Chapter 1: pt. 1-7
In which Dean and Sam try to adjust to the appel pie kind of life and Dean makes it interesting all on his own
1. Trigger Warnings include: all that shit that’s in the tags. Read them before reading the fic!
2. I didn’t put major character death in as an archive warning because… you’ll see. You know how it is with these guys. Man, Sam and Dean are worse than Son Goku and his dragonballs…
3. Had to put underage sex in archive warnings though because they’re only 17 but, you know…
4. The title is a piece of lyrics fromRather beby Clean Bandit.
5. Rated Explicit for later chapters
Happy read! <3
And this is the cafeteria.
Dean shifted, trying to adjust to the unfamiliar feel of the Letterman jacket that in the last few days had replaced his normal leather jacket. The cafeteria looked just like any other normal school cafeteria he had been in, albeit a bit lager than the last. Most likely to accommodate the big student body of this particular school.
I know Alastair. He said and shifted again when it felt like the collar of the Letterman chafed at his neck.
It was included in the tour.
Three days, that was how long he and Sam had spent in this giant of a school and he had already managed to get picked out for the football team — as a reserve for now but whatever — and to get absorbed by the token popular crowd. It was bullshit. He wasn’t some golden football player that needed cheerleaders to prance about his heels. He was just Dean Winchester and even though John had decided that his sons needed some goddamn education Dean failed to see why that had to mean he had to smile and pretend to care. Sam was happy, of course, little dork being the one begging John ‘til the old man’s ears bled. And they had timed it well, getting to the new town just as the new school year was beginning. Even so, Dean thought it was unnecessary. He was seventeen; he didn’t need any more education. What he fucking needed was to be out there and help John so he didn’t get killed by the next neighborhood-friendly ghost turned rotten.
John had been adamant though. If Sam was going, so was Dean. Bullshit.
Well, excuse me. Alastair drawled in that accent of his and Dean barely resisted rolling his eyes. Alastair was captain of the football team and actually seemed to enjoy Dean’s company, God only knew why.
You and that kid brother of yours have only been to orientation and a couple of classes, just thought I’d show you the ropes.
Honestly, who talked like that? Dean longed for a conversation with a fellow hunter, just to get back to talking about stuff that actually mattered, if nothing else.
Thinking back to how happy Sammy had been when John told them his plans made him bite back his dry retort, though. Instead, he flashed Alastair his most winning grin and gestured for Alastair to continue talking.
Sorry, you were saying?
Alastair led him deeper into the cafeteria, Dean not failing to notice how some of the students were looking at his
friend. Contempt, awe, disgust, adoration. This place had it all and yet everyone parted ways for them.
So here we have our table. Alastair stated and Dean stared at the gathering of typical jocks and cheerleaders. God, could this get anymore cliché?
We have a table? he asked dumbly and one of the girls — Lisa? — giggled prettily at him.
Well, duh. One of the jocks answered and rolled his eyes. Dean just turned to Alastair who nodded.
We sit here and—
Who’s ‘we’? Dean interrupted and Alastair looked slightly annoyed but the unnamed jock answered for him.
The popular ones, bro. He elaborated and stuffed his face full of mashed potatoes. Dean nodded slowly, considering this crowd and rethinking his most recent decisions.
Yes. Alastair harrumphed, getting Dean’s attention back.
So we sit here, over there you have the classic nerds. He was pointing to a table with a couple of kids that to Dean’s eyes looked like everyone else. Sure, they were sporting Star Trek-shirts and Dean would swear one of them was wearing fake elf-ears but he couldn’t be sure. Could be some kind of occupational hazard making him see things too. There was a pretty red-head sitting close to a guy with a lollipop in his mouth obviously whispering furiously. They looked like they were having fun.
Over there you have… Alastair smacked his lips in thought.
I dunno, I think goth for this semester. They’ve been into punk and last semester I can swear they were emos but who the hell can keep count? the rest of the jock-table laughed but Dean just studied the people Alastair had pointed out. They were clad in mostly black, their faces obviously slathered in make-up to appear paler, standing out in stark contrast to their black hair and lips. They had a table at the far back and one of them was sitting on the table, propped back against the wall. Beside him was an attractive brunette, her hand placed lazily on his knee. Alastair tapped his shoulder to make him turn.
Over there you have the dorks, the preppy little know-it-alls. If you’ve forgotten an assignment you can always threaten one of them into doing it. He snorted at his own wittiness but Dean barely looked at the people he’d pointed at now.
His eyes had caught on a lonely figure, sitting at a big, otherwise empty table. The boy looked tiny and appeared to be reading the book that lay open beside his lunch tray. His small shoulders were hunched and his raven black hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed.
Who’s that? Dean asked, effectively ending the rant Alastair and jock no. 1 had been having about the dorks.
Dean pointed at the lonesome boy.
Seriously, who? Alastair squinted.
You mean the glee club? I was just getting to them.
No. Dean gritted his teeth and pulled Alastair forwards a couple of steps.
That guy, sitting alone.
Oh, you mean Novak. Alastair exclaimed, huffing a laugh.
Don’t bother with him.
Because he’s a looser, sweetheart. Lisa — yes, he recognized her by her voice now — said with a new giggle.
Dean didn’t know why but his stomach felt sour at her words. High school cliques man, he thought tiredly. He was getting too old for this shit.
Yeah, seriously, he’s just a nobody. Alastair said and turned back to his table.
A weirdo, everyone just avoids him and look at him, he’s perfected the art of staying out of sight. I seriously didn’t see him!
The whole table laughed at Alastair’s statement but Dean just wished he’d stop saying
seriously, it sounded ridiculous.
He must have some friends? he asked, unable to let it go.
Jock no. 1 shrugged and moved over on the bench so Dean could join him.
Not really, even his own brothers avoid him.
Brothers? Dean asked and wondered how in the hell that could be true. Not even a witch’s spell could make him treat Sammy badly.
Yeah. Alastair said and turned Dean’s attention back to the nerds.
The guy with the sweet-tooth is Gabriel, his older brother and that guy sitting on the table looking like he thinks he’s king of everything is Lucifer, their oldest brother. He got held back a year but fuck if he cares, apparently.
Loser. Another jock stated and the table hummed in collective agreement.
Now that Dean looked closer he could see both Gabriel and Lucifer periodically eyeing their little brother and he wondered…
Biblical names, huh? he said instead, not sure what to add to their little tirade.
Yeah. Alastair said again.
The runt is Castiel, Castiel Novak.
Dean thrummed his fingers against the table in thought.
All angels, why, though? he muttered and realized his mistake too late.
The table laughed at him, collectively, like some kind of sheep flock.
Why would it mean anything? Lisa queried, still half laughing and Alastair nodded as jock no. 1 slapped Dean on the shoulder.
And who the hell cares? he said and Dean very barely resisted the urge to throw his hand off.
Their little daddy’s a local minister; guess he thought it would bless his kids or something.
Man, did that fall short. Lisa snorted and Dean frowned at her. She jerked her head towards Castiel and Dean saw that the boy was making his way to the trash cans, obviously finished with his lunch.
Especially in little baby boy’s case.
How so? he asked, still tracking Castiel with his eyes.
Because he’s a fucking faggot. Alastair announced and Dean’s gaze jerked back to Alastair’s spiteful face.
Yeah so you better watch yourself Winchester. Alastair winked and the table laughed as if that was the joke of the year.
When Dean looked up again he just barely caught the tail of Castiel’s shirt as the boy pushed through the double doors, leaving the cafeteria.
So, how was school today? Dean asked as he filled Sam’s plate with spaghetti.
We got a project in math. Sam answered and accepted the plate before digging in with gusto.
Could you at least try and not sound so happy about it? Dean sighed and sat down with his own food.
Nope. Sammy answered with a toothy grin and Dean couldn’t help but to grin back. They ate in comfortable silence for a while and Dean thought that if Sam was happy it could maybe be worth dealing with the brainless jocks for a couple of years. Maybe, if he finished at least this year without complaint, John would let him come on hunts and just be done with school already.
Have you heard from dad? Sam asked suddenly, as if he had heard Dean thinking about John.
Yeah, he’ll be another couple of days but he’s on his way. He said, grabbing another portion both for himself and for Sam. The kid was growing.
Sam huffed but didn’t appear to be as angry about John leaving them by themselves as he had been at the beginning. Now, almost two weeks later, Sam had finally started to focus on the good stuff. John wanted his boys to have an education and the deal was that they would stay in this town until both Sammy and Dean had graduated at least high school. For Dean that was barely two years and for Sam six years but Dean was honestly a little concerned that John couldn’t wait that long. They still had the yellow-eyed demon to catch and they were still hunters at the core.
And while Dean hoped to be out of school soon, maybe even prematurely, he still didn’t know what to do about Sam. Dean could take care of him fine like it was now and Sam was after all already thirteen so it wasn’t like he was helpless but the fake credit cards would only work for so long and even though John was handling all of their finances it would be harder if they stayed stationary. Dean knew this and he thought Sammy did too. Dean thought that he maybe would have to get a job to keep up appearances and in that case he should probably finish school too. And that would take him even further from hunting. It was much to think about and Dean often found himself in a downwards spiral whenever he tried to address these concerns.
I wish he would just stop. Sammy muttered, voicing some of Dean’s own thoughts.
I know Sam but you know how this life is.
Yeah, yeah. Sam shook his head, obviously not wanting to have this argument again.
Tell me about your day, Dean. He said instead and Dean grinned at him.
Yes dear. He teased and Sam made a face at him as he got up to do the dishes.
Everything fun with the jocks? Sam asked and Dean tried not to let his shoulders tense as he stood waiting for the water to get warm enough.
It’s fine. He muttered.
It’s strange to see you in that Letterman. Sam joined him by the counter.
Looks good on you though.
They’re a strange crowd. He admitted and Sammy nodded.
Yeah but who isn’t at this school?
Well, I gotta go. Sam stated suddenly and Dean frowned in confusion.
Where? It’s late already.
Math project, remember? It was partner-assigned.
He was already out in the hall in the small house John’s credit cards rented for them. Dean followed him, his hands dripping wet even as he was drying them on a little towel.
Well, he started as Sam was pulling on his shoes.
Don’t stay out too late and take your phone with you.
Aww. Sam cooed mockingly.
Are you giving me a curfew?
Shut up. Dean spat, not really angry.
You’re my responsibility and if you go get yourself killed I’ll kick your ass, bitch.
Jerk. Sammy said affectionately and slipped out the door.
The next time Dean actually saw Castiel Novak again — not just glimpsed him on the edges of his consciousness — was almost four weeks into the semester. Dean was well-versed in the how this school worked by now and he honestly hated the rules, the time-frames, the expectations. The only joy he had was hearing about Sammy’s day when they sat down to have dinner. The kid was so happy it definitely made up for Dean’s misery.
This day he was a little early coming to school and only because John had had to leave them again, chasing after another lead on yellow-eyes and Dean had helped him pack the pick-up before Sam had woken up. Dean hated John leaving without saying goodbye to Sam but he figured it was for the best. Otherwise there probably would have been a fight. As it was now, Sammy had only pouted a little but hadn’t argued when Dean had ushered him into the Impala almost thirty minutes too early.
After getting what he needed for homeroom he thought to head to the cafeteria for a pit stop but ended up taking a wrong turn and found himself in a corridor much like the one where his locker was placed, this one also lined with row after row of lockers. Some students had begun trickling in but it didn’t hinder him from noticing Castiel’s slim form standing by what appeared to be his locker.
Dean didn’t know what it was but the sight of Castiel made him stop and just look at the boy. His hair was still in that tousled state and this close Dean noticed the icy blue of his eyes. He was rustling around in his locker but while his features were carefully schooled in a neutral expression Dean could still see many emotions in his eyes. And whenever someone passed by his exposed back his blue eyes hardened ever so slightly and he pressed his lips together minutely. Why the hell Dean was looking at the boy’s lips he couldn’t say.
He leaned against the lockers to his right and tried to look as if he wasn’t staring. Thankfully, Castiel didn’t seem to notice him. There was something distant about the boy and yet…
Just as Dean thought he should drop it, Castiel slammed his locker shut and started walking in the direction Dean was standing. He wasn’t looking, however, fumbling with the books he’d picked out, so he never saw Dean turning his head and following him with his gaze as he passed by.
There was something about the way he moved, Dean decided. Yeah. It was graceful almost, more like a girl than a guy. That was it; end of story. Good to have it figured out.
Dean turned to leave, prepared to drop it, when he heard a loud smack and a roar of laughter. Turning back he saw that none other than Alastair and Michael — a.k.a. jock no. 1 — had intercepted Castiel and that one of them probably had knocked the books out of Castiel’s hands.
Watch where you’re going, Novak. Alastair taunted and Dean frowned but Castiel just sighed loudly and bent down to pick up the books.
Leave me alone, Heyerdahl. He muttered and Dean swallowed hard. God, the voice on that kid. He shook his head. What the hell was wrong with him?
Leave me alone. Alastair parroted; his voice deeper in obvious mockery of Castiel’s.
The hell man? Your rocks must be the size of tennis balls.
Michael roared in laughter again and kicked some of the books out of Castiel’s reach.
Wouldn’t you like to know? Castiel spat and deftly dodged the kick Michael aimed at him, even though he was still crouched down on the floor.
Dean’s eyebrows shot to the roof. The kid was brass and he obviously knew to take care of himself. And a good thing too, seeing as no one of the passing students interfered. Dean started walking towards the trio.
What the fuck did you say, Novak? Alastair hissed and bent down to make a grab at Castiel but Dean cut in-between, putting a hand on Alastair’s shoulder.
Hey man. He said, trying to sound casual.
I lost my damn way, going to homeroom?
Alastair huffed in annoyance but straightened anyway.
Yeah, c’mon. He muttered and the three of them turned to leave.
Dean looked over his shoulder just as they were turning a corner and saw that Castiel was still sitting on the floor, looking after them. That was the first time their eyes met.
Dean thumped his head down on the dining table. Sam moved his books out of the way but refrained from engaging when his big brother groaned loudly.
Dude. Dean eventually grunted out and he could practically feel Sam roll his eyes at him.
Remind me again how long we’re staying here.
In this particular house or…?
Please don’t fuck with me.
He saw Sam smirking at him when he finally looked up.
Well, his little brother said and put down his pen.
Since you asked so nicely. What’s bothering you, dear brother?
He made a face at Sammy but then sighed and rubbed his face.
I might be in over my head.
It had been about a week and a half since the incident in the corridor where he had practically saved the Novak boy and he had spent those two weeks trying to think of a way he might hear Castiel talk again. Maybe to him. But the only things he had found was that Castiel Novak had near perfected the way to disappear into thin air and that when he didn’t manage fast enough he was almost always ambushed by people wanting to poke fun at him for one reason or another. Mainly because he was gay, Dean supposed, but there were other reasons too. Many girls seemed to like to tease him about his face and especially his
cock-sucking lips. Dean didn’t know why; he thought Castiel’s lips were awesome.
A thought that had disturbed him enough to try and avoid the boy and just when he had been doing that he had run right into him, had knocked Castiel to the floor and Dean had just stood there over him, his heart beating furiously in his chest. Castiel was almost half a head shorter than Dean and his body was so slim yet when he crashed into Dean’s firmer form he had felt disturbingly solid and Dean had had a hard time recovering from the fact that that was his and Castiel’s first time touching. He had been conflicted between wanting to help the boy to his feet and to run for his life, hiding from the fact that his blood ran warm at the thought of touching again. Castiel had just sat on his rump, rubbing his elbow and scowling at Dean when, of fucking course, Alastair had emerged and asked if Castiel was causing trouble. It was insane. Dean was bigger, stronger and the one standing up. He had just babbled out something stupid in the situation’s defense and when he had looked down again Castiel had been gone.
In over your head over what? Sam asked and pulled Dean back to the present.
Did you ever stop to think about what us staying in one place might mean?
I dunno, security? Sam deadpanned and Dean groaned in frustration. Sam squinted at him and Dean looked away.
But you mean something else. He stated unnecessarily and this time Dean rolled his eyes.
What if something supernatural happened here? We could never take care of it or we would expose ourselves but we can’t not do anything, it’s not in our nature. Dean rather thought he had phrased that quite eloquently but of course Sammy would pick up on the real problem.
You mean we can’t get away with doing what we like.
Dean put his head back down on the table to hide from his brother’s bitch-face. His thirteen-year-old brother’s all-knowing bitch-face.
Is that what you got out of what I said?
That is what you said, Dean.
Dean muttered something unintelligent and refused to acknowledge his brother. This had been a bad idea. Why the hell did he think discussing something that was really nothing would be a good idea? And with his baby brother? Dean should really get some goddamn friends.
Is this about a girl? Sam asked after a long while and Dean jerked upright, only a little embarrassed to notice he had been snoozing with his head on the table, over an hour having passed.
I heard what you said Dean and knowing you it’s probably that you want to hit someone, one way or the other and believe it or not, I’d much prefer if this was about some girl you want to sleep with.
Dean scrunched up his face.
Ugh, Sam, I don’t want to talk with you about this.
So I was right? Sam sighed again when Dean just looked away.
I know you’re a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of guy and that’s fine for the lifestyle we’ve been having but I think you’re worried now that we’re actually living here. He said matter-of-factly and Dean’s jaw dropped so fast it hurt.
Where the hell did you learnt to talk like that? he spat out, suddenly very glad that dad wasn’t home.
From you, duh. Sammy sassed and Dean wanted to go bury himself in the yard.
So tell me I’m wrong. He challenged.
Dean would never fucking admit it but he actually blushed. Thankfully Sam had the grace to get up and get a glass of water and pretend like he didn’t see his brother go beet red.
You’re not totally right though. He mumbled when Sam sat down again.
I don’t think I would quit this if I ever got to hit it.
Sammy wolf-whistled and Dean really wished he wouldn’t have.
Is Dean Winchester in love? he asked, sounding mock-shocked.
What? Fuck you bitch.
Jerk. Sam answered automatically and Dean looked up to see him smirking, clearly just playing with him.
So what’s the problem Dean? Just go talk to her.
I’ve been trying. Dean huffed, frustrated.
This person is seriously avoiding me. Avoiding everyone.
So try harder.
Grade A advice little bro.
You’re a Winchester Dean. Sammy scolded, obviously trying to imitate their dad and Dean’s eyebrows shot to the roof in surprise.
Winchesters don’t quite.
Dean laughed at that, actually feeling better.
Thanks little man. He said and ruffled Sammy’s hair as he stood to go to the fridge. If nothing else, the gesture at least put some kind of normalcy to their relationship. Goddamn had the kid really grown up so fast? Even so, Sammy’s advice was solid. Fuck if he knew what he wanted with Castiel Novak but for now he just focused on the simple things: he wanted to talk to the kid. Maybe about him being bullied and if Dean could help because Dean couldn’t not help when someone needed it. So maybe they’d talk about that and maybe they’d talk about why Castiel’s hair always looked like he had just had mind-blowing sex.
Either way, Sammy was right: Winchesters don’t quit.
It took Dean all but two days until he finally figured out where Castiel disappeared to every day. There was this little secluded patch of forest just slightly behind the bleachers and when the kid slid into the thick undergrowth and put the trees between himself and the school grounds he was invisible. And it was darn hard to track him there too since the part between the bleachers and the forest was just a plain patch of grass, making anyone approaching clearly visible. But Dean managed. Oh, Dean had not been helping his dad track vamps and Wendigos and shit just to be caught by an ordinary human. Well, not that ordinary but whatever, the point was still made when he sauntered round the tree and found Castiel sitting with his back again the trunk, knees propped up to support the book he was reading.
If Castiel was surprised or scared to see him he did a damn good job of hiding it. He just scowled in irritation as Dean stopped to look at him, grinning from ear to ear.
What do you want, Winchester? he asked after a while, his voice still as deep but Dean didn’t fail to notice the slight defeat in it, as if Dean finding his hiding-spot was the worst thing that could have happened. That hurt but Dean chose to overlook it in favor of what the boy had actually said.
You know my name?
Castiel scoffed and looked back down at his book but Dean could see his shoulders tense, preparing for fight or flight.
Everyone knows your name. He stated and Dean raised his eyebrows at that.
New kid in school? Saunters in like he fucking owns the place and snags a place on the football team without even trying. Yeah, everyone knows your name. You and your brother both.
Dean tried very hard to hide the fact that Castiel swearing in that gravelly voice was goddamn arousing. Instead he tried to focus on the actual meaning of the boy’s words.
You know about Sammy? he said and sat down beside Castiel, cross-legged on the grass.
Castiel looked at him like he was sprouting two heads.
What are you doing? he asked cautiously and Dean frowned.
What do you mean? Making conversation?
Castiel narrowed his eyes at him.
Leave me alone Winchester.
Why? Castiel parroted, sounding confused.
I mean… Dean rubbed the back of his neck.
If you’d rather not talk to me it’s fine but it took me so long to find you and I… he looked up to see Castiel staring confusedly at him, his head cocked to the side and a fucking adorable frown on his face.
Dude. Dean said and mimicked the gesture, completely forgetting to feel embarrassed for thinking a guy was adorable.
This. Dean wobbled his head from side to side.
Is this your thinking face? I’ve seen you make it before.
Castiel actually blushed and straightened a little, closing his book but keeping his eyes glued to it.
What do you want Winchester?
Dean smiled when Castiel looked up to meet his eyes. God, his eyes were like the fucking sky.
I’ve noticed you call people you don’t like by their last names. I’d like for you to call me Dean.
Okay. Castiel said, very slowly like he certainly wasn’t buying it.
Would that be all, Dean?
Dean was ridiculously glad he was sitting down. Man, hearing his name in that rumbling voice should not feel like this. Later, Dean would chalk his boldness up to the fact that he was currently riding a seriously dangerous wave of arousal.
Actually. He said and looked down, pulling at some of the grass by his feet.
The football team practices at Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
Dean still hadn’t looked up.
Sometimes friends come and watch us play around.
Yeah. Castiel clearly wasn’t following.
And sometimes girls come too. Dean added and busied himself with tearing the grass leafs apart.
Dean looked up and saw to his pride that Castiel was giving him his undivided attention. His chest swelled. Too deep, too fucking deep in over my head.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t mind it if I looked up there and saw you. He pushed out and the look on Castiel’s face was definitely worth the embarrassment he felt at sounding so utterly girly and stupid.
Castiel’s eyes rounded out in surprise and he quickly looked away from Dean’s searching eyes. So fucking adorable Dean wasn’t even ashamed to use that word anymore.
Why? Castiel nearly whispered and Dean had to strain to hear it.
What do you mean why? Because I want you to watch me play of course. Yeah, it only sounded a little douchey when he said it like that. Like he was some all-star player that was worth an audience. But fuck if he didn’t get all warm inside just thinking about Castiel’s eyes tracing him out on the field.
I don’t like being played with Winchester. Castiel growled suddenly and Dean was confused. How had he lost first name-privileges so fast?
I’m not playing around Cas. He said and actually dared to lean a little closer, completely unaware that he had used a nickname for Castiel. Castiel certainly reacted to it though and even if Dean didn’t know what it was that set that haunted look in the boy’s eyes he did at least pick up on the look itself.
What’s the matter? he asked gently and Castiel looked away again.
I’m not gonna hurt you if that’s what you think. This isn’t Carrie and there ain’t no pig farms around.
The comment actually made Castiel quirk his lips in amusement, if only for the slightest moment but Dean caught it and his heart fluttered in his chest.
I know who your friends are Dean. Castiel mumbled, still refusing to look at Dean.
You shouldn’t be talking to me.
Dean huffed a frustrated sigh.
Fine, so we won’t talk but would you just come and watch? I would really like to see you on the bleachers. Please. His voice dropped at the last word and Dean could see Castiel contemplating the offer, obviously weighing the dangers and Dean got that. He was asking much. For someone who had perfected invisibility that level of exposure would obviously be terrifying but Dean couldn’t back down now. He didn’t know why but he wanted this.
So when Castiel finally gave a curt nod Dean almost jumped with joy.
Yeah? he asked and grinned like an idiot when Castiel met his eyes and nodded again.
Yeah, I’ll come to watch you practice.
It’s a deal. Dean said and got to his feet, well aware that he probably had missed his biology class for the day and needing to get back to school.
I’ll see you there Cas and don’t worry, he winked when the boy made a confused face at him.
I won’t tell anyone about your little hide-away.
He made his exit before Castiel could object to the nickname or change his mind- Practically skipped all the way to class where he received detention for the day for being tardy but hell if he cared. Now Cas would come to practice and maybe they would talk afterwards. After a while, perhaps, when Cas could see that Alastair and his posse was nothing to worry about. So he and Cas could talk and he could get to know Cas and they could talk about the bullying and Dean could run his fingers through that thick hair and Cas could press his plump lips against Dean’s and Dean could grind—woah!
Dean cleared his throat and tried to shift in his chair to relieve tension from his totally-inappropriate-for-math-class boner. Goddamnit Winchester!
Cas would come to practice and then maybe they would talk. Talk.
It was one week to the day before Dean finally glimpsed Cas’ slight form far up on the bleachers. He was so excited he only caught himself in the last moment before waving at the boy. Cas was sitting hunched over and reading yet another book. Several rows in front of him sat a large group of freshmen girls, squealing every time someone from the team looked at them. They were there almost every practice nowadays and they were grating on Dean’s nerves. The rest of the team seemed to enjoy the attention though and Dean thought they were all mindless idiots. Until Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean.
Fuck, Dean thought and understood what was so appealing about someone watching him play. The girls could go to hell for all he cared but now he got it.
Cas made no motion that he recognized anyone from the team but Dean knew and it made his heart skip unnaturally. Unable to stop himself he actually waved shyly and he saw that Cas saw, saw it in the way his shoulders squared and the way he ducked his head. He didn’t wave back but Dean felt glad anyway. Felt noticed.
Unfortunately the moment was ruined by the squealing mass in front of Cas. Of course they would believe he’d waved at them. And maybe that was for the best, he thought as Alastair and Michael commented amusedly on it. Maybe that was why Cas had chosen to sit where he did.
Dean didn’t fucking care. Let the girls think he was making googly eyes at one of them. Let the team think he was picking out his next lay. Let them think whatever. He knew and Cas knew and it was the best practice Dean had ever performed.
Of course Cas had been nowhere to be seen after the practice and of course he hadn’t come to the next. Whatever. Dean wasn’t bothered. He let Cas have his time. Dean was totally cool with that.
It was only four days later, when Sammy had yelled at him for being impossibly cranky at home, that he yet again made his way to Cas’ forest.
Predictably, since it was lunch hour, Cas was situated against his favorite tree, reading.
Hiya. Dean said and plopped down beside him, much closer this time.
Cas almost jumped out of his skin this time.
Dean! he exclaimed and clutched at his heart.
Dean smirked at the cute way Castiel’s chest heaved when he breathed hard.
Didn’t expect company?
Of course not. Cas sneered but actually closed his book.
What do you want now?
Dean looked down. Why was Cas making this so difficult? Dean was already having a hard enough time figuring out what he wanted and it wasn’t made easier by Cas continuously asking him.
I missed you at practice.
I went like you wanted.
It took you a week to do so. Dean looked up and noticed Castiel’s cautious expression and realization dawned.
You wanted to wait and see if I was up to something. He said and it sounded much more accusing than he had intended.
Well, can you blame me? Castiel spat.
You didn’t seem to be, though, and I went and you waved. The girls squealed happily and everyone was content so it’s done with.
Cas. Dean scooted even closer but stopped when the boy tensed.
I don’t care about everyone else, I just wanted you to watch me.
Cas was biting his lower lip and it did things to Dean. Delicious, inappropriate, things.
Well, I did and you were great, you should be on the team for real Dean.
I was only great because you were there Cas. Dean mumbled shyly and Castiel’s eyes rounded for a moment before he looked away, looking indecisive.
Yeah, well you shouldn’t go around saying that.
I won’t, Cas. I— he was interrupted by his phone ringing and he didn’t know if he was supposed to be relieved or irritated. He frankly hadn’t known how he should end the sentence he had begun but at the same time he actually felt like he was getting somewhere with Cas.
Pulling out his phone he saw that the caller ID read dad and he frowned at it.
I gotta take this. He said apologetically and straightened.
Sure. He heard Cas answer just as he picked up the call. Cas sounded like he didn’t understand why Dean felt the need to excuse himself. It made Dean feel odd.
What’s wrong? he said to John and proceeded to listen to his dad talking about how his plans to get home this week probably would be thwarted by a possible haunting two states over.
Have you called Bobby? he asked, turning his back to Cas and lowering the sound on his phone even further when John continued to rant about Bobby’s ineffectiveness.
Yeah, yeah. Dean eventually sighed.
Maybe I could help dad. He offered but got a long lecture about Sammy and responsibilities.
Then I don’t see why you called. He barked after a while and felt Cas jump beside him. He smiled apologetically at the boy and was actually rewarded with that queer quirking of his lips. Dean’s eyes glued themselves to the sight and he didn’t hear half of John’s irritated retort.
Don’t worry dad. He said when he realized what he was doing and finally managed to tear his eyes away. Cas was looking funnily at him.
I got it covered here. He said and listened for a while about John telling him to be grateful that he was sharing what was happening because that was what Sammy and Dean had wanted. Dean wanted to tell him to call Sam instead because God knew it was the kid that worried the most but he didn’t. Instead he just hummed along and tried not to imagine what Castiel’s smile would feel like against his skin.
Be safe. He said eventually and they ended the call, Dean still a little puzzled as to what John had actually wanted save from informing his kids about his whereabouts.
