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Come closer and see, see into the trees

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It smells like sweat. Like sweat and like horniness. This is worse than I thought it would be. So many humans with so many heated emotions that all transfer onto me. I don't know why I listened to Emmett and went to this stupid nightclub. It's already hard enough to not eat random people at college. Against my hopes, it's worse now in college than it was in high school, it feels like everyone is even hornier and acts more loosely than before.
Suddenly a big guy bumps into me, spilling his beer on my shoes. I growl and look at the dude furiously.
"Oops, sorry, buddy" the guy shrugs, barely looks at me, and turns around.
I'm not having this tonight. These shoes were expensive and they're relatively new, and even though it's not like we don't have the money, this guy will pay for ruining them and acting like such a careless fool.
I grab his shoulder and jerk him back, making him stumble over even more people. The bass of the techno music is pulsating through my body, if my heart was still beating I'd hear my blood rush through my veins.
"You ruined my shoes." I growl at the guy. He's tall — not as tall as Emmett though — 6'2, maybe 6'3 and has dark blonde, shoulder length hair, similar to mine. He looks like a Californian surfer boy who gets all the ladies and is used to getting away with everything.
He frowns and gets his face closer to mine.
"What?" he yells, and his breath reeks of beer and schnaps. I bite my lip. Stupid little fragile humans with their insufficient hearing and their alcoholism. Before I can stop myself I grab his tank top's collar with one hand and his neck with the other one and pull him even closer. "Woah!" he yells and tries to escape my grip, but, of course, I'm stronger than he is. My lips are near his ear, but therefore also near his neck' veins. His pulse is up to about 125, higher than just a few seconds ago, and he's breathing heavily.
"You ruined" I mutter through my clenched teeth "my shoes."
The guy tries to free himself again, tries to shove my hands away, but my grip is firm.
I can feel my mouth watering, can feel the venom collecting under my tongue, ready to spread in my victims body to either kill or transform. Preferably kill.
What am I thinking! I can't kill a random human in this club full of people! I need to first get him outside in an alley or something.
He's still trying to shake me off. And he's yelling some incomprehensible stuff. Only now I notice that a crowd has formed, a small circle standing around us, cheering, holding beers and drinks in their hands.
Out of my sudden unwariness my victim manages to shake me off.
"What the hell, man?!" he screams over the cheering and the continuous music. "What's wrong with you?"
I take a step back. This is not how I imagined this to go. Well, I didn't imagine anything because I didn't think, because I'm an impulsive dumbass.
I need to get out of here. Where the hell is Emmett?! He better not be flirting with other guys. He knows that I have trust issues.
My eyes glaze over the crowd, trying to find Emmett.

"What, now you're tryna get out of here? You started this, don't be a pussy now!" my victim yells, closing his hands into fists, and starts making little jumps up and down, forward and back. This looks so utterly ridiculous that my mouth curls into a smile.
"What are you smiling at? C'mere, fight with my, little guy!" he shouts. There's sweat dripping down his forehead and temples. It's repulsive, really. But if he wants to fight, we'll fight.
The crowd starts cheering in union: "Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!" they yell over and over again.

My shoulders tighten, I slightly arch my back and bite my lower lip.
"Bring it on." I murmur. He can't hear it, it's way too loud, but he doesn't need to. Almost roaring he speeds towards me and punches me on the chest, my right pec if you want to get specific.
I don't move an inch. Instead the guy stumbles a few steps backwards, looking at his hand, then at me, in disbelief. The people around us get a bit quieter. The song changes, if you can call these beats and inhumane sounds a song.
I keep on smiling and make a come here movement with my index and middle finger.
Suddenly the guy rips out of his disbelief and comes at me again and I can tell he's going for my pretty face this time.
As his fist hits my left jaw I slightly move my head to the right, so that it doesn't seem like I'm completely made of stone.
"Fucking shit!" my victim screams and falls onto his knees. The knuckles on his right hand seem a bit, well, distorted. He must have broken them by hitting my face. A few people run towards him, a few others laugh - whether in disbelief or out of mockery - but the rest of our little crowd dissolves. Apparently it's not such an interesting fight if the scrawny, skinny boy breaks the jock's hand without doing anything.
"I thought you wanted to fight!" I shout at him.
His friends that were helping him get off the ground almost drop him again as they hear my voice, loud and clear this time, oh, I'm making sure of that!
"Yeah, I'll fight your skinny ass!" my victim shouts back.
I bet his blood will taste of beer when I drink him. I hate it when blood tastes like that, but I know I'll still enjoy his juicy, warm, sweet human blood nevertheless. I can barely wait. I'll lure him outside, show him what a real fight looks like. And then, when he's almost passing out, I will grab his arm and drink from his pulse vein. And I'll make him watch. He'll look into my eyes while I suck out every drop of his blood, and those eyes will be filled with terror and with fright. Maybe I'll choke him, too, just for fun. We'll see.

