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Advocatus Diaboli

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It’s in the middle of the night, just a little after 2am and Friday has just turned into Saturday a couple of hours ago, when Harvey returns to his condo and he’s both tired and slightly inebriated after all those long weeks of trial preparations, a spectacular win at the end and tonight’s celebratory drinks, so his first reaction when he opens the sliding doors and steps onto his deck is to attribute what he sees in the far away corner to his slightly overcharged mind and to classify it as a figment of his imagination.

A young man is sprawled out on the deck chair, apparently fast asleep. He is clad in nothing but a plain white t-shirt and loose white linen trousers, barefoot and his hair incredibly tousled. He has shoved his right foot under his left leg and his left hand is dangling over the edge of the deck chair, his fingers almost touching the wooden floor.

Harvey just watches the young man for a while. He watches how his chest gently rises and falls and how his lashes form dark circles on his soft cheeks. Cheeks that look rosy even in the pale moon and star light.

For some reason unbeknownst to him, Harvey doesn’t feel scared or even a little bit alarmed. He somehow knows that there is no threat coming from that beautiful, sleeping young man on his deck. So after some minutes he simply clears his throat and watches him stir, stretch and slowly open his eyes.

They are the most intense color of blue Harvey has ever seen and for a moment his knees feel as if they might give in.

The young man blinks, once, twice, three times, looks around a little hazily and slowly sits up.

“And who might you be?” Harvey asks calmly and tilts his head.

“Shit,” the young man mutters and sits up straight. “I’m Mike.” He runs his fingers through his hair and then smoothes his palms over his chest. He still looks a little confused and he wrinkles his nose in bewilderment before he speaks again. “Or Michael, but I prefer Mike. Sorry,” he adds. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Mike,” Harvey repeats slowly and takes a step closer. “And where do you come from, Mike? How did you get in here? We’re eighteen stories high, the doors have been locked and secured and I have a doorman.”

“Oh, that.” Mike nods and rises from the deck chair. “I fell. At least I think I did.”

“You fell.” Harvey narrows his eyes. Maybe the young man, Mike, maybe Mike is a little—deranged. Maybe he should feel scared.

“Yeah,” Mike grins. “I fell.”

“You fell,” Harvey says again, frowning. “From where?”

“From above.” Mike’s eyes point upwards and Harvey cranes his head to look up. There is only the rooftop above his penthouse, where the maintenance slots are and the chimneys and the floor is covered with gravel.

“Okay,” Harvey says and looks back at Mike. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Mike wrinkles his nose again and looks around, lets his eyes wander over the city’s nightly skyline. “It’s not that far down.”

“Aren’t you cold?” It’s the beginning of October, after all, and there’s a distinct chill in the night’s air.

“No,” Mike answers and there is a slight hint of a question swinging in his words. He turns around, facing Harvey but not looking at him. Instead, he looks past Harvey at his own reflection in the huge windows and frowns. Taking a tentative step towards the windows, his frown deepens and he takes the cloth of both his trousers’ legs between his fingers, turning slowly, first to the left and then to the right.

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. “I look like a fucking yoga instructor.”

Harvey raises his eyebrows in amusement. “Well. Aren’t you one?”

No!” The blatant offense in Mike’s voice is only adding to Harvey’s amusement. “Of course not!”

“Hmmm,” Harvey turns halfway and gestures towards the door to the condo. “Do you want to come in? Have a drink with me?”

“Sure.” Mike nods and smiles broadly. “Why not?”

Harvey motions Mike inside and indicates for him to take a seat on the couch. He fixes them both a glass of scotch and hands one to Mike before he sits down opposite of him.

“So. Mike.”

“Yeah,” Mike grins and takes a tiny sip from his drink. “Hmmm, that’s good.”

Nodding, Harvey takes a slow swallow from his glass as well. “So you like scotch?”

“No, not that much.” Mike takes another sip and wrinkles his nose again. “But my brother Gabriel does. He’s crazy about that stuff, man.” Another tiny sip of scotch finds its way into Mike’s mouth. “You know him?”

“Nope.” Harvey sits back in his chair and crosses his legs.

“Ever met someone named Gabriel, then?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Harvey shakes his head.

