarette?" he asked, pulling out a pack of them from his pocket. 

"Yes, please," Scott answered, taking the pack and pulling a cigarette out from it. He rolled down his window before lighting his cigarette. Wind started blowing into the car. 

"Can you light mine?"

Scott nodded, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it before handing it to Ronnie.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

Ronnie put the cigarette in his mouth and started rolling down his window.

Scott grimaced. "Please drive with both hands."

Ronnie finished rolling down his window and took his other hand off the wheel. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I hate you."

Ronnie laughed and put his hands back on the wheel. 

Scott sighed and turned on the radio, only to hear one of his songs blasting. "Oh, would you look at that, it's me," he said monotonously.

Ronnie glanced at him and started laughing. "I think you might have a bigger ego than me."

"I probably do."

Ronnie turned onto a dirt road and continued to drive down it for a few minutes before stopping and parking in a clearing. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and handed them to Scott. 

"We're here?"

"No, we gotta walk now," Ronnie replied, getting out of the car. He went to the trunk of the car and opened it. He grabbed a picnic blanket, two towels, and a pack of beer.

"Need help?"

"Yeah, hold this," Ronnie said, handing the blanket and towels to him.

"Now what?"

Ronnie pointed towards a trampled grass path. "It's a 5 minute walk that way."

Scott took his cigarette out of his mouth, dropped it, stepped on it, and picked it back up. When he stood back up, he saw Ronnie staring.

"What? I don't like to litter."

Ronnie took his own cigarette out of his mouth and put the light out with his fingers. 

"That's gotta hurt."

Ronnie shrugged and dropped his cigarette on the dirt. "I'm used to it." He held his right hand out to show Scott the nicotine stains. 

"Okay, let's go swim now, Nicotine Boy," Scott muttered, walking towards the path.

"Could say the same to you," Ronnie replied, following him. 

The walk to the river was quiet, with cicadas buzzing and the wind blowing through the trees. It was sunny and pretty hot for a March morning, so Ronnie hoped that the water wouldn't be as cold as the last time he went swimming there. (Well, when he tried to go swimming. He got out when he was knee-deep.) When they arrived, Scott took a few steps back to admire the scenery. 

"This place is pretty." 

Ronnie nodded.

Woods surrounded both sides of the bluish-grey river, which was roughly 4 feet at its deepest. Large rocks were protruding out of the water, but they were slippery, and you could fall into the water if you weren't paying attention. Bright green grass surrounded the area and banks, making it look like a scene from a painting. 

"During the summer," Ronnie began, "it gets pretty crowded, but no one's stupid enough to go swimming in March."

"No one except us," Scott remarked. 

"Exactly," Ronnie said.

Scott spread out the blanket, and Ronnie used the beer as a weight to hold it down. They tossed the towels on the blanket before taking off their shirts and pants. Both of them already had their swim trunks on, so they didn't have to bother actually changing there. 

It was still awkward. Ronnie turned away as he took off his t-shirt and shorts. All he could think about was when Scott had told him he thought he was the prettiest man he'd ever met. What did it mean? Did he actually mean it, or was it just drunken nonsense? He recalled his own thoughts from that night and what could have happened.

Ronnie blamed it on being extremely drunk, but now he wasn't sure. Even before the party, Ronnie had noticed a quiet tension between them. Whether it was a side comment, a debate, or just being alone, there was always something in the air. It was probably just their egos butting heads, considering they had similar personalities.

"Lost in thought?" Scott asked.

Ronnie turned and saw Scott wearing turquoise swim trunks with palm leaf designs. "Nice trunks."

Scott scoffed and stretched his arms. "Says the guy in Hawaiian print."

Ronnie looked down at his trunks, which were black and had dark blue and purple flowers on them. "Lola gave it to me for my birthday."

"Whatever," Scott replied, walking towards the river. "Didn't know you had a tattoo."

Ronnie looked at his arm. "Yeah, I got it in Vietnam. Somehow my Mom still doesn't know. What does Beth think about yours?"

Scott shrugged. "She doesn't like it, but I got it before we met." He then jogged ahead and partially dove into the water. Scott quickly came up and laughed. "Fuck, that's cold." Scott stood up. "Not that deep either."

"It's 3 to 4 feet," Ronnie replied, now ankle-deep in the water. He was not gonna panic in front of Scott. "We're just tall." 

"Aren't ya gonna come in?"

Ronnie shrugged. "I'm not the biggest fan of water, but as long as I don't go underwater, I'll be fine."

Scott cocked a brow. "Are you afraid of water?"

"I'm afraid of drowning," Ronnie muttered before giving Scott a Drop it face. 

Scott got the message. 

Ronnie managed to reach the deepest point of the water, which met at his waist. He smiled. 

"You okay?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah."

Scott sunk lower into the water until only his head stuck out. "This is fucking cold."

Ronnie smirked.

One of the nice things about swimming was that the water got warm eventually, or your body just got used to it. After getting used to the water, Ronnie and Scott wadded downstream, where the river turned into a swimming hole and was quite deeper. Not to mention colder. Ronnie stayed a few feet away from the edge.

Scott decided to use this time to show off, doing jumps from a large rock. At first, it was just cannonballs, but then it turned more competitive, seeing if he could outdo himself each time. Ronnie just rolled his eyes and gave scores every time. The highest so far was 5. And yes, Ronnie was being mean on purpose.

Scott then proceeded to do a backflip in the water. 

"That was like an 11," he said when he came up.

Ronnie held up a 6. "Ehh... could use some work."

"Oh, fuck you." 

"You're just not used to losing."

"I think you're jealous."

Ronnie slashed him in reply. He was surprised he did it without thinking.

Scott slashed him back, but he was further away, and the water didn't touch him.

"Missed."

"So you wanna be like that?" Scott asked, more amused than annoyed.

Ronnie slashed him again a bit harder before starting to wade upstream. 

"Come mere, you little asshole," Scott shouted, swimming after him.

Ronnie waded towards the bank and started running on the grass, leaving Scott in the dust.  He stopped when he saw the picnic blanket and got out to take a breather. Ronnie then smiled. That was the longest time he had been water since before his capture. Sure, he hadn't technically swum, but he went in for over an hour. After a few seconds, he saw Scott walking near the bank. 

"You're a cunt, you know."

Ronnie smirked. "Being a cunt is all I know." 

Scott raised his middle finger and stepped out of the water. "Wanna take a break? We've been in there for a while."

Ronnie nodded and walked over to his towel. He picked it up and tossed the one to Scott. He then picked up his watch from the blanket and looked at the time. 1:06.

"Jesus, it's already 1."

Scott wrapped his towel around his waist. "Already?"

Ronnie sat down on the blanket after drying himself off. He could feel the sun's heat against his back. Scott sat next to him, towel around his neck.

"What's for lunch?"

Ronnie grabbed the beer pack and cigarettes. "Beer and cigarettes."

Scott nodded. "Ah yes, the food of the gods." 

Ronnie laughed as he lit his cigarette. 

Scott opened a can of beer and drank from it. "I thought Elizabeth made sandwiches."

"The ham and cheese ones?"

Scott nodded. 

Ronnie's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Oh, I ate them for breakfast."

Scott scowled. "I saw you eat eggs and toast."

"I was still hungry."

"You really do have the stomach of an elephant. I'd say you're a Hobbit, but you're too tall."

Ronnie smirked. "I have a reputation to keep up," he said, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

Scott rolled his eyes, pulling a cigarette pack out of his pants, opening it, grabbing a cigarette, and lighting it.

Ronnie preferred smoking Marlboro while Scott smoked Camel. It was the cigarette he typically smoked when he was younger, and during the war, it was the cigarettes they gave the soldiers, so Ronnie never bothered switching to another brand. Marlboro looked prettier anyway. 

"Scott?" Ronnie asked after he finished a can of beer.

"Mmm?"

"Do you get groupies?"

Scott laughed and took his cigarette out of his mouth. "Yeah, but I'm a loyal and loving husband."

Ronnie jeered. "Sure," he said sarcastically. 

“Besides, I don’t want my wife’s brother beating the utter tar shit out of me.”

Ronnie snorted. "Well, I'll admit, I've broken a few noses."

"That really helps me sleep at night."

Ronnie took a little bow. "Glad to be of service."

Scott put out his cigarette in the grass and stuffed it into his beer can, which was now empty. "What's something you've never told anyone?"

Ronnie put out his cigarette and sat up. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Well, you can see I wasn't lying about the various nicks and scars I have," he began, rubbing his shoulder. "But this one," he said, pointing at the thin white line below his belly button, "I got it from a knife." 

Scott nodded. 

Ronnie pulled up his swim trunks and showed Scott the scar on his thigh, an ugly, jagged pinkish line. "I got this one from the same knife. The difference is the one on my stomach happened during an interrogation, and the other one I did myself.” 

Scott stared at him. “You did that? Wait, are you saying you tried to kill yourself in ‘Nam?”

Ronnie nodded. "I thought I was gonna die. I wanted to die."

"Jesus Christ," Scott muttered. "Does anyone else know?"

Ronnie shook his head and pulled his swim trunk's leg back down. “I mean, when they found me, I was surrounded in my own blood, but I think they assumed some guard did it to me. You did ask what was something no one knows about you.”

Scott glanced at Ronnie's leg before speaking. “Well, I should say something.” 

Ronnie ran his hand through his hair. "Yes, you should."

Scott swallowed and looked at Ronnie with a very serious face. "Swear that you won't say anything to Beth."

Ronnie cocked a brow. "That scandalous?"

"Please." He was almost begging.

"Yeah, of course. You better not say anything to Beth about me."

Scott nodded. "Agreed." He had a nervous look in his eyes.

"What is it?" Ronnie asked gently, sensing that what he was about to tell him was eating him up inside.  

Scott looked down at his trunks. "I uh... remember what happened at my bachelor party."

Ronnie's face tightened, and he looked at the ring around his neck. He felt Scott looking at him.

"Do you?"

Ronnie was silent. He looked up at Scott and saw a pair of grey eyes staring back. He nodded.

Ronnie wanted to break his gaze away from Scott, but he couldn't. He had stared at him drunk, and now he was staring at him sober, finding his thoughts the same. Scott was handsome, beautiful almost.

Scott leaned toward Ronnie after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Ronnie leaned toward him as well, almost drawn to him. He felt Scott put a hand to his chest, tracing upward to his left shoulder. It left his shoulder and went down his spine, his touch causing Ronnie to jerk forward in surprise. Their foreheads were now touching.

Ronnie stopped breathing. He met Scott's eyes, now barely inches away from his. He couldn't read them. Ronnie had no idea what Scott was thinking. It didn't help.

Finally, Ronnie gently placed his hand on Scott's chest, on his eagle tattoo. He exhaled deeply. His hand didn't stay there long, and he started to trail down his bare chest. Both of them were breathing heavily, and Ronnie could feel Scott's breath, fast and heavy. The hand went down his stomach, past his navel, where it stopped where Scott's swim trunks were. 

He lingered there for a few seconds before slipping his hand into Scott's trunks. It felt like his own, yet so foreign. Ronnie's hand found Scott's cock, and he touched it.

Scott moaned in response.

Ronnie immediately took his hand out of his trunks and stood up. He grabbed his clothes and walked off, refusing to look back. 

Scott just sat there, stunned at what had happened, now with a very noticeable erection. 

 

***

 

The car ride home was dead silent. Neither of them spoke to each other or even made eye contact. Scott drove while Ronnie sat in the backseat, staring out the window, smoking. It was the most awkward atmosphere Ronnie had ever been in, and he needed to get out. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Scott pulled up into the driveway. He stopped the car, pulled the keys out of the ignition, and opened the car door. He got out and shut the door before walking towards the house. Ronnie stayed in the car a bit longer. He sighed as he put out his cigarette. Ronnie stared at the back of the headrest of the seat in front of him. It was made of black leather, the same as the rest of the chairs. 

Ronnie got out of the car and slammed the door shut. The front door was open, and he could see Scott speaking to Beth. Beth saw him and waved him over. 

"Hey," she greeted, kissing his cheek.

"Howdy," Ronnie replied, smiling at her. 

She looked at both of them. "How was it? You're back a bit earlier than I thought you'd be."

"It was fun, but it started to get hot, and neither of us brought sunscreen, so we went home," Scott answered, scratching the back of his head. 

"I told you to bring it," Beth scolded. 

Scott rolled his eyes.

Beth then turned back to Ronnie. "I have to leave soon," she said with a frown.

"Why?" Ronnie asked, surprised. He quickly glanced at Scott, who looked just as surprised as he was.

"I'm having dinner with Peter and his family."

"Who's Peter?"

"Peter Church, he's my manager," Scott replied. "I didn't know you were having dinner with him."

"You should stay longer, get away from the crowds, if that's okay with Ronnie, of course," she said, glancing at Ronnie.

Ronnie shrugged. "I... I don't care."

Beth grinned. "I was also thinking that I could take Benjamin with me since we've been having so much fun together, and he never gets out. Peter also has kids around his age."

Ronnie nodded. "I'm okay with that, as long as you bring him back."

Beth chuckled. "You'll pick him up tomorrow?"

"I'll bring Scott so we can trade back." 

Beth laughed again, and Ronnie could hear Scott suppressing one. 

Beth's eyes lit up suddenly. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, but there's a leak in the guest closet. You need to fix it. I noticed it yesterday, but I forgot to tell you.”

Ronnie nodded. “I know. I just haven't gotten around to it,” he said, looking away from Beth. He already knew about the leak, but he had been too afraid to touch it. The claustrophobic environment of a closet didn't help with his irrational fear of water. “Scott, would you mind fixing it since you're staying the night? I have tools in the garage.”

Beth's eyebrows scrunched up. "Why does he have to do it? It's your house," she questioned, looking quite surprised. 

Ronnie swallowed. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets because they started to shake. So much for making progress.

"Elizabeth, it's fine, I don't mind," Scott said. "I owe him for the beer anyway."

Beth eyed Ronnie up and down. "Okay, I'll go tell Benjamin," she said, with a hint of curiosity in her voice. 

Beth left with Benjamin about two hours later. She had helped him pack his little suitcase, which had been a Christmas gift from Mary. She took Scott's Camaro, who seemed sad to part from his baby.

"I'll miss you," he said, kissing Beth on the cheek.

"You mean you'll miss your car?"

Scott looked down and laughed. "Maybe."

Ronnie crouched down to Benjamin, who was holding Beth's hand. "You listen to your Aunt Beth, okay?"

Benjamin nodded. "Yes, Daddy."

Ronnie kissed his son's forehead and stood back up. "See you tomorrow."

Beth nodded. "You too." She turned around and left the living room, through the front door, and out of Ronnie's sight. 

Scott closed the front door and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. Ronnie sat on the couch and turned on the tv, purposely ignoring Scott. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scott holding his beer, walking towards the guest room. Ronnie waited for a few more seconds until he heard Scott close his door. 

He turned off the tv and went to the fridge. He pulled out a pizza box they had eaten last night and opened it. There were three slices of cheese left. He sat back down on the couch and ate them, not bothering to heat them. It was a hassle to use the oven. He left the box on the couch and went to his bedroom when he finished. 

The alarm clock on his nightstand said it was 5:02. Ronnie decided to shower since he didn't have anything better to do, so he stripped off his clothes and went into his bathroom. He turned on the shower and got in, not bothering to wait for it to heat up.  He didn't get out of the shower until his hands were wrinkled. 

After getting out of the shower, Ronnie put on a clean pair of boxers, grey striped pajama bottoms, and a beige tank top. He brushed his teeth and left the bathroom, leaving his towel next to his dirty clothes. He sat down on his bed and sighed. Although he had probably done the stupidest thing in his life today, he hadn't seen Nguyệt since Thursday. Maybe she knew he would make life regretting decisions and decided to give him a break. Or maybe his sleeping pills were finally working. 

He decided to pull out the wooden box under his bed, the one with photos from Vietnam. he put the box on his bed and opened it. It was just photos now, considering the one trinket that was in there was now around Ronnie's neck. He picked up a photo of Benjamin when he was a newborn. Benjamin was sleeping in the photo, swaddled in a dark green blanket. It seemed like a lifetime ago. 

He didn't pay attention to the next photo he grabbed because he heard the door knock. "Yeah?"

The door opened, and Scott walked in. He was still wearing the clothes he had worn earlier. He closed the door behind him and stared awkwardly at Ronnie. Ronnie stared back until Scott sat down on the bed, still maintaining a distance. 

"What are those?" Scott asked, breaking the silence.

"They're from Vietnam."

Scott nodded. "Can I see?"

Ronnie handed him the photograph he was already holding, making sure their hands didn't touch. 

Scott looked at the photo and laughed. 

Ronnie cocked a brow. "What?"

"I'm glad you didn't keep the bald look."

Ronnie smirked. "Yeah, me too."

"I uh fixed the leak, by the way."

Ronnie nodded. "Thanks. Um, sorry for asking." 

"It's cool. I didn't mind."

Ronnie scratched his cheek. "Like I said earlier, I’m not a big water enthusiast. Especially in small, dark rooms."

Scott nodded and handed the photo back to Ronnie. The next photo Ronnie pulled out was one of Nguyệt, only in a bra and panties. She was laughing. Ronnie remembered taking it, it was the last picture he ever took of her. 

"Was that your wife?"

Ronnie nodded sadly.

"She was very beautiful," he muttered. 

Ronnie put both photos back in the box and put the box under his bed. It was silent again, except for the fan, which made a tiny creaking noise. Ronnie looked at his feet, his heart pounding. What was he supposed to say?

"Um, look... about earlier," Ronnie began, "I shouldn't have-." He stopped talking when he looked up and saw Scott staring at him again. 

Scott moved closer to Ronnie and started to lean toward him. He stopped when their noses touched. Ronnie felt him take a shaky breath. 

Ronnie planned to say something but stopped when Scott cocked his head slightly and placed his lips on Ronnie's. Ronnie didn't back away, but he made no attempt to deepen it. Both his and Scott's eyes were still open, just staring into each other's pupils. 

Ronnie breathed out through his nostrils and put his hand on Scott's face, cupping the right side. He moved his lips into a better position and kissed Scott, closing his eyes. He could feel Scott grabbing the back of his neck. Ronnie opened his eyes and broke the kiss, standing up.

Scott grabbed Ronnie's arm and pulled Ronnie towards him. Ronnie moved towards Scott and straddled him like Scott had done to him that night in the hotel room. He stared at Scott, whose eyes now looked lustful. He grabbed Scott's face with both of his hands harshly and shoved his tongue into his mouth. Scott complied and did the same, running his hands through Ronnie's hair. 

Ronnie's hands dropped from Scott's face and went to his shirt, where he began to unbutton the buttons. Scott noticed and pushed Ronnie off. He stood up himself and pushed Ronnie into the wall as their lips greedily made contact again. 

Scott finished unbuttoning his shirt and tugged it off while Ronnie undid Scott's belt from his jeans. He threw the belt onto the floor and broke away from him again. 

"Fuck," he panted, peeling off his tank top as Scott turned off the light, leaving them in darkness.

Scott pushed himself into Ronnie, their crotches touching. Both of them were hard. Scott started kissing Ronnie's neck. Ronnie arched his head back and unbuttoned Scott's jeans. He felt Scott's teeth on his neck, and he let out a moan. He heard Scott groan. 

Ronnie pushed Scott off him again and pulled down his pants, underwear, and all. He kicked them off his legs and stood before Scott, completely naked. Ronnie stepped toward Scott and pushed him onto the bed.  He crawled on top of him and finished undoing Scott's jeans before dragging them off, underwear included.

They were both now naked. Scott sat up and pushed Ronnie onto the bed, switching positions. 

"Turn around," Scott whispered.

Ronnie looked at him. He turned around but crawled over to his nightstand and opened it. He pulled out a small container and tossed it to Scott. "It's Vaseline. Lola likes anal," he explained quietly.

Scott snorted. He leaned down until Ronnie felt Scott's breath on his back. He turned his head so he could see what Scott was doing. Scott was hovering over him, doing nothing. His hair draped over his forehead, making him look younger than he actually was. They made eye contact, and Ronnie realized Scott was waiting. 

Ronnie nodded quietly. He turned back and exhaled deeply as Scott opened the lubricant. The cap made a popping noise, and then Ronnie heard Scott touching the actual Vaseline. He didn't bother to look back. 

He felt Scott touch his right hip and then his side. He closed his eyes as Scott touched his ass. His hand was warm and sweaty. Scott didn't waste any time. He quickly covered his cock and then touched Ronnie's ass with a lubricated finger. Ronnie gasped at the touch as Scott rubbed his finger across his asshole.

Ronnie didn't like the feeling, especially when he felt Scott shove the same finger inside him. His muscles clenched at the foreign object, and Ronnie groaned quietly.

Scott pulled his finger out and spread Ronnie's ass apart, now kneeling behind him. Ronnie sat up, so he was on his knees as well. He glanced back at Scott, knowing what he was gonna do. 

Scott stared back at him as he positioned himself with one hand as Ronnie leaned into him, his back touching Scott's stomach and chest, feeling his erection pressed up against him. 

Scott pushed Ronnie back, so he was on his hands and knees. Ronnie grabbed his sheets tightly with one hand as he braced for what was about to happen.

Scott exhaled loudly, grabbed Ronnie's hips, and pushed himself roughly, groaning as he did. Ronnie tightened his grip on the sheet as he groaned. Scott didn't wait to go all the way in and immediately thrust, slamming his hips into Ronnie's backside.

Ronnie gasped and grunted, shutting his eyes tightly. 

It was painful, rough, and guttural. And yet, as Scott quickened his pace, Ronnie started to moan in a mix of pain and pleasure rather than just pain. His free hand left the mattress, and he grabbed his own erect cock, feeling the pre-come as he touched it. He began to stroke it, matching it to the rhythm of Scott's thrusting. 

Scott was a groaning and moaning mess, covered in sweat, gasping for air as he wrapped his hands around Ronnie's waist. Ronnie knew it would bruise.

They continued at this in mostly silence, other than the inhuman noises of sexual pain and pleasure. Ronnie dropped his head to the mattress as he felt himself close. He kept stroking, eyes shut, feeling himself get fucked. 

He came first. Ronnie let go of his cock as it shot the white sticky fluid all over his sheets, gasping. He collapsed into the bed, all the while Scott was still going. Scott lasted a bit longer until Ronnie felt and heard him pull out suddenly and coming into the sheets next to him. Scott groaned loudly as he came, panting. He felt empty, having gotten used to Scott.

The two of them lay there, panting, covered in sweat, Vasoline, semen, and spit in the dark. Quietly. Ronnie was so tired he didn't even bother with cleaning the drying semen on his stomach. He passed out to the sound of Scott breathing like a dog and the creaky fan spinning.

Notes:

we did it folks

Chapter 54: Consequences (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

The boys deal with regret, disgust, and shock the next day

 

CW: Internalized homophobia, some sexual content

Notes:

happy sunday! i can't belive next week is easter

Chapter Text

Chapter 54: Consequences

 

The Next Morning



Scott woke up before Ronnie. He opened his eyes and found himself staring at a picture on a nightstand. It was a picture of Benjamin on his second birthday, his face covered in cake. He sat up in the bed and saw Ronnie on the other side, sleeping. Rubbing his eyes, Scott got out of bed and stood up. 

The air in the room was cold, and Scott got goosebumps on his legs and arms. He scratched his bare chest and glanced back at Ronnie, who was still sleeping. He looked younger when he was asleep. It was his eyes that made him seem older than he actually was. 

They had a look in them like Ronnie had been to hell and back, and stared the devil right in the eye, which could be true for Ronnie considering what happened to him. Not to mention his left eye was permanently dilated, like David Bowie's, except Scott recalled David's eyes were brown when he met him. 

Scott took a deep breath and went to the other side of the room to pick up his discarded dirty clothes. He left the room quietly, closing the door behind him. The house was quiet without other people. Scott decided he didn't like the silence and immediately went to the guest room, where he grabbed clothes from his suitcase. He left the room and went to the bathroom, locking the door immediately.

Scott set down his clothes on the toilet seat lid and stepped into the bathtub. He turned on the showerhead and stood near the end of the tub until the water was hot. When it warmed up, he stepped into the shower's stream, water pouring onto his body and face.

He grabbed the bar of soap on the side of the tub and lathered his hands before harshly scrubbing his chest, arms, and legs. Scott washed his hair and then turned off the shower, not bothering to condition it. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel hanging on the metal rack next to the tub. He wrapped himself in the towel and stared at the mirror, which was now foggy and clouded up. 

Pushing his wet hair out of his face, Scott reached his hand out and wiped the foggy mirror until he could see his reflection. He stared at himself, watching beads of water fall from his hair down his face. He closed his eyes, only to have images from the night before appear. They danced around in his head until Scott couldn't take it anymore, and he opened his eyes, gasping loudly. 

He took a step back into the wall, shaking as his face paled. He doubled over and realized he was going to throw up, so he shoved his clothes off the toilet seat, opened it, and puked into the bowl. 

When he finished, he sat back on the floor and wiped his mouth. He had never felt so disgusted in his life. He was disgusting, revolting. Tears began to pour out of his eyes, and it wasn't long until he buried his face in his knees and chest, sobbing. 

 

***

 

Ronnie woke to the realization that he had no dreams. At first, he was relieved, but then he remembered what had happened during the night. His eyes widened in shock.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered. 

Ronnie looked to his left and saw no one was there. He sat up and looked at the floor, only seeing his own clothes. 

Maybe it was a dream, Ronnie thought. You're naked, it smells like sweat and sex in here, and not to mention your ass is sore, a voice inside his head replied. It wasn't a dream, idiot.

Ronnie stood up and found that he was sorer than he originally thought he was. He touched the back of his right thigh and looked at his feet. Scott had pulled out before he came, so if you excluded the sex-stained sheets and the dried come on his stomach, there was practically no physical evidence of what happened the night before. Well, maybe there was some evidence. 

Ronnie went into his bathroom and took a quick shower, washing Scott off his body. Afterward, he changed into a red button-up shirt and jeans. He flattened his hair with his hands before opening the door and leaving, closing the door behind.

The smell of fresh cigarettes hit Ronnie's nose as soon as he stepped out. He sniffed and walked out of the hallway his bedroom was in. A pit in his stomach was beginning to form.

He saw Scott sitting on the end of the couch, smoking a cigarette. His hair was a wet brown color, so Ronnie assumed he had showered too. He didn't look up when Ronnie entered. The pit in Ronnie's stomach grew. 

Ronnie went into the living room and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. He sighed deeply and stared at his hands. Although it had healed a while ago, Ronnie's right hand got stiff sometimes, and it was hard to bend it. When he stretched out his fingers, his pointer finger was slightly bent, a result of the broken hand. Ronnie didn't really notice it anymore, but he had to take constant breaks when he was writing something nowadays. 

"What the fuck are we gonna do now?" Ronnie asked after a long time of silence.

Scott swallowed and put out his cigarette, leaving it in the ashtray on the coffee table. "We leave it at that, don't talk about it, and pretend it never happened," he replied, staring at the ground. 

"You think it was that bad?" Ronnie muttered. He felt the same way Scott did, but he couldn't deny that he didn't enjoy it, as horrified as he was. 

Scott shook his head no. "It's because it wasn't. I-" He bit his lip and sighed. "I just... I just cheated on my wife. With a man. Who happens to be her brother. My brother-in-law. You got a fucking girl too. It's fucking horrifying and disgusting."

Ronnie remained silent. 

"I'm not homophobic. I-I know gay people. I just-uh," he paused, taking in a deep breath.

Ronnie swallowed. "I ain’t a fag."

"I didn't say you were," Scott mumbled defensively. 

"I've never done anything like that in my life. Not here, not in the fucking war, not anywhere—oh my god, what have we done?" Ronnie said, burying his face into his face. 

"We did it, we can... we have to live on that, and we'll act as if nothing happened."

"You can't even blame liquor. We were as sober as a fucking baby," Ronnie muttered.

"Ronnie," Scott began. His voice sounded calm.

Ronnie looked up from his hand and stared at Scott. He could see in his eyes that he was panicky as well. "Nothing happened, okay?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah." 

The drive to Scott and Beth's was probably worse than the drive from the river. The tension that had been there yesterday was gone, replaced with regret and shock. Like yesterday, neither of them spoke the entire ride, except this ride was way longer. 

Ronnie refused to look at Scott or even make eye contact with him in the rearview mirror. Ronnie kept his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles started to turn white. He had an urge to smoke, but he resisted it because it meant he'd have to move and see Scott. 

Ronnie pulled up at Scott's house roughly an hour and a half later. It was around 11 in the morning, and Beth's car was gone, so Ronnie assumed Beth had gone to church and taken Benjamin with her.

Great, Ronnie thought. Now he'd have to spend even more time with Scott. They both went into the house, but Ronnie stayed on the front porch because he wanted to smoke. 

Ronnie lit his cigarette and put it in his mouth, inhaling the smoke. He watched as the occasional car drove by and noticed that all of the cars on the street, either in motion or parked, were all probably the cost of his mortgage. He felt out of place in such a wealthy neighborhood. He and his sisters had grown up lower middle class with immigrant parents, and now Beth was married to a millionaire. Ronnie definitely had gotten the short end of the stick.

As almost on cue, a small car pulled into the driveway. Ronnie could see it was Beth in the driver's seat. He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and stepped on it to put it out. He then kicked the bud into the grass so Beth wouldn't see. 

She got out of the car and waved when she saw Ronnie. Ronnie walked over to her. 

"Hello," he greeted, kissing her cheek. 

"Someone's in a good mood," Beth mused, opening the backdoor of her car to get Benjamin.

Ronnie almost scoffed out loud. He was glad to see Beth because that meant he could leave faster. 

Benjamin wiggled out of the car and jumped when he saw his father. "Daddy!"

Ronnie smiled and picked Benjamin up. "How was your sleepover with Aunt Beth?"

Benjamin nodded and grinned. "Good! We had do-nuns."

"You had donuts?"

Beth nodded. "Yeah, I took him to get some after church. Too bad you missed it, he was quite well-behaved. I'm surprised he's related to you."

Ronnie smirked. "Well, I can tell he's hyper now," he muttered, watching as his son squirmed in his arms.

"Where's Scott?"

Ronnie shrugged. "I think he's inside." 

Beth nodded.

"Where's Benjamin's suitcase?"

"It's inside. Are you leaving right now?"

Ronnie nodded. "I have an early meeting tomorrow morning, and I wanna prepare early."

Beth looked slightly disappointed. "Oh... I was hoping we could have lunch."

"Don't blame me, blame my boss," Ronnie said, shrugging. He was amazed by how easily he could lie.

"I'll go get his suitcase, it'll be faster if you wait out here," Beth said, walking towards the porch. 

"Okay," Ronnie replied, watching her go into the house. 

Ronnie waited for a few more minutes before he saw Beth come back outside holding a small suitcase. Behind her was Scott, who had changed into a tank top and cut-off shorts. 

"Here's his suitcase," Beth said, holding it up. 

"Can you put it in the back while I buckle Benjamin up?" Ronnie asked, adjusting Benjamin in his arms. 

Beth nodded and turned to Scott. "Can you help me?"

Scott shrugged. "Sure."

Scott followed Beth to the trunk of Ronnie's car. He opened it and saw it was empty except for an empty carton of cigarettes. Beth pursed her lips at the sight of the cigarette carton, but she didn't say anything and put the suitcase inside. Scott shut the trunk and stepped away from the car.

He heard the car engine start and saw that Ronnie was in the driver's seat. He gave Beth a wave and turned around to pull out of the driveway. Scott watched him drive away until he couldn't see his car anymore. He almost sighed in relief but remembered Beth was next to him. 

"Let's go inside," Scott mumbled, heading towards the porch.

Beth nodded and followed him. 

When they were both inside the house and Beth had closed the front door, Scott walked over to her and kissed her lips. She kissed him back, but when he grabbed her ass and tried to slip his tongue in her mouth, she let go.

"Someone's horny."

Scott responded by taking off his shirt. He picked Beth up bridal style, who giggled, and carried her into their bedroom. He kicked the door open and tossed Beth onto the bed.

"Was Ronnie's really that bad?" Beth asked, a playful smirk on her face. 

Scott climbed on top of her and kissed her neck. Beth ran her hands through his and moaned softly. Scott felt himself harden as he pulled up Beth's dress to her stomach.

Chapter 55: The Third Bottle of Tequila (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Scott finds a producer and makes a drunken choice

 

CW: Brief casual internal period-typical homophobia

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 55: The Third Bottle of Tequila

 

April 1973, Riverside, California



It had been over a month since it had happened. A month since the stupidest thing Scott ever pulled had happened. Scott had felt so bad and guilty, he ended up getting a stress rash across his chest.  It was gone now, but the fact that Beth had crooned over it and offered to apply rash cream on it made him feel worse. He hadn't seen Ronnie since, but even if he wasn't actively avoiding him, Scott had been too busy to see him anyway. 

But that wasn't the worst part. It now constantly replayed in his head, and he didn't feel as guilty anymore. Maybe he wouldn't admit it to himself out front, but some part of him wanted to see Ronnie again. Of course, he constantly denied it to himself, so now it felt like his brain was warring with each other, and the result was a splitting headache.

Tonight, he had a meeting and dinner with Peter, his manager, and Mark Ellis, a potential producer Scott was thinking about hiring for his next album. He had been introduced to Ellis at a party of a mutual friend. Ellis had his own recording studio too, which meant Scott wouldn't have to record at the Capitol Records studio, which he hated.  It was clunky and too close to all the executives. Plus, it was more expensive.

"Where are you meeting this guy?" Beth asked from the couch.

"Riverside. I don't know what's up there other than that your brother works there, but Peter seemed content with it," Scott replied, buttoning his shirt. He didn't bother to button the top three buttons.

"It's already 9. How long are you going to be out?"

"I don't think I'll come home tonight. I'll get a hotel room or something if it goes the way I hope it goes." 

"And how do you think it will go?" Beth asked, raising a brow.

Scott almost grimaced. She kind of looked like her brother when she did that. "Well, we get him drunk and then influence him to charge less."

Beth rolled her eyes. 

A horn honked loudly out of nowhere, startling both of them. 

"That must be Peter," Scott muttered.

Beth nodded. She stood up from the couch and walked over to him. "I'll see you later," she said, standing on her tiptoes and pulling Scott down so she could kiss his lips. 

Scott had always thought it was adorable that she still couldn't reach his face on her toes. "You too," he answered.

Scott grabbed his wallet and car keys on the kitchen bar and went outside, where a car on the street was waiting. Scott jogged over to the driver's seat, where he opened the door. In the driver's seat sat a 36 year old man with thin brown hair, a two week old beard, and small brown eyes.

"Took you long enough," Peter said as soon as Scott opened the door.

"Had to say goodbye to the missus," Scott replied.

"Well, in this business, she better get used to saying goodbye. Also, we need to talk about doing another tour. Your album's not gonna stay on the charts unless you tour. Wonder how Pink Floyd is still number one?" Peter rambled.

"She's pregnant," Scott replied, putting a cigarette in his mouth. "And I did a press tour almost immediately after my honeymoon. I played a couple of shows then."

"Those don't count. You're big now. You have a large enough audience to play in stadiums and arenas."

Scott nodded, lighting his cigarette. "It's crazy how popular my music's gotten. I already have two Grammys."

"Exactly, hence why you need to tour. It's in your contract anyway. You have to tour next year. Got it?"

Scott took the cigarette out of his mouth. "Got it."

"I'm meeting with your label and others to begin planning a stadium tour in two weeks," Peter informed him. 

"How far out is Riverside?" Scott asked, dropping his cigarette and kicking it onto the asphalt.

"The restaurant is an hour and 15 minutes from your place, so get in your car so we can leave."

"It takes forever to go anywhere here," Scott complained. "I should have moved to New York."

"Well, maybe in the future, AFTER you tour, you can move somewhere else," Peter answered. 

Scott rolled his eyes and closed Peter's door before going over to his car and getting in. He started it and pulled out of the driveway, following Peter's car out of the neighborhood and onto the highway. 

The restaurant was nothing like Scott expected. He had thought the meeting was gonna be held at some nightclub, but when they arrived, it turned out to be a Mexican restaurant. He gave Peter a funky look when they both parked and had gotten out.

"I thought it was a nightclub."

Peter shook his head. "Nope. Ellis paid the restaurant so we can eat and talk late."

Scott nodded. "Is he trying to show off?"

"A white guy has a meeting with two other white guys at a Mexican restaurant at 10 in the evening. I think he's trying to get our attention," Peter mused.

"Well, he has mine." 

Peter smirked. "Let's go, Blondie." 

The restaurant was completely empty except for a few waiters and the owner of the place, who happily shook hands with Scott, and then almost fell from joy when Scott greeted him in Spanish. When he recovered from his shock, he led the two to the back of the restaurant, where a man with salt and pepper hair sat, drinking a piña colada. 

"Ah, I see you've met Manolo. He runs a nice restaurant, and he lets me have all my late-night meetings here," he said, setting down his drink and smiling at Manolo.

Manolo laughed before leaving. 

The man stood up from the booth and got out. "Mark Ellis, nice to meet you."

Peter shook his hand. "Peter Church, we've talked over the phone, and this is the star of the show, Scott Stern." 

Scott shook Mark's hand. "Nice to see you again."

"Please, sit down," Mark said, gesturing to the booth. He then waved over one of the few people on duty. "Get some menus." 

The waiter nodded and left. Mark sat back down, and Scott and Peter sat opposite him. 

Mark clapped his hands together. "So, let's talk music. Stern, how do you feel about your latest album?"

Scott shrugged. "It's too slow for me honestly, the producers I worked with really wanted a Beatles album. I ain't Paul McCartney last time I checked."

Mark nodded. 

"My wife loves it, though. It's her favorite. Probably because of the Beatles thing."

"So for your next album, what would you want?"

Scott shrugged. "More rock, maybe less on the psychedelic, but I don't know. I really do like Dark Side of the Moon. And Led Zeppelin."

Mark nodded. "Okay, so more guitar and lyrical based."

"Yeah," Scott agreed. 

The waiter came back with the menus and handed them to Scott and Peter.

"Can you bring a bottle of tequila over?" Peter asked, glancing at the menu.

The waiter nodded and left. 

"What about your band? I heard that you need a drummer and a bass player," Mark asked, lighting a cigar.

"You heard right. My cousin and his girlfriend, who was my bassist and drummer, got married, and now they're retiring because she's pregnant, and John wants to work for his father-in-law’s company. Sam, my guitarist, is also now in a serious relationship, and I'm worried he'll quit too."

"That sucks."

Scott nodded.

"You'd think that touring for a living would be more fun and more money," Peter remarked. 

Mark took his cigar out of his mouth and tapped it on the ashtray in front of him. "I know some people who'd love to do that. I can give you names later."

Scott smiled. "Thank you."

They came to a general agreement by the third bottle of tequila. Mark would produce Scott's next album, and Scott would hopefully have more freedom artistically. By the end of the meeting, Scott knew he was drunk.  Peter and Mark were probably drunk too, but Scott wasn't paying attention to them. It was almost 2 in the morning, and he was tired.

"Do you want me to get you a hotel room nearby?" Peter asked in the parking lot.

Scott shook his head and rubbed his face. "Nah, I'll just drive home."

"You shouldn't be driving."

"Neither should you," Scott replied.

Peter just rolled his eyes. "I'll see you Thursday?"

Scott nodded. 

After watching Peter drive away, Scott got into his own car. He had told him he'd drive home, but he honestly had no interest in going home. It was too dark and too far away. He wasn't sure where to go, so he let his instincts take him.

The next thing Scott knew, he was driving past the San Bernardino county line sign. Ronnie's county. Why the hell was he going to Ronnie's? Wasn't he trying to avoid him? Didn't he want to avoid him? Or did he want him? Scott wasn't sure anymore. He had felt so disgusted with himself, but now he didn't know if he was or not.

Perhaps he was just drunk, and they weren't his real feelings. Maybe he was just sick in the head. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked himself.

You know it's what you want, even if it takes some liquor to spit it out, a voice inside of his head replied. 

"Great, I'm going insane too," Scott murmured. 

All the lights in Ronnie's house were out, and the surrounding forest made it look creepy. Well, creepier considering Ronnie lived in an old, small house. Scott parked his car on the small driveway and got out. 

This is your last chance to leave. Just turn around, go back to your car, and leave. Scott's head filled with demanding thoughts.

He was on the doorstep now. If he knocked, it'd be too late. He took a deep breath and pushed his thoughts away. He knocked on the door three times loudly before stepping back.

"Fuck," Scott muttered. 

A light suddenly flickered on, and Scott heard footsteps coming towards the door. The door unlocked, and it opened, revealing Ronnie. He was wearing a white t-shirt and boxers. His black hair stuck out, and he had eye bags under his eyes. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"It's 2 in the morning, what-" Ronnie paused when he realized it was Scott. “Why the hell are you here?”

Scott looked at his shirt. "I think... I wanted to see you."

Ronnie sighed. He leaned towards Scott and sniffed. "You're drunk."

Scott smirked. "Yeah, probably."

Ronnie rubbed his face. "You can’t be here. We made a promise. You made a promise."

“Well, it was really more of an agreement, and I can't stop thinking about it.”

Ronnie sighed again, but Scott could see it in his eyes: I have too.  

“Scott, you were the one that made-”

He interrupted him. “I know, but-”

“Look, we can't. We already slept together, and we'll just have to live off of that.”

Scott looked at Ronnie, grabbed him, and kissed his lips harshly.

Ronnie's eyes widened in shock, but he almost immediately gave in, pulling Scott into the house. Scott kicked the door shut as Ronnie pulled him towards his bedroom. 

Notes:

YALL THEY CAST PERCY FOR THE PJO SHOW WOOOOOOOO IT'S SO PERFECT!!!

Currently reverting back to 12 year old me for the time being. But like seriously I'm quite excited about the show, Percy Jackson was my shit (Literally, I have 28 of Rick Riordan's books), and plus I share the same birthday as him not to flex or anything...💅🏻

Chapter 56: Michelle from San Francisco (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Ronnie and Lola go out for their first anniversary with Lola's friend.

CW: Some sexual content

Notes:

Happy Easter (And a late Passover) to everyone who celebrates! My beta reader and her parents are coming over for dinner tonight, so I'm very excited. :)

also... HOLY FUCK 1.5K HITS AND 90 KUDOS WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 56: Michelle from San Francisco

 

May 1973, Anaheim, California



“Ronnie!” Lola's voice shouted above the loud music.

Ronnie turned around to see his girlfriend and standing next to her, a pretty Asian woman with short black hair wearing a low-cut blue sparkly jumpsuit. She looked around Ronnie's age, probably closer to his sister's.

“This is the friend I told you I'd introduce you to,” she said, smiling. 

"I'm Michelle," the girl said, holding her hand out. Michelle Park was a friend of Lola's who lived in San Francisco and was visiting. Lola had told him about her before, so it was nice to finally meet her in person. 

Ronnie nodded and shook it. "Ronnie."

For their first anniversary, Lola took Ronnie to the nightclub where they had first met, the Angelix. He hadn't been there since, but it looked the exact same it did a year ago: Loud music and sweaty bodies. The only difference was the music playing. 

Lola had planned the whole shebang and surprised him. All he knew before was that he would need a babysitter. Ronnie felt bad about not doing anything special for their anniversary. He had just bought her flowers and the usual cheesy crap.

Although they really didn't start dating until July, both of them considered May the start of their relationship. Besides, he hadn't seen Lola in a while anyway. He had been too busy with... well, with Scott. 

Never in a million years, Ronnie would have thought he’d have an affair, and never in a billion years, Ronnie would have thought it was a man. Ronnie wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He wasn't gay, but here he was, letting a guy fuck him. Scott wasn't gay either. What were they doing? Two straight guys hooking up? Ronnie wasn't sure, but he decided he didn't like thinking about that aspect.

He liked being with Scott. Although two months ago they were both shocked and horrified, now Ronnie probably saw Scott at least once a week. They didn't have sex every time. Sometimes they just talked. Scott was easy to open up to, way easier than Lola. The last person Ronnie had felt so comfortable telling things to was Bobby. 

There were still awkward moments. Neither of them dared to do anything in public. They were almost always at Ronnie's house since the only other person living there was Benjamin, who wouldn't remember anything when he was older anyway. After they did anything, both of them would always separate and lay on opposite sides of Ronnie's bed. Cuddling was too much. 

"Hey, Ronnie!" Lola's voice snapped him back into reality

Ronnie blinked hard. "Sorry."

"Reality that boring?" Michelle asked, a smirk on her face.

Ronnie chuckled. "Not anymore."

Michelle flashed a pearly white grin.

"You guys want something to drink?" Ronnie asked, looking at both girls. "I'll pay."

Lola nodded. "Margarita."

"A Bloody Mary," Michelle replied. 

"You actually like Bloody Marys?" Ronnie asked. He had always found the taste of it gross.

Michelle shrugged. "Not really, but it's the drink that gets me drunk the fastest."

"Fair enough," Ronnie said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. "You guys go dance or something, I'll be right back."

Ronnie left the two girls and made his way to the bar. They were already pretty close to the bar, so Ronnie could still see them while he ordered. 

"A margarita, a Bloody Mary, and a Moscow Mule," Ronnie said to the waiter. "Put the tab under McKittrick."

The bartender nodded.

Ronnie waited at the bar for 10 minutes before all three drinks were ready. He tipped the bartender a dollar and walked back to Lola and Michelle, who were speaking to each other quietly.

"Need help?" Lola asked when she saw him.

"Yeah, take your drink before I drop yours and mine," Ronnie replied, his fingers tightening the grip around the two glasses. 

Lola grabbed her margarita while Ronnie handed Michelle her Bloody Mary.

Ronnie took a sip of his Moscow Mule before making a sour face.

"What's wrong?" Lola asked.

"I was just reminded why I never order Moscow Mules," Ronnie replied, taking another sip.

"Why are you still drinking it?"

"I'm not wasting my money."

Lola rolled her eyes and made a face at Michelle: Men.

Michelle set the Bloody Mary down and cracked her knuckles. "Wanna dance?" She asked, looking at Ronnie.

Ronnie glanced at Lola for the seal of approval, deciding to deal with it—he wouldn’t be a spoilsport on their anniversary. She nodded.

"Have fun. I'll find the three of us a table while you do that."

Lola took their drinks and left. Ronnie looked at Michelle. 

"Ready?"

Michelle nodded and grabbed Ronnie's arm. She led him to the crowded dance floor and started dancing to the beat.

Ronnie followed along, but he was mainly focused on Michelle. Her head and hips swayed to the music. 

"Where are you from?" she asked, still dancing.

"Nebraska, but family's from Ireland. You're Korean, right?"

Michelle nodded. "My grandparents came here right before the first world war."

"How'd you meet Lola?" Ronnie asked.

"What? I can't hear you," Michelle whisper-yelled.

"I asked how'd you meet Lola!" Ronnie said, a bit louder.

"Summer of '70. Friend of a friend."

They talked a bit more while dancing until a more seductive song came on. Ronnie took it as his cue to get off the floor, but Michelle grabbed him.

"Don't be shy now," she teased. 

Michelle was dancing practically on him now. He felt her waist hitting his legs. He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought Michelle closer to his body. It felt good. A little too good.

Ronnie looked around to see Lola. He found her at one of the booths, sitting on the edge of her seat, legs crossed. She and Ronnie made eye contact, but she didn't look jealous or angry at all. Her face was relaxed, though her lips were curled in a smirk. It was the face Lola usually made before she and Ronnie did something sexual. Was... was Lola turned on? 

They made eye contact, and Lola raised her drinks to her lips. She took a sip of her margarita before setting it back down on the table. 

"What are you looking at?" Michelle asked.

“Lola.”

Michelle turned her head to where Lola was. "I see." She turned back to Ronnie. "Kinda wanna go back and keep drinking."

Ronnie let her go and nodded. "Off the dance floor and to the liquor."

"To Grandmother's house we go," Michelle muttered.

Ronnie snorted. 

"Back already?" Lola asked when they got to the table.

"We decided to drink more," Ronnie said, grabbing his Moscow Mule and chugging whatever was left. 

Lola nodded. "Reasonable."

The three of them had at least three or more drinks each. Ronnie was glad he had taken a taxi to the club because he wouldn’t have been able to drive home. He wasn't as drunk as he had been at Scott's bachelor party, but he was definitely more than tipsy. He paid for all the drinks and went outside to get a taxi home. Lola and Michelle stumbled behind him.

Lola came up right behind Ronnie and leaned into his ear. "Can Michelle come with us?" She whispered. 

Ronnie turned his head slightly. "Why?"

Lola bit Ronnie's ear lobe. "Why not?"

Ronnie then decided he was too tired and tipsy to care. "Okay."

The three of them got into the taxi, Lola squished in the middle. 

"Where to?" The driver asked.

"372 Holloway Drive, Running Springs."

The cab driver turned his head. "In San Bernardino county?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know it's gonna be expensive, whatever," Ronnie replied. 

The cab driver turned back around and started driving away from the nightclub. 

Ronnie leaned his head back and closed his eyes, listening to Lola and Michelle's incoherent giggling and whispers. Music played quietly from the radio, mixing into Ronnie's head. 

"32.98."

Ronnie opened his eyes and saw they were outside his house. Lola and Michelle were outside, just as energetic as they were when they got in the car. He sat up and groaned, pulling out his wallet.

"Jesus, that's fucking expensive," he mumbled, hanging the driver two twenties. "Tip," he said as he got out of the car. 

The driver nodded and drove away. Ronnie turned to the girls.

"Can you stay in the garage until the babysitter leaves? She's nosy."

Michelle nodded. "Sure."

Ronnie opened the garage door and then closed it after all three of them were inside. He unlocked the door to the house and stepped inside. The babysitter, a teenager who lived two streets down, sat on the couch watching television. 

"Hey," Ronnie said. 

She turned her head and smiled. "Oh, hello, Mr. McKittrick. Benjamin was wonderful, and he went to bed on time."

"It's Ronnie. I'm not that old," Ronnie replied, pulling a Lincoln out of his wallet. 

She stood up from the couch and took the money from him. "Thank you."

"See you next time," he said, opening the door to let her out. 

She nodded as she walked away from the house. Ronnie closed the front door and went to the garage door. He opened it, finding Lola smoking a cigarette and Michelle watching. 

"She's gone."

Lola dropped her cigarette and put it out with her foot. "Good," she said, stepping into the house and grabbing Ronnie by the collar.

Ronnie's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. 

She led him to his bedroom and opened the door. Ronnie turned and saw Michelle following them. Why was she following them?  

Lola pushed Ronnie onto his bed, and Michelle closed the door behind her. She stepped closer to Lola, kicking off her heels.

"What are you do-" Ronnie stopped mid-sentence as he watched Lola lock her lips onto Michelle's. 

Michelle pulled Lola closer to her body, pulling up her sparkly green mini-dress. Lola ran her hands through Michelle's hair, shoving her tongue down her throat. 

Ronnie watched in bewilderment. This was definitely not what he was expecting. He felt himself grow hard as he watched Michelle go down on Lola, pulling her thong to her knees. Lola moaned quietly and looked at Ronnie. She licked her lips and smirked.

"C'mere," she mouthed, pulling her dress off and throwing it to the floor. She wasn't wearing a bra. 

Ronnie stood up and began to unbutton his shirt as Michelle stood up and kissed Ronnie's lips. 

 

***

 

Ronnie lay naked on his bed. Michelle was passed out on his left while Lola was on his chest. He took deep breaths as he stared at his ceiling wall. He just had a threesome... and Lola liked girls?

"Lola," he whispered.

Lola looked up from his chest, makeup smudged across her face. "Hmm?"

"Do you like girls?"

Lola shrugged. "I swing both ways. You mind?"

Ronnie shook his head. "No, I don't." 

Notes:

Was this chapter solely written to state that Lola is bi?

Yeah, and what about it?

For Context

Bloody Mary: A type of cocktail made from vodka and seasoned tomato juice

Moscow Mule: A cocktail made with vodka, spicy ginger beer, and lime juice, garnished with a slice or wedge of lime.

32.98: 213.48-219.58 in today's money (I'm in denial of the inflation rate, so I put last year's amount too)

Chapter 57: Carry On (Vol I, Part IV)

Summary:

Beth realizes she is bleeding.

 

CW: Intense/upsetting scenes, see endnotes for spoiler

happy 4/20 :)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 57: Carry On

 

Thursday, May 24th, 1973, Long Beach, California



Beth heard the door open as she threw more chopped cloves of garlic into the skillet. They sizzled in the butter as she stirred them with a wooden spoon. She glanced up and saw Scott inhaling deeply and his eyes rolling to the back of his head. She shook her head and smirked.

"That smells amazing," he said, waltzing into the kitchen and kissing her cheek.

Beth beamed. "Thought I'd surprise you with garlic bread and chicken alfredo, your favorite."

Scott smiled. "You remembered?"

Beth laughed. "Of course, you talked about how amazing it was our entire honeymoon."

"Is there a special occasion today?" His eyes widened. "Did I forget something?"

Beth shook her head. "No, I just thought I'd make dinner and surprise you."

Scott kissed her other cheek. "Well, this is a wonderful surprise."

"Now shoo, I don't like cooking with other people in the kitchen."

Scott raised his hands. "Yes, ma'am."

He left the kitchen. "I'm gonna be in the backyard if you want me."

"If you smoke, I won't let you have a second helping of garlic bread," Beth replied.

"I will not be in the backyard if you want me," Scott muttered. 

She stepped away from the skillet and checked the sauce boiling in the saucepan. It was a creamy white substance that looked like something else if you were a pervert, not that Beth was one, but being married to one didn't help.

She put her hand on her stomach, which was now beginning to show. The bulge was small, and you only saw it if Beth wore extremely tight clothes or was nude, and she didn't like wearing tight clothes, so Scott only ever saw her little bump. 

"What do you think we should name it?" Beth asked, soaking a slice of bread in the garlic butter mix and letting it fry.

"For a girl, I think we should name her Seraphina."

"Seraphina? Where'd you get that?"

"It was the name of the waitress we had in the really fancy restaurant in Monaco." 

"Which one?"

"The one where we saw Grace Kelly."

Beth nodded and sighed. "That was amazing seeing her."

Scott agreed. "Well, the waitress's name was Séraphine, the French spelling of course, but it still counts."

Beth raised her brows. "You were thinking about her?"

"It wasn't like that, I just thought her name was pretty."

"It's nice, but it sounds too fancy, and I'm an Irish girl from Nebraska. Fancy isn't in the description."

"You're fancy to me," Scott replied.

Beth rolled her eyes. "And what if it's a boy?"

Scott was silent for a moment. "I like Dallas."

Beth was amused. "Dallas?" 

"Not after the city, I was thinking of the character from The Outsiders, it's my favorite book."

Beth nodded. "I never read it."

Scott was surprised. "Really? You're missin’ out, it's a great book."

"I'll keep that in mind," Beth remarked, flipping the bread in the skillet over. 

"What about you?" 

"Rosemary for a girl and Nathaniel for a boy," she said, taking out the toasted bread and putting another slice on. 

"Rosemary Seraphina Stern and Dallas Nathaniel Stern have a nice ring to it."

Beth smiled. "Yes, they do."

Beth's stomach began to hurt as she set down the plates on the dinner table. It was a dull pain, similar to a period cramp, but sharper. Her doctor had told her it was normal to get sudden pains, and they went away quickly, so Beth ignored it. 

The pain got worse as she began to eat, but Beth continued to ignore it, thinking that she was just hungry and needed to eat. She twirled the pasta with her fork and shoved it in her mouth, not caring if she slurped her noodles. Scott was right, it tasted amazing. 

She continued to eat until she felt a wave of pain come across. She grimaced and looked down. Her white skirt was stained red. Beth gasped loudly.

"What is it?" Scott asked, looking concerned. He then looked at Beth's chair. "Oh fuck."

He immediately stood up and went over to Beth, who was beginning to panic.

"What's going on? What's happening?"

"I'm-I'm gonna go get a towel and my wallet, and we're gonna drive to the hospital, okay?"

Beth nodded, tears welling up.

Scott ran towards their bedroom and came out a few seconds later holding two white towels. He wrapped Beth in both of them, picked her up, and carried her to his car. He unlocked and opened the door with one hand before putting Beth in the passenger seat. He quickly jogged to the other side and got in, putting the key in the ignition before pulling out of the driveway. 

Beth felt herself grow increasingly queasy as Scott drove. Tears spilled down her face as she clutched her stomach. What was happening to her baby?

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Beth had bled through both towels, staining Scott's leather seats. Scott didn't seem to care as he picked her up and walked towards the ER entrance.

Beth buried her face into his chest as the pain grew worse. "It hurts," she whispered.

"You'll be fine," Scott replied, though his face was pained.

She grew faint and felt herself losing consciousness as she heard Scott yell, "MY WIFE'S FUCKING BLEEDING, HELP!"

 

Friday, May 25th, 1973, Riverside, California

 

“MCKITRICK!” A gruff voice shouted.

Ronnie pushed himself out from under the car he was working on. “Yeah?”

“Phone call for you,” his boss said, crossing his arms.

Ronnie nodded and stood up, wiping his greasy hands on his oil-stained uniform. He walked over to the break room and picked up the phone. 

“Hello, This is Ronnie McKittrick.”

“It's Scott,” Scott said, his voice sounding dejected.

Ronnie's eyebrows furrowed in concern. “What's wrong?”

Scott sighed deeply. "Beth... miscarried last night."

Ronnie sat down on his desk. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. How is she?"

"Doc said that she'll be fine, but..."

Ronnie nodded. "I get it. Jesus, that's awful. You're doing the calls?"

"Yeah."

Ronnie sighed. "Look, I'll take off of work and come over right now."

"You don't have to do that."

"I'm the only family nearby. I have to."

"Okay," Scott replied quietly.

Ronnie hung up the phone and stood back. That wasn't something he was expecting to hear. He knew how excited Beth had been to become a mother, and now, she had lost everything. 

"Hey, Mr. Rudolpho!" He yelled over the loud noises of metal.

His boss, Mr. Rudolpho came in. "What is it?"

"I gotta family emergency. I needa take off."

"Right now?"

"Yes, sir."

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

Ronnie nodded.

Mr. Rudolpho waved his wand. "I'm counting this as vacation time."

Ronnie nodded as he headed towards the lockers. He took off his uniform and used their shower before leaving to pick up Benjamin. He picked him up quickly and continued driving. 

"Daddy?" Benjamin asked from the backseat.

"Yeah?"

It's not time to go,” Benjamin said, switching to his mother's tongue. 

Ronnie had been more frequently practicing Vietnamese with Benjamin to keep up his promise to Mr. Tran. Ronnie was a bit rusty, and he ended up buying grammar and language books to help both of them. It was almost like relearning the language. 

"I know, I picked you up early. We're going to Aunt Beth and Uncle Scott's house."

"Why?"

Ronnie sighed and switched back to English. "Do you remember when I told you Aunt Beth was gonna have a baby?"

"Yeah," Benjamin replied. 

"Well, she's not gonna have the baby anymore."

"Why?"

Ronnie paused. How could he dumb this down for a two year old? "Sometimes, people who are going to have babies don't."

Benjamin was silent for a second. "Okay," he chirped. 

Ronnie couldn't help but smile. That poor kid was clueless. 

After an hour of driving, Ronnie pulled into the house's driveway and stopped the car. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and looked at Benjamin.

"You better be on your best behavior. No yelling or running around, okay?" he said sternly. 

"Okay, Daddy."

Ronnie got out of the car and opened the backdoor so he could grab Benjamin. he picked Benjamin up and stood up straight, closing the car door with his foot. 

"Damn, you're gettin' heavy."

He walked up to the porch of the house and set Benjamin down. He yawned as he knocked on the door. After 20 seconds or so, the door opened, revealing Scott.

Scott looked awful. His eyes were bloodshot, and the bags under his eyes were a dark purple. He looked nothing like the cocky rockstar who had graced this month's cover of Rolling Stone. He ran his hand through his messy blond hair and gave Ronnie a half-smile.

"Hey."

Ronnie nodded. "Where's Beth?"

Scott cocked his head back. "Bedroom."

He stepped aside and walked back into the house, Ronnie and Benjamin following him. The house was oddly silent, something Ronnie found disturbing. There was always music playing in the background or something whenever he came over. 

Scott sat on the couch and sighed. "I can watch Benjamin while you talk to her."

Ronnie nodded. "Thanks."

"The hallway over there, last door," Scott mumbled. 

Ronnie nodded again and left. The hallway was big, twice the size of the hallway leading to his bedroom. It was decorated with pictures, and the occasional award hung on the wall. 

He stopped in front of the last door and knocked. No response. He knocked on the door again. No response. Ronnie decided to open the door and walk inside. 

He opened it, revealing a large bedroom. Lying on the bed was a blonde girl covered by blankets. Ronnie sighed and walked over to the bed before sitting down.

"I don't want to eat, Scott," Beth muttered from under the blanket.

"I'm not Scott," Ronnie replied. 

Beth looked up. Her face was red and swollen from crying. "Ronnie?"

Ronnie gave her a sad smile. "Hey, kiddo."

She sat up and wiped her face. "When did you get here?"

"Two minutes ago. I think." He looked his sister in the eye. "How are you?"

Beth sniffed. "I'm in pain, I'm bleeding, and I feel like I'm a fucking failure."

Ronnie was silent. Beth hardly ever swore. 

"Beth," Ronnie began, "You're not a failure. In fact, you're one of the strongest people I know. You know what you were doing when you were just 17? You lived by yourself, in a big city, and you had a job. When I was 17, I just played football, basketball, and got into fistfights."

Beth smirked slightly. 

"One day, when you're ready, you'll have a boatload of kids, all with blonde hair, just running around driving you nuts."

Beth leaned towards Ronnie and laid her head on his shoulder. He ruffled her hair and wrapped his arm around her. 

"You're gonna be okay, okay?"

Beth nodded. "Thanks for being here."

"Makin' up the time I lost," Ronnie replied. 

Ronnie ended up staying the night. He kept a spare change of clothes for Benjamin in his car since the kid seemed to really enjoy making a mess while eating. He had ordered pizza for the four of them, though only he and Benjamin ate, which worried Ronnie, considering Scott loved pizza as much as he did. 

He put Benjamin to bed in one of the guest rooms before sitting down on the couch next to Scott, who was drinking beer. Beth had gone to bed early for the night.

"Been a long day," Ronnie said, rubbing his lips with his fingers.

Scott scoffed.

"You should get some sleep. You look like utter shit."

"Thanks."

Ronnie looked at Scott. "I'm serious."

Scott rolled his shoulders and leaned back into the couch. "I've smoked two packs today. That's forty cigarettes."

"I used to smoke that much when I was younger."

"What happened?"

"I became a prisoner of war. Nicotine withdrawal really fucked me up, so now I only smoke up to a pack per day. It's an expensive habit too."

Scott nodded. 

Ronnie sighed. "How are you, really?"

Scott laughed. "I don't know." He scratched his neck. "I'm tryin' to hold it together because if I lose it, I don't think she'll get better." 

Ronnie saw Scott had tears welling up in his eyes. "Hey, it's okay," he said gently.

Scott stared at him, biting his lip as tears started to pour out of his eyes. He started shaking as he wiped his face. Ronnie put his hand on Scott's face. 

"It's okay," he whispered again. 

Scott buried his face into Ronnie's neck and began to sob. Ronnie was slightly taken aback by his suddenness, but he rubbed Scott's back and held his head, eventually running his hand through Scott's hair. He felt Scott's tears on his shirt and his shortness of breath on his neck. It felt heartbreaking and equally intimate. Ronnie felt that it was the most intimate moment he'd had with Scott, even though they were sleeping together. 

Ronnie looked up to where the hallway that led to Beth and Scott's room was. Standing there was Beth, wearing her pajamas. They made eye contact, and Ronnie watched as Beth sighed deeply. 

Notes:

CW: miscarriage, non-graphic

 

For Context

Grace Kelly: American actress from the 50s who retired in order to marry Prince Rainier III of Monaco, who then became Princess Grace.

Chapter 58: Independence Day (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Ronnie and Beth deal their problems in their own ways and come to a head

 

CW: Alcohol abuse, period-typical casual racism,

Happy Sunday!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Chapter 58: Independence Day

 

Wednesday, July 4th, 1973



Summer. All the kids were out of school, and the heat really hit. It didn't change Ronnie's schedule much, considering he worked all year, but the daycare rates went higher, which sucked. June had been a long and hot month, and Ronnie was glad it was finally July. 

June wasn't all too bad, however. Ronnie figured out that if he drank enough alcohol, his hallucinations of Nguyệt and his nightmares went away, meaning he could cut back on the sleeping pills. The only problem was that it got expensive after a while since it was only drinks like tequila or vodka that did the trick. Cheap beer was too light. 

From what Scott had told him, Ronnie gathered that Beth decided to get more invested in her church community after her miscarriage. She went to church at least twice a week and volunteered often. Scott hadn't minded it at first, but then she started trying to get him to join her. Ronnie assumed he still hadn't told her that he was an atheist. 

Ronnie had always had mixed feelings about July 4th. It was the anniversary of the nation's birth and the day Ronnie lost his virginity. He didn't like the holiday very much now. It just reminded him of Jennifer and the war, two things he tried very hard to forget. 

Today, however, Beth and Scott were hosting a party. Beth seemed like she was back to her usual self and had invited her friends from church. Charlie and Lenora were visiting as well, so Ronnie was glad he'd have someone normal to talk to other than Scott, considering Beth did not invite any of Scott's friends, though Ronnie doubted that she knew any of them. 

"You're here early," Scott said, opening the door shortly after Ronnie knocked.

"Thought you'd need company before the religious zealots arrive."

Scott laughed. "Thanks." He looked down at Ronnie's right forearm, which was bandaged. "What happened?"

"Tattoo. It's a chrysanthemum."

"Why'd you get it?"

"I was drunk and got it on an impulse, but they were Benjamin's mom's favorite flower," Ronnie said. It was just what he needed, another reminder that Nguyệt was dead. He’d gotten it on her birthday, which had been two days ago.

Benjamin, who was standing to Ronnie, perked up at the sound of his name but didn’t say anything. 

Scott nodded. 

Ronnie pointed to his car. "I brought some stuff, you mind helpin' me bring them inside?"

Scott nodded again and opened the door wider so Benjamin could come inside as the two of them walked over to Ronnie's car. Ronnie unlocked the trunk with his key and opened it, revealing beer and other snacks.

"Did you bring fireworks?"

Ronnie shook his head. "I like fireworks, but I have to watch them at a distance. I can't be around loud noises."

"But we went to the Led Zeppelin concert together last month."

"Loud noises that sound like bombs, grenades, or gunshots. Believe me, I'd sooner die or before not being able to go to a Led Zeppelin concert."

Scott nodded. "Understandable." He looked around. "Where's Lola?"

Ronnie shrugged. "I think she's visiting her parents."

"You think?"

"That's what she said, but I know she doesn't like her parents, so she's probably somewhere else and doesn't want to tell me."

"You don't care then?"

"No, I don't."

Scott grabbed the last case of beer as Ronnie closed the trunk and locked it. They walked back towards the house. Ronnie noticed the front porch was decorated with American flags. 

"Anything I need to know before I go in?" Ronnie asked.

Scott stopped walking and thought for a second. "Don't bring up the miscarriage. Actually, don't even talk about pregnancies. Or babies. And don't even think about abortion. If I hear her complain about abortion being legalized one more time-"

"I get it," Ronnie interrupted. 

Scott sighed. "Sorry."

Ronnie shook his head. "It's fine."

Scott opened the door with his free hand, and the smell of Worcestershire sauce hit Ronnie's nose. 

"You barbequing?"

Scott shook his head. "Charlie is. I can’t."

"That's depressing."

"What, you can do it?" Scott asked, entering the house

"I can actually," Ronnie replied. "Sometimes in 'Nam, we'd kill and roast a duck or chicken, and I can make a pretty mean steak, though right now I'm too broke to get a grill."

"You wanna borrow some money?"

"No thanks, I don't like owing people money," Ronnie said, closing the door with his leg when he entered the house.

Charlie, who was in the living room, saw them and came over. "Thank Jesus, another normal person."

"You two are really sad about Beth's church friends," Ronnie remarked.

"Is that Ronnie?" Beth called from the kitchen.

Ronnie went to the kitchen and set down the packs of beer he was holding on the counter. "Hey."

Beth smiled and hugged her brother. 

Ronnie hugged her back. "How are you?"

Beth nodded. "I'm good, I'm great." She glanced at his bandage.

"Tattoo," Ronnie answered.

She frowned. "Why?"

Ronnie pulled up the sleeve on his left arm. "I got this in Vietnam, and I was drunk."

Beth pursed her lips. "Drinking's not good for you, Ronnie."

"My liver and kidney agree with you, however, my brain and heart do not."

Beth rolled her eyes. "You amaze me, my dear brother."

Ronnie smiled and kissed his sister's head, which was easy since she barely stood at his shoulders. He then scratched the back of his neck. "Where's your liquor cabinet?"

Beth gave him a look. "Seriously? It's not even three."

Ronnie shrugged. "It's five o'clock somewhere."

Beth rolled her eyes again. "It's next to the tv."

Ronnie went over to the cabinet and poured whiskey into a wine glass. He heard someone chuckle and turned to see Lenora, Charlie's wife.

Ronnie glanced at his wine glass and back at her. He liked Lenora, and although they had only met at Beth and Scott's wedding, she had given off pretty good vibes. It was probably because Ronnie bought weed off of her at Woodstock. 

"Do you want some?" He asked, pointing at the brown bottle of Johnny Walker. 

Lenora shook her head. "I'll wait until Kyle goes down before I get hammered."

Ronnie nodded. "Have you seen my son?"

Lenora pointed at one of the couches in the living room. Ronnie walked over to see and saw Benjamin sitting next to Kyle, attempting to play with him.

Ronnie smiled. "Kiddo, Kyle's only-" He glanced at Lenora.

"10 months."

Ronnie continued. "He's only 10 months old. You can't play with babies, Benjamin."

Benjamin frowned. 

Lenora waved her hand. "It's fine, just pretend he's a very fragile doll."

Benjamin nodded. "Hi, Kyle, I’m Benjamin," he said, smiling. He then held up the little truck he was playing with. “Hiss is my ruck.”

Kyle stared at him and didn't say anything.

Lenora laughed. "He can't pronounce his T's?"

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, I've tried working on it with him, but he's stubborn. I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."

"He's a sweet kid."

"Thanks." Ronnie took a sip of his whiskey. "How long are you guys here for?"

"Until Monday."

Ronnie nodded as he took another sip of his liquor. 

Ronnie was drunk by the time actual guests began to arrive, which was around 6. He had switched to beers after Scott told him to stop drinking whiskey. Ronnie honestly wasn't that sure how many beers he'd had. He lost count on the third or fourth one. 

Almost all of Beth's church friends were upper-middle or upper-class young white women around the same age as her. Out of the dozen she had invited, only one of them wasn't white (she was Latina), and only two of them were over 30. Some of them were married and had brought their husbands and children, but most of them weren't. 

Ronnie felt odd in the environment, but he knew that Charlie, Lenora, and Scott did too, so it almost made him feel better. Almost. The house was loud, a drastic difference compared to the last time Ronnie was over, which had been when Beth miscarried. 

Lenora had left to "put Kyle down", but Ronnie hadn't seen her since. He thought about doing the same to Benjamin, but he was finally playing with his kids his own age, so Ronnie let him be. Now, he was stuck fending off people coming up to him and talking. Ronnie was glad he wasn't doing it sober. 

"Hello," a woman greeted cheerily. There were another two women behind her. 

Ronnie raised his brows and gave a half-smile in greeting.

"So, you're Ronnie, Beth's brother, right?" A woman in a striped red dress asked.

Ronnie nodded. "Yup."

The woman smiled. "Well, I'm Joanne, and this is Susan and Jean."

Susan and Jean gave him a little wave.

"Hi," Ronnie said, plastering a fake smile on his face. I want to kill myself, he thought. 

"So, we don't see you at church around here, so I'm guessing you live elsewhere," Susan remarked.

"Yeah, I live near San Bernardino."

"Oh, I have some friends there. What church do you go to then?" Jean asked.

"I don't go to church."

All three women were shocked.

"You don't?" Joanne asked like Ronnie had committed a crime. 

"Nope."

Jean pursed her lips and looked like she was faint.

"Hey, before you hop on my case, Beth's husband doesn't go to church either."

Susan nodded. "She seems so sad about it, though he is Lutheran."

"Scott doesn't go to a Lutheran church either."

The women were quiet for a second. 

"So, any yours?" Joanne asked, pointing at the kids, obviously changing the subject.

Ronnie pointed to Benjamin. "That’s mine. He’ll be 3 in November"

The women glanced at him and back at Ronnie. They looked surprised. 

"Did you ado-" Jean began to ask.

Ronnie interrupted her. "No, he's mine. He just looks like his mother."

This seemed to put the women off.

"You're married? Beth didn't say you were," Jean muttered. 

Ronnie smirked. These women were trying and horribly failing to flirt with him. He wondered if Beth put them up to it. Probably not, considering she liked Lola. 

"My wife died when he was a baby. I have a girlfriend now. She couldn't come."

All of them were wearing a polite smile, but it was clearly fake. Ronnie bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. 

"It was nice to meet you," Joanne said before the three of them left. 

Ronnie quietly snickered. Those women were the definition of aloof. He stopped snickering when he glanced at his son, however. It was obvious they were passive-aggressive about Benjamin. They had given him the look he and Lola sometimes got whenever they were out together. He knew his son would have to deal with certain racist aspects he never had to worry about when he was younger. It pissed him off how casual they were about it, and maybe it was just alcohol making him more emotional, but he decided to have a word about it with Beth. 

Ronnie walked over to the kitchen, where Beth and some of her friends were, including the Three Stooges. He set the beer can he was holding down on the counter harshly, startling everyone.

Beth looked at her brother. "What?"

"Not you." He glanced at Joanne, Susan, and Jean. "Ya know, I couldn't help but notice you three gave me a certain look when I talked about my son."

Susan looked confused. "We did?"

Ronnie nodded, grinning. "Yeah, it's the same look I get sometimes when I'm out and about with my girlfriend. She's black, by the way."

They remained quiet. 

"What I'm saying is you don't know me, you don't know my life, and you have no right to look at my son like that."

"Ronnie," Beth said quietly.

Ronnie shot her a look. "I'm still talking to Huey, Dewey, and Louie here."

"Excuse me?" One of them said. Ronnie didn't care who. 

He turned back to them. "So, you three can go fuck off and be passive-aggressively racist elsewhere." He gave them a little wave. "Goodbye."

They left the kitchen with their eyes wide. Ronnie turned to the other girls in the kitchen. They walked away as soon as he made eye contact. He then turned to Beth, who looked mildly agitated. 

"You're drunk," she stated.

"No shit," Ronnie replied. "I'm not fucking apologizing."

Beth nodded. "I'm sorry that happened. That was really inconsiderate of them."

"Why are you friends with these people?" 

Beth looked around the room. "Can we do this in private?"

Ronnie shook his head. "No. Besides, people are starting to leave."

Beth crossed her arms.  "I'm friends with these because we have a lot in common. Typically, that's how people make friends. On common interests."

"What do you have in common with these people?"

"We live in the same area and go to the same church."

"You're nothing like these people. You're here because Scott's rich. And none of Scott's friends even live here. Wonder why?"

Beth gave Ronnie an annoyed look. At this point, Scott and Charlie were starting to listen to the conversation. 

"These people are spoiled, entitled, selfish people who've never had to do a day's work once in their petty little lives."

"You're not selfish?"

"I work my ass off. You're fucking lucky. You don't have to worry if you'll be able to pay the bills on time or if your kid will go hungry. I work as a fucking mechanic. That ain't a white-collar job last I checked. And cause I'm not as experienced as my co-workers, I get paid less. I usually skip breakfast, so I know Benjamin has something to eat. Don't give me a pity party because I was rude to your little bitchy friends." 

He paused and cracked his knuckles. "I take it back, actually. You're exactly like your friends. You're a spoiled, entitled brat. The only real work you've ever done was as a secretary at a newspaper, and you didn't even work there eight months. You've barely had to lift a finger in your life, even when we were kids. I'm sorry you miscarried, but at least now you know life's not fucking perfect for you."

Beth swallowed and glared at her brother. "Fuck you, Ronnie," she said before storming off. 

Beth went to her bedroom and slammed her door loudly, something she hadn't done since she was a teenager. Ronnie was a fucking asshole, but he was right. She ran her hands through her hair. How many people were still there? How many people heard her brother? She paced across the room back and forth, debating whether to yell at her brother or apologize. Probably both. More yelling than apologizing, though. 

She heard a knock and stopped. "Come in."

She expected it to be Scott, but instead, Lenora walked into the room. "Hey."

Beth sat on her bed. "Were there any guests still around when Ronnie started yelling?"

Lenora shook her head. "The last one was out the door when he started talking crap about them. Good thing the firework shows were early in the evening."

Beth nodded.

Lenora sat down next to Beth. "Hey, he was drunk, don't take what he said to heart."

"He still meant it, regardless if he was drunk or not. He's right too. I am a spoiled brat."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I acted so bitchy when I was younger my family called me The Brat."

Beth smirked. "Really?"

Lenora smiled and nodded. "Yeah, then it was Hilly Billy Lily. Lily's my middle name."

"What is it now?"

"Lenora the Bitch, courtesy of Scott. But he hasn't called me that in a long time. Guess I'm just Lenora."

"Lenora's a nice name," Beth muttered.

Lenora smiled. "Thanks." She took Beth's hand. "How are you? I don't know how you were able to do this party. Don't think I could do it if I were you."

Beth shrugged. "Doing things keeps my mind off of it. I bake more, clean, volunteer. It helps."

Lenora nodded. "Mom died three months after I got married. A drunk driver hit her. I cried and didn't leave my room for a week, but when I did, I practically did everything I could to keep my mind off of it. Sex helped."

Beth sighed. It was odd she was having this conversation with Lenora, considering she wouldn't dare tell her church friends this. Maybe they really weren't her friends. "Honestly, Scott and I haven't had sex in a while."

"Maybe because of the miscarriage?"

Beth shrugged. "Maybe.  We stopped having as much sex right around when I told him I was pregnant. Maybe he didn't want to hurt the baby. I don't know." She frowned. 

When Beth came out of the room with Lenora, Ronnie was sitting at the bar alone. Beth could see Charlie and Scott outside, holding Kyle and Benjamin. Lenora took this as a clue to leave and joined her husband and brother-in-law. 

Beth sat next to Ronnie. His face was paler now, and his right pupil wasn't dilated as it was earlier. He must have gotten the alcohol out of his system. When Beth sniffed the air, she guessed that he had thrown up. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Ronnie said quietly. 

Beth nodded. "It's okay. You were kinda right anyway."

"That still doesn't give me a reason to verbally abuse you."

"Well, let's call it a draw. I'm a brat, and you're an asshole."

Ronnie snorted. "Deal."

Beth smiled. "That was a crappy party."

Ronnie nodded. "Cheers to that," he said, pantomiming a cup in his hand.

"Cheers."

Notes:

The Led Zeppelin concert actually did happen in June 1973.

 

For Context

Roe vs. Wade: The Supreme Court case that legalized abortion in the United States, 1973 (June 25 2022 update: I hate fucking the supreme court who thinks guns deserve more rights than women😍)

Chapter 59: Goodbye Ronnie (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

Scott further opens up his sex life. Lola stops by.

 

CW: Sexual references, some alcohol abuse

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 59: Goodbye Ronnie

Friday, August 24th, 1973, Riverside, California



Scott raised his hand and took his headphones off to single Mark and Peter that he wanted to say something. Mark pressed the button and spoke into the microphone.

"What?"

"I don't like how that sounds."

Mark scoffed. "You wrote it."

"It sounds weird. I think we should change it. Like maybe we just have a guitar solo instead."

Mark paused and said something to Peter, removing his finger from the button so Scott couldn't hear what he was saying. 

One of the advantages and disadvantages of working as a musician usually meant his hours differed from day to day. Sometimes Scott wouldn't go into the studio or have a meeting for like two weeks, and sometimes Scott was in the studio at two in the morning. It did make it easier to see Ronnie, but Scott didn't like having to get up at the crack ass of dawn just because Mark had an idea and wanted to test it out in the studio. 

It was only 5:47, but Scott was ready to leave. He had been there since 8 in the morning. He was tired. Finally, Mark turned to Scott and pressed the button again. 

"What about you only sing the first part of the bridge, and then it goes into the solo and then the chorus?" He suggested.

Scott pondered this. "That actually sounds like a good idea,” he said. “But can we put it to the test tomorrow? I'm tired."

Mark nodded. "Oh good, me too."

Peter leaned into the microphone. "Well, I was about to leave anyway. My wife made steak for dinner. I'm not missing it."

Scott took off his headphones from his neck and set them down on a table. He walked to the door and exited the recording studio. Other than Mark and Peter, Mark's wife, Hannah, was also there. They ran the recording studio together, so when Scott would eventually release the album, she'd be credited as a co-producer. 

"I'll see y'all Monday?"

Hannah nodded. "Have a nice weekend, sweetheart."

Scott smiled as he grabbed his wallet, car keys, and sunglasses from Peter. "Thanks." 

Scott left the studio and went to the payphone in the parking lot. He put 10 cents into the phone and dialed up Ronnie's number since he knew he was probably home by now. Ronnie answered only after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"It's Scott."

"Oh, what's up?" Ronnie asked.

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"I can't do anything tonight, I'm already over budget." 

Scott nodded. "Oh, okay... would you mind if I came over?"

"Are you looking for a booty call?"

Scott laughed. "Maybe."

"Sure, but you better leave before midnight."

"Fair enough. I'll see ya then."

"You too," Ronnie said before hanging up. 

Scott then put another 10 cents in the payphone and dialed Beth's number. She answered almost immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby."

"Oh, Scott. Are you leaving the studio?"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna get dinner with an acquaintance. I promise I'll be back before 11."

"Pinky promise?"

Scott chuckled. "I pinky promise."

"Love you."

"I love you too," Scott replied as he hung up the phone. God, he was such an asshole for calling Beth and Ronnie back-to-back. 

Scott got into his Camaro and started the car before driving out of the parking and onto the road. It wasn't the first time he had done this. Leave the studio, go to Ronnie's, and then back home.

The traffic was worse than usual, so instead of the usual 40 minutes, it took an hour to get to Ronnie's. When he pulled into the driveway, he saw Ronnie standing outside smoking. He parked the car and got out. 

"Got stuck in traffic."

Ronnie put his cigarette out. "I hate the traffic here."

Scott agreed. 

"Want dinner? I made spaghetti. Again." Ronnie asked as they entered the house. 

Benjamin was nowhere to be seen when Scott looked around. 

"Where's Benjamin?"

"Fever, he's asleep. I had to leave work early to pick him up. I'm taking him to the doctor in the morning."

Scott nodded. "Poor kid," he mumbled, standing right behind Ronnie. He always hated the fact Ronnie was slightly taller than him. It was really annoying, especially since Ronnie bragged about it whenever Scott brought it up.

Ronnie turned and smirked. "Oh, we're not going that way today."

Scott cocked a brow. "What do you mean?"

Ronnie grabbed Scott's ass. 

Scott got what he meant. "No."

Ronnie shrugged as he walked toward his bedroom. "Well, I'm not getting fucked in the ass tonight."

Scott watched as he disappeared into his room. He stood there for a second and glanced at his crotch. Ronnie had wanted to do it for a while, and Scott guessed he saw this as his chance. Scott was the one who wanted it tonight.

"Fine," Scott called out as he walked towards Ronnie's room. 

He opened the door and saw Ronnie laying on his bed, only in his boxers. He knew Scott was gonna come. What a little shit. Scott closed the door behind him and pulled his plain white t-shirt off. He then tugged off his shoes and jeans before climbing onto the bed. 

"Does it hurt?" Scott asked, his hand trailing down Ronnie's bare chest, touching the chain necklace around his neck. 

Ronnie shrugged and leaned towards his ear. "I'll let you be the judge of that."

 

***

 

"You like doing this?" Scott asked, rubbing his ass.

Ronnie shrugged as he lit a cigarette. "I don't know. Feels better after the first couple of times."

Scott nodded as he took a sip from his bottle of beer. 

After fucking, Ronnie had grabbed some beers for him and Scott, who was still sore. Ronnie hadn't meant to go that rough. (He did.) Ronnie thought it was funny how Scott was reacting afterward, but the guy had liked it, whether he wanted to admit it or not. People who don't enjoy certain sex positions don't moan loudly. 

"How's the recording process going?"

Scott groaned. "I fucking hate it. It's tiring, and the hours are so varied. One day, I'm there for an hour, another day, I'm there for 15."

Ronnie rolled his eyes. "And guess who's making a fuck ton of money from it?"

Scott cocked his head. "That is true." He glanced at Ronnie's chest and snickered. "Nice hickey."

Ronnie looked at his chest to see a bruise forming in the shape of a bite mark. "I have a girlfriend, you can't do that."

Scott laughed. 

Ronnie flipped him off. 

Scott took another sip of beer. "How is Lola? I haven't seen her in a while."

Ronnie shrugged. "I don't know, it's okay. Though I doubt it'll last another 6 months."

"You guys have been together for over a year, right?"

Ronnie nodded.

"Do you love her?"

Ronnie laughed before shaking his head. "No, which sounds bad, but I mean our relationship is just sex and fun, and she knows it too. I mean, we literally had a threesome with some random girl she knew."

Scott looked shocked. "You had a threesome?"

Ronnie nodded. "It was hot."

Scott scoffed. "I’m a fucking rockstar, I have thousands of people wanting to fuck me, and I still haven’t had a threesome."

Ronnie held his hands up. "Not my fault you married young. Plus, you married a prude."

Scott pursed his lips and breathed out through his nose harshly. "Shut up, she’s still my wife and your sister, ya know."

Ronnie sighed. “Well, back to Lola. I mean, honestly, I kind of wanna be single, so I screw other girls and maybe spend more time with you.” 

Scott nodded. "That'd be nice."

"Well, this is 1973, and you’re married to my sister, so I don’t know if that’ll happen anytime soon."

Scott left the house after showering. He told Ronnie his hair dried quickly, so it'd be dry by the time he came home, therefore Beth wouldn’t notice. He showered himself and then crashed on the couch with a couple of beers. He turned on the TV for some background noise, but he started to nod off after he finished his third beer (in that sitting).

It wasn't really sleeping because he wasn't completely unconscious either.  He didn't dream, but it wasn't a restful slumber. He listened to the random chatter of the television and the crackling of the air conditioning until he heard a knock on the front door. Ronnie opened his eyes. The person at the door knocked again, this time louder. He didn't bother to get up. It was probably just Scott. Maybe he left something. Ronnie closed his eyes again. Scott could let himself in, the door was unlocked. 

The door opened, and the person walked in, their shoes making squeaking rubber noises across the floor. Ronnie opened his eyes again. That was not Scott. He had been wearing boots. He sat up, only to see Lola glaring at him. She didn't bother to close the door behind her.

He hadn't seen her in almost a month. Her afro was shorter than he remembered, so Ronnie assumed she must have cut it. She was wearing light green scrubs. Ronnie rarely saw her in her work clothes. It felt weird. 

"Your front door's unlocked," she said, crossing her arms. 

"I can tell," Ronnie replied. 

"Ain't ya gonna greet me?"

Ronnie scoffed. "No, you woke me from my nap."

Lola's expression turned ugly. "You haven't called me in four weeks. Where the hell you been?"

"Here and around."

She looked around the room and back at him. "Shouldn't you be watching your son?"

Ronnie rubbed his eye. "He's asleep. His daddy needs sleep too, so can you please leave? I don't feel like satisfying your sexual needs."

Lola was angry now. "God, you're such a fucking dick." She stepped closer to the couch and glanced at his naked chest since Ronnie hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt after Scott left. "Is that a fucking hickey?"

Ronnie looked at it. "Um, yeah, I guess it is."

Lola took a step back. "Are you cheating on me?" She actually sounded genuinely hurt.

Ronnie shrugged and grabbed a half-empty beer bottle from the floor. He took a swig and swallowed.

Lola sighed loudly. "You know what? Go fuck yourself, Ronald, and get some help. You need it."

Ronnie almost laughed. "Are you dumping me?"

"Well, what do you think?" Lola asked, raising her voice. 

Ronnie set his beer down. "I think... I honestly don't care. We don't love each other anyway."

He watched as Lola picked up his wallet from the kitchen counter and threw it at him. She missed. 

"Fuck you, you stupid cracker asshole!" She yelled before storming out of the house and slamming the door shut loudly. 

Ronnie sat there for a second. Lola just broke up with him. He let her break up with him. Hell, he practically encouraged it. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Ronnie stood up from the couch and grabbed his beer bottle. He didn't bother to turn off the tv. He walked to Benjamin's room and opened the door. Benjamin was passed out, sleeping in his little bed. Ronnie sat down on the carpet floor next to the bed. He took another swig from his bottle and leaned back into the bed frame, listening to Benjamin breathing. He glanced around the room and saw Nguyệt folding a blanket. He hadn't seen her in almost two months. 

Ronnie stayed where he was and continued to drink, watching Nguyệt. 

Notes:

objectively, ronnie is a bit of an asshole

also one more chapter to go for volume one!

Chapter 60: Revelation (Vol I, Part VI)

Summary:

CW: Sex and sexual content

 

Thanksgiving, and Scott has a big revelation

Notes:

Last chapter of part 6 and volume 1!!!!!

Also, happy early Eid to all who celebrate!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 60: Revelation

 

Thursday, November 22nd, 1973, Long Beach, California



Thanksgiving. The annual holiday where people ate food that didn't taste too great and argued over politics. Watergate was going to make a fun dinner conversation. Scott was sad that his parents couldn't make it since he wanted to mention that both of them had voted for Nixon. 

Mary and Shannon had come, however, and Ronnie had said that Mary had voted for Nixon too, but Scott liked Mary. He wasn't gonna harass her about it. Ronnie could do that. 

Because Scott couldn't cook, he had been assigned babysitting duty while Beth, Mary, and Ronnie were in the kitchen. He didn't mind, but he had been stuck with a three year old and an eleven year old all day, and it was starting to drive him insane. 

At the moment, he was playing Monopoly with Shannon. Benjamin was playing too, but he was upset since Scott had taken the rest of his money. All 26 dollars of it. 

"That'll cost you 400 dollars," he said as Shannon landed one of his properties with houses on it. 

Shannon scowled as she handed him the money. "Why do you always have to win?"

Benjamin frowned. "I don wanna play."

Scott laughed. "I'm a competitive person."

"I'm 11, and he's 3. You should go easy on us," Shannon informed him.

"I'm 22, and I don't want to," Scott replied. 

Shannon rolled her eyes. 

Scott stretched his arms. "The new Charlie Brown special doesn't air until another 30 minutes, so we need to find something else to do until then."

Shannon crossed her arms. "Like what?"

Scott shrugged. "I don't know. I thought kids were supposed to have active imaginations." 

Scott glanced at the kitchen and saw Mary walking toward them, wiping her hands on her apron. 

"My hands hurt, and I need someone to chop the potatoes for a wee bit."

Shannon stood up. "I'll help," she volunteered.

Mary smiled at her daughter. "Thank you, mo grá."

Shannon beamed.

Mary pointed at Beth. "Go to your sister, she'll tell you what to do. And please be careful with the knife."

"I will!" Shannon called out as she went to the kitchen. 

Mary sat on the couch and sighed. 

"You okay?" Scott asked. 

Mary nodded. "Tired, that's all." She leaned back. "This is the first year I've done Thanksgiving without my sister in 20 years."

"We did invite her, but she didn't want to fly."

Mary sighed. "She's afraid of airplanes. Her husband Frankie died in a plane crash not even three months after her son Colin died from polio. She couldn’t even come to our mother’s funeral."

"That's horrible."

"It was. Colin was a sweet baby. He died when Ronnie was four months old. And to further rub salt in the wound, the polio vaccine became available to the general public on his death anniversary."

Scott nodded. "That's... terrible."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make it depressing."

Scott shook his head. "It’s fine. Besides, I think someone was gonna start crying here soon anyway," he said, looking at Benjamin.

"I'm nu crying," Benjamin replied.

"Not yet."

Mary chuckled. "Come here, sweetheart."

Benjamin stood up and toddled his way to his grandmother. Mary picked him up and sat him on her lap. 

"I canna believe you're three now," Mary mused, playing with Benjamin's hands.

Scott agreed. "Soon enough, you'll be going to kindergarten."

"Don't remind me," Ronnie called out from the kitchen. 

Mary smiled. "How do you think I feel?"

The Charlie Brown special was more entertaining than Scott thought it'd be. Well, who was Scott kidding, he loved cartoons. Sometimes when he got the newspaper, he only read the comic page. He was sitting on the couch with Benjamin, Shannon, and Ronnie, who had switched with Mary and taken a break from the kitchen. 

During the fourth commercial break, Ronnie stood up from the couch and began to walk toward the hall bathroom. "I'll be right back."

"That one's broke, use the one upstairs," Scott called out.

Ronnie nodded and went upstairs. 

"Scott, can you go get the big platter from the attic? We'll need it," Beth called out from the kitchen. 

"Sure," Scott replied, standing up and leaving the living room. He climbed the stairs and started to go to the attic but stopped in front of the guest bathroom. 

The door was unlocked. Scott glanced around before opening the door and shutting it after stepping in. Ronnie looked at him. He was peeing.

"Dude, what do you think you're doing?"

Scott locked the bathroom door. "You forgot to lock the door."

Ronnie flushed the toilet and started to pull his pants up, but Scott grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to the sink. 

"What the fuck?" Ronnie whisper-yelled.

Scott undid his own belt and unbuttoned his slacks before pulling them down.

"My whole fucking family's downstairs," Ronnie muttered as Scott rested his head on his shoulder. 

Scott leaned into Ronnie's right ear. "Keep quiet then," Scott whispered snarkily. 

Scott reached over to the little bottle of hand lotion Beth kept next to the bar of soap. He opened it and squirted some in his hand. It was cold. He next moved his hand to where his cock and Ronnie's ass were. Ronnie gasped lightly when Scott touched him. 

Scott touched himself, breathing audibly as he lubricated himself. He then wiped his hand on the hand towel before placing it on Ronnie's shoulder, tightly gripping it. 

"Want me to-"

"Just fucking do it," Ronnie interrupted, grabbing Scott's other hand.

Scott nodded and positioned himself. He breathed in deeply before thrusting into Ronnie. Ronnie groaned at the impact but then stopped, remembering where he was. 

Scott's grip tightened as he went deeper, turning Ronnie's shoulder paperwhite. Ronnie was biting his finger to suppress his moans while Scott buried his face into Ronnie's neck. He looked up after a few seconds to see Ronnie staring at them in the mirror. His hand had left Scott's, and he was now jacking himself off. Scott stared at himself as his hips rammed into Ronnie's. It just turned Scott on even more. 

"You look so fucking hot," Scott whispered, panting.

Ronnie smirked and took his finger out of his mouth to reply, but the door knocked loudly, scaring the shit out of him and Scott. Scott stepped back, his eyes wide with fear. 

"Ronnie?" Shannon's voice asked from outside.

Ronnie swallowed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah?"

"When you're finished, can you go tell Scott it's dinner time?"

"Uh... sure, just let me finish washing my hands."

"Okay," Shannon replied. 

Scott didn't dare move until she left the door. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. That was too close. 

Ronnie washed his hands quietly and cleaned himself before pulling up his handing and tucking his button-up back in. Scott did the same, his hands shaking.

Ronnie glanced at him before leaving the bathroom. "You're okay."

Scott nodded as he closed the door. He waited another minute before coming out and running to the attic to get the platter. When he came downstairs, everyone was sitting down in the dining room. The table was stuffed with various foods.

He handed the platter to Beth. "Sorry, it took a bit to find."

Beth smiled and went to the kitchen with it. 

Scott sat down at the head of the table. He had never sat at the head of the table during Thanksgiving before. Usually, it was his father or some other adult. It felt odd. 

Beth came back to the table with the turkey on the platter, all prettied. 

"Wow," Scott uttered. It was impressive looking.

"Thanks," Ronnie responded, nodding.

Scott and Ronnie helped everyone serve food while Mary poured wine into the adult's wine glasses. They sat back down and said a prayer, though Scott was just mumbling the words. He should really sit Beth down and tell her he was an atheist. That'd be one less thing to hide. 

"So, what's everyone thankful for?" Beth asked.

Shannon went first. "I'm thankful for being here because 6th grade sucks."

"You're in middle school?" Beth muttered.

"I feel old," Ronnie mumbled.

Both Beth and Mary nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm thankful for all of you, the church, and Jesus Christ," Beth said, smiling. 

Mary said something pretty similar, and Benjamin just yelled, "FOOD!"

"I guess I'm thankful for y'all, and this food I'm about to overstuff myself with. Also, stereo speakers."

Mary laughed. 

Everyone turned to Ronnie, who shrugged. Scott picked up his wine glass and took a sip of his wine. What was he going to say?

Ronnie made direct eye contact with Scott. "Hand lotion since it makes your hands soft."

Scott choked on his wine. 

Ronnie laughed and turned to his mother and sister. "Inside joke." He then picked up his own wine glass. “So… who here voted for Nixon?” he asked, earning collective groans from Mary and Beth. 

Because Scott hadn't helped cook, he ended up with dish duty. Mary helped him, but it still sucked. Scott never realized how hard it was to scrub off stuffing from a plate. After an hour, Mary told him to go to bed.

"I got it from here. You go to bed, okay?"

Scott dried his hands on his shirt. "You sure?"

Mary nodded. "Happy Thanksgiving, sweetheart."

"Good night," Scott replied, walking to his room. 

When Scott opened the door, Beth was lying on their bed, completely naked.

Shit, Scott thought. 

"Hi," Scott said, closing the door behind him. "Is this for me?"

Beth scoffed and stood on the floor. "C'mon, when was the last time we had sex?"

"Two weeks ago."

"And before that?"

Scott was silent. Since March, he and Beth had probably only had sex a dozen times. He just didn't want it. 

Beth grabbed his hand. "You can't do this to me, baby. I'll go insane if you keep ignoring me. You're my husband, and I love you." 

Scott nodded. "I'm sorry, I know I've been distant."

Beth slowly unbuttoned his shirt. "You're not gonna hurt me."

Scott nodded again as Beth undid his cuff links. "I know."

 

***

 

Ronnie woke up to silence. No nightmares, no Nguyệt, and no Benjamin snoring. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Next to the bed was an empty wine bottle that Ronnie had finished last night. He had taken five sleeping pills along with it. 

Benjamin was probably already up, so Ronnie didn't bother to check if he had fallen off the bed. Again. He changed into jeans and a red t-shirt before leaving the room. 

Scott was sitting in the living room with Benjamin. Both of them were eating a bowl of Cheerios. Scott looked up when he heard Ronnie. 

"Girls left?" Ronnie asked.

Scott nodded. "About 15 minutes ago."

Beth and Mary had this tradition where they would spend the entire Friday and Saturday morning after Thanksgiving together. Aunt Eileen also usually went along, leaving Ronnie stuck with Shannon. Shannon was 11 now though and deemed old enough to go with the older women. Mary had been miffed anyway when she found out about Ronnie’s tattoos. Time away would help her cool off. 

Ronnie sat down next to his son. "Guess it's a dude's day."

"That'll be fun," Scott answered, his eyebrows raised with a mouth full of Cheerios.

Ronnie smiled. 

After they all ate, Scott put on the new episode of Sesame Street for Benjamin, with special guests Julie Andrews and Perry Como. Benjamin sat there on the couch while Ronnie and Scott sat at the bar, talking and drinking mimosas. 

"I don't understand it. Israel and Egypt for to war for like three weeks, and now there's a fucking oil crisis."

Scott shrugged. 

"And all because dear old Nixon said he'd give money to Israel." Ronnie scowled. "I hate politics" 

"Do you think the US will ever stop butting into other countries' affairs?"

Ronnie scoffed and took a sip of his mimosa. "When my mother stops asking me if I'll go to church."

"So... never?"

Ronnie snorted. "The price is starting to go up. I've bought jugs to pump gas in, so I'll have a reserve, but Christ, It's gonna put a hole in my wallet cause of my work commute." 

"Do you think you'll lose your job cause of the upcoming recession?"

Ronnie shrugged. “I dunno, honestly. I fix cars for a living, and oil makes cars go. If there are no cars to fix, what even is my job? I'm lucky the shop still gets business.”

Scott frowned. “That sucks. You can still fix my cars if you want.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes and finished the last of his mimosa. "I'll have to stop going out as much to save money. Guess it's a good thing Lola broke up with me." 

Scott set his mimosa on the bar. "I can't believe she dumped you."

Ronnie cocked his head. "Yeah, I kinda deserved it. I was a dick over the last few weeks of our relationship."

"You're kind of a dick in general."

Ronnie nodded. "True, that's probably why all my romantic relationships end badly. Dumped, died, and dumped," Ronnie mused, counting them off his fingers. "God sure does love me."

Scott stared at him. "How can you joke about that?"

Ronnie shrugged. "I have issues."

Scott snickered. 

Ronnie sighed. "I heard Beth complain to Lenora that you guys aren't really sleeping together anymore, and as much as I don't want to hear or talk about my sister's sex life, is everything okay?"

Scott looked at him and scratched his face. "I dunno, I just don't want to."

"You sleep with me."

Scott shrugged. "I don't know. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay," Ronnie muttered, standing up and going back to the couch, sitting with Benjamin, watching Julie Andrew and Perry Como sing on Sesame Street

The crappy part about Thanksgiving was that you had to eat leftovers for the next three days, and for Ronnie, the turkey got old quick. It's what he and Scott had for lunch and dinner, turkey-stuffing-mashed potato sandwiches. To Ronnie's disgust, Scott put mustard and mayo on it. He knew he was a glutton but not to that extremity. 

Ronnie was extremely thankful that Benjamin wasn't a picky kid, meaning he'd eat the leftovers too. It also saved plenty of money on grocery shopping. He fed him dinner and then tucked him into bed after a bath. 

"Are you gonna fall off the bed again, or do I need to make a pillow barrier?" Ronnie asked, putting a blanket over his son.

Benjamin shook his head. "No."

"You sure?"

"No pillow wall."

Ronnie nodded and kissed his son's head. "Good night."

"Nigh, nigh, Daddy."

Ronnie smiled and turned off the light before closing the door quietly and leaving. He then went to the master bedroom to check if Scott was there. Ronnie opened the bedroom door and saw Scott sitting on the bed, smoking a cigarette.

"Beth's gonna kill ya if she finds out you were smoking in here," Ronnie told him, closing the door. 

Scott shrugged. "I'll air out the room in the morning, she'll never notice."

Ronnie rolled his eyes. 

Scott put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand and got off the bed. He waltzed over to Ronnie and smirked. Ronnie raised a brow. 

"What?"

"I wanna kiss you."

"Well, then do it," Ronnie replied, grabbing Scott's face and kissing him. 

Scott wrapped his hands around Ronnie's neck and fell back onto the bed, Ronnie on top of him. Ronnie's back arched, and he pinned Scott's wrists to the bed. Then he remembered this was his sister's bed.

Ronnie sat up and wiped his mouth. "I am not having sex in my sister's bed." 

"I'll change the sheets."

"And air out the room?"

"Spring cleaning in November," Scott said, pulling off the t-shirt.

Ronnie looked at him before doing the same. He pushed him back down on the bed and hovered over his face. He stared at Scott, whose eyes had a lustful glow. Oh, he was so going to fuck this blond. 

 

***

 

They were both sitting up now, lying against the bedframe and smoking cigarettes. Scott rolled his shoulders and sighed.

"I can't believe I let you fuck me again."

Ronnie smirked. "I like this pattern. I fuck you, and you fuck me. Win-win situation."

"Well, it's easier to hide it when I'm on top."

Ronnie took a puff from his cigarette. "Oh well." 

Scott put out his cigarette on the ashtray between them and sighed. "Ronnie... I've been thinking lately about this and..."

"What's wrong?"

"You're-you’re not the first guy I've kissed..." Scott hesitated, licked his lips, and sighed again.  "When Charlie came home from ‘Nam, he was different. He'd yell and then start crying. I was scared of it. Dad said it was normal for soldiers coming out of war, and he'd be back to normal soon enough. I didn't want to be around him, so I would take these long walks in the cow fields and sit under a tree. 

It was on those walks where I met Jose Valladares. His father worked for mine, and we clicked. He was my best friend. The only time I wasn't with him was when I was sleeping or eating. Charlie got better, and he decided that hanging out with a 15/16 year old was lame, so he started dating this girl met, Lenora Hardy. 

Jose and I got closer from it, and one day, Charlie took us to Dallas without my parents. He left to go hang out with friends, and we left to explore the city. We went to the sex district and flirted with a couple of prostitutes who said no cause it was clear we were kids, but then I saw a transexual one across the street. 

I'd never seen one before, and I kept staring at them until Jose pulled me back and said, ‘Let's go, it's none of our business.’ I didn't know why he was so antsy about it."

Scott paused and rubbed his face before continuing. "One day, while we were playing a card game, he asked me how I felt about homosexuals. I told him that Dad and Mother thought it was a sin and a crime. He was silent and then told me he didn't like girls. I was confused about what he meant, but then I got it. He was a homosexual. 

I didn't talk-talk to him for six weeks until one day he told me he was running away because he didn't want to have an arranged marriage. His parents wanted him to have a smaller chance of being drafted. He told me he was um in love with me, and then... I kissed him.

I didn't look back when I walked away from him. That was the last time I ever saw him. Afterward, I started having sex with girls to prove to myself I wasn’t a queer, but then I met you." He then scoffed sarcastically. "Since we started this... affair, I looked at other men differently, not just you," Scott finished, looking away from Ronnie.

Ronnie sat there, dumbfounded. Was Scott saying what he thought he was saying? "Scott, are you telling me you're gay?"

Scott looked at him with puppy dog eyes before nodding. 

Ronnie leaned back into the bed frame and took a puff of his cigarette. "Fuck," he muttered as he blew smoke from his mouth into the air. 

 

 

End of Part VI

 

 

 

End of Volume I

Notes:

And so, I have published the entirety of volume one. One more to go! I did want to give heads up, as this volume goes into more intense content, as well as more fully written sex scenes, as I know this volume only had around 4-5. This has been my first time writing smut, and as I've gotten more confident, I've written more, even if I think it's ass because I hate the "fade to black" trope as much as y'all do. I mean, there will be more semi-fade to black sex scenes, but vol ll will have plenty more lol

JUNE 2023 UPDATE: For my dudes reading this in one go, you've reached the halfway point! now go to bed lol

 

For Context

Watergate: The Watergate scandal was a major political scandal in the United States involving the administration of U.S. President Richard Nixon from 1972 to 1974 that led to Nixon's resignation. The scandal stemmed from the Nixon administration's continual attempts to cover up its involvement in the June 17, 1972, break-in of the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Washington, D.C. Watergate Office Building. (Wiki)

1973 Oil Crisis: In October 1973, the members of the Organization of Arab Petroleum Exporting Countries led by Saudi Arabia proclaimed an oil embargo. The embargo was targeted at nations that had supported Israel during the Yom Kippur War. The initial nations targeted were Canada, Japan, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom, and the United States with the embargo also later extended to Portugal, Rhodesia, and South Africa.

Transexual: This is an outdated term for transgender and considered offensive, and I highly dislike using it, but that was the term back then as the word transgender didn't appear until the 80s-90s.

Chapter 61: Exposed (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Beth and Scott fight

 

and we're back babies!

Notes:

CW: Some period-typical homophobia

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Volume II

January 28th, 1974 - December 31st, 1979




Part I: The Old and New

 

January 28th, 1974 - December 21st, 1974

 

 

Chapter 61: Exposed

 

Monday, January 28th, 1974, Hollywood, California



"Scott, do you got anything to say?" Darlene asked. 

Scott looked up. "Huh?"

Darlene's expression soured. "Were ya even listening to anything I was saying?"

Scott glanced at Peter. He had an expression similar to Darlene's. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just tired. Everything sounds perfect, and I couldn’t make it better," he lied, giving Darlene a tired smile. 

Darlene's expression changed to one of a concerned mother. "Are you alright?"

Scott nodded. "I just didn't sleep that well last night."

Darlene Bernstein was the woman behind The Cashmere Lady from Venus Wears Fur, Scott's upcoming tour, as well as the title of his upcoming album. It would be his second tour and his first world and stadium tour. It had been sold out for nearly two weeks, and sales had only been announced a week before Christmas. Not that Scott was tooting his own horn or anything.

Darlene put his hands on her hips and looked at Scott with an eyebrow raised. "You sure?"

Darlene kind of reminded Scott of his mother, if she was Southern, way more liberal, and even more outspoken. And actually liked him. Scott nodded, yawning. 

“100 percent sure.”

Darlene unquestionably did not believe him, but she did not question him any further. "What are you doing for dinner?" She asked, changing the subject, though she still looked concerned.

"I'm having dinner with my wife and my brother-in-law. Don't worry, I'm not getting shit-faced at a run-down bar," Scott muttered, standing up from the large meeting table. "I'll see you on Wednesday," Scott called out as he walked out of the room. 

Peter followed him. "You didn't pay attention to a thing, did you?"

Scott gave a sideways smile. "Nope."

"Seriously, is everything okay?"

Scott nodded as he pressed the elevator button. "Can everyone stop asking? I am fan-fucking-tastic."

Peter raised his hands. "Okay, okay, smartass." 

Scott gave a little salute as the elevator door opened, and he stepped inside. "See ya, Church."

Peter shook his head. "If you act like this on Wednesday, I won't let you bring that friend of yours on tour."

Scott gave a thumbs up and a shit-eating grin as the door closed. As soon as the door closed, he frowned and sighed. How the fuck could he pay attention when his personal life was beginning to tear at its threads? He shouldn't have come out to Ronnie. He shouldn't have said fucking anything. 

They hadn't really talked to each other since then. Sure, both of them had been busy with work, but Scott was worried Ronnie would stop talking to him. Beth was on to him. It was clear she knew he was hiding something, but she wasn't sure what. She had gotten more distant and sometimes stared at him like she was angry. 

Was she angry? Scott wasn't sure. 

Scott left the Capitol Records building and went to the parking garage next door where his car was. He had bought himself a new car for Christmas, a yellow 1973 Dodge Charger. He still preferred his Camaro, but he didn't want to damage it, so this was his main car now. 

He got in the car and drove off toward Long Beach. He drove past the ocean and inhaled the salty smell. He wished he went to the beach more. It was gorgeous at night when no one else was around. Too bad he was always busy with something. 

Ronnie's car was already parked on the driveway when Scott pulled up to his house. He quickly parked and got out of his car. He wasn't gonna risk Beth's wrath if he was late again. He jogged up the driveway and to the porch. 

The door was already unlocked when Scott touched it, so he let himself inside. The smell of lasagna hit his nose. From the hallway, he could see Benjamin running around in the living room. He smiled and walked into the house. 

"Smells good," he greeted, coming into the kitchen where Ronnie and Beth were. 

Beth smiled. "Thanks. Glad you could join us."

Scott shrugged. "Hey, I'm not the one who makes the meetings, I just attend them." 

Beth rolled her eyes and pointed to the cabinet where the plates were. "Set the table."

Scott nodded and walked to the cabinet. 

Dinner was quiet. Ronnie mentioned that until the oil embargo ended, this would probably be the last time in a while that he would have dinner with them in a while. Beth frowned. 

"Well, then who's gonna keep me company while Scott is on tour?" She asked, looking at Benjamin. 

Benjamin smiled, revealing a mouth full of food. Beth laughed.

"Actually, Charlie's moving here. Sometime in March, I think."

Both Ronnie and Beth looked surprised. "Really?" They asked at the same time. 

Scott nodded. 

"I thought he was kidding when he said that," Beth remarked.

During Christmas, Beth and Scott had spent it with his parents and brother. Charlie then had said he wanted to go to California. Lenora, however, did not. She wanted to stay close to her father. 

"Lenora must be happy," Beth muttered sarcastically.

Scott smirked. "Happiest woman alive." 

Beth went to the bathroom as soon as everyone finished eating, leaving Scott and Ronnie alone. With Benjamin, of course. Scott switched seats to sit closer to Ronnie. 

"I think Beth's mad at me," he said quietly. "I think she knows I'm hiding something."

Ronnie looked at him. "Well, you better do a better job of keeping secrets, or we'll both be screwed."

Scott stood up and walked over to the bar. Ronnie followed him. He didn't want Benjamin to hear anything. 

Ronnie sighed. "You know, we haven't slept together since you..."

"Came out?" Scott muttered.

He nodded. "Miss you, I guess."

Scott looked down. "Don't say that here while she’s home."

Ronnie scoffed. "Beth actually complained to me about you."

Scott looked up. "Really?" 

Ronnie nodded. 

Scott closed his eyes. "Fuck."

"She does think you're hiding something." Ronnie then stepped closer to Scott and lowered his voice. "She was complaining about you earlier, and I had to sit awkwardly, pretending I don't know jack shit." 

Scott frowned and sighed. 

"Look, even if you're not into women anymore, you're still married to my sister who I know loves you, so please at least try to fix it. I'll tell her the truth if you don't."

Scott looked at him. "You wouldn't."

Ronnie gave a half-smile and shook his head. "You're right. She'd disown me too, but you get the idea."

Scott nodded.

They heard footsteps and stepped back from each other. Beth came out of the hallway. 

"I gotta go," Ronnie said, grabbing his wallet from the counter. 

Beth's eyebrows furrowed. "Why? It's only 7:10?"

"It takes me an hour to get home," Ronnie replied, going back to the table and picking up Benjamin, whose face was covered in tomato sauce. Ronnie laughed. "I'll wash his face before I leave."

Beth nodded. 

They left shortly after, making the house utterly silent. Beth did the dishes while Scott took a long shower. He changed into sweatpants and a tank top before opening the door that led to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him and dried his hair with his towel. 

"Scott," a voice said behind him. 

Startled, he dropped his towel, turned around, and saw Beth sitting on the little loveseat in their room. Her arms were crossed, matching her cold expression. 

Fuck. 

“What?” He asked, standing up. 

She didn't move. "We need to talk." 

Scott moved to the other side of their bed and sat down, now directly opposite her. 

"I'm not stupid, you know," she began.

"I've never thought or said that."

Beth swallowed and looked down. "I know you're hiding something."

Scott stared at her and didn't say anything. His leg started to bounce in anticipation. 

She looked up, and they made eye contact. Her face was calm, but Scott could see tears welling up in her eyes. Guilt struck him in the face. Still, he wouldn't dare say anything. 

"What is it? I'm your wife, dammit, you can tell me."

Scott kept his mouth shut. 

"Scott, please," she said, this time more desperately. A tear spilled from her left eye. 

Scott felt his own face grow hot.

“You won’t make love to me, you won't even look at me, and when you do, it's a look of pity. What did I do to make you hate me?” Beth asked, her voice breaking. 

Scott swallowed, and his Adam's apple bobbed. "You've done nothing, and I don't hate you." 

"Then what?" Beth asked, standing up. "What are you doing? What is it? If it's not me, then what? What are you doing? What-" Her face paled as she stopped talking. More tears spilled out of her eyes as she glared at him. "You're cheating on me, aren't you?"

A tear slipped out of Scott's eye. He looked away from her.

Beth gasped and fell back onto the loveseat, her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, you are."

Scott wiped his face. He had never heard her say oh my god before. "Elizabeth," he started to say but was interrupted. 

“You bastard!”

Scott looked away. 

This only made Beth angrier. "Stand up and talk, you cheater!" She shouted before striking him across the face. 

Scott grabbed his face, his grey eyes huge in surprise. Beth's face looked guilty almost immediately, but anger washed back over. Scott stood up, towering over his wife. 

"Why? What is she doing that I can't?!"

"I'M A FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL, BETH!" Scott suddenly shouted. 

Beth immediately stopped talking. Her mouth dropped, and her eyes widened. "What?"

Scott started crying. "I'm gay, I'm fucking gay!" He sat back on the bed, shaking as tears rolled off his face and onto his chest. He had never cried in front of Beth before. The only woman who had ever seen him cry was Maria, his childhood nanny.

She stared in shock. Then her shock turned into disgust. Beth wiped her face and sniffed. "Get out."

Scott nodded before wiping his face, standing up, and leaving the room. The door slammed loudly behind him. He sank to the floor of the hallway and buried his hands in his face. 

What had he just fucking done?

Notes:

this volume is so much more chaotic than the previous. and hornier. and more depressing.

Chapter 62: The Marriage of Convenience (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Scott deals with the aftermath of his coming out and asks Ronnie a big question

 

happy sunday!

almost at 2k hits so thank you so much for reading!

Notes:

CW: Homophobia, Rough non-descriptive sex (can be read as semi-dubious consent),

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 62: The Marriage of Convenience  

 

Monday, February 11th, 1974, Running Springs, California



It had been two weeks since the argument that had effectively ruined Scott's relationship with Beth. She hadn’t spoken a single word to him since. He slept in one of the guest rooms and only left the room when Beth was out. He was constantly out of the house, usually just driving around. He had nothing better to do. 

But Beth also had not said anything to anyone about the argument, not even to Ronnie. Maybe she hated him less than Scott thought she did. Still, he was extremely grateful for it. 

He found himself at Ronnie's most times. In doing so, he realized he didn't have very many friends. Just lots of acquaintances. Ronnie pitted him, but he also was a bit upset for Beth. 

That evening, Scott was explaining how tours worked and that he'd be gone until June. 

"I can't believe I'm leaving for a world tour in 16 days," Scott remarked, tapping his cigarette on the ashtray on Ronnie's coffee table.

Ronnie cocked his head. “Well, I guess it's a good thing you're leaving because I think Beth will kill you otherwise.”

Scott scoffed. "Yeah, she probably will. I feel bad for leaving her alone, but I know she wants nothing to do with me. She hasn’t spoken to me in two fucking weeks. How does one go silent for 14 fucking days?"

Ronnie shrugged. "If you're pissed off or depressed enough, anything is possible."

Scott smiled and took another puff of his cigarette. “That is excellent advice.”

Ronnie gave a little mock bow in reply. He then put his cigarette out with his pointer finger and thumb and tossed the stub on the ashtray. “Wish I could travel. Too bad I'm broke as fuck.” He turned to face Scott. “How many countries are you going to?” 

“Um, I don't remember.”

Ronnie gave him a "seriously" face.

“Oh, don't give me that. I think we're hitting most of the western European countries, Australia, New Zealand, here, Canada, Mexico, and like five cities in Asia.”

“How do you not know where you're going?”

Scott shrugged. “I don't have to. I just need to remember how to sing and play songs.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes and muttered, "Aren't you special?"

Scott smirked and then sat forward. He had been thinking about this for a while. Would Ronnie say yes? Scott wasn't sure he could be alone for three months. "I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"I'm allowed to take a companion with me on tour. Elizabeth is out of the question, so I was wondering..." Scott looked at his feet. "If you wanna come with me."

Ronnie was silent for a good two minutes. "I-I... I couldn't, Scott." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I got a job and a son, and I don't have the time or the money." 

“If you go with me, money will be the least of your worries.”

Ronnie blew air through his nose and snorted loudly. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

"You can have your mom watch Benjamin, and you can lie and say you're job hunting and seeing the country."

"Like they'll believe that."

"You're one of the best liars I know, which is scary, so I don’t think it’ll be hard," Scott urged. "You haven't seen the world or traveled. This is probably your only chance."

Ronnie sighed again and pursed his lips. "You've thought about this for a while now, haven't ya?"

Scott nodded. 

Ronnie leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes. "I'll think about it," he said after another minute of silence. 

Beth was sitting on the couch when Scott got home. They stared at each other silently. Beth was wearing the same knitted navy blue sweater and brown skirt she wore when they first arrived in California. That had only been two years ago. How different it had been. 

"Where were you?" She asked, breaking the silence. 

It was so nice to hear her voice again that Scott almost smiled. "I was at Ronnie's."

"Does he know?"

Scott shook his head. He walked over to where Beth was sitting and sat down. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," she muttered, though she clearly looked annoyed. 

"I'm sorry," he said gently. Scott meant it. He really was. He didn't know that he and Ronnie’s affair would have gone this far. He didn't realize the truth of how he really felt until October. 

Beth frowned. "It's not okay. It's not right, Scott. Physically and mentally. It's an illness. It's morally wrong. This isn’t some marriage of convenience. It’s my life."

Scott almost said that the American Psychiatric Association had taken homosexuality off its list of mental illnesses in December but decided it wasn't a good idea. Scott stayed silent. Nothing better than your wife telling you that you're an abomination. 

Scott swallowed. "I still love you."

Beth scoffed and looked away. "Sure."

Scott stood up from the couch. If she was going to act like this, there was no point in talking. Beth looked surprised by his suddenness.

"Good night,"  he said stiffly before walking towards the stairs and to the guest room. 

He heard Beth stand up and start walking. 

"Scott."

Scott turned. Beth was standing behind him, holding her arms. She wore an expression of guilt. 

"Do you still see the man?"

Scott's Adam's apple bobbed. "Not in a while," he replied. This was partially true since he and Ronnie still hadn't had sex since November. They only made out and gave each other hand jobs. 

Beth nodded. She then did something Scott didn't expect. She grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him down, making them face to face. She kissed his lips harshly.

Scott was surprised and didn't know what to do. Was she trying to fuck the gay out of him? Well, if she wanted to fuck him, he'd fuck her. He'd fuck her brains out. Maybe then she'd shut up. 

Scott grabbed Beth and pulled her to the floor. He pinned her wrists and nearly tore her sweater pulling it off. She was wearing a white blouse underneath it. Scott pulled it off of her, popping the buttons off and landing on the floor next to them. 

Beth was breathing heavily, lying on the wooden floor. Her pupils were dilated. Scott took off his leather jacket while Beth undid his belt. He stood up to take off his pants and underwear and then went back down to Beth, not bothering to take his shirt off. 

He pulled down Beth's skirt, underwear included, before spreading her legs. She gasped as he touched her thighs, which were already wet. Scott hovered over her body. The only thing that covered her body was her bra. She could leave it on. 

He positioned himself and immediately thrust, not bothering to see if she was ready. Beth yelped. He pinned her wrists again as he went faster and harder, letting her moan and scream. 

He didn't pull out until he finished. Beth was gasping for air, covered in sweat, shaking. Panting, Scott stood up and wiped his face. 

"Do you still hate me?" He uttered before turning around and going upstairs. “Happy anniversary by the way,” he then added quietly. 

 

Thursday, February 28th, 1974

 

Ronnie called a day after Scott asked to come on tour and said yes. Scott was really glad that he did because he had already made plans and told the tour planners he was bringing a friend. Scott was surprised by how fast Ronnie closed his affairs. 

Yesterday had been his last day of work after giving a two weeks notice, Mary had already come and collected Benjamin, and somehow, Ronnie had managed to sell his house. Apparently, his neighbor had been eyeing the property for a while and offered to pay in cash. 

Ronnie had put all of his things in storage and explained to Beth and Mary what he was doing. He also added that Scott invited him to join him on tour, so he may join later on if he gets bored or runs out of money. So it wasn't like they were telling a complete and utter lie. 

The encounter between Scott and Beth had released some tensions, but not much. Scott still slept in another room, and Beth probably only spoke a couple of dozen words to him a day. It was better than before though, Scott was sure of that. 

Scott sat in the living room of his house, waiting for the taxi that would arrive and take him to the hotel where he'd meet Ronnie. His bags were already packed and gone. Scott wasn't sure why he was still there. To say goodbye to his wife?

Beth would be alone until June. Would she enjoy it? Would she even call him? Would she look for a divorce lawyer? Scott didn't want to file for divorce. Marriage was safe. He could hide behind its walls, and no one could suspect that something was wrong. He still loved Beth, he really did, but he was gay, and Beth was a conservative, religious girl. A match made in heaven. 

Scott stood and went into the backyard. It was a large backyard, and they had just put a pool in. Scott thought it was dumb to have a pool since they lived a hop, skip, and a jump from the beach, but pools did provide privacy. Something Scott rarely had. 

He pulled a pack of cigarettes out from his pocket and shoved a cancer stick into his mouth. He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, the taste of nicotine hitting his mouth. 

I should stop smoking, he thought. It's bad for me and my voice. Elizabeth can't stand it either. This will really get on her nerves. 

"Your taxi's here," Beth said behind him. 

Scott turned and took the cigarette out of his mouth. "Uh, thanks." 

Beth nodded, glancing at his cigarette between his fingers.

Scott put it out on his jeans and put the bud on the ashtray he kept outside. Beth went inside the house, and he followed her, closing the door behind him. 

Her arms were crossed, and she wore a blank expression on her face. "Don't call me until I call you. After that, you can call me all you want."

Scott nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "If you need anything, Charlie's gonna be here next week."

Beth sighed. "Okay."

Scott wondered if it could get any more awkward. "I'll see you in June."

"You too."

Scott nodded again before walking past her and to the front door. He opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him. He didn't bother to look back. 

The taxi was parked on the side of the road in front of his house. He walked down to it and tapped the driver's window. The driver looked up and rolled down his window. 

"You Mr. McCann?"

Scott nodded. Lucas McCann was the fake name he used for checking hotels and other stuff. Scott got into the back of the taxi and closed the door before buckling up. 

"The Continental Hyatt, right?"

"Yep."

The driver turned the car around and drove off, leaving the neighborhood. Scott glanced back to see if Beth was in the front yard, but when he looked, the only thing that was outside was his car. Scott turned around and sighed. Maybe time away from each other would be good. He knew both of them were looking forward to it for different reasons. 

Ronnie was in the sitting area next to the front desk when Scott arrived. He was smoking and reading a book. Scott was pretty sure he had never seen Ronnie read before. 

"I didn't know you could read," Scott said, standing in front of him.

Ronnie looked up from his book and took his cigarette out of his mouth. "Fuck you."

Scott smirked and sat next to him. "No, seriously, I've never seen you read a book before." 

"I'm not that stupid."

"What's the book?"

Ronnie closed it and handed it to Scott. 

Scott stared at the cover. It was red with a small union jack flag. On the Right of the British Line. It looked old. He handed the book back to Ronnie. "What's it about?"

"Uh, Mom gave it to me while I was dropping off Benjamin. It's hers. Basically, it's about a captain during his time as a blind prisoner of war during World War I."

"Huh. True story?"

Ronnie nodded. "I think this is the first edition. Says it was published in 1917."

Scott glanced at the book. "Damn." 

Ronnie agreed. "I think it was originally my grandma's. She kinda became obsessed with World War I stuff after both of her brothers died in the trenches." 

"Fun."

Ronnie smiled. "Yeah."

Scott leaned back into the couch they were sitting on. "Have you checked in?"

Ronnie nodded. "I was waiting for you before I went back to the hotel room. What time does the taxi to the airport come?"

"Limo, actually."

Ronnie looked impressed.

"In about two and a half hours," Scott said, glancing at his watch. 

Ronnie nodded again and stood up. "C'mon, we got two and a half hours to kill."

Scott stood up and followed him to the elevators. They got in, and Scott found himself signing autographs almost immediately. One of the girls asked him to sign her tits. Scott complied. 

Scott collapsed on the bed as soon as they entered the hotel room. Ronnie's two large suitcases were on the floor next to a chair. The room was quite large, and Scott could tell Ronnie had never stayed in a hotel room this big before. 

"It sucks that we're using this big ass room, and we won't even sleep here."

Scott shrugged, staring at the ceiling. He felt Ronnie sit next to him. 

"What's touring like?"

"You sleep in a cramped tour bus half the time and other times in trashed hotel rooms."

"Sounds like fun," Ronnie muttered sarcastically 

"There's also free sex and drugs."

"Sounds like paradise."

Scott laughed. 

Ronnie swallowed and cracked his knuckles. "How's everything?"

Scott sat up. "With Beth?"

Ronnie nodded. 

"It's... not doing so hot. She called me sick in the head."

Ronnie grimaced. "Yeesh." 

"But she hasn't filed for divorce yet, so... I dunno." 

"Do you still love her?" He sounded like he was more concerned for Scott than Beth. 

Scott nodded. "Yeah." 

Ronnie didn't say anything and sighed. "Knowing Beth, she won't divorce unless she has to. She'll cling on as long as she can until the cold stone truth is set right in front of her. She's always been like that. You're not the first person, and you probably won't be the last."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Ronnie shrugged. "It's the truth."

"Truth can be a dirty little thing."

"Living in a white lie is better then?"

"Depends. You and I are both living one." 

Ronnie didn't argue with that. 

Scott and Ronnie left the hotel two hours later, and like Scott had said, in a limo. As they drove off, Scott saw Ronnie had a dumb grin on his face like he was a child. 

“Never been in a limo before.”

Scott smiled. "I can tell."

"Wish I was rich," Ronnie mused. "I'd dress like a pimp."

"Mary would like that."

They both laughed. 

Scott's expression then turned serious. "Hey, man."

"What?"

"Everyone knows that you're my brother-in-law, and we're close friends. Nothing more in open doors." 

Ronnie nodded. "I agree." 

Scott leaned back into the headrest and closed his eyes. He heard Ronnie light a cigarette. "Did I tell you we're flying in a private jet?"

"Seriously?"

Scott opened his eyes and nodded. 

Ronnie took the cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled loudly. “I hate rich people.”

Scott smirked. 

 

 

Note: If anyone's interested, I made a list of all Scott's tour dates if you want an estimate timeline-wise :) Tis Here

Notes:

My school year doesn't end until June 17th :( I literally do nothing in most of my classes (except literally one) bc we finished the curriculum except noooo, my school has to go to June 17th

 

For Context

Marriage of Convenience: Also called a lavender marriage (though that's more for gay people marrying to hide their sexuality), basically what it sounds like. A marriage for benefits socially or economically rather than love or goodwill.

American Psychiatric Association: In December 1973, they took off homosexuality as a mental affliction (yay)

Continental Hyatt: Now called something else, but this place was infamous for all the celebrities that stayed there and all the fun shit that went down

On the Right of the British Line: This is an actual book, and I think it's fascinating. The edition Ronnie has is also the one I have. It's weird having a book over a century old. Also rather neat.

Chapter 63: Paris (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie. Scott. Paris.

CW: Mentions of drug usage, implied sexual content

apologies if the french isn't 100% percent accurate, translations in endnotes

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 63: Paris

 

Saturday, March 2nd, 1974, Paris, France



Ronnie woke up to Scott groaning. He opened his eyes and adjusted to the sunlight coming into the room. He sat up and glanced to his right. Scott still had his eyes closed, but he looked miserable. Ronnie poked Scott's arm. 

“Morning.”

Scott opened an eye and groaned louder. He sat up, clutching his forehead. 

Ronnie glanced around the hotel room. There were various empty bottles of champagne on the floor, along with the faint smell of weed. He glanced back at Scott. “Last night was fun.”

“This headache is not,” Scott muttered. 

Ronnie bit back a laugh. “Didn’t know you were such a lightweight.”

“Shut up," Scott snarled. "At least I'm not an alcoholic,” he added after a few seconds. 

“Suck a dick,” Ronnie replied, stretching. 

“Already sucked yours,” Scott mumbled under his breath. 

Ronnie picked up his pillow and threw it at Scott. Scott laughed, but it looked painful. Ronnie threw the blankets off of him and got out of the bed, standing on his rumpled clothes. He turned back at Scott, who was staring at his bare ass. 

“I'm showering, wanna join?”

“Uh... yeah.” Scott pushed the covers off of him and stood up. He was upright for barely five seconds before he stumbled and nearly fell over. “Fucking stupid ass legs,” he cursed quietly. 

Ronnie snorted. “Do you want me to hold your hand?”

Scott scowled and held up his middle finger.

Ronnie went over to where Scott was. His eyes were bloodshot, so Ronnie assumed he looked the same. 

“You okay?”

Scott nodded. 

Ronnie turned and walked to the bathroom. It was cleaner compared to the rest of the hotel room. He turned on the shower and watched as water began to fall from the head. He heard Scott close the door behind them. 

It was awkward for a moment. They had never bathed together. Ronnie glanced at Scott, and they made eye contact. 

Scott then broke the silence. “I'm getting in if you're not. I smell, and I'm cold.”

Ronnie smirked and stepped in, hot water pouring on his body. Scott closed the curtains and kissed Ronnie, his hands covering his face. Ronnie put his hands around Scott's waist and deepened the kiss, pulling Scott closer, covering them both in water. 