Knees shaking, pulse at 147 now, he fully gets up again, swallows, and tries standing up straight.
Let's go
I smirk. Now I, too, curl my fingers inwards to form fists. I growl. But as I'm just about to punch the dude in his stupid face I get jerked backwards by the collar of my blazer jacket.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
"Jasper! What the hell are you doing?!" Emmett yells as he stands in front of me now, and, boy oh boy, does he look pissed...
If we were in a cartoon there would be steam coming out of his ears right now. He turns around to my victim and towers over him.
"Man, I'm so sorry about my brother. He, uh, he's drunk and, uh, a little weird." he tries explaining to the dude and his friends, but they all look at him terrified, as if this big teddy bear could ever hurt someone.
Emmett turns around, grabs my arm and pulls me towards the exit. I scoff.
"I'm not a little weird." I complain as we step out of the club.
First, Emmett doesn't reply and just continues pulling me with him.
"Alright, alright, will you let go of me?" I complain again, but he still doesn't reply. Instead he pulls me to the parking lot of the 7-11 where his car is parked. He opens the driver's as well as the passenger's doors, all while he's still got his big hand wrapped around my upper arm. Then, finally he lets go of me to shove me into the truck. A second and a half later he's sitting on the driver's seat.
"You're right. You're not a little weird. You're very weird." He says, sighs, and turns towards me.
"Are you for real, Jas? I take you out to party one time and you go pick a fight with the first human you come across? What, we're you gonna feed on him?" he asks and looks at my with piercing eyes. I stare back at him, not beating and eye. "Were you- Jasper, were you going to kill that kid?"
"No" I lie. "He ruined my shoes. Spilled beer all over them." I explain, shrug and my hands gesture to my feet. "I wouldn't have gotten that pissed if he had at least apologised."
Emmett scoffs and looks at me stunned, slightly shaking his head. "Dude, that was a drunk twenty-something year old college kid, maybe, if not probably, on drugs as well. We were at a club, someone might spill some beer on your fucking shoes! Gosh, you didn't even pay for them! Mom and Dad did."
"Pff." I scoff. "Stop calling Esme and Carlisle Mom and Dad. They're not really our parents."
"Yeah, well, maybe that's how you feel, but to me they are like parents and you know that it hurts Mom if we call her Esme."

I shrug.
"Oh, don't you shrug like that! What's gotten into you?" His voice is softer now, like he's genuinely worried. That man really can not stay angry for longer than five minutes.
I exhale. I didn't even notice I was breathing.
"I don't know." I say and look out the front window. "I guess, being away from the others, coming out, breaking up with Alice, all these careless humans at college... It's all a lot. Maybe we should go hunting. Let go for a while. Maybe we can find a bear for you to tear apart, we're in Canada after all."
"Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad." Emmett agrees and starts the car.

Neither of us say anything during the 8 minute drive to the nearest forest. We've only been here in Canada for a few months, but it didn't take us long to figure out where it's best to hunt. There's forests pretty much everywhere.
We spend six minutes driving on a lonely one-lane road until we reach a sharp turn. Instead of following the road he drives off it, through a muddy path surrounded by the first few trees of this forest. He parks the car far enough into the forest that no one will notice it from the road.
As we get out of the car I close my eyes and soak in the earthy, mossy smell of the woods as I feel the excitement crawl its way through my body. Yes, this will be good, getting away from everything, letting loose, tearing something apart. Feeding.

Emmett jumps up and down a few times, the way a human would do to warm up for running. It's unnecessary, Emmett knows that of course, but he does it every time I go hunting with him alone.


This had already become a habit of ours before we decided to the same college away from the rest of our clan. Sometimes after school, sometimes when Carlisle and Esme spent some time in Brazil on their island, or when Rosalie and Alice went on a shopping spree. Edward never leaves the house whatsoever, so we had to get around him some way. There was no point in lying, obviously. He was the first one to know. He knew even before I knew. He didn't care.
I spent so much time trying to suppress it. It worked quite well for the first few decades. I was happy, happy with Alice, happy to be away from María. But once we became part of the clan everything changed. It was the first time I had ever seen someone be openly queer. I never would have thought that that was possible, especially not if you live under a roof with several hundred-year-old vampires.
But seeing someone live so fearlessly and be so free and open about themselves was... I don't even know how to describe it. It changed my whole view.
In retrospect I'm not sure why I stayed with Alice until recently. There were many chances for me to tell her. To come out, to break up with her, to confess to Emmett. But I think I was just too scared of ruining everything.
After all this time, after all the suffering and gaslighting and pain I had finally found someone who truly loved me. A love that I reciprocated, but just not in the right way, not in a romantic way. However, knowing that Alice had seen the possibility, had seen my with Emmett in the future, made it easier. But I still hurt her. And Alice is someone who truly has been hurt enough. She doesn't deserve any more pain.
But she has Edward and Rose to care for her, they're travelling through Europe right now. I think they're currently in Greece, although I imagine all that sun to be quite difficult to handle. Or maybe they just go out by night, I don't know. I haven't talked to them for a few weeks. It's a bit awkward. But Emmett keeps reassuring me that that will pass, that in a while we will all see each other again and things will feel normal again. And I think believe him.

