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GCiEW: General Chatroom in Eastern Wonderland

Chapter Text

LilMissSumi created room "Gensokyo General"

LilMissSumi added GappySage and Kourindou to the room




GappySage: Thank you, dear. now then...

Kourindou: So, just to clarify, we're really going through with miss Usami's plan?

GappySage: Well, considering you went along with smuggling the required technology into Gensokyo in the first place...

Kourindou: Touche.

GappySage: Sumireko, if you'll do the honours..?

LilMissSumi: ON IT!!


LilMissSumi added HakureiMiko, LoveColoured, TimeMaid and 3 others to the room


GappySage: Greetings, incident solvers. 

HakureiMiko: Hello, Yukari. 

LoveColoured: sup y'all

TimeMaid: Greetings.

Bnuuy: Ah, hello!


GappySage: You have all been gathered here today to assist us in introducing this chatroom to the rest of Gensokyo.

GappySage: Myself, Sumireko and Rinnosuke have worked tirelessly to create this opportunity. Please do not wavlfjkhebkuyqegbllk,4ut

GappySage: jb rehkgvkerfwuvjv b,fayef,yhjkbrekhgul. jwkrbwafvbbu

Bnuuy: Yukari?!

HakureiMiko: Oh no.

Lovecoloured: probably dropped her phone thingy in a gap

Kourindou: I wouldn't put that past her, Marisa.

GappySage: Apologies. Chen tackled me.

SamuraiGarden: Hello everyone. Apologies of being late. Hakugyokuro doesn't get much of this "internet"

TimeMaid: Not to worry, Youmu. 

GappySage: As I was saying, please do not waste this opportunity. That means you, Miss Kirisame.

Lovecoloured: hey! what'd I do?!

ItsAConspiracy: Everything.

LilMissSumi: I'll be overseeing the rollout! Let's give Gensokyo something they won't forget!!


Everyone is Offline

Chapter Text

LoveColoured added DieForMe and 2 others to the room


DieForMe: Ah, hello everyone. Marisa told me about what Yukari and Sumireko had created.

Patchouli: I personally see no need for this.

LoveColoured: wait lemme add one more person 


LoveColoured added LibraryDevil to the room 


Patchouli: I now see one need for this. Hello Koakuma.

LibraryDevil: Hi lady patchouli!

HakureiMiko: Wait. Marisa, who else did you add?

LoveColoured: uhhhh….

LoveColoured: I’m not legally obligated to answer that, Reimu

HakureiMiko: Marisa.

TimeMaid: Greetings, Lady Patchouli. Would you like me to bring you some tea?

Patchouli: Please. 
TimeMaid: It shall be done.


TimeMaid is offline


Vengeful: Oh my… it seems I’ve missed quite a lot

HakureiMiko: You. State your name.

Vengeful; As if you don’t already know it, Shrine Maiden.

Vengeful: After all, you’re the one who sealed me

HakureiMiko: …

LoveColoured: ahahah… hey Lady Mima…


HakureiMiko is offline


LoveColoured: oh no

LoveColoured: Alice I’ve always loved you

DieForMe: WHAT?! 


LoveColoured: because I’m boutta fuckin’ die

LoveColoured: oh shit here comes the boss music gotta blast k bye


LoveColoured is offline


Vengeful: I suppose I should introduce myself to you, miss…?

DieForMe: Alice Margatroid.

Vengeful: Ah, Shinki’s daughter. I am Mima.

DieForMe: hang on a bloody minute. You know my mother?

Vengeful: Why of course. I fought her during the Makai Invasion. I believe we also ran into you back then, no?

DieForMe: Now that I think about it… we’re you that green haired woman with the crescent staff?

Vengeful: Yes. Though I was sealed a little before the Scarlet Mist set in.

DieForMe: First of all, my mother still wants your head for the damage you caused in Pandaemonium. 

DieForMe: Second, it’s nice to see you again after so long.

Vengeful: Likewise.


HakureiMiko is online

LoveColoured is online


HakureiMiko: Did you learn your lesson, Marisa?

LoveColoured: yes…

HakureiMiko: Good. Now, Mima.

Vengeful: Hakurei Reimu.

HakureiMiko: If I catch you causing any trouble here, I will take it as grounds to permanently exterminate you. Otherwise, you are free to talk as you please. Do we have a deal?

Vengeful: How oddly merciful for you. I accept.

Everyone is offline

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Bnuuy created the room “The Rabbit Hole”

Bnuuy added BlueRavi, OrangeRavi and two others to the room


Bnuuy: Welcome, everyone! I thought it would be nice for us rabbits to have a place to chat that isn’t telepathic.

BlueRavi: Heya Reisen! 
OrangeRavi. Yo.

SmolBnuuy: U-uhm, greetings!

Bnuuy: Come now, Rei’sen, there’s no need to be so formal here. 
SmolBnuuy: I-I know, it’s just using the new technology

SmolBnuuy: it takes a little getting used to changing from the telepathic link, right?

OrangeRavi: Feel ya there, kiddo. Still, it’s nice at just chat w’th the other rabbits ‘ere.

WhiteHare: >:3 Hewwo 

OrangeRavi: I take back m’previous statement.

Bnuuy: Tewi, please… give us some mercy…

WhiteHare: Mewcy is fow da weak, Weisen UwU

BlueRavi: I… don’t like the implications of that

SmolBnuuy: S-should I be scared..?

WhiteHare: Yes. 

WhiteHare is offline


Bnuuy: And there she goes to set up more pitfall traps… Master really needs to be harsher on her.

OrangeRavi: I was under th’ impression that Lady Eirin had a contract o’ sorts w’that one

Bnuuy: Well, she is, but…

Bnuuy: That doesn’t make the pitfalls any less painful. Especially when she roles Medicine into it…

BlueRavi: Ouch. I feel sorry for you there, Rei.

SmolBnuuy: u-uhm… aren’t you more powerful than her, Reisen?

Bnuuy: Now that you mention it, I am!

Bnuuy: You know what, I’m done being Tewi’s victim!

BlueRavi: Yeah!

Bnuuy: I’m gonna go teach her a lesson she won’t soon forget!

OrangeRavi: Go get ‘er, girl.

Bnuuy: I am  Reisen Udondein Inaba, a veteran of the Lunar War! She’s just an earth rabbit!

SmolBnuuy: W-wait! What if she’s

Bnuuy: I’m gonna go and find her nowkneelsjebelksbsgsksnewksnbewp


Bnuuy is offline


WhiteHare is online


WhiteHare: Just killed a moon rabbit, feeling good.


WhiteHare is offline


SmolBnuuy: already set up a trap…

OrangeRavi: Damn. Press F to pay your respects t’ Reisen, girls.

BlueRavi: F

SmolBnuuy: F

OrangeRavi: F

LilMissSumi: F


Everyone is offline 

Chapter Text

LilMissSumi added NohMercy to the room


NohMercy: Hello.

LilMissSumi: Heya Kokoro! Wanna sing that song I taught you earlier? 

NohMercy: I would like an audience to showcase my new mask.

HakureiMiko: Hello Kokoro. 
ItsAConspiracy: HELLO!!!

Kourindou: A performance? I’d love to watch.

NohMercy: Alright. I shall send a “video” of the performance.


NohMercy sent a file “”


NohMercy: I like this mask. I wear it for hours at a time.

HakureiMiko: It’s certainly… unique

Vengeful: You mean unsettling. The blank smile is just… off putting.

NohMercy: My apologies.

LoveColoured: looks great kokoro! Love the energy


ItsAConspiracy: Kokoro, Sumi gave you that mask, right?

NohMercy: Correct.

ItsAConspiracy: I’m gonna fucking kill her



LilMissSumi: But

LilMissSumi: That’s what the point of the mask is~


ItsAConspiracy is offline


LilMissSumi: oh frick 


Chapter Text

LoveColoured: Oi Reimu 

HakureiMiko: Hm? What do you want Marisa?

LoveColoured: so ya know how Lady Mima’s here n all?

HakureiMiko: Yes…?

LoveColoured: well I was thinkin and


LoveColoured added DreamySunflower to the room


LoveColoured: maybe it’d be nice ta get some old friends back together

DreamySunflower: Oh my, I hadn’t expected this.