 

***

 

"So... we got a day to kill. What do ya wanna do first?" Scott asked as they exited the entrance of the hotel. 

Ronnie shrugged. "We can go to the gateway thingie."

"The Arc de Triomphe?"

"Uh... yeah."

Scott had played his first show of the tour yesterday after arriving in the country the day before. Ronnie had technically been to Europe, but he didn't really count Ireland since it wasn't the mainland. He never thought he'd ever go to France or anywhere on the continent. Paris seemed like an ideal city, but Ronnie quickly discovered it was pretty dirty in some areas, and you had to keep an eye on your wallet. Especially if you were a tourist. 

It was a 30 minute walk to the monument from the hotel. It was only 9:30 in the morning, but the place was already crawling with tourists. Scott had his camera on him, and he took pictures of the Arc and Ronnie. Ronnie wasn't sure why. 

“Why are you taking pictures? You can't show them to anyone but me.”

Scott shrugged. "For safekeeping. Might wanna look back on it when we're old and have erectile dysfunction."

Ronnie laughed. “For you at least.”

Scott flipped him off. 

“What time do we have to leave tomorrow?”

“Oh, not until 11 in the morning, we got plenty of time.”

Ronnie nodded. They had the whole day to kill. 

“Wanna see the Mona Lisa?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Well, might as well if we're in town.”

While Scott glanced at the map to see which way to walk, Ronnie spotted a bike rental shop across the busy street. He bumped Scott's shoulder.

Scott looked up. “What?”

“When was the last time you rode a bike?”

Scott was silent for a minute. “...Shit, I don't remember.”

“We should rent two for the day. It'd be fun.”

Scott nodded. “Yeah.”

“How good's your French again? I heard you say a couple of words last night, but I wasn't paying attention to the show.”

Scott gasped loudly and put his right hand over his chest. “You weren't paying attention?”

“Man, there was this groupie, and she had massive porno tits.”

“I'm so offended.”

“Shut up.”

They both laughed. 

“No, but seriously, how good's your French?”

Je parle français couramment,” Scott answered.

“I have no idea what you just said, so I'm just gonna say fuck you too.”

Scott laughed again. “You stay here, I'll go rent the bikes.”

Ronnie nodded as he walked off. He glanced around the monument. The street was busy with cars, and the Arc was swarmed by tourists. So far, he had heard at least 10 different languages, all within a few minutes. 

His eyes wandered around until they fixed on a familiar-looking figure standing a few yards away from him. Ronnie frowned. He had hoped Nguyệt would leave him alone since Benjamin wasn't around, but there she was. He was, of course, seeing her less due to the amounts of liquor and pills he had consumed, but they were starting not to help. Why couldn't she leave him alone? Why could Ronnie not move on?

He had been thinking about her the night before. Specifically, a conversation they once had. 

“Can you speak French?” Ronnie had asked, running his hands through Nguyệt's long black hair.

Nguyệt, who was lying on his chest, nodded. “Not perfectly, but I can hold a conversation.”

“Your father taught you?”

Nguyệt nodded. “He taught French and English at a high school in Hue.”

“Why'd your family leave the city and settle... here?”

“You mean to move into a tiny village in the jungle?”

Ronnie nodded, ears slightly pink.

“This was his home village. After my mother died, he moved us here.”

“You wanna go to France after all this?”

Nguyệt sat up from his chest and looked at him. “With what money? I know you have none.”

Ronnie pretended to be hurt. “Ouch, you’ve broken my heart.”

Nguyệt giggled. “I want to see the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles.”

“Why?”

“I want to run down its halls in a long flowing dress.”

Ronnie smiled. “Well, I'll do it with you. Minus the dress.”

Nguyệt laughed again. “Do you promise?”

Ronnie nodded. “And we'll dine on fancy champagne and pasta.”

“Pasta is Italian.”

“They’re next to each other. Close enough.”

She smiled and put her hand on her swollen stomach. “Baby's kicking.”

Ronnie put his hand next to Nguyệt's, and sure enough, he felt a little kick. He smiled. 

“Ronnie,” a voice shouted behind him. 

Ronnie turned and saw Scott across the street with two bikes. He gave a thumbs up and ran across the street when there were no cars. 

“I hope the French don't mind me jaywalking,” Ronnie muttered, grabbing the bike from Scott. 

“They're too busy being snobby.”

Ronnie smirked. 

They both got on the bikes and took off, Scott leading since he knew where he was going. It was a 12 minute ride. It had been a while since Ronnie had ridden a bike. It reminded him of his childhood, constantly biking everywhere. Mary had given away his bike to a church charity while he was in Vietnam. He was kinda annoyed about it, but then again, he hadn't ridden it since junior year, right before he got a growth spurt and shot up almost 6 inches. 

They stopped in front of a bridge that led across a river and to the Eiffel Tower. They watched as a small tugboat passed by. 

“You've been here before, haven't you?”

Scott nodded. “Yeah, I was like 9 or 10. Mona Lisa's kinda disappointing.” 

“Most major monuments tend to be disappointing. I remember when I saw the Washington Monument. It's a tall, pointy stick of marble.” Ronnie then added sarcastically, “That's so amazing. A stick of marble.”

Scott cocked a brow. “Does anything impress you?”

Ronnie pointed directly toward the tower in front of them. “The Eiffel Tower's pretty impressive.”

“Wanna go up to the top?”

“Is it free?”

Scott shook his head. “It is cheaper though.” 

“Well then, fuck the museum, we’re going to the Eiffel Tower.” 

The tower was much taller than Ronnie thought it would be. He wasn't afraid of heights but being 906 feet in the air was quite daunting. He felt dizzy when he got out of the elevator and almost stumbled getting out. He was very glad that he didn't. And Scott was the one with the bad hangover. 

Ronnie walked over to the rails and looked down. The people down below looked like tiny ants, and Ronnie could easily crush them.  Ronnie was then suddenly glad he wasn't afraid of heights. Then he'd probably have a shit fit.

“Whaddya think?” Scott asked next to him.

“People are so tiny,” Ronnie muttered.

“I meant the view, dumbass.” 

“Oh,” Ronnie uttered, looking up. 

The view was amazing. Ronnie could see all of Paris from where they were standing. He could see the Arc, buildings, the stadium Scott had played yesterday, and even the hotel they were staying at. 

“It's... just wow.” Ronnie was at a loss for words. 

Scott nodded and took a step back. “Smile.” He held up his camera.

Ronnie scoffed and smirked, staring at the camera. 

Scott took a picture before a woman tapped his shoulder. They had a brief conversation in French, and Ronnie thought she was a fan, but then Scott gave her the camera and walked over to where Ronnie was. 

“She offered to take our picture,” Scott explained. 

Ronnie nodded. “Smile,” he muttered, using the same cheery annoying tone Scott was using.

Scott laughed and leaned closer to Ronnie, smiling as the French lady took the picture. 

She took a couple before handing the camera back to Scott. 

Merci,” Scott told her as she handed the camera. 

The woman smiled. “De rien.” she glanced at Ronnie.

Merci,” Ronnie said, smiling. He knew that meant thank you. 

Ronnie took a few pictures of Scott before they went back down. 

There were a few restaurants on the first level of the tower, but Scott wanted to eat at a little cafe across the river he had spotted biking. Plus, the cafe was cheaper. 

It was a cute little nook with a great view of the tower. They sat outside at a little table as the waiter handed both of them menus. Of course, they were in French, so Scott had to translate anyway. 

Excusez-moi? Avez-vous un menu en anglais?” Scott asked the waiter as he handed them menus. 

The waiter shook his head. “Non, vous devrez traduire pour votre ami. C'est que bien?”

Scott nodded. “Il va vivre.

The waiter laughed and left. 

Ronnie rolled his eyes as he lit himself a cigarette. “Okay, Mr. Showoff.”

“I was asking if they had an English menu for you.”

“Still a showoff.” 

“Don't be jealous.”

“I'm not jealous, I can speak two other languages too. Four if you count Morse code and American Standard Code. Though, Irish ain't that useful. Most Irish can't even speak it.”

“Then you're special.”

“Sure.”

Scott tapped at the menu. “Want me to read off the menu?”

Ronnie tapped his cigarette on his pants and nodded. 

They returned the bikes and walked back to the hotel after lunch. Scott had gotten a call from Peter, his manager, saying that he needed to speak with him. Ronnie found himself alone in the hotel room for him, though he hadn't used it since he had been in Scott's the previous night.  

It was only 1, so Ronnie left again, grabbed the spare francs he had, and went downstairs to get a taxi. He had the lobby call him one since he couldn't speak French. It pulled up shortly after, and Ronnie got in. The driver was a short Indian man, somewhere in his 50s.

Bonjour monsieur, où aimeriez-vous aller?”

Ronnie sat there. “Uhhh... Versailles?”

The man laughed. “American?” He asked in a thick French accent. 

Ronnie nodded. “Sorry, I don't speak a lick of French.”

The man waved his hand. “It is fine. We go to Versailles?”

“Yes, sir.” 

The car started and left the hotel. 

“How long in Paris, monsieur?” The driver asked, not taking his eyes off the road. 

“I leave tomorrow,” Ronnie replied. 

“Zourist?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Not really. My brother-in-law is on a business trip, and he invited me to come with him.”

“Very nice of him.”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah.”

The palace was surprisingly empty. Ronnie bought himself a ticket and went inside, expecting more people, but to his surprise, there were only roughly a dozen people in the main hall. 

Versailles was beautiful. Adorned with lavish paintings, marble sculptures, and intricate designs across the walls. Ronnie wondered how much it costs to keep up with the place. Probably way more than his yearly income check. 

Former yearly income check, Ronnie corrected himself. You ain't got a job anymore.  

He quietly wandered around staring at the various paintings and luxurious furniture until he passed by a large hallway he had seen a dozen times in pictures but never in person. The Hall of Mirrors. 

It certainly lived up to its name. Large mirrors surrounded by gold statues and crystal chandeliers covered the room. On the other side were windows, equally as grand. The French definitely knew how to be extravagant. 

Ronnie walked around the hallway, avoiding the other people. He stopped in front of a mirror and stared at himself. A tall, lanky man with black hair stared back. His right eye's pupil was smaller than his left, due to light coming in from the window behind. He had gotten so used to it, that Ronnie had almost forgotten his left eye was permanently dilated. 

He finally noticed a blond man standing behind him, hands in his jean pockets. Ronnie turned.

“How did you know I was here?”

Scott shrugged. “I went to look for you, but you weren't in your hotel room. I then asked the main lobby if you had ordered a taxi and if so, to go where.”

“So you followed me?”

“Kinda.”

“That's not creepy,” Ronnie mumbled. 

“Why are you here?” Scott asked, taking his hands out of his pockets and crossing them. 

“I made a promise to someone that I'd take 'em here a long time ago. Didn't exactly work out.”

Scott swallowed. “Your wife?”

Ronnie nodded. “She could speak French like you. She-” Ronnie paused as he felt his throat close up. He took a deep breath and sighed loudly. “Let's just go.” 

Scott nodded, though he wore a deeply concerned expression on his face. 

As they left the hallway, Ronnie glanced back briefly. He almost wished that Nguyệt would appear. It'd give him some form of closure. Then again, she never appeared when he was alone with Scott.

 

***

 

“What is that?” Scott asked loudly so the Frenchman would hear him over the music. 

“Heroin,” Ronnie replied, staring at the little baggy with brown crystals. 

Jean-Luc laughed. “You done zis before?”

Ronnie shook his head. “It was pretty easy to get in Vietnam. Knew guys who did it.”

Jean-Luc pulled out another bag. “A gift for vous, monsieurs.”

Ronnie stared at it. Typically, when someone offered you free drugs, you said no because it was probably shit or laced with some other crap.

“You sure?” Scott scratched the side of his head.

Jean-Luc nodded. “Oui, I have American rockstar and friend at my party. It is on me.”

Ronnie shrugged and grabbed one of the bags. “Why the fuck not?”

Scott did the same. 

Jean-Luc smiled like a madman. 

Scott had gotten invited to a party the night before by Jean-Luc Martel, the son of a rich French socialite. It was at some old house with vineyards surrounding it. The manor was already jam-packed when Ronnie and Scott arrived around 9:30. This Jean-Luc was clearly popular. 

The ginger stood up and dragged Scott up as well. “Come, I have friends I want veux to meet.”

Scott shot Ronnie a confused smile before being dragged off. 

Ronnie laughed and turned to a pretty brunette woman sitting next to him. Her breasts were almost popping out of her shirt. He smiled at her. “Hi, I'm Ronnie.”

The woman giggled. “Cléa.” She pointed at the heroin. “Avez-vous besoin d'aide?”

Ronnie shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I don't know what you're saying at all.”

Cléa giggled again. “Erm... 'elp wit zat?”

“Oh.” He leaned closer to her. “Can we go somewhere a little more private?”

Privé?”

“What you said.”

Cléa stood up and grabbed Ronnie's hand. She led him through the house, stepping over drunk and high people, scooting past the dancers, and walking past couples having sex. As he walked by, he saw Scott making out with Jean-Luc. 

Jean-Luc was straddling Scott, his hand running through his shaggy blond hair. Scott was shirtless, and Ronnie could see he was undoing Jean-Luc's shirt. Scott didn't notice that he had walked by. 

Cléa finally opened a door in a hallway after going up two flights of stairs. How big was this house?

The room was empty except for a bed, a nightstand, and a chair. Sitting in the chair was another woman in boxer braids, only wearing white mini shorts, which contrasted against her dark skin. 

“Rosalie,” Cléa called out.

Rosalie opened her eyes and stared at the two of them. “Qui est le joli garçon?”

Il est américain.

Rosalie smirked and stood. “What is your name?” She had less of a French accent than both Cléa and Jean-Luc. 

“Ronnie.” He held up the baggie. “Wanna do heroin with us?”

Cléa closed the door behind them as Rosalie walked over to Ronnie. She kissed him promptly on the mouth as Ronnie felt Cléa wrap her arms behind him. At this point, Ronnie decided he was in heaven. 

Rosalie stepped back. “You do zis before?”

“Seen it, haven't done it.”

Rosalie smiled. “I suppose we'll have to teach you.”

“Guess you will,” Ronnie replied, a smirk starting to creep on his face. 

Cléa laughed once again, though she probably didn't understand what her friend said. 

Notes:

left my airpod case in a taxi last night i wanna fucking die <3

 

FRENCH Translations

Je parle français couramment --> I speak French fluently

De rien --> You're welcome

Excusez-moi? Avez-vous un menu en anglais --> Excuse me? Do you have a menu in English

Non, vous devrez traduire pour votre ami. C'est que bien --> No, you will have to translate for your friend. Is that fine?

Il va vivre --> He will live

Bonjour monsieur, où aimeriez-vous aller --> Hello sir, where would you like to go?

Avez-vous besoin d'aide --> Do you need help?

Prive --> Private

Qui est le joli garçon --> Who is the pretty boy?

Il est américain --> He is American

For Context

Arc de Triomphe: One of the most famous monuments in Paris, France

Hall of Mirrors: The Hall of Mirrors is a grand Baroque style gallery and one of the most emblematic rooms in the Royal Palace of Versailles near Paris, France. The grandiose ensemble of the Hall and its adjoining salons was intended to illustrate the power of the absolutist monarch Louis XIV. Located on the first floor of the palace's central body, it faces west towards the Palace Gardens. (Wiki)

Chapter 64: Charlie and Dinner (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Beth deals with recent news and gets to really know the like-minded Charlie

 

happy pride month! hope everyone is doing well :)

 

also, thank you so much for 2k hits <3

Notes:

CW: homophobic person alert, usage of homophobic slurs by said person (which isn't very cash money of me to put on the first sunday of pride😔 )

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 64: Charlie and Dinner

 

Saturday, March 16th, 1974, Long Beach, California



The door of the little medical room creaked open. Beth looked up and saw the nurse who had taken her vitals and urine sample earlier. The nurse closed the door behind her and walked over to Beth. 

“Congratulations, Mrs. Stern, you are pregnant,” the nurse said with a big toothy smile.

Beth's insides churned. “Oh, that's wonderful,” she replied, giving an equally big smile. Shit.  

“Oh, you'll be just fine dear, I remember my first pregnancy. I was so scared and so excited at all the same time.”

“This isn't my first,” Beth muttered.

“Oh, that's good. How many children do you have?”

“None.”

The nurse's smile wavered. “Oh. Well... congratulations, ma'am,” she said before leaving the room. 

Beth sighed. “Wonderful, another pregnancy and with a gay husband,” she mumbled to herself. Could her life be any soapier?

When she arrived home, she sat next to the telephone and stared at it. With both Ronnie and Scott gone, Beth found herself lonely. Ronnie had been right about her church friends. They were quite superficial. She hadn't called Scott, though. Nor did she want to. 

She knew she would have to eventually, but she had no desire to. Would he even answer if she called? Beth wouldn't if she were him. 

Beth then decided to phone her mother. She planned to inform her but not say anything else until she got around to calling Scott, which honestly could be a day to three months from now. 

“Hello?” Mary asked. 

“It's me, Mom.”

“Hello, sweetheart. How are you?”

Beth frowned. “I'm... okay, I guess.”

“What is it, darling?”

Beth sighed and swallowed. “I found out earlier this morning that I'm pregnant again.” 

“Oh, that's wonderful,” Mary cheered in delight.

“Is it?” Beth replied glumly. 

Mary sighed. “Oh, Beth…”

“I'm just... worried that I'll miscarry again, Mom. If I can't do it the first time, can I even do it again?” Beth wiped a tear from her eye. 

“I know that feeling, mo grá.”

“You do?”

“Ronnie wasn't my first pregnancy. I got pregnant right before your father and I left Ireland. I had a miscarriage four months in. When I was pregnant with Ronnie, I thought I'd miscarry again, but faith, prayer, and luck gave me your brother.”

Beth smiled. “Glad to know I'm not alone.”

“I'm always a phone call away. You'll be fine, baby. And so will my grandchild.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you for telling me, honey,” Mary stated kindly. “Can I tell Shannon?”

Beth nodded. “Yeah, you can. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.”

“Bye.”

"Bye-bye." 

Beth put the phone down. Mary had made her feel better. She always did. Well, she was her mother. It was kind of her job to do so. 

Beth glanced around the house. It felt so big being alone. Gloria wasn't coming until Monday, so Beth had the weekend to herself. Well, almost to herself. She had invited Charlie, Lenora, and Kyle to dinner to welcome them to California. They were supposed to come around 6:30, and it was already 2, and Beth still hadn't started on dinner. 

She was planning on making lasagna and had already set the ground beef to thaw in the sink. She stood up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen. She had nothing else to do, so she might as well start on dinner. 

She made the meat sauce and the cheese filling and boiled and cooked the noodles before putting the dish in the oven to bake. Soon, the house smelled like cheese and tomato sauce. 

Lasagna was an easy dish to make. Even if you messed up the order of the pasta sheets and filling, once it went into the oven, nobody would notice. The only problem with it was that it took forever to make. By the time Beth had put it in the oven to cook, it was already 4. (And she needed it to set for at least an hour.)

Beth sighed loudly. Being a housewife with no kids was very boring. Maybe she was glad that she was pregnant again. A baby would give her something to do other than mentally wallowing over her husband. How did her life even end up like this? Opposites attract? Because clearly, they don't. 

The timer went off loudly, shaking Beth from her self-pitying thoughts. She quickly put on oven mitts and took the steaming hot dish out of the oven. The smell of melted cheese and garlic filled the room. Beth set the dish on the stove to cool and took a step back to admire her work. If there was one thing she could do, it was cooking. 

She took off her oven mitts and yawned. At least she was done with that. Beth sat back down on the couch and turned on the tv. She kept on a rerun of an earlier episode of M*A*S*H. She wasn't too big into war-themed shows, but she and Scott used to watch it together during new episodes. Back when everything was wonderful and normal. Before they got married. 

Is that where it had all gone down the drain? Getting married? Beth knew they had rushed it, not even waiting two full months before tying the knot. Ronnie had told them he thought it was too soon, and that they should wait. Beth knew he was right now. Would it be the same if they had waited to get married? They had seemed so in love then. Look where they were now. Beth wouldn't have believed it if someone had told her Scott was gay. Strange how a single year could undermine everything. 

Finally, Beth heard a loud knocking on the door. She smiled and stood up. 

Wonderful, she thought. They're here.

Beth walked over to the front door and unlocked it before opening it. Charlie stood on the porch holding a ceramic dish. Lenora and Kyle were nowhere to be seen. 

“Hi,” Beth greeted, hugging Charlie.

Charlie hugged her back. “How are you?”

“A bit tired but okay. Come on in,” Beth replied, stepping back into the house. 

Charlie followed her and closed the door behind him. 

“Where's Lenora and Kyle?” Beth asked.

“Kyle's got a fever, so Lenora stayed behind. She wanted to tell you how sorry she was.”

Beth nodded. "I understand. I'm glad you came."

Charlie smiled. "Me too. Smells great."

“Lasagna's for dinner.”

Charlie nodded and handed Beth the dish he was holding. “It's cheesecake Lenora made.”

“Aw, thank you, I'll go put it in the fridge.”

Beth walked to the kitchen and put the cheesecake in the fridge. When she turned, Charlie was standing behind her.

“Yes?”

“Your house is huge,” he informed her.

Beth giggled. “Well, not as big as Celestion.”

“Probably just as expensive.”

Beth nodded. She had been so shocked at how expensive California was when she first arrived.

“Please, sit down. Do you want something to drink?” Beth told Charlie, gesturing to the bar counter.  

“Uh yeah, a beer,” Charlie answered, pulling out a stool from underneath the counter and sitting down. 

Beth opened the fridge again and pulled out a beer bottle. She closed it and then opened the drawer next to it and grabbed the bottle opener. She handed both to Charlie. 

“Thanks.”

Beth nodded. “You’re welcome. So, what do you think of California, other than the price?”

Charlie snickered. “I knew it was a liberal state, but I didn't realize it was this liberal.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I saw two fucking dykes holding hands like they were normal somehow." He laughed. "I think the liberalness is affecting Scott.”

Beth didn't say anything.

“You saw the picture of him in Brussels? He was wearing eye makeup on stage.”

Beth's eyes widened. “He was?”

"You didn't see?"

Beth shook her head. Scott was practically flaunting around. “No, I didn't see.”

“Someone's been hanging out with Bowie a little too much,” Charlie muttered, smirking. “If I didn't know him any better, I'd call him a fuckin’ raging fag.”

Beth sighed, trying not to react to Charlie's last comment. “I wouldn't know anyway, I haven't met any of Scott's friends or acquaintances since his first tour.”

“Really?”

Beth nodded.

“Is everything okay between you two?”

Beth shrugged. “Scott's not the same person I fell in love with.”

Charlie frowned. “Sorry to hear that.”

Beth sighed. “I'm sorry, I don't mean to vent.”

Charlie shook his head. “It's fine, honestly. You're not the only one with marriage problems.”

Beth gave him a concerned look. “Is everything okay with you and Lenora?”

Charlie took a sip of his beer and sighed. “Her dad's dying, and we're here. Maybe 5 years ago she would have loved to live here, but people change as time goes on. She resents me, I guess.”

Beth frowned as she poured herself a glass of water. “Here's to crumbling marriages,” Beth mumbled, raising her glass in the air.

Charlie laughed and raised his bottle. “Cheers.”

Beth took a sip of water and set the glass. “Enough wallowing, ready to eat?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Beth giggled as she grabbed two plates from a cabinet. 

Notes:

great news, i got my airpod case back also i have finals tomorrow and wednesday so wish me luck

Chapter 65: Dublin (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie hangs out with cousin Líadan in Dublin, and Scott gets shocking news

Notes:

CW: Sexual references, some angst at the end

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 65: Dublin

 

Friday, March 22nd, 1974, Dublin, Ireland



Today was the last day of the European leg of the tour.  Ronnie found it almost ironic that the last show would be in Ireland, his mother's home country. Ronnie had been to Dublin as a child, but only to the airport and straight to Galway for his grandmother's funeral. That didn't really count. 

While they were in London, Ronnie decided to call and tell his mother that he was with Scott now. He told her that while he was in Virginia, he called Scott, and they got to talking, eventually where Scott asked him to meet him in London and that he'd pay for the ticket. He explained to his mother he was “low on money” and decided to join Scott earlier than planned. That way, he'd get to go to Ireland. 

Mary believed him. She seemed really happy that he was gonna go to Ireland and informed him that his cousin Líadan was in Dublin, and he should visit her while he was there. Ronnie agreed. He talked to Shannon and Benjamin, who Ronnie was very happy to hear from, before hanging up. 

After landing in Dublin, Ronnie decided to call his mother again. The house line wouldn't answer, so he called her work.

“Mom?”

“Ronnie?”

“Honey, do you know I'm at work?”

“Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.”

“I'm on my break anyway, don't worry,” Mary consoled, but Ronnie knew she was only saying that so he wouldn't feel bad.

“I wanted to tell you that I'm in Dublin. Scott and I landed about two hours ago.”

Mary gasped, clearly delighted. “Oh, you are?”

Ronnie smiled and nodded. “Yeah.” 

“You're going to go to the pub I told you about, right?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, Mom.”

“And visit Líadan?”

“We're meeting in 20 minutes.”

Mary sighed. “Good. It's a shame you're only there for a day.”

“We can always go back together,” Ronnie countered.

“That is very true,” Mary muttered. There was a pause, and Ronnie heard another muffled voice for a second. “Okay, I have to go back. I love you very much.”

“Love you too. Bye, Mom.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

Ronnie left the phone booth and lit himself a cigarette. He inhaled deeply and exhaled, blowing smoke from his nostrils. Scott was at soundcheck, meaning Ronnie was meeting Líadan alone. She had given him her address, but they had decided to meet outside of her apartment complex instead of Ronnie actually going inside. 

“I have the exterminator over, and it'll smell like rat poison for a wee while. We can go to a pub instead,” Líadan had told him over the phone when he was in London. 

He was actually already at the apartment, arriving early in case he got lost. Surprisingly, he didn't. He sat down on the curb, watching as the cars went by. It was weird watching cars drive on the left side of the road. He tapped his cigarette on the concrete, looking at the grey sky. It was definitely gonna rain.

“Ronnie?” A voice asked behind him.

Ronnie turned and saw Líadan staring at him.

Ronnie smiled and stood up. “Hey,” he greeted as they hugged each other. She smelled like books and cheap perfume. 

“You're early.”

Ronnie shrugged as he dropped his cigarette on the ground and stomped on it. “I was afraid I'd get lost.”

“Fair enough.”

“How are you? Haven't seen ya since Beth's wedding.”

Líadan shrugged. “Living on cheap coffee and whiskey. Workin' on my Ph.D. I graduate next year.”

“Jesus, you're gonna be a doctor?”

“Not a medical one, much to me Mam's disappointment.”

They both laughed. 

“Well, you're doing a hell lot better than I am,” Ronnie mused. 

“Technically, you could get Irish citizenship and go to college for free here.”

Ronnie was surprised. “Really?”

“Your mam's Irish, therefore you can get citizenship pretty easily.”

“Mom would get a kick out of that, me moving here.”

“We could be neighbors,” Líadan remarked. 

Ronnie grimaced. 

Líadan laughed. “I'm not that bad.”

“I have a must be an hour away from all relatives rule.”

“That's smart. I think I'd off meself if Mam lived with me.”

Ronnie laughed. 

Líadan rubbed her arms. “I'm hungry, ready to eat?”

Ronnie nodded. “Mom wanted me to go to a pub called-”

The Ole Paddy?” Líadan offered.

Ronnie nodded. “How'd you know?”

“Knowing Aunt Mary, I guessed she'd say there.”

“Yeah, she told me it was where she met my dad. I dunno why she wants me to go there, considering my father is a fucking asshole, but ya know, might as well.”

“The food's not too bad there, typical greasy pub-bar food, but pint's cheap.”

“Alcohol and cheap. My two favorite words.”

Líadan snickered. “C'mon, it's not too far. We can walk.”

“Lead the way, lassie,” Ronnie said, doing the best Irish accent he could.

Líadan jerked back. “That is a terrible impression.”

“You're from Northern Ireland, meaning you don't count.”

“Fuck you, McKittrick.”

Fuck you, McKittrick,” Ronnie repeated.

They both looked at each other before laughing again. 

The Ole Paddy was a small pub smashed between two much larger buildings, though they looked just as old as the pub. It wasn't too crowded, but the smell of grease and beer hit Ronnie's nose almost immediately. He had trouble believing that his mother worked there when she was only 17. 

The bartender recognized Líadan as they walked in. 

“Well, if it isn't my favorite cunt from Belfast.”

Líadan smirked. “And with a guest,” she said, gesturing to Ronnie.

The whole pub was staring at them now.

Ronnie glared at his cousin. 

Líadan paid him no notice and walked right over to the bar and sat down. Ronnie followed her, feeling the eyes of everyone watching him. 

“Who's this then?” The bartender asked. 

“My cousin Ronnie, Mary's kid. He's visiting from California.” She glanced at Ronnie. “Ronnie, this is Oscar, the current owner.”

Ronnie nodded as he shook hands with Oscar. “Nice to meet you.”

“Christ, you look exactly like yer dad. Got yer mum's eyes though.”

Ronnie shrugged. “Sadly.”

Oscar laughed. “How's that bastard?”

“Alive, I think. Haven't seen the motherfucker since I was 16.”

Oscar nodded. “I never liked him, thought he was a rat bastard.”

“And look how he turned out,” Líadan added.

Ronnie smirked. 

“How's Mary then?”

Ronnie nodded. “She's good, she misses Ireland.”

“You'll tell her I said hello?”

“Course.”

Oscar smiled and grabbed two pint glasses before filling them to the brim. “On the house,” he told them, pushing the glasses towards them.

“Thank you,” Ronnie said, surprised.

Líadan nodded in thanks before sitting down at an empty booth. Ronnie sat down across from her. 

“If I had known you would get me free beer, I would have forced ya to visit me a while back.”

Ronnie laughed. “I think I love this place.”

“Oscar would have married Mary if yer dad hadn't shown up."

Ronnie nodded. “I can tell.”

Líadan took a sip of her beer. “So, how's life?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I'm single, I'm out of a job, but I get to travel for fucking free.”

“God, I wish that were me.” She took another sip. “What happened to that black girl you were with at Beth's wedding?”

“She dumped me back in August.”

Líadan laughed. “Why?”

“Because I am a cheating whore,” Ronnie said with a straight face.

Líadan raised her glass. “Cheers to that.”

Ronnie raised his glass as well, beer splashing around the edge. “What about you? You still single?”

She shook her head. “I'm seeing this guy. Name's Cillian. Just passed the bar exam.”

“You like him?”

Líadan smiled. “I do. A lot.”

“That's good.”

“How's the kid? Benjamin's his name?”

Ronnie nodded. “He's with my mom until I get back.”

“Scott must really like you to ask you to tour with him.”

“I think I'm his closest friend,” he admitted, sighing. “I mean, he's friends with all these fuckin' famous people, but I think he's lonely really. I think he tells me shit he's never told Beth.”

“Is stuff okay with them?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Not sure, honestly. I think they're now realizing how different they really are. Beth's my sister, and I love her, but I get on with Scott so well... just... I mean fuck, I get along with you better than Beth, and we what, see each other once a year?”

Líadan sighed. “I'll be honest, I know you better than I know Beth and Shannon, but that's cuz we're older. You're my favorite cousin on both sides, really.”

“Me too.”

Líadan rolled her eyes. “I'm your only cousin.”

“Hey, you could be my least favorite,” Ronnie warned jokingly.

They both snickered. 

“I wish Scott was here. He's so hot,” Líadan muttered, biting her lip.

Ronnie almost verbally agreed.

“I mean, I know he's my cousin-in-law, and I have a boyfriend, but shite, he looks like some American cowboy sex god.”

Ronnie laughed loudly. 

“Which proves my point, yer lot are all cowboys.”

“I'm not a cowboy.”

Líadan's eyes narrowed. "Can you ride a horse?"

"Yeah, but-"

“Ever work on a ranch or farm or somethin’ like that?”

“Yes, but I've never worn a cowboy hat.”

“Have you worn cowboy boots?”

Ronnie sighed, defeated. “Yes, I have.”

“See? Cowboy,” she affirmed.

Ronnie decided not to argue with her. 

They ordered an early dinner after the third round of beer. It was the typical fish and chips, but they gave him and Líadan an extra plate of fries.

“You guys really like your potatoes,” Ronnie mumbled. 

“Shut up and eat, I'm paying.”

Ronnie listened to her. 

By the time they left The Ole Paddy, Scott's concert was supposed to start in 40 minutes, and Ronnie was slightly drunk. Ronnie got a taxi while Líadan paid. He saw her come out, rubbing her eyes.

“Guess this is where we part.”

Ronnie shook his head and handed her a VIP backstage pass for tonight's concert. Her eyes widened.

“I'm not that much of an asshole.”

“Oh, thank you,” she said, kissing his cheek.

Ronnie blushed. “Don't thank me, thank Scott.”

The taxi arrived, and the two of them got in. 

“The stadium,” Ronnie told the driver.

The driver nodded and took off.

“Wait till I tell my friends what I did on Friday,” Líadan muttered. 

Ronnie smiled. He wished that Líadan lived closer. They got on so well. If only Beth weren't so... Beth. 

"Ya know what happened to me in London?"

"What?"

“Scott's manager Peter came in and said there's someone who wants to meet Scott, right? He says I can come along. We go to this really large hotel, right? Then to a hotel room. We knock, door opens, and there are these two guys, and Peter shakes the taller guy's hand, and Scott yells, holy fucking shit.”

Líadan eyed Ronnie. “Go on.”

“I didn't recognize him because he was wearing normal clothes. It was Elton fucking John.”

“NO FUCKIN’ WAY!” She shouted, startling the driver.

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, he wanted to meet Scott. I was sad because all my records are home, and he couldn't sign 'em. He's a nice guy.”

“I hate you,” Líadan murmured.

Ronnie smirked. “There, there.”

Ronnie also wanted to say that he was pretty sure Elton and his manager were totally fucking or something, but he decided to keep it to himself.  

They arrived shortly after. Ronnie paid the driver and got out of the car. There was a long line waiting to get in. Líadan groaned.

“Don't worry, they'll let us right pass.”

“You sure?”

“Just show them the backstage pass,” Ronnie replied, pulling out his own from his pocket. 

The backstage pass was like a magic ticket. You show the people at the door, and they let you right with everyone staring at you in jealousy. Ronnie weaved through the crowds and to the entrance of the stage. He showed the guard their passes, and he let them pass right through. 

The backstage was busy. People milling around, setting stuff up, and whatnot. Ronnie spotted Scott, who was messing around on an electric guitar.

“Scott!” Ronnie shouted.

Scott looked up and smiled when he spotted Ronnie.

Ronnie walked over, Líadan behind him. 

“Where've you been?”

Ronnie pointed to Líadan. “We've been drinking and talking.”

Líadan smiled. “How are you, Scott?”

Scott nodded. “Tired, and my throat hurts.”

Líadan smirked.

Ronnie noted that he was wearing eye makeup again. Not that he cared. He looked good. Ronnie wouldn’t tell him that though, made him sound a little too queer for Ronnie’s taste.

“It's nice to see you again,” Scott said, standing. “I gotta go on soon, hope you enjoy the show.”

Líadan nodded. “Thank you for the pass.”

Scott shook his head. “No problem. We are technically family.” He smiled again before walking away from them and closer to the stage.

“Now what?” Líadan asked.

“We watch Scott act like an idiot on cocaine who's having fun.”

“He wasn't already doing that?”

Ronnie snorted. 

 

***

 

Líadan left after the concert. She thanked both of them, hugged them, and took a taxi home that Scott insisted he pay for. Ronnie and Scott took a taxi back to the hotel, but Ronnie brought a groupie back with them, some girl named Molly or Maggie, Ronnie wasn't sure.

They ended up fucking in Scott's room, with Scott watching while drinking. Molly/Maggie was really loud, which annoyed Ronnie, but she felt really fucking good. A sacrifice Ronnie was willing to make. When he finished, he pulled out, took off the condom, and laid on his back, breathing loudly, his pants around his ankles. 

Molly/Maggie, also breathing loudly, sat up and looked at Scott. "Wanna go for round two, baby?" She asked seductively.

Scott shrugged and took a swig of his beer. "Sorry hon, can't pop a boner."

She frowned. "Well, call me if you're in town again." She glanced at Ronnie. "Both of ya."

The girl got dressed and left quietly, unlike how she was in bed. Ronnie pulled his pants back up and walked over to where Scott was sitting. 

“Think you might be getting erectile dysfunction a little earlier than you anticipated.”

Scott cocked a brow. “Really? Wanna check?”

Ronnie smirked and sank to his knees. “Why not?”

Before Ronnie could undo Scott's belt, there was a loud knock on the door. Ronnie quickly stood back up and fixed his hair, grateful that he hadn't taken his shirt off earlier. He opened the door and saw Peter standing in the doorway.

“Beth's on the phone,” he said, looking at Scott.

Scott looked shocked. “Uh... okay,” he muttered, standing up and leaving the room. 

Peter stood in the doorway so the room wouldn’t lock on them.

“How'd she call?” Ronnie asked, sitting on the bed. 

“She was given a list of the hotels Scott’s staying at and their numbers,” Peter explained.

“Smart. She hasn't used them anyway.” 

Peter nodded. “I noticed. Is everything alright between them?”

Ronnie shook his head. "No, not really, but I'm not at liberty to say." 

Peter nodded again. 

Scott came back a little bit later, his face white as a ghost. He moved past Peter and sat on the bed next to Ronnie, eyes wide.

“What?” Peter asked.

“She's pregnant,” Scott muttered.

“Beth's what?!” Peter and Ronnie exclaimed at the same time.

“Shit, is it yours?” Peter questioned.

Scott looked up and glared at him. “Yes, it’s mine, god damn it,” he barked.

Peter held his hands up. “Jesus, sorry.”

Scott shook his head. “It's fine. I'm just stressed out.”

Peter nodded. “I'll leave you alone,” he said before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. 

Ronnie swallowed and looked at Scott. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Scott replied harshly.  “Now's not the best time.”

Ronnie was slightly taken aback by his tone and harshness, but he stood up anyway. “I get it, I'll leave,” he muttered, opening the door and closing it behind him. 

When the fuck did Beth and Scott screw? Ronnie thought as he left the room.

Scott ignored Ronnie the next day. He ignored him when they landed in New York, and he ignored him while they were in Philadelphia. Ronnie was hurt, but he understood. He was Scott's brother-in-law. Guess his mind was warping around the cause of the pregnancy. Rather than fuck it up even more, Ronnie didn't do anything. He let Scott ignore him. Besides, he could still fuck Scott's girl groupies. 

It was 2 in the morning in Charlotte when Ronnie heard a knocking at his hotel door. He hadn't been sleeping, drinking gin instead. He decided he wasn't gonna sleep alone anymore sober after a nightmare he had two days prior. Sighing, Ronnie walked over to the door and opened it, only to find Scott.

Scott gave Ronnie a pitiful look. Ronnie stepped back to let him in. Scott closed the door behind him as Ronnie set his gin on the nightstand. The only light coming into the room was from the window. 

“How'd you know I'd be awake?” Ronnie asked, walking back to Scott.

“You never sleep,” Scott replied, standing awkwardly. 

“True. Why have nightmares when you can have insomnia and liquor instead?”

Scott smiled sadly.

Ronnie's expression changed into a concerned one. “You okay in there?”

Scott nodded. “Yeah man, I’m just shocked. Just my luck, I sleep with her to try to fix things between us, and she gets pregnant.”

“Do you want a kid?”

Scott looked at the floor. “I'm still not ready to have one. I mean, when she miscarried, I was heartbroken, and I hate to say this, but a part of me was relieved. I wasn’t ready to be a father, much less now.”

Ronnie sighed. “You'll be fine, and from what I've seen, you're a pretty good dad.”

Scott looked up, almost hopeful. “Really?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, way better than me. I just sent my kid to his grandma’s. I am a shitty father.” He laughed. “Fuck.”

Scott pursed his lips. “No, you’re not. Benjamin adores you, and for a single dad, you’re doing pretty well.”

Ronnie laughed lightly. “Now you're cheering me up?”

Scott shrugged. “Guess so,” he whispered, leaning his head on Ronnie's shoulder.

Ronnie touched Scott's head. “Wanna lay down?” He asked gently.

Scott looked up and nodded. Ronnie grabbed Scott's wrist and led him to the bed. He got on it first, laying his head against the headboard before he felt Scott lay his head on his chest. Their legs intertwined with each other as Ronnie ran his hand through Scott's hair, even longer than it was three months before. They stayed like that for a while until Scott spoke up.

“No one's ever done this.”

“Done what?” Ronnie asked, stopping what he was doing. He could feel Scott trembling on his chest. 

“You're the first person who's run their hands through my hair, let me lay down on their chest, and I know you kiss my shoulder when you think I'm asleep.”

Ronnie was quiet. Beth didn't do that? 

Scott continued. “My mother never really did it. If she did, it was before I could remember anything. Beth—other girlfriends—they never do it. They don't realize how much men crave this kind of intimate touch.”

Ronnie looked down at Scott and saw his eyes were watery. Ronnie frowned. He put his hands on Scott's face. Scott pulled up until they were at eye level. Ronnie kissed him. It wasn't like their usual kisses and sex encounters. It was gentle and slow.

Scott pulled back first and smiled, though Ronnie saw a tear on his cheek. Scott laid back down on Ronnie's chest, wrapping his arms around him. Ronnie started running his hands through Scott's hair again quietly.

Notes:

I was laughing to myself when I wrote the Elton John and his manager fucking (He didn’t come out until 1977/78 but he said he was bi and didn’t actually come out as gay until 1988)

also, i love the end, like poor man just wants to have non-sexual intimacy

 

Líadan name is pronounced LEE-din

Chapter 66: Cheater (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Beth deals with her frustrations over Scott, and she finds comfort in the like-minded Charlie

Notes:

CW: Sexual content

I'm officially out of school for the summer! Hopefully, I can spend a lot more time writing because I would like to get all 120 chapters written before the end of the year (which probably won't happen, but a girl can dream). I have 101 chapters completed, and I'm currently writing 102, but I've been a bit slow on that.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 66: Cheater

 

Wednesday, April 10th, 1974, Long Beach, California



Beth told Charlie and Lenora she was pregnant the second time they came over for dinner (Well, the second time for Charlie.) They congratulated her and asked how Scott felt. Beth had lied and said that he was really happy and couldn’t wait. She phoned him the next day and told him the truth. He seemed even more shocked than she was. 

Well, he knew now. Beth wasn't a terrible person for keeping it hidden anymore. It was out in the open. Beth was pregnant. A pregnancy would hide the fact of how messed up their marriage was. 

She was glad Charlie was there. In just a month, Beth had found a close friend in her brother-in-law. Unlike Scott, they were quite similar. Same beliefs, ideals, and opinions. She had at first found him snarky and a slight bully towards his younger brother, but now, someone she could talk to. Of course, she still hadn't told him about Scott's sexual desires, but she did tell him that he had admitted to cheating. 

Today, Charlie was supposed to come over for dinner, now a once a week tradition they had begun. (Lenora was supposed to come too, but she wasn't well, but Beth didn't mind.) It gave Beth something to do other than stare at her still flat stomach. She had a rotisserie chicken she had bought that morning in the oven to keep warm, as she was too lazy to actually cook something. The chicken tasted great anyway. 

The phone rang suddenly, shaking Beth from her thoughts. She walked over and picked it up, expecting it to be spam or something. 

“Yes?”

“Hi, Beth,” Ronnie's voice said from the other line.

Beth smiled. “Jeez, took you long enough to call me.”

Ronnie laughed. “Sorry, I've been busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Traveling, drinking, watching Scott make a fool of himself.”

“You're with him now?”

“Yeah, we actually met up in London. Met up with Líadan in Dublin. She says hi.”

Beth smiled. “Well, aren't you lucky?”

“I am really enjoying abusing rich brother-in-law privileges.”

Beth laughed. She missed her brother, even if they argued all the time, and was super annoying. It reminded her of their childhood, though Ronnie wasn't the same person he was 5 years ago. He was more emotional now. And more of an asshole at times. 

“Where are you? Detroit? Tampa?” She asked after it got too silent.

“Nashville.”

“How's that?”

“It's pouring rain right now, but concert's still happening. Also, I can’t seem to escape country music. It’s killing me.”

Beth suppressed a laugh. “You don't mind being poured on?”

“One time, it rained non-stop for like five straight weeks in Vietnam. So no, not really.”

That sounded horrid. “Yikes,” Beth muttered.

“So... baby's coming.” Ronnie's voice sounded awkward.

Beth nodded. “Scott told you?”

“Yeah, when he came back out, I'd never seen him look so pale before. Looked like a ghost. I can only imagine how you felt.”

Beth sighed and scratched her arm. “Honestly, I think he was more shocked than I was. I was surprised, but more like oh crap shocked, not I am going to pass out shocked.”

Ronnie snorted. “I thought he was gonna faint. He just yelled at Peter instead.”

“Poor Peter,” Beth mumbled. She liked Peter. 

“What ya doing for Easter?”

Beth shrugged. “It sprung up all of a sudden. Can't believe it's in four days. I'm flying down to Kansas City tomorrow. I'll meet with Eileen, and we'll drive to Ridge's Creek together.”

“Scott and I plannin' to go down after Chicago, so I'll miss Easter by a day or two. Maybe we'll see each other.”

Beth frowned. Her flight home was on the 16th. “Will you be there before the 16th?”

Ronnie sighed. “Shit, no. We'll miss you by a day.”

Beth was sad that she'd miss her brother, but she wasn't sure if she could face Scott. “That sucks.”

“Yeah.” Ronnie was silent for a minute. “Well, I just wanted to call to see how ya doing.”

Beth nodded. “Maybe we'll get lucky and see each other at Easter or Easter Monday after all.”

“Maybe.”

“You better visit when the tour's in LA.”

Beth could hear Ronnie laughing. “I promise. I'll call Mom on Easter, we can talk more then.”

Beth nodded. “Bye, Ronnie.”

“Bye.” The phone line went dead. 

Beth set the phone down. Her brother's speech had been a bit slurred, so she wondered if he had been drinking. Ronnie seemed to be drinking a lot lately. Whenever she saw him, he almost always had a drink in his hand, whether it be a bottle of beer, a glass of wine, or a stronger liquor. It worried her, but she didn't want to accuse her brother of being an alcoholic. That would put him too close to their father. 

She had seen Scott drinking more as well. Was Ronnie influencing him? Ronnie had always been more left-wing, but Beth didn't think he was that liberal. Not men wearing make-up liberal. Maybe Charlie was right. Scott had been hanging out with Bowie, and others like him too much. 

Beth glanced at her watch. 6:47. Charlie was supposed to arrive at 7. She hoped he'd come early since she was tired of waiting around. Gosh, being a childless housewife was so boring. Beth made a mental note to go out more or start a hobby. 

The doorbell rang, almost as if someone had read Beth's mind. She jumped up, left the living room, and quickly walked to the front door. Sure enough, when she opened it, it was Charlie. 

“Howdy,” Charlie greeted, a large grin on his face. 

Beth beamed. “Come on in.”

Charlie nodded and followed her inside, closing the door behind him. Beth walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch, gesturing for Charlie to sit next to her. 

“Sorry Lenora couldn't come,” he muttered, sitting next to her.

Beth shrugged. “She's sick, it's not her fault.”

“She's actually not sick. She wanted to stay behind and repack all of the shit I packed because apparently, I do a lousy job. She told me to say she was sick so it wouldn't sound as bad.”

“She faked being sick so she could pack bags?”

Charlie nodded. “She-uh has really bad OCD, and if it ain't not done right, she goes absolutely crazy. It drives me nuts.”

“I wondered why she was such a neat freak,” Beth mused. “You're packing for Easter then?”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, we leave tomorrow night. Are you going back home for Easter?”

Beth nodded. “I leave tomorrow too. I just finished packing like an hour ago.”

“Maybe we'll see each other at the airport.”

Beth smiled. “Maybe.”

Charlie then sighed. “I got other news too.”

Beth cocked her head. “What?”

Charlie swallowed. “Lenora's stayin' in Texas after Easter. She and Kyle are movin' back.”

“Why?”

“Her daddy's dying. The doc says he don't expect he'll make it to Thanksgiving. She wants to be there for him. Lenora's all he’s got since her mother died.”

Beth frowned. “But you just moved here.”

“I wanted to come here, but actually being here... it just ain't me. Besides, when my dad goes, I'll get the ranch. Somebody's gotta take responsibility and care for the family.”

Beth noted the shade thrown at his brother. “Will you come back after Easter?”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, I ain't leaving till summer.”

Beth smiled. She was glad he'd be there longer. Without Lenora or Kyle. Just him and her. Beth's then smile wavered. She was glad Lenora was going. She was glad Charlie was gonna be alone. With her. And she was disturbed by that thought.

“You alright? You were smiling, and then it looked like you just drank spoiled milk.”

Beth gave a half-hearted smile. “Oh, nothing, I was just thinking.”

“'Bout what?”

Beth's cheeks turned slightly pink. “That's a secret.”

Charlie wiggled his eyebrows. “Guess I'll have to find out.”

“Guess you will,” Beth replied, smiling again. 

They talked a bit longer on the couch before she served the two of them dinner. They ate quietly, staring at each other. Beth wasn't sure if she liked the way Charlie was looking at her. It was an intense stare but discrete at the same time. She had seen that kind of stare before but wasn't too sure where, when, or who. 

He offered to do the dishes afterward. Beth refused at first, but he insisted, saying that a pregnant woman shouldn't be on her feet all the time. Beth had almost forgotten she was pregnant. She had spent the evening talking with Charlie, finding herself thinking things she knew weren't right. She was alone. So was he. And he was handsome. 

“Washed, dried, and put away,” Charlie announced, going back to the couch where Beth was lounging on. 

“Thank you,” Beth answered, yawning.

“Tired?” He asked, sitting next to her. 

Beth nodded. “I'm always tired nowadays.”

“You look cute when you yawn. Like a little cat.”

Beth blushed again and sat up. 

Charlie grinned warmly and reached out to tuck some of Beth's hair behind her ear.

Beth's eyes widened as she felt him touch the side of her head.

“You have beautiful hair,” he mumbled, stroking her long blonde curls. "You are beautiful."

Beth leaned away. “Charlie... don't.”

“Why?”

Beth stared at him. “Because it's wrong? Because we're both married? Because you're my brother-in-law?”

“The first two didn't stop Scott. Beth, you're so lonely. You look so sad when you think people aren't watching. And don't tell me you don't want this. I know you feel the same way.”

Beth swallowed. “I don't.”

“Then why’d you look so happy that Lenora was goin’ and I was staying? We’ve been fuckin’ tangoing all night. I know you want me.”

“Charlie,” Beth whispered. 

“When was the last time a real man made love to you?”

Beth looked away, feeling her face grow red and hot. She could feel herself grow wet. She felt Charlie pick up her hand and kiss it gently. He moved to her finger and kissed each one. He moved closer and kissed the side of her arms, moving up until he reached her shoulder.

Beth turned back to him, his brown eyes staring right back at hers. She wanted this. No matter how wrong it was. She felt so alone. "Kiss me," she practically begged, leaning toward his face. 

Charlie brought Beth's lips to his, and they made contact, smashing against each other as skin rubbed against skin. It had been so long since someone had actually properly kissed her that Beth felt like she was 16 again, a young, naive virgin.

Charlie brought his hands to her shirt and pulled it up to her bra. Beth ran her hands through Charlie's hair, pulling him closer to her body. When they broke for air, Beth was gasping.

“Wait... what-what about... Lenora?” She panted.

“I called her earlier and said I was tipsy and couldn't drive, so you were letting me stay the night.”

“You sly dog,” Beth remarked.

Charlie smirked as he pulled off his shirt and went back down to pull off Beth's. Beth sat up and unhooked her bra, yanking off the straps and tossing it next to Charlie had thrown their shirts. She stood up and grabbed Charlie's hand. 

“The bedroom,” she gasped as the cold air hit her nipples. 

Charlie followed her into the bedroom, taking off his socks and shoes. When Beth opened the door, she pulled down her skirt with her panties and watched as Charlie's eyes widened in lust.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered as she laid back on the bed, and he hovered over her. 

Their lips touched again, this time harder and needier as Beth struggled to undo Charlie's jeans. Charlie's hand slipped between her thighs, and she gasped against his lip, shaking as he touched her. 

“God, you're wet,” he said in a hushed, lustful tone.

Beth spread her legs and arched her back. “Please,” she pleaded in a whisper. 

Charlie finished undoing his pants and pulled them with his under, his dick now out in the open. He climbed back on top of Beth and kissed her left breast as his fingers found her nether region and slipped inside.

Beth moaned, touching Charlie's arms.

 

***

 

Beth woke up to soft snoring. She opened her eyes and glanced to her right. Charlie lay there, asleep. The events from the night crossed her mind, and she touched her stomach. She didn't feel guilty. Not one bit. If anything, she felt satisfied.

Notes:

(•_•) this just got more confusing.
btw, thanks for all comments, i love seeing and replying to them :)

 

NOTE: I've done a lot of editing recently on previous chapters, nothing too big to have to go back and read, but I wanted to let y'all know :)

Chapter 67: Chicago (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Scott and Ronnie spend the day in Chicago and get much more than expected

Notes:

This is the longest chapter so far, over 5,000 words!

CW: Mentions of abuse, sexual content (it's consensual, but a tad bit... uh... y'all will see)

 

non-English translations in end notes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 67: Chicago

 

Tuesday, April 16th, 1974, Chicago, Illinois



“How long is the drive from here to Ridge's Creek?” Scott asked, glancing at the map Ronnie was holding.

Ronnie studied the map and did some mental math. “Uh, pretty sure it's eight hours or so.”

Scott groaned. “I'm not driving that.”

“Well, you better hold the map and tell me where to go tomorrow,” Ronnie replied, folding the map up and tossing it on the hotel bed. 

Chicago marked the end of the first leg of the American tour. After the show yesterday, Scott would have a five day break until continuing in Dallas, his hometown. They had both decided to spend one more day here before driving down to see Mary, Shannon, and Benjamin. Ronnie was looking forward to seeing his son. 

Scott waved his hand. “Yeah, yeah. Back to the important thing here. I'm fucking starving.”

“Not my fault you missed the hotel buffet.”

“You could have woken me up.”

Ronnie shook his head. “Nah, food's more important.”

Scott stuck up his middle finger. 

“Well, why don't you order room service or some shit?”

“Dude, we're in Chicago. I'm gettin' a hotdog.”

“Good point. It's already lunchtime anyway.”

They left the hotel shortly after and walked around, looking for a hotdog vendor as well as seeing the city. To Ronnie's surprise, it took them twenty minutes before they found a hotdog, and even then, the line was super long. Both of them groaned but stood in line anyway. 

“Ya know, the one thing I've noticed on this tour is that I only get paps before the show and right after. Like right now, there's nobody with a camera. No one recognizes me.”

Ronnie nodded. “Beth said that you get them at home.”

Scott shrugged. “They know I live there. But like right now, I'm just Scott,” he muttered as he stepped toward the hotdog cart, ready to order.

“Hi, can I get-” he glanced at Ronnie. “Want one?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, can I get two?” He asked, holding up the number with his fingers.

“Two?” Scott asked.

“Yeah.”

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the vendor. “Three hotdogs, please.”

The vendor nodded and started to make the hotdogs. “A dollar and five cents please,” the vendor added as he started to add the condiments to the first hotdog. 

Scott pulled out a dollar and a nickel. The vendor took it and put it away before starting the second hotdog. Scott then pulled out a Jackson and put it in the tips jar. The vendor noticed, and his eyes widened in shock.

“Thank you!”

Scott shrugged innocently as he took the three hot dogs. “Thank you for the hotdogs.”

Ronnie grabbed his two hot dogs from Scott and immediately bit into one of them. “Fuck, that’s delicious,” he muttered, his mouth full of food.

Scott took a bite of his. “Mhmm.”

They walked over to an empty park bench and sat down, eating in silence. Ronnie finished both of his hotdogs before Scott finished his. He licked the leftover mustard on his finger before crumbling the little cartons the dogs were in into a ball. Scott glanced at him.

“You're a pig.”

Ronnie flashed a grin. “Oink oink.”

Scott scoffed and finished the rest of his hotdog. He burped loudly and sighed.

“And I'm the pig?”

“Excuse me.”

“You're not excused,” Ronnie replied.

“Fuck off.”

They glanced at each other for another second before laughing. 

“Ya know... I'm still kinda hungry,” Scott admitted.

“I could eat some more,” Ronnie responded.

Scott gave him a judgmental look. “How?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I have a fast metabolism.”

“But you had a buffet for breakfast.”

“I worked out afterward. That's why I was covered in sweat when I came back.”

Scott decided not to argue with him and stood up. “There's a restaurant that looked nice a block back. Wanna go there?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Why not?” He stood up and followed Scott back to the restaurant they had passed earlier. 

The restaurant, a nice steakhouse, had just opened when Scott and Ronnie inquired, so the place was pretty much empty. They sat on the outside balcony of the steakhouse, which was on the second floor. 

“This is pretty nice,” Ronnie noted, looking around.

“I wonder how expensive the menu is,” Scott muttered.

Ronnie crossed his arms. “Well, I can tell by the decoration it's well out of my budget.”

Scott smirked as a young woman with long, wavy brunette hair and pinkish-white skin walked over to them in a simple black and white waitress uniform. She carried two large menus and a smaller one. 

“Hello, I am Tina. I am your server,” she said in some kind of Eastern European accent. She placed the menus in front of them. “Little menu is wine menu. Drinks to start?”

“What's your wine with the highest alcohol percentage?” Ronnie asked, eyeing the wine menu.

“Uh... California Cabernet Sauvignon.” She pronounced Sauvignon as Save-von.

“I'll have that. Whole bottle.”

She looked a little surprised as she wrote that down but not as confused as she looked when she made eye contact with Ronnie. Her eyes wavered, almost like she recognized him but couldn't place where.

“Just bring two wine glasses,” Scott told her.

Tina nodded and left awkwardly. 

“That was weird,” Ronnie muttered.

Scott looked amused. “She looked at you like you were the famous one. Do you know her?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Never seen her before. She's pretty, though. Wonder where that accent's from.”

“Doesn't sound Russian, but similar.”

Ronnie shrugged. “Maybe Polish or something.”

“Yeah.”

Ronnie leaned back into his chair. “My father lives here.”

“Beth told me when I was here last time.”

“Maybe I should visit him.”

Scott cocked a brow. “Why? You hate him.”

“I do, but hey, I wanna see who's more successful, me or him?”

“Do you know where he lives?”

Ronnie shook his head. “I'll ask the waitress for a phone book. Maybe we can find him there.”

Almost on cue, Tina came back with the bottle of wine and two wine glasses. She set the glasses down and filled both of them halfway. She set the wine down and grabbed her notepad. “Order ready?”

“Can I have the T-bone with the mashed potatoes and green beans?” Scott asked, setting down his menu. “I want it medium-rare.”

Tina nodded and wrote it down.

“I don't want anything right now, but does this establishment have a phonebook?”

She nodded nervously. “Yes.”

“Can I borrow it? I'm looking for someone.”

Tina nodded again before leaving. As she left, Ronnie noticed she was wearing a wedding ring. 

Ronnie took a sip of his wine. “I can't believe I'm trying to find out where my fucking dad lives.”

“Are you gonna punch him or something?”

“Good idea.”

Scott snorted as Tina came back with the large yellow book.

“Thank you,” Ronnie said, taking the book from her. 

Tina nodded before going over to another table near Scott and Ronnie. The place was starting to crowd up. 

Ronnie took another sip of his wine and opened the phone book, looking for the Mc section. He found it and started running through the pages. 

“Jesus Christ, why are there so many McSomethings here? This isn't Ireland.”

“Need help?”

“Nah, I just got to McKay, I'm almost there,” Ronnie replied, turning the page. “McKay, McKay, McKean, McKee... uh McKendrick... McKenzie... McKinley, McKinnon... oh, found McKittrick. Uh... fuck, there's two R. McKittricks. Out of the five McKittricks total too.”

Scott frowned. “Guess we'll have to harass both.”

Ronnie nodded, closing the phone book.

Tina came over to their table with a confused look on her face. “I am sorry for bothering and listen your conversation, but why are you looking for R. McKittrick?”

“Lookin' for Ronald McKittrick,” Ronnie replied.

Tina's face turned into one of shock. “Why are you looking for my husband?”

Both Scott and Ronnie looked at her in shock. “What?”

“Wait, wait, you're married to Ronald Patrick McKittrick, tall guy with black hair and an Irish accent?” Ronnie asked, his jaw dropping.

She nodded.

“You're saying that you're married to my fucking father... which makes you my stepmom,” Ronnie concluded, his face turning white.

Tina paled. “What?”

Scott stared at the table. “Oh my god.”

Ronnie stared at this woman, apparently his stepmother. She was clearly younger than he was. What the fuck was going on?

Tina was shaking, staring at the two of them. “Um... I get off for break in 10 minutes. We talk then.”

Ronnie nodded. “Okay.”

Tina quickly left the balcony.

Ronnie glanced at Scott. “Holy shit.”

“That was the last thing I was expecting today.”

“Dude... I think she's younger than me.” Ronnie made a disgusted face. “She's old enough to be his daughter.”

Scott took another swig of his wine. “I don't think I'm very hungry anymore.” 

Ronnie finished his glass of wine and poured another one in silence. 

Tina came ten minutes later, wearing a tan jacket and holding a purse. She pulled a chair up and sat down between them. “I took rest of day off. It make it easier explaining.”

Ronnie nodded. “Do you wanna do this somewhere… a bit more private?”

Tina nodded. “We can wait for you to eat,” she told Scott,

Scott shook his head. “I don't think I'm that hungry anymore. Can you see if you can send the bill? If my food's ready, I'll take it to go.”

Tina sighed and stood up. “I will.”

When she came back, she told them that they hadn't started yet, but Scott would still have to pay for it. He paid, and the three of them left awkwardly. Ronnie and Scott followed Tina to the Southside and into a small cheap apartment five floors up. 

“It is not much,” Tina muttered as she let them inside.

“Don't worry, my house wasn't much of a looker either,” Ronnie replied. 

She took off her jacket and set her purse on the small dinky wooden table. “Like anything? Coffee? Tea?”

“No, thanks,” Scott answered, sitting down on the couch, which smelled like stale beer and cigarettes.

Ronnie sat down next to him as Tina brought a chair to the tiny living room. She sat down. 

“Is Tina your actual name?” Scott asked gently.

Tina sighed. “Yes and no. My full name is Valentina, but my boss think that Tina sound more American, but I doubt I am fooling anyone.”

“Do you prefer Valentina?” Ronnie questioned.

Valentina nodded. “I do.” She sighed. “I do not know your names. I think I should.”

Ronnie went first. “I'm Ronnie, short for Ronald... junior. I'm 24, and I guess I'm your stepson.”

Scott swallowed. “I'm Scott Stern. I'm his brother-in-law, my wife is his younger sister. Her name is Elizabeth, but she goes by Beth. I'm 23.”

“Scott Stern... like singer Scott Stern?”

“That's me.”

Valentina's eyes widened. “Really?”

Both Scott and Ronnie nodded. 

Ronnie leaned forward. “How old are you, Valentina?”

“I turn 21 in June.”

“You're 20?” 

“Yes.”

Ronnie sighed. “Christ.”

“How did... you marry Ronald?” Scott asked.

“I come here from Riga, Latvia—Latvian SSR... part of Soviet Union. My parents want me have better life, away from oppression of Soviet Union. I meet Ronald at immigrant bar. My visa expire sooner than I could obtain green card, so I married him so I would not get deported. I knew he like me... so it was not hard.”

Ronnie nodded. 

“I knew he was married before. I did not know he had kids until today or why he divorced his first wife.”

“He has three. Me, and my sisters Beth and Shannon. Beth just turned 21, and Shannon will be 12 in May.”

“Do either of you have children?”

“My wife's pregnant,” Scott replied.

“I have a son, Benjamin. He's 3.”

“You are married?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Widowed. Well, technically just single cause I've dated since my wife's death.”

“I am sorry,” Valentina replied before coughing. “Why did your father leave your mother?”

Ronnie sighed. “He was... physically and emotionally abusive towards me. When I was 15, he almost killed me. My mom walked in on him, tryin’ to choke the life outta me. She kicked him out the next day.”

Valentina looked horrified. “My God.”

He looked at Valentina with a gravely serious expression. “Valentina, I'm gonna ask you a question, and I want you to promise me that you'll tell the truth, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Ronnie sighed deeply. “Does my father hit you or abuse you in any kind of way?”

Valentina shook her head very fast. “No, no, no. He does not.” She had a scared look in her eyes.

“Hey,” Scott whispered gently. “It's okay.”

She stared at the two men a bit longer. “...He does, but only when he is drunk.”

“And often is that?” Scott asked.

Valentina looked away. “Pārāk bieži,” she muttered.

Ronnie decided to assume that meant a lot or something. He frowned, staring at the girl in front of him. He felt angry at his father. It seemed like he hadn't changed a bit. He still abused those weaker than him.

“Do you have a paper and pen?” He asked, cracking his knuckles.

Valentina looked up and nodded. She stood up from her chair and went to the kitchen, where she grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen. Ronnie stood up and grabbed it from her. He uncapped the pen and wrote down his phone number before handing it to Scott. Scott took the paper and did the same. 

“These are our phone numbers. Mine's the one on top. Call if you need anything. After this, I'll be home most nights.”

“Okay,” Valentina said, taking the sheet of paper from Scott. She folded it up and stuffed it in her pocket. “Where do you live?”

“We both live in California,” Scott replied. “Los Angeles area.”

Valentina rubbed her eyes. "Kristus, it has been crazy day."

“Mhmm,” Scott muttered. 

Ronnie leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes. He had a stepmother. He had a stepmother who was 3 years and four months younger than him. Both he and Beth were older than her. She had been 8 when Shannon was born. A fucking child. 

“Wonder what your mom will think of this,” Scott mumbled. 

“What is your mother's name?”

Ronnie opened his eyes. “Mary.”

“Is she also Irish?”

“Yeah, from Galway.”

There was an awkward pause. Scott took a cigarette out of his wallet and lit it. 

“I will... go change now,” Valentina suddenly announced, standing up.

Both Ronnie and Scott nodded as she left to the bedroom. 

Scott took the cigarette out of his mouth and tapped the ashes on his jeans. “God, this is so fucking awkward.”

Ronnie glanced at him. “How do you think I feel?”

Scott sighed. “Are you gonna call Mary tonight or wait until we're in Ridge's Creek to tell her?”

“I think it'll be easier to do it in person,” Ronnie replied.

“Yeah.”

Valentina came back out wearing a long, faded navy cardigan, a too-small black tank top, and frayed bootcut jeans.  From the edge of the tank top, Ronnie could see that a bit of her stomach was pasty yellow, remnants of a healing bruise. Valentina noticed he was staring and wrapped the cardigan around her. 

“I am going make sandwich. Do you want some?”

Scott nodded. “Yes, please.”

Ronnie shook his head. “No.”

Valentina walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She made the sandwiches quietly while Ronnie watched her.

“Uh, where's the bathroom?” Scott asked, coughing while putting out his cigarette on his pants.

“In bedroom,” Valentina replied.

Scott nodded, stood up, and left, leaving Valentina and Ronnie alone.

Ronnie didn't want to be in the living room alone, so he went over to where Valentina was.

She glanced at him walking over. “You look like your father.”

“I know.”

“You hate him.”

Ronnie nodded. “I do.”

She took a knife and cut the first sandwich diagonally, making it into triangles.

“Do you love him?”

Valentina glanced up. “No. I do not know if I hate him. He is still my husband, and I choose marrying him. It is my fault what happens.”

Ronnie frowned. “No, it's not.”

Valentina laughed without humor. “Apparently, it is what I get for being money-sucking communist whore. As he always remind me. I should be grateful that I live in America.”

Ronnie stared at the sandwich. He wasn't sure what to say. “My father's... a fucking asshole. Don't take anything he says to heart. He's just a sour son of a bitch who takes his shit out on other people because he doesn't think that some people are worthy of having a life-” He paused. “With him in it.”

“You were once in my place?”

Ronnie nodded.  

Valentina swallowed. “When was last time you saw him?”

“8 years ago. My sister and I ran into him skiing. Told him to go fuck himself.”

Valentina smiled. “I like skiing also.”

“We can go together sometime. Though I bet your home country has way better slopes.”

“Slopes?”

“The part of the mountain where you ski on.”

“Ahh. I learn new English word every day. It is my third language.”

“What else do you speak?”

“Russian. We were forced to learn in school.”

Ronnie nodded. “Learning a new language is hard. Especially when you throw in slang.”

“You speak more than one language?”

“Yeah, I speak two more too. Irish, which my parents taught me, but I can't read or write in it anymore. I only use it when I'm talking to my Mom or other older family members. I speak Vietnamese fluently. My son's half Vietnamese, so I try to use the language at home.”

“You serve in war in Vietnam?”

Ronnie nodded. “18-month deployment, but I ended up being there for almost 26 months.”

“What happened?”

“A whole lotta shit. I was a prisoner in an NVA camp for 9 months.”

Valentina's eyes widened. “Oh my.”

“Yeah. Scott can speak French and Spanish,” Ronnie quickly added, changing subjects. 

Valentina got the clue and nodded. 

“I can do what?” Scott asked, coming out of the bedroom.

“Speak French and Spanish,” Ronnie repeated.

“Oh yeah.”

Valentina handed him a paper plate with a ham and cheese sandwich on it.

Scott took it. “Thank you.”

“Sit at table. Crumbs attract ants and rats.”

Scott nodded, slightly disgusted. 

Ronnie snickered. “Someone's pampered.”

“Fuck off.”

Valentina brought her own sandwich to the table. Ronnie sat down with them and started smoking while they ate. Scott mainly focused on his sandwich while Valentina stared at Ronnie the whole time. 

Ronnie found it unsettling, but she wasn't staring creepily but rather curiously. Like she wanted to know something but was too afraid to ask. 

If she hadn't revealed herself to be his father's wife, would he have hit on her? He had thought she was pretty. He still thought she was pretty. He pitied her. She was alone in this city with him. At least Ronnie had his family. She didn't have anyone. 

“Why are you staring at me?” Ronnie finally declared, his cigarette hanging between his pointer and middle finger.

Scott looked up.

Valentina shrugged. “I think you look like what Ronald think he look like.”

Ronnie smirked. “I'm flattered.”

Valentina blushed while an idea popped into Ronnie's head. A terrible one, but he was curious. And vengeful. He wondered if Valentina was too. 

She stood up suddenly and took her and Scott's plate to the sink before silently leaving the room. They heard the bedroom door close shortly after. Ronnie pushed his chair back before checking his watch. 3:57.

“That was odd,” Scott commented. 

Ronnie stood up.

“Where are you going?”

Ronnie gave Scott a look.

Scott's eyes widened. “Dude... are you doing what I think you're doing?”

“Depends on what you're thinking of.”

Scott lowered his voice. “She's married to your fuckin' dad. Makes her your stepmom.”

“Who hates my father, thinks I'm attractive, and is younger than me.”

Scott sighed loudly, exasperated. 

“You can't say shit. You're my brother-in-law, remember?”

“Don't drag her into your attempt of revenge. You'll regret it.”

“I'll only do it if she wants to. It's up to her, not me.”

Scott scowled but didn't say anything more.

Ronnie put his cigarette out in the ashtray on the table before going into the bedroom, leaving Scott alone at the table. He opened the door and saw the room was empty. He walked to the open door in the room, which he assumed led to the bathroom. Valentina was sitting on the toilet. She wasn't wearing the cardigan anymore, and Ronnie could see another bruise on her left arm, this once more recent.

“Why'd you leave?”

Valentina deflected that question with another one. “Why are you here?”

Ronnie sat down next to her on the bathtub rim. “To see why you left.”

Valentina smiled weakly. “What are you going to do until he come home?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Dunno. Probably drink his beer. Talk to his wife... maybe a little more than that.”

Valentina turned her head. Her light blue eyes seemed to pierce through Ronnie's soul. “You want have sex?” She asked bluntly.

“I mean... if you wan-” he stopped midway. “Yes,” he then admitted.

“For revenge or something else?”

“I was gonna flirt with you anyway, even if we didn't learn about our relation to each other. And yeah, I guess revenge too. It'd be nice to hold it over his head. Knowing I'm better than he'll ever be. But, if you don't want to, I'm sorry I came on to you.”

Valentina swallowed. She scratched the back of her neck and stared at the chipped tile floor. She remained silent for another few minutes before speaking. “On floor,” she said at last.

Ronnie's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “On floor?”

“It is easier cleaning floor than bed. We have sex here. On floor.”

Ronnie's eyebrows raised. “Right now?”

, right now.”

Ronnie honestly didn't think she'd be this straightforward about it at all. “Why?”

“Maybe you are right. I fucking hate Ronald, and... you must be much better lover,” she replied, peeling off her flimsy black tank top. She wasn't wearing a bra.

Ronnie stared at her bare chest before taking off the jean jacket he was wearing. Her breasts were small and round. 

“Kiss me,” Valentina whispered, getting off the toilet and sitting on Ronnie's thighs like she was riding a horse side-saddle.

Ronnie obliged. He leaned closer to her until their lips made contact. Her lips were chapped and dry, so he licked them with his tongue as she gasped. Her hands were cold as they touched Ronnie's face, moving from his cheeks to his hair. She played with his hair gently as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. 

It was obvious she wasn't used to kissing like that. She gasped and fluttered every time Ronnie would move his lips against hers or move back to catch a breath. He pulled back, wheezing. 

Valentina got off him and quickly unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, pulling them down and kicking them off. Ronnie did the same, but he kept his pants at his ankles. He didn’t bother to take off his shoes.

They kissed again, this time standing as Ronnie touched her breasts. She moaned at his touch, leaning into him as she touched his arms and shoulders. They sank to the floor slowly, both of them moving toward each other's necks. Ronnie groaned softly as he left her lips on his neck, kissing and lightly sucking.

They were on their knees now, so Ronnie gently laid Valentina back on the floor, moving from her neck to her chest and stomach. She pulled up his shirt and helped him yank it off before tossing it next to her jeans. He pulled her underwear off and down to her ankles before slipping between her legs. He quickly pulled down his own underwear, his now very erect cock springing out. Valentina's eyes widened at it.

Svēts sūds,” she stammered quickly.

Ronnie smiled, though he didn't know what she said. His palms were pressed on the cold tiles of the floor as he hung over her. He positioned himself carefully as Valentina's legs wrapped around his waist. He could feel her wet thighs touching his hips. He took a deep breath and thrust forward into her.

Valentina's grip on his arms tightened as she groaned loudly. 

He thrust again, this time deeper, as he felt her walls close around him. He moaned lightly as he started to pick up his pace, going faster and harder, as Valentina moaned and gasped louder, clenching his arms. Ronnie knew it'd leave a mark. 

He looked up into the doorway and saw Scott standing there. They made eye contact, but Scott's face was enigmatic. Ronnie wasn't sure how long he had been there. He wasn't doing anything, only watching, voyeur-like. 

He didn't break eye contact with him as he went rougher, eliciting moans and gasps of pleasure from the woman on the floor. 

Valentina showered after they finished the deed. Ronnie left the room quietly, his jeans undone, carrying his jacket by its sleeve. He felt a sense of satisfaction, as well as a connection with the younger girl. He decided he liked Valentina. He wanted to be her friend. Definitely not her stepson.

Ronnie ordered pizza when she came out, and they ate in silence, not talking about what had just happened or anything else. When Valentina finished, she went back to her room. Ronnie had a feeling she didn't want to be around when Ronald came home. 

Around 7, the door unlocked. Ronnie, sitting on the couch, sat up, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. He felt a bit nervous, but he wasn't planning on showing it. The realization that he was about to see his father became more and more real every second.

The door opened, and a figure stood in the doorway. The lights were off, so Ronnie could only see a silhouette of his father.

“Valentina? Why the fuck's the light off?” A familiar voice barked, stepping into the apartment.

Even after eight years, Ronnie felt his stomach tense at the sound of his father's voice.

Ronald peered around the room and realized two people were sitting on his couch. “Who the fuck are you?”

Ronnie put his cigarette out. “Hiya, Daddy.”

Ronald wavered and stepped back at the sound of Ronnie's voice. He flicked on the light. “...Ronnie?”

“Yeah, it's me.”

Ronald had aged since Ronnie had last seen him. The roots of his hair were grey, and his forehead was lined with wrinkles. He looked wearier, smaller, and yet, the cruel twinkle in his eye hadn't gone away. 

Ronnie stood up and walked over to his father. 

Ronald eyed his son up and down. “You've grown.”

Ronnie cracked his knuckles. He was at least 6 inches taller than him now. “You shrunk.”

Ronald scowled. “Still a disrespectful shit.”

“You don't deserve respect. Not a single fucking ounce.”

The older man stared at his son. Ronnie stared back. He then looked at Scott. “Who the hell are you?”

“Beth's husband,” Scott replied, not moving.

Ronald's eyes softened at his daughter's name. “Beth got married?”

“A year ago,” Ronnie answered. “Shannon was the flower girl.”

“I wasn't invited.” He sounded hurt.

Ronnie bit back a laugh. “Well, you did try to kill me.”

Ronald scoffed and sat down at the table. “I wasn't gonna kill ya. Just teach a lesson.”

“By choking me to the point where I nearly lost consciousness?”

Ronald didn't reply. Ronnie noted that his hands were shaking. Why the fuck was he nervous?

Ronnie glanced at Scott. “Can you wait outside? I wanna talk to him alone.”

Scott nodded. “I get it.” He stood up and walked to where Ronnie was. “If you lay another finger on Valentina, I'll fucking shove the chair you're sitting on up your ass until your intestines rupture,” he declared firmly. He looked dead serious. 

Ronnie had never seen Scott threaten someone before. It was disturbing.

Ronald's face paled. 

“Nice to meet you, Ronald,” Scott then said, smiling before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. 

Ronnie sat at the table, on the opposite side where his father was sitting. 

“Why are you here?”

“I was in town. I wanted to see how much better I'm doing than you. Instead, I learned I have a stepmother younger than me and that you abuse her.”

“And what makes you believe the word of that whore?”

“The bruises on her arms and stomach proved otherwise.”

Ronald didn't reply to that.

“Whatever happened to Linda?”

 “She decided money is more important than love.”

Ronnie laughed. 

“Are you laughing at me?"

"Yes. What are you gonna do about it?”

“Don't think that just cause you're an ad-”

“I can. I will. You don't scare me anymore.”

“I'm glad you think so.”

Ronnie leaned back. “I used to wanna kill you. If there was anyone I wouldn't mind going to jail for, it'd be you. I wanted you to die for so long. You were the person I hated the most.”

Ronald was taken a bit aback by Ronnie's confession. “...I'm not anymore?”

“No, that spot is filled by someone else now.”

“And who's that lucky bastard?”

“The man who had my wife killed, tortured me, and...-” Ronnie wavered off, not wanting to say the last one out loud. 

Ronald swallowed. “Your mother sent me a letter when you were captured. Said I had a grandson that I would never meet.”

Ronnie didn't know this. “Why did she send it to you?”

“I guess to make me feel bad about my only son.”

“And did you?”

“Why would I tell you? You hate me if I recall.”

Ronnie stood up. “Thanks, Ronald. It was an education.”

“About what?”

“That I'm nothing like you. I'm better than you.”

Ronald laughed. “You are so much like me, even if you don't want to admit it.”

“Well, I'll see you in hell then.”

“Get out of my apartment.”

Ronnie walked to the front door. “If you seriously lay so much as a finger on her, I'll kill you.” He walked back to his father and leaned into his ear. “And you won't be the first,” he hissed softly.

Out of everything Ronnie had said, that was what made Ronald's eyes flash and face turn a sickly green. He was the scared one now. 

Ronnie opened the door and slammed it behind him. Scott was leaning against the wall, smoking. “You done?”

Ronnie nodded. “Let's get out of here.”

“Good. I saw a rat a minute ago.”

Ronnie chuckled. “Pussy.”

“Fuck off.” Scott put the cigarette out on the wall and left the cigarette on the floor. Although he was usually nit-picky about littering, Ronnie guessed he didn't want to spend any more time in this place. The walls already had cigarette burns anyway. “How you feeling?”

Ronnie nodded again. “I feel good. Really fucking good.”

Scott smiled as they reached the staircase.

Ronnie looked back one more time, only to see a familiar young woman standing in the hall. He looked away and climbed down the stairs, following Scott. 

Notes:

ronnie's very much a character of i'm going to do this (look me in the eye and tell me he wouldn't do what he just did), fuck the consequences, and then proceeds to hate the consequences is very amusing to me as a writer bc he can get into so many situations most other characters wouldn't. he needs to be bonked by the horny police.

also excited that we're introducing valentina finally, i really love her character

also funny that they talk about slopes bc latvia is flat as fuck

LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

Pārāk bieži --> Too often

Kristus --> Christ

Jā --> Yes

Svēts sūds --> Holy shit

Chapter 68: Like Father, Like Son (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie deals with the aftermath of Chicago and other haunting realizations.

CW: Discussion of alcohol abuse

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 68: Like Father, Like Son

 

Thursday, April 17th, 1974, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



“Welcome home,” Scott muttered as Ronnie drove past the greeting sign. 

“To my favorite shit hole,” Ronnie added, rubbing his right eye. He was tired.

Scott folded up the map and put it back in the glove compartment of the rented car. When they left Ridge's Creek, Scott would return the car in Omaha, which had the rental company Scott had rented from at the airport. Meaning he didn't have to return to Chicago. 

Chicago. So much had happened the previous day, and yet, here they were, driving as if nothing had happened. Ronnie had a stepmother younger than him. He screwed his stepmother. He told his father how he really felt. He felt confident. Well, not as much as he did the night prior.

He turned onto the street that would lead to his childhood house. It still looked the same as it did a decade ago. The only difference was the cars. He spotted his house, the little two-story house that had paint peeling on the ends, his mother's car in the driveway. 

“I just realized y'all don't have a garage,” Scott observed as Ronnie pulled up into the driveway.

“My parents couldn't afford to have a house with one when they bought it.”

“You weren't born here?”

Ronnie shook his head. “They moved here when I was three. Mom was about to give birth to Beth. I was born in Des Moines.”

“Why'd you move?”

“Well, we went to Kansas City right after I was born because they couldn't afford the rent in Iowa. We stayed with my aunt, whose baby had just died. Ronald found a job at a meat processing plant, so we moved here.” 

“Huh.”

Ronnie stopped the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition. “C'mon, I have a son to see.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. 

Ronnie walked to the front door and knocked loudly. Mary and Shannon should have been home. It was after 5

The door opened. Shannon's eyes widened at the sight of her brother.

“Ronnie!” She cheered, hugging him.

Ronnie smiled and hugged her back, ruffling her hair. “Hey, kiddo.”

Shannon seemed to have grown a few inches since the last time he saw her. At 11, she looked to be the same height Nguyệt was. 

She let go and saw Scott standing behind them. She smiled and went over to hug him. Scott grinned warmly. 

“Wow, you've grown,” he muttered as Ronnie stepped inside the house. 

On the couch sat a little boy watching TV. Ronnie smiled from ear to ear as he ran over to the couch and scooped up his son. He was heavier than Ronnie remembered.

Benjamin, who looked very confused at first, gasped when he realized it was his father. “DADDY!”

Ronnie hugged his son tightly, kissing his cheek. He hadn't realized how much he missed him until he saw him. “God, I missed you.”

“Me too.”

Ronnie put him down. “You can say your Ts.”

Benjamin nodded. “Mamó help me.”

Mary came out of her bedroom, wiping her hands on her pants. “When did you get here?” She greeted, hugging him.

“A few minutes ago,” Ronnie replied.

Scott and Shannon came into the house, and Mary let go of Ronnie to greet her son-in-law.

“Hello, sweetheart,” she said, hugging him and pulling him down so she could kiss his cheek.

Scott's cheeks turned slightly pink. “Hi, Mary.”

The blonde woman took a step back and crossed her arms. “So, how are both of you?”

Ronnie swallowed and ruffled Benjamin's hair. Benjamin giggled. “It's been great. We need to sit down, though.”

Scott nodded. “Yeah.”

Mary cocked her head slightly. “What is it?”

“I think everyone should sit down. You too, Shannon.”

Shannon nodded. 

Everyone sat down at the dinner table except for Benjamin, who was playing with his stuffed toys in the living room. Ronnie swallowed and wiped his nose. It'd be easier to say it right away than wait until later. 

“We were in Chicago for the last couple of days, and... I'll just say it outright. Dad's remarried.”

Mary's eyes widened. “He is?”

“What does that mean?” Shannon asked.

“That you and I have a stepmother.”

Mary swallowed. “Who?”

“Her name is Valentina. She's from the Latvian SSR. Part of the Soviet Union.”

Mary nodded.

“She's 20,” Scott added quietly.

Mary looked as if she was about to faint. “...20?” She repeated, her voice an octave higher than normal.

“That means she's younger than you and Beth,” Shannon concluded.

Ronnie nodded. “I know.” He sighed. “Shannon, can you take Benjamin upstairs and hang out with him?”

Shannon looked annoyed. “Why can't I stay here?”

“Listen to your brother,” Mary commanded. She knew what Ronnie was gonna say wasn't very PG.

“But I'm 11,” she protested.

Mary cocked a brow. “Are you talking back?”

Shannon stood up and grabbed her nephew. “Sorry.”

Mary sighed. “I'll tell you later, okay?”

Shannon nodded as she went up the stairs. 

When she was gone, Mary leaned toward the table. “Tell me everything.”

“Ronnie and I went to get hotdogs yesterday, and we were still hungry, so we went to a nearby restaurant. The waitress gave Ronnie a weird look, but nothing came of it,” Scott started.

“I made a comment about seeing Ronald, and when the waitress came back, I asked for a phonebook. I found two R. McKittricks, but I wasn't sure who was who. She came back and asked why we were looking for R. McKittrick. Told her I was looking for Ronald McKittrick, and she looked shocked. She asked why we were looking for her husband.”

“Oh, Saint Joseph.”

“We left shortly after with her, and we went back to their tiny apartment. She explained that her name was Valentina, she was from the Latvian SSR, and she had married Dad when her visa expired and couldn't obtain a green card.”

“I see.”

Ronnie paused. “She said... Valentina said that he hits her when he's drunk. Scott asked how often was that, and she just muttered something in Latvian. Her face looked like it was often.”

Mary frowned. “That poor, poor girl.”

“Yeah, I had more than a few words to say when I saw him.”

“You didn't hit him, did you?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Wanted to. We just talked instead. He's still an asshole. I don't think he'll hurt her again.”

“What did you say to him?” Mary had an extremely worried expression on her face.

“I... it doesn't matter, he won't hurt her anymore. Or anyone else.”

Both Mary and Scott looked like they wanted to press further, but they didn't. Ronnie was glad they didn't. What would he tell them? 

Mary broke the awkward silence. “Having a wife won't affect him paying child support. I still feel I should call her. Have a conversation.”

“Wait a bit. You don't have to do it now,” Ronnie advised. “It's a big shock for everyone.”

“Does Beth know?”

Scott shook his head. “We're gonna tell her in person when we're in LA.” 

Mary nodded. “Alright. I should probably start dinner. You delayed me.”

Scott smiled. “Sorry.”

Mary stood up. “Thank you for telling me, mo grá.”

Ronnie nodded.

She left and went into the kitchen. Ronnie followed her and opened the fridge, opening there was some kind of alcohol.

“I don't keep beer in the house,” Mary muttered, pulling out a pot from a cabinet.

“Do you have any alcohol?”

“Whiskey in the secretary.”

Ronnie left the kitchen and went to where the secretary was, next to the back door. He opened it and found the bottle of Irish whiskey his mother still imported from Ireland. 

“Oscar says hello by the way,” he called out, remembering the man.

“He still works at The Ole Paddy?” Mary called out.

“He owns it,” Ronnie replied. 

Mary said something else, but it was too quiet for Ronnie to hear. He picked up the bottle, opened it, and took a swig. 

“You drink way too much, man,” Scott muttered quietly, coming up behind him.

Ronnie didn't answer and poured himself a glass that was next to the bottle. He opened the screen door and main door to the backyard before stepping out. It seemed smaller than it once was. Probably because Ronnie was now 6'4. He heard Scott behind him, closing both doors.

“I wish you'd open up more,” Scott said, almost in a whisper.

Ronnie turned to face him. 

“I tell you shit I've never told anyone else. No one. I just wish you'd do the same.” 

“No one's forcing you to.”

Scott laughed bitterly. “I know. But you never open up. You rarely talk about the things that bother you. You just drink everything away instead.”

Ronnie clutched the glass tightly. “Got somethin' ya wanna say?”

“You're a fucking alcoholic. Everyone thinks that. I called Mary last week. She told me that she wasn't sure if you should be around Benjamin alone if you're never sober.”

Ronnie laughed. “She said that?” He started to move past Scott, but he stood in front of his door. 

“I get that it helps with the nightmares and whatever, but you're gonna kill yourself. Dying from alcohol poisoning is not cute or poetic. It's just sad.”

“Says Mister I-Do-Drugs-And-Drink-Too,” Ronnie spat out. 

“I'm not trying to drink myself to sleep with pills.”

Ronnie looked away, staring at the setting sun. "How'd you know about that?”

“A while now. I worry about you. Your mother worries about you. You don't have to say everything, but it'll make life so much easier if you share the burden with another.”

“I've told you stuff I haven't told anyone else. Isn't that what you want?”

Scott just sighed.

“Believe me, buddy, you ain't one to talk. You're an adulterous homosexual, remember? You can get executed for both of those in a shit ton of countries. Sodomy's still fucking illegal here in most states. Including here, California, Texas.”

Scott scowled. “And you'd go to jail with me.”

“True. But it'd affect you way more than me, considering your celebrity status.”

“Christ, you're such an asshole.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Scott groaned. “You fucking- just... god,” he huffed, sitting on the chair on the porch. 

Ronnie swallowed some more whiskey. He was acting like a dick, and he knew it. He set the now nearly empty glass on the table next to him. “I know. I know I have a problem. I know I'm being a major dick. I know that you and Mom are probably right. Last time I went a day sober was in Philadelphia. That was twenty days ago.”

“You don't have to quit completely. Just not every day.”

“If I don't quit completely, I won't quit at all," Ronnie muttered. "Yesterday, I told Ronald I was nothing like him. He laughed and told me I was wrong. That I was so much like him. Startin' to think he might be right.”

Scott frowned. “You're not like him.”

“Well, when you spend eight and a half hours driving, you have a lot of time for your thoughts. I was satisfied last night. Now I feel disgusted by our many similarities. I got my smoking habit from him. It was his beer when I first started drinking. I have anger issues like him, and I leave my kid with Mom, like him. Everyone tells me that I look like him. I even have his fucking name. Maybe I'm starting to turn into him.”

Scott was silent for a while. They both stared at the sunset until it disappeared over the fence. Scott then stood up and put his hand on Ronnie's shoulder.

“You're not your father. You're not anyone else. You're not me, you're not your sisters, and you're not your son. You're Ronnie, and I would be very upset if you were anyone else.”

Ronnie smiled grimly. “Guess you got me to talk after all.”

Scott snorted. “Yes, that was my master plan.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes. “We are terrible people.”

Scott picked up Ronnie's whiskey and downed the rest of it. “Cheers.”

Ronnie raised an imaginary glass. “Cheers.”

The door opened, making a creaking noise. 

“Dinner's ready,” Shannon said. 

Ronnie opened the screen door and followed his sister inside. It smelled like garlic and tomatoes. He grinned. His mother's pasta was one of his all-time favorites. 

 

***

 

Scott woke up to Benjamin sitting on his chest. A sudden weight on his body had made it harder to breathe, waking him up. He opened one eye to see his nephew sitting on him, still wearing his pajamas. Benjamin saw he was awake and gave him a toothy smile.

“Good morning, Uncle Scott!”

Scott blinked. 

“It's time to wake up,” the toddler informed him, nodding seriously.

Scott opened both of his eyes and sat up, pushing the kid off of him. “Good morning to you too.”

Benjamin hopped off the bed and ran out of the room. 

Scott rubbed his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms. He was greeted by the girlishness of his wife's childhood bedroom. The sheets were pink and white, along with most of the furniture. Being surrounded by Beth's old things made him feel bad.

He had called her after dinner, and they had talked for a bit, mostly about the baby. Beth still wanted to name the child Rosemary if it was a girl and Nathaniel for a boy. Scott decided he wouldn't offer any suggestions. From the way she had sounded, it was clear it was her baby, and Scott was secondary. It hurt, but he knew he deserved it. 

He got up and quietly got dressed, listening to the quiet, muffled sound of chatter from downstairs. He left the room and walked down the stairs, where the smell of eggs and buttered bread hit his nose. 

Mary saw him coming down and smiled. “I saved a plate for you.”

Scott nodded and sat down next to her, where a plate was waiting. 

Both Benjamin and Shannon were eating at the table, but Ronnie was nowhere to be seen. Scott dug in anyway, assuming Ronnie was still asleep. When that fucker could sleep, he fucking slept. 

“Where's Ronnie?” He eventually asked Mary, taking a bite of his toast.

“He left earlier this morning. Said he had to do some thinking and wanted some quiet.”

“Do you know where he could be?”

“Probably at the large oak tree outside of town. It was his favorite place when he was younger.”

“Where is it?”

“Off of the main highway. It's the only tree for several miles. There's a trampled grass path leading to it.”

“He walked?”

Mary nodded. “He's been gone since dawn. Would you mind seeing if he's okay?”

Scott nodded. “Sure.”

Finding the path was a little difficult, but Scott knew it was the one as soon as he saw it. After walking a bit, a large oak tree came into the distance. Mary was right. It was the only tree for miles. 

When he got close to the foot of the hill the tree rested on, he could see someone sitting there, smoking rising into the air. 

“Hey,” he called out, walking up the hill.

Ronnie leaned forward, cigarette in his mouth. “Hey.”

"Mary said you'd probably be here."

Ronnie shrugged. "Spent a large part of my childhood here. Have a lot of happy memories.” He paused for a second. “...And sad ones.”

Scott sat down next to him. “Really?”

Ronnie nodded. “I had my first kiss here. With Jennifer, my first girlfriend." He pointed to faded carved initials behind him. "That's us. I made that back in '65. I was 15, she was 14.” He blew air from his nose. “I thought we were gonna be together forever.”

“What happened?”

Ronnie tapped his cigarette on his jean-clad knee. Scott noted he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. “I got called for the draft. It's understandable, not wanting to wait for someone to come home even though there's a chance they may not. Still hurt like a bitch. We had been together 5 years, so when I got officially drafted, I thought I'd propose, right here, this spot.”

“I’m assuming this story doesn't have a happy ending?”

Ronnie laughed and shook his head. “No. She dumped me instead. I guess me going away finally allowed her to let me have it. Sure, I deserved some of the shit she told me. But like... 5 fucking years, and you dumped me.”

Scott swallowed. “That fucking sucks.”

“Haven't seen her since. She went to the University of Maryland afterward. I saw her parents when I first got back. They told me that they wished we had stayed together. I don’t mind now, we had only been with each other. She told me that there’s a world out there, not just in Ridge's Creek. She was right. I think if I saw her again, I'd thank her for dumping me. It taught me some humility, and I got Benjamin, so... not as terrible as I thought it'd be.”

“So, the moral of the story is to not propose to the first girl you date?”

Ronnie smirked. “Yeah, sure.”

“I highly doubt you came out here to think about your ex-girlfriend,” Scott began, changing subjects.

Ronnie nodded, his face more serious. “I had to do some thinking.”

“'Bout what?”

The dark-haired man scoffed. “Everything.”

Scott leaned back. “Everything's a lot.”

“...I'm gonna quit drinking. You were right. Who knows how long it'll be when I start waking up in empty parking lots. I got a life and a kid. I'm not 19 anymore.”

Scott nodded.

Ronnie put out his cigarette and looked away from Scott. “I'm gonna-” He groaned softly. “I'm gonna go back to LA.”

Scott felt like he had been punched in the gut. “What?”

“I mean, this has been the best few months of my life, and I'm grateful you invited me to come with you... but I need to get back to reality. I'm technically homeless and jobless. I don't qualify for unemployment because I quit the job, and the VA stopped sending checks-”

Scott interrupted him. “Wait, aren't you supposed to get a military pension?”

Ronnie laughed and shook his head. “They couldn't give two shits. I wrote a letter when they stopped sending them. Still haven't gotten a reply. It's been 16 months. I have to go in person to harass them about healthcare until they send me to someone. They're fucking incompetent.”

“Oh.”

“It doesn't matter. If I stay, I'll just further fuck shit up in my life. I need to take responsibility for once.”

Scott remained silent. He knew Ronnie was right, even if he didn't want to admit it. He sighed deeply and leaned on Ronnie's shoulder, staring at the open prairie before them. Ronnie leaned into his head, also sighing. Scott soaked up the scent of cigarettes and the cologne he had gotten him for Christmas, knowing it'd be another couple of months before he could touch him like this again. 

Notes:

The part where Scott is awoken by Benjamin sitting on him is based on what happened to me four and a half years ago when I went up to my dad's family farm. Most of our extended family was there, and I went to bed as soon as we arrived bc I was tired, and I woke up to see a toddler sitting on my legs (mind you I was sleeping on the top bunk of a bunk bed), and I'd never seen this kid before, and I was weirded out, but I knew we like most likely related, so I greeted him and asked what him his name was, and he told me and then I figured he was one of my second cousins' youngest brother I hadn't met bc I'm big brain, and we went downstairs together. That was funny. He's cute. I think he's like 8 now which makes me feel very old.

 

For Context

Sodomy was legalized in California in 1976, Nebraska in 1978, and Texas in 2002... yeah and that's bc a case went to the supreme court but we all know how much of fucking idiots they are <3

Chapter 69: There's No Place Like Home (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Ronnie sobers up and moves to Pasadena. Scott gets a shock on arriving home.

 

...chapter 69?

nice

HOLY SHIT 100 KUDOS THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH <33333

Notes:

CW: Non-descriptive sex

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 69: There's No Place Like Home

 

Wednesday, May 15th, 1974, Long Beach, California



“I'm going to miss having you around here,” Beth said from the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water.

Ronnie shrugged, staring at the couch pillow. “You knew I wasn't gonna squat here forever.”

“Still, I'm surprised you're working as a mechanic again.”

“This job pays 4 dollars an hour instead of 2.70 like my last job. It's pretty good.”

“You hated that job.”

“Not all of us can be the housewife of a rockstar.”

Beth rolled her eyes as she walked into the living room and sat next to Ronnie. 

Ronnie had spent the last two weeks going to job interviews. He knew half of them he was underqualified for, but he applied anyway. It didn't hurt. He had gotten another job as a mechanic and was due to start next week. Sure, he hadn't liked his previous job that much, but because of his experience, he was getting paid more. Besides, high-paying jobs nowadays were starting to require a college degree. Another advantage for the rich getting the jobs and the poor people getting the crappy leftovers. 

Since arriving back in LA, he had been staying with Beth, who seemed more than happy to let him stay until he got back on his feet. She seemed happier since the last time he had seen her. He wanted to ask why but decided it didn't matter. If she was happy, they got on better.

Being sober was Ronnie's latest struggle. Instead of spending the last four job hunting, Ronnie had spent the first two sobering up. It was miserable, and Ronnie almost wished he hadn't anyway. Too bad Beth had insisted he do it, taking care of Benjamin while he spent half the time in the bathroom, wishing he could throw up.

The nightmares hadn't gotten any better. Nguyệt appeared more often, and if anything, she seemed more real. Ronnie really enjoyed being crazy. It just made his day. 

He hadn't given up the sleeping pills. He didn't plan to. He wasn't going to handle all that shit defenseless. Maybe he'd switch to a stronger prescription. It was hard getting his hands on a refill anyway. 

Tomorrow, Ronnie was moving into his new apartment, only a 20 minute drive from his work. It was tiny, but it put them closer to schools and other people, meaning Benjamin could socialize more. 

“Are you sure you wanna move to Pasadena? It's been getting pretty... ghetto up there.”

“Well, rent's low, and we grew up borderline white trash anyway.”

Beth rolled her eyes again. 

“Besides, I looked, and the area we live in is zoned to Glendale ISD, meaning Benjamin will go to rich people funded schools.”

“Aren't you going to miss having a house?”

Ronnie shook his head. “I mean, I'll miss the privacy, but I couldn't really afford it. If I had lived there any longer, I would have had to take out a second and a third mortgage.”

“Wasn't that place pretty cheap?”

“Exactly,” Ronnie muttered. “Until I have a decent amount of money saved, I think I'll be sticking to apartments for a while.”

“How long's the lease?”

“A year.”

Beth frowned. “And you're still an hour away.”

“That's a good thing, Beth.”

She smirked. 

Ronnie cleared his throat. “What time's Charlie comin' over tomorrow?”

Charlie, Scott's brother, had offered to help him move in, but Ronnie assumed Beth had forced him to help. He had noticed they had gotten close recently, probably teaming up to complain about a certain blond. 

Ronnie was glad he had put most of his stuff in storage closer to Beth's, meaning the move would be easier. He had sold most of his furniture before he left with Scott, which he was glad he did since he would have been able to fit everything in his apartment. Plus, Ronnie couldn't really afford all of them anyway. 

“He's coming after 9,” Beth replied. 

Ronnie nodded. 

And he did come after 9. Exactly at 9:15 the next day, the doorbell rang, and it was Charlie. Ronnie grabbed his stuff and left with him, leaving Benjamin in Beth's care until everything was finished. 

Between the Uhaul trailer and both of their cars, it only took a single trip from the storage center to Ronnie's new apartment. The apartment was on the first floor, making moving everything a whole lot easier.

The apartment had three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The front door opened to the tiny living room, which had a door leading to the even smaller backyard if you even called it that. On the left of the front door were a wall and a small eating area. Behind the wall was the kitchen, which was cramped and could only fit about three people if they were all standing next to each other. There wasn't a dishwasher, meaning Ronnie would have to do it by hand. He had never lived in a place that had one anyway.

Between the breakfast nook and the living room, was a narrow hallway leading to the bedrooms and bathrooms. The first door on the left was the bathroom, which had a small tub next to the toilet. The second door, the first one on the right, was the first bedroom, soon to be Benjamin's. It was actually larger than his old bedroom, considering the old house had originally been two large bedrooms when it was first built. 

At the end of the little hallway were another two doors that were next to each other. The door on the left was the master bedroom, which had an even tinier bathroom than the one in the hallway. The door on the right was the other bedroom, which Ronnie planned to use as storage for now. He knew it was cheaper just to get a two-bedroom apartment, but having an extra room made him feel a bit wealthier, even if it was more expensive. 

“Thanks for doing this,” Ronnie said gratefully as he set the last box down in the guest bedroom. He'd unpack later.

Charlie nodded. “Hey, I got nothing better to do, and I like you so.”

The dark-haired man scoffed. “I feel honored.”

“You should, I hate most people.”

“Fair enough,” Ronnie mumbled back, leaving the guest room and sitting on the couch. 

Charlie followed him. “So... Scott invited you on tour?”

Ronnie nodded. “One night, I'm sleeping in a hostel. Two days later, I'm having champagne in a five-star hotel.”

Charlie frowned. “It sucks knowing your baby brother is more successful than you'll ever be.”

Ronnie agreed. “Don't get me wrong, Scott’s one of my closest friends, but while he was getting famous three years ago, I was being tortured.”

Charlie laughed. “My wife hates it when I make jokes like that.” He then sat up straight and spoke in a high-pitched chiding manner. “Dark humor isn't funny, Charlie. You joke about that now, but guess who’s having nightmares tonight?”

Ronnie grimaced. “Harsh.”

Charlie sighed. “But true.”

Ronnie nodded. “You can say that again.”

They left together, Ronnie going back to pick up Benjamin and Charlie dropping off the Uhaul trailer for him. He kissed Beth goodbye, promised to have dinner with her in a week, and left her giant house to his little apartment.

Why did we left the house ?” Benjamin asked, almost in perfect Vietnamese.

I got a new job, and the house was too much money.”

Benjamin frowned. “I miss the house.”

Well, here, you can have friends to play with, and there's a park nearby,” he muttered, switching to English mid-way.

Upon arriving, he parked in the allocated parking lot and walked to his apartment, Benjamin on his shoulders, giggling. The sun was starting to set, and Ronnie had no groceries, so he planned to order pizza for dinner. 

The apartment complex was just a five-story building, and it was next to a small park with a playground. There were three apartments on each floor except the last floor, where the whole had been converted into a giant apartment with an office. Elna, the landlord, lived there. 

When he got to his apartment, A black woman in her late thirties was sitting across the hallway, braiding a teenager's hair. He assumed she was her daughter as they had the same nose. The lady saw him come up, and she stopped braiding her daughter's hair.

The sight reminded him of a conversation he had once had with Lola when she explained the maintenance of her afro and how difficult coily hair was to keep. Afterward, Ronnie had a new respect for anyone with that hair type. 

“Are ya the new neighbor?”

Ronnie nodded. “I'm Ronnie McKittrick,” he said, shaking the woman's hand. 

“Abbie Kane,” Abbie greeted, smiling. She pointed to the girl standing next to her. “This is my daughter Olivia.”

Ronnie shook Olivia's hand and took Benjamin off his shoulders. “This is my son Benjamin.”

Benjamin smiled at both women. “HI!” He yelled, waving.

Both women laughed. 

“Just you two?” Abbie asked, glancing at his hands, presumably for a ring.

Ronnie nodded. “Yes, ma'am.”

“Us too,” Olivia muttered. She scratched her half-braided head. "Nice to meet you."

Ronnie nodded again. “You too.”

Abbie cut in before he could turn around to open the door. “If you ever need a sitter, Olivia's great with kids.”

“Really?”

Olivia looked down, embarrassed by her mother's forwardness. “Mom,” she groaned.

“Ignore her, she's just upset that I haven't finished her hair.”

Ronnie smirked. “Well, thank you. Now I won't have to go find one.”

He nodded one more time before opening his door and letting himself inside. The living room had a few boxes lying around, as did the breakfast nook. The room that was fully set up was Benjamin's room. 

Ronnie closed the door behind him. “Go look around, see if you can find your new room. Be careful with the boxes.”

Benjamin nodded and ran towards the hallway, turning on the lights and opening all the doors. He shouted with glee when he saw his room, reuniting with all his old toys and things. 

Ronnie followed him, watching his son run around his room, giggling. He smiled too until he glanced behind him and saw Nguyệt standing at the end of the hallway, brushing her hair. His smile melted into a frown. 

 

Friday, June 7th, 1974, Long Beach, California

 

There was a car on his driveway that Scott didn't recognize when the taxi dropped him off in front of his house. It was parked next to Beth's little car, in front of the garage, which hosted his two cars. He couldn't wait to drive his Camaro again. 

Staring at the alien car, Scott picked up his two large suitcases and walked to the front door. He was glad the tour was over. He was ready to sleep for a week and then go seek out Ronnie, who had moved to Pasadena, he had learned when they talked last. Peter would drop off the rest of his stuff the next day. 

He knocked on the front door quietly. No response. He knocked a little louder. Still no response. He thought about ringing the doorbell, but he ended up unlocking the door himself. The door creaked, revealing a silent house. 

He entered, leaving his suitcases outside, seeing if Beth was in the kitchen or the living room. She was not. Her car was in the driveway, meaning she had to be home, but where?

In the silence, Scott suddenly heard a groaning noise coming from the hallway that led to the master bedroom. He looked in the direction of the noise before hearing it again. Someone was here. He followed the sound, going down the hallway and to his bedroom. The door was slightly cracked open, and Scott looked through the crack.

What he saw stunned him. There was Beth on her back and Charlie on top of her. They were fucking. Beth was fucking his brother.

He took a step back from the door, trying to process what he had just seen. His wife, the same woman who had called him sick in the head and went to church every Sunday, was fucking Charlie. He almost laughed. If God was real, he definitely had a twisted sense of humor. Of course, out of all the people she could cheat on him with, it was Charlie William Stern. His older brother. The fucking irony. 

Instead of barging in and screaming, Scott turned around and quietly left the hallway. He opened the door carefully and closed it behind him, locking it so it'd seem like he never entered. Like he had never seen it happen. 

He sat on one of his suitcases, staring at the porch floor. He had just flown from fucking Japan, an eleven hour flight, only to find the last thing he would except. From Charlie, he wasn't surprised. But Beth? Never in a million years did he think she'd do something like that. Funny thing was, he deserved it. He had slept with Ronnie for over a year and fucked who knows how many groupies. Beth screwing Charlie was just the cherry on top. 

He waited outside for another 10 minutes before ringing the doorbell. At least he gave them time to fix themselves. The door opened, and Beth stood in front of him, no signs showing what she was doing a few minutes before. She smiled big and pulled him to kiss his cheek. Scott smiled and hugged her. He didn't mind receiving affection. 

She let go of him and stood back. “I thought your flight wasn't getting in until tonight.”

No shit, Scott thought. “I managed to catch an earlier one,” he explained, watching Charlie come up behind Beth. 

“Surprise,” he greeted, giving his brother an awkward side hug.

Scott nodded. “Did you get a large package yesterday or today?” He asked, stepping inside.

Beth nodded. “I wasn't sure what it was, so I didn't open it. It’s in the garage.”

“Well, we can set up the crib later then.”

Beth gasped. “You bought a crib?”

Scott nodded. “Where else is it gonna sleep?”

Beth smiled a warm, genuine smile. It reminded Scott of when they first started dating. 

“I am going to sleep,” Scott told them, starting to go up the stairs.

“Honey, why don't you sleep in our room?”

Scott did not want to sleep in those stained sheets. “I want you to have the whole bed. You're pregnant. Besides, the mattress in the first guestroom is soft,” he mumbled, yawning.

Beth nodded.

“Don't touch my suitcases, I don't want you to see what I got you.”

Scott wasn't sure who looked more surprised, Charlie or Beth. Sure, he was a cheater and a fag, but he wasn't a complete asshole. He still bought stuff for her.

Without another word, he climbed the stairs and into the bed, conking out as soon as his head hit the pillow. When he woke up, it was day, so he assumed he had slept through the night.

He showered, using the clothes he had kept in there after Beth had kicked him from their bedroom. When he came downstairs, he smelled sizzling bacon and buttered toast. Someone definitely felt bad. 

“Good morning,” Scott greeted, watching Beth butter a slice of toast.

She smiled. “Made breakfast.”

He nodded. “Thank you,” he replied, taking the plate next to her and sitting down at the bar.

She turned off the stove and joined him, her plate just a bowl of oatmeal.

“You sure don't want bacon?”

Beth shook her head. “Bland food's the only thing that doesn't make me throw up.”

“Good thing you're Irish then.”

Beth rolled her eyes. 

Scott scarfed down his food and then went over to one of the suitcases, which were still in the main hallway. He laid it down, unzipped it, and pulled out a large gift bag before walking back to where Beth was.

Beth pushed her bowl of oatmeal away from her. “What's this?”

“You'll see,” Scott answered, sitting back down. He peered into the bag and pulled out a pale pink silk scarf.

Beth's eyes widened. “Is that for me?”

Scott nodded. “Got in Paris. Thought you'd like it.”

Beth took the scarf gingerly. “It's beautiful,” she whispered.

Scott then pulled out a small blue box with a swan on it. Beth recognized the logo. 

“Is that Swarovski?”

Scott shrugged. “Maybe.”

She carefully opened the box and found a simple gold necklace plated with crystals. “...Scott,” she whispered after a few minutes of silence. 

She tried to hide it, but Scott could see guilt all over her face. 

“They're presents,” he affirmed, setting the bag down. 

Beth nodded, closing the box and setting it aside.

Scott swallowed. “Elizabeth, I'm sorry.”

Beth looked up.

“I'm sorry for everything. I know I fucked things up between us.” He sighed deeply. “I'm not sorry for being gay. I'm not gonna apologize for that. I will apologize for cheating with groupies... doing drugs... screwing up our relationship... I'm so sorry, baby.”

Beth stared at her husband. Tears were starting to pool up in her eyes.

“I'll do better, I promise. I'll stop the drugs and the cheating…” Except for your brother, his brain added silently. “I still love you. Platonically? Yes. Romantically? ...Yeah. Sexually?” He paused. “No, not anymore. I don't think we'll have sex again.”

Beth started crying.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed. “I'll abstain from it. It's not fair to you that I ended up like this. If you wanna sleep with other men, I understand. I deserve it.” You already are anyway.

Beth shook her head. “If you're willing to give that up for me…”

“For our child. She needs both of her parents.”

Although she was crying, Beth laughed. “She?”

“Trust me, it's a girl.”

She wiped her eyes. “What makes you so sure?”

“If it's a boy, I swear I'll sell the Camaro.”

“You love that thing.”

“Exactly, hence why it'll be a girl.”

Beth laughed again. “...Then we're in this together?”

Scott nodded, taking her hand. Us and our brothers. “I promise. Now, we have a crib to set up.”

Beth smiled, sniffing. “Yes, we do.”

Notes:

I based Ronnie's apartment kinda on the one I used to live in when I lived in California. Of course, we only lived there for two months before we moved to a house, and it was in Bakersfield, not LA, but ehh, whatever.

Ok, but unrelated, according to my Grammarly, this chapter has 69 premium corrections which I think is a sign

Chapter 70: Gravestones (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

A death in the family, and Ronnie learns why he should stop making impulsive decisions

Notes:

CW: Off-screen minor character death, panic attack

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 70: Gravestones

 

Thursday, October 10th, 1974, Pasadena, California



Many things happened between when Ronnie moved in and October 10th. There were car bombings in Dublin and Monahagan by the Ulster Volunteer Force the day after Ronnie moved in. He had called Líadan from his neighbor's phone as soon as he found out to see if she was alright. She was fine but had heard one of the bombs go off and helped people get out of the area. 

The same day, there was a two hour shootout between the LA police and the Symbionese Liberation Army. A bomb in Westminster Hall exploded in June, probably by the IRA. In July, a television presenter in Florida shot herself on air. No to mention the Senate was about to impeach Nixon. 

Even more shit happened in August. The smoking gun tape was released, Nixon resigned, and Gerald Ford became president. Elna, who had a strong hatred of Nixon, threw a party when he announced his resignation. 

When Ronnie was taking out the trash the next day, he found a stray Bullmastiff sniffing around the trash. He had checked for a collar and found none. The dog, who perked up to Ronnie's presence, trotted over and sniffed his hand before wagging his tail. 

He petted the dog, wondering what to do with it. He recalled that Elna was okay with pets unless they were birds, so he brought the dog inside for a drink of water. 

Benjamin gasped when he saw the dog and hugged him before Ronnie could tell him to stop. The dog was trained, and he didn't have any fleas or ticks when the vet checked him, so he decided to keep him. He hadn't had a dog since Manus. Benjamin promptly named him Toby. 

September started with Benjamin starting pre-k, the Ethiopian Civil War, and Ford pardoning Nixon, which pissed off Ronnie greatly. The economy's in utter shit, and the first you do as president is pardon the one who broke the fucking law? He was counting down the days to the midterm elections. 

October had started normally enough. Ronnie hoped it'd stay that way. It would not. 

Ronnie was making dinner when the phone rang. It wasn't anything special, just scrambled eggs and rice. He was waiting for his paycheck tomorrow to buy more groceries. 

Toby barked when the phone rang. Ronnie turned off the gas, walked over to where the phone was, and picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Ronnie?” Valentina's voice asked.

“Valentina? Is that you?”

“Yes.”

He smiled and sat down on the couch. “How are you? How'd you get my new number?”

“Scott call in July and give me new number.”

“I'm so sorry I didn't call myself and give it to you. I've been pretty busy. Are you alright?”

Valentina sniffed, and Ronnie realized she was crying.

“What happened?” He asked urgently.

She sniffed again and sighed. “I do not know how say-”

Ronnie could her voice choke up. “Hey, what happened?” He questioned again, this time more gently.

“Ronald... Ronald is dead.”

If he'd been standing, Ronnie would have dropped the phone as the color went out of his face. “What?”

 

Saturday, October 19th, 1974, Norfolk, Nebraska

 

The graveyard felt suffocating. It was freezing out, and everyone was wrapped in scarves and jackets,  but Ronnie could feel sweat droplets on the back of his neck. He wasn't sure if it was because he was hot from all the layers of clothes, nervous, or both. 

The church, St. Mary's, had been his family's parish as a child as there were no Catholic churches in Ridge's Creek. It still looked the same, though the last time Ronnie had been inside was 6 years ago. Technically, the last time he had gone to Mass was 6 years ago, excluding his impromptu wedding, which was held outside anyway, and they had skipped the Mass part. 

About a dozen people came to service. The remaining two who weren't family were two people Ronnie had never seen before in his life. Aunt Moira had recognized them and made a face of disgust, so Ronnie assumed they were probably in the IRA with his father. 

The service was quicker than most funerals, especially considering no one had volunteered to say anything about Ronald and let the priest perform the final rites. The last funeral Ronnie had gone to was his grandmother Leanne's, and the ones before were for his cousin Colin and Uncle Frankie, though he was too young to remember them.

He watched the father make a final sign of the cross, ending the service. Several people made a sign of the cross back. Ronnie did not. 

He watched as the casket was slowly lowered into the ground. “Goodbye, Dad,” he whispered as they started to fill the hole with dirt, covering the wooden casket until Ronnie couldn't see it anymore. 

“Ya okay?” Líadan's voice asked behind him.

Ronnie turned around and nodded. “I can't believe he's dead, honestly.”

She nodded as Benjamin wrapped his arms around Ronnie's legs. “How'd he die? Mam never told me. She was too happy celebrating.”

Ronnie bit back a laugh. “Alcohol poisoning. He literally drank himself to death.”

“Guess you'll be avoiding that for a while.”

“Already am. Six months sober.”

She smiled. “That's good.”

“Yeah…” He wasn't gonna add that he doubled up on his sleeping pills, switching to nitrazepam. 

She glanced at Beth, heavily pregnant and talking to Eileen. “She looks like she's about to pop.”

Ronnie nodded. “I'm just now starting to wrap my head around the fact she's gonna have a baby next month.”

“And you'll have a new sibling,” she muttered, staring at Valentina, who had surprised everyone with a small bump. 

“I don't really wanna think about that,” he admitted. “I'll have a half-sibling 25 years my junior.”

“And Benjamin will be an uncle at 4?”

“5, his birthday is next month,” Ronnie corrected, ruffling his son's hair.

Benjamin looked up. “I'm cold. Can we go back to Mamo's?”

Ronnie nodded, picking him up and rubbing his back. “Yeah, Toby's waiting there anyway.”

It was too expensive to fly, so Ronnie had driven here from Pasadena, a 24 tortuous hour drive excluding rest stops. He was not looking forward to driving back. They had brought Toby with them, who seemed to be the only one excited about being in a car for so long. 

“Can I ride with yeh back?” Líadan asked, shivering.

“Sure, just get your mom.”

Líadan looked over to her mom and grimaced. She and Mary were speaking to the two Irish men. From their facial expressions, it did not look like a nice conversation. “I'm not going over there.”

“Fair enough.”

When everyone did leave, they all went back home, where Mary, Eileen, and Moira had set up a lunch buffet. It was probably one of the most violently Irish buffets Ronnie had ever seen. He half expected to find crubeens, offal, and drisheen. Then again, he doubted you could buy pig's feet and blood that easily in the United States. 

“I don't know what half of this food is,” Scott muttered, staring at the various platters of food.

Ronnie snickered. “Give me your plate, I'll serve you.”

Scott handed him his plate.

Ronnie filled his plate with various dishes before handing it back to Scott, who stared. “What'd you give me?”

“Scone, Irish stew, white pudding, and champ.”

“What's white pudding and champ?”

“White puddin's kinda like drisheen, which is a type of black pudding. You know what black pudding is?”

“It's a blood sausage?”

Ronnie nodded. “White pudding is that, minus the blood. Champs is mashed potatoes with green onion, butter, and milk.”

“Huh. Thanks.”

Ronnie nodded as he loaded up his own plate. “Sure.”

He finished piling his plate and went over to the stairs, where Scott was sitting and eating. All the women were at the table, and Shannon and Benjamin were in the living room, playing with Toby. Beth had spent the majority of the trip avoiding Toby, which Ronnie found funny.

“Scoot over,” Ronnie told the blond, sitting on the step below him. 

“Scoot yourself,” Scott replied with a mouth of mashed potatoes. 

Ronnie started eating, his plate in his lap.

Since Scott had gotten back from tour, they had actually seen each other less than they normally did. Ronnie had been busy with work, and Scott was busy with Beth and preparation for a world tour the next year. And he wouldn't tell Scott, but a part of him was feeling guilty lately. Seeing Beth pregnant and them actually getting along for once had made him feel bad about the affair. It was one of the other reasons why he left the tour, other than to sober up and shit. 

When they finished, they both planned to go outside and smoke, but Valentina came over. Pregnancy had made her paler, and Ronnie noted that her hands were clammy. 

“Ronnie, can we talk?”

Ronnie looked up and nodded. “Sure.”

“Privately?”

He glanced at Scott before standing up. “We can talk in my room,” he said, stepping past Scott and going up the stairs.

Valentina followed him. He opened the door to his childhood bedroom and stepped in. There were blankets and pillows on the floor as Shannon was sleeping in there while guests were using her bedroom.

Valentina closed the door while Ronnie sat on his bed, making a loud creaking noise. It was silent.

“I can't believe my mom managed to have 10 people sleep in this house,” Ronnie muttered, breaking the ice.

Valentina nodded. 

Shannon was camping out in Ronnie's room with Benjamin, Scott and Beth were in Beth's room, Moira and Líadan were in Shannon's room, Eileen was sleeping on the pullout couch, and Mary was letting Valentina share the master bedroom with her as she was pregnant. 

“How long are you gonna stay here?”

Valentina shrugged. “Mary is letting me stay until I get back on feet, but if I do stay longer, I must get job.”

“That's really nice of her.”

“I am very grateful,” she mumbled, looking down. 

Ronnie nodded, starting to bounce his leg. “How many months are you?”

“Six.”

“Six... that means you got pregnant in... April-” Ronnie's eyes widened as he put two and two together. “Oh my god, don't tell me.”

Valentina sniffed and sat down on the desk chair. “I think... I believe you are father.”

Ronnie paled, and he hunched over. “Oh fuck, oh fu-” He started panting rapidly. “I'm such a- I'm so fucking sorry.”

Valentina stared at him in a mix of worry and shock before opening the door. “MARY, COME UP HERE!” She shouted before glancing back at Ronnie, who was starting to struggle to breathe. “BRING TRASH CAN!”

She sat next to him and took his hands. “Ronnie, you need slow breathing, you are going pass out.”

Ronnie started gagging, feeling his lunch churn in his stomach.

Mary soon arrived with Scott holding a trash can. She ran over to her son and took the trash can from Scott, who shut the door. Valentina jumped out of the way as Ronnie threw up his lunch in the bin. 

When he finished, he coughed loudly and set the bin down, taking deep breaths. He hadn't had a panic attack in years. 

Mary stroked her son's back, whispering soothing words in both English and Irish. 

When Ronnie had calmed down enough, he sighed loudly. “I'm sorry, I haven't broken down like that in a long time.”

“It's okay, honey.”

Scott, who had been quiet the whole time, spoke. “You're the father, aren't you?”

Mary's eyes widened as Ronnie nodded. “You're the fucking what?”

Ronnie hadn't heard his mother say fuck since she had kicked out his father. 

Mary stood up. “You guys had sex?”

Both Valentina and Ronnie nodded. Valentina's face was red. 

She sighed and looked at Scott. “And you let them?”

Scott looked away. “I'm gonna go downstairs. People are gonna ask questions.”

“Don't say anything,” Ronnie muttered.

Scott nodded and opened the door, closing it as he left. 

Mary sat down on the desk chair while Valentina sat down next to Ronnie. She faced the two of them with a blank expression. “I'd slap you if you didn't just have a panic attack,” she said sternly, looking at Ronnie. 

Ronnie couldn't look her in the eye. 

“Valentina, are you absolutely sure Ronnie's the father?”

The brunette nodded. “If I am six months pregnant, then Ronald could not have been father.”

Mary sighed. “Feels like Benjamin all over again,” she murmured. 

She was right. It was Benjamin all over again. This time though, marriage was out of the question. Ronnie didn't want to, nor could he afford it anyway.

“I have a horny monkey for a son,” Mary then added, burying her face into her hand.

Ronnie didn't reply. Congratulations, dumbass. You literally fucked your stepmother and got her pregnant. 

“I think we still pretend that baby is Ronald's,” Valentina said, her voice small. 

Mary looked up. “Honey, everyone's gonna put it together sooner or later, might as well reveal it now.”

“I am not getting shamed by a bunch of Irish women,” Ronnie muttered.

Mary raised a brow. 

Ronnie sighed. “And what do you suggest we do?”

“Do your parents know you're pregnant?”

Valentina nodded. “I write letter in July.”

“Maybe she could live with me?” Ronnie offered. “I have an extra room.”

“Can you afford that?” Mary replied.

Ronnie shook his head. “No,” he admitted. “Two people, I highly doubt, unless Valentina gets a job as soon as she arrives.”

Valentina rubbed her swollen tummy. “And how would you explain people about me?”

“...I don't know.”

“Valentina, I want you to live with me,” Mary then decided.

Valentina looked surprised. “Really?”

Mary nodded. “You are still carrying my grandchild, whether you were supposed to or not. I think you're a very sweet girl, and I don't want you alone in a foreign country. I know that feeling.”

Valentina nodded, her eyes becoming misty. “Thank you.”

“When the baby is old enough, you will have to get a job, okay?”

Valentina nodded. “Jā, I understand.”

Mary then turned to Ronnie. “You're gonna have to send some form of child support.”

“Okay.”

“How much do you make?”

“It's a yearly salary of 6,700 dollars, and I get paid every other week. My paychecks are about... 258, so 550 per month.”

Mary grabbed a spare piece of paper Benjamin had been drawing on the day prior. She then grabbed a pen and started to write down numbers and do the math. She was quiet, muttering numbers out loud occasionally. She finished, setting down the pen.

“65 a month. You don't need to start paying until the baby is born.”

Ronnie bit his lip. “I think I could do that. I'll just need to move around my budget.”

“You need to come visit more often too. It's only fair to both Benjamin and the baby.”

Ronnie nodded. “At least I'll be tax deducted.”

“Ronnie!”

Valentina giggled. “He is not wrong.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Okay, do both of you understand what I am saying?”

They nodded. 

“So, I don't need a lawyer to draw up a document to sign?”

They both spoke. “No.”

She then turned to Valentina. “You and I will talk more about this later on, okay?”

“Okay.”

Mary stood up and sighed. “Today has been interesting. I learn that my son got my dead ex-husband's wife pregnant right after his funeral”

Thank you, Mama,” Ronnie said gratefully, speaking in Irish.

Mary smiled sadly and nodded. She left the room, leaving the door open.

Ronnie turned to the future mother of his second child. “I'm sorry for dragging us into this mess.”

Valentina shook her head. “You are not only person at fault. I let you fuck me with no condom.”

Ronnie snorted. “Ready to face the crowd?”

“No, but we must sooner or later.”

“Don't worry, I'll get all the grilling.”

“Grilling? Like cooking?”

“Intense questioning mixed with insults.”

“Ah.”

And oh, did they grill him. Everyone seemed to take a turn yelling at him. The older women were horrified, while Líadan spent the whole trying not to laugh. Beth just stared at him, Benjamin, Valentina, and back to him over and over again like she couldn't believe he'd do something like that. Apparently, Ronnie liked fucking nonrelated members of his family.

Scott just stood in the back, giving Ronnie the biggest I told you so expression he had seen since middle school. 

It seemed to go on forever until someone remembered there was a will. Mary grabbed it from her bedroom and brought the manilla packet to the table. Everyone crowded around it as she opened the packet and pulled the sheet of paper out. She picked it up and started reading out loud. 

“The following statement is the will of I, Ronald Patrick McKittrick Senior, and my intentions for my earthly goods and final testament. I request I be buried in my hometown of Banbridge, Ireland, next to my brother, in the hopes my country has united with the motherland at last.”

That cued multiple snickers. 

“I am not bringing that bastard's body anywhere near Liam,” Moira declared, crossing her arms. 

Mary continued. “And now to my family." Mary read a couple more lines. "I think most of our names are mentioned.”

“Really?” Five people asked at once.

Mary nodded. “To my sister in laws Eileen O'Connell Nee. Kelly and Moira McKittrick Nee. Donaghue,... I leave nothing.”

Eileen and Moira looked at each other. 

“To my ex-wife–Oh, it's me. Mary McKittrick Nee. Kelly and my youngest Shannon McKittrick, I leave my final child support check to be paid on the 25th of that month. Much appreciated, asshole,” Mary added. 

Ronnie and Líadan laughed.

Shannon frowned. “I'm not getting anything?”

“To my brother's daughter, Líadan McKittrick, I also leave nothing.”

“He knew my name?” Líadan asked, looking genuinely surprised.

“I think I'm gonna leave people nothing on my will too. It's kinda funny,” Scott muttered.

Ronnie nodded. Even in death, Ronald's assholery was ever present. 

“To my eldest and only son, Ronald McKittrick Junior, I leave nothing but ill will and contempt. Oh my, he actually wrote that."

Ronnie laughed. “Me too, Dad.”

“To my second wife, Valentina Jansons-McKittrick, I leave all possessions we shared together in our apartment.”

“The bank take everything when he die,” Valentina informed the crowd. “Even the wedding rings.” She held up her bare left hand.

“And finally, to my daughter Elizabeth McKittrick, I leave all other worldly possessions, including money, property, etc.”

Everyone turned to Beth.

“Someone’s got a favorite,” Líadan mumbled.

“Mhmm,” Ronnie replied.

“I didn’t do anything,” Beth defended, holding her hands up.

Mary set the will down. “That was... interesting." She then pulled out a smaller manilla envelope and handed it to Beth. “I believe this is all the money he left you, mo grá.”

Beth nodded and opened it. She pulled out the cash and set it on the table before counting it. “It’s 110 dollars.”

“That’s it?!” Shannon, Ronnie, Scott, and Líadan shouted at the same time.

“He had gambling and loan debt. I think it was 2,000 dollars before,” Valentina said, staring at the mix of tens and twenties on the table.

Mary sighed. “Well, I speak this to everyone younger than 30. Take this as a warning. Don’t end up like him.”

Ronnie felt all eyes on him. “Why is everyone staring at me?”

Notes:

Moral of the story: Don't fuck your stepmom

Also, the will reading scene I think is the peak of comedy

 

For Context

All the stuff I mentioned in the beginning did happen

Crubeens: boiled pig's feet

Offal: organ meats

6,700 today is about 34k (Yeah, he doesn't make a lot)

110 is 550-590 in today's money

Chapter 71: Seasons Greetings (Vol II, Part I)

Summary:

Scott contemplates his life and fatherhood

Notes:

last part of vol 2 part 1!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 71: Seasons Greetings

 

Saturday, November 16th, 1974, Long Beach, California

 

“Mr. Stern?” A young woman's voice asked.

Scott opened his eyes and saw a nurse standing in the doorway. He sat up. “Yes?”

“Your wife gave birth at 3:46 this morning.”

He stood up and glanced at the clock. 4:02. “What is it?”

The nurse smiled. “A healthy baby girl.”

Scott grinned from ear to ear. “Holy shit, I'm a father.”

He followed the nurse down the maternity ward until they arrived at a small private room. She opened the door revealing a small blonde woman in a hospital bed, holding a bundle of pink blankets. 

Beth looked up and smiled. She was covered in a sheen of sweat, there were dried tears on her face, and her hair was damp. “Guess you're not selling your Camaro after all.”

Scott beamed and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him. He pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down. “Rosemary?”

Beth laughed weakly and nodded, sitting up. “Rosemary Eve Stern.”

“We can call her Rosie.”

“I like that.”

Scott leaned forward to see his daughter's face. Surrounded by blankets was a small, pink, wrinkly face. Her eyes were closed, and she was bald. Scott thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“She looks like you,” he mused, gently rubbing Rosie's cheek with his thumb.

