The monster girl roulette
Welcoming the mysterious masked magician!
“This is the day I read that stupid e-mail...” I thought to myself as a looked through my E-mails.
“3M presents The MG roulette.” It read.
This email came to me last week and it didn't look like any spam I'd seen before. And the strangest thing about it was the fact that a friend of mine got the same thing and every time we tried to delete it, it would show up again with the same send date as if nothing had happened.
Eventually, we decided to check it out, viruses be damned.
I opened the email and was treated to a video screen and the words “please watch the video”. pressing play the video showed a stage and a tall, slender man walked into view lit up by a spotlight. dressed in a dark blue suit and cape with green lining, his face hidden by wearing a white mask with its only feature being a monocle drawn around the left eyehole along with his long grey hair. “Greetings friends!” the masked man happily said with a bow, his accent had a refined British tone to it. “I'm the mysterious masked magician! but you can call me 3M!” The now-named man let out a loud laugh that seemed to echo in the hall he was in.
My thoughts were somewhere else... 3M? Was this guy serious?
His name was as ridiculous as his getup.
“Now I know what some of you are thinking, like how you can't delete this email or how I got your email address. Let me tell you that wasn't easy.” before I could put more thought into it 3M shrugged.“But that right now is irrelevant, right now all I want is for you to play a game and this won't go away until you play it. “A game?” I thought. “Would he really make an undeletable E-mail for a game”
"It's a really fun game, a possibly life-changing game!” he was getting more excited with each pause in his words.
“Life-changing? I thought to myself “What is this, a chance to win money?” My own thoughts turned to winning a prize sum of cash regardless of the video being a fake. Petty, I know but hey, we can all dream.
3M then stamped the floor, and a green staff sprung up from seemingly nowhere. He caught it in his hand with a smooth motion and with a twirl he slammed it on the ground. Twin jets of fire shot up from each end of the stage, illuminating the whole area and revealing that behind the man was a black chalkboard with crudely drawn numbers and pictures and above that there was a banner that had the words “MG roulette!” written on it.
“Gentlemen, I present to you, the monster girl roulette!” he spread his arms out with a shout as confetti fell around him. I wasn't impressed, mainly because I wasn't sure what the hell I was looking at. “Monster girls? What kind of dumb thing is this? Must be a brand name.”
“Now here's how to play this game of mine, it's actually quite simple really” 3M used his staff to point and the first picture on the chalkboard behind him, the camera zooming in to show the drawing was of a stick figure at a computer. “You will see a button on-screen after this video and all you have to do is press it and it shall reveal a name.” He moved his staff to the following picture, showing a pink stick figure with a sign that read 'mystery MG' above it “Then the lucky lady according to the name revealed on the screen will appear and the rest after that is in fate's hands.” he seemed to let out a dark chuckle at that.
“What the hell? This is just a blind matchmaking service! And what does he mean by 'the rest is in fate's hands?” This was starting to annoy me, just push a button and receive a woman? Sounded stupid.
“An encyclopedia will be issued to you at the end of this video, I suggest you read it before you press the button so you can at least know how to deal with what you get. Or maybe you're a guy who likes to be surprised, I don't know, I can do a lot of things but mind-reading isn't one of them.” he gave another laugh, seems like this man loved to laugh a lot.
3M then tapped his staff on the ground and the chalkboard vanished. “Don't worry about keeping secrets, I want this to get out! Tell your friends, family, and anyone you can about your results! You are among the chosen few to begin a change that will shake the world!”
And with that, the twin jets of fire stopped, and with one last loud laugh the man called “3M” vanished in a puff of blue smoke as the video came to a stop. A new window opened full screen consisting of an image of a red button with the words “click me!” on it.
“Well, that was dumb.” I thought to myself. “What stupidity!”. Life-changing experience? Shake the world? I had better things to do than listen to the masked freak and his virus-video E-mail thing.
And this web page, Could it be any tackier? I bet it doesn't even show the name or whatever he mentioned and instead just links me to the dating site I believed the page was trying to promote.
In an attempt to prove myself right I clicked the button, there was no tab, opening up to the web page like a thought didn't even get my virus blocker warning me about the page, all I got was a black word appearing below the button image.
