Chu Shuzhi has been free from his imprisonment for over a month, but the damage still lingers. Hei Pao Shi had healed him right after the rescue, set his broken ligaments and crooked bones and made open wounds into pale scars. But he could do nothing for the long malnutrition, the athrophied muscles, or the mind that flinched from light and movement and spent every night back in his cell, as unable to escape in dreams as he had been in waking life.
But it has been getting better. His lord has other duties and can’t look after Shuzhi all day long, but when he’s there he cooks for him and wakes him up from nightmares, trains him back into shape and heals him when he ignores his limits.
It makes Shuzhi feel just as patethically grateful as the rescue itself. His lord could have just left him to figure this out himself, and Shuzhi would still owe him absolutely everything. But every kindness is a blessing and an honor and he takes them all, and still feels greedy for more. He tries not to let it on, but he can’t always help himself.
Hei Pao Shi is, of course, the most gorgeous and worthy one alive, and it’s just natural that if Shuzhi looks he can’t tear his eyes off him. It’s safer to just keep his eyes down. And he can’t control his dreams, so disespectful and presumptious as those may be, he must simply work to make amends when awake. (He rather prefers those to more nightmares, anyway.) The real problem is that sometimes his --- body forgets what’s only possible in dreams and distracts him while awake.
It’s been so many years since anyone touched him casually, without ill intentions, and his poor confused body can’t help reacting to each accidental brush of fingers like it’s a caress, to each hand on his back or elbow like it’s a hug. That’s on him, and he knows not to read anything into it.
Today is even worse than usual. He’d woken from nightmares – the less said about them the better – in the middle of the night, and only managed to calm down by distracting himself with a hand on his cock, eyes closed and imagining – it doesn’t really matter, it’s not real.
But today they are doing hand-to-hand practice, which has far too much contact for Shuzhi’s piece of mind. He’s is sweaty and bruised and trying in vain to concentrate even through the arousal. He’s making a pitiful show of it. Every touch sends sparks dancing along his nerves, and not of pain. He can’t bring himself to actually use his full strength even though he knows he couldn’t possibly hit his hord, and his instincts insist that he shouldn’t dodge - that if his lord wants to hurt him, he should stand still and take it. He has to constantly remind himself that his lord wants him to improve, that this is training and not personal.
His lord seems to get tired of landing hits very quickly, and instead starts to grapple, always keeping Shuzhi still for just long enough it’s clear he can’t escape, then backing off for a new approach. This is not helping. Shuzhi’s nerves are on fire from where his lord pressed against his back, pinned him down to the ground, breathed an exasparated huff into his ear.
Shuzhi face burns in shame, but he can’t help himself. He’s overwhelmed and out of his league, and as much as he wants to make his lord proud, he also just wants to lay down in the ground and die of mortification.
Shuzhi’s pinned again, this time in a leg lock with his lord’s knee brushing his crotch. He must notice how aroused Shuzhi is, but doesn’t look surprised – it’s not like Shuzhi has been subtle, but he still feels like he wants the ground to swallow him. He closes his eyes in defeat.
His lord chuckles. ”I can practically taste your arousal, Xiao Zhi. Is there anything you want me to do about it?”
Shuzhi’s eyes snap open, and his lord is smiling – smiling and leaning over Shuzhi, making his mind blank out for a moment. His hips try to twitch up, but the hold is secure and he can’t move an inch. He bites back the moan that wants to rise from his throat.
”There’s a power imbalance, here”, his lord says, deep and smooth. Shuzhi shivers. ”I can take whatever I want from you. So you’ll have to ask, or else I won’t do anything.”
”My lord, this inferior one is not worthy-”
”Let me decide that”, his lord says. His cool hand cups Shuzhi’s cheek gently, and Shuzhi presses into it, face burning but needy enough that he can’t help himself.
”This, this servant is in his lord’s service”, Shuzhi says, feeling like all the breath has been knocked out of his lungs.
”I’m afraid I need something a little more spesific than that.”