So, Cas said and cocked his head to the side in that way of his.
Tell me about it. Dean huffed and tried not to be amazed at the fact that Cas hadn’t used the phone call to bail on him. He looked at the black screen of his phone for a while, contemplating the call and finally sighing.
Well, I better go.
Yeah. Cas agreed so effortlessly that it hurt Dean’s self-esteem.
He rose but paused and looked down, surprised to find Cas watching him as if he already knew Dean wouldn’t leave before saying something else. Or as if he wanted Dean to say something. Dean swallowed.
So, will I see you at practice?
We’ll just have to see, won’t we?
I’m not luring you into a trap, Cas.
Cas squinted thoughtfully at him.
How would I know?
You wouldn’t. Dean conceded with a grin.
It was three weeks later. Three weeks of boring school. Of Alastair and the other asshats thinking they were funny. Three weeks and two parties Dean just had to attend or so God help him. The last two of those weeks John had been home and they had actually had a good time. Or would have, if only Dean wasn’t so goddamn antsy all the time. Three fucking weeks and Cas hadn’t shown up to any practice and when Dean had gone to the forest he had been nowhere near in sight. He was obviously avoiding Dean and it was driving Dean crazy.
They had been talking and it had been nice and Cas had smiled at him and Dean was fucking tired pretending he didn’t know what was going on. He was a practical man and, most of all, he was a man that relied on natural instincts. And now his instincts told him to find Cas right the fuck now because he could pretend he wanted to just be friends all he wanted but the wet dreams spoke for themselves. He couldn’t get Cas’ lips out of his mind. They had smiled at him. They had!
Because Dean was so practical it wasn’t hard for him to find Cas’ whole schedule and it certainly wasn’t hard for him to avoid his friends and teachers in favor of stalking Cas today. Just as the black-haired boy was leaving his chemistry class Dean emerged from the shadows and yanked him back by the arm. Cas yelped in surprise but no one moved to help him. And one glare from Dean sent the straggles scattering. It actually hurt Dean’s heart to see how easily everyone left even though they most probably expected Cas to get the living daylights beaten out of him by one of the jocks. Because that was what Dean was now. A fucking jock. John had been surprised to say the least but not disappointed so Dean had just rolled with it and at times like this it worked in his favor.
What the hell? Cas demanded when Dean proceeded with hauling him down the corridor.
Shut up Novak. He snarled and Cas complied but struggled all the way to the janitor’s closet Dean had picked out. Dean kept his angry glare intact all the way until he had the door closed securely behind him. When he turned his eyes on Cas he saw that the boy was glaring hard enough for the both of them.
Did I hurt you? he asked and Cas was clearly thrown back by his gentle tone.
He rubbed his arm grudgingly.
No. He said and adjusted his backpack on his shoulder.
What do you want now?
Dean stepped forward until he was very noticeably in Cas’ personal space. It made the smaller boy uncomfortable, he could clearly tell.
Why are you avoiding me? he demanded but held his voice calm.
Cas stared confusedly at him.
You… You get that you’re a jock, right?
I mean, you’re one of the popular kids and I’m… I’m just me. You get the difference, right?
Dean’s head hurt a little.
What the fuck does that mean?
Dean. Cas cocked his head to the side in that damn adorable way.
Is this the first school with cliques that you’ve attended or something?
I don’t care about that shit. He had somehow managed to slip even closer and Cas’ scent was driving him crazy. He wasn’t even aware that smells could be a kink until now. Yeah, there was no longer any doubt in his mind what this was about.
Well, you should. Cas answered firmly and made to push Dean away but only managing to place his hand against Dean’s chest and press a little.
Now let me go, I have no interest to be singled out even more by the in-crowd just because you feel like playing some stupid little game and—
Dean couldn’t resist anymore. Cas’ hand on his chest was warm and his voice was like waves washing over Dean’s senses. Before he could stop himself he had surged forwards, pressing Cas back up against the wall and crashing their lips together.
Cas stood stock still, one hand on the strap of his backpack and the other trapped in-between them. His lips were warm and soft and when Dean licked him he opened his mouth in a quiet gasp, his hand curling into a fist, grabbing Dean’s shirt. Dean groaned against his mouth and pressed even closer when he felt Cas respond. Dean’s hands were at first on either side of Cas’ face but as the kiss deepened he soothed them down Cas’ sides. When he gripped Cas’ hips the smaller boy made a strangled noise and Dean moaned, feeling his dick quivering in the confines of his pants.
But letting his hands travel back and squeeze Cas’ firm butt was the wrong move. Cas gasped again and pushed hard with the hand he had on Dean’s chest. Hard enough for Dean to know when enough was enough.
What the hell are you doing? Cas asked angrily and Dean actually felt proud to hear the slightly breathless tone of the boy.
I think it’s pretty obvious Cas. He said huskily and was thrilled when Cas shuddered at the sound of Dean’s voice.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Cas stated, sounding much too calm for Dean’s liking.
You don’t get anything, do you?
Dean couldn’t really think with Cas this close and in this state. He leaned in to kiss the boy again but was forcefully pushed back.
What Cas? What am I not getting?
Your friends Dean. Cas gritted out.
How the hell do you think they would react if they caught you kissing the school joke? A guy? They would fucking beat you to death.
Dean snorted and inadvertently pulled some of Castiel’s smell deep down his lungs. It made him dizzy.
I’d like to see them try.
Then they’d go after your brother. Cas deadpanned and that made Dean frown.
To get to me?
Are you really this stupid?
Dean shrugged and was thrilled when he managed to press closer to Cas without being pushed back.
We’ve taken worse, believe me.
They were kissing again and Dean couldn’t think about anything except the way Cas’ body felt against his. So small and so fragile and yet so alive. It felt like it was burning under his hands and Dean managed to let his hands wander pretty far before Cas stopped him again. Dean groaned disappointedly.
Fine. Cas spat.
You don’t concern yourself with your well-being but I don’t like being played with Dean.
I’m not playing Cas. Dean moaned desperately and dove in to sniff along Cas’ neck. Cas arched his back but soon pushed Dean back again.
You’re new here, I get it that you have to prove yourself to your gang but I don’t want to be a part of it.
Cas. Dean all but whined because Dean Winchester didn’t fucking whine.
Why does it have to be one or the other? I’m not pretending just to pull some kind of prank. He grabbed the hand Cas had pressed against his chest and pushed it forcefully against his straining erection.
I couldn’t fucking fake this to save my life, okay? he said and tried his hardest not to rub himself against Cas’ slim fingers.
Cas’ eyes rounded out in surprise but instead of relenting his stupid arguments he pulled his hand back and slapped Dean clean across one cheek. The blow was pretty tame compared to a lot of other shit Dean had taken and his head turned more out of shock than force.
Just… Just don’t. Castiel said, his voice levelled but Dean saw his wonderfully kiss-swollen lips tremble.
Dean did nothing to stop him from leaving.
Chapter 2: pt. 8-12
In which Dean drinks some whisky and goes to a party, on two very separate occasions
Woah! Dean practically whined — yeah, that’s right — when Sammy yanked the bottle of JD out of his hand.
What the hell Dean?
What? Dean grumbled, trying and failing to swipe the bottle back.
Drinking dad’s liquor, are you trying to get yourself killed? he danced out of Dean’s reach and put the bottle down on the table in front of the sofa.
It was only then that Dean noticed the time. Guess Sam had just gotten back from pre-cal or what the hell the kid did so late some afternoons.
Store, I think. Dean sighed and leaned back against the back of the sofa.
The hell Dean? Sammy repeated and sat down beside him, staring at the bottle.
How much did you have to drink in that sort time?
Dean knew what Sam meant — the grocery store was only like a ten minute drive — but what did he care? He was a fuck up and that was that.
Bottle was full. He answered and closed his eyes when Sam shook his head disapprovingly.
Dad’s gonna kill you. And we’ve been having such a good time, I don’t want to ruin this. Sam complained and Dean gritted his teeth.
You don’t want me to ruin this, you mean.
Well, you are the one drinking yourself to death on stolen booze. Sam spat but his eyes softened when Dean looked away.
What’s this about Dean? Do you really hate it here?
Dean considered lying. If he said he truly, truly hated it Sammy would just give up and they would talk to John and even though John had seemed to like playing house Dean knew it would be easier for him too if they just hit the road. Except… except that would break Sammy’s heart and Dean wasn’t sure it wouldn’t break his too.
No. He sighed again.
I don’t hate it here.
Is this about your girl?
Who? Dean was drunk, he knew that, but Sammy switching topics like a goddamn talk show host was not helping.
You know. Sam gestured vaguely.
The one you wouldn’t quit after you hit?
Dean groaned and turned to hide his face from Sam’s stare.
I haven’t hit anything.
So that’s the problem? Sammy said teasingly and Dean groaned even louder.
No, the fucking problem is that I’m a fucking fuck-up that fucks up everything I touch and… and… Fuck! he ended his rant with punching the sofa.
Sam sat quietly for a while before gently sliding the JD across the table.
Done? he asked when Dean had downed an unhealthy amount.
Yes. Dean grumbled, angrier with himself for being so immature than anything else.
Wanna tell me what happened?
Yes you do, you’re an attention-whore.
Dean’s eyebrows shot to the roof.
Language. He berated heatedly but Sam just rolled his eyes.
Says my very drunk role-model. He took the bottle from Dean’s trembling hands and put it out of reach again.
So, have you talked to…? he trailed off, hoping for Dean to fill in the name but Dean just looked away.
Okay, that’s ridiculous. He sighed heavily when Dean still didn’t answer.
Fine, have you talked to X?
Dean actually smiled at that. Sammy was so goddamn set on helping him, how could he not feel better?
Yeah. He said, his voice surprisingly soft.
And I asked X to come to watch me practice football because I dunno… I figured that’s what kids do in high school or whatever.
Sammy smiled affectionately.
Yeah? And what did she say?
Really? And you took no for an answer? Even after my awesome pep talk?
Dean grimaced, meant to smile but it ended up lopsided.
‘Course not. He said.
I just asked again and again and I managed to get X to agree.
So what’s the problem?
Only came to one practice. He muttered and picked at the inseam of his jeans.
Maybe you weren’t clear on what you wanted? We both know you suck at expressing yourself.
You know it’s true. So, you talked again or what?
Yeah. Dean eyed the JD longingly but made no move to get it.
X’s afraid I’m just playing around.
Well, both you and I know that you have that kind of reputation in some states but I fail to see how that could have affected you here.
You mean to say I sleep around?
We’ve already established this Dean. Sam sighed again and looked like he needed a drink too.
But why would she think so? Have you already fucked up your popular reputation?
Dean rolled his eyes.
No but that goddamn rep is what’s wrong here. If I’d just been myself I think X would’ve liked me better. Now… he looked down at his hands in his lap.
X is afraid my new friends are making me play a prank.
Oh. Sammy sat silent for a while and Dean sat stewing in his embarrassment and half-finished stupor.
Are you? he asked eventually and Dean looked at him, actually shocked.
Okay. Sam nodded.
Just thought I’d ask this once. I believe you though, you may be a jerk but you’re not an asshole.
Bitch. Dean mumbled and turned his embarrassed look away from his little brother.
So, have you told her the truth?
Of course I have.
Sammy sighed for the third time, exasperated.
Then what’s the problem?
The problem is X didn’t believe me! Dean suddenly yelled but Sam didn’t even flinch.
The fucking problem is I couldn’t keep my goddamn hands to myself and I fucking kissed… X, I kissed X. He ended lamely and Sam skillfully decided to ignore the pause before the pseudonym.
And she… hated it? he guessed offhandedly and Dean gave him a dark glare in return.
Then maybe you should do your best to just confirm to her that you’re not actually playing a prank. You should, God help you, be honest about your feelings, Dean.
Dean groaned and buried deep into the sofa again, just as the front door opened.
I don’t want to. I just wanna leave and— Sammy’s hand on his shoulder stopped him from continuing. When he turned he saw John standing in the opening into the living room, brown paper bags with groceries still in his hands.
What’s going on? John asked and narrowed his eyes at the scene, no doubt taking in Dean’s disheveled appearance and the JD that still stood, half-full, on the table.
Nothing. Sammy mumbled but Dean knew better than to lie.
I’m sorry sir. He said and tried to sit up straight. It was a losing battle.
John put the groceries on the floor and walked into the room, sitting down on the armchair and grabbing the bottle, as if he needed to protect it from Dean. Or maybe protect Dean from it?
Is this not working anymore? he asked and both Sam and Dean knew immediately what he meant.
Sure, them trying to have both a hunter lifestyle and a house to return to was difficult but they had known it would be when they had decided to try it. Dean and Sam going to school was the biggest readjustment, especially for Dean and they all knew this too. Dean would be damned, however, before he took this away from Sam. Especially when John actually seemed to like having a home to tend to too. God, Dean felt selfish.
It is. He said and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
It’s working fine, I just… I’m just adjusting poorly.
You don’t have to play football you know. He said and fingered the bottle as if he contemplated having a drink of his own.
It’s not that. Dean sighed, thinking that maybe it was a little. If he hadn’t gotten on the damn team he maybe could have had a relationship with Cas.
Okay, that was a bit much… But maybe he could have gotten to know the boy on equal terms, talked to him, touched him, kissed him… Goddamnit!
I need this to work. John stated firmly and Dean could feel Sammy tense beside him.
If you at any point feel like it’s not, we—
Dean’s in love! Sam suddenly yelled and when Dean turned to throttle him he had already danced out of the way.
What? John asked dumbly.
This, Sammy gestured between the three of them and the house.
This is working, Dean’s just suffering from unrequited love. He smirked at Dean when Dean turned his patented I’m-gonna-kill-you-and-bury-you-in-the-woods-look on him.
Okay. John said slowly and Sam hopped over to the groceries.
I’m gonna go put these in. He announced and skipped out of the suddenly very uncomfortable living room.
Is it true son? John asked after a while and Dean made sure he wouldn’t be able to spontaneously combust before he turned to his dad.
I’m not in love. He clarified.
I just… there’s this… Sammy suggested we could use X.
For the name? John seemed thoroughly puzzled but thankfully nothing else and Dean thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to talk about this. Chalk it up to the booze talking or whatever.
Yeah. He nodded and John did too.
I really like this X but because of the people I associate with at school I come across as insincere or something.
John hummed thoughtfully.
Then maybe you should find new friends. He said simply and Dean nodded.
The thought has crossed my mind too but X doesn’t take that for an answer.
Seems like a complicated gal.
You have no idea. Dean muttered.
John sighed heavily.
Look, Dean, I really want this to work out but if you can’t handle a little crush without drinking all of my booze I’m gonna have to move us.
Don’t, Sammy’ll get devastated.
Yes, well, I’d rather take an unhappy kid than an alcoholic one. John snapped but when Dean met his eyes there was no malice in them.
I don’t want you to become a drunk. He said, uncharacteristically soft and Dean frowned.
Half of the hunter community are drunks.
Yes, and half of them don’t live past forty and I won’t fucking have that for my kids if I can help it.
Bobby’s a drunk and past forty. Dean pointed out, not entirely clear on why he was defending this.
Bobby’s a piss-poor example. John said with finality.
Look, Dean, he said and looked at the bottle of JD like he had never before needed a drink so bad.
I know what it’s like to be in love, it’s damn hard. He looked up and Dean wanted to argue that he wasn’t in love with Cas, he was just interested and there was the sex and… Fucking hell.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that before you go drink your life away maybe you should make sure it’s a complete no-go.
Dean smiled a little.
Yeah. He agreed.
Sammy told me Winchesters don’t quit.
At what point do I become a creepy stalker, though?
At the police restraint. John said firmly and actually opened the bottle to take a swing. To Dean’s disappointment he didn’t offer his oldest son any.
Now go take a shower and sober up before dinner. He said and got up, effectively ending the conversation.
After not one but two awfully embarrassing conversations Dean was glad to flee to the shower. The water was scalding hot and he sighed contently as he rubbed it through his short hair. Yeah, a shower had been what he had needed.
As he stood there he couldn’t help but feel a little better. Even if talking to Sammy was embarrassing and talking to John had made him want to rip his ears off they had actually helped him feel better. He decided that he would talk to Cas one more time. Once more would he try to get under the boy’s skin and see if he couldn’t latch on. He wasn’t completely sure why he needed to make it work with Cas — other than it not working was reducing him to a pre-alcoholic state — but he did and that was a fact.
Besides, he knew that he was getting somewhere. Sure, Cas had pushed him away and sure, Dean had felt like a major fuck-up but still… he remembered the way Cas’ breath had hitched when he had felt Dean’s hard-on and Dean was pretty sure that being gay didn’t mean Cas wanted just any cock. No, he had been effected by Dean’s cock. It made Dean’s body tingle.
He didn’t know much about being gay though, hell he wasn’t even sure if he was bisexual himself or what the hell was going on but he knew damn well that he wouldn’t want to suck just anyone’s dick. That thought was actually somewhat revolting. Cas’ dick on the other hand…
Dean let his hands travel south, trailing the rivulets of warm water as it coiled down his torso and stomach. One hand came to rest on his hip and the other went farther down to caress his tights balls. He wasn’t in the least surprised to find himself already hard when he looked down.
He hadn’t dared think about Cas like this before. Or, rather, he had forced himself into believing that he didn’t want to. He had had two wet dreams but dreams were dreams and he couldn’t very well control that. Now, however, powered by the alcohol and the memory of Cas’ lips pressed against his, he gripped his hard dick and allowed himself to fantasize.
What would Cas look like naked? Dean stroked casually at first. Bet he’d look fucking amazing. He had a smaller build and his skin was pale compared to Dean’s. Such a fucking good contrast. Dean moaned lowly as he twisted his wrist on the upstroke and imagined Cas spread out beneath him. He didn’t really know the logistics about gay sex but goddamn he just wanted to touch Cas.
Just thinking about what Cas’ cock would look like made Dean speed up. He moaned deeper, remembering Cas’ hand on his dick, his chest, pressing firmly. God, bet Cas was stronger than he looked. He panted in the warm air and leaned one hand against the wall for support as he sped up even more. Cas’ slightly chapped lips had felt amazing, his kissing had challenged Dean in ways no woman had ever done and God his taste!
Dean bit his lower lip as he moaned much too loudly. The warm heat in the pit of his stomach grew, pre-come leaking out to mix with the water and he couldn’t help it anymore, chasing the high and loosing himself in the fantasy.
What would Cas do to him? The thought of Cas’ hands on him made him shake with desire. He spread his legs and leaned down a little, allowing himself leverage to thrust his hips against his own hand. It wasn’t enough. He wanted Cas to do it, wanted the boy to talk to him in that sinfully deep voice of his. Fuck, his voice was like whiskey and smoke and sex.
F-fuck. He stuttered, feeling the impending orgasm spreading throughout his lower region. Cas would maybe tell him off, maybe even spank Dean. Maybe he would lean in as Dean stroked himself and whisper in his ear. Call him a good boy, encouraging him to come. Maybe he would stand in front of Dean, displaying himself and beg Dean to come all over him, to spoil him and maybe he would fucking love Dean’s come on his pale skin. Would rub it in, would use it as lube as he fucked his own hand. Would moan Dean’s name in that gravelly voice.
Dean came with a strangled shout of Cas’ name, splattering the shower wall with sperm and slipping ungracefully to the floor as his knees gave out.
I don’t want you to hate me.
Cas nearly jumped three feet into the air and Dean knew immediately that he had gotten off on the wrong foot. For someone with invisibility-skills like Cas, being sneaked up upon was obviously scary as hell but Dean hadn’t thought that far ahead. He had just been so happy to find Cas by his locker that he had attempted to approach the boy in the least threatening manner he could muster, a.k.a. treating him like a damn gazelle. Goddamnit Dean felt like such a tool.
Sorry. He hastened to add and stepped closer while Cas was still catching his breath. Shit, the boy was as beautiful as ever. Wait. Beautiful? Okay, so he had jerked off to the thought of Cas but that was still cheesy as hell. Sexy. Yeah. Cas looked sexy as hell with his disheveled hair and big blue eyes staring widely at Dean as they stood close in the empty corridor.
I don’t, Cas swallowed hard.
I don’t hate you Dean. He concluded and Dean couldn’t help his stupid grin.
Yeah, now what the hell do you think you’re doing?
Dean frowned down at the smaller boy. Man, talking to Cas was like an emotional rollercoaster.
What do you mean? I needed to make sure you were okay after the yesterday… he trailed off when Cas narrowed his eyes at him.
I’m fucking sorry alright? he said, frustrated both with the situation and himself.
I shouldn’t have kissed you.
No, you shouldn’t have. Cas agreed, much to Dean’s dismay, and plucked some books out of his locker.
I didn’t do it as some kind of joke, Cas. This isn’t Candid Camera. And I didn’t do it just because you’re the only gay guy around, if that’s what you think. He added, his frustration growing.
I don’t think that Dean, it’s just—
I did it because you’re fucking hot, alright?! Dean exclaimed and Cas jumped again, looking over his shoulder but there was still no one there. Not this early in the morning.
Shut up. He hissed.
What the hell Dean?!
You don’t get anything, do you? Cas seethed and got all up in Dean’s face. Dean didn’t even care that he was angry. Cas this close was freaking awesome.
You can’t just come here and say shit like that. Dean frowned at him but before he could retort Cas had shoved him in the chest. He barely budged, the force being nowhere near enough to push him anywhere. It was cute.
You can’t just come here in your stupid Letterman and talk about stuff like that in the fucking open. Are you retarded?
Okay, that got Dean angry for real.
Is that what this is about? he asked, his voice low with fury and Cas actually took pause.
Because of a stupid jacket I can’t talk to you? I can’t want to kiss you? Well fuck that. In a fit of rage he tore the offensive clothing off his shoulders and shoved it in Cas’ locker, slamming the door shut before Cas could argue.
There, now can we talk?
Cas’ eyes actually softened and Dean’s heart skipped a beat.
Dean. Cas’ said, almost apologetically and Dean growled angrily, pressing closer to the other boy.
No. He said, crowding Cas against the locker and gently grabbing the boy’s face in his hands.
Tell me you want me to stop because you want it. Because you don’t like talking to me, watching me, he leaned in, their lips barely touching.
Kissing me. He whispered and Cas actually shivered in his grasp.
They were so close it was almost painful, Cas’ skin hot under Dean’s touch and his lips quivering against Dean’s, just out of reach.
Suddenly there was a loud bang and students began trickling in around them.
Goddamnit. Dean growled as he let Cas flee.
Dean just wanted to fucking vomit. Fuck this school, fuck the team, and fuck his life. He wanted to get back out there on the road, kill some goddamn vamp or salt a ghost or do just about anything that would make more sense than this bullshit.
As he trudged out onto the field for yet another practice he thought that he wanted nothing more than to get Cas’ phone number. He wanted to talk to the boy. Shit, he was so fucked up.
Cheer up Winchester. Alastair laughed and Dean wanted to punch him in the face.
Looks like your fans are back. He pointed up at the bleachers and Dean saw the regular crowd of flailing girls. The group had grown over the last couple of months and the team all believed it was because of Dean. Sure, Dean was still in reserve but he was out there in the field just as much as anyone during practice and apparently there was something appealing about him running around playing catch like a douche. Too bad the only one Dean wanted ogling him hadn’t showed up for any more practices. And he sure as hell wouldn’t start now, not after this morning, Dean thought. No, now he was sure to hate Dean and—
Dean stopped dead in his tracks. There, just slightly to the girls’ right sat Cas. And he was actually looking, looked to be searching even.
Dean gulped audibly and jogged out where he was certain Cas would notice him and he wasn’t disappointed. Cas visibly straightened when Dean came into view and Dean could barely contain his stupid grin. Cas was sitting close enough that Dean could read his body language but still too far off for his facial expressions to be clear but Dean didn’t fucking care. Cas was back.
Someone’s happy. Uriel said with a smirk and Dean couldn’t stop grinning even though he should.
Yeah. He said and then remembered who he was talking to.
I mean, he turned around and coughed awkwardly, unable to finish the sentence.
Relax dude. Uriel laughed.
They’re freshmen, not toddlers. I’m sure they could show you a trick or two.
And God knows you need it. Michael chimed in and Dean turned away from the bleachers completely, still unable to tear his eyes from Cas and not wanting to spoil the lie the guys had built for themselves.
You know, I don’t think I saw you getting any action on any of the parties you’ve attended.
Dean rolled his eyes.
Like I would just bend someone over the coffee table. He snarked and Uriel laughed loudly. Fuck his laugh was grating.
I would. Michael said, sick fuck.
Especially if that someone was as hot as that Bela Talbot. He pointed and waved when the girl in question perked up.
She’s totally got the hots for you Winchester.
Dean looked despite himself and the girl definitely seemed to like the attention, nearly swooning like a goddamn soap opera star. Dean tried not to sneer at her. When he sneaked a glance at Cas he saw the boy watching Bela as well, his shoulders hunched and his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Fuck, that was not a look he wanted Cas to wear. Stupid school. Stupid team.
He was just about to answer when Coach blew his stupid whistle and like good little sheep they flocked around him. Dean sighed and followed his teammates with a last glance back at Cas. Cas was looking at his feet.
It was twenty minutes later before Dean dared to look back up at the bleachers. He had definitely been performing above average again and he knew the reason why even if he couldn’t tell anyone. He stopped to take a sip of his water when his eyes fell on Cas and he nearly choked. Cas was sitting on the edge of his seat, his elbows on his knees and his head resting on his hands and he was really looking. Like this was the most intriguing thing he had ever seen. He straightened a little when he noticed Dean looking at him and Dean could swear that he made a miniscule wave. Fuck. Dean had already been running around fighting a stubborn semi just at the thought of Cas sitting there but to find out that he was really invested in Dean’s movements… And to have him wave like that.
Dean reached down and discreetly readjusted himself in his jockstrap. Turns out it wasn’t as discreet as he thought. At least not to Cas. Dean clearly saw him shifting in his seat. Oh fuck yes.
Dean tipped his head back, taking long gulps of his water and reached down, pulling at his pants as if they were chafing him. Nothing out of the ordinary there. No sir. Just a guy adjusting his pants around his dick. His jockstrap was pinching him. Not unheard of.
Cas caught the movement immediately. He shifted again and Dean wanted to fucking run up to him and suck his dick down his throat. Fuck he was hard now, the jockstrap pressing him down and for once he was grateful for it.
Cas’ eyes were glued on him and Dean stared back just as much. Unfortunately the girls seemed to think he was eye fucking one of them and they squealed and blushed and whistled at him, catching Coach’s attention.
Winchester! he yelled and Dean sighed audibly.
What the hell are you doing?
Hydrating. Dean spat back and Coach actually blinked at him for a moment before regaining his composure.
We’re not on water break. He said, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating. Please. Once he’d stared down the muzzle of a werewolf there was nothing a fifty-year-old football Coach at a high school could do to scare Dean.
So sue me. Dean sneered and tossed his water bottle to the ground before joining his teammates again. Coach let it go but Dean didn’t give a damn about him. One last look over his shoulder revealed even from this far that Cas was smirking. Motherfucker.
Good hustle boys. Coach said, slapping several of them on the shoulder as they were leaving the locker room.
Dean rolled his eyes but said nothing. He let the stream of sheep horde him out of the building and barely registered what his friends were talking about. Sports, most likely. Or the party Lisa Braeden was throwing this weekend. Whatever.
As they exited the building Dean saw that some of the freshmen girls were still lingering nearby. They approached but Dean managed to shuffle his way past them when they walked up to Alastair and some of the other guys. Bela was not among the girls and Dean felt immensely glad about that. He didn’t know if Michael was right or not but he didn’t care to find out either way.
When he turned the corner, making for a hasty retreat to the parking lot, he was stopped by someone grabbing his arm. Whirling around his heart nearly stopped when he saw Cas standing there, hiding from the team by pressing into the shadows.
Cas. He exclaimed, exhilarated, and he followed Cas into the shadows when the smaller boy stepped back.
You were great out there. Cas said, almost shyly and Dean beamed at him.
Cas nodded but before Dean could come any closer he shoved a bag at Dean.
I came to give you this.
Dean looked down and saw that his Letterman jacket was neatly folded and placed inside the bag. He frowned at it. Was this the only reason Cas had been to practice? This fucking jacket?
You didn’t have to.
You forgot it in my locker. Cas shrugged but Dean made an irritated face, accepting the bag reluctantly when Cas pressed it against his chest.
I’m sorry, I meant to throw it in the trash.
Dean, don’t. Cas said, sounding pained and Dean wanted to kiss him so bad his whole body ached from the need.
Cas. He breathed, stepping closer and Cas didn’t back away.
I saw you up there, you looked like you were enjoying watching me.
I was. Cas answered, his voice barely a whisper and Dean shuddered with raw need.
I enjoy your eyes on me. He confided, dropping the bag to the ground and placing his hands tentatively on Cas’ upper arms, stepping even closer.
Fuck, you have no idea what it does to me.
So tell me.
Shit, Cas’ voice was so deep, so demanding and so exactly what Dean needed. He licked his lips and leaned down to whisper in Cas’ ear.
Makes me so fucking hard Cas. He rasped and he could swear Cas was arching his back slightly.
Just thinking about you makes me hard but having you watch me? With those eyes, shit, Cas I could barely think out there. How do you think that feels? Running around with a hard-on trapped in a jockstrap?
Awful? Cas supplied and Dean licked his lips again, almost touching Cas’ ear with his tongue and he knew Cas could feel it.
Fucking awful. Dean agreed.
But at the same time… you watching me trying to conceal my erection. An erection you caused, an erection only for you. Fuck, it made me even harder.