I had no idea what it meant. “Lamia? What the heck is that for a name?” I muttered to myself in confusion. Then another thought hit me. If I was supposed to meet this woman how the hell is she going to know where or who I am? And for that matter, how am I going to do the same?
The silence was then broken by a dull knocking sound from downstairs followed by a low dragging noise. I had thought that my dad was back home with the shopping or-
Realization hit me “hold on, dad's not due back till three, mum's with him and I didn't hear the door.”
Fear racked my head as I opened my door and gave a shout “OI dad! You back from work early?”
Silence, even the dragging noise had stopped as I started talking. I was about to think I was imagining things until I heard another knocking followed by the dragging sound and with my door open there was no way I was mistaking that.
I went downstairs slowly with caution to the kitchen where I believed the noise came from, only to find nothing, the room was empty save for a couple of knocked-over chairs. As I stood the chairs back up I looked around the room and started to worry “How could some get in the house? The windows are shut and I would have heard the smash if they broke one. Also what was with that dragging noise? Whoever is in the house is at least carrying something big enough to cause the noise like that.”
Grabbing the broom from the corner of the room I checked the lower floor, keeping an ear out for any noise. Finding nothing I returned to the kitchen and got myself a cup of water. “Maybe it really was nothing.” I thought as I tried to calm my nerves by drinking.
If there's one thing I know in this world that's not funny, it's having an unfamiliar voice speak behind me while I'm drinking something. Whoever it is was going to have to wait for a reply as I spent the next minute in a coughing fit.
“Oh, I'm sorry! Are you OK?” said the voice after a while, I had calmed down enough to register the voice as female.
“No, I'm not OK! Who are you and what are you doing in my house!?” I said angrily between coughs as I looked at what looked like a woman in their early twenties. She was slender and tall with tanned skin, long blood-red hair flowing down her back and covering her ears and left eye, the right eye shining an unnatural gold-looking colour. The weirdest thing about her was her choice of clothes for all she had on was a jet-black bikini top. What she was wearing below her waist I couldn't see as her legs were obscured by the kitchen counter.
“Like I said I'm sorry, my kind is not exactly good with people,” she said with a slight blush of embarrassment.
“You didn't answer me, what are you sneaking around my house for?” I growled out. “For that matter, how did you even get in?”
“Didn't the blue sage tell you? To meet you of course!” she spoke happily. Seemingly ignoring my second question.
“What?” was my intelligent reply. Blue sage? What did she mean by that? I don't know any- realization hit yet again “It couldn't be, is this guy known as 3M?”
The woman clapped her hands together in remembrance “Yes! That's what the sage called himself. He said I could find what I want if I listened to him.” set paused and looked me over several times before she said in a sultry tone “And I must say, he didn't disappoint.”
I began to get nervous as she started to stare at me like I was a piece of meat. So this apparently was the woman sent to me via 3M and his “game”, is this what he meant by a life-changing experience because all he's done is drop this woman in my house and sent her to me, while that is abnormal it certainly isn't life-changing.
She then leaned towards me over the counter and took a long sniff. Her eye glazed over and she made a noise that sounded like a hiss. “Such a wonderful scent.” she spoke in a heated tone “I wonder what else about you I may like.” She finished with a giggle.
“She's weird, too weird for me and I need to get out of here,” I thought as I started to edge myself towards the door, I have to get past her to get out but I hoped that wouldn't be a problem. “Well you seem nice, but I think that you'd better leave, I thought that roulette thing was a joke whatever that guy has planned I want no part of it,” I spoke nervously.
The dragging noise returned from behind her but whatever it was I couldn't see it. The woman's smile remained but her whole expression seemed darker. “Leave? I have no intention of doing that, I intend to spend a long time enjoying myself with you.”
I decided that this had gone on long enough and I needed to get away from her. broke into a run around the counter to get to the door. But as I passed her I tripped over something and crashed face-first into the floor.
“Now don't be so hasty, wouldn't you want to have fun with me?”