“Hmm,” Mike hums and nods. “I won’t start with the other guys then. They’re even more obscure.”

“You have many brothers?” Harvey asks and smiles.

“Depends,” Mike answers, smiling back, “on whom you ask.”

Harvey nods. “Complicated family, then.”

Oh yes,” Mike grins. “That sums it up pretty well, if you ask me.” He looks at Harvey for a moment and then he sits back and crosses his legs as well. “Harvey.”

“Yeah,” Harvey says. “That’s me.”

“I know,” Mike replies, still grinning. “So. Harvey. What do you do, then?”

“Like, with my life?” Harvey can’t help but return Mike’s broad smile. A thought crosses his mind once more, the fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe he should be worried about that young man in his home, but that thought is gone within the blink of an eye, just like the other few times it has already flared up.


“Hmmm,” Harvey muses and brings his glass to his lips again. “Let’s put it this way. I am the devil’s advocate.”

Mike, who has just mirrored Harvey’s movement, sputters and chokes a little on the scotch in his mouth. “You what?

“Hey!” Leaning forward in his chair, Harvey looks at Mike, suddenly alert with concern. “I didn’t mean that literally, you know?”

“And here I was starting to think that that joke was on me,” Mike croaks, wiping his eyes. “Sorry.”

Harvey leans back again, smiling. “I really am an attorney, though. And I work for a pretty devilish guy named Charles Forstman.”

“Oh,” Mike says and nods, blanching. “Him.”

“You know him?”

“Yeah,” Mike confirms with a slightly trembling voice that leaves Harvey wonder if everything really is okay. “I do. Oh boy. Don’t I know him…”

“So,” Harvey addresses Mike after a moment of silence. “If you’re not a yoga instructor” – Mike shakes his head vigorously and Harvey grins – “then what are you?”

“It’s a bit difficult to explain,” Mike replies slowly, running his fingers through his hair again like he did once before on the deck. He sets down his glass and fixates Harvey across the table. “What would you say if I told you that what I am is here for you?”

Harvey can’t help but wonder what Mike’s locks would feel like between his own fingers and his skin begins to long for the touch. “I’d say you’re full of shit.”

“Huh,” Mike huffs and picks up his glass again. “You might not be too far from the truth there, dude.”

“Don’t call me dude,” Harvey mutters, raising his glass to Mike.

“Dude,” Mike grins and toasts Harvey in return. “I think I’ll call you whatever I like.”

“Not if you’re planning on staying here tonight, buddy.” Harvey has to put his foot down at least somewhere this night. There are boundaries, after all.

“Can I?” Mike asks and Harvey nods.

“’Course. You can crash on the couch – I assume you have no other place to stay?”

“Nope.” A long, deep yawn forces its way from Mike’s lungs. “And I have to admit that I haven’t been this tired in a very, very long time. I’d rather sleep in your bed, though. If that’s okay.”

Harvey listens to the following silence for some seconds before he drains his glass and nods at the other man. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

“Good.” With a glowing smile on his lips, Mike sets down his glass and raises from the sofa. “Can I take a shower before bed,” he asks, locking eyes with Harvey. “I miss taking showers.”

“Sure, Mike. Bathroom’s to the right. Just go ahead.” Harvey gestures towards the sliding doors that lead to his bedroom. “You’ll find everything you need in there. Be at home.”

“I am,” Mike replies and his smile deepens. “Thank you, Harvey.”

Harvey listens to the sounds of Mike undressing in the bedroom and the quiet, content humming that accompanies them. He can hear Mike open the door to the bathroom and after just a little while the shower is being turned on and the soft noise of falling water reaches Harvey’s ears. He picks up Mike’s glass and brings it to his lips, letting the little remains of scotch pour onto his tongue. Leaning back, he closes his eyes and sighs. This is nice, he thinks and he can feel how his chest tightens so he shifts his position a little to ease the pressure. Mike is still humming and Harvey wonders what song it might be. He doesn’t recognize it.

When Mike pops his head through the sliding doors to let Harvey know that the bathroom is free now, Harvey’s eyes are still closed and he startles when Mike calls his name.

