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shadows of light

Summary:

23-year-old Alina and 25-year-old Aleksander hate their guts, but what will happen once they are forced to fake date for a night?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: i.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Alina let out a breath once the lesson finished. History of Art was the most boring class: an endless talk about columns, chapels and mythology. It would’ve been way more interesting, if only the teacher just cared about what he was saying.

As she was leaving, somebody caught her arm. Fedyor, probably the nicest person in the whole university, smiled at her. "How are you, Alina?"

They had met on the first day of uni: she was too confused about classes, materials and exams and he was kind enough to explain to her how everything worked. After that, he’d invited her to hang out with his group of friends, who were a couple of years older than her but decent enough not to treat her as a child, and they’d had so much fun that they still invited Alina once in a while.

"Now that the lesson is over, much better." She shook her head. "What a way to end the week, right?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Have you got plans for the weekend?"

"No, not really. I think I’ll get some rest." As she said it, she imagined herself in her dorm room with its twinkle lights and the candles burning, comfort-watching an episode of Modern Family. She found well-spent alone time recharging, and she couldn't picture herself eager to hang out with people after spending 30 hours a week surrounded by her weird Art colleagues. She considered herself a rare exception from her snobbish classmates, always ready to party, smoke and ignore everybody they didn't like.

"Well then, I have just the right thing for you.” He yanked her out of the building, grinning like somebody just told the funniest joke on Earth, "you won’t say no."

They reached a bench, and only a few meters away she recognized the two people sitting: one was Ivan, Fedyor’s boyfriend. Alina couldn’t decide whether she liked him or not. He seemed an okay guy when he talked to her, but his acquaintances made her wish Fedyor would find someone better than him. One of the aforementioned acquaintances, Aleksander Morozova, was the other person waiting for her and sighed as he saw her. He lighted up a cigarette, like she was trouble and needed the stress relief. They knew each other, since they had friends in common, but despised their guts.

He was a Business major and Alina couldn’t stand his self-centeredness, his pride and the half-grin he always had when he looked at her like he was looking at something funny. As far as it regarded Aleksander, he hated Alina just for fun. Or at least that’s what she thought.

Alina looked at Fedyor. "Whatever it is, I’m saying no."

"You haven’t even heard what it’s about!" Ivan laughed.

"If it involves him, I’m not doing it." She wasn’t even trying to hide it, everybody knew that if they were to be left in a room alone, only one of them would’ve come out alive.

Fedyor talked, not paying any attention to her friend’s protests. "We need to help a friend." He patted Aleksander's shoulder. He didn’t seem particularly into the plan. "Yeah, he’s not your friend but he’s mine, and a friend of a friend is a friend, so you’re stuck with him. Our genius Aleks made up an amazing girlfriend every time he talked to his mom, so now that his family is in town, they are not asking to meet her, they demand it. And we know just one person who could fit in the description," he smirked.

Alina was outraged with the whole proposal. She turned to Aleksander, “no fucking way. You’re an asshole, you lie to your family, don’t even bother to ask for a favor - you let Fedyor do it - and expect me to say yes? Did all the girls you fucked and dumped say no to this recital?"

He seemed to think about it for a couple of seconds before saying, "I don’t want to do it either, Starkov. It was not my idea and I think it’s stupid."

"Finally we agree on something." She took off, but once again Fedyor stopped her.

"Now he’s being an asshole. He doesn’t want you to know that he can’t tell the truth now because it’s too late and his grandpa is really old, he just wants to see his grandson finally settled." She didn’t seem too convinced. "Did I mention he’s really old? Like sick, but not too sick?"

"Besides," Ivan added, "his family is super nice, nothing like him. And their food is so good! You’ll have a lot of fun, you’ll just have to pretend to like him."

"I’m not sure I can manage that." She snorted. "Is it all true?," she asked Alesander.

He just nodded.