“Pink and wrinkly?”

Scott blew air from his nose. “She's beautiful.”

Beth nodded. “I did pretty good, didn't I?”

“You did amazing.”

“Do you wanna hold her?”

Scott nodded. He took Rosie from Beth's arms and leaned back into his chair. “She's so light. My guitars are heavier.”

Beth nodded again. “I know. I don't remember Shannon being that light, but I was also 9.”

He looked back down at Rosie and saw her eyes were open. Her storm grey eyes. “Hey, she has my eyes.”

“So she does,” Beth whispered, closing her eyes. “Do you mind if I sleep for a bit? Wake me up when she's hungry.”

Scott nodded, pulling Rosie’s hand out and watching her wrap her hand around his ring finger. “Good right ahead.”

 

Saturday, December 21st, 1974, Long Beach California

 

Scott had probably gotten a total of twelve hours of sleep in the last month. Rosie woke up every two hours to be fed, and neither Scott nor Beth could sleep through her cries. Ronnie had told him he'd get used to it, but he still wasn't. He practically lived off of coffee. 

Ronnie had also told them that she wouldn't start sleeping through the night until she was at least three months old. Scott wasn't sure if he could handle two more months of no sleep. Hopefully, she'd start sleeping through the night before Scott left for his world tour. 

The tour, titled III, started at the end of March and ended in Mid-July. Beth had gotten upset that he was touring again, but she stopped complaining after a bit. Maybe she had realized that their marriage works better long-distance or that she could see Charlie.

Scott wasn't sure how'd be able to handle no drugs and groupies. It wasn't his fault that they literally flung themselves onto him, both men and women. Okay, maybe it was a little bit of his fault. It wasn't like he said no before. But now he had to. He made a promise to fill the crumbling cracks in his and Beth's relationship. 

It was over, honestly, their marriage. He saw the looks Beth would give him when she thought he wasn't looking. He never bothered to go back to the master bedroom to sleep. He still slept in the guest room, closer to Rosie, meaning he'd be up to get her first. 

The only reason Beth hadn't left him was Rosie. She wanted her child to have a mother and a father together in one house. Scott also thought that she was trying to hold onto the last threads as tight as she could. Beth wouldn't divorce. She only justified divorce in cases of abuse, like her mother's. And even then, according to Ronnie, many of the women at church wouldn't even speak to Mary after Ronald left. Divorce had been so scandalous back then, but now... Scott knew three divorcees and two in the process of it. 

He wondered how long it'd last. He and Beth were too tired to argue, but when Rosie got older, would their dynamic change? Marriage before had seemed a good way to hide the fact he was gay, but now, being trapped in an unhappy marriage seemed like the worst thing in the world. 

If Beth wasn't so against divorce, she probably would have filed for it a while ago. Even then, a divorce would be so messy. They hadn't signed a prenup, meaning a custody war would ensue. Not to mention it'd make papers. Beth, who hated the spotlight so much that she even refused to appear as his date for public events, would go nuts about a public divorce.

Peter seemed to clue in that Scott and Beth weren't gonna last much longer, so he sent the business cards of multiple divorce lawyers to Scott. He had told his manager he didn't want them, but he had ended up calling all of them, seeing how he and Beth could have a quiet, easy divorce. Maybe even an annulment. But they'd have to go through the church to do that, and Scott really didn't want to. It would be a bit less expensive, but he didn't know anything about how the church dissolved marriages. 

Scott leaned back into the chair he was sitting on, listening to Christmas music play on the radio quietly and staring at the huge Christmas tree. He couldn't believe it was already Christmas. The prior Christmas, he had spent lamenting over the fact he was a homosexual. The Christmas before that, he had proposed to Beth. This Christmas, he was thinking about his marriage. His failing marriage.

RING. RING. RING.

Scott looked up and saw the telephone was going off. He stood up from the recliner and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, man,” Ronnie's voice said from the other line.

Scott smiled. “What are you doing up so late?” He asked, glancing at his wristwatch. 11:17.

“Last minute packing. Assumed you were up.”

Scott nodded. He knew Ronnie was spending this Christmas with Bian, his former sister-in-law, and Isaac, her husband. He was confused when he told him since he knew Isaac was Jewish, but Ronnie explained that he celebrated both holidays. 

“You leave tomorrow?”

“Yep. According to the maps, it's a five and a half-hour drive to Phoenix.”

“Thought he lived in Henderson.”

“Isaac was discharged and changed jobs.”

“I see. Are you bringing Toby?”

“Uh yeah, they have a dog too, so Toby will have someone to hang with.”

“That'll be fun.”

“Yeah.”

Scott sat down on the couch. “Is everything okay?”

Ronnie sighed. “Dunno... just been real tired lately. I just got another job, I barely have time off.”

Scott frowned. “Another job?”

“A film projectionist on Sundays and Thursdays. My hours at the shop got lowered, and I need money.”

Scott sighed. He knew Ronnie hated it when he offered to give him money, so he decided to not say anything. “Are you still doing the pills?”

Ronnie was silent for a minute. “I switched to nitrazepam.”

Scott frowned. “Dude…”

“I can't sleep without anything. It's that, or I go crazy.”

Scott sighed again, not sure what to say.

“But enough about me. How's Rosie?”

“Loud.”

Ronnie snickered. 

“She has a fucking set of lungs. If she weren't so cute, I think I'd shove my head through a window,” He complained, laughing toward the end. 

“You're lucky. I was in the jungle with no A/C when Benjamin was that age.”

Scott grimaced. “Yeesh.”

“Is Mom coming up for Christmas?”

Scott shook his head. “Nah, it'll just be the three of us. Valentina's too pregnant to fly. Technically, that's your fault.”

“Fuck off.”

Scott smiled before it melted into a serious expression. “What are we gonna do now?”

Ronnie exhaled loudly. “I think we should tone it down a bit cause of Rosie. Just let things roll.”

Scott lowered his voice. “You’ve been feeling guilty lately, haven't you? I’ve noticed.”

Ronnie sighed again. “I have," he admitted. "But at the same time, I don't want to stop seeing you.”

“So we've just seen each other less.”

“You have to feel guilty too.”

Scott shrugged. “Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't.”

He had felt guilty arriving home and when Rosie was born, but less so when he saw Beth and Charlie or when he was with Ronnie. 

There was a loud crying noise, and Scott sighed. “I gotta go. I think Beth's in a deep sleep, and Rosie’s cryin'.”

“Merry Christmas, Scott.”

Scott nodded, standing up. “Merry Christmas, Ronnie.”

He set the phone down and walked up the stairs as the crying louder. He opened the door to Rosie's nurse, next door to his room. Rosie lay in her crib, swaddled, crying her ass off. 

Scott started making shushing noises as he grabbed a bottle of breast milk he had saved for when she woke up. He picked her up gently and rocked her, giving her the bottle with his right hand, cradling her in his left.

Rosie calmed down as soon as the bottle was in her mouth. She opened her big grey eyes and stared at her father as she took the bottle.

Scott smiled, though he felt like he was gonna pass out from exhaustion. He walked over to the rocking chair and sat down, leaning and rocking gently. 

“You like that?” He asked gently.

Rosie obviously didn't reply. 

He smiled again and stared out the window. It had gotten colder during the winter, but it obviously didn't snow in Long Beach. It didn't snow in Texas either. When he was younger, he'd stare out his window and pretend it was snowing, the grass covered in white as snow fell from the sky. The closest the ranch had ever gotten to snow was hail. 

“Chestnuts roasting over an open fire,” he quietly began to sing.

Rosie looked up.

“Jack Frost nipping at your nose

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.”

He adjusted Rosie's bottle before continuing.

“Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe

Help to make the season bright

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow

Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way

He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.”

Rosie finished her bottle, so Scott took it out of her mouth and set it down.

“And every mother's child is gonna spy

To see if reindeers really know how to fly.”

Rosie closed her eyes.

“And so I'm offering this simple phrase

To kids from one to ninety-two

Although it's been said many times, many ways

Merry Christmas to you.”

He looked down and saw she was asleep again. 

“And so I'm offering this simple phrase

To kids from one to ninety-two

Although it's been said many times, many ways

Merry Christmas to you,” he finished, continuing to rock his daughter. 

 

 

End of Part I

Notes:

Hey, I wanted to let y’all know that this will be taking a temporary posting hiatus as I am moving back to the United States after three years abroad. (Moving summer before senior year :/) I will likely not have data for a while and wifi at select places. I will not be able to bring my laptop with me, and as I do all my writing, editing, and posting on here... it may be some time before I post again, but I'll work on getting a new laptop as soon as I'm able. (Plus I need one too.) Hopefully, it won't be very long, and I can start posting this again. Because of the new timezone, posting will be a bit later, but I doubt that matters.

Thank you all for reading, and I hope to see you soon!

 

For Context:

Nitrazepam: a kind of sleeping pill in the benzodiazepine class

to quote my beta reader: rosemary is literally the whitest name ever

Chapter 72: She Needs to Know (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie finally caves from guilt and makes a decision that alters almost all aspects of his life

Notes:

CW: Homophobia, homophobic slur, discussion of suicide attempt, death, rape, torture… overall pretty distressing, heads up

 

Also, thank you so much for 2.5k hits!!!!

Chapter Text

Part II: Boys, Girls, Men, Women

January 11th, 1975 - December 6th, 1975

 

 

Chapter 72: She Needs to Know

Saturday, January 11th, 1975, Long Beach, California



Ronnie sat at Scott and Beth's bar, staring at the beer Scott was drinking. The longer he was sober, the more he wanted a drink. He had gone to a New Year's party with Isaac and Bian and became borderline suicidal watching everyone drink and get drunk. 

“How was Isaac and Bian's?” Scott asked, almost like he was reading his thoughts.

Ronnie nodded. “It was nice. Hot as fuck for a December. Bian's pregnant again. Baby's due in July.”

“Everyone seems to be getting pregnant and having babies,” Scott remarked, taking another sip of his beer.

“It seems so.”

Beth was in Rosie's room breastfeeding while Benjamin was upstairs playing under the pool table, meaning Ronnie and Scott were alone. 

“The upcoming tour's the longest one I've ever done,” Scott mused, changing subjects. “It's a total of 64 shows. I'll be surprised if I still have a voice when it's over.”

“I have work,” Ronnie muttered.

Scott set his beer down, partially offended. “Christ, that was quick. Even if you could go, I would have asked at least two months ago. What's your deal?”

Ronnie swallowed and hopped off the counter. He had been thinking about this often lately. “...We should stop.”

“Stop what?”

Ronnie gave him a look. “You know very damn well what I'm fuckin’ talking about.”

Scott laughed without humor. “I recall that you said less than a month ago that you didn't want to stop.”

“I've been thinking lately. It's fucked up your relationship with Beth. I know she and I don't always get on, but she's still my sister.”

The happy-go-lucky expression on Scott's face melted into a stony one. “And you think you're the innocent one?”

Ronnie shook his head. “No, I do-” He sighed. “How long would this have gone on before she found out? A week? A month? A year?”

“What, are you gonna tell her?”

Ronnie nodded. 

Scott's eyes widened, and he moved closer to Ronnie. “Don't tell me you really want to do this. You feel guilty, okay? I get it. You don't think I do too? This has fucked up my life and my marriage, but I don't wanna end it,” he said pleadingly, touching his lover’s hand.

Ronnie looked away, pulling his hand to his chest. “But that's the thing. It's fucked your life and your marriage. I enjoyed it, I won't lie, but Beth's not stupid. She'll put two and two together. And if she doesn't find out, someone we know will. And I bet that'll be worse.”

Scott was silent.

“I'm tired of sneaking around,” Ronnie whispered. 

Scott nodded. “That's it then?”

Ronnie nodded as well. He thought the guilt would wash away like that, but another feeling was starting to arise: Regret.

Oh, don't you fucking dare, he told himself, closing his eyes. 

“What's it?” Beth asked, coming out of the hallway.

Both men looked at her.

Ronnie could feel a rock in his stomach. 

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think you should sit down.”

Beth raised her brows. “Why? What's wrong?”

“We have something we need to talk about.”

Beth turned the recliner around and sat down, facing the two of them. “What?”

Ronnie leaned against the bar. His stomach felt like a rockslide. “I know Scott's gay. I've known longer than you have. In fact, I was the first person he told.”

Beth stared at her brother. “What?” She turned to Scott. “I thought you said-”

Scott interrupted her. “I lied.”

“We both lied. What I'm about to say will change your perspective of me. You'll probably hate me.” He paused and laughed. “No, you will hate me.”

Beth shook her head. “You drive me nuts sometimes, but I could never really hate you.”

“You will after this,” Scott mumbled under his breath.

Ronnie took a deep breath. “When Scott and I first met 3 years ago, we clicked like that.” He snapped his fingers. “I usually don't take to people that fast. We bonded and became fast friends. I sensed a tension between us, and Scott did too, but I just thought it was our egos butting heads. It... wasn't until after you guys got married I realized it was a sexual one.”

Beth stared at her brother like she couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Excuse me?”

“...One thing led to another and…” Ronnie stopped, staring at the floor.

“We've been sleeping together for almost two years now,” Scott uttered, finishing the statement. “Ronnie– we decided to end it and tell you because you deserve the truth.”

Beth didn't say anything. Her face was enigmatic, and she just stared at her chair's arm. “My husband and brother are faggots,” she finally stated, looking at both with concealed rage.

Ronnie took a step forward. “I'm not gay.”

Beth stood up. “Oh, are you sure about that? Then please enlighten me, what do you call a man who likes getting fucked by other men?”

Ronnie didn't say anything.

Beth was yelling now. “I invite you to come to live here, I let you stay at MY home, I watch your son, and this is how you thank me?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You disgust me!”

Scott scoffed. “Oh, you're not so innocent yourself.”

Ronnie side-eyed Scott. “What do you mean?”

“She's not the only brother-in-law fucker here.”

Ronnie's eyes widened. That was not something he thought he'd hear. “I'd never expect-”

Beth cut him off. “Did he tell you?” She sounded more accusatory than angry.

Scott laughed. “No, no, no. I came home from the tour a few hours early. I'm not expecting a lot. Adulterous homosexuals usually don't get a warm welcome from their wives. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knock again, a bit louder. Nada. So, I opened the door myself.

The house is quiet, which is weird because I saw your car in the driveway and some other car I didn't recognize. Then I hear a little groaning noise coming from the master bedroom. I walk over and uh peek my head in through the crack in the door, and you'll never guess who was getting fucked by my dear older brother,” Scott remarked condescendingly, glaring at Beth.

“I thought about barging in and yelling, but that'd make me a hypocrite. So I left the house quietly, locked the door like I was never inside, and waited 10 minutes before knocking again. It was funny the next day how guilty you looked when I gave you those expensive presents and bought a 300 dollar crib.” 

Scott licked his lips. “Charlie's always been jealous of me. Makes sense that'd he do that. First, he'll get close to you, get you to open up, and then when you're most vulnerable... he'll have you moaning his name like he's Jesus.” He laughed again. “You know what, you're fucking my brother, so I'm fucking yours,” he barked out. “That makes us even, doesn’t it?”

Beth had a mix of shock, anger, and fear on her face.

Ronnie smiled. “Guess you're going straight to hell with us too. Being a whore must run in the family.”

Beth reacted immediately and slapped Ronnie across his face. It was hard and sudden, so Ronnie didn't have time to embrace it. He fell back into the bar, his side hitting the marble.

“Don't ever say to me again,” she commanded firmly.

Ronnie stepped closer to her. He felt a balloon about to burst, and Beth had just pressed his last button. “Why? I've already done the worst thing I can do to my siblings. Fuck their spouse. I've felt so guilty about it, but here you are, just as much a whore as I am. I thought you were supposed to be the good little Catholic girl who went to church every Sunday?”

“What is wrong with you? Ever since you got back from Vietnam, you're-you're not the same person, and sometimes I don't know if the person in front of me is even my brother. I miss my older, annoying but equally endearing brother. Where is he, Ronnie? Huh?”

“Elizabeth, please,” Scott butted in.

Beth whipped her head. “My name is fucking Beth.”

Ronnie laughed humorlessly. “I would say I'm a different person than I used to be. I was fucking tortured, Beth. It kinda changes a person, believe it or not,” he started, extremely sarcastic. “The commanding officer at the prison camp was a pure fucking sadist. Do you know what he did? Do ya wanna know? He's the reason why my eye is fucked up. Punched me while handcuffed to a chair. Once, um, they took a fucking local, and he just slit his throat and made me watch him bleed to death so I would give answers.”

He then pulled up his shirt, revealing the thin white scar on his lower stomach. “He did that first, and when I was still being a stubborn smartass, they killed him. I killed a man, two if you wanna include him. I shot a man. I killed a man. I fucking killed someone. Yes, it's fucking changed me!”

He took another step towards Beth, who took a step back. “You wanna hear about how the sadist fucker got his men to rape my wife and kill her as I watched? I watched them violate and murder her, and I could do fucking nothing." He looked past Beth and saw Nguyệt standing near the backdoor. She was wearing the same clothes she wore when she died. 

“Or maybe you hear about when I punched the man because I was so angry and tired. I got thrown in solitary confinement. A tiny, dark room with nothing but the smell of sweat and piss to keep you company because, by that point, you're too malnourished to even take a shit.

I tried to kill myself because I was so lonely and desperate to leave this fucking planet. Now I have a fucking ugly jagged scar on my thigh. You wanna know what was the first thought I had when I woke in a pool of my own blood? I should have slit my wrists. 

You have no fucking idea what that's like. Ya wanna know how they tortured me? You seem really curious, Beth.”

“Ronnie,” Scott warned.

Ronnie grabbed Beth by her forearms and gripped her tightly. She tried loosening his grip, but he easily overpowered her. 

“They waterboarded me. They restrain you, kinda like this,” he demonstrated, starting to shake his sister. “That's why I'm a-fucking-fraid of water. It's why I can't teach my son to swim or take him to the beach. I'm scared I'll drown.”

“Ronnie!” Scott repeated, yelling now.

He let go of Beth, who was now crying. 

“Yes, I did something unforgivable, but don't you dare think what you're going through is anything close to the shit I've been through, you ungrateful spoiled bitch. The me you once knew left the day I arrived in that accursed jungle.”

“RONNIE!” Scott screamed, pulling him away from Beth.

Ronnie looked at Scott, who looked horrified. His eyes were wide in a mixture of shock, pity, and horror. Ronnie glanced back at Beth, shaking and crying, staring at Ronnie in a mix of fear and hysteria. 

The emotions on their faces seemed to shake Ronnie out of his trance. He backed up from both of them, his hands shaking. “I'm-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me,” he stuttered out, almost in a whisper. 

Beth took a deep breath and wiped her face. When her breathing became less erratic, and she seemed calmer, Beth spoke. “Please get out of my house.”

Ronnie sighed, staring at his sister. “Your house? This is Scott's house. Everything here is Scott's. Your car, your clothes, shit, even the shampoo you use to wash your hair. Who fucking pays for it?”

“Ronnie, get out.” Her tone was harsher now. 

He glared at her.

“Do you like ruining everything for people? Is that why people in your life never stick around for more than a few years? You've... you've messed up everything all with a stupid conversation.”

“Should I congratulate myself?” Ronnie retorted.

“I don't wanna see you for a very, very long time.”

“You don't mean that,” Ronnie countered.

Beth gave him a false smile. “Yes, I do.”

Scott stepped toward Beth. “Elizabeth–Beth, think about what you're doing.”

Beth turned to her husband, her voice thin and icy. “Scott, if you open your mouth to defend him one more time, you won’t like what’s going to happen.”

Ronnie stood in disbelief. He knew shit was gonna go downhill, but Beth was practically disowning him. The feeling of regret was becoming more and more than just a voice in the back of his head. He swallowed. “Well, in that case, you should say goodbye to your godson because you're not gonna see him for a very, very long time .”

He looked up at the stairs and yelled his son's name. Benjamin came thundering down the stairs, holding his little Tonka truck and a stuffed tabby cat he called Duck, though Ronnie wasn't sure how that name came up.

“Why is everyone yelling?”

He crouched down to his son's level. “We're leaving, so say goodbye since we're not gonna see them for a while.”

Benjamin cocked his head. “How come?”

“Well, your aunt, uncle, and I have been real mean to each other lately, and it's hurt people, not just us.”

“Oh.” He walked over to Scott and hugged his leg tightly.

Scott ruffled his hair and bit his lip. Ronnie could see he was trying not to cry. 

Benjamin then hugged Beth, who wrapped her arms around him. If she really hated Ronnie that much, she had to know that both Benjamin and Rosie would be involved. Benjamin let go of her and ran to the front door.

“Bye-bye!” he yelled as Ronnie followed him.

He picked him up and opened the door. Stepping outside the door, he glanced back and saw Beth and Scott at the end of the hallway. Beth had her arms crossed, staring coldly while Scott gave him a wistful gaze.

He turned back around promptly and left the house, slamming the door behind him. He had a feeling he wouldn't see that house ever again. He buckled Benjamin and drove off into the inner city.

Tears began to slide off Ronnie's face silently. What had seemed like a good idea full of good intentions had turned into the greatest mistake of Ronnie's life. He had fucked up everything. He was probably never gonna see Scott again. And that thought broke him. 

When he got stuck in traffic, he wiped his face and opened his glove apartment. Inside was a small bottle of vodka he had put there in case he ever ran out. He had almost forgotten about it. He untwisted the cap, tossed it, and brought the glass bottle to his lips, chugging the fiery liquid down his throat as his son sat in the back, watching.

 

Chapter 73: The End of a Fairytale (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Scott drowns in his own misery, Ronnie questions himself while welcoming another child

Notes:

CW: Drug usage, discussion of childbirth (nothing actually graphic)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 73: The End of a Fairytale 

 

Friday, January 24th, 1975, West Hollywood, California



Beth filed for divorce that Monday after, as soon as the office opened. Scott followed suit, filing later that day. He was living in a hotel now after Beth had told him she didn't want him to be in the same house. He was allowed to come over and see Rosie and grab his shit but only for a few hours. 

He was staying at the Continental Hyatt, the same hotel he and Ronnie had fooled around at, waiting for the limo, waiting to begin his first world tour. Ronnie... he had ended it. He had told Beth, which only resulted in Beth telling him to get the fuck out. He didn't know it'd end like this. Now the only person he felt closest to was out of his life. The only person that had made getting called insults and slurs by your wife okay. Ronnie was gone, and Scott didn't know what to do. 

The past couple of weeks had been a blur. He had met with his lawyers four times, Peter six times, and his mother had phoned nearly every day. Claire kept asking if there was any way for him and Beth to fix it, but Scott told her the same thing every time. It was over, and there was literally nothing he or Beth could do about it. 

Scott knew the reason she was so determined for them to reconcile was no one had ever divorced in her family. Scott had told her it wasn't the 1920s anymore, and divorce was not taboo, but Clarie still wailed. It had made Scott a bit jealous, but that was more deep-rooted from his lack of interaction with her in his childhood.

Scott wasn't really sure why, considering he and his mother weren't close to begin with. They had always had a difficult relationship. He had been raised by Maria, not his own mother. He knew it was normal among wealthy families, but he didn't feel that close to his mother as a result. 

She and Scott barely knew each other, as much as he had tried to get to know her. She kept up appearances whenever other people were around, but when it was just them, they argued almost all the time. She was a very different person behind closed doors. Scott knew deep down she was probably ashamed of him, though she'd never say it outright. She had wanted a doctor or a lawyer for her younger son. Not a musician with drug and sexuality issues. 

Scott assumed that she had wanted daughters but instead had gotten two sons. It made sense, though he doubted she would ever admit it to him or his brother. It was still clearly obvious. She had been far more easygoing and hands-on with Beth and Lenora. Still, she and Charlie got on better than they did. No, Charlie was her golden boy.

Charlie had also called, much to Scott's total and utter joy. Apparently, Beth had called Lenora and told her about the affair. Now Charlie was also sleeping somewhere else, and Lenora was also thinking about divorce. Charlie had called to yell and blame Scott, though Scott wasn't sure how it was his fault. But just like that, Scott had another falling out with someone else he was close to.

He laid on the bed, surrounded by empty martini glasses. He wasn't sure how many he had consumed in the last day alone. There was a line of white powder sitting on the glass coffee table, waiting to be snorted. So much for being drug-free. 

The phone rang loudly, waking Scott from his alcoholic daze. He sat up and blinked a few times before clutching his pounding head and stumbling over to the phone. 

“Scott,” Beth's voice greeted coldly.

Scott groaned and closed his eyes. “How the hell did you get my hotel room?”

“I called Peter, and he gave it to me.”

He sat down on the chair next to the nightstand, slouching into it. “Is this about my stuff? I told you, I'll move all my shit when I get back from the tour and find a new place.”

Beth sighed. “That's not why I'm calling.”

Scott massaged his left temple. “Why then?”

“We meet with our lawyers together in 10 days.”

“You don't have to remind me,” he muttered.

“I've also asked Father James to come and speak if an annulment is an option.”

Scott opened his eyes. “From your parish? Why do you want an annulment?”

“Yes, from my parish, and I’d rather have an annulment than a divorce,” Beth explained, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Don't you like need a reason for that? I doubt you can use infidelity and irreconcilable differences.”

Beth sighed harshly and loudly. “Your speech is slurred... are you drunk, Scott?”

“What do you think, sweetheart?” Scott answered, standing up and going to where his wallet was, next to the cocaine.

“Look Scott, if we can't go through an annulment, I need the divorce to be as quiet and quick as possible. That means both of us are going to have to work together to come to an understanding. I want this to be mostly done before you leave for tour, okay?”

Scott pulled out his checkbook and grabbed a pen. “I feel the same.” He uncapped the pen and started writing on the rectangular piece of paper.

“What are you doing? I hear writing noises.”

“Writing a check,” he grumbled. He set the pen down and ripped the check out from the booklet. “To Elizabeth Stern, the sum of 20,000 dollars.”

Beth was silent for a second, probably stunned. “...20,000 dollars?” Her voice was an octave higher than normal.

“I highly doubt you have the means to afford a decent fucking lawyer, so here's the money to pay for it. That is my last gift to you, Beth. Enjoy it. All the money you'll get from me from now will probably be child support," he told her, walking back to where the phone originally was. “Tell Rosie I love her,” he added quietly.

He hung up before he could hear her response. 

Scott sighed and rubbed his eye. There he was, sitting in a hotel room decorated with empty martini and whiskey glasses with coke on the table. Quite decorative. It was a good insight into what his life looked and felt like, a fucking wreck. 

He picked up his acoustic guitar on the floor and began strumming it, playing random chords, staring at the 20,000 dollar check next to the white powder drug. 

 

Norfolk, Nebraska

 

Ronnie had arrived home on the 17th, two days before Valentina's due date. Two hours later, he found himself rushing to the Norfolk hospital with everyone in tow after her water broke. Then, the next 78 hours were spent pacing, worrying, eating, and trying to sleep. Ronnie ended up going home twice to drop off Benjamin and Shannon, check on Toby, who was clearly not accustomed to the snow, and then driving back to the hospital so he and Mary could switch and get some sleep.

Both Shannon and Benjamin grew cranky waiting around for Valentina. He and Mary took turns with her, switching every few hours to babysit Benjamin and Shannon. He felt bad for her. Nguyệt had only been in labor with Benjamin for four hours, not over three days. Finally, on the 20th of January, 42 minutes before midnight, Valentina gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and just like that, Benjamin had a brother, and Ronnie had another son.

It was a handsome baby, and there was no argument that he wasn't Ronnie's. He had Ronnie's and Mary's dark blue eyes. He was paler than Valentina, which Ronnie found impressive, and he had a tuff of his father's black hair. Other than that, he looked more like his mother, and according to Valentina, her father. He was almost twice the size Benjamin had been when he was born.

The baby had to be named before Valentina was discharged, but she, Ronnie, and Mary got into a small argument about it. Mary wanted at least the middle name to be Irish, Valentina wanted a Latvian name, and Ronnie was stuck playing mediator, as well as convincing Valentina to not give their son an outrageously Latvian name since some of them sounded Russian, and Ronnie doubted it would be a good idea to name the boy Vladimirs in the American Midwest.  

“I want name him Augusts Aleksejs,” Valentina stated, leaning back into her hospital bed. She had heavy eyebags.

“Why do all the Latvian names you've suggested end with an s?” Shannon asked, clearly dying of boredom. “Is that a thing?”

Valentina rolled her eyes. “They do not all end in s.”

“The last dozen names you listed have all ended in an s. Plus, isn't your father's name Vilis?” Ronnie countered, taking a sip of coffee from a styrofoam cup. 

Valentina didn't reply.

"I still think Fionn would be the best name," Mary muttered, cradling her sleeping grandsons in each arm.

Neither Ronnie nor Valentina replied. 

“Valentina, Aleksejs I'm assuming is the Latvian variant of Aleksey or something, right?”

She nodded. 

“And Aleksey is a Russian name. I have nothing against the Russian language, but if you are even linked to anything that can be considered commie, it will not be pretty for any of us. I know this isn't the Red Scare anymore, but you guys live in mostly rural Nebraska.”

Valentina swallowed. “That bad?”

Ronnie nodded. “I lost some friends in high school because I swing more to the left. It's that fucking conservative.”

“Watch your mouth, Ronald,” Mary warned.

Ronnie gave her a look.

“You are right, but that does not mean you should swear.”

“Well, maybe instead of Augusts, we name him August, minus the s,” Shannon suggested.

“But he was born in January,” Ronnie muttered.

Un man vienalga,” Valentina replied snarkily. 

Ronnie interpreted what she said as, “Shut up, you don't get an opinion.”

Mary glared at both of them. “Ahem.”

They turned to her. 

“Fionn will be lovely middle name,” Valentina offered. 

Mary smiled, finally getting to have a say in the naming of one of her grandchildren. 

“So the baby's name's August?” Shannon asked.

Ronnie nodded. “Guess so.”

They took August home from the hospital on the 23rd, and Ronnie was suddenly reminded of what it was like having a newborn, and how great sleep really was, even though they were nightmare plagued. Mary somehow slept through the first night. She must have taken something.

“Are ya smoking?” A shrill voice demanded.

Ronnie jumped and threw his cigarette into the snow before turning around. “No.”

Mary had her hands on her hips. “You have not one but two sons to attend to.”

“Benjamin's in bed sleeping, and Valentina has August,” he replied, shivering.

“Go,” Mary said sternly.

Ronnie listened and went back inside. Toby was sleeping on the living room rug underneath the coffee table. Ronnie had been surprised that he could even fit under there. He took off his jacket and boots before heading up the stairs. It was quiet, so he assumed August was sleeping or eating.

He knocked on Beth's bedroom door, which was now Valentina's. It was weird, especially considering Beth was refusing to speak to him. He had told Mary that he and Beth had gotten into a pretty bad argument but didn't say anything else. He didn't know what to say. 

“Ronnie?” Valentina's muffled voice asked.

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah.”

“Come in.”

Ronnie opened the door, entered, and closed it behind him. Valentina was sitting on the bed, breastfeeding August.

The room barely looked like how it did when Beth was a child. The sheets were a green color, which matched nicely with the pink wall, and there were various decorations and other things Beth would have never dreamed of putting in her room.

“You're not wearing a shirt,” he observed.

“You have seen these before,” she curtly replied.

“They weren't that big,” he muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Valentina gave him a look. “You have been very far away whole visit. Are you alright?”

Ronnie sighed and rubbed his hand on the blanket. “No.”

Valentina switched August to her right breast and patted the empty spot next to her. “Sit.”

Ronnie sat down next to her, his legs stretching out on the bed. “Yes?”

“What is it?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Shit's gone down, and I haven’t the slightest clue what to do.”

She frowned and rubbed her son's head. “What is it?” She repeated.

He looked down. “I'll probably go insane if I don't say it, but I know I should talk to someone. Technically, we really don't know each other very well... but you are the mother of my son.”

Valentina gave him a tired smile. “I am pretty good keeping secrets,” she informed him.

Ronnie blew air through his nose. “Is that so?”

“There is lot you do not know about me, Ronnie.”

Ronnie swallowed. “Well... Beth and I had a falling out.”

She nodded. “I heard you and Mary speaking. I did not know it was that bad.”

“I didn't tell Mom everything.”

“What happened?”

“Beth basically disowned me.”

She looked surprised. “Why?”

He looked away and sighed. “How do you feel about homosexuality?” He asked quietly.

Valentina gently rubbed his shoulder and arm. “You had sexual affair with Scott, yes?”

He nodded, swallowing the urge to choke up and cry. “That fuckin’ obvious?”

“Why else would he take you on tour and watch us have sex? When he was looking at you, it was clear that he had seen you naked before.”

Ronnie leaned into the headboard. “And yet, you don't find me disgusting?”

“Before I meet your father, I live in shitty apartment I share with Dutch immigrant and his boyfriend. They were very kind and nice. Ronnie, I do not mind, okay?”

Ronnie nodded, biting his lip and closing his eyes.

“It is okay,” she soothed.

He nodded again, opening his eyes. “Scott and I decided to end it and tell her. Then everything went to dogshit. They're divorcing now, and it's my fucking fault.”

“Ronnie.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you like men?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I don't know,” he admitted. Scott had been with other men and was sure of his orientation, but Ronnie wasn't sure. He liked screwing women. He wasn’t sure about men. 

“You are lucky living in more progressive country. You have opportunity explore sex, regardless of gender.”

“That's if I don't get caught.”

“Still, might as well find out if you are or not.”

Ronnie nodded. “Thanks,” he muttered sincerely. “I mean it.”

Valentina smiled. “Wanna hold him?”

“Yeah.”

August, who was now asleep, stirred a bit when Ronnie took him from his mother's chest but didn't wake up. He was much lighter than Benjamin. He laid back, his head on Valentina's bare chest. 

She began to run her finger through his hair as Ronnie watched his newborn son sleep in his arms. It felt oddly familiar. 

Notes:

i’ve started school and holy shit i have so much homework bc i’ve missed a week, but I’m all caught up for the most part. i’m supposed to get a computer from school (not my own but oh well) but they ran out so i have to wait so by next week i can post on my laptop not on my phone lol

also my birthday is next week on thursday so next i publish i will be a legal adult which is wack

hope everyone is well :)

For Context

20,000 in today’s money is 110k (scott really her giving her enough money to pay for my college)

Un man vienalga —> And I don’t care in Latvian

Chapter 74: The Divorce (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Beth and Scott meet with their lawyers, hoping to end their marriage quickly and quietly for their own reasons

Notes:

SURPRISE UPDATE SPECIAL BC TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAYYYYY

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 74: The Divorce 

 

Monday, February 3rd, 1975, Inglewood, California



Scott walked through the hallways of the building, looking for the conference he was supposed to be in. He was late, and he knew his lawyers and Beth would lecture him for it. He had come up with the excuse of bad traffic, though he was really fucking some escort. 

He spotted his lawyer, Brian Woodhouse, a tall, grey-haired man standing outside two large doors. He spotted Scott and scowled. “Where the hell have you been? You're almost 40 minutes late.”

Scott shrugged. “Traffic was bad.”

“It's a 26 minute drive.”

“I lost track of time,” Scott muttered, straightening his tie.

Brian sighed. “Well, at least you don't look like a druggie rockstar right now.”

Scott smiled. “Thank you.” He looked around. “Where's Jerry?”

“Already inside.”

Jerry Crawford was his other lawyer, his usual one, but Jerry had insisted on hiring his partner Brian, as Jerry was not a family lawyer. 

Scott sighed loudly before opening the door. Inside the conference room was a large table, but everyone was sitting closer to the door. Jerry's back was facing the door, and across from him was Beth and her lawyer. A man in a priest collar sat at the head of the table. 

Jerry turned. “Oh good, you're here.”

Scott nodded, sitting down next to him. “I'm sorry for keeping y'all waiting, I had another engagement, and the traffic was bad.” He was speaking in his business voice, which earned a stare from Beth. 

“This is Mrs. Stern's attorney, Ed Mayer, and I believe you know Father James.”

Scott nodded. 

Brian sat on the left of Scott, meaning he was now squashed in a lawyer sandwich. 

Mayer coughed and sat up straight. “I believe my client wanted to discuss the possibility of an annulment before we begin.”

Jerry nodded. “My client is aware.”

Everyone turned to Father James.

The father swallowed. “One must have certain conditions or lacking extremely important conditions before the marriage is announced as unlawful and nulled.”

“I have been reading church documents, and I believe Mr. Stern and I do have enough evidence to null our marriage,” Beth began. Her voice was small but emotionless. “Defect of contract and defect of will.”

“I'm sorry, I'm not caught up in Catholic canon law. What does it mean?” Jerry asked.

“I can answer that,” Scott replied. “I've done some reading on it because I didn't want to be completely in the damn dark about my soon-to-be ex-wife's faith.” Scott hadn't spent the whole time in the hotel doing drugs and drinking. He also had read and fucked pool boys and escorts.

Beth looked surprised. 

“Defect of contact means the marriage was not a two person union and strictly among those two persons. Means adultery. Defect of will means there's something wrong with one of the persons, whether it be mental, fraud, error of person or marriage, etc.”

Jerry and Brian nodded. 

“He's right,” Father James confirmed. “But you need to have strict evidence to present to the tribunal.”

Brian leaned toward Scott's ear and whispered, “Is the evidence pointing at you?”

Scott nodded and whispered back, “The second is me, but the first one is both parties.”

“How long do annulments take?” Mayer asked.

Father James sighed loudly. “It depends. Usually a few months to a few years.”

Both Scott and Beth frowned. Neither of them wanted to go through a few years of that.

“Look, I want it to be done as fast as possible and as quietly as possible. I don't think an annulment would appeal to either of those,” Scott stated, staring at Beth, hoping she would agree with him.

Beth was silent for a minute, and Scott could see she was trying not to get emotional. “Scott... Can I speak to you outside?”

Brian cut in. “Only if my client consents.”

Scott stood up. “It's fine.”

Scott left the room with Beth following him. She closed the door and walked down the hall. Scott followed her.

“I don't want to go through what my mother did, Scott.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know I was young, and I didn't know much, but now... Divorce was one of the worst and best things that my mom did.”

Scott cocked his head, confused.

Beth continued. “My father was out of our life for the better, and legally the marriage was over, but in the Church, it was not.”

“What?”

“Divorce is prohibited, and Mom was shamed for being a part of it. They wouldn't let her have communion, even though she went to Mass every Sunday and confession twice a month. When Ronald died, that is what ended the marriage because they didn't go through an annulment. They would have considered his marriage to Valentina to be invalid, hence why they married at a registry office even though Valentina’s Catholic.”

“This is the same church that teaches to love everyone?”

Beth sighed. “If we divorce, I can't ever remarry in the church, even if they're Catholic.”

“That's not very fair. It's not your fault.”

Beth scoffed. “I know.”

“I don't want people poking into my life. I'd really rather not,” Scott uttered, quietly.

“If both of us cooperate, we can get this done quickly and quietly.”

“And Catholic Church will probably try to exorcize me.”

Beth stifled a laugh. “Don't try to make me laugh.”

“What if we get a divorce and get an annulment? That way, it's over on both fronts, and you won't be legally married to me any more than you have to. When the annulment comes through, it'll be back to before you ever met me. Plus one kid.”

Beth nodded. “Okay.”

“Let's go back,” he muttered, walking back to the conference room. It was odd, having an actual civil conversation with Beth that wasn't about Rosie. He stopped walking and glanced at Beth. “Beth.”

“Yes?”

“I'm an atheist.”

Beth nodded. “I already know.”

Scott wasn't expecting that. 

They announced their intentions when they came back in, and Mayer pulled up documents for Beth and Scott to sign and give to the church. Beth was taking no chances apparently. Father James left shortly after, so they moved on to the fun part: Custody. 

Neither Scott nor Beth wanted to go to court, so they agreed to settle among themselves and their lawyers. This meant if everything was agreed upon in one session, they would sign the papers and wait six months to be officially divorced. The last thing Scott wanted was a custody battle. He knew by a long shot he wasn't getting full custody of Rosie. 

The first thing they discussed was the house and furniture. Scott agreed that Beth and Rosie could live in the house until the divorce was finalized, and when she moved out, she could take half of the furniture, including all baby things. Beth would also keep all personal items Scott had purchased for her and her car. Scott, in turn, would keep the house and was allowed to charge rent if he so desired. (He didn't plan to.) Scott maintained ownership of all music-related things, his cars, and everything he had bought before he and Beth were together. 

Everything had been bittersweet before, but it turned fiery when custody of Rosie was debated. Scott wanted half and half, and Beth wanted full custody, granting Scott would have visitations. Beth argued that Scott would be gone most of the time and that he wasn't exactly child-friendly. He knew she was right, but he wouldn't let her have the last word.

They eventually came to an agreement, though Scott didn't really like it. Beth would have a majority of custody, and Scott would have her 25% of the time, meaning 73 days, but he had to prove he could have her in a safe environment. If he was touring, those days counted, even if he didn't see her. Scott knew he got the short end of the stick and was annoyed, but Beth knew about his habits. He was lucky to get 73 days, though he wouldn't have that much time with her every year until she was at least walking and talking.

“Lastly, my client demands that Mr. Stern pays child support every month until the child is 18.”

Scott nodded. “I agree to this.”

“She asks you to pay 6,000 dollars per month.”

“EXCUSE ME?!” Scott yelled, causing everyone to flinch. “I am not fucking paying 72k a fucking year.”

“Mr. Stern, this is not one of your concerts. I would ask you to watch your language,” Mayer chided.

Scott chose to ignore him. “Fuck no, I will not pay that much.”

“You made well over four million dollars last year,” Beth muttered. “Before taxes.”

“My client has suggested paying 3,000 dollars a month,” Jerry offered.

“5,500,” Mayer replied.

“3,500.”

Scott butted in. “I'll go 4,000, not any higher. If you have a problem with that, then I guess we'll have to settle it in court, but that means you won't get a cent until it's finalized. And that could take years.”

Beth sighed. “4,000 it is.”

“You won't even have to fuckin' work,” Scott mumbled.

They decided to have one more session in three days before they officially signed the papers. Mayer, who worked at a Catholic-based firm, explained how an annulment would work and that there would be an investigation into the claims. Scott told him that it better be before March 19th, which is when he left for the tour. Beth agreed to Scott's surprise. 

It was already evening by the time Scott left the building. He walked over to his car, but Beth was there waiting for him.

“You took the Camaro,” she mused, leaning on the hood of the car. “The car that started our relationship will be the one that takes you away from it.”

“When did you become a philosopher?” He asked, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

Beth frowned. “I thought you smoked Camels.”

Scott glanced at the pack of Marlboro in his hand. “I switched.” He put one in his mouth. “Why do you care, you hate smoking.”

Beth's face tightened. “I think I'll leave LA.”

“I don't blame you,” he muttered, lighting his cigarette. “The city that fucked up your life and the people in it.”

“I want to leave California.”

“You can't leave until the divorce is finalized.”

“I'll keep state residence with the house.”

Scott nodded. “Where will you go?”

Beth shrugged. “I don't know yet.”

“Where's Rosie?”

“Gloria's watching her.”

“She must hate me,” Scott mused.

“She won't give her opinion. Probably because you pay her.”

“It seems I pay for everything, Beth.” 

Her face fell, and she closed her eyes. “Answer me this once, Scott. Truthfully.”

He took the cigarette out of his mouth. “What?”

Beth opened her eyes, tears pooling up. “Did you still wear the ring I put on your finger when you cheated?”

Scott swallowed. “Did you?”

Notes:

ahhhh it's my birthday!!! and ive gotten a computer from school but it blocks everything non school so i’ve had to share this onto my school account which i think makes me braver than a us marine but i cant do like a thousand other things haha i’m stressed but like i can access this site from here which makes zero sense but ok

please tell me y’all notice the subtle difference in a certain thing scott does 😳

For Context:

Divorce in the Catholic Church was extremely strict back then, and didn’t become more moderate toward it until like the 90s or something

4,000 in today’s money is about 22k

Chapter 75: Soul Searching (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie explores himself, Scott leaves for tour, and Beth wonders if it would have ended the same after all

Notes:

CW: Mentions of pill/alcohol abuse, explicit sex (sorry its kinda bad)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 75: Soul Searching

 

Friday, February 21st, 1975, Silver Lake, Los Angeles, California



The place was dark and crowded. Men mingled among each other, dancing, and some were bold enough to kiss. Donna Summer was blasting loudly, and Ronnie was pretty sure the guy next to him was just wearing a jockstrap. 

Here he was, in a gay bar to find out if he wanted to screw other men. The idea seemed more appealing the more he thought about it, but he still wasn't completely sure. But now being in a gay bar, Ronnie knew he stuck out like a sore thumb.

He had only known about the Black Cat Tavern through a groupie of Scott's, who had mentioned it when Scott said he lived in LA. How ironic, a man Scott screwed led Ronnie here. 

He had some cocktail in his hand that was half drunk, but Ronnie still felt very awkward. People were probably thinking he was an undercover cop or something by how stiff he was standing. 

Since going back to drinking (though it was a lot less than last year), Ronnie had lowered his intake of pills. Most of his nights were dreamless, but when he dreamt, they were really bad. He usually woke up covered in sweat and chills. Nguyệt seemed ever more real. She wore newer, modern clothes and had her hair in a long shag. Ronnie wasn't sure if she was a ghost, a result of survivor’s guilt, or if he was just going crazy. Some days he just decided it was all three. 

She was almost always in Ronnie’s sight. Even now. She was standing near the bathroom, holding the same cocktail Ronnie was. Maybe she was appearing because wore her ring around his neck. Maybe if he took it off, she'd go away. Though, he doubted he could take it off. He didn't even take it off when he showered. It had even left a slight mark around his neck. Good thing the chain was stainless steel. 

Olivia was babysitting Benjamin. He wasn't sure how long he'd be gone, so he told her she could use the guest bedroom if he came after 2 in the morning. He hadn't exactly planned where he was gonna have sex, but it definitely wasn't gonna be at his apartment.

She hadn't cared, really. “More money for me,” was all she muttered when he told her. She kind of reminded Ronnie of when he was a teenager. She was snarky like he was. He only hoped that she hadn’t also set her sophomore science class on fire. 

“You're not an undercover cop, are you?”

Ronnie turned to his left. A skinny man with light brown hair and pale skin was looking at him, a margarita in his hand.

Ronnie smirked and shook his head. “I would sure hope not. I'd rather not get arrested again.”

The man laughed. “What was it for?”

“DUI. Back in '68.”

“That seems like a lifetime ago.”

Ronnie nodded and took another sip of his cocktail. “Mhmm.”

The man stuck his hand out. “I'm Alex.”

Ronnie shook it. “Ronnie.”

Alex smiled and leaned on the bar's counter. “Haven't seen you around before.”

Ronnie decided not to say it was his first time in a gay bar. “I went to other places, didn't know there was one so close to my apartment.”

“You live in Silver Lake?”

Ronnie shook his head. “Too expensive. Pasadena.”

Alex nodded. “I know some friends there.”

Ronnie finished his cocktail and set the glass on the bar. “Why'd you come over, other than to have awkward small talk?”

Alex smirked and leaned toward him. “Well, you see, I saw this really attractive guy standing by the bar.”

Ronnie nodded, playing along. “What was he doing?”

“He was a bit stiff, but when I came closer, I came to find out that the really attractive guy is actually super fucking attractive.”

Ronnie's ears turned pink. “You're cute.”

Alex scooted closer to him. “And you're playing hard to get.”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “What makes you think that?”

He shrugged. “Dunno... I can just tell.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes. “Or maybe you're just needy.”

Alex cocked his head and shrugged. “Maybe.”

This guy was bold, Ronnie thought. 

“Wanna another drink? I'll pay.”

Ronnie nodded. “Thanks.” Super fucking bold.

Alex waved the bartender over. “Two Tequila Sunrises.” He glanced back at Ronnie. “You can handle tequila?”

Ronnie laughed and nodded. “Oh, yeah.”

“You dance?”

“No.”

“What about when you're drunk?”

“Nope.”

“When was the last time you danced?”

“My sister's wedding,” he replied, even though the actual last time had been with Michelle Park at the Angelix.

Alex frowned. “I wish I had an accepting family.”

Ronnie snorted and shook his head. “This was before. She fucking hates me now.”

The bartender set their drinks in front of them.

Alex raised his glass. “To asshole family members.”

Ronnie raised his glasses and smiled. “To asshole family members.”

Alex was very keen on flirting with Ronnie. They had two more Tequila Sunrises before Ronnie decided he liked Alex hitting on him and that he wanted at least to make out with him. They started touching each other casually until the next thing Ronnie knew, he was in a graffiti-covered bathroom stall passionately kissing Alex.

He had shoved past other men and locked the stall door before shoving his tongue down Alex's mouth. It was different compared to Scott. Scott had tasted like cigarettes and the cologne he wore. Alex's lips were smaller, and he tasted like tequila.

Alex had his hands running through Ronnie's hair, pulling it, combing it. Ronnie had his hands around Alex's face, bringing it up to his as Alex was a good eight inches shorter than him. The shorter man was on his tippy toes, their crouches grinding each other as Ronnie shoved Alex into the cold tile wall. 

“Fuck,” Alex whimpered.

Ronnie could feel tightening bulges in both of their pants. He let go of him and undid his belt. “I ain't got lube.”

Alex pulled a tiny tube from his pocket. “Always come prepared.”

Ronnie snickered as he brought Alex closer to him and started attacking his neck. Alex threw his head, moaning loudly. Ronnie knew everyone in the bathroom could hear them. He honestly didn't care. There were like four other people also fucking. 

Ronnie felt Alex lean forward and started biting Ronnie's ear lobe as he undid his jeans and shoved his hand into Ronnie's boxers.

Ronnie gasped at the touch of Alex's hand on his cock. He grabbed Alex's hand and pulled it before turning Alex around and shoving his pants and underwear down, revealing an even paler ass. It was very flat. He took the lube from Alex and smeared it on his dick and Alex's asshole.

“Want me to stretch you?” Ronnie asked quietly, touching Alex's shivering back.

Alex glanced back and shook his head. “I'm kinda a whore.”

Ronnie smirked before grabbing Alex's shoulder tightly and pushing him against the wall. He positioned himself before thrusting forward into Alex.

Alex groaned loudly as Ronnie buried his face into Alex's shirt, closing his eyes as he set a pace.

“Mmm,” Ronnie mumbled, clenching his teeth as he felt Alex's muscles around him, trying to push him out. Alex was right, though. He was a bit loose. 

Alex was a moaning mess, mumbling oh gods and fucks as Ronnie went faster, shoving his whole length inside of him, hitting his prostate over and over again. 

“How... fuck-big... ungh.. are you?” Alex chanted between gasps of air and moans.

“Eight,” Ronnie replied, feeling himself close to orgasming.

“Holy mother of god,” Alex feverishly replied, tightening his grip on Ronnie's side.

Ronnie slammed into the younger man one more time before coming and convulsing forward into Alex's back, panting loudly. 

 

Early March 1975, Long Beach, California

 

Beth stared at the suitcases in her room. There were seven in total, all stuffed with her clothes and things. She was moving the next day. Away from California. 

The press had been all over Scott after he announced that he and his wife were splitting. Most people didn't even know what Beth looked like, so she had been able to escape the cameras. She had felt a bit sorry for him, but if he was just going to drink, snort, and fuck his problems away, maybe he deserved it. Not maybe. No, he did deserve it. 

He was coming over today to say goodbye to Rosie and take care of any last-minute things. It was odd how fast it had been. When the year started, she was married. two months later, she was signing the divorce and annulment papers. The church's investigation had ended two days prior, meaning all Beth had to do now was pray and wait.

The door to the bedroom knocked, and Beth whipped her head. “Is that you, Scott?”

The door opened, revealing Scott. “All packed, I see.”

Beth nodded stiffly. “Flight's tomorrow morning.”

“Why Houston?”

“Delilah and her husband Steve live there, and it's not too far away from your parents, who I still very much like. We went to their wedding last year, remember?”

Scott shook his head. “It was while I was on tour. It was just you and your mom and sister that went.”

Beth's head turned, puzzled. She could have sworn Scott had been there too. 

“It's been a blur the last few weeks, I've been forgetting stuff too.”

“Or you're just drunk.”

Scott shrugged and sat on the stripped mattress. 

Beth sighed. “Scott…”

“Hmm?”

“You'll keep the house until the divorce and/or the annulment is finalized?”

He nodded. “You'll still have California residence until I come back from touring.”

There was an awkward pause.

Beth swallowed. “You know I won't let you see Rosie if you're not sober or plan to stay sober.”

Scott looked at her with his sad puppy dog eyes. “I know.”

“If you sober up and are serious about it, as well as being able to provide a safe environment for Rosie, maybe... sometime in the future, you can have more days with her.”

Scott nodded. “You promise?”

Beth nodded. 

He scratched his chin. “I guess I'll say goodbye to Rosie.”

Beth watched him stand up. “I ended things with Charlie too,” she uttered as he opened the door all the way.

Scott turned. “I know. He called me and said it was my fault.”

“That could be argued,” she mumbled.

Scott's expression turned cold. “I made my own choices, and you made yours. It's your fault just as much as it's mine.”

Beth's eyes widened. “My fault? It was my fault that you screwed my brother?”

“You never talked to me. I'd always ask if you were okay, and we'd have these great, deep, personal conversations, but you never did the same to me. I was just your boy toy. I listened to you, I did what you asked, but did you ever think about what I wanted to do? You mostly supported me in my music, but what else? I did so much to make you feel okay, but you never did. I'm sorry I found comfort in your brother. He fucking listened and actually remembered I have thoughts other than food, music, and sex. Sure, he's an alcoholic with major daddy issues, but I felt safe and comfortable with him. And now, I'll never see him again.”

Beth stared at him, unsure of what to say, her mouth partially open. 

“You could at least let me lay on your chest, treat me like I treated you. It's not that hard,” Scott muttered, his eyes turning misty. “I loved you, I really did, but a relationship works both ways, and I wasn’t your manservant.”

Beth looked away from him. “I... didn't know.”

He smirked. “You never do.” He then walked out of the room. “Goodbye, Beth.”

Beth stood there, alone, unsure of what to say or do. Was she also at fault for their failed marriage, regardless of Scott's homosexuality? Would it have ended like this anyway, even if Scott wasn't gay?

Notes:

i went from an F to a high C in the span of a week which I think is pretty slay

For Context:

The Black Cat Tavern: Historic gay bar, one of the earliest modern demonstrations of gay rights against police brutality in 1967, two years before Stonewall!

Tequila Sunrise: Tequila, orange juice and grenadine syrup

Chapter 76: Hello Again, It's Been a Long Time (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie runs into a familiar face and admits something he'd never tell anyone.

Notes:

CW: Explicit sex, discussion of past rape, torture, and other past traumas (pretty dense chapter, take care y'all)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 76: Hello Again, It's Been a Long Time

 

Wednesday, April 30th, 1975

 

 

After Ronnie's bathroom hookup, he decided he was bisexual. Obviously, Ronnie wasn't gonna go around preaching this, but it felt nice. He felt more complete. More whole, more sure of himself, even if he felt lonely.

He had been going out more often as well... and well, hooking up with pretty much anyone he found attractive. The problem with whoring around was that Ronnie had to bring his female hookups home because of Benjamin, and his male hookups were all quickies. Most women didn't even bother to leave their number after they learned he had a kid. 

It was also putting a nice hole in his wallet, going out every Friday and Saturday night or whatever. He knew Olivia was more than happy to babysit for all that money, but her mother, Abbie, had told Ronnie that she was worried about him. He had been surprised that she actually told him.

But he wasn't doing that today. Today he had gone to a dreaded dentist appointment in the morning. One of the shitty things about being an adult was that you had to schedule your own appointments. And Benjamin's. Ronnie hated the dentist, and his dentist was kinda scary anyway, making matters worse. If he was that demanding about flossing, Ronnie could only imagine how pissed he got when someone had a cavity.

He was driving around when a restaurant caught his eye. A Little Slice of Saigon in thin red letters above the building. Staring at it made Ronnie realize he hadn't had any kind of Vietnamese food other than Bian's spring rolls since before he was a POW, considering all they ate there was stale bread and shitty soup. His son had never had any food from his home country. 

It made Ronnie almost sad. If there was one good thing about the war, it was the food. He drove into the parking lot, parked his car, and sat there for a few minutes. 

“Oh, why the fuck not,” he mumbled, pulling his keys out and unbuckling his seatbelt. He locked the car when he got out and ventured inside. 

About a dozen people were eating and talking. Ronnie saw they had a bar, so he sat down and waited for the bartender to come by. The bartender saw him and walked over.

Can I get a beer?” Ronnie asked, trying his hand in Vietnamese.

The guy looked shocked. “You speak Vietnamese?”

Ronnie nodded and smiled. “Yeah, a bit rusty. I only use it when I'm talking to my four year old,” he explained, switching to English.

The bartender nodded. “Were you a translator in the war?”

“Not officially.”

“A lot of Vets come here,” he mused. “Miss the food. Others can't even look at it.”

Ronnie sighed. “Yeah... I was the other guy for a while. But... guess I miss the food.”

“You want a menu?”

“Uh... you got pho?”

The guy looked at him like he was stupid. “Dude, it's a Vietnamese restaurant. Of course we got pho.”

Ronnie chuckled and nodded. “I'll have that, spring rolls, and a Budweiser.”

“Sure,” he said, pulling a Budweiser out from the counter, opening it, and leaving. 

After another minute, Ronnie heard someone sit down a couple of stools away from him. He didn't bother to glance at the man.

“Ya know, I don’t miss the country, but fuck, the food’s good,” the man mused in a slight Cajun accent.

Ronnie chuckled and nodded before realizing he knew that voice. He knew that voice very well. He jerked his head to his right, and his jaw dropped. “Holy fucking Christ.”

Bobby stared right back at him in an equal state of shock. “Shit, Ronnie?”

Ronnie stood up. “Bobby?!”

Bobby stood up as well, and they stared at each other, unsure if it was actually happening until Bobby walked over, and they embraced.

Ronnie laughed nervously, hugging Bobby. “Oh my god.”

Bobby stepped back and put his hands on his hips. “What the fuck are you doing in LA?”

"I live here. Moved back in spring of '72."

“God, I can't believe-” he paused. “Do you wanna sit in a booth?”

Ronnie nodded and grabbed his beer bottle. Bobby sat in the nearest empty booth, and Ronnie sat across from him, now getting a good look at him.

Bobby looked calmer, yet his clothes were very trendy and bright. He was wearing red flare pants and a white mock turtleneck. His hair was in a mini afro, and he had the beginnings of a small goatee. If Ronnie hadn't heard his voice, he wasn't sure if he would have recognized him immediately. He looked good. 

He raised both of his eyebrows. “So, you gonna tell what you've been doing?”

Ronnie nodded. “After I came home, my sister and her boyfriend moved to California, and I decided to move here to get away from home but also have some family.”

Bobby leaned back. “God, I honestly thought that I'd never see you ever again.”

Ronnie nodded again. “Me too.”

“Do you still talk to anyone?”

“Yeah, Laurie, obviously but not as much as I used to. I found Isaac. He ended up marrying Bian, and they have a son named Dean and another on the way. We see each other a few times a year since we're technically family. Just saw them for Christmas, actually.”

Bobby nodded.

“But I don't speak to anyone else. No clue what they're doing.”

“I didn't really talk to anyone until recently. By some odd chance, Laurie works with my brother John now, so we recently reconnected.” He swallowed. “I try to keep that part of my life locked up.”

Ronnie sighed, knowing exactly what he meant. “Yeah.” He scratched his lip. “You live here too? I thought you were in San Fran.”

“I moved here after ending my most recent relationship, but I might move back since I go there a lot.”

“What do you do?”

“I went to community college after I got discharged. I have an associate degree. Remember when I said I want to eventually own a restaurant?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I work at a fancy place as a cook, and I’m saving up for a place of my own.”

Ronnie was impressed. “Wow. I work as a fucking mechanic and a part-time job as a projectionist.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“Well, let's just say if I have another kid, I can apply for food stamps.”

Bobby grimaced. “So... other than jobs, are you seeing anyone?”

Ronnie shook his head. “I started dating this girl Lola when I first moved here, but I had cheated on her, so we broke up 'round August 1973.”

The younger man scoffed. “That's a dick move.”

Ronnie shrugged. “I mean, we didn’t love each other, so it wasn’t exactly the worst feeling in the world, but hey, she could dance. I kinda miss that. I have no idea where she is or what she's doing right now.” He took a breath. “You said you just ended a relationship, and I’m gonna take a wild guess and say it was with a dude.”

Bobby gasped sarcastically. “How did you know?”

They both laughed. 

“Yeah, his name was Quinn. We were together for two and a half years,” Bobby explained, frowning.

“That sucks, man,” Ronnie replied, taking a sip of his beer.

“It does feel nice to talk to someone who knows about and isn't actually gay or anything.”

Ronnie looked down, debating whether or not he should say something.

The bartender came just in time, holding Ronnie's pho and spring rolls. He set them in front of him.

Thanks,” Ronnie muttered in Vietnamese before turning to Bobby. “You can have some spring rolls if you want.”

Bobby shook his head. “No, thanks. I'll order for myself in a bit.”

Ronnie sighed loudly. “Well, about that…”

“About what?”

Ronnie sighed again, trying to find the correct words. “Remember when I said I cheated on my girlfriend? Well, the person I cheated on her with was a long-term affair. I continued it even after we broke up. We only ended it in January, which I really regret now, but he was married.”

Bobby's eyes widened, and he lowered his voice. “Wait a damn minute, did you just say he?”

Ronnie took another sip of his beer.

“You're gay?”

He shook his head. “No, I'm still into girls. I'm bisexual.”

Bobby sat back, taking this information in. “Excuse me?”

“Those were among the lines of what my sister said when I told her I was sleeping with her husband.”

Bobby just stared at him. “Jesus, are you insane?”

“Yeah, but you already knew that.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I can't believe you would do something like that.”

“Yeah, my sister’s not speaking to me, and her ex-husband is not allowed to see me. Or I’m not allowed to see him because it’s somehow my fault he’s a homosexual.”

Bobby sighed. “I love white people drama.”

Ronnie laughed and shook his head. “Wait 'til you find out who's the mother of my youngest.”

“You have another kid?:

“A baby boy, name's August. He's three months old. He lives with his mother... who lives with my mother.”

“Why?”

“To make a long story short, I met her in Chicago, and by chance, she was my stepmother. My 20 year old stepmother.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, your life is like a fucking soap opera.”

“It is, isn't it?”

“Whore.”

Ronnie smirked and shrugged. 

Bobby shook his head, a smile on his face. “How come it had to be after I was stuck with you for 9 months before you realized you weren’t straight?”

“What, did you wanna sleep with me?”

Bobby shrugged. “Maybe.”

He laughed. “Do you still wanna sleep with me?”

Bobby's playful expression turned serious. “You're good-looking.”

“Thanks?”

"No, I mean, you're one of the best-looking men I know."

“Are you trying to inflate my ego?”

Bobby sighed, slightly annoyed. “You’re still like this? Even in the real world?”

“I’m even more of a smart ass in the real world, Walker.”

Bobby shook his head again. “I missed you.”

Ronnie smiled. “Me too.”

The rest of their late lunch went by quickly, and Ronnie found himself exiting the restaurant all of a sudden, stuffed. 

“You gotta get back to work?” Bobby asked, putting on his sunglasses.

Ronnie shook his head. “Nah, took the day off.”

“Today's my day off.”

They glanced at each other. There was a question in the air, just waiting to be asked. Who would ask it?

“I ain't gotta pick up Benjamin until 6 latest. Or I can pick him up on the way home,” Ronnie mused, giving Bobby a side glance.

Bobby smirked. “Are you asking me what I think you're asking?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Maybe.”

Bobby laughed, grinning from ear to ear. “Guess I'll follow you home then.”

“Guess so.”

 

***

 

Bobby groaned against Ronnie's lips as they fell onto Ronnie's bed. They sloppily wrestled around, kissing each other's face and neck. Their shoes were already off, and their legs were intertwined. Ronnie could feel Bobby's erection on his thigh.

He pushed Bobby back and peeled off his t-shirt. 

Bobby pulled off his turtleneck before starting to kiss Ronnie's bare chest. “God, I can't believe I'm doing this.”

Ronnie moaned as he felt Bobby's tongue around his nipple. “You wanted me that bad, huh?”

Bobby broke away from him, undoing his belt. “Shut up.”

Ronnie smirked, pulling his socks off and tossing them. He lunged forward and pulled Bobby by the loops of his pants. Their forehead touched, and Ronnie could feel Bobby's breath on his face. It smelled and tasted like beer and spring rolls. His own breath was probably the same.

Bobby took off his watch and set it on the nightstand while Ronnie finished undoing his belt and slid it off. He unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them, Bobby's bulge ever more apparent.

Bobby did the same to him, undoing his ratty jeans and touching his crotch, now damp from pre-come.

Ronnie moaned audibly as he kissed Bobby's lips, biting the lower lip, their spit mixing.

Bobby pushed Ronnie onto the mattress and broke away from him, pulling down his jeans. Ronnie kicked them off when they were at his ankles. Ronnie was just in his underwear now. 

“Ready?” he asked, touching the edge of Ronnie's underwear.

Ronnie nodded and sat up, pulling off his own underwear.

Bobby stared at his dick. “I've never taken more than seven inches.”

“I'm eight. We don't have to go all the way in,” he whispered, running his finger down Bobby's arm.

Bobby shook his head and kissed Ronnie's chest. “I wanna.”

He grinned and went for the red pants still on Bobby's hips and legs. It pulled it down, underwear included, while Bobby buried his face into Ronnie's neck, kissing and biting. Bobby stood up to step out of it but quickly went back to the bed to Ronnie's embrace.

They kissed and touched each other, taking time to explore one another's bodies. Ronnie felt Bobby's hand run across the scar on his thigh, touching it tenderly. He looked up and gave Ronnie a sad look. Ronnie ignored it and kissed him again, pulling him up to his face from his chest. 

“You ready?”

Bobby nodded against his lips before moving away and lying on his back. Ronnie opened his nightstand drawer and grabbed the small tube of lubricant next to his condoms. He untwisted the cap, squirted some and his hand, and left the tube on the nightstand for later use. 

He watched as Bobby spread his legs for him, his ass now exposed. He hovered over him, staring at his friend's naked body. With his lube-covered finger, he ran it around Bobby's ass, eventually touching his hole.

Bobby moaned as he slid his finger inside. And then another. With two fingers, he made a scissoring motion, causing Bobby to groan and his hips to buck up. He did it again, Bobby closing his eyes at the feeling. 

He did this for a bit longer before pulling out his fingers and sliding his cock near Bobby's entrance. Bobby's own penis was stiff as a pole, begging to be touched. 

“Just fuck me, man,” he breathed out, closing his eyes.

“As you wish,” Ronnie replied, grabbing Bobby's shoulders, closing his eyes, and thrusting, the tip of his cock slipping inside Bobby. 

Both of them groaned. Even though he had somewhat stretched him, Bobby was tight, and his muscles were trying to push him out. He thrust again, getting himself halfway in. A moan escaped from Bobby's lips, and he wrapped his legs around Ronnie's waist. 

Ronnie took a loud breath and slammed against Bobby's, taking himself all the way inside of him. Bobby whimpered and kissed Ronnie's lips, who kissed him back. He felt Bobby's arms wrapping around his, so he leaned down closer to the bed itself. He began a steady pace, moving from Bobby's lips to his neck, where he buried his face into it, feeling the sweat pooling up there.

Bobby arched his neck back and gasped loudly, muttering, “Fuck... uhhhgn mmmm.”

Ronnie moaned into his friend's neck, starting to pick up his pace and go faster, his hips slamming into Bobby's. He felt his legs tighten around his waist. He looked back from his neck and saw Bobby, a complete mess, gasping and moaning in pleasure. Their eyes made contact, and Bobby pulled Ronnie's face back on his lips. The kisses were greedier than earlier, more desperate, harsher. And it just turned Ronnie on even more. 

He moaned, feeling his orgasm building in his cock as he repeatedly slammed into Bobby's prostate. 

“I'm gonna come,” Bobby grunted, letting go of Ronnie's face,

“I didn't... eeven-mmm uhtouch you.”

Bobby smiled weakly. “Fucking can just be enough,” he whispered, running his hands through Ronnie's hair.

Ronnie thrust two more times before watching Bobby convulse and come, his hot semen spraying onto Ronnie's stomach and legs. The feeling felt so erotic it caused him to release his load too. He thrust once more, groaning and crying out, shooting up his load into Bobby. He collapsed forward onto Bobby's chest, panting like a dog. Bobby's legs dropped from his waist as he caught his breath as well.

Ronnie closed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing while listening to Bobby's pounding heart. 

“Hope I won't get pregnant,” Bobby muttered.

Ronnie chuckled lightly, now breathing through his nose. 

When both of their heart rates had slowed, Ronnie pulled out, causing Bobby to shift his body and groan. Ronnie flipped over and lay next to him, sighing.

“You always feel so empty after they pull out,” Bobby muttered.

Ronnie gave a tired half-smile. “Want me to put it back?”

Bobby blew air through his nostrils. “Maybe later.” 

Ronnie smirked and sat up, reaching down to where his jeans were. He pulled out his pack of Marlboro and a lighter before dropping them. He stuck once in his mouth and lit it, tasting smoke and nicotine. He then gestured the pack to Bobby.

“No thanks.”

Ronnie nodded and tossed the lighter and carton on the floor, grabbing his t-shirt and wiping the come off of his stomach and thighs.

Bobby swallowed. “Benjamin didn't hear none of that?”

Ronnie shook his head, tossing the stained shirt back onto the floor. “Nah, he was conked out when I got him from daycare.”

“Bet your dog did.”

“Poor Toby.”

Bobby then pointed to Ronnie's nightstand. “Can you give me my watch?”

Ronnie reached over and handed it to him.

“Jesus, it's already five.”

“You can stay the night if you wanna,” Ronnie offered, tapping his cigarette on the ashtray on his nightstand. 

Bobby looked touched. “You sure?”

Ronnie nodded.

“Won't your neighbors be suspicious?”

“No. And if they ask, I'll tell 'em most of the truth. You're an old friend I haven't seen in a few years.”

“So, minus the fucking part?”

Ronnie snorted and nodded. “Plus, we can go for round two if you're up for it.”

Bobby smirked. “We'll see.” He then pointed to a picture on the wall. “Who’s that?”

Ronnie glanced at it. It was a picture of him and Lola on her 26th birthday. They had spent it at Disneyland, which cost him a lot, but he never told her. He had liked the picture, so he never bothered to put it away.

“That's Lola. Went to Disney for her birthday.”

Bobby stared at the picture. “You never said she was black.”

“Did I have to?”

“Was she a Black Panther?”

Ronnie gave Bobby a side-eye. “Uh... I saw once she had a black barret and leather jacket in her closet, but I never asked. ...You recognize her.”

“I think she was in the San Francisco chapter before I got drafted.”

“You're a Black Panther?”

Bobby shook his head. “John was. I was more of an observer cause of my age.”

Ronnie sat up. “Huh.” This was new information for him, even though he had slightly suspected it in the past.

“Have you ever dated a white chick?” Bobby asked, slightly changing subjects.

Ronnie thought about it for a second. “...No,” he answered, slightly surprised. “My first girlfriend was Native American, Nguyệt was Vietnamese, and Lola obviously wasn't. My brother-in-law was white, though that was an affair, and he was a guy. Valentina—my youngest’s mom—’s white too, but obviously we never dated. I've screwed white girls, but I've never dated one. Huh.”

“Woo whoo for diversity,” Bobby muttered.

Ronnie smirked, and inhaled his cigarette one more time before putting his cigarette out, and getting out of bed. “I'll go make some mac and cheese for us later.” He first wiped any leftover come on his body before pulling out a clean pair of underwear from his nightstand drawer and putting it on. “I recently bought sticks of butter too, so it'll taste like heaven.” He glanced at Bobby, who was sitting up now, but his face was grave and pale. “You alright, man?”

Bobby sighed as Ronnie sat back on the bed. “Can I ask you something?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Shoot.”

“Do you get nightmares about... 'Nam?”

Ronnie nodded.

“Is... D-” he paused. “Fuck, I can't even say his name. Do you have nightmares about him sometimes?”

Ronnie swallowed, scratching the back of his neck. “Maybe a year ago or so I started to. Not as often as other shit.”

“But they're the worst…” Bobby muttered.

Ronnie nodded again.

“Ya know, the reason why I came out to you was because he got me to say it during an interrogation. Just to humiliate me. Nothin' else.” Bobby swallowed and closed his eyes. “Then he sent the guards out and... raped me.” He opened his eyes again. “I felt like I had to tell you. That somehow, it'd soften the blow. That's why I-uh cried afterward.”

Ronnie stared at Bobby in a mix of horror and pity, not sure of what to say. “Bobby…”

“He did it two more times following that. After the third time, one of the guards, the one that could speak decent English, took pity on me and told me that I wasn't the first prisoner or guard he had done that to. Probably wasn't the last either.”

Ronnie remained silent, preparing for the question Bobby was gonna ask him.

“Did he?”

He looked away, and after a while, he nodded. “When I punched him and got thrown in solitary, I got waterboarded first. It was way fuckin' worse than the first time. Eventually, I passed out from asphyxiation. When I came to, I was still in the chair but unstrapped. I was too weak to stand up, so I fell to the floor. He was sitting at the metal table, smoking. I was so dazed that it didn't even occur to me that he was smoking. I laid there, and he then started talking about his life. I was in so much pain, I could barely follow. When he finished... he put his cigarette out, pulled me onto the table, pulled my pants off, and... I didn't realize what was happening until I felt it. I felt him. It wasn't... it wasn't fast or rough, it was a steady pace. I passed out before he finished. I don't know what he did to me while I was unconscious. I don't ever wanna know.”

He swallowed, choking down a small cry. “When I came to again, I was in solitary confinement except I only remembered passing out being tortured. Ya know how your brain can block trauma? So, it decided the one thing I wouldn't remember was the rape part. Funny, considering how I turned out to be a fag anyway. I was covered in bruises too, but I didn’t know where they were from. If I had stood up, I probably would have felt more than just soreness.”

Bobby frowned. “He fucked us up pretty good.”

Ronnie scoffed. “Yeah.”

“When did you recall it?”

“I was horsing around with Scott—my sister's ex-husband—in a hotel room in Nashville. We were gonna do it on a table, and then he bent me over the table, and my mind flashed back. Almost punched him in panic. I don't know who was more surprised, me or him. He kept apologizing, but I didn't tell him what it was. Ended up screwing a girl later, and the next time we did, I was on top. That seemed to do the trick. But I won't ever do that position. Ever. I-I don't let other guys fuck me. Scott's... the only one who has. Consensually.” 

He scoffed again. “God, I've never said that out loud before. You're pretty fuckin' good at gettin' me to talk. Maybe you should become an interrogator or something.”

Bobby grimaced. “I think I'd rather kill myself.”

Ronnie chuckled sadly.

The phone suddenly rang loudly, changing the mood of the room.

Ronnie stood and groaned, annoyed. “I swear, if it's the landlord, I'm gonna hurt someone.”

Bobby smiled.

Ronnie opened his bedroom door and found Toby leaning against it, sleeping. He smiled at his dog and walked over to the living room. He picked up the phone and sighed. “Yellow?”

“Ronnie?” Bian's frantic voice asked. She sounded like she had been crying. 

“Bian? What happened, what's wrong?”

Bian switched to Vietnamese. “I'm a traitor to my country... I'll never be able to go home... my home is gone!” She cried, bursting into sobs.

“What do you mean?”

Bobby walked into the living room, wearing one of Ronnie's boxers. “What's wrong?” He mouthed.

“Haven't you seen the news, Ronnie?” Bian wailed.

“No…” Ronnie turned to Bobby and pointed to the television. “Turn it on. The news,” he mouthed.

Bobby walked over to the TV and turned it on.

“We interrupt your scheduled programming to bring updates on Saigon,” the newscaster said with a grave face.

The video switched to videos of tanks, guns, fire, and people screaming, marching, and fleeing into helicopters. in large letters at the bottom, it read, SAIGON IS BREACHED BY NORTH VIETNAM AND ALLIES, REPEAT SAIGON HAS FALLEN.

Bobby sat down on the couch, his eyes wide in shock. “Oh my fucking god.”

Ronnie stared at the screen not sure if what he was seeing was true. He had known the PAVN had gained advances, but he hadn't expected it to end like that. His hands shook as he sat down next to Bobby. All he could hear on the phone was Bian crying.

“Today, the People's Army of North Vietnam and the Viet Cong have captured Saigon after the Spring Offensive and bombardment of the city for the last three days. At 10:24 this morning, South Vietnamese President Minh unconditionally surrendered to the communist forces,” the newscaster stated over the video, but his voice seemed to trail off in Ronnie's head.

“Ronnie…” Isaac's voice suddenly sighed into the phone. He sounded exhausted.

Ronnie then began to laugh. “No fucking point. We were there two fucking years. Eight in total, and look what happened anyway. South Vietnam falls regardless. There was no point for the people who died and we killed... there was no point for the nine fucking months I spent being tortured and starved. There was no point... there was no point to that stupid fucking war.”

Notes:

This to me is a very important chapter because we finally discuss things that was hinted or alluded at earlier, and both Ronnie and Bobby watch the Fall of Saigon together, which happened on that date. It's really the first time Ronnie has opened up, whether it's from post-sex pillow talk or Bobby is the only person he trusts, I leave that to you to interpret. Ronnie's tendency to not open up and then open up to Bobby... tis intriguing. I also think it explains a lot about both characters, and I was quite excited to reintroduce Bobby, I love him.

For Context

Black Panthers --> a Marxist-Leninist and black power political organization founded by college students Bobby Seale and Huey P. Newton in October 1966 in Oakland, California. (Wiki)

Fall of Saigon --> The takeover of the city by the Viet Cong two years later on 30 April 1975. It became a symbol of the war's futility. The US was forced to abandon its embassy in the city and evacuate more than 7,000 US citizens and South Vietnamese by helicopter. (I-news)

Chapter 77: Laurie's Back (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Beth and Laurie adjust to their new living situations (sorry for the short chapter)

CW: Slight homophobia (ya know, miss beth being a homophobe ✨)
Happy Labor Day weekend!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 77: Laurie's Back

 

Sunday, May 11th, 1975, Sugar Land, Texas



Beth hadn't realized how much she had missed Texas until she came back. Texas had always reminded her of home, and it was more conservative, which she preferred. She had a feeling the day she arrived that she would be happier here than in California. 

It had been difficult adjusting to living alone with a child. She worked now, meaning she spent less time with Rosie, which made her feel bad. Rosie, however, seemed content. Then again, she was a baby.

Beth had originally been worried that she would have struggled to find a job, but the oil business was booming, and Beth was able to get a job as a secretary for an oil company. It even provided daycare for employees' children, meaning Beth was never too far away from Rosie. 

Her new apartment was nice. It was nicer than a majority of her single female coworkers' homes considering they weren't getting 4,000 a month in child support. Technically, Beth didn't have to work, but she soon learned that Scott's lawyers had sneakily put in their papers that she had to pay taxes on the money, not Scott. 

And of course, who could forget Scott? Especially when she heard him on the radio or the television, acting as if nothing had happened. When someone did bring up the divorce, Scott would change subjects or say briefly, “We were way too different for our own liking.”

He wasn't wrong there, but now whenever she heard his music start to play, she'd turn it off. Honestly, she even turned off the music of people he was known to be friends with too. Music in general was starting to annoy her. Even the hymns at church were starting to grow irritating, something that she felt guilty about. She didn't mean to sound like The Grinch, but she was really starting to dislike music. All because of her stupid ex-husband.

Adjusting to Houston had been easier than California. She actually had friends. She was able to see Delilah as often as she wanted to and had struck up a friendship with Catherine, a fellow secretary at work who also had a daughter around Rosie's age. They had met up a few times on the weekends for coffee and “playdates” for Rosie and her daughter Ivy. 

Living in Texas meant she was able to speak to Lizzie more on the phone. She had ended up dating Scott's cousin Paul, but they broke up. It seemed that they were running in different circles, though. Beth doubted they would ever meet up in person ever again. She was okay with it. Looking back, Lizzie had been too outspoken for her taste now. Honestly, the only reason she was probably her bridesmaid was that she didn't know anyone else.

The church, Sacred Heart, was even better than the one in California. The people were kind, and Beth felt welcome, though she didn't plan on adding she was in the process of divorcing her husband while annulling their marriage. She had even made a friend there too. Sophia McPaterson was the same age as Beth and also a first-generation Irish-American. There had hardly been anyone she knew in LA who was of Irish descent and was more than happy when Sophia introduced her to some of her Irish-American friends. It felt homely.

She was trying to find it in her heart to forgive her brother, but she couldn't. He had ruined everything. He had probably made the first move on Scott, turning him against her. Her brother was a bastard, and it disgusted her. Not only had he started an affair with a male in-law, but he had gotten their technical stepmother pregnant with his son. The only reason why he had married Nguyệt was that he had gotten her pregnant too. Was her older brother really so careless?

It tempted Beth greatly to inform their mother of what Ronnie and Scott had done, but she decided she wouldn't go to those lengths. She wasn't her brother, after all. She wasn't evil, no matter what either of those men thought of her. They were the ones who were mentally ill. 

Beth sat back in her rocking chair in Rosie's room. Rosie had been asleep for a while now, but Beth hadn't bothered leaving the room. The silence was peaceful. It was raining outside, and you could hear it against the roof, but Beth liked the sound. It was the sound of quiet. Something she rarely heard when she was with Scott.

 

Friday, May 16th, 1975, Sugar Land, Texas

 

Being a mechanical engineer was a definite upgrade from being a sergeant. He got paid more and no more government bullshit. Laurie's coworkers were nice, and he actually had more vacation days than he did while in the Army. Plus, it was paid.

Texas was nice too. The last time he was there was for boot camp, almost 6 years ago. Laurie couldn't believe it had been that long. But the best part about Texas was the food. It was cheap, and Texas meat tasted way better than the stuff they had in DC or even the cattle in Nebraska. He was in steak heaven. 

Out of pure boredom and curiosity on a Friday night, Laurie decided to call Ronnie. He waited until it was 8 because of the time difference, so he had spent the last two hours seeing how many times he could bounce a tennis ball before his neighbor complained. The answer was 57 times.

Laurie picked up the phone and dialed, hoping that Ronnie would answer. 

“Hello?”

Laurie chuckled. “God, it's been so long since I've heard your voice.”

“Laurie?” Ronnie asked, sounding surprised. 

“Hey, man.”

Ronnie laughed. “Shit, I haven't heard from you in a while... you missed your birthday call.”

Laurie shrugged. “Guess we've both been busy. I did get the voice message though.”

“Yeah.” He paused for a second. “But, how are you?”

“Out of the army now,” he replied, nodding.

“Oh, good.”

Laurie rolled his eyes. “The army wasn't that bad.”

“Okay, bootlicker.”

Laurie laughed. “I'm a mechanical engineer at Texaco now.”

“When the fuck did you get a college degree?” Ronnie demanded.

“Last year. I worked on it for three years. Turns out, I was smart enough to graduate a year early.”

“That doesn't sound like the Laurie I know,” Ronnie muttered.

“We've both changed, I guess.”

“...Yeah.”

There was a long awkward pause. Laurie and Ronnie listened to each other's breathing until Ronnie spoke up again.

“So... where are you now?”

“Houston.”

Ronnie scoffed. “How ironic.”

Laurie cocked his head, confused. “Why?”

“Beth's there.” His voice sounded almost stiff, like Beth was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

“Oh really, what part?”

Laurie heard his friend sigh. “I don't know... we're not on speaking terms anymore. She hates me. I only know cause my mom told me.”

“Oh. Sorry to hear that. What happened?”

Ronnie snickered, though it sounded very sarcastic. “A long story I doubt you would want to hear.”

Laurie swallowed. “Huh... are you still working as a mechanic?” He asked, changing subjects.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Laurie swallowed again. He knew he and Ronnie weren't close anymore. This was probably one of the most awkward phone calls he had ever been in. Why had he thought that this was a good idea? “Well... how's life then?”

“Uh, I ran into Bobby.”

Laurie smiled. “Really? What are the odds?”

“Yeah, and on the fucking 30th too,” Ronnie said grimly.

Laurie frowned. That day had been traumatizing. “God, seriously?”

“I know, how perfect.”

Another pause.

“I work with his brother John now, actually,” Laurie offered.

“Yeah, he told me that. Said you guys talk sometimes.”

Laurie nodded. “Hmm.”

It was really awkward now. Laurie sighed, unsure of what to say. No wonder they barely spoke anymore.

Ronnie coughed after a few minutes or seconds, Laurie wasn't sure. “It was good to hear from ya.”

He nodded. “You too.”

“I'll see you in the summer back home?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, bye then,” Ronnie uttered.

“Bye.”

Ronnie hung up, ending the call with a beeping noise. Laurie set the phone down and sat on his couch. His apartment was larger than the one he had in DC, but it was still small. The only major difference between the apartments was that the new one actually had hot water. Taking cold showers in DC during the winter had been torture. 

He sighed and leaned his head back, thinking about his and Ronnie's friendship. If you had told him back in '69 that their friendship was now more of awkward phone calls held together by the past, he wouldn't have believed it. They had been so close for so long. It wasn't like it happened on purpose. Well, consciously on purpose. People drifted apart. It was normal. Especially so when they live on opposite sides of the country. 

If Laurie was being honest to himself, he and Ronnie had really started drifting apart in Vietnam. After Ronnie married Nguyệt, they spent less time together. That was partly due to their different jobs, but Laurie avoided Nguyệt anyway. She looked too much like her sister. He felt bad now since he was way over Bian, and Nguyệt was dead. He should have been nicer to her. 

Laurie went grocery shopping the next day. His fridge and pantry were both empty, and he doubted he could live off of oxygen and dust. He never liked shopping, but sadly, his mother was not around to do it for him. He wandered around the aisles, picking stuff up and putting it in his cart. It took all the self-control he had to not just buy a fuck ton of Oreos. 

“Excuse me, could you please hand me those chips on the top shelf? I don't mean to bother you, but I'm too short to reach them,” a young woman's voice asked behind him. 

Laurie nodded. “Uh, sure,” he replied, grabbing the bag of chips and turning around to give them to her. The woman behind him was a short blonde woman he knew quite well. It was Beth. “Beth?”

Beth's eyes widened. “Laurie?”

Laurie smiled and laughed. “Hi.”

Beth hugged him, which surprised him. They were never on hugging terms before. “Gosh, it's so nice to see you. What's it been? 3 years?”

“Christmas 1972,” Laurie replied, glancing at the sleeping baby in her shopping cart.

“Wow,” Beth muttered before looking up. “What are you doing in Houston?”

“Job. I retired from the army, and now I'm a mechanical engineer.”

Beth nodded. “Impressive.”

“Ronnie actually told me that you were here last night, but he didn't know where.” He swallowed. “Said you guys weren't on speaking terms.”

Beth frowned, and her eyebrows scrunched up. “What did he tell you?”

Laurie was taken a bit back by the sudden accusatory tone. What the hell had happened? “If you know anything about your brother, it's that he doesn't talk.”

Beth nodded and took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

Laurie glanced back at the baby and the number of groceries Beth had. “That's Rosemary, right?”

Beth nodded again and smiled. “We call her Rosie.”

He looked at Rosie a bit longer before turning back to Beth. She looked tired. “Do you need help?”

Beth shook her head. “Oh, no thank-” She paused and sighed. “Honestly... yes, yes I do.”

Laurie nodded and grinned. “I'd be more than happy to oblige.”

Notes:

me putting the church my family used to go to the back we lived near sugarland (over a decade ago), very big brain of me bc i know the area, and im lazy

also, I bought my laptop ahhh I'm so proud of myself I love it so much very happy :)

Chapter 78: Fatherhood (Vol II Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie realizes his actions in his sexual life have affected other parts of his life much more than he thought

Notes:

CW: Sexual content

Latvian translations in End Notes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 78: Fatherhood

 

Saturday, June 7th, 1975, Los Angeles, California



“Where is Mamó?” Benjamin demanded, scanning across the room.

Ronnie chuckled. “Their flight just landed according to that table over there. We'll see them soon enough.”

Benjamin just crossed his arms and sunk into his seat.

“God, you're impatient,” he muttered. 

To start off the summer, Ronnie was picking up Mary, Shannon, Valentina, and August from the airport. None of them had seen his apartment yet, and Benjamin was quite excited to see his grandmother and his little brother. Ronnie hadn't bothered to keep that fact hidden. He told Benjamin that was his baby brother and that they had different moms. Benjamin didn't know how he and Valentina met, and he planned to keep it that way for a while. 

Ronnie felt someone tap his shoulder, and he turned around to see Shannon.

“Hi,” she greeted.

Ronnie stood up and hugged his baby sister, who wasn't a baby anymore. She was the same height as their mother now. “God, look at you.”

“Says the giant,” Shannon replied.

Ronnie chuckled. “Where's Mom and Valentina?”

Shannon pointed to two familiar-looking women grabbing suitcases.

“You stay with Benjamin, I'll go help.”

Shannon nodded.

Ronnie walked over to where his mother and Valentina were. “Hey.”

Mary looked up and hugged her son. Ronnie bent down so she could kiss his cheek. “Hello, mo stor.”

“Hiya.” He turned to Valentina and in her arms, August. “Christ, you're huge.”

“Watch your mouth,” Mary immediately lectured. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, taking August from Valentia's arms. “Need help?”

Valentina handed him her purse. 

Ronnie nodded. “Okay.” He went back to Benjamin and Shannon, who seemed to be playing a game.

Benjamin spotted August and jumped up. “HI, BABY BROTHER!”

August was startled by the sudden yelling.

“Hey, we don't yell around babies,” Ronnie replied as August grabbed his father's right pointer finger with his little hand.

Benjamin nodded. “Sorry.”

“How are we all gonna fit in your car?” Shannon asked, popping gum into her mouth. 

“Everyone will fit if someone holds August.”

Shannon nodded.

“You're going into... eighth grade, right?”

She nodded again.

“God, I remember when I was in eighth grade. I spent the whole year working up the courage to ask Jennifer out. And I did. Eight weeks before school ended. I asked her to the eighth-grade dance.”

“And she said yes?”

Ronnie shook his head. “No, she said no, so I didn't go. I asked her on a date after the dance. She said yes to that, and that's how we started dating.” He glanced at his sister. “But if I were you, I'd hold off on dating. The dating pool back home is very limited. If Jennifer hadn't said yes, I probably wouldn't have dated.”

“Well, I just turned 13. I don't wanna think about dating.”

“Good,” he muttered, ruffling his sister's hair.

She laughed and pushed his hand away. 

Mary and Valentina walked over to where the four were, holding suitcases.

“Shannon, take one,” Mary said, handing the slightly smaller suitcase to her. 

Shannon grumbled, but she took one anyway. 

They went to Ronnie's car from the baggage claim, and all piled in. It reminded Ronnie of a clown car. From there, he drove home. Hopefully, his mother wouldn't see any of the typical crime stuff that happened in the area. He'd never hear the end of it. 

“Oh, it's very cute,” Mary exclaimed when she stepped inside the apartment.

Toby barked in excitement at seeing all the people coming inside.

“Thanks,” Ronnie muttered, dragging in three suitcases. He then pointed to the doors at the end of the hall. “Door on the right is where you and Shannon will sleep, and I dug out Benjamin's old crib from storage, so he'll sleep in there.  Valentina, you're on the couch. It's a pullout.”

Valentina closed the door behind her. “Where is August sleeping?”

“In Benjamin's room. Crib's already set up. He sleeps through the night now, right?”

Valentina nodded, adjusting August in her arms. 

“Okay, well, then you guys can put your stuff away for now while I order Chinese for dinner.”

Mary went to the guestroom with Shannon following behind. Valentina stayed and looked at him.

“Oh, you can put your stuff in my room if you want.”

She nodded again and gave August to him before leaving the room.

Benjamin looked at his father. “Can I hold him now?”

Ronnie smirked. “Yeah, but sit down on the couch and remember to use both hands. He’s not a toy.”

Benjamin gave a big nod and skipped to the couch, sitting down promptly. Shannon came back into the room and crossed her arms. Ronnie went over to Benjamin and handed August to him carefully. August just stared at him and at his brother the whole time. He sat on Benjamin's lap, with his little tan arms around August's belly. 

Benjamin giggled. “I'm holding my baby brother.”

Ronnie smiled and nodded. “Yes, yes you are.” He glanced at Shannon. “Can you grab the camera? It's in the kitchen.”

Shannon went into the kitchen. “Wow, this is small.”

Ronnie almost said no shit out loud. 

Shannon came back out holding the camera just as Valentina and Mary walked into the living room.

“Oh, look at my little grandsons,” Mary cried, clasping her hands in delight.

Ronnie smiled as he pointed the camera toward his sons. “Okay, can you both smile for me?”

Benjamin gave a big toothy grin while August smiled too, revealing his singular tooth. Ronnie snapped a few photos before August sneezed loudly and started to cry.

Nāc šurp, mans mazais mīļais,” Valentina said, walking over to the baby and picking him up. 

Benjamin looked annoyed. “Why is he crying?”

“Babies cry a lot,” Shannon answered, sitting next to him. 

“Why?”

“They cannot speak like you and me,” Mary answered, frowning at her wailing grandson. 

Ronnie took a step back from the commotion as he dialed the number for the Chinese restaurant. He hoped his neighbors wouldn't complain about the sudden loud noises. 

August settled down after Valentina changed his diaper and fed him. Everyone seemed to quiet down with the arrival of food. As soon as Shannon was done eating, she showered and went to bed. It wasn't even 7:30. Mary followed suit, leaving Ronnie and Valentina in charge of putting the kids to bed. 

The boys took a bath together, which Valentina took photos of. Some of the pictures featured Ronnie covered in splashed water and bubbles, looking very tired. Valentina put the boys to bed while Ronnie set up the pullout couch and got the spare blanket and pillow he had.

When he finished that, he wished Valentina good night and showered, rinsing the day off him. When he got out, he was greeted by the almost ever-present Nguyệt. He chose to ignore her and put on underwear and a t-shirt before getting into bed. 

After a minute, he heard the door knock, so he turned on the lamp on his nightstand. “Yeah?”

The door creaked open, and Valentina cracked her head in. 

“Hey.”

She entered the room and closed the door behind her. “Hello.”

“What are you doing?” Ronnie asked, watching as she sat on the bed.

She shrugged. “How is life?”

“Dunno. Benjamin starts kindergarten this fall, and I feel really old.”

She cocked her head. “He is old enough?”

Ronnie nodded. “The cut-off age is 4 years and 9 months, which is how old he'll be in August. Not our son August, of course. The month.”

She laughed. “You are lucky. More money-saving.”

Ronnie sat up and shrugged. “I feel bad for the kid. I haven't been really teaching him anything other than Vietnamese. God knows what that preschool he taught him.”

Valentina shook her head. “, he is very smart.”

“What do you mean?”

“He sing ABCs and write name for Mary.”

Ronnie swallowed and leaned his head forward. “He did?”

She nodded.

“I didn't notice,” Ronnie muttered, growing.

“You have been busy.”

Ronnie scoffed. “Busy? I've been fucking whoring around and paying attention to myself instead of my son.” He sighed loudly and stood up, starting to pace.

“It is okay,” Valentina said gently.

He whipped his head towards her. “No, it's not! I'm not raising my son, the fucking babysitter, preschool, and daycare are, and I've just acted like a fucking faggot.”

Valentina sighed. “Do not say that.”

Ronnie's breathing grew more rapid. “But it's true. I've doubled my body count with how many men and women I've fucked in the last few months. I'm such a shit dad that I didn't even know my son could write his own fucking name.”

Valentina stood up. “Ronnie, calm down. I will not have more panic attack again. We become parent young. It is not your fault you cannot have freedom because you have child,” she stated firmly but tensely, almost expecting Ronnie to react how he did when she informed him of her pregnancy. 

Valentina sat next to him. “That is not your fault.”

Ronnie scowled. “It is. Fuck, he shouldn't even be mine. You're technically my stepmother, and I slept with you. That's fucked up. My son is also my technical stepbrother. He's his own uncle and nephew. That's fucked up. I'm fucked up.”

She was silent for a minute. “Well... I am worse than you. I fuck my stepson.”

He glanced at her. “Don't make me laugh.”

She held her hands up. “It is true. I seduce you, and that is very wrong.”

Ronnie bit back a chuckle. “I'm older than you by a good three years.”

Valentina laughed. “We both fucked people. I live with my dead husband's ex-wife.”

Ronnie sighed and laid back.

“You can fix whore problem.”

Ronnie raised a brow. “How?”

“Stop being whore.”

Ronnie laughed and rolled his eyes before sitting back up. “You're not wrong. My wallet would sure be grateful.”

“Say uz redzēšanos sex life.”

Uz redzēšanos?” Ronnie asked. 

“Goodbye,” Valentina translated. 

Ronnie gave a mocking wave. “Well, uz redzēšanos then.”

They both giggled, looking at each other.

Valentina then leaned forward and kissed his lips.

Ronnie leaned back. “I just said I was gonna stop being a whore.”

She blushed. “You cannot stop me being whore, and I have not had sex since Ronald died.”

Ronnie leaned down and kissed her neck. “Don't talk about my father if you're trying to get in my pants.”

She blushed again, much redder as her hands started to touch Ronnie's face and hair. Ronnie went from her neck to her lips, where he kissed her passionately, holding the back of her head with his hand. Valentina laid back on the bed, and Ronnie hovered over her as they continued to kiss.

Valentina grabbed the ends of his t-shirt and pulled it up, exposing his lower back and stomach. Ronnie pulled it off and tossed it aside while Valentina pulled off the sundress she had been wearing. 

“How the fuck did you get away with wearing no bra?” Ronnie muttered, licking the space between her breasts.

“No one sees my tits when I have baby on arm,” she replied, pushing his head down.

Ronnie went past her chest, down her stomach, which still had stretch marks from August's birth. Not that he cared. 

“No one has go down on me before,” she whispered as Ronnie touched the insides of her thighs with his tongue.

Ronnie looked up. “I'll be glad to be the first.”

 

***

 

Ronnie crawled back into the bed after he peed and threw out the condom. He put the covers over as Valentina laid her head between his shoulder and his chest, wrapping her arm around his upper ribcage.

“Sex with condom is nice.”

Ronnie chuckled. 

She then pointed to her nether region. “That was best orgasm in my life.”

Ronnie wasn't sure what to say. “Uh... thanks?”

“My only one,” she mused.

Ronnie was surprised. “Really?”

Valentina nodded. “It take long time for women.”

“I know that.”

“You are good lover then.”

Ronnie smiled. “It's all in the tongue.”

She laughed.

The bedroom door opened suddenly, and in the doorway stood Mary, eyes like daggers, glaring. 

“MOM!” Ronnie shouted, pulling the blankets to cover Valentina.

Mary put her hands on her hips. “Seriously?”

Valentina's face turned red in embarrassment.

Ronnie sat up. “You can knock.”

“You can be quieter,” Mary shot back.

Valentina was redder than a tomato. 

“Look, you're both adults and widowed, but seriously?” She leaned forward. “Here? Now?”

“We used a condom if it makes you feel better.”

“It would make me feel better if you waited until marriage again.”

Ronnie swallowed. “I didn't lose my virginity with Nguyệt, Mom.”

Mary's face paled for a second before she sighed loudly. “God, help me,” she muttered in Irish.

Ronnie flashed a grin. “I love you, Mom. I'd hug you, but-”

“I know.” She paused. “Horny monkey.”

Ronnie bit back a laugh. “Sorry.”

Valentina looked up. “I attend confession next week,” she whispered. 

Mary sighed again. “Good night.” She pointed at them. “I better not hear anything more.”

They both nodded.

She frowned, looking very disappointed, before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. As soon as the door closed, Ronnie turned to Valentina.

“I am so sorry.”

Valentina laughed awkwardly and covered her mouth with her hand. “That was worse than being caught by my mother.”

Ronnie swallowed, still taking in what just happened. “I didn't know you were religious.”

She nodded. “Not as Catholic as Mary, but I attend Mass on Sundays.”

He rubbed his face and sighed. “Well... moving on... I'm gonna be Benjamin's life more. And August's.”

“That is good.”

“I just promised myself I'd stop sleeping around, but here we are, naked in my bed, and my mom just slut-shamed me.”

She laid her head back on his chest. “I do not count. I have your son.”

Ronnie chuckled and kissed her temple gently. “Thanks, Valentina.”

She smiled warmly.

Notes:

hola

 

LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

Nāc šurp, mans mazais mīļais --> Come here, my little darling

Nē --> No

Chapter 79: The Descent to Hell Is an Easy One (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Scott drowns in fame and vices

CW: Homophobia, usage of homophobic slur, drug abuse/usage, some sexual content

Notes:

happy sunday!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 79: The Descent to Hell Is an Easy One

 

Friday, June 27th, 1975, Mexico City, Mexico




Scott woke up to snoring and a killer headache. He opened one eye and found himself staring at the ceiling. There was a stain there. Scott was pretty sure it wasn't there when he had checked in. He sat up and groaned, slowly opening his other eye. 

He was lying naked between two men, who were also naked. He had no recollection of the apparent threesome. The room was messy. Clothes were thrown all over the place, various items were strung around, and he was pretty sure the white powder next to the phone was cocaine. Or talcum powder. His head hurt too much to test it at the moment.

He rubbed his face and blinked a few times, adjusting to the light. He really needed an Advil or something. Scott crawled to the end of the bed and got off, standing up, feeling the morning air on his naked body. He went over to the white powder, held his left nostril shut, bent down, and snorted it, hoping it was not talcum powder. It was not.

Scott sniffed loudly and wiped his nose with his arm. He stared at the two bodies in the bed before stumbling into the bathroom, hoping to find the Advil bottle he remembered asking for the night prior. The bathroom was cleaner than the room, but there was toilet paper and an empty bottle of champagne on the floor.

He eyed the bottle sitting on the counter and opened it, spilling like seven into his hand, popping them, and swallowing them dry. He then took a piss, staring as the water in the toilet turned yellow. He flushed the toilet when he finished and turned to face the mirror.

There was still smudged eyeshadow and eyeliner on his face. There were almost always eye bags under his eyes to the point people were starting to say it was his look. His eyes were bloodshot but looked dull and lifeless at the same time. He wiped off the leftover coke on his nose and left, not bothering to wash his hands. 

Scott stared at the two men for another minute before shaking their legs. “Hey, wake the fuck up,”

The one with the mustache opened his eyes.

"Time to get out,” he commanded in Spanish.

Mustache nodded and stood up, stretching and stumbling.

The other one opened his eyes. “Why must we go?” He asked in a heavy accent. “You're still naked,”  he added in his native language. 

“Because I fucking said so,” Scott replied, picking up his clothes and throwing them at him. 

The man got out of the bed and reluctantly put on his clothes. When they both were dressed, Scott pointed to the door.

Adíos.”

The two men left, closing the door behind them. Scott sighed loudly and went back to the bathroom, opening the plastic curtains and turning on the showerhead. He stepped into the shower and rubbed his face, getting any over left bits of smudged makeup off.

He wrapped himself in a towel after 15 minutes or so, turned the shower off, and came back into the main room. He dried his hair and his balls before dropping the towel on the floor and rummaging through his shit to find clean clothes. He made a mental note to have Peter send his casual clothes to a laundromat. He managed to find a pair of underwear along with dark brown bell-bottoms, an orange, white, and brown satin button-up shirt with floral patterns on it, a wide brown leather belt, and tan cowboy boots. 

Out of the five buttons on his shirt, he only buttoned the last three, exposing his chest and part of his eagle tattoo. Since embarking on the III tour, Scott had gotten two more tattoos, a small Japanese-styled dragon on his left hip and Rosie's name on the inside of his right ankle. He had gotten the dragon in Osaka and his daughter's name while he was in Stockholm. He had been missing her more than usual, so he had gotten it and promised himself to stay sober for the rest of the tour. This promise lasted about five hours. 

Scott walked over to the balcony and went outside, grabbing his lighter and a pack of Marlboro. From his room, he could see all of Mexico City. The nicer parts, anyway. It was late morning by now, and the city was bustling with life. He liked Mexico. Not to mention the food was heavenly. 

He opened the carton and pulled out a cigarette. Setting the carton aside, Scott put the nicotine stick in his mouth and opened his lighter, getting a flame on the third try. He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke in his mouth. He blew smoke from his nostrils, exhaling as he stared at the skyline. 

Scott continued to smoke quietly until he heard a loud knocking coming from inside. Sighing, he put his cigarette out on the table next to him and went inside. The only people who would knock on his door were either the cleaners or Peter. Scott hoped it was cleaners. 

He opened the door and was disappointed to see Peter. 

Peter didn't wait for Scott to let him in. He just pushed him aside and stepped inside, glancing at the mess. “This is a fucking pigsty.”

“I hadn't noticed,” Scott muttered. What did the guy want?

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah,” Scott lied.

Peter looked annoyed. “Cocaine and heroin aren't breakfast.”

“Well, it was just cocaine. And Advil.”

Peter sighed and rubbed his forehead. “We need to talk.”

“We are talking.”

Peter shot him a look. “This is getting out of hand.”

“What's getting out of hand?”

“You're a fucking druggie.”

“And who the fuck isn't in this industry?” Scott fired back.

Peter scowled. “You were supposed to be the golden boy here. A fucking star who doesn't have an egotistical god complex. Look at yourself. Is this what you wanted when you signed?”

Scott swallowed. “No, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.”

Peter laughed, unamused. “You wear women's shirts, you paint your nails, and don't get me started on the make-up.”

“That's tame compared to everyone else. At least I'm not fucking wearing spandex and lipstick. Nobody cares anymore.”

“You'd be surprised about how many do. I do. Beth does.”

“Don't you fucking dare bring up Beth.”

“She was good for you. A rope to hold you down when you started going too high.”

“She was a cunt, that's what she was,” Scott replied, growing increasingly angry. 

Peter waved his hand in the air. “And... now this.”

“This what?”

“You ain't fucking slick, Scott. Not very good at hiding it either.”

Scott glared at his manager.

“I was gonna be a lot nicer until I walked past those fags leaving from your room.” Peter sighed. “I wouldn't have signed to you if I had known about your sexual deviations.”

“Fuck off, Peter,” Scott growled, stepping closer to the older man.

“I liked your brother-in-law, Ronnie. Sure, he drank way too much and was just as much of a slut as you are, but at least he was discreet when it came to your relationship.”

Scott took a step closer. “The fuck you implying?”

“I think you know exactly what, Scott,” Peter answered with a look of disgust. 

Scott resisted the urge to punch the mother fucker. “You're fucking my manager, I pay you to take care of my shit and NOT judge me.”

“Four years ago you were this bright and innocent kid from Texas. Look at you now. A fucking faggot.”

“A fucking faggot with more friends than you. A few words from me, and you'll never work for anyone famous again.”

“Well, if they're all like you, I'd rather shoot myself.”

Scott decided then to grab Peter by the collar. “Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here. Now,” he hissed. He let go of Peter and pushed him back. “Well, if you're so insistent, you're fired. Effective immediately.”

Peter actually looked surprised. What was he expecting from Scott? An apology? “You're not serious.”

Scott laughed without humor. “Oh, I am. I may be high off my shit right now, but I know what I'm saying.”

“What about the rest of the tour?”

“Darlene already does half of your shit for you, so now I'll just pay her for it.”

Peter scoffed. “Burn in hell.”

Scott smiled. “Already there. Descent into hell's easy, right? I've been there quite a while now.”

Peter turned around and started walking towards the door.

“I look forward to chatting with Millie.”

Peter whipped around at the sound of his wife’s name. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, I bet she'll love it when I tell her about what you do with my female groupies.”

Peter's face paled. “You wouldn't dare.”

“Considering you came in here and called me a faggot... yeah, yeah I would.” He gave him a mocking frown. “And what? You'll tell her I'm gay? You think I care? You think she'll care more about that?”

Peter gulped.

“Get. Out.”

Peter opened the door and slammed it behind him. 

Scott sat down on his bed in shock. He had just fired his manager, someone he had considered his friend. Fuck, he had even been one of Scott's groomsmen. He had just fired Peter. He was gone, and now Scott didn't have a manager. 

He glanced at the phone, sighing. He should probably call Darlene. 

“You did what?!” Darlene asked in disbelief after Scott called and told her of Peter’s new status.

“I fired Peter,” he repeated.

“...Why?”

Scott told her what he said.

Darlene already knew he was gay. She had caught him on the last tour with a guy in bed. All she said was, “You can still get chlamydia from anal.” Scott later learned that her son Steven had come out as gay shortly before that tour.

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

“Be my manager. For the rest of the tour, at least. It'd just be a month. I'll pay what I'd usually pay Peter in a month.”

“And how much is that?”

“12k.”

“Seriously?” Darlene was shocked. “For a month?”

“Yeah. 144,000 a year. It'll get higher as I make more money.”

Darlene was quiet for a good minute. “That's more than I make in five years.”

Scott swallowed. 

“...Get me in contact with your lawyers after the tour.”

“Why?”

“I think I'm about to quit my current job.”

Scott smirked. “Really?”

“Well, if you're alright with that.”

“Please.”

Scott hung up shortly after. That had been easy. He had done it high too. He grabbed his wallet and left the hotel room, deciding to check out the city. Hopefully, Darlene wouldn't go batshit when she saw how much he had spent on room service.

It was already 3 pm by the time Scott left. The sun was settled in the western sky, but it was still quite blue. Sunset here during the summer didn't happen until at least 8. He would have at least five hours before night fell and the real fun began. 

He wandered around the marketplace, watching as the merchants shouted about their goods. It always amused Scott because once they saw him, the language would switch to broken English, and the price would be thrice as much. Scott liked to play along, being the dumb white tourist until it came to pay. He'd pay the original price and then start speaking Spanish. Their reactions never got old. 

Even if it never got old, Scott found it less amusing than he usually did. He only stuck around the marketplace for an hour, not bothering to buy anything.  If he was honest, he rarely went out to explore the city he was in, unlike last year's tour. If he did go out, it was straight to a nightclub or a bar or somewhere with sex and drugs.  Today was the first time he had ventured into the city since the tour had started. 

When the sky turned orange and pink, Scott left the old part of the city, the area he had been exploring, and took a taxi downtown, to where the expensive, modern shit was. The area where rich people like him blew their money on whatever the fuck they wanted/could afford. 

Scott had always been rich. By the time he was five, his father was a multi-millionaire. Now he was a multi-millionaire himself. Still, his father had taught him to be grateful and only loaned him 7,000 when he was first trying to make it in the music industry. Still, he had made it on his own (mostly), and he was proud of that. 

Money had always been a sore subject for Ronnie. Scott knew he was jealous at times and resented the fact Scott made well over 500 times the amount Ronnie had made as a mechanic. Scott ignored their pay gap, but sometimes, when Ronnie thought Scott was asleep, he would look at the Franklins and 50 dollar bills in Scott's wallet. He never stole anything, but sometimes, Scott had wished he did. It was almost like Ronnie was trying to guilt-trip him. It wasn't his fault he and his father were well off. 

Scott didn't like to think about Ronnie. It made him sad and angry. He missed him, but he was also angry. Why the fuck had he told Beth? He was the one who had fucked it up, not Scott. Was he thinking about him? Did he regret ending it? 

Scott hadn't caught it at first. He hadn't realized he was subconsciously doing it. He hadn't realized that all the men he had screwed on this tour either had black hair, dark blue eyes, or both. He hadn't realized he had been subconsciously fucking Ronnie the whole fucking time. 

When he did notice it, he punched a wall in frustration, but he hadn't stopped either. All the men were black-haired or blue-eyed or both. Scott doubted Ronnie missed him as much as he did. He hated himself for that. 

The nightclub was dark and grimy. It was loud, dirty, and immoral. He was in a VIP room, watching as the men and women around him snort cocaine, dance, or straight up have sex. It was a normal night for him, as much as he hated to admit it. Those scenes didn't shock him anymore. He participated in those scenes now. It was intoxicating, but you couldn't get away from it. Nor did you want to. 

His belt was around his left arm, and there was a needle in his right hand. He hadn't done heroin since Paris last year. He hadn't liked the feeling of withdrawal afterward. Cocaine wasn't as bad, but heroin... it was like life had gotten sucked out of him. 

He watched as he injected the brown liquid into his veins, sighing loudly. The feeling of euphoria was almost worth the withdrawal. Almost. He sunk into the velvet couch he was sitting on, undoing the belt on his arm.

He felt someone kiss his neck. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, letting the unknown man touch and kiss him. The man's rough hands touched his chest and his neck as his lips trailed down until he was on his knees, staring at Scott's crotch. Scott felt him undo his pants and touch his cock, now stiff and erect.

Scott gasped softly as the man kissed the tip and then immediately took four inches down the throat. He breathed loudly, biting his lip as the man began to bob his head, licking and sucking. He grabbed the man's head and pulled him closer, causing him to gag.

Scott opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, which was dark and only illuminated by red light. He almost laughed. No wonder Beth wanted him away from Rosie. He was sitting in a nightclub in Mexico doing drugs and getting his dick sucked while the people around him were in an orgy. He was everything she stood against. With the red light, he was practically Satan. That thought amused him. 

Then he remembered the promise he had made to Beth. The promise he had made for Rosie. He was far from the man he promised to be. A voice in his head told him to stop, but he didn't listen. He honestly didn't have anything else. 

“I am a terrible person,” he whispered, feeling his building orgasm about to come on. 

Notes:

moved into a house over on wednesday! pretty excited, and it's really nice, though I'm still surprised my parents could afford it. now we're house poor, but oh well, I have my computer so I'm good.

also absolutely broken hearted about phantom of the oprea closing like 🥲🥲

hope everyone is well!

For Context

12k is about 66k in today's money, meaning 144k was about 792k (damn)

7,000 in 1970 is 38,535.26 today (Scott saying it was only a little bit is really funny to me like shut up rich boy)

Chapter 80: Laurie and Beth (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Beth, now officially divorced, finally opens up to someone as she and Laurie get closer

CW: Slight homophobia,

Notes:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 3K AHHHHHHHHHHH

but seriously though, it means a lot to me, especially considering this is an original fic, so thank you so much, y'all are the best <33

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 80: Laurie and Beth

 

Sunday, July 13th, 1975, Sugar Land, Texas



Beth's lawyer sent the divorce papers during the first week of July. It was official. She and Scott were no longer legally married. She felt a sense of relief when she read his letter. That officially closed a chapter in her life. 

Her main problem now was the annulment. Now that she was an officially divorced woman, she knew she could not receive communion unless the marriage had been dissolved by the church. Whenever her friends asked, she only stated she was in the process of an annulment, omitting everything about the divorce part. She wasn't lying, but she still felt bad about keeping secrets. Maybe she'd be more honest when the church granted the annulment. 

She was worried that they may not even grant the annulment. They hadn't granted her mother's. Then again, her father had refused to allow an investigation. Scott had implied that he had given “a large donation” to speed up the process, but Beth refused to think that.

She and Laurie had grown closer since running into each other at the grocery store. He wasn't the same boy he was six years ago. He had matured, and Beth enjoyed talking to him. He didn't mind Rosie, and in fact, offered to watch her when Beth was busy. He definitely wasn't the same person six years ago. Then again, neither was Beth.

She invited him for lunch that Sunday, after Mass. She had cooked everything in the morning before church, so she could just reheat it in the oven. It was nothing crazy, just her mother's chicken casserole recipe. 

The doorbell rang just as Beth was taking the casserole out of the oven. She smiled as she set the glass pan on her counter before taking off her oven mitts and heading toward the door.

Laurie was holding a small cake box. “Hi,” he greeted.

“Is that a cake?” She asked, letting him come inside.

Laurie nodded. “Angel food. Saw it at the store and thought I should probably bring something.”

Beth grinned, taking the box from him. “Oh, you didn't have to.”

“Well, Ma taught me that if you don't bring something for your host, that's rude.” He looked around. “Where’s Rosie?”

“She’s sleeping.” Beth took the box into the kitchen. “Your mom's a sweetheart. How is she?” 

“Uh, she's good. She thinks she can retire in three more years, I think.”

Beth's eyes widened. “Really? Isn't she only 43?”

“42,” he corrected. “Yeah, I know, but since the military paid for my college, she has all that money.”

“Sometimes, I forget about how young your mom is.”

Laurie nodded. “She says she'll retire, but I think she won't. At the most, she'll move out of Ridge's Creek.”

“Where do you think she'll go?”

“Well, she makes a point to avoid Missouri, so probably nowhere near there.”

“What's in Missouri?”

“Her family. We're not on speaking terms.”

Beth cocked her head. “Why?”

Laurie shrugged. “Long story.”

Beth nodded. She knew better than to butt in. 

“But she's been talking about Washington state or Oregon.”

“You know why?”

Laurie shook his head. “I think she knew someone there a long time ago.”

Beth smirked. “Is someone about to have a stepfather?”

He rolled his eyes. 

Beth smiled again and grabbed two plates from the counter. “Hungry?”

Laurie nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

Using a knife, Beth cut into the casserole while Laurie sat down at the table. 

“Need help?”

Beth shook her head, cutting the casserole into little squares. “No, thanks.”

Using the knife, she balanced the little square and put it on the white china plate. She repeated the motion, placing a slightly smaller piece on the other plate. Beth covered the glass dish with tin foil and brought the plates over to where Laurie was sitting. Laurie took a plate from her and set it in front of him. He nodded his head in thanks.

Beth set her plate down and went back into the kitchen to grab two forks. The silverware had been a wedding present from Scott's Uncle Martin (Clarie's brother) and Aunt Grace, who were Paul's parents. Beth had gotten it while they were dividing up their possessions. They were pretty and had little floral designs on the ends. Beth was glad she was the one who had gotten them.

She handed a fork to Laurie and sat down, sighing. She rolled her shoulders and made the sign of the cross. “Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.”

Laurie sat silent until she finished and made a second sign of the cross. “Can I dig in?”

Beth nodded. "Please."

Laurie began to eat, cutting off a piece with his fork and putting it in his mouth. “Mmm, this is really good.”

“Aw, thank you.”

“Mary's recipe?”

Beth nodded, taking a bit herself. 

“She's such a great cook.”

Beth swallowed. “But your mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had.”

“That's all she can make. Why do you think she ordered food whenever you guys were over?”

Beth laughed. “Well, she tried.”

Laurie shuddered. “You've never had burnt pasta before.”

“That is true.”

Laurie smiled and took another bite. 

“Did you come from church?” Beth asked, pushing the plate away from her when she finished. 

Laurie shook his head. “I mean, I go, but not every Sunday.”

Beth nodded. “You're Congregational, right?” She decided not to push as to why he didn't go every Sunday.

“Yeah. You just came from church then?”

“Mhmm.”

“Your dress is real petty,” Laurie muttered, admiring the patterned prairie dress she was wearing.

Beth almost blushed. “Are you just flattering me because of the food?”

Laurie chuckled. “No.”

“But you should come to church with me. People there are so nice, and they have donuts and coffee afterward.”

Laurie nodded. “Is that a date then?” He asked teasingly.

Beth pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. 

Laurie broke into a laugh. “You know I'm teasing you, Beth.” 

Beth nodded, though her face was still serious. At that moment, Laurie had reminded her of Ronnie when he was younger.

“You okay?”

“Yes, just thinking about the past.”

He swallowed. “What exactly happened with everything?”

Beth hesitated. “I... can't talk about it.”

“It seems like you need to. Have you talked to anyone about it?”

Beth shook her head. “My friends are terrible at keeping secrets, and it's too personal.”

“I'm pretty good at keeping secrets,” Laurie offered.

Beth smiled sadly. “Sure.”

“I'm serious. You look like you need to talk about it.”

Beth swallowed. “I can't keep it bottled forever, I know... but you're gonna judge me.”

“I will go in with an open mind, and I promise I won't judge you,” he stated, sounding dead serious. 

“Really?”

He nodded.

Beth took a deep breath. “Let's go to the couch then.”

She stood and went into the living room, sitting on the lime green sofa. Laurie sat down next to her, leaving a few inches between them. He unloosened his tie and pulled it down, undoing the top two buttons of his shirt. 

“Nowadays,” she began, “I don't get the phrase opposites attract. Scott and I were totally different people, but that doesn't matter when you're in love, right?”

Laurie nodded.

“We shouldn't have dated. I let my morals down once and had a one-night stand…” She waved her hand. “Look where we are now.” She scratched her collarbone. “Things started to change after we got married. He was distant, and our differences were really starting to show. Not to mention the clothes he was wearing and the people he was hanging out with... I should have known something was up then.” 

“He cheated?”

She nodded.

“I'm sorry.”

Beth shrugged. “It was something I was always paranoid about. He gets thousands of people screaming and wanting to have sex with him at every show he plays, and I even know that's beyond temptation. I knew deep down that he might mess around with a few, and that I would just pretend I never noticed or stood by the groupie or the 1,000 mile rules.”

“What are those?”

“Groupies don't count, nor does it count when you're over a thousand miles away. I thought Scott would ignore that. He did the first tour.

About a year into our marriage, we got into a fight. I accused him of cheating. He admitted to it. I demanded to know what she was doing that I couldn't, and then he said- no, he yelled that he was a homosexual.”

Laurie's eyes widened. “Oh.”

“I was so stunned that I couldn't continue the argument. I just kicked him out of the room. Later, I asked who made him realize it, but he never told me.

I grew angry and jealous, and around that time, his brother Charlie and his wife moved to California. I grew close to Charlie. We were very similar, and I felt like he understood me. Around the same time, Scott was practically flaunting the media with makeup and the clothes he'd wear. I hated him for it. It was embarrassing.”

Beth sighed. “Charlie seduced me, and I let him. I was happy to live in sin. I loved it.” She swallowed. “It got a bit better after he came back. Had brought me gifts, and I felt guilty for cheating. I wonder if he did too. He apologized for everything except being gay. Said he wouldn't apologize for that, but he'd stop messing around, and he'd be there for Rosie. He kept saying he still loved me, but we'd never have sex again.”

She laughed softly. “I started crying. Then he promised he'd abstain from sex and that I could sleep around if I wanted to. Gosh, I felt so terrible for sleeping with Charlie earlier that day. But he didn't stop seeing the person he had started the affair with. I didn't either.”

Beth's voice turned bittersweet. “Turns out I knew the person he was seeing. I knew him very well. I'd known him my whole life. He and Ronnie were sleeping together.”

Laurie's jaw fell to the floor. “What?!”

She nodded.

He looked shocked. “Ronnie's gay?”

Beth scoffed. “He says he's not.”

Laurie looked down. “I see why you guys ain't talking to each other.” He looked back up. “So, Scott slept with... your brother, and you had an affair with his?”

Beth looked at her lap, ashamed. Out of all the people she could have confided in, she told Laurie Alders everything that happened. 

He frowned. “Hey, it's okay.”

She looked back up, near tears. “It's not. I've been too afraid to tell the priest at confession because I don't think God will forgive me.”

Laurie scooted closer to her. “You know that's not true. If that guy on the cross with Jesus can be forgiven, so can you.”

Beth smiled. “You would never be this nice to me seven years ago.”

“A lot has happened. I'm not a teenager trying to compete with your brother anymore.”

Beth leaned forward and hugged him tightly, grateful for his kind words. He rubbed her back gently like she did when she was putting Rosie to sleep. He smelled nice, unlike the reeking scent of cigarettes she smelled when she and Scott kissed, even after he used mouthwash.

She let go of him, and they stared at each other. Beth had never noticed how pretty Laurie's eyes were. They were a brilliant green color, almost the same color as the couch. Most of their interactions with each other in the past were to see who could be more annoying. Laurie was actually quite handsome, and unlike Scott, he looked real. 

Laurie leaned down and touched her lips with his. It was soft and gentle, and Beth closed her eyes. Then Laurie suddenly pulled away.

He was silent for a minute. “Never thought I'd do that.”

Beth scooted next to him until their thighs were touching. “Do it again.”

“Are you sure?”

Beth nodded, touching Laurie's face.

Laurie kissed her again, this time a bit harder. Beth's hands found his hair, and she combed through it as their tongues met. He tasted like chicken casserole, but Beth assumed she did as well. 

Beth's right hand pulled his tie completely off as Laurie's free hand began to slide up her legs. Both of her hands began to unbutton his shirt as Laurie's mouth left hers, and he started to kiss the side of her face. Both of them were panting.

Laurie's hands went to her back and began to unbutton her dress. Beth stopped unbuttoning his shirt and pulled away. Laurie let go of her.

“I can't,” Beth whispered.

Laurie nodded. “We don't have condoms anyway.”

Beth saw he was hard. “I'm sorry.”

Laurie's ears turned pink, and he crossed his legs. “It's not your fault.”

“I... just don't want to start another relationship from a hookup.” She blushed and looked down. “That is... if you want one.”

Laurie touched Beth's chin and lifted her face. “I think we could be in one.”

Beth smiled.

Notes:

it was always the plan for them to get together heheh

Chapter 81: Back Home (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Scott faces his family after his tour and divorce (ft. a random David Bowie)

CW: Drug usage (weed), homophobia, usage of homophobic slur, emotional abuse (and also raging mommy issues)

Notes:

This is the first time we look at the Stern family without the presence of other people, wonder what y'all gonna think

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 81: Back Home

 

Wednesday, July 23rd, 1975, Manhattan, New York



“God, that is a good blunt,” Scott mused, taking the joint out of his mouth.

“Couldn't find anything that good on tour?” David asked, lighting his own.

Scott shrugged. “I ran out of the good shit like a week in.”

“Shame.”

The final date of the tour had been in Vancouver on the 19th. He had flown from there to California to settle final affairs with the divorce and sign Darlene as his manager. He moved the rest of his stuff out of the house, not wanting to stay any longer than he could, and put it up for sale. He already had multiple buyers, and it had only been on the market for two days. 

Darlene lived in New York with her husband Hector, a Broadway set designer, so Scott had been staying there. Scott liked New York anyway. He knew more people here, and it was easier to get on with life. Most New Yorkers didn't give a flying fuck who he was, and Scott did not mind at all. 

“Do you know what you're gonna do now?”

Scott shook his head. “No fucking clue.”

“Go back to the studio?”

“I don't know, not feeling very creative right now. All I've come up with since the last time I was in the studio is a four-chord guitar riff, and it's not even that good.”

David nodded, his joint dancing between his fingers. “We can’t all be creative 24/7.”

Scott scoffed. “Says you.”

Although Scott had met David Bowie back at a party in ‘72, they hadn't become friends until he invited him for his last show as Ziggy Stardust back in July ‘73. Scott found they had much in common, and since they played similar genres, it made sense for them to be friends. Scott liked how open David was. He liked his privacy, but Scott sometimes wished he had the balls to be as flaunting as his dear British friend was. 

“I still can't believe you're gonna be in a movie,” Scott muttered, taking another hit.

David shrugged. 

“When do you fly back to New Mexico?”

“Tonight. Flight's in seven hours.”

Scott nodded. 

David's fingers were twitching, a sign that he hadn't used cocaine in a while. If people around Scott thought he did a shit ton of cocaine, David was the literal god of it. He always had a dollar bill on him, the sacred coke dollar. He even kept it with him while he was on stage. 

“Heard you fired your manager. Welcome to the club.”

“Yeah, he barged into my hotel room, called me a faggot, a disgrace, and then said how great my ex-wife was.”

David grimaced. “Christ.” David was one of the few people who Scott had told he was gay. “I never got to meet your wife.”

“Well, she can't stand you.”

David frowned. “Ouch.”

Scott chuckled. “She can't stand most of the things I do or like. How's you and Angie?”

“We're getting on. Nothing like your marriage.”

“Note to self: Don't date conservative Catholic girls when you are in the closet.”

He laughed. “Darlene Bernstein's your new manager, right?”

Scott nodded. “She's only been my manager for a month, and I love her.”

“She's great. Planned the year before last’s tour for me.”

Scott blew smoke from his mouth. “Yeah, that's why I'm here. I don't wanna stay in LA, and she lives here, so.”

“Do you think you'll stay here then?”

Scott shrugged. “I've been wanting to move here, and maybe if I'm away from California, Beth will let me have more time with Rosie.”

“Well, I'll miss you in LA.”

Scott nodded. “Me too.”

David stood up. “I should probably get going,” he said, putting out his joint in the ashtray between them.

Scott stood up as well. “Nice seeing ya.”

They shook hands and side-hugged. 

“Have fun with the coke,” Scott joked as David opened the door.

David glanced back and just smirked before closing the door behind him. 

And like that, Scott was alone again. It wasn't the end of the world, though. Scott was flying later that night as well. He, of course, was going to Dallas and not New Mexico to see his parents, who were still miffed that he hadn't seen them while he was in Dallas during the tour.

In Scott's defense, he was on drugs, and he didn't want to face his parents because it would be the first time he would have seen them since the divorce. He hadn't wanted to face his mother then, and he still didn't, but he had to face them, sooner or later. He was hoping Charlie wouldn't be there, but knowing his brother, he probably was. Scott wondered if Lenora was gonna be there. She'd be the only person to defend him. Maybe his dad. Probably not. 

His flight was in another two hours, but it was a private plane, so Scott didn't mind taking his sweet time. It was a good thing David had left on his own because probably would have had to kick him out in another few minutes anyway. 

He finished his blunt, threw out the stub, and then showered. Showering stoned was weird. Everything was funnier when he was high on cannabis. He spent half the time laughing at the bar of soap in his hand, which seemed to sprout little arms and legs. 

After the bar of soap seemed to drop and walk away, Scott got out of the shower and changed. He decided to wear a dark green western shirt and Wrangler jeans, priest clothes compared to what he wore on stage. He grabbed his wallet and a small suitcase and then left the hotel room. He didn't check out from the hotel, as he planned to stay there when he flew back. He'd look for apartments after. 

The flight was quiet. He just slept the whole time. The other thing about weed: It made Scott really tired. By the time he landed, he had slept off any other effects, meaning he wouldn't show up high to dinner and not further disappoint his mother even more. 

He rented a 1974 Fiat 124 Spider just because he could. It was red, shiny, and a convertible. It was nice to drive with the top down in the hot Texas weather. There was not a cloud in the sky, and you could feel the hot air around you. Scott was grateful for the wind produced while he drove and the a/c blasting. 

Celestion hadn't changed since Scott was a little boy, except when they added a third barn for cattle. It was the jewel of the county and the small town that neighbored it. People had looked up to the head of the family since the 1890s. Scott sometimes wondered if Charlie would be up to that task when it was bestowed on him. Scott doubted it. 

It was already seven when Scott pulled up at the gates. All the workers would have left by then. The only time they worked over five was during the spring, when calves and foals were being born. It was quiet, except for an occasional animal noise in the distance. 

Scott parked his rented car on the dirt road and walked the rest of the way up. He had a pit in his stomach. He was nervous. 

Come on, dickwad, Scott thought. You can face tens of thousands of people a night. You can fucking face your family.

There was someone on the porch of the house, sitting in one of the rocking chairs. They stood up, and Scott could see it was a woman with long yellow-blonde hair. Lenora. She was holding who Scott assumed was Kyle. 

When he got closer, she walked toward him. “Hey.”

Scott nodded. “Didn't think you'd be here.”

Lenora shrugged. 

“You and Charlie aren't divorcing?”

She rubbed her son's head. Scott saw he was sleeping. “No, we're not.”

“Why?”

“One, your mother would have a stroke if her other child also divorced, and two, it would make inheritance a lot more complicated.”

“That's it?” Scott raised a brow. “You're going to stay with my asshole brother because of money?”

Lenora sighed. “As much as I hate what he's done, and I hate myself for saying this, but I still love him.”

“You deserve better.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, you do.”

“To think you're the same person who regularly called me a cunt and a bitch.”

Scott smirked. “I was an asshole, wasn't I?”

“Yeah, you were.” She adjusted Kyle in her arms. “But don't worry, Charlie is going to be on the road to forgiveness for a very long time.”

“He agreed to that?”

“Well, it was either that or I would tell your parents all the bad shit he’s ever done, and he'd never see Kyle again.”

“I knew there was a catch.”

Lenora rolled her eyes. “What about Beth? You gonna make her do something?”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “I know how guilty she feels, and I cheated first, so.”

Lenora looked down. “You know, this ain't the first time he cheated.”

Scott cocked his head in surprise. 

