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Escape.



Renjun wants to escape from the harsh reality. He wants to escape from the cruel world. He wants to escape from the expectations. He wants to escape from the responsibilities. He wants to escape from their judgemental eyes and filthy mouths. He wants to escape from his family, most especially his parents. He wants to escape from being himself.



It's tiring, exhausting, draining. He's dead beat.



He watches the clock as it strikes to twelve midnight. He should sleep. He needs to rest, he knows it. But his mind is still awake. His eyes are tired, he feels tired but he isn't getting sleepy any minute now.



Exhaling a deep sharp breath, he rises from his seat and goes to his closet to change into his hoodie because he knows that cold breeze will welcome him once he's outside.



After putting his hoodie on, he reaches for his wallet and his phone and decides to text Jaemin. 





To: Jaemin

suddenly wants to unwind.

you down for a drive?





No reply.



Probably, Jaemin is already under his sheets, mouth gaped open as he snores loudly. He just wishes Jisung, Jaemin's half brother, is already asleep or he'll be annoyed at how loud and irritating his older brother was.



Not losing hope since it's just one try, Renjun decides to contact Jeno and Donghyuck, his friends who are pretty much a thing right now, not getting his expectations high especially to Donghyuck.



As he's half-walking, half-running down the stairs, he messaged his friends.





To: Jeno

you still up?



To: Donghyuck

you better still up and reply to me.

go out. we're going for a drive.






Bet you noticed how different his texts were to Donghyuck compared to his other friends. Well, that's how they both are to each other whenever they text. Donghyuck actually started it and his reasons were, "To avoid being plain and boring. We don't want that here."



Even though Renjun considers himself plain and boring, he just follows his friend. He needs change. He wants change.



Just as he arrived at their porch, his phone rang to an upbeat sound which is a 5SOS song that he used as his call ringtone. It was good, blasting and if needed, it helps him whenever he's still sleeping soundly and it was an important call. 



"You're out now?" He greets the younger as soon as he answers the call.



"Why are you calling at twelve midnight, bitch you know—babe stop," the last ones came out as a moan that made Renjun roll his eyes.

 

 

"You sound like a wounded kitten," he retaliated and was about to end the call when he heard moans.



Irritated, he puts his phone near his lips and shouts, "Fuck the two of you!" He even heard the both of them laugh before he ended the call.



His phone chimes for a message, followed by another chime.






From: Donghyuck

your fault for calling at twelve midnight

serves your single ass right, bitch



To: Donghyuck

hope jeno annoys u the entire night





From: Jeno

sorry, renj. maybe next time lol hahaha




To: Jeno

no next time asshole





He sighs and hides his phone in the pocket of his hoodie and puts the hood on his head. Staring out at the cold and dark street, he takes his time to decide what to do.



He can't be out for a drive all alone. Because first of all, he doesn't have a car. That is why he contacted his friends. It was actually just Jaemin and Jeno who have a car but he decided to text Haechan as well because he thought he might be down for a driver and that dramatic friend of his also won't let him live if he ever finds out that he messaged the two and not him.



He suddenly remembers the plaza that has a night market that he can stroll to. 



Smiling now that he already has something to spend his time for a while and do something, he walks his way away from what they call "home".






 





"What are you doing here all alone?"



Mouth gaped open and eyes widened, Renjun looks behind him, even though he already has a hint to who he was, he still sees for himself.



He was right. It was Jaehyun, his ex-fling.



He turns around and blinks three times before he awkwardly smiles at the older, "Uhm… hi, my friends have something to do so I went here all alone."



Half a lie. Jaemin was already sleeping but his two annoying couple friends really have something to do but Renjun knows he can't put it into detail or it will be too much information for the older who was just curious as to why he's all alone.



He tilts his head, "You? Why are you here?" Renjun grins, "As much as I remember, this isn't your type of go-to place."



Jaehyun scoffs a laugh. He went to the stall of keychains that Renjun was looking at just a while ago before he approached the younger. Renjun turns his heels and follows the lad's movements, looking at the latter's back as he bites his lower lip. 



It has been years since he last saw the older that's why he's surprised to see him.