Dean. Cas rumbled out and Dean couldn’t help himself and he fucking moaned, turning his head ever so slightly, catching his lips against Cas’ jawline.
The smaller boy was shuddering and obviously aroused and Dean wanted nothing more than to press him up against the wall and rut his cock against Cas’. But of fucking course not.
At the first sound of someone approaching Cas was out of sight so fast Dean started to think he was a ninja. Shit, if he wasn’t so small and so goddamn bullied he would have made a great asset to the team with his speed and dexterity.
Dean, there you are! Alastair called out and Dean wanted to punch something. Alastair, for example.
We were wondering where you’d run off to.
Just thought I’d leave you to the girls. Dean stated curtly, picking up the bag with his Letterman and started walking ahead of the guys to conceal his still raging hard-on.
We invited them to Lisa’s party. Michael informed him and Dean rolled his eyes. Luckily, no one seemed to see.
Bela too, by extension. Alastair teased and Dean unlocked the Impala.
Good for her. He grumbled and made a swift exit before anyone could say anything else. The drive home was long and torturous but the wank afterwards was rewarding, even if it left Dean feeling strangely empty.
Dean didn’t know why but he felt better. Sure, he still hated his
friends and the school was still boring but Cas was brilliant. Brilliant to look at, brilliant to listen to and just brilliant in general. Dean was quickly descending into chick-flick moments every time he caught sight of the boy. Thankfully, no one had seemed to notice. Yet. He would have to be fucking careful and he knew it but after what had happened after his practice Tuesday he couldn’t bring himself to think about anything else than Cas watching him play football. He wanted that again.
Unfortunately, Cas was still avoiding him in general and Dean soon resorted to kindergarten-levels of attention-seeking. Meaning he threw a crumbled ball of paper at Cas’ head.
Dean and the guys were standing outside their history classroom, waiting for the teacher and Dean caught sight of Cas making his way cautiously down the corridor, dodging the rest of the students that were swarming around him. Dean heard someone yell faggot and he assumed it was aimed at Cas but Cas just strode on, confident in his own way.
Reacting fast, Dean tore a piece of paper from his note book and scrabbled down ‘Practice tomorrow?’ before balling it in his fist and chucking it at Cas just as the boy was walking past.
He had aimed for the books Cas was carrying, hoping for the paper to lodge there or something as equally awesome but of course not. The paper ball bounced right off Cas’ left temple and there was a heart-wrenching moment where Dean thought Cas would just keep walking but then Uriel laughed boomingly.
Right in the head, goddamn Winchester. He shouted and several others who had witnessed the incident laughed too.
Cas turned his icy stare at Dean and Dean hastened to mouth ‘sorry’ and ‘read it’. He helped out by pointing at the ball, hoping that his little finger poking out wouldn’t be too little for Cas to notice.
Cas narrowed his eyes but picked up the paper nonetheless.
Woah, gonna retaliate, bean sprout? Alastair challenged, still laughing and for a moment it looked like Cas actually would take him up on that but then the boy just turned around and walked away.
Dean breathed a little sigh, content that he had at least succeeded with getting his message to Cas. Goddamn he needed to get Cas’ student records and see if he had a phone number listed. He tracked Cas with his eyes and to his surprise Cas actually unraveled the paper ball right there in the corridor and stopped to read it just as the bell rang, calling them into their classrooms. Dean lingered, however, and was rewarded when Cas turned his head and gave Dean that little secret smile of his.
Suffice to say, Dean felt like a fucking champ the rest of the day.
Sucks that you have to leave.
I know. John said with a sigh and accepted his duffle bag when Dean handed it to him.
I’ll try to get back as soon as I can, okay?
Yeah, yeah. Dean muttered, more irritated on Sammy’s behalf than for himself.
Don’t get yourself killed.
That’s not even funny. John stated but he was smiling. It made Dean angry.
I know. He fumed and John stopped to look at him where he stood beside the pick-up.
You shouldn’t be out there alone.
Dean. John sighed again.
I’m not completely alone.
Finish high school at least. John said with finality and Dean hated being treated like a child but he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from totally ruining the moment.
Fine. He said, his tone level and John nodded.
Besides, you’re adapting pretty quick. The both of you.
John frowned at Dean’s grumpy face.
I heard you’re going to a party tomorrow, how… he looked like he didn’t know where to begin and Dean sympathized a little with him. God knew John had stopped treating Dean like a kid long ago and now that he was starting to again it felt odd for the both of them.
How often does that happen? he finished lamely and Dean rolled his eyes.
Don’t worry. He said firmly.
I’m not neglecting Sammy.
John frowned again.
That’s not what I’m worried about.
No. He shook his head.
Dean, just a little while ago I saw you downing half my JD like it was water, tell me that isn’t a problem.
Dean stood stock still, eyebrows so far up his forehead they were practically on the moon.
Are you saying I should watch myself on a high school party?
Hey. John said heatedly and turned to face Dean wholly.
There’s a lot of shit going on there.
I’ve seen a lot of shit go on with the hunters too and that was okay. He sounded much more resentful than he felt but John’s eyes softened.
It was never okay son. He said tiredly.
It was just the only thing I knew. Now… he trailed off and looked up at the house.
Now we’re actually trying.
Dean smiled then, suddenly feeling melancholic.
Sure dad. He said and John smiled back at him.
I’ll watch myself and I won’t drink too much and I’ll be home in time to send Sammy to bed.
Don’t mock me. John grumbled and turned to get into the pick-up but Dean could see him still smiling.
And hey, maybe your mystery X’ll be there?
I doubt that.
Why? John slammed the door and leaned out of the open window.
X not interesting to you anymore?
I… Dean looked away.
He is but I’m taking it slow.
John nodded and decided to overlook the slip Dean unconsciously had made without even noticing himself. Instead, he leaned out and patted Dean on his shoulder.
Good for you son.
Yeah. Dean looked back at him, his green eyes shining.
Yeah, it is.
All the guys could talk about was the party they were going to tonight but all Dean could think about as they jogged out on the field was if he would find Cas on the bleachers or not. He was so not disappointed.
The crowd of girls and friends was bigger now because it was Saturday and also, Dean guessed, because of the party half of the school and the whole team was attending later. Dean wasn’t complaining, however, the crowd’s size had driven Cas closer to the field. He was still situated far off from the others and Dean could see some of them pointing at him and laughing. Dean had to swallow his anger in favor of basking in Cas’ attention.
The boy visibly perked up when his eyes met Dean’s and Dean’s heart picked up a pace quicker than any practice could produce. He smiled and was thrilled when he saw Cas duck his head and smile too.
See something you like, Winchester? Alastair asked and slung an arm around Dean’s shoulders.
Yeah. Dean said dreamily before he could catch himself and Alastair laughed.
Don’t worry. He jostled Dean.
You’ll get to hit her at the party.
Dean stopped himself the millisecond before he asked who the hell Alastair was talking about. Looking over at the regular crowd of girls, however, it was painfully clear to him what his teammate was talking about. Bela had obviously dressed up and Dean recognized the fact that she was smoking hot. If it wasn’t for Cas Dean would absolutely hit her. And fucking quit her. He didn’t need brainless tittering following him around.
When he looked over at Cas he noticed the smaller boy squinting angrily at Bela. He stopped the moment one of the crowd looked over at him but Dean smirked to himself. It looked like Cas was jealous. It shouldn’t feel good but it did.
He took his sweet time stretching, standing a little off to the side and bending over oh so slowly, presenting his ass like a fucking whore and loving it. He could practically hear Cas’ breath hitch all the way down on the field.
He wondered what Cas would do if Dean bent down like this when they were alone. Would he press close to Dean’s back? Slot himself between Dean’s ass cheeks? Dean hadn’t even known that that had been an option to him but as he stood stretching out his calves he couldn’t help thinking it would be awesome to feel Cas’ hard-on pressing against his ass, even through clothes.
It was the wrong thing to think about for sure and he ended up having to perform yet another practice with an uncomfortable semi. When he chanced to look up at Cas he could see that the boy was hunched over, almost curled in on himself and Dean knew what that meant. God, it made Dean even harder and the next pass Alastair threw to him hit him straight in the head.
Fucking hell, the party was tedious. Why the hell had he even gone? Right. Keeping appearances. Playing the part.
Dean muttered irritably to himself as he took another swing of the beer he had been nursing. Even drinking alone and sad was better than drinking with these assholes, he reflected dully. He should just go home. If he bailed now there would still be time to buy burgers for him and Sammy and maybe catch the end of whichever Die Hard was on rerun tonight.
Isn’t this great? Lisa asked as she suddenly plopped down on the couch beside him and it was only years of hunter training that made him not jump up shrieking like a little girl. Man, he had really been in his own world.
Yeah. He managed to press out before taking another swing. Lisa seemed drunk as hell.
Literally everyone’s here. She beamed, like having her parents’ house trashed when they were out of town was something to be proud of. Dean felt so fucking old.
Well, not every-everyone. He stated and she frowned at him with her perfectly plucked eyebrows.
What do you mean? I even invited the nerds and they actually came! she sounded like that was a bit scandalous and Dean looked down at the beer bottle as if it was to blame for what he said next.
Castiel Novak isn’t here.
Lisa laughed loudly and it sounded like little silver bells chiming. Dean hated it.
Why would the Novak baby be here? she used the opportunity of the mirth to lean closer to him and he gritted his teeth.
He shrugged but she didn’t take the hint and only slid closer on the couch.
You said everyone so… he trailed off when she put a hand on his inner thigh, just a little too close to home to be appropriate.
I’ve noticed you staring at that Talbot girl. Lisa practically purred, changing topic so fast that Dean got a mental whiplash.
You think she’s pretty?
Dean shrugged again.
Guess so. He got distracted by her fingernails raking over the zipper on his jeans and the fact that he hadn’t had time to rub one out between practice and coming here.
Wouldn’t you rather have a real woman instead? she breathed in his ear and he caught her wrist before she had time to feel his cock twitching. Treacherous bastard. Dean wanted no fucking woman. Well, if Cas actually turned out to be a woman in disguise then he guessed he wanted one woman. Dean wanted Cas.
I think I should leave. He said firmly when she just put her other hand on his leg instead.
Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you actually have feelings for the little skank?
Dean shook his head. He fucking hated this crowd. He rose to his feet and didn’t even look back at her, not dignifying her with an answer and not turning when she called out his name. Some people were looking at the two of them but Dean didn’t care. He was so fucking done.
On his way out he got stopped by Bela. Of course. Welcome to my life, Dean thought irritably as Bela turned her doe-eyes on him.
Hi Dean. She said lowly and Dean could clearly see that she had made yet another effort to dress to please him. He sighed internally. Bela seemed nice and all and he really didn’t feel like hurting her feelings but here he was.
Hi Bela. He answered automatically and she got a look of concern on her face.
Are you alright? You look tired.
Yeah. He nodded, just going with it.
Guess that ball I took to the head at practice hit harder than I thought.
She smiled but thankfully didn’t try to put her hands on him. He already liked her better than Lisa.
Tell me about it, I got so worried when you went down.
He smiled despite himself. He had fallen and when he had gotten up immediately again — because hello, helmet — he had seen that half of the audience had gotten to their feet, Cas included. Cas’ concerned face had made him all warm and he had waved cockily, all of the on-lookers laughing in relief and sitting down again. The last one to sit had been Cas, obviously still concerned. Dean grinned like an idiot even now, just thinking about it.
Nothing to worry about. He said to Bela and pointed to the door.
I’m just gonna leave though, I am tired.
Oh. Bela looked crestfallen and Dean felt like an ass.
She swallowed, obviously trying to be brave.
Lisa told me that you’d want to talk to me at this party.
Dean scowled so hard it hurt his face muscles.
Then maybe you should talk to Lisa about what her hand was doing groping my dick not two minutes ago.
It was the wrong thing to say, obviously. Bela went beet red and he could already see her lower lip quivering. Goddamnit these people were awful. Had this been Lisa’s plan all along? To humiliate Bela and possibly Dean too? He wanted to comfort Bela, he really did, because none of this was her fault. She couldn’t help falling for Dean’s worthless piece of shit ass and she couldn’t help that she in no way could measure up to Cas’ brilliance. And she couldn’t fucking help that the rest of this school were such fucking douche bags.
But he didn’t even get a chance to touch her shoulder before she stormed off. Dean took that as his cue to leave.
But as he reached his car fate had yet another set-back waiting for him. He heard the footsteps coming his way and turned as the guy yelled out:
Hey, wait up bro!
Dean sighed and opened the door of the Impala.
Look, bro, I don’t really have time to—Gabriel? he cut himself off when he saw the smaller man approach him.
Gabriel stopped in his tracks and eyed Dean warily.
You know my name?
Dean’s cheeks heated. Luckily there was very little lighting out in the street.
Yeah, well, Alastair gave me a thorough tour.
Gabriel nodded, seemingly accepting this as an explanation and Dean shifted as he waited.
You’re leaving already? Gabriel said eventually and Dean couldn’t help that he rolled his eyes.
Goddamn you people have a problem with people leaving parties too soon.
Yeah, it makes you look like a tool. The guy grinned and Dean wanted to point out that the man’s younger brother wasn’t even there but he refrain. As if he had heard Dean’s thoughts Gabriel turned to them.
I heard you mentioning Castiel in there.
Dean squinted in suspicion.
Yeah? What of it?
I’m just wondering why?
And why is that? I’m not allowed to ask about your baby brother?
Something hardened in Gabriel’s eyes.
Look, I know you jocks think you are the height of evolution, he started, his voice dangerously low, and leaned into Dean’s personal space.
But Castiel is a good kid. Don’t go dragging him down in your shit.
Dean held his gaze for a long time, big brother to big brother stare-down, before nodding once. Gabriel seemed to accept this as he nodded too and turned to leave.
I knew it. Dean said before Gabriel could get out of earshot, unable to contain himself.
Gabriel turned in the middle of a stride.
Alastair said not even Cas’ brothers cared about him but I’m a big brother too; I’ve seen your looks. He slid into the Impala and winked at Gabriel’s stunned face.
And I know.
Chapter 3: pt. 13-16
In which Dean gets some gratification during practice and later learns some hard facts
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Dean was so happy to find Cas sitting under his tree that he didn’t care about his stomach growling at the fact that he was missing lunch. And when Cas actually smiled a little at him Dean thought he was going to have a heart-attack.
He sat down ungracefully beside the boy.
Hiya. He said and grinned stupidly but he couldn’t help it. It had been the longest Sunday of Dean’s life.
Hello Dean. Cas answered and marked the page in his book before closing it.
You’re back here.
I guess I just thought that if you’d wanted to reveal my hiding place you would’ve done it by now.
Dean was only a little hurt that Cas still thought Dean capable of something like that but he quickly forgot about it. The autumn sun was shining down on them and it made Cas’ eyes sparkle.
Dean scooted closer and was pleased when Cas straightened out his legs, almost as if inviting Dean.
Did you enjoy practice Saturday? he asked, uncharacteristically shy and his heart fluttered when Cas nodded.
I did. You’re good. He looked up and honest to God smiled at Dean.
Didn’t like it when you got hit by the ball but I liked other parts for sure.
Yeah? Dean breathed and leaned closer. Cas sat still.
I have to admit, I believe it was those other parts that made me miss the pass.
Cas cocked an eyebrow in obvious amusement.
Dean chuckled and dared to put a hand on Cas’ thigh, this was going better than he’d hoped. Cas still didn’t move.
Yeah, I kinda suck, huh?
Cas said nothing for a while but Dean could see him breathing hard through his nose and he could practically see the thought process that raged behind Cas’ gorgeous eyes. He wanted to lean in and lick the boy’s lips.
I didn’t like… he said eventually and Dean was torn back to the present.
You didn’t like what? he asked gently and bent forward. When Cas’ fierce eyes met his he felt his breath hitch.
I don’t like the girls looking at you like that.
Fuck. Dean muttered, barely audibly. He had been right. Cas was jealous. It was for some reason so fucking hot that Dean had a hard time breathing right.
You didn’t like them seeing? he asked and Cas was still scowling.
Even though you know it’s only for you, you didn’t want them seeing any of me, is that it? Dean had leaned even closer, half-way draping himself over Cas’ smaller form.
Thought you said I should leave you alone, didn’t think you’d care. He teased best he could while his dick was trying to break free of his jeans. Fuck, Cas looking at him all demandingly made Dean warm all over.
I care. Cas breathed against Dean’s lips and Dean practically whimpered because that was apparently the kind of person he was now. A whimpering mess.
Wish you’d been to the party, Cas. He all but moaned.
You would’ve cared the shit out of Lisa trying to grope me.
He didn’t know who initiated the kiss. All he knew was that Cas was angry and angry kissing with Cas was awesome. Cas grabbed a hold on Dean’s Letterman and pulled him closer, sliding down the tree and Dean followed more than willingly, draping himself completely over Cas and bracing his weight on his underarms on either side of Cas’ head, the kissing never stopping.
Cas kissed like he fucking meant it. Tongue hot and demanding and it stole Dean’s breath at every turn. Cas’ hands were travelling down Dean’s body, pushing his tee out of the way, nails scraping against Dean’s skin and Dean couldn’t fucking help grinding his hips down hard.
They both groaned when they felt each other’s cocks and Dean had to take a pause to fucking breathe.
Shit. He mumbled and shifted his weight to one arm to get one free to touch Cas. The boy’s chest was heaving and he looked even more disheveled than usual.
I should get random girls to touch me more often. Dean tried to joke but Cas narrowed his eyes and one of his hands shot down to grab Dean’s erection through his jeans.
Dean keened and bucked down. Cas’ hand on him felt amazing. Even as Dean bent down again to catch the boy’s smirking lips in another bruising kiss Cas didn’t falter in his stroke. Dean wanted to reciprocate. Wanted to touch and to kiss Cas’ whole body. Wanted the boy fucking naked underneath him.
Fuck. He stuttered out.
You feel amazing babe.
Cas grinned up at him and Dean’s cheeks heated when he realized he had used the pet name but Cas didn’t seem to mind. Instead he pulled his hands back and placed both of them above his head, snaking his legs around Dean’s hips to slot their clothed cocks together. Then he fucking rolled his hips and Dean groaned loudly into the crook of his neck, nearly blacking out for a second.
Fucking hell, Cas was good at this. He was pushing every button Dean didn’t even know he had and Dean couldn’t get enough. Couldn’t for the life of him draw a big enough breath and he didn’t fucking care. Cas was writhing beneath him and when Dean rolled his hips with him he arched his back, moaning throatily and slamming his hands hard against the ground.
You like it like this, Cas? he rasped, his voice growing hoarse and Cas shuddered when Dean grabbed a hold of his wrists, pinning them to the ground above his head.
You’d like me to hold you down while we do this? he panted, bucking hard against Cas’ willing body.
When I fuck you?
Cas groaned again, deep and loud and he arched his back hard, presenting his neck and bobbing Adam’s apple. Dean fucking whimpered again when he saw the effect he was having. It was all he ever wanted and at the same time too much. God, he needed to come. Felt it in every fiber of his body. His mouth was dry and his dick was fucking on fire, the zipper chafing and the jeans confining but shit, this felt amazing.
Suddenly there was a loud ringing and Cas’ eye flew open as the bell tolled, signaling the end of lunch break. Dean stilled as Cas did and they just stared at each other for a moment, sweaty and still so very hard against each other.
Then Cas’ jaw set and Dean wanted to weep.
No. He almost pleaded.
Let me up Dean. Cas said in that rumbling voice of his and Dean almost thought he would come just from that.
Just-just a little longer Cas, please. I need you was on his tongue but he couldn’t say it. Not yet.
Don’t make me late. Don’t draw attention to me, Dean. Cas warned but he didn’t make a move to throw Dean off. Probably knew he wouldn’t be able to. If Dean was an asshole he could just take what he wanted. Wouldn’t even take that long either. Would probably have been faster than this goddamn conversation. If only Dean was an asshole.
Don’t start avoiding me again. He said as he sat up to lean against the tree while Cas collected his things. It had been meant to sound threateningly but to Dean it came out as a plea.
Cas actually smiled at him.
I’ll see you around Dean. He said and left without another look over his shoulder.
Dean didn’t give a rat’s ass about attention or class and his painful hard-on thanked him for it. But when he finally came it left him feeling even emptier than before.
Dean was irritated. No, that wasn’t right…
Dean was fucking angry and a thorn in everyone else’s ass. Yes, that was more applicable.
Of fucking course Cas would keep avoiding him. Of course when Dean went back to the forest Cas wouldn’t be there and he sure as hell wasn’t there the day after either. Dean was practically chewing his teeth to little stubs with anger. Sam had noticed but had opted to stay out of the way. Smart kid. Too bad the football team was made up of idiots. Maybe it was that they didn’t know Dean well enough and didn’t know to keep away when he was angry or maybe they were just that stupid. Dean rooted for door number two.
Alastair had immediately thought this had something to do with Dean leaving the party so early and Dean wanted to tell him that that party was days ago and he hadn’t been angry when he had gotten to school Monday morning but what the hell did it matter? If they thought his anger and frustration had something to do with the catfight between Lisa and Bela it was all for the better to him.
At least now, he thought as he followed his teammates out onto the field, he wouldn’t have to deal with the insane groups of girls during practice. Oh, how wrong he was.
Apparently the girls and their friends had split up into different camps, scattering out on the bleachers and staring each other down angrily.
Woah! Uriel commented intelligently.
It’s team Bela and team Lisa competing for Winchester’s heart.
The guys actually laughed but Dean eyed the groups suspiciously, quickly coming to the conclusion that this had nothing to do with him. Not actually. The girls might use him as a pretense but this was obviously the older girls defending their territory against the younger up-and-comers. So fucking stupid.
Dean sighed audibly.
Let’s just get to practice. He muttered and kept walking.
Someone’s got their nuts in a twist. Alastair commented to the other guys’ mirth. They laughed and slapped him on the back but he just kept walking.
Oh if only they knew. What he and Cas had done yesterday was still fresh in Dean’s mind and he got so freaking hard just thinking about the lithe body wriggling beneath him but no matter how much he jerked off it didn’t satisfy. It was just empty and honestly it made him sad rather than satisfied. At this point he’d rather take blue balls than the feeling of disgust he was dealing with at the moment. He just wanted to fucking hold Cas, was that too much to ask?
Try not to get another ball to the head today, princess. Michael laughed as the guys started jogging before warm-up.
I know the audience can be a distraction for your unseasoned ass.
Yeah, yeah. He answered testily and went over to the water stand instead, so not feeling up for running around like a tool, throwing some shitty ball around. Fucking hell, he wanted to gank something.
He took a big swing of the water but nearly choked as his eyes landed on the one thing he never would have expected.
Close to the field but still well-off from the rest of the on-lookers sat Cas, balled up in a big trench coat against the autumn wind but still looking awesome. His hair ruffled every time the wind blew by and his eyes were still as bright as ever.
When their eyes met his plump lips quirked in that way that Dean knew was a smile. A smile for Dean. Cas had come to practice. Willingly. Dean quickly scanned his brain for a reason for Cas to come here. A forgotten item? A promise? Anything? But he came up empty.
Shit, Cas is here because he wants to, he thought and felt his cheeks heat, which was strange because he could swear all of his blood had rushed south at the realization. He hastened to put his hands, the water bottle, his helmet, anything in front of his crotch but fucking of course Cas would notice.
The boy smirked coyly at him and at this distance Dean could clearly see it and it made everything worse. And awesome.
Of course, if Cas could see, so could the rest of the audience so Dean did the only thing he could think about that wouldn’t mean he would have to break eye-contact with Cas. He slid to the ground, sitting half-way turned away from the bleachers but with Cas still in his vision.
Languidly, he stretched one leg out in front of himself and bent over it a little. Nothing strange with a football player wanting to stretch before practice, right?
But Cas knew. Oh, Cas knew everything. Dean smiled to himself when he saw Cas curling in on himself on his seat. He had his hands between his thighs, as if he was shielding them from the wind, maybe warming them even. But fuck they were too close to his crotch for that to be true in Dean’s mind.
Dean bit his lip and tried not to moan as he thought about Cas’ hard-on. He was till out in the fucking open, people all around him and some of them probably still looking at him but man, it just made it hotter.
He leaned down further, trying to reach his foot and very minutely rolled his hips forward. Pleasure shot down his spine like a fucking knife and he very barely managed not to rut down again, harder. He put one hand on the ground and looked up through his lashes at Cas. Wrong move. Cas was shifting in his curled-over state and his cheeks were blushed.
Dean rolled his hips again. The jockstrap was pressing hard against his dick but shit it just felt so good, even in the confined state. The feel of the cloth scraping over his sensitive flesh, Cas’ heated gaze, it was all amazing and when Dean remembered kissing Cas he couldn’t help the little moan that escaped him. He reached down, managing to touch his foot, which made him lie almost flat against the ground. It suited him perfectly as his dick finally met with some real friction. Goddamn he wanted Cas’ hands on him, soothing him, encouraging him.
Dean rolled his hips faster but the miniscule movements were just teasing him. Tears of frustration threatened to form and he bit his lip harder. Looking up he could see that Cas was on the edge of his seat and Dean wanted to think he was close because God knew Dean was.
His breath was coming in short gasps and his groin was on fire. Every roll shot down his spine and if Dean hadn’t already been sitting his legs would’ve given out.
What are you doing, Winchester?
Dean nearly died. Seriously. People cock-blocking was now top on Dean’s kill-list. Fuck the yellow-eyed demon, Alastair Heyerdahl was now top priority.
Dean turned around and glared at his teammate.
Cramp. He pressed out.
Okay. Alastair said uncertainly, clearly taking in Dean’s red face and weird posture.
Do you need help?
Hell no! Dean barked.
Do I look like a fucking girl, go grab someone else’s ass.
Fine. He muttered but obviously chalked this conversation up to Dean’s earlier bad mood having worsened. He left without another word and Dean thanked whatever God was listening for that.
As he turned back his gaze to Cas he could see the motherfucker smirking at him. Even if Dean’s libido didn’t need help getting back on track it sure got a boost from that. Cas obviously liked Dean hot and desperate and now it seemed he also enjoyed Dean almost getting caught. Dean didn’t know what to feel about that, except aroused and even more desperate to come.
Cas made a rolling motion with his hand, indicating that he wanted to Dean to continue and Dean wondered if Cas’ easy composure had something to do with him already having creamed his pants. Or maybe he wasn’t even aroused? No, Dean decided as he complied and bent down once again to roll his dick against his jockstrap. He could see, even from this far, how Cas’ breath deepened and he knew what he had seen before. Either Alastair’s appearance had scared the arousal out of Cas or he had already come. Either way, Dean was sweating from the implications.
His body shook as he straightened and switched legs. This would conceal his crotch form the audience on the bleacher but he knew Cas would still know and at this point Dean could barely be bothered. He needed to come.
He reached down and made to itch his thigh while he met Cas’ eyes. The boy was staring greedily, bending forwards as if to get as close as possible and Dean’s heart jumped. He
scratched harder and Cas made a little bob with his head, encouraging Dean to just fucking do it and Dean couldn’t have stopped that orgasm even if he had wanted to.
One touch to his dick, one slide of the heel of his hand and he was coming so hard black spots danced before his eyes. He could feel everything. His spunk shot out so hard he saw it dribble through all the layers of his clothes, forming a massive wet spot. His shuddered and tried to conceal it by bending forwards again.
Shit. He whispered, feeling a thousand times better. Fuck, he didn’t even know he could come that hard and Cas hadn’t even touched him.
When he finally looked up it was because Coach was blowing his whistle, calling his sheep to him. Cas had at some point left the bleachers, possibly to get out of his soiled pants. Was that why he had worn the trench coat? To be able to conceal any evidence? As if he had hoped for something to happen or perhaps because he didn’t trust himself to be able to hold back. Shit, Dean hoped so with his whole being.
He eventually got up on shaky legs, resisting the urge to run up to Cas’ seat and sniff it, and started heading towards the locker room.
Winchester! Coach yelled after him.
Where the hell do you think you’re going?
To take a dump. He barked back and continued walking defiantly.
The team only stopped laughing after Coach had given them twenty penalty laps but what the hell did Dean care about that? Cas had come to practice, willingly. Had come for Dean.
When Dean slammed Cas’ locker door shut before his eyes the sound was so loud that not only Cas but half of the students in the corridor jumped from it.
You and me need to talk. Dean said darkly and leaned in threateningly. Students around them made themselves scarce but Dean’s threat was clearly lost on Castiel. Oh, he kept an outward appearance but Dean’s knees went weak when his eyes met Cas’ lust-blown pupils.
Fine. Cas gritted out and Dean proceeded with shoving Cas towards an empty classroom.
Jeers and shouts of wishes of ass-kicking followed them but they both ignored it in favor of trying to appear angry and on edge. Or angry at least. Dean was definitely on edge, his cock already pressing against his jeans at the sight of Cas’ slim back.
He tried to shift his Letterman so that the jacket reached down to conceal it and gripped Cas’ shoulder hard when he almost passed the classroom Dean has scoped out beforehand. He yanked the door open, pushing Cas inside and that was the last anyone saw of them for a while.
Cas had his arms crossed when Dean turned to him, little smirk dancing on his chapped lips.
Now, what’s so important that—
Dean interrupted him by shoving him up against the wall beside the door, pressing his body against him and crushing their lips together. Cas honest to God moaned into Dean’s open-mouth kiss. Dean grinded his already hard dick against Cas’ awakening one.
You think, Dean panted and reached down to Cas’ hips.
