Vic carefully turns her head away from the sleeping boy snuggled against her chest to look at the door. Ethan is just sticking his head in, looking at her, eyebrows raised in a silent question.
'He's still asleep,' Vic mouths.
Ethan nods, gives her a smile and then disappears behind the closed door again.
The past few weeks have been really hard on all of them, but especially so on Thomas. He was the only one of them who, on top of the deadline for their album, also had to deal with final exams. The constant travelling, the recording and the studying didn't leave Thomas any free time at all. The stress made him so restless that he couldn't sleep at night. Yesterday night he came back late from his last exam, and, unlike Vic, Ethan and Damiano had expected him to, didn't go straight to bed. Instead he sat down with his guitar and tried to work more, saying that he wanted to make up for the time he was missing. It was Damiano who in the end just put Thomas' guitar aside, picked him up against his protests and carried him to bed. Apparently, that didn't help make Thomas fall asleep, though, because this morning he was snapping at everyone to a point that Ethan had decided that they all needed a break. Vic had pulled Thomas along with her into her room, stripped off both their jeans and ordered him to bed next to her so that he could sleep.
And miraculously he was asleep mere minutes later, a skinny arm wrapped around Vic's middle, the blanket tucked around them both. Vic doesn't know what exactly it is that made him fall asleep so quickly but she is glad he did. She hasn't moved away from him in the two hours he has been sleeping, scrolling on her phone to keep herself busy without disturbing his sleep. When ten minutes ago he rolled over to lie on top of her, she could only wrap her arms around him and try to keep as still as possible.
Vic turns her head back to look at Thomas. One of his eyes is cracked open, and he looks at her, still only half awake.
'Go back to sleep,' she says.
He shakes his head, making her sigh and readjust them both so that she is a little more comfortable.
'Hi,' she says.
'Hi,' Thomas mumbles back.
A stray strand of hair has fallen into his face and she reaches up to push it away, making him blush and nuzzle closer into her chest.
'Mhm.' He breathes against her chest. 'M sorry for being an asshole earlier.'
'It's fine, you were clearly exhausted.'
'Not an excuse to be an asshole.'
Oh god, he is so fucking perfect, Vic thinks. She realized that her feelings for him are not strictly platonic a while ago. She hasn't said anything, doesn't want to push him into anything he doesn't want. Still, right now, with sleepy Thomas snuggled against her, she can't help herself and leans down to press her lips against his forehead. He looks up at her with big puppy eyes. There's a beat, a second in which he just stares at her lips. And then, quickly, as if he is scared he'd stop himself if he did this slowly, he pushes himself up and kisses her. His lips are soft, and he kisses all hesitantly, and she wants to have him impossibly closer.
When he pulls away, eyes still closed, Vic sees as she opens her own, his lips are slightly parted as he inhales deeply. Her hand moves to rest on the back of his neck, holding him down just enough that he can't pull away any further.
'Maso,' she says.
'I -,' he starts. His eyes blink open. 'Oh god, Vic. Is - is this okay?'
'More than okay,' she says.
Slowly, Thomas' hand reaches up, too, and a thumb strokes over her cheekbone. When they eyes meet, for just a second because he looks away right after again, she can feel her heart skip a beat. He smiles shyly, a little insecurely. And fuck, does Vic want to make all that insecurity go away.
'Shit, I never thought you would -' Thomas stops himself, again strokes her cheek. 'Can I kiss you again?'
Instead of answering Vic pulls him in for another kiss.
The day after, when Thomas steps down the stairs and into the kitchen, Damiano, Ethan and Vic are already sitting at the breakfast table. None of them say anything as he takes his seat next to Vic. Ethan silently hands him a cup of coffee. Thomas takes it with a smile and then makes himself a bowl of cereal, the silence making him uncomfortable as fuck.
'I won't bite,' he says while he is pouring the milk.
Damiano looks at him, a bit skeptical, an eyebrow raised. Thomas sighs.
'Look, I'm sorry. I know I was an asshole yesterday and I know that I am fucking annoying when I'm tired.'
Damiano elbows him in the side.
'You're always annoying,' he says.
'Just even more so when you're tired,' Ethan adds.
Thomas' cheeks heat up.
'Sorry. I really am sorry, I'll try to -'
Damiano's hand in his hair, ruffling the still unkempt mop of blond, makes him stop.
'We're just teasing, Thommy,' Damiano sags. 'Even though you are kind of an asshole when you're tired.'
'Well, the good news is that it's gonna get better now,' Ethan says. 'Because he isn't gonna have to worry about school anymore.'
'Just wait until we're on tour,' Damiano says, but it is still more teasing than anything else.