HakureiMiko: Welcome, Yuuka. Please don’t cause any trouble

DreamySunflower: Of course not, Reimu. So long as my flowers do not get trampled, I am just as graceful

Vengeful: I find that hard to believe…

DreamySunflower: And you are..?

Vengeful: Come now, Kazami, is that any way to greet an old friend?

DreamySunflower: I do not believe we hav ever met. Please state your true name.

Vengeful: It’s Mima. Bitch.


DreamySunflower: Ah! Forgive me, Mima. I hadn’t recognised you after so long.

Vengeful: what has it been, 22,23 years since we last talked?

LoveColoured: how the hell did you keep track of that lady mima

Vengeful: I didn't. Hakurei caught me up to speed.

DreamySunflower: Ah, that's right. You were sealed away after the Makai invasion, before the spell card rules were introduced.

Vengeful: I was. And I daresay that time alone has made me the strongest being in Gensokyo!


THESTRONGEST entered the room


THESTRONGEST: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.










DreamySunflower: Oh my.





GappySage: Before any of you say anything, I didn’t add her.

LilMissSumi: Neither did I. How the hell did she get a phone AND figure out the concept of a copypasta?!

HakureiMiko: Fairies work in strange ways…

Chapter Text

THESTRONGEST created the room “TEAM 9”

THESTRONGEST added LunateElf, Darkness and 7 others to the room




LunaChild: Perfect. I’m sure the shrine maiden is totally shaken!

Lunatictime: HELL YEAH! 

StarPlatinum: Nyehehehehe… 

BuggedOut: Umm, Cirno?


BuggedOut: Who’s that seventh person?


SecretGod is online


SecretGod: Why by dear firefly, who do you think gave Cirno access?

LunateElf: Oh! Aren’t you the person who gave Cirno that power during the Four Seasons Incident?

SecretGod: Indeed I am. You all may call me Matara.

Lamprey: So YOU’RE the one who caused that snow in the forest. I had to close my stand for a whole 3 months cause of you!

Lamprey: Do you know how hard it was to buy lamprey from the human villagers?!

SecretGod: I apologise for that. Now then, I have a task for all of you.


SecretGod: …

SecretGod is offline



LunateElf: Cirno…


LunateElf: I think you just angered a Sage…

LunaChild: Wait, Magara is a sage?

SunnyMilk: Pshaw, as if. If Cirno could beat her, I doubt we have anything to worry about

StarPlatinum: Umm… 

Lamprey: I think she beat her when she had that weird door on her back


LunateElf: and who gave you the door?


BuggedOut: I… believe I see the issue here.

BuggedOut: Imma go hang out with Yuuka-Sensei before things get hairy

StarPlatinum: Uhhh, Me, Sunny, Luna and Piece have a prank to plan

Lunatictime: Y YEAH! See ya guys!


BuggedOut is offline
LunaChild and 3 others are offline


Lamprey: I’ve got to open up shop soon. See you all tomorrow!


Lamprey is offline


LunateElf: … I’m not helping you out of this one, Cirno.





Darkness: Is that so~?
LunateElf: This can only end badly

LunateElf. Y’know, sometimes it’s hard being her best friend…

Darkness: Reaaaally?~
Darkness: By the way, can I eat that Matara person?

LunateElf: Hakurei god grant me patience…

Chapter Text

Gensokyo General


TimeMaid added ScarletDevil, Guarden and 1 other to the room


ScarletDev. Thank you Sakuya.

TimeMaid: As always, Mistress.

HakureiMiko: Welcome, Remilia. I have a question for you.

ScarletDevil: If it’s about the black smog coming from the mansion, you have my guarantee that it was not of my doing.

UNOwen: Can confirm! Big Sis and Patchy were in big sis’s room making really weird noises!

ScarletDevil: whwjwpwne yOU HEARD?!

Patchouli: To be frank Remi, I’m not surprised.

LibraryDevil: Ahahaha… yeah about that black smoke…

Guarden: I can explain! It was those fairies from your shrine.

HakureiMiko: Bullsh

HakureiMiko: Wait. Why do I smell something burning


HakureiMiko: I’ll be back. I’ve got a hell fairy to kill and a fire to extinguish.


HakureiMiko is offline


Guarden: Fire?!

Guarden: Sakuya, check the roof.

TimeMaid: Do not worry, Meiling. The flames have already been extinguished.

Guarden: Oh thank goodness…

ScarletDevil: Flan?

UNOwen: Yes sis?

ScarletDevil: Exempting the maids, you have free reign to leave the mansion and destroy any fairy you see.

UNOwen: Thanks big sis! One problem 

ScarletDevil: And that would be..?

Patchouli: It is currently midday, Remi.

ScarletDevil: Oh.





TimeMaid: And the mastermind reveals herself.


HakureiMiko is online


HakureiMiko: I have just received a very angry message from both Hecatia and Satori about the Former Hell of Blazing Fires being stolen.

HakureiMiko: Cirno. What did you do.



GappySage is online


GappySage: I’m going to have to stop you right there. You kill Okina, and I will see to it that you are punished equally.


GappySage: Oh really? 




TimeMaid: Sorry for the wait. The ice fairy has been dealt with accordingly for committing arson.

HakureiMiko: And I already killed Clownpiece for setting my floor on fire…

LoveColoured: Dont worry bout the fairies of light

DieForMe: Myself and Marisa caught them trying to set my house alight.

HakureiMiko: And what, pray tell, was Marisa doing at your house?

LoveColoured: …Magic studies.

LibraryDevil: you mean magician studies. Like exploring each other’s bodies

DieForMe: SHUT

LoveColoured: CEASE, SUCCUBUS!

LibraryDevil: Oh please I could hear the mistress and lady patchouli moan for mi

Patchouli: Apologies for my assistant’s eavesdropping. She has been gagged for the time being.

DieForMe: Thank you, Patchouli.

Patchouli: By the way, would you be so kind as to allow me to join your magician studies? Remi’s great and all but I believe I need to “connect” with my own kind

LoveColoured: NOT YOU TOO!

HakureiMiko: imagine being in a relationship. Couldn’t be me.


Everyone is offline

Chapter Text

Gensokyo General


GappySage added Lamprey to the room


GappySage: Welcome, Ms Lorelei. I assume you want to advertise?

Lamprey: Yes. I will try not to waken anyone.

GappySage: Then do as you please. I might drop by soon~

GappySage is offline


Lamprey: Now then…

SamuraiGarden: Ah! Hello Mystia

Lamprey: Oh, hey Youmu. I’m just about to set up shop outside the village, if you’d like to have a drink.

SamuraiGarden: Would I ever… Lady Yuyuko’s been getting to me again.

Vengeful: I’d definitely love a nice cup of sake… 

Lamprey: Oh? I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve ever met…

Vengeful: Ah, right. I am Mima. A pleasure to meet you.

Lamprey: Mystia Lorelei, night sparrow and lamprey eel enthusiast. 
Vengeful: Lamprey, hm? It has been quite a while since I last had some. Could you tell me where you are located?

Lamprey: Just outside the Human Village. You’ll spot a cart with blue drapings.

Vengeful: Thank you. I shall arrive shortly.


Vengeful is offline


LoveColoured: wait ain’t Lady Mima sealed under Reimu’s place?

SamuraiGarden: Who are you and what have you done to Marisa?

LoveColoured: Huh?! It’s me, ya half brained ghost

SamuraiGarden: Oh really? Then explain why you addressed her as “Lady” Mima

LoveColoured: …

LoveColoured: you’d address your teacher that way too, wouldn’t ya?

SamuraiGarden: …Touché. 
LoveColoured: yo mystia, I’ll be there in a bit. i wanna chat with Lady Mima 

Lamprey: Alright! Just, please don’t Fire off any master sparks…

LoveColoured: gotcha


LoveColoured is offline


SamuraiGarden: Well, I suppose I’ll see you shortly, Mystia.


Samurai Garden is offline

Lamprey is offline


Guarden is online


Guarden: I’ll be there too! Just… gotta fight off this giant catfish…

Guarden: mekeepejehehdnbxmsksgdve e smdsnsbs I&:$:)39kwjneke

Guarden: umm… to who it might concern, Miss Meiling has passed out outside of Geidontei. It’s Okunoda Miyoi by the way


TimeMaid is online


TimeMaid: So that’s where she goes off too… Thank you Miyoi. I shall retrieve her shortly.