That you can just come to practice, he gripped hard and pulled Cas’ rump up so that he had to snake his legs around Dean’s waist or lose his footing.
And do that to me and think I would leave you alone?
Cas’ whole by shuddered as their dicks pressed against one another in this new position.
D-do what? he stuttered and Dean bent down to suck at his neck.
Don’t fucking play with me Novak. Dean grunted and Cas gripped his hair.
Made me come in front of everybody, like a whore. You liked that?
Cas rolled his hips against Dean’s.
Yes. He groaned out, his gravelly voice gruff with arousal and Dean so did not whimper, his bravado all but lost.
Fuck, Cas. He moaned and licked Cas’ jaw.
Not here asshole. Cas answered but his tone was playful and the implication of his words had Dean leaking in his pants.
Fucking hell, he had only wanted to tease Cas a bit. This was so not going according to plan. He could not come in his pants again. He didn’t have any spare boxers with him today.
Reluctantly he let go of the boy and Cas slid down the wall a little before his legs got the hint. He looked up at Dean with hooded eyes and Dean shuddered under their scrutiny. Cas trusting him to do something like this in such a public place made Dean weak in the knees.
He leaned against the wall, towering over Cas’ smaller frame and just breathed in the scent of the boy. Goddamn, Cas was like a drug.
Give me your phone. He pressed out and there was only a second’s hesitation on Cas’ part before he handed Dean the device. Dean was swimming in confidence as he quickly opened up a new text message and sent a blank one to himself.
What are you doing? Cas asked, his voice still thick with desire but Dean could hear the trepidation.
Relax baby. Dean smiled and reached behind Cas to put the phone in the back pocket of the boy’s jeans, copping a feel at the same time.
I’ve just wanted your number for a while now. He winked and was rewarded with Cas actually smiling shyly at him.
So we’re done here? he asked and Dean wanted to fall to his knees and mouth at Cas’ erection. What the hell was the boy doing to him? Making him a goddamn cock-slut. Dean loved it.
He licked his lips and a thrilled shiver ran through him when he saw Cas tracing the movement of his tongue.
Yeah. He breathed deeply and Cas’ eyes were black with arousal.
Good. He said simply, making Dean feel a little self-conscious but he tried not to show it. He knew Cas wanted nothing to do with him in school and for good reasons. He got that. He just wished it wasn’t so. Then suddenly Cas reached down and grabbed Dean’s erection. His hand was firm and sure and Dean’s knees buckled so bad that he had to catch himself against the wall above Cas’ head.
C-Cas. He groaned, loving the confident way Cas handled him as he bucked against him.
Now I’m expecting a call Dean. Cas mumbled against Dean’s ear.
Don’t disappoint me.
He smirked once before exiting the room and Dean leaned heavily against the wall. He fucking loved that Cas had seemed to get the memo, that he finally seemed to understand that Dean just wanted him. And he loved that Cas seemed to be a kinky and demanding sex-partner. He fucking loved Ca—woah!
So yeah… the sex was shaping up to be promising.
Dean was whistling as he flipped the pancakes he had deemed okay for dinner-time. Sam was eyeing him suspiciously from where he was sitting at the kitchen table, homework spread out in front of him. Dean didn’t care. He had gotten Cas’ number and Cas wanted him to call. That was so freaking fantastic Dean couldn’t think of any way better to express it than whistling off tune Led Zeppelin.
Okay, just… Sammy sighed and put down his pen to card his hand through his unruly mop of hair.
Just what? Dean asked happily and actually managed to flip the pancake without destroying it. Man, he was on a roll.
What the hell dude?
Language. Dean reprimanded but his tone took any of the scolding out of the word.
Just yesterday you were so angry I thought you were gonna crash the car.
I would never hurt Baby.
Dean, look at me.
Dean sighed a little but turned nonetheless.
What’s going on?
Dean frowned when he saw Sam’s actually concerned face. Was it so out of the ordinary for him to be happy that it actually made his baby brother worried? He should really try to control his mood-swings.
Nothing. He shrugged.
Just happy now that we’re home.
Sammy scrunched up his face in an epic bitch-face.
Okay, I’m not pretending anymore.
What? Dean felt like a broken record but if that was anyone’s fault it was Sam’s.
Do you think I’m stupid Dean? I’m thirteen, not deaf. Can we talk about you and X? Or should I say Cas?
All blood drained from Dean’s face.
Where… Where’d you get that name?
As I said. Sam stated dryly.
I’m not deaf. Do you think the shower is soundproof or something?
Oh God. Dean turned around and hid his face in his hands.
Exactly my thought. Sam snorted.
I mean, we’re both dudes, of course I know you do that but I don’t need to hear it.
Fucking hell. Dean whispered and turned off the stove when he saw that the pancake was beyond salvageable. He put the pan to the side and plopped down on the chair opposite Sam, not looking at his brother.
I don’t even know what to say.
Say you’ll use a gag or something next time.
Dean winced pathetically.
And tell me about this Cas. Sammy’s voice was gentle and when Dean looked up he was rewarded with a smile.
It sounds like she’s really gotten under your skin, are you happy because it’s going well?
Dean bobbed his head in a noncommittal nod.
Yeah. And before you ask anything else, yes, the reason I was angry before was because I thought it’d gone to hell.
Is she playing with you? Sam asked, sounding a little stern, like he was trying to protect Dean and Dean thought it was adorable but what the hell did he know? Lately he thought everything was adorable.
No Sammy. He promised.
Just still uneasy about my intentions.
Are you gonna tell me who it is now?
Dean made a grimace.
What does it matter?
I already got half of the name. Sam pointed out and Dean thought his brother should be a lawyer or something.
There are a lot of people that could be a ‘Cas’. He tapped his fingers against his chin in thought and Dean realized with dread that this was a losing battle.
Oh, I know. He smiled triumphantly.
Is it Cassie Robinson?
Dean made confused face.
Aw, c’mon. She’s a senior, in the glee club. Beautiful.
Sounds like she should be your girlfriend. Dean tried to tease but Sam was clearly not done.
Let’s see, who else do we have on C? he continued, clearly ignoring Dean.
Casey? She’s pretty and she seems funny but I think she’s into that guy Richie, don't you?
Dean was sweating by now. He should just leave.
I dunno. He groused.
Callie Garrison? Sam asked excitedly.
No, that’s c-a-l… Claire?
Castiel! Dean shouted, unable to cope with Sammy’s onslaught anymore.
Dean folded his arms on the table and hid his face against them.
Yes! I fucking like a boy, alright?! Goddamnit, I—wait. He looked up and saw that Sam was looking at him with soft eyes. Instead of disgust. Huh.
Do you know about him?
What do you mean?
Sammy leaned forward and put a gentle hand on Dean’s arm.
Look, Dean, I don’t care if you’re gay or whatever if that’s what you’re worried about.
They looked at each other for a while, Sam clearly trying to convey his feelings of acceptance and Dean had to clear his throat before speaking.
Okay. He mumbled.
Cool. I guess.
So, you actually like someone?
Dean snorted and batted Sammy’s hand away.
Whatever. He’s… He’s just cool and stuff.
Hold on. Dean straightened and actually felt better now that Sam knew. Now they could talk and for some reason Dean found himself wanting to talk about Cas.
You know about him? he asked again and frowned when Sam looked away uncomfortably.
He’s hard to miss when everyone points him out all the time.
Dean had thought Cas was fucking awesome at hiding but maybe Dean was stupider than he cared to admit.
Yeah, he’s pretty bullied. I hate it.
Sam looked confused.
Bullied? Yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it.
Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
How would you put it? he asked, more testily than he had intended and was rewarded with a knowing smirk from his little brother.
I would say that half the school hates him and half loves him. Sam paused to let his words sink in.
And that love makes them hate him too so okay, bullied. He conceded.
I’m… I’m not following.
Sam actually laughed at that.
You must really like him, Dean. He said and leaned back when Dean swiped at his arm.
You’re so deep on the love-side you can’t even see anything going on around you.
So enlighten me. Dean gritted out and barely resisted getting up and pummeling Sam because he was not fucking in love with Cas. Just his eyes, and hair, and lips, and hips, and cock, and voice, and posture, and confidence, and shut the fuck up.
Most of the guys hate him because either they see the girls’ adoring eyes and get jealous or they have complicated feelings about him and are scared of him because of it. Sam stated matter-of-factly.
And most of the girls hate him because they know he’s gay but still have complicated feelings about him or because they see how some of the guys are eyeing him and they are jealous of his looks.
Dean slowly picked his jaw up from the ground.
Wow, you make it sound so simple.
It’s because it is.
What about me then? Dean leaned back in his chair.
I’m a guy and I have complicated feelings about him and I don’t hate him.
Sammy’s eyes softened again and Dean felt embarrassed.
You’re just not like the other guys around here, Dean.
Bullshit. He mumbled and cast his eyes down.
When you felt like you wanted to kiss Castiel, what did you do? Punch him?
Dean’s eyes were round as he looked at Sam in confusion.
Hell no. I tried kissing him.
Well, Sam smirked.
There you go.
Realization sunk in and Dean looked down again.
Yeah, yeah, whatever jerk. Sammy said, a smile obvious in his tone of voice.
Dean sighed, embarrassment aside, he was actually liking hearing about Cas from someone else’s perspective. A someone with sane and sound thinking, that was, and not one of the assholes from school.
I’m guessing Cas has had this problem for a long time. He mumbled and picked restlessly on his jeans.
But he sure as hell didn’t make it easier by outing himself, he should’ve kept that to himself.
Dean. He looked up and saw that Sam was looking disapprovingly at him.
He shouldn’t have to hide just because this is a back-wards shit town.
I’m not arguing that. He leaned forwards again, placing his arms on the table, the pancakes a soggy, forgotten mess by now.
I’m just saying he should’ve picked his battles.
Sam frowned then.
You don’t know how everyone got to know, do you?
What the hell do you guys talk about anyway?
It made Sammy blush too.
Never mind. He hastened to say.
I got the gist of it from Jess and Ruby.
Dude, when we’re done here we’re gonna talk about you only getting girls for friends.
What’s the matter Dean? Sammy smirked.
Think I’ll grow up to become gay?
Dean blushed even deeper.
Just continue with the backstory.
Well, as I heard it, it was about two years ago. Castiel was already pretty bullied about his appearance and preferences but no one really knew anything. Thing was, he had a boyfriend. A guy named Fergus Crowley, two years Castiel’s senior and from three towns over. Sammy paused to chuckle together with Dean at the name of the boyfriend. Fergus.
Anyway, Crowley used to come visit Castiel and there wasn’t really anything strange about that. Guys hang out with guys all the time, right? Dean nodded and so did Sam, before turning more serious.
Then this one time he apparently came to school during hours and somehow or another they ended up in a janitor’s closet. Dean was beginning to see where this was going and he frowned but let Sam continue undisturbed.
When the janitor accidently opened the door, Crowley was buried deep in Cas’ throat and the people who saw them made sure the rest of the school did too, on account of the many pictures that were taken and distributed. So, in effect, Castiel didn’t actually out himself.
Fuck. Dean mumbled, both in anger and uneasiness. He had forced Cas into a janitor’s closet too. What had that made to the boy? No wonder he had a hard time trusting Dean. No wonder he had fucking slapped Dean in there.
You can say that. He agree but was obviously not finished.
The pictures and the rumors got Castiel pretty beaten and bullied for a long time. Ruby says people wouldn’t even touch him with a pole except for to bash his skull in. What little friends he had had abandoned him and he kind of shut in on himself. That’s not the worst though.
Dean’s eyebrows shot to the ceiling.
How could this get worse? he was already feeling like an insensitive asshole for not figuring this out before he’d tried to wall-fuck Cas.
It’s a matter of perspective I guess. Sammy conceded.
But as Jess told me, apparently Castiel took the beatings pretty well. Even when the school board convinced the police to drop the investigation regarding the assault charges Castiel’s parents had filed.
Why the hell would they drop them?
Jess didn’t know but Ruby thought they had taken the public sex and played it against the assaults to get an out. Both are strictly banned by school policy after all.
True, but apparently the police bought it. Sammy looked sadder.
But even so, Jess says that Castiel kept coming to school and taking the beatings. Almost as if to show that he wasn’t afraid, that he was proud of himself. Until… Sam looked down and Dean didn’t think he had frowned so hard in his life.
Until what? he knew Cas was reasonably okay nowadays but it was scary sitting here and listening to Sammy retell Cas’ past. He felt bad hearing it from his brother rather than Cas himself but as Sammy continued, Dean wasn’t even sure he would have had the guts to ask Cas.
Until Crowley broke it off with him. Sam met Dean’s eyes and he looked angry on Cas’ behalf. It made Dean strangely happy to see his little brother protective over someone he didn’t even know.
Crowley said he hadn’t really liked Castiel. He even came to school just to publicly humiliate Castiel by saying that he wasn’t really gay, never had been. That Cas just had pretty lips like a girl and that a hole is a hole, no matter who it’s attached to.
Dean froze in his chair. He could barely breathe.
What did Cas do? he asked and wasn’t in the least surprised when it came out in an angry croak.
Sammy leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes briefly.
Ruby says she was in the corridor where it happened, when it happened. Many people around them jeered and shouted. Crowley laughed along with them but Castiel just stared at him. When Crowley stopped laughing and got nervous instead someone threw some trash in Castiel’s direction. According to Ruby Castiel didn’t even flinch. He just turned around and left. Didn’t come back to school for almost a month and when he did he came back stone faced, his eyes cold and no one dared get close to him for the rest of the semester.
Yes. Sammy nodded wisely.
They started teasing him again after a while of course, because kids are stupid, but no one dares mention Crowley’s name. Not even Jess or Ruby know what happened to him but they do know that Castiel’s eldest brother got arrested for something around that time and spent a long time in juvy.
Alastair said he got held back a year. Dean confessed, his throat feeling tight.
Sam nodded again.
Guess they didn’t tell you any of this though.
They all like to poke fun at Castiel but I think many of them are afraid of him. Either because he dares to be different or because his very existence makes them want to be different too, and that’s scary.
That’s a load of bull.
Totally. Sammy agreed.
What they should be afraid of is his calmness, every hunter knows it’s the calm ones that are the most dangerous.
Dean pried his phone from his pocked and looked at it for a long time, thinking about everything.
I think I should call him. He said eventually and Sam nodded, getting up to clean up the mess on and around the stove.
I think so too.
I was gonna wait, play it cool but fuck. He clutched the phone in his fist.
Now I need to talk to him.
I like that you really seem to like him. Sam said with a smile and Dean blushed crimson.
I don’t know how much of this is true and how much is rumors but either way he seems like a nice guy that deserves someone nice. He turned to face a beet red Dean with the ruined frying pan in his hand.
You can’t cook for shit but you’re a nice guy Dean.
Whatever. Dean mumbled humbly and looked away.
Just don’t tell dad.
Of course not.
Thank you for being okay with this.
Sammy smiled broadly at him.
Sure Dean. He said and sounded happy. Dean got up to go call Cas before Sam could say anything else to girly up the moment even more.
Just try to keep it down the next time you jerk off. Now that I know who it is it’s even weirder. Sam yelled after Dean’s retreating back and there it was. Moment ruined. Man, he really loved his little brother.
Cas answered after too many fucking signals. Had it been anyone else Dean would’ve hung up by now.
His voice sounded gruff and Dean lied down on his bed, a smile playing on his lips.
What, you didn’t save my number? he teased and laughed lowly when there was a moment of silence on the other end.
It’s okay Cas, now you know I wasn’t kidding.
Cas huffed out a laugh of his own and Dean’s stomach muscles fluttered.
There was a little silence where Dean wanted to ask Cas about Fergus Crowley but didn’t know how. Cas was just breathing steadily, waiting for Dean to continue.
So, I’m not interrupting you or something? Dean asked eventually, hating how lame that sounded.
Not particularly. Cas answered, obviously not concerned with whether or not Dean was cool.
My brothers are downstairs fighting dad over TV-privileges. I thought I’d stay out of it.
Sounds like the smart move.
Cas snorted on the other end and Dean realized he was trying to hold in a laugh. It made Dean smile.
Your dad’s a minister, right?
What’s that like?
Cas sighed and Dean could hear him shifting around in the background.
Mostly boring. If you’re asking how it’s like in regards to my sexuality it’s kind of trying. But dad’s a good dad and mom is really supportive.
Dean nodded before he remembered that Cas couldn’t see him. Goddamn, it was like it was his first time talking on a phone or something.
Cool. He mumbled nervously.
What does your mom do?
With three kids? Man, I should become a minister too.
Cas actually laughed at that and Dean beamed proudly.
Please don’t. Cas said firmly, not really asking and Dean couldn’t help a shiver running through him. There was a silence again, this time because Dean focused on getting his body under control.
So, Cas started this time and Dean jerked back to the conversation at hand.
What does your parents do?
Okay, Dean could do this. He wanted to talk to Cas and this was what kids trying to get to know each other asked.
Dad’s a… fuck. He hadn’t thought this far ahead.
His job takes him out of town a lot. He finished lamely and Cas hummed thoughtfully. Dean pressed the phone to his ear as if he could feel the vibrations through the receiver.
Is he like a trucker or something?
What about your mom?
Dean closed his eyes for a moment. He was happy that Cas had decided to leave the topic of John alone but this was difficult too. Cas didn't know that of course and he could always lie about this too but for some reason he didn’t want to, wanted Cas to know.
She died. He whispered.
When I was little.
I’m sorry Dean. Cas said and he sounded sorry, almost like he was to blame, and not like other people who didn’t really give a damn.
It’s okay. He pressed out.
It was a long time ago, Sammy was just a baby.
They were silent again but this time felt less awkward than the first two. Dean was still trying to find a way to bring up Crowley, even though he was uncertain why he felt he needed to. He just did. Wanted Cas to know that he knew and that he wasn’t like that. Needed with every fiber of his body for Cas to trust him.
Does that mean you and your little brother live by yourselves? Cas asked suddenly.
Mostly. I mean, dad’s home every now and then so we’re not totally alone.
But you’re alone now?
Dean definitely picked up on that tone.
I’m in my room, Sammy’s downstairs watching some bird documentary I think.
Cas snorted again.
Probably the one Gabe’s fighting dad to get out of watching.
I heard about Fergus Crowley. Dean blurted out, unable to keep from saying it anymore.
Wh-what? Cas asked, his confident tone clearly shaken.
Dean sat up against the headboard of his bed.
I’m sorry. He hastened to say.
I got your phone number and I was fucking ecstatic and I was gonna wait a while before calling but then I heard about you and your ex and fuck… he breathed hard and he could practically hear Cas thinking on the other end.
I just needed to hear your voice Cas. He ended softly and Cas’ breath definitely hitched at that.
You know, he started, his voice thick with emotion.
Fergus was the only other person to ever call me Cas.
Dean stopped breathing for a second too long. That explained a lot.
I’m sorry. He pressed out in a gasp.
I’ll stop Cas-Castiel. I just—
Don’t, Dean. Cas’ voice was tender and Dean bit his lower lip.
I like it when you call me that. It makes me feel safe.
Really? Dean’s chest felt warm.
I just thought… what that asshole did, Cas I…
I know. It’s okay.
Dean didn’t know why it sounded like Cas was comforting him but it made him angry. At himself, mostly.
It’s not okay Cas. He said heatedly.
None of what is going on at school is okay but what he did was the worst. He was your boyfriend for fuck’s sake and he just abandoned you.
He did. Cas conceded and sounded much more okay with it than Dean.
I loved him and he threw me away, but that was a long time ago.
Dean’s chest constricted uncomfortably.
It still doesn’t make it okay. Fuck, if I was your boyfriend I would never do that to you, I wouldn’t let anyone— he cut himself off when he heard Cas’ sharp intake of breath.
If you were my boyfriend, Dean? Cas asked, his voice deep and low and Dean blushed all over. Crap. He had been so in the moment he hadn’t even been listening to himself.
I-I just meant—
If you were my boyfriend Dean, what would you do?
Dean slid down his bed to lie on his back again, his unoccupied hand resting on his fluttering stomach.
I wouldn’t let them treat you like that. He all but whispered and Cas practically purred into the receiver. This was so not what Dean had anticipated but he sure as hell was not complaining.
Fuck no. I don’t want you to be sad.
And if I got sad anyway, you would make me happy?
Dean swallowed hard.
And how, I wonder? Cas’ voice was husky and Dean’s cracked when he answered.
Any way you like.
Yes. He croaked and couldn’t help himself, had to put his hand on his cock. It was already hot and heavy and his sweatpants were obscenely tented.
I really liked you out on the field yesterday, Dean. Cas stated and he obviously tried to remain stoic but Dean heard the breathlessness of his voice and it made Dean arch his back.
I like looking at you in general, especially when you don’t know I’m there but out there on the field, trying to conceal your hard-on… It gets me riled up.
Dean bucked against his hand, his cock already leaking so much a big splotch of pre-come had dampened the cloth of his pants.
Is that why you wore that trench coat? he asked because he had to ask.
Yes. Cas breathed deeply and Dean moaned at that, completely forgetting his promise to Sam and not caring one bit about how wanton he sounded.
Fuck, Cas, I need you. He groaned out and was rewarded when Cas moaned too.
Ever since I first heard your voice. He arched off the bed again, his hand rubbing furiously over his dick.
Dean. Cas groaned deeply.
You’re driving me crazy. Coming here, fucking up the rules, making me want you.
You want me?
That was it, Dean had to get out of his pants. His whined pathetically when he managed and his dick slapped against his stomach but Cas hissed approvingly.
Sound so good for me Dean. He said and Dean thought he could hear him moving.
He gripped his dick hard and managed two or three strokes before he had to start thrusting his hips up into his grip.
Cas, baby, I want your hands on me.
I know Dean. Cas mumbled back, cooing almost and Dean knew he was close.
I can’t… he swallowed hard and tried to hold back.
Are you naked Cas? he asked, needing to know to see.
No. Cas answered and Dean heard him shifting again.
Wearing my night tee. It’s too big though, reaches my knees and the collar keeps sliding down over my shoulder.
Dean pinched his eyes shut at the onslaught of the pictures in his head.
Oh my fucking God, Cas. You’re a goddamn twink.
Cas huffed and managed to sound indignant even in the middle of everything.
Dean was fucking his fist so hard by now, pre-come more than enough to lubricate him.
Yes you are and it’s so fucking hot.
God, I need to see you in that tee. He moaned out and Cas grunted in response.
You’re so fucking slender, I get hard just thinking about you.
I think you’d like the tee. Cas breathed and Dean pressed the phone against his ear to get him closer.
It’s a Zeppelin band shirt, you like Zepp, don’t you? he asked as if he already knew.
Fucking hell. Dean bit out, feeling his orgasm rushing through him.
I’m gonna come Cas.
Wait for me Dean.
No, no, I need to— Dean dissolved into incoherent babbling, unable to stop his hand as he listened to Cas’ heavy breathing. His dick was an angry shade of red, so impossibly hard it fucking hurt.
Please Cas. He whimpered.
Gods, Dean, your sounds alone…
Cas, I need, I need—
I could come just listening to you.
Dean’s back arched so far it hurt but he needed more, needed Cas. He whined something unintelligent, feeling completely at Cas’ mercy. No one had made him feel like this before. Dean was usually an assertive lover but fuck, with Cas he just wanted to throw himself to the ground and present his neck.
Gonna do so much to you Dean, make you regret calling me a twink.
But you are. Dean all but sobbed.
Your hair, your big clothes. It’s fucking sexy Cas, all that’s missing are the hipster glasses.
Cas groaned deeply and Dean was done for. His balls were tight and his cock jerked in his hand. He wanted to come with Cas so badly but he was so fucking done.
You mean like my reading glasses? Cas panted out and Dean’s whole body shot off the bed as he came, his whole weight perched on his heels and upper shoulders as he painted his stomach and chest with his warm come.
It was only when he managed to relax enough to lower himself down that he discovered he hadn’t breathed for a too long a while. He gulped in air greedily, hoping he hadn’t been screaming but fuck if he knew.
He laid groggily on the bed for a long while before he regained consciousness enough to actually register Cas breathing deeply on the other end.
Cas? he asked, his voice hoarse.
I’m here Dean.
That was… I…
Yeah. Cas sounded as breathless as Dean felt.
Did you come?
I have sufficiently ruined my sheets, yes.
Dean snorted out a laugh.
I have to see you in that tee.
There was a pause and he thought he heard a click, then Cas was speaking again.
Took a picture, you’ll see it later if you still want to.
You took a picture of yourself just now?
You have to fucking send it to me.
There was a pause and then Cas sighed a little.
No, but you can see it tomorrow.
Cas, I’m not fucking around. He didn't even care that he sounded needy.
I’ve meant every word I’ve said to you. He frowned when Cas sighed again.
You should get some sleep Dean. Get well rested before we look at this picture together. There were implications in that suggestion that made Dean’s dick twitch valiantly.
And we can maybe discuss your obvious twink-fetish.
Cas’ voice lowered.
Maybe I’ll bring my glasses too.
Dean’s breath hitched.
Don’t fuck with me.
Good night Dean.
Dean looked at the black phone screen for a long while, trying to will his dick down. How the hell could he be hard this fast again? What was Cas doing to him? Twink-kink?
Fucking hell. Dean groaned as he wrapped his hand around his cock again.
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Chapter 4: pt. 17-19
In which Dean finally gets to really hold Cas, John inadvertently cock-blocks him, and reality catches up
Sammy was giving him the most epic bitch-face of all bitch-faces the next day but fuck if Dean cared. He was whistling to himself all morning and on the drive over to school he sang along loudly to all the songs on his tapes, feeling generally good.
Look, Dean. Sam sighed heavily when Dean pulled up in the school parking lot.
I’m not saying I’m not happy for you. I’m just saying, volume dude!
Dean grinned stupidly at him.
I’m not even sorry. He announced and bounded out of the car like a man on a mission.
Which he essentially was. He had wanted to come earlier to school to catch Cas before their first lesson but that hadn’t happened. Dean had seriously over-slept, not waking up until Sammy had pounded a pillow on his head, so now all he could hope for was a quick look and then he would probably have to wait until lunch break to get some alone-time with Cas. But he would get it. He wasn’t even afraid the boy would avoid him anymore because Dean was on. A. Mission. And he would not be deterred.
Winchester! Alastair yelled behind him just as Dean was skulking down the corridors, looking out for Cas.
Dean groaned on the inside but managed a decent smile when his teammate slung an arm around his shoulder.
Morning Alastair. He said, as politely as he could.
Man, you were all over practice Tuesday. Michael said as he, too, joined them.
Coach is pissed off.
Well, he needs to back off. Dean muttered and unslung Alastair’s arm.
The two boys laughed and Dean tried to chuckle along but it got stuck in his throat when he caught sight of Cas. He was standing a bit down the corridor Dean was walking through, listening to a teacher talking to him and another student. The other student was obviously engaged in the conversation but Cas just looked as detached as ever. And beautiful.
Dean’s cheeks heated before he could help it and it didn’t help when Cas turned his head and noticed Dean staring.
Dean wanted to go up to him. He wanted to hug him and kiss him and he wanted to fucking hold his hand where everyone could see. He supposed it showed on his face because Cas made a miniscule shake of his head. Dean quickly averted his eyes.
Seriously, Winchester. Michael said as the three of them had passed where Cas was standing.
You should watch yourself, I’ve seen that fruit eyeing you. When Alastair hummed along Dean turned his head to see Cas still looking.
Cas didn’t seem all that concerned with getting caught himself. Instead he just stuck his tongue out to wet his lips. Nothing really out of the ordinary with the gesture but Dean’s treacherous body reacted immediately. Goddamnit he wanted that tongue on him.
Ew, did you see? Alastair said and laughed loudly.
He fucking wants your dick.
See? Michael exclaimed as they rounded a corner and Cas unfortunately was lost to Dean’s eyes.
I’ve seen him at practice too. You’re his next prey Winchester.
You know what? Dean spat, suddenly fed up.
You’re the one who keeps pointing out everyone that wants me, you sound kinda gay yourself.
Michael stood stock still, looking torn between panic and nausea as Alastair pointed at him and laughed boomingly. Dean just kept walking, thinking of ways he could get alone with Cas.
First period was difficult. Second period was torture. Of course he had glimpsed Cas again between classes and if anything it looked like the boy enjoyed toying with Dean’s libido. Unfortunately both Alastair and Michael kept glued to him like some goddamn golden cock-blockers. He didn’t know how much more he could take. He needed to hold Cas. Now. Fuck third period and fuck lunch.
As soon as second period ended he made a beeline for the restrooms with some lame excuse of the trots or something. Anything to sound as disgusting as possible to make his teammates refrain from following him. Who the hell followed their mates to the bathroom anyway? God, they were such girls Dean was wondering how true his comment about Michael’s sexuality had actually been.
As soon as he’d lost them he whipped out the copy he’d made of Cas’ schedule, not at all feeling like a stalker, and quickly found out that Cas probably would be mercifully close by.
He didn’t care one bit about his own classes as he strode over to the biology labs where Cas was marked down for
maintenance for third period. Dean had no clue what the hell that meant.
When he got there the door was unlocked and inside he found Cas, thankfully alone. He was finishing up cleaning some beakers and didn’t notice Dean until he was very close. To his credit he didn’t even jump as he looked up and saw Dean, even though Dean’s expression probably was one hell of a dark one.
Finally. Dean grumbled out and was delighted when Cas shuddered ever so slightly.
Done with what the hell maintenance includes? he asked and stalked closer.
I clean the lab for extra credit. Cas said, as if that was a sufficient answer but Dean didn’t fucking care.
