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i just hope she don't wanna leave me

Chapter 11: only you

Summary:

Ace waits for Nancy to wake up.

Notes:

Warning! There is no talk of suicide in this chapter, but Ace does struggle with the guilt of this situation and his dealings with the Bobbseys. Please be careful if any such topics such as death, depression, guilt, and/or injuries bother or trigger you.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

In the dark room, Ace sat at Nancy’s side. She hadn’t stirred since Park left her on the floor - only her chest gently rising and falling told him that she was still breathing. And with the moonlight streaming through the window, he couldn’t tell if she’d gotten paler or not. 

Ace had taken Nancy’s watch off to help keep track of time, but it was becoming increasingly harder to see. Maybe it was the fading moonlight.

His body told him otherwise.

He didn’t care, though. Ace had to stay awake through the discomfort, for Nancy’s sake more than his own. 

The door opened behind him, and slowly, he turned so as to not pull at his wound. One of Nelson’s men stood there, and Ace had to lean back quickly to avoid getting hit with a bundle of blankets.

“Here. For the girl,” the man muttered, moving to leave.

Ace reached for the blankets. “Her name’s Nancy,” he couldn't help but growl. He lifted his head to look back at the man, who just shrugged and closed the door.

Once enshrouded in the darkness again, Ace slowly untangled the blankets from one another, and used one to gently cover Nancy, tucking it under her to trap her body heat from escaping. He reached to feel her hands, and was disappointed to find that they hadn’t warmed up any.

Grabbing another blanket, he wrapped it around Nancy, tugging it up under her shoulders and hips to make sure no heat could seep into the floors. Helplessly, all he could do now was rub her arm, anything to get more warmth into her. 

Ace swallowed against a wave of nausea, and pressed a hand to his side. He grimaced as it came away stained with blood, but didn’t dare inspect the wound. He didn’t want to see it.

He blamed it on the blood loss. 

Maybe that was where the stars came from. They slowly trickled into his vision, twinkling against the walls, the ceiling, everywhere he looked.

Ace blinked, rubbing his eyes. Maybe he should sleep, too. It sounded so welcoming.

Then, in the dim light, Nancy twitched. Her eyelids shifted, and her fingers bent ever so slightly against her palm. 

Ace froze, and tried to blink the stars away. “Nance?” he whispered.

Nancy took in a breath, her eyes cracking open ever so slightly. “Ace?’ she croaked.

“Hey,” he said softly, leaning forwards. “Hey, it’s me.”

She rolled her eyes to look at him through slits, and managed a small smile. “Ace,” she murmured, but then she let out the breath she’d been holding, and her eyes closed again. Her hand went limp against the floor, and she was still.

Breath hitching, Ace’s hand went to her throat, checking her pulse. Once relieved at the fact her heartbeat still thudded against his fingers, he went to grab her hands, and willed her to wake up again.

“Nancy?” he urged quietly, throat now tight. “Come on, you have to wake up.”

The humming of the heating unit above them was his only response, and carefully, Ace pressed a hand to her ribs to make sure she was still breathing. Her chest rose and fell against his palm, and he breathed another sigh of relief.

“Come on,” he whispered. “You have to keep breathing.” He swallowed. “You can’t leave me. Not until after Carson finds you. And brings you home.”

What about you? Something pulled at his subconscious, and he winced.

I don’t deserve to get out of here. I put her into this mess-they ought to just leave me behind when they come for us.

You know that’s not true, the angel on his shoulder told him. You know who’s to blame for this, and it isn’t you.

“But if I had stopped delivering the messages,” Ace whispered to himself. He trailed off, swallowing. “None of this would have happened if I had just listened to Carson. Or Nancy, for that matter.”

You couldn’t have known that this was going to happen.

Bertram’s a dangerous man. I should have at least suspected something.

So is Park. And he managed to hide under everyone’s noses at the police station. No one knew a thing.

But I could have done better. I could have bargained my life for her release when we first got here.

You know Park has a soft spot for Nancy. Ace couldn’t help but flinch at that, closing his eyes at the anger that flickered inside his chest. He wouldn’t let her out of his sight, not when she’s too valuable to him and his operation.

Ace just rubbed his eyes, his fingers coming away wet with tears. 

I can’t be the reason that I lose her.

Why? The devil on his other shoulder appeared now, crowding his head. She’s put you into far more danger than you’d like to admit. You told her that yourself.

Ace closed his eyes against the wave of memories.

I’m scared. Sometimes you just have to let fear be.

Nancy’s blue eyes stared back at him through the dim light of the locker room.

Just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I wanna lose you.

Something pulled at Ace’s subconscious again. So why? Why is her life more valuable than yours? What does she even mean to you?

Ace lifted his face up to the window, the sickly moonlight pressing against his closed eyes.

She means everything, he realized .

His breath hitched, and against his will, fresh tears began to trace his cheekbone.

There, in that dark room, Ace finally let himself cry.

********

He didn’t know how long it’d been until in the corner of his vision, through the stars, he saw Nancy twitch again. Breath hitching in his throat, Ace looked over to see her hand tighten into a fist. Her brow furrowed as she opened her eyes, and he carefully turned towards her.

“Nance?” he whispered. Quickly, he used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the tears away, and hoped that she wouldn’t see.

Through slits, Nancy looked up at him at the sound of his voice.

“Ace?” she croaked. 

