Got an Acronym for You
"Hey, so glad to see you again!" Sakura greeted her cheerfully, arriving at the table with a cocktail in her hand. Her soft pink dress had subtle glittering butterflies stitched onto its bodice.
"It's nice to see you too," Tenten smiled. "Ino said you've become a doctor?"
The pink haired woman pouted, throwing her best friend an exasperated glance. "You couldn't even give me the chance to tell people that myself?"
"You should have arrived here quicker, Billboard Brow," Ino teased her. The blonde woman was dressed in a sleek, long, midnight blue dress with a subtle cleavage. Her wrists were adorned with several bracelets which made noise every time she moved her hands and a purple flower kept her sideswept bangs clipped to the side.
"We can't all have regular hours," Sakura snarked back, but her words lacked heat. She looked around curiously, surveying the large room. "Will everybody of our class show up?"
"They normally should," Tenten confirmed, adjusting the strap of her black tank top. "They all confirmed they would at least."
It was the ten year reunion of their class. She and Kiba had organised it, figuring it would be a nice way to get in touch with everyone again. After their graduation, they had spread out across the country for their studies and news about each other only trickled through sporadically. Not everyone had chosen to keep living in their town either, which made it even more difficult to keep track of everyone.
Considering it was now officially ten years since they had graduated secondary school, Tenten had thought it would be a nice idea to try to get everyone together again so they could catch up with each other. Kiba was one of the few who had chosen to keep living in their town, just like she had, and so it had been easy to contact him and hear what he thought about the idea. Naturally he had been enthusiastic immediately, always having been one for a good party.
With his help she had eventually managed to track everyone down and sent them invitations to the reunion. Well, not everyone had personally received theirs; in some cases she actually had had to contact their parents because she couldn't find their new address, like Naruto for example. He had moved out of town years ago, but fortunately his parents had remained here, so Tenten had simply given the invitation to them, asking whether they could pass it on to her former classmate. She wondered whether they had done so and if yes, whether Naruto would show up.
A loud, shocked gasp tore her out of her musings and she startled, staring at Sakura, who was smacking her hand urgently on the table. "You okay?" Tenten asked concerned, wondering if the other woman was already getting a bit too tipsy.
"Sasuke-kun is here!" Sakura retorted, just shy of actually squealing. "I can't believe he showed up! I thought for sure that he wouldn't – is that a baby?" she asked blankly, all her previous excitement evaporating instantly.
Tenten followed her gaze and her eyebrows rose up in surprise when she realised that, yes, Uchiha was here too, carrying a baby in a sling against his chest. He was dressed in a sharp, dark blue suit against which the sling stood out rather starkly. His hair was somewhat longer now, still spiked up in the back, but his bangs were now sideswept, covering his left eye for the most part. His shoulders had become broader too and he still had the same sharp handsome features he had had in secondary school. He was talking with Shikamaru, who looked completely unbothered by the baby staring back at him.
"That is indeed a baby," Ino confirmed, clucking her tongue before she sighed. "Well, not a surprise that he got snatched up. It's been ten years."
"Not going to lie, I'm fucking jealous right now," Sakura grumbled, her eyebrows pinched together. "I want to know who managed to snatch him up. He's never shown interest in anyone at school back then."
Which was true, Tenten reflected. Uchiha had been considered the most handsome guy in school, having even gathered several fan clubs, but he'd never shown interest in anyone, no matter how hard some of the girls had tried to attract his attention. In spite of his popularity he had never grown arrogant, which was something she appreciated.
She was surprised to see him here with a baby, but perhaps he hadn't been able to find a babysitter? Or his partner was unavailable? At least he was here; it was nice of him to show up, because from what she could remember he'd never really been the social type.
"True, but you got to admit: even now he looks smoking hot," Ino smirked and waved her hand at herself. "He's truly the epitome of a DILF now."
"Who's a DILF?" a man's voice piped up cheerfully. "Come on, I'd like to know!"
Tenten turned her head, smiling when she saw Naruto striding over their table. She had got along well enough with him during school, even though they had never been close friends. Somehow he and Uchiha had ended up being best friends; a fact nobody in their class – or school even – had been able to figure out, because the two men couldn't be anymore different if they had tried. Somehow they had hit it off from the very first moment they had met, though, and they had been basically attached to the hip, even being selected for the same football team.
He should know who Uchiha's partner was, right? They were best friends, after all, there was no way he wouldn't know. Unless they had had a fallen out in the years after secondary school, but Tenten was relatively certain that news like that would have travelled fast. Even years after graduation, Uchiha was still a hot topic in the town after all. Especially because instead of following his father's and brother's footsteps and set foot in the business world himself, he had instead studied to become a surgeon.