He gripped Cas’ slim hips in a bruising grip and pulled him flat against Dean’s heated body.
You think you can eye-fuck me like that without me reacting to it?
No. Cas deadpanned and snaked his arms around Dean’s neck.
I was rather hoping you’d react in some way.
Dean leaned down to whisper in Cas’ ear.
I popped a fucking boner in history class thinking about your eyes. That the kind of reaction you wanted?
Yes. Cas shuddered out and Dean moaned at the sheer brassiness of the boy.
Then kudos to you.
Cas rolled his hips against Dean’s and Dean forgot how to breathe but it was okay because their lips were crashing together and nothing else seemed important anymore. Cas was so fucking warm and alive in Dean’s hands that Dean couldn’t think straight. He let his hands wander and when he grabbed Cas’ ass the boy groaned against Dean’s mouth.
I need you Cas. He gasped out.
I need you now.
Closet. Cas panted out and Dean tore away from him with difficulty to look to where he was pointing.
It was on the far end of the classroom and it was too far away for Dean’s liking but he knew Cas didn’t want it here where anyone could catch them. Actually, Cas had already given him far too much, considering how reluctant he had been before. That phone call yesterday suddenly seemed like the best idea Dean had ever had.
With a groan of frustration he hooked his hands just where Cas’ ass cheeks met his thighs and pulled up. Cas yelped in surprise and jumped up from the force of Dean’s grip and Dean was so fucking satisfied when he finally had Cas where he wanted him: in his arms and with his legs around Dean’s waist.
Dean silenced him with another kiss, one hand on Cas’ rump and the other in the crook of the boy’s knee, keeping him pressed against Dean and safely lofted. It didn’t take much convincing before Cas decided to trust Dean’s strength and just give in to kissing him back. It made Dean’s heart flutter strangely and he deepened the kiss as he started walking towards the closet.
Cas was light as a feather in Dean’s arms but walking without looking was hard and they ended up crashing against the closed door. Cas didn’t seem to mind though, just used the firm door as leverage to start bucking his hips against Dean again.
F-fuck, Cas. Dean gasped out when he felt Cas’ hard-on and scrambled for the door handle. His dick was so hard it hurt like a bitch but the friction. Oh, the friction.
Yes, Dean. Cas groaned between nips and licks.
I want it. His dick was pressing hard into Dean’s lower stomach and when he angled his hips just right their cocks brushed together in the most sinful way.
It’s locked Cas. Dean all but whined and was about two seconds away from tearing the door from its hinges when Cas help up a key.
Dean didn’t even have the presence of mind to be irritated that Cas hadn’t given him the key to begin with. He just shoved it in the lock and only let Cas down so that they wouldn’t fall when the door opened.
Well inside, he turned and slammed the door shut again, careful to lock it again before he even turned back to look at Cas in the dim light Cas had turned on. It was a storage closet like any else but Dean didn’t fucking care about that. Cas was standing there, mere inches from him, his hair ruffled, his lips kiss-slicked and his eyes so black from arousal there nearly wasn’t any blue left.
Dean swallowed hard to regain his composure.
How long do you have? he asked and Cas actually smiled a little.
Not nearly enough. He answered and his voice was so fucking deep Dean had to grip his dick through his jean just to get some relief.
I-fuck-I just need something, Cas. He breathed and he could see that Cas was effected by his words, his voice, his look, hell if Dean knew what exactly but Cas was clearly effected.
You want to see the picture, Dean?
Dean would never admit it but he loved it when shy and introvert Cas took charge like this. It made Dean weak in the knees.
Yes. He croaked out.
God, yes, Cas, anything.
Cas’ hands were suddenly on the fly of his pants.
Then get down on your knees and suck me off.
Dean had never hit the floor so quickly before. Cas’ eyes actually rounded out in surprise but Dean didn’t even mind enough to be embarrassed. He just wanted to taste Cas. Had since he’d first laid eyes on him.
Cas’ movements faltered a little, obviously overwhelmed and Dean didn't know if it was because he never would have anticipated big jock Dean Winchester to suck dick or because he still didn’t completely trust Dean but either way Dean just felt impatient. He swatted Cas’ hands away and worked the boy’s pants open himself.
Cas backed up two steps to get his back against a wall and Dean followed eagerly. He wasn’t sure who moaned the loudest when Cas eventually sprung free of his pants and underwear but Dean didn’t fucking care about that.
Cas was fat and hard and curved beautifully up against his flat stomach. Dean watched in fascination as Cas pulled his shirt up and put it in his mouth, his cock bobbing and practically begging to be touched. Dean was speechless. This was the ultimate evidence that Cas wanted him too and if anyone were to interrupt now Dean would gank them without a second’s hesitation. Cas was finally his to touch.
He put one hand on Cas’ trembling hip and the other tentatively around the base of the fat cock. Cas moaned lowly and Dean watched with big eyes as droplets of pre-come leaked out.
Sure, he had never done this before and sure, he really hadn’t thought about it before either but he knew what he liked himself and he was starting to realize that Cas probably would like anything he did to him.
Carefully he scooted forward and pressed the flat of his tongue to the underside of the cock. It jumped in his hand and he massaged it with his thumb as he continued lapping his way up to the head. Cas was breathing hard through his nose and when Dean flicked his pointed tongue against the slit he actually banged the back of his head against the wall.
He was making delicious noises and they made Dean’s still trapped dick jump but Dean wanted more. He reached up with his unoccupied hand and pulled the shirt from Cas’ mouth.
Need to hear you baby. Dean rasped and Cas arched his back.
Can’t… he moaned as Dean resumed licking.
Gonna make too much noise.
Yes. Dean hissed and let the cool air dance over the red head.
And I want to hear it all. Want you to talk to me.
Before Cas could argue again Dean put his mouth on his cock and pulled as much as he could down his throat. Cas practically wailed above him and Dean moaned in response. It was just too beautiful. Anyone outside in the biology lab would certainly hear but as long as that room remained empty they would be in no danger. At least Dean hoped so. In the far back of his mind. The front of his mind was too busy convincing his body not to gag and not to come in his pants.
Oh, God, feels so good. Cas pressed out through clenched teeth.
So eager for me Dean.
Dean moaned again, this time to prove his willingness. Cas was fat and heavy in his mouth and he fucking loved it. The cock tasted earthy and a little salty and even though the pre-come was slightly bitter it was still the best Dean thing had ever tasted.
He put both of his hands on Cas’ hips and sucked in earnest when Cas put one hand in his hair. And a good thing too, as Cas suddenly jerked forward in his grip, bucking against Dean’s face. Fucking hell, Cas was trying to fuck his face. Dean pressed his thighs together in an attempt to relive pressure. He was leaking and most probably ruining his underwear but Cas was bucking against his tight grip and arching his back while panting roughly and Dean knew he wouldn’t last long like this. Had to hold out though. Wanted to see that picture of twink-Cas as he came.
So good, Dean. Cas was cooing.
Such a pretty face. He groaned deeply as he slid all the way down Dean’s throat on one of the strokes.
Want nothing more than to come on it. Would you like that? Your face dirtied by my come, pretty boy?
Dean was practically sobbing with the effort of staving off his orgasm. Cas fucking his face and talking like that was the goddamn hottest thing Dean had ever experienced. He scooted even closer and slid his hands back, getting Cas’ underwear out of the way.
Yes. Cas hissed when he felt Dean’s dry fingers brush against his puckered opening.
You want that, Dean? Want to fuck me hard? I want it too. He was bucking pretty freely now, back against Dean’s hands and forwards against Dean’s mouth.
Want you to take me, claim me. Fuck. He stuttered and Dean could feel Cas’ opening fluttering as his orgasm drew closer.
Shit, Dean, I’m gonna—
Dean immediately pulled his hands back to Cas’ hips and slammed him back against the wall, pinning him there as he sucked Cas down all the way, one last time.
Cas would have screamed as his release ripped through him, Dean was certain, but to his discontent, Cas hid it by biting his fist. Cas shuddered hard and Dean swallowed as best he could, lapping at the rest and didn’t let go of Cas’ hips until he thought Cas would be able to stand on his own.
Dean’s own dick was pounding fiercely against his jeans and as soon as he was able to he shoved one hand against it and massaged it hard.
C-Cas. He whimpered.
Cas, I need…
C’mere. Cas whispered and roughly pulled Dean to his feet.
Let me, big boy.
Nng! Dean buried his head against the crook of Cas’ neck as Cas yanked his pants open and shoved his hand in there to grip Dean’s weeping erection.
Shit, ‘big’ doesn’t really cover it, huh? Cas mumbled and Dean rutted his dick against the friction.
Yes, fuck my hand Dean. Cas licked his ear and Dean couldn’t help himself, had to bite down on Cas’ shoulder as he braced himself against the wall and rutted harder.
He felt Cas shift beneath him and then suddenly there was a phone screen in his face. At first he didn’t understand but then he saw. His vision was slightly blurred but he saw the picture clearly. Cas was obviously lying on a bed. His head was turned to the side, his cheeks still burning in a post-orgasmic haze. Dean could only see a little of the tee but it had slid down Cas’ shoulder to reveal the collar bone and Cas had his head turned so that his chin almost touched his bare shoulder.
It was… Fuck, it was the hottest thing Dean had ever seen. Cas looked so fragile and so demure and just associating that look with what he knew they had done seconds before it was taken — to what they were doing now — made him groan so deeply his whole body shook from it.
There you go Dean. Cas was whispering against his ear.
See what you did to me? That enough of a twink for you?
Cas. Dean gasped as he felt his orgasm pound through him.
Come now, Dean. Cas fucking bit his ear lobe and Dean was done for.
Soil your pants for me.
Yes. He grunted, the feel of Cas’ hand divine and his words, in that goddamn voice, forced Dean’s release like nothing else.
He curled in on himself, pressing Cas closer as he shook against him, spraying his boxers and Cas’ hand.
It was a long time, too long to be truthful, before Dean could straighten up and take a shaky step away from Cas. Cas had just been standing there the whole time, his drenched hand tucked neatly inside Dean’s pants and humming slightly off tune.
Shit, Cas. Dean managed after a second of staring at the boy in front of him. He looked fucking gorgeous.
I know. Cas deadpanned and brought his sticky fingers up to his mouth to fucking lick them clean.
Was this what you had in mind when you cornered me in the lab?
Dean was staring the whole time Cas was licking, unable to form complete sentences.
Um… he started and Cas smirked at him.
It’s okay Dean. Cas said and slipped up to him, pecking him on the cheek.
I liked it too.
Really? Dean grinned goofily and slid his arms around Cas’ waist. Well, of course Cas had like it but had he really liked it? Yes, apparently.
So now do you believe I’m sincere about you? he asked, unable to not ask.
Cas stayed in his embrace and looked up at him through his lashes.
I suppose I have to now. He smiled wickedly.
If anyone, you took the greater risk here, my dick down your throat like that.
Dean nodded and couldn’t stop grinning.
Yeah, yeah I did and I liked it.
He leaned down and nosed along Cas’ neck, inhaling his scent.
And I would like to do it again, soon.
I believe there was mentions of you fucking me?
I believe so too.
Not here though.
Dean smiled against Cas’ skin and he could feel Cas pressing closer.
No, next time I hope to have you in a bed. Preferably one of ours.
I would like that as well.
When the bell rang, signaling the end of the period, they both jumped.
Goddamnit. Dean groused as Cas started getting ready to leave.
Cas laughed a little, a low chuckle that shot right down Dean’s spine.
You blaspheme a lot. He commented and allowed for Dean to get his soiled clothes under reasonable control before opening the door.
Get used to it.
I already am. I love it.
Dean smirked at that and pulled Cas closer.
Yeah? What else do you love?
Cas smirked back.
That you have my number, make sure to use it soon enough.
Oh, I will baby. Dean mumbled against Cas’ mouth as they shared one last kiss.
Dean was definitely walking on cloud nine for the rest of the day. So much so that Alastair and Michael even commented on it but Dean had just shrugged and chewed happily on the gum Castiel had forced on him. Oh, he would’ve rather had Castiel’s taste in his mouth all day but he had understood that going around smelling like spunk every time he opened his mouth would be a bad thing. Still, he sloshed the gum around to get as much taste as possible before the gum erased it.
Shit, he couldn’t even wait for the day to be over. Cas had liked what they had done. He had said he wanted Dean to call him. Dean was such a girl for this boy he couldn’t even wait. In the recess between second to last and last period he fished up his phone and tapped out a text. Nothing big. Just wanting to know if Cas would wanna hang out after school. John was still on the hunt and Sam had pre-cal. Perfect timing, in Dean’s mind.
He frowned where he walked between Alastair and Michael when all he got back was an emoticon sticking its tongue out.
And anyway, Alastair was droning on beside him.
I told Lisa I ain’t touching her little quarrel with Bela with a ten foot pole.
Dude. Michael sniggered but Dean didn’t catch the rest because there was Cas.
Further down the corridor, obviously waiting for his next class, he stood a little ways away from the rest of his classmates and he was looking at Dean. As if he knew Dean would be coming this way. As if he could feel him. Dean’s chest constricted in that way it did when Cas looked at him like that.
No one else was looking at Cas and that was probably why he deemed it safe enough to smile at Dean. Dean’s knees felt like jelly. Tentatively he raised his phone, just high enough to catch Cas’ attention and no one else’s. He also raised his eyebrow in question and Cas, the motherfucker, smirked at him before reaching down into his backpack.
Dean’s breath hitched when he saw Cas pulling up and putting on fucking black hipster glasses. Like it was nothing. Like Dean didn’t instantly get hard at the sight because there was fucking twink-Cas in his fucking glasses, smiling at Dean. Challenging him.
Dean wanted to pounce at him but he knew what that would lead to and he also knew that that wasn’t what Cas wanted. Cas wanted discretion. And the tease, apparently.
So Dean did nothing. Except jab his phone in Cas’ direction and when Cas gave the smallest nod Dean got so happy he walked straight into the railing to the stairs and almost crashed down it.
Dean just smiled goofily as half the school laughed at his antics.
So, you wanna come home and play some GTA or something?
Dean didn’t even know what that meant. Some kind of game he imagined but fuck if he cared. Cas had answered when Dean had texted him again and asked — not begged — him to meet Dean at his car. And he had answered that he would. Meaning the quicker Dean could get out of this hell hole the quicker he could have his arms wrapped around Cas. Hell, if everything went the way he wanted it to they might even not make it home before that happened. Maybe he could get to suck Cas off in the Impala. Maybe Cas would suck him off. Shit, the thought had Dean hard in an instant. Damn libido. Up and down. Up for no reason. Exhausting.
Not tonight man. He grumbled out and Michael scowled at him.
C’mon, practice’s canceled today, what are you gonna do all evening? What do you do all day?
I gotta take care of Sammy. Dean lied but lied only a little of course. Because obviously that was true but not tonight. Tonight he was getting laid and if Michael thought he could get in the way of that he was sorely mistaken. Of course, he couldn’t tell Michael that so instead he put on an apologetic face.
Dad’s out of town again.
Oh. Michael looked like he wanted to invite himself over so Dean hastened to slam his locker shut and hurry away.
Next time bro. He yelled and practically ran to the school’s parking lot.
He hadn’t specified which car was his because he didn’t think he needed to and as he neared where he had parked her he saw that he had been right; Cas was standing beside the passenger side, looking at the Impala.
Dean managed to sneak up right behind the boy before he saw Cas tensing in pre-flight.
Admiring my girl? he said in a low voice, close to Cas’ ear and was delighted when he noticed Cas immediately relaxing again.
She’s beautiful. He answered and Dean didn’t know if he was humoring Dean or not but he fucking loved hearing Cas praise Baby.
I’m glad you agreed to meet me. He said and wanted so badly to put his hands on Cas’ hips. They were so close and Cas’ scent was driving Dean mad. He had already been walking around half-hard since their time in the closet, the dried and uncomfortable mess in his boxers a constant reminder.
Cas shifted on his feet and looked from side to side at the students passing them by. More than one was pointing at the two of them.
I’m glad too but this… Dean could clearly imagine him biting his lip.
I shouldn’t have come here, this is too public.
Don’t worry babe. Dean mumbled and couldn’t resist leaning closer.
They just think I’m gonna kick your ass for staring at my car.
Cas turned his head half-way and Dean’s breath hitched when he saw the smirk on Cas’ face.
And are you?
I can think of a couple of other things I’d rather do to your ass. Dean rumbled out, unable to contain his arousal and Cas shuddered, so close but so far away.
Then maybe we should get going.
Yeah, Dean breathed.
Yeah, let me just—
Cas froze and Dean groaned in frustration as he turned to Sam where he came running towards them.
What? he barked as Sam stopped in front of him.
I’ve been looking for—gross Dean.
Sammy pointed to his crotch and laughed when Dean hastily tried to adjust his prominent erection.
I’ve been looking for you.
I don’t have time for you Sammy.
Obviously. He leaned a little around Dean and waved.
Hi Cas. Dean could practically feel how stiff Cas went at that acknowledgement. The air around him grew palpable with his discomfort.
Dean tried to smoothen over it by clearing his throat.
So what do you want?
Sam held up his phone.
I got a call from dad.
Dean immediately got a bad feeling.
And he needs help. The, he paused and snuck a guilty glance as Cas who, shockingly, hadn’t run away yet.
The hunt went bad.
Dean’s blood ran cold.
Seven. Sammy said in accordance to their rating system. Fuck. Seven meant he’d been captured. Probably hurt.
Has he called Bobby? Dean asked as he ushered Sam towards the car.
Yeah but he’s all the way in Sioux Falls as usual.
Sammy shook his head.
We’re the closest ones. He looked quickly at Cas again who was starting to look really concerned.
Dean pressed his lips together.
Then we should go to him.
I think so too.
Get in the car. As Sam did as Dean told him, Dean turned to Cas.
I’m sorry. He said and completely forgot all the rules of the stupid game he didn’t even want to play to begin with and put his hands on Cas’ upper arms. Cas didn’t throw him off.
It’s okay, Dean.
Dean looked down, feeling extremely guilty for a lot of things.
I lied Cas. He said and wanted to tell Cas everything.
Dad’s not a trucker.
I got that.
He’s… he’s a hunter.
Cas cocked his head to the side in that way of his.
Like deer and stuff?
Dean actually smiled.
And stuff. He conceded.
Will you be okay?
Cas waved his concern away.
Of course, you go to your dad. I hope he’s okay.
I’ll call when I get back. He looked Cas in the eyes and wanted to kiss him so badly.
Might take a while though.
Cas’ smile was brilliant, like always.
I’ll still be here.
When Dean had slid into the car and revved it up he plucked up his phone to see that he had two missed calls from John from around the time he had ditched Michael and all he had had on his mind was Cas. Damnit, what was that boy doing to him?
Did dad say what’s caught him?
Sammy looked at his phone as if it would give him any answers.
He thought Vetalas.
I think, Sam’s voice sounded small.
I think he was calling to say goodbye, Dean.
Hey, Dean turned to look at his little brother just as they were leaving the parking lot.
We’re on our way. We’ll help him.
Sammy nodded and Dean smiled at him, completely missing what happened behind them. If he had looked up into the rearview mirror he would have seen Cas leaving and he would have definitely seen the shadows following him. But of fucking course he didn’t look up.
The hunt went better than anyone of them had expected. First of all, Bobby had managed to get in touch with his friend Rufus and he had met up with Dean and Sam when Dean had called Bobby and announced he wasn’t turning back. Well,
friend was a pretty strong word and Dean didn’t really know what Rufus and John thought of each other but in any case hunters need to fucking stay together so Rufus dutifully showed up.
Plus, when the three of them showed up John had actually managed to kill one of the Vetalas together with one other captive.
Of course, John was fucking pissed that Dean had decided to come help him and he was even more pissed that Sammy had come along. He had groused and grumbled all the way to the local ER but after being admitted and getting some food he had been better. Rufus’ tough love seemed to help too and Dean and Sam were able to sneak John out the very next day, just in time to dodge the insurance and other questions.
Truth be told, Dean actually thought they got off pretty easily. Now, barely four days since they’d left they found themselves back in their home and John was actually feeling good enough to join them for breakfast before they left for school. It felt nice, eating like a family, even though John was still pale and Dean had a big bruise on his ribs from where he had crashed into the wall when the Vetala had flung him out of the way. It felt domestic and Dean didn’t even know he would like it until it happened.
At school something felt different though. It took him a while to figure out because his teammates were rowdier than ever but just after first period he got it. Cas was missing. And not the kind of missing like he was avoiding Dean or something. There was a space of absence everywhere Dean went and Cas was supposed to fill it. With just glimpses or full on view Dean didn’t care, Cas should just be there. And he wasn’t.
He didn’t know what to do. Who could he ask? He texted Sammy but just got a question in return. A good question though. Did he want Sam to ask Ruby and Jess? Yes, he decided after second period and his worry was eating him up. But their answer was disappointingly short. Apparently no one had seen Cas since the day Dean and Sam left to help John.
When lunch time rolled around and Cas’ designated table remained despairingly empty Dean could no longer hold his tongue.
So, where’s that Novak boy at? he asked, completely cutting into the argument Alastair was having with Lisa.
The whole jock table turned to look at him and Dean blinked questioningly when Michael laughed.
Don’t worry about that weirdo anymore. He said and several of the other jocks grinned maliciously. Not good.
What are you talking about?
Look, bro. Alastair started patiently, as if he was talking to a child.
We’ve seen the looks he’s been giving you.
You have? Dean asked, stupidly, before he could stop himself. He had really thought they’d been discreet. Or at least that Cas had been.
Yeah, anyone can see that that ass-licker wants you.
You’re new here so we figured you didn’t know how to deal with it without drawing attention to you.
Wouldn’t want it on your record. Uriel winked and Dean started sweating.
Want what on my record?
That you beat him up, duh.
What? he croaked.
Lisa leaned over the table so they could talk quieter.
Look sweetie, we’ve seen his looks and we’ve seen he makes you uncomfortable. There’s already rumors that you’ve beaten him up so the guys made and took care of it for real. It’s done.
Dean paled and he had to clench and unclench his fists to keep calm.
You thought he was bothering me but that I didn’t want the attention of making him stop myself so you… What? What did you do exactly?
Uriel smiled. It wasn’t pleasant.
We beat him up of course.
Yeah, we already said. Michael added as if Dean was slow and that was adorable.
Alastair nodded wisely.
We caught him that day he was ogling your car and he hasn’t been to school since. Got him real bad.
Dean was breathing in short puffs, his blood cold and his face pale. Cas has been beaten. Because of Dean. By Dean’s friends.
He rose abruptly, so abruptly that he rattled the whole table.
Excuse me. He pressed out when all of them and half the cafeteria stared at him.
Lisa narrowed her eyes.
Where are you going?
I’m gonna go fucking celebrate. Dean said loudly enough for it to be considered a yell, a fake smile plastered on his face.
As he stormed out he caught Lucifer’s eye and he didn’t look happy. Dean couldn’t blame him, he wanted to fucking shoot himself for this but he couldn’t. Not just yet. He needed to see Cas first.
It took Dean no time at all to find Cas’ home address and he had driven aimlessly through enough small towns before to figure out the way without problems. Stopping his shaking was another thing though. He didn’t know if it was from anger or fear but he was shaking so hard it was difficult to get an explanatory text to Sammy away.
Fucking goddamn bullshit life. Of course he couldn’t have nice things. Shit, Cas was going to hate him now. If he wasn’t beaten beyond repair he was going to hate Dean so much and Dean was going to call him stupid if he didn’t.
When he swerved to a halt half-way up on the curb outside Cas’ house Dean found his stomach in knots. The way Lucifer had been looking at Dean had given him some inkling as to how bad this could actually be and he was starting to sweat from the pictures his asshole of a mind provided.
He tapped his foot impatiently as he rang the doorbell. Continuously.
Hold your fucking horses. He heard a voice call and when the door opened it revealed Gabriel. His expression darkened immediately when he saw who was at the door.
You. He grumbled out and made to shut the door in Dean’s face.
Oh, hell no. Dean was having none of that. He smacked his hand against the door and managed without a problem to force it open again. Gabriel looked surprised for about a millisecond before his angry glare came back.
Let me see him. Dean pressed out.
Why the fuck would I do that? Gabriel spat.
Don’t you think I know you’re to blame for this shit? Gabriel leaned out and got all up in Dean’s face when Dean made to talk.
I know your friends did this, Dean-o. He snarled.
I may not know exactly why but I heard them afterwards. What do you think that was like? he squinted at Dean, daring him to interrupt.
To hear them saying they’d taken care of the little faggot, that he wouldn’t be bothering their precious Winchester no more. Dean couldn’t find the words and Gabriel gripped his shirt tight, pulling him even closer.
To search for my baby brother and find him, beaten and bloody, in a fucking ditch by the road, barely conscious. Don’t you dare come here and presume I would let you see him.
Gabriel. Dean said, eerily calm and even Gabriel must have noticed because he quieted.
I will motherfucking murder those idiots if you want me to but don’t stand in my way now. He gripped Gabriel’s wrist hard enough to bruise and stared the other boy down.
I need him.
Wow. Not even Dean knew where that had come from and he felt as surprised as Gabriel looked but he thankfully managed to keep his angry scowl intact.
They stood for a long while, Gabriel with Dean’s shirt in his fist and Dean’s hand around Gabriel’s wrist, staring each other down and Dean was about two shit-moments away from pounding Gabriel to the floor when they both heard shuffling behind the half-closed door.
It was Cas. His voice was rougher and the word sounded somewhat garbled but God, it was Cas.
Dean didn’t even fucking care, he kicked the door open, ripping it from the loose grip Gabriel had had on it and effectively tearing himself free.
Cas?! he exclaimed and stumbled in, ignoring Gabriel’s indignant
Dean? Cas’ eyes were big and round and so much more frightened than Dean ever wanted them to be but fuck, they were still as brilliantly blue and Dean strode up to his… To Cas before anyone could stop him. The cringe Cas made, however, did stop Dean dead in his tracks and he paused to look at the boy.
Cas’ lip was split, his left eye was still swollen even if it started to look better. His beautiful face was a patchwork of cuts and yellowing bruises and he was pressing his right arm against his chest as if either the arm or the chest hurt. Or maybe both. Fuck.
Cas. He said and wasn’t surprised, if a little shamed, to hear his own voice crack. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch the boy but he didn’t know if he was allowed anymore.
Yes. Gabriel snarked behind him.
So now you see what your toxin has made.
Cas actually rolled his eyes.
Leave it, Gabe. He mumbled and Dean wanted to ask why his voice was so raspy. It didn’t sound natural.
Gabriel slammed the front door shut.
I will not fucking leave it, Cassie! he yelled.
His friends did this to you and mom and dad can’t even file a goddamn assault charge because there are no witnesses and the asshole school board won’t touch your case with a stick on account of you being gay and that is apparently the crime of the century.
Dean turned an angry glare at Gabriel.
What did you say?
Gabriel looked defiantly at him.
That’s right. He crossed his arms.
They are getting off scot-free. Again.
Dean’s eyes darkened and he knew what he looked like. Looked dangerous enough for Gabriel to take a step back. He turned back to Cas.
I will kill them Cas.
He started towards the door.
Just wait baby, no one will know. You sit tight.
A small hand on his arm stopped him.
Don’t. Cas pressed out.
When Dean turned around to face him he could see Gabriel looking at him with new surprise. Whatever. He didn’t give a shit about impressing Gabriel.
You don’t have to worry Cas. He said as gently as he could with the anger boiling through him.
Of course I worry. Cas snapped loudly, obviously trying to raise his voice but not managing very well. He sighed heavily.
C’mon, we’ll talk in my room.
Hell no! Gabriel shouted but Cas quieted him with one look. Damn.
Go and fix dinner before mom and dad gets home, Gabe. He said firmly and even though Gabriel didn’t comply immediately he didn’t try and stop Dean when he made to follow Cas up the stairs either.
You just holler, Cassie. I’ll be right downstairs. He yelled after them and if Cas wasn’t limping as bad as he was Dean would have thought Gabriel being all protective was endearing.
Cas’ room was small and heavily furnitured with shelves of books and a small bed crammed into the corner of it. He turned around to close the door after Dean had stopped in the middle of it, trying to look around without looking like he was obviously looking.
It’s nice. He said, trying to make conversation but Cas just sighed.
Why did you come here Dean?
Dean was instantly both angry and panicked. It was an unsettling mix.
I had to see you. He narrowed his eyes when Cas only cocked his head to the side.
I said I’d call on you when I got back. He stated.
And you said you’d wait.
Cas sighed again, even though the action seemed to make his chest hurt.
I was naïve.
No, don’t say that. Dean walked up to him but still didn’t dare touch him.
Everything we did… It’s only been four days.
It’s okay Dean, I’m not surprised. This is what I was talking about from the beginning after all.
Cas. Dean couldn’t take it. He had to put his hands somewhere on Cas. He opted for the other’s wrist and Cas thankfully didn’t pull away.
You have to know I didn’t have anything to do with this, you have to. He pleaded — yes, that’s right.
Cas looked tired.
I believe you. He said but took Dean’s joy away by continuing to speak.
You had nothing directly to do with this but this is what your friendship indirectly means for me.
Cas, I don’t understand, why does it have to be like that?
It just does Dean. You and I are not from the same worlds, don’t you get that?
I thought… Dean would not cry.
I thought we’d moved past that.
We could never move past that, Dean. Castiel frowned too and looked away.
You… You’re something else Dean. I knew I needed to keep away from you but I couldn’t. When he looked up his eyes were wet with unshed tears but his features were harsh.
Your soul is too bright for me, Dean. I need to live in the shadows or things like this will happen.