He saw the older hold his ear, a habit he does whenever he's anxious, "I actually saw you walking here all alone that's why I decided to follow you," the older was too fast to turn so Renjun didn't prepare for that.



"I'm sorry. Does that make you uncomfy? I was just trying to see where you're heading to and also to keep you safe…" Jaehyun's voice weakened.



Renjun was utterly shocked. He doesn't know what to say as of the moment. For a while when they didn't get to see each other, he was shocked as to why the older still cared for him. Yes, they were flings. Past flings. Done. Way passed that phase. Label removed. He didn't know what the older's up to and what he was trying to do but… he's still confused.



On the other note, he was right. There really is someone following him.



"Are you the one with the car?" he asked.



Jaehyun nods and hums in response, "Yes."



That's why the car's familiar. That navy blue jeep with a familiar sticker at the hood, it was still there. He didn't take it off. Opposite to what he told the older to do a while back.



Jaehyun is confusing him. There's so many questions that were playing in his mind on repeat. Some were fresh and new ones, most were the questions he tried to bury deep some time ago. The why's, what if's, how's, maybe's, what could've been's, if only's. 



The who.



Jaehyun was just looking at him, intently and with caution and curiosity. He was afraid of what the younger was thinking right now. He was just looking straight at him, patiently waiting yet his insides were getting impatient. He was getting impatient because of nervousness which soon fade away when the younger reacted.




Renjun sees a green light on his sight-line, just behind the older. He wants to escape. That's what his plan was. And he'll follow that plan.




Taking it as a signal, he decided to follow what his heart wanted and shut down his mind for a while.




"Is your gas tank full?"






 





Hair ruffled, shirt crumpled yet they didn't care.



Renjun shifts on his seat and onto the lad's, falling forward and onto the older's chest. That didn't stop the both of them though. 



As the older snakes his arms on the younger's waist, Renjun follows his moves as the lad wants him to go and straddles his hips. Sitting on Jaehyun's lap, he slowly rocks his hips in an inward and outward motion repeatedly, moaning at the friction he made from the movement.



Jaehyun groans in his tongue, he moans in Jaehyun's mouth.



He misses this. Renjun misses the feeling. The friction. The scorching touches and lingering sensation in his system. He misses Jaehyun's lips on his, open mouth and exploratoring tongue. He misses the older's touch, some were soft, some eager to find something, some are rough, wanting to feel him. He misses the sound the older makes in pleasure. He misses how Jaehyun can make him produce new sounds that he hasn't discovered in him. 



Renjun breaks away from the kiss. Hands fidgeting, breath quickening, he tries to remove the older's shirt. Jaehyun, noticing his struggle, decided to help him and pulled his own shirt up to his head and threw it at the passenger seat.



"Take your time. No one's rushing," whispers the older before leaning in and claims Renjun's lips.



Jaehyun's hands become searching. Without removing the younger's hoodie, he roams his hand on Renjun's body. His lips now trailing its way down from the younger's jaw to his neck, tongue kissing Renjun's sensitive spot making the latter arched his back and moans.




Renjun was supposed to ask the lad for a spont night drive but as they got inside the car, the atmosphere suddenly got heavy, tension intensified and the next thing he remembered was him, kissing the older passionately and with so much hunger as if he starved himself for months—which actually he is, though in sexual sense.



Can you blame him, though? Jaehyun was the one who removed his "never been touch, never been kiss" label. He was the reason why Renjun was now more outgoing and lively. In every adventure and expedition Jaehyun went to before, he didn't forget to make sure that Renjun was tagging along, at the same time making him feel safe and secure to not scare him and make him go inside his comfort zone again.



And after him, Renjun was in drought. He didn't have the time—or let's say he doesn't want to have the time—to meet someone. His friends, most especially Jaemin, always try to hook him up with someone he knows that would be compatible with Renjun but to no avail. 



His reason was, "I wanted to focus on myself and be better," which is more of a convincing remark to himself than to others.




Renjun gasps when he feels the older's rough warm hands on his nipples. Arching his back, he grips onto Jaehyun's muscular arms to not let him fall on the wheel and creates unnecessary noise that might disturb the peace of the neighborhood.



