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Usagi Commits Tax Fraud

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“Usagi wake up!” Ikuko Tsukino, Usagi's mother said.
“What do you want, mom? It's 5:28am, school isn't even close to starting.”
“I know that but can you guess what time of the year it is?”
“No, I’m failing every class, how do you expect me to know what time it is?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that I'm raising a dumbass!” Ikuko said gleefully. She pulled out multiple pieces of paper from her pocket and threw them at Usagi's head.
“These are taxes, fill them out before school starts and I won't make you go to school today!”
“HOLY SHIT! GIVE ME A PEN, I NEED A PEN!”
“Catch!” Ikuko threw a pen at Usagi, hitting her on the head.
“Leave, I need to be concentrated to fill out these taxes!”
“Alright, tell me when they're done!”
Ikuko walked out of Usagi's room, leaving her to fill out the taxes.
-
2 hours had passed since Usagi was asked to fill out her mother's taxes. She was it her wits' end with these pieces of paper. She wanted to scream, she wanted to rip these pieces of paper to shreds, she wanted to kill someone.
“AHHHHHH, FUCK THESE TAXES! TAXES ARE A BLIGHT ON THE WORLD!” Usagi quickly tore the paper to shreds after hours of torture.
“Mom, I’m finished!” Usagi quickly changed her tone so that she would sound happy to her mother.
“Thank God! You finally did something useful for once in your life!”
“Now what do I do?”
“I don't fucking know, put it in a mailbox, I guess.”
“I'll do it later.”
Usagi wasn't particularly tired, so she wanted to hang out with her best friend, Naru Osaka. She began calling her
“Hey Naru, my mom's letting me skip school today, wanna hang out?”
“Usagi, you know that I have to go to school today right?”
“Just skip school today, duh.”
“Good idea.”
“Where you wanna go?”
“Let’s get drunk.”
“That sounds fun as hell! I’m in!”
“Meet me at my mom's jewelry store.” Naru ended the call.
“I'm gonna enjoy today!” Usagi, who was still in her pajamas, quickly ran out of her house. She was so happy that she accidentally bumped into someone.
“I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to-“
“That's ok, I could tell that you accidentally bumped into me.”
His ID was on the floor, Usagi grabbed it and looked at it.
“Your name is Mamoru Chiba, you’re 19 years old-”
“Hey give me that!” Mamoru grabbed his ID and put it back into his pocket. “Now that you know my name and age tell me yours, it’s only fair.”
“My name is Usagi Tsukino, I’m 14 years ol-“
Mamoru began to blush.
“A middle schooler? I need to leave, I can't go back to jail!” Mamoru ran away.
“He's weird.”
Usagi began running to towards Jewelry OSA-P, but she was stopped in her tracks by a black cat with a crescent shaped bald spot on its head.
“Finally! I've been looking for you!”
“Holy shit a talking cat! Am I already drunk?” Usagi asked herself.
“You're not drunk, I’m just a talking cat!”
“But that's impossible!”
Luna didn't respond.
“Just take this.” Luna grabbed a brooch with her mouth and threw it at Usagi. “If you're ever in trouble say the words Moon Prism Power, Make Up!”
“Okay, cat!”
Usagi started running again
-
It took a few minutes but she was finally at Jewelry OSA-P. Naru was laying on the ground infront of the entrance to the jewelry store.
“NARU! HOW DARE YOU! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET BLACK OUT DRUNK TOGETHER!”
“Usagi, you dumbass. I'm not drunk, at least not yet, but some crazed woman is robbing this store and holding my mom hostage!”
“Fuck it! I'm gonna save your mom!”
“YOU'RE GONNA GET FUCKING MERKED!”
Usagi casually walked in and stared at the robber.
“Are you a drug addict?”
“Yes actually, I only joined the Dark National Tax Agency to pay for more drugs!”
“The what? You know what fuck it! Moon Prism Power, Make Up!” Usagi turned rainbow.
“HOLY SHIT! MY EYES, THEY'RE ON FIRE!”
The 14 year old gained new clothes, weird hair piece things, and a tiara.
“What the fuck has happened to me?”
“You did it! You've successfully become Sailor Moon!” Luna said, who was now randomly next to Usagi.
“Sailor what?”
“I'll explain it to you later, right now keep fighting!”
“AHHHHHH, I DON'T NEED EYES TO KILL YOU! ALL I NEED IS THE ABILITY TO SMELL, AND YOU SMELL LIKE A GIRL WHO HAS COMMITED TAX FRAUD BEFORE.” Morga rushed at Sailor Moon. “I WAS ONLY ROBBING THIS BANK TO LURE YOU HERE!”
“Quick! Take your tiara off and say Moon Boomerang Tiara!”
Usagi took her tiara off, said “Moon Boomerang Tiara!”, and then threw it at the drug addict cutting her head off.
“No need to fear, Tuxedo Mask is here!" Tuxedo Mask looked around. "Seems like the threat was already neutralized before I could get here.”
“Mamoru, Is that you?”
“Mamowho? I do not know of anyone named Mamoru Chiba, and I am most certainly not him.” Tuxedo Mask jumped out of the window. “BYE NOW!”
“What a strange man.”