Guarden: it’s no issue, miss sakuya!


Everyone is offline

Chapter Text

HakureiMiko created a new room “Hakurei Shrine Residents”


HakureiMiko added SmortDrunk, AUUUUUNN and 3 others


Vengeful: Oh? Am I considered a resident?

HakureiMiko: Well, you’re sealed at the shrine, to yes.

SmortDrunk: heyyyyyyyyyyy

HakureiMiko: Hello, Suika.

AUUUUUNN: Hello everyone!

Shinmy: Heya

LunaticTime: KYAHAHAHAHAHA! Wazzup people!

HakureiMiko: Hello everyone. This is a Chatroom for everyone residing at the shrine. It’ll be easier to alt this way from long distances.

SmortDrunk: gotcha reims. got one question tho

SmortDrunk: who the fresh fuck are @Vengeful and @AngelOfDeath

Vengeful: I am Mima, a powerful magician.

HakureiMiko: She’s a vengeful spirit sealed under the courtyard. She’s also Marisa’s teacher.

Shinmy: A vengeful spirit?! Isn’t that dangerous?

SmortDrunk: gotcha. who’s the Angel though

HakureiMiko: Someone I haven’t seen in a long time.


AngelOfDeath is online


AngelOfDeath: Hakurei Reimu. To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure?

HakureiMiko: You finally decided to show your face again, hm?

AngelOfDeath: Forgive me for being absent for so long. 

AngelOfDeath: Allow me to introduce myself to you all. My name is Sariel.

LunaticTime is offline


AUUUUUNN: Nice to meet you Ms Sariel! I’m Aunn Komano!

Shinmy: I am Sukuna Shinmyoumaru. Nice to meet you!

SmortDrunk: Ibuki Suika. pleasure t’meetcha

Vengeful: Oh, it’s you.

AngelOfDeath: Shuten-Douji and Mima in the same area. What a sight.

AngelOfDeath: Truly, you have outdone yourself, Hakurei Reimu.

HakureiMiko: Eh. Suika moved to Bhava-Agra a while ago but comes over so often that she still has a room, and Mima’s been sealed here for 20 odd years…

AngelOfDeath: I see. And what of the daughter of Sukuna-Hikona and the Komainu?

HakureiMiko: Aunn and Shinmyoumaru live here. Aunn travels between here and the Moriya shrine every now and then, while Shinmyoumaru’s here for protection.

AngelOfDeath: Ah. Well, I mustn’t bother you for too long. Please inform Misumaru that I am alive and well, and that the Ying-Yang Orbs require some maintenance.

HakureiMiko: Will do, Sariel. Say hi to mum for me.

AngelOfDeath: I shall heed your request. 

AngelOfDeath is offline


LunaticTime is online


SmortDrunk: holy shit you never told me an Angel lived here 

Vengeful: Sariel? Are you kidding me?

HakureiMiko: Well, she just… exits here, I guess? She doesn’t take up a room.

SmortDrunk: still reimers. you coulda inform med me bout that

Shinmy: She seems powerful

Vengeful: Fucking hell Reimu. 
HakureiMiko: Well her and Misumaru made the Ying-Yang Orbs so

LunaticTime: Angel Scary.


Chapter Text

Bnuuy is online


Bnuuy: Ugh… I really hate Tewi sometimes…

Bnuuy: Wait huh? Where am I?

Bnuuy: Oh, just Eientei. I wonder if master’s here

Guarden: hhghhghmhgh 

Guarden: what the heck happened…

Bnuuy: Oh! Hello, Meiling.


Bnuuy: And Cirno…

BonusPlates: Thou mustn’t forget I!


HerrDoktor is online


HerrDoktor: Quiet please, Ms Mononobe. There are other patients here.

Bnuuy: Master!

HerrDoktor: Ah, Udonge, welcome back.

HerrDocktor: You’ll be pleased to know that Tewi is currently being punished for your murder. 

Bnuuy: I’m sorry, my what?

HerrDoktor: Yes, her pitfall trap unfortunately rendered you dead for quite some time. I had to ask Ms Fujiwara to head to Hakugyokuro and negotiate with Ms Saigyouji and the Yama to retrieve your soul.

Bnuuy: That’s… I’ll have to thank Mokou when I next see her.

Guarden: oh… hello doctor

HerrDocktor: Ms Meiling. You’re lucky that Ms Okunoda and Sakuya brought you here when they did. It seems you had suffered from a severe case of alcohol poisoning.

HerrDoktor: Now, if you will, please tell me exactly what you drank.

Guarden: …the oni made me do it.

Guarden: challenged me to a drinking contest from her gourd.

Guarden: also why do I feel hollow?

HerrDoktor: I had to remove your liver and replace it.

Guarden: oh… that can’t be good.


HerrDoktor: Get out of my establishment.



THESTRONGEST is offline 


Bnuuy: Did you just…

HerrDoktor: Shoot Cirno? Yes. She’ll respawn anyway.

HerrDoktor: As for you, and Mononobe, you have broken several bones and will be here for a few months to recover.

BonusPlates: Alas, mine own hubris hath caught up with me…

BonusPlates: The Crown Prince shall be very displeased, very evil indeed.

HerrDoktor: Ms Toyosatomimi agreed to pay for your bills on the condition that I help her in the near future. 

Bnuuy: Master?

HerrDoktor: Udonge, you and Ms Meilibg are free to go.

Guarden: thank you eirin, I’ll try not to drink as much from now on

Guarden is offline


Bnuuy: I was going to ask about Tewi’s punishment.

HerrDoktor: 6 months spent with Flandre Scarlet.

Bnuuy: Heh. Luck can’t save you from karma, it seems.

Chapter Text

IHaveSpecialEyes created the room “Former Hell Central”


IHaveSpecialEyes added Yamamame, EnviousLass and 6 others to the room


IHaveSpecialEyes: Greetings, everyone. As you all may be aware, there has been a new technology floating around the surface. I have personally struck a deal with Ms Yakumo to allow its use here. 
IHaveSpecialEyes: Please, enjoy yourselves.

Yamamame: Heya y’all! How’re we all doing th’day!

EnviousLass: I’m truly envious that the surface fuckers got this before us, but having a way to contact yous is nice

YuugiStyles: Bahahahaha! If it ain’t lil Parsee! How’ve ya been, ya wee scamp?

EnviousLass: …

EnviousLass: On second thought, I’m envious that we didn’t get this sooner. Hello Yuugi.

KagomeKoosh: Oooooo what’s this? Looks fun!

IHaveSpecialEyes: Hello Koishi. Where are you?

KagomeKoosh: No idea! But there’s this funny lady with flowers nearby. I’m gonna go say hi!


Orinya: BUT WHO’S @ForgottenBlade ??!?!?


ForgottenBlade is online


ForgottenBlade: For thousands of years I lay dormant.

ForgottenBlade: Who has disturbed my eternal slumber?

YuugiStyles: I recognise that deadpan seriousness. Whattup Konngara

ForgottenBlade: Ah, Mistress Yuugi. It has been quite some time. A pleasure to make your acquaintance as always.

ForgottenBlade: For those of you who may not know me, my name is Hoshiguma Konngara. I was Mistress Yuugi’s retainer at the time when the oni ruled Youkai Mountain. A pleasure to meet you all.

ThisIsABucket: cut the dramatic bullshit.

ThisIsABucket: formal ass bitch. shoulda stayed in the grave

Yamamame: Kisume! How rude! 
ThisIsABucket: fuck you too yamame. maybe if you got outta this damp ass cave you coulda prevented that whole drama in the outside

Yamamame: I… 

Yamamame: Now I understand why no one ever talks to you. Why do you have to be so rude to people?!

IHaveSpecialEyes: “Fuck you that’s why.”

IHaveSpecialEyes: That is what you’re thinking, is it not?

ThisIsABucket: shut the fuck up you ugly ass prissy bitch go take that noose in your third eye and


IHaveSpecialEyes removed ThisIsABucket from the room


Nucleus is online


IHaveSpecialEyes: Greetings Okuu. How is the reactor doing?

Nucleus: Umm, there’s this weird black stuff all over. It feels sticky when I touch it and burns easy.

IHaveSpecialEyes: Ah. So there are still remnants of the Black Water incident?