Vic, who is sitting right next to Thomas, shuffles closer. They've talked, yesterday. About what they're feeling for each other and if they want to let their bandmates know, and they decided that trying to hide whatever is going on between them would not only not work, but also fuck over their entire communication as a band. Still, somehow he is surprised when she leans over and kisses him right in front of them. His stomach does a backflip, because Jesus, he still can't quite believe it, as he kisses her back, gently, very much aware that Damiano and Ethan are watching.
When they pull apart, Damiano is grinning widely at Thomas.
'So,' Ethan says, 'Care to explain?'
'Fuck,' Thomas mumbles. 'God, Vic, you're gorgeous.'
It's not like they have never seen each other naked before. They've changed around each other thousands of times, and, even though she has noticed that Thomas has been becoming more and more pretty, the context was never the same as it is now. Usually, Thomas' body is just that. A body. Thomas. Right now, however, when he is looking down at her with lost and hopeful eyes, a large hand splayed on her hip, lips bitten and red, she can't help the ball of want burning low in her belly.
'I want you,' she says softly.
She knows that Thomas has never been with anyone else before, but she doesn't mind. Doesn't mind as his hands run over her chest and her stomach and dip in between her thighs. She guides him to the exact spot she wants him to touch, shows him exactly how to run his long clever fingers in between her folds to make her so wet. They fumble with the condom a bit because it doesn't want to comply at first, but then he is finally inside her, entirely still. She rests a hand on his cheek. There's a slight blush on his cheeks and sweat on his forehead.
'Move?,' she asks.
He nods, takes a breath and then moves, slowly, carefully, oh so fucking carefully. Her hands run over his neck, scratch down his back, making him make the most beautiful noises ever, a soft moan, a keen high in his throat, and then they settle on his naked arse, pulling him in again.
'Fuck,' he says. 'Fuck, Vic. Please.'
'Come on,' she says, 'make love to me.'
And fuck, how that makes him moan. It's a bit clumsy at first, but with the help of her hands on his ass they settle into a rhythm and then his head dips down and he kisses all over her neck, sucking a love bite into the soft spot right where neck meets shoulder, and fuck, it feels so fucking good. She knows her grip on his arse is hard enough to make the milky skin bruise, but he doesn't seem to mind, seems to be encouraged the harder she pulls.
Thomas comes first, buried deep inside her, the most blissful expression on his face, eyes half lidded and mouth parted. Vic runs a hand through his sweaty hair and he smiles down at her, a little embarrassed.
'I'm sorry,' he says, 'fuck, I didn't mean to -'
She shushes him.
His hand dips back between her thighs and he finds her clit and rubs. Her hips cant up and she moans as he picks up speed.
'Maso,' she gets out breathlessly. 'Fuck, just like that.'
Her whole body goes rigid as she comes and he pulls his hand back up and sucks the glistening fluid from his fingers, looking so out of it, so overwhelmed.
'Oh god,' she says, 'have I told you that you're perfect?'
He pulls the fingers from his lips and chuckles low in his chest.
'Usually you just tend to call me annoying.'
She chuckles, too. Then, before he can collapse on top of her she pulls him up for a kiss. He kisses back just as softly as he always does and he doesn't fight her tongue pushing into his mouth, lets her do as she pleases. She's gentle with him, and her heart jumps in her chest when she feels his fingers sliding into hers, when she feels the weak moan in his chest.
'If you keep doing this,' he whispers against her lips when he has pulled back up for air, 'I'm gonna get hard again.'
She rolls her hips and clenches her cunt around him. He lets out a weak moan.
'Oh god, you're gonna be the death of me.'
Thomas looks at Ethan, how he - is he still correct? - is sitting on the chair with his legs crossed, long hair tied up in a bun on top of his head and a giant tea cup in between his hands. It isn't that much of a surprise, to be honest. Ethan has always just been Ethan.
'Okay,' Thomas says, smiling awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.
He wants Ethan to know that he is supportive but he doesn't know what exactly would be the most helpful thing to say. Luckily Vic is there, right by his side, and of course she knows what to say.
'Thank you for trusting us with this,' she says when she has finished chewing her bite of croissant she chose for breakfast this morning
Damiano nods in agreement.
'Are you keeping your name?,' he asks.
'And your pronouns?,' Vic adds.
Right, Thomas thinks. Name and pronouns.
'All pronouns are fine,' Ethan says, 'for now. And I'm keeping my name, too. But I'll let you know if any of that changes.'
Thomas nods. He looks at Ethan again, at the perfectly clean shaven torso, the fucking perfect abs, the gentle smile on his lips as he takes a sip of tea. There is not even a hint of nervosity about his features. It's quite fitting for him to be so calm, so fucking serene about this, coming out at the breakfast table, saying it as if he was talking about the weather. Thomas knows, if he was in Ethan's place, he wouldn't be able to get a word out.
'Alright,' Vic says, 'while we're at it, I'm bisexual.'