What are you saying Cas? Dean rasped out.
I’m saying leave me alone, Winchester. Cas stated firmly and pulled his hand back from Dean’s slack grip.
No, Cas, don’t make me.
For both our sakes.
But I choose you, Cas. Dean made to touch him again but to his dismay Cas stepped out of reach.
I don’t fucking care about them, or school, or my future.
Yeah, well, I do.
I just want you.
Cas’ eyes softened and he turned away.
We don’t always get what we want.
It felt like a knife, hot and searing. It felt like the worst pain Dean had ever experienced and he wished the Vetala had killed him. Anything was better than this pain.
Will I… he cleared his throat pathetically.
Will I still see you at school? Can you try and not use your stealth mode around me so much Cas? he asked and even to himself he sounded weak and he hated it.
I just… I just need to see you.
Cas glanced at him.
I’ll be coming to school tomorrow. He gnawed at his lip in an obvious attempt to stop it from trembling.
I can’t make any promises Winchester.
Chapter 5: pt. 20-22
In which Dean updates his status and later makes promises
Second to last chapter, folks!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Dean felt like shit. He hadn’t slept all night and his head was heavy. It felt like a bad hangover except he didn’t have any fun memories from the night before. Only the worst conversation he had ever had in his life with the man of his dreams. He was even too far gone to repress that thought.
John had commented when Dean finally had stumbled home, much, much later. Had commented on Dean’s look and on the fact that school had called him to talk about his boys’ recent, unannounced, absence and also on Dean’s unusually high daily absence. Had apparently asked him if he knew about all of Dean’s detentions and how they threatened to get him kicked off the team, even if the standards for a reserve wasn’t as high as for the actual players. Dean had just been so fucking tired. He had never wanted to leave this fucking town as much as he wanted to in that moment but he had just looked his dad straight in the eyes and asked him what he had told the school. John had narrowed his eyes and said that he had told them he would deal with it. Then he had asked, again, if this was not working out for them. Dean had wanted to scream and break things and fucking move them away from here but Sammy had chosen that moment to appear and his knowing eyes had been too much. Dean had just said he was tired and had gone to bed without dinner. Not that he had slept much.
That was probably why he had a headache now, he thought as he massaged his temples where he sat at his desk in homeroom. No food since lunch yesterday and no sleep. Brilliant fucking idea Winchester.
When Alastair, Uriel and Michael entered the room his mood darkened even more. They were loud and obnoxious and they had fucking beaten Cas until he almost lost consciousness. They were supposed to be Dean’s friends and yet they had beaten someone because they thought he looked at Dean in a creepy way. Even if Dean hadn’t wanted Cas looking at him like that it gave them no right. He was mad for so many reasons he couldn’t even try and hide it.
Of course Alastair would notice with Dean glaring daggers at him.
What’s got your panties in a bunch? he asked as he took the seat to Dean’s right.
Headache. Dean grumbled out.
Did you see Novak? Uriel said in what he obviously thought was a low voice.
He recovers pretty fast, I’ll give him that.
Yeah but did you see his scared face?
Because of you! Dean wanted to scream but knew it wasn’t right. Because of him. Cas hadn’t wanted the attention but Dean had forced it on him anyway.
Yeah. Alastair laughed.
Jumping at his own shadow now.
They all laughed and Dean couldn’t fucking take it.
Shut up! he hissed loud enough for the people in the row in front of them to turn around.
Just shut the fuck up.
Alastair frowned at him.
And what was a good question. Dean should really start to learn restraint.
You shouldn’t have done it. He pressed out when their audience had turned around again.
Beat him up? Alastair snorted
Don’t come here and say you’re soft on him.
Oh no, not that. Cas wouldn’t want that.
If he was staring at me with his fucking gay eyes you should’ve let me beat him up. Dean snarled out and actually earned himself a glare from a random chick in class. Good.
You made me look fucking weak Heyerdahl. I take care of my own shit.
Michael was looking at him like he was cool and Dean wanted to fucking punch him. Uriel snorted and looked away, probably thinking Dean was ungrateful and Alastair looked at him with this undecipherable look for a long while.
Fine. He said eventually and Dean had never been so glad to see a teacher as when homeroom finally started.
Just wanted to help.
Yeah? Well, don’t.
By the time lunch was rolling around Dean wasn’t feeling in the slightest better. Alastair was obviously pissed but fuck if Dean cared about him. The rest of the jocks were still talking about Cas, however, and it was grating on Dean’s nerves. They were commenting Cas’ gait, his hair, his bruised face and they laughed when Cas had a hard time carrying his lunch tray due to his hurt arm.
Gabriel and Lucifer were glaring daggers at Dean but neither of them went to help their little brother so Dean couldn’t be bothered with their shit. The sympathetic look Sammy gave him, however, was worse. Sam had, of course, joined the dorks and he was sitting two tables down from Dean’s, to the right of Cas’ mostly empty table and he was rolling his eyes at Dean, inclining his head towards the small frame of Cas’ beaten body. It was too fucking much.
Without a word he pushed himself to his feet, exiting the cafeteria and skillfully dodging any eventual pursuers. It had only been half a day and he was already crumbling. Goddamnit he was pathetic. What would John say if he saw his little soldier like this? Would probably be disappointed. God knew Dean was. Couldn’t even defend his… his…
Dean was hyperventilating by the time he reached the bathroom and he slammed open the doors to the three stalls to confirm that he was completely alone before he leaned against one of the sinks and just gulped in air, trying to not choke and not to sob.
Fucking goddamn fucking hell.
He couldn’t do this. He would have to leave. This bathroom, this school, this town. He didn’t know which but he needed to leave.
Suddenly the door to the bathroom opened and he jerked his head up, tears thankfully unshed but probably red as hell in the face and still with a heaving chest.
The last fucking person he expected stared back at him and Dean didn’t care that he had no right, he still felt immensely better when he felt Cas’ concerned eyes fall on his disheveled features.
Dean? Cas said, carefully, as if he would spook him and Dean burst into action.
Pushing Cas roughly to the side he sat down on his knees and picked the lock on the door, having locked it in mere seconds. Goddamn the locks on these public doors were laughable.
What are you doing? Cas asked and Dean was relieved to discover that there was no fear in his voice, only curiosity.
Dean stood and stalked Cas until the boy was backed up against the wall by the sinks.
I can’t fucking do it Cas. He rasped out, his voice hoarse from trying to keep his sobs in earlier.
You haven’t even tried. Cas whispered, immediately knowing what Dean was talking about, but his eyes were trained on Dean’s lips.
I can’t sit there with them, Dean continued forcefully.
Can’t listen to them bragging about doing this to you. I can’t. And you can’t make me. He reached up and put one hand on Cas’ neck, holding him still as he leaned down, resting his forehead against Cas’. God, he smelled so good.
Do you think this is easy for me? Cas breathed against him, putting his slender hands on Dean’s chest but not pushing away.
I can’t look at you Dean.
Dean whined because that was what Cas did to him.
I take the blame, I’ll do anything you want, just please, see me.
But Cas was shaking his head.
You don’t understand. His hands were traveling now and Dean put his other hand on Cas’ hip, pulling him tight against his body.
I don’t. I don’t understand.
He gasped when he felt Cas growing hard against him, despite everything.
I can’t look at you Dean because then I see your lips and all I can think about is what they feel like. He dragged his mouth along Dean’s neck, up to his ear.
Your presence is dangerous to me and yet all I think about is how your lips feel against my skin, my mouth. He licked Dean’s ear and Dean whimpered.
Against my cock.
Dean was shaking with desire now, tables completely turned. Cas was pressing against him, rolling his hips and licking the skin beneath Dean’s ear.
I can’t do it either Dean. He moaned and Dean reached down to squeeze his firm ass.
But I have to, you saw what they did.
Dean buried his head in the crook of Cas’ neck, inhaling him.
I need you Cas. He said and there had never been any truer words. It wasn’t just sex — that was his fucking body talking — he needed Cas everywhere, always.
This time Cas was the one to whimper and Dean’s dick jumped at the sound.
I need you too, Dean. He rasped and Dean wasn’t really certain it meant the same thing when Cas said it but he didn’t even care.
He was so blinded by lust and happiness at having Cas so close he just started ripping at the boys pants.
We’ll keep it a secret. He growled against Cas’ mouth and the smaller boy was whining what Dean thought sounded like consent.
No one will know. We won’t ever speak in school again. I know now. I understand. He yanked Cas’ pants down and Cas fucking mewled as his erection sprung free.
We can meet afterwards, anywhere. Not here. I get it, I get it.
He slunk to his knees, sucking Cas in as he went and Cas keened, bucking his hips and Dean let him fuck his mouth. Holy crap, Cas tasted good.
He was so hard, already leaking and Dean palmed his own erection with one hand while brushing the thumb of his other against Cas’ tight balls.
So good Dean. Cas was rambling in that deep voice of his. The unnatural rasp he had had yesterday was gone now but his voice was far from light. He scraped his fingernails against Dean’s scalp and rutted mercilessly against his face.
Taking me so good, my Dean.
Dean’s eyes were tearing up at the onslaught and he fucking loved it. His throat ached, his jaw ached but he just pressed himself harder against Cas, completely ignoring his gag reflexes as he let one hand travel back to Cas’ ass. When he fingered Cas’ fluttering hole Cas groaned so deep Dean felt like he could feel it through his dick.
Fuck yes. Cas ground out.
Gonna come Dean, gonna come down your pretty mouth, mark you up for me. His bucking became erratic and Dean could do nothing more than to take it as his grip in Dean’s hair tightened.
I take it back, I fucking take it all back. I couldn’t even last a day without you.
Tears spilled out of Dean’s eyes and he couldn’t honestly say they weren’t because of Cas’ words.
With one last snap of his hips Cas arched off the wall and spilled himself deep down Dean’s throat. It was hard, swallowing when he had a fat cock jammed in his mouth, but he managed the most of it. His own dick twitched angrily and he fucking had to get out of his jeans.
He stood up abruptly, Cas barely finished, and tugged at his pants, panting and in such goddamn need he couldn’t even think straight.
C’mere. Cas mumbled, obviously tired after his orgasm but he swatted Deans hands away to help him anyway.
Cas. Dean keened when he felt the boys’ hands on him.
Want you. Need you.
I know big boy. Cas soothed.
Like this. He shimmied out of his pants and boxers, helping Dean get a good grasp in the crook of his knees and used to wall to jump up. Dean immediately made to pull Cas closer but Cas smiled at him and gripped Dean’s achingly hard dick between his open legs. Dean moaned loudly and Cas swallowed it with a bruising kiss.
Up between my legs Dean. He instructed and shifted against the wall to slide down, resting the back of his knees in the bend of Dean’s elbows, making Dean almost bend him in half as he was crushed against the wall.
Dean hastened to grab Cas’ ass to keep him aloft without crushing him too much. The new angle trapped Dean’s dick between himself and Cas’ strong thighs, and made it scrape against Cas’ balls and semi-hard dick with every thrust. It felt fucking amazing. Cas grunted and pressed his back flat against the wall and Dean was afraid of hurting him so soon after he had been beaten but Cas encouraged him with a nod and Dean couldn’t help himself. Had to let go and just feel.
The position didn’t give Cas any leverage to move but he clearly wanted Dean to just take and so Dean took. Gripped Cas’ ass cheeks hard and pulled them apart, flicking his fingers against the heat there and thrusting his leaking cock in the small pocket their bodies created.
Then suddenly Cas had his hands on the collar of Dean’s Letterman and they were kissing. Dean had no idea how that was possible but it felt goddamn incredible. Was Cas some kind of freakish contortionist? Dean didn’t know but the feel of Cas’ still tight balls against the underside of Dean’s aching cock made him lose all other train of thoughts.
Feel good Dean? Cas asked, lapping at Dean’s parted lips.
So good. Dean agreed with a whinier voice than he would have admitted.
You’re so powerful Dean. So strong. Cas praised and Dean preened under the attention.
Bet you would feel so good pounding my ass.
Yes. Dean hissed, feeling the tell-tale pull in his lower stomach.
You could bend me over; curl me into a little ball.
God yes. One hand still easily held Cas against the wall, while the other skimmed up one of his smooth thighs.
Shit, you’re so bendy. Close, he was so close and Cas was laughing against his mouth. A small rumble that felt like fireworks.
This is nothing. Cas rasped out.
I can suck my own cock.
Dean made a strangled noise. There was no way that was true, was it? Fuck, his nerve endings felt on fire. He wanted to reach down and stroke himself together with Cas’ half-hard dick.
It’s true. Cas stated as if he’d read Dean’s thoughts.
I’m that much of a cock-slut. What would your friends have to say to that I wonder? he licked Dean’s jaw when Dean clenched it.
What’s wrong? Didn’t like that thought? Don’t want your friends to see how good I am?
No. Dean snarled out and braced one hand against the wall as his thrusts became frantic.
Yes. Cas hissed and snaked his arms around Dean’s neck.
Would you like to see then, Dean? he asked and there it was. There was the pull and Dean suddenly remembered they were plastered together, their shirts still on. Fuck, he couldn’t come here. They would never get rid of all the evidence and everyone would see.
But Cas was pressed against him, smelling so good, feeling so good, talking such filth. He was so close he could taste it.
Fuck. He ground out, more out of panic this time. He wanted to come, needed it, but he would have to untangle himself first.
Cas, however, didn’t seem to know. Or care. He pressed his lips to Dean’s ear.
Would you like that? Watch me bend in on myself? Watch me suck my own cock down? Would you like it, or would you get jealous?
Nononono, Dean was subconsciously screaming at himself because he couldn’t step away — couldn’t stop it — it felt too fucking amazing.
My cock belongs to you after all. Cas clarified and took a strong grip on Dean’s neck, his thumb grazing harshly over Dean’s Adam’s apple, just this side of pleasurable.
Fucking hell. Dean chocked out, stumbling back as he gripped his dick, trying to make Cas not crash to the floor while at the same time trying not to come all over him. But it was hard. His dick was jumping in his hand, spraying rope after rope of pearly white come and he had his eyes closed, he realized once he had calmed down enough to open them.
Cas was standing slightly to the side of him, his back pressed against the wall and both his hands wrapped around the wrist of the hand Dean had pressed against his shoulder, probably bruising him.
Shit, Cas. He started but he had to stop to clear his throat.
Cas smirked at him and Dean whimpered when his spent dick jumped.
You look so fucking hot when you come Dean. Cas deadpanned and stepped closer to wrap his arms around Dean’s neck again, dragging his semi against Dean’s hip.
So beautiful when you lose control like that. He mumbled as Dean panted.
I would like time to pick you apart.
Dean managed to clear his throat again to hide the whimper.
Cas, I… Fuck, did I hurt you?
Cas cocked his head to the side.
Now? he looked down and Dean did too, seeing that he narrowly had avoided all of their clothes, some come having splattered against Cas’ left thigh but otherwise missing them in favor of painting the wall and floor. He looked up again and met Dean’s eyes, smiling.
But you… fuck, it was hard to form coherent sentences. He needed to lie down. How was Cas so calm? It was like he was some kind of otherworldly creature.
At that Cas just pulled him in, pressing their lips together and Dean wasted no time snaking his own hands down Cas’ body, feeling him shudder beneath his touch.
You haven’t hurt me Dean. Cas mumbled against his lips, his tone serious.
But I have hurt you.
It’s okay Cas.
It’s not. Cas pulled away to look sternly at Dean.
I’m sorry. This school sucks but you’re the only thing that makes it bearable.
Dean smiled goofily.
Yes. Cas smirked again in that arousing way of his and if Dean didn’t know that lunch most probably was almost over he would have done something about it.
In fact, Cas continued, drawing Dean’s attention away from his lips.
You could say that I was sad and that you made me happy Dean.
Yeah? Dean asked, not quite following where this was going. Until Cas quirked an eyebrow. Oh. Oh.
Are you, he took a big gulp.
Are you saying I made you happy like a boyfriend would?
Cas pressed closer, jumping up to place his legs around Dean’s hips and Dean caught him easily, pressing him against the wall again.
I’m sorry I’m stubborn but let’s stop fucking around now. Cas rumbled out.
Would you like to be my boyfriend, Dean Winchester?
God, that was probably the biggest Dean had ever smiled.
Fucking yes, Cas. He said and felt like such a dope when Cas smiled back at him.
Dean hadn’t even cared about his teammates’ stupid questions, he had been flying through school, stupid grin on his face and eventually they had given up. He had met Sammy on the way to one class or another and his little brother had immediately — of course — understood. He had actually stopped to pat Dean on the shoulder and some chicks nearby had cooed but Dean had just grinned even brighter and nodded once before continuing to his class.
Practice had been a breeze too and Coach had seemed to have forgotten Dean’s earlier bad behavior because he took Dean to the side to talk to him about maybe changing him up to player next season. Dean had just nodded along and wondered how long this would take because he wanted to drive Cas home. Cas hadn’t been to practice but that was hardly strange. They had been having text-conversations though and had decided that Dean would pick him up a little ways away from school so that they could have some time alone in the Impala before Cas had to get home for dinner. That time had been awesomely spent.
Now, as he opened the door to the house, whistling to himself, he felt better than he ever thought he had in his entire life. Cas and he had set a date for this weekend. They would go out of town. Dean was ecstatic and had decided to hold Cas’ hand the entire date. Such a chick, he thought fondly and resolved to make the whole date into a goddamn rom-com if he got the chance. He just wanted Cas.
You’re home late. John called from the living room.
When Dean entered he saw his father sitting in the armchair, reading a newspaper. Probably looking for another case, Dean realized as he saw the scattered newspapers from all over the country on the table. John had clearly tired of sitting around and he was feeling better so Dean wasn’t complaining, even if it had only been little over half a week since the Vetalas almost drained him of his blood.
Yeah, Dean leaned against the doorframe.
Had to drive Cas home. His voice faltered at the last word. Why the hell had he said that? John wasn’t supposed to know. No one was.
Of course John heard. He looked up.
Cas? he asked, his tone casual.
That’s an unusual name. Is it short for something? X, perhaps?
Dean tensed. He knew from John’s tone of voice that he wasn’t getting out of this one and he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to get out anyhow. Maybe his unconsciousness had been telling him something, letting him slip up like that.
Yeah. He confirmed and John nodded, turning a page in the paper.
And she’s back to making you happy?
Good. John read for a moment and Dean considered that maybe that would be all after all. But of course not.
I raised you to be a hunter you know. John looked up and only continued when he saw Dean nodding.
Hunters are tough people Dean, I didn’t raise you to be some sissy.
Dean stiffened immediately.
What do you mean? he pressed out and John casually turned a page again.
I’m saying this girl’s making you happy now but you’ve been very moody lately and I’m guessing that’s because of this little crush of yours. He pinned Dean down with a hard stare.
Are you letting this girl make you her little bitch?
Dean actually relaxed at that.
It’s not like that dad. He mumbled.
We’ve had some shit to overcome or whatever. He looked away, uncomfortable and kinda wishing Sammy was here to help him. God knew that kid was better with words than him.
Overcome what? I know this is a small town and that you’re the new kid but you’re a Winchester.
As if that would make any difference.
Dean, is this… This Cas—
It’s Castiel. Dean blurted out, unable to keep this charade going any longer.
John looked thoughtful.
Like the angel?
Yes. Dean actually smiled.
Angel of Thursday, right?
Huh. John looked down at his newspaper.
I always thought Castiel was a guy’s name. He shrugged but didn’t see Dean stiffening again.
But I suppose angels are sexless or something so it could be unisex, what the hell do I know?
It is a guy.
Dean braced himself, taking a step towards his dad and squaring his shoulders.
Cas is a guy dad. I like a boy.
John took pause at that.
Are you saying you’re gay?
I’m saying I’m gay for Cas. God, it felt good to say out loud. Better than he would have imagined.
John scrunched up his nose for the briefest moment before obviously forcing himself to look neutral.
Okay? Dean could barely believe what he was hearing.
Just… Okay? Just like that?
John actually frowned at that.
I can’t say I… agree completely but Dean, he paused to sigh and looked down at his newspaper again as if that had any answers in it.
You’re my son and I want you to be happy and honestly? he looked up at Dean’s stunned face.
You seem a lot happier when you’re with that kid than when you’re not so go, be happy with a guy. My liquor cabinet will thank you for it.
What. In. The. Everliving. Fuck?
Dean couldn’t believe his ears and he grinned goofily before he could stop himself. John obviously noticed because he smiled, almost shyly, back at him.
Just remember, Dean, the hunter’s life is hard.
I know dad, I’m not giving up being a hunter.
John’s eyes actually softened at that.
I’m not saying… Just know that love is difficult, okay?
Dean blushed at the mention of love but he kept it to himself.
We’ll see dad. He stated firmly.
We’ll be staying in this town for a long while. We’ll see what happens.
Sure son. John returned to his paper, making it clear that the conversation was over and Dean was so happy he practically bounced up the stairs to his room.
Fucking hell, he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling. His family was approving his boyfriend. His boyfriend. Dean brought up a picture he had snapped of Cas on his phone and stared dreamily at it. Who knew what would happen in the couple of years they were staying here? No one could say for sure anymore. Dean had always thought he wanted to be a hunter but this domestic life was fine too, now that he had gotten used to it. They were coping just fine and the thought that he might have Cas waiting for him when he got home from work, school, or maybe a hunt made the possibilities seem endless. He didn’t care what happened in the future, he had Cas now and that was all that mattered.
Just to not feel like a complete chick he decided to send Cas a decidedly manly text.
wish u were here now. would fuk u so hard
There, that certainly proved he was a man and not some sissy, he thought with a stupid grin. His phone dinged not a minute later.
At family dinner, don’t make me pop a boner.
Dean groaned and made sure his door was closed before he gently palmed his crotch. Fuck, Cas always made him lose control. Just the thought of Cas being the one with the uncomfortable boner was making Dean’s blood rush faster.
sorry :P was looking at a pic of u and fuck…
Dean, don’t. You dropped me off, you saw all the cars.
Dean grinned and popped the button on his jeans, thinking about what to write next when his phone went off again.
Oh God. Sitting next to my aunt and she just asked why I’m squirming.
I didn’t even say anything! :D
Just the thought of you… You’re probably already touching yourself.
Dean moaned and bit his lip to keep his noises to a minimum. Sammy hearing was one thing but he couldn’t fucking have John hearing this shit. Not after he’d proven to be so supporting.
Tell me I’m wrong, Dean.
Dean knew that wasn’t a plea, Cas was challenging him and Dean wondered when the hell the tables had turned. He wanted Cas hot and heavy at his dinner and here he was, getting unraveled by the boy once again. Fuck, he wanted Cas there with him. On top of him. Around him.
He groaned again and freed his leaking erection. Making a snap decision he pulled up the camera on his phone and took a picture, not showing much but enough so that Cas would know what was going on.
look at what u do to me. take responsibility
He attached the picture to the text and bit his lip, pressing send before he could change his mind. He gripped his dick as he waited for a reply, just to take the edge off. Sliding leisurely, he kept the touch light as he waited.
Just when he started thinking he had done something stupid — they’d confirmed that they were going through with this just this afternoon after all — his phone rang and the caller ID flashed Cas.
Feeling more proud than he was entitled to, he swiped the screen to answer.
Dean. Fuck, Cas’ voice was ragged. Dean arched his back and unconsciously sped up his hand around his dick.
Dean, do you have any idea— Cas cut himself off with a low moan that went straight to Dean’s dick.
Thought… thought you we’re at dinner. Dean groaned out, completely forgetting to tease Cas.
Had to leave. Cas panted.
You sending me pictures like that. I almost came in my pants at the table.
Oh God Cas. Dean whimpered, fisting his dick so fast but it wasn’t enough.
Where are you now?
Talk to me.
Cas’ breath hitched.
Are you fucking your hand, Dean?
Cas groaned and the sound was so gravelly, so deep, that Dean felt like he could feel it through the phone.
Are you lying down? Dean moaned out a yes and Cas swallowed loudly.
Turn around and lie on your stomach Dean. He instructed and Dean complied with such haste he almost slid off the bed.
Are you on your bed?
Yes. He bucked his hips against the bedspread but there was no way that that was going to be enough.
Yes. He grunted out again.
Take one of your pillows Dean. Cas rumbled out and Dean snagged the closest one.
Fold it in half, make a tunnel. I know you know how.
Dean did, of course. He’d spent enough times at crummy motel rooms in his adolescence. The first thrust through the makeshift hole was crooked but the second one felt just right and he gasped loudly.
That’s right Dean. Cas groaned and Dean could hear him speeding his jacking up, the acoustics of the bathroom making the noise travel.
Fuck your pillow and think of me. I want you to soil it, come all over it, and pretend it’s me you’re fucking into. How are you taking me, Dean?
God, Dean could barely think and Cas wanted him to answer questions?
Behind. He grunted out and bent over the pillow, cradling it to his crotch.
You pounding me doggy style? Cas breathed and Dean couldn’t believe the filthy mouth the timid-looking little boy had. Dean had to bite his lower lip to keep from screaming.
You like me like that? Bent over and at your mercy? Cas’ breath hitched again.
I’m close Dean. Your noises— he bit himself off with a rumbling moan.
I’m gonna come all over this fucking sink, thinking about you fucking my ass, Dean. Shit.
Cas. The word was one long drawn-out whine and the bed shook with the force of his thrusts. He was sweating and he could fucking taste it. The electricity, the raw need, forcing itself out of him.
Come for me Dean. Cas panted, ragged, and Dean could see what he looked like when he came. Sweaty, blushing, radiant.
Dean’s body stiffened as his hips jerked through his orgasm, come pushing itself out in waves and coating the pillow, leaving him a whimpering mess in so many ways.
Fuck. He managed after a while and he could hear Cas humming contentedly on the other side.
I’m not sleeping on this pillow ever again. He laughed breathlessly when Cas did and laid down on the bed again, careful to push the soiled pillow to the floor.
You own me a new one.
Yes, well. Cas cleared his throat.
That will teach you to disrupt me when I’m in compromising situations.
Dean smiled lazily at the ceiling, gently caressing his sensitive dick.
Couldn’t help it, had to talk to you.
Cas was silent for a while and Dean could hear him moving around, maybe cleaning up his own mess.
I miss you too. He said eventually and Dean felt warmness spread throughout his chest.
I told dad about you. About us. He said, so low it was almost a whisper.
Yeah? Cas asked, sounding just as reverent as Dean felt and Dean was relieved to hear he didn’t seem angry at someone else finding out about their secret.
What did he say?
I don’t think he likes me being gay but he said he wanted me happy. He seemed genuinely okay with it.
Good. Cas said simply, sounding smug and Dean closed his eyes, grinning.
Besides, I told him I wasn’t gay.
Told him only for you. Dean swallowed nervously.
Only gay for you, Cas.
Cas’ breath hitched.
Now I really miss you.
Dean couldn’t put words to how happy and relieved he felt at that moment.
We’ll see each other in school tomorrow. He said instead, swimming in his endorphins.
Yeah. Cas agreed but didn’t sound as happy anymore. Dean’s chest immediately felt heavy.
We’ll see each other.
Dean understood what that meant.
True. And afterwards we can go for a drive. You don’t have any family dinners tomorrow, right? I don’t have practice. Maybe we could go over to my house?
I’d like that Dean.
When he heard Cas’ response he felt so calm he almost started crying.
There’s that smile I like so much.
When Dean woke the next day it was with a smile on his lips, honestly looking forward to going to school. He didn’t even get side-tracked when John announced that he was heading out again. New hunt, barely two towns over, would probably not take that long. Dean only half-listened. Both to that and to Sammy complaining about it all the way to school.
You’re unusually… Sam paused to think as he exited the car.
What can I say Sammy? Dean strolled ahead, feeling absolutely carefree. For fucking once.
You could say you’re in love.
Dean managed to hide him choking on his own spit by coughing. Yeah. Not at all as conspicuous.
And you can shut up, bitch.
Jerk. Sammy called affectionately, earning himself a scowl from a nearby teacher as he raced ahead of Dean. Dean just grinned and waved at him before slipping down the corridor to homeroom.
When lunch rolled around his mood had decidedly darkened. And it was all thanks to his friends. They still wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Cas. Lisa and Alastair were periodically eying him as the rest of the cheerleaders and jocks at the table took turns making jabs about Cas’… Well, Cas’ everything to be frank. Was there nothing about the boy they would leave alone?
He was realizing he was being tested. They wanted to see what he would do if they pushed this matter too far. So his lie about wanting to take care of any problems on his own had maybe not worked so well. Or maybe it had and they wanted to see it. Fuck if Dean knew, all he had was a growing darkness inside him and a headache from keeping it down.
And just look now. Michael snorted and waved his fork in the general direction of Cas’ table.
He’s still looking at you.
No, he’s not. Dean muttered without looking. Cas didn’t want him looking so Dean knew he wasn’t either. They were going to be careful. But Dean was suspecting it wasn’t working that well.
The jock table were getting themselves riled up, talking about Cas and Dean had to white-knuckle the table’s edge to keep from launching himself at Uriel when he made a disgusting comment about Castiel needing to be neutered.
What? Uriel asked as the table roared with laughter, feigning innocence.
I’m just saying that that would be better for all of us.
Don’t react Winchester, Dean thought furiously. Don’t. React. But it was so fucking hard. Cas was just sitting there, only two tables down, and he probably heard everything. Cas, his boyfriend Cas, was sitting there listening to people japing about his genitals and Dean was still fucking sitting there with them. No. This was too hard.
I agree. Michael sniggered.
That way we wouldn’t have to worry about him ogling us.