Nucleus: Oh! You mean that time when Koishi’s little friend from the surface came over?

IHaveSpecialEyes: Yes. Please clean up the stains if you can. 
Nucleus: Will do, miss Satori!


Nucleus is offline


YuugiStyles: Brb y’all Kisume just showed up on the bar. Boutta give that bucket loli an ass whoopin


YuugiStyles is offline


Chapter Text

The Rabbit Hole


OrangeRavi: Yo guys. Here that Big Reisen’s doin well now

BlueRavi: That’s great! Hope Tewi’s getting what she deserves 

WhiteHare: Heya! Who are you people?

SmolBnuuy: Um, hello?

WhiteHare: I’m Flandre! Tewi’s stuck with me for now, so


Bnuuy is online 


Bnuuy: Hello everyone! How are you all peko

SmolBnuuy: Reisen! 

OrangeRavi: Sup hun!

BlueRavi: Hello peko
Bnuuy: …you saw that?

OrangeRavi: Saw what peko?

SmolBnuuy: I don’t know what you’re talking about peko

Bnuuy: Well, this is a pekodicament

BlueRavi: Pekora’s doing really well for herself here, huh?

Bnuuy: Yeah. Cant believe we always used to bully her for her verbal pek

SmolBnuuy: To be fair, saying peko in every sentence does get a bit incessant after a while.

OrangeRavi: Don’t change the fact that she’s ‘parrently a millionaire now. 
Bnuuy: What a timeline peko

Chapter Text

Gensokyo General


LoveColoured is online


DieForMe is online


LoveColoured: hey babe

DieForMe: Hm?

LoveColoured: where’s you put the mini-hakkero?

DieForMe: I haven’t touched the Mini-Hakkero. Where have you put Shanghai and Hourai?

LoveColoured: nowhere. you know I’d never steal those from ya

DieForMe: Bullshit. Where are my dolls you bloody sticky fingered witch?!

LoveColoured: I DONT KNOW!

HakureiMiko: If it makes you feel better Alice, Hourai is here with Sukuna.

HakureiMiko: I do, however, wish that the sounds of creaking wood are just the floorboards…

DieForMe: Oh. Then where the bloody hell’s Shanghai?

HakureiMiko: Probably the same place my gohei and Marisa’s Hakkero went.


TimeMaid is online


TimeMaid: Greetings all. It has come to my attention that milady’s Gungnir and the young mistress’s Lævateinn have went missing, along with my knives, Lady Patchouli’s stash of pornographic novels, and Koakuma.
TimeMaid: Do any of you happen to know where they went?

SamuraiGarden: I can’t find Hakurouken or Roukanken either. Lady Yuyuko refuses to answer…

HakureiMiko: @Vengeful explain.


Vengeful is online

Vengeful: Hey. Don’t you go blaming me for this. My staff’s disappeared as well you know.


Kourindou: Ladies, ladies, let’s settle down.

Kourindou: There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for these disappearances.

LoveColoured: shut the fuck up kourin

Kourindou: .

Kourindou: Alright. I’ll see myself out. It’s clear this incident is way beyond my knowledge…

Kourindou: However, I leave you with my vengeance, Marisa. 

Kourindou added Sanic to the room

Kourindou is offline 


HakureiMiko: Look what you’ve done. 
Sanic: Ayayayaya? Is this the secret Groupchat I’ve heard so much about????

LoveColoured: kourin you asshole


GappySage is online


GappySage: Oh? I wonder why all these valuable personal items have come to me~?
GappySage: Shameimaru? Be a dear and come and take some photos of these personal belongings and panties to put in the Bunbunmaru~
Sanic: Ayayaya! A scoop!

Sanic: Gotta blast!



Everyone is offline

Chapter Text

Lamprey is online


Lamprey: And we’re officially open again! 
Lamprey: We have a discount on the sake combo tonight 

DrunkOni: I heard sake 

Lamprey: Oh! Hello suika

DrunkOni: sup

Lamprey: Finally decided to ditch Geidontei, hm?

DrunkOni: nah, just wanted some’n diff’rent for once. ‘Ow much fir the special

Lamprey: 3000 yen

DrunkOni: taken. Better cook up some’n real good

Lamprey: On it!

AngelOfDeath: Ah, Shuten-Douji. A pleasure to see you, as always.

DrunkOni: whattup sariel. Mind if I bring some mates?

AngelOfDeath: I do not see why not. Please, go ahead.

DrunkOni: ayo @YuugiStyles, get over ere, n bring that retainer of yours

AngelOfDeath: Ah, the Unexplainable Phenomena.

YuugiStyles: Ayyyy what up Suika

ForgottenBlade: Greetings, Ms Ibuki.

AngelOfDeath: Konngara…? My dear, is that truly you?

ForgottenBlade: Sariel? 
AngelOfDeath: It’s been 25 years. 
ForgottenBlade: Indeed it has. How have you fared?

Lamprey: Sorry for interrupting, here’s your meal and sake!

YuugiStyles: Ey birdie, mind gettin us a bottle or two?

Lamprey: Coming right up!

AngelOfDeath: I have fared well, having taken up residence with the young Hakurei Miko.

ForgottenBlade: Ah yes, Rumiko’s child. I fear we may have been too harsh on her at first.

AngelOfDeath: Given how she has turned out, I would argue on the contrary.

AngelOfDeath: Still, it is so nice to see you once more. I shall give Rumiko your greetings.

ForgottenBlade: That reminds me, whatever happened to the Youkai of darkness?

Darkness: Helloooo~
ForgottenBlade: Ah, speak of the devil. Greetings, Rumia.

Darkness: Wait, it’s you guys?!

Darkness: Oh wow! I can finally take off the mask. How’ve you been you two?

Lamprey: Here’s the sake!

Lamprey: WAIT HUH?!

Lamprey: Rumia?!

Darkness: Oh shit- Hey Mystia

Lamprey: is… is that your true form? The one sealed by that amulet?

Darkness: Yep. Don’t tell the others though, or else~
AngelOfDeath: Ms Rumia here accidentally killed the previous Hakurei shrine maiden and helped raise the current. I am very thankful to her.

DrunkOni: wait for real?! I thought you were just some weak ass youkai

YuugiStyles: Well, her ability seems kinda outta place for a weaklin to be fair

ForgottenBlade: Indeed, which is why we had her true power sealed.

Darkness: I can really only use this form on a new moon though. Still, it’s nice to stretch out every now and again.

Lamprey: Uhh, Rumia?

Darkness, Yeah mysti?

Lamprey: Behind you…



HakureiMiko: …I came for a nice cup of sake, and find out that RUMIA not only raised me, but killed my mother?!

Darkness: It was her dying wish. I never meant for it to happen.

HakureiMiko: Sariel, you never told me.

AngelOfDeath: I did. You merely repressed the memories.

AngelOfDeath: Myself and Konngara sealed away her power after you first faced us all those years ago.

ForgottenBlade. Reimu.

HakureiMiko: Konngara.

Lamprey: Uhhh… I’m just gonna close up now… you guys can talk this out off screen.

YuugiStyles: Hey! No breaking the fourth wall!

Chapter Text

Gensokyo General


TimeMaid is online


TimeMaid: Greetings all.

TimeMaid: Reimu was supposed to have a meeting with the mistress today. I don’t suppose any of you have seen her at all?

LoveColoured: nope. haven’t seen her in a few days actually

SamuraiGarden: Sanae’s not been around either, so maybe they’re preparing for the new year?

ItsAConspiracy: Well, we are, but that doesn’t mean I have no free time. 

LoveColoured: eh, it’s all good Sanae. you seen Reimu at all?

ItsAConspiracy: Not at all, no

Bnuuy: She’s never been one to lock herself away like this… the only time I can remember something similar happening was when she went into that coma…

DieForMe: Perhaps we should go and check on her, just in case?

Bnuuy: That sounds like a plan.


GappySage added AngelOfDeath and 3 others to the room


GappySage: No need for that, ladies. I’ve brought the Hakurei shrine to you. 
GappySage: Reimu is okay. She just needs some time alone for now.

LoveColoured: okay but why

AngelOfDeath: The Hakurei Shrine Maiden has had a disturbing revelation, and needs time to process her thoughts.

LoveColoured: okay that’s somewhat understandable but who in the name of patchouli’s fat ass are you 

Patchouli: I do not know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment.