The heated tension was slowly building up, breaths became heavy and fast, louder than it was before as well. Renjun was already feeling the sex fire, the need to be entered and to feel the older inside him.



But he still needs to ask something he forgot to ask a while ago.



"Did you—" he moans when he feels Jaehyun sucks the sensitive spot on his neck, "—did you have someone to do this… after me?" he managed to say.



Jaehyun leans back, his hands slowly going down to his hips. He stares at the younger and swipes his tongue on his lips.



"I did."



Renjun wants to scoff. Brutally honest.



"Do you still…?" he asks, couldn't continue what he wants to say but figured Jaehyun already knows what he meant.



Jaehyun chuckles and shakes his head. Renjun creases his forehead at the lad who leans in to give chaste kisses to his lips.



"I said I did, Amour. Did. Past tense," said Jaehyun before finally claiming his lips, completely shutting him up.



And Renjun was relieved… at least?






 





Renjun remembers the first time he met Jaehyun.



It was also the time he wanted to escape from reality and expectations. Same reasons, still same reasons. 



He wanted to unwind that's why he called his friends to join him for a walk. 



"Where are you?" he asked Jaemin, who seemed like having a blast.



"At Sungchan's house! His brother threw a welcome back party for himself and Sungchan's now trying to make a move on Zhong! Come here and witness this interesting movie!" his friend giggled after, pertaining to Jaemin's cousin Sungchan and their other chinese friend, Zhong Chenle.



The background was a mess, Renjun thought to himself. There was a blasting EDM song remix at the other end of the line, people cheering and screaming the lyrics of the song that's playing but sounded gibberish to Renjun's hearing.



"Is that the bitch Huang?!" he heard Donghyuck ask, making him roll his eyes, "Hey, Huang! You better get your ass here! I shouldn't be the one having fun here and chugging this hell tasting vodka!"



Renjun scoffed, "I don't drink vodka, dumb ass."



"This will be the first time you'll taste this! Come here in three or I'll drag your non-existent ass here! Jeno went to the gym earlier that's why he's ready to carry you, one hand!" 



Donghyuck was already screaming that Renjun put his phone away from his ears. He decided to just put it in speaker mode to protect his ears.



He grimaced when he heard Jaemin and Donghyuck were already shouting at him in unison, making the words they said distinct to Renjun's hearing. Sighing, he ended the call and texted Jaemin.





To: Jaemin

i'll go in five




From: Jaemin

hyuck said in three 




To: Jaemin

in five or i won't go

i still need to change, dumbass




From: Jaemin

FINR

that's hyuck and he meant fine lmao




From: Jaemin

ttyl mark's eyeing me bye

i'm thrilled as fuck hagdhahs

i need to make him want me wish me luck boo





Renjun put his phone on his bedside table, shook his head at his friend and opened his closet to put on some jeans and a crop shirt. Those will do, he guessed so. He'll just bring a jacket in case.



After he was done changing, he got his phone and earphones 'cause he didn't want to walk on the streets that's too quiet, sprayed some perfume and he was ready to go. Running down the staircase, he bid his goodbye to his cheshire cat, who he still hasn't named yet.



Sungchan's house was on the fifth street—his was on the second that's why he agreed right away since there's no hassle going to the party. Putting his earphones on both of his ears, he plugged it to his phone and played his playlist he just named "Playlist" before he went his way to Jeong's residence.



He already knew Sungchan as Jaemin's younger cousin. They're close, not the close-close but he still could say they bond once in a while and with the other guys. Meanwhile, Sungchan's older brother who he thinks is named Jaehyun. He still hasn't met him since the man,  it was a hearsay, was in Connecticut finishing his studies there.



He had few questions in mind as curiosity creeped his system.



What does he look like? Is he nice? Kind? Or perhaps he's intimidating? Maybe like Sungchan, he's also six feet tall, more or less? Will they vibe? Is he…



He didn't want to continue and say the next question or else he would be in trouble.



Thankfully, he was already in front of Jeong's residence. 



He saw many cars parked in front of the house. Some have the same logo, just different models and colors and some look a little expensive for Renjun's eyes. He eyed the White Mercedes as he wished to have one of those when he got to have a car—which was in his dreams.



To stop pitying himself, he averted his gaze towards the house.