Lisa laughed at him.
As if someone would ogle you.
Hey! Castiel would! He’s hungry for cocks and who the fuck knows what’s going on in that creepy little mind of his? Best to poke his eyes out to be sure.
Dean stood up forcefully, bottles of water rattling and some actually falling. Alastair’s apple rolled to the floor.
Hey man, where you going? Alastair yelled after him but Dean couldn’t answer. Could only stalk up to Cas’ table and the slim boy sitting at it, looking up at him all frightened and Dean couldn’t blame him. He was so angry he couldn’t even see straight. His vision was red at the edges and it took all his willpower not turn around at pummel Michael when he, too, called after Dean.
At Cas’ table he slammed his fists down so hard the whole table jumped and the rest of the cafeteria went dead quiet, watching them.
Dean leaned in, getting up in Cas’ face, and he could see that Cas was holding his breath. His beautiful blue eyes were bigger than Dean had ever seen them. Scared.
I. Can’t. Do. It. He pressed out through his clenched teeth, the words barely audible and jagged even to himself.
Dean. Cas breathed out, so low that Dean wasn’t certain he hadn’t imagined it but it sounded like a warning.
Dean gave a small shake of his head and gripped Cas’ shirt to pull him even closer.
Can’t do it, Cas. Can’t.
Dean forcefully dragged Cas to his feet before he could protest and started pulling him behind him, making a beeline for the exit. The cafeteria erupted around them with shouts of
Fight! Fight! Fight!, someone calling for the teachers and Dean’s teammates laughing and looking relieved. Dean frowned when they rose as if to follow him, realizing he had made a momentous mistake but not about to stop now.
Veering on his way out so that he had to take the route past the dork-table, he gave Sammy a look. A look of apology but mostly a look begging for help. Sam pressed his lips together and the last thing Dean saw as he pushed through the doors was Sammy picking up one of his potatoes, throwing it at the back of Uriel’s head and yelling
It was that guy over there, I saw it!.
The doors muffled some of the sounds but as Dean continued to drag Cas along he could still hear the encouraging chant of
Food fight! that started up behind them.
Realizing they were not out of harm’s way yet, Dean paused to look at his options.
He cut Cas off with a sharp tug and Cas didn’t catch his breath again until Dean stopped to rip open the door to the nearest janitor’s closet, pushing Cas inside.
He slammed the door shut by pressing Cas up against it, crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss. He growled in the back of his throat when he felt Cas responding to him and he shoved his hands in the back pockets of Cas’ jeans to pull him closer as he rutted against him.
I can’t do it Cas. He panted out between kisses.
I need to have you.
You have me. I don’t— Cas moaned when Dean leaned down to nip at his neck.
I don’t understand.
I’m your boyfriend Cas. Dean snarled out as he started working Cas’ pants open.
Yes. Cas hissed and bucked his hips when Dean fished him out, already so hard despite his confusion.
You’re my boyfriend, Dean. Cas mewled, obviously taken by Dean’s demanding attitude.
Dean growled deeply and yanked his own jeans down, fisting the both of them together. Cas keened at the touch and arched his back beautifully. The feel of their smooth cocks sliding together made Dean delirious with want.
I can’t be your boyfriend and sit with those assholes.
I can’t do it. He sped up, crowding Cas against the door and Cas panted in their shared breath.
I need you so much.
You have me. Oh, God, Dean—
Not for real. Dean snarled.
But I’m gonna. I’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve. The one that doesn’t hide from you.
Fuck Dean, I’m—
Cas bit his plump bottom lip and bucked violently, spilling his seed all over Dean’s hand, cock and their shirts. It looked so fucking hot Dean had to bury his head against Cas’ neck to keep his shout from being too loud. His release shot out of him in warm ropes and he kept tugging well after the both of them had become too sensitive, Cas sobbing brokenly but still pushing his hips against Dean’s.
I’m gonna quit the team Cas.
I will. I will fucking quit those assholes and I will sit with you every day and eat lunch and they can all suck it.
But Cas was shaking his head.
It doesn’t work like that Dean. You can’t always protect me.
He nosed along Cas’ neck, delighting in the shiver that he drew from Cas’ pliant body.
I can if I’m in all your classes.
You can’t do that now, the semester is already half-way over.
I can, and I will.
Cas looked at him with astonishment and Dean fucking loved it.
You’ll ruin your whole future. He whispered and Dean had never wanted to tell Cas the truth about his life as much as he wanted to in that moment. What future? Cas was all he wanted and every hunter lived for the day.
Instead he leaned down and kissed Cas slowly, almost chastely.
You’ll see baby, I’m yours. It’ll be fine. He promised into the kiss.
Cas was shaking against him and Dean realized that he was crying silently. He hugged him tightly and was so relieved when Cas wrapped himself around Dean that he almost started crying himself.
You want that, Cas? Want me to be yours?
Yes. Cas rasped out and Dean buried his nose in the boys hair.
I’m gonna go fix everything today but for now, he pulled back to look Cas in the eyes, still beautiful if a little puffy.
You’ll probably gonna have to act like I beat you up babe.
Cas actually smiled. A little shakily, sure, but it was a wondrous smile.
I get that.
It’ll be different. Dean leaned down and pecked Cas on the nose.
Starting tomorrow, you’ll see.
Okay Dean. Cas answered but Dean could hear that he didn’t completely believe it. Probably because he wasn’t used to good things happening to him.
Well, Dean was about to change that shit right now.
As I’m sure some of you have figured out, Cas’ comment was inspired by this
And if you haven’t seen it already you’re welcome! <3
Chapter 6: pt. 23-25
In which Dean thinks everything’s going swimmingly until it doesn’t
Thank you for your encouragements!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Dean rapped at the door and entered when he heard Coach answering.
Winchester? Coach asked and looked up from the papers he had strewn across his desk.
Dean took a seat without being invited to.
What can I do for you? Coach glanced up at the clock on his wall.
Aren’t you supposed to be in class now?
Dean smiled pleasantly.
I needed to talk to you. He leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees.
I know I’m doing good in practice and I really appreciate that you took me in and even consider me for the team after so little time—
Well, Coach interrupted him.
I only give what you students deserve.
Even so. Dean said, his voice rising to quiet the Coach’s ramblings. Coach looked a little miffed but he silenced.
I thank you for it but let’s be honest, I’m not cut out for the team.
What would make you say that?
Dean rose and removed the stupid Letterman, once and for all, standing there in only the tee he had on under and that he had turned inside-out to hide the come stains.
Because the team are a bunch of assholes. He put the jacket on Coach’s desk.
I quit the team Coach. He looked down at the little name tag at the front of the desk.
I mean, Mr. Elkins.
Mr. Elkins rose too, accepting the jacket gingerly.
Dean, are you really sure about this? he frowned when Dean nodded.
I know your grades aren’t the best, playing football could really help you get somewhere.
With all due respect Mr. Elkins, Dean said as he went for the door.
I already know where I’m going in life and it ain’t pretty. He flashed Mr. Elkins a parting smile.
I’m not gonna spend my time wasting it on undeserving asshats.
Feeling rather good about himself he decided to immediately continue down this path. He had thought to stop in with the student counselor after classes were finished but he was riding such a high right now he just thought it was sad not to use it.
Mrs. Harvelle’s door was slightly ajar but Dean knocked on it anyway, just to be polite. She looked up and smiled at him over her desk but he could immediately see that she didn’t know his name. Still, she gestured for him to come in and sit down and he did, after closing the door.
What can I do for you…?
What can I do for you, Dean?
Dean resisted the urge to purse his lips. This would be harder, Cas had a point after all, they were well over the middle of the semester and changing all his classes could prove difficult, especially if he hoped to graduate at all in the end. But he was still new to this school so he had high hopes, just thought he would have to be a little more honest with this woman than he had been with Mr. Elkins.
I need to change my classes. He stated, eager to get to the point.
Her brow creased and she went to a filing cabinet.
All of them.
She turned around and looked at him, obviously surprised and quite confused.
Dean smiled as best he could.
I think you heard me. She frowned at that but went back to the cabinet, rifling through it until she produced his schedules.
I should also inform you that I’ve quit the football team. He felt compelled to say and she looked at him for a long time when she’d sat down at her desk again.
Are you having an identity crisis? she asked and folded her hands over his schedules but she didn’t look angry.
Then may I ask what has prompted this sudden change?
Dean sighed and shifted in his seat, uncomfortable.
Can you just change everything or not?
I can. She nodded.
But you will have to tell me why. Are you bullied? Dean snorted but she frowned at that.
Bullying is a real problem, Dean, and—
I fucking know. He gritted out and her frown deepened.
He sighed again, realizing his defeat. Fucking hell, he should bring Sammy with him as his lawyer everywhere he went. Or as his interpreter since the rest of the world didn’t seem to speak Dean-fuckery.
I quit the team because they’re insensitive bastards and I can’t stand them. She nodded at that as if that was common knowledge and it made Dean angrier.
And I need to change my classes so that they will coincide with Castiel Novak’s classes.
Her eyebrows shot to the roof at that.
Because I need to protect my boyfriend from the people who called themselves my friends. He looked at her with the most defiant look he could muster, daring her to say something vicious, but she just stared at him as if she had never seen something so surprising in her life.
Dean squared his jaw.
That’s right. They’ve already beaten him so bad he had to be taken to the hospital and this shit of a school board did nothing about it.
She actually had the decency to look down at that.
I was made aware. She muttered and Dean thought she sounded angry. At what, he could only imagine.
Yeah, well, I’m about to go apeshit crazy pretending I don’t want to hold his fucking hand in public so I’m done. She looked up again, not chastising his language but actually looking encouraging.
I want you to switch me to his classes so I can be with him and so that I can punch any and all sons of bitches that try to touch him.
This school doesn’t take kindly to violence. She said but she was already writing something on his schedule.
Don’t I know.
This will have an impact on your grades. She was rising and going to the cabinet again, presumably to look for Cas’ schedules.
Dean shrugged even though she couldn’t see him.
I already have some of the classes and I’ll catch up on the rest.
She nodded and sat down again, drawing up papers that were marked
I’m sure you will, you seem smart enough. She started writing again.
And Castiel is exceptionally bright, I’m sure he will help you if you need it.
Dean grinned, finally realizing that this was happening.
Fuck yeah he will.
Language. She said again but she was smiling at him so he kept grinning.
Now, it’s just formality but since you’re underage I’m gonna have to call your father about this, which of the two numbers you’ve stated could I reach him on today?
Dean looked and pointed at Bobby’s number.
That one. She nodded and he leaned back.
Does that mean you’re fixing this so it’ll be done for tomorrow?
I think that would be for the best, don’t you?
Yeah. He said, pushing to his feet when he realized this meeting was over.
Thank you Mrs. Harvelle.
She reached over her desk and he eagerly shook her hand.
It’s Ellen. She said.
And I hope you make that boy happy. God knows he deserves it.
Absolutely, Ellen. He said with a wink and practically skipped out of the office. Shit, this had gone so much better than he ever would have expected. To actually be transferred, to actually have her be supportive, even after he had revealed everything. Fuck, maybe this school wasn’t so bad after all, maybe everything would be alright.
You’d think someone who’s just gotten beaten up would look the part, is all I’m saying. Uriel muttered to Alastair and Michael just as Dean sidled up to them.
Cas was walking down the stairs they were facing and even though he didn’t look particularly hurt he still didn’t look good. His tee was inside-out, his hair disheveled in a concerning way and his eyes were still puffy, standing out in stark contrast to his pale complexion. Dean wanted to hug him. Instead he turned to his former teammates who jumped when he addressed them.
Only an idiot would beat someone where everyone would see the evidence. He snarled and they actually had the decency to look guilty.
Got a few gut punches in then? Alastair inquired but Dean ignored him.
Sorry I missed the food fight. He said and opened his locker to get his stuff for the day.
I saw Uriel take a hit.
Yeah but your little bro pointed the guy out for me, so that’s taken care of.
He’s cool. Michael piped up and Dean raised his eyebrows questioningly.
Your brother. He clarified and Dean nodded once.
Yeah, he is. He agreed and shouldered his backpack, prepared to leave for the day. He would have to talk to Sam. Thank him and warn him because shit was gonna hit the fan real soon.
Hey man. Alastair stopped Dean with a hand on his shoulder.
Where’s your Letterman?
Dean smiled at him but it came out a sneer and Alastair dropped his hand.
I quit the team.
Dean drew a big breath.
Because you guys are fucking assholes. He stated and walked away.
When Dean came to school the next day he had his old leather jacket on and it had never felt better. Sammy was beaming proudly at him as they parted ways and he only worried about his brother for a little while. Sam was a Winchester after all and Winchesters could take care of themselves.
He quickly made his way to the corridor Cas’ locker was in and he was already drawing glances from the other students. Maybe it was because his leather jacket clashed so horribly with the image his Letterman had created or maybe it was because the team already had started rumors about him. He didn’t care. They could stare all they wanted because there was Cas, standing by his locker and looking fucking awesome.
He snuck up behind him and when Cas turned in surprise Dean put one hand on his neck and drew him in for a shallow kiss on the lips. People all around them gasped and Dean thought he heard a camera going off but all he could see was Cas’ brilliant eyes.
Dean? What are you doing?
Told you I’d fix it Cas. He mumbled and rubbed his thumb against Cas’ neck.
Fix what? Cas looked down at his body.
Where’s your Letterman?
Say I’m your boyfriend Cas. He asked, loudly enough for the people standing there gawking at them to hear and Cas seemed to finally catch on.
You’re my boyfriend? he asked timidly and Dean kissed him quickly again.
You’re fucking right I am.
Man, did Dean get a lot of spiteful words tossed at him during the day and he and Cas both got their fair share of evil glances but nothing could make Dean let go of Cas’ hand. Cas was walking with his head bowed, beet red but clutching Dean’s hand so hard he nearly cut off the circulation. Dean loved it.
At lunch everyone at school knew what was going on and even a lot of the teachers were frowning at them but Dean made sure not to do anything too affectionate, nothing any of the straight couples wouldn’t do, so they were mostly left alone by the staff.
Dean whistled happily as he carried Cas’ lunch tray for him, walking right past the jock table with Cas in tow, his head still bowed. The jock table alternated between gawking and looking pissed. Michael was the only one that looked sad. Dean smirked at him and walked to Cas’ table, proudly taking a seat.
This is too much attention. Cas mumbled and Dean started unwrapping his sandwich for him when he made no move to do it himself.
It will pass babe. He said jovially, secretly enjoying the show. Yes, he thought defiantly. Look at us and really see us you assholes.
Suddenly another lunch tray was placed before him and he looked up to see his brother smiling broadly at him.
Mind if we sit here?
We? Dean asked and was pleasantly surprised when half the dork-table joined them, including Jess and Ruby.
Of course. He smiled then and the girls giggled.
Oh God. Cas mumbled, burying his head in his hands.
I’m gonna be sick.
You alright there, little bro?
Dean looked over his shoulder to see Gabriel and the red-head from the nerd-table joining them together with a clearly uncomfortable Lucifer and the smirking brunette he frequently was seen with.
What? Dean asked and half-rose, his eyes narrowed.
You think you can come here now? Where were you before?
Careful there Dean-o. Gabriel warned but Dean was having none of it. Only Cas’ hand on his arm stopped him.
It’s fine. He mumbled and Dean glared when the brunette slid down beside Cas.
You look a little pale, Clarence. She commented with a smile. Dean clenched his hands when she touched Cas’ forehead but Cas didn’t shy away from the touch and the nickname told Dean that this was not their first time meeting so he guessed it was okay. For now. He sat down slowly because that was what Cas wanted. No big scene.
The rest of them took a seat as well and Dean saw that Sam was looking at the newcomers with interest so he guessed it would be okay. Sammy was a pretty good judge of character after all.
They had the rest of their meal and it was not completely uncomfortable. The conversations were a little stilted but that was to be expected when three cliques that normally didn’t mix tried their hardest. Dean was just happy that they did try.
At some point Dean mouthed ‘thank you’ to Sam and Sam smiled, inclining his head to Cas to make Dean look. Cas was eating his sandwich slowly, little mouse bites at a time, his head still bowed but Dean could see that he was smiling, that little quirk of his lips. It made Dean’s chest warm and he couldn’t resist leaning down and pecking Cas on the cheek. Someone at the table aww’d and Gabriel laughed.
Cas stiffened for the slightest moment before curling himself against Dean’s side, Dean’s arm wrapping easily around his shoulders, pulling him closer.
The rest of the week passed pretty quickly. For Dean at least, he wasn’t so sure about Cas who alternated between looking terrified and deliriously happy. Things at school was nowhere near getting better but at least the jocks had stopped being little bitches about Cas and were now spewing filth about Dean instead. Dean didn’t mind one bit. He knew what he was and he didn’t need a bunch of stupid kids telling him what was what.
When the weekend finally rolled around Dean could hardly wait. He and Cas drove to a small town — smaller than this shithole even — just south of where they lived and where no one really knew them. There they could enjoy a dinner at a restaurant without everyone at school staring disgustedly at them. Nothing wrong with two friends eating burgers together after all so there was nothing to it.
Except it totally was and Dean was nervous as hell because he was finally on a goddamn date with Castiel fucking Novak. Holy crap.
They did all the rom-com shit, just like Dean had vowed to do. Dinner, walk in the park, movie. Dean loved it. Cas told him a lot about himself and Dean told him some about what he had done before he came to live here. Nothing much but God, he wanted to tell Cas everything. Maybe someday, he’d thought as they drove back home, Cas’ hand in his. Maybe someday Cas could know it all and it would be okay.
Now, in the Winchester’s empty house — empty because Dean had threatened Sam with his life if he returned before morning and Sammy had rolled his eyes and made sleep-over arrangements with Jess — Dean finally had Cas to himself and apparently Cas had been waiting impatiently as well because he rounded on Dean as soon as the front door was closed.
You have a lovely home. He stated and threw his arms around Dean’s neck, drawing him close.
I would really like a tour. The kiss he gave Dean made Dean’s knees weak. Fucking yes.
Tomorrow. Right now I’d like to fuck.
Dean groaned deeply.
I thought we would never get here, my balls are hard as elephant skin.
Cas grinned cheekily at him.
Dean pulled Cas’ hips against his and they moaned into each other’s mouths. Cas tasted of electricity and his hands were eagerly exploring Dean’s ass and back. They had had some shit to deal with at school and Cas at home with his parents being clued in on what was going on so they hadn’t really had time alone between Wednesday and now. Dean was not fucking kidding about his balls.
Deftly he lifted Cas and Cas immediately wrapped his legs around Dean. Walking like this was fine but when Cas started kissing Dean’s neck Dean nearly tripped.
God, Cas. He groaned and stopped at the stairs, unable to continue. They half-tumbled down and Dean pressed Cas against the steps.
If we don’t stop I’m gonna have to fuck you here.
Cas rolled his hips in that sinful way of his.
If you don’t get a move on I’m gonna come in my pants before we even get started.
Dean’s hips stuttered against Cas’ and he gripped the other boy’s hair, cradling his head, as he drew him in for another deep kiss. Fuck, it felt so good to finally, finally, hold Cas like this. No pretense. No games. Cas was fucking his now.
They tore apart with difficulty and dragged themselves up the stairs. Dean had never been happier that his room was the first on the right than he was at this point. Crashing through the door, Dean started pulling on Cas’ shirt.
I’m spending the night here. Cas deadpanned as if the thought just occurred to him.
Shit, I hope so. Dean moaned when Cas’ chest was finally revealed to him. Pale planes of skin, surprisingly muscled for someone so scrawny-looking. Dean licked his lips and dove right in, sucking at Cas’ right nipple and Cas gripped Dean’s hair hard.
I should’ve brought change. Cas continued with a gasp.
And something to sleep in.
I’d rather have you naked. Dean growled out as he changed to the other nipple.
I thought you wanted to see me in the Zeppelin-tee. Cas moaned out and Dean had to grip himself through his jeans.
God, don’t talk like that Cas. He gasped, looking up to see Cas smirking at him.
I already had to endure seeing you in your glasses at the movies. He stepped in to capture Cas’ lips again.
And during classes. Do you know how many times I’ve jacked off between Wednesday and now?
About as many as I?
Dean groaned again, desperate to get things moving.
Cas, I… he paused to look away, suddenly feeling insecure and it was such a foreign feeling for him to have in this kind of situation.
I’ve never slept with a guy before. You should know.
When he met Cas’ eyes again they were fucking on fire.
Well then, Cas breathed out heatedly and Dean could feel Cas’ cock twitching against his hip.
Let’s rectify that.
Dean’s eyes were almost completely black with arousal as he and Cas’ pawed at each other, ripping their clothes off. Cas took a moment, though, to trace Dean’s anti-possession tattoo with his fingers and Dean wanted, yet again, to tell him everything. He opened his mouth but was interrupted when Cas suddenly shoved him towards the bed and he forgot everything else as he felt himself leak so much pre-come that a fat drop dribbled down to the floor.
Get lube and condoms. Cas growled and Dean fucking loved his little twink taking command like this. He almost forgot what he was doing when he saw Cas crawling onto his bed, wriggling his firm ass like a goddamn pro. When Cas noticed that Dean was rooted on the spot he turned his head over his shoulder and glared at him.
Dean. He said, his voice a deep rumbled that ran down Dean’s spine like fire.
Hurry up. I want you to finger me open and I want you to fuck me, tonight.
Yes. Dean hissed out and ran over to the night stand.
Fucking yes Cas.
He tossed the condom to the bed and climbed in behind Cas, coating his fingers and warming the lube before even touching Cas’ skin.
Look so beautiful like this. Dean cooed as he stroked Cas’ side and petted his puckered hole with his slick fingers. Cas arched his back.
Dean, need you in me. Shit. Only Cas could make such a whine sound so demanding.
Yes baby. Dean moaned and breached the rim of Cas’ hole with his finger. Holy motherfucker that was tight. And hot. And tight. This was just his finger too, how the hell was he supposed to last when he finally stuck his dick in here?
He had to reach down to stroke himself a couple of times just to even his breathing out. He had watched some porn in preparation for this but watching and doing — and feeling — was nowhere near the same. He hadn’t even dared try this on himself and now he was beginning to wonder if that was a bad or a good thing.
Cas was bucking his hips back, effectively fucking himself on Dean’s finger and his body was sucking Dean in every time he moved. Dean had a hard time breathing right. His dick throbbed and jumped at the sight, more pre-come leaking out, and he bent down to kiss Cas’ lower back.
More. Cas pressed out through gritted teeth.
Give me more.
Dean immediately inserted another finger on the next stroke and Cas hissed approvingly, obviously enjoying the stretch and Dean watched in awe as Cas’ body swallowed everything Dean gave him.
Fuck, baby. Dean groaned brokenly.
One more finger Dean, you’re so big.
Dean’s dick jumped again and he complied, adding a third finger and Cas moaned, burying his head against the bed. Dean was unable to judge if this was going too fast — if Cas was rushing it — but as long as Cas seemed to enjoy himself he wasn’t going to stop.
Just to be sure, though, he leaned over Cas and peered around to his front. True to form, Cas’ beautifully curved cock was hanging fat and heavy between Cas’ legs, looking hard enough to hammer nails with. Unable to resist, Dean snaked his unoccupied hand around and grabbed Cas’ dick.
Cas practically howled and bucked wildly against both of Dean’s hands, a litany of Dean’s name and cuss words slipping out between his parted lips. Fuck, Dean wanted to kiss him.
Dean, Dean. Cas moaned and Dean moaned with him.
Stop, you have to stop.
No. Dean moaned against his skin, lapping at his sweat.
Feels so good, Cas. Need you.
No, Dean, you have to. Fuck! he trashed back against Dean’s chest when Dean found that bundle all the pornos had been talk about. Cas definitely seemed to enjoy it as much as the actors had so he pressed it again. It made Cas yelp and he slid out of Dean’s grasp faster than Dean thought humanly possible, his fist gripping the base of his dick hard. Goddamnit, he looked beautiful, his face scrunched up, looking like he… Oh.
Dean smirked and leaned over Cas’ prone form, brushing his lips against Cas’.
We’re you gonna come Cas? he said in a sultry voice and Cas gasped in their shared breath.
Don’t want to?
Want to come with you in me. Cas moaned out and Dean growled deep in his chest. His hand travelled down Cas’ body again but to Dean’s confusion Cas stopped him.
I’m prepped enough. He stated firmly.
I’m done. Want your cock now, Dean.
Dean could hardly argue with that demanding voice. He ripped the wrapper of the condom and rolled it down his poor, neglected cock. Cas shifted so that he could lie completely on his back, his legs drawn up against his chest to present his ass.
This position okay with you? he asked and Dean nearly had a seizure when he looked up and saw how debauched Cas looked.
He quickly plastered himself to Cas’ chest, lining his dick up with his tight entrance.
Any way with you baby. He whispered against Cas’ lips and Cas shivered against him.
Cas bucked his hips best he could in this position and it was all the answer Dean needed. He prodded the head of his dick against Cas for a moment, collecting his nerve and his stamina before finally pushing it. God, it was a stretch. Three fingers had definitely loosened Cas’ muscle but it was in no way enough to keep it from stealing Dean’s breath away. Cas was in a similarly breathless state and Dean could see him clenching his jaws tightly.
You gotta… he swallowed hard.
You gotta say if I hurt you.
Cas opened his eyes and Dean could hardly see any blue in them, only black arousal and it spurred him on.
You’re big. Cas deadpanned as if that statement would add any information.
Dean moaned and leaned his head down as he complied with Cas’ wishes, pushing in slowly until he finally bottomed out, feeling his balls rest snugly against Cas’ heated body. Best. Feeling. Ever.
Dean heaved out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and he could feel Cas shaking beneath him. Fuck. He’d just entered and he already felt like blowing his load.
Dean. Cas growled out, his voice more gravelly than usual.
Shit, Cas, I just need to—
Cas cut him off by grabbing a hand-full of his hair and pulling Dean down tight against him, his lips pressed to Dean’s ear.
Fuck me. Now.
Dean would never admit the broken sob he let out at that command but it was hard to tell if Cas heard it or not with the way he moaned as Dean drew back and slammed in hard.
The room filled with sounds of their grunting, their skin slapping together and Dean’s bed rattling in the harsh rhythm Dean had set. Cas was rolling his hips, meeting Dean’s thrusts even in this position and his body was greedily sucking Dean in. It was like nothing Dean had ever experienced before. Fuck, he wanted to take his time, map out Cas’ hole body. Discover what made him tick and he wanted, God help him, he wanted Cas inside of him as well.
When Dean leaned back on his knees the angle changed and Cas cried out in pleasure, his eyes rolling back. Dean quickly deduced that he had found his prostate again and made a point to hit it as much as he could.
Fuck, Dean, gonna come. Cas panted after only a little while, his dick bobbing and leaking.
Yes. Dean moaned.
Do it baby, come all over us.
Cas pulled his arms back, putting his hands over his head and Dean was reminded of the first time he had had Cas underneath him. Catching on quickly enough, he leaned back down, gathering Cas’ legs around his waist and grabbing Cas’ hands hard to keep them in place.
Like this Cas? he said, making his question sound like a statement.
You want to come while I hold you down, fucking your pretty little hole?
Yes, Dean, yes. Cas rambled, his earlier demeanor changed into a blubbering mess. Dean loved it. Loved everything about this; Cas’ hole clenching around him, Cas’ dick rubbing between their stomachs, Cas’ breath against his face. Cas.
G-gonna— Cas arched his back sharply and Dean slammed home one more time before Cas’ dick erupted, spraying the both of them with warm come and his inner walls fluttering like mad around Dean’s aching cock. The clench was almost unbearably strong and Dean bit down on Cas’ shoulder as he felt his release pound out of him. He wanted it to last longer, he wanted to watch as Cas came down from his high, he wanted to pull out and rip the goddamn condom off and come on Cas’ stomach, mixing their spunk but fuck it all. His hips stuttered uncoordinatedly against Cas’ ass as his dick emptied itself, his breath robbed from him.
They stayed like that for a very long time, chests heaving and Dean’s sensitive dick still inside Cas twitching every time Cas moved. Eventually Dean found his wits and rolled off of Cas, who took a big gulp of air.
Sorry. Dean smiled goofily but Cas just grinned at him and pressed against his side.
Don’t be, I like your weight on me.
Shit, Cas. Dean mumbled, not knowing what to say to that. Instead he just pulled Cas closer and kissed him slowly.
Cas hummed against his lips and when they broke off he curled against Dean, his head resting in the crook of Dean’s arm.
Best sex ever. He mumbled and Dean didn’t know why but he actually blushed at the comment. He was glad Cas didn’t see.
Hey, don’t fall asleep now. He said instead, chuckling when Cas made a pouty face, his eyes still closed.
We’ll go take a shower, then sleep.
Cas huffed and didn’t move. Dean just smiled and slid out of the bed, dragging Cas with him and when he lifted Cas up to carry him bridal style Cas let out an indignant yelp.
Shut up. Dean said before Cas could even begin to protest, and kissed his frown away.
They were abruptly awakened not three hours later by Dean’s phone blaring and calling for attention. Dean actually rolled out of the bed in his haste to get to it. One quick glance at the alarm clock on the night stand told him it was just past two a.m. and he was prepared to rip whomever was calling him a new one when he saw dad’s caller ID flashing.
Dad? he asked into the phone, still sitting on the floor and he heard Cas moving on the bed.
Dean. Dad confirmed, sounding slightly breathless.
Do you still have Rufus’ number?
I think so, why?
I’m— John suddenly silenced but just when Dean was about to ask he continued again.