LibraryDevil: She’s not wrong though, Lady Patchouli. You do have a very fat ass.

Patchouli: Hearing that statement repeated by a succubus does not help.

Vengeful: Anyways, Marisa, this is Sariel. Sariel, my student.

AngelOfDeath: A pleasure to finally meet you, child.

LoveColoured: likewise. Anyways, what kinda revelation could lead to reimu lockin herself in the shrine

Lamprey: Uhhh… I might be able to answer that…

DieForMe: And what, pray tell, could you answer? 

Lamprey: Well, Ms Sariel and a few oni from underground came by my stand a few nights ago for a drink, and were talking about the past

Lamprey: Then Rumia showed up.

ScarletDevil: Rumia? You mean the small darkness Youkai who can barely hunt?

ScarletDevil: I fail to see what she has to do with this.

Lamprey: Well, you’ve all heard the rumours about that amulet in her hair, right?

DreamySunflower: Of course. 
Guarden: Yeah!

UNOwen: Yep! The amulet seals her true power, right????
LoveColoured: I don’t like where this is going..

Lamprey: The rumours are true. 










DrunkOni: So THAT’s why she suddenly grew to Yuugi’s height and got long hair. I thought o was seeing things!

Lamprey: Ms Sariel?

AngelOfDeath: What the Night Sparrow says is true. Rumia’s powers were sealed several years ago after a tragedy surrounding the previous Hakurei Shrine Maiden.

AngelOfDeath: Rumiko Hakurei, Reimu’s mother, was a close friend of Rumia’s. The two would duel with each other and solve incidents together, a lot like how Reimu and Marisa Kirisame do today.

AngelOfDeath: Even after Reimu’s birth, the two remained close. But then, a tragedy struck. The two got a bit too enthusiastic during a duel, and Rumia accidentally slay Rumiko. 
GappySage: I’m sorry. 
GappySage: Rumia done what?

AngelOfDeath: Caml yourself, Maribel Hearn. The situation was swiftly dealt with by myself and Ms Konngara Hoshiguma. I personally sealed Rumia’s power after she fulfilled Rumiko’s dying wish.
GappySage: And what was it?

GappySage: You’d better not be hiding anything from me, Angel.

AngelOfDeath: Her dying wish was for Rumia to raise Reimu until she was ready for her duties as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden.

AngelOfDeath: As for why you know none of this, Maribel Hearn, you were hibernating at the time.


HakureiMiko is online


HakureiMiko: …
HakureiMiko: Hello.

LoveColoured: Reimu!

Bnuuy: Reimu! Are you doing okay?

DieForMe: How are you, dear?
AUUUUUNN: Alright, Alright, everyone please! Give Reimu some space to breathe!

HakureiMiko: …Thank you, Aunn. And Sariel.

HakureiMiko: I need to find Rumia. We need to talk.


HakureiMiko is offline






Darkness: …

Lamprey: …

Darkness: You told them, didn’t you.
Lamprey: Yea. Reimu hasn’t come of her shrine for days, Rumi.

Lamprey: You need to talk to her.

Darkness: I was planning to. She’ll probably be looking for me.

Lamprey: Go and settle this like women, alright?

LunateElf: ?

Darkness: Dai. You tell no one of this conversation. Deal?

LunateElf: You say that as if anyone else in this chat outside of Wriggle and that door god are able to comprehend the context. Deal.

Darkness: Thank you.


Everyone is offline

Chapter Text

HakureiMiko —> Darkness

HakureiMiko: Hey. I want to talk.

Darkness: What a coincidence. I was about to message you. 
Darkness: Though, I suppose we both want to talk about the same thing…

HakureiMiko: I believe we do. If you wouldn’t mind explaining…

Darkness: Right. So this all started back before you were born. I used to be a very powerful Youkai, on par with even Yukari and Okina, and was notorious for being a Hakurei shrine maiden’s worst enemy. 
Darkness: Every previous Hakurei shrine maiden before your mother had tried to defeat me, yet failed. 
Darkness: That all changed when Rumiko arrived…

HakureiMiko: My mother… Sariel mentioned something about you and her being close.

Darkness: We very much were. She was much like you, having an interest in merely incapacitating Youkai rather than outright killing them, and before long she and I got into our first confrontation.

Darkness: At the time, I thought she’d be yet another Hakurei that would lose her life fighting the darkness, but then she surprised me by talking while we fought. She asked about the previous maidens, how I was, what I was like. It was all so endearing…

Darkness: She defeated me in the end, but spared my life. After that, we became close. I’d compare our relationship to what you and Marisa have today.

HakureiMiko: So, unrelenting banter, constant unannounced visits and drinking tea at 2 am?

Darkness: Yep. She was the first “Youkai shrine maiden”, having befriended the darkness and the gap youkai, and somehow got the Angel of death to support her endeavours.

Darkness: we were as close as possible without outright marriage, and before long, she had you. I remember visiting her a few months after your birth, and jokingly asking her if I could eat you. 
HakureiMiko: so that’s where it came from! I assume you got a gohei to the head for that?

Darkness: worse. I got a full ying yang orb to the face.

Darkness: A few years later, we here in the middle of our weekly friendly duel, and both of us decided to go all out, just for a change of pace. That little deal ended up being what killed Rumiko.

Darkness: We both got carried away, and in the heat of it all, a few of my bullets hit her vitals. I immediately stopped and went to check on her once I’d realised, and apologised profusely as she lay in my arms. She told me that it was okay, that it was just an accident, and that she forgave me. 
Darkness: And before she died in my arms, I made her one last promise; to protect you until your first incident. Of course, I accepted that, and then… she left.

Darkness: I was distraught, and immediately summoned Sariel to tell her what had happened. She, along with Kasen Ibara, immediately closed the Hakurei shrine and began training you. I spoke to Sariel and asked if I could be allowed to uphold the promise I made to Rumiko, and she obliged, with the condition that my power was sealed immediately afterwards.

Darkness: You were but a toddler at the time, so I assumed the role of your mother figure and raised you to the best of my abilities, up until when you were 14.

HakureiMiko: That was when Sariel and Konngara started that incident to finalise my training, wasn’t it?

Darkness: Correct.

HakureiMiko: Well then… I’d assumed my mother lost her life fighting Youkai, but never would I have dreamed of being practically raised by one.

HakureiMiko: It’s… relieving to know her death was not done out of malice. Thank you for telling me all of this, Rumia.

Darkness: It’s not a problem at all, Reirei.

HakureiMiko: It’s been a while since I heard that nickname… 

Darkness: Hehe




Gensokyo General


DieForMe: Kirisame Marisa.

Patchouli: Marisa.

LoveColoured: whatever you’re talking about I didn’t do it

DieForMe: Explain the naked Meiling in your bed then!

LoveColoured: uhhhhhhhhh

Patchouli: I can’t believe this. Not only have you broken the hearts of your fellow magicians, but you decide it’d be fun to sleep with one of their COWORKERS?!



Guarden: Uhh… is this a bad time to ask if I can join the polycule..?

Patchouli: Remi’s going to kill me.

DieForMe: Meiling. Do you have feelings for the both of us?

Guarden: Well… I have had a slight thing for Patchouli for a while… and Marisa’s always fun to be around.

DieForMe: …

DieForMe: Then yes. Would you like to join us in “punishing” Marisa?

LoveColoured: ohfuck 

Guarden: you know, that sounds like it’d be a nice way to blow off some steam!

LoveColoured: what’s the safe word what’s the safe word wHATS THE SAFEWORD AAAAAaa


Everyone is offline

Chapter Text

Gensokyo General


HakureiMiko: I’ve noticed something over the past 25 years…

HakureiMiko: Marisa, how is it that you manage to either kiss or sleep with literally every person we fight who isn’t named Unzan or Rinnosuke?

LoveColoured: I’m not legally obligated to answer that question.

DieForMe: No, please.

Patchouli: Do continue, Marisa.

Guarden: I’d like to see how this plays out.

Vengeful: Oho? Is my little Marisa getting some action?

LoveColoured: LADY MIMA NO

LoveColoured: but to answer your question Reims, it’s cause I’m so sexy and charismatic

UNOwen: So that’s why I heard weird noises coming from the garden! MeiMei, were you and Marisa playing without me????