She couldn’t believe she was being convinced out of pity for one of the most entitled pricks in the university. But the thought of a family, somebody who cooked for you and was eager to know your significant other, made her ache with wanting. She was alone, without a proper family, and nobody of her relatives ever as much called her, let alone visiting. She could pretend for one night to be part of something. Besides, she had something in return to ask for.

"Fine, I’ll do it," she saw Aleksander’s gaze on her, "but I want something in return, Morozova."

"Name it, Starkov." She noticed only then that he was shaking his leg.

"Say ‘please’." A smile tugged at the end of her lips.

He took a last drag on the cigarette, then he launched it with a flick of his finger. "Please." He looked like he had just swallowed a firebrand.

"Good. And don’t smoke, I like my boys as good as they can be."

 

 

Aleksander pulled off at the dorm entrance and texted her that he was waiting outside. Above that, he could read the brief exchange of text they had that afternoon:

5.14 pm I’ll pick you up at 07.30 pm

5.17 pm ok

Why had she agreed? She had every right to hate him, since he tried to be his worst self – which wasn’t difficult – when she was around. He had tried to insult her, objectify her and diminish her, among all things. Everything to get push her away and get her out of his mind, to forget the sound of her laugh, that made him want to bottle it up so that he could hear it later; and the way she lighted up the room each time she smiled, obviously not at him. Actually, he considered, today she had smiled at him. It had seemed like a wicked grin, and it surely was something out of spite, not a real smile, but he would have settled for that. Anything just to have a bit of her attention.

He wasn’t even sure why he had agreed and not called the thing off. He couldn’t stand the fact that he had to pretend, to fake what he would have done freely, to put himself in the pain of seeing how things could have gone if he had been just a little less idiot. But, then again, he would have been fine even with the longest torture, just to trick himself into thinking this pretend was something more.

Just when he started to worry this was all a prank Alina had set for him, he saw her walking towards the car.

Aleksander let out a breath. Her straight hair fell down her back, which was covered by a black velvet dress. She left her septum at home and had gone for what people would have called natural make-up if it wasn’t for the deep red lipstick, that made Aleksander gasp. Oh, the things he would have done to those lips.

He was struck with the view of her thighs slightly bared by her inclination as she got in the car, and he had to get a hold of himself. He cleared his throat and managed a plain 'hi.'

"Hello, Aleksander." They fell into an awkward silence, so he turned on the radio because it was either that or something that would have turned him from mean to pathetic.

After a couple of turns to a road that led out of town, Alina asked "where are we going?" She tried to sound relaxed, but he could feel her tension. She wasn’t used to rides with strangers at night.

"We’re going to my grandparent’s house. It’s a bit far from uni, that’s why I stay in the dorm instead of their place, but I have a room there too. You’ll see it." Realizing this must have been no proof he wasn’t actually trying to kill her, he reassured her, gesturing towards the car screen, "look, it’s here. You can send the address to somebody if that makes you feel safer."

"I already told my friends where I’m going, so you’ll be the first to be questioned if I go missing." A lie, since she hadn’t found the courage to tell anybody she had agreed to this stupid thing just to be included in something and maybe, just maybe, see a different part of the guy who was the bane of her existence. Or at least she hoped he was any different with his family.

"Well, I’ll have to get creative with an alibi then," he shrugged.

"One more idiotic joke and I’ll turn tonight into your worst nightmare, Morozova, I’ll have a lot of fun doing it." He bit the inner part of his cheek not to talk back and wondered whether this exchange excited him or made him nervous. "So," she kept going on as she deliberately changed the radio stations, "is there something essential your girlfriend should know, besides how to be as pretentious as you all the time?"

He ignored her comment since he was in no position to tease her. "Well, I play the piano, I’ve always had cats, and now we have the Darkling at my grandparents’. I called him that because he’s stealthy and always looks like he’s planning your murder." He thought about it for a second. "I love chocolate, have Russian origins and, last but not least, I don’t smoke."

She twisted her mouth. "Will you ever stop lying to your parents?"