"You coming, Jasper?" Emmett yells from the other side of the truck, so I speed over. He's smiling his big, goofy Emmett smile that makes him look like a bit like a giant golden retriever.
I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his face down to mine, standing on my tiptoes so it's all easier. For a second I just look into his warm, big eyes. They're hazel brown at the moment. It's beautiful, really.
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?" he asks, his voice low and raspy, but somehow still so warm and comforting. I close my eyes and our cold lips meet each other. He holds my waist to pull me closer. I smile into the kiss and Emmett uses the parting of my lips to slide his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues play with each other and the kiss gets more demanding by the second. I want to stay in this moment forever. I feel one of Emmett's hands slide down to my butt, squeezing it slightly and I wrap my arms around his shoulders as tightly as I can.
Then I break the kiss.

"Emmett?" I ask quietly.


"I think I love you." I say and my heart would be pounding so hard if it just could. We haven't said it before, after all, we haven't been officially together for that long. Two seconds and a half Emmett looks at me and a feeling of uncertainty travels from him onto me.
Maybe I shouldn't have said it. Maybe this was a bad moment, Lord, what if I ruined everything?

But then all I feel is warmth. Warmth and love and desire and more warmth.
Emmett pulls me even closer to his body and kisses me softly.
"I think I love you, too, Jasper."
There's so many feelings, so many waves of emotion going through the both of us and I feel a double load of them.
We keep making out like this for a few minutes, minutes that feel like seconds and hours at the same time. Minutes that I wish could last for days or weeks or eternity. Then it slowly gets more heated and I can feel that he's getting hard and so am I.

"You don't wanna have sex right here right now, do you?" I ask and raise my left eyebrow.


"On what?"

"Whether you want to." Emmett smirks.

"Well, I do want to" I say and my hand on his waist travels under his shirts, "and I can tell you do too." I suggestively look down at his crotch, "But I think we should hunt first. You know, tear something apart, feed, get stronger"
"Well, I'm feeling pretty strong already." Emmett jokes and flexes his biceps. I roll my eyes.
"You know what I mean. You know it will be even better after we've hunted." I pull my hand away from under his shirt and frame his cheek instead. This time it's me who pulls him into a yearning kiss.
"Yeah, you're definitely right about that." my boyfriend says, smiling, as he pulls away and I nod, smiling back at him.

"Bear or mountain lion? Or are you feeling like moose today?" I ask, but we both know it's more of a rhethorical question. If given the chance, Emmett will always go for a bear, and there are enough of those up here for sure.
"Oh, you know it already, baby!"

And then we start running.


A good 37 minutes later we've torn apart a big male grizzly bear. Emmett just ripped open its stomach and is now drinking from its neck. The blood is just so oozing out of the animal. Of course it wasn't necessary to tear open the bear's stomach, if anything it's rather counterproductive because that way blood will go to waste. But Emmett does it every time we get a bear. His way of trauma therapy I guess.
I'm working on ripping out the dense coat of fur on the animal's shoulder to not get a mouthful of it. As I've exposed the skin I give Emmett a nudge to signalize him to scoot over because his broad shoulders are in the way. He looks up and into at me and growls. There's this animal-like, wild mania shimmering in his eyes, dark, wet blood smudged around his mouth and dripping from his chin and it's so inexplicably hot. Screw the grizzly, I don't need to feed right now. All I need is Emmett.

My boyfriend must've read it in my eyes, because without me saying anything he leaps onto me and throws me over so we're laying in the foliage, him on top of me.