Sorry, thought I heard something. I’m still on the hunt, I could use the back-up.
Dean wanted to snort and tell his dad he should’ve kept in contact with Rufus himself but there was something in John’s tone that left him on edge.
Where are you?
Still two towns over, I showed you.
You did. What is it?
Werewolves. John snapped impatiently.
There’s this barn. Just send me Rufus’ number or call him. Get him here.
Dad— Dean started but was interrupted when John screamed loudly, a distinct animalistic roar in the background and then the line died. Dean just stared at the phone, his hand shaking. There… there was no way, right?
Dean. Dean jumped high when he felt Cas’ hand on his shoulder. Cas looked really concerned.
Dean gulped. Fuck Rufus.
It’s my dad Cas. Dean said, standing and pulling on his jeans.
He needs help.
Cas got to his feet as well and started sorting out his clothes.
Where is his?
Oh no. Dean stopped him when he made to pull his shirt on.
You’re not coming.
This is dangerous shit Cas.
Cas cocked his head to the side.
Your dad’s a hunter, right?
So what was that I heard in the background? A bear? We don’t really get bears here. he reached out and touched Dean’s chest, right where his anti-possession tattoo was.
Does it have something to do with this?
Dean swallowed hard. He had wanted to tell Cas about everything, he just hadn’t thought the time would come so soon. Besides, he really didn’t have time to argue now.
Fine. He said and opened the door to his bedroom, bounding down the stairs with Cas hot on his heels.
But you’re staying in the car.
I just want to help you.
I get that Cas. Dean grumbled out as he sent off a quick text to Sam before he opened the doors to the Impala and they slid in.
I get it baby, I just don’t want you to get hurt.
Cas reached over and grabbed his hand.
Everything’s gonna be fine Dean.
Somehow Dean didn’t think so.
Driving over to the town was nothing, the roads were so empty in the middle of the night that Dean could easily speed over the limit. Finding the barn proved more difficult, however, and he never would have made it without Cas’ help.
Glad that he had brought his boyfriend after all but still scared for his safety he made good on his promise and forced Cas to wait in the car.
It’s probably nothing. Dean tried to ensure him as he killed the engine.
Cas looked around them.
This is clearly not nothing, Dean. He stated, his brow furrowed in worry.
What would you be hunting in a barn?
It… It probably just escaped in here, look there’s woods over there. He pointed and grabbed Cas’ hand when Cas just squinted suspiciously at the dark forest.
Baby? he said anxiously, feeling like he was running out of time.
Promise me you’ll stay here.
Cas looked at him for half a heartbeat too long before he leaned over and kissed Dean quickly on the mouth.
Shout if you need me.
Dean smiled a little.
I always need you.
He felt a little better when he had retrieved his gun from the trunk of the Impala and armed with silver bullets and a small silver-coated knife he quickly made his way to the barn.
He spotted John almost immediately when he opened the door. He looked unconscious and was tied to a pole, sitting on the ground with his head lolled to the side. Dean made a quick scan of the room before he snuck over to his dad. Taking in his appearance Dean could see that he hadn’t been bit in any of the obvious places. Strange, Dean thought, but he flicked up his knife and made quick work of the ropes. John was regaining consciousness as Dean worked.
Son? he asked groggily and Dean smiled a little at him.
You shouldn’t have come.
Gee, you’re welcome. Dean grumbled out.
Did they bite you?
But John was already pushing to his feet.
They heard me on the phone, there’s a lot of them. He looked down at Dean who was still sitting on his knees.
They don’t want to kill, they want to expand their flock. Please tell me you didn’t bring Sammy this time?
Dean rose too and shook his head.
No. He was already pushing past John, fighting the panic rising in his throat.
No, not Sam, but—
The howl that ripped through the night stopped them both and Dean instantly felt like he was four years old again, carrying his little brother out of a burning house. He looked at his dad as they heard glass shattering and a deep roar followed by Cas screaming.
Gun! John shouted and Dean handed it to him without hesitation, running after his dad as if his life depended on it. Which it did.
When they got outside they saw four werewolves circling a fifth one, a bigger one, and the big one had Cas in his grasp. Had evidently smashed the side window of the Impala and had reached inside, gripped Cas tight by the throat and pulled him out. He was holding Cas aloft now, Cas’ legs dangling in the air, his hands clawing at the one wrapped around his throat, cutting off his air.
Ah. The big werewolf said amiably.
The Winchesters, how good of you to join us.
John raised the gun and cocked it.
Before he could finish the sentence the werewolf bent down and bit Cas. Cas shrieked in pain but Dean couldn’t hear him over his own howl. He launched himself against the nearest werewolf, slicing at her with his knife and shoving past her when she jumped out of reach. John was firing off his gun and was apparently picking the smaller werewolves off pretty well. Dean ducked under a right hook one of them threw at him and sliced the guy’s throat in the same motion.
He was on the bigger werewolf in no time but just as he reached him, the guy lashed out and effortlessly slapped Dean to the ground. He threw Cas down the other way and Dean could see his body twitch where it lay in the dirt. Looking up he realized he was next but the werewolf only managed two steps before John shot him squarely in the head. He toppled over and Dean narrowly avoided getting trapped under him as he shot up to get to Cas.
John was yelling something about one wolf escaping but Dean was hearing none of it. He cradled Cas’ shaking body to his chest, getting blood all over himself. Cas’ brilliantly blue eyes were fogged over and unfocused. His throat was just a gaping hole. The werewolf had either done it on purpose or gotten a little enthusiastic because there was no way Cas was surviving this, no way he would become a werewolf. Oh God, there was no was Cas was surviving this.
Cas. Dean called softly, his voice ragged and his vision bleary from his tears.
Cas, baby, look at me.
Cas’ breath was wheezing out of him and every time he drew a new one the blood spurted faster out of his hole of a neck. But his eyes shifted to lock onto Dean’s.
Yes. Dean sobbed.
That’s right. I’m here. Everything’s fine.
Cas’ lips made that quirk and opened as if he was going to say something but instead his head just lolled to the side, the light in his eyes extinguishing.
Dean turned his head up and screamed out his pain, so sharp in his chest that it made him black out.
Yeah, sorry, this was supposed to be the last chapter but I couldn’t resist a good cliffhanger when I spotted one. What’s the saying? #Sorrynotsorry?
Chapter 7: pt. 26
In which Gabriel is kind of douchey and in which we learn the actual truth of the matter
Lol, some of you are gonna hate me after this…
Seriously though, thank you for reading!
Warning! End notes are spoilers (even though you’ll probably catch on pretty quickly…), don’t be a jerk like me and read them first. Yeah I do that. I’m also the kind of person who reads the last page of a book first. Just awful.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Dean turned his head up and screamed out his pain, so sharp in his chest that it made him black out.
When he opened his eyes again he was sitting on a chair, his hands and feet bound to said chair and his head throbbing. He lifted his head and blinked at the unnaturally sharp light in the warehouse he was in. He blinked rapidly. What the hell was going on? Last he knew he was kneeling in the dirt, Cas’ dead body in his arms. He drew a sharp breath as the pain came rushing back. Cas was dead.
He thrashed in his chair and caught sight of Sam sitting next to him, bound in a similar fashion, his chin resting on his shoulder, looking sound asleep.
Sammy? he called softly but the man didn’t respond. Wait. Man?
Dean frowned and looked down at himself. Yes, that right. They weren’t children, they were in their late twenties. They had never fucking lived in a house like that and had never made plans to go to the same high school for that long. Dean had never been a jock and Cas was not a bullied little twink. He was Castiel, fucking Angel of the Lord and Sam and Dean were hunters extraordinaire and they had an apocalypse to stop. What the hell was going on?
Ah, I see you’ve awakened Dean-o.
He whipped his head around to see Gabriel strolling into view.
Gabe. He mumbled. No. Not right.
Trickster. He growled instead and Gabriel smirked at him.
Trouble keeping dream-land and reality apart Dean?
Dean thrashed against his bond again but to no avail.
What the hell is this?
Gabriel crossed his arms and leaned on one hip.
You know how we have this whole bitch-slap fight between Michael and Lucifer coming up?
Dean’s head hurt but no more so than his chest. God, the sight of Cas dying had cut deeper than he thought it would.
What of it? he gritted out.
Well, I just thought I’d help you make up your minds.
What are you talking about?
Gabriel leaned on his other hip, casually unwrapping a lollipop and it was really hard to distinguish him from dream-Gabe.
Did you like what you had in the dream, Dean?
I… he shook himself, blinking once.
Well, your brother is enjoying himself as well.
Dean looked over to Sam who didn’t give an outwards appearance of experiencing anything.
What is he seeing?
Pretty much the same as you, except in his you’re the supporting brother and he’s the one who enjoys time with his one true love. Gabriel smirked at Dean.
Interesting choice you made in there by the way.
Dean blushed and immediately wished he hadn’t.
I… It was your make-believe. He spat but just blushed deeper when Gabriel smirked wider.
Don’t lay this on me, Dean-o. He laughed.
I just gave you the building blocks, you spun it out of control all on your own.
If it was my doing then what the hell were you doing in there? I hate you.
Aww. Gabriel pouted.
Someone a little grumpy they got their boyfriend killed? Dean drew a sharp breath at that but didn’t respond and Gabriel didn’t seem to want him too. He waved his lollipop in a casual manner.
Doesn’t matter Dean-o. It would’ve all reset and it probably would’ve gone differently the second time. Except the experience was apparently enough to make you wake up. Huh. He tapped his chin in thought as Dean looked away, embarrassed. Then he shrugged.
Anyway, I had to be in there Dean, had to monitor you.
So what was that? My own personal hell, something to look forward too if I don’t say yes to Michael? he sneered.
Hate to break it to you but the real hell is a lot worse. Less sex going on for one.
Gabriel smiled pleasantly at him.
That does sound like hell. He conceded.
But you insult me if you think that that’s what I was doing. He leaned closer to Dean who couldn’t very well retreat in his bound state. He tried, though.
I just wanted to show you what you can have, if you say yes. Your own heaven. Sammy happy, John being a good father and, apparently, Cassie robbing you of your breath.
Dean blushed again. Damnit.
That’s not heaven, it doesn’t work like that.
Your friend Ash’s explanation you mean? Please, as if freaking angels couldn’t give you the kind of heaven you’d want. That you’d deserve.
Yeah, somehow I’m a little wary of celestial beings promising me gold just like that. He looked away from Gabriel’s scrutinizing gaze.
Besides, it wasn’t all fun and roses in there.
What are you talking about? You were made out to be the hero, and you saved the damsel in distress, didn’t you? Some damsel, I’ll admit, but—
You killed him! Dean shouted but was taken aback when Gabriel’s eyes hardened.
No. You killed him. Just like you’ll kill him for real if you continue this ridiculous farce. Castiel is a sweet angel Dean, he doesn’t deserve to fall because of you. So if you’re not seri—
I made that choice on my own, Gabriel.
Gabriel whirled around and Dean was glad he didn’t have to share his relieved face with the archangel. Cas was alive. And here. And angry. Holy shit, he looked pissed off.
Cassie! Gabriel exclaimed and took a few steps towards Cas, extending his arms as if he was going to hug him.
What are you doing here baby bro?
Cas squinted at Gabriel in that way he did when he was either angry or confused. Dean definitely knew which one applied here and so did Gabriel. No head-tilt.
These humans are my charges. Cas stated and stepped back to reveal the sigil he had drawn in his blood on the wall behind him.
Please stop kidnapping them.
Gabriel may or may not have screamed something when Cas put his hand to the sigil, banishing his brother, but none of them heard what. Or at least Dean didn’t. He had to turn his head to the side when the white flash hit him and he caught sight of Sammy rustling to life with an indignant yelp.
Shit, Cas, perfect timing. Dean grunted out as Sam panted and took in his surroundings, obviously as confused as Dean had been.
Cas stalked over to them, head cocked to the side and the sight coupled with his memories from dream-land made Dean’s dick twitch in interest. He wished he could close his thighs.
We don’t have much time. Cas rumbled out in that monotone voice of his and Dean nodded, willing his dick to stop being a jackass.
Get us out of these. He meant the chairs but Cas walked around to their backs, laying his hands on their shoulders and in the next moment they found themselves standing in the middle of the motel room Dean now remembered falling asleep in. Shit, how long had it been? He didn’t feel sore, or hungry, or parched and their stuff hadn’t been thrown out yet. So either just a few days or Gabriel had somehow fed them and this motel didn’t care that they overstayed their visit. It was hard to tell.
Okay, what the hell is going on? Sammy exclaimed and whirled around to stare at Dean in shock.
Short version, alright? he nodded when Sam did.
The Trickster thought he’d give us some taste of what heaven could offer us if we make the sacrifices.
Sam’s eyes rounded out in surprise.
Gabriel did this to make us say yes?
Shit. Sammy dragged his hands through his ridiculously long hair. Dean missed his little, little brother.
I almost want to go back. It almost worked, Dean.
That made Dean angry.
How the hell could you say that? he barked out.
He was messing with our minds. Scrambled out brains.
Yeah, I know. But I had it all in there. We were a family and Jess and I were gonna go to Stanford together and—
Wait. Dean held up a hand to stop his brother from talking.
Weren’t you like thirteen in there?
So what? Sam sat down heavily on one of the beds.
I had Jess back Dean, I had her love and it was beautiful and—
And you know what? Shut up. Dean spat.
You’re not the only one that had something good. You had Jess and I had Cas and we were finally getting—what? he stopped himself when Sammy looked at him, giving him that look and Dean’s shoulders sagged.
Fuck. He’s still standing behind me, isn’t he? Sam gave such a small nod that Dean wouldn’t have caught it if he hadn’t known his brother so well. Whirling around, he faced the confused angel with his brightest smile plastered on.
Cas! Hey buddy, how long have you been there?
Since I rescued you.
Shit. Dean was sweating bullets already.
What did you mean, you ‘had’ me?
You know what? Sammy said, much too loudly, and jumped to his feet.
Someone better do a perimeter control, make sure Gabriel can’t find us again and… Stuff. He pointed to the door with his thumb.
So I’m just gonna go—
Absolutely not. Dean interrupted.
That’s far too dangerous.
I agree. Cas said and Dean jumped when he realized the angel had stepped closer to him.
I should just go.
No! Sam almost tripped over the bed in his haste to get to the car keys.
I’ll go, you… You talk.
With that he was out the door and Cas turned his blue — fucking blue — gaze at Dean again.
Should I go fetch him?
No. Dean sighed and sat down on the bed Sammy had been sitting on.
No, he’s probably fine.
Good. Cas came to stand in front of Dean and Dean was suddenly uncomfortably aware of the fact that his face was at crotch level with the angel.
Because I would like to continue our conversation.
Dean dragged a hand down his face, feeling a million years old. Like Cas. Fucking hell! Why did everything come back to the angel?!
Thank you for saving us. He said after a while when it became apparent that Cas wouldn’t be continuing on his own.
How did you even know where we were?
You prayed to me, Dean. Cas deadpanned and Dean frowned.
How? I was unconscious.
Cas shrugged ever so slightly. A decidedly human trait he had picked up lately and it was so cute it made Dean’s stomach muscles flutter.
I guess whatever happened in Gabriel’s dream-land made such an impact on you that your voice carried out here.
Dean’s eyes softened immediately and he looked down, unable to look Cas in the eye and not cry at the memory.
You died. He said after a long stretch of silence.
How? Cas inquired, as if the notion intrigued him, as if he hadn’t already died when the freaking archangels blew him up.
Dean took a shuddering breath at that memory but managed to look at Cas with dry eyes.
A werewolf, okay? A werewolf tore your throat out.
Cas did that quirk of his lips that made Dean’s chest warm. Even here.
I hardly doubt that. Cas said as casually as Dean had ever heard him.
I am an Angel of the Lord, a mere werewolf could never—
Yeah, well you weren’t a fucking angel in dream-land Cas! Dean yelled, rising to his feet in sudden anger. Goddamn fucking angels messing with his head, making his feelings all jumbled. He didn’t even know what foot to stand on. Cas was looking at him with that tilted look of his.
You weren’t an angel at all, you were a scrawny little twink and I was this stupid jock who thought he had everything figured out and you weren’t even supposed to be there, it was-it was— the words my fault stuck in his throat as the panic bubbled up, making him unable to draw a deep enough breath.
Gentle fingers suddenly prodded his temple and he leaned into the touch, immediately feeling better and he took a shuddering breath. And then another one, calmer, soothing.
Thank you. He whispered when he found his voice again.
Cas was frowning at him but this was his concerned frown. Dean knew the difference.
You were hyperventilating. He explained and Dean nodded, noticing that he was still leaning his face against Cas’ hand. Cas saw him glancing at it and turned it so that his palm rested completely against Dean’s cheek. Dean closed his eyes.
Thinking about losing you makes me panic. He confided and thought he heard Cas’ breath catch. Did angels even breathe? Surely their vessels did? Fuck if he knew.
Dean opened his eyes and saw Cas’ blue ones piercing into him, searching his soul and the notion left him feeling warm inside now, instead of uncomfortable like before.
Dean. Cas breathed out, obviously having seen what Dean had been trying to hide before. No more hiding now.
Kiss me Castiel. He rasped out and Cas blinked once before leaning in.
His lips were soft and warm against Dean’s and Dean moaned into the kiss. It was short and sweet and left Dean trembling in the angel’s hands. He took a step closer, slotting their bodies together. Cas made a strangled sound when their crotches brushed together.
It sounded like I was weaker than you in your fantasy, is that how you would have liked me? he asked, his voice hushed and Dean shuddered from the sound of it.
You were never weak Cas. He mumbled and rolled his hips lazily, delighting in the wave of arousal that shot through him at Cas’ awed expression.
And I like you any way you’ll give me. He answered, finally truthful not only to Cas but to himself as well.
Cas made a rumbly noise at the back of his throat and pushed Dean down on the bed faster than Dean could react. Cas’ weight on top of him felt wonderful and Dean snaked his hands around the slim waist. Here, in this reality, Cas was stronger than Dean, sure, but his body still had a smaller build and Dean loved it.
Cas braced himself on his underarms as he bracketed Dean’s head with them, looking down at him with those piercing blue eyes. It was nice, being seen like this, but Dean was well beyond niceties at this point. He needed the angel right the fuck now.
D-Dean. Cas stuttered out when Dean bucked his hips up against him and their semi-hard cocks pressed together.
I-I don’t know—
It’s alright Cas. Dean mumbled and pulled Cas down for a bruising kiss. Fuck, he just needed to taste the man. No, the angel. His angel.
Just touch me.
Cas moaned and worked his legs up so he could straddle Dean, making their rutting easier. Both men groaned when their cocks pressed together again. Fucking hell, Dean couldn’t wait, already hard enough to hurt. He pressed Cas up a little to get one hand in-between them, working to open their pants.
Get this shit off, Cas. He moaned pathetically and suddenly they were naked against each other. Angel mojo man. Fucking yes.
Cas gasped loudly and threw his head back when their heated skin touched and it was the most beautiful sight Dean had ever seen. He took advantage of the situation and sat up to press Cas against him and rolled them over so that he was on top, slotting them together again. He put his weight on one underarm by Cas’ head, gripping Cas’ hair with that hand and snaked the other down to grip both of their erections in a tight hold.
Dean! Cas groaned and bucked hard against him. Dean could already feel Cas’ pre-come leaking and it made for an excellent lubricant as he started jerking them.
Fuck. Dean moaned and buried his head against Cas’ neck, licking and nipping and Cas finally put his hands on Dean’s body, skimming his strong hands up and down Dean’s flanks.
You feel so good Cas.
Dean, I… You…
I know. Dean’s lips found Cas’ again and he sped up his jacking, feeling his orgasm building all too fast.
Fuck, I won’t last long. Have needed you since forever. He gasped when he felt Cas’ cock jump in his grip.
Feels like I’m about to explode.
Please don’t. Cas pressed out.
Dean laughed breathlessly against Cas’ parted lips.
If I do, will you put me together again?
Every time, Dean.
Cas arched his back and his eyes rolled back in his head. Dean imagined he could feel Cas’ stomach muscles cramping in anticipation of the impending release.
Dean. Cas growled out in that fucking gravelly voice of his and Dean’s hips stuttered when he felt the angel’s come shoot out hot and fast and all over them. Cas shook as his body released itself and Dean buried his head against Cas’ neck again, speeding up his hand on himself, loving the feel of Cas’ spunk lubing him up. Fuck, he was so messed up.
Cas suddenly wrapped his strong arms around Dean’s upper back, snaking a hand into his hair and pressed his lips against Dean’s ear.
Let go for me, Dean. He rumbled out and Dean sobbed brokenly as his body hastened to comply.
His back arched, pressing him down against Cas’ solid body, as his dick jumped in his hand in time with the spurts of come shooting out.
Spent, he collapsed on top of Cas and Cas hugged him tightly to his chest.
So beautiful. Cas mumbled against Dean’s hair.
Your soul, your body, you.
Dean closed his eyes hard as hot tears burned in them, threatening to spill. This felt too good to be real.
I need you Cas. He said, his voice thick with emotions he never could express.
I need you.
Cas gasped slightly with the realization and tightened his embrace so that it was almost constricting. Dean melted against him.
I love you too, Dean.
And that was how Dean knew this was real and not some extended dream-land. Only the real Cas would know what Dean’s need for him really meant. Only his Castiel could distinguish between Dean’s needs.
Okay, you guys, it’s been over an hour. Are you—what the fuck?!
Dean! You were supposed to talk and this happened? What is wrong with you?
I’m a little occupied right now.
I can see. Cas, are you alright?
I’m fine, thank you.
The door slammed shut again and Dean breathed a sigh of relief. The sigh got stuck in his throat when Cas shifted behind him and his dick moved ever so slightly in Dean’s tight hole.
Do you think he’ll be okay? Cas asked and didn’t sound effected at all. Bastard.
He’s fine. Dean grunted and tried to press back against Cas’ hips but the angel held him firmly in place. Fucking angelic strength. Dean loved it.
He’s seen me in compromising positions before.
This certainly got a reaction from the angel. Cas gripped Dean’s hips hard enough to bruise and leaned down over Dean’s quivering back. The minimal slide of his cock in Dean’s ass was heavenly.
He’s seen you with other men? Cas all but growled in Dean’s ear and Dean craned his neck back, baring it for the angel.
N-no. He stuttered.
He’s seen me with women.
Oh. Cas straightened and eased his grip a bit, slowly starting to thrust inside Dean. More like a slow grind of his hips and Dean shook with need.
You jealous? he gasped out and this earned him a particularly hard thrust. Oh, fucking yes.
I wanted to be the first man to take you. Cas admitted and picked up speed with his hips. He was grazing Dean’s prostate every once in a thrust and Dean was getting delirious with the friction it created. Pleasure shot up and down his spine and pooled heatedly in his lower stomach. Fuck, he wanted to reach down and jerk himself to release.
You are. He groaned out.
Never thought of other men like this before.
Good. Cas punctuated his statement with his hips before grabbing a handful of Dean’s sweaty hair and pulling him up. The pain in Dean’s scalp was like sharp needles and he keened from the pleasure that crashed over him.
And you will continue not thinking of other men. Cas growled against Dean’s ear when he had him flushed back to chest, one hand in his hair and the other in a vice-like grip around his torso.
Dean grabbed the arm around his chest tightly.
Shit, Cas, where’s all this coming from? You weren’t like this before, what happened? he wasn’t complaining, just stupid with the need to come.
Cas chuckled and the action had his dick jumping inside Dean. Dean moaned pitifully and grounded his ass back, wanting the thrusting to start up again.
I took the liberty to learn a few things while you slept.
H-how? I was out for like ten minutes.
Twenty, and I’m an extremely fast learner. He demonstrated by starting to thrust again and even though their new position didn’t give him much leverage the thrusts were still powerful and Dean was soon sobbing from need, his dick hard enough to hurt. It was fucking delicious.
Cas. He panted out.
Cas, need to come.
Go ahead, Dean. Cas rasped against Dean’s ear.
I think you’ll manage with just my cock.
No, no, need more, please.
You know, Cas started, his voice a deep rumble in his chest that translated into Dean’s sweaty body and made Dean breathless.
I also took time to look through your memories of your time in dream-land. I was pretty timid in there. He licked the skin under Dean’s ear and Dean clawed at his arm.
Except when the sex started, I was pretty dominant there, wouldn’t you say?
Yes, yes, Cas. Dean hastened to agree because what else could he do? It was true for one and besides, his need to come was so damn pressing that he could hardly swallow. His dick bobbed obscenely with every thrust of Cas’ hips and the friction was just on the wrong side of enough.
Even though I played the bottom. Cas added, as if in afterthought.
I dominated even from that position. But you’re not like that, are you Dean? You’re my obedient little bottom.
Fuck. Dean sobbed out as his hole clenched around Cas’ dick. If Cas kept talking like this he might just come untouched after all.
Cas bent down and mouthed at Dean’s neck and shoulder.
So good, Dean. He gasped.
I may have learned a few tricks but I haven’t learnt restraint.
Dean knew what that meant and he craned his head to the side to get Cas’ lips on his. The angle was awkward but the kiss was fucking amazing.
Just-just a little longer Cas. He panted out against the angel’s mouth.
Need to come so badly, need you in me.
Cas’ hips picked up the pace and the hand Cas’ had had in Dean’s hair slid down to his hip and gripped it hard.
So good, Dean. He praised and Dean arched his back when Cas angled his hips to strike Dean’s prostate hard on almost every thrust.
Your tight heat around me, your sounds, Dean. My Dean, my Righteous Man.
Dean arched his back again, his head hitting Cas’ shoulder and his eyes rolled back in his head. The orgasm was right there, needing the release and he whined high-pitched and desperate, not even ashamed anymore because with Cas there would be no shame. Cas loved him, just like he was.
Then suddenly there was a hand on his dick, slim fingers wrapped around his heated flesh and tugged. A scream tore itself from him when his dick erupted in thick spurts, shooting farther and harder than he ever had before. The relief was almost too much and it was only when he came down from the high that he realized that he had one hand in Cas’ hair and that his other hand had raked bloody paths along the arm Cas had clamped around Dean’s chest.
Cas didn’t seem to mind though, just pulled out of Dean and turned him, flinging him down on the bed. Dean landed on his back, still limp from his release, and expected to land in a disgusting puddle of his own come but felt no such thing. As Cas climbed over him, lifting Dean’s legs out of the way and sliding home again, Dean realized groggily that Cas must’ve mojo’d the bed clean in that millisecond before he pushed Dean down on it.
Dean didn’t know why but the angel’s care had tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Fortunately, Cas was preoccupied with finding the right angle for his thrusts and when he looked up Dean had already wiped the tears away.
Dean stretched down and pulled Cas up so that they were face to face.
Fucking hell, Cas. He mumbled against the angel’s mouth as they kissed sloppily and Cas’ thrusts became increasingly desperate.
Cas, my angel. Need you, you are mine.
Yes, Dean. Cas gasped in answer.
Forever yours. He buried his head against Dean’s neck as his own orgasm pounded out of him and Dean loved the way it felt when Cas’ dick expanded and spent itself inside of him.
He wrapped his legs around Cas’ shaking body and petted his head as they rocked gently together long after they’d gotten too sensitive.
Dean never wanted to leave. Fuck responsibilities, fuck the apocalypse and fuck the rest of the angels. He had everything he wanted right here. The thought had him groaning in dismay and Cas looked up, concerned.
What’s wrong, Dean?
I just realized I’m happy.
Cas actually managed to cock his head to the side, even in his cramped position. It was hilariously adorable.
Isn’t that a good thing? he inquired and Dean pecked him on his frown.
Of course, but it probably means I’ll have to thank Gabriel and I don’t fancy being in that douche bag’s dept.
Oh. Cas looked to be in deep thought for a while and then he slid out of Dean — Dean did not miss him already — to lie on his side beside Dean.
Now that I think about it, don’t you think his explanation about putting you in dream-land was a little stunted? I mean, I don’t think the angels would reward Sam very much for saying yes to Lucifer, even though they want the apocalypse to happen. They have a cruel sense of lawfulness after all. And the premise of the dream-land was almost ridiculous, don't you agree?
Dean just stared at Cas while he talked, trying to concentrate on his words and not his lips moving and failing. That was why it took him a couple of seconds too long to realize what Cas was actually saying. Cas was smiling at him when Dean’s eyes finally rounded out in surprise.
You think he was trying to hook us up?
Cas’ smile grew.
Who knows? He is the Trickster after all.
Dean slapped a hand down on the mattress.
Son of a bitch!
He likes to play around, that’s true, but I actually think he might be on our side. Cas looked down and fiddled with the sheets.
I mean, I know how I feel and you are exceptionally stubborn.
Dean whipped his head around to look at his angel. Fuck, was Cas saying what he thought he was saying? It couldn’t be, right? And yet, here they were and here Cas was, looking shy even after the mind-blowing sex they’d just had.
Shut up. Dean almost whispered and meant it as an exclamation of surprise but of course his perfect little angel took him literally.
Cas looked up and locked eyes with Dean.
Make me. He challenged and heat pooled in Dean’s chest and stomach alike.
The yelp that Cas let out when Dean pounced on him was so like dream-Cas’ yelp that Dean’s heart skipped a beat. But this Cas was alive. Alive and squirming willingly in Dean’s arms. So fucking perfect it hurt Dean’s brain.
Boom! That’s some M. Night Shyamalan-shit right there! World’s oldest cliché ending with the dream-scape and everything. Also, sex.
How do you like them bananas?!
P.S. Thank you all so very much! You guys are the best <3