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Giving In

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Melissa might have been the first girl I ever loved. She was kind to me, even though she knew what I was. She knew what I and my kind did. And yet, she helped me and nursed me back to health. And what did I give her in return? Well, I’m here now, and as you can see, she isn’t.

There was a time I thought maybe I could spend my life with her. Isn’t there some kind of phenomenon where you fall in love with the person who nursed you back to health, and vice versa? I thought that was the kind of situation we were in. I was alone and starving and on the brink of death. And then - I saw an angel. She took me to her village and fed me, brought me back to life. She wasn’t ever scared of me. Even you were scared of me at first, weren’t you?

I’m a wolf and a diseased wolf at that. I deserve to be left behind and forsaken. I doubly deserve it for what I did to the first girl I ever loved.
You know what this disease does to a wolf, right? You’ve seen it firsthand. So I don't need to tell you what eventually happened.
Melissa was so beautiful. I told you she looked like an angel the first time I saw her. Her kindness was overwhelming at times. Why did she do all that for me? Did she love me too? It might have made me happy in the past to know she did. Now, I don't really care. It doesn't matter anymore.

I killed her. You know that. The whole world knows that. I killed her and drank her blood like the crazed diseased wolf that I am. And then I ran like a coward.
And when I met you, I thought you were just another girl. No one could compare to Melissa, and I couldn't stop thinking about the way she died. After that I swore I would never drink human blood again even if it killed me. At the very least I wouldn't drink yours since I couldn't be less interested in you. After spending this time with you and seeing you fight to live….Fiona, it’s coming back again.

I can’t stop thinking about all the times we spent together. Alone, watching the stars. Taking care of you when you were too weak to do it yourself. I tried not to think about her in those moments, but at the same time, I wanted to do what she would do. She was such a better person than I am. She will always be a better person than I am.

Fiona, we’re going to war. I can’t have you caught up in it. I can’t have you die, not before - well, I’ll rest easier knowing you died by my hand rather than anyone else’s.
Your blood will taste so sweet. Just as sweet as hers. Goodbye, Fiona, not my first love, but certainly my last.