Considering how smart he was, that didn't really surprise Tenten. She would have never guessed he would become a surgeon, but well, she had also thought Ino would have gone for that modelling career and instead she had chosen to take over her father's flower shop.
"Sasuke-kun, of course," Sakura piped up and nodded at the man in question, twirling a lock of her pink hair around her finger. "Maybe he's separated?" she continued hopefully and squinted her eyes. "I don't think he's wearing a ring."
"That's a bit fucked up to hope he's separated," Tenten couldn't help but remark, because hell, there was a kid involved.
"Oh no, he's definitely taken, all right," Naruto said, grinning, and crossed his arms behind his head. Ten years obviously hadn't diminished his love for orange, because he wore an orange shirt and dark blue jeans.
"So you kept in contact with each other?" Ino questioned interestedly. "Good, who's the lucky woman?"
"Well, I don't think you can call me a woman because I lack boobs and I got a dick, so the lucky man in this case is me!" he announced with an almost blinding grin. "And obviously the baby's mine too, so sorry, ladies, but that DILF is mine."
"Sasuke-kun is gay?" Sakura spluttered, looking torn between being outraged and just outright fainting.
Tenten wasn't exactly sure which one she definitely did not want to happen. Her fainting wouldn't be fun to deal with, but her kicking up a huge fuss would be even less fun.
Never mind that, however, Uchiha was gay? She chanced another quick look at the dark haired man. While Naruto had outed himself as gay since he was fifteen – which must not have been easy considering he'd been considered one of the star players in their football team and a lot of people still held the ridiculous assumption that sporters couldn't be anything but straight – Uchiha had never shown any inkling towards either sex. A lot of people including Tenten – not his fangirls, however – had just figured that Uchiha was simply not interested in romance at all.
"He never really specified what he is, but he married me, so," Naruto replied, tongue in cheek, and waggled his fingers at them, showing off a glistening golden ring.
"How did that happen?" Tenten asked bemused.
"Ehehehe," he laughed a tad embarrassed as he scratched the back of his head, "honestly, there's not much to it. I'd been crushing really hard on him for quite a while and after our graduation, I just decided fuck it, went up to him and confessed and then kissed him. I figured that if he was going to reject me, I at least could lick my wounds in peace considering we were going to attend different universities." He shrugged, a bit blasé now. "You know, last chance and all that. I thought I should at least get that off my chest before it was too late. I guess the spiked punch at that party did help me out a little bit too."
"And he just agreed to date you?" Ino asked amazed.
Tenten couldn't blame her. For years girls, and even boys, had tried to date Uchiha and one after the other they had all been rejected; some more ruthlessly than others depending on the tactic they had tried. Even the girls in their class hadn't escaped his more ruthless rejections – like a certain pink haired doctor.
Sakura was currently frozen, mouthing something soundlessly to herself and didn't seem to be paying attention to them anymore.
"Well, his exact words before he kissed me back were, - "
"About time, Uzumaki, why did it take you this long, usuratonkachi?" Uchiha appeared out of nowhere, an irritated look on his face, making them jump.
Naruto pointed at him in accusation. "That was exactly what he told me back then as well after I kissed him! And really, bastard, you fought so much about me taking on your name and now you're calling me Uzumaki? What's up with that, huh?"
Uchiha scowled at him and handed over their baby to him. "That's because you made me wait for over an hour tonight, damn it."
Even as their baby mewled and rested a tiny balled fist on Naruto's chest, the blond man kept arguing. "Well, for one thing, that's because my shift ended later today, as you damn well know! And secondly, I had to go back to your locker at the hospital because guess who forgot his wedding ring, hm?" He raised an eyebrow.
Uchiha glanced down at his hand as if only now just realising he wasn't wearing his ring and cursed softly. "How did you know?"
"Tsunade-baa-chan saw you on your way out. She tried to warn you, but she was called away," Naruto explained and huffed, even as he gently rocked their baby in his arms. "So I went all the way back to the lockers and got it back for you. A thank you would be appreciated, you know?"
Uchiha rolled his eyes and simply stuck his hand in Naruto's back pocket, grabbing his ring out of it and putting it back on. "The one time you're not the one forgetting something," he muttered.
"Okay, honestly, rude," Naruto scoffed and pecked his mouth quickly.
"You've got a cute kid," Ino said; her voice slightly strangled and her eyes wider than usual.