Guarden: uhh… no… we were, uhhh

LoveColoured: I was breaking in.

LibraryDevil: yeah, breaking into Meiling’s draconic cave

LibraryDevil: Plunging in deeper with your sword, battling off the fierce monster within…

Guarden: W-What’s supposed to be the monster in that metaphor?!

LibraryDevil: Chlamydia.

LibraryDevil: anyways I know about ALL of the kinky shit you get up to. Mostly because I can feel the lustful energy of two lovers exploring each other’s bodies and-

Patchouli: Shut.

DieForMe: Ceace.

GappySage: Commit silence.

HakureiMiko: Moving on…

HakureiMiko: Raise your hand if you’ve had a romantic or intimate encounter with Marisa.

Kourindou: Reimu, literally everyone in this room, excluding myself and a few others, has been intimate with Marisa at least once.

Sariel: I, along with Konngara, Mima, Shuten-Douji and Sukuna have not been.

Shinmy: Hey Alice.

DieForMe: Hm?

Shimmy sent a link -

Shinmy: I fucked your daughter, shitlips.


Shinmy is offline


DieForMe: …

DieForMe: Mother, grant me patience…

LoveColoured: why not strength Alice?

DieForMe: If Mother had granted me strength then I’d have topped you last night and killed everyone here.



LilMissSumi muted the room for 24 hours.


Chapter Text

DieForMe —> LoveColoured


DieForMe: So I was cleaning out my house earlier, and I’ve found something I think you’d be interested in.

LoveColoured: oh? what’dya find?

DieForMe: My grimoire from years ago. 
LoveColoured: i’m on my way we’re totally reading through that together

DieForMe: One slight problem…


DieForMe sent an image:  IHateThis.jpg


LoveColoured: oh my fucking god

LoveColoured: don’t tell me

DieForMe: It seems as though the spell I thought backfired on me 23 years ago was, in fact, an enchantment on my grimoire all along…

DieForMe: I really need to figure out how to disenchant it…

LoveColoured: wait wait I just got to the door lemme in

DieForMe: The door is open, Marisa. Just, please avoid my bedroom.

LoveColoured: too late


LoveColoured sent an image:  nextbunbunmaruheadline.jpg


LoveColoured: you really gotta invest in curtains alice





Gensokyo General


Sanic sent an image:  LoliMargatroid.jpg






HakureiMiko: Hang on, I recognise that book.

HakureiMiko: And here come the two victims in 3. 2, 1


LoveColoured: holy shit Alice calm down this is all a misunderstanding

LoveColoured: okay nevermind, just got a notification form my bunbunmaru subscription you’re freakin dead Aya 

Sanic: Ayayayaya? Trying to cover up the truth, are we? How scandalous!

DieForMe: WELL, if you’d let us EXPLAIN THE SITUATION for once without interruption, you’ll see that the “truth”, as you do eloquently put it, is a lot more simple.

HakureiMiko: Hello to you too, Alice.

Vengeful: My my, it seems we’ve got ourselves a a lost Makaiese princess~
DreamySunflower: Hm? Whatever could you all be talking about now?

HakureiMiko: Alice, if you’d like to explain your situation?

DieForMe: How ironic that the three of you are the only ones here for this. To put it simply, I rediscovered my old grimoire while cleaning. 
DieForMe: As it turns out, the spell that “backfired” on me two decades ago was actually an enchantment placed on the grimoire’s lock.

LoveColoured: we were gonna read through it together but now we’re headed to Patchy to get the enchantment removed 

DreamySunflower: And what, pray tell, does this enchantment do?

DieForMe: …


DieForMe sent an image:  IHateThis.jpg


DieForMe: Do you remember the Makai Invasion incidents, Yuuka?

DreamySunflower: Ah, I see. Well, it’s quite the surprise seeing Shinki’s adopted daughter in that form again.

HakureiMiko: Tell me about it. Fighting you back then gave me nightmares for months… 

HakureiMiko: I’m so glad we developed the spell card rules after that incident. 
Vengeful: I do have a suggestion, Alice.

Vengeful: Why not go and visit Shinki in that form?

DieForMe: Are you having a laugh?! I’d sooner loan Hourai to the Hakurei Shrine indefinitely!

HakureiMiko: I have no part in Hourai’s visits.

HakureiMiko: Though, speaking of finding old relics while cleaning up, Marisa.

LoveColoured: yo

HakureiMiko: Do you remember that one incident with the Outside World woman with the crosses and strawberry addiction?

LoveColoured: Yumemi, right?

HakureiMiko: THAT was her name! Anyway, remember how you, Kotohime, Ellen, Rikako, Kana, Mima and myself all got a wish from her? 
LoveColoured: don’t tell me you’ve found what I think you have-


HakureiMiko added Ruukoto to the room

LoveColoured: Oh My God.

HakureiMiko: I took her to the kappa for some repairs.



HakureiMiko: I… think that’s what she called herself? We were young at the time, so my memory’s a bit fuzzy

LilMissSumi: HOLY SHIT! 



DieForMe —> Patchouli


DieForMe: I really cannot thank you enough Patchouli, that enchantment’s been bothering me for decades now.

Patchouli: Please, you know that Marisa and I would do anything in our power to help. Though it was very powerful. Do you have any idea who placed the enchantment?

DieForMe: I have a theory, at least.

Patchouli: Do tell. I wish to learn from them.

DieForMe: Well, you know that I am half-Makaiese, right?

Patchouli: Yes. Your magical signature gave that away when we first met.

DieForMe: Well, that should make this next part easier to swallow. 
DieForMe: I believe that my mother, Lady Shinki, placed that enchantment.


Patchouli: I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re not joking.

Patchouli: The goddess of magic placed this enchantment, hm? It seems I will have to venture to Makai sometime in the future to learn from her.

DieForMe: Myself and Marisa will accompany you. I’ve not been home in a few years, after all.

Patchouli: Right. I shall let you know when I plan to leave.

DieForMe: Thank you.


Private Message Offline

Chapter Text

Gensokyo General


HakureiMiko added Hijiri, ICanHearYou, BonusPlates and 10 others to the room


HakureiMiko: Welcome, all. Please do not start another religious war.

Hijiri: My sincerest thanks, Reimu. It is a pleasure to be here.

ICanHearYou: Thank you, Reimu. We’ll try to co-exist.

BonusPlates: Ha! Thou hast underestimated mine own affinity for initiating warfare! 
Nyuudist: Kindly refrain.

DieForMe: Welcome all. 
DieForMe: Byakuren, could I spare a moment of your time quickly?

Hijiri: Why, of course. I am always available to chat, Miss Margatroid.

TheCaptain: So uhhh, hey guys

Unidentifiable: Whattup fuckers!

Bishamon: Gah! Why are you in my room Nue?!

Unidentifiable: Fuck you that’s why!

SadoNative: Ohhohoho! I can see Nue hasn’t changed one bit since we last met

TheMouse: Shou?

Bishamon: Yes, Nazrin?

TheMouse: Please tell me Nue didn’t take the pagoda.

Bishamon: …

Unidentifiable: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TheMouse: oh for fuck’s sake.


HakureiMiko: I see now that adding both of your groups at the same time was a mistake.

NyanNyan: Oh come off it, Reimu: No one’s started a war yet. Isn’t that right, Yoshika?

Thriller: hslskssjswhdnsmslshv

Nyuudist: Well, this can only end so well…

SojaSoja: Indeed. And I have reason to believe a certain Shikaisen is on her way to your temple, Kumoi.

Nyuudist: I’ll prepare accordingly then. 
NohMercy: Ooo! 😮

ICanHearYou: Ah, Kokoro! A pleasure to see you again.

NohMercy: Hello, Miko. 👋




DieForMe created a new room


DieForMe added LoveColoured, Patchouli and Hijiri


DieForMe: Byakuren, do you still have access to the Palanquin Ship?

Hijiri: I do, though I would like to ask why.

LoveColoured: well y’see, we wanna get to Makai, n i know for a damn fact that ship of yours can take up there

Patchouli: Of course, we won’t force you into accepting.

Hijiri: Let me talk to Minamitsu. Should she agree to captain, we can set forth in approximately a week.

DieForMe: That’s an absolute life saver. Thank you, Byakuren.

Hijiri: It is always my pleasure to help.