“Hey,” he breathed, moving closer to her. “Are you awake?”

“Maybe,” she said, voice hoarse. Wincing, she squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t know. My head hurts.”

“I know.” Ace carefully reached out a hand to rub her shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry. But we’ll get you some water when you feel up to sitting.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna be hard,” Nancy whispered. She cleared her throat. “I don’t want to move.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to move. You can just sleep if you want to.”

“I thought sleeping with a head wound was bad,” she murmured.

“Only if you’re not being watched. I’m here. I’m not leaving.”

She nodded just a fraction. “Good.” Slowly, she reached out a hand to find Ace’s. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” he tried to joke. Nancy just grimaced.

“What about your side?”

He glanced down at himself, the large blood stain on his shirt turning silver in the moonlight. “The bleeding stopped somewhat,” he told her. “It’s light, but I don’t want to risk moving too much so that it starts up again.” He didn’t dare tell her about how he really felt; they already had enough to worry about.

“That’s probably a good idea.”

They fell silent again, still holding hands. Ace moved to sit back against the wall behind them, still reaching out to grab her hand.

Then Nancy squeezed his hand, and he looked over at her. Her brow furrowed when she saw his face.

“Ace,” she whispered. “What’s wrong? You’re so pale.”

Ace just shrugged. “I think I’m just tired,” he whispered back. “I just don’t feel very good.”

“How?” Nancy moved to pull herself into a sitting position, her discomfort seemingly gone for the moment. Ace shook his head, moving to push her back to the floor. 

“Don’t strain yourself,” he told her, but she just pushed his hands aside. Much to Ace’s disappointment, he was unable to do much to fight back. Finally giving in to the nausea, he relaxed against the wall as Nancy shuffled over on hands and knees to him. Her blankets fell down around her legs as she sat up next to him, breathing heavily.

“Nance,” Ace began, but she just slowly shook her head.

“Let me look at you,” she told him. 

“I’m fine. It’s just blood loss,” he started to say, but winced as Nancy lifted the hem of his shirt up. Blood came away with the fabric, revealing a large, blood-soaked bandage pressed on his side.

Nancy hissed, eyes narrowing as she moved the shirt some more. “Ace, this doesn’t look good.” Carefully, she pressed her fingertips around the bandages, and Ace couldn’t help but let out a groan and grab her hand.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t do that.”

“Ace, you could have internal bleeding,” Nancy said softly. 

He let out a sigh. “I’m guessing it wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

Nancy looked helpless, her hand hovering over his side. “I-I don’t know what to do,” she admitted.

“It’s okay,” Ace murmured. “I guess we’ll just have to hang on until someone finds us.”

“But what if they don’t?” Nancy looked up at him, her voice thickening. “Ace, you could very well bleed out and-”

“Better me than you.” The words escaped his mouth much quicker than Ace would have liked, and he clenched his jaw shut.

Nancy blinked. “Don’t say that. You’re going to get out of here. We both are.”

“Nance, we all know that I’m the one who put us both here,” Ace began. “If anyone deserves to-”

Nancy reached to grab his jaw and turn his face towards hers. His bleary eyes met her own gaze. “No one deserves to die here,” she hissed. “And you are not the reason we’re in this mess. This is all-” Her voice caught. “-This was all Nelson. If anyone deserves a punishment for this, it’s him. Not you.”

“I got you injured,” Ace whispered.

Nancy pressed her forehead to his. “No,” she murmured. “You could never hurt me.”

Ace closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” She reached up to cup his cheek. “But we’re going to get out of this.”

Seeing no point in arguing with her, Ace just nodded. He opened his eyes to look into hers.

Stars danced in her blue irises, and he blinked.

Nancy grabbed the blankets wrapped around her legs, and shifted closer to Ace to share it between the two of them. “Here,” she murmured. “We have to stay warm.”

Ace lifted an arm for her to curl into his side, and carefully avoiding his wound, Nancy rested her head against the crook of his neck.

“Is your headache better?” Ace asked her, and she shook her head.

“Not really.” She took in a breath. “Still pretty bad.” 

“You’re not gonna pass out on me again, are you?”

She let out a sigh. “Let’s hope not. Sorry about that.”

“That’s alright. But don’t scare me like that again.”

“I’ll try,” she said. “Maybe I’ll give you a five-second warning.”

“That’d be nice of you,” he murmured, leaning his head back.

There, in the darkness, the two of them sat there against the wall. Nancy’s labored breathing began to match with Ace’s, and soon, her grip on his hand loosened.

It took a moment for Ace to realize, and looked down at her. “Nance,” he urged, “you okay?”

Nancy took in a shallow breath. “I think I might fall asleep again.”

“You can fall asleep,” Ace told her softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“What about you?” Nancy struggled to say. Ace ran a hand up and down her arm.

“I’ll be okay,” he answered. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Please don’t leave me” were the last words Nancy said before she slumped against his shoulder, unconscious again.

Weakly, Ace leaned his head against the wall again. His limbs felt like they were made of lead, and all he could do was shove down the panic rising in his chest.

She’s just sleeping, he willed. 

You’re lying to yourself, the devil on his shoulder whispered.

The stars began to twinkle again.

Notes:

Please note that I am not a medical professional, and that what I write here may not be completely accurate! I did my best to research symptoms of internal bleeding and concussions, but I apologize if any of it is incorrect.
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Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you for still reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
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Can you tell I just love these two so much?