“You fell asleep?” Mike asks with a grin on his face and a towel slung around his narrow hips.

“No,” Harvey answers, slightly indignantly. “Just resting my eyes for a second.”

“Whatever you say, dude”, Mike grins and turns around. “Bathroom’s free.”

Mike is already in bed when Harvey crosses the bedroom for the bathroom door and Harvey can’t help but cast a glance at him when he passes by the bed. Mike is lying on his side, propped up on one elbow, staring out of the window at the glittering city.

“Your view is very beautiful,” Mike muses and Harvey longs to just crawl onto the bed and ruffle Mike’s hair.

“I know,” he replies instead and shoves his hands into the pockets of his trousers. He can’t take his eyes off of Mike, of the lines of his neck and shoulder and of the point where the white sheets begin to cover his skin.

“You love this very much, don’t you?” Mike asks and continues to stare out of the window. “This place? This view?”

“Yeah,” Harvey confirms roughly. He tries to swallow but there seems to be something stuck in his throat. “I do.”

Mike nods and, without turning his head, whispers: “Hurry.”

Harvey takes off his jacket, his vest, tie and trousers and hangs the clothes over the valet stand in the corner before he enters the bathroom, undresses completely and steps into the shower. While the warm water washes over his skin his thoughts fly back to Mike. Mike, he thinks, his eyes flutter closed and he takes a deep breath. He can see his fingers running down Mike’s shoulder and arm, brushing over the smooth skin and the soft hairs and finally, finally pushing the sheets down, uncovering more of Mike’s pale skin. He can feel his palm run over Mike’s hip and thigh and when the image goes on, when his fingertips touch coarse hair and his palm brushes over soft, wrinkled skin covering a growing hardness, his own cock begins to stir and he bites his lips.

He wants Mike and the explanation for that is very simple. Mike is a very beautiful, charming young man, lying in his bed just next door, only a few feet away, supposedly naked under the covers. Why he wants to protect Mike with everything he has, why he longs to provide for him with every fiber of his being is not that easily explained.

Harvey wants to dress Mike in the finest clothes and to show him all of his treasures. His signed first edition of ‘The Old Man and the Sea’, his father’s master tapes and the pictures of Marcus and the kids. The image of a house in the Hamptons flashes before his eyes and of Mike laughing brightly on the patio. Mike’s hands curled around a rope on a sailing boat on a sunny afternoon, his voice breathless against the fresh sea breeze. Harvey has to hold his own breath for a moment and rest his palm against his chest to stop his heart from hurting.

He turns off the water and quickly dries himself off. He hesitates for a brief moment, lingering at the door before he steps out, fully naked, and into the bedroom.

Mike has turned to his other side and one of those radiating smiles appears on his face again the moment Harvey steps into the bedroom.

“Now that is what I call a beautiful view,” Mike grins and Harvey stops dead in his tracks.

The covers have slid down a little, uncovering Mike’s chest and almost, just almost his navel as well. Harvey lets his eyes roam over Mike’s body, his arms, his shoulders, the hollow of his throat and down his sternum to the covered parts where images turn into ideas. He swallows as his stomach lurches when Mike reaches out for him.


Slowly, Harvey walks towards the bed and slips under the covers next to Mike. He’s not nervous, well, not really, but it’s hard to describe what he is feeling right now. It is as if something very important is going to happen very soon and there is no way around it. It is as if he knows and that knowledge increases both the weight and the lightness of the whole thing ad infinitum.

“That’s my side,” Harvey mumbles and his fingers tremble ever so slightly when they touch Mike’s soft cheek.

“What?” Mike frowns and Harvey can’t suppress a smile.

“Of the bed. That’s my side you’re lying on.” He cups Mike’s cheek and lets his thumb run over Mike’s pliant lips.

“No,” Mike shakes his head and leans into Harvey’s touch. “No, it isn’t.”

“No,” Harvey echoes and his smile fades from his mouth but not from his eyes. “It isn’t.”

When their lips touch for the first time, gently and tentatively, a shiver runs through Harvey’s body and he knows that nothing will ever be the same again after this.

“I want you to make love to me,” Mike whispers against Harvey’s lips. “I want that so much.”