Shuzhi glances up, but his lord is still smiling, still waiting, and he really would take anything his lord would give him, any pleasure, any pain, but what he’s been most dreaming about, late at night when he can feel the nightmares hover just past the edge of sleep – and he can’t believe he’s going to say this to his lord’s face, but this might be his only chance -
”Will my lord fuck me?”
His lord lifts him into his arms with no effort, and a portal sucks them in before Shuzhi has time to process. It deposits them right next to a bed in a room Shuzhi doesn’t recognize, and his lord lays him down to the bed with care.
Shuzhi freezes, then watches with wide eyes as his lord starts stripping. It’s not like their combat practice has left much to imagination, but still his lord’s body is beautiful enough that Shuzhi feels sacrilegious. But he lets his eyes trace the collarbones and strong arms, the lean hips and firm ass. He wants to burn it all into his memory.
The mask stays on, which is only right, but when his lord turns back to him he is otherwise bare. Shuzhi’s eyes flick over him, then settle on his crotch.
His lord’s cock was just as beutiful as the rest of him, paler than Shuzhi’s and half-hard, right now the perfect size that Shuzhi’s hand would just about fit around it. His lord waits as he stares his fill, licks his suddenly dry lips.
”Do you want a taste?” His lord asks, voice as calm as if he was enquiring about the time. Shuzhi nods, struck mute.
His lord steps up to the bed and crooks a finger. ”Come on, then.”
Shuzhi all but falls to him, leaning forward and licking the cock, then taking it into his mouth and pushing forward, devouring it. His lord grips him by the back of the neck, stops him before he can take it down all the way to his throat.
”Ah, ah, there’s no hurry, A-Zhi. We’ve got all the time in the world.”
Shuzhi moans around the cock, then obeys the hand and backs off a bit, focuses his efforts on sucking the head. Tries to taste every inch of it with his tongue. Goes again as far as that hand lets him, swallows around the cockhead to feel it brushing his throat.
His lord lets out a long, steady breath, and pulls him off. Shuzhi whimpers – he can’t help it. A thumb brushes over his lips, and he tries to mouth at it.
”None of that, A-Zhi. You want me to fuck you, don’t you? Then strip for me.”
Shuzhi blinks in a daze, then scrambles to obey. His eyes keep straying up and down his lord’s body, darting quiltily to his face every once in a while. His lord’s eyes are deep and intense, and Shuzhi feels their gaze on his skin like a brand.
When he’s bare, his lord pushes him to lay on his back and follows after, lifts one of Shuzhi’s legs to his shoulder and sneaks the arm around it to Shuzhi’s cock. The other hand presses his hips down ruthlessly, gives him no chance to affect the pace. Shuzhi throws his head back, hands gripping the sheets, then moans as Lord leans forward and claims his mouth in an open-mouthed kiss.
He loses himself there for a while, in hot, deep kisses that felt like a claim, in gently bitten lips and his cock growing so hard it aches. He doesn’t notice the other hand leaving his hip until a slick finger presses into his ass in one, slow thrust. His gasp is swallowed in a furious kiss, then his lord draws back, smiling.
”Look at you”, he whispers, one hand still moving on Shuzhi’s cock, one finger all the way inside him. ”You’re doing so well, A-Zhi. So good.”
Shuzhi’s eyelids flutter at the praise, and his whole body tenses in pleasure. His lord leans forward and leaves tingling lovebites all the way down his throat. The finger inside him twists, slowly, and the thumb brushes over and under his balls as it moves.
Suddenly it’s all too much. Shuzhi feels his hips jerk, his balls draw tight against his body, but then the hand on his cock squeezes tight. He groans and wriggles, trying to get away, to find space – he needs to -
His lord chuchles in his ear. ”You must wait for a while longer, A-Zhi. Wait for me. Can you do that?”
He doesn’t know, it feels impossible. His body is tense and hot, he’s going to burst any second. He nods anyway. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his lord.