"No. Also, my father died when I was ten."

"I’m sorry about that." She meant it, since she had lost both her parents and knew the feeling, but it cost her. She now thought of the dinner as a mistake: she wanted to forget the funny name he gave his cat and the fact that they shared something so deep. She wanted to erase the human part of him from her mind, because it made it difficult to just hate him.

"Don’t worry, Fedyor told me you went through the same twice," he trailed off. The thought of him and Fedyor talking about her had her stomach in knots. "What about what I should know about my girlfriend, other than not attending parties and having fun?"

"If you call parties whatever it is that you attend to, then not going is the only way to have fun. Or wake up without puke all over your room." She knew his parties were the wildest and didn’t attend them because of it, other than the fact he had never personally invited her, but just let her in since she was with Fedyor. "I like drawing, puzzles and cooking. I have Russian origins too, as you can imagine, and I’m a very selective person, so this is one of the reasons why you should worship me for being your girlfriend."

God, he could do that. "Well, not you you, just-" the words died in her mouth as the car entered a driveway to the most beautiful villa she had ever seen. The garden was full of blossoming flowers and spotlights that light up the house so that she could admire it in its splendor. The three floors, the classical style, and the huge windows made her think she was in a fairytale.

He parked after grunting about his aunt’s car taking his spot and they quickly walked to the door. They both wanted it to be over, so it had to start quickly.

A middle-aged woman with grey hair and an unmistakable resemblance to Aleksander opened the door and hugged him. "Oh, my boy," she held him tight, "you’ve grown so much." She got out of the hug to see her guest. "You must be Alina," she exclaimed, and Alina wondered if he called her mother to tell Alina’s name earlier in the afternoon. "Aleksander wanted to keep you all to himself!" She hugged her too, and the gesture seemed genuine: she was trying to welcome her into her family house.

She introduced herself as Baghra as they entered and Alina was not surprised to see how the exterior of the villa matched the interior. Beautiful pieces of art hung on the walls; the main room was styled with antiques and she saw at least 10 people chatting by a fire. She felt overwhelmed by the people turning around all at once and getting up to greet her.

"Did I mention, Starkov, that we’re a big crowd?," Aleksander whispered behind her. He was trying to hinder her, but she had been a people pleaser her whole life, she could bear a night of people eager to like and be liked by her. Or at least, that’s what it seemed. So she gave him her best smile and put a hand on his arm, "stop it, Sasha!" That must have surprised him, because she saw a quick change in his gaze. He then acted as if nothing happened and ventured to talk to his relatives.

She was overwhelmed by the aunts, cousins, uncles and grandparents. Everyone was delighted with the fact that Aleksander had finally brought a girl home, and she was so smart, so sweet and so pretty. But after the initial excitement, everybody got back to their conversation, and Alina found herself at the corner of the room, her only companion the Darkling who purred at her.

She grabbed the cat and started petting him, making silly voices. "Oh, look at you! Sasha thinks you’re so bad, but you just want to be loved, don’t you?"

"I never said he’s bad, Starkov." Aleksander was now next to her, with his usual grin. She wanted to punch him to make him stop.

"So that’s the murderous bastard," Alina acknowledged, pretending he hadn’t just walked on her.

"Just give him a couple of minutes, then you and your hands full of scratches will see."

"I bet you would like that, you idiot."

"Why don’t you keep calling me Sasha? I like it better, it shows the fact that you’re madly in love with me. But I can’t blame you for that, can I?"

She felt blushing despite herself. "You forget too soon that I’m the one who has the upper hand here," she chided.

Before he could answer, Baghra interrupted them. "Alina, there’s one last person you need to meet!" She looked at Aleksander, "Malyen’s here."

"God no, she’s not meeting him," but Baghra already led Alina to a group of people and Aleksander could do nothing but follow them.

