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Summary:

After Lydia is still in the bathroom for over an hour Daryl decides to check on her, what ensues is a lot of comfort and dark truths.

Don't cross-post anywhere

Notes:

Please heed the tags! Heavy talk about rape (Daryl is not the rapist).
Hope you enjoy this fic!

I wrote this instead of studying (._.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

As Daryl walked through the gates of Alexandria, he was not expecting Connie to greet him with a full-length mirror, with a confused look he conveyed his question and she pulled out her notebook handing Daryl the mirror despite him holding two squirrels, the herd really did wipe everything out but it was better than nothing. He looked back up to see her handwriting which was far too neat for the apocalypse.

“Lydia’s a girl -plus you can see how dirty your clothes are now :)”

He had to choke back a scoff to that but did give her a ‘really?’ look, she simply rolled her eyes and nodded with that smile of hers, and that’s how Daryl found himself carrying the damned mirror up the stairs even though he had a perfectly good one hanging over the sink already, but into the bathroom it went.

A few hours later and Daryl had leaned it against the counter corner and wall, gutted the squirrels and sent the meat over to Carol to prepare, when Lydia arrived home from whatever she was doing he was sat on the sofa shirtless, Dog getting far too much attention for a mutt.

Lydia stayed for a minute asking how the hunting went and soon she asked if she could take a bath, Daryl told her to go ahead, so she did and he thought nothing of it. Around an hour goes by though and she’s still in the bathroom, he decided after a while of back and forth with himself to knock on the door, he waited a few seconds, but when he gets no response after around twenty seconds pass he opens the door slightly just enough to speak through

“Lydia?”

he hears some movement and what sounded like a whimper and so he tried again firm but soft

“Lydia?”

he didn’t get a response but she whimpered again even louder than before and it was clear that was what it was.

He didn’t know what was wrong, and while he obviously wasn’t a woman and had never really dated any he knew about their puberty and all that shit, maybe she started her period and thinks she’s dying, maybe she slipped or something Daryl didn’t know but it was clear she wasn’t okay.

“...I’m coming in okay?”

He reached for the handle and gently pushed it open enough for him to walk in but still keeping Dog outside of it, Lydia was sitting knees to her chest in the bathtub curled into herself. Grabbing a towel from the floor he walked over holding it up blocking her from his view until he could wrap it around her, it was getting soaked in the water but he didn’t give a shit, her hair was wet and she clenched her hands into the towel the second it was properly around her small figure. Her view stayed on the water beneath her though so, hesitantly, Daryl put a hand on her bare shoulder and rubbed it ever so gently with his thumb trying to search for any clues of something being wrong, her clothes were in the corner and from where he was he couldn’t see blood so that probably wasn’t it.

So what is it?

“C’mon kid, you okay?”

she still didn’t look up at him but he saw her expression shift to one of fear, distrust even

“Lydia, I'm not gonna hurt you, you know that.”

Daryl honestly didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do but he guessed he said the right thing when Lydia finally looked at him since getting in the tub, it seemed to break her free from whatever trance she’d been in and she carefully wrapped the towel around her before -much to Daryl’s surprise but not disappointment- wrapping her arms around his neck and crying into it.

Daryl admittedly froze for a while before returning it in an also admittedly awkward way, oddly he was glad that she allowed him to see her in this way, and no that way wasn’t naked, it was vulnerable. She let him see her vulnerable and he seemed to be the only person other than Negan with who she let herself be that with. No matter how much Daryl tried to tell himself it wasn't true.

After a while she calmed down and started tracing Daryl’s back tattoos with her fingers, he’s honestly kinda glad he took his vest off after getting back, it seemed to provide some sort of comfort for her, and she did say she’d done it with her fathers’ tattoo as well.

It’s probably not a good thing that he wanted her to see him as one. He didn’t have good parents so he doesn’t really know what they’d look like but he knows what the fuck to stay away from and he wanted to try and give that to her.