Something cold and smooth started to coil itself around me quickly and restrict my movement. I was probably fast enough to get out of it if the first sensations hadn't made me freeze up in shock. Taking a glance down shock soon turned to terror when I saw that what was binding was a large orange and brown snake tail. My arms were still free but I could not push or kick myself free.
“Oh do keep moving, it feels great on my scales!” she all but moaned out. It was then that a looked at her and was about to ask he what she meant only to pause in shock again being on the other side of the count meant that her lower body was in view but where her legs should be was the start of the tail currently wrapped around me.
“What the hell! What are you?” I screamed as my struggles to get free increased.
“Didn't that message thing tell you? I'm a Lamia,” she said happily as she started to drag me towards herself (god this tail is long) giggling pervertedly along the way.
It all clicked in place at that and I felt I was an idiot for not realizing it. It wasn't a brand name, the guys involved were actually getting set up with inhuman women! I tried to think of a way out of this. “dammit if only I didn't click on that stupid...aha! That's it!” seeing as my hands were free reached for my mobile in the games of the coils and pulled it out.
The Lamia had stopped pulling me towards her and looked at the phone with curiosity “what are you doing?”
“Something.” As if some stroke of luck the phone started ringing in my hand and lit up with my friend's name, startling the snake girl but it wasn't enough for her to let go. I ignored her surprised look to answer the call. “You will not believe what's going on man, you gotta-”
He cut me off with a voice filled with panic “Don't tell me you clicked that stupid button too?” he said almost hyperventilating. “Hell is real! It has to be or she would not exist! Women are not meant to have horns and wings, and that tail... what the hell's going on?” He was shouting at that point. The lamia was now looking at me confused, I guess she had never seen a phone before.
Before I could reply, there was the sound of a door being opened and a feminine voice made itself known on the other side. “There you are! Why are you hiding from me?”
“Get away from me demon!” My friend shouted.
“Oh come done don't be like that, I said I'll hide my wings and tail if they disturb you, the horns have to stay, however. could never hide them right” the voice said in a tone that sounded like it came with a pout. “But just trust me, you'll change that view soon enough.”
“Are you still there? you've got to help me- no wait give that back!” he cried out as the was a rustling noise.
“Is this what a relic looks like over here?” her voice was louder, she must have gotten hold of the phone.
“Who is this?” I asked down the phone. The voice gave a yelp and the was a crunching sound before it the line was cut off. Crap, I must have spooked her and she smashed the phone on reflex. Now there was no way to help my friend from whatever that woman was doing. A sudden squeeze reminded me that I was still in the coils of a somewhat confused Lamia and how I had stopped being afraid of that I had no idea. She was still staring at the device in my hand with caution before she leaned forward and smacked the phone out of my hands. “Ow! What was that for?”
She gave a hiss in frustration “We are about to start our fun and you would ignore me right in front of my face to talk into that thing? I can't have that!” she was annoyed, rightfully so as I had been ignoring her in an attempt to get some assistance in this problem.
“Um now that you mention it, what do you mean by 'fun'?” right now I was on the kitchen floor face up. wrapped up in the tail of a snake woman (I don't even know her name now that I think about it.) who's here thanks to an asshole magician and his game. That's not fun to me.
Her one visible eye seemed to glaze over again as her face took on a lustful look. “Finally! I thought you'd never ask.” She leaned in and gave me a deep kiss on the lips and in seconds her tongue was in there. When she stopped I was so awestruck by how good it felt that everything I tried to say came out in babbles until she put a finger to my lips as her other hand went to lift up my shirt. “shush, just be quiet and enjoy thi-.”
“What the hell is going on here!?” Aww crap, in now that voice anywhere. I tilted my head to the side to look past the to see my mother staring at me with a look I couldn't really describe.
“Well mum, ” I said with a chuckle. “Normally this it the part where I say I can explain. But I seriously have no idea how to explain this.”
“Well you can start by telling me why you and a seemingly inhuman girl were about to get it on,” she said through gritted teeth. It was weird that the fact I was making out with a woman in the kitchen was angering her more than the fact she is part snake.