He hated his cousin. Everything in him, from his deoxygenated hair to his streetwear screamed ‘entitled idiot’, and he seemed to have his way with girls, or with anything he wanted, actually. But he was family, so all he could do was insult him subtly every time they met, which luckily wasn’t often. Too bad he was so dumb he didn’t even consider Aleksander’s insults as such.

But as Mal introduced himself, he recognized the spark in Alina’s eyes. Of course she had to be charmed by him, two idiots like that could just complete each other. He was asking her how old she was, joking that he now thought this fantastic girl was just a ghost, and too bad she’s with him, she’s wasted for a guy like that. But they were just jokes, Mal would have argued, Sasha would have nothing to be mad at. He just had to sit there and hope for an excuse to bring her away from him, so he was so happy once the aunts ushed everybody to sit, since it was time to eat.

Luck definitely wasn’t on his side tonight, since Mal and Alina ended up seated in front of each other. He knew it would’ve been a long supper, so they had all the time in the world to flirt.

The first meal was soup, and after they finished eating it - Mal couldn’t hit on her while eating – and Alina had complimented the food for the hundredth time, Baghra shushed Mal before he could talk to her again. He was so glad his mother was here. "Enough, boy, you’re monopolizing her," she said that with a smile but everybody knew she meant it. She was a Morozova too, she knew how to subtly send somebody off. “So, I reckon you have Russian origins."

"Yes, ma’am, my father was Russian. I lived there for the first years, but sadly there’s not much of it I remember."

"Oh dear, that’s a shame. Next time we’re going to Russia, you’re coming with us. It’ll be good for you to connect with your origins and spend some more time together."

She laughed nervously. "I’d be delighted."

Aleksander intruded. "Stop it, mom. Don’t pressure her," and he finished the last of his glass of wine.

"Oh, nonsense. You’ve kept her far away from us for too long, we have catching up to do! For example, there’s this picture of him when he was little, I have it in my wallet, wait…" Aleksander rolled his eyes and bolted towards his mother, who put him in line by slapping his hand.

"Prekrati, mama," Aleksander hissed.

"C’mon, you’re so beautiful now, what’s the problem in showing how beautiful you were at five?" She grabbed the wallet in her purse, which was on the ground beside her, and handed Alina a photo.

Baghra was right, he was a very beautiful child. The picture retracted a young Aleksander dressed as a reindeer, probably for Christmas or Halloween, with a chocolate tablet in his hands and the proof he’d been eating some of it on his face.

Alina squeezed Aleksander’s arm and flinched when she felt his muscles contract. "You were so cute, Sasha, why would you ever hide something like that?" Then she gave Baghra a seraphic smile. "Can I take a picture of it? He’s just so cute with chocolate smeared all over his face."

Baghra accepted and Alina took the picture, then winked at Aleksander.

This was all too much for him. He was driving her insane with all her fake flirting. It pushed something both guttural and gentle out of him. He wanted to talk back, to mock her, because that’s what she was doing with him. But he also wanted to show her thousands of photos like the one she photographed, wanted to hear her say how beautiful, small, and funny he was. Because he could be all that and she had to know it.

He had to let everything out. "Mom, we’ve been terrible hosts to Alina." Both she and his mother frowned. "We haven’t shown her around the house. Alina studies Art at uni, she’d love to see everything we have here."

"Of course, Alina," Baghra was mortified, as if she just noticed she hadn’t given her a plate and everybody ate but her. "Come on, dear, I’ll show you," she said while getting up.

"No, mom, I’ll take care of it. Let’s go, love." He held out his arm and she grabbed it, and they walked to the first floor without speaking.

The second they were out of sight, he almost shouted, "what do you think you’re doing?"

"What do you mean, Sasha?" She licked her lips and gave him an innocent look. He had to make the most out of his rage before she charmed him out of it with her big brown eyes.

"This isn’t a party, you don’t have to enjoy yourself, you need to do me a favor."

"Which is what I’m doing. I don’t know your family, but they seem to like me, or at least they don’t seem to hate me…"

"Fine, that’s true." He clenched his fists to stay focused. "But stop flirting with Mal! Do you think I haven’t noticed it?"