"I know, he takes after his dad," Naruto said proudly, kissing his son's forehead.
"He's got your eyes," Uchiha pointed out. His voice had remarkably softened by now and the tender look on his face made even Tenten a bit embarrassed and she looked away, feeling like this moment was somehow too intimate even when the two men weren't doing anything explicit.
If there was a prize for surprising people the most at their reunion, however, then Naruto and Uchiha would definitely have won it. No wonder she hadn't been able to track down Naruto! Name changes because of marriage did kind of make it difficult to track people down, of course.
"You know, ten years later and you're still a magnet for women," Naruto chuckled as they made their way back to Sasuke's car.
After his last therapy session with his patient had ended, his colleague and friend, Gaara, had offered to drop him off at the venue as it was on his way home anyways.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow and took his keys out of his pocket. "What are you talking about?"
Naruto paused when Kazue muttered something, but he merely slept on; his face mushed into Naruto's chest. "They were calling you a DILF," he smirked and nudged his husband, careful not to disturb his baby. "You know what that means or should I explain it?"
"Gross," Sasuke replied calmly. "And no, you don't need to explain it. I haven't been living underneath a rock for all these years, Naruto."
The blond man gaped at him. "You actually know what a DILF is?" he asked incredulously, squawking when Sasuke slapped his arse.
"Of course I know it; again, I haven't been living underneath a rock!" Sasuke sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. "You think I can't use the internet?"
"There's a difference between using the internet and actually knowing acronyms," Naruto remarked. "I didn't expect you to know what this particular acronym means, Sasuke, what kind of material have you been reading, hm?"
"You're an idiot and I don't know why I married you," Sasuke stated frankly and opened the door of the car for him.
"Because I've got an amazing butt," Naruto grinned and winked, sitting down without disturbing Kazue at all. It had taken some practice, but he was finally managing to get into a car whilst holding Kazue and not waking him up in the process.
"And I'm the one with an inflated ego," Sasuke muttered and shook his head before closing the door and making his way to the driver's side.
"Maybe I should change your contact name in my phone," Naruto mused when Sasuke sat down behind the wheel. "To DILF, what do you think? Oh, but I guess it should be DIMF actually," he corrected himself cheekily.
"Sure," Sasuke agreed to his surprise. He smirked, "If you want to explain to your mum what the meaning is when I'm calling you."
"You're no fun, do you know that?" Naruto informed him sombrely.
"Funny, that's not what you said last weekend when I - "
Red-faced, Naruto quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, pointing urgently down at their son who was still blissfully asleep in his sling. "Sensitive ears here!"
"Given the family we have, I doubt his ears will remain innocent for long."
Which, fair, Naruto guessed, their family could be quite free with their way of talking compared to other families.
"Mum and dad are really trying, though," he pointed out.
"Yeah, but your grandmother isn't."
"Well, baa-chan is baa-chan," Naruto said airily. "Mum always used to say that baa-chan is a good help when developing vocabulary."
"That's one way of looking at it," Sasuke said flatly. "She's still not allowed to babysit him until he's old enough to hear her type of vocabulary."
"He's going to be a teenager by then." Naruto furrowed his eyebrows. "He won't need a babysitter at that age."
Naruto opened his mouth but paused before saying, "You're going to be the one to tell her she won't be babysitting Kazue."
"You're her grandson!"
"Yes, which is why I'm not stupid enough to tell that to her face," Naruto grinned.
"I can't tell her," Sasuke muttered and tightened his fingers around the steering wheel. "I'm pretty sure she still hates my guts for 'deflowering' her precious grandson."
Naruto wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Don't say it like that, geez. And she doesn't hate your guts."
"She glares at me at least once a day."
"See! That means she really likes you, because she glares at other people more often!" Naruto said triumphantly and then looked inconspicuously behind him, checking the doorway of the building where the reunion was still in full swing. "Now come on, let's go before it really dawns on Sakura-chan that she's got no chance at all with you anymore."
Sasuke snorted. "In that case we won't have to hurry because that'll take a while," he sneered, but nevertheless started the car so that they could have their own, ahem, reunion at home.
Naruto did change Sasuke's contact name to DIMF in his phone. Mum did badger him about that. Being the good son he was, he dutifully ignored the badgering, because some things even his mum didn't need to know.
Kushina did figure out pretty soon what the acronym in her son's phone stood for. She wasn't an idiot, who did Naruto think he had inherited his humour from?
She had way too much fun badgering him about it and seeing him turn red, though, so there was no reason for him to know that he wasn't so sneaky after all.