He tears my t-shirt apart and throws it somewhere in the distance, I start unbuttoning his shirt but he shoves my hands away and instead rips the clothing off in one smooth, strong motion.
I smirk, grab his neck and start kissing him while trying to lick as much blood off his skin as possible. He moans into the kiss as I gently press my knee into his crotch. I can feel how hard he is - how hard and how big. Now, I'm not small myself but Emmett's dick is like everything else on his body: really, really big.
He places his left hand right next to my head and uses the other one to open his pants to get rid off them. Simultaneously I open my pants as well and pull them and my boxers down without breaking our heated kissing. I kick off my shoes too while I'm at it.
Emmett must've removed his underwear too because I can now feel our cold erections rubbing against each other.
We both groan deeply and Emmett kisses his way down my neck. I tilt my head so that my cold skin is exposed.

Emmett presses his shin between my knees, so I open my legs and wrap them around his ass, pulling him tightly towards me. The dirt and leaves from the forest ground don't stick to us, they just glide of our porcelain-like skin, like water off a lotus leave.
I feel Emmett's thick cock near my ass, ready to fuck me hard and relentlessly. He pulls away from my neck and I look into his eyes, they're golden now, like amber, and I know what he's asking. I nod and pull his face onto mine again, just as he spreads me legs apart even farther and pushes into me. I gasp for air as I feel him tear me apart. We usually use lube, but obviously not here in the middle of the forest, so it's more painful than usual. But I enjoy every second of it.
Emmett lets out a deep, frantic growl and starts moving inside of me.
"Kiss me!" I demand so bearing the pain is easier, and he does as I ask. His thrusts get even deeper, harder, stronger, and for a moment there I think I won't be able to take it. But then Emmett starts pumping my dick in the rhythm of his thrusts and the feeling of pleasure takes over me. Of course I get double the amount of enjoyment out of it since my partner's emotion transfer onto me, probably the biggest advantage of my powers.
"Gosh, you're so big!" I cry during a short break of our kiss. Emmett smiles and says "I know, baby." and I think I might go insane right here and right now. I'm not that big on pet names, but in a moment like this when I'm all his, when he controls me and has all the power of me, being called something like ‘baby’ turns me crazy.
I throw my head back the moment he hits that special spot inside of me and Emmett takes it as an offer for him to bite my neck. Not what I intended, but I'll gladly take it. We do this sometimes, sort of act as if one of us were human, including biting and scratching each other. I can't explain why it turns us on so much. Maybe it's the feeling and thought of vulnerability, or maybe we're just kinky vampires who enjoy pain during sex. His sharp teeth penetrate my icy skin with a burning, stinging pain and I let out a high pitched moan.
And then he injects his venom into me. My entire body begins to burn as it spreads from my shoulders to my arms, my guts, and eventually my legs, taking over me, and, Jesus Christ, I love this feeling so inexplicably much!
He keeps thrusting into me but has stopped jerking me off, so I pump my dick myself and start grinding on Emmett's cock. He gets the message and now lets completely loose. He thrusts into me harder than I ever thought he could, at an inhumane speed. For the human eye it wouldn't be comprehensible how fast he fucks me, but for a vampire it's the greatest form of pleasure.
We moan and growl together, he bites my shoulder again and again everytime it heals itself. I don't know how long we keep going on like this. Maybe 30 minutes, maybe and hour, maybe longer. Time becomes a curious thing once you never have to worry about it ever again. And we don't run out of stamina.

"Baby, I'm about to-" Emmett groans and I nod vehemently. "Me too!"
He has his giant hand wrapped around my dick and tightens his grip, hurting me, but in just the right way. In that way that he knows is going to turn me crazy and finally get me off. The muscles in my lower belly tighten and I can barely breathe as I cum all over both of our upper bodies. Then I can feel my mate shoot his load deep into me as well, an ice cold feeling slowly spreading through my abdomen.

Emmett pulls out of me and collapses next to my left on the foliage. I turn to lay on my side, wrap my arm around his torso as far as I can reach - whis is only to his left pec - and bury my face in his neck crease. He kisses the back of my head and his fingers play with my blonde curls.
"I love you, Jasper. I love you so fucking much." he says. "And I love fucking your brains out." he adds and I laugh. Teasingly I bite intro his shoulder but without penetrating the skin.
"I love you, too, big guy. And I can't even begin to explain how good it feels when you fuck me."
My boyfriend puts two fingers under my chin to make me look up and we share a soft, short kiss.
"Jazz?" he asks.
"How about you top next time?"
I raise my eyebrows. He's never suggested that and neither have I, it was just never a topic of conversation. When we slept together for the first time I was the one to fall on my knees and give him head and ever since then I've always been bottom. And I like it that way. But I could get used to the idea of taking over him, making him mine, taking control.
So I agree. "Yeah, why not." I say, smile, and kiss Emmett.

We stay there on the ground for some time, intertwined, talking, kissing. It's nice, really, really, nice.
I genuinely love him. So much. And I can feel his love for me, too.