Harvey closes his eyes for a moment before he breaks the kiss and withdraws a bit. He looks into Mike’s eyes but the intensity of Mike’s gaze soon becomes too much to bear and he averts his gaze. “I don’t make love,” he murmurs and he can feel how his cheeks blush in the semi-darkness of his bedroom. “I fuck.”

“Oh,” Mike says after a brief moment of silence. “Bummer.” A gentle finger runs over Harvey’s lips and then Mike speaks again. “I bet you’d be great at it. I—”

Harvey stifles Mike’s words by pulling him in for a real kiss and what a kiss that is! It starts slow and gentle but it turns deeper and more desperate as the seconds pass and soon they’re devouring each others’ mouths with a hunger that threatens to consume everything Harvey feels sure about. Everything but this, because this only grows and pushes everything else into the void.

“Fuck me then,” Mike moans into Harvey’s mouth and thrusts his hips against Harvey’s. Harvey can feel how hard Mike already is and his own dick twitches against Mike’s skin, dripping with pre-come. “I want you to.”

Harvey pulls Mike flush against him and savors the sensation of Mike’s warm body against his own. Mike radiates heat and that heat encloses Harvey like a blanket, like water. His fingers dig into Mike’s back and he can feel Mike harden even further against him.

“Yes,” he whispers and parts Mike’s ass cheeks with trembling fingers. “Oh god, yes.” He runs his index finger along Mike’s crack and when he brushes over his hole, both men shiver and moan. “Will you let me?”

“Yeah,” Mike smiles against Harvey’s lips. “I will. Come on, prepare me.” He turns around and Harvey retrieves a glass jar from his bedside table. Carefully opening it, he lets his eyes wander down Mike’s spine and over the globes of his ass. Mike’s skin seems to be glowing with a faint shine and Harvey wants to touch him everywhere. Inside and out.

“Turn around,” he whispers and sits up to dip his fingers into the clear gel inside of the jar. “I want to see you.”

When Mike rolls onto his back and opens his legs, Harvey climbs between them and once he’s settled there, Mike bends his knees and nods. “Please…”

Mike’s cock is straining against his lower belly and when it twitches under Harvey’s gaze, Harvey can feel how a drop of pre-come oozes from his own aching dick. He wants like he’s never wanted before and the sight of Mike sprawled out for him like that takes his breath away.

Harvey lowers his hand and brings it between Mike’s legs. He runs his fingers over Mike’s entrance a couple of times, spreading the lube over it. He takes his time preparing Mike and with every moan and gasp that falls from Mike’s lips, with every time Mike’s fingers fist into the sheets or his hips jerk or thrust up, with every time Mike arches his back to draw Harvey’s fingers deeper inside Harvey’s own arousal and need increase until he doesn’t think he can wait much longer.

“I need you now,” Mike moans at the exact moment Harvey thinks he’s going to burst with want. “Please—“

Harvey looks at Mike questioningly and Mike nods once before he spreads his legs a little further and raises his hips.

Positioning himself, Harvey takes a deep breath and grabs hold of his throbbing dick. He scoots forward a little further and touches the tip of his cock to Mike’s entrance, pushing against it ever so slightly. He wants to draw this out, he wants to the first time he enters Mike to be the next thing he does forever. His ragged breathing turns into an almost constant moan when he rubs the tip of his cock over Mike’s hole over and over again and it’s echoed by Mike’s. Mike is begging him for more with whispered words, with his eyes and with his whole body but Harvey still holds back. “Not yet,” he breathes and his dick twitches in his hand. “Not yet—

“Okay,” Mike whispers and bites his lips. Harvey can feel how Mike’s muscles clench and unclench against his sensitive skin and suddenly his hips jerk forward without his doing and the next thing he knows is that he has breached Mike with just the tip of his cock. He stills and holds his breath, feeling Mike’s tightness around him, drawing him in.

Slowly, he pushes forward until he is fully sheathed. He needs to close his eyes for a moment and he has to fight to keep his body from trembling too violently. Mike’s skin is sweaty and warm against his and when he feels Mike’s hands on the small of his back and Mike’s hips flexing underneath him, his eyes snap back open and immediately find Mike’s.