This isn't news to Thomas. She told her years ago, when they were fourteen and playing on his playstation in his parents' living room, told him again when they got together to make sure that he hadn't forgotten.
'Oh, that. Me, too,' Ethan says.
'Anyone else has got something they want to say?,' Thomas jokes.
He turns to Damiano who's bottom lip is pulled in between his teeth. Oh Jesus Christ. He didn't mean to put him on the spot like this.
'Me, too, I guess?,' Damiano says. 'I don't know, I like women more. But there have been a few guys.'
Oh god. He hasn't told her yet, but he has been doubting his heterosexuality quite a bit. Especially since Ethan, the fucker, started to get all fit. He doesn't really know what to do with that information though, so he has kept his mouth shut and to be honest, he had planned on doing that for a bit longer.
'You don't have to say anything,' Ethan says. 'It's okay if you don't know yet.'
Thomas nods shyly. The conversation moves on as they finish their breakfast and his heart rate has just about calmed down again when Vic pulls him to the side.
'I love you no matter what, okay?,' she mumbles, quietly enough that Ethan and Damiano can't hear.
So she did notice his awkwardness.
'Love you, too,' he mumbles back automatically.
'No, Maso, you aren't listening. I said I love you no matter what.'
He nods again. She checks his face for an indication of what he is thinking. Whatever it is she finds, it seems satisfying enough because a second later she pulls him in for a kiss.
'Get a room,' Damiano says.
Thomas grins at him.
'Just admit that you like watching us.'
'Oh,' Thomas says when he feels Vic's hands run down the cleft of his ass.
So they're doing this now. They have talked about this. Vic has brought it up, and Jesus, Thomas hasn't been able to stop thinking about it.
'Only if you feel up for it,' Vic says against his chest.
'Sure,' he replies.
Vic looks up at him, checks his expression before gently pulling at his hip.
'Come on, turn around.'
It's slightly odd at first. Her fingers, thoroughly covered in lube, stroke around his asshole and then one pushes inside and Thomas doesn't really know if he likes it or not. But he relaxes just like she tells her to, and she wraps his free hand around his dick and gives him a couple pumps and he loses himself in the touches. And then, when she has three fingers inside of him, she presses right up against his prostate and fuck, the pleasure is too fucking much to take.
'Vic,' he begs. 'Vic, please.'
'Shh, I've got you,' she mumbles. 'Relax for me, baby.'
His hips go into motion and he starts pushing against her fingers.
He moans and whines needily as she keeps fucking him with her fingers, the sheets clutched between his own long fingers, and then her free hand goes into his hair and pulls him in for a kiss, hungry and hard and deep, like they usually kiss now during sex. It had taken a while for Vic to get him out of his shell, to get him to take control and properly lean into it. He knows what he will look like after, too. Vic took a picture of him once when he was ruined like this, and then showed him, so he knows the expression he will have in his eyes, all glassy and begging for more, knows that his lips will be red and swollen and shiny with spit.
(He also knows that this will make Vic kiss him again, even harder than now because she likes it when he looks like this.)
'So,' Damiano says as he enters the room, 'I heard you want to kiss us.'
Vic can see Thomas' blush from where she is sitting across the room. Obviously, Damiano would make this a thing. She had been glad that Thomas finally, finally opened up to her about his feelings for their other bandmates. She wants this for him, wants him to be as happy as possible. And, and this was important, too, she also wants them. She wouldn't have done anything if Thomas hadn't said anything, because she loves him and she doesn't want him to feel inadequate because he isn't inadequate. It just turned out that both of them would like to experiment.
'If you're going to be a drama queen about it, I'll only kiss Ethan,' Thomas says.
Ethan, who is standing right behind Damiano, hair in two french braids down his chest, looks quite happy with that suggestion. Damiano doesn't.
'No fair,' he grumbles.
'Absolutely fair,' Thomas says. 'Ethan, come here?'
Ethan does walk over to Thomas. The confidence on Thomas' face disappears as soon as Ethan is in his personal space, but Ethan takes Thomas' hands in his and then whispers something into Thomas' ear and then they're kissing. Vic realizes then and there that she has never seen Thomas kiss anyone before. She never got to see his neck crane as be leans down (Ethan is only a few centimetres shorter than him and it occurs to her that because of the big height difference it must look a lot weirder when it's her Thomas I kissing) face flush in the same way she does now, never got to see how his hand rests on the cheek of the person he is kissing, all careful. The kiss is short and sweet and when they break apart, Thomas looks a lot less nervous than before.
'You never told me that he is a good kisser,' Ethan complains jokingly to Vic, 'I've clearly been missing out.'
'Now I wanna know how you kiss,' Damiano says. 'Please, Thommy?'
Thomas snorts. He pecks Ethan's lips, strokes Ethan's cheek again and then pulls back and walks over to Damiano.
'Kiss me, then,' he says. 'Fucker.'