“It was while we were engaged. I found a pair of panties that weren't mine.”

“Did you confront him?”

She shook her head. “I naively assumed it was from an older relationship. The proof was right there, and I ignored it. Who knows how many times he's cheated?”

Scott frowned. "And you still fucking love him?"

“Love sucks. It makes you blind and forgiving. But he won't do it again.”

“You sure?”

Lenora looked serious. “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“Well, if you ever need anything, just ask.”

Lenora nodded. “Ready to face the music?”

“Fuck no.”

She chuckled.

Scott followed her up the porch stairs and into the house. It was quiet and had an unwelcoming feeling to it. Almost like the house knew what Scott had done. Flora, one of his girlfriends in high school, had told him she didn't like going to his house because it felt creepy. He was starting to agree with her now.

Lenora, still carrying Kyle, silently went up the stairs, leaving Scott alone. He could hear voices coming from the living room, but Scott wasn't sure if he wanted to go in there just yet. He shoved his hands in his pockets, preparing to enter the living room. 

Lenora came back down the stairs without Kyle. “Put him to bed.”

Scott nodded.

“Wanna go in together?”

“Yeah.”

Scott followed Lenora into the living room where his parents and Charlie were. Claire had new glasses since the last time Scott saw her. They were thin and orange.

“Look who's here,” Lenora announced.

Everyone turned to the two of them.

William grinned. “Well, hello there.”

Scott smiled. “Hi, Dad,” he greeted as his father hugged him. 

Charlie shot him a dirty look, but then he smiled. “Long time no see, baby bro.”

I want to fucking murder you, he thought to himself. “Yeah.”

"Aren't you going to greet your mother?" Claire asked.

Scott almost said no out loud. “Hello,” he said, kissing her cheek. She didn't return the kiss. 

She clapped her hands. “Well, now that everyone is here, we can sit for dinner.”

“It's already ready?”

Claire nodded. “Yes, we were waiting for you.”

Scott swallowed.

His parents left the room. 

Charlie looked at him. “Hey, dickbag.”

“How is you cheating my fault?”

Charlie glanced at Lenora, who was glaring at him. He gulped. “Sorry.”

Lenora left the room, and they followed her.

The dining room table already had the food on it, just waiting. The table was smaller than it usually was, leaving only six places. Claire and William were already sitting at the heads of the table. Scott sat down next to his father while Charlie sat on the other side closer to their mother. Lenora sat between Charlie and William. 

Scott stared at the table. Claire was using her second-best china. 

“Now, before we eat, let us give thanks,” William boomed. Scott had forgotten how thick his Texas drawl was.

Everyone grabbed hands except for Claire and Scott, who were too far apart. 

William bowed his head and closed his eyes. “Lord, we ask you to bless this wonderful food and that we may always have delicious food on this table. We ask you to bless our family, our cattle, our horses, our workers, and all those who are less fortunate than us. Amen.”

“Amen,” everyone else repeated except Scott.

William served himself food first, then Claire, then Charlie, then Lenora. It was traditional for their family. Youngest got served last unless it was their birthday. Or they were guests.

Scott served himself a bit of broccoli and a small chicken breast. 

“Why aren't you giving yourself a larger serving?” Claire asked when she noticed. 

“I had a late lunch,” Scott lied. In truth, he just wasn't hungry, but his mother went apeshit whenever someone said that at dinner. 

Claire pursed her lips. “I see.”

“Did you drive here straight from the airport?” Lenora asked, changing subjects.

Scott flashed her a grateful look. “Uh, yeah. As soon as I rented a car, I drove here. Traffic was a bit worse than I expected, hence why I was a little bit late.”

William took a sip of his wine. “And you flew from LA?”

“No, sir. From New York City. I plan on moving there after I sell the house in Long Beach.”

Claire frowned. “Why are you selling the house? It's such a nice place.”

“Why would I still want to live in the house I bought for my ex-wife?”

“Well, it wouldn't be your ex-wife if you had worked out your problems.”

Scott groaned. “I'm not arguing about this again with you. Beth can barely stand me. I was fucking lucky to even have partial custody of Rosie. The divorce got finalized last month anyway. Too late to do anything.”

“Watch your mouth,” the older woman warned.

Scott scoffed.

William slammed his hand on the table. “I will not have this kind of talk at the dinner table.”

“Yes, sir,” Scott muttered. 

The table was silent.

“How was the tour?” Lenora asked, breaking the ice once again.

“Exhausting but worth it. Getting to see the world and to meet so many people, it's an experience, to say the least.” Scott genuinely meant that. 

“Some of the stuff you wear on stage is an experience,” Charlie mumbled under his breath. 

“He does have a point,” William said. “It’s... a bit… much.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, glam rock will be dead by next year.” Scott rolled his shoulders back. “It's just for shock value.” He chose not to add that he thought he looked hot wearing eyeshadow and eyeliner. 

“At least get a haircut. Your hair is past your shoulders.”

“I like my hair long.”

“Only women have long hair.”

“Mother’s hair is short.”

William didn't reply. 

“Don't you dare talk back to your father! I don't care if you're 24,” Claire suddenly yelled. It startled everyone.

“Claire, it's fi-”

“No, it is not! I will not tolerate your refusal to adhere to authority. You have been like this since you were a child. I'm sick of it.”

“How would you know? You barely even spoke to me as a child,” Scott fired back. 

Everyone else at the table was quiet, watching the argument begin to unfold. Scott knew if he took it further, he'd probably end up in hot water. 

“Excuse me?”

He sighed. What he wanted to say was not a good idea. “I'm not arguing with you. You'll just make it all about yourself and then guilt-trip me.”

Claire gasped. “I do not do that.”

Lenora leaned her head. You do.

“And what? You don’t?” Charlie asked, diving into the argument.

Saying what he wanted to say started to sound much nicer. “Remind me again, who did you cheat on Lenora with?”

“You did what?” William yelled.

Charlie glared at his brother.

“Oh right, my fucking wife.”

The table was dead silent. Lenora stared at Scott. She looked angry. 

“Well, in Beth's defense, I cheated first, and Charlie took advantage of her emotional state.” He pointed to Lenora. “Only reason why she's staying with him is that they didn't want y'all to have a heart attack, and she unfortunately still loves him.” Scott stood up. “Charlie's actually a dick, but you two would never notice anything bad about your darling boy.” He walked towards the hallway. “And before Charlie tells you guys this, and I know he will because I know he knows, I'm a fucking fag. See why we got divorced, Claire?”

“You're a what?” William repeated.

Claire looked disgusted.

“I am a homosexual, Dad. I'm gay. I like having sex with the male population.” He laughed. “And I don't give a fuck if you disown me or cut me out of the will because I'll be richer than you are in just a few more years. Oh yeah, that also means you'll never see your granddaughter again.” Scott turned around and walked away. He knew he was gonna pay for it, but twenty years' worth of stress had left his shoulders. 

He could hear his parents yelling his name, but he didn't turn back. He opened the front left, slamming it as loud as he could. Scott almost ran to his rented car and drove off. He didn't notice the tears sliding off his face.

He finally stopped at a gas station. He went to the payphone and dialed Beth's number. He wanted to see Rosie.

“Hello?” Beth's voice asked.

“It's Scott.”

“Oh.”

Scott could hear her stiffen.

“I wanna see Rosie. I'm in Texas. I don't mind driving.”

Beth sighed loudly. “You sound weird. Are you high?”

“No. I think I just got disowned.”

“You told your parents?”

He nodded. “Yes. I left before they could reply. Reaction probably would be worse than yours.”

Beth remained silent. 

“Please, can I see her?” Scott whispered.

Beth sighed again, her voice stiff. “If you wanna see her, get a drug test and show me the result. Would it be negative right now?”

He didn't answer.

“I'm sorry, but the answer's no, Scott.”

“I'm sorry for calling,” he muttered before hanging up. 

He stared at the phone booth. He had just cut off his whole family within an hour. The regret was starting to sink in. He had no paternal or maternal figures to talk to now. Well, not that he really did to begin with. 

Scott put another three nickels in and dialed Darlene's number.

“Who is this?”

“I need to go to rehab.”

Darlene swallowed loudly. “Okay, Scott.”

 

 

 

NOTE: Hi, I forgot to add the list of tour dates for Scott's 1975 tour. Here they are 1975 Tour

Notes:

sorry 👉🏻👈🏻

Chapter 82: The Beginnings of a New Era (Voll II, Part II)

Summary:

Benjamin starts kindergarten, and Beth finds herself a bit more accepting after a phone call

Notes:

greetings besties, i've started fall break, so i plan to get some writing done (I literally only have five and a half more chapters to write ahhh) (and college stuff)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 82: The Beginnings of a New Era

 

Monday, August 25th, 1975, Pasadena, California



Ronnie's alarm went off, telling him to rise and get out of bed. He opened his eyes and sighed. He had already been up for a while, but he didn't want to get out of bed. It was Monday. The start of the new week.

But it wasn't just Monday. Today was a very big day for Benjamin. Today was Benjamin's first day of kindergarten. 

The door slammed open, and Benjamin came bouncing in, Toby behind him, wagging his tail. “TIME FOR SCHOOL!”

Ronnie groaned. “Why are you awake?”

“I'm so excited!”

Ronnie rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Okay, but let me get dressed first. Go brush your teeth.”

“Okay!” Benjamin cheered, running out of the room.

Toby stayed put.

“You too,” Ronnie said, pointing towards his door.

Toby whimpered, but he went out of the room too. 

Ronnie pulled the covers off of him and got up. He closed the door and went into the bathroom to do his business and brush his own teeth. He changed into an undershirt and put on his grey mechanic uniform. His name was embroidered on the left side.

Benjamin was sitting at the table, spoon in his hand, eyeing Ronnie. “Cocoa Puffs.”

“Well, excuse you.”

“Please?” Benjamin added.

Ronnie sniggered. “Okay, okay.”

“Can I pour the milk?” he asked as Ronnie grabbed the cereal box from the cabinet.

“No, you'll spill it.”

“But I'll be super careful.”

“The jug's heavy, and I don't want you to get milk on the clothes I just bought you.”

Benjamin looked at his brand-new shirt and green overalls. “Okay.”

Ronnie handed his son the cereal box, grabbed the milk jug from the fridge, and put fresh water in the coffee pot. He had been drinking more coffee lately. He used to drink it all the time because of the early hours at Mr. Gilman's ranch, but now he drank it to curb his insomnia. He knew it was bad to make himself so tired to the point that he would literally pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow, but he didn't have nightmares when he was that exhausted. 

Ronnie poured the milk into Benjamin's bowl carefully and sat down next to him. “You excited?”

“Yup!” Benjamin cheered with a mouth full of Cocoa Puffs.

Ronnie smirked. He was glad Benjamin was excited about school. “So, I'm gonna take you to the elementary school, okay?”

Benjamin nodded.

“I'll walk you into the school, but I don't think I'll have time to meet your teacher. The letter the school sent said you're in room 23. Got it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then, you're gonna take the bus home. The bus number is 373. Do you think you'll be able to remember that?”

Benjamin shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Well, that's okay because your teacher will show you where to go. When you get home, Mrs. Kane will get you from the bus stop. She has a spare key, so she'll watch you and Toby until I come home from work.”

“Why can't you come home from work earlier?”

“Because If I don't work enough hours, we won't have enough money for the month.”

“Why?”

Ronnie sighed. Why did this kid like to ask so many questions? “Our socioeconomic standing is not very high. Means if I don't work long hours, we will have no money.”

“Are we poor, Daddy?”

God, this kid was asking too many existential questions. “We are... not too poor, but we ain't lower middle class either. We're like richer poor people.” Doesn't fucking help we live in the most expensive state, he added silently.

“How come?”

“Life sucks.”

Benjamin contemplated this for a moment. “But at least we have Toby.”

Ronnie laughed and glanced at their dog. “That is true.”

When Benjamin was all ready to go, Ronnie took some pictures. Benjamin complained, but Ronnie knew Mary would kill him if he didn't. She had yelled and complained for a good twenty minutes when Ronnie hadn't taken pictures for Benjamin's preschool graduation. 

The car ride was mostly silent, other than Benjamin singing along to the songs on the radio. Ronnie was contemplating the new era. Benjamin was starting school. His oldest was in elementary school. It hadn't felt like five years had passed, but it had. It made Ronnie feel older than he actually was. His son was in kindergarten, and he was halfway through his twenties.

The elementary school was brand new, located in a wealthier neighborhood. It had outdoor hallways, and the classrooms were separated into long buildings. Ronnie found it odd, but he assumed it was because California didn't have Nebraska winters and wasn't located in Tornado Alley.

It was crowded, with parents and children everywhere. It reminded him why Ronnie had hated picking up Shannon from school when he was younger. He parked the car and turned to Benjamin. “Ready?”

Benjamin nodded. “Let's go!”

“Hold your horses,” he muttered, getting out of the car.

Benjamin opened his car door and slammed it behind him, holding the straps of his backpack, which was almost as big as him.

Ronnie grabbed his son's hand and led him toward the entrance of the school. They walked past parents hugging and waving their kids goodbye. Some of them were crying.

You are going to see them in less than 8 hours. Why are you crying? Ronnie thought.

Ronnie took Benjamin to the end of the hall near his classroom. He knelt on one knee. “You're gonna be okay, right? And forget to tell your teacher you’re on the free lunch program.” Ronnie was glad Benjamin qualified, but it also was a reminder that they were not well off.

Benjamin nodded. “I'll miss you.”

Ronnie smiled sadly. “Me too.” He brought his son into a tight embrace. "I love you."

“I love you too, Daddy.”

Ronnie could feel a lump building up in his throat. And he had just judged people for crying too. Karma. “Have a good day, kiddo.”

Benjamin let go of his father. “I will!”

Ronnie stood back up and choked back any urge he had to cry. He waved as Benjamin went off to his classroom. Benjamin didn't even look back. 

He chuckled and turned around, leaving the school. He had only gotten a few calls from the teacher while Benjamin was in pre-k, so he wasn't worried about his behavior. Ronnie got into his car and drove to work, where oil changes and tires awaited him. 

 

***

 

“So, tell me everything that happened,” Ronnie said, letting himself and Benjamin into their apartment.

Toby wagged his tail and barked, excited to see both of them.

“It was GREAT!” Benjamin shouted, dumping his backpack on the living room floor. 

Ronnie smiled. “That's good.” He pointed to Toby. “Can you let him outside?”

Benjamin opened the sliding door that led to the tiny backyard. Ronnie felt bad for Toby since the yard wasn't even a yard, so he tried taking him and Benjamin to the park on the weekends. They usually just ran around, but Ronnie was trying to get Benjamin into basketball. Whenever Toby did his business, Ronnie would have to go pick it up with a trash bag. He missed having an actual yard. 

Ronnie went into his room, changed out of his work clothes, and put on some old cutoff shorts. He made a mental note to go to the laundromat during his lunch break the next day. He came back out just as Benjamin was letting Toby back inside. 

Benjamin began to tell Ronnie all about his first day of school while he fixed both of them PBJs. 

“Better call Mamó,” Ronnie mused, handing the kid a sandwich. 

Benjamin nodded. “Can I talk to Mamó first?”

He nodded. “Sure.”

Ronnie rang up his mother's number and handed the phone to Benjamin, who started blabbing off to his grandmother. 

He lit a cigarette at the kitchen table and cracked his neck. He tried avoiding smoking around Benjamin, but the workday had been long, and Ronnie needed some stress relief. It was that, or he popped open a bottle of something. He probably would anyway, but he wanted to try to wait until Benjamin went to bed. Nguyệt was staring at him in the kitchen anyway. 

“Daddy?”

Ronnie looked up. “Yeah?”

Mamó wants to talk to you.”

Ronnie put out his cigarette and went over. “Hiya, Mom.”

“You took pictures?” Mary sounded demanding.

Ronnie chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I did. Some with his backpack on, some without, and one with Toby.”

“Benjamin sounded very happy about school.”

He agreed. “He is. I'm glad too. Makes my life a whole lot easier.”

“You were so stubborn when it came to school. Used to fake sickness all the time.”

Ronnie laughed. “I remember.” He rolled his shoulders. “How's Valentina and August?”

“Valentina is putting August to bed right now. August stood up today without any help.”

Ronnie grinned. “Already?”

“I was surprised too.”

 “Can you tell Valentina I have said and continued the way of uz redzēšanos?”

“What does that mean?”

Ronnie snickered. “It’s an inside joke. She'll get it.”

Mary sighed, and Ronnie knew she was rolling her eyes. “Can I ask ye something?” Mary then asked seriously. 

“What’s up?”

“Are you and Beth okay?”

Ronnie swallowed. “Why?”

“I was on the phone with her last week, and she sounded frustrated when I mentioned your name. I've also noticed that you don't even mention her.”

He signed and sat down on the couch. “Beth and I aren't on speaking terms.”

Mary was quiet. “...What happened?”

Ronnie sat there, trying to think of a story that was at least partially true. “I don't really wanna get into it, but basically Beth, Scott, and me got into a real bad argument. More or less, I sided with Scott, but he's not talking to me either.”

Mary sighed loudly. “That's the worst I can think of for a mother. Her children don't like each other.”

“Mom, it wasn't just one person, all of us were at fault. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“I hope all of you can be friends again.”

Ronnie nodded, thinking about Scott. “I do too.”

 

Sugar Land, Texas

 

The phone rang loudly, waking Beth from a catnap. She rubbed her eyes and went over to the kitchen, where the phone was. 

“Hello?”

“Hi,” Scott breathed.

Beth frowned. She hadn't heard from Scott since he had erratically called her in July. This month's child support check hadn’t arrived yet, but he usually called when it arrived, hoping to talk to Rosie anyway.

“Isn't it late over in New York?”

“Yeah, but I wasn't sure what time you get off work.”

“Huh.”

“I wanted to call and ask when would be the best time for me to see Rosie?”

Beth sighed. "You know the deal, Scott."

“I'm just out of rehab.”

Beth was surprised. “You are?”

“Didn't you see? It made the news.”

“I don't check gossip.”

“Beth, I'm clean. I swear. You can ask Darlene, my label, my friends. I've been sober for 34 days. I just got the tokens from AA and NA.”

Beth almost smiled. He actually cleaned up his act. He was serious about being in Rosie's life and not just a drunk figure from afar. "Good." 

Beth could tell he was sober. He sounded composed and stable. She had hated him at the beginning of the year, but now they spoke like old friends who had drifted apart. She found herself able to forgive him. 

They talked for a little bit. It was formal, but Beth found it was nice that they were speaking to each other like human beings. They agreed to meet in Houston on a Saturday next month. He would stay in a hotel nearby. Scott would get what he had been asking for months: he'd see his daughter. 

Notes:

watched the new interview with the vampire tv show and it ATE like I loved it also bc my beta reader and I are like ironically/unironically obsessed with the 1994 movie so yeah... she's the louis to my lestat 👍🏻

Note: Upon thinking about it, it wouldn't make sense for Scott to have been raised Methodist as he's German American, so I've changed it to where it says he was raised Lutheran.

Chapter 83: The Father and His Daughter (Vol II, Part II)

Summary:

Scott, fresh out of rehab, sees his daughter after six months

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 83: The Father and His Daughter 

 

Friday, September 12th, 1975, Houston, Texas



Scott got out of the plane as fast as he could. He then sped over to baggage claim, where Beth and Rosie would be waiting for him. Rosie. He was going to see Rosie after six long months. 

He was so excited that he could barely contain it. He probably looked weird, walking so fast. He hoped people didn't recognize him while he was wearing a ball cap and sunglasses. 

When he got to the baggage claim, he spotted a short blonde woman holding a baby in her arms. He smiled. Rosie. Next to them was a brown-haired man that Scott didn't recognize. Who was that?

He waved over at them, and Beth waved back. He walked over, slowing his pace so he didn't look crazy. 

“Hello,” he greeted, nodding with a smile.

Beth smiled back, but it was an awkward one. Scott felt the same way.

She gestured to Rosie in her arms.

“Can I hold her?” Scott asked quietly.

Beth handed Rosie to Scott, who held her gingerly. Rosie had grown since the last time he saw her. Her head was now covered in dirty blonde hair, and her grey eyes had only gotten bigger. She looked up at her father and smiled, babbling. Scott forced himself to swallow a cry. 

He looked at her a little longer before remembering Beth and the man next to her. “Oh, I'm sorry,” he apologized, glancing at the man. He looked familiar.

“It's fine, I understand,” the green-eyed man replied.

“This is Laurie Alders,” Beth said. 

They shook hands.

“Alders... you're Ronnie's friend, right?”

Laurie nodded. “Yeah, we met Christmas '72.”

“Thought I recognized you.”

Laurie smiled.

Beth grabbed Laurie's hand. Scott saw it. She wasn't making eye contact with him.

“You're not gonna hurt my feelings if y'all are dating.”

“That obvious?”

“Well, she's holding your hand and not looking at me.” 

Beth blushed slightly. “Ready to go?”

Scott glanced at Rosie, who was sucking her thumb. “Yup.”

“Follow us,” she muttered, turning around and leaving the baggage claim. 

Scott followed them.

Being around Beth hadn't been as awkward as Scott thought it would have been. Any ill will he had against her was gone. Sure, it was still weird, but it felt more normal than their last four months of marriage had been.

The church had officially annulled their marriage a week after Scott got out of rehab. Beth might be more relaxed because of that. She was free to remarry in her church now. Totally had nothing to do with the large donation Scott made. 

Scott hadn't liked rehab much. They weaned him down using methadone, and he was forced to do group therapy with other people. Maybe forcing people to talk about their feelings in a circle is what made him want to be sober. The sooner he was, the sooner he got out of there. But in all seriousness, Scott was proud of his sobriety. True, he wasn't sure how long it'd last, but he didn't have to worry about that now. 

They arrived at the car, which Scott was Laurie since he got in the driver's seat. Beth took Scott's bag and put it in the trunk. She opened the car door for him since he was holding Rosie.

“Thanks.”

She nodded before sitting in the passenger seat next to Laurie. 

“What's the plan?” Scott asked, trying to buckle the seat belt over him and Rosie, who was sitting on his lap.

“We'll have dinner at my place, and then Laurie will drive you to your hotel. Then we'll meet up back at my apartment tomorrow morning.”

He nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

Laurie pulled out of the parking space and drove out of the parking lot. The sun was beginning to set, and Rosie fell asleep in Scott's lap. He took off his sunglasses and hat and stared out the window, looking at the city passing by them. It was weird that Dallas and Houston were in the same state, but they had completely different vibes. 

They pulled into Beth's apartment complex, three expensive-looking buildings Scott knew weren't covered by Beth's monthly salary. Her apartment itself was nice too. It was large and carefully decorated. It reminded Scott of their old house, but minus any aspects that Scott had and ten times more Christian. (He had so far counted five crosses.)

Rosie woke up right when Beth took her from Scott's arms. She started crying, reminding Scott of those wonderful first few months with her. Beth just put her in the highchair with a bottle.

Beth hadn't made dinner. Scott wondered if it was because he was the guest. They ordered Mexican food, which arrived while Scott was attempting to feed Rosie mashed peas. Rosie was making a mess with the food, but Scott didn't care. He was feeding his daughter. 

Laurie was nice enough, but Scott could feel the tension at the dinner table. Being the gay ex-husband was not helping. He wondered if Beth had told him the truth. Probably only the bad stuff about Scott and nothing about her. 

Scott volunteered to do any dishes and put away the food. He wasn't sure if he was doing it to prove to Beth that he was a good person or if he genuinely wanted to be helpful. When he finished, Beth took Rosie to her room to bathe her and put her to bed. 

He was sad to see Rosie go, but he knew he'd see her tomorrow. Beth left, leaving him and Laurie alone. It was awkward. Laurie shoved his hands into his pant pockets and looked down at the floor.

“We should probably talk.”

Scott nodded. “Yeah, we probably should.”

Laurie walked over to the balcony door and opened it, gesturing for Scott to follow him. He did. 

Beth's balcony was large and had a nice view of Sugar Land and an orangish-pink sky. Scott could see the old sugar factory in the distance. He closed the sliding door behind him, and Laurie leaned against the black railing. He leaned against the brick wall, pulling out a cigarette from his wallet. He had smoked on the plane, but the urge was killing him now.

He grabbed his lighter and lit it. Laurie was glancing at him. “Want one?”

The shorter man shook his head. “No, I’m trying to quit. Thanks anyway.”

Scott nodded, taking the cancer stick out of his mouth and balancing it between his two fingers. “This is the one thing I refuse to quit.”

Laurie smirked, staring at the setting sun. He was quiet for a few minutes before he swallowed loudly. “Beth told me.”

Scott cocked a brow. “Told you what?”

“That you're gay.”

He looked down. “Oh.” So Beth had told him.

Laurie turned to Scott. “Look, I don't feel the same way she does. What you do behind closed doors is your business. Just don't drag it in my face.” He paused. “I feel the same way about straight couples before you say anything.”

Scott was unsure what to say. He just put his cig back in his mouth.

“My mother's older brother came out as gay to my grandparents in '49 or '50,” Laurie continued. “They disowned him. Living in the backwaters of southern Missouri didn't help. Ma was too young to do anything. He enlisted for the war in Korea along with my father... I guess to prove he wasn't just some stupid queer.” He sighed. “They both died in the Battle of Bloody Ridge. I was just a year old.”

Scott looked at him. “I'm sorry to hear that.”

He nodded. “Ma was only 18 too, but she managed to buy a house and gave me the best childhood she could.”

“She sounds like a strong woman.”

Laurie smiled. “She is.”

Scott tapped his cigarette on the rail closest to him. “I don't have a good relationship with my mom. Fuck, I don't think we even have a relationship anymore after what happened this summer.”

“Really?”

Scott nodded. “She is great at putting up this mask around other people, but when we were alone... I am the disappointment of the family.”

Laurie looked like he didn't believe him. “The rockstar's the disappoint?”

Scott laughed and nodded again. “Yeah. They adore my brother. Not only is he a veteran, but he also went to college, and he'll take over the ranch when my dad retires. My mom probably wanted a daughter and got two boys instead.” He blew out smoke. “Charlie's perfect in her eyes. I'm not. I don't even think she loves me.”

“Seriously?”

He shrugged. “Well, I think that she thinks or used to think that she loves me but not really. I've always had a bad relationship with her. It's funny. I think she was more upset about losing Beth than any of my problems.”

Laurie frowned. “What happened during the summer?”

“I told my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law that I liked to fuck men and some other unknown facts about my brother. I left before I could hear their proper reactions, but it didn't look like it'd go well. And considering I haven't heard from them since, it's probably true.” He sighed. “I'm gonna miss Mary. She treated me like a son more than my mother ever did. Not a burden, a toy, or a disappointment.” Scott choked back a cry and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry.”

“It's fine,” Laurie replied gently.

Scott got off the wall and moved to lean on the rail. “How much did Beth tell you?”

Laurie sighed and looked at him. “Everything.”

“Everything?”

“She told me everything,” he repeated.

Scott put out his cigarette and flicked the stub over the balcony. “Fuck. I'm surprised that you're not revolted in my presence.”

Laurie leaned his head. “Well, she wasn't an angel in that either.”

“She told you about her and my brother?”

He nodded.

“Wow, she did say everything,” he mused, more to himself.

Laurie sat on the rail next to him.

“Must have been shocking to learn something like that about your best friend.”

“It was hard. I was shocked, but I also realized that I don't know Ronnie anymore. I don't know what he's doing, what his personal life is like, or... I would have never guessed that about him.”

“He's not gay,” Scott answered, thinking about all the times he'd fuck his female groupies. God, he missed that whore. “Bisexual probably, not gay. He definitely still likes pussy.”

Laurie nodded and smiled sadly. “I used to be able to read him like a book, but now... we what? Only call each other on holidays and birthdays? It was gradual too. We used to call every week, then it was every month, but we had been drifting apart for a while. It wasn't when he got discharged or anything, it was already happening in 'Nam. We were both busy, and his free time was spent with Nguyệt and then Benjamin.” He frowned. “But that's life for ya. You probably know him way better than I do now.”

Scott shrugged. “I haven't seen him since January. I don't know if I ever will again.” He tried not to look devastated.

Laurie didn't reply.

He swallowed and glanced inside, where Beth was standing by the counter, clearly pretending she wasn't looking at the two of them. “But that's life for ya,” he repeated.

Notes:

i was rereading all the young dudes (wolfstar fic) when i learned that the actor who played hagrid died :|

Chapter 84: Alone (Voll II, Part II)

Summary:

Ronnie deals with work-related stress and feeling alone, having a conversation he was hoping to avoid with Benjamin. Laurie calls Ronnie and breaks the news.

CW: Discussion of period-typical racism (kids can be shitheads, and ronnie does not know how to talk about that), some alcohol abuse,

Notes:

last chapter of volume two part two!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 84: Alone

 

Saturday, December 6th, 1975, Sequoia National Forest, California



“Wow! Daddy, look how big this tree is!” Benjamin exclaimed.

Ronnie nodded, staring at the tree in front of them. 

Ever since Benjamin had learned about Sequoias, he had begged Ronnie to take him there. Ronnie had hesitated mainly because of the four and a half hour drive, but today, Ronnie woke Benjamin up at four in the morning to drive there. Benjamin fell back asleep in the car, so he was more than surprised when he woke up driving under the tree tunnel. 

Toby was just as excited as Benjamin. He kept barking and wagging his tail, trying to loosen Ronnie's grip on his leash. Ronnie knew he wouldn't run off, but he didn't want him to get overexcited. 

“Daddy, look at this one!” Benjamin yelled, pointing to a tree that had fallen over. 

“Want me to take a picture?”

“Yes, please. Can Toby be in the picture too?”

Ronnie handed Benjamin Toby's leash. He ran over to the fallen trunk and gave Ronnie a big smile. He had lost one of his front teeth, leaving a little gap in his mouth. Ronnie thought he looked adorable. He snapped a picture. 

“Now what?” Ronnie asked when Benjamin came back over.

Benjamin took the map Ronnie was holding and intensely studied it for a few minutes. He then pointed to the entrance of a trail. “That way!”

Ronnie gestured forward. “Lead the way.” He could tell Benjamin enjoyed “being in charge.”

With Toby by his side, Benjamin walked toward the trail, Ronnie following them. 

The last two months had been stressful. Ronnie had been let go from his job as a projectionist in late September. That job had been to pay for the money he sent to Valentina. The budget had tightened as a result, and Ronnie didn't even bother going out for drinks with Bobby anymore. He just told him to come over. 

The upside was that he got to spend more time with Benjamin, now that he had the whole weekend and Thursday afternoon with him. He was grateful that Abbie or even Elna didn't mind watching Benjamin in the afternoons for free. 

He used Thursdays to look for other jobs. Ronnie wanted out of the car industry. He was sick of it and its low pay. It was difficult finding other jobs without any other experience or a college degree, though. He loved being poor. 

The trail was long, and by the time they got back to the main picnic area, Benjamin was hungry. Ronnie was glad he packed lunch. They sat at a picnic table, and Ronnie pulled out the sandwiches he had made the night before from the backpack. 

“PBJ for Benjamin and two BLTs for me.”

“Why do you get two sandwiches?”

“Because I'm taller. When you're as tall as me, you can have two sandwiches.”

Benjamin crossed his arms. “But you're taller than everyone.”

Ronnie snickered. 

Toby put his head on Ronnie's lap, begging for food.

Ronnie came prepared for this. He pulled out dog treats he had bought yesterday. “Want some?”

Toby barked happily.

“Sit.”

Toby sat.

“Shake?”

Toby put his paw on Ronnie's leg.

“What about roll over?” Benjamin offered.

“Can you roll over?”

Toby rolled over.

Ronnie smiled and dumped the whole bag on the ground. “Good boy.”

Toby barked and began eating his prizes. 

Ronnie ate his sandwiches quickly, but Benjamin took his time. He loved PBJs and insisted that they have them for Christmas dinner. He was sad when Ronnie said no. 

Ronnie glanced at his watch just as Benjamin took his last bite. 1:23. He glanced at his son. “We have to get going soon.”

Benjamin frowned. “Why?”

“Because if we don't leave now, it'll be nighttime by the time we're home.”

Benjamin frowned. “California is too long.”

“I agree.”

Toby sat in the passenger seat while Benjamin sat in the back. Nguyệt was sitting next to him, but Ronnie was continuing his campaign of ignoring her. The few 30 minutes were silent, with everyone looking at the view outside. 

“So... how's school?” Ronnie asked, turning down the radio.

“It's fun.”

He smiled. “You like it then?”

Benjamin nodded.

“I used to feel that way,” he muttered. “Then I started second grade. What's your favorite part of school?”

“RECESS!”

Ronnie smiled while Toby barked in reply. “That was my favorite too. What about friends?”

Benjamin nodded again.

“What are their names?”

Benjamin started listing them off his fingers. “Uh... Joel, Neil, Alicia, and Kimmie. Kimmie can speak Vietnamese too, and we also both have Nguyen in our names.”

“Really? She's Vietnamese?”

“Uh-huh.”

“That's good that there's other Vietnamese kids in your school. I was worried that there wasn't.”

“Can we have a playdate?”

Ronnie nodded. “Sure, why not?”

We should speak Vietnamese more,” Benjamin said, switching languages.

We should. It's good practice,” he replied before swallowing and switching back to English. “Is there... anyone who's mean to you?”

The boy shrugged. “Some older kids on the bus call me Ching-Chong Yellow Face.”

Ronnie's grip tightened on the wheel. “They call you fucking what?”

“But I'm not yellow,” he protested. “I'm tan.”

Ronnie sighed, trying to think of something to say.

“Is that bad?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that's bad.”

Benjamin was confused. “Why?”

Ronnie collected his thoughts. “Well, some people call people from Asia yellow face, especially people from China and Japan. It’s not nice.”

Benjamin looked confused. “But I'm not from those places.”

“I know.”

“What about Ching-Chong?”

“It's making fun of the Chinese language. It doesn't actually sound like that.”

“But I'm not Chinese,” Benjamin disputed. 

“I know.”

He frowned. “Then why are they calling me that?”

Ronnie gulped. “Some people think that they are better than someone else because they have a different skin color. It's called racism, and it tends to come from white people, especially here.”

“White people?”

Ronnie rubbed under his eye. “Like me, for example, my skin is pale.”

“But it's pinkish-white.”

“I know, believe me. The term white is a generalization.”

“What does that mean?”

“Grouping a bunch of people together and assuming something about them,” he answered.

Benjamin nodded. “Why do they think being white is better?”

Ronnie shrugged. “You got me there.”

Benjamin frowned. “Is it bad that I'm tan?”

Ronnie immediately pulled over into a siding and turned to face his son. “No, no, no. Skin color doesn't matter, okay?”

He nodded, surprised that his father pulled over. “Why are people different colors?”

“Well, it depends where their family is from. Mamó is from Ireland, and the people in Ireland are white. That's why I'm white.” He paused for a second. “...Do you remember Lola?”

“No.”

“Well, you know Mr. Bobby?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, his family is originally from Africa, so that's why he's black and has different hair than me and you.”

“But he's not black, he's brown.”

“It's another one of those generalizations,” he explained, raising his hands. “And your mommy was Vietnamese, and that's why you're tan.”

Benjamin rubbed his nose. “But that means I'm also white because you're white.”

Ronnie smirked and nodded. “Yeah, you are, you smart cookie. The term when your parents are different colors is called biracial or for you, half-white.”

“Why don't I look like you?”

Ronnie genuinely did not know the answer to that. “...I don't know, honestly. Maybe we can ask your doctor next time.”

“Okay.” Benjamin started to look out the window again.

Ronnie grabbed his son's hand. “Hey, look at me. We both have ten fingers and ten toes, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And two eyes, ears, a mouth, and a nose, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then we're pretty much the same except for a few differences.”

He smiled. “We are. Then why do the mean people not think that?”

“Because they are dummies,” Ronnie replied. 

Benjamin giggled. 

“But don't say that to them.” Ronnie turned back around. “On Monday, I'll come with you to the bus stop, and I'll talk to their parents.”

“You are a great daddy.”

Ronnie chuckled as he pulled out of the siding. “That makes me very happy that you think so.”

“I love you.”

“I love you even more.”

Nguyệt was still there, not doing anything, but her presence made Ronnie feel even more uncomfortable explaining why kids were racist to him. 

Benjamin was asleep when they got home, so Ronnie had to carry him into the house. But as soon as he put him in his bed, Benjamin opened his eyes and told Ronnie he was thirsty. Kids.

Both of them showered and changed into their pajamas since they weren't going anywhere. Ronnie opened his bedroom door to find Benjamin staring at him, his hair wet and plastered to his face. He needed a haircut.

“Can you play with me?”

“Sure.” He followed his son to his little bedroom and sat on the carpet floor. 

Benjamin didn't have as many toys as Ronnie would have liked him to. It was expensive, and Ronnie needed the money for other things. Most of Benjamin's toys were from birthdays or Christmas presents from other people. 

“Here,” he said, handing Ronnie Angie the fox, his second favorite stuffed animal after Duck the cat. 

“Thank you.”

Benjamin grabbed Duck and started talking to Angie in a high-pitched voice.

Ronnie laughed.

Benjamin had an elaborate plot with Duck and Angie, involving his Tonka truck and Toby. Ronnie found it humorous. He would have never come up with shit like that when he was his age. 

“Daddy?” Benjamin asked after a while, setting Duck down.

“Yeah?”

“Are you coming to the Christmas party?”

Ronnie swallowed. “When is it?”

“On the 18th.”

He frowned. “I have a job interview that day. I'm sorry.”

Benjamin crossed his arms, annoyed. “You never come to school.”

“If I get that job, I'll be able to be more involved, okay?”

“Pinky promise?”

Ronnie held out his pinky finger. “I promise.”

Benjamin nodded, content. “Okay.”

He stretched his arms. “Is your teacher nice?”

Benjamin nodded again. “She's very nice and pretty.”

Ronnie smiled. “Miss Parker, right?”

“Yup.”

“My first girlfriend's last name was Parker. It's a common one, though,” he remarked. “I'm kinda amazed how we haven't run into each other yet whenever you and I visit home during the holidays. Maybe fate wants us to never see each other again.”

Benjamin just blinked. “I'm hungry.”

“Hi hungry, I'm Dad.”

He scowled.

Ronnie chuckled. “What do you want?”

“PIZZA!” He shouted, jumping up from the floor.

He stood up. “Pizza it is.”

 

***

 

Ronnie got a phone call right after he put Benjamin to bed. He was stuffed, having eaten a whole box, and driving almost nine hours had made him exhausted. He lugged his way over to the phone and picked it up, wondering who was calling at 9 o'clock at night. “Hello?”

“It's Laurie.”

Ronnie sighed. “Oh, hey. How are you?”

“I'm great.”

He nodded. “That's good to hear. Any reason for calling?”

“Yeah, there is.”

Ronnie balanced the phone between his head and shoulders as he cracked his knuckles. “What's up?”

“I met up with Beth shortly after the last time we called.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we happened to run into each other while shopping.”

Ronnie heard Laurie gulp loudly.

“I'm... seeing Beth.”

Ronnie's eyes widened. “What?”

“We got real close after we first saw each other again, and I'm comforting her, and the next thing I know, we're kissing.” Laurie paused. “Been together since July, but we're taking it slow.”

Ronnie let that settle into his brain. “You're dating my sister…”

“Yeah,” he whispered. 

“I feel like I should be angry, but honestly, I don't care that much,” he admitted. “Probably cause Beth and I are at odd's end.”

“Yeah, she told me.”

Ronnie almost dropped the phone. “What'd you mean she told you?”

Laurie sighed. “I know everything, Ronnie.”

Ronnie was silent. His hands were shaking, and he could feel anger coursing through his veins. “Put me on the fucking speakerphone.”

“Ron-”

He cut him off. “Put me on the fuckin' speakerphone, man. She had no right to tell you that.” He clenched his teeth. “YOU HEAR ME BETH?! YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

“Ronnie, stop yelling,” Laurie demanded. 

He stopped yelling and sat down, laughing. “Is this why you're calling, so you can judge me?”

“No, Ronnie, it's not. I wanted to call and tell you that you're still my friend, and I agree, maybe Beth shouldn't have said everything cause that was your private life too, but I've talked to Scott-”

“You’ve seen Scott?”

“Yeah, in September and briefly when he had Rosie for Thanksgiving.”

Ronnie sighed. “How is he?”

“Sober. Went to rehab after he finished touring.”

“Oh.” Ronnie swallowed, feeling his throat close up. He hated how much he missed that stupid fuckhead. “I-I have to go, my dog's sick, and I have to make sure he ain't puking on the carpet,” he rushed out, wanting to end the conversation. 

“Ronnie,” Laurie said quietly.

“Look, if you're with my sister, and you're both happy, then whatever, okay? Good night.” Ronnie slammed the phone down and bit his trembling lip. 

He stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing the half-empty vodka bottle in the highest cabinet. He was breathing loudly as he went to his room, slammed the door, and sank to the floor. He opened the bottle and chugged it, feeling the burning taste go down his throat. 

He began to laugh quietly, feeling tears pool up. “I am so fucking alone.” He looked up and stared at Nguyệt across the room, who was sewing. “At least I still got you.”

Nguyệt looked up at him and smirked.

 

 

End of Part II

Notes:

I went to the sequoia forest when I lived in cali like a decade ago. fell in a river. it was cold. rocks were slippery.

Chapter 85: It's Been Almost Seven Years... (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie meets Benjamin’s kindergarten teacher and finds a familiar face

Notes:

start of part 3 yay!

also thank you for all the lovely comments, they mean the world to me <33

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Part III: New Beginnings

February 12th, 1976 - October 29th, 1976

 

 

Chapter 85: It's Been Almost Seven Years...

 

Thursday, February 12th, 1976, South Pasadena, California



“Oh my god, Layla, if you don't turn that shit down,”  the copper-skinned woman lamented, dropping her head near her coffee mug.

Layla paid no attention to her suffering housemate and friend. “A kindergarten teacher shouldn't be swearing,” she answered, turning her music louder.

“Fuck off.”

Mina, who was sitting next to Layla, giggled. “Oh, come on, you're just weird. Be grateful it's not Sinhalese opera.” She shuddered. “I can still hear it.”

The woman rolled her eyes. She had heard Mina's mother's music. It wasn't that bad. “Anything is better than the Bay City Rollers.”

Layla just sang along to the song louder. 

She drank her coffee, ignoring her friend. 

She left the kitchen and went back into her bedroom, walking past Sandy, who was still asleep, to get dressed for the day. She normally stuck with bell-bottoms, peasant blouses, chunky belts, and boots, but today was parent-teacher conferences, and she had to dress the way one would expect a young kindergarten teacher would. 

She changed into a blue sleeveless plaid house dress and a thin nude cardigan. She thought she looked horrendous in the dress, but that was a good thing if she wanted to impress the parents. She could go back wearing her usual clothes on Monday. 

She applied minimal makeup and brushed her long black hair. She was too lazy to do anything with it. She came back out of her room and found Layla had turned off her music. She smiled.

“Are all the parents meeting with you?” Mina asked, now wearing her green nurse's scrubs.

She nodded.

“Even that one kid's parents? What's his name again?”

“Benjamin.” Benjamin's parents were infamous to her and her friends for never being at school. She hadn't met either of them yet, and it was already February. Layla joked that they weren’t real.

Layla rolled her shoulders back. “He's the half-Viet kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know which parent's white?”

She shrugged. “I'm assuming his mother's Vietnamese for obvious reasons. I hope she's the one who comes because I still don't know Benjamin's second last name.” She knew that Vietnamese women didn't take the husband's last name when they were married.

Mina rolled her eyes. “You know how easy it is to go to the files and check yourself?”

“I'm lazy.”

Layla snorted. “That dress is ugly.”

“Don't worry, I agree.”

“Do you think they'll mistake you as Mexican again?”

The woman groaned loudly. “If it happens one more time, I'm killing myself.”

“Maybe you should wear feathers and have a tomahawk,” Mina jokingly suggested.

“At this point, I just might,” she muttered jokingly.

Layla rolled her eyes. She was indigenous too. “You should probably get going, teacher.”

She glanced at the clock on the wall. 7:10. “Oh fuck.” She grabbed her satchel and purse, looking where her boots were. She spotted them in the living room next to the couch. She rushed over and put them on, grateful that she was already wearing socks. 

“Bye, Miss Parker,” Mina called out from the kitchen as she opened the front door of the little house.

Jennifer raised her middle finger in reply, slamming the door shut. 

 

Glendale, California

 

Ronnie pulled into the parking lot of his oldest son's school. It was hot for February, even for California. His car made a loud noise as he parked it. He grimaced. That didn't sound good.

He pulled the keys out of the ignition and sighed. It was parent-teacher conferences. Benjamin only had a half-day of school, meaning he had taken the bus, but Ronnie would be driving him home. 

Mary used to be really into the parent-teacher conferences when he was in elementary school, but she stopped attending his when he was in 7th grade after getting suspended a second time in one semester. His teacher had called him a Fenian son of a drunkard and a whore. He called her a bitchy cunt who hadn't gotten laid in decades. It was one of the few times both of his parents were more than okay with his suspension. 

Ronnie adjusted his tie, looking at the rearview mirror. Ronnie had never worn a tie before to work, so it was odd getting used to it. That interview he had on the day of Benjamin's Christmas party? It was for the finance department of a publishing company, and he got the job. It was a total career jump from being a mechanic, but they hired him. 

He liked the job well enough. He was getting paid an actual decent salary, but he didn't like the part where he had to be friendly and nice. Good thing he was a great liar. 

Working in an office was weird. Ronnie had his own tiny cubicle, and most times, he just answered phone calls and directed people to other phone calls. Ronnie assumed the reason why they had hired him was the fact that he had been in charge of finances at the auto shop, though he wasn't paid extra for it. He wasn't the handiest at math, but Ronnie was quick with a typewriter and calculator, courtesy of Vietnam.  

He had left work after his lunch break and drove to the school, which is where he now sat. He got out of the school and walked over to the school's front desk to sign in. He left the office with a sticker on his shirt that said visitor. 

The kindergarten building was partially separated from the rest of the grades and had its own playground. Ronnie could see various children and adults milling around. He walked in and was immediately spotted by Benjamin, who ran over and hugged his father.

“Sup,” Ronnie greeted, ruffling Benjamin's hair. 

“You're here.”

“Yes, I am.”

He let go and grabbed his hand. “Let's meet my friends. Their mommies are all here too.”

Ronnie nodded and let Benjamin lead him to a table where three women were sitting and talking. Two of them were white, and the other one looked Latin American. There was another woman at the table next to them, alone. She looked Southeast Asian. Ronnie wondered if that was the other Vietnamese kid's mother. 

They looked up as Ronnie came over with Benjamin.

“This is my daddy,” Benjamin announced before running off.

Ronnie laughed. “I'm Ronnie McKittrick,” he greeted. The three women smiled and stood up. They looked to be in their mid to late 30s.

“Charlotte Nelson,” the blonde said, shaking his hand.

The brunette smiled. “Talia Worthing.”

“Daniela Cortez-Medina,” the other woman said, smirking. She had thick curly black hair and a hint of a Cuban accent.

Ronnie nodded. All three of the women looked wealthy. “Whose kid's who?”

“Well, obviously Alicia is mine,” Daniela replied. 

Charlotte pointed to a blond kid next to Benjamin. “That's Joel.”

“Neil's mine,” Talia answered. “Kid with the buzzcut.”

Ronnie nodded again. 

“We had assumed your wife would come,” Charlotte began.

“She died when Benjamin was a baby. I'm a widower.” Ronnie could feel Nguyệt behind him. Ever since she had actually reacted to something he said, Ronnie had been paranoid about her. 

All three women's faces looked surprised.

Daniela frowned. “Oh, I'm so sorry.”

“It's fine.” He glanced at the woman who he assumed was Kimmie's mother. “Is that Kimmie's mother?”

Talia nodded. “She is a very kind woman, but she can't speak English, so it's hard to have conversations without her daughter translating.” Her face was ever so judgemental.

Ronnie decided he'd rather talk to Mrs. Nguyen. “Would you ladies mind? It was nice to meet you.”

They all nodded and smiled. 

Ronnie walked over and sat down. “I'm assuming you are Kimmie's mother?”

She looked over and smiled in surprise. “ You speak Vietnamese. ” She looked a bit older than the other ladies.

Yes, ma'am. I'm Ronnie, Benjamin's father.”

I'm Sen,” Sen replied. “Nice to meet you.”

You too.” Ronnie swallowed, trying to remember the words. “Do you know... the order?"

She nodded. “It is backward, so Z goes first, and A goes last.”

"So Benjamin is before Kimmie?

Yes. I think you're next.”

Oh. Good thing I got here in time. ” He sniffed. “How much can you understand English?"

She frowned. “ I can understand some, but I can't get around without my husband or children.”

Is Kimmie the youngest?"

I have two older sons and an older daughter. And you? Your wife?"

Benjamin's mother is dead, but I have another son with another woman, but we're not together.

Sen nodded. “Was she born here, or did you meet h-

In Vietnam?” he finished. “She was in the village I was stationed at, but she was born in Hue.” He rubbed under his eye, looking at Nguyệt, now standing in front of him. “Benjamin looks like her.”

I'm sorry she died,” Sen said kindly. 

Thanks.”

Benjamin and Kimmie came running over. “This is Kimmie, Daddy.”

Ronnie smiled. “Nice to meet you, Kimmie,” he greeted in Vietnamese so Sen could understand.

You can speak Vietnamese too?!”

He taught me,” Benjamin stated proudly. 

Ronnie laughed as the classroom door opened and a parent came out. “That's me,” he muttered, standing up. “Would you like me to translate for you?

Sen's eyes widened. “You would do that?”

Yes, I would. That way, Kimmie can still play.

Sen looked very grateful. “Thank you.”

Ronnie smiled. “No problem.” He turned towards the classroom and walked over, passing Talia, Charlotte, and Daniela.

“You can speak Vietnamese?” Charlotte asked.

“You don’t?” He answered, not bothering to look back. He stood by the classroom door as it opened again, and a young woman wearing a blue plaid dress came out. 

“Hi, I’m Jennifer Parker, I'm your son’s—oh my fucking god!” She blurted, staring at Ronnie in shock.

Ronnie was in an equal state of shock. “Jennifer?!”

Jennifer blinked. “Ronnie?”

He laughed. “Holy shit.”

Jennifer stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Ronnie was surprised, but he accepted the hug, returning it. She still smelled like rose water. After a minute, she let go and stepped back.

“Benjamin's your son?”

“We do share a last name.”

She looked down, embarrassed. “The name's cutoff after M. I never realized it was McKittrick.” She laughed. “God, I can't believe it's you.”

Ronnie shook his head. “Me neither. What's it been?”

“Seven years in September.”

“Jesus,” Ronnie muttered. 

She gestured to the door. “C'mon.”

Ronnie followed her into the classroom, which was populated by tiny desks and badly drawn artwork. In the corner was a large rectangular desk which Jennifer sat down behind. He sat down in front of the desk. 

Ronnie still reeling from the fact his son's teacher was his fucking ex-girlfriend. The last name hadn't been a coincidence. He leaned back into the chair. “Christ, I was starting to think that I'd never see you again.”

She nodded. “Same.”

It really is a small world, Ronnie thought. 

“So, uh… what have you been doing all this time?” Jennifer asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Ronnie almost smirked. She still did that when she was nervous. “Well, I met Benjamin's mother in Vietnam, and we got married. She died three months after Benjamin was born.” He sighed. He wasn't gonna go into what happened after. “After Vietnam, Beth moved in with her boyfriend and asked if I wanted to move too, so I did. I was in Running Springs for roughly two years. It's near San Bernardino.”

She nodded.

“Got a new girlfriend. She dumped me.”

Jennifer snorted.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want,” he mumbled. “Beth got married, and then she divorced her husband, so now she lives in Houston, and I live in a shitty apartment in Pasadena. You?”

“I finished college and took a job here. This is my third year teaching and my second year here.”

“God, what the fuck, man?”

Jennifer nodded. “Okay, enough about us. Let's talk about Benjamin.”

Benjamin was one of the smartest kids in the class, according to Jennifer. He was a chatterbox, but he got quiet when he was told. Ronnie summed it up that Benjamin behaved better than he did as a child.

Ronnie stared at her as she talked. She had gotten older, but it wasn't in a bad way. Her hair was longer than the last time he saw her. She looked mature, but still had a playful look in her eye. She was as beautiful and regal-looking as ever.

When she finished, they looked at each other, unsure what to say.

“That dress is hideous,” he burst out. 

Jennifer laughed. “I know.”

“You want my number?” Ronnie then asked shyly.

Jennifer wrote hers down on a piece of paper and handed it to Ronnie. He did the same.

“I'm gonna translate for Mrs. Nguyen,” he muttered.

She nodded. “Can you go get her?”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

Notes:

when you end up teaching your ex's kid ...also happy early halloween!

For Context

Sinhalese --> Ethnic group/language native to Sri Lanka, called Ceylon until 1972

Bay City Rollers --> Scottish rock-pop band, the basic "teen idol" band at the time, so I would compare 2013 One Direction or Justin Bieber in the 2010s to the kind of reaction Jennifer gives.

Chapter 86: New Beginnings (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Bobby has big news, and Valentina comes up for a visit

CW: Discussion of period-typical homophobia, sexual references,

Notes:

SURPRISE EARLY UPDATE! Today is the 3rd anniversary since I started actually writing the story on google docs! it's been exciting writing this, especially since it's so long. Thanks everyone!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 86: New Beginnings

 

Late February 1976, Burbank, California



“I got some news,” Bobby announced, setting down his beer.

Ronnie sipped his beer and raised a brow. “What?”

Ronnie had never been to the bar they were at before. Bobby had told him it had good IPAs, but Ronnie assumed he wanted to go there because it was a gay bar. When he arrived, he was surprised to find that it was not a gay bar. It was a normal bar. Ronnie was like 23 percent sure Bobby and the bartender had screwed before, though.

“I'm engaged.”

He blinked. “You're what?”

“Engaged,” Bobby repeated.

Ronnie furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Uh... last time I checked, it's illegal to marry another dude.”

“I'm engaged to a woman.”

He stared at him, even more confused. “Are you playing a joke on me?”

Bobby shook his head. “No.”

“Why the fuck are you engaged?”

“She's a lesbian.”

Ronnie sat there for a second. “...See, every time you open your mouth, it gets more confusing.”

Bobby chuckled. “We're not actually getting married.”

Ronnie was still lost. He gaped at his friend, wondering what the fuck was this guy on.

“Sorry, I'll start from the beginning.”

He nodded.

“I met Ella at a gay nightclub back in San Fran while I was visiting some friends.”

“Okay…”

Bobby continued “We hit it off pretty well and met up the next day for coffee, and we exchanged phone numbers, continued talking. It was her idea, actually.”

“To get engaged to a gay man?”

Bobby nodded. “Yeah.” He finished the rest of his beer. “Well, both of our parents have been constantly harassing us about when we'll settle down and get married.”

“Which won't happen.”

“Exactly.”

Ronnie nodded. “Okay... I think I see where this is going. You’re engaged, then what?”

“We've planned in like a year or two, ya know to give it time to marinate with our families, we’ll have a pre-wedding party or something, and then we'll dramatically break up in public and be so depressed about it, we won't even be able to think about getting married for like another decade.”

Ronnie laughed. “So to throw off your family?”

“Yep.”

“That's actually kinda smart,” Ronnie mused, finishing his beer. “Can you act?”

“All gay men have a talent for lying. And being overdramatic.”

Ronnie smirked. “That's fair.”

“Sex isn't everything, Ronnie. I like Ella a lot, and it'll be fun pretending to be straight.”

Ronnie laughed again. “What about in 10 years?”

Bobby shrugged. “Hopefully, by then, I will have had the balls to come out to my family.”

“I guess we'll have to see.”

Bobby waved a waiter over and ordered another round of beers. When he left, he looked back at Ronnie, serious. “Do you plan on ever coming out to your mom?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I don't think so. My mom is like the greatest mom anyone could ever ask for, but she's super Catholic. I don't... I don't wanna ruin it, I guess.”

Bobby nodded. “I hate having to hide, but I'd rather not risk my career or my life. I'm grateful I live here because if I was back in Louisiana, back in my backswamp hometown?” He swallowed. “I'd probably be dead. I couldn't live there and spend the whole time hiding. It'd drive me insane or to suicide.”

Ronnie knew what he meant. “I felt content with my orientation, but it just opens up a whole new world of danger. You're my only friend other than Valentina who knows I'm bisexual. Beth and Laurie don't count. I'm paranoid.”

“You have every right to be.”

Ronnie looked at his beer glass. “But it’s like you said, it's a good thing we live here and not in our hometowns.”

“Valentina... she's your stepmom who you got pregnant?” Bobby bit back a smile.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

“She knows?”

“She was the one who told me to see if I was gay or not.”

“You told her about Scott?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, but she kinda guessed anyway.”

“Well, at least someone in your family is supportive.”

Ronnie chuckled. “Yeah. She's actually flying here tomorrow afternoon.”

“Oh, that's cool.”

“Flight lands at 12:30. Benjamin is excited to see August again.”

“Does he know that's his brother?”

The waiter came back and handed Ronnie and Bobby their beer before taking their empty glasses and bottles. Ronnie waited for him to walk away.

“Yeah, there's no point in sugarcoating it. Valentina and I decided just not to tell either of them how we met until they're teenagers.”

“You'll have to invite me over when you have that conversation.”

Ronnie snickered. “Wanna meet Valentina? You can stay overnight and come with me to the airport.”

“Are we gonna fuck?” Bobby asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We almost always fuck when we meet up,” Ronnie answered.

“True.” Bobby took a sip of his beer, getting foam on his upper lip. He wiped it off and smiled. “Thanks. I've been wanting to meet your other kid. What does he look like?”

“He has my eyes and hair, but he looks more like his mother. Saw them for Christmas. The kid's gotten huge. Turned one last month.” He took a quick beer break. “My youngest sister was struggling to hold him at his baptism. She was the godmother.”

“Valentina's Catholic too?”

“Yeah, probably a big reason why Mom likes her so much.”

“Benjamin's baptized?”

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, my mom did it while we were stuck in that lovely cell.”

Bobby made a disgusted face at the mention of the cell. 

Ronnie wholeheartedly agreed.

“How are you raising him, religion-wise?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I dunno. Mom's been trying to convince me to put him in catechism so he can do his first communion, but I don't want to. I don't mind baptizing, but I don't go to church. Why should Benjamin?”

“Then you got the whole Buddhist thing too.”

“Yeah, Isaac and Bian have had the same problem.”

“Mixing faiths?”

Ronnie took another sip of his beer. “Yep.”

“I thought you have to convert when you marry a Jewish man?”

“Well, Bian told me that they married in a registry office as soon as they landed here in the States, and she converted about two years ago, meaning their future kids will be fully Jewish, but Dean, their oldest, is gonna have to go through a few extra steps, and Bian still wants to observe the major Buddhist holy days. Plus they celebrate Christmas because of Isaac’s mom.”

Bobby wrapped that around his head. “That's chaotic.”

“That's what I said,” he replied, thinking about the joke that Bian made: She and her kids were probably the first ever Vietnamese Jews. 

“Did you ever think about converting to Buddhism?”

“I thought about it. But not seriously.” He swallowed. “Do you go to church?”

Bobby shook his head. “Mama's super religious, but when the pastor's preaching about the sin of homosexuals and whatever, you don't feel that welcome.”

Ronnie raised his beer. “Cheers to that.”

Bobby smiled and raised his glass too.

“Congratulations on your fake engagement, though. I hope whatever you're plotting works out.”

“Me too.” He grinned. “Wanna be my fake best man?”

Ronnie put his left hand over his chest. “I'd be honored.”

They both laughed.

 

The Next Day

 

Benjamin was going circles around Ronnie's legs, clearly very bored. Bobby looked equally as bored, watching Benjamin go around Ronnie's legs. The flight had gotten delayed by an hour.

“Are you excited to see your brother?” Ronnie asked.

Benjamin stopped and looked up. “Yes!” He started hopping on one foot. “When are you having dinner with Miss Parker?”

Bobby glanced at Ronnie, curious.

“I met my son's teacher a couple of weeks ago, and turns out it's my ex-girlfriend,” he explained.

Bobby cocked a brow. “The one that dumped you when you proposed?”

He nodded.

“Wow.”

“I know. I asked her to dinner next weekend.”

“You gonna-” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Ronnie scoffed. “Dude, he's right here.”

Benjamin stopped hopping on his foot and looked up. “Miss Parker was your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, we dated for five years.”

“I'm five!”

Bobby chuckled. “Yes, you are.”

People started to come out of the terminal, and Ronnie soon spotted a dark-haired woman with a baby. He waved at her. Valentina saw him and nodded, changing her direction to where they were. 

“Hey,” Ronnie greeted, giving her a side hug and leaning down so she could kiss his cheek. He took August from her arms and smiled. “Hello, mister.”

August did not reply.

Benjamin hugged Valentina. “Hi, baby brother's mommy.”

She smiled and hugged him back. “Hello there, Benjamin.”

Ronnie gestured to Bobby with his free hand. “This is my friend Bobby Walker.”

“I am Valentina Jansons-McKittrick.”

Bobby smiled as they shook hands. “I've heard a lot about you.”

She glanced at Ronnie. “Really?” 

“We're really good friends.”

Valentina nodded. “Well, Good Friend Bobby, help me with suitcase while Ronnie watch children.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Bobby muttered, following Valentina to the conveyor belt of luggage. 

Ronnie went over to some benches and sat down. Benjamin sat next to him, staring at August.

“Can I hold August?”

“When we get home.”

August babbled, putting his fingers in his mouth. 

“Can you say Dada?” Ronnie asked, taking August's fingers out of his mouth.

August stared at him with his big blue eyes.

“Oh, I see how it is.”

He looked at Benjamin. “Behnjahme.”

Ronnie jerked his head. “Wait, did you just say Benjamin?”

He pointed at Benjamin. “Behnjahme.”

Benjamin gasped. “He said my name!”

Ronnie nodded. “He did.”

Bobby and Valentina came back, both holding a large suitcase. Bobby set the one he was holding down. “What'd we miss?”

“He just said his first word.”

Valentina gasped and smiled. "He did?"

“He said my name!” Benjamin cheered. 

Valentina's smile melted into a glare. “Vai jūs jokojat? You say his name before mine?”

August just giggled and held his hands out to his mother.

Bobby snorted. “He reminds me of you. You're both little shits.”

Ronnie laughed. 

 

***

 

Valentina rested her head on Ronnie's bare chest as he recovered from his orgasm. Her hand traced patterns on his stomach as he reached down and pulled the condom off of his cock, throwing it on the floor. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, sighing.

“That good?” she whispered.

“Shh.”

Valentina smiled tiredly.

After leaving the airport, they ate a late lunch at a Mexican restaurant. Bobby left shortly after as he had work, so Ronnie drove Valentina and the boys home. They watched some TV and had leftovers for dinner before Ronnie tried to put both August and Benjamin to bed at lightning speed. Toby slept in the same room, so he knew they would be fine.

It hadn't taken long for Valentina to make her over to Ronnie's bedroom, where they kissed and took each other's clothes off before the actual act. She had ridden him, which Ronnie thought was very hot. Her wet thighs on top of his? A wet dream come true. 

“Was Bobby one imprisoned with you in Vietnam?” She asked quietly.

He nodded.

“You seem close in way Uncle Einars and Mr. Oļegs were close.”

“Who were they?”

“Uncle was sent gulag... prison in Siberia, and he meet Mr. Oļegs, another Latvian. They return when I was 14. Special relationship. It was not romantic or sexual, but they... how you say... know each other intimately.”

Ronnie nodded again. He understood she meant all too well. 

Valentina then smirked. “But I think you and Bobby... it is sexual.”

He cocked a brow. “Did he tell you while I was in the bathroom?”

She shook her head. “No, it is very clear he is gay.”

Ronnie sat up. “How? I didn't realize he was gay until he told me.”

Valentina shrugged. “I live with two gay men for year. I know what I talk about.”

Ronnie chuckled. “Yeah, we're screwing, but it's nothing serious.” He kissed her forehead. “What about you? Do you plan on dating?”

Valentina shook her head. “No.”

“I'm the only guy?”

. We cannot date because of Ronald, but I still do not want boyfriend. I have August, and I am happy.” She settled on his stomach. “What about you? Relationship?”

Ronnie swallowed. “I think I could be in a relationship again but not a serious one... at first at least. Mom has already been pestering me to find a girl and remarry so someone can take care of Benjamin, but if I were to remarry, it would be someone I love and could spend the rest of my life with.” 

He sighed. “I'm lonely. I get jealous of people I know in relationships, and I know it's childish, but most of the time, it's just me and Benjamin.” And Nguyệt, his brain added.

He continued. “Mom never remarried, and she's doing great, but she was already 41 by the time the divorce was finalized. I just turned 26.”

Valentina pursed her lips. “But you have Benjamin, me, and August.”

Ronnie nodded. “I know. I think I just need to get out of California. I've been here too long, and too much shit has happened. Not to mention how expensive it is.”

“Money is always problem for people like you and me.”

“You can say that again,” he mumbled. 

Ronnie leaned down and pulled Valentina up so he could kiss her temple. He liked her skin. It was soft, unlike his. “I care about you, ya know. You're one of my closest friends,” he whispered gently.

“Who fuck each other. You have lot of those.”

Ronnie snickered. “I do, don't I?”

She nodded as she sat up and shifted the bed. “I have something I must tell you.”

Ronnie sat up as well. “What is it?”

“I have major illness as child. Main reason why I come here. Better doctors. It is dormant now... that why having August was so hard. I do not have much white blood cells.”

He frowned. “Oh.”

She smiled tiredly. “Is okay. I have not been very sick since I was teenager.” She laid back on the bed. “But if I do, you promise you will take care of August?”

Ronnie was surprised. “Of course. He's my son, and I love him.”

“I am glad.” She closed her eyes. “Good night.”

Still adjusting to this new information, Ronnie curled up next to her and turned off the lamp. “Good night.”

The phone went off later. Ronnie wasn't sure how late it was but, it felt like the middle of the night.

He opened his eyes and groaned. He hadn't been sleeping, and curiosity would kill him if he didn't answer it. He left the bed quietly, making sure not to wake up Valentina. He left the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. 

I should get a phone installed in my bedroom, he thought. I really hope Benjamin doesn't wake up because I am butt-ass naked.

He picked the phone up and groaned. “What? Do you know what time it is?”

A woman's voice sighed. “Hi, Ronnie.”

Ronnie's tired eyes widened. “Beth?”

Notes:

In honor of the third anniversary, i will be posting a short story!! (about my man scott) enjoy <3
LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

Vai jūs jokojat? --> Are you kidding me?

Chapter 87: Jennifer of the Omaha (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie goes on a date and catches up with Jennifer after all this time

CW: Explicit sex, mention of past suicide attempt

Notes:

happy sunday!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 87: Jennifer of the Omaha

 

Saturday, March 6th, 1976, Los Angeles, California



Ronnie glanced at his trusty old watch. 5:24. He looked around the restaurant, feeling out of place. He was wearing the nicest suit he owned, and he still felt slightly underdressed. The people around him were all in literal tuxedos and evening gowns. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to go to one of the most expensive restaurants in Los Angeles. He could already feel the emptiness of his wallet. Even if his new salary was almost two thousand dollars more than he used to make, the cheapest appetizer alone was almost five dollars. 

His mind drifted to the phone call he and Beth had almost two weeks ago. He was more surprised that she was the one who called and not by the fact it was two in the morning. They had ended up speaking for hours. The sun was starting to rise by the time Ronnie put the phone down. 

It was more than awkward at first. Ronnie just breathed into the phone for about three minutes before asking why she called. Then she said she forgave him. He hadn’t expected that. Then she did something else that was even out of the question. Elizabeth Mary McKittrick had apologized to him. 

Ronnie had sat there, shocked that she would forgive him, much less apologize. He then swallowed his ego and croaked out, “I’m sorry for everything, Beth.”

He accepted her apology, even though he knew she probably still felt the same way. She accepted his, and Ronnie found himself on the couch, a throw pillow over his privates, speaking to Beth. They talked about kids, Mary, Laurie. Neither of them brought up Scott, and he didn’t tell her about Jennifer.

He and Beth were speaking again. He knew it would never be the way it used to be, but it felt like he had two sisters again.

His eyes glanced back at the menu. Why the fuck had he picked this place?

You know why, a voice in his head answered. You wanted to impress her. Show her that you aren’t country white trash anymore.

Ronnie didn’t argue with the voice. He was too nervous to argue with himself. His leg bounced in anticipation. What if she didn't show up?

Almost right on cue, a tall dark-haired woman walked into the restaurant. She looked like she fit right in with the surrounding crowd. She was wearing a turquoise kaftan with a mock turtleneck. It was belted at her waist, and she wore a gold necklace and chunky earrings. From the edges of her kaftan, Ronnie could see a pair of gold platforms that made her even taller. Her hair was similar to the last time he saw her, only it looked shinier. 

Ronnie stared at her in amazement. She looked gorgeous. 

Jennifer spotted Ronnie and smiled. He stood up.

He whistled, eyeing her up and down. “Wow.”

Jennifer smiled, embarrassed. “Not too shabby yourself.”

Ronnie pulled her chair back and pushed it back in as she sat down. He sat back down in his own chair.

“Have you ordered?”

Ronnie shook his head. “No,” he replied, handing her the wine menu. “Here’s the wine menu.”

Jennifer took it and glanced. “Jesus.”

He scoffed. “How do you think I feel?”

She smiled. 

“Ya know, I never thought you’d be a kindergarten teacher.” He stared at her chest. “Sure ain’t dressing like one.”

Jennifer didn’t notice. “I studied to be a high school teacher, but this is what I’ve found.”

“You like little kids?”

“No,” she replied bluntly.

They both laughed.

“Don’t tell them that.”

Ronnie made an X over his chest. “I won’t.”

The waiter came over. “Good evening, I’m John. I'll be your server.”

Ronnie nodded.

“Drinks to start off with?”

Ronnie glanced at the wine menu. “Can we get the cheapest red wine? Whole bottle.” He glanced at Jennifer.

“I’m good with that.”

John nodded and left.

“How’d you end up in California?”

“Well, after I graduated, I was an assistant teacher for a middle school, and one of the librarians said her sister was retiring, and they needed a young teacher, so I decided why not. I don’t plan on teaching kindergarten forever. I think I’ll try applying to the local high schools after this school year.”

Ronnie nodded.

“What about you? What do you do?”

“I worked as a mechanic up until December. I work in finance for a publishing company now.”

She scoffed. “That’s a totally different route.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like it?”

“It pays way more than my other job, so yeah, I do.”

Jennifer giggled.

He flashed a grin. “You look amazing.”

She rolled her eyes, but Ronnie could tell she was flattered. “What about your love life? You said you have dated since your…” She trailed off.

“Late wife?”

She nodded. “What was her name?”

“Nguyệt,” Ronnie whispered. He couldn’t see her at the moment, but he still thought she was around somewhere. “After I got back, and I moved here, I started dating this girl, Lola. She was older than me.”

“I don’t see you dating a cougar.”

“She was only three years older than me.”

“Ah. What happened?”

“She broke up with me.”

Jennifer looked emotionless. “Was it because you proposed?”

Ronnie groaned and scoffed, jerking his head back. “Fuck off.”

She laughed and bit her lip, still smiling. “I'm sorry.”

“I’m hurt,” he muttered, half-serious, half-joking. 

Jennifer looked down.

“But since she dumped me, which had NOTHING to do with proposing, I haven’t dated since.”

“When was that?”

“August 1973.” He leaned forward. “What about you? Who’ve you dated since me?”

“I had a Filipino boyfriend named Oliver, and we dated for almost two years. After him... I started dating another guy, and that was for about a year.” Jennifer’s face and tone grew tense when she mentioned the second relationship. It sounded like a bad one. “But I haven't dated since ‘73 either.”

“Twins.”

The waiter came back with the bottle of wine and two glasses. He uncorked the bottle and poured both of them a glass before setting the bottle down between them. He pulled back out his pad and pen. “Appetizers?”

Ronnie shook his head. “No, thanks.”

“Mozzarella sticks,” Jennifer answered. She looked at Ronnie for approval.

He shook his hand. “Get whatever. Just not the really really expensive stuff.”

John wrote it down and left.

Ronnie noticed that the tattoo on his forearm was peaking out, and Jennifer was looking at it. “Can I see that tattoo?”

He nodded and pushed up his jacket sleeve, undoing the cuff and pulling that up too. 

She studied it. “Why’d you get a chrysanthemum?”

“I was drunk.”

“But I can tell it means something.”

He swallowed. “It was Nguyệt’s favorite flower. I have another tattoo on my left arm.” He paused. “Do you have any tattoos?”

Jennifer’s ears turned a dark red, and she leaned forward. “I have a tramp stamp,” she whispered.

Ronnie laughed. “You slut.”

She gasped. “Leave me alone.”

“What is it?”

“It’s two little flowers entwined. Also got it drunk.”

“You’ll have to show it to me sometime.” He winked.

Jennifer made a gagging face. 

Ronnie laughed. “So, tell me. What was college like? I need to feel as poor as I will when I get the bill.”

She chuckled. “For the most part, it was some of the best years of my life.”

“Ouch.”

“Be quiet.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled like she was remembering something nice. “I fell in love with writing. So much that I ended up double majoring in English education and writing.”

“You wanna be a writer?”

Jennifer shrugged. “Maybe. I’ve published a few articles for Ms. magazine under a pen name.”

Ronnie was impressed.

“College opened my eyes,” she continued. “I saw how lucky I was compared to many of my brothers and sisters. I joined the American Indian Movement there.”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “This is the same Jennifer from six and a half years ago?”

She nodded. “I know. You were right. I was ashamed.” She took a sip of her wine. “There were a total of six other indigenous kids at UMD during my entire four years. Two dropped out. We formed a chapter there.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, I got into a lot of movements that were all happening.” She scoffed. “To think I used to pretend I was Mexican. Now I hate it when people ask me that.”

Ronnie nodded. She looked proud, not just of herself but of her heritage. “You look happier.”

She smiled. “I am.”

Ronnie felt his heart pounding. He wondered if old feelings were beginning to stir for her too. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed her until now.

“You know, first thing I thought when I saw you at the classroom door was how much more attractive you’ve gotten.”

He snorted. “Haha.”

“No, I’m serious. You finally grew into your height. You used to be so gangly.”

“And annoying,” he added, taking a sip of his wine.

“That too.”

Ronnie smirked.

Jennifer then frowned and started to reach out towards his face but stopped mid-way, setting her arm down. “What happened to your eye?”

Ronnie wondered how he would have reacted if she had touched him. “It’s permanently dilated. Got punched really hard.”

“I like it,” she decided.

He was slow. “You do?”

“It makes your eyes look real.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I used to think your eyes weren’t real because they were so blue.”

“I like your eye color. It's nice against your skin.”

Jennifer beamed warmly.

John returned with the mozzarella sticks, setting them in front of the wine bottle. “Are you ready to order?”

Jennifer looked at the menu. “I'll have the filet mignon, medium-rare.”

He eyed Ronnie.

“I’ll have that too.”

John left once again.

Ronnie refilled his now empty wine glass. 

“Have you been here before?”

“No, I’m poor.”

She smirked. “Do you still talk to Laurie?”

Ronnie shrugged. “We’ve distanced over the years. He’s dating Beth now.”

Jennifer's eyes widened. “No fucking way.”

“Yeah, he called me and told me. I wasn’t even on speaking terms with Beth until a couple of weeks ago.”

Her eyebrows knit in concern. “God, what happened?”

He shrugged again. “Long story.”

“Still not a talker?”

“Nope.”

Jennifer just rolled her eyes and sighed, smiling.

He smiled back. 

 

***

 

The bill was just as Ronnie feared. Insanely pricey. Having to do the twenty percent for the tip made him want to smash a wine bottle on his head. He was more than glad when Jennifer offered to pay the tip. 

They walked outside the restaurant, looking at the city lights. Jennifer shivered from the night cold. 

“Did you take a taxi here?”

She nodded.

He glanced at his watch. 8:14. “It’s still pretty early. You wanna go back to my place for drinks? I got some coke and rum.” Ronnie knew this was bold, but it wasn’t like he was asking her to sleep with him.

Jennifer considered this. “I’d like to see you make cocktails.” She mimed shaking the drink mixer. “Shake the ice.”

He snickered. “I’ll call you a taxi when you’re ready to leave.”

“Thank you.”

Ronnie unlocked his car, and they both got in. Jennifer slid into the passenger and sniffed. 

“You still smoke?”

“Not as much as I used to. I try to avoid smoking around Benjamin and in my apartment unless it’s my bedroom.”

She nodded. “I can tell. It doesn’t smell as strong as it did in your truck. Then again, it probably still is a lot, considering you were a chain smoker back then.”

He smirked. “Well, all the money I made back then went to cigarettes and beer.”

“Well, I always thought you looked hot smoking, even if it does kill you.”

Ronnie felt his cheek turn pink as he started the car. He drove out of the parking lot and hit the road, immediately getting into traffic. Why was there always traffic in LA? 

Jennifer was quiet, picking at the peeled pleather of her wallet, staring out the window.  

Ronnie thought about the last time they were in a car together. It had been driving home from Woodstock. They were both so tired that they didn’t talk in the car. The only time they would do something was when they stayed the night in a shitty motel and had sex. It was quiet sex, if that even existed. Neither of them talked, and the only sounds that would escape either of their mouths were moans and wails of pleasure. They would then lay together naked and sleep until checking out and getting back on the road. 

The time driving to, at, and leaving Woodstock was a mystery to him. He barely remembered it. Considering what happened right after, Ronnie now considered it a fever dream. It had changed their relationship, but he wasn’t too sure how. He wasn’t stupid enough to not realize they probably had a threesome while they were there, but he was starting to think the reason why Jennifer had been so off about it was that it had been with a man. 

He had no intention of saying this to her, but it made sense why the sex they had on the way back from Woodstock was so depressing. It was goodbye sex. 

“Do you still have the photographs of Jimi Hendrix’s autograph on your tits?” He asked, realizing it had been quiet for too long.

She turned her head and gave him a look. “Seriously? That’s the question you ask?”

“What?” He replied defensively. “Do you?”

She was silent for a second before nodding. “It’s in a photo album called Private.”

“I’d like to see some other pictures from this album.”

Jennifer gently hit his arm. “Shut up and drive.”

Ronnie laughed and turned on the radio, music filling up the car. When they pulled up to the apartment lot, Jennifer saw the park across the street.

“That’s nice. You have a park nearby.”

“Yeah, great for the kid and dog. Does make rent more expensive.”

“You have a dog?”

“Yeah, a Bullmastiff named Toby.” He smiled. “He’s just one big sweetheart.”

Jennifer nodded as he parked and stopped the car.

They got out at the same time, and Jennifer followed Ronnie to his apartment. He started to get self-conscious. He couldn’t remember how clean the place was. Would she judge him for the size? Ronnie knew the dishes weren't done, and his room was a wreck.

He unlocked the door and opened it. “Welcome.”

Olivia was sitting on the couch reading a book while Benjamin was on the floor next to her, giving Toby a belly rub.

“Hello.”

Olivia glanced up. “Hi. I’m sorry that he’s still awake,” she rushed out very quickly.

Ronnie shook his head. “It’s fine. I don’t mind on the weekends.”

She glanced at Jennifer, who was standing behind him. 

“This is Jennifer. We’re old friends. Jennifer, this is my neighbor’s daughter Olivia.”

Olivia gave them a suspicious face.

“We dated in high school,” she added.

“Yeah,” Ronnie muttered.

Benjamin finally realized his father was home and looked up, surprised to see his teacher out of all people. “Miss Parker?”

Jennifer smiled. “Hi, Benjamin.” She walked over to where he was and crouched down as far as her shoes allowed her to. 

Ronnie noticed that her voice sounded way more kid-friendly as he paid Olivia. She left, closing the door behind her. He turned to Benjamin. “Okay, time for bed.”

Benjamin frowned. “Okay.” He looked at Jennifer. “Good night, Miss Parker.”

“Good night, Benjamin.”

Benjamin walked into his room, Toby following him. He usually slept on Benjamin’s bed. When Ronnie heard the door close, he smirked.

“I’ll make us those cocktails. Ice?”

She nodded.

Ronnie pulled two (and only) glass tumblers from the cabinet and the coke and rum from the fridge. He put ice in the glasses first before pouring the rum and Coca-Cola. 

“Toby’s cute,” she called out. “Mom and Pamela are allergic to dogs, so we could never have one.”

Ronnie came out from the kitchen holding the rum and cokes. “Didn’t know that.”

They sat on his little couch as he handed her the drink. 

“I like your place. It’s small but private,” Jennifer mused. “I room with three other girls.”

“Jesus.”

Jennifer smirked. “Yeah. It’s fun until everyone’s on their period at the same time.”

Ronnie grimaced as he sipped his drink. He remembered how miserable Jennifer was during that time of the month. That times four? No fucking thank you.

They drank in silence, listening to the crickets outside. When Ronnie finished, he swirled the melting ice around the glass. He was mentally debating whether or not to tell Jennifer that he wanted to kiss her. She had to have known there was something more when he asked her for drinks at his place. 

He gulped. “Can I tell you a secret?” He whispered, setting his glass on the little table next to the couch.

Jennifer cocked her head. “What?”

He leaned forward and used the breathy voice he used when he was flirting. “I wanna kiss you.”

She looked at him and set her glass down on the floor. “Can I tell you one?”

His heart fluttered in hope. “Sure.”

“I do too.”

They looked into each other’s eyes. It had been so long since. 

Ronnie leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. God, he felt like a teenager again.

Jennifer sighed into his lips and kissed him harshly, grabbing his face with her hands. He pulled her into his lap, her dress scratching against his slacks. Their kissing was ravenous, almost like they were trying to devour their faces. His tongue left her mouth and kissed her jaw as she pulled off his jacket. He kicked off his shoes and put his hand on her thigh, scrunching up cloth into a fist. 

She whimpered. “Not here.”

He nodded.

Leaving his jacket behind, Ronnie grabbed Jennifer’s wrists and pulled her to his bedroom door. She was breathing loudly, discarding her gold shoes as they got closer to his bedroom. He opened it, and Jennifer stumbled backward. He grabbed her by the forearms and pulled her close, their hips touching. He quickly switched on the light and kicked the door closed behind him. 

Jennifer gasped lightly, and she turned around, back against his chest. “Unzip it.”

Ronnie’s fingers danced around the zipper before pulling it down. He watched as more of her back became exposed, and when he got to the end, he could see her tramp stamp peeking out of her underwear.

“I like it.”

She scoffed, and she pulled her dress sleeves off, stepping out of her dress. She was wearing lacy turquoise lingerie. 

He bit his lip. “God, you’re so pretty.”

Jennifer laughed and began to unbutton his shirt, taking her sweet time.

Ronnie ran his hands through her hair as she finished unbuttoning his shirt. She undid his cuffs and finally pulled off his shirt, now next to her dress. 

She stared at him, her eyes wandering to the thin white line above his pants. 

Ronnie pretended not to notice as he pushed her onto the bed, their lips making contact. Jennifer groaned as his crotch touched hers. He could feel his pants tightening. He left her face, planting kisses until he got to her breasts. He had forgotten how large they were. And how much he had missed them. 

He pulled the right cup down and grabbed her tit. Jennifer sighed loudly as she sat up and undid her bra.

“Fucking missed these,” he muttered as she threw off her bra, and his tongue made contact with her left nipple. 

She moaned loudly, her back arching as she grabbed Ronnie’s hair and pushed him down. He explored her breasts. He bit them, he sucked them, and he touched them greedily, kneading the spare that wasn’t in his mouth. 

“Ronnie,” she whined.

He looked up. 

“Take off your pants.” Her face was covered in lust and need.

He nodded and sat up, undoing his belt buckle and then unbuttoning his slacks. He hesitated. If he took them off, she would see the scar on his thigh. She had looked curious enough just by the scar on his stomach. 

“Are you okay?” She whispered, sitting up and touching his bare chest.

“I…” He swallowed.

Jennifer kissed his cheek gently as her fingers went to his pants, and she pulled them down slowly, boxers included. It was slow, and Ronnie buried his head into her neck. He didn’t want to see it.

She paused, and Ronnie knew she was looking at it. “Oh, Ronnie,” she whispered. She sounded sad and shocked. From the way she was talking, Ronnie knew she could tell that it was self-inflicted. 

“It was a while ago,” he muttered. 

“When?”

He looked up and saw she had a pitiful look. “In ‘Nam. Please don't pity me.”

Jennifer nodded and continued to pull down his slacks. When they were at his knees, he laid down and pulled them off. His cock was hard as a rock, nearly standing straight up. It was starting to hurt. 

“You’re still the biggest guy I’ve fucked,” she muttered as she wrapped her hand around him.

Ronnie sighed loudly as he reached up and slipped his fingers down her lacy thong, touching her nether region. It was bare and soaking wet. 

“Oh, you wanted this, didn’t you?”

Jennifer closed her eyes and nodded, starting to jerk him off. 

Ronnie groaned as he pulled down her thong and sat up, pushing her down. She lost her grip on his penis. He crawled over to his nightstand and opened the drawer, grabbing a condom. 

Jennifer stayed where she was, watching him open the packet and slide it on his dick. “You look like you do that a lot.”

He smirked as he crawled back over to where she was. “Yeah. Bit of a whore.” You should have seen me last year, he thought.

She reached up and pulled his head down to hers, their forehead touching. Her breath smelled like coke and rum. “Fuck me,” she panted, spreading her long legs. 

He nodded as he hovered over her, preparing to align his dick into her. He took a deep breath and pushed forward, feeling her folds touch the tip of his cock.

Jennifer clenched the sheets.

He thrust again, feeling her walls around him. It was tight, and he was only a few inches in. He looked up.

She bit her lip. He could tell that she was in pain. 

“Okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“Want me to finger you first?”

She shook her head. “Go. Faster,” she gritted.

Ronnie nodded and thrust, this time harder. He was almost in.

Both of them were breathing loudly. He pulled out slightly and thrust again, going all the way in. 

“Oh my—fuck,” she gasped.

He began a steady pace as Jennifer wrapped her legs around his hips, and her hands were clenched around his biceps, nails digging in. He started kissing his breasts again, licking the sweat beginning to form. Jennifer threw her head back and closed her eyes.

“Fuck... Jesus, oh right there... yeahmm.”

Ronnie groaned in reply. “You’re so tight,” he breathed out.

“You’re too big,” she replied.

He smirked, going to kiss her bare neck, licking and biting. Eventually, he began to feel the build up in his stomach. “I’m... close.”

“Faster,” was all Jennifer replied.

Ronnie could feel sweat pooling on his back as he was practically rocking the whole bed. He panted a dog, looking at the wall, starting to shake in exhaustion. “Oh... fuck... I think I’m- uhhhghmm,” he moaned, climaxing and falling onto Jennifer’s chest and stomach. He twitched as he came, feeling his cock spill out the goods.

He panted loudly as Jennifer gently ran her hands through his hair. 

Ronnie pulled out carefully as Jennifer gasped quietly. He pulled his condom off and put his head back on Jennifer's breasts, using them as pillows. 

“You good?” she asked gently.

“Uh-huh,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. God, he was tired. “Did you come?”

“No,” Jennifer admitted.

“Sorry.”

“Well, we have all day tomorrow for that to happen.”

He smiled into her chest. “I’d like that.”

Jennifer kissed his forehead. “Me too.”

Notes:

z library got taken down i fucking hate book tok—anyway you can use libgen.is for all y'all's book and textbook needs

Chapter 88: The Godfather (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie and Jennifer enjoy their arrangement, Benjamin finishes kindergarten, and Beth has big news.

CW: Mentions of period-typical racism, sexual references, spoilers to the godfather (1972, but like it came out 50 years ago so :/)

Notes:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 3.5K AHHHHH

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 88: The Godfather

 

Late May 1976, Glendale, California



And just like that, the school year was over. Benjamin had successfully made it through the school year, and Ronnie was screwing his ex-girlfriend. He and Jennifer had reached new limits of horniness. He saw her practically every weekend, and they did it everywhere. He felt like a teenager again, getting a boner after just having sex once. Her housemates, three other girls the same age, groaned whenever Ronnie popped by. Jennifer apparently was the best cook, and they were annoyed to see her go with him. 

It wasn’t monogamous, though. Ronnie and Bobby hooked up every so often, and sometimes he screwed other people too. He and Jennifer hadn’t talked about that part. They had only acknowledged it when both of them showed up with hickeys from other people. Jennifer joked that she’d get them sluts of the year trophies. Considering how much sex he'd been having in the last two years, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration. 

Benjamin’s class was having an end of the year party, and since he promised, Ronnie took time off of work to be there. It wasn’t the end of the world. Jennifer would be there too. The only problem was that Jennifer also had to speak to the other parents, which annoyed him. It’s the end of the year. Who cares what the teacher says?

He was sitting next to Benjamin in an extremely tiny chair next to an extremely tiny table. His knees were taller than the table. Benjamin was eating gummy bears and goldfish, telling Ronnie about what he wanted to do in the summer.

“I want to go to Disneyland and Universal Studios. I want to go to the beach and the zoo and see Mamó.”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “And where are you going to get the funding for this?”

Benjamin thought about this. “The bank,” he decided.

“Good luck with that.”

Benjamin nodded. “I will.”

He smirked and then glanced at Jennifer, who was talking to some parents. Ronnie was the only adult male there, and other than Jennifer, he was also pretty sure he was the youngest adult. The joys of having a kid at twenty. 

She eyed him and tried not to laugh. She spoke to the parents a bit more before nodding and walking over. Ronnie grinned.

“You know I can’t talk to you the whole time.”

Ronnie stood up. “Yeah, you can.” He left his son and went to the back of the classroom, leaning on her desk. Jennifer followed him.

“Two people have already asked me if we’re dating,” she muttered, lowering her voice.

Ronnie snickered. “What’d you say?”

“We used to.”

He eyed the room, glancing at the various parents and kids. A few of them were staring at them. Ronnie could honestly care less.

“Has anyone asked you?”

Ronnie squinted his eyes. “I don’t think so.” He touched her fingers. “And why should they care? It’s none of their business.”

She traced patterns on the top of his hand. “Screwing one of my student’s fathers?”

“Say that a little louder, why don’t ya?”

Jennifer smiled and blew air through her nostrils. 

“What’s it like teaching in a school like this?”

“A mostly rich white people school?”

He nodded.

“I've only been called a red-skin whore twice, so... not that bad.”

“When?”

“First year.”

He knew she didn’t like pity. Neither did he. “Want me to say I’m sorry?”

“No.”

“Want me to break their nose?”

Jennifer laughed quietly. “I’ll point him out next time I see him.”

He snorted. 

“How many people’s noses have you actually broken?”

“Like full-on snap or just punch people in the nose?”

“Snap.”

Ronnie counted off his fingers. “Uh... I think eight. Nine if you wanna count the second time I broke Mike Thomson’s nose.”

“That makes you sound like a very violent person.”

He swallowed. “I know.” The latest broken nose hadn’t been Dao’s, but a guy from a bar fight six months ago. The guy had started in it in Ronnie’s defense. He never started the fights. He always did finish them. The only time he had punched first unprovoked was Dao. Look where that got him.

“You okay?”

Ronnie looked at her. “Yeah, just got lost in thought.”

“I’m surprised your three brain cells are capable of doing that.”

He bit back the urge to swear. “I actually have five brain cells.”

She laughed.

He took Benjamin to an ice cream parlor afterward. He was amazed by how many toppings were available. Ronnie had never been to one before, so he thought it'd be fun for both of them. 

Benjamin got chocolate while Ronnie got pistachio. It was way more expensive than just buying some at the store, but Benjamin had just finished kindergarten. They were celebrating. Even if Nguyệt was staring at him the whole time, he wouldn’t let that ruin his night. 

The phone rang while Benjamin was showering. Toby barked, waking Ronnie from his catnap. He picked up the phone. 

“Can I help you?”

“Good evening to you too,” Beth’s voice replied on the other line.

He sat up. “Oh, hey.”

“What are you up to?”

Her voice was apprehensive, but Ronnie wasn’t surprised. They sounded awkward on the phone, even though they made the effort to talk to each other at least once a month. 

“Today was Benjamin’s last day of school.”

“Gosh,” she breathed. “Out of kinder and into first grade.”

“Don’t remind me,” he grumbled. “How about you?”

“Preparations for Rosie’s baptism.”

“How’s that going?”

“Could be going better,” she admitted. “I don’t know who I should invite or not.”

“You could invite me. I’ll always go to parties for free food.”

Beth giggled. “That’s actually why I called.”

“Oh?”

“I want us to be normal again. Or as normal as we can be.”

He sighed. “I know my lifestyle choices ain’t something you look proudly on. But... it’d be nice to have two sisters again.”

She sighed too. “You’ll always be my older brother, even if I think-”

“That I’m a disgusting fuck-up?” Ronnie finished.

She scoffed into the phone. “Can you let me ask my request?”

“Sorry.”

“I want both of you to be there.”

Ronnie smiled softly. “Really?”

“Yes. And I want you to be Rosie’s godfather.”

He hadn't been expecting that. His eyes widened. “You mean that?” He asked quietly. 

“I do.” She sounded sincere. 

He sunk into the couch. He knew Beth wouldn’t have asked him if she didn't want to fix their relationship. But she did ask. She wanted to fix their relationship. He did too, even if she would never approve of his personal life. 

Ronnie swallowed. “I’d love to, Beth.”

As soon as Beth hung up, Ronnie dialed Jennifer’s number. He had called so much that Jennifer's housemates made her get the phone any time after 8 since it was usually him. It honestly flattered Ronnie by how annoyed they were with him. 

“Ronnie, you know I have a social life.”

“It’d be funny if it wasn’t me calling.”

“Well, it is you.”

He could vaguely hear some yelling. “Put me on the speakerphone.”

She did.

“I’m this close to changing numbers,” an annoyed voice stated. Sandy, a freckled redhead with blue eyes. 

Ronnie frowned. “Aw, well then I’ll just have to bother you in person.”

“You can’t take her, it’s her turn to cook dinner,” Mina pleaded.

“Well, you can come over too.”

“Ronnie,” Jennifer chided.

He laughed. “Where’s Layla? I don’t hear her.”

“She’s on a date,” Sandy answered. 

Benjamin came out of his bedroom and went over to where his father was sitting. “Who are you talking to?”

“Miss Jennifer and her friends.” Jennifer had told Benjamin to call her Miss Jennifer while she was with Ronnie, but now that the school year was over, Jennifer had remarked that she was okay with Benjamin calling her just her first name. 

“Oh, is that your kid?” Mina asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Daddy, what’s for dinner?”

“Irish stew,” he answered. It was one of Benjamin’s favorites, and he had bought mutton for the occasion. It was currently simmering over the stove.

“Yay!”

“Your mom’s recipe?” Jennifer asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh fuck you guys, his mom’s stew is godly.”

The next thing Ronnie knew, he was serving stew to Benjamin, Jennifer, Mina, and Sandy. 

“You guys are doing the dishes,” he muttered, sitting next to Jennifer. 

“Damn, this is good,” Sandy murmured, swallowing a mouthful. 

“I know,” Jennifer replied, glancing at Ronnie. “I take back everything I said about potatoes when we broke up.”

“You better,” he mumbled, though he was snickering.

Mina nodded. “What’s it called in Irish?”

Stobhach Gaelach,” he answered.

“How long did you guys date the first time around?” Sandy asked, sipping her beer. It was Guinness, of course.

“He asked me out mid-1964, and we broke up in fall of 1969.”

“No, you dumped me on September 1st, 1969, right as the sun was setting over the yellowed prairie.”

Both Mina and Sandy sniggered.

She groaned. “You know the exact date and time?”

“What, you don’t?”

Jennifer didn’t answer that. “Hush. I am going to enjoy your mother’s stew.”

“Do you speak Irish?” Mina then questioned.

“Yeah, but I can’t read and write in it.”

“It must be weird speaking a language that’s considered rare in its native country.”

Ronnie shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think about it.”

 Sandy and Mina left after the dishes were washed and set to dry. They took the car with them, meaning Ronnie would have to drive Jennifer in the morning. Not he minded. He got to have sex now.

It wasn’t slow or rough, more or less just greedy. He went from behind, admiring her soft and perky ass, and Jennifer went down on his after. He hadn’t expected she’d be into that. He bet that she was more surprised that he actually liked it. 

“I’ve never fucked someone who enjoyed tongue-n-ass,” Jennifer admitted, coming out of his bathroom.

Ronnie chuckled. “My tastes have expanded greatly since we dated.” Obviously, he wasn’t gonna add the reason why he was into it was due to a certain blond. 

She climbed on top of him and laid her head on his bare chest. “What's the kinkiest thing you’ve done in sex?”

He swallowed. Ronnie wasn’t interested in the whole S&M stuff. It just reminded him of the cell. And Dao. “I let someone fist me once while we 69ed.”

She was surprised. “Really?”

He nodded. “I didn’t like it.” That part was true. He hadn’t liked it at all. “We were both high. On cocaine.”

“I hope Benjamin wasn’t around.”

“Oh, I was in another country.”

“Hmm.”

“What about you?”

She blushed. “I let someone handcuff me to a bed and... uh flog me with his belt.”

Ronnie sat up and stared at her. “...Why?”

She shrugged. “It was hot.”

“Well, I’m not into that kind of stuff.”

Jennifer kissed his chest. “I know. It doesn’t bother me.”

Ronnie decided to change subjects. “Beth called earlier. She’s planning her daughter’s baptism.”

“What’s the kid’s name?”

“Rosemary, but we call her Rosie.”

She nodded. 

“She asked me to be the godfather.”

“Did you make her an offer she couldn’t refuse?”

Ronnie scoffed. “Yeah, I put a horse head in her bed.”

Jennifer snorted. “Did you like the first or second more?”

“First. Probably because I relate too much to Sonny Corleone.”

“Well, Robert De Niro’s not in the first one.” She sighed. “He’s hot. But James Caan is too. And Al Pacino.”

“Are you gonna list off the whole cast?”

She flipped him off.

He smiled. “But yeah, she called before I called you to ask me.”

“I guess she really does want to fix you guys' relationship.”

“I think so too. I haven’t seen Rosie since she was about two months old.”

“How old is she now?”

“Uh... eighteen months.”

She sighed. “I can’t see your sister as a mother. Shit, I can barely see you as a father.”

He nodded. “Agreed.” He rubbed her back gently. “You wanna come with me?”

“To Houston?”

“Yeah.”

Jennifer sighed and sat up, not bothering to cover her body. “I don’t. We’re not technically a thing, and I think it’d just make things more complicated anyway.” She smiled. “It’d be awkward if you showed up with me and said we’re not dating.”

Ronnie laid back. She was right. “Fair enough.”

“You okay with that?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He then remembered the original reason why he called her over. “I got a present for you.”

She raised a brow. “Do you?”

He smirked as he opened his nightstand and grabbed a pair of keys. “For you.”

Jennifer took it. “Are these keys to your apartment?”

“Don’t tell my landlord.”

Jennifer smirked.

Notes:

rip sonny corleone best character in the godfather i will fight people on that

also, i voted for the first time on tuesday! unfortunately, i live in one of the bible belt states, so ya know the conservative republicans won (😑) but hey, i got to exercise my right as a citizen to vote... i can't wait to move outta here.

Chapter 89: We're Just Animals in the End (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Rosie’s baptism, and while a reunion takes place, a personal conversation follows after.

CW: Sexual references, discussion of past torture, rape, American soldiers' war crimes during the Vietnam War, and other traumas (all this takes place toward the end after the ***)

Notes:

REUNION REUNION REUNION

Latvian translations in end notes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 89: We're Just Animals in the End 

 

Sunday, June 27th, 1976, Sugar Land, Texas



“Scott, can I talk to you?” Beth asked, standing over him.

Scott, who was playing with Rosie, looked up. “Hmm?”

“Privately,” she mouthed. 

Scott had been in Houston for the past week, helping with preparations for Rosie's baptism. He didn't care much for religion, but he had promised to be in his daughter's life as much as he could. And if that meant being forced to run errands for your bitchy ex-wife, he'd do it. 

He got the hint and stood up, handing Rosie to Shannon, who was sitting next to him. It was the first time he had seen her since Ronald's funeral. He’d been more than happy when both Shannon and Mary greeted him with a hug. 

“What?” He questioned when she pulled him into the hallway that led to her bedroom.

“You know Ronnie's coming.”

He looked at her. “What?”

“I told you that he and I are speaking again. I asked him to be the godfather.”

Scott swallowed. “You did?”

Beth sighed. “He doesn't know that you're here. I didn't tell either of you.” She looked up and stared into his eyes. “You are not to be alone with him at all, understand?” She lowered her voice. “You better not do something stupid.”

He stared at her. He was tempted to say that she could mind her own fucking business. “I'm not a child.”

“Please.”

“I won't, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay,” she replied, leaving the hallway.

He stood there. It had been almost a year and a half since he had last seen Ronnie. How would he react? Did Ronnie want to see him too? And if he did... Scott wasn't sure if he'd stick to what he just told Beth. He smiled. Ronnie was gonna be there.

He went back to the living room and found Valentina staring at him. “Yes?”

She shook her head, bouncing August in her lap. “What were you talking about?”

He smirked. “Oh, just Beth being Beth.”

Valentina nodded. “We should get dress soon. I believe baptism is soon as Ronnie and Benjamin arrive.”

Scott looked at the clothes he was wearing. Just a plain t-shirt and jeans. “Yeah, probably should.”

Shannon looked up from playing with Rosie. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why'd you and Beth divorce?"

Valentina suppressed a laugh.

Scott whipped around and glared at her. What do you know?

Valentina stared at him back. 

Mary, who was in the kitchen, looked up. “Honey, you don't ask people that!”

He swallowed and looked around to see if Beth was anywhere. She was not. “It's fine. Your sister and I are two very different people who got married too young. When you love someone, don't rush into marriage. Waiting can do amazing things.”

“Like not getting divorced?”

Scott bit back a laugh. “Yeah, and having to pay child support.”

“Ronnie pays child support for August, and Valentina and him never even dated.”

Valentina scoffed. “That is because Ronnie and I make very poor and impulsive decision.”

Mary nodded in agreement.

“How much do you pay in child support?” Shannon asked, picking Rosie up from the floor.

“Shannon,” Mary warned. 

Scott shook his head. “It's okay. Let's just say that this nice borderline penthouse is not paid by her secretary salary.”

Shannon looked at Beth as she came back into the living room area with Laurie. Beth was holding her purse and sunglasses. Both of them were dressed in church clothes. 

“Are you a gold digger?"

Beth blinked. “Excuse me?” She glanced at Scott, accusatory. “What did you say?”

Scott raised his hands. “I didn't say nothing.” He could hear both Mary and Valentina holding back laughter.

Laurie scoffed. “Well... you kinda are.”

Beth turned to him. “Be quiet.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Laurie and Beth left shortly after for the airport, meaning Scott would see Ronnie again in just a few hours. He changed into a suit, a simple tan one that hid any clues that he had tattoos. He helped Mary with Rosie into her white baptismal gown and held August's legs while Valentina struggled to put his little shoes on.

Ja tu neļausi man uzvilkt tavas stulbās kurpes, es zvēru pie Dieva, ” Valentina murmured harshly. 

“NO!” August replied. 

Scott still found it weird that August was the same age as Rosie. This was the first time he had met him, and it was terrifying how much his eyes looked like his father's. 

Valentina managed to get them on. “I win, mans dārgais,” she stated, picking him up and kissing his cheek. August looked very grumpy. 

Scott smiled. “Someone does not like shoes.”

“No shu,” August replied.

Both of them laughed. 

She put her son down and let him crawl as she shut the bedroom door. “I am sorry for laughing earlier. It was mean.”

“Oh... you didn't have to apologize.”

She nodded. “I do. Reason why I laugh is private business.”

Scott's face turned somber as he sat on the guest bed. “You know?” He asked quietly.

“Yes.” She gave him a small smile. “Ronnie tell me soon after August was born.”

“Really? He told you?”

Valentina shrugged. “I think he was stressed and needed say something. I suspect anyway.”

“Oh.”

She gave him a look as an image of him watching Valentina and Ronnie fuck popped into his head. Ah, those were the days.

“We were fucking bold,” he mumbled.

She smirked and cocked her head. “, you were.”

“You really don't care?”

“No. You do not choose who you love and who you want.”

Scott smiled. It was nice to have someone supportive. “That means a lot to me, you saying that.”

Valentina stood next to him and kissed his cheek, pulling his arm down so she could reach him. “You must promise me that you give me phone number.”

He laughed. “I will.”

August crawled over to Scott and used his legs to stand up.

Valentina clapped in delight. “Good job!”

He ruffled the kid's hair. “You're halfway to walking.” He had a warm feeling inside. It felt fuzzy and domestic. Was this what domestic life was? Where the fuck had he and Beth gone wrong?

Probably when you cheated and realized you were gay, his mind answered. 

He didn't argue with that. 

Everyone still at the apartment left for the church before Beth and Laurie came back. Scott soon learned that they were actually going to Mass, and the baptism would be during it. Scott was annoyed when he learned this, not by the fact she had forced everyone to attend church, but by the fact that the baptism would be public. 

The church, a small parish in Rosenberg, near Sugar Land, was smaller than the church Beth used to go to in California but larger than the chapel they had gotten married in. He stood outside with Shannon as Valentina, Eileen, and Mary spoke with Delilah, who would be the godmother, and the priest. 

There were other people outside congregating, waiting for the right time to go in. No one had recognized him yet, and he was glad. Then again, his target audience probably wasn't church-faring Catholics. He then noticed a black man around his age whom he didn't know staring at him in shock as he walked over.

“You're Scott Stern.” He had a slight Creole accent. 

Scott gave him an awkward smile. “Yeah.”

The man glanced at Shannon. “Hi, Shannon. You've gotten big.”

Shannon's eyes scrunched up in confusion. “How do you know my name?”

“We've met. When your brother was still in the government hospital.”

Her eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh, you're Bobby!”

Bobby nodded as he turned his attention back to Scott. “What a shithead,” he muttered.

“‘Cuse me?”

“Ronnie. He didn't tell me that his sister's ex-husband is you.”

“He didn't?” Scott cocked his head, realizing that Ronnie must have arrived. “Wait, he's here?”

Almost right on cue, Scott spotted a familiar-looking man with short black feathered hair. His hair was shorter than the last time Scott had seen him. Next to him were Beth, Benjamin, and Laurie. Benjamin had gotten taller. 

Scott stared at Ronnie, unsure of what to do or say. Ronnie made eye contact with him and stared back, almost in shock. So Beth hadn't told him on the way to the church. 

Beth took note immediately, turned to her brother, and started talking. Ronnie looked away, but Scott could see that his hands were shaking. 

He looked away as well, frowning. Would Beth make sure that they couldn't even talk to each other? 

Mary saw her son and waved him over, smiling. He watched as Ronnie went over with Beth and Laurie. Benjamin, who saw Scott, grinned, waved, and ran over.

“Hi, Uncle Scott!” He greeted, hugging Scott's hips. “I missed you.”

Scott smiled. “Jesus, you've gotten tall.”

“I am going to be taller than everyone,” he proclaimed. 

“I sure hope not,” Bobby replied, adjusting his bowtie. 

Benjamin then hugged Shannon before proceeding to tell the three of them all about his airplane flight over.

“I know, Benjamin. I sat across from you on the flight.”

Scott was about to ask how Bobby knew Beth and Ronnie, but the bell started ringing, summoning everyone inside the church. Scott followed everyone inside as Mary handed Rosie to him. He took his daughter and planned on sitting in the back but soon realized the front was reserved for the baptism. Shit

Beth made sure that they were never near each other. Scott was on one end of the pew, and Ronnie was on the other end, with Mary, Beth, Shannon, Delilah, her husband Steve, and Mary's sister Eileen between them. Laurie was in the pew behind him with Benjamin, August, Valentina, and Bobby. 

The music began to play, starting the service as everyone stood up. Scott didn't want to, but he adjusted Rosie in his arms as he stood up as well. 

“Dadda,” Rosie whispered.

Scott smiled but didn't reply. 

It started off as Mass would usually go, but after the gospel readings and the priest's homily, he gestured for Beth, Ronnie, Delilah, and him to go over where the holy water fountain was. It was in the back of the church, rather than the front, meaning everyone turned around and craned their necks to see. 

Delilah took Rosie from Scott, who seemed annoyed to be separated from her father. 

The priest began with a prayer as Beth and Scott stood next to Ronnie and Delilah. He almost laughed. It looked like they were still married. Minus the fact neither of them was wearing wedding rings. 

He stared at Ronnie the whole time. Still clean-shaven, while Scott had a stubble. Ronnie hated having facial hair, and as far as Scott knew, he had shaved every day. It looked like he still did. 

He had gained weight but in a healthier sense. He wasn't skinny as he used to be, and even though they were all wearing suits, Scott could see he had toned out. He started to wonder what he looked like underne-

God, stop it, he told himself. You are at your daughter's fucking baptism

Scott forced himself to look away and focus on the ceremony as the priest baptized his daughter into a religion he didn't believe in.

They had done the baptism in the evening, during the five o’clock Mass, meaning that Rosie would likely fall asleep after and miss her baptismal party. Scott had to give Beth credit for that. The party was for the adults anyway. 

Scott soon learned that Bobby had served with Ronnie and Laurie and was close with Ronnie. He happened to be flying to Houston to visit his older brother, who also happened to work with Laurie, and Beth extended the invitation.  

Ronnie was standing near the door to the balcony holding a beer bottle. He was alone, watching the scene around him. Scott gulped as they made eye contact. He quickly glanced at Beth, who was in deep conversation with Bobby and Eileen. She wasn’t watching.

He found himself walking over to where Ronnie was. His heart was pounding, and he had to clench his fists to keep them from shaking. Ronnie made no attempt to move. He merely watched Scott as he got closer. 

“Hey,” Ronnie murmured.

He swallowed. “Hey.” His heart was still pounding, loud as ever. 

They stood awkwardly, Scott unsure what to say or do. Did Ronnie feel the same way he did about him?

Ronnie coughed. “Rosie's gotten huge, huh?”

Scott tried to smile. “Yeah. 18 months.”

He looked down. “It's good to see you.”

“You too,” he replied, barely a whisper. He then glanced at Ronnie's beer bottle. “Thought you quit.”

“I unquit.”

Scott gave him a weak laugh. God, this is going terrible, he thought. 

Ronnie looked around and turned to Scott. “I'm sorry.”

Before Scott could reply or react, Bobby came over. “What y'all talkin' 'bout?”

“Uh…”

Bobby glanced back at Beth and then lowered his voice. “Your sister asked me to keep an eye on you two. Said y'all had gotten into a pretty bad fight, and she was worried something would happen if y'all were left alone.”

Scott sighed. That was the story she was telling?

Bobby then broke into a grin. “I was pretty tempted to tell her I already knew that Ronnie had the hots for his brother-in-law.”

Ronnie smacked his friend's shoulder, but Scott could see his body relax. 

Scott stared at both of them. “You know?”

“I mean, if you were my brother-in-law, I'd do the same thing.”

“Shut up, Walker,” Ronnie muttered.

Scott was confused. Ronnie never talked to anyone. Why would he open up about that to Bobby? He knew that Bobby hadn't known that he was the person in question, but not unless Bobby was—oh. “You're gay.”

“Say it a little louder, why don't ya?” Bobby replied. 

“Sorry.”

Ronnie sighed. “I know I should have told you, but-”

“That the person who your sister married was Scott Stern? Yeah, you should've.”

“Well, I wanted to respect his privacy.”

“Thanks?” Scott answered. 

“True, I would have gone batshit if you had said Scott Stern is gay, but I'm not that surprised.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You're not?”

Bobby gave him a look. “No.”

Fuck. “You're probably right. My parents were pretty suspicious until I told them upfront.”

“Really? How'd that go?”

He grimaced. “Wonder why my parents aren't here right now?”

Ronnie frowned. “I'm sorry.”

“Yeah,” Bobby replied.

“I'm okay. I can always use dollar bills to wipe my tears.”

Both Bobby and Ronnie snickered. The awkwardness looked as if it was going away. 

“Does Jennifer know that Beth used to be married to him?”

“No.”

“Who's Jennifer?”

Bobby smirked. “His ex-girlfriend he started fucking again.”

Scott cocked his head. “The one that dumped you?”

Ronnie nodded. “The very one.”

That was something. “How'd that happen?”

“She was Benjamin's kindergarten teacher.”

“Small world.”

Ronnie sighed. “Yeah. It's nothing serious, though. We're still seeing other people too.”

Scott swore Ronnie was giving him a hint. From the corner of his eye, he saw Valentina looking at them. It wasn't a judgemental stare but more of a curious one. What was she thinking? Probably what Scott had been fantasizing about for the last few hours. 

Talking to Ronnie was wonderful. They quickly got back into their routine, and Bobby was a great third party. Not to mention that Beth, who only drank the watered-down wine during church, had a few beers and was a little more than tipsy, meaning she couldn't breathe his neck every five seconds. 

“Are you sure Beth's Irish too? Thought all y'all were drinkers.” Bobby turned to Ronnie. “Or is that just you?”

Ronnie flipped him off, but Mary caught him.

She gave him a disappointed glare. He returned her glare with a smile. She rolled her eyes and told everyone good night.

Laurie glanced at his watch. “Shit, it's almost 10:30.”

Beth grinned drunkenly. “Good night!”

Scott had to bite back a laugh. 

Bobby gave her a kind smile. “Thank you for inviting me.” He gestured to Ronnie and him. “You mind if I steal these guys? My brother told me about a good bar nearby.”

Her eyes flashed between the three of them. “Well, you make better sure that no fight,” she slurred.

Scott decided at that moment that Bobby was his new best friend in the whole wide world. 

Laurie grabbed her arm. “Let's get you to bed.”

Mary came over and helped Laurie with Beth. 

Ronnie looked at the two men. “What about Benjamin?”

Valentina stepped out of the other hallway. “He asleep with August. I do not mind.” She frowned. “Be careful. All three.”

They all nodded. 

 

***

 

Scott watched Ronnie sleep. He was on his stomach, his bare back and ass curving, legs tucked in. His hair was messed up, and bruises and hickeys were beginning to form across his body. Scott thought it was the hottest thing he had ever seen in his life. 

He was sitting on a chair across from the bed, smoking. Bobby was sitting in the chair next to him, also watching Ronnie sleep. 

It was quiet, only the sound of the motel radiator creaking. 

“He looks so much younger when he's asleep,” Bobby mused quietly.

He nodded, tapping his cigarette in the ashtray on his armchair. 

“Do you know how bad his nightmares get?”

Scott swallowed and shrugged. “He's woken me up once or twice, but I don't wake him up. I don't want him to feel bad. Did you always like him?”

Bobby nodded, smiling sadly. “I had a crush on him almost right after we first met. God, even with that buzzcut, I thought he was gorgeous.” He paused, looking away from Scott. “I think it was after we were captured, and we got to know each other better, I realized I was in love with him.”

“He never talks about being a prisoner of war.”

“Well, the lieutenant colonel who was in charge was a fucking sadist and genuinely committed war crimes.”

Scott's eyes widened.

“I mean, I don't hate North Vietnam. I never did. Most of them were men with strong feelings of nationalism and their ideology and hated the foreigners. But him... he was new levels of fucked up. Even his men were scared of him.”

Bobby's sad smile turned bittersweet. “He got me to out myself to him, just for fun.”

Scott swallowed, choosing his next words carefully. “When we had the fight, he mentioned the colonel. Said that he tortured him.”

He scoffed. “He did a lot more than that.”

“Bobby... did he-” Scott paused, debating if he wanted to know the answer. “Touch you?”

Bobby nodded silently.

He turned to Ronnie's sleeping figure.

Bobby nodded again, and Scott felt sick to his stomach.

“Oh god,” he whimpered, putting his hand over his mouth. “Does he even know?”

“He does now. Said he recalled it after you and him were horsing around in Nashville.”

Scott put the cigarette back in his mouth. “I remember that... I didn't know what I had done. Suddenly, he just jumped back and pushed me. He looked so freaked out that I thought he was gonna have a panic attack.”

“Don't tell him that I told you,” Bobby mumbled. 

He nodded, and it was silent for a minute. “Are you still in love with him?”

Bobby shook his head. “I got over him. Even though we fuck now, it just feels like he's a former flame.” He glanced at Scott. “Do you love him?”

Scott was silent. He had no idea how to describe the way he felt about Ronnie. “...I don't know. Seeing him after a year and a half, I mean-” Scott broke off and sighed.

“That's okay,” he said gently. “Love is a complicated thing. Just ask Ronnie. He didn’t fall in love until after he got married.”

“What was Nguyệt like?”

“I didn't know her well,” he admitted. “I was jealous.” He then smiled. “But she was a sweet girl. Innocent and kind. I think she would have enjoyed being a mother.”

Scott frowned. “I think about her sometimes. About how many other girls have half Vietnamese babies. And how many of those were forced?”

Bobby swallowed. “I think our time there was idealized. Well, up until we arrived at Camp Hellhole. I've heard other men, other vets, talk about how they raped the women for fun. ...I saw someone show a picture of a girl he had beheaded.”

Scott put his cigarette out, revolted. “Jesus Christ.”

“Lieutenant Pope, our commanding officer, threatened all of us that if he got word that we had assaulted or raped any of the girls, he'd break our noses and make sure we got dishonorably discharged.”

“Did he mean it?”

“Yeah. Someone that I didn't know tried to, and well, Pope did what he said he would. I think he saw his daughters in those girls.”

“Huh.”

“He's never told you any of this?”

Scott scoffed. “Ronnie couldn't open up to save his life. You must be a miracle worker or something, getting him to talk.”

He shook his head again. “I think it's because we were POWs together. I've seen him at worst: starved, tortured, and suicidal.”

Bobby continued. “I already knew that he was... but I wanted him to tell me so maybe he wouldn't catch the looks of pity and horror. The lieutenant colonel told me what he did. He bragged about it. How he waterboarded him and fucked him until he was unconscious.” 

Scott's face paled. “I don't wanna know, Bobby.”

“Makes you think,” he muttered. “How evolved are we? I mean, humans are still technically animals. We hunt for food, seek shelter, fuck, fight, kill, die… rape. Over and over again. What’s the difference between us and a monkey? We figured out how to make a wheel first?”

“God, you’re getting too philosophical for me.”

Bobby smiled sadly. “You alright?”

Scott closed his eyes, tired. “I wish he talked more. God, it's been over a year since we've seen each other, and I…”

Bobby touched his hand. “I get it. I do.”

Scott nodded as he leaned to the right and turned off the lamp that had been dimly illuminating the room.

Notes:

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO MY FIRST COLLEGE YALL YAY (it’s not in my top choices, but I’m very excited :D)

Also bc Thanksgiving is this week, and I'm thankful for all y'all, I will be uploading an additional chapter on Thursday so enjoy <3

 

LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

Ja tu neļausi man uzvilkt tavas stulbās kurpes, es zvēru pie Dieva --> If you won't let me put your stupid shoes on, I swear to God

mans dārgais --> my dear

Chapter 90: Life in the Fast Lane (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Ronnie and Scott continue their “affair” as he introduces Scott to Jennifer

CW: Explicit sex, usage of queer in its og slur context (it's said joking around though) nightmare about a former abuser, usage of homophobic slur

Notes:

happy thanksgiving! y'all are super amazing and I'm so thankful for all the hits and kudos and bookmarks and comments this has—please enjoy the early update <33

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 90: Life in the Fast Lane

 

Friday, July 9th, 1976, Pasadena, California



“How come you took forever to pick me up?” Benjamin asked as they exited the YMCA. 

“Well, I wanted to work out before I got you from the daycare.”

“Do you like working out?”

“No,” Ronnie admitted. “But I like being in shape.”

“Do you have to work out to be healthy?”

“Well, you can always play sports instead.” 

Benjamin nodded. 

He unlocked the car, and both of them got it, Benjamin sitting in the seat next to his. Ronnie tossed his gym bag in the backseat before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot.

Benjamin was spending a good part of his summer at the Y. Ronnie had a membership, which made the daycare cheaper, and he could work out before going home. This meant that Ronnie and Benjamin didn't usually get home until at least 6:30, but it was the best he could do. 

Benjamin happily greeted Toby as Ronnie opened the door to their tiny apartment. The A/C had been off except for the one in the living room, meaning it was fucking hot. The phone was going off too, and Ronnie wondered how long it had been ringing to go pick it up. 

“Put Toby outside,” he told his son as he picked up the phone.

Benjamin nodded. 

“Hello?”

“I'm in town,” Scott said promptly.

Ronnie smirked. He had been more than happy to continue his “affair” with Scott after that threesome. “Where?”

“Riverside. Seeing if Mark’s down to record another album with me.”

“Is he?”

“Well, if he is,” Scott replied slowly, “that means I'll be in town for a few weeks. Maybe a couple of months.”

Ronnie yawned. “I think I'd like that.”

“Wonder where I'll stay tonight?”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “Are you inviting yourself over?”

“Hmm... yeah.”

“Well, I won’t let you in if you're not here in an hour and a half,” Ronnie answered, half-serious.

“But that's how long it takes with traffic,” he protested.

“That ain’t my problem.”

“Fuck you.”

“Bye-bye.” Ronnie put the phone down and smirked. He was tempted to call Beth and thank her for their reunion. Another idea popped into his head soon after, however, and he picked up the address book he had, flipping until he found the number. He picked up the phone and dialed, waiting for someone to pick up. 

Ronnie went into the kitchen afterward, wondering what to make for dinner. He hadn't gotten groceries in a while, and he was out of money for take-out. He opened the freezer and eyed three TV dinners. 

“Benjamin?” He called out.

“Yeah?”

“You want the fried chicken or pasta TV dinner?”

“Pasta!”

He nodded as he turned on the oven and took the TV dinners out of the freezer. While the oven heated up, Ronnie opened a can of dog food for Toby and scraped it into his doggie bowl. 

Toby heard the sound of scraping food and waltzed over to the kitchen, tail wagging. 

“Enjoy the horse meat,” Ronnie muttered, petting Toby’s head. 

Benjamin came trailing in shortly after, Nguyệt following him. Ronnie chose to once again ignore his dead wife. “What's up?”

“Is dinner ready?”

“It'll be ready in like 30 minutes, but we won't eat until Uncle Scott gets here.”

His eyes lit up, and Ronnie wondered if Benjamin was more excited to see Scott than he was. “He's coming over?”

“Mhmm.”

“Are we gonna have a sleepover?”

“I think so.” I hope so

“Yay!”

“But he can’t come over until you take a shower and put on your pajamas.”

Benjamin’s toothy grin turned into a frown. “I don't want to shower.”

“Then no TV until next Friday.”

Benjamin crossed his arms and huffed, but he left the kitchen and headed toward the bathroom. 

Ronnie bit back a laugh as he glanced at Nguyệt. “He's your son.” Ronnie may have been just as stubborn, but he was never as easily bribed as Benjamin was. Probably the reason why he got smacked all the time as a kid. 

Nguyệt obviously didn't reply, but she seemed to smile. He found it creepy.

The doorbell rang just as Benjamin left his room in his pajamas, wet hair plastered against his face. Ronnie heard his son run to the door and open it as he put forks on the table. 

“Hi!” Benjamin yelled.

“Sup,” a voice replied. Scott's. 

Ronnie walked into the living room. “Traffic bad?”

Scott nodded and closed the door behind him. He had a duffel bag swung over his shoulder and a guitar case in his left hand. “God awful.”

They gave each other an awkward side hug as Scott dropped his bag and guitar to the floor. He had cut his hair since Rosie’s baptism. Instead of his shaggy hair just below his shoulders, it was now at his neck and tousled. Ronnie had forgotten how wavy his hair was when it was shorter.

“Nice haircut.”

“Thanks. Got tired of knots.”

Ronnie pointed to the table. “Want food?”

“Oh, you didn't have to make anything.”

“Dude, it's TV dinners.”

Scott's eyes lit up. “God, I've been living off those things since I moved to New York City. Probably should learn to cook something other than fried eggs.”

“You live in New York?” Benjamin asked.

The blond man nodded. “In Manhattan.”

Dinner was mostly just Benjamin explaining what he did today. Scott asked him questions about his day and summer while Ronnie started thinking about ways to send Benjamin to bed early. This failed when Benjamin insisted they play Monopoly after they finished eating. (Scott won.) This also failed when Benjamin then demanded Scott play the guitar.

“Okay,” Scott finally said, putting down his guitar. “I think it might be bedtime for you.”

Ronnie nodded furiously.

Benjamin pouted. “But it's summer.”

“Well, Scott and I are pretty tired, so we're gonna go to bed right now too.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes,” Ronnie and Scott replied at the same time. 

Benjamin reluctantly stood up and sighed. “Okay.”

Ronnie stood up and scooped up Benjamin. “C'mon, I'll tuck you in.”

The boy wrapped his arms around his father's neck. “Good night, Uncle Scott.”

“Good night, Benjamin.”

Ronnie went into his son's bedroom and tucked him into bed. Toby followed them and curled up in his usual spot next to where Benjamin slept. He kissed his forehead and rubbed Toby's head.

Chúc ngủ ngon, ” Benjamin whispered, yawning. Good night.

Chúc ngủ ngon,” he replied, closing the door behind him. 

Ronnie immediately went to his bedroom, where he had seen Scott head toward from the corner of his eye earlier. It was halfway open, and he saw Scott sitting on the bed, smirking. 

Ronnie returned the smile as he closed the door behind him and locked it. He pulled his t-shirt from over his head and tossed it before walking toward the bed and kissing Scott harshly.

Scott pulled Ronnie on top of him, grabbing the back of his head and groaning against his lips. Ronnie instead pushed Scott onto the bed, pinning his wrists. Their noses smashed against each other as Ronnie pushed his face into Scott's, soaking his smell in. Oh god, he missed this.

Scott pulled back, gasping. “Why did we stop again?”

Ronnie started to unbutton his friend's shirt. “Because we were trying to be nice.”

“Being nice is overrated. I like being a dirty queer.”

“Agreed.”

Scott yanked off his shirt as Ronnie pulled his sweatpants to his knees. Their lips greedily made contact again, kneeling toward each other. Ronnie pulled Scott closer, their crotches and chests touching. Ronnie could feel himself growing harder by the second.

Scott trailed his lips across Ronnie's face to his neck, slipping his hand into his underwear, damp from pre-come. Ronnie groaned and bit Scott's earlobe.

“I want you to fuck me,” Scott mumbled into his neck, beginning to drag Ronnie's erect cock. 

Ronnie groaned and let go of his ear lobe. He pushed Scott onto the bed, slowly undoing his jeans. “Am I the only man who's ever fucked you?”

“Mmm,” Scott replied, closing his eyes as Ronnie pulled his jeans and underwear off of him, losing his grip around Ronnie. His hips jerked upward as his very hard cock sprung out. 

Although technically Ronnie had the same answer, he found it extremely hot. “Fucking god,” he mumbled, kicking off his sweatpants and opening his nightstand drawer to grab the faithful jar of Vaseline. He pulled down his underwear and crawled back onto the bed, seeing Scott had shifted his body, his ass facing Ronnie. 

Scott reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling their bodies next to each other, Ronnie’s dick against the back of Scott’s thighs. Scott whimpered as his body slightly trembled. 

Ronnie stroked his arm gently and leaned over to kiss his lips. Scott turned his head and wrapped his arm around Ronnie's head. “You’re okay,” he whispered, their spit mixing together. 

“Go gentle,” Scott muttered, shifting his body slightly, pulling his left leg up, his knee next to his stomach, “but not too gentle.”

Ronnie leaned and buried his face into the crook of Scott's neck. He smelled like cigarettes and expensive cologne, though it was a different cologne than the one he used to wear. It smelled even more lavish. His free hand touched the small of Scott's back, trailing down to his ass. 

“Mmm,” he muttered as Ronnie opened the Vaseline and scraped it onto his pointer and middle finger.

He looked up and pinched the back of Scott's thighs. Scott looked back, mainly at his lubed fingers.

Ronnie licked the side of Scott's head, Scott moaning in reply. “Can I touch you?”

“Oh god, yes.”

Sucking his breath in, Ronnie placed a finger next to his asshole, slowly making circles around the rim. Scott flinched at the touch and clenched his lower half.

“Shh,” he soothed, rubbing his other hand across Scott's side hip, fingers dancing across his dragon tattoo. 

“Fuck,” Scott rasped. 

Ronnie slid a finger in, pushing against the muscle. Scott shuddered and grabbed Ronnie's upper thigh. Ronnie pushed his finger in and out slowly, sliding his other finger when it felt a bit looser. Scott had his neck craned, watching him, his finger. He breathed loudly and bit his lip. 

Ronnie began making scissoring motions, causing Scott to buck his hips and gasp. “Jesus.”

Ronnie licked Scott's neck. “You're so fucking tight.”

Scott smirked. “I’m starting to get nervous about how your dick's gonna feel in there.”

Ronnie smirked back, added a third finger, and twisted, hitting his prostate. 

Scott screwed his eyes shut and gasped.

Ronnie slowly started taking his fingers out and positioning his cock. 

Scott opened his eyes as he felt the fingers leave his body. 

“Tell me you want me to fuck you,” he whispered into his ear, rubbing his cock with more Vaseline. 

Scott's eyes darted up. “Fuck you.”

“I think you mean fuck me.”

They made eye contact, and Ronnie gave him a sly smile. He felt like being an asshole. 

The blond man sighed. “Goddammit, just fuck me, you fucking drunkard.”

“Hey, no need to be rude.”

He just rolled his eyes and pulled Ronnie's head down so he could kiss him. Scott kissed him vigorously as Ronnie put the tip of his cock on Scott's rim, pinkish-red from the recent usage. Gripping Scott's waist and the back of his head, Ronnie thrust forward, both men groaning into each other's mouths.

Scott was tight, and his muscles were trying to push him out. Ronnie thrust again, letting go of Scott's face and laying his head on his shoulder, panting.

“You are so fucking tight,” he breathed out.

Scott wrapped his hand around his cock. “You fucking hurt.”

Ronnie paused, concerned. “Want me to stop?”

Scott glanced up and grabbed Ronnie's hand, their fingers lacing together. “No.”

He nodded and thrust again, forcing his cock to hit Scott's prostate. 

Scott started jerking himself off, moaning as Ronnie slowly quickened his pace. Ronnie reached his hand over and cupped Scott's balls, massaging and squeezing them, gently yet firmly. Being in Scott felt so good. Maybe it was the egotistical part of himself talking, reveling in the fact that his cock was the only one that had been in Scott. The only person who touched him in places no one else had. 

Ronnie matched the pace of his thrust to Scott's hand. Their lips smashed into each other, moaning and whimpering into each other's tongues and teeth. Ronnie swung his left leg around him, getting a better angle to fuck him. Scott was panting loudly now, making guttural noises as he buried his face into the pillow, tightening his grip on Ronnie's hand.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasped, looking up. 

Ronnie almost came from the sight of him. His hair was disheveled, there were beads of sweat on the side of his face, and yet, he looked so innocent and equally needy that Ronnie wanted to fuck him until they both passed out from exhaustion. Instead, he nodded. 

“Me too. Can you hold on for like another 30 seconds?” He asked between pants. 

He shook his head, still fucking himself into his hand. “No.”

In reply, Ronnie started going faster, his hips slamming into Scott, the hand around Scott's ballsack tugging and squeezing, doing the same. Scott was a moaning mess at that point, which reminded Ronnie that he had a sleeping kid two doors down. He let go of Scott's hand and covered his mouth.

"You'll wake him up," he whimpered as his stomach tightened. 

Scott's muffled groans turned into muffled whimpers and cries as he finally let go of his cock, coming into his and Ronnie's hand. Ronnie wasn't that far behind him, burying his face into his neck, crying out, and then coming into Scott. When both of them finished spilling out their goods, Scott started laughing quietly.

“What?” Ronnie asked tiredly, slowly pulling out.

“I've missed you.”

Ronnie kissed Scott's temple, smiling. “Me too.”

 

***

 

He was in the room again. The dirty concrete room with the metal table and the black chair, its leather peeling off and cracked. Ronnie lay on the humid floor, struggling to breathe.

No, he thought. Not here

He looked up and saw Dao sitting next to the metal table, smoking a cigarette. A wave of fear ran through his body.