Hijiri: Though, it has been quite a while since I was last in Makai. Would you be so kind as to allow me to accompany you?

LoveColoured: of course! always better to have a group anyway

DieForMe: True. I know some residents can be a bit… “trigger happy”, for lack of a better term

LoveColoured: oh wait! why not invite Lady Mima?

Patchouli: No.

DieForMe: No.

LoveColoured: that’s fair


Chapter Text

Palanquin Ship

LoveColoured: hey uhh byakuren. you sure we’re safe travellin through here?

Hijiri: Of course, Miss Kirisame. I’ve been through this route many times, and can confirm it is safe.

Patchouli: Right then. Care to explain the ship that’s following us then?


LoveColoured: they’re flying some sorta black flag with a heart too

DieForMe: Wait, a black flag with a heart?

LoveColoured: yeah. they dangerous?

DieForMe: Bloody Hell not her again. Marisa, please get your mini-hakkero ready.

Hijiri: You know our assailants, Miss Margatroid?

DieForMe: Yes, unfortunately. One of the weirdest groups of Makaian pirates in the area.

Patchouli: I sense a very powerful magician on the other ship. We should be careful.

DieForMe: Don’t mind that. Marisa, if you would.

LoveColoured: on it babe! MASTER SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!

TheCaptain: Oh! Good goin Marisa! They’re fleein!

LoveColoured: eh. no pirates are takin my girlfriends!



Senchou: ow ow ow ow…. I just wanted to meet the cute girls on board…

Eva01: Senchou, you should remember who you’re dating.

Senchou: But rushiaaaa~ 



Hijiri: We should be arriving at Pandaemonium Dock shortly. Everyone, gather your things. Minamitsu, please stay with the ship for now.

TheCaptain: Gotcha, Lady Hijiri!

Patchouli: So, this is Makai… the air here is filled with concentrated magic.

LoveColoured: yeah. it’s why Reimu n i don’t really come ere often these days

DieForMe: It’s been such a long time since I was last here. I wonder if Mother will be in the castle

LoveColoured: probably will be, along with yer sister.

DieForMe: Oh, I’d almost forgotten about Yumeko. Are you sure she won’t impale you the second we disembark?

LoveColoured: if she does, i got healin magic now. I’ll be alri

LoveColoured: ah. seems I’ve been stabbed.



Hijiri: Minamitsu, please clean the lower deck when you can. We’ve had an incident.


SpaceMaid entered the room


SpaceMaid: Student of Mima. Why have you come… here…

SpaceMaid: …Alice? Is that truly you?

DieForMe: Yes, it is. Sister, do you mind explaining why you just stabbed one of my girlfriends.

SpaceMaid: Do you remember the tourism incident? She, along with the Shrine Maiden and Flower Youkai, were banned from ever entering Makai again.

LoveColoured: oh right… kinda forgot bout that…

Patchouli: Please take your blade out of Marisa. I will heal her.

DieForMe: Sister, we’re here to speak to mother. It’s about my grimoire.

SpaceMaid: …Alright. But keep this one at an arms length. I do not want her doing what she done last time.

LoveColoured: oh cmon yumeko i was a kid! i didn’t know any better

SpaceMaid: I doubt you’ve changed much.

Patchouli: …She’s got you there, sticky fingers.

LoveColoured: touché


Chapter Text

Hey y’all, Snom here. Still alive and kicking.

Just thought I’d let yous all know that I’m headed back into my college course next week, so expect new chapters to be few and far between. Now don’t worry, I do still have plans for this fic, what with the continuation of the Makai Trip, so I hope you’ll look forward to it!

I’d say expect the next chapter within the month or so. See ya then!

Chapter Text



DieForMe: It’s been quite a long time since I was last here. Has anything changed, sister?

SpaceMaid: Somewhat. A few other residents have taken up rooms, and your old bedroom has been preserved.

LoveColoured: oh neat. Mind takin us there?

DieForMe: No!

SpaceMaid: No.

Patchouli: Marisa, no. 
LoveColoured: oh cmoooon! i wasn’t planning on stealing anythin!

SpaceMaid: I find that statement hard to believe.

DieForMe: I’d rather you DON’T go anywhere near my old room. Ever.

DieForMe: Otherwise you can say goodbye to that humanity of yours.

LoveColoured: …aight then


Shinki is online


Shinki: Alice! My darling, how long has it been?!

Shinki: Look at how big you’ve gotten! My beautiful daughter, all grown up!

DieForMe: Hello mother. It’s only been 20 years or so. 
LoveColoured: sup Shinki!

Hijiri: It’s been quite a while, Shinki. How have you fared?

Patchouli: …

Shinki: Byakuren?! And Little Marisa! It’s been so long since I last seen you two! Welcome, welcome! Yumeko dear, can you please grab some tea for us?

SpaceMaid: At once, Mother.

DieForMe: Mother, I’ve come to ask about my grimoire. Specifically, how to disenchant it.

Shinki: Disenchant? Oh, you mean the de-aging charm! Give it here, I’ll have it fixed in no time!

Patchouli: Lady Shinki… Goddess of Magic…

Shinki: Oh? Alice dear, who’s your little purple friend here?

DieForMe: Umm…

LoveColoured: that’s Patchouli Knowledge, our girlfriend!

Patchouli: M-Marisa!

DieForMe: Oh no.



DieForMe: …Three, actually. I’m also dating Marisa and one other.



DieForMe: Mother! Please! 
Shinki: Oh? Sorry Alice! I’m just so happy for you!

LoveColoured: yknow, I kinda thought you’d be angry at me for takin her

Shinki: Oh please, I only have a grudge agains your mentor. If anything, I’m glad you two get along so well after the whole tourism thing.

Patchouli: My apologies for asking, Lady Shinki, but could you possibly assist me in my studies? It would be quite the honour to learn under the goddess of magic herself.

Shinki: Of course! Drop by anytime, the Pandæmonium Library’s open for all!

DieForMe: Mother, my grimoire?

DieForMe: Why did you place a charm on it in the first place?

Shinki: Well… it was because of how powerful it is. I didn’t want to risk having you torn apart by your own magic, so I charmed it.

Shinki: Though, the charm did have some unforeseen side effects… 

Shinki: Putting that aside, here! 
DieForMe: A…set of keys?

Shinki: Keys to Makai, more precisely. Just use them whenever you feel like visiting! 
LoveColoured: thanks, Shinki!

Patchouli: Thank you, lady Shinki.

DieForMe. Well, we should be going now. I’ll come back soon, mother.

Hijiri: I’ll be staying back. I’d like to catch up with Shinki here.

DieForMe: Right. Well then, see you soon!

Shinki: Come again, dearie! Hopefully when you’re engaged!



Chatroom offline

Chapter Text

LilMisSumi is online


LilMisSumi: Right.

LilMisSumi: Can someone please explain the GIANT MUSHROOM THAT JUST DESTROYED KOURINDOU?!

Kourindou: My collection…

Ruukoto: [Benitengu Take, commonly known as the Fly Agartic.]
HakureiMiko: Oh so she’s actually online now.

Ruukoto: [Greetings, Mistress Reimu.]


Kourindou: I think she inhaled some spores. Gods, have mercy…

GappySage: Sorry, god machine broke

Kourindou: What.

GappySage: God. Machine. Broke.

HakureiMiko: …Yknow normally I’d leg Marisa handle this sorta thing, but she’s still in Makai so I might as well.

HakureiMiko: Oh. Thanks for the gap, Yukari.

GappySage: It’s not a problem, dear~
HakureiMiko: eaugh. 
HakureiMiko: Anyways, time for this mushroom to meet its maker.

LilMisSumi: Can you feel your heart burning?

HakureiMiko: Huh..?

Kourindou: What in the name of-

LilMisSumi: Can you fee the struggle within?

Bnuuy: Umm, miss Usami? You alright?

Sanic: Ayayayaya… this is kinda unsettling

LilMisSumi: The fear within me is beyond anything your souls came make.

LilMisSumi: You cannot kill me in a way that matters.


HakureiMiko: I’m not fucking scared of you. Spirit Sign: Fantasy Seal!


DreamySunflower is online


DreamySunflower: My my, such troubles. Surely you could have called upon me for assistance?

HakureiMiko: Oh right, flower Youkai.

HakureiMiko: anyways, what was that whole thing about with Sumireko?