Their rustic tall gate was wide open, ready to welcome anyone, invited or those who'll gatecrash like him. Well, he actually wasn't gatecrashing since he was invited—by his friends. Is that counted?



He hoped so.



Shrugging that thought away, he entered the abode and welcomed himself since everyone's having fun with themselves that he has no one to welcome him.



Entering the pavilion, he was surprised to see a familiar figure on top of a man. 



He scoffed and rolled his eyes. He decided to approach them, slowly and carefully as he didn't want to interrupt them anytime soon until he did so. Once he was behind them, he pulled his friend's hair and away from the man sitting on the fountain.



"Ouch!" Jaemin whined, glaring as he looked who's the fucker who interrupt their make out session.



"You're quick, huh?" Renjun raised a brow at his friend before looking at Mark and smiled, "Hi, Mark. Apologies for interrupting, just need to do this to my friend here," he gestured at Jaemin who was pouting, lips reddening from the sesh.



Mark chuckled, "No worries. But I suggest, you shouldn't hurt my bub right here," he requested as he soothed the younger and caressed his hair.



Jaemin stuck his tongue out at Renjun causing the latter to scoff and make a face, "Donghyuck?" he asked.



"Find him yourself," Jaemin retaliated, still whiny.



Renjun crossed his arms over his chest and stood beside them, "Okay, then. I'll stay here 'til you tell me where they are."



"Maybe, in a room! Eating each other's face or probably fucking already!" Jaemin answered, a bit annoyed and pushed him, "Now, go!"



Both he and Mark laughed at his friend. Before going inside, he playfully waved his hands at both of them, wriggling his fingers in the process, and  Jaemin just replied with a middle finger up in the air as he continued the interrupted heated session with Mark.



Upon opening the main door of the house—he wanted to call it a mansion, though—Renjun was welcomed by heart pounding, loud music, dizzying disco lights and crowd wilding.



He saw familiar faces, some were neighbors, some were common friends while some were new to his sight. He guessed it was probably Sungchan's older brother's guests. They were all fancy looking. Some were tall, some were dashing, some were looking lavish. 



Now, Renjun wanted to back out as he looked at himself. He surely looked like a teenager who just passed his minority and went to his first party. Renjun rolled his eyes and sighed. Next time, he better make sure to ask his friends first how the people at the party look so he won't be out of place.



Turning on his heels, he went out to the door he just entered. He changed his plan and will just let his friends be where they are. He'll probably just go home.



That's why he didn't know what he was doing at Jeong's left side of their house where the pool was. He was sitting at the side of the pool, earphones on, playlist on shuffle as he was playing with the cold water of the pool with his hands, giggling whenever water accidentally sprinkled on him.



"What are you doing here alone?"



Renjun shrieked because of shock. He was too shocked to the point that his hands that were playing in the pool swiped the water causing him to get drenched.



The man's voice vibrated and came close to him, the same time he looked back to see who it was.



"Are you okay?" the man's still hiding his laughter with his left hand on his mouth and his other hand went carefully to Renjun's shoulder.



"Oh, I'm okay. Just drenched. No big deal," Renjun answered with a shrug, voice filled with sarcasm as he wiped his shirt, expecting it to dry.



The man roared in laughter, purely amused at the younger's remark, "Sorry—"



"Yeah, you are," Renjun cut him off with his monotonous, unamused voice.



The lad bit his lower lip to stop himself from laughing but there was still a ghost of amused smile. Wanting to know the entertaining guy in front of him, he extended his hand and introduced himself, "Hi, my name's Jaehyun. Jeong Jaehyun. You are?"



Renjun was taken aback. His mouth was gaped open and eyes were widened.



Did he just use sarcasm on Jeong Jaehyun? One of the owners of this house? The one who threw this party he went to? Jeong, Sungchan's older brother and Jaemin's cousin who just got back from Connecticut, Jaehyun?



Right on time that Ariana Grande's song, "R.E.M", one of his favorite songs, played.



Excuse me uhm… 



"I love you."



"What?" Jaehyun asked, confused and entertained at the same time.



"What?" Renjun blinked.



Oh, shit.