His lord kisses him again, deep and demanding, and Shuzhi tries to answer even though he feels like any move might tip him over the edge. The hand on his cock stays still, but the finger inside him starts moving again, this time fucking in and out of him with purpose.
His whole body jerks, but his lord presses him down with his body and continues. Soon the pleasure builds again. He can’t hold in the gasps and moans, can’t keep himself still, he needs more and yet it’s too much.
His lord presses him down even harder, chest against chest, as another finger joins the first. Shuzhi shivers, presses himself down against the bed, feels the sheets tear under his hands. He isn’t making any sounds, now, can’t do anything exept try to hold himself still.
The fingers fucking into him make sparks dance behind his eyelids. His cock strains against the hand holding it, head brushing against his lord’s stomach. A wave of pleasure sweeps him away, and when he can think again, there is a third finger inside him already.
The weight on his body, on his cock; the lean chest against him and strong arm wrapped around his leg, the mouth on his and the fingers opening him. He’s heavy, his muscles locked and nerves on fire, his eyes hazy. He drifts with the pleasure, bulding and tight and inescapable, yet each time pushed down by the hands and body on him, crashing and never reaching completion.
Time blurs, becomes mallable and sticky, moments dragging, pleasure burning him inside out. When the fingers leave him he can’t even find the energy to protest, and then there’s a heavy, warm weight pressing into him.
His lord presses all the way in until their balls press against each other, then just hovers over Shuzhi as he gathers up the pieces of himself. He comes to slowly, burning from head to toe, relaxed except for his cock, which is hard enough to hurt and leaking, but no longer feels about to burst.
”Are you with me, A-Zhi?” Shuzhi manages a nod, and even that seems to take all his energy. ”Are you still okay to continue?”
”Please.” His voice sounds wrecked.
”Good.” His lord brings a hand up, wipes his cheeks, and only then does Shuzhi realize he is crying. It stops as soon as he notices, takes several shuddering breaths as his lord lays soft kisses on the corners of his eyes, his forehead, the corners of his mouth.
His l ord s tarts fucking in and out of him in slow, deep thrusts. It’ s good, it feels good. Just the right amount of friction and slide. He feels full and sated and still ready to take more, somehow. His hips strain up, searching for a deeper angle.
”Beautiful”, his lord murmurs. ”So beautiful on my cock. You feel like you were made for this, A-Zhi. You yield for me so easily. Look at me, A-Zhi.”
The sudden command ma kes Shuzhi gasp, even as the cock inside him hit s him hard at a different angle and ma k e s stars dance in his vision. His eyes snap fully open again, and he stare s , hy p notized, at his l ord . He still look s put-together and gorgeous, even with his hips snapping into Shuzhi with increasing urgency. And he is staring at Shuzhi like he want s to devour him, like he couldn’t ever get enough of him.
Shuzhi comes, toes curling in pleasure, and his lord fucks him through it and past it, until Shuzhi is just a relaxed puddle of pleasure, unable to tear his eyes away from his lord, unable to think of anything else. Only then does his lord pull out and come on his stomack, his chest. Shuzhi wants to drag his fingers through it and taste it, but he feels far too comfortable to actually move.
His l ord kisse s him one last time, languid and soft. Then he rises and leaves . Shuzhi turn s his head to look after him , and only just start s to wonder if he’ s supposed to get up as well when his l ord return s . His lord lift s him in his arms, again, and Shuzhi wrap s his arms around his shoulders and let s himself be carried.
There’s a bath drawn for him, and his l ord settles him in before leaving for a moment again. Shuzhi does actually manage to wash himself mostly on his own, start ing to sl o wly come out of his haze, but when it c omes time to get up from the bath his legs sh ake and fe el utterly powerless. His l ord drie s him and carrie s him back to the bed, sets him down on new, clean sheets, wraps him in blankets and kisses his forehead.
Shuzhi drifts off, barely stirring when his lord climbs into the bed with him and draws him to his chest. He sleeps soundly and without any nightmares for the first time in decades.