DreamySunflower: Oh, Reimu dear. Decay exists as an extant form of life. 
Kourindou: …that’s a terrifying answer. 
Kourindou: She just inhaled some spores, Reimu. I think the mushroom was controlling her.

HakureiMiko: Sure as hell seems like it. I need a drink.

Bnuuy: Don’t we all… Mind if I join you?

HakureiMiko: Sure. I’ll tell Aunn to prepare some plum wine.

AUUUUUNN: On it au!

SmortDrunk: hehehehehehehe

HakureiMiko: And I immediately regret everything. Suika don’t you dare.

SmortDrunk: Seems you’ve got a thing for bunny girls~~~~
HakureiMiko: No. None of that. Shame on you.


Everyone is offline.

Chapter Text

LilMisSumi sent a link:


HakureiMiko: Sumireko, what is that?

LilMisSumi: Apple.

HakureiMiko: What?

LilMisSumi: Apple.

ThisIsABucket: Apple.

LoveColoured: apple.

HakureiMiko: You’re beginning to freak me out…

GappySage: Apple.

Bnuuy: Apple.

TimeMaid: Apple.

HakureiMiko: Guys, seriously.

DreamySunflower: Oh my, this is certainly strange…

HakureiMiko: Oh thank the Kamis you’re normal, Yuuka.

DreamySunflower: Of course I am, dear Reimu. Why would I not be?

HakureiMiko: Everyone’s been saying Apple for some reason and it’s freaking me out. I think that link has something to do with it.

DreamySunflower: Link? You mean what Sumireko sent?

HakureiMiko: I don’t wanna click it…

DreamySunflower: Well, I can’t imagine a simple message should be able to

DreamySunflower: Apple.

HakureiMiko: YUUKA NOOOO

ItsAConspiracy: Apple.

TimeMaid: Apple.

Patchouli: Apple.

SmolBnuuy: Apple.

OrangeRavi: Apple.

BlueRavi: Apple.


???: Eat the Apple, Hakurei Reimu.

HakureiMiko: Huh..?! Who the hell are you.

???: I said; Eat. The Apple.

HakureiMiko: Y-You hold no power over me! I am the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, damnit!

Vengeful: Eat the apple.

AngelOfDeath: Eat the apple.

NohMercy: Eat the apple.

GardenSamurai: Eat the apple.

Kourindou: Eat the apple.



LunaChild: A

StarPlatinum: T



BuggedOut: H

Lamprey: E


SecretGod: A

Darkness: P

Guarden: P

ScarletDevil: L

UNOwen: E

HakureiMiko: …No.

???: You fucked up.

HakureiMiko: h-huh..?

???: You fucked up. 

???: Ė̸̢̘̖͍̰̼̗̥̫̳̜̹͂͗̈̑̚̕͠Ā̶̳̜͓͚̼̺̿T̴̲̥͍̬͕̖͐̔̽̔̅̓̌̓̄̕̕ͅ ̷̺͗̆̈́̃͠M̸̢̝̞͚̻̝͖̩͉̯̳̃͌̇̏́̊͒̋̔̑̔̕̚͘͘Y̷̡͖̾̄͝ ̴̢͕̰͓̗̳͔̑͑̓͌̏͘͘A̶̢̢̧͈͎̭̭̪̗̙̐̏̉͛̓̏̅͆͝P̴̖̙͈͙̝̮͈̫̻͈̹̖͊͌̓̈́͌̄͐͘̕̕͘ͅP̴̢̦̭̭̙̫̜̟̗̠̫̞̐̈́̀̊͊͑͛͊̂̔̇ͅL̵̢̰̞̣̞̫̰̱͗͑̈́̂͛͆̓̚Ē̵̢̡̹̪̩̫̬͙̤̰̥͍̆̌̋̀͝,̶̡̡̝̝̞̳̗̬͍̱̱̫̤͈̎͝ ̵̨̫̮̖͔͍̀̒̾͌͋͝H̷͎̱̬͆̊̐̈́̈́͋̚Ȧ̵̡̨̯̥̜̠̱͗̌̿̒̓̊͂̎̇̂͐͋̌͝K̶̝̤͙̩͊̿̾̆̀͘͠Ų̵̨͈̝͉̬̼̠͈̩̙̜̇́̉̌͋̈́̂̌̿̀͌͘̕͠͠ͅR̸̢͇̰̬̻̤̞͔͔̯̪̹̀̈́̈́̄E̴̞͙̠̯̲͙̞̲͙̤̱̻̺̞͋̾̓͂̄̽͛̈́̐̚͠͝Ḯ̶͚̳̌̈́̅̓̊̊͑̓̉̈́̈̿̂͜͠ ̵̡̤̫̜̞̪̠̈́̇̄̈͝Ŗ̸̦̙͛̔̎̚ͅÉ̵̛̥͕͇̬͓͈̆̽͑̉̋͋̈͑͝Ï̶̡͔̭̰͌͂̃̈̓̑̏͋̓̕͘͠M̷̢̛̬̥͚͈̼͉̩̜͖̣̜̮͙̹͑͐̑̍́̆̾̇͝͠Ṳ̶̩̜̼̎̅͆̽̄͛̾͐̋̚̕!̸̨̢̯̙̼̖͕̠̪̭̻͓͇͙́͊̓̈́̀̐̅͛͛

???: Ě̴̢̧̡̛̛̫̜͇͖̗̥̖̖̙̠͇̮̬͖̦̫̤̱̻͎̥̎̎̈́͐̑͋̓̀͌̈́̍̓̄͋̔̐̎͘̚͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͝ͅÂ̵̛͈̦̐́̏̇̓̈́Ţ̶̨̢̨̩̠̜͉͔͖̪̱̘͚̓̉̾̀̌͜͜͠ ̴̛̞̝̺̮̠͇̜̠̖̮̠̩̲̼̬̩̣͉͔̲͓́̊̈̐͌̑̓͊̿̌̈̇̆͆̐̓͌̓̌̈́͐̍̈́̕͘͝ͅÌ̵̛̛̞̖̖͔̘̘͖̯̺͍̞͈̫̳̮̺͇͂͗̐̋͛̉͑̍̃͛̒̐͊̇͒̏͂̈́̃͐̀̕͘͜͠͝ͅT̵̢̨͉̫̟͉͓̹̝̝̩͓̞̞̙̣̜̬̬̤̹̗͙͔̏́̈́̎̎̀͐̈́͌̇͗̑̃̀̊̇̌̾̿̎͘͜͝͝!̷̡̡̨̛̭͚͖̜̤̤̺̼͈̹̲̭͈̘̰̬̙̻̟͔̜͍͎̊̃͐̌̓̌̾̽͛̒̅̕͝͝ͅ

HakureiMiko: Wh…



Schlatt: Eat. My. Apple.




”-OOOOOO!” Screaming out in fear, the young Hakurei shrine maiden shot up from her futon in a cold sweat. She gasped for breath as she tried to reign in the adrenaline pumping through her veins, before reaching for her phone.



ItsAConspiracy: And so then I told them both off for destroying my PC.

LoveColoured: woah. they musta been pretty heated to’ve accidentally destroyed it

ItsAConspiracy: You have no idea…

HakureiMiko: Oh thank the Kami’s. You’re all normal!

LoveColoured: yo, Reimu! somethin’ happen? 
ItsAConspiracy: Are you okay?

HakureiMiko: I’m… I’m alright. Just had a strange dream…

LoveColoured: lemme guess, somethin bout an apple?

HakureiMiko: WH

ItsAConspiracy: That’s weird. I had that exact dream too!

TimeMaid: Likewise.

SamuraiGuarden: Same here! I woke up screaming my lungs out, to the point where I scared Lady Yuyuko awake.

Bnuuy: You guys had that dream too?

LoveColoured: yep. kinda weird it was only us incident resolvers though.

???: Apple.

HakureiMiko: NO!

LoveColoured: NONE OF THAT!



??? Changed their name to ThisIsABucket


ThisIsABucket: HA! How pathetic! A bunch a supposedly “strong” grown women screaming and crying over a prank! You’re all so weak!


HakureiMiko: That’s it.

HakureiMiko: Die. 
ThisIsABucket: Wh-what..?

HakureiMiko: Die.

ThisIsABucket: NO NO NO NO WAI


Everyone is offline.