 





"Sorry, there's so many stop by but here," Jaehyun extended his hand that's holding a red cup and gave it to Renjun.



The latter accepted it and smiled, "Thanks."



He took a sip on the drink, which he thought was a mixture of JD and Coke since he requested a mild drink and he also hinted a smell of sweet carbonated drink on his cup.



The older went beside him where he was leaning on the kitchen's island counter. Both of them were now looking at the people partying and making a mess at Jeong's abode as they silently sipped on their drinks.



Renjun noticed that the thing Jaemin was talking about a while ago—the one about Sungchan and Chenle maybe ended earlier because he didn't get to witness it and see it with his own eyes. He also noticed that the two were nowhere to be found and he guessed they're both together or maybe not. 



Chenle's known for being picky. He didn't really have a specific type for guys. Didn't have any visible pattern either. When he likes someone, he'll just go for it. No twists and turns, no buts and what ifs. That's why he really couldn't answer if Sungchan succeeded in his plan or not. But if Renjun will add the subtle efforts that Sungchan did for his friend, he thinks the younger might pass.




Renjun tilted his head.



On the other side of his thoughts, he saw how Jaehyun got stopped by the guests, some called the latter while some were a bit aggressive which he thought was because of the alcohol but Jaehyun still smiled at them and talked to them enthusiastically. He was welcoming, cheerful and easy to blend in. 



Unlike him.



He straight his drink, hearing the cup crack in the process before he gave it back to Jaehyun. The latter looked at him confusedly, "Another one?"



Renjun shook his head, "I don't know where's the trash can so…" 



Jaehyun chuckled and put the cup on the kitchen counter, "You can just leave it here."



Renjun bit his lower lip and pouted, "Not sure if that's allowed."



He was already tipsy, he won't lie. That's why he prefers mild drinks over the strong ones. He couldn't hold alcoholic beverages that well because aside from having low-tol, he also doesn't drink that much since he doesn't like liquors at all.



There were just some times that hating on liquors was an exception. Times like this or for occasions and times when he wanted to escape.



The older also decided to straight his drink and put his cup beside Renjun's before wiping his mouth and looking at the younger, "Do you want to change? I have some shirts upstairs," he offered.



Renjun looked at himself. His clothes were still a bit wet. He hates it when he's wet or feels sticky because he thinks sickness will come knocking at his door anytime. So, he nodded his head at the lad in front of him.



Jaehyun smiled at him, "Okay. Wait here. I'll go get 'em—"



He stopped the older by holding on to the hem of the latter's shirt, "I'll go with you."



Jaehyun stared at him, "Okay."



So, Renjun followed him as they went upstairs, passing by the messy living room with Jaehyun's guest whom the latter didn't forget to greet them and talked to them as they went through the crowd. Still, Renjun didn't get to see his friends in sight.



They ran by the staircase and Jaehyun laughed at Renjun's awkward face as he saw a couple almost eating each other's faces by the stairs.



"I mean… they could've got a room or do that somewhere else, you know? They're blocking the way," Renjun tried to reason out as they walked into Jaehyun's room.



Jaehyun loudly smirked, "Didn't see you as conservative."



"I'm not!" Renjun defended himself, "It's just that they're blocking the way, okay? I'm even wearing a cropped shirt," he said in defense mechanism, opening his jacket to let the older see what he's wearing underneath.



Jaehyun nodded his head, not really convinced but just to end the topic, "If you say so."



Renjun sighed. He pulled his arms out of his jacket's sleeves one by one, "Where's your shirt? Do I fit in there?"



The older lad chuckled, "Of course, you'd fit. The question is how big it is to you."



Renjun shook his head, "Not a big deal. As long as it's not ragged or stinky, it'll do. Can I sit on your bed or you don't like it when someone occupies it with their outside clothes?"



Jaehyun looked at him before throwing him the shirt. Renjun was caught off guard that the shirt landed on top of his head, covering his whole face, making the older laugh.



"Sorry. But I'm okay with it. I sometimes sleep with my outside clothes on. Too tired to even change sometimes," he shrugged.



Renjun removed the shirt on his face and asked, "Where's your bathroom?"



Jaehyun thought of joking, "Is there a need to? You can change here. I won't even dare to look."



