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Red Matter

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“Leonard!” knock knock. “Leonard!” knock knock. “Leonard!” knock knock.

“What, Sheldon?” Leonard sighs, exasperated, pulling his bedroom door open and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“I am having a great dilemma, and by the rules of friendship I’ve come to understand that you are required to help me,” Sheldon says logically.

“What is it?” Leonard turns from the open door to crawl back into bed.

“Who will you be dressing as for our opening tomorrow? It would be silly for us to show up as the same person, and I’d much rather plan ahead than have to change at the last minute.”

“I was thinking of going as Leonard, Sheldon,” Leonard pulls his glasses off and collapses against his pillows.

“But Leonard—“

“I don’t know Sheldon, a Klingon?” Sheldon chuckles behind him. Leonard sighs and opens an eye.

“Leonard, the Klingons are not even in this movie, and so you would just look silly.”

“Yeah, that’s the reason.”

“I was thinking that I would dress as Spock. Which reminds me I’m going to need some more latex paste I’m afraid I’ve run out, so make sure you wake up in time to take me to the store. Goodnight Leonard.”



“Sheldon…what are you doing?” Leonard sighs.

“I’m going to add these to my Star Trek collectables,” Sheldon says delightedly, arms full of cheap popcorn containers.

“You couldn’t just buy empty containers?” Leonard asks.

“The sales girl was most unhelpful, it doesn’t have butter , I hope you like popcorn Leonard.”




“So how’d you like the movie?” Leonard asks, jaw just a little clenched.

“Well,” Sheldon sighs, “other than the glaring inconsistencies with the original series, I found it a most enjoyable film. Although I really could have done without the short one behind me and its insistent kicking of my chair.”

“It was a child Sheldon.”

“It’s little pesky legs were long enough to reach my chair Leonard.”

“You could have politely asked for him to stop, you didn’t have to make him cry.”

“I merely explained what would happen if he really got pulled into a black hole. If he didn’t enjoy the very real dangers of space, he had no business being at a Star Trek movie.”

“He was about seven Sheldon.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, when I was seven I—“

“Yes Sheldon, when you were seven you yourself were inventing black holes.”

“That is not what I was going to say Leonard.” Sheldon says, irritated.

“Still doesn’t mean you also weren’t wetting the bed.” Leonard sighs to his retreating back.