"No, but it’s not my problem. I was just being kind with him, it’s not my fault he’s a damn psycho who’s trying to steal his cousin’s girlfriend right under his nose."

He had no words for that. She was being nice, he kept talking to her and she answered politely, but always briefly. She didn’t like his attention. Not even he could hold her accountable for something like that.

"Okay, I hate to say it but you’re right. He’s earned a punch. God, I wanna hit him so badly, the last time was in second grade. Too much time has passed."

"And what happened?"

"I don’t know what we fought for; all I remember is our mothers separating us."

"And they punished you?"

"Yes, but my mom said it was only because I didn’t get away with it, and needed to improve." Was he talking about the same woman who hugged her and talked about visiting Russia together?

"Okay, fine. We need to be normal and not give them doubts." Alina started walking towards the stairs, but he grabbed her wrist.

"No, you delete that photo if you want to make it downstairs."

She grinned. "It’s never gonna happen. I have a picture of you smiling in a reindeer costume, not to mention the chocolate. I’ll protect it with my life." 

He was so angry he had to focus on his breathing. "Come on, Sasha-"

"Don’t call me that."

She faked surprise and raised a hand to her chest. "How should I call my handsome boyfriend? Saha, honey, lyubov-"

Aleksander lost it. He pressed his lips against hers, before opening his mouth and trailing his tongue inside her. She felt the urge in the kiss, not sure if it was his or hers. Right now, with their body so close and their hands wandering, she couldn’t tell where one finished and the other began. There was nothing shy about the way he touched her. His touch was firm, greedy, he wanted to claim her body like his and she would have let him. They could have hated each other any other day, but she was tired of the pretense - which part of it was fake? - and the way he held her made her feel this was what they were supposed to do all the time instead of spitting venom to each other.

He held her and she circled her legs against his hips. His hands were now on her thighs and she felt the bulge in his pants, hard against her. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

"You don’t know how I want this," he moaned and squeezed her.

"Oh, I know," she bit his lower lip, "not only I feel your boner, but I’ve also been wanting this."

His grip weakened as he opened a door and turned the light on. She registered being laid down on a bed, and soon a pile of clothes formed on the parquet. Once they were both naked, they stared at each other for a second. It felt too little for Aleksander, who wanted to explore every detail of her with his eyes and his body, wanted to feel the sculpture come to life before him. She probably felt the same thing, because he noticed on her face the same look of devotion he had.

Alina was the one to move first: she left a trail of kisses on his jaw, his collarbone, his stomach, and then to his groin.

She gently grabbed him and he moaned; but before she could suck him, she looked up at him and whispered, "say 'please'."

A trembling laugh left him. "Not again, Alina. I think once is enough."

She let go only because it was the first time she heard him say her name with such passion, and a mote of desire came through her. "I’ll make you say it tonight."

"What are we betting?"

"You choose it."

A light flickered in his eyes. "A date. If I win, we’ll have a proper date. And you won’t wear panties to it"

She shook her head in disapproval but agreed. "Fine, If I win, we have a proper date and a whole album of you as a kid." She wasn’t asking for sweet and funny pictures of him, but rather something to hold against him. She wanted to tease him into being nice and cute.

"Deal."

"Deal." She giggled, "you could have asked me to delete the picture instead." He wasn’t so sure he preferred it to the other option.

She didn’t wait for a response and started giving him the best blowjob he had ever had. She was sloppy, the way he reached for the end and the sound she made when she couldn’t take it anymore, when he was too big for her and she gagged over him, drove him nuts. Just as he felt about to be overwhelmed with pleasure, she stopped.

"Asshole," he muttered between shaky breaths. He didn't want to be any more compromised by her.

"Say it." She was too pleased with herself to hide it. "You’ll get to come in my mouth, or my face, my boobs, whatever you like." To make the offer more pleasing, she spread her legs even wider.