That sounded offensive to Renjun. It hurted his ego. Jaehyun hurted his pride and confidence. He knew the older didn't intend to and was just joking but he still felt a pang on his chest. He knew he meant that he won't look at him as he changed clothes but… 



Why does it sound so bad for Renjun?



Now that the pain went away, he decided to ride the older's joke. Raising a brow, he smirked at the lad in front of him. He already took off his jacket, that's why the cropped shirt was the only hindrance to him being half-naked.



Slowly, he tugged his torso to his head as he spoke, "There's also no need to look away. I don't mind," he said and successfully pulled his cropped shirt off of him as he teased the older.



It was the alcohol. Yes, Renjun swore to all the Greek Gods and Goddesses that it was just because of the liquor he intake that's making him do that. He wasn't like that when sober. He knew it. He knew himself better than anyone, even his parents. 



The heat that's building up on his body was slowly flowing on it's way to his cheeks. He could feel the tension slowly rising, atmosphere heavy. He didn't know what to do or what to say next. He just stood there, frozen into place. He already realized what he had done.



And Jaehyun… the lad was just staring at him, still standing to where he was after getting him a shirt to change. His eyes were hooded, gaze piercing and an expression on his face Renjun couldn't fathom—or let's just say, he didn't want to tell exactly what it was.




Renjun couldn't stand the intense gaze of Jaehyun at him that in a hurry, he tried to put on the older's shirt but made it undone when Jaehyun walked closer to him, his right hand on his nape, the other on his waist, pulling Renjun closer to him before claiming the younger's lips.



Renjun took a step backwards at the sudden movement and Jaehyun moved along with him. Kiss still hasn't breaking apart, Jaehyun pulled the tshirt that's half-worn on Renjun's arm and threw it somewhere in the room.



Jaehyun noticed that Renjun's kisses was a bit messy and sloppy, like he didn't know what to do. So, he opened his eyes and saw how the younger's eyes were shut tightly and his forehead creased. Hinting that it was the younger's first time, Jaehyun stopped.



He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the younger's, mentally cursing himself.



"Why?" Renjun asked in a breathy and shaking voice, "Am I not—" even before the latter could continue what he wanted to say, Jaehyun already shook his head.



"Sorry," he mumbled before parting away and looking at the younger's eyes with a puzzled look on his face, "Did I scare you?"



"What?" Renjun immediately shook his head, "No. No, you didn't."



Jaehyun was just staring at the younger, still looking guilty and apologetic.



Renjun swallowed a lump on his throat, avoiding the older's gaze, "I-I was surprised at first but… it was okay," he looked back up and nodded his head as if reassuring the other, "It's okay. I promise."



He also didn't wait for the older to say a thing or do something. Instead, he stand on his toe, rising up to reach Jaehyun as he cupped the latter's face and closed his eyes as he claimed the older's lips.





 




That's how they became a thing.



They would always call each other. Exchanging messages, having late night conversations and small talks on calls. They sometimes would facetime if someone has a story to tell and would laugh their asses off over the stupidity they did or just randomly anything they found funny.



They would also call or message one another when they need to do THAT.



Like, right now.




Jaehyun calls him asking if they could meet which Renjun answered right away.




To: Jaehyun

yes i'm free

u okay?

did something happened?




From: Jaehyun

yeah

and no

nothing to worry about

i'm going over yours




To: Jaehyun

okay

tell me if you're already here




But just a right timing when he decided to tell his parents that he'd have some company over, his dad was trying to blame him for something he didn't even do.

 

 

It was always like this. Whenever his father saw a fault and Renjun was on his sight-line, it was already his fault. He didn't even asked if that's the truth or not. When it comes to him, his father was blindsighted. 

 

The one who they always neglect. The one who's always at fault. The one who is their  mistake.



That's what Jaehyun saw upon entering the Huang's residence, welcomed by Renjun's older brother which introduced himself as Hendery and vanished after letting him in.



"Hey. Hey, Renjun. Hey, look at me," Jaehyun called the younger as they walked out of the house.



