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Impossible

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It had been two weeks, and Rex still hadn’t said anything, but he was starting to give her funny looks, like he knew something was off about her but didn’t know what. Really, Ahsoka was surprised she had hidden it this long. She wasn’t exactly sure how far along she was—the test hadn’t been that exact—but she could only plead tiredness for so long. Plus, she really did need to see a doctor soon. Ahsoka didn’t want to end up like Padme and Anakin with surprise twins on their hands. 

 

It’s not that Ahsoka wasn’t excited, or that she thought Rex wouldn’t be just as thrilled, but this had never been on the cards for them. The odds had seemed so insurmountable that once they got married, they just… stopped using birth control. With Togrutan-Human hybrids already being rare, plus the added weirdness of Rex’s DNA, it seemed beyond impossible. “Hmmph,” Ahsoka mumbled into the toilet from the refresher floor. “Impossible, my shebs.” 

 

The Togruta stood up, ignoring the momentary wave of nausea at the motion, knowing it would pass. Once she had thrown up, she usually was good for the rest of the day—usually. Ahsoka splashed some water on her face and rinsed her mouth out of the taste of vomit before grabbing her toothbrush. Of course, the Generation 1 clones had to be the only ones not sterilized. Ahsoka stopped her internal grumbling to look at herself in the mirror, running a hand over her still-flat stomach. She took a deep breath, stabilizing herself in the Force, when she felt a strange tug in her mind's eye. She felt her heart race when she realized what it was. She really needed to meditate. 

 

Ahsoka slipped out of the bathroom and past her sleeping husband quietly, heading for the living room. Their apartment was small, but Rex had made sure she had space for meditation, with several nice pillows stacked up and a table with candles and incense. She decided to forgo the latter, simply settling herself cross-legged amongst the pillows. Ahsoka closed her eyes and placed both her hands on her belly, focusing on the energy both in and around her. That little tug was there again, and this time she followed it. She found a white light, hidden inside herself, small but strong, battling the darkness. It was similar to the aura that surrounded all living beings, yet it was not fully formed. Ahsoka took a steadying breath and reached further inward, trying to touch the light. It reached back to her, and the young woman let out a quiet hum of satisfaction at the contact. She felt her heart rate slow and pulse in time with the light. “Hello little one,” she whispered, a feeling of delight coursing through her when the light seemed to recognize her. 

 

Finally, Ahsoka let all the emotions she had been holding back over the past two weeks wash over her. First, she felt joy at this new life that was all her own. The baby was a part of her in a way no one else got experience, even Rex. Something impossible had happened—a new adventure for the two of them to face together. More than that, now there was part of Rex and a part of her to live beyond them. Ahsoka basked in those feelings, letting herself feel excited about all the possibilities ahead for the first time since she had gotten that positive result. 

 

The second emotion she felt was fear, so much of it she thought she might drown in it. There was the first initial fear—how would Rex react? Would he be as happy as she was, or would he not want this new phase of life they were entering? What would she do if that were the case? The fear that followed quickly on the heels of the first was she was how she was even going to tell him. At first, Ahsoka had thought about just running and telling him right away, but he had been tired that night when he returned home, and she didn’t want to spring it on him. She wanted to make the moment special, but was afraid to make a big deal out of it in case Rex didn’t feel as she did. 

 

The second, greater fear, was that of all the unknowns that surrounded her. Would the baby be affected by Rex’s DNA altercations? By the fact it was a hybrid? Even normal pregnancies could have complications, and this was certain to be a risky one. Ahsoka was overwhelmed with a fierce protectiveness for her little one, but right now, there was nothing she could do to stop any harm in coming to them. And even after they were born, the galaxy was a big and dangerous place—no one knew that as well as Ahsoka and Rex. She already mourned the idea of her baby being separate from her, exposed to the threats of the world rather than tucked up inside her. 

 

Ahsoka let herself feel all these things, then let them go. Breathing in and out, calming herself and soothing the small life inside of her, she finally felt undisturbed and still. A sense of peace washed over her, not by ignoring her emotions, but by accepting them and realizing the things that she could do in the present moment. “I have to tell Rex,” she admitted to herself. 

 

“Tell me what?” 

 

Ahsoka’s eyes flew open to see her husband leaning against the doorframe, shirtless and still tousled from sleep. His tone was mild, but he looked concerned, a small line forming between his brows. When she didn’t answer, he walked over and sat across from her, taking her hands in his. “Please tell me, Soka. I noticed something different about you these past couple weeks, but I didn’t want to pry.” He said softly, though there was a quiet sense of urgency surrounding him. 

 

Ahsoka cleared her throat, trying to figure out what to say. Just because she had decided to tell him didn’t mean she knew how to do it. “You don’t need to worry, Rex,” Ahsoka said trying to soothe him, but her voice wavered slightly. 

 

“Oh, don’t give me that!” Rex sounded slightly annoyed, but he still looked worried. “You’ve been eating less and waking up before me, which never happens.” He raised a hand and ran it across her cheek and down her lek. “Your skin is flushed and your lekku are swollen, too. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” 

 

“I- I-” Ahsoka stuttered. Apparently she hadn’t been hiding her pregnancy as well as she thought. 

 

“Are you sick?” Rex asked, the fear in voice betraying how anxious her strange behavior had been making him. 

 

“I’m pregnant!” Ahsoka blurted out, then clapped a hand over her mouth. 

 

Rex’s face went comically blank. His mouth opened and closed several times before he finally managed to croak out, “Pregnant? H-how?” 

 

Ahsoka huffed in annoyance. “You know that thing we do, most nights and mornings and occasionally in the middle of the day?” 

 

Rex’s face turned crimson, and it would have been funny if Ahsoka weren’t so hurt by his reaction. “See, this is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d be upset—”

 

Her words were cut off by Rex yanking her into his lap and slanting his mouth over hers. Ahsoka made a disgruntled noise, but he just kept kissing her until she was gasping into his mouth from pleasure. He used the opportunity to run his tongue along her teeth, thoroughly exploring the inside of her mouth as if it were their first kiss. When they finally broke apart to breathe, Ahsoka realized he had tears in his beautiful eyes. His face was flushed with joy and emotion, his smile so tender it broke her heart. 

 

“A baby,” Rex whispered with so much awe, it made Ahsoka let out a watery giggle. 

 

She cupped his cheeks and butted her forehead against his own. “A baby, Rexster. A baby of our own.” 

 

“Like the twins, but better,” he breathed out. His face was still awash with disbelief and excitement, like he truly could not comprehend what Ahsoka was telling him. 

 

“I don’t think it’s a competition,” Ahsoka laughed. “Though if it were, you’re probably right.” 

 

“Heh, I know I am.” Rex laughed, then turned her so her back was against his bare chest. Rex’s hands came to rest on her belly, and he buried his face in between her front and back lek. Ahsoka let out a sigh of contentment and leaned back against him. 

 

“I like the twins well enough, despite their Skywalker genes, but this…” He stroked her stomach and his hand trembled as he did so. “A part of you and a part of me—that’s what makes it special.” 

 

Rex kissed up and down her lekku, showering her with his love, even as he shook slightly. Ahsoka felt something wet on her shoulder and realized Rex was crying fully now. She reached back an arm to run a hand up and down his buzzed head. “I- I never expected,” he choked. 

 

Ahsoka tilted her head back to kiss his forehead. “Neither did I, but we can handle it, together.” 

 

Rex nodded and let out a shuddering breath. He held her tight against him, the strength of his body a promise of protection, and his gentle kisses a promise of his love. 

 

“Together.”