“I don’t want to fuck you,” Harvey says and Mike nods, a smile deeply rooted in his eyes.

“I know.”

Harvey buries his face against the crook of Mike’s throat and takes a long, shaky breath. When he raises his head again and looks at Mike, Mike nods again.

“I want—“

Mike’s hands on the small of his back pull him even closer and Mike gently clenches around him. “It’s okay, Harvey,” he murmurs and pulls Harvey in for a slow, deep kiss. “You can. I’ve got you.”

Everything that happens from this moment on feels as if it’s happening in a dream. The closeness, the tenderness, the growing urgency with which they move and breathe together. The intimacy shared between them in looks and kisses and in the sensation of Mike’s body surrounding Harvey, encompassing everything he ever was, everything he is and everything he will ever be. The gentleness and trust with which Mike lets Harvey love him and the intense openness and overwhelming generosity with which Mike loves him back. Time seems to stand still or to pass all at once and the slow and steady movements with which Harvey thrusts into Mike again and again and again are everything they both know.

Harvey can feel their climax approaching and he desperately wants to take Mike with him over the edge. He can’t imagine falling alone and all he wants is for Mike to hold him when they come.

“I’m so close,” he mouths against the soft skin of Mike’s temple, Mike’s soft short hair caressing his lips. “I want to come.”

Mike tightens around him and brings his lips to Harvey’s ear. “Yes,” he whispers arches his back again. “Yes, please.”

You first, Harvey wants to say but his voice fails him when Mike pulls him close and moans low in his throat. Harvey means to reach between them, to close his fingers around Mike’s cock and to bring him off with his hand but all he can do is hold on to Mike and tremble and moan and when he feels Mike spurting between them he sucks in a sharp breath and squeezes his eyes shut so tightly he sees stars. He knows it’s safe to fall then, he just knows that it is, and when Mike’s moan grows louder in his ears he lets go and follows Mike over the edge, spilling himself deep into Mike’s tight, warm body.

It takes Harvey a long time to come down from this and Mike’s hands roaming up and down his back and his arms and Mike’s breath against his throat are the anchors that keep him grounded and the air that prolongs his flight eternally at the same time.
When Harvey finally slips from Mike’s body his heart clenches in his chest and if Mike weren’t right there he’d feel empty and lost. But Mike is there and Harvey is filled with a sense of completeness that might have terrified him if he weren’t so ridiculously happy.

“I’ve never felt like this before,” Harvey whispers and takes Mike’s hand in his. “Never.”

“I know.” Mike’s voice is warm in the darkness and Harvey lets it wash over him, its soft touch caressing his sensitized skin.

“How do you?” He asks after a short pause. “How do you know all that?”

“Because,” Mike answers and squeezes Harvey’s hand in his, “I feel the same.”

“Who are you?” Harvey turns onto his side to face Mike and Mike turns his head and looks Harvey in the eyes.

“You know who I am,” he answers slowly, smiling, and lets his fingers trace the line of Harvey’s cheek bone.

“Yeah, I do.” Harvey sinks back down into the mattress and pulls Mike into his arms. “It’s a bit much, though, to wrap my mind around.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Mike says and snuggles up against Harvey’s chest. “Everything will be alright.”


They spend most of the weekend in bed or curled up together on the sofa or on the deck chair and the time they don’t spend in the condo they take walks through the park and buy bagels or hot dogs and coffee at vending carts on street corners. The fall weather is beautiful all through the weekend and both Harvey and Mike have a light tan by Sunday evening.

They lay in bed together after another breathtaking round of passionate love-making and Harvey’s fingers are drawing lazy patterns on Mike’s back. Mike’s arms are crossed under his cheek and he’s facing Harvey with his eyes closed, humming contently under Harvey’s gentle caress.

Harvey’s fingers wander up and down Mike’s spine, along his sides and over the plains of his shoulder blades.

“So,” Harvey breaks the silence and Mike opens his eyes. “Do you have wings, then?” He sounds a little insecure, a little as if he were a school boy who isn’t sure if his answer is a hundred percent correct.

“Yeah,” Mike smiles and nods, his face scraping over his arms. “I do.”