No, this isn't real, he told himself. This is a bad dream.

He managed to push himself up and stand up. See? This is a dream. You were too weak to do this.

Dao seemed to notice his presence. “You're awake.”

“You're not real. I'm dreaming.”

The older man laughed. “Are you?”

Ronnie swallowed, fear turning into anger. “I’m gonna fucking kill you,” he stated, moving toward him.

Dao did not move and merely flicked his cigarette onto the floor. “You can try.”

Before he could wrap his hands around his neck, the dream shifted, and Ronnie found himself over the table, Dao right behind him. He froze as the memory replayed in his head. 

“No,” he breathed out, turning himself around and kicking Dao in the leg. 

He didn't waver, however, and stood there. He smirked and touched the back of Ronnie's neck.

Ronnie tried to recoil in disgust, but Dao's grip was firm. 

He began to tremble as a flood of memories and emotions washed over him. He was twenty one again, weak and terrified. 

Dao leaned forward. “And it looks like you turned out to be to a faggot like your friend. Maybe you should thank me.” He leaned into his ear. “Maybe you're denying that you enjoyed our time together. I know I did.”

Ronnie barely noticed that he switched languages. 

Dao's free hand stroked Ronnie's cheek, wiping the tear spilling out his eye. “Don't be afraid.”

Ronnie began to pant loudly, beginning to panic. Not again. God, please. No. Wait- His panic made him realize that he was still in control of his body. He could fight back. He shoved Dao, and he actually fell backward.

He then glanced back at the metal table and saw the bamboo knife. He grabbed it and threw it at Dao. The knife landed in Dao's chest, staining his uniform shirt in red. 

He gasped, falling back into the black chair. He looked back up at Ronnie. “I'll see you in hell, you faggot.”

Ronnie looked away. Standing in the corner was the Viet Cong he had killed. Ronnie hadn't seen him in his dreams since he left Vietnam. They stared at each other until he held up three of his fingers. Three kills.

Sát thủ,” the man spoke, staring into Ronnie's soul. Killer.

He felt his knees buckle as his vision turned black. 

Ronnie opened his eyes and gasped loudly, sitting up and staring at his bedroom door. He wasn't in Vietnam. He was in his bed, and Scott was asleep next to him. 

He buried his face into his hands and took deep breaths. It wasn't real. It was just a dream. You're okay, he told himself over and over again.

When his heart was beating at a normal rate, Ronnie put his hands down and glanced at his clock. 7:30. At least it wasn't three in the morning. The back of Ronnie's mind made a mental note to not go to bed with just a can of Bud Lite. 

Scott was passed out, and Ronnie could see drool spilling out of his mouth and onto the pillow. He smiled sadly. Waking up and having Scott be the first thing he saw was nice again, nightmare or not. It was more than nice. It was wonderful. 

He leaned back down next to Scott's face. He was so pretty when he slept, and he had an urge to kiss him, his brain seemingly forgetting what he had just dreamt. Kissing Scott was like a drug. It was addicting and made him forget about everything for a few seconds. 

Scott groaned and kissed him back. “Mmm.”

Ronnie licked his cheek. “Morning to you too.”

“What time is it?” Scott's voice was groggy from sleep.

7:30-ish.”

Scott shut his eyes even tighter and pushed Ronnie away. “Fuck off, I ain't getting up.”

Ronnie reluctantly nodded. “Suit yourself,” he mumbled, hiding his disappointment. He honestly did not want to shower alone. 

He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, turning on the showerhead. He yawned, rubbing his naked arms. A few minutes ago, he dreamt that he killed Dao. Now he was waiting for his shower to heat up. 

He then heard a pair of footsteps entering the bathroom.

“Thought you wanted to sleep,” Ronnie muttered as Scott leaned on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his stomach.

“Realized as soon as Benjamin is up, we won't be able to do this.”

“Yeah,” Ronnie replied quietly, leaning back and closing his eyes.

“You okay?”

“Had a bad dream.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

Scott sighed. “Of course you don't.”

Ronnie stepped away from him. “I won't give you the best shower handjob of your life if you keep asking questions.”

Scott laughed, though Ronnie could tell he was concerned. 

They were both on their second bowl of Frosted Flakes when Benjamin came out of his room with Toby. Ronnie let the dog out and poured Benjamin a bowl before asking Scott the big question.

“You free tonight?”

“Why?”

“I made dinner reservations with Jennifer.”

Scott cocked a brow, vexed. “You want me to babysit?”

“Yay!” Benjamin cheered. 

He scoffed. “No, dumbass, I'm asking if you wanna come. I already had the reservations, but I called and added a third person.”

“When?”

“As soon as you called me.”

Scott nodded. “Does your girl know?”

Ronnie then realized he had forgotten to tell her. “I should probably call her.”

Scott laughed as he stood up and went over to the phone. 

“Hello?” Layla asked when the phone picked up.

“Can you give the phone to Jennifer?”

Layla groaned. “Stop taking Jennifer out when it's her turn to do dinner and the dishes.”

“Saturday is usually my only free day. Leave me alone.”

“Will she be staying at yours tonight?”

Ronnie glanced at Scott. “Uh... no. I got a friend staying with me right now.”

Layla seemed content with his answer and called Jennifer over. 

“Is there something wrong with the reservations?” Jennifer asked as soon as Layla handed her the phone.

“Uh, no. I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“My former brother-in-law's in town, and I wanted to know if you'd be okay if he joined us for dinner.”

Jennifer sighed. She sounded slightly annoyed. “Beth's ex-husband?”

“Well, considering Shannon is 14, yeah, he is. Scott's one of my closest friends.”

Scott looked up and genuinely beamed.

She paused. “Is he hot?”

Ronnie laughed. “Yeah.”

Jennifer was quiet for a minute. “Yeah, I'm okay with that, as long as he wears something nice. That goes for you as well.”

Ronnie ran to the dry cleaners and the laundromat shortly after ending the phone call with Jennifer. He picked up his suit and did laundry while Scott watched Benjamin. He had told Ronnie that he did have a suit on him, so he didn't have to buy one. When he came back, Scott had written chords for a song Benjamin made up, and Toby was attempting to be backing vocals. 

“You guys are weird,” was all he replied when they showed him. 

They then spent the rest of the afternoon watching football and basketball games on the TV. When it was time to get ready and go, Scott got dressed first and then hung out in his car to avoid interaction with Olivia, who Ronnie knew liked Scott enough to have gone to one of his concerts. On that note, Ronnie also knew Jennifer too liked Scott and had told him that she had seen him four times and had all of his albums. She was gonna hate him when he found out who the ex-brother-in-law was.  

“Where are we eating?” Scott asked when Ronnie got into the car.

“The Pacific Dining Car.”

“That place is fucking expensive. And I'm saying that.”

“Are you offering to pay?”

Scott eyed him. “I'll pay for myself, okay?

Ronnie wasn't in the mood to hear Scott complain about being rich, so he just nodded. “I guess you're driving?”

Scott started his rental car. “It's on 6th Street, right?”

“Yup, but we're picking up Jennifer first.”

Scott opened his car door. “Okay, then you drive.”

They switched seats, and Ronnie left the apartment complex.

“Will she get a kick out of me?”

“Oh, she'll hate me for not saying anything.” Ronnie grinned evilly. “She's seen you four times and has all of your albums. It was quite difficult explaining why I didn't want to have sex to your music.”

Scott laughed. “God, you're such a dick.”

When they got closer to Jennifer's house, Ronnie made Scott sit in the back. In the front of the house, a tall woman stood wearing a gold sleeveless sarong dress. 

“Is that her?”

“Yup.”

“Is she wearing a Halston?”

“That's the whole reason why we're going out tonight. It's her first designer, and she hasn't shut up about it. It's funny because I think she considers herself a borderline socialist. How'd you know?”

“I know Halston,” Scott replied.

Ronnie cocked a brow as he waved at Jennifer. “Really?”

“Yeah, Andy Warhol introduced me to him.”

“You know Andy Warhol?”

Scott smiled. “Yeah, David Bowie introduced me to him.”

“I hate you.”

Jennifer walked over to the car and opened the door. “When did you get such a nice car?”

“Oh, it's his,” Ronnie said, pointing to Scott in the back. “This is Scott.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jennifer said politely, sitting down and buckling up. 

“You too.”

Ronnie started driving, trying very hard not to laugh.

Jennifer's face then went slack, and her eyes widened. She jerked her head around. “OH MY FUCKING GOD!”

Ronnie winced from the sudden loudness but continued driving. This was going to be fun.

Notes:

i got contacts instead of my usual glasses and oml is this how everyone sees normally??? also i think this sex scene is like of the best iv written (which isn't saying much, but whatever)
For Context

The Pacific Dining Car --> Long-standing steakhouse offers in a 1920s railcar. It's closed today, but you can order food from there still, and yeah, it's expensive as hell.

Halston --> Roy Halston, like one the biggest designers in the 1970s, y'all should watch Halston on Netflix it's so chaotic—like he invented the flamboyant gay fashion designer stereotype

Chapter 91: A Visit Home (Voll II, Part III)

Summary:

Laurie and Beth’s relationship takes a leap, and Ronnie attempts to open up to Jennifer about their future.

CW: Sexual references, VERY brief mention of a past abusive relationship (fuck ronald sr all my homies hate ronald sr), mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, usage of a homophobic slur. (the conversation at the end is pretty emotional heads up)

Notes:

one more chapter before this part ends!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 91: A Visit Home

 

Early October 1976, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



“Are you sure you don't need help in the kitchen?” Beth asked as she watched her mother disappear into the kitchen with Barbara.

“No, we're fine, sweetheart,” Mary replied. 

Beth eyed Laurie, who shrugged. 

“Maybe they’re being nice because of Rosie.”

Beth stared at her daughter, who was sitting in Shannon's old highchair, sucking her thumb. 

The older women came back out with club sandwiches and cups of coffee. Beth wasn't an avid coffee drinker, but she wasn't used to Nebraska's fall anymore and was more than glad to have something warm to drink. 

“Thank you, Mary,” Laurie said, taking a plate and a cup of coffee from her. 

They sat down as Barbara gave Rosie a sandwich cut up into little pieces. 

“Laurie told me that you're planning to move to the west coast soon,” Beth remarked to Barbara after it had been silent for a while.

She nodded. “Not just yet, but I'm thinking Washington. I have some old friends there. I'm tired of Nebraska.”

Mary agreed. “I wasn't planning on saying this just yet, but I will likely move back home after Shannon goes to college.”

Beth was surprised. “Really?”

“I've wanted to for quite some time.”

Beth sat back. She'd known that her mother had always wanted to go back to Ireland, but she never thought she'd go back. She'd thought it was one of those half-baked notions like how Laurie wanted to buy a Ford Model A or how her friend Sophia wanted to buy a beach house in Florida; Beth doubted it would ever actually happen. 

“Huh,” Laurie mumbled. “Where's Shannon, anyway? It is a Saturday, right?”

“Friend's house. She'll be back before dinner.”

“How long have y'all been datin’?” Barbara asked, her Missouri accent poking through a bit.

“Uh... ‘bout a year and a half.”

She turned to Mary. “I always knew they would date eventually.” She turned to the young couple. “Laurie used to groan whenever I'd tease him about it.”

Laurie's ears turned slightly pink. “Ma…”

Beth smiled. “I never thought we'd date, but here we are.”

“Are you both happy?” Mary asked sincerely. 

Beth grabbed Laurie's hand, who wrapped his fingers around hers. “Yes,” they answered together. Beth tried not to blush.

Barbara grinned. “I'm glad.”

After lunch, Mary and Barbara offered to babysit Rosie while she and Laurie spent some alone time together. Beth was more than glad to let the older ladies take care of her toddler. She waited in their rental car while Laurie was still inside, speaking to them. When he came out eventually, he had a big dopey grin on his face.

“What?” She asked as he got in the driver's seat and started the car.

“Oh, nothing,” he replied, almost in a sing-song voice. 

“Sure,” Beth muttered. 

He drove them out of the street and into the small town, going past the places they went to in their youth.

“God, this place hasn't changed a bit.”

She nodded as they drove down Main Street. He was right. It still looked like it did twenty years ago. The only change was the cars parked outside. 

Laurie stopped and parked the car when they drove by Ridge's Creek High School. “Fuck, even this place looks the same.”

Beth nodded. “I barely think about high school nowadays.”

Laurie sighed. “I do. Sometimes too much.”

Beth leaned on his broad shoulder. 

“I was a popular football player with a cheerleader girlfriend, albeit she annoyed the piss out of me.”

“What was her name again?”

“Imogene.” He shuttered. “Every day, I thank God for that guy she ended up marrying.” He swallowed. “But what am I now? The last thing I wanna be is someone who peaked in high school.”

“Well, you're an engineer, you live in Texas with a nice apartment, and you're dating me.”

Laurie considered this. “Maybe I didn't peak in high school after all.”

“I'm glad high school's over,” Beth mused, thinking of Daniel and Carrie. “A lot of stuff happened to me then.”

“Ready to leave then?”

“Yes.”

Laurie pulled out of the parking lot and drove away. They kept driving until they found themselves by the lake. Laurie parked the car in the trampled grass, and the two of them got out. It was in the low 60s, meaning it was way too cold to swim but nice enough just to sit back and lay in the grass. It was surprisingly warm for a Nebraskan October. 

Beth watched the water skirt back and forth on the banks near where they were sitting. It was quiet, other than the wind blowing the grass and the singular tree which they were under. No one else was there. It was wonderfully peaceful. 

Laurie took off his jacket and pointed to the tramped path that led to the burnt barn. “Wanna go there?” He asked, waggling his eyebrows. 

Beth's face turned dark. “No.”

Laurie bit back a laugh. “Just kiddin’,” he whispered, leaning down and pecking her lips. 

She kissed him back. She felt Laurie smile against her lips.

“I love you,” he said, leaning forward and tucking a piece of hair behind her left ear. It wasn't the first time he had said that, but it made Beth's heart flutter every time he spoke those three words. 

The way she loved Laurie was different from the way she had loved Scott. It felt more solid, more realistic. Scott had been a fantasy. Laurie was real. He didn't make her feel small or silly for her beliefs, even if Scott hadn't intended to do so. It was a healthier relationship. A happier one.

Beth leaned into his hand, smiling gently. “I love you too.”

Laurie stroked her cheek, pushing himself closer. 

She pulled away, remembering the question she'd wanted to ask earlier. “Why did you pull Mom and Barbara aside?”

Laurie shrugged. “Wanted to ask something.” He leaned forward and kissed her again, this time with a bit more passion.

Beth grabbed the back of his head and pushed him forward, their noses smashing against each other. Laurie bit her lip, and his hands wrapped around her back. She whimpered. 

Beth and Laurie still hadn't had actual sex yet. They had showered naked, gone to second/semi-third base, and handjobs, but never intercourse. There were times when Beth had been greatly tempted, but she had made a promise to herself for the sake of her well-being and religion. 

Laurie wrapped his hand around her side and brushed against her upper thigh with his thigh. 

Beth turned away from him. “We shouldn't.”

Laurie rested his forehead against her cheek. “We've been this good, and I love you.”

Beth could almost sense the levels of horniness radiating off of Laurie. She stroked his cheek. “I want to, but I promised myself.”

Laurie kissed her temple. “What if we were engaged?”

Beth leaned back and looked at him. “What?”

“I wanna marry you, Beth.”

Beth stared at him in shock. She couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. “You wanna marry me?”

“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” He grinned slyly. “I also really wanna have sex with you.”

He got on one knee. “Wonder what I was asking our moms?”

She turned bright pink.  “Oh my.”

Laurie reached over and picked a yellow sagebrush buttercup. He held the buttercup up to Beth, who was still sitting. “Beth, will you marry me? I'll get you a ring later.”

She stared at him and took the flower. “Yeah, I'll marry you,” she chattered, suddenly feeling cold. “But I'm freezing.”

He laughed and went over to her, rubbing her arms and kissing her neck.

Beth sighed, smiling. She was engaged. Again.

 

Saturday, October 16th, 1976, Eastern Nebraska

 

“You're squishing me,” Jennifer grumbled, shoving Scott away from her.

“No, you are,” he replied, shoving her back.

Ronnie groaned. “You guys are going to make me crash if you keep shoving each other.”

Isaac laughed. “Imagine the headline: Rockstar Scott Stern found dead along with five other people we don't care about in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

Everybody in the car snickered. 

Within the two short weeks that Beth and Laurie had gotten engaged, they had also decided just to go ahead and get married. It would be in a courthouse, and they would have an actual church wedding sometime in the next year. Ronnie found it weird that they were actually getting married, but they both seemed to be very happy. 

He was now stuck driving from Omaha to Ridge's Creek with Jennifer, Scott, Isaac, Bian, and Bobby. Benjamin had gone with his grandmother a few days prior, and the Rosenbergs had left their two children with Isaac's parents. He hadn't minded driving or flying with them. It had actually been a lot of fun. Plus no kids to be responsible for. In the car Scott had so kindly rented, there were three in the front seat and three in the back. Jennifer was squashed between Ronnie and Scott, while Bian was between Isaac and Bobby. 

“Are you sure your sister and Laurie are okay with Isaac and me coming? I do think it would be quite awkward.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot you and Laurie were a thing,” Bobby muttered, mostly to himself.

“I have to agree,” Isaac replied. “I've seen Laurie once since we came home, and I barely know your sister.”

“Eh, whatever,” Ronnie replied. “I told you guys earlier: I'll need friends there. Besides, it's not like we’re wedding crashing. Bobby, Scott, and I were invited, and we can bring a plus one.”

Jennifer cocked her head. “I didn't get invited?”

“Well... they don't know we're kinda back together.”

Ronnie felt everyone's eyes on him.

“Why?” Jennifer demanded.

“A surprise?”

“I thought you told Valentina,” Bobby interjected. 

Ronnie nodded. “Yeah, she knows, but no one else. And before any of you guys ask, they know you're coming too.”

“Valentina is your other son's mother?” Bian asked.

“Yeah.”

The car was silent. Jennifer had been the last to know about August, considering he had told Isaac and Bian he was gonna have another kid when he spent Christmas with them two years ago. Only Bobby and Scott knew how Ronnie and Valentina met, and Ronnie knew he needed to tell Jennifer sometime soon, but he was worried that she'd be disgusted. Any normal person would. 

“What's she like?” Bian asked after another minute of silence.

Ronnie mentally thanked her. 

“Shy yet equally bold,” he then answered. 

Jennifer nodded. She had been miffed that he hadn't told her earlier, but then she had told him that she didn't mind him having another kid and wanted to meet him. He wondered how she'd feel when he told her that Valentina was his former stepmother. He wanted her in his life again, and he did not plan to fuck it up. Again.

“Where are we all staying? Your mom's place?” Bobby asked.

“Well, presumably my mom's, but it'll be really tight,” Ronnie replied.

“You guys can stay at my parents' place if you want. It has six bedrooms.”

Ronnie glanced at Jennifer, surprised. “Your dad would die of a heart attack if four strangers slept at his place.”

“Well, then it's a good thing my mom and dad are out of the state visiting my sister and her husband.”

“Oh.” He turned the wheel. “How is Pamela?”

“Pregnant with baby number three.”

“You have a sister?” Bian asked.

“Yeah, she's three and a half years older than me.”

Ronnie was not aware that Vince and Pamela had another kid. “When did number two happen?”

“Florence. She was born in 1973.”

He nodded. He thought it was weird that Jack and Georgina were grandparents, but then again, his mother was too, and she was younger than both of them. 

They arrived in Ridge's Creek three hours before the ceremony. Frost from the morning had melted, and all the grass and trees were covered with dew. He pulled up on his mother's driveway as Shannon, Mary, Beth, Eileen, Valentina, and Benjamin stepped outside. Rosie was in Mary's arms while August was in his mother's. They all waved at the car. 

“Hello,” Mary greeted as everyone got out of the car. Her eyes focused on Jennifer, and she raised her eyebrows. “Jennifer?”

Jennifer smiled. “Hiya,” she replied as she grabbed Ronnie's hand and laced their fingers together.

Ronnie smiled, though he could feel Scott staring behind him. “Surprise.”

Beth looked at both of them and smiled approvingly. Ronnie wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Benjamin walked to Ronnie and hugged his leg before greeting his aunt and uncle. That reminded Ronnie to introduce them.

“This is Isaac and Bian Rosenberg, my brother and sister-in-law,” he gestured. "And you know Bobby."

Isaac and Bian smiled and nodded. 

He pointed to each person. “That's my youngest sister Shannon, my mother Mary, my Aunt Eileen, you've met Beth, and this is Valentina and my son August.”

“It's nice to meet all of you,” Isaac said as Mary forced him and Bian into a side hug. 

Mary then greeted Scott and Bobby before turning back to Isaac. “Rosenberg. Are ya Jewish?”

He nodded. “Yes, ma'am.”

She frowned. “A lot of the dishes have pork. We eat a lot in Ireland. I'll label the meat dishes that don't have any, but if I highly doubt the rest of the meat is kosher, which could have been avoided if someone had said something about dietary restrictions,” Mary said, glaring at Ronnie.

Ronnie's ears turned red. “Sorry.”

Isaac shook his head. “No, it's fine. Thank you for that.”

“Come inside everyone,” Eileen motioned. “Soup's getting cold.”

Everyone followed her and Mary inside. 

 

***

 

The wedding was a quiet affair compared to Beth's first one. She wasn't even wearing white but rather a nice navy blue dress and a peacoat. Neither Beth nor Laurie decided to have a wedding party, so they both walked up alone in the courthouse hall. 

Laurie looked nice too, though Ronnie still couldn’t fucking believe he was married to Beth. He wore a suit the same color as Beth's dress. Ronnie wondered if it was on purpose. Other people were already at the courthouse when Ronnie had arrived, friends of Laurie and Beth he had met at Rosie's baptism or just didn't know. Aunt Moira was there too, but Líadan couldn't make it. She had promised she'd be there for the church wedding the following year. 

They had the reception at the Parkers’, with permission of course. Ronnie knew the only reason why Jack had let them was because he wasn't there to see it. Still, the place looked just as big as Ronnie remembered. The rich wood floors and walls just accented the theme of a fall wedding. 

Jennifer took charge of housekeeping, making sure people only stayed on the first floor. She chatted with the older women, explaining how she and Ronnie had reunited. Ronnie then retold the tale to Laurie and Beth, but he was careful not to say they were dating, only seeing each other again. 

Their relationship had gotten to a point where Ronnie knew and wanted to go deeper and more serious, but he was enjoying the benefits of having Scott around with no guilt. He could fuck either, and there'd be no consequences. Too bad his brain wanted something more. Maybe it was tired of Nguyệt, who was currently following Benjamin around. 

He stood with Bian, Isaac, Bobby, and Valentina, talking. Isaac had only spoken to Laurie twice, but he seemed to be less worried about awkwardness. They were both in love with different women and didn't care about the past. 

“What part of Russia are you from?” Isaac asked.

Valentina shook her head. “I am not Russian. I am Latvian.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No, even other Baltic country people ask me that. I learn English from Russian, not Latvian, so I speak like Russian.”

“So you like have to translate words in your head Latvian to Russian to English?” Bobby asked.

She nodded. “Why I speak slow sometimes.”

Everyone else grimaced. 

“I already have trouble translating English to Vietnamese and back in my head, but a buffer language in between? I could not do that,” Bian mused, sipping her glass of wine.

Valentina shrugged. “Hence why I cannot speak English when I am very drunk.”

Ronnie nodded. The last time she had come and stayed with him, they had gotten drunk, and Ronnie had no idea what the hell she was saying. He sometimes thought about asking about what she had and if it had been important, but he highly doubted she’d remembered. He usually didn’t. 

“Bian can't speak English when she's drunk either. There's been times where I've had to call Ronnie and ask for help on translating.”

Bian blushed while Ronnie laughed. “Yeah, but it's funny though. Slurred Vietnamese should be its own language.”

“And slurred English should not be?” Bian asked, raising her eyebrows.

Valentina nodded in agreement. 

“Y'all are lucky. You've never heard drunken slurred Deep South speak. It's a fuckin' nightmare. White and black people.” Bobby shuddered.

“Well, I've heard Scott when he's drunk, and his Texan accent gets stronger, but you can still understand it.”

“Well, his ain’t as strong. Louisiana is like the buffer between Texas and the rest of the South, so I can like understand strong Texan and Southern accents.”

Scott stopped walking and cut into the conversation. “You should hear my father when he's drunk. It's like there's no such thing as annunciation or words that end in I-N-G.”

“Same with my mama,” Bobby muttered before pointing at Ronnie. “You have a slight Irish accent when you're shit-faced.”

Ronnie looked at him. “No, I don't.”

“Yeah, you do,” Scott answered. “And when you're really fucking pissed off.”

“No, I don't,” he repeated, looking at them weirdly. He did not have an accent when he was drunk or angry. 

“Yes, you do,” all of them answered.

He glanced at Bian. “How would you know?”

“Do you remember Nguyệt and I’s 19th birthday?”

Nguyệt looked up.

“No.”

Isaac butt in. “Well, you got super fucking drunk and sang an Irish drinking song for us. Sounded like a leprechaun.”

“Even if I didn't remember it, you guys would have brought it up all the time.”

“Well, we thought it'd be funny if we didn't,” Bobby explained, looking sheepish.

“Is that why everyone gave me funny looks through July and August?”

“Yes,” Bobby and Isaac replied. 

Ronnie sighed. “Fuck you guys.”

Jennifer noticed them crowded in a nook and came over. “What are you guys talkin' about?”

“That I apparently have a slight Irish accent when I'm super drunk or angry.”

“You didn't know that?”

He scowled. “I do now.”

“Hey!” Laurie called from the opposite side of the hall. “It's my wedding, attention should be on me!”

Beth and Barbara's faces turned pink.

“He's definitely drunk,” Scott remarked.

Everyone else snickered. 

Ronnie sighed and turned to Valentina and Jennifer as the group separated. “We should probably talk.”

Valentina nodded grimly. 

Scott gave him a good luck face before walking away. 

“Somewhere private?” Jennifer asked. 

“Yeah.”

She led them to Jack's office and opened its big doors. Valentina followed her inside as Ronnie shut the doors. Nguyệt had started to follow, and though she was a figment of Ronnie's imagination, he liked to think that she couldn't go through walls. 

He sighed and stared at the two women. This was going to go to shit either way.

“Valentina used to be married to my father.”

Jennifer's eyes widened, but she didn't speak.

“We obviously had sex, and August was the result.”

She swallowed, adjusting to this new information. “Was it before or after he bit the dust?”

“Before,” Valentina replied quietly. 

“So you fucked your younger stepmom and got her pregnant?”

“Yes.” His voice was barely a whisper. 

She sighed and leaned against her father's desk. “I suspected something when I learned one of Valentina’s last names was McKittrick.”

Valentina looked down. “I love my son, and I am glad that Ronnie is father and not Ronald. Ronald was abusive and cruel. If you and Ronnie are taking relationship next step, I want August part of it.”

Jennifer nodded and looked at both of them. “I won't judge either of you.” She bit her lip and scratched the back of her head. “The reason why I ruined my relationship with the boyfriend I had after Ronnie was because I slept with his father, so I think it'd be hypocritical if I judged you.”

Ronnie stared at her. He hadn't been expecting that.

“People make mistakes, and I'm glad both of you together told me.” 

He sighed in relief. 

Valentina smiled. “I will leave you.”

She left the room as quickly as she came, shutting the large doors behind her. 

Jennifer smirked. “I heard that sigh of relief.”

“God, that's been eating me for days.” He came and sat next to her on the desk. “We do need to talk. Me and you.”

“Yeah.” She paused. “I think me being here is a clear sign that both of us want to have a more serious relationship.”

He agreed. “I want us to be more than fuck buddies who go on dates. Being with you again has made me realize how much I missed you. How much I wanted you. How much I loved you.” He swallowed. He meant what he said, but all he could think was how Scott would react.

Jennifer smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. “To think we got back together anyway.”

Ronnie smirked and sighed.

She lifted her head. “What is it?”

Ronnie pushed himself off the desk. “It'll be different. I'm different. You're different.”

“Well, that's normal. We're not teenagers anymore.”

“But I haven't been that person in a very long time. If 19 year old me could look at me now, I don't think I'd recognize myself.” Ronnie cracked his knuckles. “You're gonna have to deal with things that weren't even a thought back then. I'm fucked up. I'm not a good person.”

Jennifer frowned. “Ronnie…”

“I’m not. The only relationship I've had where I didn't cheat was Nguyệt, and that was probably because out of the 10 months we were married, she was pregnant 7 of them. Honestly, I don't think we would have had a happy marriage if she hadn't died. She barely knew me. She didn't know who I was or the things I had done. I was a crush turned into a reality. I don't even know now if I really even loved her.” He paused. “I did. I did love her. For a time. But not the way I felt about you. You're-you're the only woman I've truly loved.”

Jennifer was silent. She just stared at him, watching the words fumble out of his mouth. 

“I took advantage of Valentina's distressed state, and I fucked her. Yes, I asked, but I knew she was not in a good place. I don't- I don't open up, and it was a problem the first time around, but I just... I just can't. I've talked about Vietnam a total of two times, and the first time was during an argument, and I just lost it. I ruined the relationship I had with someone very close to me because I had an affair with their spouse, and the worst thing is I'm still not fucking sorry about it.” 

He paused briefly. “I'm an alcoholic, and I have a problem with sleeping pills. I can't go to sleep sober because I have really bad nightmares, and they're just getting worse. I think I'm capable of killing outside of war. I'm a sex addict. I'm- Imma-” Ronnie broke off, panting. I'm a faggot, and the only other person whose feelings I have that are just as complex as the ones I have about you is my fucking sister's ex-husband.

Jennifer rushed up to him. “Hey, shhh,” she spoke gently, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

Ronnie didn't realize he was crying until he buried his face into her neck. He felt her wrap her hands around his head, fingers running through his hair. 

The familiar scent of rose water filled his nose and ran through his senses. He held on to her tighter, letting his sobs come out. He had never cried like this in front of her before. 

She whispered gentle things in his ear. Her voice was rich yet soothing, peaceful yet steady. 

When his sobs began to turn into sniffles, and his heart rate had slowed to a normal pace, Ronnie stepped back, wiped his face, and cracked a sad smile. “I'm sorry.”

Jennifer shook her head. “Don't be.”

He rubbed his nose and sniffed. 

“Nobody's perfect, Ronnie. I'm certainly no angel.” Jennifer smiled. “But that's what makes us human, and believe me, I've made my fair share of shitty choices.” She paused and looked down. “There's things I haven't told you since we started this again. And it's not cause I don't want to, but it's just hard to talk about, even with someone you love.”

“You love me?”

She nodded, wiping her face. “Yeah, I love you.”

“It's been almost six years since someone told me that.”

“Oh, Ronnie,” she whispered, reaching out and taking his right hand, slightly dragging him forward.

He smiled sadly. 

“We can't do what we did last time 'round. Never talk about the shit that really trouble's us until the last second.”

“I know.”

She stepped forward and took his other hand. “Then let's make a deal. We have a conversation like this every so often, and we tell each other something whether it’s super important or not.”

He hesitated. “...How often?”

She shrugged. “I don't know... once a month?”

He looked down. The secretive, stubborn part of him wanted to say no, but he knew she was right. Things would end quickly if he couldn't force himself to talk just a little bit. “I think I could do that.”

Jennifer grinned. 

Ronnie let go of her hands and gulped. He still had one big thing he had to do. One he had been meaning to get around to and say.

“What?”

“I got a job promotion.”

“That's great! Why didn't you tell me earlier?”

He looked back up and at her. “It's a relocation job to New York.”

Her smile melted off her face. “What?”

“The job's in NYC.”

Her mouth fell open. “But... what-”

“I want you to come with me,” he interrupted. “I want you to come to New York with me.”

Jennifer's mouth didn't close, and she only stared at him in silence. 



Notes:

me writing this and realizing to no one has said i love you to ronnie other than his mother or sons since nguyet died: 🧍whoops

i have a big test tomorrow in one my APs so obviously I'm gonna do the seventeen page (really nine pages, they're just all front and back except the last page) study guide tonight (I'm more than half way already but still)

Chapter 92: CokeHead (Vol II, Part III)

Summary:

Scott deals with his jealousy and a revelation that’s haunted him since

CW: Usage of queer in the slur context (but like in a non-demeaning way) sexual references, drug and alcohol abuse, usage of homophobic slur, discussion of period-typical homophobia

Notes:

Happy December! I'm so excited for Christmas this year lol

LAST CHAPTER OF PART 3!!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 92: CokeHead

 

Friday, October 29th, 1976, Upper East Side, Manhattan, New York



The Monster Mash blasted loudly as the costumed partygoers surrounding Scott chatted, snorted, and drank their way across the room. He watched them quietly, taking in the scene. It had been years since Scott had gone to a Halloween party. He scanned the room for the host, who seemed to have disappeared. Scott wasn't surprised. It was Halston, and he was likely off somewhere getting fucked and/or snorting coke.

Halston was the most flaming-est queer Scott had ever met. (And he said this as a flaming queer himself.) His parties matched his eccentric personality; everyone was decked out in fancy costumes, and everywhere he looked, there was someone doing coke. It wasn't a Halston party without cocaine. That was like Ziggy Stardust without his orange hair or his mother and not being a snobby cunt.

His costume wasn't too crazy. He had gone as J.J “Jake” Gittes, Jack Nicholson's character from Chinatown, fedora and nose bandage included. Of course, Jake wasn't blond, but Scott was not going to dye his hair for one night, and he had been too lazy to buy a wig. 

He was starting to think it might not have been a good idea to be at a party surrounded by drugs, especially for one trying to stay sober. Well, he wasn't completely sober. He had started smoking weed again and had gotten arrested for it while hanging out with David Bowie and Iggy Pop at one of David's shows. David was the only one who got charged, but Darlene yelled at him for a good five minutes, mostly about how lucky he was that the media didn't know he was one of the people arrested. 

It hadn't been that bad. Mostly he just told David to back off on the comments he'd been saying as his persona The Thin White Duke. David had waved him off, arguing it was just a character. Scott hadn't fought back. How could you argue with someone whose main diet was cocaine, milk, and peppers?

He hadn't told his NA officer about the weed. He didn't plan to. He had just gotten one of his sobriety tokens for both NA and AA. He didn't want to fuck it up, even if either token wasn’t from telling the truth. 

Still, the temptation to get drunk or high got stronger every day. Ronnie's announcement hadn't helped. No, it hadn't helped at all. 

It was stupid, getting worked up over something like that, but Ronnie had chosen the person he wanted in his life, and it clearly wasn’t Scott. He wanted to hate Jennifer. It was almost worse that he couldn't bring himself to. He liked her, and that was the worst part.

His mind wandered back to that night, seeing he had nothing else to do, and no one was talking to him.

He had been talking to Bobby when Jennifer and Ronnie came out of the office. They had been in for a while. Jennifer's face was enigmatic, but Ronnie's was slightly red. Had he been crying?

The pair had walked over to them, and Jennifer had grabbed his hand. Scott had stared at it. What the fuck was going on?

Ronnie swallowed. “We got something to tell you.”

Bobby cocked his head. “What?”

“I'm moving. I got a job promotion.”

“Where are ya moving to?”

“New York City.”

Scott smiled from ear to ear. “Really?”

If Ronnie was moving to NYC, that opened up a whole world of new possibilities. They could be together without secrecy. No more Beth. Fuck, maybe they could even live together.

Bobby scowled. "You fucking bitch, you're leaving me all alone?"

Ronnie scoffed. “Aren't you moving back to San Francisco in a month?”

Bobby sighed. “Yeah, but you're gonna be on the other side of the country.”

Jennifer smirked. 

“So... what are y'all gonna do?” Bobby then asked, looking at her.

Scott, who had been thinking about all the new possibilities with Ronnie, had forgotten that Jennifer was in the picture.

Ronnie smiled and stared lovingly at Jennifer before turning back to the two of them. Scott noted that he wasn't looking him in the eye. 

“I’m coming too,” Jennifer said, grinning. “I’ve always wanted to go to New York, and shit, here's my chance.”

“So y’all are gonna move in together then?”

They both nodded.

The smile off of Scott's face slowly melted away as all his future hopes were crumpled up and thrown out in a trash can. “Oh. ...I guess I'll be seeing y'all a lot more.”

Jennifer nodded. “Yup.”

Ronnie still wouldn't look Scott in the eye. 

He swallowed loudly. “I... I-uh need to use the restroom. Where is it?”

Jennifer pointed to a door next to the office. “There.”

“Thanks,” he muttered before quickly leaving. His heart pounded loudly as he rushed toward the bathroom door, opened it, and quickly slammed it shut before locking it.

Scott breathed loudly, standing in front of the sink. He stared at the white porcelain. His reflection was distorted in the steel stopper.

“Fuck,” he muttered, looking up and staring at his reflection. It was flushed pink. His pupils were dilated, and his hair framed his face. He looked 22 again.

He stared at his reflection as his breathing slowed down. Why was he acting like this? He had no reason to be jealous. Fuck, he even liked Jennifer.

Then it dawned on him. He was acting like this because he was in love. He was in love with Ronnie fucking McKittrick.

His eyes widened as he fell back and sat on the toilet seat. “Oh fuck.”

 

***

 

Scott couldn't sleep that night. How could he? How fucking could he? He had spent the first few hours pacing the bedroom he was holed up in, then he smoked four cigarettes and had to restrain himself from smoking a fifth. He doubted Jennifer’s parents would approve of a cigarette-smelling room. 

When the room became too small, and Scott felt that he couldn't confine himself anymore, he walked down the large oak stairs that led into the great hall. The house was old and regal like his childhood home, but it felt rugged rather than unwelcoming. 

He paced around in the hall, struggling to organize his jumbled thoughts. It was roughly two in the morning, but Scott felt jumpy. Any noise would spook him.

“Hey,” Ronnie's voice said behind him.

Scott, startled, turned. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, coming down the stairs. He was wearing a coat and his boots.

Scott gulped. “Why are you awake?”

“Why are you?”

Fair enough, he thought.

Ronnie nudged his head toward the front door. “Seeing that we both can't sleep, wanna go on a walk?”

“Well... considering you look like you were anyway, why not.”

“Put on a thick jacket. It gets pretty cold at night.”

Scott nodded as he went back up the stairs to grab his jacket. This wasn't a good idea. 

It was cold outside, and Scott was grateful his coat had fur lining. Ronnie's jacket was much thinner, but he looked unbothered by the cold. It made sense, considering he had grown up here. 

They walked in silence. Scott wasn't sure where Ronnie was taking him until they came across a trampled dirt path. He had only been there once in the daylight, but he knew where he was. 

“Why are we here?” He asked when they came in sight of a certain large oak tree.

“I let my body go on autopilot. Took us here, I guess.”

“Hmm,” he murmured. 

Ronnie leaned against the tree and shivered. He was staring at Scott awkwardly. 

Scott walked right up to him until their noses were almost touching. He leaned forward and kissed his lips.

Ronnie sighed against his mouth and pushed him off. “I know you’re upset.”

Scott laughed without humor. “You fucking think?”

The dark-haired man sighed again. “So I want to be in a relationship. Is that so bad?”

“I'm not your fucking mistress.”

“Well, that's how it was for me. It's rather humbling, isn't it?”

Scott sneered. “You fucking hypocrite. You're the one who said you didn't want to sneak around.”

“This is different,” he muttered.

“No, it's not.” He swallowed. “If anything, it's worse because you actually love her.”

“Don't bring Jennifer up.”

“This isn't about her?”

Ronnie scowled. “I want to have a fucking normal life, sue me. I can't wear flashy clothes or make-up because I'm in the normal world. In the normal world, you get beat up and killed for doing shit like that. If anyone found out about my sexual orientation... I would lose my job, my home, fuck... my whole life. Because in the end, it doesn't matter how good of a worker you are. If you're a dirty faggot, that's all you are.” He paused and closed his eyes. His voice sounded near a breaking point. “I have someone who loves me. Do you know how long it's been since someone told me that—that-that wasn't my sons or my mother?”

I love you, a voice in the back of Scott's head whispered, though he wouldn't dare speak it aloud. “Want me to fuck off then?” He replied instead, bitterly.

“No,” Ronnie answered, voice quiet. 

Scott looked away and almost laughed. “You are the most complicated person I know, Ronald.”

“Don't call me that.”

“Or what?”

Ronnie stepped forward and grabbed Scott by the collar of his jacket. They stared at each other intently. Ronnie looked beyond pissed off. Scott was starting to feel that way. He tried to push him away, but Ronnie pulled Scott closer and kissed his lips harshly. 

Although Scott would have loved to punch him or continue yelling, his body immediately reacted and kissed Ronnie back, pushing him against the tree. Ronnie forcefully shoved his tongue into Scott's mouth. He tasted like sparkling wine and cigarettes. Scott sunk his teeth into Ronnie's lip until he tasted something bitter and metallic. Blood. 

Ronnie's hands moved from his collar to his pants, where he shoved his hand into Scott's boxers and grabbed his dick, which grew alive at the touch of his rough, cold hand.

Scott finally broke away from Ronnie, panting loudly, eyes like daggers. He stared at his friend before slowly sitting down on the grass, catching his breath. He wasn't going to do this now, even if his body and heart wanted to. 

Ronnie didn't try to touch him. He merely sat down a few inches away from him, staring at the prairie. 

Scott felt the carved initials of Ronnie and Jennifer staring at him. He swallowed and spat into the grass. His mouth still tasted like blood. Ronnie’s blood. “I fucking hate the way I act around you,” he admitted, clenching his teeth. 

Ronnie hadn't replied.

“Scott?” a voice asked, bringing him out of his trip down memory lane.

Scott shook his head and turned, only to see Halston himself. “Hmm?”

“Enjoying the party?”

“I feel like a voyeur,” he replied, watching as a couple started to have literal sex a few feet away. 

Halston laughed. “You can always join them.”

He laughed awkwardly. “No thanks.”

“Are you alright?”

“No. I feel lonely. And angry.” He glanced at the designer. “And before you suggest anything, I don't think sex would help.”

“Shame, darling.” He pulled out a small baggie with white powder inside and handed it to him. “This might.”

Before Scott could refuse, Halston had walked away into the crowd. He stared at the baggie of cocaine. A good, reasonable person would have immediately thrown it away. Instead, he gazed at it, the plastic turning shiny due to the sweat on his palm. 

Scott had started drinking again before Beth and Laurie's wedding. It was just wine, but it was still breaking his sobriety. Honestly, he was impressed he had lasted over a year. Instead of throwing it away, he shoved it in his pocket and headed to the coat rack. He hadn't had much of a social battery since that early morning argument he and Ronnie had. 

Scott walked home. It was only 20 minutes away, and no one would recognize him in his costume. He liked walking anyway. It was stress relieving. After heated arguments with his mother, he'd go on walks. It always calmed him down. 

His apartment was nice. He had his own driver that came with the building. Sure, it was as much as the house in California, but he did have jets in his bathtub. And a heated toilet seat in the master bedroom.

He was in his boxers by the time he got to his spacious kitchen. He set the coke on the counter and turned on a light. It seemed to glow in the dim light, or Scott was just seeing things. 

You've been so good, a voice said in his head. Don't ruin it now. It sounded like a mixture of Darlene's and Beth's. 

Scott ignored this and opened the bag, spilling the drug onto the counter. He touched the little pile and formed it into five lines with his finger. He wiped his hand on his chest and looked down. 

He was alone. No one was gonna stop him, much less himself. Sighing loudly, Scott leaned down, holding his left nostril, and snorted a line of cocaine.

 

 

 

End of Part III

Notes:

welp scott has realized he's in love

 

For Context

Chinatown --> 1975 movie unfortunately directed by Roman Polanski (yuck)

The Thin White Duke --> David Bowie's persona and character for 1975-1976 albums—cabaret-esque clothes, basically the character was a fascist and "amoral zombie". At this time, his diet really was just cocaine, peppers, and milk, and he made some Nazi and pro-fascist comments which obviously he apologized for when he sobered up, but like honestly how did he not die from that diet?

Rochester Arrest --> Yeah lol I decided to throw in Scott in Bowie's infamous mugshot and arrest. It was never confirmed Iggy Pop was arrested too, but meh whatever my story

Chapter 93: Four's a Crowd (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Jennifer and Ronnie adjust to living together in New York, and Beth has a suspicion her family may be growing.

CW: Brief mention of drug abuse, explicit sexual content, mention of past suicide attempt

Notes:

start of vol 2 part 4!!!!!!

this part is probably my favorite 😳

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Part IV: Fantasy

January 15th, 1977 - November 7th, 1977

 

 

Chapter 93: Four's a Crowd

 

Saturday, January 15th, 1977, Bayside, Queens, New York



Ronnie and Jennifer stood outside their newly-bought home. The two-story red brick house was a marvel to Ronnie. It had four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, a basement, a separate two-car garage, and something Ronnie hadn't had since a child: a private backyard. It was the most expensive thing Ronnie had ever owned, and he knew the mortgage would kick him in the ass later, but he was proud of himself. He had a fucking house.

“I can't believe we have a house,” Jennifer muttered.

“I can't believe I'm finally out of California.”

She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder, admiring the view. 

“You don't mind that the house was built in the 30s? Or that the air conditioning in our room doesn't work?”

“Considering I grew up in a house from the 1890s, nope. And it’s a good thing it's January and not July.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Benjamin came out of the house wearing a dark green jacket, Toby following behind him. He had a grumpy look on his face. 

Benjamin had been upset when he found out they were moving. He didn't want to leave his friends and start a new school. Ronnie hoped he'd have a change of attitude, but even after two weeks of arriving in New York, his son was as grumpy as he had been when they arrived at JFK. 

“What do you think of the house? Too big?”

Benjamin crossed his arms. “I miss Kimmie and Alicia and Joel and Neil.”

Ronnie sighed. 

Jennifer frowned and crouched down to Benjamin's height. “I know moving's tough. I had to leave all my friends behind when I left for college. But then I made new friends, and it made me feel a lot better.”

“But I don't want new friends, I want my old friends.”

“Hey, don't be rude,” Ronnie quickly replied.

Benjamin just huffed. “Why? She's not my mommy.” With the spin of his heel, Benjamin stomped off back into the house, Toby once again following him.

Ronnie was flabbergasted. “Hey, you get your ass back here!”

Jennifer touched his shoulder. “Ronnie, don't.”

He scowled. “I've never laid a fucking finger on that kid. Might break that streak.”

“Ronnie,” she said calmly. “He's just upset. It's normal.”

“He shouldn't talk to you like that.” He looked at her. “I don't know what he's on, he's never had a mommy,” he muttered, ignoring a certain Vietnamese woman glaring at him from the neighbor's yard. 

“Ronnie…”

He sighed. Since Jennifer had moved in, she had been persuading him to cut the drinking and pills, but he was reluctant. He didn't want her to know just how bad his nightmares got. She wasn't demanding, however, and was okay with him just not drinking too much in front of August and Benjamin. 

“You excited to start teaching here?”

She shrugged. “Well, I don't start until the next school year, but I'm looking forward to teaching high school.”

Jennifer had just her New York teaching license two days prior and would start as an English teacher for Bayside High School in the fall. For now, she was going to be a long-term sub for the elementary school Benjamin was starting on Monday. 

She stood up straight. “Speaking of schools, did you sign the forms that'll make me one of Benjamin's guardians legally?”

He nodded. “I did, you just need to take it to the school.”

Jennifer looked surprised. “I'm shocked that you remembered.”

He gave her a light shove. “Leave me alone.”

She giggled. “I'm cold. Can we go inside now?”

“To continue unpacking?” He groaned.

“Sadly, yes.”

He smirked as they walked back inside the house. The downstairs was covered in boxes of various sizes. Benjamin was nowhere to be seen, so Ronnie assumed he was probably sulking in his room. 

Jennifer opened a box in the kitchen and started taking plates out. “Do you know when Scott gets back?”

“Well, I know his last show's on April 12th, so probably not until the 14th or 15th.”

“We should have him for dinner when he comes back.”

“Yeah,” he muttered. 

Scott was currently on tour for his upcoming album, The Killing Son, which would come out next month. Most of the shows were domestic, though he was doing five shows in Canada and one in Mexico. He was glad he was touring again because he knew how much Scott enjoyed it, and it'd help blow off steam between them. 

Of course Ronnie was happy that they were so close. Upper West Side Manhattan was only a 30 minute drive from Bayside and about an hour on the subway. But he knew Scott was upset at him, and he honestly didn't blame him. He didn't want to cheat on Jennifer, but he had no plans of ending things between him and Scott. The real question was how long could it last. Jennifer wasn't like Beth. She noticed things. 

They unpacked the kitchen and living room. When the couch and table were set up, it was already dark. Jennifer took advantage of having had their phone set up yesterday and ordered pizza from the numbers one of their new neighbors gave them. He cleaned up the boxes and papers before heading upstairs to seek out Benjamin. 

Ronnie knocked on the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yes,” a quiet, muffled voice replied. 

He opened the door and found Benjamin sitting on the floor, playing with his Legos, Toby in the corner chewing a rope toy. Benjamin's room had been the first thing they had unpacked as he would be able to have all his things, meaning it was the only room in the house that wasn’t covered in boxes. 

“Hey.”

Benjamin looked up.

Ronnie sat down next to him. “We're getting pizza for dinner.”

The boy just lowered his head.

“Hey, I'm not mad at you,” he said, rubbing his son's back. Anymore, his brain silently added. “But I do want you to apologize to Jennifer. I know she's not your mother, but you don't treat people like that. Especially someone who has taken the time to be with you when she doesn't have to.” He paused. “And... I want you to like the person I love.”

“I do like Jennifer,” Benjamin muttered before looking up. “Did you love my mommy?”

That question took Ronnie aback. “I came to love your mom.”

He looked confused.

“When your mom and I got married, I didn't know her very well, and she didn't know me, but as I got to know her, and we had you, I realized I loved her.”

“How did she die?”

Ronnie just stared at him, trying to get himself out of the pit he had dug. “There... was an incident... that I will tell more about when you're older.”

“Oh. Okay.” Benjamin cocked his head. “Are you gonna marry Jennifer?”

That was a hell of a topic switch, he thought. “Uh... I don't know.”

“Will she become my mom if you do?”

“Well, she'll become your stepmother, but you don't have to call her mom if you don’t want to.”

“What if I want to?”

Ronnie was surprised. “Well… I think she'd be more than happy if you do wanna call her mom.”

Benjamin stood up. “I'm gonna say sorry.”

He nodded. “Okay, kiddo.”

The six year old left the room as Toby put his head on Ronnie's lap. If anyone was happy about moving, it was Toby. Ronnie smiled and scratched his ear, looking at Benjamin's bed,  where Nguyệt was sitting, folding Benjamin's clothes. She had been staring at him, unamused. 

“Wanna go outside?” Ronnie asked Toby when the staring got too uncomfortable. 

Toby leaped up and barked, wagging his tail.

Ronnie smiled. “I'll take that as a yes.”

When he came down the stairs, he saw Benjamin and Jennifer talking to each other quietly. She then hugged him, and he hugged her back.

Ronnie grinned. 

 

***

 

“Can I join?” Ronnie asked, opening the shower door.

Jennifer turned and smiled. “Please do.”

He quickly took off his clothes and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He wrapped his arms around Jennifer and kissed the back of her head, smelling the shampoo in her hair.

“I've never lived in a house that had a separate shower.”

“Me neither. I thought it was just something rich people had.”

He moved her hair aside and kissed the back of her neck, licking the water off. Jennifer leaned back into him as she put his hands on her breasts. He touched them tenderly, rubbing her nipples with his thumbs in a circular motion. She let out a sigh.

“I love your tits so much,” he muttered, placing his head on her neck so he could see what was doing. 

Jennifer turned her head and kissed him. “You're a pervert.”

He dropped one of his hands to grab her ass. “You love it.”

She smirked and turned to face him. “Part of showering is actually getting wet and washing your hair and body. Not just fondling your girlfriend's privates.”

Ronnie stepped in the stream of water, wetting his body and hair. “Happy?”

She eyed his slowly growing erection. “Maybe.” She looked back up. “Need a hand there?”

He just leaned forward and pressed himself against her. “Maybe.”

Jennifer bit her lip and closed her eyes. She parted her legs slightly, and his cock slipped between them. The water made her legs slippery, and it caused him to somewhat thrust forward.

She gasped and grabbed the back of his shoulders.

That gave Ronnie an idea. He had never fucked someone's thighs before. 

He did it again, this time with intent.

Jennifer squeezed his dick with her thighs. Ronnie groaned. 

“Like that, baby?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, burying his face into her neck as he started thrusting at a steady pace.

He watched as her fingers fell to her clit, and she started rubbing it.

One of his hands fell back on one of her breasts. 

“You kno-mmm I wrote to you-you.”

He looked up.

“When you- oh fuck, can you finger me while doing that?”

He obliged and traced his finger on her folds. She bucked her hips and whimpered. 

“What were ya gonna say?” He asked huskily, slipping a single digit into her.

She groaned and shifted her body. “I wrote letters to you while you were 'Nam,” she whispered.

Ronnie quickly figured that they were going to have “a talk”, but he was more surprised by what she said and stopped thrusting. “Really?”

“I wrote them, and I was too much of a pussy to send them. Then I heard you got married and had a baby on the way. I was so upset. I thought that you had forgotten about me. Which was dumb, considering I had a boyfriend.”

He let go of her boob and caressed her face. “I could never forget you.”

She stared at him. He got the clue that it, unfortunately, was his turn to share.

“I... I thought about you when I tried to off myself. I wondered if you still thought about me.”

Jennifer frowned and pushed his head down to hers so their foreheads touched. 

He sighed. “Once, when I was having sex with her, I came and closed my eyes. I didn't realize I was thinking about you until she asked me something in her native tongue. I felt guilty for days.” He could almost feel Nguyệt standing outside the shower.

Jennifer kissed his lips gently. “You're okay?”

“Yeah.” He thrust his cock forward. “Want me to continue?”

“You better.”

Ronnie started fucking her thighs harder while he slipped a second finger and started making scissoring motions as she rubbed her clit. When he eventually felt his stomach tighten, He put his free hand above her head and thrust one last time, coming onto her thighs, whimpering.

Jennifer closed her eyes and arched her neck, moaning. “Fuck.” If there was one thing he liked more than fucking her, it was watching her have an orgasm. 

He pulled his fingers out of her and wiped the juices on his stomach. “Never fucked someone's thighs before,” he said, catching his breath as he watched the water washing the hot come on her legs into the drain. It looked erotic. 

“It's called intercrural sex.”

“Inter-what?”

“Intercrural. It means between the thighs.”

“Did they have a college class just for sex terms so you could use long words on your dumb boyfriend?”

“No, I used it mainly to figure out who was into kinky shit.”

“Like what?” He mused, pulling her away from the tiled wall and into his arms.

She cocked her head. “Choking.”

“And what's the fancy word for that?”

“Erotic asphyxiation.”

He touched her neck. “And I'm the pervert?”

She shivered. “We should try it sometime.”

Ronnie shrugged. “Well, we're already halfway to being sexual deviants.”

“Oh, you know some big words too?”

He laughed, though all he could think about now were the various times he and Scott had fucked, blown each other, or given each other handjobs in the shower. He already was a sexual deviant. 

 

Monday, January 17th, 1977, Sugar Land, Texas

 

When Beth woke up that morning, she felt so nauseous she almost puked in the bed. Her head was pounding, and she was pretty sure Laurie could hear her stomach gurgling. 

Laurie opened his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“No,” she muttered before rushing out of bed and into their bathroom. 

She didn't make it to the toilet. Instead, she threw up into their bathtub, the remains of last night's dinner spilling across the tub. Laurie got up immediately and hurried into the bathroom.

“Shit,” he rushed out, kneeling next to her.

She groaned and sighed. “I’m okay.”

“Considering you just upchucked your guts, I would say you're not.”

Beth shook her head and wiped her mouth. “I’ll be fine.”

“Please don't go to work. I'll drop Rosie off at daycare.”

She nodded and coughed. “I have a doctor's appointment this morning anyway.”

“I doubt your OBGYN can do anything about that.”

She shrugged. “We’ll see.”

Laurie kissed the top of her head and left the room to get ready for work.

Beth sat there staring at her dinner from the night before. The only time she ever threw up was when she was pregnant. Considering she was already a month late, maybe it was a good thing she was seeing her OBGYN today.

She left their house shortly after Laurie left with Rosie. She liked their house. It was big but comfy. The perks of having a husband in the oil industry in Houston. They had only bought it in November, and they still weren't fully unpacked, but it was wonderful. Plus, Catherine Powers and her husband Bill lived in the same neighborhood. 

Dr. Berling was the first female doctor Beth ever had. It made her more comfortable, and Dr. Berling always explained what she was doing.  

“Good morning, Mrs. Alders,” Dr. Berling greeted as she came into the room. She was a tall woman in her early forties with curly black hair. Beth was pretty sure she was half white and half black, but she knew that was a rude question to ask.

Beth sometimes forgot she was now Mrs. Alders. She had changed her last name, changed it back, and then changed it again, all within a span of three years. It was crazy how fast everything had happened. It hadn't felt like that before.

“Good morning. How did you know I got married?”

Dr. Berling held up a medical file. “I saw it on the name change on the file. How long ago?”

“October.”

“The honeymoon phase of marriage is so wonderful. Until you stop finding their snoring cute and realize that it’s just plain annoying.”

Beth smiled. “Thankfully, he does not snore.”

Dr. Berling sat down on her swivel chair. “This is hubby number two?”

Beth vaguely recalled that she had told the doctor she had been married before the last time she was there. “Yes.”

“Let’s pray that this one is better than the last.”

Beth nodded furiously.

“So, enough small talk. I know this is a routine check-up, but you look very pale. Is everything okay?”

“I threw up this morning.”

Dr. Berling's eyebrows knit in concern. “Are you alright?”

“I think I might be pregnant.”

“Really? How late is your period?”

“A month, and I only throw up when I'm pregnant.”

Dr. Berling uncapped her pen and wrote notes on her paper. “I see.”

“Is there any way I can take a test here to be sure?”

Dr. Berling smiled. “I think I can do you better. I can schedule you for an ultrasound right now.”

“An ultrasound?”

“A machine that takes real-time pictures using soundwaves. We've been starting to use it to see the fetus.”

Beth's eyes widened. “Really?”

Dr. Berling smiled. “And since you're my first patient, I can schedule you for it right now.”

The next thing Beth knew, she was laying on her back in a dim room next to a very clunky and odd-looking machine. Dr. Berling stood next to Beth, explaining what would happen while an attendant started it up.

“That sounds complicated.”

“Well, it sounds harder than it actually is. Can you please roll up your shirt and pull your skirt down slightly?”

Beth did what she was told. 

The attendant squired cold gel on her stomach, which made Beth shiver as she used a remote-looking thingie to rub it across her belly. The machine started whirling, and on a tiny screen, a grainy black-and-white image showed up. Beth noticed as the attendant moved the wand, the image changed slightly. 

Dr. Berling smiled. “That is your uterus.” She then pointed to a tiny dot on the screen. “And that is your baby. Congratulations.”

Beth's eyes widened. “That’s amazing.”

Dr. Berling studied the image longer. “You're about seven weeks from looking at the size of the embryo and sac. That means you'll be due sometime in late August. I can give a more accurate estimation when you’re about ten weeks.” She smirked. “That also means you'll be seeing me a lot more.”

Beth smiled. “That does.”

She felt much better leaving the doctor's office, though she wasn't sure if it was because she knew she was pregnant or she was just over morning sickness. She picked up Rosie from daycare early, and when she got home, she called Laurie to tell him that she got Rosie early. She'd wait to tell him the big news in person. He had already said he wanted kids, so she wasn't worried that he'd have a negative reaction.

“You've been looking cagey since I got home,” he said after they had eaten dinner and put Rosie to bed. 

Beth smiled. “I got a surprise.”

He sat down on the couch with an unopened beer can in his hand. “And whatever could that be?”

She rubbed her belly and wiggled her eyebrows.

Laurie dropped the beer can, and his mouth flew open. “You're pregnant?!”

Beth nodded. “Seven weeks.”

He leaped up from the couch, grinned from ear to ear, picked up Beth, and swung her around. 

She giggled and held onto him. 

He set her down gently and pressed a hand on her stomach. “I love both of you.”

Beth stood on her tippy toes and pecked his lips. “We do too.”

Notes:

me doing research for like three hours on ultrasounds in the seventies

Chapter 94: Urban Life (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Scott returns from his tour as Jennifer prepares dinner for the three of them, as she adjusts to living in the suburbs as an Indigenous woman.

CW: Drug abuse, mentions of period-typical racism, some sexual references

Notes:

happy hanukkah to everyone who celebrates!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 94: Urban Life

 

Friday, April 15th, 1977, Upper West Side, Manhattan, New York



Scott slept for two days straight when he arrived back in New York. He had been so tired that the driver had to wake him up when they arrived at his apartment building. He hadn't even made it to his bed. He was passed out on his leather couch by the time his face hit the cushion. 

When he did wake up, he was quite glad it wasn't later, considering he was having dinner with Ronnie and Jennifer that evening. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. The woman who quite possibly fucked up everything Scott wanted. And yet, he still couldn't make himself hate her. She was funny, beautiful, and had great taste. If he still was straight, he would have been very attracted to her. Or maybe he just thought that because Ronnie was attracted to her. 

He sat up and yawned, looking around. His suitcases were still by the door, and it was clear that Mandy, his housekeeper, had not been there in a while. He made a mental note to call her. Or have Darlene do it. 

Scott stood up and stretched, glancing at his watch, wondering how long he had slept. He wandered into his bedroom, which had a digital alarm clock that also showed the date. He glanced at it.

“Fuck,” he muttered upon learning that he had six hours before he had to leave for dinner. 

He showered quickly and looked around the place to see if he had any drugs laying around. He found enough cocaine for one line. He made another mental note to go see his dealer. 

Scott hadn't told anyone he knew about his relapse. Nor did he plan to. He was lucky that Darlene hadn't suspected anything while on tour. It wouldn't be like before. He would moderate himself this time. Just enough to get through the week. No more than two lines of coke. 

Well, that was what he told himself. He just hoped that he'd stick to it. And that Ronnie wouldn't notice at dinner. 

 

Bayside, Queens, New York

 

“Are you ready to go?” Jennifer asked, swinging her purse onto her shoulder.

Benjamin picked up his backpack and nodded. “Yup!”

She grinned. “You lead the way.”

He walked out of the classroom with Jennifer following him. He led her out of the main building and to the parking lot, where the car was waiting. It was technically Ronnie's car, but Jennifer was using it until she started her official job at the high school, which was closer to their house. Ronnie, in the meantime, took the subway to work.

She was counting down the day until the school year was over. She was tired of teaching little kids. Benjamin was more than fine, but 25 of them every day? She was tired of having to deal with little kid shenanigans. She could handle teenage ones. At least they didn't randomly puke all of a sudden. 

Benjamin got into the back of the car while Jennifer sat in the driver's seat. She started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. 

“When can I sit in the front?”

Jennifer glanced at him. “Maybe when you're 10.”

“But that's so far away,” he complained.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, my father didn't let me sit in the front until I was 12.”

He crossed his arms. “I guess I can wait until I'm 10.”

She laughed quietly. She and Benjamin's relationship had gotten much better in recent months. Having to take him to and from school every day helped. And Benjamin was delighted to hear the stories she'd tell him at night. She liked Benjamin. She always had. Shit, she was starting to love him like her own, though she hadn't mentioned it to Ronnie.

They had continued talking intimately once a month. It helped. Jennifer felt more comfortable with him, and she could tell he did too.

“I wish August lived with us,” Benjamin suddenly sighed, looking out the window. 

“Well, your daddy, Valentina, and I were thinking about having August live with us fully when he starts kindergarten.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and Valentina will come up here and go to college.”

“Did you go to college?”

She nodded. “I did.”

“Did Daddy go to college?”

“No, he did not.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, there's nothing wrong with not going to college. Scott didn't go to college, and he's famous.”

“How come he's not my Uncle Scott anymore?”

Jennifer rolled her shoulders back. The last time Scott had seen Benjamin, he had told him that he could just call him Scott.

“Well, he's not married to your Aunt Beth anymore.”

“Uncle Laurie is now.”

“That's right.”

“And they're gonna have a baby!”

Jennifer turned onto the street that led to their neighborhood. They lived on the outskirts of Bayside, close to Auburndale. “They are.”

“That means I will have one brother and four cousins!”

“I'm glad you know how to count.” Jennifer bit back a smirk. She hadn't meant to come out sounding that sarcastic. 

“My baby brother August, and my baby cousin Rosie, and my cousin Dean, and my other baby cousin Esther.”

“How old is Dean?”

“He just turned four, so he's not my baby cousin.”

“I see.”

“Do you have cousins?”

“I have multiple. Four first cousins, and another seven more second cousins. I don’t even know how many third cousins I have.”

“That's-” she heard him count quietly on fingers. “Eleven cousins! That's a lot!”

“My father thinks that's a lot too.”

“What for dinner tonight?” Benjamin then asked, switching subjects.

“Beef burgundy.”

“What's that?”

“It's a kind of French stew with beef, vegetables, and red wine.”

“Isn't wine for grown-ups?”

“Little kids can have it in foods when it's cooked,” Jennifer answered, pulling up into their driveway. 

“Okay,” he chirped, getting out of the car and running to the front door.

Jennifer stopped the car and got out, following Benjamin. “Do you have homework?”

“No,” he answered, taking the house keys from her and unlocking the door. 

“Okay, then I want to go to your room and change into a nice button-up and shorts.”

Benjamin frowned. “Why?”

“Scott’s coming over for dinner,” she replied, entering the house. 

Benjamin gasped in delight before running over to the backdoor to let Toby inside. 

Jennifer would have been lying if she said she wasn't excited to see Scott too. He literally was Scott fucking Stern, a guy she had seen in concert four times, and though she wouldn't admit it to Ronnie, she'd had a little crush on him when she was in college. (Okay, maybe a bit more than just a little crush.) She had been so shocked when it turned out he and Ronnie were practically best friends. She had also been a bit miffed. 

“It smells good.”

“Let's hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

Benjamin ran up the stairs while Jennifer went into the kitchen to check on the Crockpot. She used to hate it when she'd come home from school and see her mother using the slow cooker in the kitchen, but now she was starting to appreciate it. She could make dinner in the morning, and it'd be ready by the time she'd come home, which was what she did today.

She used to never want to live like this, but there she was, living in a house in a middle-class neighborhood making dinner on a Crockpot. Sure, she'd felt very alone at times, usually being the sole Indigenous person in any given room, but she was glad that she and Ronnie had moved to a more diverse area of Bayside and not in a white suburban neighborhood. She remembered the looks she'd get when she'd go with Sandy and have dinner with her parents. God, she fucking hated being stared at. 

She set the heat down to the lowest setting before going into the master bedroom and changing into a yellow wrap dress. It was a nice dress, but due to her height, the dress rested at her mid-thighs rather than her knees, and her large breasts stuck more than they were supposed to. Ronnie would appreciate it though. She reapplied her makeup and went back out of the room to see Ronnie coming into the house, petting Toby.

“Hi,” she greeted, coming up to him and kissing his lips.

“You look pretty,” he mused, closing the door. 

“Thanks. How was work?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I got paid today, which reminded me why I took the job in the first place. How about you?”

Jennifer frowned. Ronnie didn't like his job or the environment. She didn't blame him. Office culture sounded like a nightmare to her. “Nobody threw up today, so better than yesterday.”

He snickered. “Is what I'm wearing right now okay for tonight?”

She eyed him up and down. He was wearing a blue striped button-up and navy blue slacks. “Lose the tie and undo a couple of buttons.”

“Good, I hate wearing ties,” he muttered, unbuttoning the first three buttons of his shirt. “Do you need help with anything?”

“Can you make garlic bread? I bought a baguette yesterday.”

He nodded and undid his sleeves, rolling them up. “Smells great in here.”

She bit her lip. She always thought it was hot watching guys roll up their sleeves.

Ronnie looked at her and cocked a brow. “Yes?”

“You look very sexy doing that.”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Pervert.”

She looked at her feet. “Shut up.”

“But you're my pervert,” he whispered, kissing her neck.

“HI, DADDY!” Benjamin yelled, coming down the stairs.

The couple quickly separated from each other. 

“Hi. You look handsome.”

Benjamin beamed. “Thank you!” He glanced at Jennifer. “Can I do anything?”

“Can you go to the shelf with all the records and get the black record that says Queen and A Day at the Races?”

“And put it in the record player?”

“You got it.”

Benjamin shuffled off to the large collection of music records she and Ronnie had accumulated over the years.

Ronnie went into the kitchen and started on the garlic bread while Jennifer started setting up the table. Somebody to Love began to play on the record player, boosted by the speaker Jennifer had gotten Ronnie for his birthday that year. 

She hummed along to the song, going back into the kitchen for bowls. Ronnie was dipping a slice of bread into garlic butter and putting it in the frying pan. Toby was sitting next to Ronnie, hoping to get a slice of bread. 

“Ronnie?”

“Hmm?”

“What's your ideal job?”

He turned. “What'd ya mean?”

“Like your dream career.”

He stood there for a minute. “...I honestly don't have an answer. I wanted to be a football player, but then I realized I liked basketball more. I got busy just trying to make money after I graduated, so I never thought about it.”

She set the final plates on the table and went back into the kitchen. “What about being a teacher?”

“I like a whopping total of two children, and their names are Benjamin and August.”

Jennifer laughed. “Okay, what about a chef?”

“Remember what happened the last time I tried to bake a cake?”

The memory of burned batter filled her nose. “Fair.” She then smirked. “You’d make a great porn actor.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, you're hot, you have a big dick, and you're already a slut.”

“I'll consider it.” He turned off the stove and laughed. “Why did I actually consider it for a few seconds?”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I seriously considered dropping out of college to become a rock groupie.”

“Are you joking?”

“No, I genuinely thought about it.”

Ronnie laughed and leaned on the counter. “I'm gonna need context, ma'am.”

She just shrugged.

“You can't leave me hanging. Not after admitting that.”

“Maybe another time.”

Ronnie frowned. “Please?”

Jennifer just laughed.

“I’ll tell you about the time I had a threesome with two French chicks while doing heroin.”

That piqued Jennifer's interest. “I’m sorry, you did what?”

“My lips are sealed until I hear about the groupie story.”

It was her turn to frown. “Ugh.”

Ronnie just flashed her a smile.

“God, we're so domestic. Next thing I know, we'll be a couple on a sitcom. Except I'll be white because the only acting jobs for people like me are to play blood-thirsty savages.”

“You're only like that in bed.”

She lightly smacked his arm. 

“Ow.” He crossed his arms. “It is weird how fast one can settle into a new life. Noticed it when I came back from ‘Nam.”

The doorbell rang loudly, and both of them looked up. Toby barked.

“I’ll get the door!” Benjamin shouted, running toward the door.

Jennifer heard him unlock and swing the door open. 

“HI!”

Ronnie chuckled as they both headed to the doorway.

Scott was standing, holding a white box in one hand, and a bottle of Smirnoff in the other. Benjamin was hugging his waist. He looked up. “Why is it that whenever I come over, Benjamin is the one to greet me?”

“I’m lazy,” Ronnie responded as they greeted each other with a side hug. 

He held up the bottle. “Brought your favorite.”

Ronnie put his hand on his chest. “How did you know?”

Scott laughed and turned to Jennifer. “I can't bake or cook, so I bought macaroons.” He handed her the box.

Jennifer loved macaroons. “Aw, thank you.”

“She won't tell you, but those are her favorite dessert.”

“Good to know.”

She looked away and took the box of cookies to the kitchen. Toby followed her.

“These are not for you,” she told him. 

Toby just stared at her, tail no longer wagging.

“It smells good in here,” Scott called out.

“Thank you,” she replied, coming back into the living room.

Scott was wearing a blush-colored button-up and light brown pants. His belt matched his boots (cowboy, of course), and he wore several rings on both hands. His nails were painted gold, though some of them had chipped. She started wondering how annoyed Ronnie would be if she flirted with him. (Not seriously, obviously.)

“You look nice,” she mused.

Scott glanced at Ronnie. “Think I might be stealing your girl.”

You might be, a voice in her head answered. 

Ronnie just cracked a smile. “C’mon, I’ll give you a house tour.”

“I wanna give the house tour,” Benjamin protested.

“Go help Jennifer with dinner.”

He frowned but didn't argue with his father. 

Scott followed Ronnie upstairs as Jennifer gave Benjamin a plate for the garlic bread. 

“I wanna help,” he muttered, putting the plate on the table. 

“You're helping me.”

“But I wanna show the house.”

“You can give the house tour next time.”

“Promise?”

She held up a pinky. “I’ll even pinky promise.”

Benjamin nodded as their pinkies wrapped around each other. 

Jennifer looked up and saw the two men coming back down. “See? They're back anyway.”

“You have a lovely house,” Scott said, giving her a sideways smile.

She couldn't help but smile back. “Dinner's ready. You guys wanna eat now?”

“Yes,” Scott replied as she turned back toward the Crockpot.

Ronnie followed her into the kitchen. “I’ll serve dinner.”

She handed him the serving spoon. “Have fun.”

Jennifer went to the table where Benjamin was sitting, Scott standing next to him. He looked at her.

“Where do I sit?”

“Anywhere, I honestly don't care.”

He nodded and sat across from where Benjamin was sitting. She could tell by the way he was sitting that he felt awkward. Why? Maybe he wasn't used to her and Ronnie actually living together. They didn't know each other well enough, that was true, but Jennifer wanted to. Maybe she did due to her past fixation. She hoped she wasn't coming off as creepy. 

Ronnie served them dinner before sitting at the head of the table. She poured the men and herself wine as they began to eat. It was just small talk at first, but then Scott seemed to bloom after Ronnie made him tell them about his most recent tour. Scott mentioned that he was supposed to have his daughter for Easter, but Beth wouldn't let him take her while he was touring. He had been miffed, but he got to have her for Christmas this year. 

They then talked about kids in general, how Benjamin and August were brothers, but very different in personalities. August was quiet and shy. If there was one thing Benjamin loved, it was talking. And asking questions. Christ, that kid asked a million questions a minute. 

The conversation then started to turn into the recent shootings that had been happening. Since the NYPD had announced that the killings were likely from the same weapon, Jennifer had gotten paranoid. A majority of the shootings were in Queens. They lived in Queens. Luckily, Benjamin was already showering by the time Ronnie brought it up. She was grateful that he didn't have a single clue. 

When Benjamin finally went to bed, she turned to them. “Who wants a vodka cranberry?”

“Me,” they replied together. 

She smirked as she stood from the table and went into the kitchen. 

“I'd like to hear that groupie story now,” Ronnie called out.

“The what?”

Jennifer smirked to herself as she poured vodka into three glasses. “I wanna hear the French threesome.”

“Groupie story first.”

“What the fuck are y’all talkin’ about?” Scott sounded very confused.

“Do you promise you'll tell the groupie story?” He asked as she handed him a glass.

Both of them had since moved to the couch in the living room. 

“Fine.”

Scott sipped his drink. “I’m going to need context.”

“She told me earlier that she seriously considered dropping out of college to become a groupie.”

Scott's eyes widened, and he looked at her. “You mean we could've met?”

She laughed as she sat next to Ronnie. “Do you fuck your groupies?”

He shrugged. “Not as much as I used to.”

“Are you saying you cheated on Beth with groupies?”

He nodded. “I was not a very good husband.”

“I can tell.”

Ronnie snorted. 

“Can I hear this story now?”

She sighed. “Fine.”

Ronnie cheered.

Jennifer elbowed him softly. “Okay, so it was 1972. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and I went to a Redbone concert with my cousin Tara and my friend Angie.” She looked at her boyfriend. “You remember Tara?”

“The one that had a crush on me?”

“No, that was her sister Evie. She was also on the basketball team with me.”

“Oh, her.” He glanced at Scott. “She called me a drunken cunt after my DUI.”

“Was she wrong?”

Ronnie scowled. “You’re supposed to be on my side, asshole.”

Scott just smiled and looked at Jennifer. “Please, go on.”

“So, we were in the pit, and right as the show ended, the guard pointed at us, and next thing I know, I’m backstage with the band.”

“Did you have sex with them?”

“No!” she rushed out, feeling her face grow hot. 

“You didn’t do anything?”

“...I gave one of them a handjob.”

Ronnie sat up. “Who?”

“I’m not telling.”

Both of them groaned. 

“Okay, so then what?”

“I was asked if I wanted to come along to the next show.”

Scott smirked. “Did you say yes?”

“Shut up, and let me tell the story.”

Scott frowned. “Yes, ma’am.”

“So I went to the next show, and after, I met Jon Lord.”

“From Deep Purple?”

“Yup.”

Ronnie gasped. “No fucking fair, I was the one who got you into Deep Purple.”

“Don’t be jealous.”

“Okay, then did you fuck Jon Lord?”

She looked at both of them before nodding. “He asked me to come on tour with them.”

“This is the part where you thought about dropping college?”

“Why didn't you?”

“I almost said yes, but then I realized that it only lasts so long, and I didn’t want to end up whored and coked out.”

“That's fair.” Scott set his glass on his lap. “It’s crazy seeing how young some of them are. Like where the fuck are your parents? One of the reasons I now don’t fuck them anymore. I’d rather not end up on a sex offenders list.”

Ronnie downed the rest of the cocktail. “Well, I would have said yes if I were you. Free drugs, booze, and sex.”

“Why are you a father?”

“Because he had access to free drugs, booze, and sex.”

He glared at Scott and reached over to flick his arm. “Shut up.”

Scott just laughed. 

“Okay, so what about that French threesome?”

Ronnie raised his hands and nodded. “Scott invited me to come along on tour, and we're in Paris, at this party, and the host, some redheaded twig, gave us free heroin. Normally, I don't accept free heroin, but he seemed sincere. I was sitting with a chick—I think her name was Cléa or something. She had a nice rack.”

“Thanks,” Jennifer mumbled.

“Hey, I didn't say anything about you fucking Jon Lord of Deep Purple.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Back to the story, before I was so rudely interrupted,” he said, poking Jennifer in the arm.

She bit back a giggle. 

“She couldn't speak good English, but she got the point that I needed help with it and led me to an empty bedroom. Inside is another girl, wearing nothing but white hot pants. She spoke good English, and then we had sex and did heroin. It was hot. The end.”

“I feel like there's something missing from that story,” Scott mused.

“What, the part when you had to get my naked ass up and leave for West Berlin?”

“How was seeing Ronnie naked?”

Scott jokingly shuddered. “Traumatizing.”

She laughed as she curled up into Ronnie's shoulder. She hadn't realized just how close Scott and Ronnie were until tonight. They seemed more touchy than most men, but she also knew Scott wasn't the kind of person to be held down by societal expectations. It was one of the reasons why she admired him. But it was still odd. Laurie and Ronnie were never like that. And the way he had joked about seeing Ronnie naked... Well, maybe she was just overthinking things. 

Ronnie wrapped his arm around her as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. She could have sworn she saw a flash of ugliness from Scott, but it was gone as soon as it appeared. Or maybe she was just imagining things. Maybe.

Notes:

This Tuesday is my last day of the semester I'm so excited
also had to change when i used daisy dukes to describe hot pants/booty shorts bc the phrase is from the dukes of hazzard and the first episode wasn't until 1979 (always do your research lol)
For Context

Jon Lord (1941-2012) --> Co-founder of British rock band Deep Purple. He had a big mustache (😳 looking at you jen)

Redbone --> American band, best known for Come and Get Your Love, fun fact they were the first mainstream Native American band!

Chapter 95: Come Sail Away (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Scott seeks to appease his newfound art addiction with Andy Warhol and later, his feelings for Ronnie as they have lunch together

CW: Sexual references, explicit sexual content, some alcohol abuse, mention of drug usage

Notes:

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS!!!

Merry Christmas y'all! Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday, whether or not you celebrate it! <3 My Christmas present to y'all is a double update, so please enjoy this chapter and the next! <33 :D (also happy early Kwanzaa to all my homies who celebrate)

also got accepted into two more colleges this week, that's pretty slay me thinks

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 95: Come Sail Away

 

Thursday, May 5th, 1977, Union Square, Manhattan, New York



“Interesting art piece you got goin’,” Scott mused, staring at the half-finished copper-coated canvas.

Andy walked over and stood next to him. “I’m using body fluids as my paint.”

Scott turned his head. “I’m sorry?” He turned back to the canvas. “Like piss and come?”

“Yes.”

Scott had an urge to take one step away from Andy, which was mean, considering they were friends. “Well, considering it’s you, I shouldn’t be that surprised.”

Andy blew air through his nose and smiled. 

One of the weirder things about becoming famous is that you meet other celebrities too. Like ones you had heard about all the time when you were younger, and next thing you know, they're acting like they’re friends with you. Bowie had introduced Andy Warhol to Scott at a party two years ago. The man who had caused such a scandal in the art world in the late 60s and early 70s was just a skinny pale guy with almost white blond hair, though Scott was about 68 percent sure it was a wig. 

“Why are you here?” He gestured to the canvas. “Would you like to donate to the cause?”

Scott's ears turned pink. “Uh... no.”

“So?”

“I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in doing some more artwork for me.”

“Another album?”

He nodded. "Mhmm."

Andy had done a silkscreen portrait of Scott for his album The Killing Son. Scott had loved it, and so did Darlene to the point where she suggested that he ask Warhol to do a painting for the cover of the Christmas album Scott was planning to release in late November. 

“What kind of theme do you want? Similar to The Killing Son? Or maybe one of your earlier albums?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s gonna be a Christmas album.” Scott had wanted to call it Christmas: Scott Wants More Money, but Darlene hadn’t thought it was as funny as he did. Nor did the label, who was starting to become a bitch recently to the point he was thinking about signing to another record label when his contract ran up.

Andy pursed his lips. “I don't do holiday stuff.”

“You literally invented consumerism. C’mon, you can’t say no.”

“It’s not me. Can you see me making Christmas art?”

“No,” Scott admitted. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I also came by to maybe buy some art for my apartment. I kinda accidentally became an art collector, and I need to expand.”

He cocked his head. “How did you become an accidental art collector?” Andy himself was an avid art collector. 

“Well, I've always liked collecting stuff. I used to collect baseball cards as a kid, and then I started collecting guitars. Had almost 30 at one point, but I gave some away for charity auctions and others as gifts. Plus, I smashed three on stage.” He smirked. Guitar smashing was fun, though expensive. “Anyway, it all started when I bought a Monet for funsies.”

“Which one?”

One of The Beach at Sainte-Adresse paintings. I was in West Berlin in September of last year visiting David and Iggy Pop, and on my way back here, I stopped in Paris. Next thing I know, I own a Monet.” Scott wasn't friends with Iggy Pop, so he didn't bother to call him by his real name, James. “Then for an early Christmas present to myself, I bought a DalíThe Colossus of Rhodes. Then I realized I liked buying paintings.”

“Two isn’t a collection.”

“But three is.”

“True. Anything in mind?”

“I've been trying to get one of your Campbells, but the MoMA’s a bitch about selling them.”

He smiled slyly.

“Don’t tell me you have one.”

“When I was commissioned a second time back in '69, I made a few extras.”

Scott smiled. “And how much would you charge for one?”

He stood there for a minute. “35,000.”

“Shit, that’s pricey.”

“That’s 25,000 off from the last Campbell I sold.”

“Fair.” Scott turned back to the copper-coated canvas. “20k... and I'll donate to the cause.”

“Which cause?” Andy's eyes twinkled.

Scott nodded toward the canvas. “I haven't jacked off in like a week, so you'll get a nice load.” He looked back at the older man with a wicked gleam. He knew exactly what Andy would say yes to. “You can watch... or help.”

“Deal.”

 

***

 

When Scott walked into his apartment from the elevator, the first thing he saw was Ronnie, standing by his bar and pouring himself a drink.

“How did you get in here?”

Ronnie turned. “You gave me a key.”

“Oh yeah.” He set the wrapped painting down. “I thought we were meeting at 12:30.

“It’s 12:32,” he replied, glancing at his watch.

“Oh. Sorry, I got caught up with something.”

Ronnie pointed to the wrapped Campbell with his drink. “What’s that thing?”

“Art for my apartment.”

He pointed to the Dalí hanging on his mantle. “I noticed the new one. I think Jennifer would get a kick out of it.”

“Oh yeah, that was a Christmas present to myself. Finally arrived last week.”

“Do I know the painter?”

“Salvador Dalí.”

Ronnie looked impressed. “I’m not asking how much that was.”

More than you make in three years, Scott silently told him. He walked up to Ronnie and smiled. He had been looking forward to lunch all week because of this. Most of his other friends were out of New York or the country, meaning Scott had been feeling lonely recently. His unrequited love for Ronnie wasn't helping. 

Ronnie smiled back, though Scott could see purple under his eyes. “What is for lunch, O’great rich person who I know can't cook?”

“I had my housekeeper make chicken pot pie yesterday.”

“Where is she? I’d like to thank her.”

“She has off on Thursdays and Sundays.”

“Of course.”

Scott took the drink from Ronnie's hand and down the rest of it. His face scrunched up. Vodka. It was the middle of the day, and the mother fucker was drinking vodka? Even Scott waited until at least 3 before he cracked open the stronger liquors. 

Scott grabbed the pie from the oven, which he had left on before he left for The Factory. Had it been a good idea? No. But was the pie warmed up and ready to eat? Yes. 

They ate together quietly, Ronnie undoing his tie and throwing it towards the living room. 

“Ain’t you gonna need that?”

“I said I’d be coming back late.”

Scott pushed his plate away from him and looked down. “I’m doing coke again.”

Ronnie dropped his fork. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“I’m not.”

“How long?”

“Since October.”

Ronnie stared at the crumbs on his plate. “Does it have anything to do with me?”

“No,” Scott lied. 

Ronnie looked back up. “I guess I can’t say anything. I’m the one drinking vodka at noon.”

Scott stood up. “It’s not as bad as last time. I've only done like eight lines in the last two weeks.”

Ronnie stood up as well. “It’s still cocaine. What about Rosie?”

Scott frowned. “Says the relapsed alcoholic with two kids.”

“I’m a hypocrite to the end.”

Scott touched Ronnie's face. It was smooth, only marked by a tiny scar on his chin. To his surprise, Ronnie flinched when he touched him.

Scott drew his hand away. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.”

Ronnie shook his head. “Had a bad dream. Jennifer slept with Benjamin last night ‘cause he has strep, and the last time I got strep, it wasn’t very pretty, so she's been staying with him. ...It’s getting harder for me to sleep alone.”

“The dreams are worse?”

“Yeah.” He looked down. “I have this really bad one when I’m alone nowadays. It's to the point where I hate sleeping by myself.”

Scott had a suspicion that Ronnie's nightmare was about the man Bobby had told him about. His heart broke. “You should tell Jennifer.”

“No,” he said firmly. “No,” he then repeated, softer. “I can’t.”

Scott wanted to touch him, but he refrained. He felt guilty for complaining about his life. He just was a spoiled brat. “Ronnie.”

Ronnie sighed. “Can you kiss me?”

God, I’d love nothing more to, his head told him. “You sure?”

He smiled sadly. He looked so tired. “Am I gonna have to beg?”

Scott was unsure how to respond without letting him that he knew. He leaned forward and kissed him gently, like when he kissed his daughter's forehead before she went to bed. Ronnie kissed him back, and Scott could feel the amount of need radiating off of him. He tasted like stale cigarettes, vodka, and pie crust. 

Ronnie kissed him, wrapping his hands around Scott's head and pushing him toward the couch. Scott fell backward onto the sofa, pulling Ronnie with him. He felt Ronnie's hands fly to his shirt as he unbuttoned the rest of the buttons on his shirt that weren't already. He pulled his shirt off to his shoulders.

Scott turned his head away as Ronnie trailed down his bare chest, licking a stripe across his eagle tattoo. He groaned quietly, starting to wonder if he would be able to pop a boner, considering he had just jacked off like an hour ago. His question was answered a few seconds later when he felt his pants tighten. He sometimes forgot that he was nearly 26 and not in his late 30s. 

Ronnie looked up as he undid Scott's belt. “Did you jack off earlier?”

His ears turned red. “Uh…”

He actually laughed, which made Scott feel less embarrassed. 

“I can see the stains on your underwear,” he told him matter-of-factly.

“Thanks,” Scott mumbled.

Ronnie gave him a smile, looking much better than he did five minutes ago. He unzipped Scott's jeans and pressed against his growing bulge.

Scott bit his lip and groaned. “Fuck.”

Ronnie pulled his jeans to his knees and slowly peeled down his underwear.

“God, can you just hurry up?” He gritted, gripping the throw pillow next to him. His cock was hard, dripping pre-come, and begging to be touched. 

“Shut up,” Ronnie replied before taking him into his mouth. 

Scott almost whimpered. It felt so good, feeling Ronnie wrapping his mouth around him, tongue licking the underside of his penis. Gripping the pillow tighter, Scott rolled his head back and moaned.

He watched Ronnie's head bob, gagging as he took almost all of Scott. With his right hand, he reached and tugged at Ronnie's hair. They made direct eye contact as Ronnie slowly dragged his mouth off of his cock, making a popping noise.

“What are you doing?”

Ronnie crawled on top of him and leaned down to kiss him. His lips were swollen. “I wanna watch you come.”

Scott just whimpered against his lips as Ronnie wrapped his hand around him and dragged it very slowly. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, kissing Ronnie desperately as if his life depended on it. Sometimes it felt like it did.

Ronnie quickened his pace, jacking him off as he kissed him back, scrounging up some of Scott's hair in his free hand. 

Scott gasped and bucked his hips against Ronnie's, dropping the throw pillow and gripping onto Ronnie's shirt. He had a feeling his building orgasm would be stronger compared to the one earlier. 

Ronnie's hand dragged up and down his shaft, rubbing the tip of Scott's cock and foreskin all over his palm and fingers. Scott started to slide his hand down to help, but Ronnie let go of his hair and grabbed his hand. Their fingers entwined as Scott panted loudly. He was close.

“I’m- I’m gonnauhh come,” he moaned, thrusting his hips upwards again. 

“Shhh,” Ronnie whispered, adjusting his legs so his slacks wouldn't get stained. 

Scott had never been so undone by a simple handjob before. He moaned and whimpered, burying his face into Ronnie's neck as he cried out, coming into Ronnie's hand. Ronnie continued to stroke him, riding off the orgasm, rubbing the back of Scott's head. 

“You okay?”

“Mhmm.” He opened his eyes and laid his head back. Ronnie was still hovering above him, watching. The tired smile on his face was replaced by a concerned one. 

“You sure? I don't think I’ve ever seen anyone orgasm that hard from a handjob.”

Scott smiled tiredly, breathing slowly. “You have power over me.” Literally.

Ronnie thought he was being sarcastic. “I must be some warlock then.” 

“I-” he started to say but immediately broke off. I love you. I’m in love with you. God, I am so fucking in love with your dumb ass, and I’m too much of a coward to even tell you

“I what?”

“I... I’m glad you're so great at jacking me off.”

Ronnie scoffed and sat up. He was staring at his hand, covered in Scott's come.

Scott did too, his pants and underwear still at his knees, his chest still exposed. “Want me to return the favor?” He asked, staring at the erection in Ronnie's pants. 

He shook his head. “No, there's not enough time. I’ll live.”

“Don’t punish yourself because you're with me.”

Ronnie turned his head and frowned. “It’s not that. It’s not cause of her. Seeing you come undone by my hand and mouth alone is just as nice.”

Scott scooted closer to Ronnie, pulling his pants up as he did. “C’mon... unless you think my handjob skills are shit.”

Ronnie chuckled. “I’m okay, really. Your presence alone has already made me feel a lot better.”

Scott grabbed Ronnie's wrist, feeling the drying sticky semen on his fingers. “You need to clean up this hand.” He smirked and brought it closer to his face. 

“You’re disgusting.”

“Says the guy who gave me a rim job after I had a stomach bug.”

“I never said I wasn’t either.”

Scott leaned toward the hand and licked his palm, tasting his salty, half-dried load. It wasn't the first time he had tasted his own come before. Ronnie then slipped his pointer and middle fingers into Scott's mouth. Scott almost groaned as he twirled his tongue around the fingers. 

They stared at each other, not breaking eye contact. Neither of them had done this with each other before. Scott scooted closer to him until their knees were touching. He watched as Ronnie's free hand dragged across his legs and then to Scott's. It trailed up to his lower stomach and touched the beginning of his groin, covered in thick blond hair. Scott nearly gagged as Ronnie put a third finger into his mouth as he started running his fingers through his pubic hair, lightly tugging and twirling. 

He sucked his fingers, licking the remains of himself off, mixing salvia with half-dried semen. His eyes wandered to Ronnie's pants. His crotch looked like it was about to burst. 

Ronnie suddenly drew both hands away from Scott. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cream my pants.”

“Whoops,” he replied sarcastically. 

He smirked in reply and leaned back. “I gotta leave in 10 minutes.”

“I’ll give you the greatest orgasm known to man if you stay.”

“If I could, I would.” He looked down. “I’ll get in trouble if I'm over 30 minutes late.” He looked back up. “You mind if I wipe my hand on your shirt?”

“Be my guest.”

Ronnie reached over and wiped his hand on his shirt and chest. Scott savored every second of it. When he finished, he stood up and stretched. 

“I’m gonna go clean up.”

He nodded. 

Ronnie left the living room, disappearing towards the closest hallway. Scott leaned forward and started bouncing his leg. Was this the new point of their relationship? A quickie and then go on with life, even if you found it miserable? He just wanted to treat him the way Jennifer did. He just wanted Ronnie to love him the way he loved Jennifer. He had to care about him in some way, right? Or they wouldn't have been continuing the same tango they had danced for the last four years.  

Ronnie came out of the bathroom, now noticeably with no boner. “Cold water,” he muttered when he saw Scott staring.

“Ah.”

Ronnie picked up his tie from the floor and put it back on. He was back in his work uniform. “You’re coming for dinner next Friday, right?”

“Yeah.” Scott stood up, zipping up his pants. “You think if I call your boss, he’ll let you stay?”

“He hates rock music, so no.”

Scott feigned a gasp. “How revolting.”

Ronnie smiled before leaning on Scott's shoulder. “I think you’re my only friend here in New York.”

Scott sighed. “I think you're the only person in the world who really knows who I am.”

Ronnie looked up and gave him a peck on the lips like they were an old married couple, and Ronnie was leaving for the day. “I’ll see ya later, cowboy.”

“Talk to Jennifer about those nightmares if you won’t tell me.”

He scoffed. “God, you two are more alike than you know.”

Scott wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Notes:

My beta reader liked a certain scene in this a lot 😳 😏 also I made Scott an art collector so I could look at art and shit. The paintings I name specifically are linked in the story as will be any future ones!

enjoy the next chapter too as part of my holiday gift <3

For Context

Fun fact: when Andy Warhol sold the Campbell for 60k, it was the most expensive painting sold by a living artist at the time.

20k in today's money is about 98k (jesus christ), meaning 60k is 295k, 35k is 172k, and 25k is 123k. (Scott needs to find a less expensive hobby)

Andy Warhol’s Oxidation Paintings --> 1977, Andy Warhol turned a new page in his artistic practice. He started using bodily fluids in his art. Asking his assistants to urinate and ejaculate on primed or copper-coated canvases, he created a series of abstract works known as the Oxidation, Piss, and Cum paintings. (Artland M

The Factory --> Andy Warhol's studio, set in various locations in New York City, where he painted, made his films, etc. The one Scott visits is the second location of The Factory

Chapter 96: Truths (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Beth debates whether or not to expose her brother and ex-husband on a Memorial Day Weekend trip while Jennifer and Ronnie discuss their relationship

CW: Period typical homophobia, minor sexual references,

Notes:

minor princess bride spoilers sorry but if you don't know the book or movie then it doesn't matter (it's one of my favorite books and movies)

MERRY CHRISTMAS PART II ENJOY THE DOUBLE UPDATE

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 96: Truths

 

Friday, May 27th, 1977, Queens, New York



“So if we’ve decided on Thomas Connor for a boy... what about for a girl? We got Anne for a middle name, but no first name,” Laurie remarked as they walked out of the airport terminal.

Beth adjusted Rosie in her arms. “Megan.”

“Louise.”

“Isabelle.”

“Penelope.”

“Courtney.”

“Katie.”

“Wosemawy!” Rosie exclaimed.

“We can’t name your sibling Rosemary, that's your name,” Beth chided, laughing. 

Laurie chuckled and ruffled Rosie's blonde ringlets. “What about Adrianne?”

“Well, I don’t think Adrianne Anne Alders would sound good.”

“That’s true. Her initials would be AAA.”

Beth looked at her husband and blushed. “I like Laura.”

Laurie turned his head. “You wanna name her after me?”

“If it's a girl.”

He smiled from ear to ear. “I like that idea.”

Beth rolled her eyes, though she was chuckling. “Of course you do.”

Laurie looked around. “Where's the baggage claim?”

Beth pointed to a sign. “Over there.”

They walked down the crowded hall until they came to a large room filled with suitcases. Standing in the corner of her eye, Beth spotted a black-haired couple, taller than a majority of the crowd. Ronnie and Jennifer. 

“Thank God that those two are giants,” Laurie muttered, waving them over. 

Beth smirked. 

“How was the flight?” Ronnie asked as he gave both of them a quick side hug.

Beth wrinkled her nose. “A smoker was sitting next to us, so it stunk.”

Ronnie cocked a brow. “Hey, don't look at me just because I smoke.”

“It is a bad habit.”

“Too bad you look hot doing it,” Jennifer muttered.

“Ew,” Laurie replied before looking at Ronnie. “Can I hand in getting the suitcases?”

“Sure.”

The men walked away, leaving Beth (and Rosie) alone with Jennifer. 

“So... how's New York? Do you like it?”

Jennifer nodded. “It's nice living somewhere that has actual seasons again, and I like people here more.”

“How do you mean?”

“I'm not asked if I'm a Mexican every five minutes.”

“Oh.”

Jennifer snickered. “Now it's only every 45 minutes.”

Beth wasn't sure if she was meant to laugh or not. She was never sure when it came to Jennifer. They had never been friends, and Beth was sure the older woman knew that she used to be jealous of her in high school. She was tall, large breasted, and regally beautiful. It was an ancient and powerful kind of beauty. Who wouldn't be envious?

“Is it a boy or a girl?” She then asked, shaking Beth out of her thoughts.

“Oh, we've decided to wait until the baby's born to know the gender.”

“Why? It's amazing we now have the technology to learn the sex of the child as soon as four months.”

She shrugged. “I don't know. Laurie and I think it's cheating a bit.”

“It does make planning easier.”

Beth nodded. “True. I don't know... I like surprises.”

“I don't. They stress me out too much. I get terrified when one of the kids I'm teaching tells me they have a surprise for me.”

Rosie grabbed her mother's face. “Mommy?”

“Yes, honey?”

“Where Daddy?”

“I don't know where your father is.”

“Oh, Scott's at the house with Valentina. They volunteered to watch the boys.”

Beth was surprised. “He willingly volunteered?”

Jennifer nodded. “Well, he was already there when Ronnie and I left and said he didn't mind.”

“I see,” she mused. She didn’t like the fact Ronnie and Scott lived within a thirty minute drive from each other. Or the fact he seemed to come over. A lot. 

Ronnie and Jennifer lived close to the airport. They were near the high school Jennifer was going to teach at in the fall, and Beth thought their house was nice. It was smaller than her and Laurie's house, but Beth assumed this house was far more expensive compared to theirs, considering how cheap Houston was compared to New York City.

“Hiya, kiddo,” Scott greeted, taking Rosie from Beth's arms.

Rosie flung her arms around Scott's neck. “Daddy!”

Benjamin and August came down the stairs with Toby, Ronnie's Bullmastiff. Beth frowned. She'd rather avoid big dogs if possible. She turned to her brother.

“Can you put your dog outside?”

“He's not gonna bite you.”

Beth pursed her lips. “Please?”

Ronnie rolled his eyes and whistled. “Toby, come here.”

The dog came trotting over. Beth nearly smacked her brother.

Ronnie just scratched his dog's ear. “He's harmless, see?”

Beth took a step away. 

He groaned. “Fine, I'll put him outside.” He grabbed Toby by the collar and led him to the backdoor. 

Valentina came out of the kitchen. “I set lunch out.”

Jennifer smiled. “Thank you.”

“We're eating now?” Laurie asked.

“We can get the suitcases later," Beth muttered, rubbing her stomach. "I'm starving.”

When they finished eating, Jennifer waltzed over to the record player, turned it on, and opened the cover. “Any requests?”

“Something fun,” Laurie called out from the kitchen, grabbing a beer.

Jennifer pulled out a vinyl from its cover and smirked. “I think I'm in an ABBA mood.”

“I love ABBA,” Valentina muttered, standing next to Beth. 

“I like them too. It’s nice to hear something that isn't sex or drug-related,” Beth replied, giving Scott a glance, who was in deep conversation with Ronnie. They had been talking to each other during the entirety of lunch. It made her uneasy.

Valentina smiled. “Not all his music is sex and drugs.”

“I know that,” she mumbled as Dancing Queen started to play.

Jennifer's face lit up. “C’mon, Ronnie, let’s dance.”

He looked up and shook his head. “I don't dance.”

She gave him a pouty look. “Please?”

“No.”

She scoffed and turned her attention to Scott. “I know you can dance,” she stated, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the center of the living room. 

Scott looked surprised, but he then laughed and started dancing along with her, mouthing the lyrics. Jennifer lip-synced toward Scott, giggling as she moved her hips and arms to the music. He twirled her around and pulled her close as they got to the chorus, now verbally singing the lyrics.

Beth laughed, watching the two of them. She felt Laurie wrap his arms around her as he nodded along to the music. She leaned back and sighed. It was odd. She was watching her ex-husband dance with her brother's girlfriend. Then she turned her head to where Ronnie was standing. The smile on Beth's face slowly melted as she stared at her brother. 

Ronnie stood there, entranced, watching the two of them. He had a warm expression on his face as if he was watching something he truly cared about. He looked at them the way Laurie looked at her whenever he got sappy and romantic. And it was then she realized she didn't know who he was staring at. 

She couldn't stop staring at him. The suspicion had plagued her since her wedding, and there it was, much to her disgust. Evidence that Scott and Ronnie had started up their affair again. 

“Are you okay?” Laurie asked quietly as the song began to end, Jennifer and Scott's laughter nearly drowning out his voice.

“Yeah, just a bit tired,” she lied. 

Laurie started to gently rub her belly. “Are you still gonna go out with Jennifer and Valentina then?”

Girl's night. Jennifer had been planning to take them out that night since she and Ronnie had invited them for Memorial Day weekend. It was perfect. None of the men would be there, and Valentina could help comfort her when Beth would tell her the truth. She deserved to know. 

“No, I'm still going.” I have to.

 

***

 

“Is only 5. Why is it so crowded?” Valentina asked as they stepped inside the bar.

Jennifer frowned. “Son of Sam. No one wants to be out here after dark.”

Beth noted that she looked genuinely paranoid about the killer. “Is it that bad? I thought the papers were exaggerating.”

She shook her head. “It's not. Doesn't help that I have long dark hair either.”

Valentina touched her own dark brown hair. “Ak dievs,” she mumbled under her breath. 

Beth felt a lot less safe than she had a few seconds ago. “Well, let's find a place to sit.”

They managed to find a tiny booth, really only meant for two people, so Jennifer and Valentina had to squeeze in, even more difficult on a count of Jennifer's height. It made Beth glad she was pregnant. 

Jennifer got herself and Valentina a round of beers and a mimosa with sparkling grape juice instead of champagne for Beth. She didn't like sparkling grape juice, but she decided not to say anything since Jennifer was paying for all the drinks and food. She sipped it quietly, wondering how she would expose the truth. 

“Is Rosie a chatterbox?”

Beth looked up. “Well... only with people she’s constantly around. Hence why she's very social with her father and me.”

“And not with us.”

“I hope she'll get less shy around strangers when she's older.”

Valentina laughed. “Not every child can be like Benjamin. That boy is biggest chatterbox.”

Jennifer nodded. “This is kinda TMI for Beth, but about a month ago, when Ronnie and I were... doing it, he wanted to sleep with us, so he tried to open the door, but we locked it, so then he just started talking outside the door, asking a million questions until Ronnie got so annoyed that he put his clothes back on and went to yell at him. Except when he opened the door, Benjamin ran in and asked what the noises we were making were.”

Beth made a face. 

“You were naked?”

“Thankfully, I was wearing a dress, and I just pulled it back down.”

“Benjamin remind me of Mary.”

Beth nodded. “I can see that.”

Valentina glanced at Jennifer. “They both walk in during sex.”

Jennifer choked on her drink, laughing. “What?”

“Well, Mary at least wait until we finish before she walk in and lecture. It was before you and Ronnie get back together. Day she find out that Ronnie did not lose his virginity with first wife.”

Beth swallowed. “After August?”

She nodded. 

Beth didn't know how to reply to that. That was at least fifty sins right there.

“Okay, let's stop talking about Ronnie and sex before Beth passes out.”

She rolled her eyes, rubbing the back of her neck. She couldn't tell Jennifer about Ronnie. It was clear she cared about him. She didn't want to ruin it. Maybe Scott had convinced Ronnie to continue the affair. He still clearly liked women. Scott was far more of a deviant than he was. Maybe Scott was the bad influence. 

“This is a bit of a subject change,” Beth began, “but I think it's important I say something.”

Jennifer knit her eyebrows together. “What is it? Are you alright?”

“Both of you should be wary of Scott.”

“Why?”

Valentina also looked surprised. “Scott is one of nicest person I know.”

Beth swallowed. “Scott's... a homosexual. It's why we divorced. I'm warning you to be careful.”

Valentina and Jennifer stared at her.

Jennifer was appalled. She had just outed him like it was nothing. “That is none of your business to be telling, Beth.”

“She is right,” the Latvian added.

Jennifer stared at Beth harshly. “People are killed because of their sexual orientation. You could cost someone's life by outting them. It's not your place.” She looked away. “And I already knew anyway,” she lied. “He told me.”

Valentina nodded. “I did too.”

Beth stared at them in surprise. “Oh.” Her cheeks turned bright red. “I see.” After a minute of silence, she stood up. “I have to use the restroom,” she muttered before awkwardly leaving.

When she was gone, Jennifer turned to Valentina. “What the fuck?”

She shrugged. “She does not like gays.”

“Our very own Anita Bryant.”

Valentina laughed. “So, Scott tell you then?”

“No. I lied.” She sighed. “But... I was starting to suspect that he wasn't straight. Did you lie too?”

“No, I know for about two years.”

“Do you know if Ronnie knows?”

Valentina swallowed, quietly for a moment. “, he does.”

They left shortly after, dinner having grown awkward, and Jennifer wanted to get home before 9. Scott was already gone when they arrived, and all three kids were in bed. 

Ronnie was laying in their bed, smoking a cigarette and reading a book.

“Hi,” she greeted, closing the door behind her. “What are you reading?”

He looked up. “The Princess Bride.”

Jennifer smiled. “That’s my favorite book.”

“Really? Good to know.”

She pulled off the blouse she was wearing. “Do you like it?”

“It's funny. Westley and Buttercup in the beginning remind me of us, except you didn't wait for me, you immediately dumped me.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes as she took off her slacks and bra. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“No, I’m not. Are you gonna shower?”

“I'm too tired. I'll do it in the morning,” she muttered, changing her underwear and putting on a ratty t-shirt from the floor. 

She crawled into the bed as Ronnie put out his cigarette and set the book on his nightstand. She slipped under the covers as Ronnie wrapped an arm around her. 

“Guess that means you're too tired for sex.”

“Sadly.”

“Can I still kiss you?”

“Be my guest.”

Ronnie leaned over and kissed her gently, brushing her cheek with his thumb. Jennifer kissed him back, moving to where she was sitting on his lap, her fingers in his hair. 

“You know,” he muttered, breaking apart, “today would be our 13th anniversary if we hadn't broken up.”

Jennifer had totally forgotten it was May 27th. “Holy fuck.”

“That's what I was thinking. Our relationship could have been a teenager.”

Jennifer got off his lap. “Now I feel like we have to have sex because I didn't get you anything.”

“I'd rather not fuck someone who's gonna pass out as soon as I touch her pussy.” He kissed the top of her head. “I wanna talk to you anyway.”

“What is it?”

“I love you.”

Jennifer beamed. “I love you too.”

He sat up and rubbed his face. “God, this is weird, but would you... marry me?”

“Now?”

He nodded.

Jennifer thought about it for a minute. “...I think I would. 1969 was a long time ago. We're different people. Older.”

She heard him gulp. “Do you wanna get married?”

She gasped, pleasantly surprised, realizing where this was going. “Ronnie, are you proposing?”

Ronnie grinned sheepishly. “I think I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I want kids with you. I wanna make love to you in the middle of the day for no reason. Plus, we'd get tax benefits, and we can start using today as an anniversary again.”

“Well, shouldn't you be on one knee?”

“Considering last time I proposed to you, I made a grand romantic gesture with a speech, and then you dumped me, so no.”

She laughed as Ronnie reached over and pulled out his nightstand drawer, grabbing a velvet box Jennifer hadn't seen in almost eight years. 

“Hope you don't mind that it's the same ring.”

Jennifer grinned from ear to ear, looking at her now fiancé lovingly. “Yes, I think I would like to marry you.”

He sighed in relief and pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead. “Oh good, I was scared you'd dump me again.”

She giggled as he opened the box and carefully slid the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. “All these years later, and I still ended up with you.”

Ronnie kissed her. “You can't escape me. I'm like a parasite.”

She kissed him back and held her hand out, admiring the garnet against her skin. “Fuck, I just said yes, didn't I?”

“No take-backs,” he whispered, kissing her neck. 

“No take-backs,” she whispered, her eyes gazing upon the silver ring around his neck. 

He never took it off, even when showering. Even if he wouldn't admit it, she knew he still wore it for the guilt he felt about Nguyệt. Her death, somehow in his brain, was his fault. Jennifer had never asked how she died. She didn't know if she wanted to. She could tell it wasn't a peaceful death, and Ronnie's presence had a role in it.

Even though he had admitted his love for his first wife wasn't as strong as the love he felt for her, her presence was still there. That ring was the symbol. A romanticized marriage that would have likely ended in anger and resentment if it had continued. She wanted to ask him to take it off. A sign that he had moved on and was ready to continue with his life. But Jennifer knew Ronnie. She had known him twenty years, was an acquaintance with him for four years, and had dated him off-and-on six years. He never could escape the past, no matter how hard he tried, even if the person he was then and the person he was now were strangers. 

Scott was another one. They were close, and now she knew his sexuality. Was there a reason why they were so close? Did Scott have feelings for him? Jennifer closed her eyes as Ronnie wrapped his arms around her, lips still attached to her neck. And yet, she had said yes. She had wanted to. He did too. Was that good enough?

 

Notes:

valentina and jennifer teaming up to embarrass beth for being homophobic slay

 

For Context

Son of Sam --> Serial killer who terrorized New York during '77, mostly in Queens—by the summer everyone was in extreme paranoia as you see with the normally stoic Jennifer. He typically targeted women with long dark hair. Mindhunter on Netflix does an episode about him, and it's very good (just watch the show in general)

Anita Bryant --> Anti-gay activist and former singer, overall a real bitch, going on a crusade about an anti-gay bill in Florida at this time. She got pied in the face in like 77 or 78 lol

 

LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

Ak dievs --> oh my god

Chapter 97: Summer Fantasies (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Bobby and Ella have their wedding shower. Jennifer grows closer with Scott after he admits something she previously suspected

CW: drug abuse/usage, brief mention of period-typical racism, discussion of internalized homophobia

Notes:

HOLY SHIT HAPPY NEW YEAR ITS 2023 AHHHHHHHH AND THANK YOU THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR 4K AHAJGUWLDMNX

starting the year right with an update 😌

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 97: Summer Fantasies 

 

Late June 1977, San Francisco, California



“So you gonna break up during this party?” Ronnie asked Bobby quietly.

He nodded. “Yup.”

“I kinda feel bad for your mom.”

"Oh, I should probably introduce ya to her."

“Which older black lady is she?”

Bobby pointed to a woman in her late 50s with flat-ironed hair with a blue hat. “That's my mama.”

Bobby's mother noticed he was pointing and beckoned him over.

“Why yous pointing?” She asked, giving her youngest son a look.

“Ronnie asked where you were.”

She turned to Ronnie and smiled. “You Ronnie?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’m Hannah. Nice to finally meet you.”

He shook her hand. “You too.”

Hannah gestured to Ella and another younger woman that shared family traits with Hannah and Bobby. “You certainly know Ella, and this is my youngest, Louisa.”

Ronnie had to bite back a laugh. This was technically the second time he had ever met Ella. “Hello.”

Louisa looked more like her brother than her mother. They had the same nose and light brown eyes. “Hi,” she greeted, batting her fake eyelashes. 

Bobby snorted. “Hey, no flirting with the best man. He's engaged as well anyway.”

Louisa looked disappointed. Ronnie wasn't sure if he should have felt flattered by that. 

Ella smiled. “Oh, congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

“Is she here?” Hannah asked.

Ronnie glanced around the large room and spotted Jennifer speaking to Ella's mother and father. “She's with Ella's parents.”

Hannah nodded. “What tribe is she from?”

“Uh, Omaha,” Ronnie replied. “Like the city. But she grew up outside the reservation cause her father had private land and a house.”

“She’s very beautiful.”

Ronnie smiled. “Yeah, she is.” He glanced at Bobby, who looked like he was trying not to laugh. “But enough about me. I'm glad to have finally met you. You must be excited about the wedding.”

Hannah and Louisa nodded furiously while Ella gave him a smirk. Hannah then went on a spiel about how happy she was that her baby boy Bobby was finally getting married, and it wouldn't be long before Louisa did too. It took everything Ronnie had not to laugh. 

When she finished, he quickly excused himself before he broke into laughter. He knew Bobby would have never forgiven him if he had laughed. Instead, he went to get himself some food. 

Ronnie had never heard of a wedding shower before Bobby had called and told him of his plan. He knew what baby showers were, but he doubted they weren't normally this big and decorated. Ella and Bobby were really putting the extra mile for their dramatic “break up”.

He walked to a corner and looked around the room. Jennifer was now speaking to Hannah, Louisa, and Bobby, Ella now talking to her actual partner, a Pakistani girl named Yasmin. Scott was across the hall, nearly being mobbed by teenage and college-aged relatives of the Barns and Walker families, asking for autographs and questions. Ronnie made eye contact with him. Scott mouthed help me. Ronnie just snickered. 

He had been upset when the engagement had been announced. Ronnie had told him he had gotten the ring while visiting his mother during Easter, but Ronnie assumed that Scott thought he wouldn't do it so soon. They had gotten into an argument shortly after Beth and Laurie left, which ended in angry sex. Scott looked like he had cried afterward. Ronnie hadn't expected that. 

He seemed calmer now, joking and hanging out with Jennifer like he wasn't jealous of her. Ronnie felt guilty, but he didn't know what else to do. Jennifer wasn't stupid. She'd find out eventually. Ronnie had thought about coming out to her a few times, but he always chickened out and told her something else. But they were engaged to be married. If she found that he kept something this big from her, he was scared she'd leave. But he was more scared that she'd leave because of his sexual tastes and/or Scott.

Jennifer had been acting funky too. She'd give him looks of curiosity and suspicion. Maybe it was just because she was still getting used to being his fiancée. Or that Benjamin had started calling her mom when they told him they were getting married. He had been so happy too, clapping and cheering that he was going to have a mommy. Ronnie pretended he didn't notice the tears in her eyes. Or his.

And of course, Nguyệt, milling around the guests, touching things with an amused smirk on her face. It didn't look right. She wore the same dress Jennifer was wearing, though hers was a dark shade of blue while Jennifer's was a bright red. Sometimes, she would look at Ronnie, and he swore the ring on his chest grew warmer.

He turned his head and saw Scott walking toward him, having escaped his little mob.

“How did you escape?”

“I said I wouldn't sing or dance with anyone at the wedding if I couldn't talk to my friend.”

Ronnie laughed. “You're cruel.”

Scott shrugged and lowered his voice. “Not as cruel as Ella and Bobby. Can you imagine what everyone would do if they found out it was a scam this whole time?”

“Hey, don't jinx it.”

“Does the future Mrs. McKittrick 2 know about the real thing?”

Ronnie elbowed him. “Don't call her that. And yes, she does know. Bobby told her at the Christmas party we had before we moved.”

“What does she think?”

“She thought it was funny. A bit dumb, but fair.”

“So, she's not... like Beth?”

“In terms of morality?”

“I guess.”

“Fuck, no. But I don't know how she'd react if I told her about me. The big difference is that I'm fucking her. Bobby is not. Nor I am fucking him. …Anymore. Not that she knows that we used to in the first place.”

Scott put his hands in his pocket. “Sexuality is a pretty important thing to disclose to future wives.”

“I know that,” Ronnie muttered. “I'm working on it.”

 The grand breakup between Bobby and Ella, planned for literal years, was glorious. It was like watching a soap opera take place right in front of you. It was so shallow, petty, and emotional, that Ronnie almost forgot it wasn't real. Bobby was right. Gay men do have a talent for lying. And being overdramatic.

The aftermath almost turned violent, or that was what Bobby told him. Ronnie had left before it got too crazy with Jennifer and Scott. Bobby met them at Scott's hotel later, and they toasted to a wedding well ruined. 

“I enjoyed being a fake best man. I did nothing.”

“Well, you would have had to plan my bachelor party.”

Ronnie set his wine glass down. “True.”

“Are you planning on having a bachelor party?” Scott asked.

All Ronnie could think of was Scott's bachelor party. That had been the beginning. The beginning of everything. “No.” He glanced at Jennifer. “Are you gonna have a bachelorette party?”

She shrugged. “We haven't even set a wedding date.”

Bobby sipped from his glass. “Do y'all have any ideas when the date will be?”

Ronnie shrugged, watching Nguyệt pour herself a glass of wine from an imaginary bottle. “Sometime next year.”

An hour later, Ronnie walked into the bathroom to find Scott snorting a line of cocaine next to the sink. “What the fuck?”

Scott looked up and wiped his nose. “I said I wasn't doing it as much as I used to, not that I stopped completely.”

Ronnie nodded. Jennifer and Bobby were drunk, laughing to themselves. Ronnie had drunk as much as they had but was only tipsy. The power of being a heavyweight. And an alcoholic.

Scott then gestured to the three remaining lines of coke. “Want some?”

Ronnie stared at it for about .5 seconds before going over to the sink. “I can never say no to peer pressure.”

The blond scoffed. 

Ronnie held his right nostril and snorted up a white line before snorting up a second line. It had been years since he had done coke. He stood up, sniffing as he wiped his nose. “Been years since I've done that.”

“You look like you just did some yesterday.”

“Thanks,” he replied, watching Scott snort the last line. 

Scott wiped his nose and sighed. “I don't want to be in the background, Ronnie.” He brushed off the rest of the drug onto the floor. “And I don't want to hide from Jennifer. She's a good friend, and I like being around her, even if she makes me insane with envy.”

Ronnie stared at the floor tiles. He didn't know what to say.

 

Thursday, June 30th, 1977, Ponquogue Beach, Hampton Bays, New York

 

She wasn't really sure why she invited Scott to the beach, but now she was glad she did. A creepy man had been staring at her until Scott had arrived and sat down next to her. Plus, he had brought a beach umbrella. 

Jennifer watched Benjamin run in the sand, giggling as he chased the seagulls. She couldn't help but smile too. He looked so happy.

“Hey, not so near the water without me or Scott!” She called out when Benjamin took a step too close to the ocean for her liking. He had only started swimming lessons this summer. Jennifer didn't want to put them to the test just yet.

Scott looked amused, wearing yellow-tinted aviators and orange swim trunks with yellow mosaic patterns all over them. “Ronnie gets back on the 3rd, right?”

“Mhmm.”

Ronnie, unfortunately, was picked by his boss to accompany him on a business trip, meaning he was stuck in LA. Jennifer missed him, but it was also nice to have the house to herself and Benjamin as they got to know each other better. She still couldn't believe he was calling her Mom. It made her all tingly. She liked the feeling of being his stepmother. 

She adjusted herself on the large blanket she and Scott were laying on. She had liked the swimsuit when she had bought it, it being in her favorite color of yellow, but now she felt like her tits were going to pop out any second. Even Scott would stare at them when he thought she wasn't paying attention. 

“You're recording an album right now, right?” she asked after the silence went on for too long.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “I think it's gonna be my best one yet.”

She scoffed. “You probably say that for all of your albums.”

He shook his head. “No, I think 21 and Boy are terrible. I have no idea how I won awards from them.”

“Wow,” Jennifer laughed before pausing for a second. “Yeah, they're not your best work.”

“How would you rank them?”

She thought about it for a minute. “...From worst to best: 21, Boy, A Greeting Call That Beckons to All, The Killing Son, and The Cashmere Lady from Venus Wears Fur.”

“That's your favorite?”

She shrugged. “I love glam rock. Miss it, to tell the truth. That album marks the end of it.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, reaching over for a beer.

“What’s the title of your latest album? Or is that a spoiler?”

Scott's eyebrows knit together. “Um, we haven't worked it out yet. I liked the idea of a sensual and powerful woman on the cover. Darlene suggested something with the Queen of Sheba, and I definitely like the idea of that. I'm stuck between The Queen of Sheba or just Sheba.”

Jennifer thought it was sweet how passionate Scott spoke about his music. “I think The Queen of Sheba makes more of a statement. Is that what you want?”

He nodded, taking a sip from his beer can. “Yeah. Thank you.”

“I am an English teacher. Well, not officially until September.”

“You're also a writer.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have four articles in Ms. magazine and two short stories published in my college newspaper. I'm not a writer.”

He frowned. “Don't put yourself down like that. I've read your work. I think you're a great writer.”

She cocked her head. “Really?”

“Yeah, I'd love to see a novel with your name on it.” He sounded sincere.

“Well, I use J.M. Parker as a pen name. It's easier to get stuff published when your name sounds like a guy. A white guy, if we're going to be real.”

“That’s not fair.”

“That’s life.”

“But you won't even be Parker anymore. You’ll be Jennifer McKittrick.”

Jennifer sighed. “Yeah.”

He paused and looked at her, grey eyes staring through the yellow. “Do you wanna be on my album cover?”

She was flabbergasted. “The Queen of Sheba?”

“Yeah, you’re exactly what I think of when I say her name.”

Jennifer's face grew hot. “I’ve never modeled before.”

“That’s okay.”

“You’re serious?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

Jennifer stared at him in shock before wrapping her arms around him. “Oh my god, I’d love to!”

Scott laughed. She had a feeling he was surprised that she hugged him. 

She sat back. “But can you do something?”

“Sure.”

“If I’m on the cover, I want it to mean something. I don't want to be viewed as some exotic beauty.”

“Technically, you're the opposite of exotic.”

“You know what I mean.”

He nodded. “Well, um, I donate five percent of all album sales to charity already. Maybe for this album, I donate the five to indigenous charities?”

“You would do that?” Jennifer was touched. 

“An artist should do what their muse tells them.”

“I'm your muse now?”

“Yeah, deal with it.”

They both laughed.

Jennifer then swallowed. Perhaps there was a reason why she had invited him, not just to keep her company among strange men. “Scott?”

“Hmm?”

She took off the floppy hat she was wearing and ran her hands through her hair. “I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to promise me that'll you tell me the truth.”

The pleasant look on his face turned into a nervous one. He took off his sunglasses, set his beer down, and stared. 

“Beth outed you when she was visiting last month. It was um when I took her and Valentina out.”

Scott paled. 

“I lied and said I already knew.” She touched his knee. “I also told her that she had no right to do that. I lied because I didn't want her to hurt you, and... I had suspected it for a while.”

He swallowed. “Oh.”

“Scott, I don't care if you're gay.” She then blew air through her nose and smiled. “I mean, I'm sad because I'll never have the chance to sleep with your hot ass, but I do believe in gay rights. I had a lot of non-heterosexual friends in college. I'm not Beth.”

He nodded.

She sighed and closed her eyes. It was time for the big question. “Are you sleeping with Ronnie?”

Scott's eyes widened in shock. “No, no—what would make you think that?” He rushed out, his breathing growing more erratic. 

“Scott,” she said gently. 

He looked at her, trembling. He looked nothing like the man who had just asked her to be on the cover of his album. Finally, he looked away and nodded.

The first thing Jennifer felt was relief, which surprised her. She thought she’d feel crushed. Heartbroken. Not ease.

Scott then started talking. He told her everything. How he and Ronnie first met to the night of his bachelor party, which had ignited everything. He told her about the river and the first time they fucked later that night, how Scott had felt so disgusted with himself in the morning, he had thrown up and started crying. He talked about realizing his sexuality, taking Ronnie on tour with him, watching him fuck Valentina. He told her about the fight that had ended everything and how miserable Scott felt without him. How he had only fucked men that at least somewhat reminded him of Ronnie. How he made amends with Beth and saw Ronnie again at Rosie's baptism. How they had restarted their affair that very night. How jealous he was of Jennifer. How guilty he felt. 

Jennifer just sat there and listened to him quietly. When he finished, she sighed loudly. “Jesus.”

“Please don't tell him I told you,” he uttered pleadingly. “He loves you. He really does. It'd break him if you left.”

“I won't leave him.” She swallowed. “I've already known that he's not straight for a while.”

Scott looked surprised. “Oh.”

Jennifer yawned, staring at Benjamin, who was building a sandcastle with some other kids on the beach. “Can I tell you a story? Two actually.”

He nodded. 

Jennifer took a deep breath. She had never said this out loud before. “When Ronnie and I were in high school, he was on the basketball and football teams. He liked basketball more, I could tell, but he had played football a lot longer. In my sophomore year and his junior year, there was a new senior at our school. His name was James Victors. He had grown up on the reservation with an Omaha father and a white mother and had started attending our high school to play basketball. 

He was my cousins’ cousin. I guess that sorta made us cousins by marriage, but we barely knew each other.”

She sighed. “He was really, really attractive and amazing at basketball. All the girls swooned over him, and people started being a lot nicer to us other Omaha, which was nice. 

By the time the basketball season started, he was the captain of the team, and Ronnie thought he was the coolest person ever. He'd talk about him all the time, about how great of a ballplayer he was and whatever. I thought it was starting to sound like hero worship.

James would ruffle up Ronnie's hair, and they often played one on one with each other. They were a lot closer compared to anyone else on the team.”

She cleared her throat and continued. “When our school won the state championship that year, it was a pretty big deal because it was the first time we had won. I was at the game. I remember when the buzzer went off, and the crowd erupted into cheers, the basketball team all piled up for one big sweaty hug they always did after they won a game, now with a giant trophy.

I jumped off the bleachers and ran to greet him, prepared to hug a sweaty man, but the first thing he did after the group hug was hug James. I was surprised by that. When he let go, I stared at them. ...It was brief, five seconds at most, but he looked at him with the same sense of want and admiration he’d look at me when I’d take my top and bra off.”

Scott just looked at her with an equally surprised and unsure expression.

“But it was gone as soon as I saw it, and then Ronnie ran over to me, swung me in the air, and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. Still, I couldn’t shake that look for months. 

James ended up playing college basketball in Milwaukee. They kept in touch, but by the time Ronnie graduated, they weren't talking, and Ronnie was too busy in the summer working to make time to see him. I was relieved, though I felt horrible that I did. I don't think Ronnie ever realized it.” She then smirked. “He was a bit of a blockhead.”

Scott laughed. 

“James died in a car accident in December 1969, after Ronnie had been shipped to Vietnam. I don't think anyone told him. I don't think I want to. I know that's stupid, but I still remember that single moment of jealousy and the shock of my own jealousy.”

Butterflies began to flutter in her stomach. “But then I graduated, and I decided to put it out of my mind. I stopped thinking about it. Until Woodstock.” Jennifer looked at Scott. “We had a threesome with some guy we met. We were all drunk and high. I don't remember his name or what his face looked like, but I remember three things about him: he was blond, tall…” She looked at the tattoo on his chest and brushed her fingers against it. 

Scott shivered from the sudden touch.

“And he had an eagle tattoo on his chest, just like yours,” she whispered, pulling her hand away. “It was fun, and when they started touching each other, I thought it was the hottest thing I'd ever seen in my life.

The morning after, however, was different. The man was gone, and I wasn’t high anymore. All I could think about was the look he gave James and the little I could remember from the night before. When Ronnie woke up, he literally couldn't recall a single thing, so I didn't say anything. How could I?

That trip changed everything. We both knew it. I knew he'd figure it out eventually, and the fallout wouldn't be good. 19 year old Ronnie would have been revolted to realize he liked men as much as he liked women. I think he suspects what happened now. He's not stupid,” Jennifer muttered, looking back at Scott.

He looked down.

“What do you remember about Woodstock, Scott?”

“‘Bout as much as you do. I realized it back in May, when you and me were dancing to ABBA.”

She sighed. “Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Does he know?”

“No.”

“Does he love you?”

“I don't know,” he whispered, leaning against her head as his eyes began to water.

Jennifer rubbed his shoulder gently. “I won't say anything,” she soothed as she felt a tear splash on her shoulder. “For all three of our sakes.”

Notes:

that description back in chapter 17 was all for this moment 😳😳

Note: I've decided the second to last chapter works better as a short story, hence the chapter count is now 120 (which means each volume has 60 chapters and we love symmetry.)

Chapter 98: Nightmare (Voll II, Part IV)

Summary:

Ronnie’s mental health worsens as he and Jennifer discuss her past relationships after they dated as the topic of children comes up.

CW: Sexual content (it's consensual, but it's still iffy, however, it's very brief), brief mention of miscarriage/abortion, discussion of past abusive relationship/abuser,

Notes:

It's been a year since I started posting this on here, which is absolutely insane. I cannot state how thankful I am for the many comments, bookmarks, hits, and kudos I have—I honestly thought I would never get more hits than a thousand, so the fact I have over four times as much means the world to me, and I cannot say thank enough! <3

also a late feliz dia de los reyes to all my fellow folk who also celebrate the holiday and a late merry Christmas to all those celebrating orthodox Christmas too!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 98: Nightmare

 

Wednesday, August 10th, 1977, Bayside, Queens, New York



Nguyệt got worse after Ronnie returned from his business trip in July. She would stand next to him, almost touching. She made more facial expressions, seemingly directed at Scott and Jennifer. She would scowl when either of them was around, looking envious. Ronnie was almost tempted to tell someone about her. It was getting harder and harder to ignore her. 

Maybe she was acting like this because Jennifer and Ronnie started planning for their wedding. The process alone was so much different from the first time. Maybe because it didn't happen within a span of two weeks. 

“Realistically, what do you think we can have as a budget?”

Ronnie took a sip of his coffee. He had taken the day off of work so they could work on budgeting and so Ronnie could take Benjamin out. “Well, that depends if we're going to have it outside or not.”

“Do you want it outside?”

“In New York City?”

Jennifer sighed. “Fair. So at that hotel we looked at last weekend?”

He nodded. “We can have the wedding in one hall and the reception in another.”

“We're having seventy guests, right?”

“Are you okay with that?”

“It's perfect. More exclusive, and that means I don't have to invite my boss.”

Jennifer laughed and rolled her eyes. “Well, food will probably be around 600 to 800, so I think maybe an initial budget of 3,000 may be a good start.”

He grimaced. “That's a lot of money.”

“You forget that we both work, and my father has promised he'll pay for 50 percent.”

“So 1500?”

Jennifer nodded. “Yup”

That made Ronnie feel significantly better. “And cause we're a feminist household, we'll each pay half of the rest.”

She laughed. 

Ronnie drained the last of his coffee. “When does your friend arrive?”

Jennifer set her pen down. “In about an hour.”

Angie Moretti, Jennifer's best friend from college, had recently moved to Trenton, New Jersey, only an hour and a half from Bayside. Jennifer was excited to see her friend again. Apparently, she had been the one who got Jennifer involved in the AIM and taught her to embrace her roots. Ronnie also thought it was kind of funny because Angie was also half Italian, her father having immigrated right before WWII. 

“What are you gonna do with Benjamin today?”

Ronnie shrugged. “Probably take him to the basketball court. Hopefully, he'll like it as much as we do.”