God knows she deserves it.

They stayed like that for a few minutes longer before Daryl pulled away moving his hands onto her shoulder to look at her

“you good?”

he asked as she shrunk back into herself he hoped his voice was lowered enough to be of some comfort.

She nodded and not knowing the next step to take he decided on asking what happened and she visibly tensed

“you don’t gotta tell me, just if you want” he added after a moment of silence

instead of replying she just looked deep into his eyes as if looking for something, he tried to give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and nervously she moved the towel down a bit, Daryl immediately turned his head and honestly wasn’t sure if she thought he was trying to proposition her or something stupid like that but before he could even think to speak she did

“Please just don’t hate me-”

he heard her voice crack and almost without thinking he looked back over, she was still covered but under her hand, which was covering her upper region, Daryl’s eyes focused on a scar that stretched along her whole under chest area, well they were scars and together they formed a word

“匚ᒪ𝙰ꕯϺ𝖤D”

it took less than a second for him to guess what that meant, his eyes were glued to it until he noticed her chest heaving around the towel, he looked up to her and with a look, he asked the question and she confirmed it with a shaky nod.

.,

Daryl had known rape victims before, known rapists, heard their stories. Merle had never treated women right, his father hadn’t, hell Daryl hadn’t at one point but one thing he couldn’t and could never stand was rapists.

Taking something away that wasn’t theirs to begin with, removing the control. It angered him to no end, and knowing someone had done that to Lydia? Daryl was pissed.

He wanted to kill whoever had done this, wanted to punish whatever cruel fucker gave her this life, and he would. He’d go out and kill any walker in his way but right now Daryl was focused on Lydia, not his own wants so he reached out. Putting his hand on her stomach and his thumb brushing over the scar, it was healed but it wasn’t one that would fade quickly if at all, it was shaky, uneven but it was clear its purpose.

He took his hand away and simply said in that quiet voice he’d used before with her

“I don’t hate you, Lydia. I couldn’t, not for this”

she took in a very shaky breath and tried to smile for him.

It wasn’t genuine she didn’t do that often but he appreciated the effort. He nodded and not wanting to leave her alone he sat outside the bathroom for her, Dog accompanying him of course.

When she came back out she was fully clothed and her hair was pulled in a bun thing.

He followed her to the couch, grabbing his shirt before sitting on his chair while she sat on the bigger one curling into a ball, no one said anything for a while which was fine, it was a comfortable silence but eventually with a whisper almost too quiet to hear she asked him a question

“do you want to know?”

she didn’t have to clarify what she meant, Daryl leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he'd done when she told him the truth in the cell, looking over to her she was tugging on her sleeves, he took a second then answered

“do you want me to?”

it probably wasn’t what the girl across from him wanted to hear after all getting a question from a question isn’t fun but this wasn’t his choice to make, she knew how he got some of his scars, knew about some of the reasons Daryl hated Negan, knew about his brother, both of ‘em.

But this wasn’t like that, Daryl had grown used to his scars, his past, his reasons, he wasn’t at peace with them and most likely never will be but he was used to them.
Lydia wasn’t weak and this didn’t change that, but she wasn’t used to talking about anything let alone things like this.

She broke the silence.

“My mother, she didn’t- it wasn’t- I didn’t think it was wrong. It was just the normal”

Daryl was starting to appreciate Negan’s job a lot more but he gave her a nod to continue she looked down to the floor seemingly unable to keep eye contact, he couldn’t blame her.

“but seeing everyone here, Henry…”

Dog had found his way to Daryl but seemed to sense Lydia’s discomfort more than Daryl’s anger and upset so he sat beside her which she looked grateful for.