“Can I see them?” Harvey asks and the look in Mike’s eyes once the question is out of his mouth, that mixture of gentleness and pain, almost breaks his heart.

“Oh no,” Mike says and the smile falls from his face. “I’m afraid not. You can’t see them down here. I’m sorry. Nobody can.”

“Oh.” The heaviness that settles in Harvey’s heart makes his eyes water but he nods. “I see.”

“I could draw them for you,” Mike offers but Harvey shakes his head.

“I don’t want a picture.” He leans forward and places a soft kiss on Mike’s right shoulder blade. “I bet they’re gorgeous.”

“So I’ve been told,” Mike says and Harvey watches how the smile slowly returns to his face.


They ease into a simple routine over the next couple of weeks. They share their evenings making love and holding each other close and their nights as well. Whenever Harvey looks at Mike and catches him unaware, his heart aches in his chest and when Mike does notice Harvey looking at him, whenever their eyes meet, a sharp pain shoots through Harvey’s body and for a brief moment he can’t breathe and he feels dizzy. Harvey goes to work and Mike accompanies him. He’s always at Harvey’s side and Harvey briefly wonders from time to time why almost nobody says anything about it, why almost nobody reacts. Maybe they think he’s just Harvey’s new assistant. In any case, almost nobody so much as even acknowledges Mike’s continuous presence.

Only the waitress in Harvey’s favorite diner addresses Mike when they come in for breakfast in the mornings. “And what will it be for you, Sir?” Mike just beams at her and shakes his head. “Nothing for me today, thank you.”

And Marcus’s kids play with Mike for hours in the yard when they go and visit Marcus and his family one Saturday morning.

And then there is the Thursday afternoon of Harvey’s quarterly meeting with his boss. He walks into the conference room, Mike following two steps behind him and Charles Forstman freezes. He honestly freezes and Harvey can’t remember ever having seen him remotely like this. Shaken to the core.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Forstman asks and before Harvey can say anything Mike walks past him and looks Forstman straight in the eyes.


“Get out,” Forstman spits. “Get the fuck out of my firm or I’ll—”

“Shut up,” Mike cuts in and Harvey pales at the harshness in Mike’s otherwise so gentle voice. “You fucked us over one time too many already, Charles, and this time—“

“I said,” Forstman interrupts Mike and the tension in the room is as strong as the one during the roughest thunderstorm Harvey has ever experienced. Stronger. “Get the fuck out. If you value his life,” Forstman nods in Harvey’s direction and Harvey can see how it’s now Mike’s turn to freeze, “if you value his soul at all you—“

“Okay,” Mike barks out. “Okay. We’ll leave. But I’m warning you—“ He points his finger at Forstman and narrows his eyes. “Enough is enough.”

When Mike turns around, grabs hold of Harvey’s arm, a grunted “Come on, we’re leaving” pressed through his teeth, and drags Harvey out of the room Harvey feels a rush of panic surging through his whole body. He lets Mike lead him into the elevator, through the lobby and out onto the street where he takes a couple of deep, shaky breaths.

“What the hell was that about?” He asks Mike when he can speak again, his hand pressed against his chest.

Mike snorts and takes a deep breath himself. “Let’s just say that you may have thought you were joking the night we met but you weren’t.”

“Do you mean—“

“You know what I mean,” Mike murmurs and places a hand on Harvey’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you home, you look as if you might need a drink.”

“You look like shit,” Mike says once he has Harvey settled on the couch and a drink in his hand.

“I feel like shit,” Harvey replies and takes a tiny sip from his glass. He chokes on the scotch and just manages to set the glass down onto the coffee table before a severe coughing fit takes hold of him, a coughing fit that doesn’t seem to end. It leaves him out of breath and his head is spinning. “I’m dizzy,” he says and Mike worries his lower lip between his teeth. “I feel sick.”

“Harvey,” Mike says questioningly and crouches down next to him on the floor. “You’re shaking and you’re so pale, don’t you think—“

“Shit,” Harvey hisses and squeezes his eyes shut. He wants to curl in on himself or to lie down on his back on the floor right there and then, he can’t decide. “That hurts.”