Jennifer nodded. She had played college basketball and had won two championships during her four years there. Their most recent date had ended up playing one on one as neither of them wanted to go out at night. Not with the psychotic Son of Sam lurking. 

Benjamin was excited to spend time with his father. He ran and skipped around as they made their way to the court. “What's your favorite sport in the whole wide world, Daddy?”

“Basketball.”

“I thought you liked skiing.”

“Well, skiing is my favorite winter sport, and most times I can’t afford it anyway.”

“Oh,” Benjamin muttered, clutching the basketball in his hand. It was bigger than his head. 

The basketball court was surprisingly empty. Ronnie was glad it was. It made it easier to show Benjamin some skills. Ronnie made a few baskets before putting Benjamin on his shoulders so he could dunk the ball into the net. 

“I like making baskets,” Benjamin mused as Ronnie swung him off his shoulders. “I wanna make more.”

“Well, my shoulders are starting to hurt. Maybe when you're older and taller, you can put the ball in the hoop without my help.”

“I hope so.”

Ronnie smirked. He was glad Benjamin liked the sport. He'd much rather have his kids into basketball than football. 

“Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“I'm super hot.”

Ronnie wiped the sweat off his forehead. He could feel beads of sweat trailing down his back. “I'm hot too. How about we go back home and eat some popsicles in the freezer?”

Benjamin's eyes lit up. “Yes, let's go do that!”

“But then we both need to take a shower after. Got it?”

His son ran over and picked up the basketball. “Yup!”

Jennifer and Angie were in deep conversation when Ronnie and Benjamin got back. She looked up and smiled.

“Back already?”

“It's too hot.”

Jennifer turned to Angie. “This is my fiancé Ronnie.”

Angie stood up. “Hi, I'm Angie.”

Ronnie smiled. “Hi. I'd shake your hand, but I'm covered in sweat.”

“Good to know.” She nodded toward Benjamin, who ran into the kitchen. “Your son?”

“My oldest one, yeah.”

“Ronnie also has a two year old boy with another woman.”

“Two stepkids?”

“Yep.”

Angie glanced at Ronnie. “Do they like her?”

“Benjamin calls her Mommy, and August is too young to care, so yeah.”

Angie looked at her friend. “Aw, he calls you Mom? That’s so cute.”

Jennifer smiled. “Yeah.”

Benjamin came back holding a cherry and an orange-flavored popsicle. “Orange is my favorite color, so you can have the red one.”

Ronnie nodded as he took the frozen treat from his son. He liked cherry the best anyway. “Thank you.”

He took Benjamin outside so they could eat without making a mess. Toby, who was already outside, plopped his slobbery face on Ronnie's knee, hoping for a lick. 

“This is mine,” Ronnie muttered, petting Toby with his free hand.

Toby whimpered.

“Can we go to the pool?” Benjamin asked, wiping his sticky hands on his shorts. 

Ronnie frowned. “Maybe Jennifer can take you tomorrow.” He had hoped by now he would be able to swim with no problems. He could stand in shallow water, but he didn't like being splashed at. Or the crowds.

“You mean Mommy can take me.”

He smirked. “Yeah.”

“I like having a mommy. Do you think my real mommy would be okay with me having another one?”

“Uh... yeah, I think she would have just wanted you to be happy,” Ronnie replied, ignoring the sour face on Nguyệt.

After finishing the popsicle, cleaning Benjamin up, and sending him to shower, Ronnie went to his room to do the same. He switched on the showerhead and stripped as the shower heated. He could never take cold showers. He'd had plenty of those in Vietnam. 

He stepped in and closed the door, stepping into the stream of water. The steam felt good against his skin, and he sighed. It had taken a while to be able to enjoy showers again, and now that he did, sometimes he felt like he could stand for hours under the hot water spraying against his back. It was therapeutic. 

After washing his hair, Ronnie heard the door open as someone got in behind him. He smiled. A shower was even better with another person. He assumed Angie must have left.

“Did Angie leave, Jen? And have you checked that Benjamin is out of the shower already?” Ronnie asked, washing the remaining bits of shampoo off his face.

“I'm not that woman.”

Ronnie froze. He hadn't heard that voice in six years. It couldn't be her. There was no fucking way. Shaking, he turned around and opened his eyes to see Nguyệt, completely nude.

He nearly fell back as he pressed himself against the tiled wall. “What the fuck?”

She smirked, tracing her pointer finger on her right breast.

“You-you couldn't talk-”

“Before?” she answered. “Well, I'm here now, Ronnie.”

She reached out and touched his arm. It felt real. 

“You're not real. You're just a figment of my imagination,” he spat out, breathing loudly.

Nguyệt just grinned. “What can you prove? I look real.” She grabbed his hand and forced him to touch her labia. “I feel real.” She then used her other hand to pull him down and kiss him. “I taste real too,” she whispered against his lips. 

Ronnie pushed her away and stood up as tall as he could. “Get the fuck away from me! You're not her. You just look like her. Nguyệt was kind and innocent.”

“I was kind and innocent until you killed me.”

“I didn't kill you.”

She sighed. “You marked me for death. As soon as you kissed me, I was dead.”

“You made the first move, not me.”

She smiled eerily, reaching out and stroking his cheek. Ronnie involuntarily leaned down at the touch. “It is okay, tình yêu của tôi. I'm here now. No longer a ghost.”

Ronnie sank to the floor, trembling as tears welled up in his eyes. Nguyệt followed him, putting her hands on his chest and the ring around his neck as the water bounced off her back and head, wetting her body. One of her hands left his chest and trailed down to his inner thigh. He gasped at the touch, shaking. 

Nguyệt pushed the wet hair off of his face. “I'm here now,” she repeated, leaning forward and kissing his cheek.

He sat there watching, horrified and yet, equally wanting, as he moved his face so he could kiss her lips and wrap his hands around her head. 

 

***

 

“Ronnie, are you okay?” Jennifer asked as she crawled into their bed.

He couldn't look at her. Not after what he had done a few hours prior. “I'm fine.”

“You've been off since you got back. Did something happen?”

I had depressing sex with the hallucination of my dead wife. “I'm okay.”

“Then why aren't you looking at me?” Ronnie gulped and turned his body to face Jennifer. She was wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt of Ronnie's. Her eyebrows were knit in concern. 

“I'm okay, just dazed, that's all.”

Jennifer adjusted her pillows. “Are you too tired to talk then?”

Ronnie sat up. “No. What's up?”

Jennifer tucked her hair behind her ear. 

He raised a brow. “Are you okay?”

“I wanted to talk.”

“Oh.” Ronnie didn't want to have one of those.

“Not one of those talks,” she added, almost like she was reading his mind. “I wanna talk about the future.”

“What kind of future?”

“Children.”

“Children?”

She nodded. “I know it's early, but I wanna have this conversation now.”

Ronnie stared at her belly. “Are you pregnant? I thought you were on birth control.”

She smirked. “No, I'm not pregnant, but I want to talk about having kids. Me and you.”

“Ah.”

Jennifer continued. “We're engaged to be married, we have a house, we both have stable incomes, and we already have an extra bedroom. I think we're both at a point where we actually can plan to have children.”

“You wanna have a kid with me?”

“Yeah, who else?”

Though he still felt a bit guilty, he smiled. “Are you saying you wanna go off birth control now?”

“Mhmm.”

“But shouldn't we wait until we like get married?”

“Well, I know that you don't have a problem with baby-making, considering you got two different women pregnant after fucking them just once, but... I'm not exactly the most fertile woman ever. It runs in the family, difficulties with having kids. My mom miscarried twice before Pamela was born, another time between me and my sister, and again when I was about three. And you know how Pamela miscarried back in November.”

“Oh my god, your poor mother.”

“I’m worried that I will have similar problems with getting pregnant, and I already know for a fact that it’s harder for me to get pregnant than most women.”

“So you wanna start trying now?”

She nodded. “And my mom and her mom both went through menopause pretty early, so ya know, I'd like to pop a few kids out before then.”

Ronnie reached out and rubbed her shoulder. “Hey, I'm down with making babies.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“But are you sure that you can have kids? Because um, you might be infertile, which is fine by me ...I don't care,” he trailed off, realizing that probably wasn't a good question to ask.

The warm expression on her face melted into a stony one.

Fuck.

“I know I can get pregnant... because I have been pregnant, Ronnie.”

He stared at her. “You have?”

“I had an abortion.”

Ronnie didn't know what to say. 

Jennifer swallowed. “Angie and I have been best friends since we got put together as roommates freshman year of college. She's been there for me, and shit, she was the one who bailed me out when I got arrested protesting.” She sighed. “But I know she will never forgive herself for introducing me to Freddie Heartwood. He’s Sioux. His brother was dating her cousin, and he was pretty involved with the AIM and was everything my previous boyfriend was not. Everyone saw him as this young leader who would right our injustices and see our lands returned. Everyone idolized him. I did too. So when he asked me out, I was stunned.

The honeymoon phase of our relationship lasted about three months. Then he got mean. He’d yell at me for no reason and then gaslight me to make it seem like it was my fault. He was also bothered by the fact he wasn't the only man I'd been with.”

Jennifer bit her lip. He could tell she was choking back a cry. “Then Wounded Knee happened. His brother was one of the people who got injured by the FBI in the standoff. He became bitter and violent. At first, it was just returning our lands and peacefully living with non-natives, but to Freddie, anyone who wasn't an Indian deserved a one-way ticket to hell, even our non-indigenous supporters. He grew verbally abusive to those who were only a quarter or half and hated the fact I had dated you, a quote colonizer. I jokingly argued that you were Irish, so it didn't count, but then he slapped me. It was never physical until then.

But then he started apologizing and begging for forgiveness, so I thought it’d be the last time. It wasn't. The second time, he pushed me down the stairs, and I sprained my ankle. It was then I realized I had to leave or I'd never get out. So I did. Limping, I packed all my shit while he was at work and left. Then I got that job offer in California. I could start over, away from him. Shortly after I moved in with Layla, who I already knew from the AIM, I learned I was pregnant. I didn't want it. I wasn't ready to have it. I didn't want a child with his face.”

Ronnie reached his hand out and gently touched her face. Jennifer leaned into his hand, closing her eyes. “I'm proud to have been in the AIM, but I'm glad I left it too. It taught me so much, but the things I did then I would never do now. I'm not a violent person. I never have been.” She scoffed. “It's almost ironic too. Historically speaking, the Sioux treated the Omaha like shit. We're a peaceful tribe. Our fucking flag says 'Heritage for Peace'.”

He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her. “God, Jen.”

Jennifer flung her arms around him and sighed. He could feel wet tears on his neck. “I'm just glad that I can tell you this and not feel ashamed. It was a hard road to being back to me.”

He nodded, knowing he had to say something. “I think-” he began but was interrupted by the phone going off. “Who the fuck is calling at 2 in the morning?” he mumbled, picking it up. “What?”

“They caught Son of Sam,” Scott's voice stated. 

Ronnie's eyes widened. “What?”

“What is it?” Jennifer asked.

“They just announced that they've arrested him. Turn on the radio.”

“Turn on the radio,” Ronnie muttered.

Jennifer reached over and turned on the radio within their alarm clock. Sure enough, it repeated what Scott had just told them.

She gasped. “Oh my god.”

The summer's terror was over. Son of Sam had been caught. Jennifer had admitted to being in an abusive relationship and wanted a baby. And Ronnie's dead wife was now talking to him. 

Notes:

that was a lot

 

On a side note, the term Indian used to describe Indigenous peoples is very outdated and most natives I know dislike the term, and I agree, but it was the 70s, and many still use the term today, especially the older generation but yeah. I use it about 5 fives in said context, but I suppose I'm trying to say be mindful of the past and stuff

For Context

3,000 in today's money is 14,738.17 (The average wedding today costs about 30k, while in 1974 the average was 2,000, which is about 10k today, but really lavish weddings we see today weren't as common unless you were rich until the 1980s.)

tình yêu của tôi --> My love in Vietnamese

Wounded Knee Incident --> Second Wounded Knee, began on February 27, 1973, when approximately 200 Oglala Lakota and followers of the American Indian Movement seized and occupied the town of Wounded Knee, South Dakota, United States, on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. The protest followed the failure of an effort of the Oglala Sioux Civil Rights Organization to impeach tribal president Richard Wilson, whom they accused of corruption and abuse of opponents.

Oglala and AIM activists controlled the town for 71 days while the United States Marshals Service, FBI agents, and other law enforcement agencies cordoned off the area. The activists chose the site of the 1890 Wounded Knee Massacre for its symbolic value. In March, a U.S. Marshal was shot by gunfire coming from the town, which ultimately resulted in paralysis. Frank Clearwater (both part of Cherokee and Apache nations) was shot and wounded on April 17th, dying 8 days later on April 25th, 1973, and Lawrence "Buddy" Lamont (Oglala) was shot and killed on April 26th, 1973. Ray Robinson, a civil rights activist who joined the protesters, disappeared during the events and is believed to have been murdered. Due to damage to the houses, the small community was not reoccupied until the 1990s.

The occupation attracted wide media coverage, especially after the press accompanied two U.S. Senators from South Dakota to Wounded Knee. The events electrified Native Americans, and many Native American supporters traveled to Wounded Knee to join the protest. At the time there was widespread public sympathy for the occupation's goals, as Americans were becoming more aware of longstanding issues of injustice related to Natives. Afterward, AIM leaders Dennis Banks and Russell Means were indicted on charges related to the events, but the federal court dismissed their 1974 case for prosecutorial misconduct, a decision upheld on appeal.

Wilson stayed in office and in 1974 was re-elected amid charges of intimidation, voter fraud, and other abuses. The rate of violence climbed on the reservation as conflict opened between political factions in the following three years; residents accused Wilson's private militia, Guardians of the Oglala Nation (GOONs), of much of it. According to AIM, there were 64 unsolved murders during these years, including opponents of the tribal government, such as Pedro Bissonette, director of the Oglala Sioux Civil Rights Organization (OSCRO), however, this is disputed, with an FBI report in 2000 concluding that there were only 4 unsolved murders and that many of the deaths listed weren't homicides or political. (Wiki)

Sioux Comment Jennifer Makes --> yeah, the Sioux back in the ye olden days forced many tribes out of their lands, though that changed when white settlers and soldiers started taking their land, hence many groups teaming up and the Ghost Dance movement from Northern Paiute tribe, and various tribal wars during the 19th century. Fun fact, the Omaha have never taken up arms against the USA, and they even fought for the Union in the Civil War.

Son of Sam --> Surrendered in the early hours of August 11th, 1977

Chapter 99: Laura Anne Alders (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Beth and Laurie welcome a daughter. Scott calls Ronnie.

CW: Childbirth (nothing descriptive or detailed), brief period-typical homophobia (spoiler its beth)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 99: Laura Anne Alders

 

Tuesday, August 23rd, 1977, Houston, Texas



The pain was dull and numbing, but Beth could still feel it. The bulging pain of childbirth. She had insisted on having epidurals when giving birth to Rosie. No way was she going to not do the same with this child. 

“You’re doing so good,” Laurie spoke soothingly, gripping her hand as he pushed her hair back with his other. 

Beth panted and cried out, letting her head fall back.

“Alright, Mrs. Alders, we can see the baby's head,” the nurse said, wiping the sweat off her forehead with a damp washcloth. “I'm gonna need ya to push one more time, as hard as you can.”

Exhausted, Beth nodded and sat back up, her loud breathing filling up the room. The last time she had done this, she was Mrs. Stern. Now she was Mrs. Alders. 

“You're almost there, baby.”

Gritting her teeth and clenching Laurie's hand, she gave out one final cry before pushing as hard as she could before falling back, her view turning black. As she fell into unconsciousness, she heard the ring of a baby's cries and smiled. Her baby. 

When she opened her eyes again, she saw Laurie sitting next to her, holding a bundle of blankets. Her heart leaped with joy. 

“Hi,” he greeted. “Wanna hold Laura?”

Laura. A girl. She had a baby girl. Beth nodded, smiling weakly.

Laurie gave Laura to Beth carefully, helping her adjust her arms. She gazed upon her newborn daughter, a small pink baby with a tuft of brown hair. She felt Laurie lean down and kiss her forehead as she laughed quietly. They had a child of their own. 

Mary and Barbara arrived at the hospital later that day. Barbara had already been there for a few days, but Mary only arrived that morning. Shannon was staying with their Aunt Eileen while Mary was with them, but even then, Mary could only stay five days, so Barbara had offered to stay and help. Not to mention Scott was arriving to take Rosie for the first six weeks. 

“Hi, honey,” Barbara greeted, coming into the hospital room with white and pink flowers. 

Beth smiled tiredly. “Hi.”

Mary followed, holding Rosie in her arms. “Laurie refused to tell us over the phone what gender the baby was,” she declared in her familiar brogue. 

“So, is it a Laura or a Thomas?”

“Laura.”

Mary turned to her oldest granddaughter. “Did you hear that, aingeal? You have a sister!”

Rosie glanced at her mother. “A sister?”

Beth nodded. “You're a big sister now.”

Rosie looked back at her grandmother, confused. 

Mary just smiled. 

Barbara set the flowers down on the small table next to her. “How are you, honey?”

Beth nodded. “I’m good. Laura was a lot easier than Rosie labor-wise.”

“I’ve heard the second time is easier.”

Mary shook her head. “You were so much harder than Ronnie and Shannon. I was miserable.” She adjusted Rosie in her lap. “Then again, you were a much bigger baby than either of your siblings.”

“I was?”

“Well, Shannon was two weeks early, and I had some health problems when I was pregnant with your brother, but the actual births weren't that bad for me at least.”

“That is a bit funny,” Barbara mused. “Considering Ronnie is a giant, and Shannon is already taller than both of you.”

Beth always wondered how her siblings were so tall when she and her mother were so short. And Ronald hadn't been a tall man either. “Where did that height even come from?”

“Your Uncle Liam was 6'4, and your Grandpa Patrick was also very tall. That's why your cousin is tall. Unfortunately, you and I were blessed with me mother's height.”

“My parents weren't tall either,” her mother-in-law added. “Neither was my David. I am still surprised that Laurie is as tall as he is.”

“How tall was your late husband?”

“5’7.”

Beth was surprised. How did Laurie end up 5'11?

“I can only imagine how tall Jennifer and Ronnie's children will be.” Mary shuddered. “It is already odd enough that my son is a foot taller than me. I cannot imagine my grandchildren being even taller.”

Barbara sighed, standing. “I can’t either.” She gestured toward the door. “I'm going to check on the baby with Laurie. I’ll be back, yes?”

Both women nodded as she left the room. 

Mary turned back to her oldest daughter. “Okay, now I can ask the awkward question.”

Beth raised her eyebrows. “...Yes?”

“Was it odd with Scott because he was so tall?”

Beth shrugged, yawning. “I think it was more of a problem for him, craning his neck whenever we kissed.”

“Do you think he will get remarried? I think it may be nice for Rosie to have a stepmother. Makes it a bit more normal.”

She scoffed. “He will never remarry.”

“Why? I know he’s your ex-husband, but I still quite like him.”

Beth swallowed bitterly. “Scott's... not the marrying kind. He figured it out after we got married.”

Mary frowned. “No need to sound distasteful. Rosie is right here.”

Rosie perked up at the sound of her name. 

“Sorry. Just tired.”

“I know, we'll let you rest soon.” Mary glanced at her granddaughter. “How are William and Claire? I haven't heard from them since the wedding.”

Beth sighed. She hadn't spoken with either of her former in-laws since they divorced. Scott refused to let them see Rosie anyway since he had gotten into an argument with them. Beth didn't know the details. A part of her pitied them and wanted to let them see Rosie, but she knew if Scott found out, she'd be in trouble.

“Scott got into a fight with his parents, and now they're not talking to him, or he's not talking to them, and he won't let them see Rosie.”

“Oh my. What could be so bad that one would stop talking to their own child?”

Because their child is a disgusting homosexual, Beth replied internally. “Maybe they don’t like all the things he does as a musician. I don’t.”

Mary didn't reply. 

 

Four Days Later, Sugar Land, Texas

 

Scott was glad Rosie wasn't a newborn anymore. He didn't miss the sleepless nights. He stood in the living room of her suburban house, watching Laurie's mother and Mary crone over the baby. Laurie stood in a corner watching. Scott could tell he was nervous. He understood all too well how he felt. 

“When are you leaving with Rosie?” Beth asked quietly, coming out of her bedroom. She looked exhausted. 

“Tomorrow morning. I got a hotel for the night.”

“You know this is part of your 73 days, right?”

“I know.”

“You don't have to do this.”

“I want to. Besides, they don't have Coney Island in Texas.”

Beth sighed. “Be careful with her.”

“What makes you think I wouldn't?”

She gave him a look. 

Scott frowned. “Do you think I'm some kind of idiot? I would never bring up that part of my life when I have my daughter around.”

“Fine.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Are you inviting because you want to or because you feel obliged to?”

“Obliged to,” she answered honestly. “And somehow, my mother still likes you. She made dinner and wanted you to stay.”

He nodded. "I'll leave after and pick up Rosie around 8, okay?"

“Okay.”

“Congratulations. I'm glad Rosie has a sister.”

She nodded, though she didn’t look sincere. “Thank you.”

Dinner was quiet, making Scott feel even more awkward. Barbara kept giving him dirty looks. He had a feeling she didn't like him. He felt even more awkward when he stepped outside to smoke, only to find Laurie outside, staring at the evening sky. The last time he had been alone with Laurie was that conversation they'd had right after Scott got out of rehab. They were outside right now too. How ironic.

“Sorry, didn't know you were out here,” Scott muttered when he saw him.

Laurie shrugged. 

“You mind if I smoke?”

“No.”

Scott opened the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and put one in his mouth.

“Were you nervous when Rosie was born?”

He stopped trying to light his cigarette and turned to Laurie. “If you're not nervous about your first kid, then you're not human.”

Laurie smiled grimly. “I guess.”

“You okay?”

“I never had a father figure in my life. My dad died when I was a baby, and we're estranged from my extended relatives. I never had someone to look up to. I learned a lot of stuff that a father would normally teach from my friends and coaches.”

Scott put his lighter back in his pocket and dragged his cigarette out of his mouth, coughing slightly. “So you're scared that you'll be a bad father because you never had one?”

He nodded. 

“Well, Ronnie had a pretty shitty dad, and he's not a shitty father.”

Laurie cocked his head and sighed. “Ronnie's good at adapting. He's always been more practical than I am, even when we were kids. I kinda got the feeling he was jealous of me when we were younger, but honestly? I was jealous of him.”

“Why?”

“He was better than in sports, bolder, taller, could have easily been extremely popular, but he didn't care about popularity. Not like I did. It's dumb, thinking about stuff from almost ten years ago, but I dunno,” he muttered, shrugging.

“Well, you're not an alcoholic.”

Laurie bit back a laugh. “Is he really one?”

Scott nodded. “But hey, you're gonna be an amazing father. I couldn't have picked a more perfect stepfather for Rosie if I tried.”

The brunette looked at Scott. “You're really not the terrible person Beth thinks you are.”

He shrugged, breathing out smoke. “That's what I keep telling everyone.”

Laurie smirked. 

Scott called Ronnie when he got back to his hotel. It was later, but he knew that he'd be up. Ronnie was always up. “Hey, man.”

“Oh, you in Houston?”

“Yeah.”

“How's Beth?”

“A baby girl named Laura Anne.”

“Laurie must be in over his head.”

Scott chuckled. “Yeah. I'm flying back to NY with Rosie in the morning. Wanna have dinner at my place the day after?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I think Jennifer likes your apartment more than she likes our house.”

He smiled. He and Jennifer had become closer since he admitted the truth about Ronnie. He talked to her on the phone quite often. Mostly about Ronnie. Scott hadn't told anyone, but he was just as glad when she or Ronnie answered the phone.

“Tell her I said hi.”

Ronnie yawned into the phone. “Sure.”

Scott looked at his feet. “Ronnie.”

“What?”

“Don't tell Jennifer I told you this.”

“...What?” He repeated, sounding more apprehensive.

“Jennifer knows about us.”

The line went silent for a full minute. “How?” Ronnie finally asked. His voice was shaky.

“She asked me. I told her the truth.”

Another full minute of silence. He could hear Ronnie sigh loudly. “Jesus Christ, Scott.” 

“I'm sorry,” Scott replied, unsure of what else to say. It was better that Ronnie found out from him. That way, he could at least prepare something to say.

Notes:

scott: hey uh your girl knows we're fucking cuz i told her

ronnie: wut

For Context

Aingeal --> Angel in Irish

Chapter 100: The Fabulous Unending Party of Disco, Lust, and Miseries (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

Scott has his album photoshoot and after, takes Ronnie and Jennifer out on the town. Meanwhile, Ronnie realizes something that changes his worldview.

CW: BRIEF discussion of past torture, usage of queer in og slur context, sexual references, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, explicit sex (this is a fun one)

Happy Lunar New Year to everyone who celebrates!

Notes:

CHAPTER 100 20 MORE TO GO... also I finished Animals on Monday! when it's all edited and beta read, I might start doing twice a week updates again, but we'll have to see.

this is the longest chapter in the whole story, almost 8,000 words

it's also my favorite chapter >:) ...and the horniest

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 100: The Fabulous Unending Party of Disco, Lust, and Miseries 

 

Friday, October 7th, 1977, Bayside, Queens, New York

 

 

“Benjamin's on the bus,” Jennifer announced, stepping back inside the house and closing the front door.

Ronnie looked up from his breakfast. “Okay. When do we have to be there?”

“At 9:30.”

“Oh, I thought it was earlier.”

She smirked. “I just wanted you to be ready on time.”

Ronnie scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

Today was the photoshoot for Scott's album, the one he'd asked Jennifer to be on. Ronne had no idea what was in store for them, but he could tell how excited Jennifer was. He wondered when Scott had asked her, had it been before he told her the truth or after?

Jennifer acted like she didn't know anything, but at least he knew now why she gave him some of those looks. How could he explain it to her? He loved her and wanted to marry her. And yet, he didn't want to let go of Scott. They were both people Ronnie wanted—no, needed in his life. Fuck, he felt the same about both. He loved Jennifer, and he loved-

Ronnie set his fork down. That was a new thought. He loved... Scott? Oh god, he did. He was in love with Scott. Oh fuck. How the fuck could he be in love with two people at the same time? How the-

“Ronnie? You okay? You look like you just swallowed a box of knives.”

He looked up and gulped. “...Uh, I'm fine.”

Jennifer pursed her lips, concerned. “You know you can talk to me.”

They made eye contact. She looked beautiful, wearing an off-white turtleneck, denim bell-bottoms, and brown leather boots. Her long black hair in a low ponytail. Gold hoop earrings. The tightness of the sweater around her cleavage. 

“You should sit down,” he finally decided, sighing loudly.

She sat down in the chair next to him. Her face was expressionless. 

Ronnie gulped again. “I should have told you when we first started fucking again. But I didn't. Mostly cause I was afraid that you would be disgusted with me. That you would think my feelings for you aren't real. And I know I should have said something when I proposed, but I was scared you'd leave because I kept something this big from you or that you'd be horrified.”

“Ronnie, I love you. That means I even love all the little fucked up things about you because you wouldn't be yourself without them.”

Was this her way of approving his relationship with Scott or something? Maybe he should just be honest about that one too. No. Not yet. He wasn't planning to drop two truth bombs in one sitting—even if she already knew. 

“I... am bisexual. I’ve been with a lot of women in the last three years, and... I’ve been with a lot of men. I-uh started sleeping with men in 1973, but I didn't consider myself a queer until 1975. Afterward, I just went on sex benders. To feel something, I guess. Half of the time, I did it just to see if I could. Seduce the girl. A quickie in a gay bar.” He swallowed. “This is where I also add that I'm a sex addict... well, used to be. It's gotten a lot better. The sex we have... it's not meaningless. It's wonderful. I love having sex with you.”

Jennifer stared at him before swallowing. She reached out and took both of his clammy hands, squeezing them tightly. “I do wish you had said something earlier.”

He nodded, looking away from her.

“But I want you to know that I'll always support you. More importantly, I want you to trust me.”

He looked up. “I do trust you.”

She smiled sadly. “You don’t.”

Ronnie stared into her dark hazel eyes, black with flecks of brown and green. “I do,” he repeated, this time quieter.

“We have to have forced personal conversations because you don't open up. You don't open up to anybody. I used to think it was because of your father and the way he treated you, but it's so much worse than it used to be. You don't trust people.”

She was right. He’d never put pen to paper, but she was right. It wasn't a matter of being unable to talk. It was because he didn't trust people. A part of him wondered how thick-skulled he was to not figure that out until she'd pointed it out.

“I want to,” he finally admitted. “I never realized it was because I couldn't trust people. I don't know why I can't.”

“What was your job in Vietnam?”

“Transmitting and translating messages.”

“So you knew things a lowly soldier shouldn't have?”

“Yes.”

“...Were you tortured when you were a prisoner of war?”

Ronnie stared at her. 

Jennifer bit her lip, her eyes a look of pity and horror. “I'll take that as yes,” she finally whispered. “You caved, didn't you?”

He could feel his throat close up. “I-I tried not to, but... it was so hard, Jennifer. It was so hard.”

She reached out and touched the left side of his face. He involuntarily leaned into her hand and closed his eyes. 

“I think some part, deep inside of you refuses to talk because you still think you will get hurt if you do talk, or that you’re betraying something. You trusted or were trusted with something, and you failed, and I think you still have guilt. Doesn't help that you're the most stubborn mother fucker I know.”

He opened his eyes. “That makes no sense.”

“Our brains are weird. Psychological conditioning. It's the same reason I assume why you don’t like to swim anymore.”

At that, he chuckled. “God, you’re too smart for me.”

Jennifer leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. “It’s a slow process, but we have to work at it together, okay?”

He took her hands and wrapped them around his. There were so many emotions running through his head that he felt dizzy. “Okay.”

She smiled and stood up. “Scott promised a fun-filled day. I think we should enjoy ourselves.”

“Yeah.” He glanced at the stack of wedding invitations sitting in the center of the table. “We also need to drop those off at the post office.”

She nodded and picked one up. “You have been invited to the wedding of Jennifer Myra Parker and Ronald “Ronnie” Patrick McKittrick Jr. on the seventh of January, 1978, 11:30 at Yorkcastle Hotel, New York, New York.” She looked up. “It sounds so fancy.”

“We’re con artists.”

She smirked. 

A car's horn honked outside loudly, startling both of them. Jennifer looked out through the window. 

“There’s Scott,” she muttered. “Shit, that’s a nice car.”

Ronnie glanced up. “Should we be surprised?”

“Sometimes I feel like I'm using Scott for his money.”

“That fucker loves spending money on people. He's all too happy to have a friend who doesn't mind being showered with gifts.”

She grabbed her purse. “I love presents, sue me. What's your problem with it?”

“Money.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “I have never understood why you hate borrowing and being given free money. You don't always have to pay it back.”

“I’ve never had the luxury of spending money on useless little things. I didn't grow up well off like you or Scott did.”

She pursed her lips. If there was one thing Jennifer didn't like talking about, it was her family's wealth, considering nearly half of her tribe was at or below the poverty line. Jack Parker wasn't just one of the wealthiest men in their tribe, he was the wealthiest man in their tribe. It had been one of the reasons why she'd been able to go to college, especially somewhere as far away as Maryland. He knew she felt guilty about being so privileged compared to so many like her. 

Ronnie looked down after a moment. “Sorry.”

She shook her head. “No, you’re right.”

He stood up and walked over to grab his wallet, house keys, lighter, and a pack of his cigarettes, stuffing them into his pockets. “C’mon, I’d rather not hear Scott complain about waiting.”

Scott wore an equally amused and annoyed look on his face as Ronnie opened the car door. Ronnie bit back a snide remark. 

The back of the car had four large black seats facing each other, two on each side. Ronnie had never seen a car like that before. He sat in the seat next to Scott while Jennifer sat in the seat across from him.

“It’s like a mini limo,” she mused, buckling up. She glanced at the blond man. “I’ve never been in a limo before.”

“Well, we can fix that later.”

The car took off, which perplexed Ronnie because he hadn't seen a driver in the front. God, Scott had a fucking driver. Spoiled fuck. A spoiled fuck he had feelings for. 

God, shut up about that, his brain told him. Ronnie agreed with himself for once. He didn't need to dwell on that now. It'd just make things more complicated. He had just fucking come out to Jennifer, and she'd barely batted an eyelash. 

Ronnie looked at his lap. She hadn't been surprised. Well, she had already known about Scott, courtesy of Scott, but the way she'd looked at him... almost like she'd known for a while. That confirmed it was a dude that they'd had a threesome with at Woodstock. He wondered how far they went. 

Never mind that, he thought to himself. You have more important things to worry about. Like having not seen your dead wife's hallucination since August. Since she started talking. Since she touched y-

“Earth to Ronnie,” Scott's voice rang out.

He looked up. “What?”

“What's so interesting about your crotch?”

Ronnie flicked his arm. “Fuck off.”

He glanced at Jennifer. “What's got him all riled up?”

She shrugged. “Ask him that.”

He turned back and cocked a brow. 

“I didn't sleep well last night.”

“You never sleep well.”

Ronnie leaned back into his seat. “Fair.” He'd run out of his sleeping pills two weeks ago, and Jennifer was refusing to let him get a refill or buy it from a drug dealer. He’d told her it wouldn't be the first time he'd bought drugs from a dealer. This resulted in an argument about doing and buying drugs with Benjamin around. He didn't like arguing with her, so their fights usually ended with Ronnie leaving or letting Jennifer have the last word. There was always angry sex to get through frustrations. 

The photoshoot took place at a studio located at the top of some skyscraper Ronnie had only seen when he walked past it. There was a large white backdrop, and in the center of the drop, a red velvet laying couch. Scott's manager Darlene was already there, talking to a man in his late 30s with dark brown hair and peach-colored skin. In his hand was a large expensive-looking camera. 

“That’s James Wedge,” Scott explained. “We met a few years ago when I was on the cover of British Vogue.

Jennifer's eyes widened. “Holy shit.”

“I don’t know who that is.”

Jennifer glanced at him. “Famous photographer. Biba Nude?”

He shook his head.

“Oh, whatever.” Jennifer turned back to Scott. “You never told me what exactly we'll be doing on your cover.”

“Well, I was thinking you lay on that lovely couch over there all regal and shit, and I'll like stand behind you.”

“I like this idea.” She glanced at the couch and back to Scott. “What am I wearing? Because I'm not doing nudity. I don't think Ronnie would appreciate that.”

Frankly, Ronnie was thinking that it'd be hot, but he didn't say that out loud. “Yeah. I love your tits.”

Jennifer smacked his arm, looking around to see if anyone heard him. “Shut up,” she hissed. 

“No, no nudity.”

“Oh good. I’d lose my job anyway.”

The actual costume Jennifer wore made her look like a goddess. She wore a gold halo crown with red gems adorned on each point. There were ankle bracelets around her feet, and her wrists were drowned with gold bangles. She still wore her engagement ring, which made Ronnie feel nice, but it was dwarfed by all the other rings on her hands, also gold with red gems. 

Her long black hair, which reached to her lower back, was brushed out and set across the left part of her body, flowing like a stream of black water. She wore a large chunky necklace along with a gold choker right above it. Stark against the gold and red, white chiffon wrapped around her upper thighs, stomach, and chest, ornamented with a gold belt. The white dress hung snugly just below her shoulders and ended at the beginnings of her lower thighs, exposing the long copper legs that Ronnie loved. 

She looked so beautiful with black kohl around her eyes and dark red lipstick... if Ronnie had been alive two thousand years ago and saw her, he would have gotten on his knees and worshiped her as a goddess. 

Scott wore the opposite of what Jennifer was wearing, meaning nothing. He only wore his boxers, but by the way he was standing in front of the camera right behind her, it looked as if he was nude. He also had kohl around his eyes, but it was smudged. Ronnie guessed it was for dramatic effect. Not to mention his chest and arms were oiled up.

In other words, Ronnie was pretty sure he'd eventually pop a boner if he stared at either of them too long. 

“Your fiancée is very pretty,” Darlene muttered to Ronnie as they watched James take pictures and tell them what poses he wanted them to try. 

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Most men I know would never be okay with letting their girlfriend do this. Especially with a guy like Scott.”

“Well, I don't need to worry about Scott when it comes to that.”

Darlene smirked and crossed her arms. “True. Why’d you come to this? I never go with my husband when he does this kind of stuff.”

Free jerk off material, Ronnie thought honestly. 

“I'm sorry?”

Ronnie's eyes widened. “I just said that out loud, didn't I?”

“Yes, you did.”

He gulped. 

“Are you sleeping with him?”

He didn’t see any point to deny it, so he nodded. 

“How long?”

“Let's just say we were each other’s sexual awakening.”

“Does your fiancée know?”

“Uh... she knows because Scott told her, but then Scott told me that she knows, but she doesn't know that I know she knows.”

Darlene's face scrounged up in confusion. “Interesting love triangle you got goin’ there.”

“Yeah.” Ronnie pulled a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. He'd just come out to his fucking fiancée, and there he was, talking to a woman he barely knew about it.

The photoshoot finished around 12, so Scott offered to take them out to lunch after. It was a nice cafe and fairly cheap, so Ronnie didn't feel that bad about having Scott pay for everything. Scott had strategically positioned himself to be sitting in the back of the cafe, facing away from the entrance so people would be less likely to see him. 

“Thanks for doing this,” Scott told Jennifer, taking a sip of his beer.

Jennifer shrugged. “Of course. It was cool, and I looked hot.”

Ronnie nodded in agreement.

“Well, I only think it's fair I buy you something because I didn't pay you anything.”

“Really?”

He nodded. 

She glanced at Ronnie. “Buy me what?”

“I don't know, whatever you want. I like buying clothes. Beth hated anything I liked to wear, so I rarely bought her stuff. I bought her a dress once, and she got mad at me because it apparently showed too much chest.”

“That's rude.”

“Yeah. Plus it was really fucking expensive.” He swallowed. “Anyway, let's say I paid you about 600 for this shoot.”

“That's a lot,” Ronnie muttered.

“Well, Jennifer here is probably a supermodel in another universe. So, with a budget of 600, I'll buy you whatever you want. All the big shops are just a block or two away.”

If they were in a cartoon, Ronnie was sure Jennifer's eyes would be dollar bill signs. Her eyes widened.

“Just 600 for a rich guy like you, Scott?” She asked innocently, batting her eyelashes.

He laughed and glanced at both of them. “You guys wanna go clubbing tonight?”

Ronnie downed the last of his beer. “What about Benjamin?”

“My housekeeper is great with kids.” There was a wicked gleam in his eyes. “I know a great place we can go to.”

Ronnie normally would have said no, but Jennifer was right. Today was supposed to be fun, and maybe for once, he should stop caring about money and let Scott blow his on them. 

Scott bought Jennifer a dark brown mink coat, a low-cut red evening gown with slits on the sides, a white silk scarf, and a pair of white strappy heels. He'd wanted to buy something for Ronnie, but before Ronnie could refuse, Jennifer pointed out that they had to leave to pick up Benjamin from school.

It was an interesting sight. Ronnie and Scott were in long wool coats while Jennifer wore her new fur coat as they stood outside the elementary school, waiting for Benjamin to come out. All three wore sunglasses, though it wasn't very sunny. 

“You guys look really cool,” Benjamin announced as he saw them and ran over.

Ronnie ruffled his son's hair. “Thanks.”

Benjamin beamed.

From the school, Scott had his driver take them to his apartment. Scott had added more to his fledgling art collection since the last time Ronnie had been over. In the dining room, there was a painting of a stone well with pink and lavender flowers and white doves around it.

“Oh, that's gorgeous,” Jennifer mused when her eye caught it.

Le Printemps by Eugéne Bidau. The old owner gave me a pretty good deal.”

“I find it very amusing that you of all people collect fine art.”

He shrugged as a petite Japanese woman came out from a hallway. 

“Oh, hello.”

“Hi, Mandy.” He gestured to his guests. “I believe you've met Ronnie. This is his fiancée Jennifer Parker and his oldest son Benjamin. Jennifer, this is my housekeeper Mandy Yamada.”

She smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

Jennifer shook her hand. “You too.”

Mandy poured them wine as Benjamin stared at the view from the living room.

“You can see everything!”

“Yeah, it's a pretty nice view,” Scott remarked, setting his wine glass down. “I gotta run to the bathroom. Be right back.”

Ronnie glanced at Jennifer. “He spent way over 600 because I know that fur coat alone was 400. Why'd you let him?”

“It’s like payback for my people, letting a white man buy me shit.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Jennifer's eyes twinkled. “I’m kidding. Partially.” She shrugged. “Scott's the kind of person who shows his love in gifts. Who am I to not indulge, especially since he’s single.”

He frowned. Was he rejecting Scott's affections because he disliked being showered with gifts for no reason? Or maybe Scott had turned his attention to Jennifer because she let him. If Ronnie hadn't known that Scott was only attracted to men, he would have teased him about having a crush on Jennifer. Then again, he was the one who'd only recently come to the conclusion that he harbored strong feelings for both. And he had no idea what to do about it. 

Scott came back out of his room and glanced at his housekeeper. “When will dinner be ready?”

“In about an hour.”

“We'll eat, get ready to go, and then we'll take a taxi there.”

“What about your super fancy driver?”

“He's only available from 8-5.”

“Hmm.”

“What about a change of clothes for Benjamin?”

Jennifer pointed at her purse. “Ever since he threw up on his clothes when we were on our way to the doctor, I've kept an extra set of clothes for him on me. They're not pajamas, but they should be comfortable enough to sleep in.”

Ronnie sighed. “What would we do without you?”

“Crash and burn, baby.”

Benjamin looked up. “Are we having a sleepover here?”

“Looks like it,” Scott answered. “You can pick the room you want to sleep in. Except for Rosie’s bedroom.”

Benjamin's eyes lit up. “Can I sleep in yours?”

Scott put his hands on his hips. “Where am I gonna sleep then?”

“Good point. I want the second biggest room. Mommy and Daddy can sleep in the smallest room.”

Jennifer laughed. 

Staying at Scott's with Jennifer? Ronnie didn't know how to feel about that. He smiled and nodded anyway, not making any direct eye contact. He had to be dreaming. First, Nguyệt had seemingly gone away. Second, Jennifer was supportive of his sexuality and seemed to not care that he was sleeping with Scott. Third, what was Scott getting out of this? He couldn’t be with him when Jennifer was right there. Why did he torture himself?

After dinner, when they were alone in Scott's closet (of course it was his closet), Ronnie decided to ask him.

“Why are you doing this?”

Scott glanced at him as he took off his shirt. “Doing what?”

“Are you... doing all this stuff for Jennifer because of me?”

“What do you mean?” He muttered, pulling off his slacks.

“If I didn't know you better, I'd say you have a little crush on her.”

He laughed without humor and stared, only in his socks and underwear. “Are you jealous?”

“No.”

“Ya sure?”

“Yes, I'm fucking sure.”

“Do you have a problem with me being friends with her?” He took a step forward, ignoring the fact he was mostly naked. “You know, Beth hated it when I brought my female friends over or even talked about them. Got to the point where I couldn't even have female friends.”

Ronnie sneered. “Are you comparing me to my sister?”

“You two are more alike than you two know.”

“I'm not my fucking sister.”

Scott shrugged. 

Ronnie had an urge to tackle Scott to show him just how much he wasn't his sister, but he caught the look in Scott's eye. He was trying to egg him on. His shoulders relaxed.

“Why are you trying to make me upset?”

“You talk more when you're pissed off,” he admitted, grabbing a light grey suit from a hanger. 

“You're a dick.”

Scott smiled. “I know. You are too.” He pointed to the suit jacket and pants in his arms. “You wanna wear this tonight? It's a bit long for me, so it should fit you perfectly.”

Ronnie eyed the suit. It looked expensive. “Is it expensive?”

“It's Armani.”

He pursed his lips. Even he knew Armani. “I don't know, man.”

Scott shoved it into his arms. “It's for one night. It's not like I'm giving it to you. I'll find one of my spandex outfits if you don't.”

Ronnie shuddered. “Please don't.”

He laughed.

It was a nice suit. It fit him perfectly. The only problem was that it made him look too much like his boss. His working-class roots were screaming internally. The rather loud shirt he wore helped. A light green button-up patterned with grey and cream flowers. Well, Ronnie wasn't sure what they were, but they looked like flowers. 

He came out of the master bedroom to see Jennifer wearing her brand new dress, matched with her new white shoes and scarf. She had brushed her long hair and reapplied the brown lipstick she'd been wearing before the photoshoot. In her arms were her purse and mink coat.

“You look like Cher if Cher was sexier and hotter,” he mused, walking over and wrapping his arms around her waist. The scent of rose water filled his nose.

Jennifer smiled. “You think I'm prettier than Cher?”

“I think you're the hottest woman on the planet.”

“Really now?” She whispered huskily, kissing his neck.

He kissed her temple. “Whole solar system, actually.”

“What about the galaxy?”

“Well, there may be this alien out there who looks exactly like you except she has three boobs.”

She laughed. “Well, what about when you're fucking Miss Three Tits? One in your mouth, another in your hand. What about the third one?”

“You raise a good point. I guess the order would be hand-mouth-hand. But they might not be as soft and big as yours, considering it's three on the alien's chest,” he muttered, wrapping his hands around her breasts and squeezing. 

“Ew,” Scott announced.

The couple broke apart, Jennifer smirking. Scott stared at them, arms crossed. He wore flared brown corduroy pants, a beige paisley shirt with orange, brown, red, and sea green patterns, and a pair of cherry red boots whose style Ronnie hadn't seen before. 

“Interesting boots.”

“Thanks. They're Doc Martens. Popular among the punks of London.” He eyed Jennifer. “Nice to see my money is being put to good use.”

“Other than cocaine,” Ronnie muttered under his breath.

“I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that,” he replied as Mandy came out with Benjamin, wrapped in a towel. 

“Are you leaving?”

Scott nodded. “We should be back before 1 at the latest. I will pay you for overtime, I promise.”

“Why can't I come?” Benjamin asked.

“Because little boys need to go to bed,” Ronnie responded, grabbing his wallet on the counter.

Benjamin frowned. “Bye-bye,” he mumbled dejectedly. 

Jennifer bit back a snicker. 

“We're going to Studio 54, aren't we,” Jennifer then remarked while they were waiting for a taxi.

“Shh, it was a surprise.”

“Makes sense why we all look nice.” She glanced at Ronnie. “I've been wanting to go there a while, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to do that.”

“Well, luckily for you, I only dance when I'm extremely drunk or high, which is what I plan to do tonight.”

There were people swarming outside the nightclub. It was a chilly October night, but people didn't seem to care. It reminded Ronnie of the conversation he'd had with Lola when they first met. How he didn't like disco. His opinion had changed in the last five years. Then again, disco music was much more fun than it was in 1972. 

“Fuck, we're gonna be waiting forever,” Jennifer groaned as they stepped out of the taxi.

“Never fear, I have this secret trick that will let us in immediately.”

“What's that?” Ronnie asked, stepping closer to Jennifer.

He grinned. “Celebrity privilege.”

The couple followed the blond man through the crowd and to a man by the entrance of the club, wearing a satin jacket. Ronnie could hear people yelling Scott's name as they recognized him. Sometimes he forgot just how famous his friend was. 

“Hi, Steve,” Scott greeted.

The man, Steve, looked at him. “Scott. I thought you were a Sundays person.”

He gestured to Ronnie and Jennifer. “I have some friends with me. First time.”

Steve eyed both of them before opening the rope. “Have fun. And don't worry, I would have let them in even if they weren't with you.”

“Is that a compliment?” Ronnie muttered as they took off their coats and stepped inside the nightclub.

“Who was that?”

“Steve Rubell. Co-owner of the club. Decides who's let in.”

“Based on what?”

“Fashion sense, celebrity appeal, attractiveness, etc.”

“Selective.”

He shrugged. “That's what makes it fun.”

If Ronnie thought the outside of the club was chaotic, the inside must have been an entrance to hell. With flashy lights, loud music, and glitter. 

“Oh my god,” Jennifer muttered, staring at the crowded dance floor and balcony. 

“Give me your coats, I know where to put them. I'll meet you by the bar.”

Ronnie glanced at Jennifer. “I'm gonna need more than alcohol if you want me to dance.”

“Someone here is bound to have drugs.”

“The one reliable thing about New York City. There's always drugs around the corner,” he said into her ear so she could hear him over the music. 

She giggled as they made their way over to the bar.

“Three whiskey shots,” Ronnie told the bartender.

“Have a tab?”

He glanced at Jennifer.

“Put it on Scott Stern.”

Ronnie bit back a laugh. 

“What about me?” Scott asked, appearing behind them.

“Bar tab.”

“Oh yeah, that's fine,” he answered as the bartender set down three shot glasses. 

“Whiskey or bourbon?”

“Whiskey,” Ronnie answered, picking up his shot glass.

Scott and Jennifer did the same. 

She raised her glass. “To The Queen of Sheba.”

They clinked their glasses together. “And the money I hope to make from it.”

Ronnie rolled his eyes and downed the whiskey, slamming the glass on the bar. His face puckered from the taste, and he blinked hard. 

Jennifer's face soured as she set the glass down carefully. “That was strong.”

Scott chuckled. “C’mon, let’s go up.”

They followed him to the packed balcony. Behind the balcony and people, were black leather couches, covered in booze and fancy clothes. 

Scott found an empty couch and plopped on it. “We might see people I know, so don’t mind if I get caught up talking.”

“You mean your celebrity friends?”

“Yup.”

Jennifer looked impressed. 

Ronnie shrugged and looked around the balcony. There were people everywhere, milling around, dancing, talking, or somewhere between second and third base. When he turned back, he saw Scott pulling out a baggie of white powder and setting it on the table in front of them. 

Jennifer stared at it. “Is that cocaine?”

He nodded as he emptied the bag and started making lines with his driver's license. A young man wearing just gym shorts walked past. “That's a busboy. Can you call him over?”

“Hey!” Ronnie hollered. 

The guy turned around and looked at them. “Yeah?”

“Can we get a round of whiskey shots, a tequila sunrise…” Scott glanced at Jennifer.

“A margarita.”

“Blue Hawaiian and a Screwdriver. Tab’s on Scott Stern.”

The busboy nodded and walked away.

“Two cocktails?” Jennifer raised her eyebrows.

“I said I was getting drunk tonight.”

“How good are you with alcohol, Jennifer?” Scott asked when he finished making lines. 

“Shit. You Europeans have over two millennia of drinking. Alcohol wasn’t introduced to us until the 1600s. Hence why almost everyone's tolerance is awful.”

“Is that why a lotta Natives are alcoholics?”

“That’s a stereotype, but yeah,” she muttered defensively, frowning. 

“It’s okay, your kids will have Ronnie's inhuman abilities to drink more than that is possible for a human being and not get alcohol poisoning.”

“It’s a talent,” Ronnie joked.

Scott pointed to the cocaine. There were about nine short lines. Three for each. “Equal for everyone, just as Karl Marx intended.”

Jennifer snorted and shook her head. “Says the multi-millionaire.”

Scott winked. 

“Have you done coke, Jen?”

She answered his question by holding her hair back, bending over, and snorting a line. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

She sat back up and coughed, sniffing loudly. “I did a lot of stuff in college.”

Ronnie scowled. “Oh, and you got mad at me because I wanted to buy benzos from a dealer.”

“See, the big difference is that there's no kids around. I've seen you pop pills with alcohol right in front of Benjamin.”

“Even I make a point to not drink excessively or do drugs when Rosie's around.”

“Oh whatever,” Ronnie muttered, holding his left nostril and bending over to snort the coke. 

When the cocaine was gone, and they had finished their drinks, Jennifer insisted that they all dance. Ronnie was intoxicated enough to say yes. He downed the last of his Screwdriver, and they left the couch and went back onto the dance floor, dance music blaring as they became engulfed by the swarming crowd. 

It smelled like sweat, alcohol, rubber, and various perfumes and colognes. It was loud, and there was a sexual energy in the air. It was intoxicating, and if Ronnie had been sober, he would have merely watched from the side. But Ronnie was not sober. 

Two shots of whiskey, three lines of cocaine, a Blue Hawaiian, and a Screwdriver, Ronnie told himself. Maybe there was a person around with club drugs or something. He just wanted to get wasted. Then his brain would stop thinking for three seconds. He could ignore the way Scott looked at him when he wasn't sober. The pitiful glances Jennifer gave him when she thought he wasn't looking. How much Benjamin looked like his mother. The fact his second son was technically a bastard. How he couldn't sleep alone anymore. 

An arm wrapped around his waist. He looked over to see. Scott. Oh yeah, he was definitely tipsy.

“There's a guy over there with some ludes. Want some?” He asked into his ear. His Texan accent had gotten thicker.

Ronnie glanced at Jennifer, who had already made her way to the dance floor. “Yes.”

He walked away as Jennifer made eye contact with him. She smiled and beckoned him over.

Fuck it, he thought. We'll be dancing at our wedding anyway

She looked so sensual as she swayed her hips, running her hands through her hair. He joined her, pulling her close, legs between legs. Together they swayed to the beating music of disco, and Ronnie forgot he didn't like to dance. He forgot there were dozens of people surrounding them. All that mattered was her. There was someone else too, but he was too absorbed in the music to remember.

An image popped into his head. Jennifer, naked, legs spread, nails scraping against his back. But it wasn't his back. The man’s hair was blond, and he had a dragon tattoo on his hip. He kissed her harshly, wrapping his naked legs around hers. Scott. Her copper body against his tanned, covered in sweat. Both of them were crying out in lust and ecstasy. 

Wait, the small part of his head that still had some rational thought left interrupted. Scott’s gay. He’d never fuck her.

My fantasy, Ronnie replied. Oh god, my seriously hot fantasy.

“What?” she whispered, licking his neck. “Your eyes look so far away right now.”

“Scott’s getting some ludes,” he replied, the image of her legs wrapped around Scott’s waist still in his head. 

“Is he? I wanna dance with both of you.” She didn't care that he was buying drugs. In fact, she looked like she wanted some. This wasn't Jennifer he knew. Then again, the Jennifer he knew wouldn't snort three lines of cocaine and let him take a shot from her tits. He liked this version of his girlfriend. She was more relaxed. Less careful. 

“Me too.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

Her eyes twinkled. “I know.”

Scott came back with six white pills in hand. 

“Let's get another round of shots, so we have something to down it with,” Ronnie muttered. 

So they did. Scott and Ronnie did their shots through each other's arms, staring intensely as they downed the pills and whiskey. 

Jennifer danced with Ronnie. She danced with Scott. He watched them dance. He had gotten to the point where he slurred toward the ends of his sentences. His heart rate had slowed because of the drugs. Amid the chaos, Ronnie had never been more at peace. Probably cause of the drugs and alcohol. He didn't care. 

He could tell Jennifer and Scott likely felt the same way. 

It felt like days had passed before they left the club, though through his blurry eyes, his watch told him it'd only been four hours. 

“Taxi!” Jennifer squealed, wrapping herself in her coat. 

A taxi seemed to appear on command. 

The three got in, giggling as Scott told the driver his address.

“Aren't you Scott Stern?”

Scott pushed his hair back. “Uhh... good question.” He turned to Ronnie, snickering. “Am I Scott Stern?”

“I think so.”

He turned back to the driver. “Yeah.”

The driver gave them a look in the rearview mirror before driving off. 

Ronnie was practically carrying Jennifer when they got into the elevator, not because she couldn’t walk because she was so drunk, but because her feet were hurting after a few hours of dancing. 

Mandy was sitting in the living room, reading a book. She stood when they got out of the elevator, eyeing them carefully. She could tell they were drunk and high as shit. 

“Take the whole weekend off as a token of my thanks,” Scott told her, struggling to open his wallet so he could pay her.

“Are you sure?" She asked, eyeing Jennifer as she took off her heels.

“Yep.”

When Scott had given her overtime money, she grabbed her purse and left, but not before she told them to watch how much they were drinking. After she left, Scott waltzed over to his liquor cabinet, grabbing a bottle of champagne, three lute glasses, and a bottle of a green liquid Ronnie didn’t recognize.

“What the fuck is that?” Ronnie asked.

“Is that absinthe?” Jennifer asked, plopping herself next to Ronnie.

“Maybe.”

“What is that?”

“It’s illegal. How did you get that?”

Scott shrugged, opening the champagne bottle, and spilling bubbles over all his wrists. “France. Plus, being rich helps when you’re bribing customs.”

“Okay, cool, but what is it?” Ronnie questioned, staring at it. It was green. Why the fuck was it green?

“It’s an anise-flavored spirit. Got banned because it apparently was too addictive and caused people to have visions,” Jennifer explained, running a hand through her hair.

“I want to try it.”

Jennifer stood up. “Are you making Death in the Afternoons?”

Scott nodded as he poured absinthe into each glass.

She looked delighted. “You know what that is?”

“I may not be an English teacher, but I know my Hemmingway.”

Ronnie was lost.

“It’s a cocktail invented by Hemmingway. Champagne and absinthe,” she explained, leaning on Scott as he poured the champagne, giving the drinks a milky look with bubbles. He handed two to Jennifer, who gave one to Ronnie. 

He stood back up to grab the drink.

“You’re supposed to drink it slowly,” she said into Ronnie's ear.

He looked at the drink and took a sip. His eyes widened. That was a taste. “Shit, that’s a fucking kick.”

Jennifer blinked a few times. “God, you’re right.” She then laughed and whispered, “Thank you, Scott.”

Scott actually blushed.

They all sat down on the couch, drinking the illegal cocktail. Jennifer laid on him, talking nonsense. Her hands traced patterns on his thigh, but her gaze never left Scott’s, who watched her. His face was flushed, and he stuttered. 

Quaaludes were supposed to make you sleepy, but Ronnie had never been more awake in his life. He’d never been more relaxed in his life. For once, he didn't seem to care about anything, only the people in front of him. 

He was horny. Jennifer was horny, and by the way Scott replied to her suggestive questions, he had no doubt he felt the same way. Maybe his little club fantasy wasn’t just a fantasy. 

“Ronnie?” Jennifer asked when she finished her drink.

“Yeah?”

“Do you like eating pussy or sucking dick more?”

Ronnie smiled drunkenly. “Pussy. I mean, I like both, but eating out pussy is on a whole nother level compared to sucking cock. Sticking your tongue into that hot and wet mess…” He sighed. “Oh yeah, way better than deep throating some guy’s dick.”

Scott frowned. “Ouch.”

“Have you sucked Scott’s cock?”

Ronnie stared at the blond. “Yes.”

She smirked slyly. “What about you, Scott? Have you sucked my fiancé’s cock?”

He let out a deep sigh. “Yes.”

She stood up slowly and then sat promptly on Scott's lap. Ronnie watched her, biting his lip. Fuck, he was gonna pop a boner. 

Jennifer crossed her legs and shifted her body, causing Scott to groan. His left hand was clutching the arm of the couch tightly.

“Scott?” She whispered, stroking his face with her pointer finger. “You’re gay, right?”

He stared at Ronnie, his cheeks a bright red. “Yeah.”

She giggled and stared right at Ronnie, her other hand grabbing Scott's crotch. “Then why do you have a boner right now?”

He gulped loudly and looked at the woman in his lap. “I don’t know,” he replied. 

He sounded honest.

Her pointer finger moved from his face to his lips. Ronnie inhaled deeply.

“Ya know,” she began, licking her lips, “after I got over the surprise about you two, I started thinking about you guys in bed with each other. Fucking naked on a bed. Standing up. With clothes on. Whatever.” She clenched her thighs. “Makes me hot and bothered all over, though I know it shouldn’t.” After a pause, she giggled. “Oh, Ronnie’s not supposed to know I know! ...But you do, don’t you?” She looked back at Scott. “You told him, didn’t you?”

He nodded, looking at his lap.

Jennifer brought her finger under Scott’s chin and tilted it upward. Scott looked away from Ronnie and into Jennifer’s dark hazel eyes. Ronnie felt his pants tighten. At last, Scott’s hand let go of the couch as Jennifer pressed her lips against his. 

It was a chaste kiss, and Jennifer pulled away after a few seconds. She started to look back at Ronnie, surprised at what she had done, but Scott grabbed her face with both of his hands and kissed her back with a not very chaste kiss. 

Ronnie sat there, spellbound. He couldn’t move or talk. He could only be the voyeur and them the watched. When they broke away again, Jennifer was panting against Scott’s face as she glanced back at Ronnie. Scott’s face was red, and his lips were partially swollen.

She reached out her right hand. Come here, her face said. 

He leaned forward, gripping his hand around Scott’s knee and shifting his body, so his face was near theirs. Jennifer’s arm snaked around his neck as she kissed his lips. Ronnie glanced at Scott, his face inches away from theirs, eyes wide and face flushed. 

When Jennifer let go of him, Ronnie watched as Scott leaned forward, their foreheads touching. His breath was hot and smelled like alcohol. Touching his cheek gently, Ronnie tilted his head and kissed his lover in front of his fiancée. He was sure he’d never been more turned on in his life. Scott made a whimpering noise against his lips as they briefly parted and kissed again. He could feel Jennifer’s hand stroking his neck, almost like she was encouraging the adulterous act. 

When they broke apart again, Ronnie turned and kissed Jennifer again. He felt Scott’s lips on his neck as Jennifer’s kissing grew harsher and more desperate. He broke away from both of them, gasping. 

They stared back.

“Not here,” he whispered.

Scott nodded and stood up, taking Jennifer’s hand and pulling her up as well. He also stood, the liquor he’d consumed making him a bit dizzy. Scott stumbled toward his bedroom, undoing the buttons on his shirt as he did. Ronnie followed suit as Jennifer yanked off the scarf around her neck and threw it on the floor. 

Ronnie kicked the door shut as Jennifer and Scott embraced each other, arms and lips entangled. He pulled off his jacket and shirt, walking behind Jennifer so he could unzip her dress, watching as she pulled off Scott’s shirt.

Jennifer shimmied out of her dress as Scott stepped away from them, undoing his belt and pants. She turned around and undid Ronnie’s belt. He leaned forward and kissed her again, feeling another body come up behind him. Scott’s erection was pressed against his pants, wet lips biting and sucking his ear lobe. He turned away from Jennifer and kissed Scott again as she pulled down his pants and underwear.

“Fuck,” he muttered against Scott, stepping away from both. He was so hard that his cock was practically on his stomach, pre-come dripping. He then sat back on Scott’s huge bed and watched the two people in front of him finish stripping. 

Jennifer sat back on Ronnie’s lap, pressing his cock against her back. They both groaned. Scott joined them, equally as hard as she crawled onto the bed, laughing.

Scott smiled and hovered next to her, his hand wrapping around one of her breasts. She gasped, staring into his eyes. Ronnie watched them as she spread her legs, and Scott slid between them with no hesitation. 

If Ronnie was slightly less drunk, he might have wondered why the hell Scott, a gay man, was looking like he was about to fuck Jennifer. He might have dwelled on what they were doing and whether or not it was a good idea. Or the way Jennifer was looking at Scott as he adjusted himself against her wet cunt. 

All could Ronnie could think about was how hot they looked and how much he wanted to fuck them both. 

Scott shoved himself forward, and Jennifer yelped, reaching out to grab Ronnie’s hand. He took it and began to watch them have sex. Jennifer’s back arched as she whimpered in what sounded like a mix of pain and pleasure. Ronnie’s hand touched her cunt, feeling Scott move in her. It was wet with fluids. That gave him an idea.

He covered his hand in her juices and shifted behind Scott, touching his ass. At that, he gasped and stopped moving, looking to see what Ronnie was doing. He spat in his hand for good measure and shoved his finger inside. Scott grunted loudly. 

Ronnie wasn’t looking for gentle sex as he then stuck another finger inside of the blond. No, he wanted rough, guttural sex from both of them. He wanted to fuck Scott and Jennifer like an animal and Scott to fuck him the same.

He’d never had anal sex with anyone without lube before. He wondered how it’d feel as he shifted his fingers and positioned himself behind Scott. He was fucking Jennifer again, slower this time, and then finally cried out when Ronnie thrust the head of his cock into Scott. He wasn’t well stretched, and it hurt to move against his internal muscles, pushing out the foreign object. He thrust again, making Scott buck forward as he did so. Jennifer gasped. 

That was what they did. Ronnie slammed his hips into Scott until he came into Jennifer. Then he pulled out, still hard, and buried himself into her, already stretched out from Scott. He remembered taking her until he came and then shifting down and licking her sweet insides until she came too. He remembered Scott grabbing his shoulder, stretching him out. He cried out into Jennifer’s breasts when Scott entered him. It was painful, and Ronnie couldn't get enough. Jennifer’s hands on both of them. Lips on lips. Legs entwined. Shouts and cries of wanton lust. He wasn’t really sure who he was kissing or touching after a while. All he could think about was their naked bodies on his.

His vision grew hazy, thrusts and kisses more sloppy until the last thing he saw was Scott passed out on Jennifer’s stomach, all of them covered in sweat, come, slick, and God knows what else. 

Notes:

😳

For Context

James Wedge --> Famous British photographer of the 70s, Biba Nude is considered his most iconic work

600 in today's money is 2,897.57

Cher --> Y'all know who that is

Studio 54 --> The club opened on April 26, 1977, by Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager, at the peak of the disco dancing and music trend and quickly became popular. The original iteration of Studio 54 was noted for its celebrity guest lists, restrictive and subjective entry policies, extravagant events, rampant club drug use, and open sexual activity. (Wiki)

Blue Hawaiian --> A Piña Colada with an added splash of blue curaçao to give it an orange flavor. It is made with light rum, blue curaçao, pineapple juice, cream of coconut, and lemon juice. It is garnished with a pineapple wedge, maraschino cherry and cocktail umbrella and served in a hurricane glass with pebble ice, or in a Collins glass. (Wiki)

Screwdriver --> Orange juice and vodka

Quaaludes --> A hypnotic sedative was sold under the brand names Quaalude and Sopor among others. Commercial production of methaqualone was halted in the mid-1980s due to widespread abuse and addictiveness. (Wiki)

Absinthe --> Banned in the USA in the 1910s, unbanned but regulated in 2008. It was normally drunk with water and sugar cubes due to the sour taste

Chapter 101: It Happened One Night... and the Consequences (Vol II, Part IV)

Summary:

The aftermath of their threesome during Laura’s baptism and Laurie and Beth’s pre-church wedding brunch

CW: Mentions of alcohol abuse, sexual content, usage of queer in og slur context, some homophobia

Notes:

last chapter of vol 2 part 4!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 101: It Happened One Night... and the Consequences 

 

Friday, November 4th, 1977, Rosenberg, Texas



Jennifer stood next to Ronnie in the church as they watched Laurie and Beth baptize their daughter Laura. It wasn't a bad idea, having your child's baptism the day before your “official” wedding. That way, everyone was already there for both events. Twice the religious ceremonies. 

Now, it wasn’t that Jennifer wasn’t religious. Sure, she believed in a higher power and had been baptized in a non-denominational church, but that was about it. The beliefs of her people had always fascinated her, as they also believed in a Supreme Being. She always thought the Christian God and the Supreme Being were one and the same. She didn’t care much for organized religion anyway, though, she always thought the tradition and rituals the Catholic Church practiced were interesting from an outsider’s perspective. But she could see why Ronnie avoided it. Mass was rather boring if you weren’t invested or devout. Not to mention its dark and rather disturbing history. Too many in her family had been forced into residential schools.

“Is this almost over?” She whispered into Ronnie's ear.

“Nope.”

She frowned, glancing to where Scott was standing, holding his passed out daughter. He looked equally bored. They made eye contact, and he smiled awkwardly before looking away.

It’d been a month since it happened—the threesome. Jennifer had woken up and had never felt so miserable in her entire life. Her body felt so used. Everything hurt. Insides and outsides—she was pretty sure now that she probably had some form of alcohol poisoning. She’d never been so cold as she fell from the bed and crawled her way to the bathroom. 

She’d managed to make it to the bathtub before puking for a good two minutes straight, not caring if puke got into her hair. When she finished, her body gave out, and she collapsed on the cold tiled floor, shaking and whimpering. 

Whether minutes or hours had passed, she heard stumbling noises coming into the bathroom. Opening her bleary eyes, she saw a pair of legs collapsing into the doorway of the toilet and throwing up. When he finished, Jennifer heard a loud groan and more shuffling noises. 

After another few minutes, she heard the shower start to run and the stumbling footsteps getting closer. He was crouching next to her, and Jennifer saw black ink on the inside of his right ankle. Rosemary. Scott. She felt his clammy and sweaty hands touch her. She flinched. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re frigid,” he muttered. His voice was ragged, and he sounded like he was in pain.

She then felt him pull her up. She wanted to protest, but there wasn’t much she could do other than whimper louder. He partially dragged/partially carried her into the shower before she felt a stream of hot water hit her back. It felt good. So good. 

The hot water had sobered her up a bit. They showered quietly, Jennifer still clutching onto Scott because she still couldn't stand up straight. He washed her hair and held on tightly, muttering something she couldn't quite hear. It sounded like an apology. 

When they got out, she grabbed a t-shirt and some grey boxers from his closet. She doubted he cared. She had then spent the rest of the morning sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of orange juice and more than a few Advils. Scott had sat next to her and only spoke when Benjamin woke up and told him he could watch TV quietly. 

It wasn't until lunch when Jennifer finally saw Ronnie. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was wet. If Scott and Ronnie had looked that miserable, she wondered how bad she looked. They sat there quietly, not making eye contact, but whether it was from shame or the hangover, she wasn't sure. Maybe both. 

They had ended up in Scott’s hot tub outside of his room, overlooking the New York skyline. Benjamin was sleeping on the couch, passing out from boredom after he figured the adults weren’t paying attention. She sat across from the two men, finally recovering from the hangover. She could see the hickeys and bruises on their chests and arms. Ronnie had one on his neck, but she wasn't too sure who gave it to him. Good thing it was October. 

Still, she hadn't spoken much more than a few words the whole day. Even when Scott suddenly grabbed Ronnie, and their kissing turned into sex, Ronnie gripping the edge of the tub, looking away from Jennifer, his whimpering and moaning suppressed. Scott, for the first time in the whole day, made direct eye contact with her. She didn't say anything and watched Scott fuck him.  

She remembered taking the sheets off of Scott's bed and falling asleep on the bare mattress, too worn out to care. When she woke up on the Sunday, she was alone, and there was a blanket around her. 

None of them had discussed it since. The only real difference was that Ronnie and Scott weren’t as secretive anymore, but she was pretty sure they hadn’t had any penetrative sex since then either. 

Jennifer couldn’t stop thinking about it, even now, in a church. She didn't remember exactly what they did to the tiniest details, but she knew she’d had sex with Ronnie and Scott. Scott was gay. He hadn’t seemed gay then. She wasn’t sure anymore. She wondered how Scott was taking it. 

The baptism had been in the morning, so Beth and her friends had made lunch to celebrate both the baptism and the upcoming nuptials. Jennifer didn't even know the godparents. This was also the first time she'd met Laura, who looked more like her father than her mother, with Laurie's brown hair and eye shape, though her eyes were brown like her mother's. Amusing how both of Beth’s daughters looked more like their fathers. 

Her mother was there too, which made Jennifer feel more at ease. She wasn't the sole Indian in the room, as her father would put it. Jack was absent, as he was dealing with the surprise labor of one of their cows, though it was November. She doubted he'd wanted to come anyway.

“I thought Bian and Isaac were invited,” she muttered, looking around the living room and kitchen. “I don't see them.”

“I think Laurie told me that they're not arriving until tonight.”

“Oh.”

He nodded toward the group of women in the dining room. “Why don't you talk to the other ladies? Both of our moms are over there.”

She scowled. “No thanks.”

“Go be social. I need to interrogate Laurie's best man.”

Jennifer had been quite surprised to learn that Ronnie wasn't the best man but rather one of Laurie's friends from work, a Ted White. Apparently, they’d been roommates in college, and both happened to be hired by the same company in Texas. Plus, both had served in the army. She thought it was kinda sad how much Laurie and Ronnie had drifted apart over the years, considering how close they’d been when they were kids. 

Sighing, she walked over to where a group of women had circulated. There were about a dozen, and Jennifer recognized most of them. 

“What are you guys talking about?” She greeted, standing between her mother and Ronnie’s cousin Líadan. 

Beth smiled. “Weddings.”

“Ronnie’s favorite dinner discussion: Do we want a buffet or not? Or better yet, can we afford it?”

Some of the women laughed. 

A brunette next to Beth nodded. Jennifer recognized her as Laura's godmother. “My husband wanted one, but he didn't help me at all with the planning, so I said no.”

“Laurie didn't help much with the planning either, but neither did Scott, so…”

“Really?” A thick Northern Irish brogue replied. Líadan's mother Moira. “I forced Liam to help me with decorations whether he wanted to or not.”

“My wedding was very bad,” Valentina mused, adjusting August in her arms. “Not enough money to even buy white dress.”

Jennifer frowned. “If it makes you feel better, I haven't been able to find a dress yet, and the wedding's in two months.”

“Why?” Georgina asked.

“I’m tall and large breasted.”

Líadan nodded. “I'll probably have the same problem when I start shopping for a dress.”

“You’re engaged?” Barbara asked.

She smiled and held out her hand. There was a silver ring with a small diamond on her ring finger. 

Moira looked proud. “His name is Tommy, and he's a conductor for the RTÉ Symphony Orchestra in Dublin.”

“That's lovely, darlin’,” Mary's sister Eileen replied. 

Líadan nodded. “Yeah. We're thinking sometime late next year or the year after for the wedding, but we’re not too sure yet.”

Moira's proud expression turned sour. “I believe ya two should get married sooner than later. Why wait?”

Líadan looked like she was trying to not roll her eyes. “Yer only sayin' that.” She leaned toward Jennifer. “She's mad because she thinks the worst sin ya can do is premarital sex.”

She bit back a laugh. 

“Well, I think it's good to wait too,” Georgina muttered. “I don't think going around having sex is very healthy.”

Jennifer gave her mother a look. 

Georgina raised her eyebrows.  “Got something you would like to say?”

She felt all eyes on her. “Well, personally, I think you should have sex with your partner before you marry. What if they're really bad at it?”

“You think sex is as important as love in a relationship?” Delilah, one of Beth's childhood friends, asked.

“Yes,” she replied honestly. 

The four older women all looked at her. 

“Hey, I'm not saying being a whore is a good thing. That can turn into addiction very quickly. Plus STDs.” I would know, she added to herself. Ronnie's one

Valentina spoke up. “No, I agree with her. But I did not get marry for love.”

“Why?” Laura’s godmother asked.

“Green card.”

Jennifer bit back another laugh.

Líadan coughed. “Okay, but to add on Jennifer, usually yer first time sucks. So wouldn't it be nice to know a thing or two before you commit yourself to someone for life? I wouldn’t want my honeymoon to be full of shite sex.”

“Líadan,” Moira hissed. 

“Exactly, my first time was awful,” she muttered before realizing she was standing very close to her mother and Mary.

They both raised their brows. 

Beth's face turned red. “Okay, enough about that.” She looked into the kitchen. “I think lunch is ready. Is anyone hungry?”

Most of the women nodded and left the circle, going into the kitchen, leaving Jennifer alone with Valentina and Líadan.

The Irish woman frowned.

“Are you okay?”

“Mam's upset at me for waiting. She was trying not to make a big deal, ya know, but I think she'll say something to Aunt Mary and Eileen at least.”

Valentina adjusted August in her arms and brushed her bangs aside. “Pregnant?”

She nodded.

Oh. No wonder Moira was so sour. 

“Not my fault condoms are illegal in Ireland.”

Jennifer's eyes widened. “Wait, really?”

“We're a Catholic country. Top black market commodity.”

“Fair.”

Valentina smiled. “How far?”

“Three months, so just shy of showing.” She glanced at Jennifer. “I’m happy about it, but me mother’s still going nuts about a child outside of wedlock like it’s the 1890s.”

“Well, my August is really bastard, so…”

Líadan nodded. “That’s why she’s trying hard not to say anything.” 

Jennifer looked at her own flat stomach. “How is it? Being pregnant?”

“I haven’t thrown up, but I get terrible headaches and a craving for crubeens. I don’t like crubeens.”

Both Valentina and Jennifer laughed. 

“That’s pig's feet?”

“Yeh.”

“Are you and Ronnie planning to have kids? I know there’s already Benjamin and Mr. August here, but-” She shrugged.

August gave her a toothy grin at the sound of his name.

“Actually, yeah. We’re kinda trying right now.”

Valentina cocked her head. “Kinda trying?”

“I’m off birth control, have been since August, but it’s not like we’ve gone to see a doctor yet. I have fertility problems.”

“How is it going?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m late, and I felt really queasy on the plane ride here, but I’ve always had really irregular periods.”

Líadan was looking at her belly now. “When was yer last irregular period?”

“1973…” she mumbled, looking down. 

She got the cue to drop it. “How late are you?”

“Almost a month... fuck,” Jennifer uttered, looking at Ronnie. He was talking to Mary. Oh shit. If she was a month late... that meant... oh god, that meant it was from the... 

“I think you take pregnancy test, Jennifer,” Valentina said, pursing her lips. “You can buy home kit now.”

Jennifer looked at her stomach. “Yeah,” she whispered. “Oh fuck.”

The other women looked confused. 

“I thought you and Ronnie were trying for a baby.”

She laughed nervously. “Oh, we are. Didn’t realize it’d be this soon.” She looked up. “Please don’t say anything.”

They both nodded. 

Jennifer turned around, walked away, and made her way to the bathroom. She locked the door and started panting loudly. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Maybe her doctor was wrong about difficulties getting pregnant. Maybe it was just a false alarm. Fuck.

There was a knock on the door after a while. “Jennifer? You okay?” Scott’s muffled voice asked. 

She didn’t know whether to sigh in relief or panic more. She opened the door, grabbed Scott by the collar of his shirt, pulled him in, and closed the door before locking it again.

Scott looked very confused as he smoothed out his collar. “What was that for?”

Jennifer took loud, deep breaths, trying to slow her breathing. It didn’t help that her heart had started beating faster when she saw him.

His eyebrows knit in concern. “What happened?”

She sat down on the toilet seat. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.”

She stared at him.

His face paled. “Oh ... uh—how late are you?”

“Almost a month.”

He walked over to the tub and sat on the edge. “Oh shit.” He started bouncing his leg. “Oh, fucking fuck.”

“I just realized it. It may be a false alarm.”

“Who do you think... the father is?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “But you fucked me first.”

Scott rubbed his face and sighed loudly. “Does Ronnie know?”

“No.” Jennifer bit her lip. “I won’t say anything until I know for sure. I don't need Ronnie panicking too.”

He nodded, glancing at her stomach. 

 

Monday, November 7th, 1977, Bayside, Queens, New York

 

Ronnie stared into the mirror as he washed his hands. Next to him, a short woman watched, her eyes like pointed daggers.

“Look at you,” she whispered. “I would have never fallen in love with you if I had known the truth. An adulterous queer.”

He closed his eyes. Nguyệt returned shortly after the threesome. He had realized how blissful those two months without her were until she appeared again. She looked so real. Her touch almost felt natural, except it was freezing. 

She only spoke to him when he was alone, so he had started making a point that there was always one other person in a room with him. He tried not to act or show he was clingy, but Jennifer had been giving him looks recently. Or maybe he was just being paranoid.

He wanted to get out of the bathroom and away from her, but the situation outside was almost worse. Scott and Jennifer were sitting at the table. It was the first time all three of them were alone together since October. Maybe they were going to finally talk about it. Maybe Jennifer knew he had feelings for Scott. If so, that was a conversation he’d rather have drunk.

Nguyệt huffed. “You are not listening to me.”

“I’m not,” he muttered, wiping his hands on his pants and leaving the bathroom. 

“Sent Benjamin to bed,” Jennifer announced when she saw him. She and Scott were sitting on the sofa. 

“It’s not even 7:40 yet,” Ronnie replied, sitting in the armchair. “Why so early?”

She looked grave. “We need to talk.”

Both he and Scott gulped. 

Jennifer swallowed and sighed. “I’m pregnant.”

Ronnie stared.

Scott looked away.

She continued. “I don’t know who the father is. Could be either of you. Scott may have a higher chance because he came in me first.”

Ronnie’s face grew hot, and he stared at his feet. A part of his brain went not again, but the other half was hushed. It wasn’t even like it was a complete mistake. They were trying for a baby. Well, he was going with what Jennifer wanted. It wasn’t like he didn’t want another kid, but he’d be just fine if they had one or not.

Scott... Scott could be the father. Scott, the man who’d divorced Beth because he was gay. The man Ronnie was in love with. Ronnie didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. He wondered what Scott’s face looked like. If he was pale or red, but Ronnie didn’t look up. Then he’d see her and the snarky expression she would wear when he did. 

“Now,” she started after the silence had gone on for too long, “Ronnie and I decided to start trying for a baby back in August, so I went off birth control. I never realized that I’d get pregnant this soon. Or that it would be from that coupling.”

“We won’t know who the father is until it’s born,” Scott muttered.

Ronnie finally looked up. Jennifer looked exhausted, and Scott was pink in the cheeks. He looked shameful. Nguyệt stood behind both, smiling like it was the funniest thing in the world.  

“So, I’m asking you two: How is this gonna work?” She glanced at Ronnie. “And you’re talking tonight, Ronnie. I’m not gonna have you shut me out, and me and Scott say everything. We did something, and here’s the consequences.”

“I know,” he uttered under his breath. “So what? We’ll just wait and see whose kid it is, and if it’s Scott, he'll have to spend time with it?”

They both stared at him.

He frowned. “Sorry. ...That came off ruder than I meant it to.”

Jennifer crossed her arms. “You two are having an affair. Not some hook-up or fling. An affair. You two fucked up your marriage,” she said, pointing at Scott. “...Look, Beth and I aren’t friends. We never have been, but you made the most conservative Catholic woman I know get a divorce. I mean, that’s a feat right there. And what am I doing? I’m letting you two continue like it doesn’t bother me.” She bit her lip and sighed. “It’s three of us now, whether you two like it or not.”

Scott grabbed her hand from her lap and glanced at Ronnie. “Y’all have been stuck with me for a while. I’m not leaving anytime soon.”

She smiled sadly. 

I love you both, Ronnie wanted to say. But he didn’t. He was too much of a coward to say it. So, he nodded instead and moved to sit next to Jennifer, ignoring Nguyệt, still behind the couch, staring judgmentally. He leaned on her shoulder and put his hand over Scott and Jennifer’s. Maybe they knew, even though he couldn’t force himself to say it. He was stuck between them, on a ship that was constantly sinking and being fixed. And most of the sinking was his fault too.

“Sorry,” he whispered like it was the only word he could say. He closed his eyes. His head hurt. He needed a drink. He always needed one. Ronnie hated himself for it. Sorry for being a dick. Sorry for being a drunk. Sorry about the pills. Sorry for cheating. Sorry for being unable to talk. Sorry he couldn’t put down his worries and burdens just for a little while. 

Jennifer ran her other hand through his hair gently. “It’s okay, Ronnie.”

The ring around his neck grew warmer as he felt Scott touch his cheek. His palms were rough from the calluses he got from playing the guitar constantly.   

“I’m sorry,” he said again, but he wasn’t sure who it was directed at. Him, Scott, Jennifer, Nguyệt, or the unborn child. 

 

 

End of Part IV

Notes:

me plotting that she would get off the pill so it wouldn't be an "accidental pregnancy"

 

also fun fact the Supreme Being in the Omaha religion is called Wankanda I am not making this up

thank you so much for reading!

For Context

The first pregnancy test kits appeared in the US in 1977, widespread by 1978. The first one released kinda looked like a chemistry set, and you had to put the test somewhere where it wouldn't be touched or interrupted, as it took a while for results. Most women would just put it in the fridge for an hour lol.

Chapter 102: In a Hotel (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Jennifer and Ronnie get married.

CW: Alcohol abuse, mention of period-typical racism/sexism, and I also want to give a heads up on a certain character's mental health (y'all know who), which has already been in a slow decline and obviously is getting worse.

Notes:

start of part v!!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Part V: Rabbits

January 7th, 1978 - October 10th, 1978

 

Chapter 102: In a Hotel

 

Saturday, January 7th, 1978, New York, New York

 

“Anybody got pot or something stronger than a cigarette?” Isaac asked as he watched both Ronnie and Scott light one.

“Isaac, you’re not fucking smoking marijuana before my wedding,” Ronnie replied, smoke coming out of his mouth. 

He frowned and sat next to Bobby, who was fixing his cuffs. 

The room was small and only consisted of a door that led to a changing room, chairs, and a mirror. Laurie leaned against the changing room door, adjusting his bowtie. In less than an hour, Ronnie would be watching Jennifer walk down the aisle. For some strange reason, he didn’t feel nervous at all. 

“Ya know, Bobby, I was pretty surprised when I found out you got engaged,” Isaac said, pulling at one of his ears.

Bobby turned to him. “Why?”

Isaac looked like he was trying not to smile. “Uh... I honestly thought you were gay.”

Ronnie laughed.

“What?”

Bobby gave him a sheepish look. “I am gay.”

Laurie and Isaac’s eyes widened. 

“You’re gay?” Laurie said like he couldn’t believe it. 

Isaac was more confused than shocked. “Then why’d you get engaged?”

“To throw off my parents. We were never planning to get married.”

Isaac nodded. “Smart.”

Scott took his cigarette out of his mouth. “You don’t seem bothered by it.”

“My papa always says us Jews and homosexuals were equally screwed in the Holocaust, so it’d be hypocritical to be homophobic. Plus, my sister Anna is a lesbian. Lives in Greenwich Village.”

“Wait, Anna Rosenberg’s your sister?”

“...Yeah.”

Scott snapped his fingers. “Shit, I know her. Works for my manager’s husband.”

“You know Hector Bernstein?”

“Yeah, I’m actually going to their son Daniel’s bar mitzvah next week.”

Isaac smiled. “Oh shit, me too. We should sit next to each other.” He then turned to the confused gentiles. “The Bernsteins throw really big parties. There'll probably be like over 400 people at the ceremony and dinner after.”

“Jesus,” Laurie muttered. 

Bobby turned back to Isaac. “How come you never said anything?”

“I didn’t think it was a good idea for the sole Jew to also say that his sister is a lesbian.”

Ronnie nodded. “Fair.”

“Plus, I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but Wyatt was a fucking asshole and racist. I didn’t wanna start something, especially after what he said about Harry and my wife.”

“Who’s Wyatt?” Scott asked.

“He was in our platoon. Got killed. Was really sexist. And a dick,” Bobby explained. 

“Huh.”

“What did he say?” Ronnie asked, trying not to think about his corpse.

“I’m not repeating it.”

He nodded. He hadn’t known that before, but Ronnie guessed he shouldn’t be surprised.

Isaac looked at Ronnie and back at Bobby. “You already knew he was gay.”

“Yup, known for a while.” He sighed. Everyone else in the room knew one way or another. They were his closest male friends, and honestly, Ronnie was closer to Isaac than he was to Laurie now. For once, Ronnie decided to be honest. “Isaac, you’re the only person in the room who doesn’t know this, and I don’t think it’s fair to keep you in the dar-”

“What, you’re bisexual?” Isaac interrupted. 

“Uh, yeah.”

“When’d you realize?”

“Officially, three years ago.”

Isaac clasped his hand on Ronnie’s shoulder. “Man, I don’t give a fuck if you fuck dudes and girls. My only requirement for friends is don’t be an asshole, which pretty much covers racism and Anti-Semitism. …You mind if I tell Bian? She’ll be supportive.”

He smiled. “Thanks. Yeah, it’s fine, don’t say anything to anyone else though.” He looked back at Laurie, who had gotten quiet. “Are you still upset that I picked Scott to be my best man?”

Scott looked up. “Wait, you’re mad about that?”

Laurie scoffed and shook his head. “No. He’s just salty that I picked someone else to be my best man.”

Ronnie tapped his cigarette on a chair, letting the ashes fall to the floor. “No, I’m grateful. I didn’t have to make a best man speech.”

“Plus, I was your best man the first time.”

“Everyone in this room was at your wedding last time,” Bobby mused. “Except for Scott.”

The room fell silent. The last time was almost eight years ago. Ronnie felt like a completely different person. He wondered if the men around him did too. 

“Weird,” Isaac muttered. 

Scott put his cigarette out and glanced at his watch. “Okay, before everyone starts reminiscing about dropping Napalm on kids, it’s time to go.”

All four of them glared at Scott.

“Ignore him,” Ronnie muttered, putting out his cigarette. “Go ahead and take your positions, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Laurie, Isaac, and Bobby nodded and left the room, leaving Ronnie alone with his best man. 

Scott stood in front of Ronnie, his eyes sweeping across his tuxedo. “Nothing looks broken.”

Ronnie bit his tongue and smiled. “Yeah.” On the outside at least.

The shoes Scott wore added another inch of height, so for once, they were the same height. Ronnie had never really noticed how much of a difference an inch made until now. 

“You good?” The blond asked, brushing his thumb across Ronnie's face. He leaned forward and kissed him lightly, moving back before Ronnie could properly react. “That’ll be the last time I kiss you as an unmarried man.”

He could feel his heart beating in his chest. The ring on his chest grew hot. The ring. Oh god, the ring. “Wait,” he muttered, undoing his bowtie and the top two buttons of his shirt. “I have-I have to take it off,” he whispered, reaching for the clasp on the back of his neck. 

He touched the clasp and sighed. He’d worn it for the last six years and never taken it off. He wasn’t even sure what it meant. His hands trembled. 

Scott frowned. “Let me do it.” He reached forward and touched the back of Ronnie's neck. His hands were surprisingly warm. His fingers found the clasp and undid it, making a snapping sound. He pulled the chain before it could fall, and the next thing Ronnie knew, Scott was holding it in his palm. 

His chest felt lighter. Maybe that was it. Maybe she would go away if he got rid of it. Maybe that was why she was around. That fucking ring. 

“I’ll hold on to it,” he muttered, slipping it into his pocket.

“No, just throw it out.”

Scott looked at him. “Why?”

“I don’t want to see it again.” I don’t want to see her again.

“Ronnie.”

He shook his head firmly. “I need to let go. I can’t get married with another ring on me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Ronnie sniffed as he fixed his shirt and redid his bowtie. Scott watched him, adjusting the bowtie slightly when he finished. He felt drained, almost like something was sapping at his life force. Maybe it was the ring.  

Great, he thought. You sound insane too.

He took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back. He thought he’d feel a thousand times better, but he still had a dull feeling in the back of his mind. He was getting married, for Christ’s sake. Why was he feeling this way?

“Alright, let’s go,” Scott muttered, opening the door. 

He followed him out of the room and separated from Scott, who was escorting Angie, Jennifer’s maid of honor. He went into the hall where they were having the ceremony. Most of the people were seated, and if they weren’t, they sat when they saw Ronnie come in and stand next to the notary, who happened to be the husband of one of Jennifer's coworkers. 

Ronnie rocked himself on the balls of his feet, looking at the people in the chairs. Shannon gave him a big grin, but he was sure it was for the Christmas present he’d gotten her, tickets to see the Sex Pistols next week. It was all the way in San Fran, but it was the only show that still had tickets left. Plus, he’d get to see Bobby again too. 

August was holding his favorite toy, a Stretch Armstrong he called Raboy, from the Latvian word for creepy, rāpojošs, which was what Valentina called it when she first saw it. Ronnie didn’t disagree. Watching his son’s little toddler hands stretch the toy as far he could and then giggling when it snapped back was creepy. 

August was initially supposed to be a ring bearer along with his older brother and Isaac and Bian’s son Dean, but they decided against it after he tried to put the rings in his mouth. Pamela’s son Jack was also supposed to be a ring bearer, but he’d broken his arm during Christmas break. He didn’t look too glum about it, though. Pamela had mentioned that Jack was timid and quiet. Ronnie wondered if naming him after her father was an omen. 

Music started to play, and everyone fell silent as the door opened. Ronnie swallowed and stood up straight, staring at the aisle. Rosie and Pamela’s daughter Florence entered first, wearing matching yellow dresses with white sashes, each holding a small woven basket full of oxeye daisy petals. They both had daisies in their hair.

He took a deep breath and tried to forget Nguyệt and ignore the urge to drink. He couldn’t be thinking about any of that now. He was getting married to the love of his life. ...Well, one of them. 

 

***

 

The reception was in the room next to where they had the ceremony. Jennifer had chosen yellow, lavender, and white for the wedding colors, which now decorated the hall. He’d been worried that the colors would be too much, but there was just enough yellow and lavender in the room. It was decorated more for a spring wedding though, not one in January. 

“Champagne?” Bian asked, coming up to him. She was wearing an orange ao dai, and her hands held two flute glasses. 

“Thank you,” he replied, taking one from her. 

Do you mind if we speak in Vietnamese ?” She asked, switching to her native tongue. “There’s no one else who is Vietnamese where we live, and I can rarely practice with someone other than my children.

No, it’s fine,” He replied, taking a sip of champagne. “Good practice for me also.”

She smiled, looking at Jennifer, who was speaking to Mary, Georgina, her Aunt Diane, and Layla. “She looks so beautiful.

“Yeah,” he sighed. 

Jennifer’s wedding dress was custom-made, and although it’d been expensive, he was glad they’d gotten it. The bell sleeves were chiffon, and the rest of the dress was a thin cotton layer with several chiffon layers on top, embroidered with galloping horses and trees on the bottom, paying homage to her people’s horse culture and woodlands culture prior to that. 

I am happy for you,” she said earnestly. “I hope you will still see me as a sister-in-law.”

He nodded. “ Of course. You’re all Benjamin has left on his mother’s side.”

She gave a melancholy smile at the mention of her sister. “I will be honest with you. I loved my sister. She was my best friend. But she was very naive and innocent. I remember she came to me after you two first slept together. She told me she was in love with you. I don’t think she knew what love properly was. She barely knew you. I think she loved the idea of you.

Ronnie swallowed. 

Bian continued. “When Nguyệt learned she was pregnant, she was very nervous, but when you proposed, she then told me how happy she was that she was pregnant. It forced you to be around.” She took a sip of champagne. “Would you have dated her if Benjamin had not been in the picture?

No,” he answered. “ I still wasn’t over Jennifer the first time we had sex. She was a ... rebound,” he finished in English because he didn’t know the equivalent in Vietnamese. “ Then she told me she was pregnant, and I had to get over Jennifer, even if I wasn’t .”

She nodded. “I know you loved my sister. You slowly came to it. But it was not passionate, yes?

Yes.”

You never looked at her the way you look at Jennifer. If she had lived... I doubt you two would have been happy.

I think she would have grown resentful of me. Mean, jealous, ” he muttered, thinking about how she acted now. “I wouldn’t blame her. I’m a difficult person, I won't deny it .”

“Ronnie.”

He looked at her. She and Nguyet hadn’t been identical twins, but they had looked similar enough for Ronnie to have called Bian her sister’s name more than a few times, even though Bian was a good five inches taller. Though, he hadn’t done that since before she died. 

It wasn’t your fault,” she said, touching his arm. “I’ve never blamed you. I never will.”

Ronnie could imagine Nguyệt calling her sister a liar, but she didn’t. Maybe it was the ring she was attached to. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but he just nodded. 

Bian then smiled. “It’s probably bad luck to speak about former marriages at a wedding,” she joked, switching back to English. “But seriously, I’m very happy for you both, Ronnie. You and Jennifer go so well together.”

He smiled at her. “Thanks. ...I need to use the bathroom if you’ll excuse me.”

She waved him off. “Go, I need to make sure that our sons and Pamela’s son aren’t touching the cake.”

He smirked as he walked away, the smile melting off as he left the hall and went into the bathroom. There was no one in the bathroom, which was relieving because he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He undid his slacks and watched the urinal turn yellow and back to white as it went down the drain.  

Ronnie tucked back in his shirt and went to wash his hands when he heard humming. He paused and closed his eyes. No. It can’t be her

“You thought the ring would get rid of me,” Nguyệt said in a sing-song voice. “Are you upset I’m still here?”

He opened his eyes and saw her standing behind him in the mirror. Her hair was in a bun, and she wore the red ao dai she’d worn when she married him. It felt like salt to a wound. 

Ronnie sighed. “You’re not real,” he mumbled for the thousandth time.

And yet, here I am, no matter how many times you say it,” she whispered in her native language. 

“Not today,” he muttered, turning off the sink and leaving the bathroom, not bothering to dry his hands. He felt like an anvil had dropped on his chest. He adjusted his bowtie as he reentered the room and tried now to show how miserable he felt.

Ronnie didn’t like how he and Jennifer had to dance alone for the first dance. He’d rather have people dance with them, not watching like hawks stalking their prey. Honestly, he would prefer they dance alone, just him and her and the music. 

He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her as close as he could before it was considered inappropriate. Jennifer’s arms were around his neck as they swayed quietly to Leonard Cohen’s Suzanne, a rather unconventional song for a wedding, but if there was anything about their relationship, it was unconventional. 

“My mom asked why we picked such a sad song,” Jennifer mused. “I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was the song that played when we had sex under the tree for the first time.”

Ronnie smiled faintly at the memory. They had almost froze while doing it.

“I’m worried about Valentina,” she continued, frowning, “she’s lost weight since we last saw her, and I’ve never seen her so pale in my life.”

He nodded. He had been shocked to see her look so unwell. He glanced to see her sitting at a table, watching them dance with a sad smile on her face. “She told me she was ill when she was young once. One of the major reasons why she risked the move here. Better medical care.”

“I hope it’s nothing. She’s become a good friend.”

“Me too.”

Jennifer raised her eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

She pursed her lips. “I don’t believe you.”

Ronnie put his head on her shoulder. “I’m just so happy right now,” he mumbled, closing his eyes.

Jennifer remained unmoved. “You don’t look it.”

“Let’s just enjoy the moment, Jen.”

Jennifer and Scott danced together after the song ended, and more people stepped onto the dance floor. He poured himself whiskey into a tumbler, filling it to the top. Ronnie looked up to see the pair staring at him, both with expressions of worry. He ignored them as he took a sip of his drink, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see anyone, imaginary or not. 

Notes:

he really threw out the ring after vowing to never take it off.

also, i cannot describe how much leonard cohen's suzanne fits them so much like listen to it please

y'all the third episode of the last of us made me bawl my eyes out i am so sad like it was so fucking good, and i need everyone to know.

Chapter 103: San Francisco, Darling (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie takes Shannon to a concert and seeks out an old flame as his visions grow worse

CW: Mentions of drug usage and abuse, usage of outdated terms for trans folks and what can be read as brief transphobia, though it's really more of the character hasn't encountered trans people before, and it's also the 1970s, terminal illness, mentions of alcoholism, suicidal/depressed thoughts,

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 103: San Francisco, Darling

 

Saturday, January 14th, 1978, San Francisco, California



Ronnie stared at his youngest sister as they left the venue. “What the fuck was that?”

Shannon looked up into the sky in awe. “That was amazing,” she breathed, shivering in the black leather jacket Scott had given her for Christmas. Mary hadn’t approved. 

“That was psychotic,” he replied, moving away from other rowdy concertgoers. “Bass player... What’s his name?”

The teenager gave him a look like he was stupid. “Sid Vicious, dummy.”

“Okay, I don’t listen to punk rock, fuck off.”

Shannon’s face softened. “What about him?”

He smirked. “He’s so on heroin.”

She shook her head. “No, he just acts like that.” She smiled proudly. “It’s punk.”

“On heroin,” Ronnie quipped.

“How would you know?”

He gave her a look.

Shannon’s jaw dropped, and her eyes widened. “You’ve done heroin?!”

Normally, Ronnie would have shushed her, but considering they had just left a Sex Pistols concert, he just shrugged. “I’ve done a lot of drugs.”

She didn't look convinced. “Have you done cocaine?”

“Yeah.”

“Acid?”

“Yeah.”

“Weed or Hash?”

“Both.”

“Magic mushrooms?”

“Yeah.”

“Molly?”

“Yup.”

Shannon looked even more shocked. “What haven’t you done?”

“Meth,” he answered after a beat. “And fentanyl.” He gave her a stern look. “If you say anything to Mom, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I won’t.”

Ronnie’s eyebrows furrowed together as they turned onto another street. “How do you even know about all those? You’re fifteen in fucking Nebraska.”

She shrugged. “I hear things.” She then shivered and zipped up her jacket. “Can we get food?”

“We already ate before the concert.”

“I’m hungry.”

“Hi, Hungry.”

Shannon scowled. 

Ronnie sighed. “You can get room service if you want.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

He nodded. “I’m gonna visit an old friend. You okay with that?”

She looked confused. “I thought we’re meeting up with Bobby tomorrow.”

“It’s someone else,” he replied quietly. 

“Okay,” she muttered. 

The concert had given Ronnie a burst of energy he hadn’t felt in a while, though he could feel it fading and the weight on his chest returning. No matter how much Ronnie drank or did something he enjoyed, the sinking feeling always returned. He could barely remember what it was like to have to not pretend he was happier than he really was. Keeping up appearances was difficult. 

When they returned to the hotel, Ronnie gave Shannon the key and used his older brother/dad voice. “If you leave this room while I’m gone, and I find out about it, I’m telling Mom,” he warned. “Got it?”

She nodded. “Got it.”

Ronnie left the room after using the bathroom and went down to the reception, where he grabbed a map of the city and left, not bothering to take a cab. Reception had said it was a 20 minute walk. He’d grown up in fucking Nebraska, he could deal with a San Franciscan January. 

Still, it was odd. Ronnie honestly thought he’d never see Lola again. Now he was walking in the middle of the night to her apartment based on a conversation from a few days prior. 

On Wednesday after work, he and Jennifer had gone shopping for a crib and other furniture for the future baby’s room. Scott had agreed to reimburse them for half. He was supposed to be with them, but Scott had flown out to London the day after the wedding to do some last-minute recording for The Queen of Sheba at Abbey Road and to film an episode of The Muppet Show, which was going to be a surprise for the kids. Ronnie had spent most of the shopping feeling like shit and then feeling guilty that he felt like shit. 

Jennifer and Benjamin had gone to the bathroom, so he was alone standing by cribs on display when he heard someone behind him. 

“Ronnie, right?”

Confused, he turned to see a woman with short black hair and narrow eyes. She looked familiar, but Ronnie wasn't sure where. Then a memory of a sparkly blue jumpsuit and the woman wearing it appeared in his mind. “Michelle? Michelle Park?”

She nodded and smiled. “How are you? It’s been nearly five years, right?”

“Yeah. I’m great,” he lied, smiling. “Just got married.”

Michelle grinned back. “Oh, congratulations.”

“Thanks. What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Work.”

“Same. Just moved into an empty apartment, so I’m here buying furniture.”

Ronnie swallowed. “Do you... still talk to Lola?”

“We started dating after you two broke up.”

“Not that surprised.”

She sighed. “We broke up about a year ago, but we’re still good friends.”

He looked at the ring around his finger. “How is she?"

Michelle frowned. “Not good. She’s really sick.”

“Shit,” he muttered. 

“Her immune system just completely fell apart.” She paused. “I don’t think she’ll live another three years.”

Ronnie stood there in shock. “Oh my god.” He could tell she still cared about her because her face was written in sorrow. “Is she still in LA?”

“No, we moved back to San Francisco together.”

They stood there in silence for a moment, Ronnie thinking about Lola. Michelle was probably doing the same. 

“Do you have her address?” He finally asked. “I’m going to San Fran on Saturday.” I should apologize, he thought to himself. It’s been over four years. 

“Oh, uh sure,” she replied, digging a receipt and pen out of her wallet and handing it to him when she finished writing the address down. 

“Thanks,” he muttered, shoving it into his pocket, not bothering to look at it. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” she had said, smiling as she walked away.

He heard laughter, shaking him out of the memory, and turned to see Nguyệt walking next to him, giggling. 

“You are a bad luck charm,” she told him. “First, I die, and now your ex is sick. I wonder what will happen to your darling Jennifer.” She spoke Jennifer’s name like it was a curse. 

“Maybe you’re the bad luck charm because everything started going to shit after I married you,” Ronnie replied.

She looked surprised that he had actually replied. “You are not telling me to go away? Like you always do?”

“I don’t care right now.”

The apartment where Lola lived was bright orange, and the rusty metal staircase made creaking noises as he went up them. He knocked on a faded green door with the number 7, swallowing his nerves. 

The door opened, and a man—no, a woman, a transsexual woman appeared, wearing a bright violet robe. She cocked a brow. “Who you?” Her voice was higher than Ronnie expected. 

“Uh, does Lola Freedmen live here?”

“How do you know her?” 

“We used to date. I’m Ronnie.” 

She paused for a beat before letting him in. “I’m Vicky.” 

“Nice to meet you,” he muttered, stepping inside. The apartment was small but well decorated. 

Vicky frowned as she closed the door. “Lola’s not the same.”

He nodded. “I gathered that from what Michelle told me.”

“You saw Michelle?” 

“I ran into her back home. Why I know she’s sick.” 

She sighed. “Mmm. She’s awake right now. Better go see her before she pops her pills and sleeps.” 

“Thanks.”

Vicky pointed to a blue door. “She’s in there.”

He nodded curtly and walked toward the door, taking a deep breath as he opened it. The bedroom was small, with a bed, nightstand, a dresser drawer, and a chair against the wall. In the bed lay a thin, sickly-looking woman with a grey silk bonnet covering her hair. At the sound of the creaking door, she opened her eyes and stared. 

“Ronnie? Or did you just turn into the spitting image of my ex-boyfriend?”

“Hi, Lola,” he said, closing the door behind him.

She let out a weak cough. “Fuck, it is you.”

Ronnie pulled up the chair next to the bed and sat down, smiling sadly. “It is.”

“Oh my god. ...How did you know I was here?”

“I ran into Michelle while shopping.”

Lola cocked her head. “But Michelle’s in New York.”

“I live there now.”

“Since when?”

“December 1976.”

She leaned forward. “Did you come to San Francisco from fucking New York City to see me?”

He shrugged. “Well, I already knew I was gonna be in town. Took Shannon to a concert.”

“How is she?”

“She’s a punk,” he said, smirking, “or as much as you can be if you live in Nebraska and with my mother.”

“Jesus.” Lola sat back. “Where is she now?”

“I left her at the hotel.”

She looked alarmed. “What?”

“She’s fifteen. She’ll live.”

“Already?”

He knew that feeling. “I know.”

Lola sighed and sized him up. Her eyes wandered until they came across his hands, which rested in his lap. The gold ring had caught her eye. “You’re remarried.”

He smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

“How long?”

“One week today.”

She laughed weakly. “Fuck. Who is she?”

He gave her a goofy look. “My high school sweetheart. ...Well, technically middle school because we started dating when I was eighth and she in seventh.”

Lola laughed again until it turned into coughing. They were wet and sounded painful. Ronnie grimaced. 

“You okay?” He asked when she was breathing normally again.

“Yeah, I just started coughin’ when I’m too riled up.”

Ronnie pulled out his wallet and the picture of Jennifer he kept inside it. It was from last summer, when she had gone to the beach while he was on a business trip. He liked it very much, even more so because Scott had been the one to take it. He handed it to her, touching her bony fingers. They were sweaty, though she looked cold. 

She brought the picture closer to her face and whistled. “If you had told me this was the girl you cheated on me with, I would have been okay with it.”

He chuckled awkwardly and found himself rambling. “The picture doesn’t do her justice, but she has the most beautiful eyes, black with splashes of brown and dark green.” Like a great mountain covered in ash, earth, and greenery, he thought, feeling pretentious. “They’re like a great big forest, dark and tantalizing. …I could wander in them forever.” He blushed when he realized he’d mostly said everything out loud. “Sorry.”

Lola handed it back to him and smiled. “You’re fine, I can tell you love her. She an Indian?”

“Yeah, Omaha,” he answered, putting it back and his wallet away. “We’re expecting our first together in July.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Was this another Oh-Fuck-I-Got-Her-Pregnant marriage?”

Ronnie genuinely laughed. “No, we were already engaged and trying for a baby when we found out. It just happened sooner than we thought.” He swallowed. He had an urge to tell her everything. He never felt that way. Maybe it was because she might die. “Can you keep a secret?”

If she could have raised her eyebrows even further, she would have. “You see me getting up anytime soon?”

“There’s... a chance the baby's not mine.”

Lola looked intrigued, sitting back straighter. “Really?”

He sighed. Why was he telling her this? “Uh... you know when you dumped me?”

“Yes. You were an asshole,” she stated. 

“I don’t disagree.” Ronnie yawned. “I was having an affair, right?”

“Oh, it was a whole blown affair?” She sounded more amused than bitter. 

“Yeah, they were married. We continued until I felt guilty enough to end it and tell my sister I was sleeping with her husband.”

Lola did a double take. “Wait, what? You and Scott?! That’s why he got divorced?”

He nodded. “I am an official homewrecker.”

She still sat there in disbelief. “Oh my god, it was him? You never told me you were queer too.”

“I didn’t know it back then. It took a quickie in a gay bar for me to realize I was bisexual.”

“Welcome to the club,” she muttered, sitting back into her pillows. “I can’t believe it.”

“Well, we were separated for about a year, and we each made some amends with my sister, and we reunited at my niece’s baptism, and we started hooking up again. I got serious with Jennifer—my wife—again, in the meanwhile. 

My bitch sister outed Scott to Jennifer, and she figured it out and asked him. He told her the truth and then told me that she knew, and then we all went out one day, got real drunk and high on cocaine and Quaaludes, and had a threesome. She finds out she's pregnant a while later, unsure who the father is.”

Lola sighed loudly. “Fuck, man. And I thought my life’s gotten complicated.”

He shrugged. “I... care about both of them.” He cursed internally for still being unable to say he loved them both.

“Are y’all gonna co-parent?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Are you excited, at least? Having baby number two?”

“Well, this one will be my third,” he corrected. 

She scoffed. “When the fuck did you have another kid?”

“After we broke up and before I got back with my wife. His name’s August. He turns three in six days.”

“Who’s his mom?”

“A close friend.”

She nodded. 

He gulped. “What about you? What have you been doing?”

“Talking to you in my bed.”

Ronnie frowned and rolled his eyes. 

She raised her palms and smirked. “I went back here after we broke up with Michelle. We started dating, and I got a job at the hospital.” She sighed.  “I haven’t been able to work in three months.”

“Why?”

Lola stared at her bedroom door with a melancholy expression. “I’m dying, Ronnie.”

He scrunched his eyebrows and looked at his lap. “Michelle wasn’t kidding when she said you were really sick.”

She turned back to him. “The worst part is no one knows what I have. All they know is that it’s wrecked my immune system, and I can’t fight infections anymore. I can barely leave this room.”

Ronnie sat there in shock. “How the hell do they not know?”

She broke into a bitter grin. “See, the funny thing is that I’m not the only one here who has this mysterious illness, but it’s mostly hitting gay men and the occasional needle junkie.” Her fist clenched. “So no one cares.”

He frowned. This was not the outgoing party girl he dated five years ago. This was a ghost in the shell of that person. 

“Doc don’t think I’ll live much longer. Maybe two years more, three if I’m lucky. I never took care of myself anyway. It was always everyone else. I joined the Panthers to fight for other people’s rights, not just mine. I became a nurse because I wanted to help people. I drank, fucked, smoked, did drugs. Heroin and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the last ten years. I guess here’s the price.”

He swallowed as she reached out and took his hand, wrapping her cold sweaty fingers around his warm sweaty ones. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Ronnie,” Lola whispered. “I hope you’re happier than you were with me.”

Ronnie blinked and choked back a whimper. “I feel like I should, and I’m not. I hate myself for it. I-I have this weight on my chest, and no matter what I do, it always comes back. Drinking don’t work anymore, and yet, I haven’t gone a day sober in months. It’s getting worse. I’m starting to feel the way I did before I tried to kill myself six years ago, Lola,” he finally admitted, a sense of dread washing over him.

Lola rubbed his hand gently. “Well, you can’t do no dying until I do. I can’t have you outshining me.”

He smiled sadly.

Her grip tightened. “Promise me you’ll go to my funeral?”

“I will.”

She began to tear up. “I don’t wanna die, but I’ve made my peace with it. I had some good times in my life, and I helped people.”

Ronnie felt tears starting to pool up as well.

“I used to say back when I was a Panther I would never live past 35, that some pig would kill me, or I’d die of drugs. I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess. I was a fortune teller and didn’t know it.”

“Lola?”

“Yeah?”

He wiped his face. “I’m sorry.”

She coughed and grinned meekly. “I forgave you a long time ago, honey. Life’s too short to hold grudges. Unless they really deserve it.” Lola yawned. “I get so tired now. I’m glad you came.” She let go of his hands and settled into her bed. “Tell your sister I said hi.”

He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, Lorraine.”

She sighed as a tear fell from her closed eyes. “Good night, Ronnie.”

Ronnie stood up quietly and left the room, leaving the chair by the bed and closing the door behind him. 

Vicky was sitting at the table, smoking a cigarette, her fake nails making clicking noises on the wood. She looked up. “You okay, sugar?”

“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

She put her cigarette out in the ashtray in front of her. “She always said that out of all the boys she dated, you were her favorite.”

“I wish I had loved her.”

“I think she does too.”

Notes:

I felt it was really important to at least allude to HIV/AIDS, considering its major effects on the community in the 80s. In fact, it's because of HIV that gay men started using condoms. By this point, people were already starting to see it, but it wasn't until 1980/1981 that it was properly identified. And at the same time, I felt it was really unfair to leave Lola and her story without tying up strings, even if it's a depressing end. Believe me, I teared up writing this chapter.

 

For Context

The Winter Ballroom concert in San Fran would be the Sex Pistols' last concert ever (on their first and only American tour) before breaking and Sid Vicious' death the next year.

Chapter 104: Fever Dreams (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie turns 28 and contemplates his life and the constant feeling of misery

CW: alcoholism/alcohol abuse, depression, sexual references

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 4.5K HITS AHHHHHHHHHH

Notes:

NOTE: I am starting to do twice-a-week updates again!!!! After this, I will be back on the Wednesday and Sundays schedule. Bc of school, the Wednesday chapter will be obviously uploaded later bc I always post exactly at midnight on Sundays haha.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 104: Fever Dreams

 

Wednesday, February 1st, 1978, Bayside, Queens, New York



Ronnie felt his throat close as he gasped, opening his eyes and grasping his neck. He sat up, hyperventilating rapidly. 

Jennifer almost immediately woke up, turning to her husband amid his panic. “Ronnie, what happened?” She asked, sleep still in her voice. 

He panted loudly, dropping his hands from his neck, shaking as he did. 

“Ronnie, it was just a nightmare,” Jennifer said gently. “Look at me.”

He did what she told him.

“Take deep breaths,” she advised. “It wasn’t real.”

He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes as she rubbed his shoulder, muttering soothing things. When he finally calmed down, he leaned back and glanced at the clock on his nightstand. 5:07. “I’m sorry.”

She kissed his cheek. “It’s okay, baby.”

Ronnie turned his head and nuzzled into her neck, seeking her warmth. “I like it when you call me that.”

He felt Jennifer smile against his forehead. “Happy birthday, baby,” she whispered, kissing his face again. 

The nightmares had gotten worse. He knew it. She knew it. She had stopped asking what they were about a while ago because she knew he wouldn’t say a word. He was supposed to trust her, and yet, he couldn’t, no matter how much he wanted to. 

“I don’t wanna go to work today,” he finally said, moving away from her. 

“Then don’t. Call in sick.” She rubbed his cheek. “When was the last time you got a full night’s rest?”

He turned away from her hand. “If I stay home today, I’ll do it tomorrow and the next day.”

“Do you really hate work that much?”

“Considering I’m in a cubical all day long having to deal with calls, yes.” He yawned. “It just gets more stressful every day.”

Jennifer looked at her chest. “Have you thought about looking for a new job?”

“I don’t have the time,” Ronnie muttered, setting the blankets aside and getting out of bed, “and we need the money anyway.” He walked into their bathroom and turned on the shower, closing the door and stripping out of his boxers and t-shirt. 

He watched as the steam began to rise and stepped in, reminding himself that the water was hot and that he wouldn’t drown. He made a point to stand away from the direction of the water.

“Happy birthday, em yêu.”

Ronnie didn’t bother to look. “Why do you always bother me when I’m showering?” He mumbled as an arm dragged across his body.

Nguyệt stroked his shoulder. “Calm down, Ronnie.” She breathed against his back. “Do you remember the first time we had sex? When we conceived our son? It was today, eight years ago.”

He sighed. “I remember.”

She traced patterns on his back with her cold hands. “Why don’t you kiss me? For that memory.”

“Please go away.”

“Oh, that’s mean,” she pouted, standing in front of him, her head just below his shoulders. She was nude. Of course she was. Nguyệt took his hands and placed them on her breasts. “This is what you did first before you took off your clothes.”

He pulled away and turned off the water. “If you ever loved me, please go away,” he practically begged. “For one fucking day. Please.”

She huffed. “Fine. If you wish.”

Ronnie moved past her and grabbed the towel hanging, drying himself off. He rubbed his face in the towel and looked up after. He couldn’t see her. He sighed, but not in relief. He didn’t want to jinx it. 

He wrapped the towel around his waist and left the bathroom to get dressed after quickly shaving. Jennifer was out of bed as well, adjusting her bra straps. The small bump on her stomach was starting to show, but the clothes she usually wore hid it. At 16 weeks, her belly was a bit larger than Ronnie thought it would be, but then again, he, Jennifer, and Scott were all six feet and up, meaning the baby would probably be way bigger than Benjamin or August when it was born. 

She saw him staring and smiled. “Do you think it’s a boy or girl?”

He shrugged, putting on a clean pair of underwear. “I hope it’s a girl. I think three boys will drive everyone nuts.”

Jennifer snickered. “Well, I’ll find out tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He dressed quickly, planning to take the subway rather than his car. 

“Why are you leaving so early?” She asked as he finished adjusting his tie. 

“I wanna take the subway, I’d rather you take the car.”

“Let me at least make you breakfast, you’re the birthday boy.”

He shook his head. “I’m not hungry,” he replied as she walked over to where he was standing. 

“See if your boss will let you out early then.”

“I’ll try,” he muttered, kissing her sweetly and rubbing her belly. “Give Benjamin a hug and kiss from me.”

“Sure.”

Before Ronnie walked to the subway station wrapped in a thick coat, he stopped by the convenience store nearby and bought a water bottle and four little bottles of vodka. The cashier gave him an amused look, but he ignored him. Outside, he dumped the water and put the vodka in the bottle instead. 

The New York subway was awful. He often saw rats the size of chihuahuas, and someone was always yelling, whether it was a child or a crackhead. As Jennifer grew more pregnant, he decided he would just use the subway all the time. He didn’t like the idea of her pregnant using the subway. 

Ronnie’s job was in the financial district of New York City, three blocks away from Wall Street. The publishing company was located on floors 18 to 25, printing being done elsewhere. His department was on the 23rd floor. Ronnie didn’t know his coworkers well since he didn’t bother to talk to them. The only people he did talk to were his boss, his boss’s secretary, and the custodian.

His cubicle was bare, but it felt so claustrophobic at times that Ronnie would just get up and leave for a smoking break just to get out of there. The environment felt overbearing and had a sickening kind of cleanliness that only offices gave off. He hated it. He knew it was hypocritical, but sometimes he missed working in auto shops. People weren’t stuck up there. 

He drank coffee from a styrofoam cup, pouring a bit of his “water bottle” into it when people weren’t looking. Whiskey and coffee tasted better, but it was easier to sneak in vodka. 

Ronnie thought it was better to keep to himself. He knew everyone saw him as the tall, quiet guy with dark eyebags who only spoke when he had to. A part of him found it amusing, considering he had been both popular and chatty in high school. Honestly, it was only in the last couple of years that he no longer considered himself an extrovert. All those sex benders he’d go on two, three years ago? He could barely imagine doing it now, married or not. 

Most of the time, he felt miserable. An anchor on his chest and his head clogged with water. Nguyệt would look at him and laugh, and when they were alone—no, he hadn’t seen her since this morning, and thinking about her would ruin it. 

28. Two decades and eight years since his birth. Ronnie was closer to 30 than 20. That couldn’t be right. Everything since 1970 had gone by so quickly, and yet, so slowly. But there he was, a year older. If he was being truthful, he couldn’t see himself a year from now. Fuck, he could barely envision a month from now. He was too stuck in the past to look to the future. 

He smoked three cigarettes instead of eating lunch during his break. He was hungry, but he didn’t want to eat. Maybe he was a masochist after all and liked the feeling of pain. Maybe the hunger would conquer the constant feeling of misery, and Ronnie would feel less like shit. 

He spent the afternoon staring at his desk, waiting for someone else to pick up when the phones rang. When the clock hit 4, he stood up and left, not bothering to tell his boss he was leaving early. He definitely would never get Employee of the Month. 

As he left the building, he smoked another cigarette, throwing out the long empty water bottle in the trash can next to the subway station. He smoked his fifth one on the subway home as the person next to him chugged a bottle of rum. On the pathway home, he noticed that it’d gotten colder, and there was more snow than there was that morning.

He heard laughter from the kitchen as he entered the house. The smell of garlic and steak hit his nose as Toby eagerly went to greet him. He dropped his work bag and unloosened his tie, petting Toby as he caught Jennifer and Scott in the kitchen talking. Scott looked much happier than he’d seemed in months. At least someone was feeling better.

“Am I interrupting something?” Ronnie asked, waltzing into the kitchen.

Scott turned and pulled him into a hug. “Happy birthday, old man.”

He rolled his eyes as Jennifer kissed his cheek. 

Ronnie heard loud thudding and saw Benjamin running down the stairs as he began to sing Happy Birthday. When he finished, he hugged Ronnie and handed him a handmade card featuring two stick figures smiling on the front, a smaller one and a taller one, above a “HAPY BIRTDAY DADDY!!!” in green marker. He opened the card, ruffling his son’s hair.

 

Hapy birtday Daddy I love you so so so MUCH and your the best daddy ever!

 

Next to the words, Benjamin had decorated the card with smiley faces and stars. Ronnie looked at him. “This is amazing.”

Benjamin beamed as the phone started to ring. Ronnie walked over and answered, only to hear his mother, Shannon, Valentina, and August singing Happy Birthday loudly. 

“Thanks,” he muttered when they finished. 

They handed the phone to August, who proceeded to breathe into the phone for a few minutes before finally saying, “Bye-bye, Daddy!”

While Jennifer set up the table, Ronnie listened to the voice messages people had sent wishing him happy birthday. Hearing all the different people's voices cheered him up a bit. 

“Looks like I’m popular,” he mumbled, glancing at Scott. “How clogged does your phone get on your birthday?”

He shuddered. “It’s so bad. There’s a reason why I have three phone numbers.”

“Damn.”

“Which do we have?” Jennifer asked, setting wine glasses on the table.

“Y’all have my personal-personal number, which I only give to people I actually really like.”

“I’m flattered,” she replied.

For dinner, Jennifer had made pan-seared steak in garlic butter, canned green beans, sauteed mushrooms, and champ. She had made five steaks, one for steak and eggs tomorrow, but Ronnie knew he’d probably eat it too. God, he was fucking starving. 

Benjamin started talking about his day at school when they all sat down to eat. Scott’s appearance on The Muppet Show had been on Saturday, so it was the only thing the kids in Benjamin’s class were talking about. 

“I told them that I know you and that you were eating at my house tonight cause you’re best friends with my dad, but no one believed me.” He sighed. “Even Miss Lancaster.”

Scott frowned. “What? But you’re like the most honest person I know.”

Benjamin crossed his arms. “I know. I don’t like to lie.”

Jennifer looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh. 

“Well,” he began, setting his wine glass down, “we need to show your classmates and your teacher that you're telling the truth. What if I had lunch with you on Friday?” He glanced at the other two adults. “If y’all are okay with that, of course.”

Jennifer waved her hand. “You’re listed as his emergency contact, so it should be no problem.”

He turned back to Benjamin. “I’ll bring White Castle.”

The boy’s eyes lit up. “I love White Castle! It’s my favorite restaurant.”

Even Ronnie, who had been mostly silent, chuckled at that. 

Jennifer had gotten him a black forest cake and written in neat dark brown icing, Happy Birthday Ronnie. Happy Birthday was sung again, and Ronnie blew out his candles, wishing that Scott and Jennifer would stop giving him concerned looks.

Benjamin was sent to bed after cake, though he was upset that he had to go to bed. 

“Ronnie, you look like your dog died,” Scott stated when Benjamin was out of earshot.

“You do,” Jennifer added, standing next to the blond. “Did anything happen at work?”

“I’m just tired,” he replied, rubbing his face. 

She pursed her lips. “You’re just saying that.”

Scott kissed her temple as he rubbed her belly gently. It was almost seductive. “Well, if you’re too tired, guess you can’t have birthday sex.”

He scoffed and stood up from the couch as Jennifer grabbed his hand and led him to their bedroom, Scott behind them. He closed the door and wrapped his arms around Ronnie’s waist, pulling him close. Ronnie involuntarily leaned back by his warmth. Being touched felt good

Scott kissed his neck as Jennifer unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his sternum as he slowly watched his shirt reveal more skin. He put his hands over Scott’s and arched his neck, head resting against Scott as Jennifer moved to unbutton his cuffs. 

Ronnie closed his eyes as he kissed Scott. This was bliss, even if it was temporary. 

Notes:

ahh so sorry for the late post i’m on a family ski trip and our family cabin like has zero service so yeah… actually in new york too (not the city) but still so wednesdays post will be later too

For Context

em yêu —> Honey in Vietnamese

The cold weather comment --> there was literally like a terrible blizzard a day or two after

Chapter 105: It's a Baby (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Jennifer takes Valentina on a pre-natal check-up and gets much more than she bargained for. Valentina discusses her health.

CW: Discussion of mental and physical illness (nothing crazy),

Latvian translations in end notes

Notes:

happy wednesday!

currently on a ski trip with extended family so that's been fun!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 105: It's a Baby

 

Thursday, March 23rd, 1978, Bayside, Queens, New York



Jennifer had adjusted to being called Mom by Benjamin, but when August had called her Other Mommy when they’d arrived for Easter yesterday, it had thrown her in a loop. Motherhood was creeping around the corner closer than she wanted it.

She couldn’t believe she was already 23 weeks pregnant. Her bump could no longer be hidden by baggy clothes, and the baby, a girl, was always kicking. To the point of annoyance. She was pretty sure babies weren’t supposed to kick this much, but then again, she had been told by several people, including Mary and Valentina, that her bump looked much bigger than five months. 

“You look how I look when I was end of six month,” Valentina had told her. Jennifer wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. 

She had taken off from work today for a doctor’s appointment. Good Friday was tomorrow anyway, and she could use the extra time to finally finish grading essays from her 11th grade classes. 

She had asked Valentina to come with her while Mary took Shannon, Benjamin (who was staying home today), and August to the Bronx Zoo. The Latvian looked even frailer than the last time she had seen her. It worried her, and the hushed whispers Valentina and Mary would use when they were together were not helping. 

Mary was taking the car, so Jennifer and Valentina took the subway, though she knew Ronnie would be upset if he found out. Sometimes she wondered if it was the only emotional burst he would have nowadays. 

“How is being married?” Valentina asked as they stepped onto the train. 

“Weird,” she answered honestly. “All of a sudden, I have two stepsons, though I’ve already considered both boys my stepsons anyway.”

She smiled. “I think August like having two mothers.”

“He’s so shy. I’m glad he’s finally now warming up to me.” She paused. “He’s been calling me Other Mommy. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course, it make me very glad he does. I am Mamma for August.” Valentina sighed as the train jolted. “How is Ronnie? I know him well. He is not happy.”

Jennifer frowned. “He’s depressed, even if he won’t say it outright,” she admitted quietly. "I want to help him and be there, but he’s so distant emotionally now. It’s hard seeing him like this. And I know it’ll get worse because he’s fucking stubborn and will refuse any help.”

“Hopefully, baby will make all better.”

“I hope so too,” she replied, though she doubted it. 

Valentina clutched her arms as she navigated them out of the station and onto the street. 

“Subway here is so confusing.”

“I know. I still get lost sometimes, but I don’t use it as much as Ronnie does.” She felt a little kick and rubbed her stomach. “I don’t like the subway anyway. I know too many people who have gotten mugged here.”

“Where is doctor office?”

Jennifer pointed to the medical building next to the hospital. “It’s up here.”

“That is big building.”

“Most buildings are huge in Manhattan.” She pointed to a familiar-looking skyscraper. “There’s the Empire State Building.”

Valentina looked amazed. “Wow,” she uttered before turning to Jennifer and blushing. “Are we allowed go on top?”

“Would you like to go there later?”

“Do you mind?”

She shrugged. “Well, we’ll get to skip the line because of this baby, so why not?”

Valentina was still pink in the cheeks. “Thank you.”

Jennifer smiled.

They entered the building and took the elevator to the seventh floor, where her OBGYN’s office was. Valentina still couldn’t believe there was so much stuff in one building. It made Jennifer wonder just how poor Valentina had grown up. Clearly poorer than Ronnie.

“What was being pregnant with August like?” She asked as they entered the doctor’s office. 

“It was easy pregnancy until seven months. I have health problems, and my face very red.”

“What about birth?”

Valentina frowned. “78 hours.”

“Oh my fucking god.”

, not fun. I lose lot of blood, and my cervix rupture.”

Jennifer stared at her. 

She squeezed her arm. “Sorry, I do not mean making you nervous or scared. I always have bad health, even before August. August was big baby as well. Ronnie say that he was twice size of Benjamin.”

“Wow.” Jennifer grabbed the sign-in clipboard and started to fill out the document. “August is gonna be tall, I can tell. He’s already at his brother’s shoulders.”

, but not as tall as Ronnie, I think.” She pointed at Jennifer’s stomach. “But this baby? You and Ronnie are tallest man and woman I know. She will be giant.”

She laughed. “Yeah, Scott joked that we’ll have basketball coaches lined up at the hospital.”

After she returned the clipboard to the receptionist, a blonde woman in scrubs came out. “Jennifer McKittrick?”

They stood up and followed the nurse to a dimmed room with a large (and clunky) ultrasound machine. Valentina’s eyes widened. 

Ak vai,” she mumbled. 

“Never seen one before?” The nurse asked.

She nodded. “Lot has changed in four years.”

The nurse nodded as Jennifer sat on the reclined bed. “This is your five-month check-up, Mrs. McKittrick?”

“Yes.”

The blonde started writing down a few things while Jennifer adjusted herself and pulled down her skirt to her hips. She glanced at Valentina.

“I miss wearing pants.”

She laughed.

The door opened, and a young man in a white coat with brown hair and big eyes walked in. “Hello, Mrs. McKittrick.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “God, call me Jennifer, Thomas.”

Thomas laughed. 

Jennifer glanced at Valentina, who looked very confused. “This is Dr. Thomas Nelson. We worked in the library together in college.”

“Ah.”

“This is my... sister-in-law,” she thought at the last minute, “Valentina Jansons-McKittrick.”

“Jansons... are you Swedish?”

“Latvian.”

“Communist bloc.” He smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

The nurse set up the ultrasound, turning on the machine as Thomas sat in a swivel chair beside the bed. Jennifer still thought it was funny that he happened to be the OBGYN she was recommended. He had been more surprised when she showed up as he thought she was still in California. 

“So, 23 weeks tomorrow. Seventeen more to go.”

“Yeah.”

He looked at her stomach. “A girl, right?”

She nodded.

“How’s kicking?”

Jennifer felt a kick as soon as he asked. “Constant.”

“Really?” He sounded surprised, studying her belly a bit longer before turning towards the ultrasound machine. “Hmm.”

She didn’t like that humming noise. Was there something wrong? Jennifer thought, trying not to squirm as the nurse squirted the cold gel and rubbed it on the wand.

A grainy image appeared on the tiny screen, with a blob in the center. Her daughter. How strange to think that grainy blob would be a screaming baby in four more months. 

“Kylie, move the wand a little to the left.”

She moved it slowly across Jennifer’s stomach. It felt ticklish. 

“Stop,” Thomas muttered as the screen started to show two grainy blobs. He pointed to the screen and glanced back at Jennifer. “Twins. I was wondering why you were already this big.”

“Twins?!” Jennifer yelped, exhaling loudly, throwing her head back. “Fuck.”

Valentina patted her shoulder gently. 

He laughed and pointed to the blob on the right. “That’s our girl, who was hiding her sibling the whole time.” He pointed to the other blob. “Here’s our other baby.” He studied it for a second. “I assume you wanna know the sex of this one too?”