At that, he decided he didn’t care anymore. She already had him wrapped around her fingers, leaking with pre-load. The word would have made little difference compared to his state right now.

"Please," he said it so softly she didn’t almost hear him.

"Question is, is this how you want to finish?"

"No," he shook his head too frantically, "I want to be inside you."

She chuckled. "That’s what I thought."

He felt strong all at once. He stood up and laid her on the bed again. She automatically spread her legs for him, and he couldn’t resist the view of her cunt, so wet just for him.

"We need to break you in, Alina." He licked it for the whole length, and she couldn’t suppress a moan.

He slightly lifted his head to her, to see how she was desperate after the minimum touch. "Be silent, Alina, I’m giving you a tour of the house."

She nodded and headed to her nub, tilting it with his tongue. She gripped his hair with one hand, and the sheets with the other one. He tasted her juices and added a finger inside her, slowly sliding in and out. That was enough to make her scream, but she bit her lip from preventing it.

"So tight for me," he chided, "how will you take me?"

But as he said that, he added a second finger and she couldn’t hold it any longer. "Please," she tried to whisper, "I want you."

He grinned, and she added, gathering all the strength she had left not to stutter, "I’m not ashamed of saying ‘please’ or look defied when I know I am. I’m just glad I’m not the only one like that today."

He left her, started looking for something in a drawer, and came back with a condom. He wore it and placed himself at her slick entrance; he wanted to taste every moment of it. He’d been imagining it for too long.

As he entered, she knew he would have been too big for her, if she wasn’t just so horny. Her whole body ached for him, for the bittersweet sensation he was giving her, pain and pleasure mixed. She grabbed him by his shoulder and closed the distance between them, and as he was thrusting for the second time inside her, so slow it was paining her to wait, she whispered “harder” inside his ear.

He obeyed. She felt he had been slowing down because he didn’t want to hurt her, but she wanted him so much, everything else besides the way she felt perfectly full didn’t matter. She didn’t give a shit about anything, her mind was too full with a single demand, more more more- 

He kept moving to a strong, regular rhythm, whispering "beautiful" and "my Alina" looking at her.

"So good for me," he shook his head and placed his thumb on her clit, "I want to give you a reward for having the perfect pussy for me." He started circling it, and her legs started trembling. Her body was not physically able to take what her mind wanted so much.

She came breathing in heavily, holding to the waves of pleasure that rolled into her, that he was so kind to give her. She let her body relax as she felt his thrusts sloppier, his face contrived with desire, and knew he spectacularly came by looking at his beautiful face.

He laid down next to her, just a few moments before cleaning himself, and started getting dressed again. "We need to go downstairs right now, or else they’ll get suspicious."

She realized only now she was in his bedroom. She always thought that a person’s bedroom was one of the most private aspects of one’s life; she found herself snooping through his bookshelf and admiring photos of a 17-year-old Aleksander having dinner with friends, playing curved on the piano, at the beach with his mother and smiling with the Kremlin behind them.

She couldn’t help but imagine herself in one of these pictures, but quickly dismissed the thought and prepared herself, and once they were both ready, he held out his arm to her again and she took it. He looked too pleased with himself.

"I don’t think you’ll laugh once I have your photo album, Sasha. You should fetch it now." She was hiding with confidence the thought of what they just did, and the fact that they had agreed to a date. Oh, how the tables had turned.

"Or what? You’ll tell everybody that you hated me and we faked being together, right before you came on my cock? I don’t think so, Alina."

"Shut up, or I’ll cancel our date."

"You already like me too much for that." As they descended the stairs, she wished she had a smart answer for that, but she was shocked that it didn’t trouble her he was right.

Notes:

prekrati, mama - stop it, mom
lyubov - love
-
I had so much fun writing this, it's probably a bit too long but i wanted to keep every detail in!
I live on comments, kudos, bookmars... anything, really! So please let me know what you think about it!

P.S. I’m about to add another chapter because they keep living in my head rent free, so stay tuned!