“What hurts?” Mike sound alarmed all of a sudden and when Harvey looks up all color has drained from Mike’s face.

Harvey just rubs his palm over his chest and squeezes his eyes shut again when a new bolt of pain shoots through him.

“Harvey,” he can Mike hear calling his name in the distance and he knows he should open his eyes and let Mike know that he is okay but he doesn’t seem to be able to muster the energy. “Harvey, look at me.”

He gathers all his remaining strength and opens his eyes. Mike is glowing somehow and Harvey doesn’t understand why.

“Harvey, I think you’re having a heart attack,” Mike says but his words don’t make any sense to Harvey. He can’t stop staring at Mike and the light that surrounds him like a wide, billowing cloak.

“I can—“ Harvey coughs and Mike picks up the phone from the kitchen isle. Harvey knows that Mike is probably dialing 911 but that doesn’t make sense to him either. Nor does it matter. Somehow nothing really matters but Mike and—

“Yeah, this is an emergency call. Yes, I’m at 80…”

Harvey stops listening when Mike gives them his address. He knows where he lives so he doesn’t have to listen, he thinks.

“He’s having a heart attack, I think, and he can’t breathe properly.”

Harvey closes his eyes for a moment. He’s so very, very tired and he really wants to go to sleep but he has to open his eyes again after just a second or two because he has to keep looking at Mike.

“Thank you, please hurry.” Mike puts the phone down and runs his fingers through his hair. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “That’s why I’m here. I thought it was Forstman, but—“

“Mike,” Harvey interrupts and tries to rise from the sofa. Mike immediately falls silent and looks up. “Shit, Harvey, I’m—“

“I can see your wings.” Harvey can feel how a smile spreads over his face and he doesn’t understand why Mike doesn’t smile in return.

“No,” Mike says and he is at his side in the blink of an eye. “No, Harvey, no, no, no. It’s too soon, it’s—You—“

“They’re so beautiful,” Harvey says and tries to turn Mike around or at least to look over his shoulder. “So much more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.” He reaches out to touch the bow of Mike’s left wing and when his fingers touch the feather-covered bone his breathing hitches and his knees buckle.

Mike catches him and tries to hold him upright. “Too soon, Harvey, no,” murmurs into Harvey’s hair and Harvey hums. He doesn’t think it’s too soon at all.

“Okay,” Mike says and Harvey can feel how Mike straightens his back. “Okay, Harvey listen to me.”

“Yeah,” Harvey tries to smile but he winces when his chest clenches again and his legs threaten to give in.

“The ambulance is going to be here in just a moment. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Everything is alright,” Harvey grits through his teeth, wishing he could still smile, but Mike shakes his head.

“No. No, believe me, it isn’t. You have so many years before you still. A whole life.”

“I don’t want it,” Harvey says and his own voice sounds distant to him, as if it were coming from somebody else, from somewhere else entirely. “Not without—“

“No,” Mike says again and Harvey still doesn’t understand. “I can’t stay,” Mike ads and Harvey smiles because he knows exactly what to do now.

“Take me with you, then.”

“No, Harvey, baby, please. It’s too soon. I’m sorry,” Mike whispers and Harvey feels how the room begins to close in on him, slowly and steadily. “I can’t. It’s too soon.”

Harvey can only shake his head now and press his lips against Mike’s throat, blindly reaching around Mike to steady himself.

“I have to go now,” Mike says and Harvey shakes his head again. “But they’ll be here soon. Everything will be okay.”

“Don’t—” is everything Harvey manages to get out and his eyes burn so terribly all of a sudden. “Don’t.”

Harvey can feel how something wraps around him, something envelops him and all he wants to do is to crawl into that warmth and stay there forever. He doesn’t feel weak anymore, he doesn’t hurt anymore and without opening his eyes he knows that Mike has wrapped his wings around him, shielding him from everything that is outside.

“I’m going to let you go now,” Mike says and Harvey nods. “I won’t let you fall, but I have to let you go now.”

Harvey nods. Okay, he thinks.

“Everything is going to be alright. I promise.” Mike’s hold on him tightens and Harvey takes one last deep breath.

I know.