“Yes,” she sighed as dollar signs and budgets filled her head. Oh lord, four kids

He pointed to a grainy spot on the previously unknown child. “It’s a boy.”

“Shit,” she moaned, glancing at Valentina. “I am so happy that we have double income.” And a multi-millionaire, her brain added before she started laughing, almost manically. 

Valentina took her hand. “You will be okay.”

Jennifer groaned, staring at the grainy screen. “God, two babies to shove out. And I just thought I was gonna have a really fucking big baby.”

Thomas gave her a sympathetic look. “Well, they both look healthy, and we can see two heartbeats.”

She nodded as a story from the Greek mythology class she took her sophomore year of college floated into her mind. The myth of Leda, who had two sets of twins from her husband Tyndareus and king god Zeus; Clytemnestra and Helen, and Castor and Pollux. They had also been born from swan eggs because Zeus disguised himself as one... Jennifer didn’t want to think about that part of the story. Twins with different fathers. Was it a possibility?

Kylie turned off the machine and left while Thomas discussed the next steps of her pregnancy and what to do now that it was two babies instead of one. When he paused to write something down, Jennifer turned to Valentina. 

“I need to ask Thomas something, uh—privately.”

She stood. “I understand. Is fine.”

When she closed the door, Jennifer sat up and fixed her skirt. “Are you and Caleb still together?”

He nodded. “He works in the Financial District. Architect.”

“I’m impressed.” She paused and sighed. “Um, what are the chances that the twins have different fathers?”

Thomas gave her a look. “Did you cheat on your husband?”

“No!” She immediately said as she felt her face grow hot. “...We had a threesome—my husband is bisexual... God, why am I even telling you this?”

He relaxed and crossed his legs. “As an old college friend... I say kinky, but as your doctor? Heteropaternal superfecundation is rare, yes, but it does happen. Honestly, more often than people think.”

“Superfecundation?”

“Fertilization of two or more eggs from the same cycle.” He clicked the pen in his hand absent-mindedly. “And you’re sure both of them had unprotected vaginal intercourse with you?”

Jennifer almost laughed. “Positive.”

“Well, it’s possible, but you won’t know until they’re born, and you do a paternity test.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Is your husband aware of this?” 

“Well, we thought the girl was likely the other man’s, but we’re obviously not 100 percent sure.”

Thomas moved and sat next to her. “Good luck with that, Jennifer.”

“I’ll try.”

They found a restaurant nearby and sat outside since it was sunny. It was busy, but as soon as they saw Jennifer’s swollen stomach, they found themselves sitting in the nicest part of the restaurant. Pregnancy had its perks. 

“Twins,” Valentina remarked after they ordered drinks. 

“I know.” She glanced at her stomach. 

“Do twins run in family?”

Jennifer recalled that Scott once said it did in his, that his father had been a twin, but his sister had died of the Spanish Flu. “No,” she answered after a beat, “none of my cousins are twins or have twins.”

The waiter came back with their drinks, and they ordered. Valentina ordered an appetizer as her lunch while Jennifer got a full entree and an appetizer. At least it now made sense why she was hungry all the time. 

“Are you that’s all you want?”

She nodded. “I had big breakfast.”

Jennifer was sure Valentina hadn’t eaten breakfast, but she didn’t reply. “Valentina?”

“Yes?”

The older woman took a deep breath. “When you said you knew that Scott was gay last year... you knew about him and Ronnie too, didn’t you?”

Valentina swallowed and nodded, her ears turning red. “Ronnie tell you?” She asked quietly.

“No, Scott did.”

She looked up, surprised. 

“After I asked him.”

“Oh.” She took a shaky breath and stared at Jennifer with her big blue eyes. They seemed to stare into her soul. “I wanted you knowing, but I could not betray. I am sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she told her, smiling grimly. “I was weirdly relieved when Scott told me.” Then she decided to be honest. If there was anyone who would understand, it was Valentina. “In October, Ronnie and I took the day off for Scott’s album cover shoot. We all hung out and went to a nightclub after. Got drunk and high. And horny. Really fucking horny. We got back to Scott’s apartment, and it was only a matter of time before we all started ripping each other’s clothes off. ...A month later, I found out I was pregnant.”

Valentina sat there, eyes wide. “And you are not sure who is father?”

“Or fathers.”

Atvainojiet? I’m sorry?”

“Twins can have different fathers if they’re from different eggs,” Jennifer explained, clutching her cup of water. “That’s what I asked Dr. Nelson.” After a moment, she laughed exasperatedly. “My husband is having an affair with a man who may be the father of one or both of my children, and I’m pretty sure I have fucking feelings for him too.”

Valentina stared at her, adjusting to the dump of information. “Does Scott return feelings?”

She scoffed. “Why would he? I mean, he’s supposed to be gay, but we’ve now had two threesomes. And I’ve watched them have sex thrice. Maybe he’s only fucking me because of Ronnie.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to dump all this on you, but–”

“I am only one you can tell.”

“Yeah.”

She suddenly gasped and leaned forward, clutching the table. Jennifer grabbed her arm. “Are you alright?”

, I just feel a bit weak.”

Jennifer could tell she was lying. She pushed her water toward her. “Here. Drink.”

Valentina looked up, and Jennifer could see tears in her eyes. Her throat clogged up. “Valentina,” she said slowly.

The brunette sniffed. “I know you and Ronnie think I look sick and weak. You are right.” She wiped her face. “I was going say this tonight, but…” She started, taking Jennifer’s hands. “I have cancer as child, Leukemia. I come here because doctors in Latvia are poor and have no good treatment.” She sniffled. “I was in debt until year ago. But I was healthy.” She swallowed and closed her eyes briefly. “It come back. Worse. Radiation expensive and sickness strong. No point.” Her grip on her hands tightened. “I am dying, Jennifer. I will be dead by October if lucky.”

Jennifer stared at her in shock as her eyes began to water. “Wha-what?”

Notes:

sorry

but i have been giving context clues for a while now...

 

LATVIAN TRANSLATION

Ak vai --> Oh my

Atvainojiet --> Excuse me

Chapter 106: Brothers (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Scott sees his brother after three years

 

CW: Drug usage, period typical homophobia and attitudes

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 106: Brothers

 

Early April 1978,  Upper West Side, Manhattan, New York



Scott was doing what he usually did when he was alone: smoking a joint and fucking around on some instrument. The instrument for today’s session was his grand piano, a birthday present he’d gotten himself two years ago. He had come up with a tune for some lyrics he’d written a few weeks ago, but it was too late to add anything to The Queen of Sheba, and it was jazzier than what Scott usually recorded. He thought maybe David Bowie would like it for his next album. If not, Scott was considering Styx since he had written Come Sail Away with Dennis DeYoung, which had become a big hit. 

He’d been smoking more lately, cigarettes and joints. He wondered if it was added stress of potentially being a father of one or even fucking two babies. He had paled and felt faint when Jennifer had told him. It hadn’t helped that he promptly learned that Valentina had terminal blood cancer after. If things kept going that way, Scott was sure he’d start feeling the same way Ronnie looked nowadays. If he just looked that miserable already, he couldn’t imagine how he felt internally. 

The buzzer rang loudly, jolting Scott from his thoughts and piano. He stood up and groaned, not in the mood for visitors. Well, if it were Ronnie or Jennifer, he wouldn’t mind. He went over to the keypad next to the elevator and picked up the phone attached to it.

“What’s up, Rodney?”

A muffled voice answered. “There’s a family here, claims to know you, Mr. Stern.”

“Uh… what are their names?” Rodney would recognize Ronnie. Maybe Darlene was stopping by and had brought Steven, Daniel, her youngest, a girl named Leah. But Scott was also sure she was coming by tomorrow, not today.

“Charlie and Lenora Stern.”

Scott almost dropped the phone. There was no fucking way—he stood there for a minute. “…What?”

“Do I send them away?”

“Uh, no. Send them up,” Scott muttered, hanging the phone up. How the fuck did they get his address?

He walked back to the piano and put out his joint, fidgeting as he stared at the elevator waiting to open. Suddenly, he felt more nervous than when he won his first Grammy. 

There was a ding, and the mahogany doors of the elevator opened, revealing a man with light brown hair, a woman with yellow-blonde hair and glasses, a small blond boy, and in the woman’s arms, a baby. His brother and his family.

They stepped out of the elevator and stared. Charlie had a beard on his face, and his hair was longer than the last time he’d seen him. He looked older, more beaten down, and weathered, likely from the constant ranch work.

Lenora’s glasses were different, and her once long hair was at her neck. He wouldn’t have recognized her if she wasn't standing next to Charlie. She wasn’t wearing any floral, tie dye, or mosaic patterns. That was a first. 

Kyle looked like his father with blond hair, meaning he looked like William when he was younger. The kid was what—six? Christ, he was already in elementary school. The baby was new. He hadn’t even known about it.

They stared at him, and he stared at them back until Kyle grinned big and ran toward him.

“Uncle Scott!” He cheered, hugging Scott’s left leg. 

He didn’t stop staring at his brother and sister-in-law. “What the fuck?”

Lenora laughed awkwardly and gestured to the baby in her arms. “This is Ava, your niece. She’s five months.”

Scott coughed. “Um, y’all wanna sit down?” He pointed to the couch, ruffling his nephew's hair with his other hand. 

Charlie nodded quietly. The silence was new. 

They sat down on the couch while Scott sat in the armchair across from them. Silence filled the room, Scott staring, Lenora looking at her feet, and Charlie watching Kyle, who was looking out the window. 

Finally, Charlie sighed and looked at his brother. “It’s been a while.”

“No shit.” He glanced at his nephew. “Hey, there’s some toys in your cousin's room, you can go in there if you want. It’s the door down that hall that says Rosemary.”

“Are there Legos?”

“Yup.”

Kyle’s eyes lit up, and he ran off into the hallway.

“Thank you,” Lenora muttered.

“Why are y’all here?”

“We were in town, for some business and vacation.”

“How’d ya get my number?”

“Darlene,” Charlie answered, scratching the back of his neck. “We… I came to apologize, Scott.”

Scott held back a chuckle. He must have been joking. Charlie never apologized for anything, even if he knew he was in the wrong. A common trait he shared with their mother.

“Cut the bullshit, why are you here?”

“I’m not kidding.” There was no sign of humor on his face. He sighed and rubbed his cheeks. “I was always a dick to you, even when we were kids. I went too far from the brotherly teasing. I knew Mom didn’t like you, and I didn’t do anything about it. If anything, I went along with it. You had every right to say that in front of Mom and Dad. God knows I needed it. I’m fucking 30, it’s time I grow up.”

Scott didn’t say anything. 

His only brother swallowed. “I’m sorry, Scott. And I know there’s a lot I gotta apologize for. You don’t have to forgive me... I mean, we’re not fucking Catholic, but I want you to know. I’ve spent a lotta time rethinking my life’s choices in the last three years.” He grabbed Lenora’s free hand. “I hurt you, and God be damned, you’re my little brother. You’ve always been.” 

Charlie had never spoken to him like this. Never. In all of Scott’s almost 27 years, Charlie had always been his dickish yet endearing older brother. Emphasis on dickish. He would never tell Scott that he was in the wrong. That he was an asshole. That he had fucked up. 

But there he was. Saying shit Scott wouldn’t have even imagined him saying. And he was fucking serious too. 

Scott blinked. “I… I don’t know what to say.” He rubbed his hands on his jean-covered thighs, looking at the space between where Charlie and Lenora were sitting. Slowly, he forced himself to look at his brother directly. 

Charlie sat still, his leg bouncing out of anticipation or nerves. His face was plain, excluding the contorted grimace on his mouth.

Seeing his brother so uncomfortable made Scott realize that his brother had changed from the man at that dinner three years ago. If his brother could mature, then Scott could put aside his pettiness and mature too. 

“You’re not the only dickhead brother,” he finally said as Ava fussed in Lenora’s arms. “If you can offer to make amends, then fuck, so can I. I’m not a petty teenager,” he stated sincerely, holding his hand out to his brother. “I wouldn’t mind having family again.”

Charlie grinned and took his hand firmly. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He glanced at Lenora. “What did you do? Why is he so nice?”

Lenora giggled and rolled her eyes. “I didn’t think you’d be this calm about it.”

“I’m a bit high,” he admitted. “Can’t ya smell the weed? But I’d say the same thing sober.” Maybe, he added but didn’t say it out loud. “A lotta shit has happened.” I’m in love with a depressed married man, I might be having one or two kids with his wife-

“Of course you are,” Charlie replied, interrupting his thoughts and pulling his hand away. The sad, tired look was gone, replaced with relief instead. 

Scott laughed. He could feel the awkwardness slowly melt away from the air, settling into a relaxed mood. He felt good, and shit, he was ready to forget the past and move on. “Y’all want drinks? Food?”

“You sure?”

The blond stood up. “I have a great liquor collection and pasta leftovers if you don’t mind that.”

“That’d be great,” Lenora piped. 

They moved to the table, eating pasta with some Italian red wine. Scott offered one of the guest rooms to have Ava sleep while the adults could finally be alone. (Kyle was too occupied by all his cousin’s toys to eat.)

“How’s home?” Scott finally asked when the slow but steady conversation had grown more comfortable.

Lenora frowned. “Claire refuses to even mention your name. When she does, it’s ‘He was horrid’ or some other bullshit. Had your old bedroom locked up and wrote you out of the will almost immediately. Your father was upset about that. He misses you, though you hurt him. He won’t risk Claire’s wrath though.”

He sighed. 

“I guess it’s given Mom the chance to finally voice her true opinions about you,” Charlie added, taking a sip of his wine.

“I wish Dad hadn’t married her.”

“I’m starting to feel the same way,” he admitted. “It’s gotten old.”

“But enough about your bitch of a mother. Considering you’re notoriously private about your personal life in the media, I haven’t been able to keep up much with you.” She pushed up her glasses and smiled.

He shrugged. “Rosie’s great. Beth remarried, and they had a daughter last year. Paying child support sucks, and she still won’t let me increase custody time, but I get to have her for the whole summer. I’m excited about that.

My album comes out next month. It’s my favorite album out of everything I’ve made. It’s my masterpiece… I know that sounds pretentious.”

“It does.” Lenora looked amused. 

“You seeing anyone? A guy—sorry, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that.”

“It’s fine.” Scott swallowed and sighed. “…It’s complicated.”

Charlie raised a brow. “Why?”

Scott wanted to laugh. “I… uh might be having another kid.“

The couple’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“Or two,” he muttered.

Lenora looked baffled. “You’re gay.” 

Scott swallowed and chuckled nervously. “I don’t know what I am anymore,” he admitted quietly, an image of Jennifer popping into his head. “I was sure I wasn’t attracted to women, but now-” He paused. “I haven’t said this out loud before.”

“Did you meet someone?” Charlie asked.

“Yes and no.”

“You gonna explain or not?”

Scott scoffed. “Last tour I was on, I saw this guy who had a great ass, and I was like shit, who cares if he’s ugly, that’s an amazing ass. I went up to them and just straight up opened with a really dirty pickup line, like one if the other person’s into it, you’d look pretty stupid if you suddenly backed out.”

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded.

Lenora still looked confused. “Your point?”

“So he turns around and turns out he’s a she, just had short hair. And she was totally into the fact that Scott Stern had straight up asked if she wanted to fuck.”

“You could have said you changed your mind.”

“Yeah, but it would have seemed poor taste on my part, and she was like Chinese too, and I didn’t want to seem racist, suddenly rejecting her because I saw her face. Plus, I’d rather not have the world know I like men. And I was really drunk too.”

Lenora pursed her lips. “I see.”

“We went back to her apartment, and I just told myself that I’d pretend she was a guy, but I found myself enjoying it. Being with her. Then October happened.”

“What happened in October?”

“Had a threeway with the guy I’ve been having an affair with off-and-on 4 years and his now wife. She’s pregnant with twins. Don’t know who the father is. …Or fathers.”

Charlie put his hand over his eyes and sighed, “Dear lord.” He looked horrified. 

Lenora took off her glasses and wiped them on her shirt. “You’re still with the person you cheated on your ex-wife with?”

“Well, we stopped cause of guilt and didn’t see each other for 18 months. He got back with his ex-girlfriend. Then we reunited… yeah.” He scratched the back of his head. “My life has gotten very complicated recently.”

“No shit,” she mused. She was taking this information much better than Charlie was. 

“I know I’m a whore before you say anything.”

His brother scoffed. “You’re halfway to being the Whore of Babylon.”

“What are they like?”

“They’re both great. He’s amazing. She’s wonderful. Much more supportive than she should be. Actually, she’s on the cover of The Queen of Sheba.”

“Was that before or after you got her pregnant?”

“Before,” he answered. Literally the day of, he wanted to say, but Scott decided he should keep that to himself. 

Scott also decided to not say it’d been Ronnie who he cheated on Beth with. That was a bombshell for another day. Although he had offered them the guest room, Charlie and Lenora insisted on staying in their hotel room. Not to overstep, they had said. He was glad they’d said no now, giving him time to reflect on what had happened. 

He stood on his bedroom balcony, alone again, watching the sunset against the Big Apple. It had been three weeks since he had done cocaine. He was proud of himself. Now he and his brother were talking again. Somehow, he’d fixed up his life without rehab. 

Scott went back inside and picked up the framed photograph on his nightstand. It was from Ronnie and Jennifer’s wedding, Jennifer standing between the two of them, a warm smile on her face. Ronnie was smiling in the photo too, but Scott could tell it was forced, though he only knew that from being around the man for so long. 

Ronnie wasn’t well. He knew that. It hurt, having to watch him look so miserable all the time. It hurt more that he was too much of a coward to tell him he loved him. Ronnie had been there for him in the past. He should do the same. Instead, he stood idly on the corner, merely watching. He knew Jennifer felt the same at least, considering she’d told him just as much. 

Setting the photo back down, Scott yawned. Jennifer would have the twins in July, less than three months away. Maybe then he’d finally confront his fledgling feelings for her.

Notes:

Scott's story is kinda funny to me bc in today's world, he would have been able to get out of the situation quite easily, but since he was famous and didn't want to seem like an asshole, closeted, and drunk/high (so the thought of backing off didn't even occur to him, AND it was the 70s... yeah it's funny.

Chapter 107: Kids (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Jennifer goes into labor as Ronnie grows worse

CW: childbirth (much more detailed than previous chapters but nothing at all graphic), usage of queer in og slur context, depressed/suicidal thoughts, discussion of accidental incest (distant—Jennifer's tribe is small, it's bound to happen), my man ronnie has a pretty disturbing nightmare,

Notes:

happy march!

I did lots of research on the Omaha's society and names and myths and stuff :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 107: Kids

 

Thursday, June 22nd, 1978, Bayside, Queens, New York



Scott couldn’t believe how large Jennifer’s stomach was. None of her nor his nor Ronnie’s shirts fit her anymore, leaving her stuck in huge granny dresses, which she hated. She couldn’t see her own feet, and when he was over, she made him pick up her stomach for a few moments of relief. He didn’t mind. It was the least he could do as she approached her due date, only three weeks away now. 

“Are you glad school’s over?” He asked, stepping on the stepping stool to put up the white curtains Jennifer’s mother had bought for the nursery.

She leaned on one of the cribs and sighed. “Yes. I should have left for maternity leave sooner, but I wanted to see my seniors graduate. Plus one last paycheck for the summer.”

“You know in Europe, maternity leave is paid.”

Jennifer smiled sarcastically. “Well, gotta love the land of the free and home of the brave. I don’t get paid in the summer regardless.”

“Will you take the first few weeks of school off?”

She shook her head. “No, New York doesn’t start until after Labor Day, hence why the last day of school was yesterday. I got almost two months with the babies, she explained, rubbing her belly. “Bills are gonna be tight with just Ronnie working, now with four kids.”

“I don’t mind helping out with that. I should regardless.”

Jennifer frowned. “Don’t tell Ronnie. You know how he is about money.”

“Yeah.” He stepped off the mini ladder. “I’ll write a check for 200 when we break for lunch.”

“Even if Ronnie doesn’t appreciate it, I do. A lot.”

“How is he?”

She sighed, her eyebrows furrowing together. “He doesn’t talk to me. I’ll be lucky if I get more than ten words from him during dinner. Benjamin’s starting to notice his father’s behavior. Just adds more stress to this.”

“We had lunch together last week. He was drunk. Smelled like a bar.”

“I think he’s been skipping work. You need to be in a bar for a while before you start to smell like one.”

“We sho-” 

Jennifer suddenly groaned painfully, doubling over and clutching her body.

Scott touched her shoulder. “What happened?”

Breathing shallowly, Jennifer stood back up, her eyes wide with panic. “I think that was a contraction.”

“Uh, fuck—aren’t you three weeks early?”

“I am having fucking twins, Scott.”

“Sorry, shit,” he muttered, combing his hands through his hair. He was not prepared for this. “Shannon!”

She was staying for the summer to help out with the kids while Mary took Valentina to get minor surgery in the hopes it’d help her live a bit longer. The 16 year old walked into the room, her bobbed black hair swaying as she stepped inside.

“What?”

“You need to stay here and keep an eye on Rosie, Benjamin, and August.”

Her eyes widened, turning to Jennifer, who took deep breaths. “Are you going into labor?”

“What do you think?” The heavily pregnant woman snapped, causing Shannon to step back.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s a crazy pregnant lady.”

“Scott, I swear to God—oh fuck, that hurts!” She yelped, clutching to one of the cribs with both hands.

He quickly took six twenties from his wallet and handed them to Shannon. “For pizza and my goodwill.”

She stared in awe at the money.

“Now, I’m gonna take her to the hospital, and I’ll need you to call Ronnie. He’ll know which hospital we’re going to. After, call your mom and Jennifer’s parents.”

Shannon nervously nodded as he left the room to grab Jennifer’s purse, his car keys, and the hospital bag she had packed just in case of early labor a few days before. Benjamin came out of the basement with his brother and cousin, looking confused as he watched Scott run around, grabbing stuff.

“What’s happening?”

“Uh, we think your mom is gonna have the babies soon.”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

Jennifer walked down the stairs slowly, huffing and groaning loudly.

“Hey, let me help,” he muttered, grabbing her hand and guiding her down carefully. 

The kids quietly watched as Shannon stood behind them, the twenties still in her hand. It didn’t occur to Scott until later that that was probably the most money she’d ever held in her life. 

He turned to his daughter and her cousins. “Be good. Please.”

All of them nodded. 

Scott helped Jennifer into the passenger seat of his Camaro, ignoring the shaking in his hands. He could do this. He had to. 

The last time I drove a pregnant lady to the hospital was Beth, and she miscarried, he thought as he drove onto the main road.

“Scott?” Jennifer asked, her teeth clenched, making him realize he’d said it aloud.

“...Yes?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

The waiting room of the emergency room was packed, only making Jennifer more anxious, which put her in more pain. He could tell a few people recognized him but left him alone. Maybe they sensed how stressed he was or that he was with a heavily pregnant six foot tall woman, and as much as he knew Jennifer hated it, she stuck out like a sore thumb most places she went. 

The receptionist said it would be another three hours before a bed opened for Jennifer.

Scott, annoyed and frustrated, clenched his fist. “Jesus Christ, just get us a private room.”

“Who’s gonna pay for that?” She whimpered. 

He turned to her. “Me.”

“Oh.”

They waited another twenty minutes before Scott debated about bribing the receptionist or a nurse before a wheelchair arrived for Jennifer. He knew he should stop immediately resorting to bribery when he wanted something. A shame it usually worked. 

The hospital room was bigger than the hospital room Beth had Rosie in. It paid to be famous sometimes. There was a couch on the left side and a door to a private bathroom on the right side. There were two small tables on each side, both made of dull, grey metal.

Ronnie walked into the room just as Scott helped Jennifer tie the thin hospital gown she now wore. His tie was loose, and there was energy around him Scott hadn’t seen in months, though he suspected it was only due to the impending babies. 

She paced around the room slowly, complaining and moaning while they spoke to Dr. Thomas Nelson, who’d just arrived. He looked at the two amused, and Scott knew that he knew about their little threeway. 

“She’s about three centimeters dilated.”

Ronnie bit his thumb. “How much more to go?”

Thomas frowned. “Seven.”

“Oh, fuck this,” Jennifer exclaimed, sitting down on the couch.

“Time her contractions,” the doctor advised. “I have two other patients also in labor today,” he added before leaving. 

“Eight minutes,” Ronnie said, looking at his watch as Jennifer winced in pain, groaning. He looked sympathetic. “Do you want anything, Jen?”

“Coffee? Sandwich?” Scott offered.

She shook her head.

He sighed. “You need water.”

“No. No water. I’m fine.”

It took both of them to get her to drink a glass of water. Then began the game of waiting. Watching as the time between each contraction grew smaller was painful. Every groan, whimper, and wince from Jennifer made Scott feel god awful and more nervous as time went on. Rosie wasn’t anything like this.

He tried to keep the conversation going as a distraction, but by the time five hours had passed, and she was about seven centimeters, contractions every three minutes, the room was silent other than Jennifer.

Scott decided to give the couple alone time while he went to the hospital’s payphone and called Shannon.

“Hello?”

“It’s Scott.”

She sighed. “Oh, good. How’s Jennifer? Have the twins been born yet?”

“No, she can’t start pushing until 10 centimeters, and as of five minutes ago, she’s at seven.”

“Yikes.”

“How’re the kids?”

“Happy about the pizza, but tired and excited about the babies.”

He smiled. “Of course.”

“Oh, Jennifer’s mom said she'll be there by tomorrow afternoon, and her dad and my mom will be there the day after.”

“Okay, that’s good.”

“Can I ask you an invasive question?”

He swallowed. “Uh… sure.”

“Did you cheat on my sister?”

“That is an invasive question.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.”

The teenager sighed into the phone. “Was it with Ronnie?”

Scott stared at the floor. 

Shannon continued. “I’m taking the silence as a yes, Scott. I mean, why else would you be at the hospital with them both? Other people may not notice it, but I’ve overheard Valentina, and she knows a lot more than she lets on. Are you like dating them both or something?”

He gulped and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Honestly, Shannon? I don’t know, and that’s the truth. I don’t know anything about jackshit anymore.”

“...I can relate to being unsure of myself about anything,” she admitted quietly, just above a whisper. 

“We can talk more about this if you want, but for now, let’s keep this between ourselves, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks,” he muttered before hanging up. 

He walked back to the hospital room, his heart beating rapidly, hoping he didn’t look visibly shaken. A part of him still saw Shannon as the eight year old little girl he’d met all those years ago. Now she was a teenager who liked the Sex Pistols and The Clash. And apparently knew much more than she showed. 

Jennifer looked calmer than when he had left the room. She was sitting on the hospital bed while Ronnie was standing by the now opened window, smoking.

“You’re bold for smoking in a hospital.”

He turned, putting out his cigarette and tossing it out the window. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Scott smiled and rolled his eyes.

Jennifer looked at both of them. “What are we?”

He scoffed. “Good question.”

They both glanced at Ronnie, who looked away. “I don’t know.”

“Shannon says your mom is coming tomorrow, and your dad and Mary the next day.”

She nodded. “How are the kids?”

“Anxious and overtired.”

“Oh, so like me?”

He smiled. “Yeah.”

Ronnie sat down, staring off into space, something Scott noticed he did quite often. He looked dead on the inside.

“Are you okay?”

The older man looked up. “Just tired,” he muttered, blinking.

Scott pursed his lips, exchanging a look with Jennifer as he sat next to Ronnie. “Do you want us to be there during the birth?”

Jennifer nodded. “I have two hands.”

Ronnie smiled at that. “Better hope they come out before our parents get here cause then it’d be hard to explain why Scott’s here.”

“That is true. I think your mom already thinks I hang out with my ex-brother-in-law and his wife much more than what’s considered normal.”

“I wonder what Beth thinks,” Ronnie admitted.

“Oh, she thinks you guys are fucking again, but she won’t say anything, only gives you disgusting looks when you’re not looking or thinks I’m not looking.”

Scott bit back a laugh. “Explaining this will be funny in the future.”

“Yea—ohfuckshit, that hurts like a bitch,” she yelped, clenching her fists. 

Both men stood up and rushed over.

“Hopefully, it’ll be ten centimeters soon,” the blond soothed.

“I hope so. I’m getting fucking tired of waiting.”

By soon, Jennifer’s body meant two more excruciating hours before she was finally ten centimeters dilated, with contractions every 30 seconds. There were nurses all over the room now as Dr. Nelson put on gloves. Jennifer was lying on the bed, knees apart. They forced him and Ronnie to wear surgeon gowns. He sat on her left while Ronnie stood by her right. 

“Okay, Jennifer,” Dr. Nelson said calmly, “you’re starting to crown now, and the epidurals should be working now, so when the next contraction comes, I’m gonna need you to push.”

She nodded weakly, gripping Scott’s and Ronnie’s hands tightly. “You know what’s funny?” She muttered.

“What?” Scott asked.

Jennifer laughed weakly. “I’m about to give birth, and I’m surrounded by a bunch of queers.”

Her doctor rolled his eyes. 

Watching someone give birth was equally awe-inspiring and terrifying. Scott didn’t even know it could stretch that far. He wished that she didn’t have to go through all that pain. It made him wince just watching. 

The first baby was born in the early hours of June 23rd, just as the sun began to rise. He heard a baby cry and knew at once he’d love them for the rest of his life. 

“A baby girl,” the nurse announced as Jennifer laughed weakly. “Big one too.”

“And here comes the fucking sun,” she sang in a warbly voice.

Scott laughed.

Thomas looked calmer than he did a few minutes ago as he turned back to Jennifer. “Okay, we still got your baby boy to go, but it’s gonna be easier.”

She started crying, shaking her head. “No, I can’t. I can’t. It’s too hard, and I’m tired,” she cried. 

Ronnie put his hand on her face. “Hey, we’re right here, baby. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’ll let you kick me in the balls when you recover,” Scott offered, semi-serious.

At that, she giggled, panting loudly. “Really?”

“Yeah, but we gotta make sure the baby’s okay, and there's no placenta left behind.”

Ronnie kissed her temple. “I love you.”

The boy was born 15 minutes later, with lots of encouragement from everyone in the room. Jennifer gave one last push to expel the afterbirth before collapsing. Both men immediately went to check on her. She was pale and breathing weakly. 

“Will she be alright?” Ronnie asked, not letting go of her hand.

“Yes. Don’t worry, it’s normal, especially after having twins naturally.” He looked over to the nurses, who were cutting the umbilical cords and weighing the babies. “Would you two like to hold them before we take them to be cleaned?”

“Yes,” they said at the same time. 

They gave Scott the boy. He was far bigger than when Rosie had been a newborn, with a small tuft of black hair. He glanced at the baby girl in Ronnie’s arms and decided he didn’t care who the biological father was. He’ll love both of them. His twins. Their twins. 

They took the babies away to be cleaned and sent them to the nursery while Jennifer healed. Ronnie and Scott left the room, dazed and exhausted, walking around until they found a lounge area and passed out on one of the couches. 

 

***

 

Ronnie woke up with a sudden jump, gasping. How long had they been asleep? He glanced at his watch. Three hours. Scott was still passed out in the chair next to him. He decided to wake him up.

Scott jolted awake. “What? How long were we asleep?”

“Three hours.”

He scowled. “Then why the fuck did you wake me up?”

“I wanna see them. We only got to hold them for a minute.”

Scott yawned and stretched his arms, standing up. “We should probably do a paternity test while we’re at it.”

They left the lounge to look for the nursery, and Ronnie felt drained of all of the energy he had prior. He wanted to sleep, though he knew he’d only be graced with nightmares. 

“You are a whore and bastard,” Nguyệt, appearing next to him, muttered. She looked angry. “You are replacing our son with those two children. I hope they are terrible to raise and cause you more hell than I do.”

Ignore her, just ignore her, he told himself, stepping closer to Scott, who was asking a nurse for directions. 

Nguyệt laughed harshly. “Ignore me? You keep telling yourself that, tình yêu của tôi.” 

My love. That was what his mother called him in Irish. It sounded mocking coming from her. 

“Here we are,” Scott announced, stopping in front of a window.

There were about a dozen newborns in the room, with two nurses walking around idly inside, checking and feeding them. He couldn’t see the twins.

“There,” Scott pointed at two babies at the end. “Stern or McKittrick A and Stern or McKittrick B.” He smiled. “They’re cute. Also pink. I assumed they’d be closer to Jennifer’s skin tone.”

“They’ll get darker in the next few days. Benjamin was pretty pale when he was born.

Scott nodded before his eyes narrowed, and his mouth fell. “Is her hair blonde?”

That got Ronnie’s attention. “What?” He stared at his daughter, and sure enough, now that she was cleaned up and swaddled, he could see dark blonde hair on her head. Not as much hair as her younger brother, but it was enough to note the color. “Shit, it is.”

For a moment, all Ronnie felt was confusion. So confused that he blocked out everything else around him. In high school, he’d taken Advanced Biology his junior year because it was the only class he knew his spawn of Satan teacher Mrs. Fueller didn’t teach. “Uh… I may have only gotten an 80 in Advanced Biology because I cheated on the final exam, but I know enough about Punnett squares to know that kid should not have blonde hair.”

Scott rubbed the back of his neck. “What the fuck?” He glanced at the boy. “He has black hair.”

They both turned back to the girl. 

“We should talk to Jennifer,” he said quietly.

“Yeah…”

There was an older nurse outside of the hospital room, writing notes down on a clipboard. She looked up at them. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Jennifer McKittrick’s husband,” he began, trying for a smile he knew looked fake.

“Oh, congratulations. Are they your first?”

“Her first, but I have two little boys.”

“Well, honey, she’s lost quite a bit of blood, but she’s okay and is up now if you came to see her.”

“Thanks.”

Jennifer was sitting up, using a hospital-grade breast pump. When she saw them, she smiled tiredly. “I don’t like this thing. And being away from my babies.”

“We just saw them,” Scott told her. “They’re okay, and you can probably have them brought here in a few hours.”

She nodded, her eyes beginning to water. “I didn’t get to hold them.” She wiped her face. “What do they look like?”

Ronnie looked down. “The girl’s blonde.”

Jennifer looked as confused as they had been. “What?”

“Yeah, we’re confused too,” Scott added. 

She sat there for a minute, deep in thought. “...I’m 1/16th French. Why my mom’s maiden name is Rousseau. One of my great-great-great-grandfathers was a French man with blond hair. I guess by pure luck, I happened to get the recessive gene.”

“Does that mean she’s Scott’s?”

“No, because you can have blonde-haired kids too since your mom’s blonde.”

Scott uncrossed his arms. “Wait… 1/16th means great-great-grandparent. You said three greats. That’s 1/32nd.”

Jennifer grimaced. “Did I tell you what my mom told me and my sister?"

Ronnie swallowed, looking away from Nguyệt in the corner, who he’d been staring at. “...No?”

“She said she’d prefer that we married outside of our tribe.”

The Texan yawned. “That’s weird.”

“Well, while she was pregnant with my sister, she decided to make a family tree based on oral traditions and written records. That’s how she found out that two of her great great grandparents were also his.

Ronnie sat down. “They’re related?”

“That makes them third cousins, right?”

“Yes. Naturally, she did not tell my father and swore my sister and me to secrecy. She yawned. “The Omaha, we’re a small tribe, not like the Cherokee or Navajo. At one point in the early 1800s, there weren’t even 300 of us. I’m related to most of my people, if not all.

Our society used to be ruled by two half-tribes, the Sky People and Earth People, each led by a chief. There were five clans in each half-tribe, so the Sky People were in charge of the tribe’s spiritual needs, and the Earth People were in charge of the tribe’s physical welfare. My parents are both descended from the Earth People, and back then, you married people from other clans, not from your own. That being said, my parents both come from two of the same clans and knew that they were probably fifth cousins or something to that degree, but didn’t realize they were that closely related.”

“That’s really cool,” Ronnie admitted. 

“I read some books talking about that,” Scott mused.

Jennifer looked touched. “You did?”

He grinned sheepishly. “I bought some books on Plains Tribes and your people, thought it’d be good to know if my child will be one of them.”

“Fun fact, because kinship is patrilineal in the Omaha, if we had all existed and fucked like 150 years ago, our children wouldn’t belong to any clan unless they were adopted by a man of the tribe. But back to my point, my mother didn't want us to risk genetic problems due to accidental incest.”

“Oh my god,” Ronnie mumbled. 

She looked at them sternly. “You do not tell my father anything.”

They nodded.

“At least it’s not second or first cousins,” Scott remarked.

Jennifer sighed. “Good thing Ronnie can have blonde kids or then we’d have a problem.”

“Yeah.”

She stretched her arms. “We need to talk about names.”

“Well, we agreed that you pick them.” Ronnie closed his eyes. So tired.  

“Georgia is gonna be her middle name, right? After your mom?”

Jennifer turned off the breast pump and handed the two bottles to Scott. “Can you take those?”

He nodded and left quietly.

Ronnie reached out and took her hand as she closed her eyes. He felt so tired. 

“You okay, baby?”

“I should be asking that.”

“My vagina tore, but that’s to be expected with twins. Almost makes me never want to have sex again. She opened her eyes. “Too bad I’m a slut.”

“You need to rest.”

“I want my babies.”

“You’ll see them soon,” he whispered.

Jennifer was asleep when Scott walked back into the room. “They’ll bring them in about two hours.” He sat down next to Ronnie. “Called the house and gave the news. Mary called and said a lightning storm delayed their flight, so she and Jack won’t be here for three days.”

Ronnie nodded, resting his head on Scott’s shoulder.

“They gave me the blood types. Blondie is A-positive, and Baby Boy is O-positive.”

“Well, Jennifer and I are both O-positive, meaning she’s biologically yours.

“I know.” He wrapped his arm around him. “I don’t care if he’s not biologically mine. They’re both our kids.”

“I agree,” he replied quietly, and he meant it, closing his eyes and drifting back into sleep.

The dream was pleasant for once. Ronnie was sitting in his basement, which was used as a game room/guest room, holding Benjamin when he was a newborn. He was wrapped in the knitted green blanket Valentina’s mother had sent for August, sleeping soundly. 

He rocked him slowly, a wave of peace washing over him. He would take advantage of his dream and let his troubles float away, just him and his eldest. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

He heard footsteps. Opening an eye, he saw his first wife in front of him. She didn’t look angry, smiling warmly at their son. Carefully, she took the baby from his arms, her warm smile melting away.

Suddenly, she was sitting on the couch with three babies on her lap. They looked like the twins and August when he was a newborn. She stared at him sternly as his heart started beating faster. “There is only one.” She shoved the pillow over their faces as Ronnie leaped and tried to take it away from her. “Our baby,” she stated firmly, her empty eyes staring into his soul.

Ronnie woke up gasping, sitting up. Both Scott and Jennifer turned their heads. In her lap were the twins, and she was breastfeeding them.

“You okay?”

“Are the kids okay?” He immediately asked.

Scott cocked his head. He was sitting at the foot of Jennifer’s hospital bed. “Yeah, why?”

He rubbed his face. “Nothing.”

Jennifer stroked their tiny heads. “We’ve been discussing names.”

Ronnie nodded, yawning. “Got ideas?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe an M middle name for him after your mother.”

“She already has Rosemary named for her,” Scott countered.

“True. And my father’s oldest grandchild’s name is literally Jack, so.” She rubbed her eye. “I like your middle name, Ronnie.”

“Patrick?”

“Yeah, and it would make your mother happy, another Irish name. He looks like a Patrick too.”

“After me?” Ronnie mumbled. He didn’t deserve that. “Maybe we should call him Reginald, after Scottie here.”

Scott scowled. “Fuck off.”

“Wasn’t Patrick your grandfather’s name?”

“The tall one, yeah.” He glanced at Scott. “I only met him twice, mostly since he didn’t like my dad, which was very reasonable in my opinion, but I think he was like 6’5. Was in the original IRA.”

“Damn.” He turned back to Jennifer. “Are we naming him after an Irish nationalist?”

She smirked, rubbing Patrick’s head. “I think so.” 

“What about middle names?”

“I wanted to talk about that.” She swallowed. “I would like our children to have Omaha names. It’s their culture, and as soon as we’re able, we need to go back home to register them for tribal citizenship at the Indian Affairs office on the reservation.”

Scott nodded. “I agree. They’re also Omaha—do you have an Omaha name?”

Jennifer shook her head. “No. Neither does my sister. My mother had a dream while pregnant with Pamela of Deer Woman, a spirit of fertility and love, protector of women and children. The dream was a warning that if we had true names, bad spirits would steal us away, so we must hide with white names and whatever.” She glanced at them. “You two may not believe in that spiritual stuff, but my Aunt Diane, who has dreams like that quite often, and my maternal grandmother also had the same dream.”

“I’ve heard too many stories from your grandmother to not take those to heart,” Ronnie muttered. “Mom’s the most Catholic woman ever, but she avoids rings of mushrooms like the plague. She sees one and will walk away, even here.”

Scott nodded. “What do you have in mind?”

She smiled. “My father had a dream about a white buffalo grazing as the sun rose. The dawn of a new day and the white buffalo, something my people once kept sacred. Little missy here was born at sunrise, and I think he’s our little white buffalo. Donoma means the sight of the sun, and Tethon means white buffalo. Donoma was also my paternal grandmother’s name.”

Scott looked fascinated. “How do you spell them?”

“D-O-N-O-M-A and T-E-T-H-O-N.”

“They’re beautiful,” Ronnie whispered. He meant it. 

“Donoma Georgia and Patrick Tethon?” Scott offered.

She nodded. “I think so,” she whispered, watching them sleep in her lap.

Ronnie noticed Scott moved closer, and he was holding her hand. They both looked happy, though exhausted. 

Scott coughed. “Ya know I’m sober? Been off coke for nearly three months.”

Jennifer smiled. “I’m happy for you.”

Ronnie looked away. He was not sober. Honestly, right now? He needed a drink. He itched for one. He fucking hated himself for it. Nguyệt stood behind Jennifer, watching Donoma and Patrick, singing a Vietnamese nursery rhyme she used to sing for Benjamin. At least here, she couldn’t harm them. 

He sat back and rubbed his face again. “Hopefully, no one will ask about the different last names.”

They both laughed, but Ronnie could see concerned looks in their eyes. After another minute of silence, Scott made eye contact with him. 

“Ronnie, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fucking wonderful. I have two beautiful newborns along with my two sons. I’m married, and right now, I’m with the people I… care most about in the world.”

Nguyệt looked up. “Then why do you want to kill yourself?”

He looked down as he stood up. “I gotta… take a leak,” he muttered, leaving the room before either of them could say anything.

The bathroom was small, sterile, and empty. He walked to the sink and stopped, staring at himself in the mirror. A pair of dark blue eyes and purple bags underneath stared back.

God, I fucking hate you, he told himself. You don’t deserve anything. You should be happy. Why can’t you tell Scott you love him as much as you love Jennifer?

He looked away, afraid his reflection would reply, and went into one of the stalls, slamming and locking it shut. He bit his lip hard, tasting blood as he sat on the toilet.

“I fucking hate myself,” he half-whimpered, half-whispered as tears began to slide down his cheek. “I don’t deserve any of this. I-I should’ve died in that fucking cell,” he cried, his voice breaking as he trembled.

“So selfish,” Nguyệt’s voice uttered somewhere in the bathroom.

He didn’t argue with her.

Notes:

six twenties is 550.62 today (damn)

Chapter 108: Burning Summer (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Beth visits and to her disgust, realizes Scott and Ronnie are likely continuing their affair as she worries about Laurie’s reaction to another child

CW: Homophobia, depression/depressed character, alcohol abuse, encouragement of self-hatred/suicide and abuse (y'all can probably figure out who), usage of homophobic slur, mention of terminal illness, brief description of past graphic death,

Notes:

next week is spring break for me yay

 

translations in end notes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 108: Burning Summer

 

Friday, June 30th, 1978, Queens, New York City, New York



“Mommy!” Rosie cheered, shaking Beth out of her trance.

She blinked hard and saw Scott and her daughter standing in the corner of the baggage claim, Scott wearing a hat and sunglasses to blend in with the crowd. She smiled. It had been over a month since she last saw her eldest daughter. But Scott was a surprise. What was he doing here?

In her arms, Laura sneezed, reaching up to touch her mother’s earring. Beth jerked her head back. “No, we don’t pull at people’s earrings.”

Laura looked undeterred, putting her thumb in her mouth. 

Beth sighed, smiling as she walked over to her ex-husband.

It had been odd traveling alone with just Laura, Laurie not arriving until the third, and Rosie with her father all summer. She was excited to meet her brother’s twins, a beautiful boy and girl from Mary’s accounts.

“Mommy!” Rosie cheered again, running over to hug her mother’s legs tightly.

“Hello, darling,” she greeted, carefully bending over to kiss the blonde’s head. 

Rosie looked at her sister. “Laura!” She yelled, smiling widely.

Beth was surprised. Rosie wasn’t normally this publicly cheerful. She glanced back at Scott. “Why are you here? Thought I’d take a taxi.”

He shrugged. “I was going over there anyway, and Rosie was excited to see her sister and mother.”

“Why were you going over there?”

“No need to be accusatory. They just had twins. Someone needs to keep the boys entertained.” He ruffled his daughter’s hair. “Besides, Rosie likes having her cousins to play with.”

“Explains why she’s acting like Benjamin.”

He smirked. “Plus, I’m not doing anything this summer.”

“Don’t you do festivals?”

“Not this summer. I wanna spend the whole time with my little girl.”

“Didn’t you have an album that just came out?”

“I’ve made sure all the album promotions don’t require me to leave New York.”

Although his words spoke kind sentiments, Beth was wary of them. Scott loved performing. He wouldn’t mind having someone watch Rosie for a day or two or even bring her along. Deep in her mind, however, she wondered, disgusted, if he was only doing it because of her brother.

Beth winced when she saw Scott’s black Camaro waiting for them in the parking lot. It looked exactly the same since the last time she’d seen it. Not a single scratch, waxed and polished to perfection. She wondered if he did it himself. Probably not.

Scott noticed and frowned. “Uh… sorry,” he muttered, walking over to his trunk to put Beth’s suitcases in the back.

She didn’t reply, making a point to sit in the back with her girls. They drove quietly, Scott not bothering to turn on the radio or speak. When he did finally talk, it was as they pulled up into her brother’s driveway.

“I need to mention something,” he said as he grabbed her three suitcases out of his trunk. “And you may not listen ‘cause it’s coming from me, but give me a minute before we go inside.”

Beth nodded. “Fine.”

“Ronnie’s… not himself. He’s been dealing with severe depression for quite a bit.”

She looked for any signs that he was lying. For once, Scott looked deathly serious. 

“He’ll probably try to act that he is better than he actually is, which makes things worse because it only exhausts him further and makes him feel wor—sorry, I’m rambling.”

“I'll keep it in mind,” she answered, walking toward the front door. He looked frantic talking. She didn’t like that.

Scott knocked on the door and a few seconds later was greeted by Benjamin, which took Beth off guard. Scott just scoffed.

“Every time, man. It’s always you.”

“I’m the door person,” he replied promptly before seeing Beth behind him. “Hi, Aunt Beth!”

She smiled, welcoming her nephew and godson into a hug. 

“Can I hold her?”

Beth glanced at Laura in her arms. “Maybe later. Where’s your mom?”

“In her room with Donoma and Patrick. They cry a lot.”

She stepped inside the house and saw August jumping down the stairs with Shannon behind him. 

“Go say hi to your aunt,” her sister urged.

August looked at Beth shyly. “Hello.”

“Hi, honey.” She glanced at Scott. “Where’s Valentina?”

“She had minor surgery and is still recovering, but I think she will arrive tomorrow night.”

“She had surgery? I didn’t know.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t ask.”

Shannon approached them as Beth pulled her into a side hug. It was awkward. She was surprised by that. And by how much Shannon had grown. She looked only a few inches shorter than Jennifer, far taller than Beth.

“Gosh, you’re huge.”

Shannon stared at her sister. “You talk like a Catholic schoolgirl.”

“Uh, well… we are Catholic.

She shrugged and turned to Scott. “Did you get them?”

Scott smirked as he opened his wallet, pulling out two concert tickets. “Two front-row tickets for Blue Öyster Cult on July 16th.”

Shannon grinned. “You’re my favorite person.”

Beth tried to not look upset by this. Her sister’s attitude almost felt insulting, or at least hurtful, and by the looks of it, Shannon probably didn’t care. She put Laura down on the couch with her sister and cousins, putting on a smile. No, she wouldn’t get upset over this.

There was a door creak, and Jennifer came out of her bedroom, wearing a baggy t-shirt, looking utterly exhausted. She glanced at Beth. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she answered cheerfully, “how are you?”

“Utter shit, you?”

Her eyes widened as she looked at the kids. Benjamin popped up from the couch. 

“Shit’s a bad word.”

“Thank you for letting me know.”

He beamed. “You’re welcome.” He turned to his brother and younger cousin. “Let’s go play in the basement.”

“Try not to wake my father,” Jennifer replied, watching the three scamper off. She turned back to Shannon, Scott, and Beth. “The twins are both asleep.”

“I understand. Rosie and Laura were both very loud criers.”

Scott shuddered at the memory. “That girl screamed all hours of the night.”

There were more footsteps, and Beth saw her mother and Jennifer’s mother coming down the stairs. Mary smiled.

“I believe this to be the first time all my children and grandchildren are under the same roof. Well, will be when Ronnie comes home,” she mused, picking up Laura from the couch and kissing Beth’s cheek. 

Jennifer sighed. “I’m gonna miss ya, Mary.”

Beth turned to her mother. “You’re not staying for July 4th?”

“No, I have too many things to do.”

Georgina eyed Scott. “I swear, you practically live here.”

“Oh yeah, the couch has my name on it.”

Beth tried very carefully not to scowl.

Mary cooked dinner and was serving it when Ronnie came home. Scott had been right about him not looking well. It was unsettling how tired he looked. Still, he gave her a smile and a hug, not replying to her question, asking how his day was. 

Jennifer came out with the week-old twins, much larger than Rosie and Laura when they’d been that age. Patrick had a cute tuff of black hair, and Beth could see Jennifer and Georgina’s straight, broad nose on both of them. What surprised her the most was Donoma’s tiny patch of dark blonde hair.

“How is she blonde?”

Georgina looked lovingly at her granddaughter. “One of my great great grandfathers was a blond French man named Jean Rousseau.”

Scott made a face at her response as Beth suddenly felt queasy. 

“How do you know he had blond hair?”

She shrugged. “I found his death certificate.”

The kids ate first so all the adults could eat at the table together. Jack sat next to his wife and Jennifer, while Beth sat between her mother and sister, and Ronnie and Scott sat at the heads. 

Scott talked about being on SNL and all the New York talk shows and that everyone was asking if the woman on the cover was his girlfriend. Beth wanted to laugh.

They talked about Líadan’s baby, a girl named Jodie, who’d been born at the end of May. Apparently, she was a redhead like her mother, and Aunt Moira, who’d been so upset about a baby outside of wedlock, was thinking about moving from Belfast to closer by. 

“I don’t know we’ll be together again, but I want my children to hear this,” Mary began, setting her fork down, “and you two as well,” she gestured to Jack and Georgina. “It was not my choice to come here, most of you know that, and as much as I am glad that my children have had an American upbringing, I miss home. I started thinking about it after I left yer father, but I’ve come to the final decision now. When Shannon graduates high school, I will sell the house and return to Galway.”

Beth’s jaw dropped. Most of the table had similar reactions, even Ronnie and Jack. “What?”

Shannon whipped her head toward her mother. “You’re leaving?!”

“I’ve always had an intention of going back, thought I would when I retire. Why I kept my Irish citizenship. I want to go home, and I hope all of you can understand that.”

“What about your sister, Mary?” Georgina asked.

“Eileen took some convincing, but I promised we would drive and take a nice cruise, so she’ll come with me.” She sighed. “She’s had too much heartbreak here. If she wasn’t so afraid of flying and traveling long distances alone, she would’ve left a long time ago.”

Beth couldn’t fathom her mother leaving. It wasn’t shocking, she supposed, but she never thought her mother would actually do it. She remembered her mother telling her this right before Laurie proposed, but she’d waved it off as a half-baked notion. She was wrong. Her mother was going home. Maybe Laurie would buy his Ford Model A after all.

Scott left with Rosie after dinner. She didn’t want her to go, regretting letting him have the whole summer with her, but she knew fewer children would be better for Jennifer. She and Laura were sleeping in the nursery, as the twins were sleeping in the master bedroom until they slept longer than two hours before feeding.

She had felt queasy the whole evening, and after feeling worse while showering, she puked almost soon as she wrapped herself in a towel, barely making it to the toilet. She coughed and wiped her mouth, hoping she wouldn’t do it again.

She turned to the steam-covered mirror and stood side profile, dropping her towel from her body and putting her hand behind her back. It was small, but there was a bulge under her belly. Normally, she would have attributed it to weight gain, but…

No, Beth told herself. I can’t be. There is no way. Laurie and I have been so careful.

You know you only puke when you’re pregnant, the voice inside her head replied. Not to mention you’re two weeks late.

Beth stared at her stomach longer before picking up her towel from the floor. “Damn it.”

A feeling of worry plagued her mind as she left the bathroom and changed quietly, not to wake up Laura. How would Laurie feel? She recalled him complaining to Ted about kids, saying two were enough, and one wasn’t even his. Had he meant that? 

When she put on her pajamas, she left the nursery to look for her mother and almost ran into her as she opened the door. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she piped out.

Mary smiled. “It’s fine.” She cocked her head. “Are you alright?”

“Can I talk to you?” Beth asked, stepping back inside the bedroom.

Her mother followed her and closed the door. “Is this about what I said during dinner?”

She shook her head, sitting on the makeshift bed. “I think I might be pregnant again.”

Mary nodded as she sat next to her daughter. “You don’t seem excited as you were with Laura.”

Beth looked at her youngest, sleeping in the crib in front of her. “I don’t know how Laurie will feel. I heard him talking, complaining about the girls.”

The older woman sighed. “I think you misheard a conversation, or Laurie was just exaggerating. If you are pregnant, I think he will be happy to have another child.”

“You think so?”

“I canna think of any reason why he wouldn’t be. Can you?”

“No,” Beth admitted. “There’s a lot of stress in this house, and I think maybe I’m being affected by it.”

“I don’t disagree.”

Beth leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder, frowning. What was on her mind was a subject change, but she had to bring it up to someone. “I don’t think Jennifer likes me much,” she whispered. 

Mary sighed, sitting up and turning to her daughter. “Do ya like her?”

Beth looked at the wall. “We were never friends, even as teenagers. I was jealous of her, and I don’t agree with many of the things she believes in.”

“I doubt she believes in the things you do.” Mary yawned. “She’s exhausted, and I doubt the last thing she wants is more people at the house.”

“I shouldn’t have come.”

Mary didn’t dispute her. “I wouldn’t have.”

“But this has been planned for quite some time, and I got the okay from her and Ronnie.”

“That was before she knew she was pregnant with twins.” She smirked. “Grá, I love you, but you are a bit aloof.

Beth gasped. “Mom!”

“Shhh,” she replied, pointing at her granddaughter. “I came to help, and even then, I am leaving tomorrow.”

“With Shannon?”

“No, Shannon is staying for the summer. She was already staying here before Donoma and Patrick were born.”

Beth sighed. “Shannon’s so different.”

“She’s grown up, Beth. You still treat her like she’s 12.”

She frowned, envious. “She likes Ronnie over me.”

Mary looked sympathetic. “Ronnie doesn’t treat her like a child, and he also tries to know what she likes. They’re very similar, and since he took her to that concert in January, he is practically an angel in her eyes.”

“I don’t think you should put Ronnie and the word angel in the same sentence.”

Her mother lightly chuckled. “You should try hanging out with her. You were 16 once too.”

“I know.” She swallowed. “She says I talk like a Catholic schoolgirl. I don’t even know what that means.”

“She’s a teenager, darlin’.”

Beth nodded, leaning on her mother’s shoulder again. “If I am pregnant, I’ll keep it quiet until the twins are a bit older. Maybe in a couple of months.”

“Good idea.”

Beth kissed her mom’s cheek. “Good night.”

Mary smiled and hugged her. “Good night.”

 

Tuesday, July 4th, 1978

 

Ronnie was tired of the constant chatter. His mother was gone, but Laurie and Valentina were there now. Valentina spent most of her time sleeping, and when she was awake, she only spoke to August or Jack, who’d taken a liking to her. Or maybe he pitied her. 

She was only supposed to be there until Friday, when she would return home with Jennifer’s father, preparing for her death. Ronnie didn’t like to think about it, so of course it was the only thought that cursed his mind. 

The only person who hated having more company than him was Jennifer, who seethed that the babies were barely a week old and she still had to entertain company, all because she couldn’t tell Beth no, that July 4th was canceled. Still, the party was smaller than the previous year’s party, though Ronnie was not in the mood for one anyway. Fireworks sounded like hell. He planned to drink until he passed out to avoid hearing them.

Laurie had taken charge of grilling and cooking hotdogs and burgers while Georgina made the side dishes in the kitchen, talking to her daughter and Valentina. Jack stood in the yard, playing with the kids, who were all in their swimsuits, running around in the sprinklers with Toby, who ran around right with them. It’d surprised him how much Jack enjoyed children, treating Benjamin, August, and Rosie like his own grandchildren, which made all the women smile.

Ronnie sat in the corner of the patio, drinking his fourth beer in that sitting. He’d crack open the stronger stuff soon. The anchor on his chest felt like a whale, and he wanted to slam his head against the brick wall until he bled.

“You look so miserable,” Nguyệt taunted, walking behind his chair. “So worthless and pitiful. I can’t believe I loved you.”

He didn’t reply, taking another sip of his beer.

She touched his shoulders. “Coward. If you really had loved me, you’d join me in death, save yourself from the misery you call a life.” Her fingers ran through his hair. “I know you want to, darling.”

Scott, who’d been smoking in the opposite corner, put out his cigarette and walked over, leaning to his ear so only Ronnie could hear. “That’s your fifth beer in this sitting.”

“Fourth,” he corrected.

“Just don’t drink too much. Not in front of the kids. Or your in-laws. Or your sister.”

Ronnie took another sip of his beer. “Fuck off.”

Scott frowned, frustrated. “Fine, but if you touch anything other than beer, I’ll drain every bit of liquor in this house.”

He scoffed, not taking the threat seriously. “What about you?”

“I have my own apartment,” he replied as Beth stepped outside and eyed the two of them. What the fuck did she want?

“Can I talk to you two?” She asked, coming over to them.

Ronnie finished the rest of his beer. “Why?”

“In private?” Her hands were on her hips, and there was a stern expression on her face. 

He already knew what question she would ask by her facial expression alone. He stood up, a wave of dizziness hitting his head as he did. They followed her inside, Jennifer raising a brow. 

Beth stopped in front of the master bedroom, where the twins were sleeping. She crossed her arms, eyes like daggers. She looked disgusted and angry. “I know you two are continuing your disgusting affair,” she spat. “And while Jennifer just had twins? You revolt me, you vile… you vile faggots.”

Scott flinched at the accusation. It only made Ronnie angrier.

“This is my fucking house, Beth, which you are guest in.” He took a step closer. “Call me that again, I dare you.”

Beth stepped away from him, her eyes wide, fists clenched. “I’ll-I’ll tell her. I’ll tell Jennifer.” She smiled bitterly. “And I thought I was such a good sister for not saying anything.”

Scott laughed harshly. “Says the person who outed me to Jennifer.”

“How did you know that?”

“She told me.” He cocked his head, smirking. “What makes you think she doesn’t already know?”

Beth stood there stunned, her face in total shock. “Wha-what?”

“I probably should have told you earlier, but Rosie has another sister. You’ve met her already. Curious to know what Donoma’s last name is? It isn’t McKittrick like her twin brother.”

Her face paled, looking at them both in horror before rushing to leave the hallway. 

“That wasn’t a good idea,” Ronnie murmured. 

“I know. Felt good.”

“She’ll tell people.” 

“No, she won’t. She signed a 15 year gag order when we divorced. She reveals you, that includes me, which is a violation of said gag order.” Scott sighed. “We won’t have to worry until 1990.”

Ronnie frowned. “I haven’t even thought that far ahead.”

Scott’s eyebrows knitted together. “Ever?”

“Ever,” he whispered.

Beth was sitting at the table looking faint when they walked out of the hallway. She didn’t make eye contact. Valentina was standing closer to them, clutching the cane she now used to walk. 

“She look odd.”

“Told her something she didn’t wanna hear,” Scott informed her.

“That you are fucking?”

“Yeah.”

Jennifer, who’d gone outdoors with her mother while Beth was yelling at them, came inside the house. “Can someone help my parents keep an eye on the kids? We need to talk to Valentina.”

Scott nodded. “Sure.” He glanced at Beth, almost sadistically. “Coming, dear ex-wife?”

Beth glared at him as she stood up. 

When the blondes were gone, Jennifer raised a brow at her husband. “What was that about?”

“She called Scott and me vile faggots. So Scott told her all about his daughter, who doesn’t share a last name with her twin brother.”

“She called you guys that?”

He nodded, blinking. 

She scowled. “They’re not coming back here for a while.”

Their bedroom now had two cradles on Jennifer’s side of the bed, where Donoma and Patrick were sleeping soundly, swaddled in thin blankets so they wouldn’t get heat rashes. Both were too tired to keep up with cleaning, so there were dirty clothes all over the floor. He doubted Valentina cared.

She sat down on the foot of the bed, swinging her feet like a child. He sat down next to her, Jennifer on her opposite side, now holding Donoma, who was fussing.

“How much time do you think you have left?” Jennifer asked, pulling up her top to feed her daughter. 

“Two month at best.”

Ronnie felt his throat close up.

“I know we have start process of moving August here, but we must go with details.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to tell him that he isn’t staying for the summer but forever.”

Valentina teared up. “My baby. All of his stuff here now. We finish his room tomorrow.”

Jennifer rubbed Donoma’s head. “How’s Mary taking it?”

“Hard,” she admitted, “but she will be okay. She know I have sickness since August’s birth.” She turned to face Jennifer. “It is lot asking, but I want you adopting August after I die. Please.”

Jennifer wiped her face and nodded. “We’re already in the process of me adopting Benjamin. I… I would love to.”

Valentina burst into tears, whimpering, “I do not want mans mazulis without me!”

Ronnie, who’d been trying so hard to keep it in, felt tears streak his face as he wrapped the mother of his second eldest son in his arms, stroking her back. He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see Nguyệt mocking him. 

 

***

 

The basement was mostly soundproof, and sometimes when everything was too much, Ronnie would come down here, away from the noise. Away from people. Away from everything. 

Scott came down shortly after, sitting on the sofa next to Ronnie. He wasn’t sure why he came down, but truthfully he was glad. He didn’t want to be left alone with Nguyệt.

“Beth and Laurie are leaving tomorrow,” he informed, clearly finding the information amusing.

Ronnie felt relieved. He didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of the afternoon’s revelations. “That horrified?”

“She told Laurie, and then Laurie asked me how that was possible. I asked if he’d ever heard of threesomes.” Scott paused. “I doubt we’ll be seeing them any time soon. Well, they have to see me because of Rosie, but y’all… I think we’ve found the extent of Laurie’s tolerance.”

There was a faint boom of a firework, causing Ronnie to flinch. He’d dreamt about Parrish, the kid who’d exploded via grenade the night before, only he was Parrish, and he didn’t die. Just a burning, blackened body, sickened by the smell of his own burning flesh. 

Scott frowned. “You really can’t listen to them anymore?”

He shook his head, glancing up to see Nguyệt sitting on the makeshift bed where Jack and Georgina were sleeping. She looked up and smirked.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

Scott stood up and faced him. “No, it’s something. You’re always looking like there’s something there. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

He looked at Scott, and the words spilled out of him. “I see Nguyệt.”

“You what?”

“I’ve been hallucinating my murdered first wife for the last six fucking years, Scott,” Ronnie snapped harshly, standing up. “There. There’s my big secret. I’m fucking insane.”

The blond stared at him warily. “...What’s she like?”

He didn’t answer, his eyes watching Nguyệt walk around Scott, touching his arms, his chest, his back. “He’s beautiful. I can almost understand why you like fucking him.”

Finally, he let out a puff of air, turned around, heading toward the stairs. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Scott stood there alone in the basement, confused and in shock. It mirrored a similar scene from years ago, though Scott was wearing swim trunks and had an erection then.

Notes:

holy shit ronnie actually telling someone something that isn't bobby... but also ruh roh

 

LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

mans mazulis --> my baby

Chapter 109: The Life and Death of a Loved One (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

A loved one’s funeral and Jennifer and Scott talk about Ronnie, life, sexuality, and love.

Latvian Translations in endnotes

CW: Off-screen character death, grief/mourning, alcohol abuse, harmful thoughts, a character drinks while breastfeeding, discussion of depression/suicidal character

Notes:

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

109: The Life and Death of a Loved One

 

Wednesday, August 30th, 1978, Norfolk, Nebraska



The chapel was quiet. It was hot for a Nebraskan August, so there were small fans plugged in, making mechanical noises that echoed across the small room. In the front of the room was an opened brown casket, and Ronnie stared at the dead woman lying in it. 

Valentina looked like she was sleeping, her eyes closed. She looked more alive than she had in her last few weeks of life. Ronnie would know. He’d held her hand when she took her final breath in a Sioux City hospital five days before. 

August sat on his lap, wrapping his arms around his father’s neck. He still didn’t understand why his Mamma wouldn’t just wake up, no matter how many times Mary tearily told him his mother was in heaven now.

Ronnie wasn’t religious, though he wouldn’t call himself an atheist, a lapsed Catholic if anything, but he’d prayed more in the last few days than he had in over a decade. He hoped she was in heaven, finally at peace. If anyone deserved it, it was her. She was so kind, so understanding. He’d give anything to hear her thick accent and when she slipped into her native tongue when she was excited, angry, tired, or drunk. 

A solemn couple walked into the church, dressed in shabby black clothes. They were in their early to mid 50s but looked older, like they had known nothing but harshness in their entire lives. Ronnie had never seen them before, but he could see the similarities their daughter shared.

He stood up quietly and walked to them, swallowing a sob. “Vilis and Ruta Jansons?”

Ruta, a short woman with greying dark brown hair, nodded. 

“I’m Ronnie McKittrick.”

Valentina’s mother nodded again. “Valentina tell us much of you.” Her accent was twice as thick as her daughter’s. 

He set August down. “This is August, your grandson.”

Mary saw them and walked over. “I am Mary, Ronnie’s mother.”

She and Ruta began to talk to one another quietly while Vilis stared at his daughter’s body, a single tear falling from his face. He muttered something in Latvian and bowed his head before turning back to Ronnie.

“He speak Latvian?” His accent was somehow thicker than his wife’s.

“Uh, some.”

August looked up at the strange man with the bushy mustache hiding behind his father’s legs. 

Vilis smiled sadly. “Hello, August. I am Vectēvs.”

He stepped out of his hiding spot and cocked his head. “Vectēvs?”

Jā, vectēvs.”

Sveiki,” August whispersred.

His grandfather gave him a kind smile.

The priest who gave the service was the same person who’d presided over Ronald’s funeral four years prior. So much had changed since then. He found it almost ironic that they were in the same chapel, the same priest, and Beth was pregnant again too. 

Ronnie sat in the very back, away from everyone. He didn’t want to be near them. He couldn’t bear it. There was a flask in his jacket pocket, full of whiskey taken from his mother. Nguyệt sat in the pew across from him, also dressed in black. It felt mocking. 

He snuck sips every so often, but he honestly wanted to drink it all right there and then. It tasted like fire burning down his throat. He needed more. 

Jennifer caught him after the fifth time, turning her head to see what he was doing. Her eyes glanced at the metal flask in his hands, her frown growing deeper. He looked away from her. He couldn’t make eye contact with her. 

She didn’t do anything, as far as he could tell. She turned back around, letting him drink in a church. 

“Before we begin closing rites and prayers, I would like to invite Ronald McKittrick Jr. to come up and say a few words,” the father spoke suddenly, shaking Ronnie from his thoughts.

He regretted agreeing to say something about Valentina. He had nothing prepared. Wiping his mouth, he stood up and walked to the podium next to the casket, the priest stepping aside. 

Ronnie gripped the lectern, his knuckles turning white. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, watching. Waiting. At least a few judging. A bead of sweat rolled down his back as his whole body trembled, swallowing a heavy sigh. 

 “I… I met Valentina four and a half years ago. Our chance meeting was an accident, but I’ve never regretted it. Getting to know her has been one of the best things in my life.” He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “She was one of the kindest people I knew. She was so unimaginably kind. To think of someone who had gone through so much and still be the kindest person… I-I didn’t deserve her friendship.” He took a shaky breath as his throat started to close up. “She was a wonderful friend, a wonderful mother, and I…”

Ronnie’s eyes watered as his breathing grew sharp. His head hurt, and people were staring—no, Beth was glaring at him. She knew he was drunk. She knew and hated him. He stood away from the lectern as tears started to run down his face. It felt suffocating—he had to get out.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” he muttered, walking away from the altar and casket, walking out of the chapel and into the bright, sunny day. 

 He whimpered, wiping the wave of tears off his cheeks, stalking off to the graveyard. He didn’t know where he was walking, but he needed to get away from everything. 

“You didn’t cry this much for me,” Nguyệt muttered, walking next to him. 

He stopped and panted, pulling out the flask from his pocket and drinking from it, not stopping until there was not a drop left. His head swayed. Why was it so bright?

He stalked across the graveyard, taking off his jacket and dropping it until he found himself staring at his father’s headstone. It was the cheapest one the funeral home offered, Mary using the last child support check he’d sent to pay for it. 

 

Ronald Patrick McKittrick Sr.

 

June 9th, 1922, Banbridge, Northern Ireland - October 10th, 1974



Ronnie hadn’t looked at his father’s grave since the funeral. He’d argued against it, wanting to burn the body and dump the ashes in the trash, but Mary and Valentina had insisted on having a funeral. A proper send-off to hell, Líadan had remarked. 

Ronald hadn’t deserved such a nice funeral. He hadn’t deserved the two women he’d married. He felt anger in him as he stared at the headstone. Cunt. Abusive asshole.

“Fuck you, you fucking coward,” he fumed, throwing his empty flask at the stone. “I hate you, you monster—you deserved your ashes thrown in a trash can, but you got a funeral.” He sniffed, his lips trembling as he fell to his knees, blubbering, “It-it should’ve been you. It should have been you with a painful death. You should’ve died the way she died. I wish you had.”

Ronnie started sobbing, not caring if people saw him. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched, knowing it was Nguyệt, always ready to mock or tell him to die. It seemed deserving now.

“Ronnie,” Jennifer’s voice said gently.

He turned his head. She was standing behind him, blocking his view of the sun. It made her look heavenly, even in the plain black dress she wore.

Jennifer stroked his face, her long fingers moving across the rough bristles on his face, sitting down on the grass.

He clutched onto her, to her warmth, her love. He wept silently into her chest as she ran her hands through his hair. It’d been a week since he last shaved his face. He didn’t care anymore. He was too tired.

 

Outside of Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska

 

It was eerily quiet. No one else was outside other than Scott and Jennifer, sitting on the wooden porch steps of her childhood home. There wasn’t even noise from a cow, chicken, or any animals Jack Parker had on his farm. The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky a lovely shade of pink and orange. Scott hated how nice it looked. 

“Pass the whiskey,” Jennifer muttered, rubbing her face.

He handed her the bottle of Jack Daniels they’d been sharing. “Are you sure you should be drinking something that strong while breastfeeding?”

“I’ll wait a couple hours before I feed Patrick and Donoma again. I need something strong.”

“Fair,” he muttered glumly, glancing at the piece of paper in Jennifer’s hand, the one that wasn’t holding the bottle. “What is that?”

“A letter from Valentina. She wrote it to me about three days before she passed.”

“Have you read it?”

She nodded, handing the bottle back to him. “I cried the whole time, but I read it.”

He took a swig before setting the bottle between them. “Can I read it? Or is it private?”

Jennifer handed him the letter. 

Scott unfolded it carefully, recognizing the familiar handwriting he’d seen on the postcards she used to send him. 

 

Dear Jennifer, 

 

I start by saying I am sorry for my spelling, it is worse than my gramar. That is not importent, I know, but I feel like child writing this. I wish you could speak Latvian or even Russian. My letter would not look like child letter. 

 

Ronnie has not left me since I come to hospital. He asleep now. Why I can write this. I want saying that he look peaceful when he sleep but is not case. I think he have nitemare now, but he has not sleep in many days, I know. 

 

I feel end soon. Very close. Few days more. I feel pain everywhere in my body. It is painful to sleep, so I do not. No point. Priest come and give final rites yesterday. Shokinglly, I think I have acepted my fate. My life. In God’s hands now. I pray rosary first time in years today. Maybe Jesus will let me into heavin now. 

 

I make this letter to ask big favor and say goodbye. You are no longur “Other Mommy” as August say. You are his mamma now becuze I cannot be. I ask you to rayse him with his brothers and sister. Love him. He will not understand why I no longur there. He shy but he adoor you, Jennifer. I do also. You have been most great friend in short time. Thank you for all. I have not have many friends in America. I am glad you are one. My furst reel girl friend. 

 

I hope you will be fine after my death. You, Ronnie, and Scott find comon place and be happy togeter. You all deserve it. I am not worry for my baby. He will be happy with you and his family. 

 

I know will be hard, but I ask you keep Latvia in August. He speak it now but knows nothing about my home. I hope in future he go there. My hart breaks that I will never see him start skool, first job, car, going collage, marry and his kids, but you will and I happy for you. You will be grate mother to him and his siblings. 

 

I leve you with proverb Mamma say when I was child, Vārna vārnai acī neknābj. It mean crow do not eat eye of other crow. Is good for brothers and sisters. Make sure they go along, and August not problem. 

 

Thank you for many and all things,

 

Valentina E. Jansons-McKittrick, 

August 22nd, 1978

 

Scott set the letter down and wiped his eyes. “I… I can see why it made you cry,” he sniffed.

Jennifer smiled sadly. “I’ll save it for August when he’s older. The last piece of writing his mother wrote.”

He nodded, picking up the Jack Daniels and taking a sip. “How’s Ronnie?”

“Passed out.”

He turned to face her. “Really? Shouldn’t someone be with him?”

She shook her head. “He doesn’t have nightmares from a bourbon-induced coma. He was already drunk from whiskey, and then he drank bourbon until he passed out after the will reading. I didn’t have the heart to stop him.”

The will reading had been brief, the shortest one Scott had ever witnessed, considering Valentina had few material items and wealth, which she left all to August. Jennifer planned to put his money in a savings account, that August could do whatever he wanted with it when he was older. 

“What are you gonna do now?”

“Adopt him. He’s already my stepson, so it won’t take as long as it normally does. Benjamin became my official adopted son July 13th, and that took around six months, so I doubt it shouldn’t take any longer for him.”

“I still feel like I’ll wake up tomorrow, and she’ll be there. It still hasn’t settled that she’s dead in my mind.”

“I know the feeling.” She sighed and looked at her lap, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Can I tell you something?”

His heart started beating faster in anticipation. “...What?”

Jennifer looked at him. “I think…  I think I have feelings for you and might love you, which is fucking stupid because you’re gay and—I’m married, but IthinkI’mstartingtofeelthesamewayIfeelaboutRonnieandit’sdrivingmeinsane,” she rushed out with a sudden gasp.

Scott didn't know how to respond to such a confession. His eyes widened, and he looked away. Was this how she’d felt when he’d come out to her? He wouldn’t deny his feelings for her were conflicting. Was it possible to love someone after spending too much time with them?

“Uh… I don’t know what to say, but I can tell you this: I don’t think I’m gay.”

Jennifer’s eyebrows raised. “What?”

“I accidentally slept with a girl on tour last year, and since we’ve fucked… sex with women hasn’t been a total turn-off for me.”

“How did you accidentally fuck girl?”

“She looked like a dude from behind, and I straight up asked if she wanted to fuck, then she turned around and said yes, and there was no way I could back out. So I thought I’d just pretend she was a dude, but I found myself enjoying it. I was drunk as shit too.” He blushed. “I’ve enjoyed your presence in sex too, whether watching or participating.

“Are you telling me my pussy has had a hand in you realizing you may be into girls after all?”

“I would also say your breasts and personality have helped too.”

She giggled. 

Scott smiled, realizing he cared about Jennifer. He cared about her very much. Maybe in time… shit—shut up, his brain told him. You can’t even tell Ronnie you love him, and now Jennifer’s told you that she loves you. 

He didn’t argue with himself. He never seemed to win. 

Jennifer sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I’ve started thinking about looking for professional help for Ronnie,” she admitted quietly. “He’s been borderline suicidal for months. Valentina’s death was the iceberg hitting an already slowly sinking ship.”

Scott wrapped his arm around her. “I’ve always known him as a very clean person. He shaves every day and showers at least every other day. Very nitpicky about keeping himself clean. When I saw him with the stubble a few days ago… I felt my heart drop. He hates stubbles.”

“I’ve been watching him slowly shut down, and now, here it is, in my face. He’s so conscious about his hygiene because when he was a prisoner of war, he had access to none of that. Beards and lack of showering remind him of it. But… he doesn’t care anymore. And that scares me.”

“Me too,” he whispered. “Me too.”

Notes:

i cried when i wrote that letter if it helps

 

LATVIAN TRANSLATIONS

Vectēvs --> Grandfather/grandpa

Sveiki --> Hello

Chapter 110: Woman (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Scott comes to see Jennifer while she is teaching.

CW: Discussion of terminal illness, death, depression, usage of homophobic slur, explicit sexual content

Notes:

spring break woo woo

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 110: Woman

 

Monday, September 25th, 1978, Bayside, Queens, New York



Jennifer stared at her Honors English IV class. They stared right back at her, except for some students in the back who were passing notes. She decided she didn’t care, turning around and writing stereotypes on the chalkboard.

“Okay, can someone tell me what they think stereotypes mean?”

The class was silent, no one raising their hands, counting to stare at her blankly. She sighed. She hated the beginning of the year since no one bothered to raise their hand and only stared at her, which she especially loathed. 

Finally, the know-it-all raised his hand, pushing up his thick glasses. If anything, he looked like a stereotypical nerd, though she wouldn’t dare say that out loud. 

“Yes, Jim?”

“It’s a cliche.”

“That is right, but can you give me a more in-depth meaning?”

Jim blinked. 

Jennifer bit back a snide remark. “Well, I’m assuming we all know this word, but it is hard to specifically define.”

Some students nodded.

That made her feel better. “Okay,” she told them, picking up her Merriam-Webster dictionary on her desk, “I’m gonna read the dictionary definition for you guys.” She flipped through the pages until she found the word, reading it in her best teacher voice. “Something conforming to a fixed or general pattern, especially a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment.”

She closed the book and set it back down. “Are stereotypes a good thing?”

Some kids answered no.

“They’re usually not, and they only reinforce racist and sexist values in our world.” She glanced at the varsity football fullback, who was staring out the window. “For example, Jordan. What do people assume about you just because you’re African American.”

Jordan glanced up. “Uh… they think Imma hood who steals.”

“And what’s the reality?”

He flashed a grin. “I don’t steal, but I’m still a hood.”

That earned a few chuckles. Jennifer rolled her eyes, smirking. “What about the rest of you? What are some stereotypes you’ve been pinned as because of your race, gender, religion, ethnicity, etc.?”

“That my dad’s a banker 'cause we’re Jewish.”

“My mom’s a maid because we’re Mexican.”

“That I suck at sports since I’m a girl.”

She frowned. “See? We’re all united in being judged by stereotypes. For example, take me. Do any of you know common stereotypes for Native Americans?”

“That they’re bloody-thirsty savages?” A girl peeped.

“Well, do I look like a bloody-thirsty savage?”

“No,” most of her class responded. 

“Exactly. Of course, that’s an older, very much outdated stereotype. On that note, we also have the noble savage, where they think we stand tall and regal with our tomahawks, even though plains tribes, where I’m from, don’t use them.” She slowed and lowered her voice, puffing her chest out. “And that we talk like this. I am Squanto, and I help the white man, so I am a good guy.”

Most of the class laughed or smiled. She smiled back. “Now, it’s not a bad thing if you do fall into a few characteristics of a stereotype. My husband’s first-generation Irish American, and well, he comes from a Catholic family, has a buttload of kids, and uh likes his whiskey.”

“So does my dad,” Connor, a freckled redhead, mused.

Jennifer laughed, shaking her head. Teaching was how she got away from everything. Older teenagers were great when they weren’t doing stupid shit. Plus, she was only a decade or nine years older than them. “His Northern Irish father was also in the IRA if we really want to get into walking stereotypes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, which is funny because he was active during the 40s, when like no one was active. He was also an a-hole who drank himself to death, but oh well.” 

Everyone seemed to be amused by that, so distracted they didn’t hear the door open. Neither did Jennifer.

“Okay, what are some other stereotypes? Throw ‘em at me.”

“All rock stars are drug and sex addicts.”

“Ouch,” a Texan drawl announced.

Everyone jerked their heads to see Scott standing in the doorway.

The class gasped as someone yelled, “Holy shit, you’re Scott Stern!”

Jennifer stared at him. “That stereotype is just true, especially for our surprise guest.”

Scott pretended to be hurt and put his hand on his chest. “Hey, I’m also an Emmy winner as of eight days ago.” Scott had been nominated and won for his appearance on The Muppet Show, which only boosted his ego, and now he was considering breaking into the acting scene. 

Her students started to stand up, going over to the rockstar. 

“Hey, sit back down,” she ordered. “You too, Scott.”

They all listened, watching him sit on the counter. “I promise autographs if y’all listen to Mrs. McKittrick.”

Everyone turned to Jennifer. “How do you know each other?” At least three people asked at the same time.

“We’re best friends in the whole wide world,” Scott answered, smiling a shit-eating grin. 

“Shut up.”

Everyone watched them silently. 

“Mr. Stern used to be married to my husband’s sister, and he and my husband are still close friends. In fact, he’s the godfather to my youngest stepson.” And biological father to our daughter, she added mentally. Ronnie had asked Scott to be August’s godfather during Christmas the year before. Both Scott and Valentina had readily agreed.

“Yeah, she has to deal with me all the time.”

A girl looked faint. “You hang out with him?”

“You wouldn’t be in awe if you knew him.”

Scott frowned. “I’m hurt.”

“If you keep interrupting my lesson, I’ll give you homework.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The kids laughed as Connor stood up. “Wait, Mrs. McKittrick, you’re the lady on The Queen of Sheba!”

Everyone’s eyes widened. 

Jennifer put her hands on her hips. “The album’s been out since June, and you guys are now realizing this? Connor, I taught you last year.”

His face turned red as he sat back down.

“Are you a model?” Someone else asked.

“No, he asked if I wanted to be on the cover, and I said yes.”

“Why?”

“Why not.”

They agreed it was a fair point.

Jordan raised his hand. “Can I bring my record tomorrow so you can sign it?”

“You want me to sign it? Mr. Rock Star is right there.”

“But no one’s gonna believe my hot teacher is the Queen of Sheba.”

Jennifer’s face grew hot. “Al-alright, enough about Mr. Flashy and album covers. What are some common stereotypes in literature, and how have authors used them in the past?”

 

***

 

Scott closed and locked her classroom door, making a loud clicking noise. 

“Why are you locking it?”

“Just in case those kids don’t keep their secret that I’m here.”

“Fair.” She cocked her head. “Why are you here?”

He held up a brown bag he’d set to the side earlier. “I brought lunch. Chinese.”

“Oh, thank you. But why are you here?”

He scoffed. “Can I not visit the mother of my youngest while she is at work?”

Jennifer was suspicious, but she just rolled her eyes, sitting at her desk. There was a reason, he just was stubborn. Fortunately for her, stubborn men seemed to be her type.

Scott pulled up a chair and pulled out the food he’d gotten. For her, he got shrimp lo mein noodles and egg rolls, and for himself, General Tso’s chicken and steamed rice and dumplings for them to share. It was much better than Jennifer’s original lunch, a ham and cheese sandwich with baby carrots.

“What class was that?” he asked, putting a dumpling in his mouth.

“Honors English IV. Fourth period.”

“What classes do you teach?”

“Honors English III, Honors English IV, Creative Writing I, and Creative Writing II. I teach two classes of each subject, and I get breaks during fifth and tenth period, so I’m allowed to leave early if I don’t have meetings.”

“Your college degrees, quite literally.”

She smirked. “Yup.”

“This is a big ass school. I almost got lost looking for your classroom.”

“I did too on my first day. I remember coming in for the interview and being shocked at how nice and huge it was. My high school is a prison compared to this place.”

“Same. I went to a tiny country high school. They named the gym after my grandfather because he gave them a shitload of money.”

“Oh, how sad, Richie Rich, your granddaddy was loaded.”

He rolled his eyes, chuckling. 

When Jennifer finished her food and threw it out, Scott was messing around with his lighter. She glanced at the clock on the wall and saw she had 28 minutes before sixth period started. 

“Jennifer?”

She set her fork down. “Yeah?”

He swallowed and shoved his lighter into his pocket. “Do you really love me, or were you just saying that?”

She sighed. Her feelings for Scott were conflicting. He was kind, handsome, funny, and a good friend. Who wouldn’t crush on him? But seeing him holding Donoma and/or Patrick made her heart skip a beat. He looked at them with love and found herself wishing he looked at her the same. “I do,” she finally answered.

Scott ran his hand through his shaggy blond hair, gulping. “I think I do too.”

Jennifer sat there, staring at her desktop. “Really?”

He nodded and took her hand, a kind smile on his face. “Never thought it was possible to love two people at once.”

She agreed. “Me neither.”

His shoulders relaxed, but his leg was bouncing out of nerves or anxiety. There was something else.

“Scott, why did you come?”

He swallowed. “Ya know how my brother Charlie and I made up?”

Mhmm.”

“He called last night.”

Jennifer frowned, squeezing his hand. “What is it?”

His lip trembled, and she could see he was tearing up. “My father’s dying. Cancer. It’s terminal.” He wiped his face and scoffed. “Like that stupid fucking thing that hasn’t done enough already.”

“Oh, Scott,” she mumbled, standing and moving over to hug him.

He stood and hugged her back, wrapping his hand around her back. “I haven’t seen him in three years. Since I told them I was a fag.” He leaned away from her. “He was a good dad. Great man. Married my bitch of a mother though.” He rubbed his face. “I wanna see him, but I don’t know if I can or if he’ll just kick me out.”

“Hey, you care about your father. He helped raise you. That’s normal.”

“But he’s ashamed of me. Probably wouldn’t want his fag son at his death.”

“Well, if you meant what you said to me, that means you aren’t a complete one.”

Scott sighed. “I don’t know what I am now. I guess bisexual, but it’s not like I look at men and women the same as Ronnie does. It’s still mostly men.” He smiled bittersweetly. “I found myself thinking about flirting with a girl I saw a few days ago. She was pretty. Feminine. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Other than you.”

Jennifer sat on her desk, crossing her legs and adjusting her hippie skirt. “Sexuality is a spectrum.”

“You think so?”

“Well, that’s how I always thought of it.”

His eyebrows knit together. “I was completely off girls until a year ago.”

“Was Beth that bad of a fuck?”

Scott’s cheeks turned red. “No. Well… she never let me go down on her when we were together, even before Ronnie and I started screwing.”

Jennifer found women who didn’t like oral performed on them weird. It was the best way to an orgasm. “Was it a religious thing?”

“No, I don’t think so because she was okay with blowjobs.” He shrugged. “Guess it irked her.”

“I can’t imagine her having sex,” she said honestly.

Scotts laughed and shook his head. “It wasn’t a good relationship for either of us. I mean, she moved in after three months. We got engaged in less than two years and married two months later. No wonder it didn’t last, especially with our extremely different personalities.”

“Plus you played your own song at your wedding.” Since Jennifer had learned this, she was determined to relentlessly tease him about it. She would have divorced him too if he’d done that to her. There had been a piano at her and Ronnie’s wedding, and she had banned him from playing any of his songs or songs he wrote for other people—much more than she had thought.

He groaned, rubbing his face. “Leave me alone. I recognize now I shouldn’t have done that.”

She snorted. “No shit, Sherlock. …But really, do you think if you hadn’t married Beth, you would have figured out your attraction to men and still to women?”

“I have no idea. At least I have Rosie from all that.” He stepped closer to her. “Ya know, you don’t always have to do all the comforting. I’m here for you too.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Scott stared at her, taking another step until their knees were touching. She stared back as a chill went down her back and crossed her legs tighter. Scott’s grey eyes were stormy—full of emotion.

“How much time until your next class?”

She glanced at the clock. “Twenty minutes.” 

He looked at the locked door for a moment before turning back, leaning down, and kissing Jennifer’s lips. He tasted like Chinese food and smelled like expensive cologne and the faint scent of nicotine. 

She deepened the kiss, licking and biting his lower lip as a wave of lust washed over her, and she forgot where she was. Scott pushed her two braids back as one hand wrapped around the back of her head and the other on her right cheek. His hands were warm, palms callused from the guitar.

She parted from him to hike up her skirt, not caring that she hadn’t shaved in months. Scott undid his belt and jeans, pulling his suddenly erect cock out from his underwear. Jennifer spread her legs further on her desk, and she felt like she was in a porno. Slutty Teacher Gets Fucked by Rock Star. That actually sounded like one.

“Hurry up,” she gritted, pulling her thong to the side, bothering to take it off.

Scott scoffed, pumped himself twice, and slid between her legs, Jennifer gasping as he touched her sensitive thighs. He didn’t waste another minute and thrust forward, a shot of pain as he entered her tight flesh. They both groaned.

She winced but angled herself upward for easier access, swinging her legs around his jean-covered ass.

“Am I hurting you?”

“Just fuck me,” she replied, urging him forward. She didn’t need someone caring and sweet at the moment.

Scott listened and thrust again, placing his hands on either side of her, groaning. He leaned down and took her lips, kissing her passionately as he continued thrusting.

Jennifer moaned against his lips, a pit forming in her stomach as she rocked with him, the desk making a creaking noise every time he found her spot.

Her hands gripped his neck as her toes curled, and she arched her neck back. “I’d-I’d… let you fuck me in the ass if we had more time,” she said between breaths.

Scott moaned in reply. “Ugnnh.”

His thrusts became sloppy, and he gasped, resting his forehead against hers. “Sorry—I ain’t gonna last,” he whined. 

Jennifer whimpered in ecstasy before realizing they didn’t have condoms and had started fucking on a whim. “Pull out, pull out,” she urged, her legs dropping from his hips.

Scott grunted, pulled out of her, and angled his dick to the right before coming on her desk. “Shit.”

They rested against each other’s foreheads, panting. The room smelled like sex, and a bit of semen had gotten on Jennifer’s hiked-up skirt.

“I could get fired if someone walks in,” she muttered as reality returned, her lustful thoughts out of the window. “Fuck.”

Scott grabbed the box of Kleenex, cleaned himself and Jennifer, and then put some on the desk. Jennifer stood up and adjusted her skirt and underwear before grabbing the Lysol and air freshener spray she kept in the back. They cleaned their mess quietly, Jennifer leaning against her desk when the room only smelled like lemon cleaner.

“We should talk about this,” Scott finally said, standing next to her. “All three of us.”

“I know, but I doubt Ronnie would even stay sober long enough to have such a deep conversation.” She sighed. “I act like everything’s okay with him, how he’s such an amazing husband, and I love him, but the truth is he doesn’t touch me anymore. That was the first time I’ve had sex since before the twins were born.”

Scott scratched his belt buckle. “I haven’t fucked since May. Hence why I didn’t even last two minutes.”

“You don’t screw other people?”

“I haven’t since you confirmed you were pregnant.” He rubbed his nose. “How is Ronnie?”

“He lost his job,” she answered.

His eyes widened. “What? How?”

“He just stopped showing up until his boss called me and fired him.”

Scott frowned. “We should get him to a doctor.”

She pursed her lips. It had been on her mind for a while, and she had to say something. “Ya know how people say you can’t love others if you can’t love yourself?”

He nodded.

“I don’t agree with that. Ronnie loves me, I know that. God, he loves me more than life itself.”

He looked sullen.

She took his hand. “He probably feels the same way about you.”

“Does he?”

“He does,” she affirmed, “even if he won’t say it. He looks at you with such warmth, and you two are far too intimate to not love each other.” She continued with her point. “But you don’t have to love yourself to love others. Ronnie… Ronnie hates himself. I’ve never known anyone who despises themselves as much as he does. Every bone in his body and every inch of his mind.” A tear ran down her face, and she paused to wipe it, sniffling. “The only reason why he hasn’t tried to kill himself yet is that he loves us and the kids more than he hates himself. Love trumps hate.

I like to think he stays for us, but since Valentina’s death… I’m afraid his self-hatred will win.” Jennifer choked as a fresh pot of tears fell down her face. “It-it’s not a matter of if he will, it’s a question of when he will.”

Scott looked as if he was struggling to contain his emotions. He gulped loudly, and she knew he was holding back a cry.

“God, Scott, I don’t think I can do this much longer,” she whimpered, tears falling down her face. She had been fighting for so long, and she was scared of what the future held.

The blond pulled her into a bear hug, which she gratefully accepted. “Maybe one day, he’ll look at himself and see what we see. Beyond the hatred, beyond the pain… and he’ll see a man deserving of that love.”

“Do you believe that, or are you just telling yourself that?”

He swallowed. “The latter.” 

“I shower him in attention, adoration because maybe it helps, but we’ll lose. Soon. He’s-he’s losing the will to live.” She sniffed, knowing she would have to wipe her face and pretend like she hadn’t just broken down in a few minutes when the bell rang. “I’m so scared,” she whispered, her words echoing what she had said to Scott a month earlier.

Scott hugged her tighter. “I am too.”

Notes:

now we pause for a brief interlude of a little bit of happiness. and p0rn

i actually googled how many periods bayside high school has and it said ten on the website like holy shit why would you do that. there's a good chance it was different in the 70s but it's hard to find that info so oh well.

Chapter 111: Rabbit Hole (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie’s mental state is on a rapid decline as Nguyet and a new presence continue to torment him

NOTE: If you are in a pretty shitty mental state, I would advise treading carefully on this chapter. This really looks at the ugly side of depression, the part no one talks about when they romanticize depression (so gross). Please stay safe and take your time <3

CW: Suicidal character, losing the will to live, alcohol abuse, self-hatred/deprecation, encouragement of self-hatred/suicide and abuse, nightmare about former abuser, brief mention of past rape

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 111: Rabbit Hole

 

Sunday, October 1st, 1978, Bayside, Queens, New York



Ronnie heard Jennifer rustling and sitting up in their bed. He opened his eyes, staring at his nightstand. Away from her.

“Good morning, baby,” she whispered lovingly, kissing his temple. Her lips were cracked and dry, like she hadn’t taken a sip of water in weeks. 

He blinked.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“No.”

He heard her sigh as she moved away from him, getting out of bed. “Do you want breakfast?”

“No.”

She huffed stiffly, putting on a blue robe. “You haven’t eaten in two fucking days. You’re eating.” She paused as she sat next to him, leaning into his ear. “I can make toast and fried eggs with bacon,” she whispered, her tone kinder. “With a runny yolk and butter and strawberry jam on the toast. Just how you like it.”

He shut his eyes again. “Coffee’s fine.”

Jennifer sat up, groaning in frustration. “Please, eat for me.”

He opened one eye and saw her hovering over him, a pleading, hurt look on her face. Her hand rubbed his blanket-covered calf. 

“Fine,” he finally answered. 

She smiled and kissed his beard, standing up. “I love you.”

He didn’t reply, shifting his body so he was staring at the ceiling as she left the room. As soon as the door closed, a familiar voice graced her presence once again.

“Good morning, husband,” Nguyệt greeted, standing over him and stroking his face. “It’s a shame your whore locked up all the knives and cleaning chemicals. Now you can’t use those to kill yourself.”

He looked away from her. “Fuck off,” he muttered, his voice not even above a whisper. 

Another hand stroked the other side of his face as a thick Eastern European accent spoke. “Death is not so bad, Ronnie. You can join me.”

Valentina looked the same as she did when he first met her. Bangs and a shy gaze. She smiled at him. “Use gun you keep lock in basement.”

“Even Jennifer does not know about it,” Nguyệt chimed in.

He’d bought it in July after walking past a gun shop while leaving a bar. He’d stared at the store before going inside. He barely remembered the promise he’d sworn to himself when he’d returned to the US after ‘Nam: Never hold a gun again. It was a simple handgun, and he’d bought six bullets with it. The seller hadn’t even bothered to ask for his driver’s license. 

The women looked disappointed that he hadn’t replied, moving over to the sofa in the bedroom and sitting on it, staring at him. Nguyệt was wearing a red dress, and Valentina a green one in the same design. They were dresses Beth would wear, never Jennifer.

Ronnie sat in his bed and reached over to his nightstand, his pack of Marlboro and lighter waiting for him. He lit a cigarette and sighed heavily. He wanted to shut his eyes and sleep, but he knew sleep would evade him. It always did.

The door creaked, and he looked up. Scott was standing in the doorway wearing an old t-shirt and jeans. 

“Hey.”

“Why is he here?” Nguyệt hissed.

He blinked. “Don’t you have a thriving music career?”

Scott chuckled and sat on the bed next to him. 

“Why are you here?” He whispered.

“I care about you.” His reply was pointal, direct. 

Ronnie looked away from him. Most of his time was spent in bed, smoking, drinking the liquor stash in his nightstand drawer he knew Jennifer knew about but did nothing to take it, and being haunted by Nguyệt and now Valentina. She’d joined his dead wife two days after her funeral. 

When he did manage to sleep, the nightmares were violent and painful. He was scared that he’d hurt Jennifer in his sleep, but he was more afraid of sleeping alone. He was tired. The days were long and pointless. He was a waste of space. Nguyệt and Valentina were right. He deserved to die. 

The blond swallowed, cracking his knuckles. “Jennifer says you haven't left the bed in four days. Even for the bathroom.”

Ronnie closed his eyes. “Please leave me alone.”

“Yes, please leave,” Nguyệt echoed. 

Valentina nodded in agreement.

“Ronnie.”

He opened his eyes and looked at him. “What?” He asked, his voice rough and gravelly. 

“You’re gonna get a UTI or worse. Please.” He sounded hurt and caring, and Ronnie didn’t know why. “I will drag you from this bed if I have to,” he threatened, swallowing what sounded like a sob. 

“You hurt him,” Valentina remarked. “Monster. Like your father.”

Jennifer came in a beat later, holding a tray of food. The delicious smell made him nearly gag. He didn’t want to eat. “Benjamin says hi and that he misses you.”

Ronnie put out his cigarette. “I’m not that hungry.”

“You’re eating,” she replied firmly. 

He stared at them. Jennifer and Scott looked tired, annoyed, and concerned.

“Look at them,” Nguyệt told him. “You’re nothing but a burden. If you really loved them both, you would end their suffering. The world will be an easier place with you gone.”

With a small sigh, he grabbed the cup of coffee and took a sip. She had put a bit of creamer, just the way he always made his. Jennifer put the metal tray down next to him and whispered something into Scott’s ear. Then she kissed Scott’s cheek twice and left the room again. Ronnie merely blinked at her display of affection.

Scott watched him, encouraging him to eat. He knew the blond wouldn’t leave unless he did. 

Not eating food for days made his stomach feel empty, and every bite he took made him want to puke. The eggs tasted slimy, the bacon greasy, and the butter and jam on the toast were too salty and sweet simultaneously. Food tasted like nothing, just ashes in his mouth. He felt sick to his stomach. Why couldn’t they leave him alone?

He ate one egg, one slice of bacon, half of one piece of toast, and all his coffee. When it became clear to Scott that Ronnie wouldn’t finish it, he took the plate and left the room, and finally, he was alone again. Almost alone. 

In the drawer of his nightstand was a bottle of codeine he’d hidden. The lack of sleeping pills and the will to stand and find alcohol had resorted him to this. He uncapped the bottle and took a swig. He hated the taste, sticky and tangy. It made him feel sleepy, and if he took enough of it, he could pass out. He was tempted to chug the rest of it, but he didn’t want to deal with Scott and Jennifer’s mutual wrath.

“Maybe you should stay alive,” Valentina mused, almost in a sing-song voice. “And suffer.” She appeared suddenly sitting next to him, dragging her cold finger across his scraggly beard. “I was in pain when I die, Ronnie. You can go same way.”

“You should,” Nguyệt muttered to herself. “But I would rather have you dead with me.”

Scott came back holding two towels. “C’mon, you’re taking a bath,” he announced, shutting the door behind him.

He closed his eyes. “Why can’t you leave me alone?” He turned over, laying on his stomach. “I don’t want to. Fuck off.”

“And I don’t care,” he replied. Ronnie heard the tub start and the unzipping of jeans, its brass buttons clinking as they hit the floor.

He opened his eyes and saw Scott was just in his underwear. He was serious. Perhaps that was what Jennifer had whispered into his ear. To force him to bathe, to clean the bodily fluids that had long dried on his body after four days of not leaving the bed.

Ronnie didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to bathe. He didn’t care if he would end up lying in his own filth. He didn’t care about anything. Life was pointless. There was no reason to do anything. The women in the room were right. He wanted to die. 

Scott walked back into the bedroom. His cheery disposition was gone, replaced with a blank one. He offered a hand to Ronnie, who didn’t take it. He sighed and grabbed his arms, pulling him up from the bed.

Ronnie didn’t protest the manhandling, but he didn’t make it any easier to move. All his energy was gone, and as much as he didn’t want people touching him, he didn’t have the will to make Scott stop. Scott took off his clothes with warm, gentle hands. He didn’t say anything about the smell or stains. In fact, he didn’t say anything at all, stepping into the hot bath, still holding Ronnie’s sides.

He didn’t deserve this care. Why would Scott go out of his way to force him to bathe? His hands ran down his back and arms and hair, washing his body and hair as Ronnie lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He sniffled and wondered if Scott could tell he was crying.

Nguyệt and Valentina watched, staring mockingly. He closed his eyes. Why couldn’t they leave him alone? They knew how much he hated himself and still, they mocked him? He’d give anything for silence, the vision of the gun in the basement ever so clear. One shot, and finally, there would be silence. 

Scott drained the water, holding on to Ronnie tightly like he was afraid to let go. They laid naked in the tub, and he thought maybe Scott was there because he wanted sex, though he knew Ronnie hadn’t even touched himself since April. Sex seemed meaningless. A once enjoyable activity, now a scorn. He wasn’t worthy of pleasure. To torture himself instead was reasonable, deserved. Necessary. 

Scott sat up slowly and grabbed two towels on the tub rim. He wrapped the first one around Ronnie before standing up to dry himself off. He stepped out of the tub before turning around and yanking Ronnie’s arm, forcing him up. 

He dressed him and himself, Ronnie sitting back on his bed when he finished. He wouldn’t let him and Jennifer take away the sheets and blankets from him too. 

“Why are you doing this?” He finally asked.

Scott swallowed, quiet. He stood in the corner of the room, near the door, his face written of pity and melancholy. “...Because I love you,” he uttered after minutes of silence. His voice was rough, full of emotion. 

Six months ago, perhaps Ronnie would have had a different reaction. If he didn’t have the weight of a whale on his chest and the self-loathing he felt every time he spoke, he might have said something different. Instead, he just blinked. Just another confession. 

“Why? Why do either of you love me?” He laid back on his bed, pulling the blanket over his body. “I’m just a burden,” he whispered, echoing what he had been told a thousand times by the two dead women. 

“No,” Scott protested, stepping forward, tears in his eyes. “No, you’re not, Ronnie.”

“I don’t deserve love,” Ronnie whispered, closing his eyes. It was the truth, after all. He didn’t know they loved him or why his children loved him. He was a shitty, horrible person. 

He heard Scott sniffle.

“If you love me, then leave me alone.”

There was a shaky sigh, and then the door creaked open briefly before Ronnie heard it shut. Good. He hoped he hated him now. It would make it easier. 

“He confesses his love,” Valentina remarked.

He opened his eyes to see them sitting on the bed next to him. 

“You are right, my darling,” Nguyệt said soothingly. “You don’t deserve love. You’re a murderer, an adulterer, and an addict. You don’t need them. You have us.”

“And he haunt your dreams,” Valentina whispered into his ear.

He shivered.

“You are like Ronald,” she continued. “You must die.”

“You were cursed the day they named you after him.”

 “Your sister is right. You are abomination.”

“Disgusting,” Nguyệt hissed, draping her body over his. “Do they know how violent you truly are? How much time in my country really affected you?”

Ronnie pushed her off him, reached for the bottle of whiskey next to the codeine, and drank it until he couldn’t, setting the bottle down and panting. His head was murky and dizzy. The alcohol and cough medicine was reacting with each other. He could feel sleep touch his mind. After two days of no sleep, he welcomed it, regardless of what waited for him in his dreams. 

Dao now appeared in his dreams more often than not. Sometimes he would stare at Ronnie with a menacing grin, other times not. This time, Ronnie was in the solitary confinement cell. The door was closed, but somehow, there was light in the room, and he could see his surroundings. Ronnie was at one corner, and on the opposite side, where the metal bucket used to be, sat Dao, who looked the same as he did when Ronnie last saw him seven years ago, minus the broken nose. 

“It seems we are playing the second round of Cat and Mouse. I would say the last round ended in a draw, considering you did try to kill yourself, but then you were rescued and survived. But now…” He smirked. “I am curious to know. I will tell you the truth, Ronnie. I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to die at all. I like you.”

“Th-then why d-did do this to me?” He asked hoarsely. 

“Watching you suffer is immensely gratifying. Sexually satisfying. I don’t deny my sadism.”

“You ruined me.”

Dao smiled, standing up. “I know. I am proud of my work. …You were my favorite out of all them, you know.” He crouched down to Ronnie’s level. “Maybe it was because you were handsome or spoke my language. Watching you break and fall was glorious. Touching you even more so.”

Ronnie tried to move away from him, but he couldn’t move. He was frozen in his spot. Dao’s breath was next to his face, and he could feel the hot breath. His chest heaved, and he closed his eyes, a single tear falling from his face. It was almost cathartic.

You stirred briefly after you fell unconscious while I took you. You didn’t know who or where you were. But you said a name before falling back into unconsciousness. It was a woman’s name, but what shocked me was that it wasn’t your wife’s name. Nguyệt, yes? No, it was a European name,” he mused, switching to Vietnamese. “Jennifer,” he hissed. “That was the name. You cried out not the wife I had killed, but another one. In a moment of weakness, you said the name Jennifer. I almost feel sorry for having little Nguyệt killed, for I think the reaction of you saying not her name, especially if she was alive, would have been most amusing for me, my dear Corporal.” 

Ronnie shuttered, startled as he opened his eyes to see his ceiling. He took short breaths, looking directly forward to see the two women sitting across from him. There was a voice, almost whispering. It was Jennifer. She was on the phone. 

“Mary,” she whimpered, sounding close to tears, “I don’t know what to do. I’m so afraid to leave him alone, and every day just gets worse. I-I can’t afford to pay the bills and mortgage on my teacher salary, and I have twin babies and a little boy whose mother just died. I’m-I’m at my wit's end. August and Benjamin kept asking why their daddy’s sick and when they can see him—Scott-Scott’s been coming over as much as he can, and he’s paid the mortgage and bills for the last two months, and I already feel so guilty having to ask for more money that I know I won’t be able to pay back, and he’s so busy with his own career—fuck’s sake, he’s the fucking famous guy with fucking number one spot on the charts with his stupid fucking album!”

She sniffed as she grew silent, listening to her mother-in-law’s reply. They talked a bit longer until he suddenly heard a sniffly goodbye. Jennifer put the phone down, and Ronnie felt the bed sink as she sat down, letting a shaky sob out. Another shaky breath and she was crying. He turned his head slightly to her shaking back as she put her hands over her face. 

“You’re only hurting her,” his dead wife said.

“Burden,” Valentina answered.

He agreed.

Notes:

This was such a rough chapter to write, but ultimately, it's honestly one of my favorites because of the dynamics we see here, and ya know, getting to write about what depression is actually like is so important to me because it gets so romanticized online which I loathe, but there's this aura of intimacy in this chapter that I love (not in a good way obliviously), but in the fact how it's so character driven.

Chapter 112: The Visit (Vol II, Part V)

Summary:

Ronnie magically seems to be healthier, but Jennifer and Scott are paranoid as they both have separate deep conversations with Mary

 

CW: Suicidal character, mention of Holocaust/Anti-semitism, explicit sexual content, discussion of past suicide, SEE ENDNOTES FOR MORE (based on spoilers and severity)

Notes:

This is the last chapter of part v, can't believe we only have one more part to go. I just wanted to say again to please look at tags and any CWs I may have given. Also, note the absence of a certain warning.

i also want to say thank you so much for 5k hits, this means so much to me—I thought I would never get more than 1k. I am just in shock by it, and I cannot express my thanks enough. thank you, you very wonderful and amazing readers. ❤️

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 112: The Visit

 

Monday, October 9th, 1978, Bayside, Queens, New York



Jennifer’s hands gripped the steering wheel, clenching until her knuckles turned white. Donoma and Patrick babbled in their little hanging car seats, swinging their chubby little legs. At almost four months, they were both huge, and people were often surprised when she told them they were only three months old. Between them sat August, and the usually chatty Benjamin was in the passenger seat.

The school had a little daycare for babies and toddlers for teachers and student parents. It was much cheaper than most daycares, and she could breastfeed the twins during her lunch break. 

Mary arrived two days after the phone call. She told her grandchildren she was there for a family visit, but the adults knew the truth. Jennifer hoped the presence of his mother would help, but she wasn’t sure. She was never strictly religious, but now she prayed every time she left the house that she would see him again when she returned. 

“Okay,” she finally said, letting go of the wheel. “I’ll need help with the twins. Are you two up to it?”

“Uh-huh,” Benjamin confirmed. “I can get Donoma.”

“No, no, I’ll get your siblings. I need you two to grab your backpacks, my purse, and someone to unlock the door for me,” she told them, taking the keys out of the ignition. She turned her head around, August’s big blue eyes watching her. “Would you like to unlock the door, August?”

He nodded, taking the keys from her. Every few nights, he would wake up crying for his mamma, and Jennifer had to leave Ronnie to soothe him. She knew he wanted his father, but she hadn’t let them see their father in nearly three weeks, claiming he was very sick and didn’t want them to get sick. She suspected they both knew, even three year old August, that something was up. 

Benjamin carried her purse and his backpack, August with the keys and his little Corduroy-themed backpack, with the titular teddy bear in the center, and Jennifer holding each twin in her arms. She wondered what they looked like to their neighbors. 

August opened the door, pushing it open, as Jennifer heard voices talking. Perhaps Scott had come earlier than he said he would and was talking to Mary, but Jennifer hadn’t seen either of his cars in the driveway. Maybe his driver had dropped him off. 

She stepped inside, and her jaw dropped. Ronnie was standing, dressed, and shaved, talking to Mary, who had the biggest grin on her face.

August’s eyes lit up, and he ran toward his father. “DADDY!”

Benjamin heard the commotion, his face a similar reaction, dropping the stuff he was holding and joining his brother. “DAD!”

Ronnie bent on a knee and embraced his two oldest. “Hey.” His voice was dry, likely since he hadn’t actually spoken in a week. 

Jennifer stepped closer, closing the door with her foot. She had to be dreaming. This was impossible. Too good to be true.

Ronnie stood up and gave her a smile, walking over to peck her lips. He tasted like cough syrup and whiskey. He took the twins from her arms and kissed them on their heads. “Hey, baby.”

Jennifer gulped. He looked perfectly normal except for his eyes. They were dead, expressionless. Exhausted. 

“It is so wonderful that my baby is feeling better,” Mary expressed, brushing her short greyed blonde hair out of her face. 

She nodded, continuing to stare at Ronnie, surrounded by his four children. He didn’t look at her as a pit grew in her stomach. Yesterday he would only open and close his eyes. Now he was up and shaved? She hated thinking like that, but there must have been an ulterior motive. There had to be.

“When are Isaac and Bian coming for dinner?” He asked, sitting on the couch.

“Uh...” She began before realizing her mouth was still open. “They’re coming in about an hour. Scott too.”

Ronnie’s former in-laws were in New York for Yom Kippur since Isaac’s family lived in Brooklyn. The holiday and fast didn’t start until Tuesday, so they were stopping by for dinner. Jennifer had also invited them in the hopes their presence may do something. It seemed it did, but it was too perfect. She didn’t trust Ronnie. 

Scott arrived twenty minutes later, just as shocked as Jennifer to see Ronnie walking and talking. He kept giving him and her looks, glancing back and forth in confusion. At least she wasn’t the only one. 

Ronnie brushed off his questions, only saying that he’d like to see Isaac and Bian. He didn’t look either of them in the eye. 

When they arrived, Mary joked that Benjamin looked more related to his cousins than his siblings. Dean and Esther ran downstairs with Benjamin and August (though it looked like Benjamin had forced him) while Mary made coke and rum. Ronnie had three. Bian happily announced she was four months pregnant with a boy, and Isaac mentioned they were thinking about moving up east.

“They’re already the only Vietnamese kids in our town. I’d rather not have them as the only Jewish kids too. The synagogue we attend is three towns away, and it’s tiny as fuck.”

“Are you gonna move in the city or further out?” Scott asked.

“I love Brooklyn, but I don’t wanna be too close to my parents. Once you get used to livin’ away from them, it’s hard to go back. Plus, I’m still scared of Rabbi Demsky’s rabbits, which he still keeps. I’m thinking of Long Island or Yonkers. Not the city, but close enough.”

“You’re afraid of rabbits?” Ronnie cocked a brow.

“No, Rabbi Demsky’s rabbits. They’re fuckin’ evil. He’s been breeding them since before I was born. Black fur and red eyes.” He shuddered.

“I don’t think black rabbits canna have red eyes,” Mary muttered, ignoring Isaac’s constant swearing.

“These ones do.” He looked serious.

“You could go to Newark or Hackensack,” Jennifer suggested, chuckling. 

Isaac grimaced. “‘Ey, I may not have lived in the city in like a decade, but I’m still a New Yorker at heart. I ain’t livin’ in fucking New Jersey.”

Bian rolled her eyes at her husband. “You are so descriptive with words, my dear.”

He laughed and turned his attention to Scott. “Ya know, we still haven’t ruled out that you might be Jewish. Are you sure you’re not related to the Stern banking family?”

Scott scoffed. “I told you this last time. My last name is a common German and Jewish one.”

“I’ve met three other Sterns in my life, and they’re all Jewish, man.”

“Okay, but technically Stern is my great-great grandmother’s maiden name. She might’ve been like part Jewish or something.”

“Wait, Stern’s not your last name?” Jennifer cut in.

Everyone looked surprised. 

“Uh, my grandpa changed it during World War I. Too German.”

Bian sipped her rum and coke. “What did it use to be?”

“Von Schwarzenberg.”

Jennifer, Isaac, and even Ronnie and Mary snorted. 

“That’s… that’s a fucking name, alright,” Isaac muttered, snickering. “Is this the part where you say your real name is actually Hans Wilhelm Ludwig von Schwarzenberg?”

“I don’t think I can pronounce that,” Bian mused.

“What is a Schwarzenberg?” Jennifer remarked, suddenly extremely grateful for Grandpa Stern’s last name change. 

“It means black mountain,” Scott translated. “My family is originally from Augsburg, Bavaria.”

“I’m gonna start calling you your real name, Hans Wilhelm Ludwig von Schwarzenberg of Augsburg,” Isaac told him.

“Please don’t.”

“Okay, Hans Wilhelm Ludwig von Schwarzenberg of Augsburg.”

Jennifer laughed, turning her attention to Ronnie, who was staring off into space, looking as dead as he did the day before. He caught her staring and smiled, the look gone. Paranoia grew inside of her. 

After dinner, Ronnie left the adults to hang with his kids, niece, and nephew, claiming that he wanted to make up for all the time he missed due to his “illness”.

“Jennifer, you said when you called that he wouldn’t even leave the bed to use the bathroom, that you and Scott had to literally drag him,” Isaac said, lowering his voice. “That’s not ‘won’t even leave the bed to use the bathroom’.”

“Something’s not right,” she confessed. “He wouldn’t eat or move yesterday, and now he's up walking and talking?”

“Maybe he is getting better,” Mary countered, hopeful to believe that her son was well. 

“Or maybe he’s planning his last goodbyes.”

Mary sighed, rubbing her daughter-in-law’s shoulder. “Oh, Jennifer, you canna say that.”

Jennifer teared up, trembling. “I’ve watched my husband lose the will to live. I’m scared every time I leave the house because I don’t know if it will be the last time I see him.”

Everyone was quiet until Isaac spoke softly, looking down.

“My grandfather committed suicide when I was eight. He was 53.” He swallowed. “My mother was raised Lutheran, but her dad—my Opa—was Jewish, so uh it wasn’t overly difficult to convert when she married my dad. …When the Nuremberg Laws were set into motion, Opa had Mama and Oma flee Dusseldorf because they were Christain, and it was easier for them to leave, even if Mama was technically half Jewish herself. He stayed. Got arrested a few years later and sent to Auschwitz. Everyone in his family died—he was the only survivor.” He looked up, his eyes watering. “I think the guilt ate at him for years until he couldn’t take it anymore, so he shot himself. Three days after my birthday. Mama got real paranoid because my father was very close to him, as he was also the sole survivor in his family. She was scared he’d do the same thing. My sister Anna and I were too young to understand why.” He wiped his face and looked up. “Trauma stays with you. When Ronnie says that he’s over what happened in Vietnam? He’s lying. It’s still eating at him. I know it is for me, and I didn’t go through half of the shit he did.”

Bian grabbed his hand, squeezing it affectionately. “Has he ever seen or talked to someone about it? Like a mental doctor?”

Jennifer shook her head. “I-I don’t know what to do,” she admitted, her voice breaking. 

Bian hugged her. She welcomed it.

Scott swallowed. “Does schizophrenia run in your family, Mary?”

Mary wiped her face and sniffed. “No, but uh his great grandfather and me mother-in-law’s brother was.” She cocked her head. “Ya think he might be?”

He nodded. “He… he told me on July 4th that he sees his first wife. Since he’s told me, I’ve noticed he’s almost always staring like there’s someone there, and sometimes if you have a conversation with him, it’s like he’s also listening to another person. It’s been going on for a while, but I don’t know how bad it is.”

A fresh stream of tears washed Mary’s face, but she didn’t speak. 

Jennifer rubbed her face, choking down a cry. “If he went to a mental hospital… they would have to sedate him to get him. He wouldn’t go willingly. I don’t want the kids to see that.”

 

***

 

It was cold, and the breeze ran straight through Scott’s jacket, but he didn’t care. He needed a smoke. He watched as smoke left his mouth into the night sky. Toby was sitting next to him, letting his ear be scratched. Even he could sense something was wrong. 

He tapped his cigarette on his chair's arm and sighed. He felt like a thousand things were going on in his life, and he had control over exactly none. His career, his love life… Ronnie’s life. 

“Scott?”

He turned his head and saw Mary. She was wearing a frayed red robe, and her hair was done up in curlers. 

He put out his cigarette. “I’ll be leaving soon,” he muttered, assuming she was wondering why he was still there.

“No, it’s fine,” She insisted, sitting in the chair next to him. Her lips were trembling. “I want to talk to ya.”

He gulped loudly. 

She went straight to the point. “How would ya describe yer relationship with my son and daughter-in-law? Be honest, Scott. There is not much that can shock me anymore.”

Scott looked at his lap. “Intimate. Sexual.” He cocked his head. “It could be romantic. I want it to be. But… today’s the first time I’ve seen Ronnie properly standing and walking and wearing actual clothes since August.” He bit his lip. “Jennifer’s right to be paranoid. A suicidal man doesn’t get better within a few hours. It seems fake. I can see how dead he looks.” He looked at Mary, her face enigmatic. “I’m sorry. You must be disgusted.”

“I’ve had my suspicions for a while, sweetheart,” she replied honestly, pursing her lips. “Which one of the twins is yours? Or both?”

“Donoma—I’m her biological father. Her last name is Stern—but Patrick—they’re both… ours.”

She nodded. “Whether we are truly related or not, she is still my granddaughter.”

He ruffled Toby’s ears. “I know I was a shitty husband to Beth. There’s no excuses. I fucked up big time. But… but I won’t do that to either of them. I-I love them. I never realized you could love someone this much, much less two people,” he whispered, more to himself than to his former mother-in-law.

Mary didn’t reply, only reaching out and squeezing his hand affectionately. 

 

***

 

Scott opened his eyes to see a blanket over his body and Jennifer standing over him. He vaguely remembered crashing onto the couch around 11. It was still dark in the house, so he assumed it was before 6:30.

“Hey,” she greeted, sitting next to him as he sat up.

“Uh, I didn’t mean to crash. Sorry. Thanks for the blanket.”

“Don’t be.” She took his hand. Her hands were warm. “Can you stay over today?”

“I have a dinner I need to go to, but I’m free until four.”

Jennifer swallowed. “Mary’s gonna take Benjamin to school while I take August and the twins to daycare. She said she’d like to visit an old friend of hers. She won’t be gone for more than a few hours.”

He nodded, rubbing his face. “How is he?”

She leaned into the couch. “We had sex last night. First time since fucking April.”

Scott swallowed. “How was it?”

“Depressing,” she admitted. “I started crying, and then he did, and we ended with him holding me. He was saying stuff in Irish.”

“I… I don’t think that’s a good thing.”

She sighed, and he could tell she was trying not to cry. “Keep an eye on him, please.”

“I will,” he promised, leaning forward and giving her a peck on the lips. 

Scott didn’t venture into the master bedroom until all the women and children were gone. He drank a cup of coffee before he wandered into the bedroom.

Ronnie was sitting on the bed, smoking. Scott had seen corpses who looked more alive than he did. He almost looked like he was in pain. 

“Just me and you.”

He looked up, and his facial expression immediately changed. A mask. “Did you sleep here?”

“I accidentally fell asleep on the couch.”

His eyes were bloodshot. “Hmm.”

Scott sat on the bed next to him. “Can I bum one off you?”

Ronnie silently handed him the pack of Marlboro and his lighter. He put one in his mouth and lit it, setting the cigarettes and lighter behind him. They tasted stale, old. Scott wondered just how old they were. 

He waited until half of his cigarette was gone before he spoke again. “You know I’m here for you, right?”

Ronnie closed his eyes. “Last week… did you really mean that, or were you just saying that?”

“I meant it.” He swallowed. “I still do.”

The older man put out his cigarette. His hands were shaking. “I… do too.”

Scott’s heart stopped. He put out his cigarette as fast as he could, burning his finger slightly, but he didn’t care. He looked at Ronnie, whose mask was cracking.

Ronnie touched Scott’s cheek, rough from a two day stubble. Scott turned toward his hand, leaning forward until their foreheads were touching. 

Ronnie’s thumb brushed across his lips. “If there’s one thing I want you to know… I love you, and I have for some time.”

Scott choked on his breath as he rushed forward and kissed him. His lips tasted like nicotine, and Scott drank it in. He inhaled his familiar scent like it was the most wonderful thing he’d ever smelled. 

He broke away and cupped Ronnie’s face with both of his hands. His eyes were watery, and he could see Ronnie’s dark blue ones were the same. “Oh god, I love you,” he cried as he kissed him again. 

Ronnie kissed him back with a passion that Scott hadn’t seen in him in a long time. He took in the taste of stale nicotine, licking and nipping the other man’s lips. His hand moved from Ronnie’s face to the collar of his shirt. He pushed him down into the bed, hovering over him. 

Ronnie looked at him, changing emotions on his face, none of them lust or want, but he still tugged at Scott’s t-shirt, motioning to take it off. 

Scott did, pulling off his shirt and diving toward his body as their lips made contact again. He unbuttoned Ronnie’s shirt, moving from his face to chest, kissing each new exposed spot. He would worship his flesh, his skin. Anything and everything of him. He gently undid his jeans and pulled them to his knees, surging back to kiss him again.

He felt Ronnie’s hands running through his hair, moving down his back and his jeans, which he unzipped and pulled down too, along with Scott’s underwear. Scott wriggled out his jeans and kicked them off the bed, pulling off Ronnie’s when he finished his. 

Ronnie had lost weight since the last time he’d seen him naked. The overall muscular tone was gone, and he just looked thin. He embraced his lover, wrapping his arms around him, pulling him as close to his body as he could, finding sex wasn’t on his mind at all. 

Ronnie buried his face into his neck, and his hand wrapped around Scott’s semi-hard cock. Scott gasped at the touch, bucking his hips. His own hand found Ronnie’s, gripping it firmly. Their legs intercrossed, and Scott rested his head on Ronnie’s, gasping as they started to jerk each other off.

Scott wasn’t consumed by the passionate lust he normally had during sex but rather by an empty, sad feeling. An urge to cry. He kissed Ronnie’s hair, closing his eyes. He wrapped his hand around his cock, pressed hard against him, and increased his pace. 

“I love you,” he uttered. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he repeated, chanting like it was a prayer. He would never not tell him how he felt. He would say how much he loved him every time he saw him. Ronnie loved him back. 

Ronnie groaned in reply, sniffling loudly. He bucked his hips thrice before he came into Scott’s hand, gasping and whimpering. Scott followed shortly after, unable to hold himself. 

When Scott leaned back to the mess they’d made, he could see tears in Ronnie’s eyes, and he found himself blinking out his own. After a few minutes, he grabbed his t-shirt, using it to hastily clean them both. Ronnie fell back into the bed, not bothering to put his clothes back on. Neither did Scott.

He laid back down and wrapped his arms around Ronnie, pulling him to his chest. The older man rested quietly, closing his eyes as his breathing grew steady. Scott held him as tight he could, afraid that he would have to let go. Maybe he would stay if he felt safe and protected. He hoped Ronnie would stay with him in this moment, in his arms, in the quiet post-sex haze. It wouldn’t last, he knew it, but Scott still believed in hope.

 

***

 

Jennifer yawned, gently placing the now swaddled Patrick into his crib. He had fallen asleep while she was breastfeeding him. She kissed his little forehead gently and went over to Donoma’s crib. Donoma stared back at her mother. She was stubborn, like both of her fathers. 

Fathers. Jennifer was still adjusting to that, even in her head. She kissed Donoma’s forehead. “Good night, honey,” she whispered.

She found Mary standing in the hallway as she closed the door to the nursery. She was in her pajamas, ready to sleep. Jennifer was as well, glad that New York schools gave Yom Kippur off, eager to try to sleep longer, unless, of course, her paranoia kept her up all night, which it usually did. 

“Going to bed?” Mary asked.

She nodded as her mother-in-law hugged her tightly. Sometimes she forgot how short Mary was compared to her, noticing she had to look up to talk to her. 

“How’s Shannon?” Jennifer whispered, crossing her arms together.

“She’s fine… I told her the extent of why I’m here. I didn’t want to hide the truth anymore. She wants to come up now.” Mary pursed her lips. “I used to think suicide was the worst sin someone could do… but now? I don’t know. My faith has changed in the last few years.” She swallowed. “As a mother, ya want to do anything to keep yer child safe, but watching Ronnie slip away and being able to do nothing? Why would God allow such suffering?”

Jennifer stared at her. She looked tired. 

“I feel like a failure,” She whimpered. “Did I do something wrong?”

“I would protest, but truthfully, I feel the same.”

Mary wiped her face and pulled Jennifer to her height so she could kiss her cheek. “Good night, gra.”

Ronnie was lying in bed asleep, or at least pretending to be. The sheets smelled faintly of sex, not from last night’s encounter, but something more recent. Perhaps Scott had cheered him up somehow. She hoped he did. 

She kissed the top of his head before crawling into their bed, pulling the blankets over herself. She reached out her right arm to grab his wrist. She did it every night to make sure he was there. She wanted to stay up longer and make sure he was actually sleeping, but sleep came over her as it always did in the most inconvenient times, and she passed out.

Jennifer didn’t know if it was fate or willpower, but she suddenly woke up, the grip on Ronnie’s wrist gone. She turned and saw he wasn’t in bed, but the bathroom light was on, and its door was closed.

Sheer terror washed through her as she leaped out of bed and tried to open the door. It was locked. Her breathing grew erratic. “Ronnie? Ronnie, open the door. Oh god, please open the door,” she whimpered, reaching for the little bathroom key on top of the doorway and unlocking and opening the door. 

Ronnie knelt in the center of the bathroom, between the tub and the shower. His face was deathly pale, and the sleeves of his navy blue shirt were stained a darker color. In his hand, he held a gun, aimed at his face.

“No!”

He looked up, and she could see the stream of emotions on his face. Hate, self-loathing, despair. He was crying.

“Ronnie,” she began gently, “put the gun down, baby.”

His hands and head were shaking. “I can’t do it anymore.”

Jennifer nodded, taking a tiny baby step closer. “I know, but we’re gonna do it together, okay? Me, you, and Scott.”

“I can’t, Jen,” he cried.

“You can.”

He shook his head. 

Jennifer gasped, starting to cry. “God, Ronnie, you can’t leave me. Wha-what about the kids? Who’s gonna be their father? Ben-Benjamin’s and August’s mothers are dead. If you die, they’ll be orphans. I still haven’t gotten legal custody of August. What-what if they take him away from me because the papers haven’t gone through yet? August just lost his mother. He-he can’t lose you too.”

Ronnie’s face was streaked in tears, the gun wavering from his head. “I have to—please, I need to make them stop.”

“Make who stop?”

“They won’t-they won’t leave me alone. I deserve to die. I’m-I’m a monster, Jen.”

Jennifer fell to her knees as she slowly inched closer to Ronnie, realizing the dark stains on his sleeves were blood. Behind him, she could see a bloody knife, and there was blood all over his hands. 

“Give me the gun, Ronnie. I-I need to call 911.”

He shook his head. “I need to make sure it’s done. I need to make the voices stop. I need to make him stop. They all need to go away. They’re still here, telling me to die. I need to listen to them for once. They’re right. They always were.”

Horrified, and with all the strength she could muster, she reached for the gun and yanked it out of his hand, tossing it as far away from him as she could. 

Ronnie broke down sobbing as she grabbed him, pulling him into her arms. She could see deep cuts on his wrists, drowning in blood. He hit veins. She could feel him slump in her arms.

“I had to make sure—I had to make sure they would stop,” he whispered, his eyes growing glassy.

“Shhh,” she cried, pulling him closer to her as he started to fall unconscious from blood loss. “No, no, no, you can’t die on me!” She screamed, shaking his body. “NO, PLEASE!” Jennifer begged as he went limp in her arms, covered in his blood. 

 

 

End of Part V

Notes:

CW: suicide attempt, bloody but descriptions of wounds are not described.

Chapter 113: Now You Know (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

Beth deals with her guilt and the birth of a son after Ronnie’s attempt. Jennifer and Scott speak to the head doctor.

CW: Period typical homophobia and attitudes, mention of suicide attempt, discussion of past suicide attempt, discussion of mental health and illness,

Notes:

last part holy shit! i also promise this will not be ending like the last part. sorry about that. heh...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Part VI: Love

January 19th, 1979 - December 31st, 1979

 

 

 

Chapter 113: Now You Know

 

Friday, January 19th, 1979, Houston, Texas



The hospital at night was quiet. The busy voices in the day were now hushed or gone. There was an element of sadness in the quiet of a hospital. Beth wondered how many people were dying at that very moment, all alone, after visiting hours. 

She hated hospitals. 

They had moved her into a tiny private room shortly after birth. Christopher Connor Alders was born two weeks early, five days ago; the doctor said it was from stress. Beth knew it was the guilt that had plagued her mind since the phone call in October. 

The phone had rang early that morning, waking both she and Laurie from sleep. He’d answered it, and she had watched his face turn from groggy to pale and shocked. The call wasn’t even two minutes before he hung up.

“What? What happened?” Beth had yawned.

There were tears on his face. She had never seen him cry before. “That… was um your mother.”

Beth sat up. “Laurence, what happened?”

“R-Ronnie’s in the hospital. He-uh tried-” He broke off, his voice cracking. Laurie shut his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “To kill himself.”

Beth felt her chest drop, and all the air in her lungs escaped her. If she had not been sitting in bed, she would have fallen. “...Wh-wh-what? Is he alright? Oh my gosh,” she gasped, covering her mouth.

Laurie had sat back down on the bed as he freely began to cry. “Mary doesn’t know.”