At this point, my dad decided to show up in the kitchen. “Hey son, I've got the shopping and this time I've got your apple jui...” His voice trailed off as he took in the scene before him and looked along with my mother, the whole scene had begun to get truly awkward.
The Lamia had stopped her… show of affection for me and had turned her head to see the disturbance. The look on her face was a mixture of confusion and annoyance once more. “Do you mind?” She hissed out. “We've already been interrupted once and I'd like to enjoy my husband in peace thank you very much.”
That hit me like a punch to the face as I stared at her in confused shock.
“Well excuse me for coming back to where I live.” My mother replied with a sort of auto-response. Then all of what she just said registered in her and my father's heads.
“Wait, what!?” was the combined shout of my parents as the snake woman lifted herself up and used her tail to pull me up. “What the hell do you mean husband!?” my mum continued. She turned to me with anger. “Who... what is this woman? How could you do this without talking to us?”
Once more panic had its way and I broke into a ramble. “It's not like that mum! I swear to Jesus it's not like that! I'm not her fiancée, I've only known her for less than an hour and I don't even know her damn name! Goddamnit if I knew that stupid it e-mail would cause this I wouldn't have touched the damn thing!”
The coiling tightened on me as the Lamia started stroking my face, silencing my rant. With a loving smile, she pushed her hair behind her ear so both her eyes met mine “Oh how rude of me darling.” I gave a shiver at that word. “My name is Maria.” “Maria?” Wow, I did not expect such a normal name from someone who is a serpent from the waist down.
“Listen um... Maria was it?” my dad spoke up. “If what he says is true, why do you um... let's see... desire our son so much?”
Maria seemed to go into thought “For starters, he looks appealing to me, there's also his wonderful scent and the fact that he seems to at least accept what I am, that's always a plus...” She continued on about what she liked and seemed to get happier with each thing she named off while I on the other hand just stared at her “Does she really like all of that? Hasn't it been not that long since she saw me?” I thought to myself.
My mum was not impressed. “So you telling me that you simply showed up and based on your first impression you want him?”
“Pretty much,” Maria replied with a shrug. I could help but feel some pride in the fact that such a beautiful woman wanted me. Pride then turned back into fear again when she licked my cheek.
Mother pressed on “And you couldn't get one of your own kind because?”
Maria's eyes turned a little sad. “There are no males of our kind, as such humans are used for continuing our race, but since we look like this (she gestured to her tail) humans think I want to terrorize and eat them.” her gaze then turned back to me. “I had observed many humans before coming here and most of them were violent, terrified of me or just plain unsettling. A man like you deserves my love.”
The mood was broken by my dad bursting into laughter. “I honestly can't believe it! Someone likes my son to that extent and that quickly as well! I thought he was gonna end up a basement dweller!”
“Oi!” I shouted out.
“While that's all well with you, I still don't think we can just let her do this.” mum said with a scowl, annoyed at this whole event.
If the look on her face was anything to go by I was pretty sure Maria would not be happy with separating from me anytime soon and seeing as this was going nowhere I tried to come to some form of compromise. “Just because I don't know her doesn't mean I won't try to get to know her, we can talk to each other and learn so we won't be jumping into anything fast. That good for you?” I asked my mother and Maria.
Mum looked Lamia in the eyes “There is nothing I can say or do that's going to stop you right now is there?” she gave a sigh when Maria shook her head. “Fine, I'll allow this if only you start with talking and none of what I walked into.”
The coils once more tightened on me as Maria gave a cry of pure joy “Wonderful! We can start right now!”
“Wait I still have to ask him about-”
My mother would not get a reply The next thing I knew I was being dragged upstairs to my room by Maria's tail, and the last thing I heard from downstairs was a “Good luck son.” from my still amused dad as he broke into another laughing fit.
At this point a took a look at the snake woman and thought about 3M's `game`. Were there guys near like me and my friend who also got these strange women? Was my friend okay? What if they are not as nice as Maria? There, not all snake women as the other one mentioned had horns. And most importantly could I make a stable relationship with someone who would have pretty much forced herself on me if not for the intervention of my parents?
One thing was true. The blue sage (or whatever he went by) w
as right about that `life-changing experience`.