He stopped Renjun from walking by his shoulders and turned him around to make him look at him. But the younger lad was looking down, his right foot tapping the ground repeatedly and his left hand on his face. Jaehyun began to worry as to what happened after their conversation in text. His worry doubled and got concerned when he lifted the younger's chin and saw him crying.



Even though he's so worried and too concerned about what happened, he decided to pull the younger into a tight hug as he caressed Renjun's back.



"Hey, I'm here. It's going to be okay. I'm just here, okay?" 



Renjun bursted into tears, crying loudly as he hugged Jaehyun tighter. 



"I'm sorry, you have to see that," he even apologized which Jaehyun thinks he shouldn't be.



The latter didn't know what to do. He didn't know what happened and he was also curious as to why the younger broke down like this but he hinted it went bad. It was no secret to him that Renjun and his parents aren't really in good terms. The younger already told him about it before but he didn't know it was this bad.



The only thing he knew to console the younger was to hug him as tight as he could and whispered he's just right there, beside Renjun and will never leave him alone.



But he still did.



He left Renjun alone.






"Don't you think this is too sudden?" Renjun asked the older after telling him the news.



Renjun scoffed a laugh and wiped his cheeks. Jaehyun even felt more sorry to him as he saw the younger in tears.



"We were together the past months. You could've said it earlier so I can prepare myself," Renjun looked down and tapped his right foot on the ground repeatedly, "But you chose to say it the day after? For what?"



"I'm sorry."



That's the only thing he could say. The right thing he thought he could say as of the moment. He thought that no amount of words can even explain how wrong he was on that part.



He actually decided to go back to Connecticut and finished his masters three days just before this day, the moment he said it to Renjun. He was really hesitant and undecided for months.



His mind was all over the place. He wanted to stay here and begged his parents to just let him finish his masters here but he knew better that studying there is even better. And because after he finished his studies, he'll work at his uncle's company for a while as a training before he decided what to do with his life.



He was actually decided that he'll follow the plan. But then, he went back to his hometown, threw a party for himself then Renjun came into the picture and suddenly, he wanted to involve the younger to his plans. He wanted him to be part of it. They might have a complicated status but he was sure, it's the younger. It'll be the younger.



The only main plan that he has. The plan that he thought had failed as the younger let go of his hand that day. 



But he heard about the news of Renjun not wanting to be with anyone in the years of him being away. That's when he knew that the plan didn't fail.



It wasn't a fail but a postponed plan.



 





 

"Jaehyun," the younger calls Jaehyun who was busy brushing his hair.



They are both under the sheets, legs tangle and both naked yet they don't feel the cold as their bodies were pressed against each other, giving enough warmth with their embrace to each other.



After what happened inside the car, thet went back at thr night market because there was a dance that's happening there and decided to join. They see familiar faces and come with them as it even became more fun and merry. After getting tired of hours of dancing and talking and laughing, both decided to escape and went to Jaehyun's unit that he's staying in right now. He delivers the good news to Renjun that he will be staying here for good which made the younger delighted, of course. 



"Hmm?" the latter hums his response.



"Why me?"



Jaehyun stops from doing things on his hair and looks down at Renjun. He stares at the younger for a minute, trying to figure out what is on the latter's mind, before he knots his forehead, "What do you mean why you?"



"Why did you chose to be with me? Not just tonight. Even before, regardless of our setup," he asks curiously wanting to have a piece of the older's mind.



Jaehyun doesn't answer for a while. He just keeps staring at the younger who's eyeing him curiously and attentively waiting for his response. 



He slowly puts his hand on the younger's face, his fingertips brushing Renjun's face im the process, making the latter flutters his eyes close. His fingers travel Renjun's nose bridge, the tip of Jaehyun's forefinger curves through his closed eyes. Then, he brushes the younger's cheek and the latter leans in to his touch making him unconsciously smiles. Lastly, he caresses the lad's lips with his thumb, staring at it before planting a soft chaste kiss.



Renjun's heart felt full, eyes became teary, unable to control his emotions when he heard the older whispered, 




"Because it's you," the older smiled, "It'll always be you. The plan… the plan is if it's not gonna be you then it's no one else. You are the main plan."




He closes his eyes when he felt Jaehyun's lips on his forehead as Renjun prays, 




"Please let him know that I love him."