Mike gently lowers him to the ground and the last thing Harvey remembers hearing before the darkness claims him are the doors to the deck sliding open.


The third candidate is the worst, Harvey is sure of that. It can’t get any worse after that. He pinches the bridge of his nose and asks Donna for a little break before the next Harvard loser he has to see and to talk to for at least thirty minutes walks into the interview room.

He sits down behind the desk and buries his face in his hands. It has taken him a long way to get here, to fight his way back into Jessica’s good grace after recovering from the heart attack and after leaving Forstman Industries. All those years of working and fighting his way up the ranks at Pearson Hardman up to this day. Senior partner.

It’s not that he isn’t proud of his accomplishments and successes, he is, but there’s always something missing, there’s always always this gap in his chest where his heart used to be. He takes a deep breath and presses the button on the intercom.

“Send the next one in,” he says and rises.


“So,” Donna addresses the young man in front of her desk. “Tell me why you think we should hire a scrawny little rookie like you?”

The young man grins and leans forward ever so slightly. “Just watch his face closely when he sees me for the first time,” he says and winks at her surreptitiously. “He will hire me.”

When Harvey opens the side door, Donna gives him a wink. She then leads the young man to the suite’s front door and opens it without knocking. “Mike Ross,” she announces and watches Harvey rise from his chair and walk towards the door. She holds the door open for Mike and lingers there for a little while to catch the moment Harvey lays eyes on him.

At first, Harvey freezes in shock and pales within a matter of seconds. But then his face is lit up, and Donna finds no other way to describe it, by the most beautiful smile she has ever seen. She closes the door behind Mike and sends all the remaining applicants home.

“Mike,” Harvey whispers and covers his mouth with his hand. “Is it really—“

A fraction of a second later he has his arms full of a beaming Mike and he smiles as Mike buries his face against the crook of his neck and inhales deeply.

“God,” Mike murmurs and the vibration of his words against Harvey’s skin sends shivers through Harvey’s whole body. “I missed you so much.”

“What took you so long,” Harvey asks and lifts Mike’s head up to lock eyes with him.

“I had—Once I had communicated my decision to take some time off I had to sort out a couple of things. But then the boss agreed and—“

Harvey silences him with a kiss and he can feel Mike relax and melt into his embrace. “I missed you, too. But I knew you’d come back to me one day. I knew.”

They kiss again and when they break apart a couple of minutes later they’re both flushed and out of breath. And hard. A low moan escapes Harvey’s lips when he feels Mike pressing against him and he looks up again.

“I love you,” he says and the smile that spreads over Mike’s face has to be the most beautiful thing Harvey has ever seen. Including the wings.

“I know,” Mike smiles and nods his head. “I know because I feel the same. I love you, Harvey.”

“And there is a whole life ahead of us.” Harvey cups Mike’s face and caresses his cheeks with his thumbs. “A whole long life.”

“Yeah,” Mike nods and pulls Harvey close again. “There is. Hey, do you still have that house?” he adds after a brief moment of silence, a moment of just looking into each others’ eyes and smiling in wonder. “I mean, did you buy it in the first place?” He presses his face into the crook of Harvey’s throat once more and takes another deep breath.

“What house?” Harvey asks and furrows his brow. Mike is still in his arms, though, and Harvey refuses to let go.

“The house in the Hamptons?” Mike explains and Harvey can feel him smiling against his throat. “The one you kept thinking about ever since we met the first time? The one with the patio and the sailing ship?”

“Yeah,” Harvey murmurs and for some reason he can’t quite put his finger on why his eyes suddenly sting. “I did. And I have.”

“I want to go there,” Mike says and tightens his hold on Harvey. “ As soon as possible. I want to go there with you and I want you to teach me that sailing thing and I want to eat fish and lobster with you on the patio and then I want you to make love to me again. And I want a dog.”

“All of that at once?” Harvey smiles and runs his hand through Mike’s hair. “So many wishes…”

“Okay,” Mike says and withdraws a little so that he can lock eyes with Harvey. “I’ll settle for going there and you making love to me then.”

“And then everything else,” Harvey says and gives Mike a soft, loving kiss on the lips.

“And then everything else,” Mike confirms and kisses Harvey right back.