“It happened to almost everyone, it was just how things worked, we needed to keep the numbers up, and if you weren’t with someone, you were anyones”

Dog was blocking his view of her but he didn’t look away from Lydia, he heard the cracking and resentment in her voice,

“seeing everyone here it’s not like that, you don’t have to be 'claimed' to stay here. My mother always told me it was just how it worked, that we were animals and animals bred”

he stayed silent, she needed to get it all out,

“she said I was lucky because she picked someone who wouldn’t hurt me”

Daryl’s knuckles somehow got even whiter as he clenched his fists tighter but they softened when she looked up to him with a look holding so many emotions

“...but it did, it did hurt, it hurt more than anything else they did, it didn’t hurt less the next time like she said it would. It was normal after you were ready, everyone would watch and it was normal.”

With a quieter voice, she added

“I thought you were going to do it to me too”

Daryl moved over to her wrapping a hand around the back of her head pulling her in gently

“you know I'd never do that to you right?”

she nodded into his chest and began speaking again

“I was scared, I was weak, it hurt but it wasn’t meant to she- she said it wouldn’t, it was just how we did things, that I wasn’t a cub anymore that I needed to learn but it hurt, I- I thought Gage was going to do it as well, he did the same thing he did, and Margo was going to watch like my mother. I thought she was right that this, that this place wasn’t real and- and - I didn’t want it to hurt again.”

Daryl shushed gently into her hair

“she said it wouldn’t- she said it-”

her voice was muffled and he couldn’t hear what she was trying to say but he could tell she was just repeating herself, trying to make sense of it all in her head.
Daryl didn’t cry often but he’s not gonna lie when he says his eyes felt a little too wet to be normal.

After a few minutes, Daryl spoke

“Lydia, what she did? That was wrong, you know that right?”

he kept his voice quiet rubbing the back of her head, she half shrugged and so he pulled her out of his shoulder to look at her moving his hands to both of her shoulders to keep eye contact

“Lydia it was, it was wrong. It hurt because it wasn’t what you wanted”

Lydia shook her head

“I must’ve, i- I didn’t fight”

she looked at him so incredulously as if he was so wrong and it hurt, she’d been taught she was weak no matter what she did.

“Just because you didn’t fight doesn’t mean you wanted to be raped”

he didn’t mean it to sound as harsh as it did but she just shook her head again

“rape doesn’t exist, Daryl, it’s just a word to make us think we aren’t animals”

he scoffed tightening his grip on her shoulders slightly

“if that was the case we wouldn’t be having this conversation”

she looked down with a weak shake of her head, Daryl moved one hand under her chin forcing her to look at him

“Hey, you aren’t weak for not fighting back, it wasn’t right what they did but you didn’t do anything wrong and if anyone, and I mean anyone tries that and you don’t want it you tell me”

she nodded gently “It hurt,”

she said quieter wrapping her arms around herself

“And you didn’t want it.” Daryl tried

she nodded again looking down to her lap

“...and I didn't want it”

it didn't sound like she believed it but they could work on it, for now, though he smiled at her and pulled her back in, after a while, they were cuddled up with Dog in a peaceful silence on the couch while Lydia calmed down and Daryl did the same.

Daryl knew they'd talk about this more eventually, maybe never in full detail but more nonetheless. He also knew she'd need the safe, consensual, sex talk at some point. For now, though he was fine sleeping on the couch with her across his legs.

Notes:

FYI the line “rape doesn’t exist, it’s just a word to make us think we aren’t animals” is from the comics (it is slightly tweaked to fit the conversation) but everything else is my own writing.
Also, in case it wasn't clear Lydia had never really seen the scars full force until the mirror was brought in, in my head the mirror was pointing directly at the bath, and having never seen herself fully with the scars wasn't prepared. I'm horrible at explaining things but hopefully this made sense.

But I really hope you enjoyed this, I fell in love with Daryl and Negan basically being Lydia's surrogate fathers, I've got more in the works for both Daryl and Lydia and for Negan and Lydia.
Updates are going to be a mess because of school and just life but I'm always working on something so please be patient I'm trying my personal best.
Comments and feedback are appreciated!
Stay safe and you are loved <3

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