Guilt had plagued her since. She had practically yet again disowned him, and then, all of a sudden, everything came at her all at once. She hadn’t gone up to New York, and neither had Laurie. Instead, they waited for phone calls from her mother. Jennifer didn’t even bother to call. Why would she? They were estranged. 

Her own life was perfect, and it made her feel worse. Christopher had been born early, but he was healthy, and in the morning, Laurie would come and take them both home. Rosie was starting pre-k in the fall, Laura was beginning to walk without help, and now, they had a baby boy with two mentally sound parents.

Ronnie had attempted suicide. Her big brother had tried to end his life. And it wasn’t the first time. Had the way she’d treated him driven him to end his life? Was it her fault? How much had it impacted him?

When sunlight drifted into the windows, Beth was still awake. The pains in her chest and the unbearable weight of remorse rarely let her sleep. The nurse brought in Christopher, bundled up and ready to go home. Like his father, Christopher had brown hair and green eyes, but his facial features were more like Beth’s, and he had the nose he shared with his mother and her two siblings. 

Barbara and Laurie arrived after 9, dropping off Rosie and Laura at preschool and daycare. Mary hadn’t been there, unable to come due to the expenses, having spent nearly two months in New York. She had called instead and wished her congratulations, though she sounded exhausted. Beth almost wished her mother had acted more excited about another grandson, Beth’s first son. 

“He’s wonderful,” Barbara told her as they stepped outside. It was chilly, though nothing compared to Nebraska in January. It was almost pitiful. 

“Thanks,” Beth replied, holding Christopher tighter. She had the urge to pray the rosary. Fridays were the Sorrowful Mysteries, the arrest, torture, and death of Christ. It was fitting for the mood she felt. 

Mary had postpartum depression after Shannon was born. Beth remembered it vaguely, only memories of her mother isolating herself with her sister. She felt a sort of emptiness in her and wondered if it was what her mother felt all those years ago. But Beth was sure her feelings were already there before Christopher’s birth. No, she thought it was from her shame and contrition. She had thought her actions were right, and she still did, but Ronnie had attempted to end his life regardless. From what Mary had told her, he hadn’t even left a suicide note, a final goodbye. 

She prayed to God that her children would never end up in such feelings of desperation and hollowness, closing her eyes as it began to rain. 

 

Twenty Minutes Outside of Bedford Hills, New York

 

“You alright?” Scott asked as they got off the main highway.

Jennifer nodded, looking at the greenery outside, much different than the concrete jungle of New York. “Just thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

“Everything,” she muttered, her mind drifting back to the same events it had replayed over and over again since October. 

Mary had heard her screams and called 911 even before she had stepped foot in the bedroom. Perhaps she had known she would have been as frozen as Jennifer if she had stepped in before and taken in the scene. 

The paramedics had to pull her off his body, covered his own blood and her tears. They were kind enough to let her ride in the ambulance. She made tearful eye contact with Benjamin, who’d woken up to the sirens and saw his father being carried away on a stretcher. 

When they got to the hospital, and he became out of reach, Jennifer, dazed, had gone to the phone and called the only number she could.

Scott had listened to her loud, sniffly breathing for a minute before he quietly asked, “Which hospital?”

Ronnie had woken up two days later while Scott stayed and watched as Jennifer went home to sleep and bathe and comfort her children. He’d woken, Scott asleep on the couch. When Scott suddenly jolted awake and saw the hospital bed empty, he called the nurse. They found him, stitches ripped, seizing from a fentanyl overdose, which he had stolen from the nearby medicine cabinet near his room. She’d wept in Scott’s arms upon learning he’d attempted suicide again in the hospital.

Ronnie was moved to a different floor and restrained, which made him panic and cry, struggling to move as he begged them both to kill him and make it stop. Eventually, she couldn’t go into the room, afraid she would honor his begging plea. 

At the beginning of November, he was moved to a private mental hospital Scott had heard of from a friend in Bedford Hills, far outside the big city. He’d been there since, no visitors allowed, even when it was Christmas.  

Today they were to meet the head doctor, and if he felt Ronnie was well enough, they would see him too. Jennifer, normally not religious, prayed that they would see him. 

The hospital was small, settled by a small lake, and surrounded by woods. It looked like a countryside manor, minus the part where guards and patients were roaming. 

The pair parked and were led to the visitor’s office, where they explained they had an appointment with Dr. Whittaker, the head doctor. Two orderlies led them to a large office decorated with oak furniture and shelves filled with books. Behind the desk was a man in his early fifties with curly grey hair and rectangular glasses. 

He stood up as they stepped inside. “Hello, you must be Mrs. McKittrick.” He turned to Scott. “And you are?”

“Scott Stern. I’m paying.”

“Ah, thought I recognized you. My daughter has a poster of you.”

His ears turned pink. “Uh… I can sign something later if you want.”

Dr. Whittaker smiled. “You’re very kind, thank you.” He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. “Please, sit. We have much to speak about.”

They sat as he took his place behind the desk. In front of him were papers. Jennifer could see Ronnie’s full name on some of them. Dr. Whittaker folded his hands together and sighed. “We have much to discuss, Mrs. McKittrick. And I suppose you too, Mr. Stern, as you are here as well. I want to warn you, what I am going to say will be blunt, but I’d rather not sugarcoat the truth. Understand?”

“Yes.”

Scott nodded.

“Ronnie will be on medication for the rest of his life. It is not the kind where one is weaned off slowly. He will be on it until his death, which I hope will be many years from now. Ronnie has major depressive order, which is the fancy term for clinical depression. He has schizophrenia—genetic, though I doubt serving in Vietnam helped, and a new term we call PTSD.”

Jennifer blinked.

“PT-what?” Scott asked.

“PTSD. It stands for post-traumatic stress disorder. It is a relatively new coined term, only now being published in studies. It will be listed officially in next year’s DSM-III, courtesy of yours truly. It is essentially shell shock, but this can apply to any traumatic event in a person’s life that causes them to relive the events, whether in nightmares, physical and mental distress, and much more. We began to look at other Vietnam veterans and study their so-called shell shock, but post-traumatic stress disorder is not just warfare. In a simple sentence, he has heavy mental scars from the war.” He pushed up his glasses. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes,” Jennifer whispered, wiping her face, regretting that she’d worn makeup. “I’m sorry. You’re not told every day your husband is clinically insane.”

Scott took her hand and rubbed it gently. “Um, does this PTSD affect his schizophrenia, or did it like cause it?”

“No, they’re two different disorders, but I will say the war and the trauma from it affected what exactly he sees and hears, but even if he hadn’t served in Vietnam, he would have developed it regardless.”

“So you’re saying he would’ve gotten it anyway?”

“Because it’s genetic, yes. Most cases don’t have symptoms present until early adulthood, so even if Ronnie acted ‘normal’ when he was younger and didn’t have these problems, it would have developed anyway. It is more likely to come from paternal genes, and your children will have a greater risk of developing it if their father has it.”

“Ho-how would we know my kids have it?”

“You won’t, which is the shitty thing about schizophrenia, as it doesn’t normally present until you’re in your twenties. The best thing is to keep an eye out, and when they’re adults, have them screened by a psychiatrist periodically, even more so if they have other mental disorders.”

She swallowed loudly, clutching Scott’s hand tighter. “I see.”

Dr. Whittaker sighed. “Would you like to take a step outside for a moment? I understand this is hard to hear.”

“No. No, it’s better I hear this now, considering I will be dealing with it later.”

The doctor nodded. “Other mental disorders are more likely to develop, in Ronnie’s case, major depressive disorder. This will factor into his physical health, as well as the likelihood of suicide and a life expectancy shortened by about twenty years. He is more likely to have cardiovascular diseases, and since he is a smoker, this will only increase the likelihood of such.” He raised his hands. “However, that does not mean Ronnie won’t be able to do anything. If he’s on his meds, attends counseling, and is good about his health, then his life will be relatively normal. There is no drug or medicinal treatment for PTSD, and the best option for treatment is counseling and therapy, which he will already have due to his schizophrenia diagnosis. 

There is a lot of stigma surrounding schizophrenia, and if he wants to go back to work, he will be legally required to disclose this, and many jobs will not hire someone they think is crazy. There are new social limitations he will have to face, and that is the sad truth.” 

Jennifer nodded her head slowly. “What does he hallucinate? He was always secretive about it.”

“His first wife and then also the mother of his second eldest son after she passed in August, yes?”

“Yeah,” Scott answered.

“According to him, his first wife was purely visual at first, but as time went on, the visions he had of her became more and more realistic until she would talk and touch him and feel like a real person.”

Scott stretched his arms. “How did you get him to say that?”

Dr. Whittaker smiled. “It’s part of my job.”

“Well, you’ve told us the what and why, but I wanna know the how. How is he? You haven’t let us see him since his hospitalization.”

“It was for his health and safety. It wouldn’t have been a good idea.”

“But how is he?”

“Stubborn, wants to see his kids and both of you.” He glanced at Scott. “I didn’t realize that his Scott was you. Then the three of you are in a polyfidelitous relationship?”

“...Yes,” Jennifer hesitated. “But we’ve never sat down and talked about it together, considering Ronnie, ya know.”

“I understand. I don’t think I’ve met another ménage à trois,” he mused, making quotation marks with his fingers, “though my wife and I’s partner is a she. Been together as a trio for nearly three decades.”

Jennifer’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really? …How have you dealt with it?”

“We’ve become excellent liars in truth. I surmise you all will have to do the same.”

“Already do,” Scott mumbled. 

Dr. Whittaker glanced at his watch. “Would you like to see him? 

Her heart skipped a beat. “When?”

“In about a minute,” he replied, standing. “I can give you all twenty minutes of privacy, no more.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “No, of course, I understand.”

“Thank you,” Scott said, standing to shake his hand. 

The doctor walked to the door and was about to open it when it swung open, and a nurse was standing with a tall man with black hair and white clothes. 

Ronnie’s eyes lit up in delight seeing the two of them as Dr. Whittaker smiled, closing the door behind him.

Jennifer rushed to her husband and embraced him tightly. She shut her eyes and inhaled. She felt his hand around her back as he sighed deeply. She heard footsteps behind her and another pair of arms surrounding her as she heard the sound of lips meeting. 

She opened her eyes and saw them kissing, and her heart warmed. She stepped back and took their hands, smiling gently. “Hi, baby.”

Ronnie laughed lightly, nodding as his eyes watered. “Hi.” He glanced at Scott. “Hi to you too.”

Scott kissed his cheek. “Hi.”

Jennifer’s eyes wandered, sizing up her husband. He’d gained weight and looked far healthier than he had in October. His shirt was long-sleeved, stopping before his wrists. The shirt was likely supposed to be longer, but Ronnie was a giant. Where the sleeves ended, Jennifer could see two pink scars across his wrists.

She looked up. She didn’t want to look at them, she decided, wrapping her hand around the hand she was holding’s wrist, hiding it. Jennifer looked into his eyes and smiled.

Notes:

scott immediately knowing what happened as soon as jennifer called... yeah I'm evil BUT hey my little meow meow ronnie is okay!!!

For Context

PTSD --> A relatively new term, and not did appear as a diagnosable mental disorder until 1980, when the third edition of DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) came out.

Polyfidelitous --> The term polyamorous wasn't coined until the 90s, so polyfidelitous was the term used, though polyfidelitous means a closed relationship with more than two people, like group marriage. all polyfidelitous people are polyamorous, but not all polyamorous folk are polyfidelitous.

...my search history for this chapter was certainly interesting

Chapter 114: Conscience (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

Ronnie speaks to Dr. Whittaker before he has a visitor.

CW: Discussion of past childhood abuse, past war trauma/survivor's guilt, past torture, past rape, past suicide, and a bit of self-victim blaming

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 114: Conscience 

 

Wednesday, February 7th, 1979, Bedford Hills, New York




The hardest part was getting used to the silence. The voices had become normal, part of life, and it was too quiet now they were gone. Rooms were filled with silence, and in all his life, he felt he had never been more alone. 

He didn’t see them anymore. Nguyệt, who’d plagued his walking and sleeping vision for over six years, and Valentina for two months, were gone. Even after over three months, he still expected to see them when he woke up in the mornings. 

The nightmares hadn’t gone away. Dr. Whittaker had told him that there was no medicine for it. In time, they would dull, depending on his mental and physical health. He’d asked for sleeping pills, but they told him no due to prior abuse. It was annoying. It wasn’t like he asked to be addicted to them. 

Ronnie didn’t like the ward. It felt like the POW camp with its strict rules, uniforms, and food. There was an alarm to wake people up and a certain time to eat. At least the food was decent.

He took his pills in the morning, Elavil for his depression, and Haldol for the crazy. When he first arrived, they had to force him to take them. Now he thanked the nurse when she gave them to him. 

It was strange that two simple pills could change everything. When Ronnie had seen Scott and Jennifer, he’d been genuinely happy. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt that way. He welcomed the change with open arms. 

He walked the halls, allowed to do so after being deemed sane and not likely to harm himself. It was a special privilege to even walk alone here. He wanted to tell Dr. Whittaker that this was just prison 2.0. 

He kept to himself. Normally, they had group sessions, but they took Ronnie’s threat seriously when he told them he’d try to hang himself rather than attend group therapy. He was serious at the time, but now? He’d keep it to himself, still not wanting to go to group therapy. 

He wasn’t like the other patients, or that was what he told himself. Maybe it was hypocritical and rude, but he didn’t care. Even if he was now medicated, the social battery he used to have ran out a long time ago, and he didn’t feel the need to drown himself in conversation and people. Especially crazy people. He was more than fine with the people already in his life, eager to see them again. 

A nurse found him in the library and reminded him of the appointment he had with Whittaker. Ronnie nodded and followed her, standing outside his office and picking at his nails until the door opened.

“Good morning, Ronnie,” Dr. Whittaker greeted.

“Morning,” he muttered, sitting on the couch near the bookshelves. It was brown and made of leather.

The doctor closed the door. “How is your morning so far?”

Ronnie shrugged. He wanted a smoke. “I walked around.” He looked up at the doctor as he sat on the armchair across from him, holding a notepad and pen. “I miss my fucking kids. When can I leave?”

“When I deem that you are mentally stable enough to do so.”

“And do you think I am?”

“Do you?”

He swallowed. “I don’t wanna kill myself anymore. …The power of drugs.”

Dr. Whittaker snorted. “Indeed,” he answered, writing something on his pad. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“If you can tell me why you’re here in explicit detail, then I will call your wife tomorrow, and you can be out of here on Sunday.”

His eyes widened. “Really?”

The doctor nodded. “I’ll swear on my Hippocratic Oath.” He pointed the pen at him. “But that means you have to talk.”

Ronnie gulped and flexed his fingers. It was ironic that what stood between him and getting out was the very thing that landed him there in the first place. “I… my father was an asshole, angry that he had to exile himself from his home country and cause for independence and took it out on me. It was physical and emotional. Definitely left its mark. My childhood trauma’s effects got worse after ‘Nam. I… I have survivor’s guilt, I’m too scared to talk about anything, and I have difficulty trusting people, hence why I ended up here.”

“Why do you think you can’t trust people?”

He gave the psychiatrist a look.

“I’m not a mind reader, Ronnie.”

He sighed. “I don’t know, I-I gave out top-secret information, and I still feel guilty about it.”

“Spilling secrets and being tortured for information are two very different things.”

“I… I’m afraid to trust people because I don’t want them to get hurt. I don’t want to get hurt either,” he added quietly.

Dr. Whittaker wrote some notes down and looked back up. “What is the biggest thing that’s affected you?”

Ronnie looked at his feet, his face burning in shame. “Do I have to say it?”

“Yes.” His tone was gentle but insistent. 

“Being… raped,” he whispered, “and not even recalling it until I was in… a similar sexual position. I would have sex with pretty much anyone I found slightly attractive to overwhelm the feeling I sometimes got.”

“What was the feeling?”

“Disgust,” he answered plainly.

“At who?”

“Myself.”

“Why?”

“Because I let myself get into that. Because I thought it was my fault for what happened.” It was my fault. 

“Do you still feel that way?”

“No,” he lied.

Whittaker gave him a look, pulled down his glasses, and cocked a brow. He set his notepad down. It was the same face his mother used to give him when she didn’t believe him.

The air in the office smelled like books, far different than the rest of the hospital. It felt more welcoming, away from the insanity and distinct hospital smell. Maybe that was the point. A way to lure you in and whisper all your secrets. It certainly worked. 

“...Yes,” he finally answered, his voice barely a whisper. “I could have controlled myself. I let my anger get the best of me, as it always does, and I did something violent. Look where it got me.”

“You blame yourself for things you had no control over. Your father’s abuse, your first wife’s death, what the lieutenant colonel did to you… it wasn’t your fault.”

Ronnie looked at his wrists, the two pinked scars where his arms connected at his hands. They were smaller, neater versions of the scar on his leg. They were another reminder of his past and actions. New scars to look at and wonder why God let him survive. 

“I want you to say it,” Dr. Whittaker said, shaking him out of his thoughts. “That it’s not your fault.”

He looked up. “Even if I don’t believe it?”

“Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.”

Ronnie snorted and made a pfft sound. 

He shrugged. “Sometimes, when you say something enough times, you’ll start to believe it.”

“I guess.”

“What do you think is my professional assessment of you?”

“Is this my final test?”

Dr. Whittaker shrugged, almost amused. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. That’s for you to decide.”

Ronnie sighed and laughed, rolling his eyes. “...I’m a schizophrenic, depressed veteran with PTSD, severe trust issues, and a complex to please people while also being extremely impulsive and stubborn. I use sex and drugs as means to an end, and I don’t… I don’t think I’ll ever swim again.” He swallowed. “Oh yeah, I also simultaneously have low self-esteem and a really big ego.”

He put down his notepad and capped his pen, grinning proudly. “You would have never said this four months ago.”

“Four months ago, I had to be restrained.” He stared at the wall behind the doctor. “I would try to hurt myself ‘cause I was manic and wanted to die.” He paused. “A lot.”

“Tomorrow, we’ll have a conversation about adjusting and living in the real world again.”

Ronnie smiled. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really. You’re going home, Mr. McKittrick.”

There was a knock on the door not a split second later, and both turned their heads.

“Come in,” Dr. Whittaker answered.

A nurse popped her head in. “Doctor, I’m so sorry to bother you during a session.”

“No, it’s fine. We were just finishing, in fact.”

She looked relieved. “Oh good.” She turned her head to Ronnie. “You have a visitor.”

“I do?”

“Mhmm.”

“We’ll finish this conversation later,” the doctor said, answering the unasked question. 

“Thank you.”

The nurse led Ronnie to the general area, where he saw a tall blond man standing alone, holding Ronnie’s tan wool coat.

He smiled as Scott turned. “What are you doing here?”

The blond shrugged. “Felt bad about missing your birthday,” he said, hugging Ronnie. “Also wanted to see you,” he added, lowering his voice.

Ronnie took the coat from his arms. “Seeing as you brought my coat, wanna go on a walk?”

“Are we allowed to?”

“Yeah.”

It was warm for February, and most of the snow had melted, the remaining in small patches across the grass. There were other people outside, but most stayed indoors during the winter.

“I brought you something,” Scott told him as they walked on a concrete path.

“What?”

He pulled a pack of Marlboro from his pocket. “I gave security ten bucks to let me keep it.

Ronnie grinned. 

They found a bench away from everyone and sat down. It was made of wood and weathered from usage, leaving groves where people sat. He wondered how old it was. 

Ronnie handed the lighter back to Scott and sighed, inhaling the cigarette smoke. “Guess what.”

“What?”

“Doc says I can go home on Sunday.”

Scott jerked his head. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Officially deemed not insane and suicidal.”

“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me.”

“Don’t tell Jennifer. Dr. Whittaker is gonna call her tomorrow.”

He nodded. “Ya know, this seems very similar to the first real conversation we had. It was in winter, on a bench, outside a hospital.”

“Well, this is a loony bin, not a government hospital. And I hope Beth didn’t force you to come.”

He laughed. “No. To tell the truth, I haven’t talked to your sister since October.”

Ronnie frowned. “What about Rosie?”

“Well, my 73 days were already up anyway. I’ll probably call her next week and plan when I can have her.”

“Only 73 days?”

“Yeah. I agreed to have no other time last year so I could have the summer with her, but I bet she won’t agree to that again.”

“That’s fucking insane you have her less than ten and half weeks in total every year.”

“Tours usually take three to six months, and with my past drug abuse, I was lucky to get twenty percent.”

“She could’ve given you at least a hundred days.”

He shrugged. “I take every opportunity I can with her. I feel more guilty now since I’m always with Donoma and Patrick, but I don’t have the energy to go to court and fight for more custody time.”

“How are the kids?”

“Benjamin and August miss you a lot. Keep asking where their dad is and when they can see you.”

“What do you tell them?”

“A watered-down truth. You’re in the hospital because your brain is sick.”

He swallowed. “And the twins?”

Scott smiled. “Seven months. They’re sleeping all night now, which is a lifesaver. They’re starting to eat cereal and baby food, and they’ve both started teething, so Jennifer keeps some of their toys in the freezer. They’re sitting up unsupported and can roll over. Donoma’s starting to crawl, but Patrick’s a bit behind his sister.”

A pang of sadness hit Ronnie. “Ya know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen my kids do that. I didn’t see Benjamin for nearly a year, August, I only saw a few times at that age, and now I’ve missed Donoma and Patrick. Would they even recognize me?”

“Benjamin did after a year apart.”

“Benjamin’s Benjamin.”

“True.” Scott scooted closer to him. “Hey.”

Ronnie raised a brow. “Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He tapped his cigarette on his knee. “Do you, now?”

“Yeah, asshole, I do.” He leaned into his ear. “And I’m gonna tell you every waking moment I can.”

He put his cigarette back in his mouth and smiled. “I love you too. And I think I’ll do the same.”

“When did you realize?”

“October 7th, 1977.”

“Of course. It’s our date of infamy.”

He chuckled lightly. “It was before you picked Jennifer and me up. I was eating breakfast, thinking about shit, and I realized I felt the same about you and Jennifer. A minute later, she had me come out to her.”

“She is very good about getting you to tell her stuff.”

“Yeah. When did you realize?”

“When you told me you were moving to New York. I was so excited and happy when you said you were moving, and then this feeling of devastation when you told me Jennifer was coming too. I was very jealous of her. Wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t. Made me feel worse. I went to the bathroom to cool off, and I remember standing in the mirror, asking myself why the fuck I was acting like that, and then it hit me: I was in love with you.”

“That fight we had later that night suddenly makes a lot more sense.”

“Yeah.” Scott blew out smoke. “Ironic now, considering I feel the same about Jennifer.”

“You do?”

“You’ve missed a lot. She confessed her feelings for me after Valentina’s funeral. I told her I felt the same about a month later.”

“So… you’re not gay?”

He tapped his cigarette on his knee. “I guess. I’m still more attracted to guys sexually, but uh yeah, Jennifer.”

“That’s a valid answer.”

The blond laughed. 

“Have you had sex with her? Just her?”

He nodded. “Just once, back in September. We haven’t done anything since.”

“Do you want to?”

“Well yeah, but… it felt wrong to do anything while you were in the hospital or here.” 

Ronnie took out his cigarette and exhaled smoke. “I haven’t felt sexually voracious in a while. Got so depressed I lost interest in it. Antidepressants don’t help with libido either.”

“Do you want to have sex? In general?”

“Yes. You know me, a major slut.”

He chuckled. “I think all three of us are.”

“I miss being horny. It’s such a stupid thing to miss, but I do. I’m glad I’m not a sex addict anymore, but I miss how charming and talkative I was. It was fun while it lasted.”

“Do you know what your body count is?”

“When I met you, I’d only fucked a whooping total of two people. Now… somewhere in the eighties. And I haven’t fucked anyone new since September 1976.”

“Honestly, that’s impressive.”

“Yours is probably in the hundreds.”

“Yeah, but people fuck me because I’m rich and famous. I could be ugly as fuck, and I’d still have people all over me. You had all these people over you because they thought you were hot, and you charmed them into sex—absolutely nothing to do with being a celebrity. More impressive in my opinion. And it’s in the 400s.”

Ronnie gave him a look. “You’ve fucked over 400 people? When was the last time you had an STD test?”

“I’m clean, asshole—I just used to go to orgies. Besides, Mick Jagger told me he’s definitely in the 900s.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“That’s what I told him.”

Ronnie laughed as he put out his cigarette, tossing the stub into the grass. “I’m not gonna be sober. That’s one thing I can tell you right now.”

“The doctor at the hospital said it was a miracle you don’t have a fatty liver.”

“I can’t do it. I can’t be sober. I mean—I won’t do drugs or shit like that. Maybe weed, but that doesn’t count. Hard liquors for special circumstances only… but with shit like wine and beer? I won’t lay off them. I can’t. I’ve been sober, and I was fucking miserable. I’m an alcoholic, I admit it. But it won’t ever be like it was before, okay?”

“I still smoke weed and drink. I can’t say anything.”

Ronnie nodded and sighed, touching Scott’s knee with his own. Scott leaned his head on Ronnie’s shoulder as he blew smoke from his mouth. Ronnie took the cigarette from his hand and put it in his mouth. Scott smiled as their fingers laced together. 

“I love you,” Ronnie whispered.

“Me too.”

Notes:

last night was my final show of hs and im bittersweet about it :,)

 

ronnie and scott mega sluts

also if you are curious how Scott racked up those numbers in a short time period, i see it like this:

Before 1973 --> like 13 (including Beth)
1973-1974 --> Ronnie, plus roughly 44 guys (Total 58)
1975-1976 --> Height of slut days, average like four times a week for a year and a half straight (WHORE) so that's 312 making a total of 370 (of course a rough estimate, probably higher)
1977 --> Add 30-something between Jan. to Nov. 1977 and bada bing bada boom a number in the 400-something.

For Context

Elavil --> y'all wouldn't believe the lengths I went to find an anti-depressant that was approved and in use in 1979. Prozac and Zololoft didn't come out until the 80s/90s

Haldol --> Anti-psychotic med, still the most common medicine used for schizophrenia

10$ in 1979 is about 40$ give or take

Chapter 115: Friends, Family, Lovers (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

After four months, Ronnie is released from the hospital and reunites with his family.

CW: Mention of past suicide attempt, some self-victim blaming/guilt tripping, brief mention of past traumas

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 115: Friends, Family, Lovers

 

Sunday, February 11th, 1979, Bedford Hills, New York



“Do the kids know I’m coming home?” Ronnie asked, closing the car door of Scott’s yellow Dodge Charger. 

“No,” Jennifer admitted. She was sitting behind him, wearing a UMD sweater. “It’s a surprise.”

“Who’s watching the kids then?”

Scott turned out of the hospital grounds. “Neighbor offered to.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Well, you’ll see.”

Ronnie started thinking of all the people they knew in New York, but the only person who would do something like that was Scott’s housekeeper Mandy. Maybe he’d paid her extra to babysit. 

He turned around to look at Jennifer and smiled. “Hi.”

She smiled back. “Hi.”

“I missed you.”

“Me too.”

He sniffed and turned back around. “Hey… um, tonight, let’s talk. After the kids go to bed. We’re due for a conversation we should’ve done months ago.” 

Scott nodded. “I agree.”

“Ronnie? Suggesting that we have a conversation? Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?”

Ronnie laughed. “I’m the slightly less insane version.”

“Only slightly?”

He glanced at her and shrugged. 

When they entered the city limits of NYC, Ronnie asked the question he’d been dreading to know the answer to.

“Um… when everything happened… how much did the boys see?”

Scott stayed silent.

“Well… the sirens woke the neighbors… and Benjamin. I was too hysterical to make sure he didn’t see anything,” Jennifer said quietly. “He saw you when they carried you out of the house. He hasn’t talked about it at all, but… he knows. I think he knows a lot more than he lets on.”

A pang of guilt hit Ronnie, and he sighed, looking out the window. “They told me I could have lost custody if I wasn’t married. …Child endangerment and negligence. …I made a promise when I first became a father: my kids’ childhoods would be nothing like my own, and I would do everything in my power to prevent it. Trauma free.”

Scott let one hand go off the wheel and squeezed his knee affectionately. “Ronnie, don’t blame yourself for something you had no control over. It wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s what they keep telling me,” he muttered.

What would he say to Benjamin? How would you explain to a child his father tried to end his life? Would he think it was his fault? What would he think of him?

They stayed silent for the rest of the car ride. The house looked as it always did, and he wondered how many bills they were behind, how much both hospitals had cost them. Could they even afford the house? Not with just Jennifer’s teacher salary. 

Scott’s car looked out of place, far too nice for a middle-class neighborhood. It was bright against the dull red, brown, and tan-colored houses and cars. He parked the car in the driveway and pulled the keys from the ignition. 

“Ready?”

“No.”

He felt Jennifer kiss the back of his shoulder. “You’re gonna be fine.”

He sniffed and unbuckled his seatbelt, opening the car door and getting out. He stretched his arms and shivered, crossing his arms as he walked up to the porch and knocked on the door. He felt nervous, tapping his foot in anticipation for the door to open. 

After a minute, the door swung open, and all he could hear was a gasp before his hips and legs were tackled by two little boys.

“DAD!” Benjamin yelled, flinging his arms around his father. 

“Daddy!” August cheered quieter, attaching himself to Ronnie’s leg.

Ronnie bent on one knee and scooped them up tightly, wrapping his arms around his oldest boys. He kissed both of their heads. “I’ve missed you two so much.”

“We have as well,” a familiar voice answered, and he looked up to see his mother with a big grin on her face. 

“Hi, Mama.”

Mary bent down and kissed her own son on the forehead. “Hello, mo stor.”

Ronnie stood up after a moment, picking up Benjamin and August in each arm. “You two are like elephants,” he groaned, carrying them inside.

They both giggled.

Shannon was standing in the living room, smiling sheepishly. “Surprise.”

He set the boys down. “Yeah.”

Jennifer and Scott walked in shortly after, closing the door. Ronnie gave his youngest sister a tight hug. She was taller than he remembered, almost at Jennifer’s height, about an inch shorter. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Shannon whispered. 

Ronnie swallowed, his throat starting to close up. He nodded, unable to say anything else. He heard babbling and turned to see Donoma and Patrick on the couch. His heart skipped a beat. They were so much bigger than the last time he saw them. He chuckled softly as his eyes began to water. He sat on the couch and put both of them in his lap.

Patrick and Donoma stared at him, but they didn’t start crying. Benjamin and August ran to the couch and climbed onto his back, and he couldn’t help crying tears of joy, smiling. His kids. His four beautiful, wonderful children. 

He glanced at Jennifer and Scott, who had similar facial expressions. He looked at them and stared at his mother and sister, and he knew that this was what love was supposed to feel like. 

Mary made dinner as part of the surprise. She made Irish stew and twice-baked potatoes, which made Ronnie feel like a little kid again—she always made it when she knew he was feeling down. She thanked Scott for everything he had done, and the realization came to Ronnie that Scott had not only paid the hospital bills, but he had been paying for the mortgage and water, gas, and electric bills. He felt guilty, wondering how much money he owed him, though he knew Scott wouldn’t tell him how much he had paid for that very reason. 

The way Mary spoke implied that Scott would move back out now that Ronnie was back, Ronnie having learned that he had moved in October. Scott nodded, but he gave Jennifer a knowing look. He didn’t want to move out. 

“I mean, I have to be leaving in a few days anyway,” Scott told the table, scratching his left eyebrow. 

Ronnie cocked his head. “Why?”

“Grammys. The album got nominated for nine.”

“Holy shit.”

Mary glared. “Ronnie, there are children present.”

“You shouldn’t say that word, Dad,” Benjamin told him.

He nodded. “You’re right, I shouldn’t.” He looked back at Scott. “You got nine nominations?”

“The album did. I personally got seven, but uh Producer of the Year and Best Engineered Record, Non-Classical, were other people.”

“What were you nominated for?”

Scott smiled the egotistical grin he would always smile before talking about how successful he was. “Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Male Pop Vocal Performance, Best Arrangement for Voice—the song featuring Debbie Harry, Best Album Package with James Wedge and Pete Manden, and Best Album Notes with Jennifer.”

Ronnie stared at his wife. “You got nominated for Best Album Notes?”

She shrugged. “I saw what he wrote and asked if I could make it better.” She smirked. “According to the critics, it is one the best love letters to contemporary music this decade.”

“But you don’t sing pop music.”

He shrugged. “I’ll take it.”

Shannon looked amused. “Of course you will.”

After dinner, Ronnie found himself outside smoking with Toby, who couldn’t stop wagging in excitement to him again. He crouched down and scratched his ears, happy to see his dog again. “I hope Benjamin and August haven’t tortured you too much.”

Toby just panted.

“Ronnie.”

He turned to see Shannon standing awkwardly. 

“Hmm?”

She walked over to where he was crouched and sat down on the cold wood porch. It was dark already, but the moon hadn’t risen just yet. “Can I talk to you?”

He gave Toby a final pet and sat down next to his sister. “What’s up?”

“I… kinda know about you and Scott and Jennifer.”

He gulped. “Kinda?”

“Well, I asked Scott when Jennifer went into labor if all three of you guys were a thing, and he said he didn’t know. I know he cheated on Beth with you.”

He tapped his cigarette on the wooden planks of the porch. “I never claimed to be a good person. I hurt our sister, and she can say she forgives me as many times as she wants, but I know she doesn’t. I wouldn’t.” He smiled grimly. “It’s a pretty shitty thing to do.”

“Are you bisexual?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been with a lot of men and women.”

Shannon was quiet, looking away from him. “I think I am too.”

“What?”

She sighed. “Bisexual. I think I like girls and guys.” Her face was red, and she wouldn’t make eye contact.

Well, at least I’m not the only fag in the family, he thought. Ronnie put out his cigarette and wrapped an arm around her. “Hey, look at me.”

She glanced up.

“There’s nothing wrong with us, okay? You can love whoever you want. What matters is that you’re happy.”

She nodded, sniffling. “Do… do you think Mom will hate me?”

He shook his head. “No, she won’t. She won’t hate you.”

Jennifer and Scott were sitting on the bed when he came in. He closed the door. “Do you know when Mom and Shannon leave?”

“Tomorrow,” answered Jennifer.

“And when do you leave for LA?”

“Day after tomorrow.” Scott licked his lips. “I was thinking maybe we all could go.”

“I don’t want to. I just out of a fucking mental hospital.”

“Not to the ceremony, just to LA. I think it would be good for all of us for a mini vacation. We could do Disneyland and Universal Studios. We haven’t really celebrated Benjamin’s, Jennifer’s, August’s, or your birthdays. We could make up for it.”

He sat on the end of the bed. “Ya know, just because I’m out of the loony bin doesn’t mean I’m perfectly normal again.”

Jennifer sat next to him. “We know that, honey. But wouldn’t it be nice to take a break from everything?”

Scott sat on his other side. “You should see the dress I bought for Jennifer. It’s dark yellow—really pretty.”

“Fine. We’ll make it a surprise for the boys. God knows they need it.”

Scott kissed his cheek. 

Jennifer crossed her arms and sighed. “What do you wanna talk about first? Our relationship, your trauma, our trauma…”

“Money. I won’t get upset about the hospital bills, but the mortgage and other bills—you can’t pay for everything, Scott. It’s not fair or right. We shouldn’t be leeching off of you.”

“You’re not. I want to pay them.”

“‘Cause we can’t afford it otherwise. I don’t want Benjamin or August or the twins to think it’s okay to leech off someone. I will have trouble finding a job because I have to disclose my schizophrenia diagnosis to any potential employer by law. And I don’t ever want to work in an office again. And I know we won’t be able to live here if I don’t work and if you stop paying the bills—but I don’t want to go immediately back into the workforce. I can’t.”

Jennifer began to undo her two braids. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“What if we did it by percentage? I make way more than Jennifer does, so I should pay more. Like taxes. It’s temporary, but I think it can work for now.”

“Fine. I guess for now I can stay at home. I’m a househusband.”

Jennifer laughed. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

He shrugged. 

Scott yawned. “And what about us? What are we?”

“We are… in a closed three-way relationship,” Jennifer stated. “Call it a group marriage or something, but ultimately it’s me and you two. And eventually, I would like all three of us to live together.”

The blond nodded. “I do too, but this is a… decent house,” he said after a pause, “but I love my apartment.” He patted the bed. “And this bed is really fucking uncomfortable. Not meant for three people six feet and up.”

“Or two,” Ronnie mumbled. 

“And I know moving into my apartment will cause arguments about finance, but it could be temporary.” He smiled. “I bought seventy acres of land close to Woodstock.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I almost bought near Bethel ‘cause I thought it’d be funnier, but Woodstock’s closer to the city.”

“What are you planning to do with that land?”

He shrugged. “I grew up on a ranch. I miss the countryside. Was thinking of building a nice cabin up there, maybe keeping a couple of animals. A nice place to get away from everyone.”

“That sounds really nice,” Ronnie admitted.

“I wouldn’t mind living on a small farm again,” Jennifer muttered.

“For the future then,” Scott affirmed.

Jennifer pursed her lips. “What are Patrick and Donoma gonna call you two?

Ronnie took a deep breath. “Uh… good question.”

“I mean when they’re younger, Dada for me, and Daddy for you, since August and Benjamin call you that, but when they’re older… I don’t know, it’s weird to call your dad Daddy when you’re a teenager.”

“Dad One and Dad Two,” Ronnie suggested. “I’m Dad One because I’m older and taller.”

Scott and Jennifer chuckled. 

He swallowed. “Scott, are you willing to also raise Benjamin and August? It’s part of everything.”

The blonde looked flabbergasted. “Of course. I love those kids.”

Jennifer smiled.

Ronnie stood up and leaned against the dresser drawer so he could see both of them. “Um… this is gonna take me a while.”

“We have all night,” Jennifer said soothingly. “So I’ll be a bit sleep-deprived tomorrow. Who cares?”

He looked at his feet. 

“I can go first,” Scott offered. 

“First?”

“Yeah, I mean, we’re opening up to each other. And there’s stuff I’ve told you and not Jennifer and visa-versa.”

“No, it’s fine. I need to do this, and I-I won’t be able to say everything, but I want to at least try.”

They nodded.

He took a deep breath, trying not to shake. He stared at the wall between them and began to speak. He told them everything—the war, the cell, the waterboarding, that he would never swim again, the two men he had killed—everything. The only thing he couldn't get himself to say was Dao’s name. He hadn’t been able to do it with Dr. Whittaker either. When he finished, he was shaking, and both Jennifer and Scott were in tears. He looked down at his feet, unable to look at them any longer. He had done it. He had told them everything. 

Heavy quivering filled the room as he felt Jennifer stroking his arm. He slowly looked up and into her eyes, drowning in emotions. He looked at her and did what any person would have done: He broke down and buried his face into her chest, sobbing.

Jennifer stumbled back and fell to her knees, taking her husband with her. She clutched his body tighter, her face in his hair. Ronnie felt another pair of arms behind him, stroking his back, whispering soothing things. In the arms of the two people he loved most in his life, Ronnie, for the first in his entire life, felt safe. 

Notes:

I think the last sentence is the most romantic and depressing sentence I have ever written

 

fun fact the grammy for best rock album and performance wasn't introduced until 1980, so I'm using the categories at the time.

 

For Context

Woodstock Festival was supposed to be held near Woodstock, NY (hence the name), but ended up in Bethel. Woodstock is very known for being an artistic town, summer stock shows, etc.

Chapter 116: Spring Break (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

Shannon contemplates life as Beth and Laurie come up to visit for spring break, Beth trying to break through the bonds of sisterhood.

CW: Mention of suicide attempt, some period typical homophobia

Notes:

shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov shannon pov

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 116: Spring Break

 

Friday, March 16th, 1979, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



Shannon was bored. It was the last class before spring break, and of course Mrs. Fueller would surprise the class with a pop quiz and mini-lecture. She wanted to bang her head against a window. She hated Honors Chemistry II. 

Mrs. Fueller, a gangly woman with a large nose and grey hair streaked with brown, sighed. “I know everyone wants to get out because it’s the last class before spring break, but if you all rush me, I’ll make you wait. I’ve learned my lesson letting kids out early the hard way.”

Carson Jones, the baseball team’s leading pitcher, raised his hand. 

She looked at him. “Yes, Mr. Jones?”

“What’d ya mean?”

Mrs. Fueller pushed up her glasses. “I had a student who set my classroom on fire on the last day of school during the 1965 to 66 school year.”

The class gasped, and a memory of a story her brother once told her popped into her mind. 

“Do you know who did it?” Another kid asked. 

“We had suspects, but nothing was ever proven. If we had caught them, they would have been arrested and expelled for arson and destruction to school property.”

Shannon choked back a snicker. “But it was only papers, a few textbooks, and two desks.”

Mrs. Fueller whipped her head toward Shannon, eyes like daggers. “And how do you know that, Miss McKittrick?”

Shannon shrugged. “My brother Ronnie was the one who did it. He told me about it after he got back from Vietnam.”

Everyone turned to look at her and started talking.

“Wait, your brother’s Ronnie McKittrick?” Carson asked. Shannon was pretty sure he had never spoken to her before.

“Yeah, we’re the only McKittricks in Nebraska. Thought it’d be kind of obvious.” 

“Dude, your brother is like a god in the athletics department. Man won four state championships in football and basketball two years in a row,” said Evan, a beefy football player, in awe. 

Mrs. Fueller crossed her arms. “Be quiet, all of you,” she hissed, looking back at Shannon. “Your brother did it?”

“Yeah.”

She scowled. “I knew it, the little—you do know he could be charged by you admitting this?”

“Well, he lives in New York, and it was thirteen years ago.”

Her teacher sighed loudly. “You have no idea how happy I was when he finally graduated,” she muttered, more to herself. 

Shannon was pretty sure she was the only one who heard her say it. She knew Ronnie had hated Mrs. Fueller with a passion—apparently, the feeling was mutual. Shannon didn’t have any problem with her, but then again, her brother was in and out of detention and being rude to teachers he didn’t like throughout his high school career. 

Too distracted by the revelation of her brother’s act of arson, Mrs. Fueller went to her desk and sighed heavily. The bell rang not five minutes later, and everyone eagerly packed their bags and ran out of the classroom, ready to enjoy their spring break. 

Shannon’s car, a shitty hunk of metal, was parked near the gym, meaning she had to go through the athletics section and hall of fame. Her brother was in several of the photos. Normally, she walked straight past them, but she couldn’t help but look at them after the conversation in Chemistry. 

The grainy black and white photo was from 1967, the year the high school won its first state championship in basketball. As co-captain, Ronnie was standing next to an Omaha dude, the name James Victors labeled underneath him. Both were smiling proudly, holding the state champion trophy. The trophy was next to the photograph, next to the 1968 State Basketball Championship Trophy and accompanying photograph—Ronnie on the Hall of Fame wall once again. Ridge’s Creek High School hadn’t even made the playoffs since her brother graduated. 

She walked further down the hall and looked at the dozens of football team photographs. She didn’t like football. It was sweaty, loud, and gross. Tackling people to the point of concussion and injury for a ball was stupid. 

Shannon finally spotted her brother’s name on a plaque, the words Captain of 1966-1967 and 1967-1968 State Football Champions etched on it. She wondered if he had any idea how idolized he was here. No one knew the truth about him—that he had several mental disorders and tried to kill himself on more than one occasion. 

She got into her beat up car and drove out of the parking lot. She had bought the car herself, worth six months of her paycheck, but it was better than taking the bus with loud, annoying freshmen who didn’t understand the uses of deodorant.  

Shannon had a part-time job at a record store in Norfolk, where she could hang out with like-minded people and get early access to music, but she wasn’t working that Friday. She drove home, eager to sleep in and ignore her homework.

Their house was the smallest on the street, the only one without a garage. There was a car parked in the cracked driveway, one she didn’t recognize. Who was visiting? 

She parked next to the unfamiliar car, got out, and grabbed her backpack, humming the Joy Division song that was playing on the radio a few seconds prior. She unlocked the front door and stepped inside, only to hear chatter from her mother and at least two other people. One of the voices was male. Her face scrunched up in confusion. They weren’t supposed to have visitors as far as she knew. 

Shannon stepped into the house to see two of her nieces in the living room. She turned and saw Beth and Laurie sitting with Mary in the kitchen. Oh.

“Uh… hi?”

The adults whipped their heads. 

Mary smiled. “Look who’s here to visit us!” Beth stood up and walked over to her sister, pulling her into a tight hug, which felt funny since Beth was only 5’3, but she reluctantly accepted, knowing she’d get in trouble if she didn’t. Why were they here?

“It’s great to see you,” her sister cheerfully said.

Shannon nodded. “Yeah.” She glanced at Laurie. He was chill. “Sup.”

“You’ve gotten taller.”

“Yeah, 5’11. Tallest girl in my grade. Basketball coach has been harassing me to join the girl’s basketball team. I think he thinks he can relive the glory through me ‘cause of Ronnie.”

“I never played basketball—I was a football player through and through. I was a jock stereotype in high school.”

“At least you’re self-aware.”

He chuckled. 

Beth glanced at her daughters. “Girls, come say hi to your Aunt Shannon.”

Rosie and Laura stood up and walked over slowly—well, Rosie walked, and Laura toddled with her chubby little toddler legs. Shannon had always found it amusing how much Rosie looked like Scott and Laura Laurie. 

“Hi, Aunt Shannon,” Rosie said quietly, looking at her feet. 

Laura smiled. All of her teeth had grown in since the last time Shannon saw her. 

“Hi.”

“Aren’t you going to give her a hug?”

Shannon tensed. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m all dirty from school anyway.” She looked back at the table. “Where is Christopher?”

“He’s asleep in my old room,” Beth answered. “Would you like to see him later?”

Shannon dropped her backpack on the floor and shrugged. “Maybe. Honestly, after being around twin newborns for like the whole summer, I’m keen to be away from babies younger than six months. …Are you guys gonna be here the whole break?”

Laurie shook his head. “We’re driving up to see my mom in Moses Lake. Thought we’d stop by for a day or two since it’s on the way. The surprise was your mom’s idea.” 

Barbara had since moved out of Nebraska after talking about it for years. Good for her, Shannon had thought. Who actually wanted to live in Ridge’s Creek? Mary was moving out next year anyway.

“Is that in Washington?”

“Yup.”

She grabbed one of the straps of her backpack as she headed toward the small rickety set of stairs. “Well, I got stuff to do—homework and all that,” she lied. “Call me when dinner’s ready.” Shannon hiked up the stairs before she heard a response, walking into her room and shutting the door loudly. 

The last person she wanted to see was her bible-thumping homophobic sister.

 

***

 

Mary was already in the kitchen making breakfast when Beth creaked down the stairs with Christopher in her arms. She could smell and hear bacon sizzling on the frying pan. 

“Smells good.”

Her mother smiled. “Good morning.” Her eyes fixed on Christopher. “And how did my little grandson sleep?”

“He woke up in the night but went back to sleep after being fed.”

Mary wiped her hands on her apron and kissed her daughter’s cheek while rubbing Christopher’s head gently. “I made some coffee.”

“None for me,” she replied, sitting at the table, her son cooing quietly. “Makes me all jittery.”

“Ya know, I still canna believe I got seven grandkids between you and Ronnie, and neither of you are in yer thirties. And even to think I gained three within six months? Saint Nicholas of Myra, pray for me.”

Beth laughed. “Well, I can only imagine how hectic it will be when Shannon starts having kids.”

The Irish woman shook her head. “No, I don’t think she will have children.”

“Why?”

“She said she doesn’t want any.”

“Well, most kids say that. I mean, Ronnie wasn’t planning to have Benjamin at 20.”

“Shannon has always said she doesn’t want kids.”

“But children are one the best things about being an adult.”

“Not everyone thinks that, and that’s perfectly normal. It’s a new generation, and we women can finally have stable careers, and with laws like Title IX, my wish is for Shannon to do whatever she likes.”

She nodded, silent for a beat. “Do you think you could handle Laurie and the kids today?”

“Why?”

“I’d like to take Shannon on a girl’s day. I never see her, and it would be nice.”

“Take me where?” Shannon asked, coming down the stairs.

Mary laughed. “Speak of the devil.”

“Oh, well, I was thinking you and I could do a sister’s day.”

Shannon yawned and blinked. “And do what?”

She shrugged. “We can do the movies in Norfolk or even drive to Sioux City and hit the mall there.”

“Oh… well, uh-” Shannon paused, and Beth could tell she wanted to say no. 

She wanted to frown but smiled wider instead. That would only encourage her. 

Her sister swallowed and finally nodded. “...Sure, that’d be cool. As long as no children are coming.”

“No, don’t worry. Mom and Laurie can handle the kids for a day.”

When Beth was ready to leave, Shannon was wearing a black leather jacket with various patches and combat boots. She stood by Laurie and Beth’s car, picking at her chipped black nails. 

“Are you sure you want to be wearing that?” Beth asked, approaching the car. 

Her sister gave her a look. “I wear this jacket all the time.”

“Since when? I’ve never seen it before.”

“Scott gave it to me last Christmas.”

Beth’s face tightened. “Did he now?” 

Shannon opened the car door. “C’mon, let’s just go.”

She sat in the driver’s seat and pulled out of the driveway. She drove to Norfolk, where the nearest movie theater was. They could see a movie and get lunch together. 

“What movie do you wanna see?”

Shannon shrugged. “Nothing in particular. I’m good with whatever.”

“Do you wanna see Norma Rae? I like Sally Field.”

“Meh.”

“What about Superman? It’s still in theaters.”

“I’ve already seen it. Three times. Mom thinks Christopher Reeve is hot.”

Beth chuckled. 

“We can watch The Deer Hunter. I wouldn’t mind watching that.”

“What’s that about?”

“Vietnam. Three guys who enlist and their lives after.”

Beth looked at her feet. “I don’t know… I don’t feel comfortable watching that.”

“Well, I’d understand if you were Ronnie, but,” she muttered, “you’re not.”

She sighed. “Is it rated R?”

“Yeah.”

“Then no. I don’t watch rated R movies.”

“Because of violence, sex, or language?”

“All three. You shouldn’t be watching those either.”

Shannon scoffed. “You’re not Mom.”

Beth clutched her purse tighter, leaning on the car. 

“...I can watch Superman again if you want.”

“Thank you. I’ll buy popcorn and some Icees.”

“Thanks.”

 

***

 

“You’re all grown up, aren’t ya,” Beth mused after the waiter gave them their drinks.

Shannon shrugged, taking a sip of her orange soda. 

“I still remember when you were a tiny little baby.”

“I don’t.”

She laughed. 

They had gone to a small diner in Norfolk after Superman. It reminded her of Kimberly’s —if the food wasn’t as greasy. They were sitting in a green booth, the leather peeling at the ends. It was almost the same color as the linoleum floor. 

“Anything else you wanna do after lunch?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m sure there’s a record store in town. We could go there.”

“I know, I work there.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Well, we can use your employee discount.”

“Sure.”

Beth took a sip of her lemonade. It felt nice not to have the kids for once, even if Shannon was colder than a block of ice. “You’re a junior now.”

“Yeah.”

“Ya know, I graduated when I was a junior. Had enough credits to do so.”

“So Mom tells me all the time.” She sounded bitter. 

Beth sighed. “Well, you’ll be the first of the McKittricks to go to college. That’s so crazy to me.”

“Technically, Líadan was the first of us to go to college.”

“Well, she lives in Ireland, and colleges don’t know that.”

Shannon had something close to a smile on her face. “True.”

“Have you thought about what you wanna study?”

“Journalism. I wanna be a music journalist.”

“Music journalist?”

Shannon scoffed like it was something Beth should’ve known. “Ya know, the people who write about rock stars and music in Rolling Stone or Billboard. I wanna travel the world and write about music.”

“Have you always wanted to do that?”

She shrugged again. “It’s what I want to do now. Already knowing someone in the industry helps too.” 

“Lucky you.” Beth looked down. It’d come out more bitter than she’d meant it to be. 

“Yeah. Scott’s great.” She looked up and gave her sister an awkward smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. He’s still Rosie’s father.” And you don’t need to know all the shit he’s done.

Beth looked at her nails, filed to perfection and painted pink. She had her nails done every week. She liked being a mother who wore gold and pearls and got her nails done weekly. It made up for every time someone looked at her, judging the shabbiness of her clothes and the outdatedness of her style. People were always so judgmental. 

“Mom and I were talking about college the other day,” she began after it had gone silent for too long. “You should look at schools in Houston or the surrounding areas. That way, you could live with me and the kids. It’d be a lot cheaper and easier since Mom is going back home.”

“I’d rather live with Ronnie.” It was immediate and blunt.

Beth stared at her sister, a wave of hurt washing over her. Had she actually just said that? She felt her throat close up as she gulped. 

Shannon’s eyes widened, and she leaned forward. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that—I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m sorry. I just meant… I just meant-”

Beth interrupted her. “That you don’t wanna live with your sister because she is super lame and conservative?” 

“No. New York has better schools for journalism. Plus, Jennifer literally studied creative writing in college. She has to know a thing or two about what I wanna do.”

“Great thing that our big brother just happens to live there.”

Shannon stared at her drink. “It’s not like that.”

The waiter came with their food before Beth could reply. Shannon had gotten a BLT, Beth tomato soup with salad. He set their food down carefully, warning Beth that her soup was hot. She nodded and thanked him. He left.

“But you’d rather live with him than me?”

“No… I just don’t wanna live in the South. Or here. I’m never coming back. Plus, with his mental problems, I bet Jennifer wouldn’t mind another hand with the twins still being so little.”

“They already have Scott,” she muttered resentfully. 

“I know.”

She raised her brows. “You know?”

“I know about the three of them. Scott pretty much lives with them.”

“I see.”

Shannon picked up a french fry. “I mean, I get why you’re so bitter. I think I would be too. I don’t blame you for not liking Ronnie.”

Beth dropped her salad fork. “I don’t hate Ronnie. I love him very much.”

“I didn’t say that you hated him. I said you didn’t like him. It’s different.”

Beth looked down at her soup, red and glistening. 

Her sister continued. “I mean, Scott treated you like shit, I get that. To have an affair is one thing. To have an affair with your wife’s brother? That’s fucked up. I know that. I don’t know the whole story, but I’d be pretty bitter too.”

“Who told you all that?” She asked quietly.

“I asked Scott if he cheated on you while Jennifer went into labor. He said yeah, and then I asked if it was with Ronnie. I took the silence as a yes.”

“And now you know the real reason we got divorced. …They sat me down about two months after Rosie was born. Told me they had an affair, but they had ended it because the guilt had become too much. I had never felt so stupid and angry and used. I didn’t talk to Scott for eight months, Ronnie for over a year. …I’m pretty sure they started seeing each other again when they reunited at Rosie’s baptism.” She laughed without humor. “Technically, I enabled that. Whoopie doo me.”

“Well, you and Laurie wouldn’t have gotten together then.”

Beth sighed. “That is true.”

“And you’re a lot happier with him than you were ever with Scott.”

“Yeah.”

“And say what you want, but when I saw Ronnie after he came home from the hospital, just sitting with Scott and Jennifer, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that happy before. Not since before Vietnam, and I barely remember that.”

“So you’re on neutral ground on all of this?”

“I don’t know. You’re my sister, and Ronnie’s my brother, and we may not agree on everything, but I still love you guys—even if you get on my nerves.”

Beth scoffed. “I get on your nerves?”

“What, I don’t?”

She chuckled. “Fair enough.”

Shannon put another french fry in her mouth. 

Beth licked her lips. “Don’t tell Mom this, but I don’t think Ronnie and I will see each other anytime soon. I can’t be around his lifestyle. I love him and my niece and nephews, but it bothers me. A lot. To the point of disgust.”

She nodded slowly.

“Maybe in a few years, we’ll try again, but it’s good that we’re apart. We only seem to cause problems when we’re together.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Shannon.”

“Sorry.”

Beth took a bite of her salad as Shannon dug into her sandwich. It tasted fresh, and she was glad for it. They ate quietly, not bothering to talk after that conversation.

“I miss Valentina,” the teenager admitted, pushing her empty plate away. “I miss her a lot.”

“I know.”

“She was like a second sister to me. I always told people I had two sisters. I can’t even go into your room anymore. It’s hard enough using the shared bathroom.”

Beth took her sister’s hand. “I miss her too. She was better than all of us.”

“She was.”

“But we keep going in her memory. For August’s sake. By the time he’s your or my age, he'll barely remember her, if he does at all. And it’ll be up to you and me and everyone who knew her to tell him about his mother.”

Shannon sniffed. “Yeah.” 

Beth smiled. “I love you, even if you think I’m lame and talk like a Catholic schoolgirl.”

“Well, you do.” Shannon was smirking.

She nodded reluctantly. “I do.”

Notes:

i based mary's love of christopher reeve on my mother's

 

For Context

Saint Nicholas of Myra --> Patron saint of sailors, merchants, archers, repentant thieves, children, brewers, pawnbrokers, unmarried people, and students in various cities and countries around Europe.

Title IX --> The federal civil rights law in the United States that was enacted as part of the Education Amendments of 1972. It prohibits sex-based discrimination in any school or any other education program that receives funding from the federal government. (Wiki)

Chapter 117: Lorraine and an Attempt of Returning to Normality (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

Ronnie attends a funeral, and he, Scott, and Jennifer talk to August and Benjamin.

CW: Off-screen character death, mention of drug abuse and past suicide attempt, sexual references

Notes:

happy wednesday!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 117: Lorraine and an Attempt of Returning to Normality 

 

Thursday, April 12th, 1979, San Francisco, California



It was always windy in San Francisco. Every time Ronnie went there, without fail, it was windy. The wind blew loudly during the entirety of the funeral service, and Ronnie could barely hear what the speaker was saying until the very end.

The sky was hazy, though the sun was beginning to poke through the clouds, its beams shining on the cemetery. It was on a hill, the grass a fresh green, newly grown from the coming of spring. People dressed in black stood all around, some crying, others silent. It was the biggest funeral Ronnie had ever attended. There were at least sixty people, likely more. He wondered how many of them were also former flames of Lola. 

Scott and Jennifer had been apprehensive about him going alone. He understood why, but he felt it was inappropriate to attend the funeral of his ex with the guy he cheated on her with and his wife. He needed to do this. He needed to go alone. 

The only people he recognized at the funeral were Michelle Park and Vicky, everyone else he did not know. Lola had never introduced him to any of her friends while they dated. Only Michelle. 

He stood quietly in the back, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, feeling like an outsider. There was to be a luncheon after, but he didn’t plan on going. He didn’t feel it was right. Besides, he was staying with Bobby, who eagerly offered when he learned Ronnie was to be in San Francisco. Ronnie suspected Bobby was eagerly waiting to interrogate him about everything when he returned, though Bobby wouldn’t claim to use that word. 

It was strange. He didn’t feel devastated. He was sad, of course, but it wasn’t heartwrenching like how he’d felt at Valentina's funeral. Lola was dead. He only hoped that she hadn’t suffered in the end. He would remember her fondly and think about the times they had together. Maybe it hadn’t hit him yet, that she was really dead. 

“Thanks for coming, Ronnie,” Michelle said, approaching him. She looked tired, wearing a black trench coat and ballet flats. 

He nodded. “I made a promise.”

She sighed. “So you saw her after we ran into each other at the store?”

“Mhmm. She was shocked, but in the end, I’m glad I got to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being a shitty boyfriend. Even if it wasn’t a super serious relationship, I wasn’t very nice to her in the end.”

Michelle smirked. “Yeah, she told me that.”

“I imagine so.”

“But, it’s mature of you to admit that. Most men wouldn’t.”

Ronnie chuckled. “I’m glad you think so highly of me.” He licked his lips. “Were you there in the end?”

A shadow cast on her face, and she nodded. “I don’t think she realized I was there, but she was surrounded by loved ones when she went.”

“Michelle?”

She looked up. 

“Why did you break up with her?”

“She had a heroin problem. It had been off and on for the last ten years. She started using again shortly after we got together, and when I found out, I told her to pick me or heroin—that I’d always love her, but I couldn’t be with her if she was a junkie.”

“And she chose heroin?”

“Never make an addict choose between a person or drug. They always pick the drug.”

“Yeah. She wasn’t the only one who struggled with substance abuse.”

Michelle brushed her hair with her fingers. It had gotten longer than the last time he had seen her. By now, the service had ended, and many were beginning to leave for the funeral reception.

“How are you?” She asked, tugging at her ear.

“Honestly, and I know this is horrible to say at a funeral, but I feel happy. I haven’t been this happy in over a decade. Last year was really shitty. Definitely in the top two worst years of my life.”

“Why?”

He swallowed. “I had some undiagnosed mental disorders. Only got diagnosed and medicated for ‘em in late November. I wasn’t mentally well. At all.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re happy. I've always liked you—honestly shocked when she told me you had cheated.”

“Not my finest moment. I’ve always liked you too, Michelle.”

She laughed lightly and lowered her voice. “I know we only fucked the one time, but hey, you’re still the best guy I’ve ever fucked.”

Ronnie gave her a look. “I don’t think that’s appropriate to talk about at her funeral.”

“Eh, she wouldn’t care. It was her idea, the uh anniversary present. Said you were the best fuck she’d ever had. I was curious to test her claim.”

“I feel used,” he said dryly. 

Michelle chuckled. “You’ve made me feel better.”

“I’m glad,” Ronnie replied sincerely. He nodded toward a woman and man in their late 50s standing with a girl in her 20s. They looked like Lola. “Is that her family?”

“Yeah.”

“I should probably say something to them. I never met them while we dated. I know she and her dad had problems.”

“Good luck.” She opened her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and pen. She wrote her phone number and handed the slip to him. “We didn’t exchange numbers last time. You better call—you’re the only person I can talk about Lola to back home.”

He nodded and put the slip in his pocket. “I’ll see ya around.”

“You too.”

He watched her walk down the hill before slowly approaching Lola’s family. Lola’s father, Mr. Freedmen, was a tall man with short grey hair and a stern expression. Her mother had flat-ironed hair streaked with grey. Her sister was a younger version of their mother, roughly in her early twenties, her hair styled in long cornrows. 

“Um, excuse me,” Ronnie said, clearing his throat. 

They all looked up.

“I… I just wanted to give my condolences. I know what it’s like to lose a loved one when they’re young.”

Mr. Freedmen eyed him up and down. “Do I know you?” He had a Southern accent. 

“No, sir. My name is Ronnie McKittrick—I used to date your daughter.”

Mrs. Freedmen nodded. “I believe she mentioned you once or twice. I’m Lashawna.” She gestured to her husband and daughter. “This is my husband Joe and our daughter Kayla.”

“Nice to meet all of you.”

“When did you date her?” Kayla asked. 

“1972 to 1973, about a year and a half.”

Mr. Freedmen glanced at his deceased daughter’s grave. “I don’t know what Lorraine told ya ‘bout us, but I want you to know she greatly exaggerated things. She always tried to make it ‘bout her, make her look like she was the victim.”

Ronnie swallowed. 

“Joe,” Lashawna muttered.

Her husband just huffed and walked away. 

“I’m sorry about that. It’s been difficult—he and Lorraine never had a good relationship, and I believe he feels guilty he wasn’t able to fix things before she died.”

“It’s fine. I understand grief.” He turned to Kayla. “I didn’t know she had a sister.”

Kayla raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“She didn’t talk much about her home life when we were going together. I knew she had a sibling, and she and her father didn’t get along, but that was about it.”

“Sounds like her.” Lashawna smiled sadly. “Thank you for coming, honey.”

He nodded awkwardly. “I told her I would. It was nice to meet both of you.”

The younger woman glanced back at her sister’s gravestone. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, staring at his late girlfriend’s grave, and finally, a feeling of guilt washed over him. 

Out of the four women he’d had romantic relationships with, only Jennifer was still alive. It was a silly thought, but he sometimes wondered if Lola would have died regardless, even if they hadn’t dated. Sometimes, he felt like a bad luck charm for his romantic and sexual partners. Something terrible had happened to all of his long-term ones, whether before, during, or after. 

Lola was 32 when she died, Valentina was 25, and Nguyệt was only 19. He’d pray to God that neither Scott nor Jennifer or their kids would die before any of those ages, and he wouldn’t have to attend another funeral for a long time. He couldn’t do it. He was tired of death and dying and almost dying. He was very tired of it. 

 

Saturday, April 14th, 1979, Upper West Side, Manhattan, New York

 

Most of the time, they spent the weekends at Scott’s. Benjamin and August enjoyed the amenities of the apartment, and Ronnie enjoyed sleeping in Scott’s giant bed that felt like heaven on his back. He had been against moving into the apartment because of the outrageous amount Scott paid in rent, but that bed… he swore there were drugs in it or something. A mattress could not feel that good.

“The first thing you do when you come back from a funeral is crash into my bed in your dirty clothes,” Scott announced, standing in the doorway.

Ronnie looked up from the bed. “Your bed? This is our bed, fuckwad.”

“Okay, commie.” Scott scoffed and waltzed over, sitting down. “How was it?”

“Not as emotional as I thought I would be. I came to the realization that out of the four women I’ve dated or had a deep emotional and sexual relationship with, only Jennifer is still alive.” He dropped his head back on the pillow. 

The blond put his hand on his shoulder. “...Shit, man.” He leaned down and laid his head on Ronnie’s back. “If you say it’s your fault, I’ll smother you with the pillow you’re laying on.”

“Then I won’t say anything,” he muttered. “What are you doing?”

“I was gonna go to the bathroom and jack off.”

Ronnie sat up, perplexed. “I’m sorry?”

Scott just shrugged. “I have been extremely horny of late. The no sex for six months is killing me. I got hard watching Jennifer take off her top to breastfeed Donoma and Patrick.”

He laughed. “Well, you may be in luck tonight. I think I’m ready for it again. I want to do it.”

Scott looked delighted, leaning over and pecking his lips. “Oh god, I love you.”

“Well, not until tonight so hold your horses.”

“Did Jennifer tell you what we’re doing today?”

“Telling Benjamin and August the exact nature of our relationship?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. Hey, remember when you used to call me uncle and I was married to your aunt? Well, now I’m fucking your daddy and step-mommy, and your younger siblings will also call me Dad.”

Ronnie snorted. 

“What are you talking about?” Jennifer asked, poking her head in.

“Ronnie wants to have sex tonight,” Scott informed her.

Her eyes lit up, and she smiled slyly. “Really now?”

He stood up and walked over to the doorway. “Yeah. I think hearing you two constantly complaining about being horny and getting off has reignited something in me. I want to get laid.”

“That will have to wait, unfortunately. We need to explain why we spend every weekend at Scott’s and other shit.”

Scott sighed. “Joy.”

Fifteen minutes later, Ronnie found himself at the dining room table with August, Benjamin, Jennifer, and Scott. The twins were nearby in a playpen, Donoma attempting to eat a wooden block while Patrick was trying (and failing) to stand up using the rails. Benjamin was sitting next to his brother, swinging his legs. August was quiet, holding his Stretch Armstrong Raboy, which somehow had not broken yet. Toby, who was tired out after playing, was napping next to the playpen. 

“What are we gonna talk about?” Benjamin asked, looking at the adults.

“We wanted to talk to you and August about something important,” Jennifer began gently, smiling. 

August set his toy down. “What we talking about?” 

“Our life, and some changes.”

Benjamin’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What kind of changes?”

Ronnie cut in. “Well, you know how Mommy and I love each other, and that’s why we’re together.”

The boys nodded.

He glanced at Scott. “Well, we feel the same about Scott. So all three of us are going to be together.”

The older boy blinked and carefully stared at each adult. “...Huh?”

Scott chuckled. “It means I’ll be living with y’all and helping raise you and your siblings.”

“Live with us?” August questioned. 

Jennifer nodded. “Yes. Eventually, Scott is going to live with us permanently. It’s why we spend the weekends at his apartment.”

Benjamin crossed his arms. “We can move here instead. I like this place much better than the house.”

Ronnie sighed. “Thanks.”

The blond laughed. “Well, that’s up to your Mommy and Dad.” He leaned toward him and whispered, “But I think we should all live here too.”

“If we move here, Benjamin, you’ll have to go to a different school.”

 “Why?”

“Because you’ll go to a school close to the apartment. Do you want to move schools?”

“Do I get to use the hot tub outside and the pool on top?”

Ronnie snorted. “Yes, you will.”

He looked at his brother. “We should live here.”

August clutched his toy tighter. “I like it here too.”

“Well, that’s something the grown-ups will have to talk about later,” Jennifer told them, glancing at Ronnie. “And I’m sure your father isn’t too keen on it.”

“I’ll swallow my dignity for that mattress.”

Scott cocked a brow. “That’s why you’ll move here? My bed?”

“Yes.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Okay, back to the main discussion. Do you two have any questions about our relationship?”

“I thought only men could marry women,” Benjamin remarked, his eyebrows raised. 

“Well, that is technically true, and many people think that, but it’s okay if you’re a guy and you love other guys. The same thing if you’re a girl who likes a girl. Y’all can love and like whoever you want, and there is nothing wrong with that. So don’t listen to people who tell you otherwise because they’re dummies,” Scott answered. 

“Is Scott new dad?” The four year old stared at Ronnie. 

“Your younger siblings will call me Dad, but you two can call me Scott. Basically, consider me like a stepfather or something. Whatever you want.”

“We have two dads now?”

Ronnie shrugged. “I guess so, Benjamin.”

His eyes lit up. “Cool.”

“But you two can’t tell other people at school about us,” Jennifer cut in.

“Why not?”

“A lot of people don’t think it’s right. And because Scott’s famous, he likes to keep his private life private. Lots of people would bother us if they knew.”

“I understand.” Benjamin frowned. “Is Rosie still my cousin?”

“Yes,” all three adults answered simultaneously. 

“Rosie is still your cousin,” Scott affirmed. “She’s August’s and Patrick’s too. Donoma is her sister, so their relationship will be different, but that’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“That’s good because then it would be weird if she was my sister and cousin.”

“I don’t disagree,” Jennifer answered. 

August nodded. “Okay.” He pointed to the piano. “Can I play?”

The blond stood. “Why don’t I show you a few easy stuff.”

The two went over to the piano, and Ronnie glanced at Jennifer. That had been easier than he had thought. Her face seemed to agree, but she nudged her head at Benjamin. You still have one more thing to do. He still had to talk to him about October. 

“Hey, Benjamin, let’s go outside on the balcony.”

“Why?”

“I wanna talk to you, just me and you.”

“Is it a secret?”

“Sure,” he muttered, standing. 

Being so high up made it quite windy, and Ronnie got a chill as he stepped outside. It was connected to the balcony in Scott’s room, so the hot tub was easily accessible from the living room. There was a small table and a few chairs, but they were more for decoration than anything. Ronnie sat down in one of them and stared at the Manhattan skyline. 

“What do you wanna walk about, Dad?”

He sighed loudly and patted the spot next to him. “Sit down, kiddo.”

Benjamin sat down and looked up. 

“I wanted to talk about… what happened in October, when I had to go to the hospital, and you didn’t see me until February.”

“Shouldn’t August hear it too?”

“No, he’s too little. You are too, but I know you saw something, and that’s what I wanted to speak to you about.”

He nodded.

“Do you know what happened that night?”

“...I remember Mommy screaming, and there were flashing lights and sirens, so I woke up and went downstairs. Mommy was crying, and so was Mamó, and you were on a stretcher, and there was a lot of blood, and you… you looked dead. But you weren’t because you’re next to me right now.” Benjamin sniffled.

Ronnie looked down, swallowing. His son had seen that. What kind of father was he? “...Um, for a while, there was something wrong with my brain, and I saw things that weren’t there, and it became hard to tell what was real and what was a dream. I take medicine now so it won’t happen again.”

“Why was your brain sick?”

“My great uncle had the same thing, and some bad stuff happened to me that only made it worse.” He sighed and wrapped an arm around his oldest, pulling him close. “I’m so sorry you saw that. I wish I could go back in time to make it never happen. But Benjamin?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you so much, and I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you. And… and if you ever feel sad or upset, you can always come to me. I promise I’ll be there for you for the rest of my life.”

He nodded. “Well, you have to promise you won’t get brain sick again.”

Ronnie hugged him tightly and laughed. “I promise.”

 

***

 

“That went a lot better and easier than I thought it would,” Scott remarked as Jennifer closed the bedroom door.

Ronnie, who was sprawled out on the bed, nodded. “It’ll be different when they’re a bit older.”

Jennifer leaned against the wall. “Everything’s simpler when you’re a kid.”

“True.” Scott plopped on the bed next to Ronnie. “How do y’all feel about the kids wanting to move here? I have the room. Four bedrooms, though Benjamin and August would have to share.”

Ronnie perched himself on his arm. “Why did you get a penthouse for just you and sometimes Rosie?”

“I have excellent intuition.”

Jennifer unbuttoned her cardigan. “We can talk about that later. We have a much more serious conversation ahead of us tonight instead.”

He grinned, watching Scott sit up and pull off his t-shirt. “Oh, indeed we do.”

She sat on Ronnie’s lap, running her hand through his hair. “How do you wanna do this?”

“Slow. Let’s be honest—I’ll probably last like 10 seconds, so let’s just enjoy it.”

“I agree. I’ll probably last less than a minute too.” The blond turned to Jennifer and pecked her lips. “Sorry.”

“It’ll be the best worst sex ever,” she mused, pulling off her shirt. “I don’t mind—which says a lot.”

Ronnie kissed her cheek, feeling Scott kiss his neck. “I wanna be in between you two.” He reached for his wife’s bra and unclasped it before pulling the cups down.

“Hey, I’m breastfeeding,” she muttered, biting back a moan.

“I don’t care,” he muttered, burying his face in her chest.

Scott laughed and leaned over Ronnie to kiss Jennifer passionately.  

Notes:

When I was planning out the final thing for this, I came to realize I had killed off Nguyet, Valentina, and Lola.... yeah not me killing two WOC and an Eastern European immigrant—I swear I'm not xenophobic it was an accident, like I was genuinely like oh shit when I realized, and it was too late to change things, plus I couldn't think of a way to end the story other than the way I did bc lemme tell you some of the early plans of this... woo glad I realized it was dumb. I like to think I did them justice with their endings (not Nguyet's 😅)

Fun Fact! Scott was originally supposed to be an antagonist—he was gonna use their affair against Ronnie—also I was gonna kill him off too. (Heroin overdose) Glad I realized better potential for his character and my need for more poly rep in books (even if the triad took 100 chapters to sleep together and another 15 to actually confirm their relationship. ...I was gonna kill Ronnie too 😳🫣

Chapter 118: The Thing About Us (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

Jennifer, Scott, and Ronnie break the news to Mary and Jennifer’s parents.

CW: usage of queer in og slur context

Notes:

happy easter and happy passover to everyone who celebrates <3

two more chapters 😳😳😳

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 118: The Thing About Us

 

Tuesday, June 26th, 1979, Ridge’s Creek, Nebraska



Summer. Scott looked forward to many things about this summer. He got to have Rosie from the middle of July to the end of August, he was performing at four festivals, and it was the first summer in a relationship with Ronnie and Jennifer. Sometimes, he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. He was technically dating Ronnie AND Jennifer. Donoma and Patrick both called him Dada. He was happy. It was nice.

Today, however, he felt very different. The school year was over in New York, and they had flown out to Nebraska yesterday, staying the night in Omaha before driving up. The trip was so Jennifer could register the twins for tribal citizenship at the Indian Affairs office on the reservation and so her other family members could meet them. And, of course, the other underlying reason for the visit that made Scott very uncomfortable: Tell Ronnie’s mother and Jennifer’s parents about the nature of their relationship. 

The plan was simple. See Mary and Shannon first and tell them. Then see Jack and Georgina. Tell them. Finally, drive to the reservation, register the twins, and have dinner with Jennifer’s maternal grandparents and extended family. Jennifer said she would mention it to her two closest cousins, but that was it. 

He hated it. He was scared of the reactions. Mary was a hardcore Irish Catholic. Jack hated strangers. Scott wasn’t planning for it to end well. 

Well, maybe he shouldn’t have been too apprehensive of Mary. She already knew about Donoma and Patrick’s parentage. She must have known it was only a matter of time before the three of them got together. 

They were sitting at the table, Mary and Shannon on one side, Scott, Jennifer, and Ronnie on the other. August and Benjamin were outside playing, and the twins were upstairs, sleeping in Ronnie’s old room. 

The Irish woman eyed each of them carefully. “...Who wants to talk first?”

Ronnie gulped and cracked his knuckles. “I can guess you have a pretty good idea about what we’re gonna tell you.”

She didn’t answer, only glanced at Scott and back to her son. 

“Donoma is Scott’s daughter biologically. She has his last name.”

Shannon’s eyes widened. “How the fu-”

Mary turned and raised a brow.

“...How is that possible?”

“We don’t need to go into details,” Jennifer quickly added. 

Ronnie rubbed his face. “I’m… a queer, Mom.” He looked at the table surface. “Bisexual. Um, Scott and I began an affair shortly after he and Beth got married.”

Scott’s face turned red, and he looked down too.

“I… we didn’t mean for it to happen, but it just did, and we decided to end it—well, I did because I felt too guilty, and we told Beth… that’s why they got divorced—well, the biggest reason why. And um, so when we uh saw each other again at Rosie’s baptism…” He shrugged. “I realized I had feelings for um them both, and uh, they felt the same, so…” Ronnie finally looked his mother directly in the eye. “We’re together, all of us, and we live together, and we’re gonna raise our kids together.”

Scott slowly looked up and gulped, watching Mary take in the information. If she was disgusted, he could not tell. She stared at her son, her lips pursed together tightly, her eyes darting back and forth as she inhaled deeply. 

Shannon looked just as awkward as he felt, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. He wondered if she was watching for her mother’s reaction, basing whether or not to also come out to her. She rubbed her eyes and started picking at her nails. 

After another minute or so, Mary cleared her throat and laced her fingers together. “Shannon, go watch yer nephews outside. They shouldn’t be left alone.”

“But—why do I-”

“Go,” Mary interrupted, looking rather stern.

A pit grew in his stomach.

Scowling, the teenager stood and huffed off, opening the backdoor and slamming it loudly. If his former mother-in-law was upset at her daughter, she didn’t show it. Instead, she turned her attention back to the trio, closed her eyes, and sighed before opening them again. 

“I am not gonna lie and say I didn’t know something was going on. Scott and I had a conversation about Donoma’s parentage in October. But I’ve suspected for quite some time.”

Ronnie nodded meekly.

“I also won’t lie and say I agree with it because I don’t. I wasn’t raised that way, and I didn’t raise you that way either.”

Scott’s heart dropped, and he stared at his hands, biting the inside of his mouth. It felt worse than when he had told his parents he was gay. He could only imagine how Ronnie felt.

“However,” Mary added, “at the end of the day, I care more about my children’s happiness than my moral and religious beliefs. It’s why I let you be lenient about church after you turned 18 and why I wasn’t so demanding that yer and Jennifer’s wedding be a Catholic one.”

Scott glanced at Jennifer, who also looked a bit surprised. 

“Ronnie,” Mary whispered gently before adding something that Scott assumed was Irish. 

Her son looked at her, and Scott could see he was trying very hard not to get emotional. 

“I haven’t seen ya this happy in a decade. And my heart breaks to say that, but it’s true.” She sat back. “And are you two equally content in this triad?”

“Yes,” Jennifer answered. “I’m very happy, Mary.”

“The same.”

She nodded. “Then alright. You’re all adults, and ya know what yer doin’.” Mary turned to Scott. “But it hasn’t escaped my mind that you were married to me daughter and had an affair with him.” She glanced back at her son. “If anything, that’s the thing I’m the most upset about.”

Scott laughed nervously. “I know. We screwed up big time. And I would never tell anyone that is a good way to get together. It’s a terrible one. Extremely terrible.”

She smiled. “Well, you acknowledge it.”

Go raibh maith agat, mamaí,” Ronnie said as he grabbed Scott’s hand under the table.

Scott took his hand and sighed, noting he was also holding Jennifer’s hand. One down, two to go.

 

***

 

Scott sat in the back with all the kids while Jennifer drove, and Ronnie sat in the passenger seat. He sat stretched out, holding each twin in his lap as August and Benjamin were still over at their grandmother’s. Mary had offered to watch the twins too, but they weren’t that cruel to leave with two babies along with an eight and four year old. Besides, they were driving to the Omaha reservation after Jack and Georgina’s, whether it went well or not. 

The Parker Farm was about 25 minutes away from Mary’s home and featured all sorts of “fun” memories for Scott. He’d been there three or four times, but something always happened. 

“How do you want me to tell them, first alone and then you two come in?” Jennifer offered, turning onto a farmer’s road. 

“No,” he answered. “It’s better if we do it together.”

Ronnie turned his head. “What if we each held one of the twins, so when they get the news, they’ll be softened by the sight of their grandchildren, therefore a distraction.”

“Deal.”

Jennifer scoffed.

Donoma tugged on her father’s shirt. “Dada?”

“What is it, honey?”

“Mama.”

“Well, your mother is driving the car. Daddy can hold you instead.”

Ronnie turned around again. “Wanna sit with me, Donoma?”

She reached out her little arms toward her other father. 

Ronnie reached forward and took Donoma from him, who wrapped her arms around his neck. Scott adjusted Patrick, who was sucking lazily on his green pacifier, very content to sit on Scott’s lap while looking out the window. 

Jennifer’s parents were surprised to see Scott, but they welcomed him just the same. They ate lunch, bannock and pulled pork. He ended up having thirds. 

Georgina laughed, watching him put more food on his plate. “And I thought Ronnie ate a lot.”

Scott smiled sheepishly. “It’s really good.”

Ronnie shrugged, staring at his mostly eaten plate. “Antidepressants make me less hungry.”

His answer was immediately greeted with awkward silence. Jennifer coughed after another minute, and everyone turned to look at her.

“You’re not busy with anything today, Dad?”

Jack shook his head. “Why?”

“We uh wanted to talk to you and Mom after lunch.”

He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head. “About what?”

“You’ll see.”

He sighed. “Well, the cows can wait.”

They moved to the living room, a big room connected to the main hall. The television was outdated—from the late 50s—but it looked more like a decoration than anything. There was a thin layer of dust on top. Jack and Georgina didn’t look like the kind of people who watched television much. 

The couch was newer than everything else in the room, a brown leather sofa that matched the color of the old oak walls. There was a red, yellow, and tan woven rug in the center. Jack sat in his old reclining chair that Jennifer had said was older than her. Georgina sat in her rocking chair that was older than her mother, and Ronnie, Jennifer, and Scott sat on the brand-new couch. Unfortunately, both the twins had fallen asleep during lunch and were now sleeping upstairs, having been already tired from their interrupted nap from earlier. He and Ronnie were defenseless. 

This time, Jennifer spoke. It came out of her mouth the best. She could put her English degree to use. She talked slowly, explained the twins’ parentage and how the three of them got together. She left out that Scott was married to Beth, though he was sure her parents already knew that. She didn’t mention technically, Ronnie had cheated on her before they all first slept together, nor did she add that Scott had originally thought he was gay. 

Jack and Georgina listened to their daughter, glancing at each man carefully, their faces changing from interest to shock to unsettled. When she finished, Jack ran his hand through his long grey hair, his mouth knit into a tight line. 

Georgina stared at her hands, gnarled and wrinkled from years of farmwork, which contrasted against her long and sparkly blue nails. She wore a simple gold band on her ring finger as they rubbed against her faded blue jeans. She had her daughter’s nose and the same aurora of kind pride. 

Jennifer’s father turned to his wife. “I would like to speak to your mother for a moment, Jennifer. Can you all please step into the kitchen?”

“Yes, sir,” Scott muttered as he stood. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and his head pounded loudly. This couldn’t be good. 

Ronnie leaned on his wife’s shoulder when they were standing in the kitchen. “I needa smoke.”

“Me too,” Scott muttered.

Jennifer nodded at the backdoor, located next to the fridge. “Let’s go outside then.”

The back porch faced the barn and chicken pen. Cows were grazing in the back, and the sight reminded Scott of Celestion. It’d been four years since The Great Dinner Incident of 1975. Four years since he’d seen his parents. And now his father was dying.

The news had hit him like a truck when he found out. William had always seemed very healthy. He never smoked except on New Year’s Day, when he’d have a Cuban cigar in his office early in the morning before Claire got up. He rode his horse at least twice a week, and during calving season, he was out there on the fields with his workers helping deliver calves. Sure, he drank, but who didn’t? William wasn’t an alcoholic. 

Charlie or Lenora called him whenever there was an update. In the last two months, Charlie had called six times. It was getting worse, spreading. His brother had said it wouldn’t be long before he was hospitalized permanently. Scott wanted to see him badly, but he was scared of his family’s reaction. What if he upset his father and only made him worse? Claire would certainly scream and yell if she learned that he showed up. What kind of son was he?

Ronnie lit a cigarette and inhaled before passing it to Scott. He let it sit on his lips before inhaling and exhaling smoke. He took another puff and handed it back to Ronnie. Jennifer watched them smoke, eventually taking the Marlboro from Ronnie and sticking it in her mouth. 

“I need a distraction,” she muttered, coughing as she returned the cigarette to the older man. 

He looked solemn. “Fair.”

Scott wiped his mouth. “I don’t think that went well. Too bad the twins were asleep. Coulda used them.”

Ronnie snickered lightly. 

“Don’t joke,” she mumbled. 

The blond looked away, staring at the cows. When Scott was younger, he used to wanna be a cow, just outside all day eating, not a care in the world. Even when it was time to slaughter one. They never knew, even when the cattle gun was out and ready. 

They finished the cigarette, and Ronnie lit another one, but he didn’t bother to share it. His leg was bouncing, the heel of his boot making a light tapping noise every time it hit the floorboards.

The door creaked open, and he saw Georgina standing. “Come inside.”

Scott felt sick as he reentered the house. It was his fault. Everything would have been fine if he hadn’t managed to fall in love. He was selfish, wanting them both, knowing very well of the new obstacles they would face compared to a normal married couple. They were the ones married. He was an outsider. 

Jack was standing by the counter, arms crossed, eyeing each of them carefully. “Do you have anything else you want to say?”

Jennifer took his hand. “We chose this together, and I’m not ashamed, nor do I regret this,” she said firmly, and he wondered if she was reading his mind. 

He nodded. “Okay.”

Georgina went over to her husband. “I had some ideas about the nature of your relationship after noticing how often Scott was over after the twins were born. Donoma’s similar facial features haven’t gone unnoticed either.”

“Jennifer, I love you. And Ronnie, I consider you like a son. Any child of yours is our grandchild. End of discussion.” Jack turned to Scott. “If this is what you all want, then I look forward to getting to know you, Scott,” he said kindly, offering his hand out. 

Scott didn’t know what he was thinking, but in the heat of emotions, he took Jack’s hand and hugged him tightly instead. Jennifer’s father was a strong and stoic man who cared about people even if he pretended he didn’t. Like his own father. 

Jack was taken aback by the embrace but welcomed it, patting his back gently. “You’re alright, son. You’re alright.”

Notes:

i really wanted to make mary completely supportive, but ya know bc of her faith and upbringing, it wouldn’t make sense (plus unfortunately i like being realistic, and not everyone’s gonna approve) but it makes sense for her not to agree but also not care bc ya know she all about her children’s happiness.

also i love jack and a certain blond needs to work out his mommy and daddy issues

For Context

Go raibh maith agat, mamaí --> Thank you, Mom in Irish. The literal translation is "May you have goodness"

Bannock --> Originally an indigenous Canadian frybread, though many First Nation and other tribes have adopted the food as a result of forced movement and loss of traditional ingredients from being forced onto reservations, today it has considerable cultural significance and also I'm told it tastes very good (I should make some).

Chapter 119: Veteran (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

Ronnie and Laurie separately contemplate their identities as the first anniversary of Valentina’s death comes up. Scott sees his father.

CW: Mention of death/mourning, mention of Anti-Semitism, discussion of period-typical racism, some period typical attitudes/homophobia, terminal illness

Notes:

ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDS ONE MORE FUCKING CHAPTER TO GO HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 119: Veteran

 

Saturday, August 25th, 1979, Upper West Side, Manhattan, New York



The first anniversary of Valentina’s death snuck up on him. They had spent the entire month of August moving and selling furniture. The house in Bayside was sold, and Benjamin and August would start school at the nearby elementary two blocks away. Benjamin was entering fourth grade, which made Ronnie feel extremely old, and August was starting pre-k. Jennifer was still an English teacher at Bayside High School but planned to transfer to the local high school after the upcoming school year. 

“Maybe I’ll even get a job at one of the private schools,” she had mentioned during breakfast a week ago.

It wasn’t his choice to move into Scott’s apartment, and truthfully, he was still annoyed that Scott would be paying for everything, though maybe the resentment was from being unable to work. He didn’t know any married couple where the wife worked and the husband stayed home. Sure, Scott was often home, but he still had a job—one that made a shit ton of money. 

It wasn’t until he was standing outside on the balcony smoking a cigarette when he realized it was August 25th. One year. It’d been a year since August’s mother died. It hit him like a punch to the stomach, and he clutched the railings for support. How could have he forgotten?

“You alright?” Jennifer asked as the glass door slid open, and she stepped out, Toby following behind. “You looked sick all of a sudden."

“I forgot it was August 25th.”

“Mmm. You okay?”

He shrugged, leaning over the railing and staring at the busy street below. The sounds of cars and horns honking faded from forty stories up. “It’s been a year. Doesn’t feel like that.”

Jennifer rubbed his shoulder gently, standing next to him. “I don’t need to make sure that you don’t try to jump over the railing?”

He chuckled softly, scratching Toby’s ears. “No.”

“You’re not the only one who misses her, honey.”

“I know. …Do you think August knows what today is?”

She shook her head. “He’s excited about the picnic today. I haven’t seen him this cheerful in a while. Should we say something?”

“I dunno. I’d feel like an asshole if we didn’t, but if we did, we’d ruin his day and probably the rest of the week too.”

“What would make you feel like less of an asshole?”

“Not mentioning it,” he glumly admitted. “It’s been two months since he last woke up crying for his Mamma. I don’t wanna mess him up more.”

“So don’t say anything to the kids?”

He nodded, turning to Toby. “You’re gonna love today.”

The dog wagged his tail in reply. 

The picnic was the last social outing before the school year began. Rosie, who was staying with them, had already missed her first week of school, so Scott was flying to Houston with her tomorrow. According to him, Beth was more upset about her missing Laura’s second birthday than school. 

Scott had been quiet lately. He rarely talked during dinners and afterward, when they were in bed… he barely said a word, other than a quiet moan. Even August talked more than he did. 

He was in the kitchen, packing the rest of the lunch with Mandy for the picnic. Ronnie didn’t like the fact they had a person to clean up after them, but he didn’t say anything about that either. He didn’t want to be the reason why someone lost their job.

Isaac and Bian, who had ironically moved to Woodmere, which was right outside of Queens, two days before they moved out, were meeting them in the eastern part of Central Park. Ronnie was looking forward to having friends in the area, considering the only people he knew were friends of either Scott or Jennifer, mostly from their lines of work. Moving states had made him realize how few friends he actually had. 

It was sunny, and the sky was clear and blue, warm but not too hot, recently cooled from the previous day’s rain. They weren’t the only ones on a picnic that day—the park was covered in people with blankets and sandwiches, watching children run around and play. When they met up with the couple, Isaac had immediately called Scott Hans Wilhelm Ludwig von Schwarzenberg of Augsburg. Scott told him to fuck off quietly so the kids couldn’t hear, but he chuckled lightly.

“I’m still annoyed that you moved out of Queens two days after we moved to Woodmere,” Isaac complained, taking a bite of his sandwich. 

“Manhattan is pretty close, dude,” Ronnie answered, scoffing.

“It’s like an additional thirty minutes via car, man. I’m hurt. I have like six friends, and you guys are half of them.”

Bian chuckled, setting Casey, her and Isaac’s five month old son, on the blanket to crawl. “Then you will be very sad to hear what Jennifer told me.”

“What?”

Jennifer shrugged. “We might be moving to Woodstock in a few years. Scott bought some property.”

Isaac scowled, giving Ronnie a look. “Fuck you.”

Scott snickered.

Only the adults and babies were on the blanket, Benjamin, August, Dean, and Esther playing nearby, running around with a frisbee the Rosenbergs had brought. Toby chased them all the while, attempting to catch the toy in his mouth whenever someone threw it. Donoma and Patrick were very intrigued by the younger baby, Patrick handing Casey toys while Donoma tried to take said toys away. Watching babies interact with each other was very entertaining. 

“Donoma, stop taking toys away from Casey,” Jennifer lectured, grabbing her daughter’s hand. 

Isaac chuckled. “Casey is very non-confrontational. He gets it from his mother.”

Bian shrugged. “I don’t like to fight.”

“And yet, you married the one person I know who swears and argues more than these two,” Jennifer mused, smiling.

“I say fuck a lot, I know, but my Papa always says it’s important to speak up.”

Bian gave her husband a look. “You know he means something entirely different.” She turned to the other three adults. “You know Esther’s third word was fuck? I was so angry at him.”

“I have since learned to watch my mouth when they start talking.” He turned to Casey. “But everything is fair game with you, libling.”

Ronnie nodded. “Benjamin knows most swear words, which I admit is my fault, but he just gets mad when I swear and says it’s a bad word and that I shouldn’t say it.”

“Very wise of my nephew.”

Scott smiled faintly. 

Isaac pointed to the trouple. “So… you guys are gonna live together, raise the kids, and like fuck?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Ronnie mumbled, taking a sip of his pop, though Scott would tease him relentlessly if he heard him call it anything but soda.  

“Hmph. Well, okay. But isn’t your daughter their cousin, Scott?”

Scott propped himself on his elbows. “We told Benjamin and August that Rosie is still their cousin, and only Donoma is her sibling.”

“That sounds confusing.”

“They understood well enough.”

“The simplicity of being a child,” Jennifer murmured. 

Ronnie grunted in agreement.

“Oh, before I forget, my parents wanted to invite all of you for Rosh Hashanah dinner, my entire extended family will be there. I gave Mama your number, so be on the lookout for a call from a lady with a mix of a New Yorker and German accent.”

Jennifer smiled. “Thank you! That’s Jewish New Year, right?”

“Yup. Mama and Papa are eager to meet you. …I talk too much.”

Bian crossed her arms. “Your ‘entire extended family’ consists of us, your sister, her girlfriend, your parents, and your maternal grandmother.”

Scott cocked his head. “You don’t have any other relatives?”

“I’m German Jewish, man.”

Ronnie remembered a conversation he once had with Isaac in Vietnam, in which he had told him that his father was the sole survivor in his family, as was his maternal grandfather before he died. He felt awkward. 

The blond frowned. “Oh. I’m sorry, that was ignorant of me.”

He waved him off. “It’s fine. It’ll be fun, and even better, Rabbi Demsky and his family are not coming this year.”

Jennifer snickered. “Is it because of his evil little rabbits?” 

“Shut up, and no, even if his rabbits are evil beings, his youngest son Chaim—hate him—I cannot describe how much I do, little bitch.”

“Honey, you’re a grown man.”

“No, be glad you’re not meeting him. Mama told me he had some choice words when he learned I married you.”

She immediately changed her facial expressions. “Nevermind, he is a little bitch.”

“Do you think it’s because of the evil rabbits, that they somehow corrupted him?” Jennifer wiggled her eyebrows.

Isaac flipped her off in reply.

Everyone else chuckled. 

Bian stood up after a minute, her lips pressed in concern. “I don’t like how far they are, not after that poor child’s disappearance in May.”

Ronnie frowned. The six year old had disappeared while walking to the bus stop in Soho, which was only twenty-eight minutes on the subway from the Upper West Side. Since then, the three had decided to always walk the boys to and from school, even if it was only two blocks away. The idea of any of his children being abducted on their way to school horrified him—as were most parents. 

“I’m going to go over and keep a better eye. Are you coming with, Scott?”

He stood. “Sure. I share your apprehensions.”

Jennifer, Ronnie, and Isaac watched the pair walk away. 

“Do you like being in New York again?” Jennifer asked, handing some sliced apples to Patrick.

“Fuck yeah—sorry, I know those two are speaking now.”

Donoma looked up. “Fak.”

Ronnie choked on his Coca-Cola, laughing. 

Isaac grimaced. “Sorry.”

Jennifer sighed and looked at her daughter. “I can’t even tell you not to say that ‘cause you’ll just keep sayin’ it.”

She giggled and turned her attention back to Casey and her brother, who was now eating the apple slices. 

“Back to the question, man.”

He smiled. “It’s great. The kids aren’t the sole Jews or Vietnamese anymore. Woodmere has a growing Jewish community, and There’s a small Vietnamese enclave in Chinatown, so Bian’s pretty happy about that. It was probably the biggest reason why we moved. We didn’t want our kids to be looked down on because they were different. Where we used to live, the nearest synagogue was 45 minutes away, and the only other Jews in the town were an elderly couple who ended up moving too. I mean, I don’t go every week, but ya know, I’m still religious. 

…And after Saigon’s fall, people started being nastier to Bian, and I could see how miserable she was. I hated that I really couldn’t do anything. And in truth, that was the biggest reason why I left the army. Everyone on the base was just so rude and asshole-y behind her back, I couldn’t take it. Like shut up, you’re not gonna call every German a Nazi.”

Ronnie nodded. “I remember Benjamin when he was in kindergarten, he told me some kids on his bus were calling him pretty racist stuff, and he had no idea what it meant or why it was bad. I was so mad that I had to pull over in the middle of a backroad on a mountain.”

Jennifer looked disgusted. “What’d ya do?”

He smiled. “I went to the bus stop with him that Monday, found the kids’ mom, and told her all about her little shithead sons. I love towering over people, really adds to the effect. Then we got to talking, and she was a very stressed divorced mother of four kids, and I kid you not, biggest tits I’ve ever seen in my life. Very hard not to stare. She was wearing a tight shirt too.”

“Bigger than mine?”

“Yeah, she was like an I-cup.”

Both Isaac and Jennifer’s eyes widened. 

“God damn,” he muttered. “I’m guessing this story ends with you hooking up with her?”

He grinned bigger. “Yeah, she was like two decades older than me, and I was 25—was great. You’d be very surprised by the amount of stamina women going through menopause have. I even stayed over at her house with Benjamin under the guise of an apology dinner, and she also had a daughter Benjamin’s age. Her older kids knew exactly what I was doing. My achieving moment.”

Jennifer shook her head. “God, Ronnie.”

He shrugged. “Since then, I have decided to make my presence known to Benjamin’s classmates and let them know his daddy is 6’4 and not afraid to punch someone.”

“You’d punch a kid?”

“If any kid of mine comes home crying or feeling like they should hurt themselves or that they hate themselves because of the way someone from school made them feel, I will go and fucking punt that little fucker, I don’t care. And if not the kid, definitely the parent.”

Isaac cocked his head. “How have you not been arrested for assault?”

“Pure luck.”

“I agree with you, baby, but let’s not hit children.”

“I can only promise so much.”

She scowled. 

Their friend chuckled lightly, looking to see Bian and Scott standing with the kids and dog, chitchatting. “Is everything okay? Scott seems pretty down, and so were you two earlier.”

“Today’s the first anniversary of August’s mother’s death.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know Valentina very well, but she seemed like a nice woman. I know she and Bian bonded over being immigrants and the strangeness of America. Do the boys know she was your stepmother?”

“No. We plan to tell them, that’s something you shouldn’t keep hidden forever, but I wanna wait until August is old enough before I tell both of them.”

“So that’s why Scott’s quiet?”

“No,” Jennifer interjected. “He’s been quiet for the last few days. His father is dying of terminal lung cancer, but he hasn’t heard from his parents since he told them that he liked having sex with men.”

“Jesus.”

“He’s made amends with his older brother since then, and he keeps him updated. Scott’s leaving tomorrow to fly Rosie back to Houston, and I think while he’s in Texas, he’ll try to see his dad.”

Ronnie jerked his head. “He told you this?”

She looked embarrassed. “Uh, no, I listened in on his last phone call with his brother.”

“Do you two think it’ll do him any good?”

“I don’t know. Scott’s mother can’t stand him, but according to him, he’s always had a decent relationship with his father. I think Charlie will try to make sure Mrs. Stern is not at the hospital.”

Ronnie knew how overbearing and demanding Clarie Stern was. “I wish him luck.”

“ISAAC! COME HERE!” Bian shouted. Next to her was a woman with curly brown hair and overalls petting Toby while she talked to Scott. 

Isaac stood, clearly recognizing the woman. “Oh, that’s Dana, my sister’s girlfriend. Ya mind watching Casey for a minute? I’ll be back in a moment and introduce ya.”

“Of course, we can handle three babies for a few minutes, can’t we, Ronnie?”

He gave his friend a thumbs up. 

Isaac jogged away, and Ronnie rested his head in his wife’s lap. The clouds in the sky were white and puffy and looked like cotton candy. He knew clouds were made of water, but he still always wanted to eat one. 

Patrick shared his apples with Donoma while Casey crawled toward Jennifer, reaching out to touch the bangles on her arms. She let him. The bracelets clinked when they touched and jiggled when she moved her arm. 

He thought about Valentina’s sky-blue eyes that changed color when she was outside, depending on the weather. He missed her. He missed her accent and her little laugh. He missed her broken English and way of putting things that always made sense. He’d give up having sex to see her alive and well again—that was how much he fucking missed her. Ronnie never thought about Nguyệt that way. He missed Valentina more than his first wife. The guilt struck him like an arrow. He had married Nguyệt for Christ’s sake. He was on a picnic with her fucking sister. 

“You okay?” Jennifer asked, looking down at her lap as she ran her left hand through his hair. 

“I feel guilty.”

“That you lived?”

“Well, yes, but not about that exactly.”

“What then?”

“I miss Valentina more than Nguyệt. I think I loved her more—somewhere between platonic and romantic. It hurts more to think about her than Nguyệt.”

“You knew Valentina longer. You two had a unique relationship.”

He looked into her dark eyes. “You must think me some kind of slut, having slept with most of my friends.”

She leaned down and kissed his lips gently. “You’re fine, honey.”

He smiled against her lips. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“You make me happy.”

“Hmm.” He sat up and kissed her again. “I hope Scott finds what he’s looking for in Texas.”

“Me too. I hate seeing him so down.”

“His father was always kind to me, even though it was quite clear Beth and I were lower class.”

“Perhaps he’ll be forgiving now that he’s dying.”

“Perhaps.” 

 

Sugar Land, Texas 

 

Beth had just finished dinner when the front door opened. She set the pot down on the counter and took off her oven mitts as Laurie waltzed into the kitchen. She smiled. 

“Good evening.”

Laurie smiled tiredly as they kissed. “How was your day?”

“Fun. Laura and I worked on a puzzle today. Well, I did the puzzle, Laura just watched and tried to put pieces in her mouth. How was yours?”

He set his work bag down and shrugged. “Meh.”

“Aw, sorry to hear that.”

“I mean, nothing bad happened—I was just bored. …Just like every other single day at work.”

“Well, I made a delicious dinner if I do say so myself—one of my favorites when I was little.”

“Lemme guess, it has potatoes?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to eat.”

He had a glimmer of a smirk. “I’ll always eat what you make, honey.”

They took turns feeding Christopher during dinner, and today was Laurie’s turn, who quietly poked at his plate while giving their son a spoonful of mashed peas. Laura ate her dinner much louder, food on her face and clothes. She was bright for a two year old, already holding her fork and spoon properly as she ate. Compared to Rosie, Laura had so far been a piece of cake, an angel. 

“Scott will be here tomorrow with Rosie,” she mused, swallowing her mashed potatoes. 

“What time do I need to be at the airport?”

“He said he was driving and dropping her off. Something about needing to do something up north, and it’d be easier to drive.”

“What’s up north? I can’t think of anything why he’d go up there.”

Beth shrugged. “He’s from a small town an hour outside of Dallas, but I doubt it’s family-related since he doesn’t talk to them, and they don’t talk to him.”

“They don’t?” He lifted his eyebrows.

She raised hers. “Why do you think?”

“Oh yeah. Forgot about that.”

Beth pursed her lips. “Is everything alright?”

“Fine,” Laurie answered, but he gave her a look that meant later. 

She nodded and turned to Laura. “Are you excited to see your sister?”

“Rosie?”

“Mhmm.”

She nodded. “Crisofer is borwing.”

Beth chuckled. “Babies tend to be. I miss your sister too.” Quite a lot.

She did the dishes while Laurie put the kids to bed. She rinsed each plate slowly, taking her time before she put them in the dishwasher. The house in Ridge’s Creek didn’t have a dishwasher. She still remembered how odd she found the dishwasher in Long Beach. She had refused to use it for the first three months. Now it was a staple in many houses. So much has changed since she was little. 

When she finished, she wiped her hands and went into their bedroom, where Laurie was sitting on their bed, picking at his nails.

Beth sat next to him, wiping her hands on her skirt. “What is it?”

He swallowed. “I feel so bored.”

“What do you mean?”

“I do the same thing every single day. All day is meetings and then paperwork and then more meetings and some more paperwork. I go home, we have dinner, and then it’s the same tomorrow.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not you. I don’t know… I just feel our life is so mundane, and I’m tired of it. I wouldn’t mind some change.”

She nodded. Beth knew he just needed to rant it out, and she would reply when he finished. 

“I work as hard as anyone else, and God, I want to be promoted so badly, but nothing ever happens, and I’m sick of it. I’ve been at the company for four years and nothing. All my other work buddies my age have at least gotten a pay raise. I haven’t.”

Beth rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed affectionately. “I can understand how you feel. I think I feel the same to some extent. Maybe it’s because everyone else we know's lives are a bit hectic, but it’s also good to have stability.”

“I wouldn’t mind some crazy if it meant a pay raise.”

“I don’t know. I hate that Scott lives so far away because I can’t check on Rosie when he has her, and… I don’t want her to think what her father is doing with my brother and Jennifer is okay. It’s not, and I know how Scott is, and he’ll tell her it’s normal, and then she’ll come back indoctrinated!”

Laurie sighed and wrapped his arm around her. “Hey.”

She leaned into him. “You’re not the only one who needs to rant.”

“Maybe we should leave Houston. Make a fresh start.”

“I don’t know—I love the friends we’ve made and the community.”

He kissed her neck. “It would be fun to start a new adventure.” 

“I suppose.”

He licked a ticklish spot on her neck, and she giggled. “We can wait a few years, save up and stuff.”

Beth turned to face her husband. “I want to live near the ocean or mountains. Preferably both.”

He kissed her lips. “Let’s do it then.”

“Okay, Mr. Horny,” she muttered, glancing at his tightened bulge. 

“Not my fault I have such a beautiful and sexy wife.”

She blushed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Laurie Alders.”

He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you, Beth Alders.”

 

Tuesday, August 28th, 1979, Dallas, Texas

 

The hall was empty and other than Scott, the only person in the hallway was a nurse holding medication vials. She nodded at him politely, her eyes lifting in recognition as she walked past. Her scrubs matched the blue shirt he was wearing. 

He sighed loudly, clenching his fists to keep them from shaking, and stepped in front of the closed brown door. He took a deep breath, quickly opened the door, and stepped inside before he could have second thoughts. 

The room was bigger than most hospital rooms, with a couch, table, and counter space, meant for long-term stays. There was a grey door on the right with a bathroom sign, and on the left, a large window that looked out into the busy street below. In the center, a hospital bed surrounded by an oxygen tank, vital signs monitor, and a stand with two IV bags. 

William Stern had lost weight since the last time Scott saw him. He was bald, and instead of a hospital gown, he was wearing the blue striped pajamas he’d been wearing since Scott was little. From the oxygen tank, clear tubes were fitted at his nose and connected into one behind his ears. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be sleeping.

Scott’s heart pounded loudly, and he coughed. 

Quickly, William’s eyes opened and widened. “...Scott?”

“Dad.”

The old man smiled. “Is that really you?”

He nodded, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to the bed. “In the flesh.”

“How… how did you know?”

“Charlie and I made amends last year. He uh showed up at my apartment with Lenora and the kids and apologized. I don’t think I’d ever heard the words I’m sorry from his mouth before. We’ve been calling since. He uh told me in September, but my life’s been hectic lately, so I haven’t been able to, ya know, come down when Mother’s not here, and I’ve been kinda scared to.”

“Why?”

He gave his father a look. “Cause I told y’all I like having sex with men. And uh you know all about my lovely relationship with my mother.”

William nodded. “I think I owe you an apology, son.”

“What?” 

“What kind of father am I to disown my son? Let my wife take it to the extremes that she did? Maybe this death sentence has had me think, but I don’t want you to remember me as the father who stopped talking to his son because he was different.”

Scott swallowed and blinked. “So, you’re okay with me?”

“You’re my son, and if anything, I should be proud of you. You’re successful and famous.”

“The money you gave got me there.”

William sat up, coughing loudly. “And how is my granddaughter?”

“Um, well, I wanna talk to you about that. I’m in a relationship. I uh got technical step-kids. I’m not gay—well, I still like men, but the occasional woman too. What I’m trying to say is along with Rosie, but I have twins, boy and a girl, but only the girl is your granddaughter.”

William stared. “...I’m sorry? You have twins, but only one is your daughter?”

“They’re both my kids, it’s a bit different.”

“Well… okay. What’s her name?”

“Donoma. It’s an Omaha name—her mother’s an Indian.”

He fell back onto his pillow. “Rosie and Donoma. Lovely names.”

“Yeah.” Scott swallowed. “So you’re really dying?”

“It appears so. Charlie’s already runnin’ the ranch, and your mother is going out of her way to be a nuisance. She’s here almost every day, just to talk ‘bout my will because I am leaving money to our workers. …I shouldn’t have put up with the way she treated you. I’d divorce her if I weren’t dying.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I think I stopped loving your mama a long time ago. My mother told me I shouldn’t have married her. I didn’t believe she was nasty then. She’s a Quaker, ain’t they supposed to be peaceful and kind?”

“I think she’s an outlier.”

William chuckled lightly. “Are you happy, Scott?”

“Yes.”

“Even after what we did to you?”

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

He yawned. “Would you bring Rosie and Donoma before I die? I know I don’t deserve the request, but I would like to see my granddaughters.”

“I wouldn’t mind at all doing that. Claire would be a different story.”

“Lord knows you’ve done wrong when your child calls you by your Christian name.” He paused. “My lawyer is coming tomorrow. I’m going to make final revisions to the will and seal it for when I die. I am going to add you back and your daughters.”

“I don’t need the money, Dad.”

“It ain’t about the money—I admit the thought of your mother’s reaction derives me some pleasure.”

The blond chuckled. 

“The money will be for the girls, set up a trust fund. I… we, as in the Sterns formerly von Schwarzenbergs, have a house outside of Augsburg—we used to go there when you and your brother were little.”

“I remember… wait, you’re giving it to me?”

He nodded, reaching out and grabbing Scott’s hand. His hand was boney and cold. “The von Schwarzenberg House. We haven’t been since 1970, and it needs someone who will use it frequently.”

Scott sat there in shock. The country villa was from the 1700s. “Are you sure?”

“Your grandfather and great-grandfather would be ashamed to know that you and Charlie speak French but no German. Perhaps you can take advantage of the house.”

“...I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything.” William breathed out slowly, as if it hurt to do so. “I love you, Scott. Don’t forget that.”

Scott felt his throat close up. “I was… I was so scared to come. I don’t want you to die.”

“The Lord has decided it is my time. It’s our job now to accept it.”

“I’ve dealt with so much death lately. I don’t want to anymore.”

William squeezed his hand harder. “You’ll be just fine. You’re 28 now. All grown up.”

He laid his head on his father’s arm, sighing. William ran a hand through his hair. “My Little Shaggy Dog,” he whispered, calling him the nickname he used when Scott was a child and would play with the cattle dogs, pretending to help herd cows. 

Scott closed his eyes, blinking out tears, and enjoyed his dying father’s company.

Notes:

i need to write a short story that's just william's will reading to cheer me that will be so fucking funny to write

 

For Context

libling --> darling in German

Ethan Patz was a six year old boy who went missing on his way to school on May 25th, 1979. His disappearance led to the usage of missing kids pics on milk cartons, awareness of stranger danger, and increased measures to protect kids from kidnapping.

Chapter 120: To the New Year and Decade (Vol II, Part VI)

Summary:

The 70s and the story come to an end as the trio finally honeymoon in Europe.

CW: Explicit sex (longest one in this book 😳)

Notes:

Here we are guys! It's been a long and equally fun journey and I'm so grateful for y'all and the encouragement from my friends—I cannot say thank you enough. Please enjoy the last chapter :) <3

also a happy orthodox easter to all my orthodox homies and happy early eid to all my muslim homies

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 120: To the New Year and Decade

 

December 31st, 1979, Outside of Augsburg, West Germany



Jennifer often teased Scott about his wealthy upbringing, but when she learned his family had a centuries-old villa in Germany, she became relentless, asking about it every chance she got. So when Scott had suggested they go to Europe for the honeymoon that never happened, she eagerly jumped on board. Ronne did too, though she suspected he was only curious about the villa and more enthusiastic since it would be a honeymoon, not any ordinary vacation. 

Mary, Eileen, Jack, and Georgina had teamed up to watch the four kids and dog while they trapezed around Europe. Jennifer felt guilty about leaving the kids alone until mid-January, but it was nice to walk around naked and not worry about kids—easier access for sex. Her parents would fly to New York and stay at the apartment until they came back. She hoped the sub could handle her classes. 

The villa was beautiful, rustic and old, but fully updated with appliances, electricity, and heating. There were six bedrooms, and Scott planned to convert half of the cellar into two more bedrooms. The master bedroom featured a balcony that overlooked a forest, and in the distance, one could see the city of Augsburg, its bright lights standing out in the darkness. Jennifer could stay there forever. 

At five o’clock, it was already past sundown, and the sky outside was pitch black, other than the stars and moon. They lounged in the living room as Ronnie poked at the fireplace, Scott pouring another glass of Jägermeister before putting it back in the drink cooler. Dinner was simmering on the stove, a stew based on Coddle, an Irish dish, but Ronnie used Bavarian ingredients instead, such as Weisswurst. It was a meal his family always ate on New Year’s, so of course he would make it now. 

“I still feel guilty we’re here and the kids are back home,” Ronnie mused, setting the iron poker down. “We’ve missed Christmas, and now we’re missing New Year’s.”

“Don’t forget Jennifer’s birthday and our anniversary,” Scott added, sipping his drink.

“I miss them too, but I’ve also enjoyed having sex in the middle of the afternoon under the sun where I know no little grubby kid is gonna interrupt. Being away has finally allowed my tits to recover from breastfeeding. My body senses when the twins are near. My nipples don’t feel like they’re about to fall off anymore.

“I’ll miss them,” Ronnie sighed. “It tasted good.”

“Ew.”

Scott plopped himself on the sofa. “You let us.”

“I’m a hypocrite.”

He shrugged, turning his attention to the older man. “You think the stew is ready?”

“Probably. I’ll go check,” he mumbled, walking off.

“Where do you wanna go for your birthday?” 

Jennifer shrugged. “I like here.”

“We can go to West Berlin. I know people.”

“Staring at the Wall will just make me sad.”

“France? I speak French.”

“I know you speak French. We were there last week. …If we could, I’d wanna go to Riga.”

He frowned. “From what it looks like, Detenté is ending, so I doubt travel there will happen while the Soviet Union stands.”

She snuggled against him. “I can’t believe they invaded Afghanistan. On Christmas Eve too.”

“Afghanistan is a Muslim nation.”

“Still. First with the revolution and hostages in Iran, and now this? I doubt either will end well.”

“What won’t end well?” Ronnie asked, reappearing from the hall.

“Iran and Afghanistan.”

“Mmm. Uh well, dinner’s ready, just turned off the stove.”

“Ronnie, do ya wanna go to Belfast? We can see your Aunt Moira, check out your family’s hometown in Banbridge.” 

Ronnie shook his head. “I can’t.”

Jennifer raised a brow. “Why not?”

“I’m the first male McKittrick not a part of the IRA or any Irish nationalist group, and that’s because I was raised in the US. I feel like my terrorist genes would activate, and next thing you know, I’m helping make bombs. It’s in my blood.”

She chuckled. “Seriously?”

“I’m being serious. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m kinda sympathetic to the cause.”

“Didn’t know we had a militant nationalist here,” Scott muttered.

“Fuck off. I don’t know, with the violence being at an all time high, and me being a Catholic, albeit non-practicing, but it still sticks with you—not a good idea. I can name seven family members off the top of my head who were in the IRA. Plus, I look a lot like my dad and grandpa, who was pretty well known.”

Scott looked amused. “We really named Patrick after a fucking IRA leader.”

He nodded. “My family would be so proud.” He sat on the arm of the sofa. “We can go to Ireland, see Líadan, Tommy, and Jodie. I think Jodie’s being baptized next week.”

Jennifer grimaced at the word baptism. Mary had been harking them to get the twins baptized—a Catholic one at that. She finally relented when they told her they would baptize Donoma and Patrick at St. Patrick’s Cathedral while she and Eileen arrived in New York for the boat to Ireland. Neither Ronnie, Scott, nor Jennifer had many Catholic friends, so it had been a scramble to find at least one Catholic godparent. Angie, Jennifer’s best friend, was suddenly very proud to have been raised Italian Catholic. Honestly, she was the only Catholic Jennifer knew very well that she wasn’t related to by marriage. Donoma’s godparents were going to be Angie and Bobby, and Patrick’s godparents were going to be Isaac and Líadan. Isaac was very excited to participate in a Catholic ceremony and proudly tell the priest after he’s Jewish. 

“Oh, don’t give me that look. I told Líadan we’d be in the continent.”

“We just saw her in October for her wedding.”

“Welcome to fucking Ireland. We see family members all the time. Anyone from Northern Ireland with my last name is probably a third or fourth cousin.”

“It’s the same with tribes—I mean, you two know the story.”

Scott swallowed the rest of his Jägermeister. “Ireland it is. But I also wanna do Iceland.”

“Why? I’ll be the only non-white person there.”

“I have a friend who said I could use his cabin in Bifröst.”

“Be-what?”

“Bifröst, it’s a small community there.”

“How do you know an Icelandic guy?” 

“Music engineer, you met him—Peter Sívarsson.”

“Oh, I thought he was Norwegian, Jennifer admitted, feeling embarrassed.

“Don’t let him hear you say that. I’ve been there before, it’s a really nice cabin, warm and cozy. And cabin sex rules.”

“He does make a point.”

She shrugged. “Oh, why not—we can worry about the ten feet of snow later.”

Dinner was nice and hot, and surprisingly, the Germanified version of Coddle was decent. All three of them had seconds. Scott went for thirds, mostly since they had no dessert. 

“I think we should move to the bedroom and have the last sex of the 70s,” Ronnie remarked, lighting a cigarette. 

“Oh god, it’ll be 1980 in a few hours,” Scott mumbled, rubbing his face. 

“Lots of people are having ‘last sex of the 70s’, honey.”

“But ours will be the best.”

Scott nodded. “Well, let me digest my food and use the bathroom.”

“Twenty minutes?”

Ronnie scoffed. “God, we are scheduling when to have sex. I feel closer to the dreaded 30s every day.”

“You’re turning 30 in a month.”

He shuddered. “Don’t remind me.”

Jennifer found herself lounging on the bed nude later, waiting for her men to show up. The blankets and pillows were folded neatly on the couch next to the bed, leaving the cream-colored sheets. It was close to 7:30, only four and a half hours before the decade ended. She still couldn’t believe it. So much had happened. Scott and Ronnie would enjoy making “I haven’t seen you in a decade” jokes. 

There was lube on the nightstand, waiting eagerly to be used. There also was a pair of handcuffs in the drawer, and she was waiting for a day to use them with Scott while Ronnie wasn’t around. He’d told her he’d be down for it—maybe while they were in Ireland.

Ronnie walked in, holding a bottle of champagne and three flute glasses. He only had his underwear on. “You look ravishing.”

“Thank you,” she replied, shifting and opening her legs. “The champagne for the countdown?”

“Yup,” he answered, setting the bottle and glasses on a small table next to the balcony. “I think I might sneak a little preview,” he added, pulling off his underwear and diving into the bed, directly at her spread legs. 

Jennifer giggled at the ticklish sensation as he kissed her lower thigh. 

“Hey, don’t start without me,” Scott protested, standing in the doorway butt-naked.  

“I’m just getting a little preview,” Ronnie mumbled between her legs, licking the tips of her folds.

She gasped and pushed his head away. “Let’s have Blondie join us before you eat me.”

“Fine.”

Scott bounced onto the bed, propping himself on his elbow. “Since your birthday’s in four days, you get to be in charge of the bedroom. I would like to know your plans for us.”

She smirked. “I wanna sit on your face while Ronnie rides you.”

“I like this idea.”

Ronnie kissed his cheek. 

“And then when you pop a boner again, Ronnie and I will go front and behind.”

“Tag team?” Her husband asked, sitting up and kissing her shoulder.

“Mhmm.”

“I’m hard already,” Scott muttered, watching his cock come to life. 

Ronnie reached for the lube and glanced at Scott. “Wanna use tongue?” He wriggled his eyebrows seductively. 

He almost dove for the dark-haired man’s crotch. “I would be delighted.”

Jennifer laughed, kissing her husband’s lips, clenching her thighs in desire. Ronnie wrapped his arms around her neck, shifting so he was almost lying on top of her. Scott sat behind as he kissed and licked Ronnie’s back, going lower and lower. 

Ronnie gasped against her mouth when Scott’s tongue found its mark. She bucked her hips upward and grabbed his ass cheeks, spreading them apart for easier access. She could see Scott’s grey eyes glancing upward, devilishly amused. 

Ronnie shifted her upward and attached his mouth to her breast, a hand on the other. With his right hand, he rubbed against her folds before slowly inserting a single finger into her, already wet and begging to be touched.

She yelped at the same time as Ronnie, who was against her chest, so she assumed Scott found his spot. Jennifer bucked her hips again, trying to rub against Ronnie’s cock. He slipped another finger, watching as Scott sat back and rubbed lube over himself. 

A moment later, she watched as Scott lay on the bed, Ronnie hovering, hand on the other man’s shaft as he slowly lowered himself. Scott wrapped his hands around Ronnie’s hips, guiding him. Jennifer watched as Ronnie gasped at the impact, and her hand lowered to touch herself. The men both exhaled loudly, and Scott reached out and pulled her closer.

She kissed him before turning around to kiss her husband, who was rocking himself slowly, panting against her mouth. Scott grabbed her hips and pulled her back, kissing the small of her back, hands wrapping around her breasts. She leaned back as she sighed. His hands were warm, and it felt like heaven. It was heaven. 

When his tongue touched her insides, Jennifer almost bucked forward into Ronnie. Her body jerked involuntarily, and she moaned as Scott’s hands dug into her thighs, sweaty from movement. It was a dance of bodies, giving and taking in a strange U-shaped fashion. Her arms intertwined with Ronnie’s, and their mouths entangled with the other, gasping and grunting, teeth against teeth, tongue against tongue. No words were needed—they all knew their bodies well, to what made them cry out in pleasure and burn in aroused shame. 

A heat in her core burned stronger, and she squeezed Scott’s head with her thighs as he dipped from her cunt to her clit, and she answered with an audible moan. 

Through lust-glazed eyes, she watched her husband sink up and down, driving his hips forward, hands on Scott’s chest. He was hard, dripping, and it looked painful, but she didn’t dare touch it. Two erections were a miracle for Ronnie on his meds. It was for the second part, no matter how much Jennifer wanted to bend down and take him into her mouth. 

Intensity ran through her body, and she cried loudly, falling to her side, shaking from her orgasm. Scott gasped loudly for breath before sitting up and kissing Ronnie, his face still covered in her juices. Ronnie lapped it up eagerly. They wrapped their hands around each other’s heads as Scott started making the little whimpering noises he always made before coming. The other man quickened his pace accordingly.

Jennifer breathed slowly, watching them with half-closed eyes when the blonde grunted as he came, Ronnie burying his face into his neck, riding the orgasm out. He pulled off quickly and landed next to Jennifer, panting. Scott fell back as well, and through his heavy breathing, he chuckled. 

She smiled, the lube now in her hands, as she crawled over to Scott and kissed him gently, tasting herself on his lips. She tugged at his shoulder, urging him to turn around. He eyed the lube in her hands and nodded, turning over and resting his head on his arms. 

Jennifer looked at Ronnie, who looked uncomfortable, ready to fuck and finish, still hard as a rock. They spoke without words, the language of old lovers long familiar to them both as she held up the lube and nodded her head toward Scott. He leaned forward and kissed her, understanding perfectly.

She squeezed the tube, watching it pour into her hand in a small swirl. She covered her middle three fingers on her right hand with it as Ronnie pulled Scott into a position that was easier for them both.

She knelt behind him, staring at his bare ass, set in front of her like a roasted suckled pig on a platter. She put a hand on his hip, steadying him before she pushed a finger into him. He gasped and turned his head back to see what she was doing.

It was looser than the last time she’d done this to him—two days ago—but it was still tight, his muscles trying to push out the foreign object. She began a steady pace, drawing her finger in and out of his body until he was panting like a dog. Then she added a second one. He whimpered, bucking his hips forward, Ronnie grunting at the impact. He gave her an impatient look from over the blond’s shoulder. They made eye contact as she added a third finger, and he smirked. 

After a few moments, Scott jerked his head back with a wild look in his eye as he grabbed Jennifer’s forearm. I’m ready. 

She nodded and pulled away, a loud, wet, popping noise as she and Ronnie moved positions. His cock was harder than ever, and he looked eager to stick it somewhere. Scott was hard again, albeit not as erect as prior, but hard enough to make her feel good. She wrapped her hand around him, and he whimpered. Ronnie placed a hand on Scott’s shoulder, his other covering his dick in lubricant. 

Hand on Scott’s penis, Jennifer guided him and slowly sank down on his cock, her thighs resting on his thighs. They both cried out. 

It felt big, and she bit her lip in a wave of pleasure-pain. Scott exhaled slowly before his eyes widened when Ronnie entered him. All three moaned as Jennifer and Ronnie set a pace. 

The men were kneeling, Scott’s hands around Jennifer as pulled her closer, Ronnie behind thrusting. In this position, he was the one controlling the movement and pace, leaning forward so he could kiss Jennifer’s lips. She smiled against his lips. They rocked him back and forth between their bodies, her body pulsating and beating, gasping and urging, wanting and taking. Ronnie muttered something under his breath before groaning and burying his face into Scott’s neck, coming. 

Scott twitched at the feeling and moaned and came, nearly collapsing from exhaustion. Jennifer laughed softly and engulfed him in her arms, glancing at Ronnie lovingly, who was lying on his back, his hand rubbing against the scar on his thigh. 

 

***

 

Scott fell asleep immediately after, worn out after two orgasms sober (mostly sober.) Ronnie had cleaned him with a warm washcloth, and Jennifer had covered him in blankets before they took a cat nap. 

They were standing behind the window next to the balcony, seven minutes to midnight, staring at the night sky. Ronnie was still naked, but Jennifer had thrown on a silk robe that was Scott’s. It was dark green and embroidered with little flowers. 

“Should we wake him up?” Ronnie mused, glancing at the sleeping blond in bed. “He’ll be pretty pissed off if he finds out he missed the countdown.”

“Let him sleep,” she answered. “We might’ve manhandled him a little too much.”

He chuckled. “Last time I’ve seen him come that hard was when I gave him a handjob two and a half years ago.”

“A handjob?”

“I have a talent.” He leaned on her shoulder and shivered. “I’m scared and excited for the next decade.”

“Me too. This one has certainly been interesting.”

“We began 1970 broken up and ended 1979 together in the end. Plus Scott.”

She smiled. “Maybe we should add his initials to ours on the oak tree.”

“Oh lord.”

“It’ll be 15 years since you did that next August.”

“Where the fuck did time go?”

“We grew up. …I never thought my life would be like this.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, sighing. “Hey, I have an idea for our wedding anniversary.”

“Hmm?”

Ronnie lifted his head. “Well, we all use it as an anniversary since there’s no fixed date when the three of us got together.”

“Yes?”

“And I love Scott as much as I love you.”

Jennifer kissed his shoulder. “As do I.”

“I know it’s not legal, but I wanna get him a ring. A wedding ring. Probably can find one while we’re in Dublin. Tommy’s uncle owns a jewelry shop.”

“That’s a beautiful idea.” She smirked. “Of course you know someone in Ireland for that.”

“Helps to be connected.” 

“I love it.”

Ronnie grinned and checked his watch on the small table next to them. “...Shit, it’s 11:57.”

Jennifer went over to the champagne bottle and opened it, bubbles spilling on her hands and the robe. “We can save Scott a glass.”

“Lie and wake him up at two and tell him it’s midnight.”

“Oh, I’m not that cruel,” she muttered, pouring champagne into two glasses. She set the bottle down and took the flutes, handing one to Ronnie, holding his watch in his other hand.

“Thanks. What’s your New Year’s resolution?”

“Have sex, buy my own car… with Scott’s money. Have more sex.”

He laughed. “Good plan.”

“And you?”

“Find a way to combat my meds’ side effects so I can have more sex. Also convince my counselor that I only need to be seen once a week, not twice. Then I’ll work on getting it down to every other week.”

“You know it’s because you have three serious mental disorders.”

“Three serious mental pains in my ass. I just wanna be horny and happy and not crazy, but no, I can only be horny if I’m sad and crazy.”

Jennifer smiled sadly. “I can’t say I disagree.”

Ronnie checked his watch again. “30 seconds to midnight.”

“Fuck.”

“Wanna count down together?”

“Let’s alternative numbers.”

They stared at the watch in his hand, watching the red hand of the clock close in on 12. Less than 30 seconds and it was the New Year. It was 1980. A decade ago, she had spent New Year’s drunk and moping over Ronnie, missing him but at the same time happy he was gone. Now he was by her side… and brought a lover too. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Ten,” Ronnie whispered.

“Nine.”

“Eight.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

She laughed. “Seven.” 

“Six.”

“Five.”

“Four.”

“Three.” 

“Two.” They grabbed each other’s hands.

“One.” 



End of Part VI

 

 

End of Volume II

 

 

End

Notes:

Holy shit. We finished. I have a lot of emotions to say for sure (but i also just watched very emotional movie so that's not helping). I wanted to say thank you to everyone who read this. y'all mean the world to me, you make my day when I see the hits, kudos, bookmarks, comments, etc. This is my first fully completed book and my longest (duh), and this is such a crazy moment for me.

 

HOWEVER, I am not done with this story. There WILL BE a sequel set in the 80s. Currently on chapter 6 of 23 in total. It'll be from 1983-1988, and it'll be formatted like this, but obviously, the parts are A LOT shorter. Part VI (1987 & 1988) is only two chapters lol. I aim to have at least the first ten chapters done by June, or at least the first part published.

Hope you enjoyed this long-ass book as much as I did writing it <3

July 2023: THANK YOU SOOOO SOOO MUCH FOR 6K AHHHHH

 

For Context

Detenté --> The period between 1969-1979 that saw the easing of tension between the USA and the Soviet Union.

Iranian Revolution --> Refers to a series of events that culminated in the overthrow of the Pahlavi dynasty in 1979. It led to the replacement of the Imperial State of Iran by the present-day Islamic Republic of Iran, as the monarchical government of Mohammed Reza Pahlavi was superseded by the theocratic government of Ruhollah Khomeini, a religious cleric who had headed one of the rebel factions. (Wiki)

Iranian Hostage Crisis --> On November 4, 1979, 52 United States diplomats and citizens were held hostage after a group of militarized Iranian college students belonging to the Muslim Student Followers of the Imam's Line, who supported the Iranian Revolution, took over the U.S. Embassy in Tehran and took them as hostages. A diplomatic standoff ensued. The hostages were held for 444 days, being released on January 20, 1981. Western media described the crisis as an "entanglement" of "vengeance and mutual incomprehension.". (Wiki) Ben Affleck's Argo is a great movie about it and the efforts from the American and Canadian gov't to bring the hostages home.

Soviet-Afghan War --> a protracted armed conflict fought in the Soviet-controlled Democratic Republic of Afghanistan from 1979 to 1989. It saw extensive fighting between the Soviet Union, the DRA, and allied paramilitary groups against the Afghan mujahideen, foreign fighters, and smaller groups of anti-Soviet Maoists. (Wiki) This was a deeply unpopular war in the USSR and would be a culminating factor in the fall of the Soviet Union. The Mujahideen were illegally supplied weapons by Ronald Reagan's admin. The mujahideen would eventually become the Taliban, so in other words, it's the Reagan administration's fault the Taliban is in power.

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